Watch What Crappens - Shahs: Trick or Treat (Paulina Badly)

Episode Date: June 23, 2021

This week on Shahs of Sunset, Mike loses his mind at Destiney's Halloween party, and we're left wondering how much control PAULINA has in their relationship. Also, Reza still hasn't met BABY SHAAAAAMS!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker You can also find me on the game brain podcast and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious I was gonna try to make some sort of Halloween pun about black roses or something can't do it

So just everyone welcome Ronnie Karen. What's going on Ronnie? Well, hi, Ben Thank you for not trying to rhyme everything with crows like this. And he did this week in Chos. Yeah, crows, rows, bows, flows. Yeah, we're talking Chos a sunset today, which was so good. I am loving this season, like really, really loving this season. I was cracking up this entire episode. I also cracked up a lot last week when we did top chef as our bonus episode. That was like a 90 minute bonus episode and we had so much fun with it. And Ronnie's pizza lady came in the middle of it. Carol and she has now become, I think she will now become a cult icon on our podcast. So if you want to know about Carol, definitely sign up for a bonus episode, especially because

this week we're doing our big mayor of Easttown breakdown episode. And I am so excited. I was talking about it, like very animatedly with my friends at a restaurant last night. And we got so into it. And our voices were getting so loud that other tables actually chimed in and they're like, what did you think about that person? What do you think about that? Did you figure it out? And all of a sudden it was like multiple tables talking about Mara Vs town. So I'm excited to sort of like summon all the energy again and lose my mind in our bonus this week.

I love when you watch something so much later than everybody else because it's like it's like getting to relive all that excitement all over again Well, I didn't watch it so much. I was like episode this happened. I watch this actually happened This actually happened with Game of Thrones too. I kept saying Ben Game of Thrones game with and you're like oh Game of Thrones Everybody's talking about Game of Thrones. My mom I'm not Game of Thrones and then you were like, oh my god I've just started watching Game of Thrones. And then you were like, oh my god! I've just started watching Game of Thrones. It's amazing, you guys. It is amazing. Wait, no, with Mara.

East Town, I wanted to watch. I just didn't have time. And I'm only a week behind. I only watched it one week after the finale. So as opposed to Game of Thrones, which I had to catch up on, like, you know, six years after debuted, I feel like my window was really good on this one.

Like as in closer where it aired. Yeah, that's true. And I was current on hacks. I was current on hacks. Did you watch hacks? No, I'm not watching that one because it's like funny, right? I'm not going to be saying anything funny. Okay, I laugh all day. I want to just watch murder, death, depression.

I'm watching handmaids tale And that's a real trip. Oh my god that girl all that girl does is Just stare at the camera. I mean this is the most tortured shit. I've ever seen on TV I mean other than Paulina, but like really really tortured. Um hacks by the way is it's funny But it's you know, it's a cable comedy, which means that about two thirds of it is actually not funny at all. So I think you, here's the thing, I really, really need to get some things

off my chest about Hacks, and also it has Jean Smart. So I feel like you can watch it like in three hours the entire season, so I feel like you should watch it. I'm desperate. I mean, it's really a handmade stale that I'd mention handmade st it. I'm desperate. I mean, look at handmaid stale. Did I mention handmaid stale? Like desperate. At this point, yeah, I do want to laugh at it.

And I love doing smart. Yeah. I mean, you'll laugh at most of it is, see, here's the thing. It's a, save it for the bone. Save it for the bone, because we're gonna make you have an HBO Max. Yeah, that's gonna be a max episode.

Yeah, so our next HBO max bony, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna commit it to next week. I'll just, you just let me know when you're ready to do some hacks. And because I have things to say, I have things to say really about just one character. That's all I care about. Okay. Well, today, so yeah, that's all it. Patreon.com slash watch it crap in bonus episodes videos this week. There is no real housewives of New York, which is just shocking depressing. It's horrible. It's not great. So we're not going to have that up next week, but of this week, but we will do Beverly Hills on video. And I don't know what else will decide later. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. We're going to fly by the sea of our pants. Maybe mayor. Yeah. Maybe mayor.

Yeah, exactly. We're gonna fly by the seat of our pants. Maybe mayor. Yeah, maybe mayor. But for right now, it's Polina Fest 2020, okay? Polina. I told Ronnie before we start recording, or no, me, I tweeted it out. I basically now just walk around my home randomly going, Polina. Polina. That just inanimate objects. Do not say a word until we get home.

I told that to Bueller a lot. Even though you guys are home, you just don't like to cut. You like that's what we're going to play that you're in a new bear going home. Well, for me, like going to the kitchen to the room to watch TV is like travel. Like any walking to me is travel. Like, don't say a word until we get on to that couch. I mean it. I went down to my garage and then I'd forgotten my clicker. So then I went upstairs and I was like, Paulina and I got the clicker.

I was like, Matt, I was like, Paulina, you're supposed to open the garage for me, Paulina. Don't say a word, open the garage. Well, okay, so we start with like wacky Halloween music because it's October 31st and We see Destiny screaming destiny just extra destiny Yeah, it's a big Halloween party and we see Neema and drag we don't understand what is what it is at first But he's just in drag and then Destiny is saying,

Hello, it's Halloween night. The beat of blood is flowing at the bar and my crows are watching everyone from afar. I have something else up my sleeve, Raza, take it away. Who here is the most likely to marry for money? And, um, like, you know, someone says destiny. She's like a kind of wish. Who here? Or someone says, who's the most likely to swindle money in a pond?

Is he, Mike? Mike! And Mike, who is dressed like a SWAT person. Which is funny. So sick is funny. It's funny. It's like, I don't give a fuck. You guys are lame. You guys are trying to bring up something that will fuck up my relationship, Alina.

And she's like, and does it. It's like, you already fucked up your own relationship, son. You can never afford me, son. Get out of my house. Yeah, so then it becomes a big shot of sunset fight. And we're like two two days earlier So now we get to see how resa You know my first thought was like okay now we get to see resa build the scant you know build the trauma that's about to unfold

Although actually I don't feel like we saw him building a lot of the trauma this was we didn't but that was just I mean, I'm sure that he did do it, but didn't get to see it but that was my note. I was like, okay now. Let's see how Reza pulled all of this off Exactly. I was mainly a destiny creation. I was actually very proud of destiny this episode. I feel like Destiny fulfilled her destiny which was um to be you know interesting at last and so I thought actually Destiny was really good this episode I was like the first episode in a very long time. I was like yes, Destiny very good for you. Good job Way to go. Well, it was actually you know I was proud of Reza because you know he's tried to take on

People in the past that he's tried to train, you know He took on Lily Galicchi. She was not great people didn't like her so we dumped her like a potato He's tried, you know, but this is the first time he's taken on the reprintus and really turned her into an awful fucking human being. Into a scheming Shaz monster, which she finally became tonight. It was like her debutante ball, but for like being a horrible person. It was really great. I was I was proud of her.

So we got a little tricksyi Monaco by the way, to open up this part of the show where she's like, I'll ID with Slay, all day, all day, all day. I was like, we knew her in for a good episode if they brought Trixi Monaco onto the shows. I don't think we've heard her on the show. It's been a very long time. So I was not usually on the show, which was weird. No. So MJ and Tommy are talking and MJ is going to a pumpkin patch, and she's going to have her first play date for the Gigi and MJ children. And then we go over to Gigi who's feeding Elijah with an also Roxy. Well, she's not feeding Roxy, but Roxy is there.

And Elijah's maybe pooping and Gigi has another bombshell observation about being a new mother. She's like, I have to pack so many outfits for Elijah, because if he poops, if he gets hot, if he gets cold, then if he poops in that one, it's just like that's a lot. Like, I can't, but I do. I'm like, that's sweet, but also, like, congratulations. You're like, this is not news. This is not news.

Like, this is on baby's foot. GG, okay. I mean, you're basically, it's Bravo Karma. You basically give in birth to a modus singer, right? Yeah, essentially. So, yeah, GG, I like that GG really isn't following into the whole Bravo, but look, I really parent my children. Like, remember when Bronwyn would have like three nannies

and still be like, I am so exhausted from parenting. And Gigi's not even pretending. Like, Roxy is literally always there by her side. Gigi holds her baby maybe five minutes a day. Yeah, and then just gives it to Roxy. So the name on every baby's lips is Roxy. So we then go over to Resa and Adam's house. Good morning.

Good morning. I learned that one. I learned that. Good morning. And he's face rolling. Another face roll around Bravo. So here we go with Bravo. So so far on Bravo

We've got the pumpkin patch big big old famous Bravo thing these days We've got the face rolling quickly becoming famous and we've got a character pooping their pants in public Yeah, so you know you're doing a great job. Shaz. Don't forget murder mystery Murder mystery. Oh, yeah, coming up. Yeah, I'm gonna be coming up soon. We're close into it. We're in costume We're not quite there yet. So yeah, Reza's Gotta be coming up soon. We're close to it. We're in costume. We're not quite there yet. So, uh, yeah, Reza's rolling his face and he's, and I'm like, what are you up to, sweetie? Well, I'm gonna finish a pre-workout drink

and then go for a run. Oh wow, how much weight have you lost so far? I don't know, but my dick sticks out further than my stomach, which is a very good sign. It either means I have a huge dick or I've lost a lot of weight, you decide. Ha ha ha. One time I lost a lot of weight and that happened to me

and I was like, I could not stop looking down. I mean, even all day I would walk down and be like, oh my God, my wiener. There it is. It's an exciting alley. Yeah, there it is. Chubby people, you know, we don't get that often. I was like, It's still there. I mean,

Because like when you're chubby, that weiner will just be like, I'm hibernating. Bye. It's like it disappears into like the Fupa and you never see it again. Yeah, you have to it's like you have to call and make a reservation. Like, okay, You can come out now. No one's here. Good, safe. It's like last night I was looking in my garden except in a way for 10 days and so I was looking and the praying mantis that I haven't seen in a month, I saw it again and I was like, ah, you're here, you're still here, I thought you were long gone.

So it's like that. Right, it's just, no, it's not, okay? Your praying mantis is not like my penis hiding from me. No, but you're just so happy to see it. So Reza is now putting on these chap things over his underwear that are Massaging him or they like my sat things that are like Frater your fat. I don't know what they're doing I think it was a massaging I think these are things that you put on your legs you turn them on and they just like squeeze your legs

It's actually I really I kind of really want one now, but watching residue through it was great. He's like Bulkistrick Look at you, like you're using legs! I'm so screaming! It's been like two of Veracos veins or something. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo my dream was to get a leg massage and to sing it baby shams. All I want in life is to see baby shams and have very relaxed leg muscles. So then we go to the pumpkin patch with teaching MJ and lashing shams and and and and rock singing. Of course, and you and, and rock scene. Yeah, of course, rock scene. And you know, having that scene that a lot of us have been through, I mean, I haven't had a baby, obviously,

but so many of us have been in this scene where you're like, maybe it's four years later or whatever, and you're with a friend, and like last time you saw each other, you were like snorting Coke off the floor, that somebody dropped, And now you're like seeing each other and like the Hollywood Bowl. And you're like, wow, look at you still alive. Yeah. Yeah. So, do we have anything to talk about still?

And yeah, it's like trying to be friends with somebody when you're not wasted and throwing shit around. Yeah, yeah, it's like trying to be friends with somebody when you're not wasted and throwing shit around. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, yeah, so they're like, on a hay ride and they're just trying to restart this friendship and there's a lot of talk from MJ about how before shams, she'd be at brunch or a bar having bottomless mimosas and maybe grabbing bottles away from Golnesa and wrestling her to the ground and then going to another bar. And this of course is all punctuated with flashbacks that highlight all these things happening, right?

But now she's in my... Right. Yeah. And now they're moms. So Gigi's like, well, I can't have the baby in the sun anymore. And also my arm's hurt. Gigi. I mean, Roxie.

Roxie, take this baby. Take it. She's like, yeah, Roxie, that's his best friend. And I was like, wow, there's another Bravo trip. Friend, employees. Yeah. The best friend that you pay for. Aw.

Exactly. Yes, queen, yes. Like Mikey, Mikey, the manny. I made that baby batch. So MJ is saying, what do you think about the party? And Gigi's like, aesthetically, I loved my party. I was like, what do you think about the party and Gigi's like, you know, aesthetically I loved my party. I was like, can this be problematic?

And they did it. I loved it. I just didn't want anything to go down, of course. And then it did. So then she does this whole thing. I just wanted my friends to put their shit aside and come together for Elijah for just two seconds. Like, GG, he was there for one second.

How could they, they don't need to be come together for two seconds. They only need one second of coming together. Once that baby is gone, it's fight time. Yes. And GG, who's just so mature now, like she hasn't ruined so many events in the past, right? Yeah. And this past week, Kelly, Dodd and GG, we're not at on Instagram. Yes, Kelly. How are we not bring this up yet?

Yes, yeah, so Kelly said in some interview like oh no Gigi said yeah, I'm glad Kelly Dodd is fired because she was a bully So then Kelly Dodd said who is she like I don't even know who this girl is like I don't I don't know who this goal person is and Then Gigi came back with an Instagram monologue where she's like oh really you don't know who this goal person is and then Gigi came back with an Instagram monologue where she's like oh really You don't know who I am bitch Don't ever give goal nessa like oh like a reason to grandstand because she will So go nessa goes off like yeah, but saying very calm, you know in that goal nessa So then Kelly is like look I have proof that I know she is. I mean, who is she? I don't even know what she is.

I mean, perhaps it ain't cool. So she's like, oh, so you're racist now because you can't even, you won't even pronounce my name right. And then Kelly, you know, goes back and says, well, I'm Mexican. So it was racist now. And then Kelly posts a t shirt saying, um, a racist, like a dictionary drawing of the word racist and it says definition a liberal who loses an argument. And so I mean they were just going off but my point

even bring me it up is that Golnessa is going off going off but she's staying calm and so everybody's like oh my god look how much Golnessa has grown she's staying so calm. Oh my God, look how much Golnessa has grown. She's staying so calm. Which I say, you can't stab a phone. I don't like how much credit are we giving her? But it was good, it was goals. It's a feud that I didn't know we could ever have and didn't know that we even needed.

And I'm just so happy that we had it. And by the way, let's give some props to you, Ronnie, because you stitched together a very funny montage of clips of Golnessa and Kelly Dodd over the years and you stitched it together like basically as a summary of their fight. And it was very accurate and it looked like it took a lot of work. So everyone should go check out our Instagram. I wasn't bringing it up for that, but man, those two, some mash up, you know, thank you,

Bravo. Just thank you. thank you for that. It was great. Anyway, I'm still talking about this party. They're talking about how basically Resa wasn't able to control himself from ruining the party over Destiny's Ask, because the whole Ask thing last week, that Vita said, so Gigi starts saying how Resa has in him to do this kind of stuff. Who does that?

She doesn't want to just blame Reza for how we reacted because MJ not telling the truth about this baby sham situation as equivalent to lying to him to say bullshit. It's so stupid, but it's also bullshit. Of course Gigi is the true victim because she goes, at the end of the day, I put the animal around my decorations and I did think my friends would turn into animals at my son's party.

I'm like, okay, that was forced. And he was there for 30 seconds. He was there for literally 30 seconds when he was raised up like Simba and then disappeared. They like stop, stop acting like this was literally like the Queen's Jubilee. Yeah, and then we get Gigi the therapist like, you know what, there's so many deep issues to like everyone's, you know, using to be upset at each other, but like as far as you

and Reza, I just like, Reza is the one who needs lifting up right now Okay, because he's still that hurt child They're turning other people back and we just need to find a way to get him to open up Hit the child Someone I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, I heard people, So they're being like, look at us mature with babies. Guess what? Not watching the show for that. Thanks for coming, but please leave that shit at home. I don't need that here. But you know what though, I was thinking about it. Like they were being more mature, but I have to say that now that Shaz has semi-moved

into this whole quote-quote, adulting phase that it seems like Bravo. These sort of like younger Bravo shows sort of move into the non-real house, so I've sort of moved into this adulting phase where everyone passed themselves on the back for being an adult. I have to say they're doing a much better job than Vander Pump Rooals. Like Vander Pump Rooals, as soon as they started to like, as soon as they decided to be adults, the show just essentially deflated. And this show is still, they just, they've still kept enough immaturity about them that the show is thriving. I'm really happy. Yeah, they're just saying awful. Yeah, like it's awful, it's passing intrinsically awful.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then we go to Destiny's House and now we get a Paulina scene. Now this is very interesting how things are playing out here and also how our opinions are changing I'm sure yours has I mean I haven't heard it yet But mine is because of course I'm going off the whole time like if you don't like him leave him What the fuck is your problem you keep putting yourself in this situation? I can't listen to you anymore cry about the none of that but then after watching an episode like this It's like oh well is this an abuse victim?

I know yeah like what's happening? And then, of course, that totally changes the dynamic. But then, of course, you've got Destiny, who's pulling a reza by taking this girl who supposedly doesn't want anything on camera, but then giving her a full scene to tell us all the mic gossip on camera. And then Pauline is telling us this is happened 10 times.

But the only time we found out about it, and then Paulina is telling us this has happened 10 times, but the only time we found out about it were when cameras were rolling and she sent the text to all the friends about it. So it's like, what is going on? What is going on? I think that what is going on? What is happening here?

Like is Paulina using this to get on the show or is it? I have to say, I actually think the whole thing of like, oh, Paulina just wants to be on TV. I feel like, I actually feel like that line of reasoning is sort of unfair because everyone on the show just wants to be on TV. So why are we blaming Paulina for that? Like literally everyone on the show.

To show the genre in general is just based on it. I always think it's ridiculous when people on the real house say she just wants to be on TV. I'm like, well, what the fuck are you doing here? You just stumbled onto a TV set and got him and got miked up. So I kind of feel like- Right, no one's telling Kate Winslet. Like, oh God, did you hear her accent?

She just wants to be on TV. Like, yeah, that's why she's working hard to do it. So maybe Paulina deserves a credit for doing this kind of work to get on TV. You know, that's come for free. I actually, I have to say that we've seen a lot of really thirsty people on Bravo before. Oh, because they're, by the way, for sure, there are some people who exist solely to be on TV. I don't actually think that Paulina is as thirsty as that.

I think, of course, she has an element of thirst, but I do think she's in a fucked up relationship. I think that Mike is so interesting because I feel like there's certain seasons, when the seasons focus on him, we see just like kind of all his terrible sides. And when the seasons don't focus on him, I think he's actually very good about giving advice to others

and he can be very like wise and sage to others, but when it's about him, he's a full on disaster. And I think he always condescends the women in his life. And I think he is very controlling as we were gonna get into probably over the course of this entire weekend. All right, Mike is in the pub and my question. Mike is a piece of shit, period.

Yeah, but I think of Paul. And the abusive piece of shit, he's a gaslighting piece of shit. And he has been for years. He's a disgusting human being. So he's not really my question. I feel like that mystery solved. My question is more like Paulina, like what's going on here?

Well, that's what I was gonna say. So that I think that he is, I do think that he seems on some level emotionally abusive. It's hard to, those are very heavy terms and it's like sort of, you know, like one shouldn't say those things lightly, especially on like a reality show. I'll say them very lightly. He does seem definitely emotionally abusive and gaslighting.

Say it lighter. For sure. Yeah, I'll flip a line and throw that out. No, I said it lighter. But, um, yeah, yeah. No, but it, so I think that Paulina is trapped in that. And this is like her way of sending out SOS signals personally. I think she does these things and she comes

on on camera and she says it, but I don't, I'm not a psychologist. I don't know how this all works, but I also, as, as we get into the scene as Destiny's saying all this stuff to Paulina to both to her rep, I'm like, you know, Paulina is just going to go right back to Mike and say everything that Destiny said. And it's some sort of power play in this dynamic that happens. I don't, again, I don't know what it is. I'm usually a really good pop, you know, armchair psychologist, but on this one, I just don't have to bring power for it. But I think that Paulina is for sure in a bad situation, and this is her only way of

really kind of exerting some sort of power or voice. Well, yeah, he's, I mean, Mike is definitely a piece of shit. So let's just go through the scene and see what's going on. So we're at Destiny's Paulina comes over. Frank Sinatra. Oh my god he's dressed like a pumpkin. Yes Frank Sinatra. Yes. Hi Paulina. Yes queen. Yes queen. Yes you're showed up at my door dressed normally queen So they do a couple of shots and Destiny's like me and Paulina we've like been friends for a while now And then we see like last month they're doing shots together They met last month like oh, what's your Twitter? So Destiny's like yeah, she has two kids. She's holding it together She's been divorced. That's a lot like can't play it about Frankie peeing on my bath.

Ah, I like, it doesn't make a better, right? So Destiny says, does Mike even know you're here? Like, especially because a full moon is coming and Pauline is like, well, I'm mainly feeling that vein for a minute because like, those text messages, they happen like 10 times. So this is my question. You're calling Paulina over specifically to have a scene about Mike doing all these text messages and things. And then you're saying, please don't tell anybody when you know that she's going to like, yeah, she's best friends. You know that

this is, well, that's because she can say that and be like, and she can say, well, I told her not to say anyone, tell anyone, on to that way. She's, but this way she's comforted. This way Paulina's comfort, and she won't get in trouble with Mike about it, but she's actually getting it out there, right? Like, that's the whole point, is that so that way she doesn't get in trouble with Mike. And that way, she's doing it on his TV show

in front of TV cameras. So, no, the heart wants with the heart wants so My god, so she's like well, you know what like Those text messages like that's his turn on that's like porn for him like he doesn't see that is cheating Just he's like are you serious He's a piece of shit. When we were in Palm Springs, I was like, why is she like, oh, I don't get it. Like why are you and so pulling this like,

well, I was covering for him because like, that's what we do. And like because I went through it of sharing what happened, I felt guilty about it. Yeah, Destiny asked the question. We're all asking, why don't you just walk away? And she's like, well, in every other aspect, he's like in 10 out of 10. And she's like, yeah, but the guy treats you like shit.

And he doesn't deserve a woman period, especially not you. And I'm going to, you know, I'm going to make sure you're okay. And the Destiny's doing like the fake crying thing. Oh my god, girl I'm hooming my sin is right now like I can't hold on I'm holding my sign Yeah, the sign is like holding the tears back. Yeah, Mike's like a real ten on a town and every other way Oh, like in the way he treats you well We're like a two well in the way he lets you do what you want to do. Oh, that's like a two also Is it the way he lets you do what you want to do. Oh, that's like a two also. Is it the way he cooks? That's like a one. Is it the way he's loyal to you? That's a two.

Is it the way he put the hot wheels together for your kids? Oh, we all fell off. You know, like what's the springy angle? Maybe so fast. Is it the is it the way he dresses? Oh, well, that's like a For maybe I don't know Where's the 10 where is the 10 is it the way you let your chocolate croissants on that's actually a zero? I haven't had one in two years Yeah, it's really confusing to understand and that was kind of my thought while I was watching this scene now Of course by the end of the episode I was, he's an abusive asshole dump him right now. I'm like, run, girl, run, get some help, because yeah, now I'm getting like battered, you know,

battered wife or battered partner syndrome or whatever, and it's not good. Yeah. Well, either way, I mean, like, yeah, I mean, Dustin is right, she's basically like you, like he doesn't deserve a woman, like you, a woman period. And like you don't realize your own worth, and it works the fuck out of me,

that you don't realize it either. And I was like, I was like, good for you, Destiny, for saying that, but also please know that she's going to literally tell us all to Mike, just know that that's what's gonna happen. Yeah, because this, you know, all reality shows, but especially this one is what I'm at about from last season.

At Destiny is definitely pissed at Mike from last season. Oh, so anyway. So now we go over to Nemah's house, and he's lighting candles and spring for breeze everywhere. And we meet his dog, his dog is named Jacks, which scared for that dog. Wondering how many dogs that dog has impregnated in Vegas. Yeah, a house where someone sprang the fubries before you walk in. I don't like that.

I've never saw that Nima is that kind of person, but then yeah, we need the peeing dog, poor guy. So Nima's like, oh, I'm having a nail technician come over for me and Mike because, oh, hey, nail technician. Guess what? My friend doesn't know we're doing this. It's gonna be so great. Listen, don't make it gay, make our feet touch because that'll be crazy. That'll be crazy. I don't want to look gay during the scene where I'm getting my friend a pedicure at home. Okay. Yeah. So Mike comes over and he goes hey, what's up, dude? Huh? What's up my bro? My dude my bro, hey dude. Hey bro. Hey, man, bro. Yeah, bro bro. Hey bro. What's up?

Bro, what's this? Hey, this is your spot though. That's a lady. Oh, well, Mike Put your erection away. I thought you were trying to be loyal to Paulina Here is your chair your royal chair because I know you like a throne mic, my dude. So, Nima tells us that he likes this website called, what is it called? His Wiki Feet, and maybe if you'd watch hacks, you'd have a little bit more context about this, but you haven't watched hacks.

Where Wiki Feet is mentioned, it's referred to in a thing. I'm just shaming you. Yeah, I don't feel it. So, um, serving is rated higher than Nima. I mean, a website that's judging the shots of sunset's feet. Yeah. Like that's, I mean, that's, you know, whoever's running that is dedicated.

I mean, I get like, hey, what are Tom Cruise's feet like? But serving the Nima? I'm, well, you all know that. You know that they submitted themselves on that and sure, like, hey guys, hey, just all my Instagram followers, if you're interested, you can vote for me on wiki feet. And I'd really love that support. I've been really making my feet look nice. So thanks so much.

All right. You know, that's probably with a story at one point, right? And Nima's very into branding. So he's trying to make sure that his feet look the best. We see he's being sure to give WikiFeed a shout out on the show. So he can get some good feet action. I don't know. Well, my new venture is going to be called WikiAlbow.

And we're going to be, we're going to be rating people's elbows. I think it's going to take off, guys. You thought feet were fun. Wait till you get to the weenith. Okay, guys. So thought feet were fun. Wait till you get to the wieneth. Okay guys. So Mike is like, wow, wow,

this is like a typical Saturday night for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I made some gay shit joke. Yeah, you're gay, yeah. You're gay bro. You're gay bro. You're so gay. So Mike is, so Nima is like, so tell me about what happened

at the sick and she that I was not invited to on account of all the awkwardness between me and Goldeness, I have some very crazy sexual chemistry. We're going to roll that flashback again, am I almost kissing her? No? Okay, okay, that's fine. And Mike's like, well, you know what, I'm never going to get the truth out of Vresa because you know what, which is that? He told me that Goldeness sent a spoof message. You know what? You know what I which is that? He told me that God needs a sense of spoof messages. You know what? You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna let God sort it out. I was like, what are we using terrorist terminology now?

Well, it's also just like, but again, we often say that God has more things to do than sort out what's going on on Bravo. And even in that context, even if God decided, you know, I probably should check Bravo. I should probably deal with this. I mean, I did create all these fuckers. Okay, let me see.

Let's see what's going on here. Who's praying to God for? Okay, spoof messages. I think I'm gonna table that one. I'm gonna table that one. Yeah, God's like, famine or should I take care of Reza? Right. The spoof messages. Spoof messages. That's like, famine or... Or should I take care of Reza? Right now. The scoop messages.

Spoof messages. I just still love this idea of spoof messages. They even show a flashback of Mike saying, I'm talking about spoof text messages. He just gets so angry every time he says it. Like Paulina and spoof text messages are the things that I like to say. And he must like, bro, dude buddy bro, I think it's nuts to assume that this isn't going to come up. Like this is going to happen again between you, right?

It's going to happen again. And Mike's like, you know what? It's like playing poker with the same five guys over and over again. I know how Reza plays and I'm still going to play with him, but I know he bluffs. He ain't holding shit that guy Mike when was the last time you won a poker game? That's the big question, okay? Because if you're playing with the same five guys and you keep on losing maybe it's time to move on to I don't know Baccarat or something just like get out of that game. No cards with my you know even at the at the blackjack table

Mike is sitting there for like five minutes a hand counting The you know the symbols on his cards trying to add them up to 21. Mike also has the simplest tales, like he is clearly the easiest person to play poker with. He's like, oh, I have nothing in my hand, nothing whatsoever. And then he just starts like pounding his chest. Mike, why are you pounding your chest every single time you say you've got nothing in your hand? I don't know. I just had to do it. That's all. So Neema's like, are you gonna be cool at the party? And he's like, I'm not doing anything because you know what?

If he really believes this shit, then how can I convince him otherwise? Mike, but you did it. No. Spoof test messages. Mike, the man who demands honesty from everyone else is going to pretend like there are no issues. Great. That's a great form of honesty, Mike. You're doing great. Yeah.

So then, Reza is doing the Lisa Rinna pillow punch all over his house, which I know you love. But it's not his house. You love that pillow punch. I love a pillow chop. He's actually at a different house. He's chopping pillows and there's like a penis pillow and there's like a torso, like a torso sculpture.

And, um, like, well, first of all, clearly this is one of his friends. This is like his friend, Jackson, whatever his house that they decided to shoot a film in. The house hunter's style, where they're gonna pretend like they're gonna look at it. So, um, Reza is like, real estate is still my thing, you know? And then we see flashbacks of him, um, doing real estate over the years, saying things like things like, do you have you considered living in a hotel? Would you like to do that? And he's just, uh, he's still doing real estate. And so now he's doing a, arranging a showing for Gigi. I feel like this episode is answering all of our questions that we've had.

Because we're like, does he even do real estate? He here is doing real estate. Does this thing even still party plan? Destiny's, she talks about our party planning business. It's a very informative episode. So yeah, he's getting this house together to show Gigi a new mother where you come up there snowing to park and it's like two flights of stairs to get out. Yeah.

And Gigi also suffers from the plate that I suffer from now in this age of push button cars, which is that she gets out of her car and she's like, fuck, I'll leave my car on. I cannot tell you how many times my Subaru has one of those push buttons. I think every car has that now. How many times I think the car is on,

and so I turn it, quote unquote off, but then I'm actually turning it back on again as I try to step out that happens to me every single does that happen to you do you have a push button yeah electric car so or like a hybrid car so they don't make any noise yeah like that was there's nothing funnier than watching my dad try to drive my car because he doesn't know if it's on if it's off I said if the air conditioning is blowing your face. It's on okay. It was literally the most relatable The thing that you ever did was like stepping out of a car and be like oh fuck it's actually on So she's like rest like my knees cannot do this. It's too flights to get up to the front door

It's like I have some Planing to do I'm a new virtual assistant who didn't know about the step. All he knew is that Adam kept sending him dick pics doing jenga and I was like Ali is sure a bit. Blue, blue, I'm not talking to you right now Ali is sure a bit so can't turn off. Bitch, you look like you're going to a cadaphy wedding. Are your legs as tired as mine because I use a leg massage And Gigi's like okay, so I'm looking around this house like where does the food even go in here?

Where's the pantry? He's like no, there's no pantry, but there's better things in this house for me to show you Okay, so look from the kitchen to the living room is five steps Maybe a clay tile would your baby could probably kill himself on oh, let's look over here Okay, that's a death drop for the baby as well. That's just open stairs. Oh this area right over here This is where they instead of playing down tiles They just put down a whole bunch of spikes and nails. Isn't that nice? Which really great is that your baby can walk right into the fireplace!

It's a ground level! Ooh, and guess what? This cobra comes with the house, but it's free range. Yeah, she's like, uh, let's just not pretend to look at this house. Yeah, okay, I come out to, because it's one of those houses on some kind of a hill in LA where there's stairs to get to every separate room. Like you have to take stairs to go from the kitchen to the living room, stairs to go for the living room to the hallway, to the front door, stairs down the front door.

It's like an MCS or painting essentially. It's like basically the climactic scene of Labyrinth. It's like Elijah on a staircase and Golnessa walking upside down. So they start talking about a Lysha's party and she's like, yeah, I was a little bothered by that and there we get a clip. I did you in the ass bitch. And Rizza says, you know, Raza says he's like, like, he hasn't had a conversation with Mike. And, you know, Mike, listen, Mike was telling me it was you. He was saying, Gonesa did that was doing the spoof text messages. And I said, Mike, you sound unhinged.

And Gigi says, well, that's what you're saying. And then there's, well, there's what you're saying and what's Mike saying. And I don't know what it is, but I don't think what I'm gonna hear is the truth because all I'm gonna hear is what you're saying and what's Mike saying. And I'm like, yes, that's why you just said,

there's what you're saying, what Mike's saying. There's a truth. So she's like, but why is it your job to out him whenever he has his dick out? You know, because that only really affects me when I'm getting messages Well, I'm trying to eat pie, which I really don't like my pie being interrupted He's like, but a person lies, okay a bitch lies She's like, look you want transparency from Mike and he wants you to have his back whether he lies or not

Okay, so that's basically where we are so So you need to just accept that he's gonna fuck whoever he wants to lie about it, and he just needs to accept that you're gonna constantly question an embarrassed him in public. That was, I think that Gigi asking those questions really caught Resa off guard because he didn't have a prepared response when she's like, why do you have to be the one that like has to out him? And he goes, I, I don't know. I was like, I think it was like the first time you ever really thought about that. Well, he's doing that bottom lip biting thing

where he knows he's caught this entire season but he's trying to figure out who he's gonna have left. He's like, well, I can't fight with Gigi because I finally got her and I barely got her still on my side. MJ is up at the air. Mike's definitely not on my side. Nima hates me.

I mean, I've got Destiny, but nobody even likes her. Like, who do I have? He's like, maybe London, but she barely counts. So now we go to Destiny setting up her party and she's like, I love the black roses. Yes! And I wrote down, look, Destiny's doing an event. Very exciting. She's someone finally hired her to do an event and it was herself. She was the one who hired herself. Hey, that's how it rolls. Okay, I hired myself to do a podcast. That's how it is. I'm Unemployable anywhere else. I'm the only person telling myself yes, and that's just how it's gonna go.

So she's like, I've created a wonderful event, bitch. Yes, living and dead. Yes, I'm going big. Blah blah blah blah blah. And she talks about how big and impressive her company is, her event company, and then we see the party she threw for Shervin with the ladies walking around with lamp shades on their heads. Oh my goodness. Sorry, I got like a hang now that hurts me right now. It hurts.

That's about sums up Shaza Sunset. So then Saipali Na calls up and she's like, hey, I had so much fun. And does she's like, I love your face. We had so much fun. Yeah. So about that, like, I've been thinking about it a lot. Like last night, and now I'm like trust in shoes and I just think it's best like if I keep how I'm feeling on the deal because like I don't want anything to happen where Mike might retaliate. So like please don't put yourself in a situation like that. And Paulie does like, I'm sorry, that's just like, well, you know, as a friend who cares

for you and from Mike, it's hard for me because I see through the bullshit and like, whatever you decide to do, I support you and I hope to see you tonight where I will show my support by coming from Mike, okay? Yeah, about you. So then scary music, little dogs fighting. Let's go to nurse Jamie Yeah, babe. We're at nurse Jamie's to understand where we're at right now Wow, like I'm gonna have nurse Jamie to it every she wants cuz like everyone goes to like Nurse Jamie bitch I was like what the hell is this and in the old days and Jay would take me to get you know like my asshole bleach or

Like my butt wax You know whatever but And then we see flashbacks of course of Resil getting his ass Waxed which is great and then so now they're doing a nurse Jamie. So people go to nurse Jamie and they like go into nurse Jamie, looking like this. When they come back looking like this. Yeah, I was like, she needs to maybe, I don't know, do more. It's like, there's, you know, you go in and you say, I want this to be subtle, okay?

But that's really subtle. I don't want it to be so subtle that it doesn't look like I even came to you, damn it. I didn't really see any, the before and after on this scene was, I mean, listen, I can't complain. I can't get mad at this woman considering that everyone else in LA, the before and after, looks like people got,

you know, a hamburger injected into their lips. So this is like the one woman in LA who actually seems to have some discretion. Yeah. So M.J. gets some kind of patch thing on her stomach with numbers on it. I don't know what it's supposed to do. And Ressa's getting shots. And so they start M.J. is getting off on it because she loves watching people get tortured.

Yeah. So now they're just talking about phase two. Oh yeah, because Resa's gonna have to go back in for phase two. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought this was funny when NERS Jamie was like, you know what, you could use some volume here

and maybe little bow talks here and here. And Resa goes, I love you. talks here and here and here and where it goes I love you. So then they talk about the meeting baby sharam's thing and she's like you know what like that's how Tommy feels but it's not how I feel but you do have a restraining order against him you know I can't speak for him. And he's like, yeah, but it's like a jawring because it's like I had a lottery ticket. And before the lottery happened, someone told me I lost. Yeah, it's, you know, you know, who told you that you lost already? Common sense. Okay, because not everyone who buys a lottery ticket is then thinking for the next 12 hours, hours, I've definitely won until I'm told otherwise.

Everyone who buys a lottery ticket knows they've already lost and they're thinking maybe they'll get that call. So don't feel bad if someone says you probably didn't win the lottery, okay? So, and in this case, don't feel like you have a restraining order out, that's the reality in this situation. That's the common sense here, idiot. Idiot. Yeah, I don't get it. That's the common sense here, idiot. Idiot.

Yeah, I don't get it. I mean, winning a lottery, you get money. You know, meeting somebody's babies and winning the lottery, it's like, you have to spend money. Like, you meet the baby of like, wow, now I gotta buy you fucking presents, you know? Yeah, so, but he's like doing, he's doing his usual like,

I was almost gonna win the lottery. On your knees and done it at the dream, and I had a dream. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah people about it. That's just hilarious coming from Reza. I know. Don't have conversations with other people when it comes to me meeting baby shuns. So she's like, babe, I wish it was like the old days where we're like in my car going to my house. And we would go straight through that door and be like, hey, hey mom, she'd be like, you don't look very good.

You look sick. Wouldn't that be fun? He's like, one day, one day. And they hold hands. And they hold hands. So the day of the party, we're at Mike Skondo, and he's got his expensive Aststerkila and Mima comes over He's like, honey, just kidding bro. I'm all what's up, dude? I came with an entire outfit. This is nuts

This is fucking crazy bro. Are you gonna go with serving to bro? Yeah, he's like oh this isn't a cold. She's a makeup artist. She's Mona's friend. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, oh, this isn't Nicole. She's a makeup artist. She's Mona's friend. Yeah, yeah, Mike, okay, stop rubbing your crotch. Okay, you're on camera now. Okay, Mike, okay. Okay. Mike's like, don't worry, Shervin goes dressed as me.

So Nicole comes, yeah, Nima's like, yeah, they made him whatever. So then he's Pratt, we see clips of where Nima's getting his costume and it's over at Tommy's house because he's gonna dress as MJ That is like so crazy It's like I just rewound the lottery Nima Nima would you promise me that if you dress as MJ and you bring a little prop that's supposed to be baby shams that I can meet Your problem that's supposed to be baby shams that I can meet your problem.

So would you please carry in a cabbage patch doll and introduce it to me? I didn't get to meet Nima's cabbage patch doll. I'm busy, please. Have it wrapped in a giant check. It's a lottery on it. check So so Tommy yes, so we see a flashback of Neema at at the house and he's like trying on some of MJ's wardrobe And he's got padding in there for the button that moves. He's like he's like I hope I've got the boobs right Oh, okay, you do you just think of a dead-hated Zeppelin race is itstone or versus good? Yeah, that's what a breast look like blips.

Big old blips. It's like, whoa, Tommy. I wanted to look like Zeppelin, trying to fly hot air balloons under a pair of juicy co-tours. Am I? I'm getting dizzy from doing that, Tommy boys, for one second. I'm like, any more in oxygen.

So, uh, Gigi's now at Destiny's House and I'm just happy. Frankie, Frankie, come back! Oh my God, thanks a lot. Just like a brand out the front door. Yes, Frankie, yes. Stop trying to make Frank Sinatra happen, please. So, uh, and then MJ's house, London shows up dressed as a vampire, and she shows up at the door with a little gift,

and MJ goes, oh, is this for Destiny? And London goes, yes, how did you know? And MJ goes, because we're going to her house. So then Palina is at Mike's house. She comes over to Mike's apartment, and the makeup artist tells Neema, Hey, you've got a little five o'clock shadow there. You should probably shave and he's like, Oh, that's a point. All person women have one. Mona had a mustache growing up. Oh, and she gets ill. No, they don't. Of course, Ronnie, you missed the part where Paulina walked in the door and Mike said, this is my better half. Paulina!

Just an excuse to say Paulina. Paulina. Oh, so Paulina has already chucked drinks. Yeah, she is. Paulina's like, oh Jesus, I know what's coming. So she starts chucking those drinks. And then we go to Reza's house. Reza is in one of those sweater jumpsuit things and a fro. Did you notice that Reza's house was the only place that they gave a name to.

Everyone else was MJ's house, Mike's apartment. But for Reza's, it said Reza's tomb, which shows what the producers think about Reza right now. I mean, he has Adam. He's like, I'm feeling cruelly, baby. Adam's like, are you giving me some Wap right now Oh Oh Oh You're a whapper

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh So then it's like, oh, are you wearing, oh, we know was that maybe that was later when someone asked if he's wearing something under it, but So so basically MJ's dressed kind of like a hippie. She's wearing her. She's where she's coming dress as her intention piece and love and Then we basically are at the party and it's at the Garden of the Black Rez is and Golnessa is dressed as a skeleton

And then the caption under it says Golnessa skeleton. I was like thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Hello, it's Halloween night. The moon is shining bright. My clothes are at night and things are tight. Yes. I've made a scene for Halloween. So come on in. Yes, Queen. So, TG's just already in terrible mood, right? Yeah. It's like, wow, are those Beatles? Wow, are those Black Roses? Wow, they're real. Yeah, some Mike shows up. It addresses a SWAT officer and Paulina is a police officer. shows up, it addresses a SWAT officer and Paulina is a police officer and Neema is as MJ. And probably the most horrifying drag since Lydia graced us all with her Charlie Chaplin

costume, which admittedly was not her fault. Tamra forced her into that. One of Tamra's great contributions was forcing Lydia to dress as Charlie Chaplin and haunting us for the rest of our lives, just the world's worst drag we've ever seen. Yeah. So Mike's like, oh my god, look what I brought. Paulina and also MJ, look it's MJ.

And Gigi's like, oh, so you dress like MJ? Are you, I mean, did you ask her if she's cool with that? Pfft. And he was like, I have not asked her if she's not, but we did do a focus group with Just Tommy. And he said it was great. And if she's not cool with it, then it's probably going to derail quickly

and we'll probably have to rebrand. And Gigi just walks off all mad. And Mike's like, oh my god, what kind of entrance was that? This night has started off on the wrong foot. Paulina! Paulina, I get off my foot. It's the wrong foot. So, Paulina, left foot, left foot.

Oh god, wrong foot, wrong foot by Paulina. My left Paulina. My left Paulina. So, did you know that you were swinging for my left Paulina So I'm taking London arrive and he was like oh, I'm shake I'm shake I'm shake There's literally two of us right now because I'm MJ go on MJ. Do you got it? No? I'm I'm you I'm you don't just like you right now. I'm she's like oh Yeah, you're wearing my entire outfit you look really good. You're gonna dry clean that right right yeah

I'm saying Adam and Raza come and Adam's Adam's in a guilt and he's like Hi, Gaines. I wore my easy access skirt and he's like, Hi, Gaines, I'm warm, I'm easy access skirt. Yeah, at which point? I was just like, and then Raza's like, the fact that M.G. and I rolled up in similar costumes,

that's crazy. I can only imagine if the two of us were trusted like, what was baby Shams dress like, but that I remember. I never see a madre mou with you because you're in a little frow. I did was taken away from me, it's like somebody took all of the lottery balls and just threw them all over the floor. Powerball, more like, powerless ball. Hey, you can all take turns having sex with me. Everyone gets a ride. And you just hear Destiny going, yes, yes.

And we get some others, some randos coming in, a woman named Emily, someone named Yassi, someone named Shiva, they all come in. And we just got to Paulina at the bar going, can I have an other drink? Uh, which, I feel like they always set up the fact that Paulina is getting drunk when it's my QX crazy at these parties.

Like, I guess they're just trying to show how miserable she is. Yeah, she's like, can I am or alcohol and maam. So yeah, Destiny's friends and Reza's friends, all these friend friends are coming over. And Neem was like, oh, hi, that's Maris. I'm on Maris, get it? Come on, dress like Maris, I'm on MJ.

It Destiny comes out dressed as sexy beetle jeez, which I thought was fun. It's actually a really good costume, but I also thought it was funny. It's actually a really good costume, but I also thought it was funny. I love when people just turn, make one costume into a sexy version, and I'm always like,

well, I'm so surprised we're able to get a sexy angle on that, but she did it. She made sexy beetle juice, and then she sees the name, and she goes, you look like a new Jersey housewife, which was, I wasn't sure if it was a self-referential bravo moment or just a general comment about

Jersey, but it was so notable. Other way, not cool. So Paulina goes up to London and she goes, I can't you not like, you like made me think differently about females. Like now I think it's like really sexy for a woman to be with another woman. I mean, Mike would die for that. Like maybe now it's not the time, Paulina.

Has Paulina ever heard of Lesbians? Like what did London do? Like London really exists as a lesbian and that like open Paulina's eyes. The idea that woman could be with him. Paul has never heard of Lesism before she's like wow Now that I've heard of this new thing called lesbianism wow what a great idea Did you know that the indigo girls actually kind of dated? I think at one point like

Like you know that you're mad at your boyfriend for like cheating right Maybe now it's not the time. Yeah. So London's like, oh I could never share my partner or let my partner look at other females and Pauline goes, mean towel. Like what would happen if your girlfriend messaged other females? Oh, that's cheating to me. Oh, yeah. Okay, come on. Like what is Paulina trying to make cheating small talk now? What is Paulina doing? Understand that. And then I almost felt like she was trying to force

and issue, so that, but in a way that she's trying to force a mic cheating. Right, but she doesn't want me held accountable for it. I think that she's like afraid of Mike in some way and so she wants other people to sort of bring it up And so that way because I think on some level maybe It's not that maybe she's not even afraid of Mike, but she feels like she can't go at Mike publicly because that would be like Rude or like not what she's supposed to be doing so she wants other people to go at him. I don't know. But these are just fun theories I like to play around with. Well, I mean literally she sent the text all his friends so they would go at him, you know,

exactly. So yeah, she's like, that's cheating. And Pauline is like, well, destiny. I'm going to maintain you in the ban realm, leaner. Yeah. And so, um, And so then Destiny and Pauline are hugging and Mike is just like layering from across the party. Mike, who made a whole day to do a few episodes to go about like, guys from now on, I'm going to not react as much. I'm going to let things slide off my back. As ever, it's by this entire episode. So and he tries to say hi, how are you?

And she's like, we are not going to things act. We're not gonna act like things You're okay because it's not okay So she gives a speech and She's like okay to full moon, etc. etc. So she's like I want everyone to sit where they don't normally Sit so we can start conversation Paulina said by me Mike's like absolutely no This is my weekend with my girl and I just want to sit with my girl. Sorry like say it's Paulina said by me. Mike's like, absolutely no. This is my weekend with my girl,

and I just want to sit with my girl, sorry. Like, just so you know, though it's a pandemic and you guys have been quarantined together. Oh, actually, no, they haven't, sorry, no Mike has an apartment. Oh, I forgot Mike has an apartment because he was setting texts to other women. So, okay, never mind, I take that all back.

Disfunction. Yeah. So he's, never mind. I take that all back. Disfunction. Yeah. So he's really mad and won't let one letter sit wherever she wants, which is a very controlling. And b, also he knows what the fuck is coming. And also, he's like, really, you're gonna go sit by Destiny to come at me at this party. Also, see, if Polina sits by Destiny,

that does not detract from the fact that this is their weekend when she doesn't have the kids and they can be together, does not take away anything. It's not like they are going to be having a private date next to each other at the dinner party. That's not literally like, she is three feet away. It's okay, you guys don't have to sit next to each other.

Yeah, he knows what's coming. You know, but he knows. He knows what I mean. You're right though, he knows. He knows what the whole point of all this is. Yeah, so Destiny's like, okay, everybody. I just wanna say, like, I love dressing up, like, yes. Nice speech, Destiny.

So, I hope y'all have a good time, cause there's like a lot of stuff that's gonna be happening. Yes, yes, son. Nah. I hope y'all have a good time. He's like, this soup is delicious. What is in it? Is it mic cheating? Or is it baby shabby? I don't know. Two things I haven't seen, but I know exist.

Kim, I have a dollop of he's getting what's coming to him, please. Thank you. So, um... So, uh, probably Nikita's out from the table. She's like, um, I'm getting, excuse my song. So she gets up and walks off and Destiny follows and Mike's like, Oh God, here we go, here we go. You just see him smiling, I'll piss off after them.

It's like such an asshole. Mike is such a mess. So he's just giving this evil smile. And so Destiny goes up to Paulina and she's like, Oh my God, are you okay? Let's crane the bathroom. What happened? It's like so sad and like so heartbreaking. And like if that were me, I would like drop kick his ass so fast. Be like Mr. Belvedere, drop kick your jacket as you walk through the door. No one cares. So then MJ comes in and is like, guys, hurry up. So now there's three girls out there.

So now Mike is getting even more uncomfortable. And so by the time they all come back, Mike is really brewing. So then they come back to the table and Dustin goes, guys, queens, queens. I have another thing at my sleeve. You each have something under your purple plate and when it's your turn,

you're going to pick up your plate and read it and all of us are going to give feedback, which is funny because feedback on Bravo is usually the worst thing ever. And of course, I think of real housewives of Melbourne and Andrea saying, all right ladies, Jaina, I just want to give you a little bit of fate back, is that all wrong? Just a little bit of fate back.

A little bit of advice, a little bit of, a little bit of friendly advice. Yeah, it was like friendly advice or something. But yeah, this is a typical bravo trek and Mike immediately goes, I hate this shit. Mike, I'm not gonna- immediately goes I hate this shit Mike He hates this ship, but he also falls for it. He is so easily baitable Yeah, so Gigi should start so Gigi's like well who's who's most likely to be

Who's most likely to be related to what an actual witch? Oh an actual which. An actual with. I should've got that. Who's related to a sandwich? Who's most likely to be related to a sandwich? I'm really. Rami. I wrote, who's most likely to be related to actual with?

So it's like what? So she guesses Destiny and MJ asks asks who in this group is most likely to have a baby or get married next. And someone yells Paulina and Destiny goes, I think for sure it's not Paulina or Mike. Sorry, I just don't. So then this woman, she, the reads one that says, who is most likely to have high credit card debt in this group and Mike just starts taking his hat just so... He doesn't know is it? He does it.

Nope. And Paulina's like, Bane, aren't you okay? Bane, he's like, I don't like these things. Okay, I don't like these things. Are you talking about the game or credit card bills? Paulina, quiet. Okay, my turn. Who in this group is more likely to marry for money?

Wow, I got the most pointed at Mike, question what he's shot. I'm like, this is nonsense. Hey, hey, hey, Adam, Adam, how much money did you have when you came into this group? And Adam's like, Mike, you're projecting. I make my own money, Mike. Okay.

And then Paulina in Farsi says to Mike, you're showing that you're an idiot. You're showing you're an idiot. So now you know, Mike's gonna be really mad because when she says that he's an idiot, especially on the camera, he's gonna get really pissed. So we're gonna go, next question, next question. So, Dusty goes, okay. Hey, Mike, like, or was that Mike who said that? I've wrote down Resa, but I may have been Mike.

So, Dusty. I wrote Resa too, so I wrote Resa. It's just two out of two doctors, say. Next, soup, please. So, then, Dusty goes, okay, am I like stopping it? Everything is so, you know, I mean, you're a bit cuckoo. He's like, oh, I am a little, I am a little, yeah, I am a little. Okay, I am a little.

He's like, so he's getting away. Thank you for having us all winter, a whole mess. It's like, it's not over yet. Okay, Paulina calm down. Oh, my better half is going to speak for us. Okay, she speaks for both of us. Okay, that's what Paulina does, apparently. Apparently she speaks for us.

I guess I'm just an idiot, huh? Ha, Paulina, ha, Paulina. that's kind of like a ton of what you say Yeah, Mike is so bothered so London because her name is London tries to do an accent She's like you is met her Glad to swindle someone and a prom that scam Test me stamps up and points at Mike That's what he stands up and points at Mike. He's like,

It's so obnoxious, but also hilarious, because Mike is so bothered by it. Like, it's literally such a cruel thing for one friend to do to another, but Mike is like, he's like, you know what, I don't give a fuck. You guys are lame. You guys are lame.

Yeah, he's like, these questions are not innocent at all. Okay, you know, like, oh, who's likely to have credit card? Of course they mean me like oh who's the most likely to you know Check on the cheat or whatever, you know this is like ridiculous because these are like comments that resets me to me in the past And then we see a clip of recipe like oh yeah, he's gonna be with palina cuz she's like rich and she's getting Aluminum and like child support. Yeah, I'm gonna twerk on the ground I wish less 40 pounds restaurant owner bitch So Mike is like reza you wrote these this is yours. No, I swear to God. This has nothing to do with me

I'm just here enjoying this delicious soup. I was no reza. This is your print. This is your print Which I was like I Mean I'm a I assume the questions were just like printed out, right? Like, I was like, it's your print. It's like, what is it leopard? That's not fine. Mike, other people use her vetica. No, no, no, that's your font. That's your handwriting, very clear letters. And that's things, uh, it's my print. No, it's his. You know, because I've got things from you, Ressa, memos.

I've gotten memos from you. So I know, I know. So Ressa tells us, I mean, what's my goal? Like to write a question to activate Mike. Yes. Miami, my new presence is activating Mike. Yes to that too. All of the above.

You want to activate him in any way possible. And then every time Mike is activated, all of the above. You want to activate them in any way possible. And then every possible. So Mike is activated, he's so pissed. And MJ is like, Mike, stay calm. He's like, no, this is stupid. And so then Destiny begins her repeat round. Yes. Now Destiny is just going to repeat everything like says.

He's like, this is stupid. Oh, it's stupid. I pray for you. He's like, I pray for you too. I pray you can be honest. I can be honest. Mike That's a big coming from someone who's been bullshitting this whole time. Well your time is going to come with him soon. Okay. Your time is going to come My time is gonna come. My time is gonna come. Yes. If the shit doesn't end and we're going to start, we need to start with with with our respect Those bridges where we're trying to build are going to burn. So let's start tonight. I say let's go Let's go you're seeing that we need to move past things Um and like come by y'all we're not gonna like move past this but you just said I'm a liar So why am I a liar? What am I lied about?

You know what I'm sorry I brought it up and I will never bring it up again because I don't care. I't look you don't care. I don't care. You don't care. You don't care Then why are you here? You only here what you want to hear I choose what I want to hear from you because I don't hear bullshit Okay, you don't hear bullshit. You're the one Very first play I wrote back when I was when I was younger, I used to write plays. And like all my dial like was like that. I was like, I have to go to the store to the store.

Yes, because I need to get, I need to get supplies. Supplies, like there was always one character who was like asking questions that way there could be more exposition. And then basically what does is doing right now? So she's you know she's yelling at him and going at him and She's like, you know like you clear that you give it shit because you're scared for your own girl to talk to me Like yeah, you are because I said I wanted your girlfriend to sit here and then you almost went crazy

And he goes oh really oh, I control you Palina. Why don't you tell them, Paulina? Tell them I control you. Go ahead, tell them right now. Tell them I control you, Paulina. By the way, you're literally commanding her to do something. Quickly. In an attempt to show that you don't control her,

you're commanding her to do something. He's like trying to fit a car key into her ear. He's like, I control you, tell them. Paulina, where are your batteries? So, Paulina's like pounding and Destiny is screaming like Mike, she doesn't have to say anything because it's obvious, okay? And then Polina is like, I haven't said a word.

She's saying, I control you. Do you hear what she's saying? Yes or no? Do you hear what she's saying? Say something right now. I'm entering a command right now. Okay. C.

Collin. Hashtag. Slash Mark. Say yes or no. You run on MS-DOS now. Okay. See, colon, hashtag slash mark. Say yes or no. You run on MS down. How? Uh, backwards slash run. Uh, so that's what it means. Do I control you? That's what it means. Like, um, I haven't been nothing but straight 100. 100 red. And he's like, you're trying to bring up this stuff in this party to break up my relationship And she's like you fucked up your own relationship Oh son Son and she goes I'm not your son. He goes I'm not your son. You could never afford me son

Which doesn't literally does like I didn't understand what that was like oh you you don't, your household budget could not include a child right now. So that's like there. They're always giving him shit about being a paid for man, right? That's this thing like married for money. And so he's saying, well, you could never afford me. And she's like, I would never afford you. And he goes, yeah, you could never afford me

in your stupid little two bedroom house. And she's like, well, at least in my stupid two bedroom house, but you're in an apartment that you find. I know. I was like, why? I was like, he at least I'm my stupid two bedroom house, but you're in an apartment that you I know I was like why I was like he's in an apartment and so Paulina by the way excuses herself during this and also did you catch this doesn't he goes um if you're my son-of-beat the shit out of you which I don't condone child abuse but I did think that was very funny just to think I'm just like spanking little mic. So then, so she's, so then he's like, you know what, I'll buy and sell you. Get the fuck out of

here. I'll buy and sell you. Okay. Like you'll buy and sell me. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. So she's like, get out of my house. Get out of my house. You want to just have a screaming. He walks into the house to get Paulina, because Paulina has gone back to the bathroom. Yes. And he's just, she's just screaming, get out of my house, get out of my house, and he's standing at the bathroom door like, come on, get out, get out. I don't control you, get out right now. Paulina, and she won't come out. Paulina, Paulina, there's a big Paulina moment that he says Paulina like five times.

Yeah, it's just a repetition for five minutes. So if that's the screen, he'd get the fuck out while Mike is saying, Paulina, Paulina, Paulina. So, and she's so, and she's going nuts. I mean, and I think she's being hilarious. She's like, buy and sell me, bitch. You fucking buy horse and Vegas. Did you forget? I know of you, them.

Did you forget? Did you forget? Did you forget? And then Gigi is trying to hold her back and Gigi of all people goes, are you a lady? Are you a lady? A lady? I'm like, okay, GG.

Please don't talk about being a lady. Like, you're a lady. Are you a lady? Are you or not? I thought it was interesting that Destiny said, you got some whores in Vegas, and I know a few of them, because that was at their party that she threw, that event that she threw with all those sexy girls

and the wrestling ring or whatever. She's like, what are you confessing to you right now, Destiny? Destiny? Like Destiny is a ring in Vegas. Destiny did get more interesting during this episode. No, that was great. And I will give her credit.

And I was like, yes, Destiny. So then Mike goes outside to the grouping and he says, is this the bullshit you feed this person? Because he's saying it to Resa. He's like, is this the bullshit you feed this person? Where's she coming up with this nonsense? And Resa's just sitting there with hisaza. He's like is this the bullshit you feed this person? Where's she coming up with this nonsense? And Raza's just sitting there with his soup. He's like I'm eating.

What is he saying to me now? I'm just eating soup. I clearly do not plant any ideas into this scene. Yeah. And he's like you will not get an ounce of aggression out of me. You will not wring it. You will not squeeze it. You will punch it.

You will not trigger me. You will not press my buttons. Because punch it, you will not trigger me, you will not press my buttons, because I like the food and wait, I can't see shams. Oh, I cannot see shams. I can only wonder if this food is as delicious as the food that baby shams gets to eat, but I will not know because I will never be able to see him and his baby food. Mike's like you're the one who feeds her everything. Oh yes, it only means always me.

Yes, it is you. And this is totally out of your playbacks, sir. Although you have to hand it to Reza, I mean, he's playing this so well. He knew, I mean, he just sat there. I was like, he's like, I'm gonna eat soup and I'm gonna play, and all it is said, I mean, he just sitting there,

like everything is playing out perfectly for him. So then Destiny comes out, because why are you the fucking slave owner? Get the fuck out. Cause she's still hung up on the, I buy and sell you, whatever. So Destiny's like, get out of my house, get out my house.

But I want Polina. I want Polina. So she's sort of like, you know, I wish there was like a word that was not as strong as saying push because she wasn't really pushing him, but she's sort of like like she pushed him. I wrote that. She definitely pushes him.

When she's pushing him but it's not it's not I would not say this is a very bad. She's sort of like it's like maybe light shoving like come on get out get out get out she's like that that's sort of like tapping flapping motion that you give to people when you want the amount of your space like come on out of it. She's like get out of my house. Get out of my house. Get out of my house. He's like I want polina don't touch me. I want Polina, get out my house, get out my house.

And then he, at some point, he just like whips around. They don't touch me, but he's sort of like whips around like a shove. And what I felt was, I felt like it was sort of a violent move that did not match her level of light pushing. Not saying that he beat her or anything, but it was like, I was like, okay, he escalated that. Well, it looks like she's pushing him and going, get out, get out, get out. And he's like, nah, don't touch me. Do not touch me. Do not touch me,

because she keeps poking at him or whatever. And then it looks like she grabs her, his sweater or something, and like, he's trying to get his sweater out of her hand. I can't tell what was going on. I rebounded it like 10 times. I'm not still good about that. Yeah, I definitely got flashbacks to, did you watch the real-world San Diego when Robin was like with those guys out and about?

And then it was like a Marine. And then she'd like, was like, oh, and she's like, she sort of gave like a light punch on his shoulder, and then he got her arrested for it. That's sort of where I, that was like, oh, and she like, she sort of like gave like a light punch on his shoulder and then he got her arrested for it. That's sort of where I, that's, that was like my reality show reference of this scene. So, um, by the way, and during this entire thing, we're mics, don't touch me, don't touch me, not pully now, don't touch me, don't touch me, we hear Razz in the background, we're like, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. And Destiny goes, he's so lucky, I didn't say one fucking word tonight.

Like what? She just screamed that he fucked Hookers. Like what are you talking about? So then Mike's like, oh my god, now she's attacking me, so they get in the car to go home, the, you know, the big ass car, whatever the Uber. And so Paulina's like, man, stop it, man. Do not say a word until we get home. Yeah, that's like, do not say a word because he's

basically saying we're mic'd. So don't say anything. They'll be used against me on this. Yeah. Yeah, Mike is a piece of shit. He's a piece of shit. And she should be able to say whatever word she wants to say in that car, regardless of whether there's a show. And also she did orchestrate that whole scene. I mean, we've gotta give Paulina credit too. I mean, I think Destiny and Paulina came out the MVPs of this episode. Destiny, I think definitely did.

I think Destiny called Mike out for all his shit and was like, you're not gonna get away with this. And the truth is, you are a scumbag. And like, you don't get to like tell us what to say and what not to say. You don't tell it, get to tell your girlfriend what to say and not to say. And you get out of my house because you know what?

He would have done, he would have pulled the same shit. Like get out of my house, get out of my house. He would have pulled the same shit. And then he does, he goes into her house while she's yelling get out of, oh yeah, he's so. He's a real, he's a real pig. He really is. Yeah, he is. he's a real. It's a real pig. He really is It's a fun episode my great episode that my episode

Geez Thank you guys all for listening We will be back tomorrow with a big Below dexaling out a reunion both episodes and what we're just gonna do like one big reunion recap Which will be interesting. I mean, can't wait can't wait to talk about this baby situation on below Dexaling out should be a good one. So we'll be back with that and there will be a mayor of Eastown bonus episode this week too. So Put those all in your calendar. We'll talk to you on the next one. Thanks all for listening. Stay safe

By Paulina by Paulina! Not in the word! Not in the word! Not in the word! Not in the word! Paul MJ! Podcast is over. Not in the word! Paul MJ!

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