Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Boy's Night/Pillow Fight Plus SC NOLA

Episode Date: April 28, 2018

Southern Charm and Southern Charm New Orleans decide to have a boy's night/girl's night episode on the same night. Only one of them features a fight over a pillow, though. No spoilers. This week's bonus is a chat about cooking and a quick take on RHOP! For all of our bonus episodes and other goodies, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I've been watching what crappens was for. Watch what crappens were for. Kids what, habits what, habits what, this what, habits what, this what, habits what, this what,

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It'll be, hello and welcome to watch what crappin', the podcast about all that crap We love to talk about on ye old brabs. I'm Ronnie caram. I'm also on a podcast called the Rosepricks bachelor roast And here I am with my gorgeous co-host and little bestie Ben Madelkerf the beach side blog and the pants of blinda a hello bean Oh, hi. How are you? How's it going? Hello, Boone. Oh, hi, how are you? How's it going? Sockingly good.

I warned you yesterday. I would probably be a hundo for a mess today. And I'm not. I feel amazing. Who knew? Yeah, I thought I was going to be a mess too, because we were drinking last night. We went to the adby with our fellow podcaster in arms,

Ms. Annabelle Desisto of Adderall and Compliments, and a really important reporter, reporter Christina Gibson reporting live, she was in town, so we had like a remarkably fun evening. And I only drank two dirty Marching Knees, but I was like, woo! And I'm doing okay now. Yeah, I woke up like, okay, let's get this day started.

I don't know how that happened, but I'm giving credit to the smoothies. Yeah, as you should, I'm sipping some homemade iced coffee with the Starbucks house blend. Not that anyone really cares. I know some people actually specifically do not care, but I wanted to share that because I am amped on the fact that we have two new shows on sale this week. The new Philly show and the new Atlanta show, their second shows, because the first one's pretty much sold out. I think you can still get upgrades for the new Philly Show and the new Atlanta Show. They're second shows because the first ones are pretty much sold out. I think you can still get upgrades for the original Philly Show on the 20th VIP upgrades

if you want to turn your regular ticket into a fancy ticket. But you can also just go to just get a ticket on the 19th and come see us in Philly, July 19th or Atlanta. We add a second show on the same night. And because it's the same night, there's like not enough time to do VIP meeting, greeting all that stuff. So it's just all general mish. It'll be super fun.

And we have not decided yet what we're going to do for our Chicago shows coming up in a few weeks. But we do know that for our June shows, our Phoenix show will be, we'll be talking about Real House was in New York and our San Francisco gay pride show. We're going to be talking Southern Charm and the theme for the show for like for those coming to the show. We are saying the theme is gay Southern Charm.

You can do whatever you want to do with that theme. You do with it, but that is the theme of the night because it's gay pride and Countess Luann is, do we talk about this on the show? Do we ever really talk about this? That Countess Luan is going to be performing half a mile down the street from where we are the same night that we're doing our San Francisco show. That is just like cruel. That is a cruel universal, like just because it's like it's not fair that we get to be so close to Luan and yet we can't like why don't why can't we just join forces. Well I can tell you this much. Countess Luan may not be at our show, but she probably will be at our show in some way, being that we're gonna be celebrating her cabaret

that night and we both love singing Countess Luan songs. So yeah, well maybe we'll have like some large and a blue wire like feed from inside our cabaret down the streets, but how crazy is that that's kind of actually It's kind of it's actually super cool if you think about it that we're like That like the Wann and that's where we're playing on like down the street from each other the same night It's like I feel like this weird umbrella effect. I feel like we're opening for her But we're in two different venues having two different shows. I don't know. I'm like, I'm giddy.

I feel like we're all carmies. Like, hey, we're going to see each other down the street kid. I wish she could, I wish she could come to our show, like just like pop in, but I don't think that's going to be a possibility. Yeah. I think she's probably busy, but you know, if anyone knows or tell her tell her get her ass and We'll see what we can do. We'll see what we can do, but I don't I don't have any high hopes for that But I do have high hopes that San Francisco will come through in spades

with all sorts of gay pride Southern charm Things I don't know what they will be really fun. They'll be amazing. Yeah, yes and now all sorts of gay pride, Southern charm things. I don't know what it would be. It would be really fun. It would be amazing. Yeah. Yes. And now, guess what?

It's pepper. Pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper, pepper. Southern. You're the winner. Measing magazines. Peep-a-doo. They did do a little rearranging of the song in the previously Switchers cute. It wasn't as long as usual, but we did get a little Don't you know don't you know and then Craig's like what about selling and I was like oh my god. They're running don't you know with so

These clever little bastards. Yeah, cuz camera was like things turned sour at my shower and then tricks and molecules like Swing this game. Don't you know, don't you know? I'm like, that really is not a commentary on the baby shower, but fine, fine. So we open with, you know, little shots of what everybody is doing. And it's Charleston. So nobody's doing shit. Chef is eating, Craig is eating with his mouth open and pretending to read the paper. He gets. And then yeah, it was like a fake USA today. It was like even worse than USA today.

It was like USA this day. It's like kitty cats today. And chef was golfing at his house. Yeah. He's like, gosh, I couldn't even hit the head a hole in one in my living room. Potter situation. Park a playthrough playthrough. Cornish and Naomi is grossed out by the smell of cat food and then Austin's putting on a

med mask. I was like, yeah, Austin's getting into black face. That's nice. Now he's doing a mud mask. So exciting things. And then we just sort of land on. We're gonna get some more sensitive facial masks in the south.

How about that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's a really good note. Like maybe they could like work on, you know, like maybe turning into sort of like a, maybe like a hot pink or like a green or something. You know, green is a classic color. And that's not really a note to the show.

It's more a note to the region. Okay. We're just trying to avoid, we're just trying to make people happy. We want people to get along. So if you can avoid stepping into a hornet's nest, then let's avoid it. How about do a green mask? Your pores will thank you for the green.

Your pores and your internet. Your Google searches will help you. Well, thank you. Yes. You don't want to be searched on the internet in 10 years after you took a picture in black face, you're doing your facial. That's not what anybody needs on the job search in the future. We're just trying to help you. Well, to be fair, he was good. He actually, he was, they were good to include him saying

something about like, I don't know, he said some commentary that was like warrior, like he was a warrior going to battle. So that's the other. Uh, so then camera also soldiers in the South, I don't know, we'll just move away from it. Yeah. And we really don't need to spend this much time on them out. Maybe we are hungover. Maybe we are literally lean to back. We're just making, let's talk about a mud mask. There's so many listeners that are angry at us right now.

I guess snowflakes. Snow snow was very good to put on your face very good Also good. How about yeah, what about like snow fungus? What about what was it? What was like L22 use L22? Yeah, you some L20 team okay, so not good morning Next Cameron is bouncing on one of the city bouncy balls that people you know They're like I'm sitting on the ball in my office Because my back hurts or whatever. Yeah, I got one of those hated it got rid of it like doesn't even fit in How how are poor people supposed to live with these bouncing balls in our house like where do we put them? I'm supposed to deflate them inflate them deflate them inflate them. I'd rather have a bad back

Thank you, you know burn burn Yip on treating spaces used one of those balls this week to make a lampshade. You know, I'm horrified. Did he have lighting for sure? It was a lighting fixture, I should say. Did he have a wrap-up? He did. What he did was he used it as sort of like a base and then they put like yarn all over it and then used like fabric stiffener and then the fabric stiffened into this cool sort of like lacy orb shape and then deflated the ball and had to pull it out, you know, oh okay, so it wasn't like a permanent. No, it was not a hilde santa sort of deconstructed penguin. And when you get into bouncing ball design in their house, by the way,

bustle, I think it was bustle.com was like, so like, trading spaces, like, doesn't belong anymore. They're like, like, making bussels sounds so bitchy, but they were like, they're like, HGTV shows and in this post, Fixer Upper Era, we have seen like, our taste of advance and like, trading spaces, it's cute. They just doesn't fit anymore. I'm like, you're missing the entire point.

The entire point is that it is shitty. So, beyond shitty, that's, it's cute. It just doesn't fit anymore. I'm like, you're missing the entire point. The entire point is that it is shitty. So beyond shitty, that's, it fits more than it ever has before. Yeah, and I don't know if you've ever gone to anybody's house, but most people's taste is still shitty. So I don't know what you're talking about. We have not advanced, okay? We're in a fixer downer period. Yes, no kidding.

It's called, it's called design on a dime. Remember that show? I mean, that show, that show should come back. It's like you have a dime, you know, they're like let's turn this Starbucks cup into a you know a loft bed. I mean that's what I'm into, you know, I'm into poor people designs. My whole house is glue gun together. So fuck off, bustle. How about that? No, but bustle's also a nice tour podcast. We don't say fuck off to bustle. Oh, I never remember to say take it back, bustle. No, bustle has written nice things about us, but bustle's also nice to our podcast. So we don't say fuck off to bustle. Oh, never mind. Take it back, Bessel. No, bustle has written nice things about us,

but we want to say is, no, bustle reconsider. Think about it from a different point of view, which is that trading space is actually better than ever. Think about it from this point of view. I have a light, a lighting fixture made out of sticks. I found out the street one day. So how about that, Bessel? OK, consider that.

Think about it from this point of view. Have you ever been able to write about deconstructive penguin inspiration? I don't think so. You're welcome, see? Anyway, so Cameron is pregnant and she's puddling around her house on her big ball, her vernipe ball.

And Michael the Butler comes over. He's been sent there on loan from Patricia on a little field trip to help Cameron out in her pregnancy and he just shows up and he's just like, he is just so happy to be a Butler. It's kind of like he takes great pride in his work. He shows up, he's like, well, I just, I always just find things to do and I just do them.

Yeah. No kidding, can you be an employee anywhere in America? Can I just, can I just have Michael as an employee everywhere in America? He's like, Hey, I brought some paper towels because last time you were out, okay, get in here and stay here. I would tell their hand to the fucking radiator. I am currently out of paper towels. So you need to get a rich friend. I need to mind you their bumper. They're bumper. Why did I say that? I would like a bumper. They're butler. I do. I do. And he was like, I just think it's funny. I always find I always just find things to do

and I just do them. To me, I'm like, I find things to do. And then I play Nintendo. I'm like, I make a list of things to do so that the next day I could be like, well, I'm still a loser and did nothing. So she's going through all of her baby stuff and she's like, ew, baby food maker. He does that. And he's like, well, well, to do people do it. They have their chef or their assistant chef do it.

Yeah. It reminds me very, it's like it reminds me very it's like very down Abby You know when it's like if you're if you were the butler or you the you're the valet you took pride in being the butler and valet And this is what you do because you're you're you're you're fulfilling your role in the social order and if you don't do Your role in the social order correctly the entire social order and if you don't do your role in the social order correctly, the entire social order falls apart. So even though you're not a lord with all the power, you are an essential part of the chain of command. I was like, oh, this is, this is what, what a charming concept in this, with all these

millennials about. Am I right? Am I right? Oh, kids. Um, remember when people were proud to call themselves domestics. Yeah. We're back in the day. Yeah, because she's like, what do you do, Rob, Feet, Michael? And he's like, I could.

And she goes, what do you rub then? My husband won't rub him. Like your husband won't do a lot of things. You know, that's like another list of things that fucking camera's husband won't do. Won't come on the show. Won't go to a baby shower. Won't rub feet. Yeah, he, why is he, he is a doctor.

Why is he grossed out about rubbing feet? Like you're handling and like blood and intestines and, you know, fecal matter. And then you don't want to rub feet. Well, maybe just doesn't want to get it on her feet. But still, like that should be like the least objectionable thing you do all day. Well, Michael's answer is he's your husband, Vam. I'm a domestic. Like thatam. I'm a domestic. Like that is so amazing. Yeah, that's your husband. I'm a domestic. Best answer ever. I think that's the best answer to any question on Bravo so far this year. You may have just knocked

Adam off the podium for team gay of Bravo, the top team gay of all time. I mean, I'm assuming Michael's gay, he might not be gay actually. I just assume he's gay because he spends so much time with Patricia. But if he is gay, he is the champion. If you weren't gay before, you turn gay, it's like conditioning, you know, when you look for it. Yeah, even if he's straight, he is the, he is the best team gay on Bravo right now. You can't spend your life around a woman in a robe with feathers all over it and not be not become gay. It's just how it works. I had a very, I didn't encounter with a very untamed gay today.

I was playing out of a parking lot. It was one of these situations where I was playing out on to Gower and it was just like traffic. And so the light was red. So no one was moving. And there was like a gap, like a little gap. And you know in those situations, you'll, they'll never be a space for you to move in.

So you just sort of insert yourself, right? Because all the cars are stopped, and there was like a little gap between the two cars. So I'm, I'm nuzzle my car in. And I give a wave to the 1984 Toyota Corolla that was on to the left of me. I give a little wave like thank you, which I believe is more than most people do and as the traffic started going I

Just suddenly here my window happened to be down and all of a sudden I hear like who gave you the right way bitch Who gave you the right way bitch? And I look at my rear view mirror and this guy is like sassing his hand is at the mirror being like Snapping and like doing that like drag wave thing is like bitch I never said you could get right of way you're just gonna drop you're just gonna drop a shut up bitch You're gonna drop away have fun with that and then he like makes a right turn and leads. I was like I obstructed you for all of like 10 feet Thank you. This is great. This is a great one. It was gay on gay. That's road age

It was gay on gay. That's road age. It was road age. It's the best kind of gay road rage there is to be honest because it's not violent. It's just hilarious. It's just loud. Trash. Trash. Who gave you the right of way, trash. You also had a handicap placard up and I was immediately being like, where is your scooter? Where is your scooter? Well, I like to think that Patricia isn't home watching this scene with Michael Rubby. I kept calling a mic in my notes because it's shorter

but it's so not fitting and I feel guilty for talking to that. And I'd like to apologize to you, Michael, for writing down mic in my notes. But she's like, I feel like you're cheating on Patricia, Michael. And I'd like to think to you, Michael, for writing down Mike in my minutes. But she's like, I feel like you're cheap, non-patri-cia, Michael. And I'd like to think that Patricia's sitting at home just rubbing her little bell, watching this, like just rubbing it like, oh, Michael.

Oh, my thing. Oh, no one's here to answer my ding, darling. Ha, ha, ha. I just imagine her like that scene in serial mom where that lady is watching Annie and her dog is licking her feet Remember that scene. Yes John Waters can be so gross even with shit like that. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I'm being like everything you say I'm giving like a tangent. I'm sorry

It's a franny recap Tomorrow tomorrow. I love you tomorrow. You're only a day away. And Michael, you better be back here tomorrow tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I'll still have Macock tomorrow by Thomas Ratton now. Okay. So Greg is Greg. Who's Greg? Greg. I'm so sorry for these notes. Craig, Face Time's his parents. And you know, in typical Face Time in your parents' form, they're like, how do I make this bigger? How does this work? I don't see your face. This is the audio version of Craig's parents using FaceTime. Craig, Craig is a working Craig now.

Is it, you can hear him now? Can you hear me now. So it's mom's like, did you just wake up or something? You look like it's still drunk. It's like, geez, mother. Why don't call you more? Oh, yeah, he's like, no, I'm not drunk. I just woke up from a nap. That was 12 hours long and started when I was drinking

And so it's like how's your sewing coming? He's like, I'm pretty good I'm like working on doing a pillowcase at every night Like is he applying to have like a PhD in pillowcase thing? Yeah, I love it. He's starting his own pillowcase company He should start an Etsy shop. real wood. I think he is. He's selling something because someone most on Facebook, a picture of his new company, it's called flawed design. Like, I mean, that's really, really, like, on the nose.

You know what I mean? Since you just gave somebody a teddy bear that fell apart, the second they took it off of it. Flood design, you can't complain. It's supposed to be flawed. You know what's funny is around the time I think that this was all shooting, that was when we were doing our LA show last year and we kept on saying that there was going to be a pillow from Craig because we had asked Naomi, we're like, hey, can you get a pillow from Craig,

not realizing they were going through just this vicious break up that we're seeing right now. And we're like, hey, can we get a pillow for Craig? We want to give it away at our L.A. show. And she kept on, like, yeah, Craig says he's working on it. He's working on it. He's working on it. And then we of course never got it

because they were breaking up. But it's also fun to think like, like you were making a pillowcase every single night Craig. What? Yeah. Where's our, where's our, ours was that's our Goddamn baby tooth pillow and I want it. I single night Craig. Yeah. Where's, we're owed words. As ours was our dad's baby, two pillow and I want it. I want it now.

So I like. He said he not only was saying he does one case tonight. He's like, I'm trying to do one case. Bill, okay, tonight was Sean and I are watching our shows. It's like that is so romantic. Could you please say Sean? Cause that's the most adorable thing I've ever heard. Well, we all know the reason why he's doing one a night. He's just chasing that high, you know,

the high that came from making pillowcases. It's like that first time he planted something. Yeah, it's like his drug. That's why he looks hungry. He was doing his drug all night. Pillow's. I've been hard in the pillow game. I've been hard in the pillow pain. You don't really realize how much your life is being ruined until it's ruined. I've been hard in the pillow game. I'm in hard in the pillow pain. You don't really realize how much your life is being ruined until it's ruined and then you're surrounded by pillows. Just surrounded a pit of pillows.

I didn't do it. I didn't make a pillow last night and I saw a baby on the ceiling as a result. So, he's like, well, no me and I are trying to talk things through, but we don't really like speak the same language, you know? Like, I speak pillow and she speaks like, just sleep on the floor. Like, who does that? And it's that's like, well, we've been married 30 years and we still don't talk the same language.

He's like, yeah, why can't we work it out? Like, my parents. You'll be a good job there. You don't have little kids. Yeah. Well, it's like, it's one thing. It's like you guys, you and Naomi have a fundamental difference in how you viewed life and how you view your time

and what's important to you. And that's how you know your relationship ultimately is doomed at least at this moment. So this is not a rough patch of like, hey, you bought a car and you didn't tell me and that really pissed me off and I feel like my feelings aren't hurt. I need some space. This is a, we fundamentally have a different outlook on life. And so I don't know how they would ever get back together.

There's two kinds of people in life. There's the kinds of people who take an Uber and then want to hire their driver to be their life coach. And then there of people who take an Uber and then want to hire their driver to be their life coach. And then there's people who don't. Okay. You're just. Let's just boil it down. You're just two different people. Because yeah, I was in an Uber and this guy said his real job was being a life coach and I might call him, you know,

because like I have a list of things that's wrong with me, but I don't fix it. And it's not like you just but I don't fix it. And it's mostly just my life. Uber driver. Yeah, fix my life Uber driver. Which I mean, I guess it could happen. Yeah, no, you know, I've actually had two very strong Uber experiences in the past two days, where I, you know, I hate talking to Uber drivers. But in this case, they were chatted with me and they were two very interesting smart people. And I was like, really happy for them.

And I just hope that they have a wonderful, successful life. So I can see it. I wouldn't, I don't know if I'd have them as my life coach. I'm like, I don't know what sort of life coach is driving Uber. But then again, I'm a podcaster and I was driving Uber, which is sort of the same. Yeah, and you were coaching people on their life. You'd be like, we need to make a left up here. And then you would, you see, it's totally natural. I was, I was, you know, I'm a waiter. So when people say, what do you suggest? And then I suggest stuff. And then they order it.

I'm like, life coached. I just life coached. Yeah. Yeah. No, I life coached. I life coached in my Uber, like not often, but I remember one of my favorite Uber rides of all time was that one of my passengers was Maurice Jones Drew, who was the star running back of the Jackson Bill Jacks and Jackson Bill Jackwars. And he was in my car for like an hour. It was just, it was like Friday, it was rush hour and he had to go to the airport. And we were just talking and he was in my car for like an hour. It was just, it was like Friday, it was rush hour, and he had to go to the airport. And we were just talking, and he was like all inspirational and then I was giving him inspiration back

and I was like, oh my God, Reese Jones drew and I were like friends now. And that was his famous, you see? That look, look, he became a copes, life copes. And then he retired. He retired like a few months later. And I think we are Twitter friends, which is like really important to me at this very moment as we speak. You know what's really important to me? Super white, super tight pants on Thomas. Really love that he wore those again.

That feels really great. Moose Nuckle, you just walked around with his old man, Moose Nuckle. Oh, you are still friends? I was just, I was just vamping until we found out. No, no, it was important to start moving forward because no one really cares if I'm friends with Marie's Jones here on Twitter, it's not like we tweet at each other.

Well, I mean, you coach them and then you let them free. You can't just coach people and then keep them in your lives forever. They become deity, you know, it's like a bird. Push them out the boat. It's not the nose. It's not the nose. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so JD and T-Rap meet for lunch. And Thomas is like, yeah, I've been working out,

and JD is like, wow, I'm on the eight ounce free weights. And he does like him, he makes drinking beers. He's like, wow, wow, I got nine pounds of rosace in the show for it. And Thomas is like, you're single now. You might consider it, start working out. Those young ladies don't just fall off trees.

Actually, one time a young lady did fall off a tree and I took a home. Her name was Eliza Limehouse. Ha ha ha. She had a house and a laundry, hence the name. And she fell out of the house. It was a whole drama. So I've coached her to getting the ladder for that tree

and her life is never the laughing. We're the same. We're still Twitter friends this day. Yeah, JD's like the way of course the waitress comes, JD's like, I'll have a JD, a gentry and ginger. Well, that was a weird JD voice. But he's single now. It's different. Gentry and bad in place.

He's like, we don't sell that swill. Would you like a fucking Arnold Palmer, you old goose? Jentry and Bob and Blaze. She's like, we don't sell that swill. Would you like a fucking Arnold Palmer, your old goose? Would you like an empty box with dust on it? Is that what you mean by a gentry? Oh, is that like, gentry? Is that mean an invoice that you have to pay? You want an invoice with some ginger on it?

I know she just brings him like a back backlog of bills. Here you go. Would you like to drink these? She just brings them a log. So this is not even a backlog. Just a log. This is the best kind of tomasine where he gives people advice. Like you're losing in every sense of the word, sir.

Okay. What are you talking about? Nass told me you was single, not married anymore, but dock dock dock. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm using my mayer hands where I say dock dock dock dock. And Jay, these are the lips. We're staying friends and then cams big shower and Liz said, I really want to go with you Jay. I really want to go. And how do you say no to something like that? Oh, yeah. This is just begging you. Yeah. How do you say no to something like that? Yeah, this is just begging you, huh?

Yeah, how do you say no, right? Yeah, so JD is saying how the He and Elizabeth, it's important that they stay friends, which is like an ongoing theme. For this episode, like friends after a breakup. So, Betama says like, well, now JD, what you have to do is, as much as you like, or you have to separate. It's best. It's to stay away from Elizabeth. After all, the longer you stay with her, the less time you have to get some pussy with your cock and your pants. Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? Am I right?

What you gotta do? This is what's good for the kid. Get a home with this another home close to it put them in the home and then hire somebody else to look after them so you never have to see them again that's what kids really like where you have to be it's you have to be less of a George Wickham a more of a mr. Collins top of my hand you know, I'm saying, Rod and prejudice anyone, anyone. I'm like the Mr. Dossie, no. He's so embarrassing this guy. So JD's like, well, I appreciate the advice. What?

And he goes, no, that's a role reversal. So that's called a role reversal, what I just did. Because it's opposite day here in Charleston. In fact, I like to call it St. Charl's opposite day here in Charleston. In fact, I like to call it St. Charles opposite day. It's what's called black pants today. Get it! I'm a liberal today. So then it's Catherine at home and she's like...

Did you notice that Catherine theme? No. It's like. Wow, how like 1940s. Yeah, they were trying out some new tricks, the monochrome music today. They're like, let's just give everybody a different thing. I think Catherine's kind of a whistle girl. She's like,

Triches, she's like, all right, Paul, this is what I want to do for Catherine. Okay. Catherine 2018. Well, I'm bringing some whistle. Okay, Paul, this is what we're going to do. We go, you right Paul, this is what I want to do for Catherine, okay? Catherine 2018, well, I'm bringing some whistle, okay? Paul, this is what we're going to do. We go, you feel me, Paul? Okay. I like it.

I like it. Okay. Lock it in. Nailed it. Um, so, uh, Cameron calls Catherine. Uh, what were you going to say before I interrupted you? I just had to get that theme. I was literally going to say that, that they were talking on the phone and camera's like,

well, I had a baby shower. Sorry, you couldn't be there, but wouldn't you probably discuss and cake? That looked like a baby who's birthed out of it and no one wants to eat it, but you know, it's waiting. What can you do? Renob. Sorry, you couldn't come, but it is what it is. Had a great time. How are you on your sad little porch? You doing good? How's your phone? Is it in great condition like it normally is? It looked like that phone took a bullet from someone. It was like, it wasn't just cracked. There was like a hole in it. There was like, what happened?

Who's like, like, who tried to assassinate Catherine? And who, like, she just like saved her life was saved because she had to be holding up her iPhone to her chest. Yes, and it still works. God love you Apple. You know her fingers must be bloody because every time she's so I'm just like, oh, I just cut my cell phone. Just go.

I can only read a part of the article because I can't swipe up. She can never do it again. She said yes on Tinder so many times only because it hurts that hurts less to say yes than it does to swipe the other way. She's like, I'm an artist now. There's an easel with a really good painting behind it. Yeah, I noticed that first. I don't know, but I noticed it was really good. I think that's a good idea. Like if it's not if you're not an artist, just get art like from I don't know Ross, like one of those printed canvases and then just put it on an easel on your porch. And people will think you're an artist even if

you're not. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it too. Maybe she should start an Etsy shop too. Then Craig and Catherine can have rival Etsy shops and they can have like their own reality show on CNBC. Art and P. So, yeah, so they talk and Catherine's like, yeah, well, I've decided to have lunch with Ashley because, you know, she's around my kids and I want to make sure she's not crazy. Yeah, I mean, there's already a two-rab. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll

feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So it's, you know, yeah, those kids are screwed. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, unless you find a station wagon to just run far far away and y'all change your names, then you could change them their names Yeah, well, so yeah, so she reaches she reached out to Ashley and so she's gonna be having lunch with Ashley and then we

We go over to ship Sheep walks into a bar during the day. I don't know if you know this is but there was some guy in the restaurant It's sitting at the bar and he's just like watching ship like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, it's happening. I'm finally witnessing a Southern Charm taping. I cannot wait to watch ship, not get any poutine right now. This is amazing. Uh, get to watch ship, get shot down in public again. It's like a new sightseeing tour in Charleston. So he's with Peyton Who I guess is on his show some girl from his show. She yeah, that was like the one episode I saw Peyton was on it So she's found her place

No one get it. No, wait no, I don't get it Peyton place. Oh, yeah Still don't get it Okay, it's. She's actually I heard that she's in in Watsuhatchee. It's getting it's a TV show now. Yeah, it was like the first like nine times over something like that. But actually, so young person don't understand old references like that. I wrote a paper about Pain Place in college. Oh my God, man. We're at minute 31. Sorry. So Peyton, so we learned, so Peyton is from LA, but she just moved to Charleston and now she's like a life coach and Uber driver.

And so she's hanging out with the chef and she's working, actually she's working in doggy daycare. And she got P-DON. And as she was like, she's like, yeah, this is like great day in P-DON. I mean, I was like, I thought we were bros. And as my boyfriend mentioned, it's like, that's the dog wave showing that you are bros. He's not just territory. Yes, he's keeping you forever. Also, that's probably how shit does it do.

I mean, it's probably just drunken lean bed on accident, but still, you know. And he's like, what are the dogs like on the west coast? How do they compare to here? I said it. I said it. I said it. And she's like, um, well, they're more polite here.

Well, except for getting beat on everything. He's like, so he's like, we dated last year. And then they show a clip from the show where he's like, guards, think I'm into someone else more than you. And she's like, really? Is that the one time that he didn't get dumped on his own show? Because I think a lot of that he just kept getting dumped by the girls. They were like, I'm leaving.

I don't know. I didn't watch enough. I did not watch enough of relationship to know. But he is like, I have never not been friends with someone updated after the fact. I mean, as long as you have an attack or boardly wounded a family member, we're going to be fine. I'm like, that's easy for you to say. You got like these women or just like, now there's like traumatized, like I'm still in

love with you or whatever. Like, you know, I just feel like it's such a convenient thing to be like, oh, we're still friends and she's like, clearly like still as hearts in her eyes. I mean, do we not forget, do we do we forget Landon when she was like, I think I love you. Ha ha ha. I'm glad to roll our skateboardy for you.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So he has big news to share with Peyton. She's just moved and made this heat life change and he's like, me too, I want trivia. I'm a trivia night at home team. Home team is my home away from home. Mostly because it's called home, so Uber takes me there when I'm drunk. Yeah, I figured out the the the clenching question that let us win. Well, it was a question about

the brothers Karmasov. Garsh, have you read it? So good. So many brothers, so many games that look the same. Garsh. She's like, were they in Vietnam? Oh my gosh, you're the perfect man. I'm totally watching that on PBS right now. They're like, you're a patent. Here's your pizza.

She's like, I'm just gonna eat my feelings right now. Well, she got a TV show out of it. So yeah, well, she's now moved on to Austin because you apparently went and hung out with him. They had dinner at the paella place. That's he lives apparently above a paella restaurant, which is kind of funny. And then they watched a movie at his place. So chef was like, Oh, anti-garish. Yeah. Yeah I like that's what that is yeah, you get a nice hat from your haberdashery I mean he's based like well I load up the bases and he just you know He locks them all my guess. Oh

So gross and she's like yeah, we just uh went to dinner and goes where? Because the fire place and he's like ah pie in place right under his apartment. Wow gosh Gorsh so he's making a huge gar sin effort there He starts kidding man. I'm also this place is about Manors right everybody's like the man is this is how man is work How is nobody told chef to close his goddamn mouth when he's eating Man, it's work. How is nobody told Chef that closest goddamn mouth when he's eating? And what sort of pay a place is in Charleston anyway. Yeah, it's just like white rice.

It's just like white rice. Barbecue in it. Okay, so now they gave Catherine new music again for her next scene, but this one is like fart music because through a new music again for her next scene. But this one is like fart music, it goes. BAM. BAM. BAM. BAM. Which is just rude.

You don't go from whistling to farts. I don't know what they're thinking of Catherine. Well, they're blowing air out from one end of the body. I don't like it. BAM. BAM. BAM. Maybe like your speakers are messed up.

Maybe you're like, they're just like the story. I dare you. They are not messed up. Go listen to it again. Everybody. It is fart music. Okay. Thomas made that music. Yeah. So Catherine and Ashley hug Catherine gives her patented cold hug which is really good at and Ashley gives her patented fake compliments. She's like, oh you picked such a good pretty color for you. Good for you. And you wore your flats, which is good because I know your tall, which is like, big leaf feels passive aggressive because from what I know from tall women, because I seem to be friends with a lot of tall women, they hate when people point

out that they're tall. Yeah, she's being rude the whole time. Everything she says is totally cut fitnessy. Every single thing she said that comes out of her mouth she's like oh I'm so nice oh my god get for you with flats and then Catherine gets her back though because she's like yeah I'm 5'11 but Thomas thinks we're the same height which has always been really funny to me it's like you called their man short school and for Catherine don't try and get passive aggressive with the queen, okay?

Actually. So, um, Ashley, um, first of all, Ashley then is like, well, do you want to have a drink? You want to have a drink? You can have a drink, right? You can certainly have an alcoholic beverage. There's no reason why he wouldn't want to have the one of those, right?

She's like, I'm sober. God, no kidding. Bay, bait, much lady. So, um, Catherine's like,'m sober. God no kidding. Bay bait much lady. So um Catherine's like well I figured it would be good to get to know each other. So go ahead and do a monologue while I yon through my hands and look across the restaurant in case Jennifer Snowden decides to show up and really make this a hellish fucking date for me. So Ash just like, well, I'm really glad that you met up because I thought you're going to be crazy. And my parents thought I was crazy because, you know, they Google Thomas and they're like,

what the fuck? He's a disaster, but you know, love is love and I moved out here. And then I, you know, we're banging for about three days and then I met your kids on Mother's day. Yes. Oh my God. So she's horrible. This woman, I cannot believe Catherine didn't just reach out and start

throttling her. Who says that? The first I fucked, I flexed your guy up when not your guy, but I fucked your ex. Then some bar came out the next weekend, took all your friends and I spent Mother's Day with your kids. What? And now here I am talking to my Terry Garmaic up. What kind of monster is this woman? Yeah.

And how has she not been on TV for 10 years? I know. And what we learned is that, well, according to Catherine, it's against the agreement for Thomas to introduce a romantic interest to the kids, I guess, probably without Catherine's approval or whatever, but he basically violated the thing. And she's like, you know, if I violate it, one small slip up and, you know, I lose everything.

Again, I lose everything. He, but he can do it no matter what, which could just go to show, you know, that just this sort of the state of affairs here in Charleston, if you're a man with money. And I was like, yeah, probably. And it's probably not just Charleston. Yeah. Well, she didn't throttle her. She was very mature through this whole thing. Even Ashley was like, whoa, you're so mature because she's like, if Thomas thinks he can have a serious relationship, then I want that for him for the children's sake,

less people coming in and out, you know, the less purses that Thomas throws in the pool, the better, you know, the less purses that Thomas throws in the pool the better, you know for everybody For every She's like that is so mature. Oh my god. That is so mature for a giant who's probably living in a forest because she can't fit in a normal size house Have you met my friend Deodra? She used to be Thomas's nanny, but not she's my friend So I bring her around all the time to you don't have problem with that, right? I brought my fan to your D-Dri, but they don't have extra chairs.

Can she sit on your lap? Could you mind that? So I'm death and flat. So Cameron is with her friend Leva and Danny. And every time I hear Leva, I just think of a delicious bread. Is that weird? What do I think of that? Levinning? What do I think about Levinning? No, because there is a bread, there is lavash.

Lavash, there we go, lavash. Oh my gosh. Which is from the lavash. Lavant and Leva is basically two letters away from being the lavant. You know, this is what totally, this is totally what Shepard say. Garsh LeVarsh. OK, so thank you for clarifying that. So Leva had to miss the baby sour because she stubbed her toe.

And he goes, that's a little dramatic. Says the woman who fainted in Key West. Truth. So she's like, do you at least want to smell this wine pregnant lady Says the woman who painted in Key West. True. So she's like, do you at least want to smell this wine pregnant lady? Because they're both pregnant at the same time. And Captain Cameron's like, I can't wait. It's going to taste so good. She's like, are you going to pump and dump LaVache?

And she's like, I don't know. I'm going to do what's right for me in the moment, whatever. And then Danny says, what is that? And she goes, well, if you drink, you have to pump your milk and dump it. And she goes, isn't what, won't wine just help the baby sleep? Finally, it's like, finally, someone knows how to raise children around here. Jesus.

Uh, so then we cut to Chelsea driving somewhere where there are hair all up in her face. And then she arrives at the beach where her dad is and he's going to be fishing and he's like putting bait on his fishing pole. And she's like, you're the master baiter. I'm like, that's your dad. It's your dad. She's like, even she's like, I guess that's not pretty common for us. Probably inappropriate for me to say it to my dad, right?

And he's like, obviously, where do you have a knife? And I was like, have you? Oh my God. Having on my little whore daughter? I know they're doing everything they can to be like, chills his country. She's like, hey, Diane. She's like, I brought you a present.

It's a fly ass. She's a minister, Vader. And then on her way there, it's like, the wind is blowing in her face. I'm like, that's great, except she can't see. Like, how is she driving? This is dangerous. She has so much hair in her face.

And she is a hair dresser. Okay, she should know better. So yeah. The driver in a Jeep or something. Get a goddamn scrunchie. So yeah. She's putting public safety at risk. And also they're like,

look, Chelsea's real country because the music's like, I'm like, Trixi Monaco hired a banjo player for this. Come on. Trixi is like, you know, she is stretching. She is like, she's, she basically is started. You know, remember she, she went away on Vanderpump rules for a few songs and then she tried

to make it on her own and she came back to the world of royalty-free music. And she's like, you know what, if I'm going to be in royalty-free music, I'm going to be the best gosh darn royalty-free musician there is. And I'm going to bring it. I'm going to do all the genres. I am going to be the Beyonce of royalty free music. So I'm going to be giving, I'm giving you whistle music. I'm giving you fart music. I'm giving you banjo music. I am a tricky mother fucking monocle. Yeah, and it was a really rough meeting when they were like, Trixi, we cannot bring an abanjo player you've asked for so much if she's like fine. I'll do a whistle song I'm like okay Trixie

Okay, she's like all right go out there go out there find someone else find someone else to do my music and see what you find Okay, I'm Trixie Monical. I'm gonna do a banjo song. You think it kills me, okay Paul get a banjo We're doing this right now. I don't know if youjo song you think it kills me, okay Paul get a banjo. We're doing this right now I don't know if you've heard but the queen is me I am the queen I am the queen. I know this god save the queen gosh darn it now. I'll screw down Scream at my own songs. That's it. I get a banjo player. I'm out of here. My mind is about to spread with this argument. Okay, Trix and cheese. I want my banjo and I want it now. Chelsea's like, all right, we got a banjo scene. Good. I'm gonna let my

hair fly in my face. Mom will kill somebody on the road. I'm ready for this scene, Dad. Okay, so basically she just hangs out with her dad and she's like, but Dad, what if I don't have kids and get married, won't you be disappointed? He's like, I have three kids. One of them's got to have a baby. You don't need to have babies, okay? Yeah, I mean, basically her dad and her mom divorced when she was three, but they stayed friends after they broke up again, the theme, which is now come up like this is a third time it's come up. And they've stayed friends and every other weekend they would like meet at a hooters in Augusta

to celebrate this a family like hang out as a family. So she's like, oh my all-motometer hooters. So I was like, okay. Is Bravo getting money from hooters? Or really just really lowering their aim and their casting process? It seems a lot of hooters on these shows. It seems off process. It seems off brand. It seems off brand. Taco Bell makes sense, but hooters seems off brand. We'll talk about make sense because it's ironic talk about. You know what I mean?

It's like where adulting, but sometimes they're still cares. Like talk about. It's ironic. This is just hooters. There's no irony in hooters. OK. So Chelsea says that basically, when I said as a child, when I went to a hooters, I said, mom, dad, there's no irony in a hooters.

Take me to the Olive Garden. So Chelsea also said, by the way, before we wrap up the scene, that her breakup with Austin It was like losing a member of the family because her whole family really took Austin in I'm like you guys like bone for like three weeks, you know like wow If losing Austin is like losing a member of the family like what sort of family members like what sort of relationships Are there in this family? It's all sad because she told her story and it was really sad. Her parents got divorced and she was really young and her mom's really mean.

And her dad's really fun like a friend. But and then they went to hooters and stuff. I mean, it was really sad. I mean, look, here's all I can tell her. Don't take in old boyfriends. In the words of Doreet from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, get the dog from Vandepump dogs if you're lonely. Yeah, she should.

So now we see Catherine and Dan. She's got life coach lonely. Yeah, she should. Yeah. So now we see Captain in the... Just got life-goached. You just got life-goached. So Rita's the Uber driver in Charleston. Guys, before I drop you up in the next destination, would you like to have a puppy from Vandipump dogs? They're great, great dogs. Would you like some mints of Godam in the back seat, also a puppy?

In case you want it Good I'm sorry. I know you have to get to your destination But I just have to stop here and go into ride eating just checking on my Beverly Beach sales. Excuse me Your Uber driver. It says two minutes and she shows up like two hours later. I thought we had a window I there was so much traffic. I worry about the time. For sure, I thought I was supposed to be here an average an average now. I actually think I'm early now. So now we go into the meat of the episode in minute 46. We still have something to do. By the way, oh my god. Okay, then let's speed through. One of the important things. What do we got to get to here? Okay, so the it's a girls night versus boys night the girls have girls night The boys have boys night

Which is also what's happening on Southern Charm new Orleans holy mother. Oh my god So the girls are getting ready in a hotel for the girls night and then Ashley and Trabber together and Ashley is about to go off to a Bachelorette party and she's like look I have a bunch of fun gifts for the to the Bachelorette party look It's like mug shots look isn't that funny and he's like well It's a bit much you know and You would like to have a mug shot right? My mom Googled you and he's like well, I don't know if I want you to go to that party. Yeah. And she's like, well, what about guys? Guys,

night, she's like, I get worried because you're such a stud. And it's like, I don't worry about you. I just worry about the other girls. I'm like, I think everyone who has eyeballs and a functioning brain is going to stay far away from Thomas Ravanaugh. brain is gonna stay far away from Thomas Ravenel. Yeah, her mug shot is the gold digger. And then she's like, I know who I can give this to. It says baby mama. And he's like, I'm not amused by any of this. I was just my moose knuckle and magines now for a moment. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And then she's like, well, I speaking of baby mama, I left my lunch with her

pleasantly surprised. I mean She didn't drink she didn't do the hair when I put out on the table She didn't use the knife to stab me. I gave her a machete. It's like oh, Jesus It's like she did everything he told her and she still didn't fall for it And so Thomas is not happy and this is right after the bathing scene or it's very close to the baiting scene master to bait her so master beta which is so Thomas say he's like all right go to this lunch Try and get her to drink Then it's good this and he's not happy that it didn't work. He's been foiled

Um, and she's like well, I don't trust you because you're a stud and he's like well. I'm not a piece of meat I have feelings and she goes do you and he goes well, well, I'm not a piece of meat. I have feelings and she goes, do you? And he goes, well, that's what I tell him. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I say, je feel les shows. That's French for a feel the things. Yeah. So then, you know, one of them, right? One of them.

So then things start to split up. Like, it starts going back and forth between these girls and I and the boys and I. And the girls have, they've taken over a hotel suite and Catherine and Danny have pulled all the sheets off the bed, which is like, what's the whole point of being a hotel? That someone makes your bed. And they put it all on the floor.

And they're like, we're gonna just lie on the comforter on the floor with pillows, which sounds really uncomfortable to me. And then when Chelsea comes in, they're like, Chelsea sit on the floor with us. She's like, why would I sit on the floor when there's furniture? I'm like, exactly. That's exactly my like, enjoy sitting on the floor on the comfort. The comfort is not a mattress. It's not going to be soft down there.

I like when she came over and there's this sculpture of a hand and all these bananas in the hand. And she's like, what are we supposed to be learning how to put on condoms with these bananas and catch her and goes, I should take that class. Yeah. Naomi also shows up and we learned that Naomi and Elizabeth had a conversation like two days ago and where they just sort of tried to smooth things over and Elizabeth is like, it's not up for you to understand.

Like, I can't just walk away from gentry bourbon. It's such a wonderful bourbon. Yeah. In the background. It's like you don't have to understand it. No one's ever understood why I'm with JD. They're not gonna start to understand it yet now. I had four kids with a guy. You want to talk about confusing? Just let me be me. Just let me be me. That's what he was saying when you saw the cake last week. So then we go to a bar where the guys are gathering and Austin's there first.

I was like, wow, look at that celebrity. He's just like such a star in this bar. You know, they know me a little spotlight. He's like, hello, it's me off team. So Chris, they're basically they're going to try and get Craig laid. Um, so that's their story. And Thomas, you know, she has to be disgusting, which he does really well. You got to hand it to him. The guy, the guy has a job and he feels it very well.

He's disgusting and every guy dancing, he's in. I feel like Kanye West's next tweet is going to be about gonna be about how much he admires Thomas Ravinell. I feel like it's just world, the world is going in that direction. So I like when Winnie and T. Rav arrive, Winnie is like, hey bro, hey bro, and he sees Krega's, you've been working out. You look cut, bro.

You look cut, bro. I'm like, you're 85 years old. And keep it in your mouth, bro. I'm like that. Okay, Reno, let's just relax. You're 85 years old. Keep it from Amon. Stop talking about how he looks. Cut, bro. You look cut, bro. Do you even lift?

Do you even Jim, bro? Um, so, chef is like, it's time for Austin. He's like, okay, guys. Well, Craig is in the bathroom. I want to bring and introduce him to the wild, okay? Gars! I can't shoot this guy. Gars, I wonder if he even has the fucking nuts to do that. He hates the wild. Gars, city kid.

By the way, I don't know if you guys know where we are, but we're in America. Fuck yeah, course hat You know, that's crazy about the wild you never know if there's gonna be a landmine. Oh gosh Sorry, I've been watching the Vietnam War again. I love that Ken Burns. You know what else I love doing burning Craig Ah, that was a burn too. I just crossfaded my burns together I've got so many burns. I'm the villain from the Simpsons course. So the closer it at a bar now and Chelsea's ex. So you guys own Bumble and Captain's like, oh, I'm so excited to tell you I forgot Austin's

on Bumble. I mean, from what I could see through the cracks on my iPhone, I think it was Austin It could have also been an ad for a Vitamix Austin's on bumble and I think that he's really he's really fractured about your relationship Really broken him up He has five heads now, it's so weird. I Never noticed that he has a face and a diamond shape. Oh, so Chelsea's like, I have busted him on so many bumble dates. God, one time I brought him into my family and I found out he had a date with my mom that night.

So then there's like, Hey, Danny, when did you have sex last? And she's like, we can have a girl. Like you had sex with Todd. She's like, yeah, I'm like, who is Todd? Do we meet Todd? Is that her? Yes. I don't remember.

Has Bender or her fiancee or whatever. I don't remember his name. I just remember he had dad pants and I wasn't into him. I seem to remember hearing that Danny was not too pleased with us for making fun of that guy. I'm sorry. Sorry. Go watch that video. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Go watch that love.

Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love.

Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love.

Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. Go watch that love. trying to help you just got life catched. Okay, so then they're asked you like, what about you Naomi? How long are you going to go without sex? And she's like, well, it's been six months because like towards the end, we were just fighting so much. And it's like, I don't want to have sex with you when I'm mad. I'm like, you're missing the best kind of sex, Naomi. And of course, the waiter is there trying to pour wine. And he's just like blushing. And then I think at this point, they're just trying to fuck with him because just like well that's

why I have vibrators and cat and it's like mine is waterproof. So I can do my what I can vibrate anywhere and under any sort of water and the waiter's like me too girl me too. So the boys back with the boys they're telling Craig how to talk to a girl and Thomas is like well first you bring a cow to a father and then you wait for the big dance and you wait for her to be dancing and you're cut on in there. Girls love when you're cut in. Yeah. What you got to do is you got to send a letter from your country home to their country home inviting them to a ball at your country home.

And then when the ball is happening, you have to stand by her and then ask her eventually, would you care to dance and hopefully her sisters won't get in the way? I'm like, you're just talking about pride and prejudice again, aren't you? It's like what you do is you pretend that you don't like a young lady. And then by the end it figures you both don't like each other, but that's why you like each other. Do you hear me now?

Wait a minute. What you have to do is you have to harbor a secret about Mr. Wickham. And then in the end it all comes out and you just take a nice stroll around the estate and just fuck her, you know what I'm saying? It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my-

It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my-

It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my-

It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's my- It's He just curled like that, the anger. It's like that weird, like, throttle, male rage where he was like, they'll come to you. It's your God giving right to have a lady. They'll come to you. Yeah.

Jesus. Yeah, he's disgusting. Like, he's too gross for lifetime. Like, he couldn't even be a lifetime villain because he's so gross and he's just one of those that won't stay down, you know? Yeah. So let's see. of lifetime feeling because he's so gross and he just he's just one of those that won't stay down, you know. Yeah. So let's see.

So Craig's like, well, unfortunately, we're from different eras. So what was gentlemanly and then is like, it's kind of creepy now, you know, like you can't just bring a coward to someone's home and exchange it for their child. That's a little sense. Well, since when? I gave Ashley a lovely donkey. Her mother still riding it to this day. I can do whatever I want with her now.

I sort of the more of like, here's a pillow. Do you want to go on a date? That's my style. That's called pussybother and Craig. Get with it. So, Chef is behind them talking to a table of 20-year-olds as Chef does. So back to the girls of 20-year-olds as Chef does So back to the girls Naomi's like oh Craig

He makes me so mad and then he sent me a text like this long it's like as long as my arm and then he's like I don't understand why I didn't work and Chelsea's like Remember when you said you had a tracker on him. Check. I do that wasn't a joke like you wait for them to get a bed And then you turn look a son indefinitely on their phone on him, I do, that was in a joke. You wait for them to get a bed, and then you turn look at some on indefinitely on their phone. Yeah, I have to take some. No, it's like, she's like, she's like a happy stalker. I've never seen such a, just like, yeah, I know I'm totally stalking, I look him up on Google,

I look him up on social media, it's just like my favorite thing to do. And I was like, yes, girl, yes. Could we all do it? I love doing an internet talk on someone. Just like even if it's like some random person I hooked up with like five years ago, sometimes I'll be like, what, I think up to.

And I'll just go like, tch tch tch. Nice to know that someone, it feels validating to know that somebody puts the location tracker on, you know? Cause I was always telling Shannon Bedore on the podcast, not in real life. I don't know her in real life. But on the podcast, I'm like, put on your location tracker. What kind of marriage is this? Like it would always

infuriate me. Yeah. Well, as the meet also though, to be honest, as Demetria said on Bloodswean Heels, the moment you have to start like going into someone's emails or putting trackers on. It's kind of like the trust has already lost. So, um, yeah. So Craig, meanwhile, he's at the bar in Austin's, like, you know, Craig is like not, he's just not ready to meet girls yet. He's just like, he's still in love with Naomi, basically. And Austin's trying to be like, yeah, you want me to meet some pretty girls? And he's like, I don't want to meet these girls. He's like, why? It to send pretty girls and he's like, I don't want to meet these girls. He's like, why?

It's meeting pretty girls, not fun. He's like, what if I don't think that they're pretty? I was actually so glad that he said that, not because that they were ugly, but like, you know, sometimes, what are my least favorite things when I was single was when people would just be like, oh, here is like another person and you are single,

so you just will naturally like this person. Like, you didn't even consider what I like in a person like this is not this is not what I like So I was like good stand up for yourself Greg. Well chef doesn't care. It's just like a lazy season for Craig for chef You know, he's like callers. Look at him. He passed his he passed his bar exam and he's an adorn his girls. He's like Like walking away and steps like I'm with him. I know a lawyer anyone want to touch my America hat Craig does need a woman in lazy season because that's exactly what he wants Someone who's lazy like you just like I can be at home with my pillow and then she can just sort of like rotate around and bring me a drink Yeah, she can be on the pillow

Yeah, she can rotate around and bring me so then the guys leave the bar to go to next the next the next bar and Tom's like, well, I got my wallet, I got my cell phone, I got my cock. Wow, we see it. You might want to pick your balls up off the floor though. That's going to hurt at some point. So steps like, um, car or Kar so I hear you went out with our good friend Peyton You know the girl I brought into our circle Again, I know you hooked up. Don't lie Austin. Don't lie Nostra's like

We have a higher yeah, okay. You had your chance and you blew it. So check it out. It's not about the paella Check it out. It's not about the paella Wiping his nose And it's like would you even tell me and Austin goes well clearly the cat is out of the bag He's like what cat What cat he's like looking down around around his feet. He's like, oh, he cats. So they get to the next bar and basically Craig talks to some girls for like two seconds to sort of do lip service. And then he's like, fine. He just zips out of there, which is exactly what I would do. And then it's like the next day and Craig goes to the willow salon.

Which else is working. And what music Craig gets today. He gets what? Blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, blink, plink, plink, plink, plink, plink, plink, plink, plink. There really are tricks these were orchestral skills are killing me. These are really getting every scene together. So Chelsea's like, what do you want to do? Handsome, you need an X-A, master baiter, still make yourself laugh over there when I went. That was good. We should also mention that Craig also pushes on the pull door, which I felt like we've all done that, but for some reason watching Craig do it is just especially enjoyable.

So yeah, so she's giving Craig a nice little haircut, and he's like, you know, to talk about Naomi, and she's like, well, can't you guys just talk? Can't you guys just have a nice little talk? Be too little masterbiteers talking together? And then Naomi. And he's like, well, like, we keep talking, can't you guys just have an awesome talk be to the masterbiter's talking together and then I only am you like well like we keep talking like we're gonna talk but then we don't talk is that follow through god damn it life coach so hard cuz she's like French and I'm not French and like sometimes

we're just in different languages and like I'm like no me you stop speaking French she's always like Craig I'm literally speaking English I'm like I don't understand your French. Like, I'm a La Croix and she's a La Croix. So it's like hard. It's like hard for us to get together. Yeah. You know what you call a, a, a bubbly beverage that enables a hideous person? La Croix beer man. Anyway. So anyway, long story short Naomi and Craig meet up. That's what a long story long. So Naomi and Craig meet up at like a place. They're gonna talk because Craig is basically hinting that he kind of wants to get back together. Or well, he's being a little mixed. He's saying he sort of wants to get back together, but he's also like, I want to know where we stand because like, should I start to look for other girls? Or is this just like a break, not a break up, etc?

Oh god, it's so quiet. Fomey, hashtag, Jerry. Hashtag, I had you a hello, right? It's like no Craig. This scene is so hilarious because he probably does. Has because he really helped me help you, Nomi. He really just wants to hear whatever he wants to hear. And she's like, you idiot. You know, it's so funny to watch.

He's like, he's so basically, I just want to say, like, if you wanted to get back together, like, I would love that. She's like, Craig, I don't know. And he goes, how could you not know? She's like, um, like things have to change. She's like, I'm getting a life coach. And well, the thing is he keeps changing his sort of his stance. Like he keeps changing. It was like very frustrating because he's like, oh, I'm getting a life coach, which is I think is by the way, very admirable. I think it's good that he's at least taking some sort of step. And she's like, well, that's really good,

but I'm not gonna get back together with you until I actually start to see changes. And he's like, oh, all right, cool. Then we're not getting back together. And she's like, Craig, she's like, no, I'm just saying, if you're like, it's easy to say you're gonna get a life coach. What I need to see is an actual change or whatever. And he's like, say you're not even gonna try.

And she's like, she's like, like she's actually turning into a can of lacroix, lacroix that has been shaken. And she's like about to like open it up, open up that tab. And so- And so- And he's like, you say I don't do what I'm saying. I'm gonna do, but like I said, I was gonna get a haircut.

I got a haircut. I said I was gonna pass the bar. I'm in the top 93% all in the entire country and I have good hair. I said I was gonna get a property and now I got a property and I watch programs every night while I make pillows with Sean with good hair and a bar exam pass.

So. I said I was gonna have breakfast this morning and I totally had breakfast. I said I was gonna put gas in the car and I was going to put gas in the car. But I didn't get to, but that's only because the gas station was closed, but I like would have. So that counts, I think, I believe. I said I was gonna go to sleep at 11 p.m. and I didn't go to sleep till 1 a.m. But if you think about it in a different time zone, that's actually 11 p.m.

So I'm really like five or five on all these things. Hey waiter, do you think that I'm like do what I say? Like I said, I would like a course and now I have a course teller teller. Well, and he also said like she was also saying, I forget was it. Yeah, I think it was her. She was saying like, I've spent three years like clinging on to this bullshit that you're always saying and he just starts laughing as really because I remember passing the bar. I'm like, I've spent three years like clinging on to this bullshit that you're always saying and he just starts laughing as really because I remember passing the bar. I'm like, that's great that you've finally did pass the bar after lying about it and like teasing us or whatever and dragging you're into some sort of like having to cover for you, but that's like not enough. And so he's when he goes,

tell me what I, what I, what I tell me what I said I do that I didn't do. Tell me what I said I do that I didn't do. And she's like, um, you said you'd wake up in the morning and be a productive member of society. And he's like, ah, see, that's attacking. And he's like, you are awful. That is awful. Like, how is that attacking?

You just said you're getting a life coach to teach. So that way you'll start waking up early and being a productive member of society So why is it attacking when she said well you said you would be productive member So funny and she goes you make me crazy Craig like I can't even talk to you and he's like well I tried to give you a chance She's like what you tried to give me a chance and he's like yeah Like you treat me like the devil like I didn't even do anything to you I mean you treat me like the devil. Like I didn't even do anything to you. Like you treat me like the devil.

So like you don't listen, you just talk over people and that is why we can't get together. He's like, oh, what? He was cracking me up. He's like, he put me down every time we talk. And I don't want to be with you unless you can be that sort of me. Like, uh, yeah, I love this.

So now he's turning it into him breaking up with her. Yeah, he's like, I think you're angry because you can't figure out a reason that we're not together. And she's like, oh my god, literally, I've explained to you my issues. Like, she's like, I have said you just sit around all day making pillowcases. I don't want that out of a boyfriend. That's my issue. So you really haven't pinpointed what issue it's, huh? Well So I guess that means we're not getting back together. I'm like you're the one who said you're not getting back together after she's said that she wants to see a change Like I'm finding he goes because I want to be with you But I mean you can't help somebody who's like obvious. He just gets up and walks off

Oh, so I guess I'm not taking you back. Okay, or I'm not all right. We're not gonna be with Craig take my advice sales sir Preferably leases go high-end auto leases, okay? Just do that because you'd be great at that. That's how people are in those dealerships. Like you walk in, you're like, I'm just looking because I wanted to see what a fiat's like. They're so little cute. Yeah. I can't afford that. I think that credit. Oh, so you can afford one and you've got credit that we can work with great. Why don't you wait here? No, I'm leaving. Oh, so you're staying great. I'm glad you want to free M&M's who are in our waiting room.

That sounds great. Enjoy yourself. You know, I've grown to really like Craig. I do feel like he's very sweet, but it's like as far as we can tell, it doesn't seem like he understands this idea that like, yes, you can make your pillowcases and garden and that's actually really great. But if you keep on talking about how you want to get your shit together, you want to do this and that, whatever, like that's like Naomi wants to be with someone who lives a certain lifestyle and you're

not living that lifestyle. So like either change your lifestyle or just accept that you're just living a different sort of life and just move on because it's like ridiculous at this point. So you're saying that I should just wait for Naomi to come to her senses and come back to me? Great. Um, okay. I guess I'll just not make you a pillowcase like I was planning to know me.

All right. So now for some Southern Sean Nolan's. Yeah. Let's check it on Southern term. No, I'll watch it back all the back on Sunday. Um, my big takeaway is that the nasal voices on the show are getting out of control because John Moody, the artist, the hunky artist, he went on a date with some like foe to you like to kill a girl who was like, she's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hey, I'm gonna have my own apartment in the city and you're not gonna be part of it.

We're gonna have bitters here because my family like a scene. John's state was a very funny scene. He's like, hey, sweetie, sweetie. Can we order some drinks? I'm like, who talks like that to anybody really, but especially your weight risk, who are you? Stop it. Oh, God. This one. And yeah, super douchey.

The big thing of the episode was that there was going to be a guy's night and the lady's night, right? That was like the big crux of it. That was the big drums. That John Moody decided to have. He's like, it's gonna be a bro night. So all the guys went over to John's place and he's like, well, we're gonna be painting.

And of course, here come the models and they're naked. So I was like, oh my God, naked models. You know, they're like, oh, oh, yeah. So then the women are, well, it's just to Mika and Reagan, but I guess they are the only women, right? Who else is on this show? Yeah, there are only two like main cast members, right? So you're right. They're the only two, but there's like a lot of

side women. Well, there's the women, which we'll talk about in a moment, but like, there are a lot of side women, but they're the only two main women, I think. Yes, because Reagan has been house hunting for herself, because she just wants her own place in the French court to get away from her husband. And he's like, oh, that hurts. God, that really hurts. I think, well, it's no fast to yell.

It's just that like, I don't want to be impromptu because like, I'm going to school and then you're like not going to school. And I'm like, I'm going to go to school. I'm like, I need to rest. And like, you're the right. I'm like, even right now, like you're right behind me. And you're like, what can't me what I'm like, I'm gonna go to school. I'm like, I need to rest and like, you're there. And it's like, even right now, like you're right behind me. And you're like, what can't be what I'm doing?

What are you doing? Guess what? I'm always sweating. Like, I can't study if you're gonna sweat on me. Like, it's just too much for me. Yeah. And he's like, well, now that you've brought my mother issues into evidence,

so I can talk about that. And it really hurts and I feel left out. And she's like, oh my god I don't want to make you feel like that. It's okay. Come over but like I'm sorry that you feel like that. Oh So on girls night with them. You can you tell I worked on that? Yeah, I Had worked on it earlier in the week and I just totally lost it She know without the gutter roll. Yeah.

It's not, it's not like that. It's not like that. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah. It's like, oh, no. No, it's forward, not backwards. Okay. That was forward.

Now it's forward. Yeah, I don't know. But then John Moody's girl is like, so if Reagan's like fast, then John Moody's gonna say, like, yes. So it's like, he's like, I'm like, you're here. like so if Reagan's like fast then John would just go like yes she goes on his day that girl's like I'm an honest with you. I was and what I wanted out of relationship. I'm like, okay, so you're a big honest, you know, and he goes, well, to get married, you know, I want a consistent

10 million in the bank account because I'm a man and that's what men do. What planet are you living on, sir? He is so full of bullshit that guy. He's just at the classic, like, I'm, I've got a super amazing body and I do art and I'm just gonna say bullshit things and pretend that's like what artists are like. I'm like, oh, you're driving me nuts.

And I hate to do that. I'm gonna paint my art in my underwear on camera. It's like, oh geez, for Christ's sake. And so, so he actually said, he's telling the producer in the diary room. He's like, I love women. I love the way you smell. It's like he's talking to the producer with this hilarious. It's like you're even hitting on the producer. Like, leave her alone, sir. And he goes, he goes, it's my akinly heel, honestly. I was like, oh, Jesus. And he showed up earlier. He was like in like a Maroon turtle neck.

Like he was in Wadwag country. And then like someone shows up and they're like, it is 89 degrees out. And you're like, he's like in a red turtle neck. And he goes, well, bro, Steve Jobs, you don't touch Steve Jobs' turtle neck. It's like Steve Jobs wore black turtle neck. Can you make any sense?

Yeah, so anyway, so ladies night. Reagan and Tameca are talking. Oh yeah, so Tameca's like, oh, so you're getting hashtag. Yeah, I'm doing my own playing. It's like in a French quarter because I mean, this steady and he's like sweaty. I'm not going to deal with that because I'm going to be a lawyer. Okay. And she's like, well, I think that's weird that you're not gonna live with your husband. Ah, well, I guess you think it's weird, but maybe I'm like, trying to put your own problems on me. Yeah, because, and then they start waving their hands in each other's faces. Yeah, because the whole thing is Tamika and Barry haven't had like sex in a while or some like that. And so that's like a huge issue that they seem to be having.

It's like an ongoing issue on Bravo for the past six months and whatever. So, yeah, they're like, I mean, who's on that one coming? Yeah, so yeah, so they start bickering about that. There's a lot of, and then so over at this like art show, so not art show, but they're like, they are,

they're painting these nude, nude models and like, oh gosh, oh gosh, we're gonna get in trouble, we're gonna get in trouble. And then to make matters worse at like the stroke of like 10 PM, all of a sudden the door opens and all these people piling, which I hated because that's not how parties work. I was like, that's how Bravo works, where they line up all the extras from Craig's list outside.

And they're like, okay, 10 o'clock, let's load them in. And they just like walk in. I was like, this is not a real party. So I did not like that the show did that because I know that all these shows are scripted, but at least like try to make us feel like we're watching something real for a little bit. Like, don't just like loading all the extras all at once. Yeah. And so then the girls find out, I guess someone,

does someone text some pictures or they see on Instagram or something? That's probably the producers were like, you should go see, oh, actually, I think they were track. Were they tracking the, I don't remember, they got pictures. They got pictures. There was someone said either one of the. Oh, I know what it was. It's the sort of they put them on. Barry, I think, I know it was. It's the sort of they put them. Barry.

Oh, I think I think Barry texted. To me, I think so and was like, oh, just so you know, there's like models here, but I think because he was like, I'm getting trouble, but if I can, but if I stay ahead of it, I'm not going to get in trouble. Whereas the white guy didn't. He didn't do that. Oh, yeah.

So the they're like, we're going on in there. And then this Monday came out and I wanted to thank you. It was in its own house in the French quarter. I mean, could just do whatever he wants. Like, I'm going to, which is going to be amazing, which is no fancy home because we have a real good marriage, but it's just going to much less ways. Okay. So like, Oh, just go.

Yeah. So they go and they come in and they're like, Oh, my god, there's girls here who are all these hos. I was discussing, you are married, you are very man. Yeah, it was like a little, it was a little bit like, okay, will you go in there and fight with your husband's thanks? So, but then it looked like a real fight did break out because the white guy was drunk. So the fake fight then turned into a real fight

because then he was like angry and like, raw, I'm gonna sweat in your face, et cetera. You know, you know how that happens. Yeah. It's just like another day. Yeah. So that was pretty much there. So although there was, we did also start to see the beginnings of a rivalry between Tameca

and Gian because Tameca, like, doesn't like, Gian's like always up in her business because she thinks Gian likes Barry. And then they were doing some sort of like non-profit thing and Jion's a board member on the non-profit thing and they're like, who should we bring in to this, to the, like, we're gonna do a fundraiser thing or a program. And who should we bring in and Jion's like, how about Jion Moody?

He's great, he's my best friend. And she's like, you just met Jion Moody last week, which is so petty, but I'm like, I think this is gonna go in a good direction. Yeah, Tamiqa just needs somebody to yell at. She's just ready to go at anybody at any time. Yeah, I'm excited for it. We're gonna be start covering that show and we'll start giving proper recaps for it. Very soon, like, a few weeks, once, uh, band of pump rules clears out. like a few weeks, once Bannamprum rules clears out.

But before we wrap up this episode, it is Friday, so we gotta do Crapids Mailbag, and we actually only have like two questions left in the Mailbag, so let's just wrap it up. So we have a very special request because Catherine did not find the Mailbag, so she put it on Facebook, and we are going to honor that lovely request, and it's a very good one. So, you start.

Well, Catherine and others, if you are looking for the mailbag, what you do is you go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ins. And then you look at, if you just look at the posts, there are, there's like, you'll see some sort of like category type things, there are like tags, and you just click on crap and mail bag, and it'll take you to the most recent one. So let's start with a question from Allison King. Allison says, say that you work a generic office job. Who in the bravo world would you want to be your boss, your coworker, or the buildings janitor?

Oh my god, well not least of antipoam, she'll just have me clean an up-donk shit even if it's not a dog company. Who would be a good boss? Who would be a good boss? I don't know, JD, because he'd never pay you. You would think that Tom Sanduball would be a good boss, he'd be chill, but I feel like you'd be up in your business a little bit. Hey know, like, hey dude, like the way you filed that was like really awesome, but like, you know what should be awesome, like if next time, like if you filed it like this, just just saying, like it's like cool at first, but then you're like, oh, here he comes again. You know, um, I think Lou Ann would probably be a good boss.

She'd probably never even come in She's because I think going okay at the office well Great, let me tell you what I did Yeah, emails just forward my emails to me. They're like you already get them. Oh, well then your job's done You can go home early great work. You doing great work. I think Catherine Dennis would actually be really good I should be like I don't care. It's fine. What's the next one in there? Okay. Oh, I lied. There was actually two more, but they're, but they're from Oliver and Laurie and we love Oliver and Laurie. Oliver says, let's take bets in advance, which New York house life is going to be in charge,

slash, take the blame for the, for the for the Colombian trip, the boat trip. I'm guessing either Ramona was kidnapped or Tinsley is researching her family roots. So who caused, who's gonna get blamed for this boat trip? Well, the guy who cut the fucking anchor off, both from that part of that story, like someone sliced off the anchor or something. But for like who? Sonia, I mean Sonia is gonna take the blame for everything that happens here. Yeah, it's just Sonia's just Sonia's turn

Yeah, like but like you so you think that they're gonna say so because Sonia was in South America recently coming off of her auntie to present Gaining weight drinking smoothies and so she maybe was like well listen, you know I was just in Guatemala, Guyana and so she maybe was like well listen you know I was just in Guadamala Guiana and so like Columbia's Ecuadorians Spaniola is basically the same so I know it. I know these great guys They always run my my Santa page charter. So like let's go on there, but they're just great great people Or Ramona Ramona probably just walked into a hotel somewhere

it was like oh my god why after you finish unpacking my shoes could you take us on a boat ride would you mind because that's usually what people do tip really well I've got a $20 built with your name on it. Lori says I love your impersonations of our wonderful dumb Bravo liberties. Darling. Ben, your Carl cracks me up and I cannot unhure it when I watch the show. I'm so sorry. What are your top five favorites to do? And if the workers twins, Shina, Shiree and Doreet were trapped on a sinking ship, would they break the sound barrier? I think the sound barrier would just commit suicide at that point. I'd be like, no, we don't need sound.

God would just press mute on the entire world. Yeah, like we don't why why have barriers? We don't need barriers. Let's just keep it open. Favorite top five favorites. What are your top five favorites, Ronnie? Well, obviously I love the land of pumped darling and I love that it's become so like not at all like her and just crazy. Um, yeah, I had like Gina from Real Housewives of Melbourne. Oh, yeah, really. I told that can't get out of my body. Yeah.

Oh, they. Um, let's see. Well, while you think I'll, I'll chime in with some of mine. I love doing Ramona, obviously. I love doing the way I love doing Shannon Bedore. Um, there was another one. I do really enjoy doing really like Vicki. Really Vicki.

Well, you know what's funny is that you like, I feel like candy is one of my, like, quote unquote signature impersonations, but I really can only do, say, no, right, and then everything else is just weird sounding. And it's like, it's hard. Leon Lockin. Oh, Sheena. Sheena. She probably won my favorite.

Leon Lockin, I love doing, but I realize that we've started turning so many people into Leon Lockin, like Kim Zolciac and Chelsea almost from Sudden charm. Well, but they're there in the same vein. What do you want for me? Drain your mind. Oh, I really love doing classic March. I really enjoy the challenge of classic March because there's like a lot going on there There's like a lot of things you got to hit all at once, you know Yeah, you got to like position the voice in different parts of your mouth and get like that bubble sound,

but also do like a New Jersey accent. And like, you know, like, you know, like, classic match, you know. Gotta like, low-weight, you know, low-weight, you gotta like, yeah, it's crazy, it's crazy. This Siggie is like, you know, she's, she's reacting everything, saying, I'm anti-Semitic, it's like, you know, it's like, like, who am I?

Like, and Frank here, like, I know Jewish people are not gonna be like this. Sikki Flicka! Dereet. I mean, I really have fun doing all of them. Or I wouldn't be here, I'd be out of here, but I love Dereet. I like the ones that don't really sound anything like the people we're imitating, which is most of my imitations. Like, let's face it.

Okay, let's face it. Okay, Catherine's question. Catherine. Okay, that's a great reason. Okay, that's a great reason. Okay, Catherine's question. Catherine. So Catherine wants us to read Kim Zolciak-Bierman's apology that she put on L. That's a great way to end the week. I love that. Yes, because you know, this has been a long time coming and whoever wrote this for her

took a long time writing and it's very long and it sounds nothing like her, but it's funny. Why don't we go paragraph by paragraph? How about that? It's a long one. You start. During the last RHOA reunion episode, I made a comment that confused and offended people. I sincerely apologize.

Bitch, or I edited out of context. I understand why I remarked angered people. Racism is a sad reality in the United States. It has been prevalent throughout our country's history. Let me be very clear. I do not support tolerate or put up with any form of racism. Hey, other discrimination. My love for all people, even those black people runs deep. I am open to all except for Nini Leaks and her roaches, which is not a racial thing. She's a roaches a roach Okay, but I'm open to all especially real

Kimberly beerman. What's reals mill name again? I don't know I don't know her middle name and I'm not learning it everybody I was heartbroken when I watched the last few minutes of the episode and saw how my words were taken out of context tools. My comment that seemingly racism didn't exist 10 years ago was made part of a larger emotional 45 minute conversation about half. Sadly, social media has become a hub for hate. Also a hub cap, which is horrible on your car.

Trying to drive a car with hateful rims is not easy and I would like forgiveness from America because immediately following my confusing comment, I also said it's not as real as it is now, referring to the power of social media, but those remarks didn't make the show. Um, yeah, they kind of did. I mean, that is stupid. As Monique Samuel said, we'll continue this, but like Monique Samuel was commenting on on Kim's Apology was like the editors can't put words in your mouth cam. They can't anyway Brielle Karana beer man, that's her full name. That's the real name. What a beautiful wonderful girl She agrees with my apology anyway. Um, I

Wonderful girl. She agrees with my apology. Anyway, um, I believe that social media has made a centuries old issue more real. Okay, because before social media, the public simply observed the news. I mean, for anyone who actually read the news, I don't know what the news is. Anyway, now the public actively participates and has an opportunity to take action in real time. So Tom is even more real. Like, Tom is real and Bill Mars more real because he's got real time too. And like, racism is real because it wasn't real before but now it's more real. I mean, it was real but now it's like real real. It's like, I'm Mary J. Blodge is like real love.

She's looking for real love and now she's found a social media. It's like crazy. But this is a double-edged sword. And if it was a double-edged dildo, me and Kura would be fine with that. But's like crazy. What this is a double edge sword. And if it was a double-edged dildo, mean, Cora would be fine with that, but it's not swords hurt people. Okay, almost as much as

hateful head hook gaps. Now, when don't sort all have double edges, I don't get it. Now, before I launch into the second to last paragraph, I would like to remind you that Priya, Cora, up.

Sarah's a middle name with Martin Luther King's wife. Okay, thank you. Now, when false accusations are made, they are amplified by online bitch platforms, regardless of their bitch marries. And this wasn't the case 10 years ago when I started on our HOA. I truly pray that the people wishing horrible things on others and on me channeled that energy into something positive, like getting water fountains where I can drink without being afraid that somebody's gonna beat

me up on a reunion stage. How about that? Or something positive like Brielle, Karena, Beermann. Our world would be a much better place if you do. I am committed to making this world a better place to live. And I am starting by watching some Jeopardy tonight. And I'm gonna answer questions.

I'm gonna answer questions. I'm gonna learn things. And I'm gonna watch real fortune. And I'm gonna see those letters turn around. I'm gonna learn more phrases. And after that, I'm gonna go watch some entertainment tonight, DVR, because I was watching real fortune when I was Aaron. And I'm gonna learn something about

Larsa Marie Pippin, who might be on entertainment tonight. Who knows, but I'm learning. I'm watching entertainment news. It's news, but it's entertainment because guess what? The real world does not be scary. It can be entertainment. Okay. I will continue to learn from and be open to all people except

Nini leaks. But it's definitely extra like Strobic. But especially Alex Strobic, who is a wonderful man. Alex Morgan Freeman, Strobic. You can't say you're trying. You can't say you're trying to make the world a better place when you purposely make your face that non-biodegradable. You know what I mean? You can't say you're trying to make the world a better place when you purposely make your face that

non-biodegradable. You know what I mean? You're just at this point you're just a facial polluter, okay? Man. Oh, Sugar Loaf Mountain, that's what she is. Yeah, Sugar Loaf Mountain. That's a great, great note to end the week on a really fun week. I don't know what else to say. I took a lot out of me that Kim moment. I do have a theory though, which I've mentioned, like we were talking.

I would not be surprised if Kim Zolciac does a pivot into like a Scot Bayo kind of celebrity, you know, sort of like a right-winger of like, see, you know, I tried to be nice, but those black people, they were like social justice warriors and I realized that like, there's too much political correctness going on here. I would not be surprised if she goes that angle. I would not be at all.

But just snowflakes. Snowflakes. Oh man, well, it is over. Have a great weekend everybody. Oh my gosh, what are you all gonna do? I don't know. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there.

I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there.

I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be there. Maybe the play is called real career caran

fear men you are a national treasure thank you real thank you everybody thank you so much for listening to us have a lovely weekend don't forget to get your tickets for our live shows and Atlanta Philadelphia San Francisco gay pride

Phoenix you know the drill go over to watch at crapens.com. We will talk to you on Monday. Love y'all. Hi, everyone. Greg, have a great weekend. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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