Watch What Crappens - Slade's Standup, Top Chef Finale and Kim Z's Show

Episode Date: March 1, 2012

Slade's Standup, Top Chef Finale and Kim Z's ShowSee acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by Gamefly. Go to Gamefly.com slash haha for your free 15-day trial. Hey everybody, welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast.

I'm Ronnie Karam. I write under the name FlipIt over at TVgasm.com. And I'm here today with Matt Whitfield, who is the features editor at Yahoo Entertainment. Hello, Matt. Hi, Ronnie. And also joining us today is Jamie Burt Shelley, who is Honey Gangsta over at TVgasm.com and writes our Real Housewives of Orange County recaps. Honey Gangsta!

What's up? So first off, this whole podcast just bitches about Bravo shows, so we're glad you're with us, and we're sad to say that our partner B-Side is not here today. He's in Paris being romantic and single. Yeah, but we're not crying for that bitch. Yeah, we're not crying for that bitch. You can't cry for anybody when they go to Paris, right? No. Okay, so let's start with Real Housewives of Orange County. Because someone needs to put a stop to these crazy bitches.

How do they do it where there are three episodes in and they're already such disgusting human beings that even I want to turn it off? That's the funny thing. With other franchises under the Real Housewives banner, there's actually at least one person I like, but I don't think that exists on Orange County. Yeah, it's almost like you have to wait to see

who's going to get kicked in the head the most so you know who to feel bad for, because their brain is bleeding all over the sidewalk, you know? Like, that's the only reason to feel bad for these people. I started off liking Tamara and Vicky because I just did a crash course before the season started, and every time I see Vicky, I like her less and less and less. And Tamara...

Because she's horrible. She's the worst incident in all of Housewives history. She is. I don't know why I found her endearing before, because I watched a lot of episodes. I don't know what happened. But endearing before, because I watched a lot of episodes. I don't know what happened, but yeah, watching this season, I'm like, eh. Well, as far as sociopathic, narcissistic personalities go, she's not so bad. I just wish she'd concentrate on things like not wearing fake fur, you know, like on this episode.

All I could think was, that's really not thinning, you know? I have a really good friend who went to the Gap with me one time, and I really wanted was, that's really not thinning, you know? I have a really good friend who went to the Gap with me one time, and I really wanted to buy one of those down vests because everybody was wearing them. But I'm fat, you know? I can't wear a down vest. And secretly, I knew it.

But this guy, I wanted to anyway, you know? And he was like, you know, Ronnie, I really like you, but that is not thinning. And I feel blessed because Vicky does not have that. Well, Vicky doesn't have any real friends. That's what I'm saying. That's why she's horrible. She has nobody to just hug her and say, you know what?

Being fat isn't a death sentence. Go to a Chubby Chaser website. You know, there's like a lot of things you can do. Go to Weight Watchers meetings. Do they have that in Orange County? I'm sure they do. They're all so skinny there.

Well, they only have terrible restaurants there, according to Alexis. That's right. Only terrible restaurants that hand you the menu open. How dare they? So this week we started with the big controversy so far from last week. It was brought up again at the very beginning, which was the whole blowjob thing. And newbie Heather saying, oh, honey, when you're married, you don't have to give blowjobs anymore. And Alexis cracking, well, let's see you in 10 years and see if you're still married.

Which started a whole rift with Heather. Okay, can we just talk about that lunch that they had, that sushi lunch? Yes, please. Okay, well, it was not really to have lunch. It was so that Heather could sit across from Alexis and judge her, make her feel judged. And I don't know, just Ronnie,

I can't deal with the fact that you like Heather. She bothers me more than Alexis, which is saying a hell of a lot. Well, I was raised by a very difficult, snotty woman who judged me constantly. And that was her way of loving me. So when I watch Heather, I feel like I'm being hugged drunkenly by the TV. Oh, my god. I love when people are like, Heather, they're just so fucked up, but they're

the only ones that don't seem to know it. They think if they have a lot of money and they act really snotty that they're not fucked up, but that makes them even more fucked up. You have to sleep with that old dude who makes cat skills humor jokes probably in bed. Right. You gotta have some pity for that woman. she doesn't give him blow jobs because they're married now well you know

she could use the jaw work she's a little round she's a little roundish there but yeah that lunch was great and i this is another reason i love Heather. This lunch is a perfect example. We all know as the audience that Heather is there to hate on Alexis, right? But Alexis has no idea. Right, right, right. So Alexis is going to wait to see what Alexis, I mean, Alexis is going to wait to see what Heather orders. So the waiter comes over and asks what they want. And Heather's like, I'll have a Diet Coke.

And then Alexis is like, I'll have, I guess, an iced tea. And then Heather's like, oh, and some cold sake. Is that okay, dear? Like, she's just going to wait to see if she'll have the balls to order a glass of wine at lunch and be an alcoholic. You know? I love that kind of a person. They're just so judgmental and wrong all the time. Sounds like Ben.

Oh, Snapple. You're lucky they don't have iTunes in Paris. Which I'm sure is totally false. I love how Alexis is like, well, we're really quite similar. And then she goes, Heather, she's like, similar?

I don't think so. She is so uptight. I just really, like, she's just awful. She is. But you have to love when alexis is like oh i'm a news anchor news anchor that was so funny okay i will say she she did jump a little far by considering herself you know a news anchor but i do have to agree with alexis every time

she's like um excuse me heather now plays the bagpipes she runs a marching band she is an all-star swimmer and she runs an opera like i'm sorry but heather can't do everything that's right heather does do everything stand-up comedy in this episode was that it are we still there are we going now because i almost had to fast forward the tv it was so awkward that was so bad so awkward. That was so bad. So bad. Well, that was so embarrassing, and it's one of the great regrets of my past year of 2011 that I got an email from somebody saying, you have to

come to the Laugh Factory because Gretchen is doing stand-up comedy. And I wrote back, yeah, I would rather poke myself in the eyes with forks. Why wouldn't I have gone? Like, what an rather poke myself in the eyes with forks. Why wouldn't I have gone? Like, what an idiot. Why wouldn't I have gone to that?

I'm still not convinced it was the one on Sunset. Yeah, it was. It was the improv, right? Yeah, but it screamed of, like, improv Anaheim. The one in Brea? Yeah, exactly. It was very ha-ha. Well, what I loved about that was that they actually fed gretchen her joke and she still got it wrong well i love the fat schlubby comic who was like writing all their

jokes for them okay why would you hire a poor slobby straight guy to write for you of course he's going to be like show your tits like that Like, that's his comedy writing. He's like, you're an idiot. Show your tits. That'll win him over. Oh, my God. And that's exactly what she did. After she tried, like, three times to tell her opening joke, she finally just took her clothes off.

And, you know, to that guy's credit, she did get applause for that part. Yeah, and I'm sorry. I'm gay, but I would prefer her to take her clothes off than tell jokes. Yes, please do anything but that. And then Slade came on, which was the real big

news of that episode. That was not even comedy. That was such a bitter, horrible, horrible, horrible rant. Ronnie, it's in the news, okay? If it's in the news, it's just the news. He can say the news. It's not his fault. He can say what's on the news. it's just the news. He can say the news. It's not his fault. He can say what's on the news.

Best line. That's what comics do. If she can't handle comedy, that's what... Comedy's tough, all right, babe? I'm like, what the hell are you talking about? Okay, the comic genius of the episode is Slade's mother, who is not having any of it. The dogs were more entertaining than Slade. not having any of it the dogs were more entertaining than slade um and one of the dogs kind of barfed on the couch and she was kind of like pretending that it didn't happen

and like she was trying to you know concentrate on slave but then the vomit it was just weird slade's mom is one of those people that you've got to like because she can admit when she's wrong you know and i think that she understands that slade was her biggest mistake it's just so obvious you know it's like she's apologizing to the audience every time she's on screen no when he said i'm gonna propose to gretchen and her response is no no no don't don't do that to that poor girl how dare you well okay you've worked through your issues she's not calling you chubba wubba anymore he works through their issues

and then he do you remember when Slade was like she goes well what are you going to do with this and he goes well I'm taking it on the road he's going to take this show on the road this is going to travel. How much would you pay to watch that? After this, I think I would pay money.

You would? I don't know. It was just painful to watch because if he was actually attempting jokes, that would be one thing, but that was just nasty. And this is coming from someone who spends his whole life,

my job is making horrible, horrible, tasteless jokes about these women. Right. To me, it was disgusting. But yeah, he wasn't even funny. He was just like, they suck. They're bitches. They're whores. Here's a picture.

And then he started thrusting his crotch, and I was getting turned off. Surprising. What was, I didn't even get that joke. And then he started thrusting his crotch And I was getting turned off Surprisingly I didn't even get that joke He like set it up and did his little crotch firing thing And then I still was just like what? I mean it was an editing nightmare For the poor guys that are working on this show

I think that they were just trying to slap some shit together And call it a storyline Well you know one thing I will say for those editors Is I actually thought they did A very subtle beautiful thing in this episode. When every time they showed Tamara, it was eating something. And she would only eat egg whites over at What's-Her-Buns' Beaverface's house. And then she would only eat a chicken breast when she was on a date.

And Eddie's like, but I love food. At a fondue restaurant. Yeah. Yep. Is there anything without cheese? And the Eddie's like but I love food. At a fondue restaurant. Yeah. Is there anything without cheese? And the guy's like uh no. And Eddie had never been to a fondue restaurant and she took him there on a date. What is she at?

And Eddie's like but I love food babe. She's like I hate it. I hate food. Cut to the comedy show where Slade is showing her all fat and chunky in her bikini cut to alexis not understanding jokes about masturbation but totally getting gretchen's comedy and also best abusive relationship of the housewives series jim and alexis that was brilliant when she's like i don't get it i just I just don't get it. I mean, what's he talking about? I don't get it.

And he goes, just nod. It was so, I mean, that might have been a top ten Housewives moment of all time. Just nod. Shut the hell up, woman. I'm looking over my notes here and trying to remember what else happened on this show. I wrote Slade's all I wrote was Slade's mom, heart, Slade's mom, XO, Slade's mom, and what looks like a happy face. I don't know.

I need to stop smoking while I'm watching these shows. I'm like, I'll remember what that means tomorrow. Let me tell you the only person on this show that I like besides Slade's mother, and that would be Brianna, Vicky's daughter, who hates her. Yes. That was perfect. You can tell that after the divorce

with Don, she's just like, she's just not all about Vicky. She knows that she's dating some crawfish loving hillbilly, and she misses her dad, and I don't blame her. I miss Don, too. Well, he's busy at sex clubs swinging, having public sex, alright?

Father of the year over there. You know, if Don wasn't calling Vicky a dumb bitch on TV, that probably would have lasted a little bit longer. I'm not saying he was wrong. Well, she just wants somebody to love her and tell her that she's a princess. I mean, her expectations are out of control. How do you think this hillbilly

crawfish daddy is going to give her what Don was not giving her? Well, apparently he is right now because she's glowing is she glowing or is she just sweating sweating either way she's working out she's sweating because she's working up a storm in her kitchen because she cannot handle the fact that gretchen and tamra are fake friends and then it sends her into a fucking tizzy yes she almost came out of her skin in that scene and she kept faking about

like calling Alexis and getting together with Alexis and she and Alexis are best friends. Like, that's gonna stick it to Tamara. Well, in her most recent interviews, Tamara's been saying that Vicky's a hypocrite and this and that, so it must get pretty ugly this season. So, yay for that! Yay! Sweet! Uh, full

tub comment, show your tits anything with okay yeah everything eating disorders abusive marriages and porn jokes so I think we're done with that we need to get back to the fondue date where Tamara who is never going to get

a hotter piece than Eddie for the rest of her fucking life is pretty much pushing him out the door by saying, I don't know. My children come for, no, your children should not come first when you can have a piece of Eddie. What is she thinking?

You know what else I loved about that is that it's so not true. She's doing that for the cameras and making this big scene like, oh, I care so much about my children. You know, that's bullshit. She's going to move in with him. Doesn't she live with him now?

You know, I mean, give me, I think in with him. Doesn't she live with him now? Yeah, she lives with him now. I think all of this stuff, I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million more. This is all for Twitter people. So Twitter people, don't get all on her and call her a stupid slut who hates her children. But she's not fooling anybody.

I mean, we know that she is the worst mother in the history of America. Well, also, speaking of Brianna, just going But she's not fooling anybody. I mean, we know that she is the worst mother in the history of America. Yes. Well, also, speaking of Brianna, just going back a little bit, you know, I'm all for someone being sick all the time. I'm a complainer. You know, I've had pretty much every disease in the book. I go get STD testing even when I haven't had sex for two years. I'll go every couple of months just for that rush of like, am I dying

of something? Vicky and Brianna, I mean, Brianna literally said, well, you know, I've been I've had something for years and now it's something of cysting on something and a possible cancer on the cyst of the, you know, what a

headache can turn into? It's like if you just let it go. I just feel like Brianna just needs to relax, stay away from her mother, and she'll feel much better. Well, she did move 10 minutes away, thank God. A whole 10 minutes. The problem here, I mean, first of all, it just is very hard for me to watch this because my mother, like Vicky, cannot handle, you know, scary words and reality.

And it's just when it's the C word. Vicky doesn't know what the C word really is. And Ronnie, that was your cue to say something horribly offensive. Well, I thought you were talking about the actual C word. So I was like, how could she possibly not know what that is but then i just then i got what you meant cancer i just i just cannot i vicky is vicky worse than tamra i kind of think she is i think they're also equally horrible they're just so much fun to watch it's like a cartoon that you just can't wait for the anvil to drop on their heads, you know? I love it. I still like Tamra better, because she at least does something funny sometimes.

Vicky never does. She's just a big mess. Yeah, but Tamra's just a fucking mean monster. But she said on the reunion, is your ass jealous of the shit coming out of your mouth? That's right. It's like, so, I still have to give her, like, 50,000 bonus points for that, and I still need to give her like 50,000 bonus points for that and I still need to stay in her corner well you know that she stole that off a bumper sticker

from Gadzooks or whatever what's that joke store in the mall? it's not Gadzooks but it's like that hilarious store where they have a bunch of joke gifts you know she stole that off a bumper sticker but I still love her for saving it up it's way better than Kyle Richards'

ooh you're angry spice like if you're going to plan a line make it a good one a bumper sticker, but I still love her for saving it up. It's way better than Kyle Richards' Ooh, You're Angry Spice. Like, if you're going to plan a line, make it a good one. Or make it one that's not from 1999. Yeah, get thee to a bumper sticker store. All right, so we've had a good chat about that. Let's move on to some Atlanta. Now, Atlanta was technically a repeat this week because it was a tryout for the new Kim spinoff, Kim

and Croy, which I think if your name's Croy, it shouldn't be in the title of a spinoff. It should just be called Kim or something. But anyway. Is Croy C-R-O-I-X? No, that's Croy. Kim and Croy. He is no saint. Okay, carry on.

He does love his tacky shit, though. That's for sure. Like, la quoi. How can you hate a glowing mother with, you know, an array of wigs? How can you hate that? How could you love somebody when she's littering children that are going to be just like her into the world? We do not need more stupid people in this world. Have you been in a crosswalk lately?

I can't believe more people aren't getting hit. Oh, I aim for them. Don't get interested. That's what I'm saying. All you have to do is walk across the damn street to be disgusted by humanity. I don't need any more of Kim's. I drive to work. I drive home.

I watch TV. I go to bed. So, like, I don't have to interact with many people. It's a great life. Well, I'm a smoker, so I have to walk to the store to get cigarettes. And that's when I bump into most of humanity. So my humanity are Whole Foods people, liquor store people, and people that my dog likes to lick while I'm walking. Maybe I'm not the best judge.

Anyway, the point is, Kim has this new show coming out, and so Bravo gave us a nice half hour to an hour. I don't know. I was probably blitzed by the time it was done, because it was painful. Kim is okay in small doses, and maybe every other other scene, but oh no, I don't need that much kim academy is a new

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Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now

by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.

Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Well, do you think the show is actually going to survive? Or, I mean, is she going to be the next Bethany? I highly doubt that. Well, what the hell do I know? Bethany just, like, fucking goes on canoes and goes to lunch all day and talks about being rich. And she's got a show that's lasting, so.

Complains about being rich. Like, we should feel bad for her yeah let's screw kim zolciak let's move on to bethany because you're such a hater i mean i have nothing nice to say about kim and you guys did you watch that one i like kim but i don't need a spin-off there i can't believe i'm saying this but i just i just need a little bit more of her on Hotlanta, and I don't need to see her in her own show. Well, it's like when they spun off Facts of Life but didn't have Mrs. Garrett. I don't want to watch

that show. I don't know who the Mrs. Garrett on Real Housewives of Atlanta would be. Not NeNe. NeNe. Phaedra. Phaedra. I don't want to watch Real Housewives of Atlanta without Phaedra. Do I really even want to watch the Real Housewives of Atlanta anymore? Because as long as Cynthia's there, I want to kill myself.

Come on, that trip to Africa was a beautiful thing. Yeah, especially because they didn't know what apartheid was. That's why. It was so nice to know. And then a gay man with sunglasses on rolled a bag of shells and told Sheree that she was an ugly old hag. Okay, you're right. I'm bringing up all these instances and I'm just reaffirming my love. Yes, it makes me love it even more. I mean, it's so nice to know that black people can be as ignorant about black culture as white people. I think it's called naive.

They visited Africa in their glorious naivete. Oh, you should have seen this. They were walking around with their high heels and their leopard print leggings and their gold. They didn't know what apartheid was? Uh, nope. No.

This should not surprise you. But they did know how to bust a move in seven-inch Louboutins. Well, they know the important thing. Exactly. It's true. I'm sorry, zebra. I'm sorry, you're my carpet.

Sorry. All right, so let's talk about Bethany a little bit. Have you guys been keeping up with Bethany a little bit have you guys been keeping up with Bethany ever after I still love her I don't know why you can punch me in the face next time you see me well I watch it and Honey used to recap it

so I know maybe you don't watch it now huh I've watched the first one I haven't kept up with it I should have but you know I used to like Bethany a lot better. Why does everybody hate on her now that she's rich? That should make you like her more. No, it pisses me off

that she got rich. No. No, I'm just kidding. That's not why. She used to be a lot more light-hearted maybe. She just seems like all her show turned into was just her bitching about how hard she has it.

And I always thought, you know, this is optional. You don't have to do any of this. No, the contract means it's not optional. You don't have to sign the contract over and over and over and over. That show is just so meta. It's about a woman from a reality show

becoming famous from the reality show and getting a reality show about being woman from a reality show becoming famous from the reality show and getting a reality show about being famous from the reality show it's like it's just so much it's like what are you doing today oh my god i've got to be shot by so many different people today i've got so many things i'm so busy i'm sick of being the enemy i'm sick of being the villain i'm going to lunch with this person i'm going to lunch with that person oh my god this apartment's so huge but i hate the closet i hate the back it's like shut the fuck up get a job get a real job lady i'm going to lunch with that person oh my god this apartment's so huge but i hate the closet i hate the back it's like shut the fuck up get a job get a real job lady i'm building an empire here but nobody has a chair you're building an empire please no she sold an empire and now she

should just disappear with all of her money little caesar built an empire okay you know what else i don't get about her is like she has her little baby on the show. She has her whole marriage on the show. She had herself taking her pregnancy test on the show. But then when she and her husband are walking down the street she's like, walk far away from me because I don't want them to get pictures of us together.

I don't get it. They won't print it if we're not together. Well, they keep teasing this really awkward moment. You know, I don't know when we're going to eventually see it. But she's sitting there in her living room talking to Jason. And, you know, he says something and then she cracks a joke. But it's not really a joke where she's like, yeah, well, we don't even really like each other.

And then, like, the record scratches. And then you really think about it. And you're like, yeah, they're getting divorced. Oh. Well, but, you know, you watch this show and they really don't seem to like each other at all. I mean... Well, you know, I'm not going to sit here and defend her all day,

but he is boring as shit. Well, but you know what? When you've got a larger-than-life personality, boring guys are the best option for you. I mean, what is she going to get? Somebody who talks like her all the time? No one would go to dinner with them. Right, that's true.

I mean, like, she doesn't want the competition, clearly, so I think that's why she got, like, a mute for a husband who has, you know, clearly no balls. And she had a prenup, so his ass can't run. Well, do you really think that that's the case? Like, did she have a prenup? Because then Skinny Girl happened, the sale of Skinny Girl happened after their wedding. So does that mean

he's entitled to half of her money? Because I don't think he should get shit. Well, that's probably why she won't move to LA, because this is a no fault state. So he would get half either way. But yeah, she said in therapy, didn't she, that she didn't get a prenup? Or no, that she got a prenup and that he was really upset about it. And, you know, she was saying, oh, well, it's not that I don't trust you. But of course, you know, that is what a prenup is for. And God bless prenups. I don't have shit, but I'm going to have a prenup if I ever get Kaylee married.

You ain't taking half my TiVo. I had to sign a two year contract for that shit. That's lasted longer than this relationship. Get out of my house! Bethany disturbs me. I just wish she would do more that's not gross. Okay, so like, you didn't like

the way that she was talking down to a challenged short person in a bar in Montauk? That was not entertaining to you? Actually, you know, I'm a hypocrite because obviously I find it entertaining because I'm watching it. I could just say, oh, I didn't watch it. You guys talk about it and I'll just make fun of Bethany.

But I watched it. I watched the whole thing. And actually, there was a good part in it because she really doesn't have much to do this year so far. So she did this thing where she hung out with all her closest girlfriends, which basically means she invites 10 women, 10-ish women to go someplace exotic and pays for everything, but she has no like real relationships. It feels like it, but they weren't technically the employees or whatever um but one of the ladies was like oh bethany i am just so proud of everything you've accomplished and she's like oh thank you hon thank you oh i mean skinny girl who would have thought the name

skinny girl wasn't taken oh i know isn't that crazy skinny girl but it's mine you know i i got it i came up with it oh well isn't that just crazy that no one came up with the name Skinny Girl before you did? Oh, isn't that crazy? And she has no idea that the anvil's about to drop on her head. And her ass is about to get sued for stealing the idea of Skinny Girl. But this bitch who is supposedly one of her best friends knows. And she's not going to tell her until that bill is paid. She needs to get her until that bill is paid she needed she needed to get her clam bake on

bethany cannot have a good show unless there are women to hate her on the show you're so right i mean i'm just sitting here the entire time going like i really hope that kelly ben simone paddle boards right on by oh i can't believe you even had the nerve to bring up that name in front of me i love her and i'm so sad that she's not going to be on the next season of real housewives of new york so sad without her i mean jill fine we can let that go but no kkb there's a problem close your eyes okay open your eyes close your eyes close your eyes-enter. Re-enter. Who are the housewives of New York now?

Kelly's gone. Jill's gone. Who's left? The Countess and Ramona and a bunch of Ramona's friends, including Blondie from Matt Loves That Woman. What's that lady's name? Who has the toaster cookbook? Sonia and her toaster. Sonia, yes.

Sonia and her toaster cookia yes Sonia and her toaster who likes to fist her toilet when her blackberry goes missing who calls a semi hot plumber over to fish out the blackberry that she put there on purpose so embarrassing oh my god ok but we've got some time before that one comes back

you guys want to talk about a little Real Housewives gossip? Yeah, let's do it. I really like going to this site called stupidhousewives.com. It's S-T-O-O-P-I-D. This woman is obsessed with all things Housewives. And I had never really subscribed to a blog before. You know how under some comment section it'll say, subscribe to this blog. And so I thought, okay, I'll subscribe. Thinking thinking like once a week i'll get a little email like with

tvgasm you get like an email once a week and it's like this is what happened on tvgasm no no stupid sends you shit and she posts all day i don't even know when she sleeps but that shit it's like ding ding so all day i'm'm like, oh my God, Tamara Barney's on the John Jay and Rich radio show? How did I find that? I'm like Googling shit. I'm like, my whole day is now consumed with these women. So thanks, Stupid Housewives.

I need to sign up to Thumbs Like. Yeah, well, it's a lot of dinging. Does she have any updates on my girl Gina Kehoe? Gina, oh, do you want me to search her on here? I totally will. Yes! I need me some Gina. Well, the headline she has right now, I'll start this

so you guys can talk while I search Gina. But Camille and Kelsey have settled. Kids will be shared. Okay, so. And this was actually broken by TMZ, but I'm reading it on. Okay, well, how much money is Camille going to get? It doesn't say. It was reportedly like 50 million.

Yeah, that's what it was like a few months ago. So I don't know. I doubt after taxes it'll be close to that. But, you know, she gets the house and the boo. Yeah. The kids will stay in Los Angeles with Camille, but Kelsey will have meaningful contact with both children. What does that mean? I hope there's quotation marks around that.

Yes, that was my mental air quotes. But this is the best part of the story. Note, attached to the court order, there is a separate document which states that Camille gets full custody of Dee Dee, and Dee Dee gets nine weeks of Camille free time at

Camille's house in Hawaii. What about Alison Dubois? Oh, Alison. You know, once you make a mistake, Camille kicks you out. Like she's not going to bring, she ain't going to bring Alison back. Didi got banished from the rest of the season

after going after Taylor. If anyone's going to make Camille look like an asshole, it's going to be Camille, damn it. She's not going to have anyone stand in her way. Adrian Maloof is still making her shoes. Here's a good one.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills casting call for the Real Housekeepers of Beverly Hills. We all know how important Hag face Kyle Richards lady sitter is. So be on the lookout for a brand new reality to show to air, possibly on Bravo. Producers are interviewing all over Beverly Hills for help. Oh my God.

You guys may. Nobody in their right mind would ever let any of their housekeepers help. Even though the help is Trey Chic right now with an Oscar win for Octavia Spencer. Nobody in their right mind would allow any of their help to be going on one of these shows. Well, I hope Lisa Vanderpump does. Because I want to see that maid have a different bruise every other day. Oh my god. You know she beats that maid.

other day. Oh my god. You know she beats that maid. It's probably their way of gagging the actual help. By engineering a show about help where they can hire. That's true. They're going to hire fake actors that are playing maids so that their real maids can stay chained in the basement. Exactly.

You know that's what's going on. Is there like an ethnicity requirement? Requirement. Do they care? They're all going to be like bikini maids. Or this could be another way for them to have more friends. You know, like Bethany, all her friends work for her.

So maybe they need more friends. Well, I wish I was watching Top Chef tonight and and they showed a Jeff Lewis commercial, and Zoila. Oh my god, I love her so much. Can't that woman just be on every show? I think I was also trying to watch American Idol earlier, which is not on this channel, so we don't have to talk about it, but it was so painful. And then I saw the Zoila commercial. That was in the audience tonight, so let me just tell you, it was painful. Oh, was it more horrible in the audience?

Actually, the girls were better than the boys, but like, oh my god. The judges are terrible. The audience is terrible. They picked a lot of terrible ass people. Okay, well we shouldn't talk about that I guess. Sidebar, sidebar. Watch what crap happens on Sideshow Network.

Yeah, but Zoila needs to be a judge on that show. She just needs to be like, my head hurt! Shut up! We'll get to the new upcoming shows in a second here, but now that you mentioned Top Chef, let's dance on over to the land

of Padma. Season finale night on Top Chef. What'd you guys think? Most boring season ever. You think? I don't know. I'm always fascinated because I love eating. So every time I'm like, I never would have thought of that. Oh, really?

I wonder, what does layers of flavor mean? What does complex flavors mean? I would like to know. I would like to know what this stuff tastes like. All you need to know is that it all tastes like shit because everything that that bitch Sarah put out on her plates tonight looked like crap on a lettuce leaf.

It did? That salmon or whatever she was making? Oh, that looked like little bricks. And she's like, oh my god, there might be bones in it. And so her and Naisha with their bare hands, like, picking through the fish? Oh, no. And pig cheeks and inner... What are those? Sweetbreads andads and pig just like it's guts

whatever she's trash she could have at least made it catchy and called it guts and grits because everybody loves an alliteration yes why does it need to be polenta with sweet breads that just sounds so snotty. Guts and grits. That's what it is. Let's not kid ourselves here. Was that a dish that could have used some crunch? I remember one of the eaters said that.

Yes, it did need some crunch because it looked like a pile of shit. It did. It looked like a sunny side up pile of shit. It really did. Okay, well, if any of you haven't watched the show tonight or you haven't watched it on your DVR yet, spoiler alert. You have two seconds to turn this off. Paul won. Let's

discuss. We all liked Paul. We were all rooting for Paul. No surprises, right? No. I wish there would have been some sweet and sour chicken, but otherwise... Have you ever dated an Asian man? Yes. Did he cook delicious food for you? No. Have you ever dated an Asian man? Um, yes. Did he cook delicious food for you? No, no, no.

He was a lazy Asian. He was a Laysian. Did he at least go down to the store and get smokes for you? No. He didn't do anything but get really super dramatic and cry about shit. I would be like, what did I do? I'm sorry I changed the channel during the commercial it's like everything i did was so offensive he was a drama queen i don't think it had to do um as much as as much with him what am i trying to say i don't think it had to do with you miss him i don't think it was because he was asian i think

it was just because he was like super gay. So I blame the gays more than the Asians on that, on that mess. Okay. Well, we'll get less hate mail now, but I should have, I should have known that Paul was going to win because he was wearing that goddamn scarf.

I know a straight man and a scarf equals win. Yes. That's why he was wearing a scarf. I didn't notice this in his, uh, diary videos. He was wearing a scarf? I didn't notice this. In his diary videos, he was wearing a scarf and he was just all chilled back in his fancy little scarf. I was like, oh god.

That's why I hate what reality shows do to people. They go in, they're so nice, and they come out scarf wearers. And wearing fedoras. And you just described Bethany. That's why I don't like her anymore. Because she wears scarves and fedoras. And you just described Bethany. That's why I don't like her anymore. Yes.

She wears scarves and fedoras. You are so right. Yeah, she was always a little holier than thou and above everybody, Bethany. But when she was poor, it was more acceptable, you know? And she couldn't drive her Mercedes. Like, she couldn't drive the Mercedes to the Hamptons. Like, what the... The more we talk about this, the more

I fucking hate her. It's so hard. This car is so hard. What are all these buttons? Why can't they just have a little stick that you pull and you go? Why does a car have to be like this? I will say, though, that now I think that we need to go on a field trip to get our eyebrows threaded

because I'm totally intrigued. Threaded eyebrows? Did she get her eyebrows threaded? Is it called threaded, or what is it called? Yeah, it's called threaded. I'm Lebanese. The last thing I need is threading. My unibrow is not as bad as Hugh Atchison's,

but, you know, I could use a little sprucing up. Mine is. I lost my tweezers, and I was like, oh, let's just see how this works out. Not good. I'll knit. Are you almost passed on the shawls of sunset? Well, isn't threading just pulling out the hairs one at a time instead of all at once?

I think so. I don't know. I was trying to understand, but I was confused. I feel like I'm gay enough already without knowing what that is. Like, I'm totally fine without knowing. I'd just rather stay ignorant on that. So, Sarah on Top Chef, I felt really bad because during a commercial break, you know how they always have those Bravo polls,

and it said, who do you think should win? Sarah or Paul? Sarah got 8% of the vote. Oh. I'm surprised she got 8%. Poor Sarah. It must have been all of her friends in Chicago. I mean, Texas. Oh, wait, I'm from Chicago. No, I'm from Texas.

No, I'm from Chicago. Shut the fuck up. Didn't you love that she got stuck working with the first guy that kicked off? Yes! I was going to bring that up. Yeah. That's so funny. I love it. I just have to say this.

Like I was just watching at the beginning of that episode and I was like, you know what? This season has felt like it's been on since 1987. And I kind of want to kill myself. Yeah. Bravo is not really having very much luck with their new programming. So it seems like they're making... I mean, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,

maybe it's just because I had to write so much about it, but 24 episodes. Like 23 or 24 episodes. I think 24 because they had to lost footage. Okay, I am not complaining about that. I am not complaining about Beverly Hills. Because you don't have to write about it. It's just too much.

I mean, if you think 10 pages for a recap. You don't know me, Honey Gangster. You don't know me. All right. If a recap is roughly 10 pages, like if you put it into Microsoft Word, my recaps for an hour-long show are generally 10 pages long. That means I wrote. This sounds like an SAT math question, and I am already failing.

Don't worry. Anything, you can do anything times 10. You just add a zero to it. That's why I say 10. I don't say my recaps are nine pages long. They're not seven pages, because I can't do sevens. But 10, add a zero. All right, so 10 pages, and there were 23 episodes that I recapped.

That is 230 pages, you guys. I could have written a book. I could have been someone. Now what am I doing? It's a dissertation. You can get a PhD for that. Send it off. I could have been a doctor.

You could, Dr. Flippage. A doctor of recapping. You know, I was on a stretch once where every show I was doing was two hours. And then they would do like a double header stuff I wanted to kill myself it gets you hate those shows when you have to spend that much time on them yeah we got yet another new writer on biggest loser and I thought oh my god bye you know like why would I put anybody talented on that show they always quit within like two episodes I never see them again I feel like I just put that girl on the chopping block was like bye bitch so it's hard to have much to say about Top Chef because I

actually really loved the season I thought it was a really good season it was one of my favorite seasons in a long time and I'm not just saying that to be contrary Matt but I really did like the season but man what a boring finale i think i'm just still pissed that you know bev got the axe because i i thought that bev should have made it to the finale you know to battle nasty sarah but you know i liked it up until about two weeks ago but that finale was just painfully boring i will say though that you know the guy that helped sarah that was kicked off in the first episode, if she had followed his advice

on pickling those vegetables, she may have won. Oh, good point. She was never going to win. I mean, let's be real. This is completely set up from the get-go. Sarah could have made the most delicious meal, and Paul could have served

feces and he still would have won. But Top Chef is known for giving the evil person the win. I mean, so often, more often than not it seems like the person who wins is the people that everybody hates. So I was actually worried for Paul going in

because, you know. That is true. In years past they are willing to go there which is kind of in a weird way refreshing that it's not always like the angelic one that takes the cake but um you know i never thought that sarah was going to actually win because the funny thing is if you watch those episodes really closely gail has always hated her and if gail hates you you are fucked you know why gail hates her why because Gail has weight issues and people who are always on a diet hate fat people it's so true you guys she's like

the warning Sarah's her warning yes she's like if I I'm trying to eat 1200 calories a day and look at you with a fucking golden corral for your whole, I hope you're having fun over there. It's like... Making your sausages. It's like the little kid whose mom won't let him go outside and play eventually is the kid who goes and shoots everybody in school. He just wants to play.

Too soon, right? Sorry. I forgot about that recent one. Oh, God. Oh, God. See you in hell. If that kid had just had enough snacks. I would like to point out one of my favorite highlights

of this season of Top Chef. That is that there is a restaurant in Texas called The Salt Lick. Oh, hell yeah, baby. Have you been there? Of course. It actually just made the top 100 restaurants in the country list that came out last week.

Oh my god. Honestly, if they really brought you out a Salt Lick on a plate, I would go there. If that's really what they did. I'd be nice to go there anyway. Is that the place with all the open pit fire? Yes. They did a challenge there this year.

Okay. I think that that just actually did make one of the best restaurants on the country list. Field trip. Yes. That place is delightful. Yeah. If you guys ever want to come to Austin with me, feel free. We'll go over there together.

There's a place called the Salt Lick. I have to. I'm a vegetarian. Is that going to work? Oh, honey. You can never go to Texas I don't think salt has any meat in it though

I don't know in Texas I bet it does that's true I thought one thing that I will always be grateful to this season of Top Chef for is that very last scene after they crowned Paul the winner and then they cut to Sarah sobbing,

and then they cut to her diary room where she goes, I really believe that I deserve to be top show. Thank you. I'm going to make that into a ringer. Every time a fat person calls me, it's going to go, I really deserve to eat top chef! And I'm going to hate that ringer because I'm always on a diet. That's how I understand poor little Gail.

So, bye, top chef. Next up will be top chef just, who knows? I'm sick of cooking. I watch Chopped. They can't cook shit on that show, but man, it's funny. Are you not a top chef? Just desserts fan? Yes.

Because those personalities, it's like watching musical theater people versus improv people. Improv people are like implied and they don't really groom and they're funny in like a weird way. Whereas theater people are like drama, like really fun and dramatic for no reason i love just desserts and we don't need to see padma in uh western gear which is a good thing yeah and gail gets to say more on that show she's taken more seriously on that show which i like so done with. Let's move on to some new shows. Matt, take us through the new shows coming up on Bravo

so we can understand what to watch and what to avoid. Okay, well, there is, you know, there are a few bright spots in this dark, dark season for Bravo, because recently a lot of their shows have not been hitting home runs.

It's a Brad Brad world. I just don home runs it's a brad brad world yeah i just don't think it's going to come back for another season the ratings are mediocre gay people at least make an effort like just make an effort please you're making us all look bad you know my papa's sitting at home changing channels and he is eventually going to come across that show with a little guy flitting around in a bright pink suit please just make an effort that's all is he putting us back is he like is he like harming the cause i feel like he is harming the cause and i'm not saying you can't be who you are i just think that who you are should just be less gross like just stop you know it's not even know? It's not even the amount of

gayness. It's just all the crying and the, like, I'm so important and take me seriously. Like, no one takes you seriously because you're walking around in a pink suit sobbing in the middle of the street. Please stop. And you have a creepy boyfriend. Yes, well.

Who is a walking corpse. How did Brad get a show? He was Rachel Zoe's assistant, yeah? Yeah Yeah, well she fired his ass And then Bravo, I don't know Maybe Andy Cohen has a thing for Mr. Goreski But I don't know I mean Brad clearly was the star of the Rachel Zoe show

But again, like Kim Zolciak Do you need a spinoff? No Brad, no and her other assistant taylor that was there with brad in the beginning she's probably really pissed now brad got a show she was pissed regardless she was always going to be pissed and bitter and like dying her hair like neon blonde and breaking it off at the roots and crying and yeah she just needed to wear a pink suit and run around she could have got a spin-off um hello she only wears black only black speaking of only black let's talk about i don't know that's not a good segue segue but um upcoming shows we

have the new jeff lewis show where he and jenny are gonna go around with zoila and give people i don't know home makeovers and some therapy i love jeff he can do no wrong in my book but i just don't know that this is gonna work what do you guys think jeff lewis giving therapy what has anybody watched the jeff lewis would Jeff Lewis give anybody therapy about anything? That guy still won't admit to wearing a rug. Well, here's this crazy thing. Flipping Out is like one of the top two rated shows on Bravo. So they're just going to try and milk his udders throughout the year for more ratings.

But I don't know if it's going to work. I mean, I like Jenny, but I don't know if I like her that much. What kind of therapy is this? Do they help you, like, redo your living room or what? Yeah, it's going to be like, I'm a recent divorcee, and my husband, you know, cheated on me with a young woman, and now I need to redecorate my living room so that I feel empowered, and I need a new Persian rug from the Shaz of Sunset.

You need some vaginal rejuvenation, some fish oil pills, and a lot of water, honey. That was great. Okay, well, Jeff Lewis can't do that for you. He's not going to help you with the vaginal rejuvenation. Does he know feng shui? Those people that know that, they make tons of money going into celebrities' houses and telling them to move the plant. Yeah.

Your life sucks because that plant's in the wrong place. Exactly. Well, I will be watching the new Jeff. Oh, I'm sorry, Matt. Go ahead. I was just going to say, well, clearly the consensus is no one's going to be watching the new Jeff show. You know, it looks wonderful to me. I love design shows. I love

Jeff Lewis. I love Zoila. So, to me, I think it's going to be great, which means it'll probably fail. I do not pick a winner. When I first saw Real Housewives of Orange County when it first came out, I was like, no, who would watch this? This is bullshit. And then when it became popular, I refused to put it on the site. That's how stupid I thought it was.

And now look, it's like our whole site. That's what I thought about Jersey Shore. I was like, what is this? No one's going to watch this Me too I won't watch that either I just cannot pick a winner Okay well let's talk about Selling New York Is that going to happen or not

Again I'm going to love it Wait Selling New York isn't that the one on HGTV I'm sorry Million Dollar Listing New York It's all the same Yes I watched Selling New York Yeah that one's on HGTV and Million Dollar Listing New York is going to be the spinoff of a pretty unsuccessful show. That show was hilarious. The first season, the Million Dollar Listing with those little boys that were selling.

You know what they did in Los Angeles? It's fascinating, and it's not ridiculous, and they have had three seasons. So I don't know what you people are talking about. That show just, I mean, that show like opens with Josh sitting in his weird smoking jacket, Hugh Hefner robe and his talking to his grandmother, talking to his grandmother. What the hell?

But I watch it again. I do. I do do watch it but I thought nobody was watching that show isn't that show always in danger of being cancelled it always is but they always resurrect it and now it gets a spin off did you guys see the crossover it had with

Millionaire Matchmaker of course what did you think of that I think Patty Stanger should die. I think she should die. And I can't believe she has a show. I cannot believe that she's allowed to have, like, crossovers. I just think that she is a terrible monster.

Well, what is the crossover that you guys are talking about? Madison, the gay one that used to not be gay but is now gay and likes to wear cute little sweaters that lives in Malibu and, you know and works that property. He was set up by Patty on an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, and he started smooching up on this dude, and they went on a surfing date, and then because Madison never takes off his pants,

it was not going to go anywhere. Why won't he take off his pants? Because I think he's a Ken doll with one of those, one of those crutches that doesn't have anything. And the legs just are attached, but there's no bulge happening. You know, I forgot that he was undecided when that show started. That rings a bell, though. Oh, yeah. He just came out this past season.

Oh, okay. Well, he doesn't need a big one. He's obviously a bottom. He can't pronounce an S to the end of his life. I don't think he's ever said one S. But I mean, come on. I need a parent permission slip. Like, I'm going to ask my mom to

fax one in tomorrow. Yeah, but could you imagine Madison being anything other than a bottom? I'm sorry, it's just not going to happen. No. No, Madison. No. No Down Madison Anyway Let's change gears We have two other shows

That are coming up I'm actually excited About this one And I didn't really Know too much about it Until the other day But Kathy Griffin Is coming back

In April to Bravo She's gonna have A new talk show Just called Kathy Because my life On the D-list Is no more So I'm excited for that

She's been around Since the beginning She and Vicki Gunvalson Are the two women That are holding This network together because my life on the D-list is no more. So I'm excited for that. She's been around since the beginning. She and Vicki Gunvalson are the two women that are holding this network together. So it should be interesting to see what happens. But now that Whitney Houston's dead, with Whitney dead, I just don't know that Kathy is going to have any more, you know, anything else to say.

I will watch that one. I love her. Kathy will always have something to say. And I'm glad that she's going to be doing a talk show because life on the D-list, I mean, I know I'm a terrible gay, but I just couldn't. I was like, eh. Well, after a while, it was the reality TV show curse.

She was getting famous. She wasn't on the D-list so much anymore. Well, no, and then she was just hiring her friends like, hey, Liza, here's 10 grand in a sack. Let's just go out to lunch and I'll film it. Right, right, right, right. Which you would think would be the best thing ever, but just doesn't. I don't know what it is. I think a lot of it is that you need characters to really like or hate.

And Kathy Griffin's just like a little doll that you pull the string and she just starts yapping and doesn't shut up until that string runs out and she goes to sleep for the night. And I don't know, it's hard to get attached. It's like, what are you waiting for for next week? You know? Right. Her mom, though, did a lot of good on that show. Her mom was hilarious. Yeah, we love her. We love her. But speaking of next

week, let's wrap this up with the Shaz of Sunset, which is about to debut on Bravo. It's going this up with the Shaz of Sunset, which is about to debut on Bravo. It's going to become the new kingpin of Sunday night TV. It's going to be battling the Kardashians on the E! Network on Sunday nights. It's going to be the ultimate duel.

Discuss. I've heard just a little bit about the show. Tell me the premise. Persian people. Lots of jewelry and accents. And that's all I know. And what do they do?

What do we watch them doing? Ronnie would be the category expert here. So Ronnie, you can feel free to take it away. Well, that so deserves me. You just totally took a big inhale of your cigarette, didn't you? No, no, no no I'm not even smoking but it's just how I breathe

now because I smoke so much my lungs are always just like gasping for air I burn so many calories just trying to get air into my

lungs I don't know why I'm fine it was such a dramatic pause I thought you were clearly taking you know a hit because I'm just

so disturbed it's like bringing back you know as an adult I got to move away from my Lebanese family and it feels like this is just shoving it right back in my face I'm just disturbed and frightened and I feel fat and like everyone's gonna make fun of me and you know I'm gonna judge people for having hairy back and backs and hair coming out of their ears and then one day I'm gonna be 36 and just wake up and see the same thing

all over myself. It's just not, I really think that you need some Jeff Lewis therapy. I'm not filled with positive energy. Your feng shui is off. It's either that or you need an eyebrow threading because there is something clearly wrong. When I lived in LA, I loved

the Middle Eastern guys. Loved them. So I might like this show. Well, yeah, because they still openly sexually harass you, you know? You're like one of those women who keep walking by construction zones just to feel hot, you know? I know you are. Her name is Honey Gangsta. What do you expect?

That's right, and I have blonde hair. She likes it rough. So, Ronnie, what's going on? I mean, I keep looking at all these ads, and I'm like, is this one family? Is it a neighborhood? Is it a city? How many people are there? The Middle Eastern people, there is no such thing

as a two-child family. You know? That's like one little sect. But i was about to say it's like terrorism you chop off one head and another one grows in but we're talking about middle eastern so i guess i shouldn't use that analogy but it is like we've already talked about school shootings and apartheid so why not hatred for asian boyfriends so let's just go there. I don't think Persians are terrorists anyway. So you got to stop blending all Middle Eastern people together. Yeah.

I think that there is never just one. You're totally right, though. There's not one member. It's a tribe. Yes, and they're all cousins and brothers. Every Persian I knew went around in groups of 20, and they were all related. Yes. And I think I told, I think I told you guys this last week, but,

um, one of my family reunions was huge. I mean, it was like a convention center full of us, you know, like little stamps of us. And, um,

one of my uncles who does well for himself, but t-shirts for everybody. And this was like a couple hundred people, you know, it was a big ass family tree. And the t-shirt said incest is best because so many of the old school, uh, immigrants like would marry their first cousin, you know? So, so much of my family tree is just, you know, like first cousins banging and making babies. i have depression issues webbed

toes i was bald when i was 20 um do you really have webbed toes i do yes and you think can you wear can you wear those special shoes with all of like the toe like those weird toes no or can you not wear them uh my my my great-grandmother on my white people side had socks like that when she was really old and about to die. And I remember sitting with her while she was dying and looking at those adorable socks. They were like rainbow socks, and each little toe had a little sleeve or whatever. And I remember being jealous of a 90-something-year-old woman on her deathbed because that bitch could wear those socks. And I couldn't. I was so mad.

This shit is getting dark. It is, right? This is really dark. But do you think this has been due to inbreeding? Is that what you're saying? Probably. I'm saying the problem is. I think that's where we're going with this.

But I can tell you that that's one of the... My family is one of the most entertaining families ever, and I'm glad to be from them, and so I cannot wait for this show, because it's gonna be crazy. It's gonna be your mom and your aunt in everything you do, you know? You're not gonna be able to do one thing.

Is everybody just gonna be meddling in each other's lives? Is there gonna be shopping? Is there gonna be fighting? Is there gonna be be fighting? Is there going to be gunplay? What should I expect here? Probably not gunplay, but there's going to be a lot of cologne, which you could probably smell from your couch. And there will be a lot of fake gold. Will it be Dracar Noir?

What? Dracar Noir? Yeah. I'm assuming that it's like the... Oh, my God. Never mind. What else can we expect? I'm Alexis.

I'm Alexis right now. Explain to me what it is. Will there be Mercedes from the early 90s with tinted windows? Probably, yes. There will be a lot of guys who are obsessed with the movie Scarface and trying to emulate it. There will be a lot of... I love you, brah. Because that's what those dudes say

all the time. A lot of fighting over girls. A lot of fighting because the dad doesn't believe in the son. The son never feels approved of by the dad. A lot of fat ladies like moms and aunts with hairy faces judging everything their kids do. But then the kids don't understand why they're being

judged, but they're slutty, shallow people. It's going to be wonderful. There was this True Life episode on where there was some Persian kid who wrote a book called, like, I Used to Be Persian, and his parents, even sort of, like, mocking the Persian culture, his parents were so offended. They were going to disown him.

Because he was no longer Persian. Yeah, because he, like, was making fun of the culture that they held so dear. Well, come on now. It's like when the Quakers have to go live in the real world for a year, and then they go back home all STD-ridden. Room Springer? Yes. And the Persians have it right,

because they never have to go live in the real world. They can stay. Their world is big enough. It's populated enough that they never have to go live in the real world they can stay their world is big enough it's populated enough that they never have to leave that little bubble you know and that's where that wonderful confidence comes from now will any of them end up you know for lunch at sir or villa blanca or will there be no crossover here oh i went to villa blanca for a birthday party a few weeks ago and it was it was our mainie town. Really?

Yeah. So, yeah, they will be. Everywhere that's fancy, hip, expensive, yeah, they'll be there. And they will be having the time of their lives. You'll get drinks spilled all over you. You'll get parts of yourself pinched that you didn't even know that were there. But at the end of the night, you'll leave and you'll be like, I really love my family.

You might get a fake designer bag, too. Can we just all go home with you for Thanksgiving? Because, like, I'm just begging for it. Lots of stuffed grape leaves and arguments. You guys, I think that will do it for the night. Are you satisfied? Is there any other Bravo you would like to crappens all over?

I just have to say that I have been watching a lot of Watch What Happens live this week and in recent weeks and it's been actually kind of good and I think that everybody should prepare themselves because tomorrow night Thursday night, I don't know if this podcast

is going to be live by then, but Andy's guests are going to be Nancy Grace and Chris Jenner I mean, what a combo Oh my god there's going to be a lot of silent farting on that episode Oh my god

it's must-see TV Thursday night must-see TV used to be on lot of silent farting on that episode. Oh my god, it's must-see TV. Thursday night, must-see TV used to be on NBC. Fuck the Huxtables. This is must-see TV. Well, we couldn't possibly end on a more offensive note than fuck the Huxtables. It's probably time to get going. You guys can find us on Twitter.

Matt Whitfield is at LifeOn guys can find us on Twitter. Matt Whitfield is at life on the M list on Twitter. Honey gangsta is at honey gangsta. I am at flip it or at TV gasm. Uh, you can find us at yahoo.com or tvgasm.com. You can find my housewives videos at kankletv.com where I spoof the housewives. And, um,

you can find watch what Crappens here on iTunes or what's that network? I'm so sorry. Oh, Sideshow Network. Sideshow Network. Sideshow Network. Holler. So thank you everybody for listening. Thank you guys for being here and we will definitely be talking about Watch What Happens Live next week

so check it out. Bye guys. Bye. Don't forget to go to Gamefly.com slash haha and get your 15-day trial from Gamefly. They have over 7,000 titles to choose from for all the game systems and handhelds. No late fees, free shipping, cancel anytime. That's Gamefly.com

slash haha to get your free 15-day trial. Gamefly. Games delivered. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza Slicinger. Slicinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza.

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