Watch What Crappens - SHAHS: So Much To Seder

Episode Date: September 22, 2018

"The Shahs of Sunset" are up to so many exciting things. GG has giant candy bowls, Morgan cracked a bowling ball, Adam is Jewish now, Destiney likes Doritos, and Vida hates cheesy traditions.... Come check out our latest recap! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Starting point is 00:00:42 Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson! Susie, going to the Tobin! Hava, Nagila Weber! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master! Give them hell!
Starting point is 00:01:01 Miss Noel! The incredible, edible Matthews sisters! And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- Watch what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what Happens when there's so much that crap is Poppins
Starting point is 00:01:19 Poppins And crap And crap And crap And crap Watch what crap is Watch what crap is I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me as usual is the lovable and wonderful.
Starting point is 00:01:51 The podcast husband, work husband of my life, Ronnie Caram from Roseprix Bachelor, Rose Pricks Bachelor, Rose podcast. Hey Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hello, Ben Jamunals. Oh, how's life in Texas? Girl, I'm laying in my bed. In Texas, at my mom's house. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:11 My nieces have glued those little glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling. Oh. So it's like you're another lady. I'm just laying in. Yeah. So I'm just laying here. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:21 I'm waiting for my dad to come in and not bother me, as you guys want to do yeah? Nothing will attract a parent more than telling them okay Can you guys make sure you don't come into my room for the next 90 minutes while I record a podcast? Pair yes, of course. No, they will not come in and then all of a sudden I just Defined the scissors don't worry about me. I'm like, okay, yes. Anyway, you can't hear me, right? That's what my dad says. They can't hear me.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Sometimes my dad will enter and he'll be making the noise as if like, I'm like dad. You walking through him going, shhh. Does not mean that you're being quiet. Like you're acknowledging that there should be silence in the room But you're actually creating noise in the process. This is you're being more distracting by coming in with an over exaggerated Finger to your face He's just trying to give himself some white noise to cover. Yeah, it's like wait is the tide rolling in? It's old black my TV on trying to move your office? You're all falling asleep.
Starting point is 00:03:27 Yeah, quite nice. Ah, man. So speaking of Texas, we got a show in Dallas in February, which we're really excited about. It's actually sold out. But if you missed your chance for tickets, let us know because of enough people say they want us to do a second show.
Starting point is 00:03:44 We'll try to do a second show. We'll try to do a second show. We also next month, we have two shows in New York. One of those is sold out as well, but we have the first show on October 11th. There are still some tickets available, where we'll be talking about Real Housewives of Dallas. See, it's all about Texas today. And then in November, we're doing Seattle,
Starting point is 00:04:06 which is going to be amazing. I love Seattle. I love the space. Needle. I love a seafood moment, which is really good for free. Sure. We both love. Crazy. Rain, Nirvana. I came at fun fact. I came at the Closet in Seattle. So y'all are good for you. That was some good dick. That was in good Seattle dick. Well, it wasn't because of dick.
Starting point is 00:04:28 I was sitting on the, I was sitting on the pier with my friends having, and we had marching use and oysters and you know, sometimes things happen. How could you, how could you, how could you come out of the closet eating the most vaginal food ever invented, by the way? So I was like, this is disgusting. I can't have it anymore. I've had it. Finally, I'm going to tell you before I put this big old badge in my mouth.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I can't do it. I'm going to hot down. These symbolic vaginas are too much for me. Yeah, so see that. And then we do Nashville in December. So watch our crappens.com is where you get all that stuff. Guys, normally I would apologize for taking so long to chill our tickets, but it may actually be more entertaining than talking about the Shaza Sunset. So you're welcome. But today
Starting point is 00:05:15 we are going to talk about Shaza Sunset. You got this is good. We're back on track with our Shaza Sunset coverage. We've been wonky with Shaz. They are back here on our podcast, Shaza Sunset. The adventure continues for these people. You know, it's a big exciting adventure. I'm like transfixed by Morgan's eyebrows at all times and that's what's getting me through the season. Yeah, you know, on a normal show, it would just be so easy to throw hatred
Starting point is 00:05:45 towards Morgan or at Morgan because she seems like the type that we would want to hate, right? Yeah, but like on this show, I'm like somebody saved Morgan. So you can be me, like, all help her. I mean, I'm almost double her age at this point. I will go help Morgan.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Okay, I want to mentor her and be like, listen, these are what assholes are like. And this is what abstaining and just staying at home and getting that flicks looks like. Yeah, yeah. I actually agree. I feel like I've turned a corner with Morgan where I am now feeling sympathetic for her, you know, like up until this point, I was like, she just sort of seemed like a plastic bag, you know, with brows. But now I'm like, no, no, she is someone who is in a terrible situation. She's with a condescending dick of a guy who crashed side-swipes cars on the regular. We need to save her.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Yeah, I mean, she is kind of like a dryer sheet. Yeah, she's a little bit. Yeah. Dryer sheets do a lot of good for this world, so. Yeah, I mean, she is like a can on tuna, you know, with large breasts. But like, but I like tuna. Yeah, I, I just want her to escape. It's, it's unbelievable how these people can get worse by the year. I mean, Mike, what a fucking asshole. It's like, and you know what? Look, we know from just being gay and drag culture in general that you put, you
Starting point is 00:07:01 put some fall sea, some falls eyelashes and give some queen and eyebrow pencil. And it just changes their whole personality. And we're seeing that happen with Mike, you know? I feel like ever since he walked into a Sephora, it's just been downhill. Yeah, I think it's been down. I think actually he's been going downhill for about 20 years, but now like the grade of the hill has increased.
Starting point is 00:07:24 And now he's gone from casually sort of sliding downhill to suddenly plummeting. Face first, damn it. Face first on, not even a good sled. It's like, he's not even has, he's like, I'm one of those circle sleds where you're like, what is the point of this? You fall right out of it.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Like, why do people even use the circle to circle sleds like an inner tube? No, no this it's like This when when you are sledding You know like growing up my favorite sled was this big long green sled It wasn't like an old-fashioned one. We actually did have an old-fashioned one that was like wooden with like With like metal like razor blade things, you know, like, it's not like we're running the I did a rod, but, you know, but most, that's what I felt like on that thing.
Starting point is 00:08:10 But like, most kids, I feel like in the Northeast or in Snowy regions, a sled, you want something that's sort of like long that you can like sit in for your feet forward and maybe even have like a break situation. But then some people, sometimes you just get stuck with a big circle and you just go down in the circle and the circle sucks, because you just rotate around and chances are you fall out of the circle really easily
Starting point is 00:08:33 whereas the long one is more stable. And Mike is in the circle, spinning around in circles, getting ejected and falling on his face in the snow. Yeah, okay, Michael is the circle sled, it's official. Oh, I feel like I'm tapping on your table. Oh, you know, no, I actually wasn't, but you know what though, I think I swiveled and my chair thumped the table. Oh, it sounds like rain is hitting, but I'm wearing really cheap headphones because I'm in my travel gear today. So you may actually just be hearing my chair. Maybe it's just like my table is just like rattling
Starting point is 00:09:05 with the idea of this like extended mic metaphor. The table's like, I can't please, please stop talking about my picture to you over there freaking out over my like, oh he's on a circle fled. He's on a circle fled. He's like, tap your table. I actually have a very serious question. Have you ever gone sledding?
Starting point is 00:09:25 I used to go in ourubing as a kid, because my parents are from that time where your parents are from, obviously, where everything was very dangerous. You know, the sleds with the razors, like you said. You know, people just, kids I knew would carry around little shotgun things, like little BB guns. I mean, it was a much more dangerous time. And my parents are kind of posties with that stuff. You know, my mom, I've never broken a bone.
Starting point is 00:09:50 I mean, I've never really moved off the couch. Let's face it like, how would I? But my mom has always been very like, don't hurt yourself. And my dad is like, we're not going to have a gun because that would be killing things. And we don't do that. So we always have like the safer version of shit. Like other kids went to European camp. I went to sex chat, camp at church camp. You know what I mean? Like we just had a
Starting point is 00:10:10 very innocent way. So I had like inner tubes is the short story. Well inner tube can still be dangerous. I actually once had a very I had an inner tube down a mountain like like a down a snowy bank thing that that was horrifying and I was ejected and landed on my head and I think I got a concussion or something. Yeah, they're still dangerous, but like if you fall off an inner tube, first of all you're kind of an idiot, I mean no offense, but I fell off on plenty of time. Well, it depends how what sort of mountain you're going down. If you're going down a mic shoe head slope, then you are most likely going to get ejected from the tube. Right. If you follow that, I mean, there's no more protection than an inner tube.
Starting point is 00:10:49 You know what I mean? Unless you were in a big bubble. It's that. If you follow that and it hits you on the head as you tumble down, you're okay. If you do that on one of the razor sleds, you're going to lose your fucking head. No one uses those razor sleds anymore or sledge is or whatever they're called wait, did you go sledding in Texas? We went in our tubing. So in Texas, you know, I mean, there were no mountains. There was no mountains. So in New
Starting point is 00:11:15 Mexico, yeah, we had a little family cabin in Rio do so my city and Jiddy had one. We would go, you know, do all that kinds of shit there. Okay. All right. I was just curious So let's move on. Let's get into this shot recap. Okay, we're both so psyched for shouts. We're like, what are you? Bob sleds are inner tubes Luz or skeleton Anyway, but speaking of speaking of faces that look like they're going like face first 120 miles per hour down a path, let's talk about these people. So we start, we open up with Tommy and Vita and MJ and Leora the wedding planner.
Starting point is 00:11:58 They're all at the Jeremy hotel upon Sunset Boulevard getting ready to plan MJ's big wedding. You know, if there's one thing that we hate, maybe slightly less than little children on Bravo, I think it's wedding planning. It just has zero appeal to me. But Vita makes it interesting, you know? Vita does, and I like how these shows kind of dovetail with my real life.
Starting point is 00:12:20 Like I'm in Texas right now, you know, my mom's very beautiful and is always like, oh my god, how much do you wait? You know, my whole life was like in and out of wait watchers and stuff. I mean, I really think I have a wait problem because I rebel against it. And I'm like, haha, fatter now. What do you think of that bitch? You know, like I have that rebellious teenager still in me. So when Vita, what I want to evolve, okay, I won't tell that story. So Vida is kind of like my mom right now. She's like, oh, MIA, you look so nice. You've lost a lot of weight, MIA.
Starting point is 00:12:51 You're almost thin. Like you're almost thin enough to truly love MIA. Yeah, almost. So Vida already has many complaints. She's like, look at this. Okay, at five o'clock in Los Angeles, it's going to be sun shining, right? Don gas. Who wants these? Who wants sun and eyes? Who wants sun? You know, and they're like, okay. Tommy's like it moves out of the way, Peter. Okay. It's not there over time. Yeah
Starting point is 00:13:18 Oh, you move it. Okay, good. Yeah, he must have sun. He arranged it. And he's like science is awesome, ain't it? Yeah, and so then the official interrives and then a lady comes and she is the Sophie oft designer. I believe that's what it's called and it's this traditional Oh, pray so fret whatever it is so free So free. Yeah, I mean I put so I put so far, you know So she's the sofa designer. She's just gonna be there too She's supposed or something, but basically like it's a traditional thing with lots of different components and the so man This guy is gonna explain to all basically the white people in the audience what everything is and be just like oh No, no, it's this boring M. Yay M. Yay is boring like that's of it That kind of stuff is cheesy because it is old custom, M.Y.
Starting point is 00:14:07 How about we talk ping pong? We discuss ping pong to guess, M.Y. Yeah. Only fanatic families talk about these. Okay, we are not fanatic family. Too loved. Yeah, I'm sorry. Even fanatic families are looking at Peter being like, she's scary. I know. And also, weren't either one who just bitched at Reset about a dead goldfish
Starting point is 00:14:28 like an hour ago? I know you're on goldfish patrol. Okay, don't talk about fanatics. Okay. But what is everything in the Shaws of Sunset have to do with the table? I mean, have you noticed like every holiday, it's like, what are we putting on this table? This table has a bunch of shit that represents this. Then we go to Passover and they do it too.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Yeah, no, it's a big table-oriented culture. That's what I'm learning from this show. And I like that Vita is saying that discussing what's going in the sofa, the sofa, the sofa, the loft, whatever, that it's, she's like, this is too cheesy, it's too cheesy. I'm like, too cheesy. You're the lady wearing like turquoise eyeshadow right now. You're the one wearing like a hyper
Starting point is 00:15:12 color top with like a gold medallion. You're the my girlfriend alone. This is the only thing making this wedding bearable is Vita walking around like, you guys are going to divorce in two days. He's not good enough for you. One day you'll be thin enough and this table is stupid. Okay, I'm here for Viva. I mean, I'm always here for Vita. Let's be honest. Vita is life. Yeah, that is of life, of life. So then we go and we find Reza. He's at a restaurant called like Shiloh or something and he's just like sitting at the table watching a video of Adam
Starting point is 00:15:47 At the Mikva getting you know getting his last touches of Judaism At first I was like why is Resid just watching Adam swimming in like a pool This is really dull because even Resid like bored. He's like okay. There he is the Emerald Breaker But then I mean Jessica went to Malibu. Like Jessica jumped out of a helicopter and went to Malibu. And Adam went to, you know, Vita Spa or Vota Spa. Vita Spa.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Vita Spa is terrifying. Okay, I'ma saw you now. You fat. You fat, I can't put my hands on you. I lose my hands, I'm fat, you're fat. can't put my hands on you my lose my hands are fat your fat She just ping pongs your back. Yeah, like ping pong paddles your back But but but Adam is in the mikvah, which is like it's like a it's like a little pool and you go in and everything It's like a whole it's a very like sacred thing. It's part of the conversion, etc So then like it was like the why well, I mean look like it looked like the why. It doesn't, the McFod is not
Starting point is 00:16:47 necessarily a pretty thing, but it is, it is a sacred thing. So, um, Hey, look, Christians just like shove your head in a bowl. Okay, so like you guys win for sure on this. Tamara got baptized and like, Fikis backyard pool. So I mean, how sacred can these things be sometimes?
Starting point is 00:17:02 Or I shouldn't say sacred sacred but like aesthetics or not always the actually no tamarind did it at a hotel but either way it was like a Howard Johnson's so she was like looking to in or some shit just like continental breakfast batch so my baptist still want the baby on batch baptist pancised and highly prized for my continental breakfast batch Free wife a batch During dear Jesus, where's the ice machine batch dear Jesus. Thanks for the mr. Coffee and my Jesus sweet batch Oh my god, who left the light on that? Like that's what they do at my tells the example Bet I got bapt in a courtyard.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Really? No, a courtyard by my route. Batch. Is me moving my mic around making noises? Like, I don't hear it. Okay, sorry if it is everybody. I'm literally in the fetal position right now. I would be too.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Because we're talking about, like, naked Adam in a pool. So Mike joins and Ressa is basically like, so Mike, I give away all my money to start up a shampoo business with two people and Mike's like, uh, bro, bro, uh, I don't think you want to have a child. I like, I'm Mike and even I can figure this out. But it's like a person I want to have a child. I would love to have something spit up on my $15,000 Air Mastro blanket. Oh my God, can you imagine? You're right, that baby is gonna cause havoc. Raza is gonna be taping the baby's mouth shut.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And like wrapping it in saran, wrapping putting it in the fridge. So it doesn't make a mess. If I were Raza, I would just hang up a bunch of red curtains around the living room and just pretend it was like the black lodge and twin peaks with all that chevron on the floor. Adam would be talking backwards. He's like, Maybe when we go hell. I am the Adam.
Starting point is 00:18:58 I am. This is the form I tick. When are we having a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad And this is the form I tick Man We're having huh Yeah, it makes sense actually because in the latest one peak There's a whole thing with like a little green ring and like when like I went there was like these topos We're like fake people and when they like die the little ring like falls off on the ground so it's like very classic Adam for a little green thing to fall on the ground
Starting point is 00:19:31 Mike is just so classy in this whole scene he's like Shalom, Shalom and the home That's gross and then rest is like hey have you seen that little Facebook video of the beavers claiming themselves and rolling around? Oh, me neither. I'll show you that right after I show you Adam in a pool. So he shows him Adam and he's like, wow,
Starting point is 00:19:52 that's the beavers were hotter. And then they start talking about how he doesn't want a baby. And then that is Adam's cue. He's like, hello, Falagio. Hi. Hi. Hi, Jewish person. I'm a Judy and some two. You guys just like, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Like, so like not as, like, you know, at least when when Jessica converted, and that's two conversions on this show so far, when she converted, at least Mike was there on the hug during a table and it was like, and it was actually like a genuinely sweet emotional moment and rest is like oh congratulations here's a menu. Would you like a diet coke? You sure could use one. I'm sorry I wasn't there to hold a towel for you but I sold it to invest in the shampoo company. Gosh, it's time to go to a commercial. Aw, Craig.
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Starting point is 00:21:38 I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Mike is like, oh, so you're a Jewish now. Wow, this is really recognized by the state of Israel, right? Like, okay, Mike, you're gonna check their paperwork. Hey, Mike, where are your baby shoes? Yeah, how about that? Are those recognized by the state of Israel also?
Starting point is 00:22:02 Yeah, I'm not kidding. Were you a little like old maybe and got baby shoe rip offs recognized by the state of Israel also. Yeah, I'm not kidding. Were you a little like old maybe and got baby shoe rip offs recognized by the state of Israel? I really wanna know. I like to think that he's just at this point making little like, little like insect shoes
Starting point is 00:22:16 because his shoes have just gone smaller season by season. So like two years ago, it was full size shoes, then baby shoes, and now it's like little cricket shoes. There's like some cricket out there walking around with like some stupid like solid gold shoes or whatever they were called. Tom Puppets. So then they're talking. Well Adam, okay now basically Mike has just decided that Adam is the woman so he's just gonna treat Adam like shit because he's a woman. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah. So Morgan, he goes, it's Morgan at you. Are you gonna make her
Starting point is 00:22:50 convert? Okay, you don't make somebody do Adam. Look, I'm on your side, Adam. Okay, let me say on your side. So then Mike starts chewing with his mouth open. I just want to say that when when they asked is Morgan and Jew and Mike goes no at this point my DVR was like No need to see the rest of the scene It literally did the thing that it's been doing lately where it sort of like Scramble and then moved ahead like two minutes because all of a sudden next thing I saw was traffic I was like wow even my DVR doesn't want to see the rest of this play out Your DVR is like listen no one's forcing me to watch a conversion.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Yeah. So what does Mike say after after all this? Mike is eating this steak and he just keeps getting like an entire, it looks like an entire filet mignon on his fork and shoving it in his mouth with each bite. And he's chewing with his mouth open, which is just gross. My everything about gross, Mike is gross to me right now, okay? There's just no getting past it. So he's like, he tells us, my parents, they love Jessica and they loved her so much that they look overlooked at two fundamental things,
Starting point is 00:23:54 being Persian and being Jewish. And even though she converted when the marriage fair, they pinpointed those two issues as to why the marriage was doomed. And then they show a clip of his mom and she's like, Mike, when someone comes from a different culture, they're going to be more issues. Yeah. Um, really? Is it because she's a white girl that might constantly fucking cheated on her and embarrassed her publicly? Really? I don't even think, I don't actually even think Si's saying that is really that, I don't think that's like that bad or crazy. I think that what she's saying is realistic. When there's, when two different cultures come together, there will be clashes. That's why there's a term called culture clash. think that's like that bad or crazy. I think that what she's saying is realistic. When there's two different cultures come together, there will be clashes.
Starting point is 00:24:26 That's why there's a term called culture clash. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. And there are challenges with that. But like you said, the issue is not that she came from a different culture. The issue is that Mike cheated on her ass. I mean, also she kind of sucked.
Starting point is 00:24:39 But mainly, Mike cheated. The problem is also that Mike is attracted to these like vapid ladies. I'm sorry. There's these vapid Hollywood ladies that we see all around this town. We know what they are. And it's, I'm not blaming Jessica for this. I'm just saying it never was going to work out because there was no, it was, there was
Starting point is 00:25:00 no there there as they say. And he cheated on her and, and like, you know, I'm you know, I'm not gonna let Sue take the blame for this. It's Mike that takes the blame. I'm blaming Sue for making it sound like it was the culture. It was because she wasn't person and that's why it was doomed to fail. No, this is America and there are many different cultures who marry into each other and don't cheat on each other. Okay, your son's a dick.
Starting point is 00:25:27 So you feel without first, your son's an irresponsible piece of shit and you should deal with that before you start blaming some girl, not being your same religion. You ask for it. I mean Jessica sucks too. Let's not forget. She does kind of sucks. Jessica sucks a gigant. Well, I mean, she married Mike.
Starting point is 00:25:41 You know what I mean? Exactly. Everyone has low standards on this show. It's really terrible. Look, birds of a feather you shoot together. Okay, it's not like one bird is nicer than the other They look like a chicken. They get they get put in a sandwich that's the they're not even they're like crackles to crack So So then we unless they're doing one more part. Yeah, there's one more part. It's very important So Mike gets another huge slab of me and he's like,
Starting point is 00:26:06 and it looks like he's threatening Adam. He's like dangling at Adam while he talks. And he's like, you're gonna get your dual circumcise now? And Adam's like, dude, I've been circumcised. And he goes, oh, you have? Then he chomps on his meat and he goes, nice. That's nice. Like does Mike think that every single person in porn is Jewish?
Starting point is 00:26:26 Yeah. Just to appease his mother. Like you can only look at porn if the men in it are Jewish. Okay, my circumcised voice, Mike, you're, we're paying for your internet again. Oh God. So speaking of unsettling things, we then go over to a restaurant where MJ and Destiny
Starting point is 00:26:44 have met up. And MJ is wearing a choker that I believe says done. I'm not sure. He just has done or gone or bone either way. Like you're literally not done. Like you're just starting. She's like, I'm done. Oh my God. I can't bet things go. I think it was the choker saying it. The choker's like, I'm done. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I'm done listening to whatever is coming out of this throat. Yeah because the Destiny shows up but she starts
Starting point is 00:27:10 talking about her dad. Destiny is like a person who is in line behind you at the DMV or the Apple store where you're just like you don't really want to you don't really want to talk to her. You don't really know who she is but she's prattling on and you're forced to listen to her and you're not even, you're just, she's talking to someone else, but you're just forced to listen to it, to whatever is like going on and she's not letting the other person talk. She's just babbling on, non and on and you're just thinking, I just can't wait to get out of this DMV so I don't ever have to hear this person again and she's just prattling on. Now she's, so she's talking about her dad and she's sort of misleading because up into this point I was under, under the impression that her dad left when there were kids and then was never heard or seen
Starting point is 00:27:54 from again. And now we're finding out that oh no, no, he came around like 10 years ago and, and when he came around she was just like emotional and scared and she shut down and didn't get to ask the questions that she wanted to ask and all that. And then she starts to cry on her interview and starts fanning herself with a big giant fan. But I'm like, you know, I, you know, 10 years is a long time to go without seeing your dad. And like for sure, still like the PI is warranted. But I kind of felt like we were so we were like given a story of like a giant childhood gaping wound that like a father you haven't seen in 30 years and you don't even know if he's like like like he's like that's that's a little different
Starting point is 00:28:37 than you haven't seen him 10 years since 10 years I think. Yeah, I mean, I don't know like destiny seems so Real to me that and she seems like so nice You know, I'm just kind of like oh she's sweet, but she's also that girl that like I want to be friends with and go Have lunch with because she'll listen to me mostly Which is basically what she does on this show, you know She'd like has to listen to everybody else's bullshit and then the one time she comes up with problems I'm like, oh my God, I didn't realize I've never left this person talk before and this is why.
Starting point is 00:29:09 Yeah, and then I'm like mad. I'm like, oh my God, I let her listen to me and now I'm paying for it. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that's a very good point. I mean, she seems totally nice, like totally nice, totally fun, but like sort of uninteresting. But like shut up.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah, shut up. Like, you're here to listen to me. You know what I mean? You're like, she's ultimately a friend of. She's like, she's not a cast member in that line. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So this is the thing that sounded weird to me. Because, well, first of all, she calls like Jessica Fletcher,
Starting point is 00:29:43 the person Jessica Fletcher from Murder She Written over. Just go flip down. Excuse me, her name is Monique, all right? She's like, I have gotten all the evidence and I have put it together on a table and each food symbolizes what I have found. You are mocking a culture right now, just say it out. Just say it out. It's so wet. Why should this scoff being integrated? You are mocking a culture right now just say you know just say you know
Starting point is 00:30:11 It's so what why should this is called being integrated? Okay. We're all allowed to mock each other. Okay fine So I mean tables I'm by beneath okay. I've been here making twenty two you are from the Levant Just so I could make my dad happy so I kind of get it So this is what got me so Destiny's telling us the story at all note she didn't get the p.i.a. we have a maria but she's telling mj that she hired one and uh... she's like here was a thing that really broke me this was that well one time uh... my dad called and you're getting calls from this man that you don't even know as your father and finally i got enough balls to say
Starting point is 00:30:45 You're not my father because my father would never leave me and he said you're not my daughter because my daughter would never speak to me like that Girl if you tell any if you talk like that to any of my old country families Yeah, you know, you would have been spacked on the head with the newspaper Yeah, also she had called 777 film and she was talking to the movie film guy three families. Yeah. You know, you would have been spacked on the head with the newspaper. Yeah. Also, she had called 777 film and she was talking to the movie film guy. So he's like, I don't know who you are. He's like, how worth the duck. Oh, my God. You're not my daughter, because my daughter would ask for movie times. Why don't you tell me
Starting point is 00:31:24 what you want to see. But even teasing her, it's like so sad, you know, I want everybody to, yeah, I want everybody to have a dad and Justini seems so nice and I want her to have a dad. I just really don't want to watch it. Yeah, like, why don't your dad after work? You know what I mean? He shows up to work and looks for their dad. Okay, this after it. Yeah. Why'd your dad after work? You know what I mean? He shows up to work and looks for their dad. Can't see this after work.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah. So then she immediately flees to the bathroom to cry. So MJ is like, I see a lot of myself in Destiny, which, by the way, Destiny, Red Flag, get to therapy very quickly. So MJ goes into the bathroom to cheer her up. And she's like, mentor MJ. Yeah, MJ the mentor. So mentor June, that's what MJ stands for. So she's like, she's like, Hey, look at the mirror and
Starting point is 00:32:12 see how fierce you are. Look at how fierce you are. How can you even have a serious conversation and look this fierce? Destiny is like wearing flannel with like a baseball cap with her hair sort of like stuck out the back and no makeup on. I'm like, hmm. Yeah, she's wearing like silver like flannels. Yeah. I was like, maybe if you were working at a liquor store and silver like maybe if you run Hyperion Boulevard that you would be fierce. And just MJ as a mentor in general is fun. It's like the opposite of Susan powder, you know It's like do not eat do not breathe and for Christ's sake do not move. I mean she talks about how much solid armor She's built up from all of her pain. You have not built up armor. Okay, you've put rubber into your face
Starting point is 00:32:59 You put like you've just become your own Blow up thing in the car. What's that thing in the car where you crash in it? The thing you're hearing is stuff that protects you in a car crash, by the way. So, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I mean, no, but that's not solid armor, you know what I mean. She's talking about building up emotional armor. Like you have not built up emotional armor.
Starting point is 00:33:19 You've literally melted things down and injected them into your face. She has emotional airbags. So um, literal airbags. So meanwhile, this show has basically run out of money because they don't even have b-roll footage of cars and traffic. They just show like three stock photos of cars in the rain at this point for their transition. And we see GG.
Starting point is 00:33:42 She's now at Neema's studio getting ready for her. She now, you know, there's this like business storyline that she's doing Starting up some sort of cannabis something or another. So she's gonna do a photo shoot And Neema's like this is the GG that I didn't I didn't expect to see this sort of GG Like she is Demura and she's shy and it's endearing it. This is not Gonesa This is what this is is this is someone else This is the different side of her. I'm like oh god Yeah, and Neema's not desperate to be on TV at all and hasn't studied every season of the bachelor at all
Starting point is 00:34:14 He's like I'm seeing someone vulnerable Shut up. Yeah, and she is down. Gigi starts talking about how she wants to have a baby But she doesn't want to be with someone who's in a relationship and all that. You know, she's like, and Nima's like, wow, that's actually pretty cool. So they start doing this photo shoot and Gigi's like, oh my god, like, I don't know what to do. Which I hate when people do that when they're on TV, because you've been on this show for like eight years. You've walked in a fashion show, and like also, if you've been in a TV show That means you've done photo shoots for like press for Bravo for magazines. I'm sorry So like please don't give me the I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do this like I can't
Starting point is 00:34:54 Just like you guys this isn't helping you're just staring at me And normally it's like name. It's like normally I wouldn't get involved But I want a channel goal, that's a set of lock nests. Yeah, the world will fall in love with her and just out of million products. I'm like, I'm not, I'm not sure that. I'm not sure this proof of concept
Starting point is 00:35:20 has really been achieved yet. Yeah, like the world has had her for seven seasons. Yeah. Now, here's my question. Does, Goldust had a good advice from anybody? How is someone telling her to sell wheat? That is a saturated market. By the way, I wish you well, love wheat.
Starting point is 00:35:38 But she should be selling knives, like those knives that cut through coped cans. She could, I don't know what, I don't know if she should be selling anything to be honest. I really don't, I just have not, I haven't gotten a sense of expertise and authority from her in any specific area. Maybe knives, maybe violence. Like she needs to have one of those late night infomercials where she's like,
Starting point is 00:35:59 this knife cuts through a Coke can, this one cuts through a cat's skull. You know, this one cuts through, I don't know, simple. Yeah. Yeah. So this one is soft, like for babies. Yeah. So then they look at the photos, and he was like, wow,
Starting point is 00:36:14 look how hot you look. You look so hot right here. Look, this is, you're so hot. And she's like, oh my god. OK, here's a lesson that people really need to know. When you're doing a photo shoot with a straight guy Never trust their instincts. Okay, I learned this the hard way. Okay, I learned it the hard way Go with a woman or a gay man. I'm telling you right now. They straight guys unless there are certain type of straight guy
Starting point is 00:36:38 But I feel like 95% straight guys Don't trust don't trust Yeah, she's gonna like her face is gonna look all walked and like one of her eyes is gonna be closed and bloodshot but her boobs will look like her boobs are gonna look like amazing. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying right now like it's it's a problem. It's a problem. So, Presta goes to his ginger therapist, John. He was not in the chevron patterns, which I was shocked because he did have
Starting point is 00:37:10 to kind of a Charlie Brownish type look to his sweater. Like, there was something about him. And I was like, this is the perfect opportunity missed by not putting him in Charlie Brown chevrons. Yeah, that would have been good. Yeah. So, Resa goes in and he wants to talk about his dad. And he's like, well, you know, MJ's father died,
Starting point is 00:37:30 and my dad is, you know, he's getting older. And like, I want to be okay when he does. I want to be, I want to feel okay. It's like okay, so. He's going to make it about him. Yeah, look. And then we had a flashback of that scene with Resa and his dad at Passover.
Starting point is 00:37:44 And it said six years ago I cannot believe that scene was six years ago. I thought that was like three years ago. It has time really gone by that fast Girl, I don't know. I mean, I look younger so wow That's that's what we were recapping this all the way back then so yeah, Resa's like listen. I hate my father I can't stand his guts, but how will I feel when he's dead? I hate my father. I can't stand his guts. But how will I feel when he's dead? Yeah, that's so Persian to have dementia like why people would be like I'm just gonna die but persons be like what you say? I have dementia Well, that was mean to you forgot about it. They're just like I'm pretty sure it's not a cultural thing. No bitch be like I forget what my name is dementia
Starting point is 00:38:30 A bitch lost 40 thoughts So then he's like well you don't want to be like your dad to you so and he's like no I spent every day trying not to be like my dad and he's like well if you keep trying not to be like your dad Then you're gonna keep worrying about it, and then you're gonna become your dad So you you should probably not let that motivate you dad, then you're gonna keep worrying about it, and then you're gonna become your dad. So you should probably not let that motivate you, and be motivated by something positive. French fries? No, like something, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:53 really truly, something that lifts your spirit. Intact and roots? Yeah. I wanna need you to take a little deeper there. Just a little bit deeper there. Take a tick rims on tires. Yeah. A very stand up at DMCRAW about the ratio of differences with drivers, especially Asian
Starting point is 00:39:16 ones. Crab hop. So then I just want to point out by the way that an ice cream cart is going by outside my window because I can hear the twinkling and I feel like that is so cruel. We have to be in here talking about Resa while ice cream floats by outside. That is not right. That is not right. It's also creepy. It's fucking Hollywood. Don't let your kids go out there to get ice cream. It's probably some rapist trying to kidnap them, okay?
Starting point is 00:39:43 No. I didn't even know we still had ice cream trucks in Hollywood. Well, yeah, it's a little good a humor guy with a car He's going by I want to get one of those frog or those I don't know if they still even make them But I said love we've talked about this before on the podcast those frog popsicles Or it was like green ice cream with like a chocolate back and M&M eyes Those are dead dead dead. Okay, that's what I want to remember It's like guys probably stolen Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. And now I don't let Adam get them. What has happened to me? I've recently seen that you would always find yourself a new politician! You only let me get the Buffalo Bird Popsicle. I never wanted the Buffalo Bird Popsicle! Well, the good thing about this scene for me is that Rese cried, and that's my favorite thing. I love the rest. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! it. Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
Starting point is 00:40:47 I don't like that you didn't bother me and you didn't treat me. You brought me a business of business called Fish Daddy! Daddy! Daddy, why did you never teach me to warn my significant mother not to take animals out of the box, Daddy? Ha! significant mother not to take emeralds out of the box daddy So Destiny is getting food ready because her mom's coming over so God forbid your mom can observe her and brings a slice Destiny sets up very mom-friendly food Doritos and guacamole and by the way, do we Doritos don't go with guacamole? You would think they do because they but like I mean I've never done it I always feel like Doritos don't go with guacamole. You would think they do, but like, I mean, I've never done it. I always feel like Doritos are standalone.
Starting point is 00:41:27 I don't actually ever dip Doritos, because they already have so much flavor. Gosh! Well, as long as you serve it in a gold platter, then everything's okay, apparently. Yeah, so Destiny's mom Tammy shows up. And I like to think of her as like a Persian Rosie Perez, you know? And she comes in and she's like, what you said?
Starting point is 00:41:45 What's going on? Why you said what you said? What's going on? I mean she doesn't sound like Rosie Perez. She just looks like Rosie Perez because if she was she sounded like Rosie Perez I feel like like oh Why you so sad every time you cry me to cry She's like why every time I see you, you start crying. Yeah. And that's like because I need to kill the ancestral trauma. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:11 And I don't want to hurt you because when I hurt you, you close off, mother, you close off. I don't know if anybody else was thinking this from an intergenerational family. But in my family, when I would throw fits like this is a kid which I did all the time Like I was very sensitive guys. I'm sure everyone's trying I was crying all the time and my jiddy my grandfather used to tell me This is an American thing. I was like what feelings Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess we could not feel this because we were struggling to live
Starting point is 00:42:44 Yeah, yeah, it's like yes, we could not feel this because we were struggling to live Well now now no my my parents are from America So but like if I if I bring up something like an emotional thing like this to my dad Who'd be like you've been living in California too long? I'm like that and I'll be like dad There's nothing to do with California. Okay He's like, oh, okay, do we need a trigger warning, Ben? I'm like, dad, don't put it on me. Oh, you're bad, that's my people right there. You know, like that's like what the older generation is like, they're like, we don't have time for emotional bullshit.
Starting point is 00:43:14 And that's what Tammy is like, she's hilarious, because she seems so sweet at first, but then as, as Destiny's like, crying and going on, the Tammy is like, listen, my dad died when I was three months old. We ate dirt for seven years. I had an aunt call up my nose and never come back. This is life. This is what happens in life. And she says, this is Sarnasyeeshd or whatever. And on the bottom it says, Sarnaveshd equals destiny. And I was like, well, now I know that she knows how to spell it right. I mean, I think a lot of this also just goes back to the ancient art of numerology. You know, destiny is one thing. Destiny with an EY is a different thing. You know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:54 But yeah, and I agree with the mom. And I, you know, obviously, I think we are American. And that is one of our rights to have feelings. I mean, that's how we evolve, guys. Yeah. But I also see the mom's point. It's like, bitch, you think I wanted your dad to leave? Like, you left. I took care of you alone. Of course, I was closed off. What am I going to cry with the bottle of vodka every day in bed? You know, we could do that in my household because we're Americans. But see, they now have that luxury. Yeah. So, um, but, and by the way, Resa comes over to, we should mention, um, and we learned that Resa's mom and Destiny's mom were friends. So, and by the way, Reza comes over too, we should mention. And we learned that Reza's mom and Destiny's mom were friends.
Starting point is 00:44:27 So I guess that's the connection, like one of the connections of how Destiny is connected to this group, which I guess, I feel like I never remember that from last year when she first- Well, it sounds like the parents were just connected, not the kids, which, you know, like, you know, we have like Syrian women's late,
Starting point is 00:44:41 Syrian ladies club or whatever. So we don't know each other, but all our grandmas, you. But but yeah so Reza comes in and he's been to therapy for one day so of course well he's gone to therapy a lot but he's listened to one therapy session he's like here's what you need to do talk to me like on your father yeah yeah she's like because she's sitting there just like crying and he's like every time she talks about her dad She said crying just look at her and Tammy's like Like my weak daughter And I couldn't tell who Reza was yelling at because he was coming to yelling get destiny, right and destiny's crying and he's like Listen you have shit that you haven't dealt with.
Starting point is 00:45:26 And you know, you're gonna see, you don't want to get married and then you are gonna get married and then you're gonna marry somebody to lead you and all of your kids just like happened to your mother because that is what happens. Well, meanwhile, like pump down and Destiny's crying into the Doritos. I'd say Destiny's like fully orange
Starting point is 00:45:43 because of all the Doritos spew that Rhesa's been like, all the dust coming off of Rhesa's mouth from the Doritos. I bet say does need like fully orange because of all the Doritos View that Razz has been like all the dust coming off of Razz's mouth from the Doritos and Tammy's like Okay, so if they find your father what you do next you see the front of him and cry is that what you do? So she's like, uh, yeah, what are you? What are you gonna do if you find them? What are you gonna say cry and then she's like, uh, yeah, what are you? What are you going to do if you find them? What are you going to say? Cry and then he's like, she has raised her. Like, okay, so we'll decide who you want here. And then the mom tells her to leave soon. You're that he's not bad man, but he have problem.
Starting point is 00:46:16 You don't know. We don't know too. Now, the mom is hinting stuff about this dad. And as the episode goes along, I start changing my mind about this story of mine, and it becomes the most exciting thing to ever have it for me. It's her who does. I'm actually totally with you on that.
Starting point is 00:46:31 But I love also how Destiny's reality is so warped, because here Tammy issues like rolling her eyes, like stupid daughter, just get the real job instead, like triumph the insult coming dog all of a sudden. And so it's just rolling your eyes like, oh, and then Destiny like looks at her mom and it's like, you know what, my mom just gave me a look like, come on, let's do this. I'm like, what, no, I got your back girl.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Tim is like, oh, stupid daughter. Yeah. We're gonna back up from Destiny. Yeah. DAUTER! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, places in LA. It's shocking how they just find, I mean Lucky Strike was like a thing like 15 years ago, you know. So, oh my god, Lucky Strike is like so ever. But so Micah, we're gonna go bowling with MJ and Tommy. MJ is just fully like a leopard. She's in a full leopard bodysuit, like she's about to go on safari. She looks like she's like skinwalking and she decided to become Fred Flintstone, but doesn't quite fit into his body So Mike is like extolling the virtues of Morgan. He's like Morgan is the most mature out of all of us Yeah, she's I'm like what just because she could keep her mouth
Starting point is 00:47:59 She's not a keeper mouth. She's just so like stairs vaguely at the wall makes her more mature. And I'm like, yes, actually, I'm answering my own question. Yes, that does make her the master chore of the story. Oh, I scrolled it. So here we go back. So yeah, it's like, we're all children, but look at her. She's so adult and then they show Morgan bowling. It's like, can I have bumpers? And he says, she's like 25 going on 40 and we're like 45 going on 13 I'm like, you know, you should really never say that your girlfriend is 25 going on 40 just so you know like just a pro tip there Not how I'll do it. Oh, and so did you notice that Mike has his own bowling ball? I was going of course
Starting point is 00:48:42 He got a fucking or is he does he has one And then he starts man-splaining bowling to her. He's like, see what you got to do. You have to hold it like this. You have to hold it like that. And then there's like, there's 10 pins. You got it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Count it after me. Do it, Morgan. 1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 12, 14. No. 1, 2, 3, 10. Okay. And now to see this. This is called an alley. Do you know what an alley is? If you were Jews, you might know. I was going to see an alley. Do you know what an alley is? If you were Jews, you might know, alley, alley. Up after sea and after nine is damn. But it's just like so condescending, like explaining like,
Starting point is 00:49:13 this is how you hold it, this is how you'll do it. Like she doesn't give a fuck at you hold it. She's just there to, like, I would say 50% of people who grow bowling are just there for the fun of it, you know? So just relax, sir. Yeah, just relax bowling league. Like Mr. joined a bowling league for one week, couldn't hack it so we quit.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah, and then he like rolls the ball down and he's like, oh, it's a strike. It's a totally a strike. It's a strike and then it's like five pins are left up. It's like, okay, maybe not, maybe not. It's always the fucking assholes that you go to lucky strike with that are like, I've got my own ball, the suck at bowling.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Exactly. They trick you and you're like, I want them on my team. They're good. And then they fucking suck. Those pins are like the most mature pins here. They just stand up. They see their brothers fall and they just stand and they're strong.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Well, at least MJ is there to balance out Mike. Because she's like, Mike, you suck, your brothers are both doctors and you're not. Yeah, her heckling gets real harsh. They're not like, like, seriously. Oh, that's personal. Yeah, her heckling gets real harsh So I've seen less makeup on a Linda Dano impersonator. Oh, whoa, oh, babe. Well So then MJ she smells blood in the water. She senses that there's some way she can stir a pot Because from what we learned in Naurruz is that Mike is not bringing Morgan, not bringing Morgan to Nowruz with his mom. So MJ is like, so Morgan, you know, what's your feeling about Mike's mom? You know, how is that? That like Mike won't introduce to his family, huh? That's crazy,
Starting point is 00:50:39 right? Right, right? And Morgan's like,'s like, okay, you can stop vacuuming the bowling seats with your mouth. Okay? She's like, though, I guess they're just not ready for it, because they're just not ready. And then he's not ready. So people sometimes just aren't ready. She's like, you're really not gonna do well on this cast. If you don't lose your fucking minds.
Starting point is 00:51:08 She's like, I find security and where it's at. I can trust him. Pizza, $3.50 per slice, fries, $4 or large, $6. Like Morgan stopped reading the menu over MJ's head. Oh, sorry. I find security where I can trust him. He did learn a lot from what he went through and furthermore, I feel like an almost into your mic. Oh, hello, hello. You cracked my ball. You cracked my ball. Yeah, remember today when you dropped my ball,
Starting point is 00:51:37 you cracked it. You cracked it. And she's like, um, fuck you. And if you never bolded before, because the whole sport is about dropping your ball exactly that's how I was like I think the bully ball like was it like did you drop it into the grand cannon also I would love to know what was happening in the house when Morgan decided to pick up a bowling ball and then drop it on the floor like can we can we like just think about that like what was she doing she's look, a vase. Where's the hole to put the flowers in? Rotate, rotate, rotate. Oops, vase goes crashy.
Starting point is 00:52:11 She's like the house foam's ringing. Ow! Mike, oh. Mike, do you wanna pet the cat? Ow, I dropped the cat. Mike, your mom's here. Mike, I made here. Mike I need dinner. Oh.
Starting point is 00:52:27 And then MJ is like, what the hell are you, Brezza? Is that Adam? Is it an emerald Jesus? She goes, I'm glad my boyfriend doesn't attire it. That's my takeaway from today. Like, is he not? Because then you've got Tommy behind. They're like, I don't know who wins in the situation. I really don't.
Starting point is 00:52:48 And then Tommy, so Tommy and MJ win and MJ is like, we won, glass of wine in one hand and chicken wing and the other. I was like, I want that chicken wing. I'm having it. She's like, okay, you want to hear it is. By the way, I dropped it on the floor. Delicious. Inspired by Morgan. She's like, okay, you want to hear it is. By the way, I dropped it on the floor. Oh, delicious. Inspired by Morgan. She's like, I dropped it,
Starting point is 00:53:09 chicken wing on the floor today, earlier too. That was my bowl, Doc girl. My bowl, my ball. Bowl ball. How can you fit that entire chicken wing into your mouth? Here, let me try out my teeth. Oh, my bowl. Why do you guys keep throwing chicken wings at the soda cans at the end of the floor?
Starting point is 00:53:33 She just broke me by all of this so Now we go to Gigi's condo and the highlight of the episode for me was Gigi playing with her cat and that cat just like gone like highlight of the episode for me, it was Gigi playing with her cat and that cat just like gone like left right left right left. I had a dream about my cat like two nights ago, my dearly departed cat from growing up. It's crazy, like that poor cat died 20 years ago and I also have a dream where I was holding her. Oh, it was so sad. Well, I feel safe knowing that you have a cat. I do not feel safe that Gigi has a cat. Like a cat, I should say feel safe that Gigi has a cat. Like a cat, I should say.
Starting point is 00:54:07 And I think actually, they'll always have that cat. I still have Gozina in my house. I have Gozina. She walks around and guilt me all the time. My cat was like a mix. And actually people, to bring it all back together, people suspected that my cat was part, Persian.
Starting point is 00:54:23 I had the rest of the cat. It had like really long fall silashesci lashes and like it was always like putting stuff on the table for you to represent what it wanted. And she was starting her own cannabis business, which I thought was really surprising. Very industrious of my cat. So Gigi's parents come over. I don't know if you noticed this. Gigi has three enormous candy bowls on her counter. Like the size that belonged in like a candy shop, not in like a little condo. Yeah, they're not bowls. They're those gigantic jars.
Starting point is 00:54:53 They're like huge jars that you literally sell candy out of. It's not like Eugene. They were bigger than Eugene's candy bowl in Merit medicine. And that says something. She probably went to that candy place in the grove and just stabbed somebody in the head and took part of the display. She said, do it. She said, do it. Do it. She's like, this is Gigi's candy bar now.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Sorry, Ralph Lauren. It's my business. Yeah. Yeah, people, okay. So I forgot what I was going to say. I had something so just mental and horrible to say. And I was like, oh, just forgot it. Move out of the church.
Starting point is 00:55:27 We just got the bell to call. The giant. I forgot. Deadly forgot. It's for the mom. The mom is in one of those places that victims get into where they're like, there's a calm, you know, after the storm
Starting point is 00:55:40 and before the next storm, where the victim gets in this place or it's like, it's gonna work this time Everything's gonna be okay this time The mom's like a daughter of mine having on business. I just can't believe My daughter the business woman she basically is doing the dialogue before she breaks out into song in the musical right like My little gg Always working hard
Starting point is 00:56:05 Now she found a business for heart Oh, and then in the end everybody's dead, you know like it this is like smoking ruins around Yeah, so she yeah, so she's like my daughter the, and Gigi's like, do I have to get a bank account? What's a bank account? How do I do that? Can I get an Amics card? How do I do this?
Starting point is 00:56:32 Yeah, come have a black Amics card. Maybe a little premature to call her a business woman, especially because the extent of her business is her saying, I want to have a business. You know? She's like, I I want to have a business, you know. Yeah. She's like, I'm going to have a big business. I'm going to, I'm going to prove it by getting the biggest car I possibly can that my battle pay for. And then asking for a black AMX car to match my giant black car.
Starting point is 00:56:56 It's like, okay, you're going to do great. So and then she's like, you know, I mean, growing up as a kid, I was, I was bad kid. I, you know, I got kicked out of 10 schools, got arrested around 15, but like, you know, I've bad kid. I you know, I got kicked out of 10 schools got arrested around 15 But like you know, I've changed now. I'm like how have you changed? You like we you're not in school anymore, but if you have been in school you would have been expelled 30 more times, okay? Like you're a disaster. It's actually shocking. She hasn't been arrested since this show began
Starting point is 00:57:19 Yeah, now you're an adult you just get expelled from adult things like parties, you know Yeah, so you get like you basically were just get expelled from adult things like parties, you know? Yeah. So you get like you basically were expelled like, like basically that rose thing that happened with Resa. That was basically like an expulsion. That was social expulsion. I was speaking of something that needs to get socially expelled. Whatever hers is living in Little Armenia, selling these silver jackets to Resa.
Starting point is 00:57:42 I don't know where Resa, like like did he get a box deal on shiny jackets Because like out it's called Mike's new business clearly Let's live a jacket set Civil jackets gold shoes. That's what it is. It's perfect. So So Gigi's parents are like well you should get like a CEO or something to run this company since you obviously can't do it. And she's like, how do I do that?
Starting point is 00:58:08 And they're like, well, you have to go to find a headhunter. She's like, okay, Google, how do I find a headhunter? And so this poor Google Assistant really overestimates her capabilities. It's like, well, go to like, WSJ.com, akaWallstreetjournal.com and look under this tab. There is no way Gigi is goingcom aka Wall Street Journal.com and look under this tab, there's no way Gigi is going near the Wall Street Journal. She's going to turn into a pillar of ash if she ever lays eyes on a Wall Street Journal. God, there's a paywall too. She's going to have a real tough time getting through that. And so ultimately, she's so violent. You know how Google kind of learns your preferences and stuff.
Starting point is 00:58:45 She's lucky that that's all it said for headhunters, because it could have been way worse with her search history. It really could have been. And so Gigi's like, I really want to make this business work. I'm going to be a business woman. And they cut to her on a notepad writing head hunter company in huge letters that take up the entire page. It's like, yep, As seen on Shark Tank.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Professional. We'll be we'll be alerting HBS that she's ready to enroll. Okay. So then resin is tiny jacket. So everybody's gathering for a pre-party for MJ because they're all going to be going to Vegas. They go to Hollywood Hookah. Well, you know I have feelings about Hookah. You know, I hate Hookah. I hate it. Yeah, I do too.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I'm not a big Hookah fan. Yeah. So they go to this place, Hollywood Hookah, which is right nearby. It's on Hollywood Boulevard. So this place, obviously, they were alerted that Shada Sunset was coming through. They're like, oh my God, Bravo's coming in.
Starting point is 00:59:42 So they put up some sort of like step and repeat mylar Hollywood hookah shit all over the walls of this cavernous cavernous space so it looked like a high school gym in there it was like a big space these random couches and purple light and then all these like wrinkled step and repeat patterns on the walls the place looks so so shitty and so cheesy and it was just like the worst thing I've ever seen on TV I felt like just this entire thing. I was like this is this is a nightmare I felt so bad for those waitresses who had to get bottle service for these guys and then res is like sitting on the couch me like the turn up is real, real turn up Vegas, Vegas,
Starting point is 01:00:23 Vegas baby I'm like oh this is like everyone's nightmare of what they'll encounter at a club Yes, this every time I go to Vegas nice to go a ton with my family and every night before I would go I would have these nightmares of being stuck with this cast on the Southwest, you know Oh, it's just like Oh, it's just like in there. Baby, baby. Doose. Oh, so there at the thing he gives a big cheers thing. And then MJ pulls Morgan aside, give some James been pretending, well,
Starting point is 01:00:52 except for one episode where she was awful, but she's been pretending to be this nice like, you know, I'm that I'm the wife of the household now class here than everybody. But she just lets it slip. So she gets Morgan. She's like Morgan. I really want you to be at the bachelor at party because your vibe is like super positive.
Starting point is 01:01:11 And also I can ruin your relationship much easier if you can't kick you out of a room. Yeah. Oh, also the shoe hats are going to fight it to the wedding. So you'll meet them there. So get prepared. Messy. Messy, mess.
Starting point is 01:01:22 So messy. MJ just loves that shit. MJ and Resa, this is what they're good for. And Resa has not been stirring the pot this year that much. So maybe he'll be, he'll be, I blame Adam. I feel like Adam is distracting him and Resa is going to get back to the business of destroying his friends' lives very soon. Resa is doing too much bad shit right now that he can get called out for.
Starting point is 01:01:42 But now that he's come clean with Adam, he can do whatever he wants. So, yeah, hopes up. Also, I feel terrible for Gigi because this hookah lighting, like this purple shadowy lighting in there, not good for her work, not good, like for like the injections, whatever. Like, it was some fun house mirror
Starting point is 01:02:00 should happening without lighting. Like in regular lighting, it's like more or less fine, you know, considering. Yeah, but this is like black lighting. It's like more or less fine, you know considering Yeah, but this is like black lighting It's like it's like if Gigi was being inspected by the CSI gang. Yeah Like Neema this this is not what's going to sell billions of products right here. Yeah, it's just like group on surgery tags all over her body so Servin's friend comes and he starts hitting on
Starting point is 01:02:25 Goldnessa and he's just dude from Paris. He's like this twink from Paris and they're like, bro, aren't you nervous? Neymar, aren't you gel? And Neymar's like, oh, gosh, no, I want to see this play out. I'm like Steve Irwin of Persia. Okay. We're watching a line that's about to be on a friend's deer. I want to see the carnage Like you know what happened to Steve Irwin right Neema I miss it Doesn't end well for you poor guy. I'm so sad when that happened. I know So he's like you poor dude. She's just using you to get a reaction out of me
Starting point is 01:03:02 But you over yourself you won't get a reaction, because I'm already making out with my sister. I know, seriously, that name. Like, truly, no one cares about flirtations between Nima and Gigi. They have, like, as much chemistry as an old jar of kimchi and a paperclip. Kim J. Kim J. What's that? No food network star reference.
Starting point is 01:03:30 So yeah, she got what she wanted already, babe, and it's not a reaction. It's a free advertising campaign. Thanks. You're done. I. So now we go over to this little coffee shop called Bricks and Scones where Destiny and Resa sit down, and they're just talking about,
Starting point is 01:03:48 because they're gonna meet up with their, the PI, and Resa's like, Destiny, you have to know. This is step you have to know, because you say one word, you say dad, and you start to cry, like watch, dad, ooh! Ooh!
Starting point is 01:03:59 Dammit, you're so messy! Look at you, look at your shoulders, look at your face, Look at your hair! And then out of nowhere, like truly out of nowhere, Monique is just standing above them. I'm like, wow, she is good. She's like, hello, I'm Monique. She's like, I have three minutes through Cabot Goals. On my tiny wooden bike. I feel like she's like one part ViwI. Warshowski, one part Jessica Rabbit, which I guess is actually too caffeine. She's just a caffeine turner with like a little bit of
Starting point is 01:04:30 Karen Allen. So she's like, what is this you want for me? What do you know about your father? And she's like, well, she tells you know the whole story blah blah blah. And then she's like, well, my dad was in town like 10 years ago and I went through a suitcase and we're just like, yeah, tell her you went through a suitcase. Wait, you went through a suitcase? So she's like, well I can tell you this, you had a lot of different IDs. There was one from Russia, one from Egypt, one from, you know, China, one from Russia, went from Egypt, went from China, went from Russia, and starts listing all these places.
Starting point is 01:05:07 And the investigators like, Russia, why Russia? That's why it's you, I don't know. Oh my God, please tell me that Destiny's Father is not involved in the Russia investigation, because that would be too much for me. I can't have a shot as a sunset angle. In Russia. In Russia. Destiny's Father is every Russian troll right now on Twitter. He is He's like I love What whatever so is that gave you a vote for Hillary you are not my daughter. Oh my god. It's totally from the election
Starting point is 01:05:43 So uh, so she's so resets like so what work does he do and she's like I don't know babe I don't know I don't know that's what I came I don't know and you know Monique's like oh god did he see what they have to deal with right now god stupid girl and then rest is like you're a mess you don't know anything like he's not yelling at her but destiny also as her father knows seven languages yeah he's basically a spy also um every time they cut to res uh he's eating out of a different vessel like it's first like a big old salad that's like a little small soup thing and then it's like I don't know like this represents the suitcase this chicken kebab This chicken kebab is represent every language. So then Monique is like, so how long will your parents marry?
Starting point is 01:06:33 And she's like, I don't even know. Like, oh, come on, Destiny. At least do some like basic research before Monique appears, okay? If you know this little, you should just be able to make up who your dad is at this point, you know, make him up Just make him someone really cool. It's like my dad was Marlon Brando You know? Yeah, you should just a fuck with the PI like well, I don't know much about my dad He wasn't actor. He gained a lot of weight. He was very eccentric. He played some iconic roles involving tree cars in the mafia. Oh my god. My dad was a boxer. He used to stare up at these big long flight
Starting point is 01:07:16 of stairs every day, wondering if he could do it. He had this old man who just always inspired him. Just like, oh my god. Rocky. My dad was a, he was a butler, but then turned to, he also was like a trans alien. Oh my god, Tim Curry is your father. Oh my god. I don't know why Tim Curry is where I went. So now we go to Mike's new house. That's Passover and Mike has already come planning. He's like, hey Morgan, we need to Mike's new house. Let's pass over. And Mike has already come planning. He's like, hey Morgan, we need to get the company that we rented these napkins from.
Starting point is 01:07:50 That this shit dirty is like unacceptable. It's totally unacceptable. Mike will Mike maybe should have swiped their truck before pass over and you have gone some clean linens for your table. Also this girl doesn't work for you, fucker without a job. Why don't you do something? Yeah, have a pass. Yeah, exactly. Why don't you do something? Yeah, have casts. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Why don't you complain? How about this? Why don't you just run through the washer? How about this? Get your own lens. No, actually, don't have to. So they're setting up and then Adam arrives with flowers. He's like, I got the flowers.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Which I don't know. I've got flowers and that bass one I could find from Israel. Like, how am I supposed to I like, I'm so proud of Adam for being able to come to my house for Passover. Wow. First time. I've passed. Passover is not a high holiday. I mean, it's an important one. It's not a high holiday.
Starting point is 01:08:34 So stop that. Um, so, uh, but also did you see how Michael is treating him like he's like, like Morgan? He's like, where have you been? My friends, you're late. You're late. You're late. And that's why his coach, right? Oh, where have you been, my friend? You're late. You're late. You're late. That's why his coach are right. Oh, oh, oh, you're doing right? You're doing right, or?
Starting point is 01:08:49 Is this an Emerald situation? Yeah, don't touch the bowling ball, okay? When you see a bowling ball on a bag, that means it's in there for a reason, okay? Yeah. He goes, Morgan's not Jewish, but thank God for Google. Is Google sponsoring this episode, by the way, because here we go at that.
Starting point is 01:09:04 He's like, she's not Jewish, but thank God for Google if she doesn't know something she'll research it She's a very impressive woman. I'm like fuck you Mike But like like most women just if they don't know something they just don't that that's it Like he like that's like the the fact that she does like the bare minimum in life that she like actually looks something up on Google Like the rest of the entire world does anytime they're curious about something that makes her impressive. I mean come on. I'm a lucky guy. I have a woman intelligent enough to search the internet for things. Well as my boyfriend said well she's not impressive enough to match her camouflage because she had two different types of camouflage on. So you did. Well you never know when you're gonna be going from Afghanistan to Iraq very different to rank. She's like, I'm wearing this outfit in case my legs need to hide in the snow,
Starting point is 01:09:49 but my top needs to hide in the bushes. She's like a two different terrains at once. She's like, you never know when you're gonna hit a desert forest. You never know when it's gonna be nighttime daytime. Yeah. So Mike's like, oh, when Russ gets here, tell him to wet down the counters because he didn't do anything. Like how about your hosting a party son of a cock, son of a gun?
Starting point is 01:10:18 Son of a cock. How about he takes the dog off the counter? How about that? Yeah, take the dog off the counter. What are you up? Gorgah? Yeah, or a Gorgah gun even, because that's what you're acting like. A freaking democcurian. So the rest it does come and he's like, do you guys need help?
Starting point is 01:10:36 It's one of those who just kind of ask it, because you have to, but he walks towards the wire. Yeah, I would never do that. Yeah, me neither. Totally monstrous. Not my, I'm so do that. Yeah, me neither. Totally. Not not. I would I'm so helpful when I come to parties. I'm like, you guys want me to move a napkin somewhere? Okay, great. Anyway, I'll be over here if you need me. Yeah, I'm going to help you guys. I'm going to put this little tiny meatball into my mouth. Okay. I'm going to help you clean up this food. Yeah. So
Starting point is 01:10:59 then people start to show up and working goes, Mike Theth, could you wipe down the counters and he's like, stop talking to me, Swiffer. Mike that Elisol cans talking to me, how strange is it, Mike? Mike, the clay plug and want you. Hey Mike, there's a spatula that has been asking about something about a bowling ball. So then it's time everybody arrives and Mike is really impressed to have a prince at his house. The prince for us. Yeah, he's a prince in Abu Dhabi.
Starting point is 01:11:37 He's 137th in line with the throne. And Mike's like, well, you know, he's technically a prince. So that's what's important. Yeah So then the Sator begins Now this was you know, I'm I am my Jewish roots are that I'm Ashkenazi, which is whoa, I think feel like The Jewish culture that I feel like most people know in America is probably Ashkenazi That's like the Eastern European European Jewish thing Ashkenaz, that's like the Eastern European, European, Jewish thing, but Mike is Sephardic, which is like Jews who like went to like basically Persia. More or less I'm speaking in giant vagaries, but so one of the hallowed songs of the
Starting point is 01:12:14 Seder, which I've actually mentioned a few times on the show, is Dainu, which is like this fun song, Rio d'I-A-N-U, D'I-D-I-A-N-U, and they were doing like the worst D'I-N-U, they're going D'I-N-U, D'I-N-U, D'I-N-U, D they were doing like the worst Dianu they're going Dianu Dianu Dianu Dianu Dianu and then they were hitting each other with scallions now what's weird I mean like we don't like in my satyrs we don't hit each other with scallions that may be a Sephardic thing but like at least sing Dianu properly I'm sorry like can you do more than just Dianu Dianu Dianu Dianu can you do like the Dianu song because that's how it's supposed to be done I'm sorry well they're very Vicky gumbelsen religious.
Starting point is 01:12:46 It's like religious when you need it for TV. You know? No, I think Mike is fully like Jewish. They do like Sabbath, like every, he does like Shabbat every Friday, which is like very like that I don't do that at all. I'm not, I'm not very Shabbat-y. But he's, I think that they're there's they're super Jewish Super Jewish super Jewish
Starting point is 01:13:08 So the Renoir religion of religious Exactly super religious says aggressive like every time we give each other a training booklet and When you go through it you read the importance of each item and you reach tell the story of the Exodus And there's a lot of waiting before you eat and by the Andrew saying Where'd be my food bitches get out of the Exodus and get me my hot chocolate, bitch So Reza's now trying to get Tommy to go to Vegas because everyone's going to Vegas and time's like no I'm not gonna go that's him. J's weekend I'm gonna go normally do I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna stay at home the entire time
Starting point is 01:13:45 and watch videos of the 1996 match and jerk off into my own face. Hi. Is that so wrong? So Resa follows Morgan into the kitchen and MJ comes to back him up, you know, as they do. And she's like, hi Morgan. So, uh, what do we,
Starting point is 01:14:05 wink once if you're coming to Vegas, wink twice if you just get your car to a safe house. Could you please expel some fresh linen smell if you're coming to Vegas and garden fresh smell if you're staying up? Hey Morgan, what's this giant crack on the floor? Oh, that's where I dropped Mike Spongebob. He's mean bowling ball, whatever. He got a love reza who's done nothing comes into the kitchen to Morgan. He's done everything and he goes, let's say we do a buffet and let people serve themselves. Okay, how about you've done nothing? Why don't you stop bossing this woman around when she's done this entire night for all of you fucking, fucking, fucking assholes?
Starting point is 01:14:47 And she put out a good spread. That was like, I was impressed and I was like, okay Morgan, there's more than, there's something behind that mask and by that mask I mean, you know, the eyebrows and the makeup on the face. Yeah, you really know how to wash a leaf of romaine. I'll give you that.
Starting point is 01:15:07 So, so Resa does nothing and then comes in to take all the credit at the end. Like, I totally organized it. I said, so they're like, so will Morgan be going to Vegas Mike? Am I like, I mean, like, just so you know, like if Morgan comes like I'm
Starting point is 01:15:26 in me a lot more tame you won't get crazy Mike and so like I'm like is that supposed to be like a promise or that I think that seems like a good thing so yeah it's like everybody gets to keep their cocaine for one goddamn minute so Michael's over to Morgan and he's like, um, so like, like, like, um, do you want to come to Vegas? I mean, I know you hate Vegas and it's gonna be like super lame and like you're not gonna want to be there at all and it's gonna be like the worst time ever. Like, what's the thing you hate again?
Starting point is 01:15:54 Spin-ish! Yeah, it's gonna be like spinach all day long. So like, do you want to come to Vegas? She's like, Oh, I'm so married, I will meet your mother in Vegas. I mean, I like, I know you hate Vegas. Like, how about you come the second night or like for like an hour like five minutes or how about you just like face time for me look how about that that work?
Starting point is 01:16:12 She's like wow the second night that is so romantic. I'll be there. We'll work this out. Oh, and then he says thank you for the meal, which was nice because I didn't see that one coming and she goes Every year it'll get better and better and the music goes He says thank you for the meal, which was nice because I didn't see that one coming and she goes every year It'll get better and better and the music goes Yeah You know Morgan's very impressive like we ate we ate dinner outside and like she actually googled weather and I was like wow I didn't know a woman could do that, but she did it And he actually tells her you're the best assistant ever.
Starting point is 01:16:45 You know, gross, fuck you, Mike. You're a disgusting human being. And Morgan has some self-respect. Get the fuck out of this. You don't need to be dating some old fucker wearing a full face of makeup just because he's on TV. There are better shows to fuck on too, okay? Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:17:00 Move along. So that was that. So why don't we transition into crap and smell bag? We're being. Well, I'm not done. Don't don't don't. I'm not playing the music today. I like your bell. I like your bell. I love your ding-dong. Wow, what about?
Starting point is 01:17:17 I'm not playing the music today because my computer's been having issues and I just feel like I need your excuses. I feel like the music I'm going to exasperate and everything's going to crash. So we're just going to a music list crap and smell bag. Ronnie, tell anyone what the crap and smell bag is. It's a mail bag full of crap. It's you guys write in. It's on Patreon. You go over there and you say, hey, Ronnie and Ben,
Starting point is 01:17:36 Ronnie, what do you do to keep your skin looking so young? And then I say things like Eminem's fish oil and exfoliation. Right. All stuff like that. All three things that are found in GG's candy bowls. So today's question comes from, well, we normally do more than just one if we can, but we only have one left.
Starting point is 01:17:57 So this is from Michael Horn, who says, head batches. So I feel like OC has been on for so long at this point that I can really be divided into eras. I totally agree. Seasons 1-3 the early years. Seasons 4-8 the Gretchen Alexis years. Seasons 9-12 largely defined by the Brooks Cancer saga. And I think this season would be the start of a new era.
Starting point is 01:18:20 What is Y'all's favorite era or season of OC? And why? I think that's a fantastic question. And I actually think about this more often than you would think. But Ronnie, why don't you give us that about the first? I would, the only thing I would disagree with there is I think this new era started last season. Yes.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Well, for sure. Because this is like the decline era. This is like the dark ages before we have the Renaissance. I predict another season of kind of misery and era. It's the Gretchen era. She was, that was like a period of time when we had Gretchen, we had Alexis, we had Lynn Curtin, which there was, the early years of there were really excellent, but then towards the end it kind of started to slow down a little bit in like the Peggy Tannis period, etc. The Lydia, the late Lydia era. And then I actually would not define the seasons nine through twa. Season nine I think was actually part of the previous era. I think I would not define it as the Brooks era.
Starting point is 01:19:35 I actually think it's the Shannon Bedouard era because there was like a little bit, they got, when they got rid of Gretchen, they got rid of Lydia, maybe an Alexis I think also, yeah Alexis. Those three were put, they got rid of Gretchen, they got rid of Gretchen, they got rid of Lydia, maybe, an Alexis, I think, also, yeah, Alexis. Those three were put, they got rid of them. They brought in...
Starting point is 01:19:50 How to pastor where you put out the pastor. They brought in Shannon and, what's her face? You know, what was her name? She's from suit. So she's not busy. Lizzy They brought in those two. I thought maybe there was a third day brought him but maybe just those two and Then the show came back to life and then we had like a great run That was Shannon's first season when she hated Tamara and Heather DeBro Which I loved and then the next season Megan King Edmonds came on and that was amazing And then that was also the cancer thing and then the next season that brought on Kelly
Starting point is 01:20:29 Dodd and it was just like three seasons a row just like firing on all cylinders and then they got rid of Heather. To me that was like a three year thing and now we were in transition like you just said. They the Peggygy year, Peggy, Peggy, what's her face? Peggy. And there have been two Peggies. And now this season, so I think we're just in transition right now. I think that the, I think the Shannon Bedora era
Starting point is 01:20:57 has been my, that's been my favorite. It's just, it was, for those three years, it was so, so good. It really was, it was, it was the most entertaining and also it was so, so good. It really was. It was the most entertaining and also it was the most infuriating. It was really what got the audience. I think it filled the audience with blood less.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Yeah. It went from being a housewife show. We all argue about for fun and pick science and stuff to capture scamming Tamra's fake Christianity. I mean, just the issues that came up during those couple of years, uh, Brianna getting married. Yeah. Uh, the Heather Dubrow era, too, you know, was something.
Starting point is 01:21:36 So maybe Heather Dubrow era era might be actually, may even be more accurate. Cause honestly, I mean, people hate Heather and I get it. Like we have, we've had some seasons where we just despised Heather. We had other seasons where we're like, ugh, Heather, but Heather left the show and has honestly not been great since then. Yeah, but I can never give credit
Starting point is 01:21:57 to horrible people for leaving, you know what I mean? I don't think that she brought enough to the show to keep it terrible, but she did, I guess, start enough fights. It's something that's not about, like, oh, that person was so great. It's just about the cast dynamic. The battle. Like, I think Bravo was dumb.
Starting point is 01:22:14 I think Bravo had a great dynamic and they should not have let Heather go. They should have added on to that group and they thought they had a core and they didn't. And then Peggy and I still think Lydia was better than people give her credit for. Peggy was not. And that was a disaster last season. Yeah, well, I'll agree with you about my favorite era for sure. And sometimes I wonder if it's just because it's the most recent But I don't think so because thinking back on all of that. I mean that really was just a hilarious all the way through even during all the counter stuff I mean yeah, so over episodes
Starting point is 01:22:54 Those were the most fun and I've loved getting into like when we totally disagree on shit like that Yeah, they were I mean There was like every week there was usually a pretty amazing episode. I mean, you have fights about like Heather stealing Shannon's chair or vice versa. I mean, that was so amazing. The Brooks stuff. It was it was like riveting Television. I do think there there have been great seasons of OC like the season where Lynn Curtin got evicted was pretty amazing Gretchen's first season was pretty amazing. There have been some great seasons, but I think the tightest, the sharpest, the most emotion invested we've been has been like that, that Shannon Bedouard, Heather DeBrow
Starting point is 01:23:37 ever. For me, the thing really missing from most of that was Alexis. Alexis was ridiculous and fun, but I don't think there were, the Peggy Tennis season was, was a little slow and the, and the Lidia season was a little slow. The show was in decline during those times. Yeah, well, you know, we'll see what, we'll see what happens. I'm enjoying this season so far. I think having two brand new housewives and it art getting this good at episode six or seven is pretty promising. far. I think having two brand new housewives and it already getting this good at episode six or seven is pretty promising. Yeah, I think it's, I mean, I think this season is showing
Starting point is 01:24:11 like, okay, the show is coming back to life, but it still hasn't quite reached like that zeitgeist level that like, oh, I'm sure you know, like, yeah, and it's going to take a while because once the audience feels like a show has gotten bad, it's gonna take a while because once the audience feels like a show has gotten bad it's really hard to win them back over like for instance I thought last season of New Jersey was excellent and you know I've been one of the most outspoken critics of New Jersey and I thought last season was so good everyone's like oh New Jersey's awful like it takes a while to win people back you know yeah well Jersey Jersey was not just like close kind of a boring season. I mean, Jersey was just a total train wreck when they fucked that one up.
Starting point is 01:24:53 Total wreck, you can just wreck it. Yeah, and I thought this last season, they were fighting like almost every episode and in hilarious fashion. And people got annoyed with Ziggy, but I feel like people really need to open their hearts again to Jersey and hopefully they'll keep it going in the next season because Jersey has shown signs of life in a really good way and I'm optimistic. I'm optimistic. Oh my God, and this season classic march
Starting point is 01:25:19 is her bitch flower year. So you're the her bitch flower blooms. It is gonna be amazing watching March become a bitch. I cannot wait. Well, we'll do a we'll do on the Jersey the trailer came out yesterday. We'll do we'll do a trailer break down next week for everyone, right? Okay, perfect. Yeah, that sounds good. Sweet. Well, all right, everybody. Well, thanks. Don't forget to get your tickets for New York, the 11th and 12th of October. Those are on sale now. Well, the 12th is sold out, but go get your tickets for the 11th. And then after that, we're going to Seattle in November
Starting point is 01:25:50 and December will be in Nashville. And that will wrap out our 2018. So get your butts over there and get some tickets, y'all. Yeah, guys. Have a wonderful weekend. We'll talk to you on Monday. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens. Add free on Amazon Music. Monday. Bye. Bye.

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