Watch What Crappens - Shahs: Voy Meets World
Episode Date: March 10, 2020After a one night stand with Sara's brother Sam, Destiney faces the scrutiny of the group on this week's Shah's of Sunset. Plus, it's a quadruple dose of filler activities: DIY pottery, cat c...offee, dance class, and a cooking competition! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Guess what happens Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just
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I'm Ben Mantelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, you can catch it on YouTube.
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Oh hi, are you?
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Yeah.
Today, today we're discussing Shah's Sunset, which made its transition to Friday nights.
And it picked up where we left off in Vegas.
So here's the story where we left off last week was that destiny
and
Sarah's brother Sam we're having sex at the Waldorf Astoria ruining the brand and
This week
Rooting the brand pretty much pretty. I mean it's already pre ruined by Bravo just being there
But so this week we wake up like the Katy Perry song
Waking up in Vegas
Waking up in Vegas, I forget the lyrics. It would have been better if I knew the lyrics, but um
So the alarm wakes up rest and he's like whoa
Why do I feel like a 65 year old hooker that was working the strip all night?
Oh, let me revise that. Why do I feel like a 65 year old hooker that just lost 40 pounds?
Bitch, last 40 pounds, 65 year old hooker's lighter!
It is a 65 year old hooker that just got off work at the strip and lost 50 pounds, bitch!
So, uh, Raza basically sleeps like my city, my grandmother,
with his 20 gold bracelets on.
Like, you can take those off, okay?
Oh, please, he was asleep.
He knew she was getting up.
He knew she was getting up in the morning,
because you just, you're,
quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick,
Hommie!
Yeah, I urge you, I urge you, Cynthia, Jesus.
It's like when Aasla used to be on the show,
and used to do those,
she'd do some of the interviews with a gold piece over her face
And just even with all her bangles when she'd just be doing her interviews and all just here like
Sounded like like wind was blowing through a wind chime store. Yeah, that's every family that's what is that?
That's my microphone. Did it sound good my My microphone's like, whoa, something like that.
That's so fun speaking of pasta.
Because it's my microphone, I have a little arm
that's attached to my desk and it has springs.
And in real life, when you hit the spring,
it makes a perfect clanking springy sound,
but apparently on the podcast, it sounds like a death ray.
Yeah, it's like, no.
Sorry, sorry, everyone.
Yeah, that's every family event growing up.
It was like, clank, clank, clank, clank, all the girls were like, clank, clank, clank,
clank.
So then we see Sarah get out of bed.
Misurably.
Who brought Sarah on the show?
That's one miserable girl.
She hates it all.
She does.
What's she even doing here?
Who brought her?
I think she thought she's going on Shark Tank or something.
It's like, no, you're not going on Shark Tank.
You're just going to be in a Shark Tank.
A few minutes.
Yeah.
So Sara calls Sam and just gets his voice mail.
And if it's as exciting as he is, he's like,
Hello, you've reached Sam.
I'm not here right now.
Leave your message.
I will call your vagina back as soon as my sub has time.
Thank you.
Yeah, full of personality that one.
So then we have Destiny and Sam in the morning,
which is like the worst morning show of all time.
But Sam, they're getting dressed together.
Sam, I thought by now Sam would have crept out the door,
but I think he was in it for a free meal.
And...
TV, hello.
That's true, too.
So they're like laughing about like,
Destiny's like, what's the last thing that I remember,
and so we see flashbacks of them,
get grooving on each other,
grinding on each other in top golf,
the most romantic place in Vegas.
Yeah, top golf, the classiest place
that from the Waldorf to top golf. Yeah. So grindin' and stuff.
And he's looking at her like, what do you want to do now? And
they're just playing sexy horns, which I don't really remember.
I just wrote down in my sexy horns. So I can only imagine they
were like,
like the worst loop from Garage Band.
So Destiny's, she's gonna be seeing her mom at breakfast and she's like, you know, like,
boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, not that my mom loves hearing Vegas.
That means every time I come to Vegas, I'll see you.
And he's just like, great.
Like we're still on TV, right?
So then we go to this breakfast restaurant. I don't know what it was
But
The TV room in Las Vegas
So Reza the hostess seats Reza at this table that made me so angry that I took a picture of it
And I posted it on our Instagram grid and I was like this will get like
100 likes because I know this is so specific and this is but I just felt like I had to put on blast the table was not a table
The table it was like a box you couldn't put your knees under it and like didn't have any room like you can not only can you not put your knees
You can't put your toes anywhere
Which is really makes a difference because when you can't even put your toes under something
Then you really have to sit far away from it was basically an end tables basically two end tables
and end tables, basically two end tables. They were pushed together and are supposed to be
some sort of like tea table experience
that they were playing, probably paying a premium
because it's Waldorf's story.
So it's like fancy tea, but you can't even
stick your toes under the table.
I was so mad and I took that picture and I knew
I was probably like, this is gonna be a stupid post
on Instagram
But wow, I felt so heard because so many people liked it and were like yes that table sucks
I saw that too. I hated that table. Why is that a table? Why is it there? I just want to say thank you to our listeners for like
Being on being on the wavelength
Maybe not Ronnie, but I what are you still there Ronnie?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I was laughing. I'm sorry
Because I just had a very like very cathartic rant and then it was just met with stony silence
No, I was here listening to you. I was laughing. I was saying thank you America for siding with Ben against that table
It's a very very important Iss issue with the mantle care households.
Okay.
Thank you for wrapping Ben in that warm support blanket against that table.
You know what?
It's really true.
I really, like, really thank you.
I mean, look, it has, I'm looking on Instagram right now.
1600 people signed off on that.
I'm like, wow, I really feel,
and in fact, Courtney from Below Deck said,
might as well just eat off your lap at that point.
I mean, enough said.
This is yeah.
I'm just gonna be counting the show.
I can't remember.
Nope.
So Resa, the waiter comes over and Resa's like,
any recommendations?
Where shirts fit. I don't know, don't wear hats inside. So the waiter comes over and rest is like any recommendations Where shorts that fit
I don't know don't wear a hat inside like how it works socks maybe with your shoes in the hottest city in the world
Just like I don't know
Yeah, he reads the menu goes T a hug in a cup
Fuck that T that T I'll tell you one thing that tea is trying to spread
lies about Adam fuck that tea and Destiny is getting ready to go out with her guy I don't
know they keep cutting back and forth like we're supposed to care about destiny and her
fuck boy don't care okay let's go back to LA no no no no, no, wait, wait, before she, oh, I mean,
because when she was getting ready,
she has a sneeze attack and destiny,
this is how she sneezes.
So you, so you, so you, so you, so you, so you, so you,
yeah, I'm finding destiny such a phony baloney
the season, I have little baby noise sneezes hate her.
That was my note.
So that's why I skipped it over.
I was like, you know, what do we,
do I really need to go in on somebody
because of how they sneeze?
Yes.
But yeah, I guess I do.
I don't believe your stupid fake sneeze, okay?
I don't believe it at all. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, It sound like she was, you know, auditioning to be in spirited away or something.
So now let's go back to LA.
Um, Gigi, look, I know that Gigi can't stab anybody or pee on drugs every episode because
she's like, got this pregnancy storyline thing.
Did somebody give her a Bravo handbook on like what scenes
you could do on bravo and she's just doing them all in one shot. She's going to the
pottery place. She's going to the cooking class. She's going to what's the next one she does?
It's another total bravo setup. There's cat cafe. I mean, I'm trying to think what else
there is in terms of like dumb active acts throwing will be next week
I'm sure yeah, no one wax your vagina or not happening this season. Yeah throwing footballs at bowling pins
Trying to think of what other cryo chamber. I mean anything. Do I need to you know make a stronger list for you?
Go yoga. Go yoga will definitely be next week.
Um, regular yoga, Pilates yoga.
Anything that could be mixed with yoga, ice cream yoga.
Yeah, she's doing all the bravacines this week.
So this one is, uh, is pottery, pottery, uh, with gasmean.
Yeah.
Pottery and she's going to paint a mom cup because she's going to be a mom.
I know.
They're at, like, it's bad enough that they're at one of these pottery places,
but they're at like an off brand color me mine.
I'm like, you can't even go to the real color me mine, really.
So Yasmeen is there, she's barely tolerating this.
She's like, I have known GG for so long,
and I have wanted to be a friend of for so many years,
and this is what I have to sit through.
Pottery scenes.
Yeah, and so they talk about her, you know, oh, you're going to be so much
warning you're now that you're pregnant, right? She's just like, yeah, can I get
laid while I'm pregnant? I really want to get laid while I'm pregnant. Like, maybe
I could go to like one of those, I don't know, like open relationship type
places where they, you know, maybe I can find someone to like have sex with a
pregnant lady or something. And the girl, girl Yes, means like do you mean like a prostitute or
Yeah, so prostitute you want a prostitute basically me well
There's like children at the next table. We know this because one of them walks by and the G's like oh my god
All that whining I can't hear you over this whining kid and Yasmeen's like
What do you think it's gonna be like when you have a baby?
She's like, my baby won't whine.
I'm like, your baby will do nothing but wine.
You wine.
You literally wine all the time.
I say this is a little wine.
You're living right now.
Yeah.
Our baby will like stab people.
Yeah.
We'll stab and then whine about them.
Yeah.
So you know you're listening to your mother outside
with the baby.
Yeah.
Let's be honest. I honestly don't really remember anything from the scene because I spent the entire time watching them paint the mugs
Because I was watching to see what they were doing. I want to see their artistic choices and at first
GGs was looked a little weird, but in the end it looked like it was going to a really good place
And then they didn't even show us how the mugs turned out. I was like, we don't get to see what happens. This is stupid.
Yeah, I was an invested in the mugs.
I was like, wow, so this is why they got moved to Friday.
Like, okay, now I see.
Because last week we were like, why would they move shots to Friday
when shots is having one of its strongest.
Oh, okay.
This is, they saw this.
They're like, oh, you have a color of my mind scene
and not even have a color of my mind scene and not even out of color of my mind
Wow a phone is fading a mom bug get the show off
So now we go back to that awful tea room and
Resa gets like a whole like tower of tea cookies. Thank you. And then
So destiny and Sam show up. I'm like Sam. Why is Sam here?
So Destiny and Sam show up. I'm like Sam why is Sam here? This is supposed to be a breakfast for the mom Why is Destiny not shoot Sam away? What is happening here?
So Destiny can have a wacky. Oh my gosh my mom saw the guy
And also TV yeah Sam just sees a TV camera. He's like, uh, hello
I'm not here right now, but if you'd leave me a message
I will call you for China back as soon as I can
So they sit down and resa's like so I see that you destiny are wearing a new outfit
But Sam you're in the same outfit
Wow, it looks like something happened. So tell me do you live here? What's going on? Do you live in this hotel? Where's life?
Do you guys have sex? How is the sex? Did you get seen in everywhere? Tell me everything.
I'm, uh, Ressa tells us, Persian moms don't like dealing with the daughter's tricks.
It's a sonhood of in the Persian culture, unlike every other mom from every other culture who just loves meeting the guy that just fucked her daughter.
Yes, seriously.
That is so person.
Sam's like, so when your mom comes, what do I say?
Destiny's like, nothing, you're not gonna be here.
You should not even be here anymore.
Anyway, why are you still here?
Why are you in this already terrible tea room?
We're ruining it with yourself.
Yeah. So of course, Destiny's mom's there. She's there early,
shocker. So she comes in and Sam gets up and he's like,
I should go actually, but he says high and kisses her and introduces himself.
And does the play?
Yeah, so they Sam is still lurking in the back. I guess he's waiting for the elevator or something, but at first it just looks like he's standing there at the hostess stand like yeah
Are the cameras gonna follow me or he's like debating whether or not he should go back and take a cookie from the tower. He's like oh shit
I didn't actually get any free food out of this so I actually I would love to sit at a table without any like coverage. That looks really fun for me.
So stay here.
Is it possible for me to be seated at a table where I can't put my feet under.
And then I forget.
And then when I go to move my feet, I bang the table and knock all the drinks off of it.
That'd be great.
Thanks.
And rest is like, Oh my God.
See my friend being into somebody is so exciting.
Sorry, sorry. Just because Razz is so full of it. So full, like, oh, like, now he's gonna act like he's just so happy for her when like two weeks ago
he was just saying the worst things about her, please. Yeah. Um, so he's kind of blowing up her spot, but Justin is being really obvious too.
You know, the mom's like, alright, who was he?
Yeah, the mom's never heard of anybody who's Justin is bound before you know.
You know the mom has been on the phone for hours about shit like this.
She's like, alright, just tell me.
Exactly.
Reson's like, so Justin, who was that man?
Tell us who was he?
How do you know him?
Am I still going to give him a hard time?
I have some motherfucking loot.
Is that so Persian? White boys be like, whatever.
I'm not going to say anything in front of your mother, but that's not how we do it.
Here's the big question. What does Destiny do now?
I know we talked about this a few weeks ago, and I said she was in party planning, right?
Yeah. But then this scene
He's like well, it's he tells destiny in the mom it goes. It's so cute. You're leaking up when you're here
Like yeah, it's her mom. Yeah, that is like yeah, but you know
They're trying to make me move out here. They keep sending me pictures of loft and he's like, oh, but then you'll end up
Back in the in the nighttime industry
I was like what so did she quit that what I And he's like, oh, but then you'll end up back in the nighttime industry.
I was like, what?
So did she quit that?
My take on the mysterious world of destiny is that she was working in night life, probably
in like clubs, maybe promoting things like that.
And now she's in event planning, which is slightly different, I guess.
So that's my take on a very uninteresting facet
of Destiny's life, but I think that's what it is.
By the way, also, can we talk about the fact
that the mom totally wants to know about the guy.
She was like, so what happened?
What's going on?
She was like, and then, and then, and then,
as Destiny's trying to shut this conversation down,
the mom is totally invested.
She wants to hear all the stories
about her daughter had sex.
Yeah, we played golf and farts like just say it
yeah I think the mom probably would have been more disgusted by the fact that
they went to top golf and that that her daughter had a one-night stand she's
like I don't care about one night stand but top golf
top-time yeah have some class I raised you better so then I can probably oh
sorry go ahead no never mind I was good I was like should I Also, Mike and Pauline, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, never mind.
I was like, should I rant about this?
And I said, you know what?
No, this is a stupid thing to rant about.
So I'm going to reject that rant, moving on.
Rejected.
Yeah.
So Mike and Pauline, they are going to meet Barry, who's
the project manager that Mike wants, even though his dad doesn't want it,
because he wants to be able to boss around the guy
and not have the dad control everything.
Yeah.
Sounds just like a great idea, guys.
This Miller's, well-idea, giving him
a multi-million dollar project.
How fun.
Yeah, for someone who allegedly has a huge penis,
he really acts like he has a tiny one.
And I don't mean to pin a shame,
but I do mean to pin a shame Mike specifically
in this situation, but generally generally I do not do that.
Anyway, they parked their car and then Mike goes,
I love you, Mike, you just parked a car, relax.
It's not like, you didn't just take off in a plane, okay?
You literally parked your giant G-Wagon.
I mean, we should be celebrating that you didn't take off
like anyone's mirrors in the process, but like,
yeah, truth, you just parked the car. I love you.
So it's like, I have a lot of pressure on me. Shut up, Mike. You were just handed bags of money
for having no skills. Okay, please start talking about how hard your life is.
So it's like, this is the first major test that my parents are watching to see.
Is Mike going to pass with an A or is he going to fail with an F?
Maybe the parents should have been watching the tests like starting around age 9 or 10.
Okay, because now we're in this situation.
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So, they go look at these apartments because this is what Barry built with his company,
and they're hideous.
And Paulina just keeps walking in and going,
LOOOOOVE THAT!
LOOOOOVE THE DOOR!
LOOOOOVE THE DOOR!
Wow!
Look at the floors!
That's right! The floors were my the door and I also love that.
The floors were my issue.
I did not love the floors.
I don't really remember.
It was just, you know, it was like a standard generic
apartment building.
It looked reasonably well built.
It was fine.
But the contractor, he has like a big thing, big book,
whatever, his proposal.
And long story short, he's like,
you know, I estimate that this project would be
eight, eight and a half million.
And Mike's like, but I thought the project should cost
six and a half to seven and a half million.
Like, well, of course you did, Mike,
because you're Mike, and you don't know
how any of this stuff works.
I was like, but it's big, it's a big project.
It's gonna take like 24 months. And Mike's like, 24 months. We're two's a big project. It's going to take like 24 months. It's like,
oh, 24 months. We're two years into this already. Why not 18 months? I thought it would take 18 months.
Like, well, that's not how it works. Maybe you should have researched this before you got into
the situation, Mike. I mean, tell us the difference between a two year period and eight months and 18 months, that's a lot. That's like six months. Yes.
Because that's multiple six figures.
So by the way, people moving into this building just know that the building's owner is going
to be squeezing every penny.
He's going to be making shortcuts in the budget so we can get it into the six and a half
to seven half million range that he promised his family and he's going to be making it a
rush job. So looking forward to that piece of shit building
So then Adam is walking around his hotel room fully dressed with a robot top
Thank you. Thank you. I
Wetter gay. I think he's like a little chilly in here and there is a rope
Thank you because I almost was like oh should I make fun of him for this? Is this just like so petty to make fun of the fact
that he's fully dressed but has a bathroom on too?
And I was like, I'm just gonna write it down
in case it has to be brought up, but you brought it up.
Thank you, Ronnie.
So stupid, like a stupid outfit, choose one, okay?
Because now, people are gonna think,
oh, this wasn't worn and then now someone has to have
your Costco smell on it, you know gross
So Sarah comes over and Ressa's like it has been so action packed
The launch went well and then we went to talk golf. We are so happy you are here and you brought your brother
Look, why are you updating everybody?
She's on the show she knows what's been happening. She barely tolerates you
So Ressa's telling Sara about how Destiny brought Sam to brunch and you know
Sara is so disgusted by this and she's just as snotty in the best way she
goes um does Destiny act like this typically cuz you know she's dead inside
completely closed up she's like a raw piece of chicken just sitting on a counter with a fly on it, but the chicken
doesn't even feel it because it's dead.
But I don't even know this Destiny, that's why it's so exciting.
See, I'm making myself somehow sound like a good friend, even though I'm really telling
everyone how so Liz Destiny is.
Yeah, well trying to get you to hate her
So then destiny is talking to her mom alone and
She's like, oh my god mom link when you were living in a lane Like I never saw you and then like no, they're not there. They don't live regret anything you're because they're not there
Mom's like, okay, go back to Topgoth, I'm going home.
So then, back with Sara, she's like, what kind of guys does Destiny date?
Because he's really young and she's supposed to be this strong person woman.
So...
And Ressa's like, well, I mean, have you ever had too many cocktails?
I mean, if I were single and your brother were gay and I weren't with Adam,
sorry Adam, no disrespect but see you see this bathtub situation.
I mean, who knows what would happen.
I mean, I just love terrible highlights and 80 clock shadow.
Yeah, I mean, I totally get it.
Like, he's already got 19 pictures of my dad, so...
Hello!
Sorry, I mean... I haven't invited him to naked jenga I mean who invites people to naked jenga that
game takes like five hours right right
um so then resist like uh basically resist like you know she's got this thing in her head
like I miss wrong woman and ain't nobody going to control me Ain't no mountain high enough ain't no valley low enough ain't I forget it, but I don't know women power
Yeah, ain't no mountain high enough to lose 40 pounds am I right?
Mountain lost 40 pounds
So then
Resa keeps going cassara isn't pulling her hair out yet
So he's like could you imagine if you can gained his sister-in-law over this?
Hahaha, could you imagine Destiny? Destiny is spelled with an EY. Could be your sister-in-law.
Wow, family, I always said we're a family, but now you really will be a family.
Sure, yeah, I don't want to talk about this. I'm too hungover for this.
And he's like, well, we saw we came we saw your brother conquered
Well, that's this normal day. He fucks everything seriously. Don't touch any of the knobs
So then me while destiny needs a reason to cry so she's talking with her mom and she's saying and
She's telling her mom why she doesn't date and she goes
talking with her mom and she's saying and she's telling her mom why she doesn't date and she goes, no mom it's safer it's safer for me not to let anyone in so
I won't get hurt I don't want to get hurt mom I don't I don't want to get hurt mom
it's safer it's safer it's safer her mom's like don't be scared it's okay no
it's safer it's safer my who's knocking on your door, Destiny? What's this all?
Were these hordes of men that you're turning away?
So then let's go see Nima speaking of desperation.
Let's go see Nina at a dance class.
So we can learn Persian dancing.
Yeah.
So, like, I've been working on my personal brand a lot and it turns out that I am not very
good at Persian dancing. So I decided that I would
check in on social and see what would be the best thing for me to do. And it turns out the
synergies all point me towards Emma, a dancing instructor. I can't do the Iranian neck thing.
You know Persian dancing gives me anxiety because my death stole the Persianity for my childhood.
It's like, did you just say that?
Yeah.
He took the Persianity.
So Destiny shows up also.
You stole the Persianity from my childhood.
Stop the Persianity.
So Destiny joins.
I'm like debating whether or not I'm gonna sneeze right now
and I feel like that's such an adequate
emotional response to the Shah's it's like
Like on this razor's edge of
like Happiness but also
Like strange tingles
You know there's just gonna be snot everywhere in these seconds. Yeah, don't I keep this not inside or outside?
So then destiny shows up and then they're like dancing and
Neema's issue is he doesn't know how to lean in it seems to me I'm not a great dancer, but that seems to me probably the easiest part
of the dance.
Like literally you lean forward.
Neema needs to just get a life.
I don't need to feed Neema every dance class.
Like get something going on.
Please start.
You're on television.
At least fake a storyline like everybody else.
You need to learn to dance to get back at your father.
Come on Neema.
Well, I'm a very good dancer. I am like everybody else. You need to learn to dance to get back at your father. Come on, Neema.
Well, I'm a very good dancer.
I'm just not a very good Persian dancer.
So anyway, brands, am I right?
And I'm almost like, well, you know, lean into it.
What's your drink?
They're like, Rosé, she goes, okay, pretend you see some Rosé.
I'm like, who is this dance teacher?
Well, she's probably been there for three hours
and he still doesn't know how to move like his clavicle forward
and she's just trying anything at this point.
So then back with Adam.
Adam is meeting Gigi at coffee and cats.
I feel like coffee and cats is built for people like Adam.
Look, it's coffee and cats.
Yes, but also, I know I've wanted to go
that stupid little cat cafe for like two years.
So I'm not gonna act like I'm above it.
I really wanna go.
Mm-hmm, I'm above it.
Yeah.
So Adam's like,
Yeah, I have an ice almond milk latte.
I just write down everything Adam says
because it cracks me up.
Like why is that such a thing to make fun of?
But it's Adam.
So it's like, of course you're having an almond milk latte.
Which I just drink up milk.
Okay.
So sir, before you see the cats, we do have to request that you take off that bathroom.
Thank you.
So they're talking about why she didn't come to Vegas and Gigi won't tell that she's just
got implanted with baby Gigi.
And Adam's like, well, it was business and it was pleasure.
It was fun because we went to Topgolf, which was hilarious because there wasn't a top
in the room.
Well, except for Sam, who looked up with Destiny, like he's like he looks like
Sarah but like with Justin Bieber hair from the 90s So we dinner and then we go to the golf range and then I saw a robe and I was like I want to wear that row
But I don't want to be in my own these because there's cameras in there. I don't know
So we look over our shoulders and destiny was straddling Sam and I thought I should just put that robe over my jeans
I get home so I did I just just wanna be straddled by a robe
the way Destiny straddled Sam.
So GG just spits out her coffee or pretends to.
And GG's like, wow, Destiny,
she really is about that life.
I'm like, what?
I don't understand.
What's, she hold you up with someone.
So what, who gets?
Yeah, so what, who cares?
Like everyone on this show isn't fucking all the time
Why is it such a big deal? I mean destiny's not my favorite this year, but I don't get I get that Gigi's like got her in her sights
For whatever reason like she's gonna be coming for her now. Yeah, but come on. It's your Gigi
Yeah, get over it. So now back at the dance studio. So Neema is like
Talking with destiny is like talking with Destiny.
He's like, so I heard about Vegas.
I was checking in on Brands Quarterly.
And there was a side bar that Topgolf has filed for bankruptcy after a group of awful people showed up.
Was that you guys?
Also, did you hook up with someone?
Did you hook up with Destiny?
I'd like to know.
It's like, like Sarah's brother.
And then she shoemey pouts.
And she's like, yeah, since I've been back,
he's been calling, texting, TV.
Mm-hmm, exactly.
TV.
He's like, was that a dick pick?
Wow, you just shown me a dick pick.
She's like, no, actually, that was just one of the cookies
at that awful tea room we went to.
Sorry.
So then Adam is straddling GG to show her the straddle move.
And he's like, I saw where I saw where I saw I did not
seem too happy about it either.
Yeah.
And she's like, well, Neema back with Neema, he's like,
did you talk to Sarah? And she's like, oh,
I it's not like a field trip that I need to get a permission slept to go on. Okay.
Mm-hmm. So we know that's gonna be a big issue. It's a big drama.
Yeah, and Gigi's like, well, she's definitely supposed to be about writing for other girls, and this is not writing for other girls.
I'm Adam's like, it's just writing. Nailed it. Yeah.
Yeah. And Gigi's like 2019 Destiny is all sorts of brand new. I mean she's totally different or
maybe this is the real destiny and she couldn't keep up the front anymore. I'm like Gigi, you if you
we sat through you with Omed. Okay. Like don't act like you haven't gone after a hot piece of ass before and you wouldn't ask quite you wouldn't like ask
Sarah's permission if you wanted if you wanted the bang Sam you to bang Sam and been like I don't have to ask Sarah
She's new you totally would have yeah, I think that's why she doesn't like it because that would normally be her story of I'm yeah jealous
So Neemick gets a text and he's like,
oh my god, look at this text.
Hey Neem, it's Paulina.
If you're available to get coffee, let me know.
Well, listen, the last correspondence I had with Mike
was me kicking him out of my house.
I'm a little shocked that she reached out.
Maybe she can broker some kind of peace agreement
between my teeth and the sunlight. Yeah.
And destiny thinks the reason why Paulina wants to get lunch is because she thinks that
Mike, since Mike is really vulnerable around Paulina, that he's able to say things to her
that he can't say to Nima. So Paulina probably just wants to smooth things over between the two of them.
I'm like, uh, don't think that's why they're meeting.
I think it's, yeah, that's an idiotic theory. Yeah. I think it's because Mike brewed up shit between the two of them. I'm like, uh, don't think that's why they're meeting. I think it's yeah, that's an idiotic theory. Yeah, I think it's because Mike brewed up shit between the
two of them and now they're angry at each other. And then Neema meets her at meets Paulina
at Marmalade Cafe, which is not a good sign for Marmalade. No, it really isn't. Um, but
it makes sense because, uh, they have aggressively bland sandwiches there and that sort of just like works with Paulina's personality
I think. But that's like a staple. You can't just go ruin the Marmalade Cafe. Now it's gonna close. It's gonna have the shot's curse
I know, but yeah
I just I went there once like 15 years ago and had truly the worst tuna sandwich in my life
It like imagine eating a tuna sandwich had no flavor. Just zero flavor. Like you just were eating paper or something,
but it was the texture of tuna salad.
It was, to this day, it just traumatized me
and that's what I think of.
Well, now I'm only gonna think of these two.
I'm gonna go there.
Paula, Alina being like,
Thank you.
I'm thinking we're coming out.
Oh, you're seeing us here? Thank you. Thank you. I'm thinking for coming out. Oh, you're seeing us here. Thank you. Thank you
So Mike doesn't know when we're meeting and
So here's the thing Mike looks at you like a younger brother and he feels like he's being attacked and like
He's being called a cheater and like a liar and just because he cheated in light and like you know
You like talked about my kids and how it was crazy that I would allow him to be around my kids.
And I was just like really offended me.
Well, here's the backstory.
Here's what he said to me.
I'm like snap.
You know what?
He said that like that girl must have something wrong with her to still be an amie.
So I snapped and then like look, I shouldn't have brought it into you and for that I'm sorry. Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You know there's like a history of Mike bullying me a little bit like and when the older brother
bullies the little brother everyone knows that brand is in trouble.
Cut to clip of Mike going, Neema is not good at anything but a reach around.
Yeah. But then we get to the real crux of it, which we didn't hear, which is that Mike has been
trying to steal business things.
And so at the mud run that they went on a few weeks ago, Mike actually accused Neema of
stealing his idea for, so Mike's like, hey guys, I have this wonderful idea.
I'm going to do makeup for men.
So in addition to construction and baby shoes,
I'm also gonna do makeup for men.
Really coherent brand that I have here.
And Nima was like, actually, that's something
that we were doing or something like that.
And Mike was basically,
I brought you in on this bro.
I mean, like no, it was my fucking idea bro.
Mine.
No, which is fair. Absolutely not.
So then Neema tells us that he's like, Mike tried to fuck me out of a business deal,
and he also tried to fuck sure about a business deal, and then he lied about it.
And then we see flashback to Neema with Sherman and Neema's like, so Mike is acting like this idea was like that.
He called me up and said yo we have to get
shurvin out of this company and shurvin's like that's so funny because he called me up
and said we have to get you out of the y'all so fucking Mike shocker and so nema's like
at what point do I second guess whether it's like if his feelings are real or not, you know, and Pauline's like,
um, that's crazy.
Because I'm seeing Mike in dad mode and in business mode and I'm like in awe.
So I hear this and I think who Mike?
Like, yes, Pauline.
Yes.
You know what?
You only seen them those modes.
Do you not have Hulu?
Watch the fucking show, lady.
It's law right there.
And he was like, well, if my can't apologize,
the way I'm apologizing to you,
then I don't see how our friendship brand
can continue on this way at all.
Well, I don't know.
I think, yeah.
I'm guessing, man.
I'm guessing, man.
I'm guessing, man.
So then Gigi and her friends show up
in the third Bravo set of the episode.
A baking place.
A baking class place.
They're gonna have a cooking competition.
I was convinced that Resa was gonna start a food fight.
Like I thought he was gonna have a wacky moment of,
hey, watch this, I'm gonna throw Hommies right in Mike's face but it didn't happen
I was a little surprised and then gg tells us that she's gonna be picking everybody's teams and she's
like yeah you know resa resa super competitive and me and him against each other it's gonna be
dangerous and then her theme for the season why not just combine our power. Yeah, exactly. So it's gonna be three teams of three,
and Nima is on a team with my, Nima's like,
it's okay if we have no culinary experience whatsoever, right?
I'm like Nima, what experience do you have?
Like I can't dance, I can't cook, I can't tie my shoe,
I can't, it's like everything, he's like,
this is crazy, I don't even know how to do this.
Erica, can you help me out?
My dad took the culinary experience away from me in childhood.
So.
So then Mike and Paulina are in the car on the way over and say,
I'm turning and I'm like, oh, really?
Really? Really?
Oh, really?
Huh? Really? Wow.
Okay. Really? Wow.
Wow. Okay. Okay.
You drop a bomb, huh?
Okay. Wow. Okay. Oh, tell me me more Paulina. Okay, tell me more
And she goes he goes you texted him and you saw him. Oh, okay, then drop a bomb then drop a bomb
Just me and one she goes, oh, okay, so you didn't go to his house
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, wow, wow, okay, okay, wow, wow, wow, and then he goes
Neema meeting up with my girlfriend is a huge slap in the face, okay, huge Are you trying to make me look stupid? I'm like, mmm, wow. And then he goes, Nima, meeting up with my girlfriend, is a huge slap in the face, okay?
Huge, are you trying to make me look stupid?
I'm like, mm, I think Nima really doesn't have to do that.
It's like really just does it on,
works on, happens on its own.
Your mic.
So I'm pulling this like,
well, he's only a painless groom
out of some makeup line or something.
He's like, oh, well, you know what?
Here's what I ask, you know?
I know that you were coming from a good place
when you went to talk to him, but listen,
these guys can be pools, okay?
So next time, you talk to me first, okay?
You talk to me.
And he's all pissed and looking out the window
and his guy makeup is so bad, by the way.
I keep showing closeups of his face
where he's wearing this guy makeup.
Yikes.
Yeah, seriously.
So now a cooking class,
it's time to make a Persian yogurt dip. And was it Adam that put turmeric in his and it's like
yellow and and everyone was like, you the yellow, that's crazy. Yeah, I don't
know why. Just like licking his he's licking his spatula and putting it back in
yeah. And rest is like, there is no yellow. The color of the moon is just
quality. Of course, to be Adam, that would like ruin a classic recipe with his own twist.
But although they think they wound up actually winning. So who knows? I mean, there's nothing
wrong with turmeric. I just hate the idea of Adam making it, putting turmeric in there.
Yeah. And then the chef tells them something no one from this cast has ever heard times up and then rest
They have to like announce her dishes or whatever and he wants a first round who cares?
Sometimes I'm like why am I writing this? Yeah, well either way
Mike what I actually wrote down the winners was Adam Yasmeen and destiny
So now they have to make hummus and then Mike and Paulina arrived and rises like I have good news
So now they have to make a promise and then Mike and Paulina arrived and res us like I have good news
Had bad news and also some exciting news a bitch lost 40 pounds
Anyway, the bad good news is that
Paulina is on our team and the bad news is that you're on Nima's team have fun with that
And then you they told me ma are you scared of him? Do you want me to be in the middle? So, Rens is like, we're a team hood rat. And he goes, okay, we'll be team company
stealer. And Mike goes, they say, make fun of yourself before somebody else does. Well,
he must be king of that. What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know.
Because actually that's called self-deprecation,
and it's a good quality.
Yeah.
And he was actually making fun of you, in that case, by the way.
Just kidding.
Yes.
Yes, they're bad.
So then there's like antics, antics, antics,
Gigi steals some garbanzo beanings, then there's also
some cheese there, hums, and Mike.
So here's the thing where I got to know it.
I guess Mike messed up the hummus somehow because you know that he probably
is like listen I know how to do this okay I know I'm gonna I'm gonna do Mike's hummus alright
so here's what we got to do.
The heeny butter just mix them together that's it that's it that's it that's it.
Nobody call my dad because he's gonna want to do it his way.
Okay.
So then, Resa's team wins.
And of course, Resa wins, how Resa wins.
Oh, yes, suck it, suck it, stupid Resa wins, team who runs.
Yeah.
So Mike's like, so Vegas, you saw your mom destiny
and Resa goes, yeah, and then he fucks her,
then she fucks her
Sarah's brother okay
Such a supportive friend, you know
So Destiny hasn't spoken to Sarah yet at all and
Grilling her Gigi's like did you speak to her and she's like no if she wants to have a conversation
That's fine, but she goes, but how would she know if you haven't spoken to her?
She's like, well, she was there.
Oh, really?
She was there.
What you were fucking in?
Hell is wrong with you, lady.
I know.
Does she?
I don't need anyone's permission.
I'm living my life and that's it.
And then she goes, well, I have us.
I have like a sensitive relationship with my sister.
So I just don't find this humorous
to everyone's joking about it.
What are you talking about?
This has nothing to do with your sister.
You tried to kill your sister.
Do you not remember pulling an eye
for your own fucking sister?
What are you even talking about?
One of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me
was going to a sleepover and someone put into
the DVD player,
sister act.
And I said, this is not funny.
We don't make fun of these things.
Okay, it's not funny.
I have fucking Gigi.
So she's like, I'm tired, I'm gonna go.
She throws like a deep of it and leaves.
Yeah, but then she says that she,
then she says that she has like a sharp pain,
so she's afraid of having a miscarriage,
so she just like disappears and rises like,
GIGGE! She has like a sharp pain so she's afraid of having a miscarriage so she just like disappears and rises like Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stomach stuff and Michael's did she touch the chicken? Did you touch maybe she got some vanilla? Maybe she got some vanilla?
And then we got well speaking of touching things that she touched the alcohol
That's just like oh my god is she pregnant?
So yeah, now they have all figured it out. He's because basically Nima's
Well, they figured it out. So then Nima starts telling Mike. He's like by the way
Nima's uh, well they figured it out. So then Nima starts telling Mike. He's like, by the way
Welcome to this brand summit. I'd like to
synergize some emotional thoughts with you right now
I did have lunch with Paulina and I thought you should know Mike because I thought that you knew but I don't think you knew
And Mike's like Mike's basically like I think there's a problem here. Okay. There's a problem here that you take her to out to lunch
He's she approached me. She approached me, Mike?
Yeah, but there's a guy code.
There's a guy code.
There's a guy code and you broke it.
And he's like, oh, well, why don't you have a problem
with her than Mike?
Why don't you have a problem with her, Mike?
Ah, Mike's like, I wanna talk about my problems with her
with her, how about that?
And then he goes, oh, be careful, girl.
Be careful, he's got a problem with you.
Hey, you know what, let me help you help you here okay your dad didn't teach you these
things okay like it's oh don't you talk about my dad don't you talk about my
fucking dad I'm being tough right now everyone I'm expanding my brand thank you
thank you let me stand up and he's slamming the table he's like you there will
not be a third time mister yeah he's like there's a lot of things I could ask
about how your parents raised you you know know, well, he said that to us, you know, which by the way, is a very fair
point.
And Mike's like, somebody needs to teach you how to be a man, because as you know, being
a man, it means starting five different businesses, okay?
It means banging a lot of girls, it means cheating and lying, and then getting mad when
people say you're a cheater and liar.
That's what it means.
And then after you're just a total smok to everyone, you go to dinner with your friends
and you stand up and make toast as if you're a rabbi. That's what being a man
is. And that's just like, you guys need to learn a
communication properly. I'm telling you if you talk about my dad again, there will be
a number three. And Mike's like, oh, there he is. There he is. I'm so scared. And Mike tells
us, what have I done to him? I took him under my wing and I helped him. And he can stand the fact that me and Paulina
have a great relationship.
So he's trying to make us miserable
so we can join this pity party.
Mike, what did you do for me, Mike?
Yeah, what was that?
Could you name it?
Could you name one example?
I like Mike saying, oh, don't be so dramatic.
You're the one who's freaking out
that he went to Marmalade Cafe in the middle of the day
with Paulina to talk about
you, basically.
Yeah.
Oh, I like that.
Oh, shars.
Oh, and that was basically episode.
Fun times.
There it is.
Fun times.
Yeah, it did.
So, I hope we will see a bunch of you guys next week
in Salt Lake City.
Until then, we'll be back on Wednesday with Vannabrum Brewell's recap and of course
to keep an eye out for our bonus episode where we're talking family karma. Have a wonderful
day everyone. Bye! on music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with
Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by
completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.