Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Egg Tosser

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

Southern Charm is on vacation at a Frank Lloyd Wright house where Shep shows his true colors (again) and Taylor refuses to let the egg drop. This week's premium bonus is a talk about Big Brother. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to watch what corrupts the podcast for all that crap. We love to talk about amoeo bruvs.

I'm Ronnie, guess who I'm with? It's a shocker. His name is Van, happy in. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, how are you? Great, happy belated birthday sir. Oh, thank you. You know, another year older.

Here we go, let's do it. We got a chemical peel. Did everything I could know, another year older. Here we go. Let's do it. We got a chemical peel. Did everything I could do? Ada Pizza. You know, I'm all about self-improvement. You know, a little dominant isn't a chemical peel. I'm good to go. Yeah, you look beautiful.

Your skin looks flawless today. Oh, thank you. Actually, it's all peeling off. So if anybody thinks I have food on my face, it's not food today, okay? It's skin. It's not fun. It's dead dying skin. You got your face on your face. I've got a snake skin coming off. I'm going to be a new snake

this year. Thanks to everybody for your happy birthday wishes. It just made me so happy, okay? Really? I say it's arcastically, but I meant it. I can't change, all right? Everybody, welcome to the show. Monday nights are when we do take a seat. That's our live show over on Spotify Live. Super fun. You guys call in. We all talk, we all laugh. Okay.

We all fight with the same person in the comments. It's great time. So that's Monday's 7 p.m. Pacific 10 p.m. Eastern. Join us for that. Also our Game of Thrones podcast has begun. It's called Winter is Crapening So for those of you who were like our husbands don't watch these shit, but they'll listen to the game of Thrones ones Just have them subscribe to winter is crappening and then bam. So they don't have to hear anything else other than that

And I think that's it for announcements men. Do you you have anything to do? Well, it's crap is on demand. Today is crap is on demand on Patreon. That's true. That's true news. Okay, that's true. That is some real news that you can use. Okay, that is news. You can go into the weekend knowing

and you can tell your friends that it was actually a crap is on demand day on crap ends, watch what crap ends. Okay. That is true tea. As I say, is the not kids say, everybody welcome Southern Charm Day. What a day, wow, Shep's a piece of shit, everybody. Wow.

Anybody shot. Anybody out there shot? Now, I would say one of his lowest moments in a run that's had many low moments. Like, this is I think one of Shep's very worst moments he's ever had on the show. Really? I think so, because he's always had asshole moments.

Every time when Shep is winning me over again, he'll do something so assholely. It'll be a spiteful, jealous, impetuous sort of thing. Whether it was Kelsey Bellorini Garsh or inviting those girls to that one party to embarrass Craig, there's always something, not to mention also, by the way,

probably this very lowest moment was making fun of the homeless lady in New York, but that was off camera. But I think that, it was on camera, but it was off camera, not on the show. But like this was like, she was being an asshole,

but she was doing it really to the person that he, like, it's one thing if you're an asshole to like, Craig and Austin. But if you're gonna speak that way to your lady, to your lover, like that was to me, it was totally obnoxious. And I loved, I actually really loved the way that Naomi and even Olivia

were basically saying to Taylor like this is 100% wrong. I was really happy with that. It reminded me of it, give me like really nice flashbacks to was it season six or something like that? Were the season open up in Naomi just dressing down JD at that like dinner? Like that was just so excellent. It's the best. Yes. Well, here we are. It's a good, uh, chef's okay. And all over a game of egg toss, you know,

that was the best part. It was a top. It's all over this childhood game. And chef just reverting into full on child mode and stomping his feet, you know, yelling and marcy being like, oh, even Christmas in his mom. That's no, you should see that. that's no big deal. Okay. Yeah, you should see what does it to bunny now that's sad I'm pregnant Okay, so let's start off this shot previously on Southern charm. Oh, I was Caleb and Catherine decided to call it quits a God God, I was so bored. I had to hook up with Whitney because that happened also.

I like to think of Naomi recording these just pissed off on her white couch, her white chubby sheet couch. I'm married to her farm, her model, her farm house, her model. Yeah, 100%. So they're at Old Brass, the Frank Lloyd right home, and they're still like arguing around that fire because Craig is in his feelings because he just found out that Naomi and Whitney had hooked up So now he's like angry and then that spiraled into the whole larger conversation about Craig like chef isn't happy for my success Oh, this is reminding I had a I had a dream last night. I'm just realizing this right now I had a dream last night that I'm just realizing this right now.

I had a dream last night that I introduced page and Craig to my parents. And then I turned to page and I said, by the way, just so you know, the audience is turning against you. And she goes, yeah, I anticipated that. I was like, okay, you should just be prepared. Did your mother ask why she was wearing a micromanie in late fall?

No, my mom did not ask that. My parents just sort of were confused. And then I think I woke up shortly after. So, wow, I don't really even know what to say to that. I know, I'm sad for myself. I'm sad that that's what my brain offers up. I've been watching that show on Netflix called The Sandman, and it's about the King of the Dream World, and I'm just thinking, you failed. That's a failure of a dream, sir, okay? Yeah.

Your kingdom is going to get ticket over. Who was that? My friend in college will always be like, I had a dream last night that I was flying alongside the Virgin Mary, and then she gave me wings wings but then I plummeted into the ocean and mine's like, oh I met Patron Craig came over and met my parents. Like one's laid in with like all the major symbolism and mine's just like just so pedestrian. Oh, pain. So we're an old ass and Um, and so it's dinner time. They're still fighting and Whitney's like, oh, guys, We're gonna be a journey now. We're gonna be a journey to dinner now. And they're like, what does that mean?

So then Taylor and Shep are sitting at the they stay at the table and Taylor's like, Shep being nice to Craig He's like, how did you do it? How did you say anything? Every single word I say, I say the same. Every single word, I'm the same person. And so guess what? I'm gonna still be the same person saying the same things, Garge. It's like, what does that even mean?

You're the same person and you say the same things. Like, I'm the same asshole I started as, so why is everybody mad that I'm an asshole now? I guess that's what he's saying. You know, the thing is, you can't have it both ways. You can't be stupid and smart, okay? You can't tell us on the one hand that you're a work in progress, and the other hand, you can't say don't try to change me.

This is who I am. It's one lane or the other, and Chef is really, like, he's really trapped in that. I mean, Chef is really dying on a very sad sad hill of like I just said fine. It's like a sad vineyard vine and it's basically like it's like I am a privileged snot who is not emotionally evolved since I was which is not emotionally evolved since I was nine years old and I haven't had to because I am just wealthy and so I can treat people like this and I don't want to change because this is who I am. Like, do you see yourself on TV and see what a brat you are and then you say, I want

this is who I am and this is, I don't want to change. That's just, it's not even like, ew, discussing it, it's just like sad, it's sad that that's just like his reality. His aspirations are that low. Yeah, so they go to the table and Austin's like, oh, are there seating assignments here? Is this insane?

What is his name? His name's on places. And what it means like there's, this, Plasma, Splasma me's like, there's, this, plusma, plusma, plusma, plusma. What is that, that's a Spanish, plusma? It's plusma, plusma, plusma. Pss, pss, pss, pss, pss.

Analuvias stuck next to Austin, she's like so not happy. At this very wide table I'd like to add, like they show a shot, like looking down the table and they are, it's like, it's a very wide table. I did not appreciate that. So, Chef is just like scowling in the corner and Craig is still doing his like mumble arguing

where he's like, he'll never gonna pass for me. That's the thing he'll never gonna pass for me. I don't wanna talk about it. And when he's like, Craig, sit your ass down. Shut the fuck up. Mother, what the heck are you doing? I owed someone. And Olivia's all upset.

She's like, I am behind uncomfortable. Like, I'm still dealing with Austin and Sierra stuff. Like, you hung out, like, to find hang out. You've been out twice. Shut the fuck up. The both of you, okay? This is the saddest cast relationship I'm ever seeing. Yeah.

You don't even like each other. So then they just keep cutting to Shep's face, and he's all pissed off. He's like angry old man down there just waiting for Jack Lemmon to make him palatable. And then Leva's like, come on guys, let's just have a nice dinner and just stop fighting. This is not a fight I started, so I don't approve of it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, if she didn't start it, she doesn't want to hear it. So, um,

yeah, when he's like, when he's like, guys, we're about to have the best soul food you'll ever have in your life, okay? Because when you think Frank Lloyd right, right home soul food, okay? So we're, come on, sit down everyone. Craig, we don't hate you. Uh, so the food is served and chef is still mad. So he takes his fork and he's like, uh, don't eat cucumbers. No things and throws it over his shoulder. Don't like yellow mustard. No, thanks. Throws a little piece over his shoulder on the ground.

What, what a fucking child. My god, I mean, I don there's a job to pick it up. You know, it's called generosity in my home. It's just, it's like medieval almost. I mean, what is this flicking cucumbers over his shoulder? I mean, it's just like, what is going on? And then, Craig's like, it's two of my favorite things. I'm like, okay, we're drawing battle lines over

cucumbers and yellow mustard. Craig even has to make the fucking cute combers about himself, you know, and love of groans. And she's like, can we just stop? Okay, I just want a fun night, okay? And Whitney's like, let's just eat, drink, and Olivia, who's got, by the way, a napkin twirled up her nose, okay? Like, you're gonna need to find some subtlety

if you're gonna be on this show, ma'am. Okay, you might as well have like a place mat made out of mirror at this point. So she's like, yeah, eat drinking, get married. That's what your mom says. Whitney's like, oh, that makes so much more sense. Cause I thought she said, I thought she finished it by saying be merry, not be married.

And so when she said be married as your mom says, and when I'm like, why are we doing that's over like a very standard, you know, phrase, each drink can be married. I was like, whoa, was that like an accidental firing of that machine, but now that it's be married that makes much more sense I was a Patricia Yeah, so then Craig and Austin walk off to these shots and meanwhile Olivia and

Shepherd, I mean who's Tyler at this blonde girl? Taylor I'm telling her I know that it's only fair to be racist against white blonde people in this country and at this point, but I cannot tell these blonde girls apart. I need some diversity here. If you're not going to give me diversity, at least give me diversity in like hair dye. Because this is fucking ridiculous. It's like a crosswalk at a Texas college. Give me something. So Taylor turns to Shepp and goes, may I speak? There's, which is already weird that she's like asking permission. And she's like, there is one point in your life when you doubted Craig and his pillows and he's like, and she just had a cucumber and Taylor goes, so he's obviously succeeding. It's not about that. So just be happy for him.

And so he starts poking his knee. He's making it point, starts poking his knee. And he's like, this is not about that. This is not about that. Go ahead. And she goes, he thinks it is. So just go like, hey buddy, hey little guy. Look, I care about you a lot.

And I'm really sorry that once in my life I've added you, Did you ever say the word sorry? You've got to use that word. It's such a powerful word. Here, you want to try it out? I'll stop my head. Taylor, sorry, I cheated on you. Taylor, sorry, I made you feel like a crazy person. Taylor, sorry, I talked down to you. Just some freezes. I just sort of shut up. Shut the fuck up, cucumber. Just shut up. And she's like, Chef, you've got to rise above your ego. And then Craig comes and Chef is now like pounding his foot. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

He's like so mad. So Craig returns and then Taylor and Chef get up. And Marcy is telling Naomi, what Chef should do is how Craig he's sorry, you know? I mean, that's really what he should do. I don't know if I've meant you. My name's Marcy, I'm pregnant. So.

You know, Marcy, by the way, Marcy, Marcy is about to get it to get to shut up mountain. And I'll tell you why, because she, out of anyone, really has probably the best authority to really just like speak directly to Shab and be like, you need to figure this out. And she never does.

She doesn't tell him to say sorry. She laughs off his tantrums. And she'll say it to other people, well, you should really be like this, but she does not step up whatsoever. And that's bullshit. So Marcy, if you're not gonna do anything but talk about being pregnant,

then you can be pregnant on Shut Up Mountain. How about that? She does later, but not now. But right now, I think she knows like this is Shep, he's in a household, they know that Shep is in a household. The girl that knows Shep and his dating Shep knows that he's in a household. So like, what can you do?

Listen, it's getting me a little allowance money, you know? I can't have my mom buy all of my cribs. Mm-hmm, yeah. So Shep pulls Craig aside and he's like, okay Craig, I'm really sorry Craig. Really sorry, listen, listen, I really am. For anything I said in the past, whatever it may be. And Craig's like, no, there's no sorry, listen.

You and I both have to acknowledge that we don't see I die, all right, I'm like the king of pillows. And you're just shab, you know? And so I understand how hard that is to kiss the ring on a pillow, because you're like, where's the pillow's fingers? It's just a square. And then the pillows like, don't call me a square, we're supposed to be best friends.

And then you're like, yeah, but you don't have fingers. And I'm like, fuck you, dude. We're not even friends anymore Okay, gosh Craig I wasn't expecting all that look. I love you and we're gonna have fun I do love you. So let's just say sorry and brush this under the rug again, okay? Okay, I do love you. Will you zip me up? You know I'm wearing a dress crack, but I'm a pillow You know I'm wearing a dress crack, but I'm a pillow. I'm a pillow. So now Austin's talking to Olivia and he's so like, why didn't you like talk to me until like literally yesterday or

literally today, like why not? So she's like, she's like, she gives us look like really, we're only at the cucumber mustard portion of the meal. Like, can't we get to the mains? She's like, we're doing this now. He's like, okay, okay, no then, no then. So now, Chef and Taylor get up and go to the bar so he can tell her that he's apologized to whatever.

So Marcy's like, now where's everybody going? I'm pregnant! And Austin turns to Craig and he goes, wait, Craig, did he apologize to you? And Craig is like, yeah, he apologized. But look, when you're coming at someone, the problem isn't the person you're coming at and when people act out and are doing weird shits, that's like to themselves.

And he's like, yeah, Craig is holding a fork and a knife, but in his hands, like, ski poles. And he's like, I mean, he's like, having a dial and like, skiing like in his hands like ski poles and he's like I mean he's like having them down and like Up and down. He's like monkey-shinzing though. He's like all these things. I'm like well now I understand why he maimed himself with a butter knife. Yeah, the problem is they're not fucking happy, bro. And Austin's like what you did it too quick You were acting out too quick. You were acting out too and Craig's like, what? You did it too quick. You were acting out too quick. You were acting out too. And Craig's like, uh, what was I doing?

He's like, you were acting out doing crazy shit, Craig. Crazy shit, Craig. In thing right now, this shit you were doing, okay, Craig, put the knife down, put the knife down, Craig. Oh, what's wrong with my knife? This is the problem with what you said. You said I was doing crazy shit. Well, you were lashing out at people

Irrationaly crack irrationally crack so now you're defending chap cuz like at the end of the day you get nothing for nothing I will always have your back. So what are you doing? Like I thought we were good. Are we not good? He stands up now And Austin's like is is this, is this stock next level? Olivia's like, well, I guess so much for you wanted to talk about our relationship now once again. And in fact, it's often like, Craig is triggered and angry that he is on a trip with his ex who is hooking up with Whitney. And then he turns his anger towards me. It's like you truly need to look in the mirror because you're asshole number one. I'm like, uh, your asshole number zero, by the way,

because you do the exact same thing anytime you're around Madison for crying out loud. So if Anita's like, Craig sit down, Vanita's so bored, you know, she's like watching all these idiots fight. And I'm not gonna sit down if he's just gonna say that I'm being irrational. Mr. Fork, tell Mr. Knife, I'm sorry Mr. Knife, you better be, I really am. Look, mother hugging. Hey,

versus like, oh, I need to videotape this for my baby that I'm about to have. So then, I'll be just spoon, cause I'm pregnant. A. So then I'll be the spoon, just like pregnant. A spoon is only a pregnant knife. So Austin is like, Austin's like, so Venita's like telling Craig to like,

hey, like, like calm down. And then Austin goes, I don't know why you're looking at her as if she has your back. Stop it, look at someone who knows you. Me, like it was just so condescending. So dismissive of Porvenida, who's just like on her first ever group scene,

it feels like. So then, it feels like, but it's not. It's not. It feels like that. Yeah. So Craig's like, you asked me at this dinner. I'm glad is what that is the day you asked me. Look in your diary on this date at this dinner

and make a star in asterisks, if you will. And then on the very bottom of the page, put another asterisk and write smaller than you wrote the other things in the page, the dinner that I lost Craig. So that you'll know that this is the dinner you lost crack after it. I want you to listen to the Jeremy Gwiresong and when she says you had me at hello replace had with didn't have me and then replace hello with that dinner there. You've asked me at the cucumber fling. The brain was my susbetato salad. I love that this is the line that we're latching on to. So Austin's like, you lost me at the dinner. Well, that's only because I got confused a lot

away from the table didn't know where I was. So Austin's Craig, where's only because I got confused a lot away from the table, didn't know where I was. So Austin's like, Craig, where's Craig? I mean, like I'm walking away from negative behavior. And Austin's like, Craig, you are crazy for some right now, Craig. Crazy. You're crazy right now. So now the girls are walking back to the table and Craig, Craig just goes, just for the record, we are not friends anymore.

If he needs to go, Craig, that is a lot. These people are crazy. So he walks off all mad and love us like, what is happening you guys? And Craig's like, these people sucked, they're all fucking crazy. We are no longer friends Prick absolutely prick so he's walking off and Olivia's like Craig and Austin's like I don't care about him. I do not care about him He's right now Madison

It's time for commercial, it's time for a crap and- Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Let's come and show. So the food finally arrives.

And now Shep, I think, is realizing he was being a dick before, so he's now being over the top when the guy serving him mac and cheese. Because I would love mac and cheese. Who the hell doesn't want that? Right, my friend? Ah, do they even come off as an asshole when he's trying to be my girlfriend? It's so patronizing to the freaking food staff.

He's like, who wouldn't want mac and cheese, my friend? Am I right? Look, I've made a cobblestone path of cucumbers for you to follow to show you how much I respect your work. Yeah, and I feel like Whitney is trying really hard to be like of the people and not just be some like rich guy who's rented out of Frank Lloyd Wright House and he's like he's just being over the top. He's like, wow, this is amazing.

Soul food. I love this. This is wonderful. Thank you so much, prayer hands, prayer hands, mother, thank you so much. They they really are going over the top to be like, look at us, we're so down. I'm like, wow, I'm sure that, that staff really, really put a lot of stock into the two rich white guys talking about how this is the best solute they've ever had. Like, what was your other option? Frozen, Luby's mac and cheese. You don't go to solute, shut the fuck up.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. So then, um, so Narkreg gets back at the table, and he's like, there's one person at the table that needs to apologize, and he knows who it is. And he also goes, wow, wow. And Olivia's like, wow. OK, OK.

Did you notice that? Fucking Olivia over there. Olivia's like Sharon Stone and Casino mean while at the end of the table. Good for her. I like that version of Olivia. So maybe someday Olivia will be doing commercials for like Penny Slots.

Cause you know, that's what Sharon Stone's doing now. Okay. Oh God. Fucking Sharon Stone. I heard her on Oprah and she is just, I mean, I guess she's exactly what you think Sharon Stone would be. You know, they were talking about COVID and she's like, Oprah, this time at first was like

so sad and it wasn't me. But then I realized this is such a blessing. That is such a blessing. That is such a blessing. Oh, but I know it was just like, what? Sharon Stone really, is no one else really? Remember when she was interviewed and she was like,

well, I was talking to my friend, the Dalai Lama. I don't know. And then she said something like wildly offensive about like, about like, like, Chinese culture or something like that. But I mean, Chera's own got to give it up first. She got struck by lightning through like her well. You know that happened?

She was like, I was struck by lightning. Lightning struck her well and she was filling a t-cattle at the time and she got zapped through the, through the, her ex, her ex has been got his toe bit enough by a Komodo dragon. Wow. She has friends with a Dolly Lama. And now she's a slot.

You're the person working for Oprah that made this interview sound like a good idea. And I resent that. I mean, you're never going to get a, you're never going to get an interview with Sharon Stone, where you'll say, that was a good interview. You'll be like, what was that? That That's what that's why Sharon Stone is great Hey guys, I think it's time to talk about black lives matter. Let's interview Sharon Stone about that I was like this is not a good idea Oh bra, you know what I realized

There are black people in the world too, and I was like wow Wow, I'm so glad I know now. Thankfully, I was educated. I was like, please just stop this interview. How's Oprah sitting there with a straight face? God bless, Sharon Stone. God bless her to bit. Okay. So Marcy's just sighing, right? She's like, she just heard about this Sharon Stone interview. She's like, eh. So then, um, Chef is miserable. We get another chef miserable face. And Naomi's just giving a dirty look across the table to

Chef and she goes, um, the food is amazing. Yeah, you know, it's bad when Naomi has to break the tension with a compliment with a very tense compliment. Yeah. And so, no, it's just and so normally there should be a time when I would say, I feel like we're all just garbage people, but things are getting really dark around here.

I guess I'll see something uplifting. So Whitney is like, so afterwards we're gonna go to a rec center and I set it up especially for Craig, even though he's looking a little despondent, a little pissy. And it's like, stop being mean to him. God, what's happening to me? This is crazy.

I need to pay all my stuff into a lake. Fages at home going, I told you, she's in love with him. I told you. I told you. So he's like, I'm not being mean. I'm just looking at him, he's looking angry over there. And Taylor's like, guys, can we just like leave all the bullshit here Craig nobody hates you and he's like oh yeah Well if they apologize then that's fine

But the person that needs to apologize needs to apologize and if he does he doesn't and if he doesn't he does and if he doesn't Fork should be nice master denives Craig let's lighten up. Let's not, let's not be so dispossessed. Craig, Craig is like, I'm not gonna act happy. There's one person I want to talk to. And when he's like, you're being a bit of a, a Debbie Downer.

Oh, a psycholor, Deborah Downer. Okay. And Craig is like classic projection buddy. Greg has clearly gone to therapy session and is now regurgitating everything. Much as I do, by the way. So Libby is like, Austin, why don't you just fix it, Austin?

And he's like, whoa, don't put this on me. This is on me. What are you saying? This is on me. And she's like, I'm just saying fix it. So you can enjoy it in my, this is so annoying. Like, you just I'm just saying fix it so you can enjoy it in my is this so annoying like you just screamed you're a crazy person at hand and he goes you

Taking credit. I won't even I'm going back to my room now Lincoln's lap at leaves It's like the house. It's like a real housewives reunion walkoff competition, you know Yeah, I can't I can't believe he's even aspiring to woo back Olivia and his behavior this way So now now it's the next morning. It's 11.45 in the morning and people are waking up There's some cuddling in bed and everything and Austin's like giving Craig the finger to wall also wakes up He's like The finger so this is like lots of waking up waking up John

John is trying to I think make a splash on this show because he's like wake up rising shine mercy I'm John. I'm like no John She's like Jesus Christ John So then Olivia calls Leva and she's like oh my god our cabin looks like spring break in here Leva and she's like, what did I mess? Tell me everything. What's the cost? So we see last night that Lava and Veneto were like, this is dramatic.

We're leaving. Oh, really? Okay. Not a smart move. Okay. You two are not fixtures on the show. I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, but leaving work before closing time is not a very good idea. Second of all, all you two have done is start drama. What the fuck you think you're doing, but leaving work before closing time is not a very good idea.

Second of all, all you two have done is start drama. What the fuck are you talking about? Everyone else has had to sit there through your drama and you sit through theirs. It's like leaving an open mic night because you don't like whatever song is coming up. Okay, you're there to sing and they have to listen to your bullshit and you listen to their bullshit too.

Okay, well, open mic reality. So losers are you anyway? Get back there. I agree. So Olivia talks about how she didn't have a real conversation with Austin last night, which to me sounds like a blessing. Like fewer conversations you have to have

with Austin the better. So Olivia's like, I didn't even get to talk to him about C, C, what's her name again? C, C Alice. C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, See what's her name again? See see Alice see my girl That couldn't help yourself could you live you? Yes, you can't have these girlfriend expectations of me when you're going home with an X and so then Meanwhile Austin's in the kitchen now Austin's trying to be like super Prince Charming with with the staff And he's like oh gosh Wow look at all this food you put out here. I have to have this thing. What is this?

And the chef is like, bacon cheese potato, bacon cheese potato. She's been waiting all day for someone to look at her bacon cheese potato. She's so excited. The last guy I came in here in his underwear then took a piece of it and said he hates baked potato through it on the floor. I just cleaned that one up though. There's some fresh ones here if you'd like. Yeah. Yeah. So in related news, a B is attacking Olivia and then dies with an overdose. And then Leva's like, so, so we're back with Olivia and Leva on the phone. Leva's like, so are you gonna talk to him today?

Because like, you know, Austin is like so emotional because like no one followed him when he walked off. Which I love, and is so true. And Olivia's like, I mean, we're in the will on this. I'm not chasing after anyone, not even Jesus of Jesus were here. I wouldn't be even chasing after him. You know, her mom is so disappointed. She's like, I tried to raise that girl right, but she wouldn't even chase Jesus in the wilderness. I'm ashamed. She's like trying to fuck Austin, the biggest loser in the world.

She's wiping her nose the whole episode. And yeah, you're right. The mom would be like, well, she says she didn't want to take Jesus. What's the point of putting a giant ass cross in my kitchen? If she's not going to chase Jesus in the wilderness. So Olivia's like, while like, oh, Olivia's like, yeah, and we also like placed in basketball and it was like so fun and like Austin just missed it. And you know who kept us appearing?

No, I mean, wait, hey, no, we didn't, we kept us appearing. And then we see a clip of the middle of the night. The Recreague is drunk with a sword walking down a hallway. Like, this is the problem with the prop purse. When a person uses props and anger, it's not good. Sure, it starts with a better knife through a wall. Then it starts with a little fork and knife fighting at dinner.

And then he's got an actual fucking sword, okay? Mm-hmm. Which is probably like a very expensive antique or something that Frank Lloyd Wright sourced from somewhere. And it's like, It's all about camping. Okay. Craig is like banging on this door

and he's like, he's like, now man, Whitney, now man, Whitney, now man, Whitney, and I'm like, Craig, you sound like literally such a fucking crack at, oh, feels good to be back in my normal voice after all that. This food tastes great.

Air quotes. He's like, well, I'm just guardian of this house. So I'll just be out here guardianing. So then Craig is. By the way, by the way, like this is the bullshit that that page is trying to cast Naomi like the jealous X. And who is the one who is like lurking and trying to cock block Naomi right now That's Craig Craig is the jealous X and he always has been yes Craig is and I will say this in Pager's defense

Craig she's just going off with Craig's talent, of course We've seen Craig lying his face off the season about like yeah She was like begging to get back with me. And like, she was like on her hands and knees apologizing. And I was like, really? And then like, why don't you tell the duck? And then like, she sacrificed a duck for me. She stabbed it.

And she took it's harder. And she ate it right in front of me. It's how much she wanted me. It was like, what? None of this happened to Craig. Okay. That's sacrifice a duck. So then Craig calls Paige and she's like,

how are you? And he's like, well apparently everyone knew that Whitney and Naomi had been looking up. I walked by their door and I could have sworn. I heard Naomi saying, Craig, Craig, she's obsessed. Oh my God, da. He's like, yeah, well I guess that's a thing now. That is so weird, da. He's like, yeah, well, I guess that's a thing now. That is so weird, da.

He's like, yeah, well, I was like, why are you guys like keeping you the secret then? And she's like, that is so bizarre. Ah. And then I went back to the main house last night and I found this antique sword. And she's like, I don't want. So obviously I picked it up.

So I was like banging on Whitney's door, honestly, just to be like, what the fuck? I'm party with your friends. And then, man, my voice comes out. And door. Honestly just to be like what the fuck come party with your friends and then man his voice comes out and it's like Craig go the fuck to bed and I was like oh my god It's not a great story page It's not funny page He's like laughing way too hard and she's like oh my god Yeah, imagine talking to your ex while the guy you're fucking is standing next to you.

Okay. You just heard the real story. And you're still making it sound like Naomi is stalking Craig. He was standing outside her door trying to listen to them fuck, babe. Yeah. How are you going to make this Naomi's fault? And then when she says, imagine talking to your ex

boyfriend while the guy you're fucking standing next to you. Like, and what world is that normal? I'm like your show summer house You're from summer house. You're like literally shooting a season right now, okay? So So then he's still laughing Craig by the way she says that Craig's like Crag, by the way, she says that Craig's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So then Naomi starts walking up to breakfast and Austin goes, look at this hot piece of tail walking up. And when he goes, her gate has an alley council.

Her gate? Yeah, her gate. She walks. She walks. Not a swinging gate. She walks. She walks. She walks.

Okay. She eats. So Austin, the name we walked since, the now Austin is, now he's actually, like he's always known like, Gateman and he's like, oh, we were just commenting on your gate, your gates insane right now.

And he's like, a swinging gate, like what is my gate swinging? And when he's like, we went the way he walked, which is totally natural, not to know that word. You know, there's just certain elegance. Have you ever thought about wearing cap-towns and bringing a little bell to go places? So then Frank Lloyd White walking. Like the Miss Van derandaro of gates.

So then they all means like, uh, thanks. So can I just have one of those weird like, uh, bacon wrap? Like wrap is big potatoes. So Austin's like Whitney, come here. He's like, huh? That was that noise by the way. It was my way of denoting a wink. Huh. An Austin like, huh? That was that noise, by the way, was my way of denoting a wink. Huh?

An Austin wink. Huh. I wouldn't say cool. He's like, what are you doing? What are you winking right now? Your wink has such a weird gate. I think it's gotta be, you're like closing one. You're like closing one.

You're like an elegance about the way your eyelid closes. You're the Ashley Holmes of Winks. You're the Ashley Holmes of Wings. You're the Wins of Wings. And I was just like, what did you do last night? What did you do? What did you do last night? He's like, oh, we got Joe Brown in the property. I got mine.

We picked little flex of cucumber off the grass for a while. Yeah. It was nice. And then last night we see Win Whitney and Naomi talking with wine. And Whitney's like, so I heard Craig, uh, I'm interrogating Austin about us. And I know Craig is a, is, is pissing me. I, I didn't her future mother mother.

And Naomi is like, he just, he had like just didn't understand. It's like an idiot garbage person. Oh God, I love speaking like this. I wait and he says, yeah, and you've been a, you know, that, that, that, that, that loyal print and a, and a, shoulder to cry on. And she's like, that's me, shoulder to cry on.

And you go, well, I make a shoulder. It was, it was, it was like, it's make a shoulder. You had to, you had to, you had to, you had to, in this moment. So Craig comes in and he's like, hello, hello everybody. And when he's like, hello, square.

We have a chef in there. Where did you get that omelet from? Well, let me guess, Craig, you just walked into the dining room and there's a kitchen to the left. Yeah, we could play into the dining room. There's a kitchen to the left. We can play process of elimination. Stop being jealous of my billows. So Austin's like, what kind of person does it take to act normal? Did they have to recalculate? Like that. And Whitney is like, yeah, he knows what's wrong. He doesn't even care. And then Austin does that thing where he just like picks it his face. She just moved to do. So then Naomi and Austin sit down together and Naomi's like, so did you guys talk it out?

Yeah, I had a good night sleep. That's for sure. That's for sure. You know, we had like a terrible night sleep and he was like playing about good as sleep was that way, correct. Like, basically, Craig and Austin have like a, had a great night sleep off, you know? Yeah. So she's like like so are you an Olivia? And just Craig's like well, she wasn't happy with your behavior last night. That's for sure

Well, Craig, I'm not happy with your behavior last night Yeah, well, that's fine, but like a lot of people weren't happy with your behavior Okay, and there's a reason that nobody chased after you when you left. I'm like, when I left five minutes before you and also no one chased after me, but I came back quicker than you. So it was less pathetic when I did it. So, well, as someone who had a great night's sleep, let me say, oh, wow, a lot of people weren't having my behavior. Oh, okay, Craig. Oh, Craig's like, yeah, well, there's like a reason and like no one

chased after you. Well, can you justify your behavior in any way you can? Can you just do that? Well, there's no one that will take your side over my side. I has fork, my Abc cucumber, they're all anti-you. So I have an announcement to make ding, ding, ding, oddly enough, I had a fork, but it they just keep leaving. Anyway, ding ding ding. Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. There. So we're gonna make this announcement every day. I know. It's like so. Um, it's like so like elementary school. So then Shep and everyone else starts to arrive.

And they're still squabbling. And Craig is like, yeah, Austin, because you're like an asshole. And then he goes, that's not new news, Craig. Yeah. So Olivia is doing Ali Shidi Jha in the near future. And she's like, of course, I should've known that his lover's coral was going to continue to be like a thing. His lover's coral with

Craig that is. And then, and then, it just cuts to awesome things. Are you, you are a crazy person. You are. I was like, how are you guys like already? Fuck, God, I hate him. I hate him so much. He's seen right now. I'm like, I hate him. I hate him so much, it's insane right now I'm like, I hate him. And do it, he's like, I'm getting bored. I find to do something else, but there's three in a milking games. It's like, oh, the real Whitney finally comes out.

He's acting like that's a funny accent, but I'll bet that's really Whitney. I bet he goes home like with his weird little chemistry set and he's like, oh, today I find way to show these stupid Americans how to understand gay. Whitney, are you concocting an evil plan up there again? Because I need a martini. Whitney, you're using the wrong glasses for the poison is going to end the world.

in the wrong glasses for the poison is gonna end the world. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So, so now they're gonna change, they're gonna be doing an egg toss, a low stakes egg toss where whoever wins gets as far as we can tell nothing except maybe bragging rights. So surely nothing could go wrong with this random assing. This is just another rude fucking game. Okay, you've got chef throwing food on the ground and now you have people throwing eggs to smash all over the property.

Is Joel Silver okay with this? Okay, because he owns this house and this is some bullshit. Also, is it Joel Silver owns this house? Yes, and they're really and they're begging Joel Silver's Frank Lloyd Wright house. What the fuck? Austin Joel Gray. Wait, they Joel Silver.

No, Joel Gray doesn't. No shit, okay. Joel Gray doesn't even know how to do it. I was gonna say Joel Gray. I was like, because Jennifer Gray is gonna show up. I was like, wait a second, but Gray has silver done much. Wait, Joel Silver, the producer? Yeah.

I'll talk to him. I'll put this on there. Listen, this is how I'm so pretty much. Wait, Joel Silver, the producer? Oh yeah. Oh, I'll talk to you later. I'll put this on there. Listen, this is how I know people told us on Instagram, okay? Well, he's a problematic piece of shit anyway. And like everyone knows, everyone works for him, said he's like the worst person of all time. So you know what,

make him pick up some egg from the top. But don't run the house, it houses the historical. Like do it outside, do it on the lands. But, you know, also by the way, fuck Shep, for a whole lot of the reason, which I just thought of right now, we have to, on these shows, sit through so many stupid games all the time.

Like, when there's, when there's, when there's, like a slow episode, they make us do, it's like, guys, we're gonna play kickball, we do a real A-rays. Stuff that like, we don't really care about, and it's like never really fun. And the reason why we do it is because of this, because every once in a while, it's like a clock is right,

twice a day, once in a while, you strike twice a never. I don't believe in time, but like once in a while, one of these stupid games makes crazy drama. I don't know, you don't know when it's gonna happen. And because you never know when you're gonna have a moment like this egg toss scenario, Bravo's just gonna make us always sit through the real air races and the egg toss in the games because you never know. That's why I have endless kickball. I think of like all these stupid games you sat through. And you know what? Like I kind of think like maybe if Shep had just been like a normal person,

some of Bravo would have said, I don't think we have to do these games anymore. Let's just not have these in our shows. And then Shep does this and they said, you know what, glad we kept the games in. Let's have some relic at races and never have I ever saw the next episode. So you're mad because he's encouraging it?

Yes, he's encouraging bad content for us. You know this was great content. So he's in a hammock and Craig's like, don't get out of the hammock. I'm going to sit with you in the hammock. Don't get out. Don't get out. And he does. So they spill beer and they throw beer at each other and stuff.

And then Shep goes to Olivia and Austin. He's like, are you mad at Austin? Still you are, right? You're mad. Okay. Talk it out. Bye. I'll go over here. I'll go over there. I was like, I don mad at Austin still you are right? Your man, okay, talk it out. Bye. I'll go over here. I'll go over there. I was like, I don't know why you're mad.

And she's like, you don't know why I'm not in a happy place with you right now. And then Olivia tells us, why are you going to be upset at me for doing something you encourage me to do when you're just going to go play naked twister with your ex? I thought of that. Sit down, girl, whatever her name is. Sit down, girl. when you're just gonna go play naked twister with your ex. I thought of that. Sedona, whatever her name is. Sedona, and you know. Sedona.

This is the problem I see. It's like Olivia tried to do the typical thing, right? Like, you know what? If he's not committing, then you pretend you're with somebody else and you'll make him real jealous girl, you know It's like the old thing leave a Marcy said. I actually don't agree with that Marcy said that's what I told her to do I said if you you want him to be attention He's not giving you the attention then you show him what it's like if you go with somebody else and see how he you know

That's what Marcy said well So you can't do that with this cast because they're more immature than any game You can come up with to get their attention, you know? If you try and do something like that to them, he's like, okay, I will one up your blind date at a wedding by fucking somebody else right after. Yeah, I mean, I weirdly enough, I hate to stick up for Olivia, but I don't fully see it. I know why it reads like that, but I feel like she's just like, okay, this guy's obsessed with his ex and he's also talking down at me, whatever. I'm just gonna move on with this guy.

And then he gets mad at her, even though he precipitated that situation. And then he does something that's way more kind of like tit for tattied. It's more, and like Titt for Taddy, like it's more, and like, you know, and I just think for her, her thing is like, you're so mad at me for being like, okay, well, you're not giving me anything,

so I decided to go explore something else. And then you went and then just did something that was like 10 times more intense than just like going on like a silly date to a dog thing. So I think that like, to me, it was not so much, I didn't really feel like Olivia was being that tit for tatties, you just like fuck it, like I rather just explored my options, and then he was being tit for tattie,

which is why I'm more angry at her than at him than I am at her. Mm-hmm. But I understand your points. I'm not saying your points are like, not right, but I'm just saying like, that's how it's reading to me. Okay, so then I don't care. I'm like honestly, I don't care. It's Olivia and Austin. I can't it's a fake relationship to start So that's number one. That's the most important. You can't not really can't play games with these guys because I'll always be you So just be a hundred percent more vile than you could ever dream of you know that's true

to the hurt your feelings way more than you could ever try to hurt them because I don't have yeah you know so then Agtas time so shepherds like shepherd shepherd is like can't remember the Agtas. Okay. Those are Agtas You need space. You need a lot of space. Oh my god. They called me old old egg toss back in college. Yeah, I bet they fucking did Yeah, so and then of course Whitney is not playing old egg toss fucking old egg toss Can set get more chef that could be old egg toss back in college So so Whitney's not gonna play and then Greg does come play Agtos with me. So what he was like, I don't know why we're not on the transport. Oh, something more elevated, mother. So,

often, refuse is to play because it's not elevated. Yeah. So then like before they start playing Austin's like doing an angry bet and he'd like to tell Shep is he, a chef, there's no fucking chance in hell. You hit that skinny tree right there. No fucking chance. Shotshop is like, I hit it. So he throws a nag and he hits the tree, which is like, it's like, okay, great. It goes, I win.

I win. And Austin, you know, that was money. Such an Austin thing to say. I know that was money, bro. During an egg at a tree. Getting his fingers, getting his fingers in there, you know. I know. So let's see.

So Austin's like, okay, okay, John, I need you to use soft hands, or it's soft hands, like in mighty ducks. So the egg tosses a foot and they all mean, oh Taylor, that falls on the ground, right? So Taylor's like, oh my god, it fell and she stomps on it and chefs like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what are you doing? That didn't break, you fucking idiot.

You fucking idiot, that didn't break. You fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. That wasn't broken. Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, competitive response will be like, no, what do you, oh gosh, okay, can we get a new egg? That's, and then it's done. We get a new egg, you didn't realize. And then you move forward, but he's like, you fucking idiot, he stepped on an egg, turn an eggtos game where the winner receives

no perceptible prize. How could you do this? An Olivia's like, don't call her an idiot. I'm throwing an egg at him, and so he gets one and nails a livia with the egg back. And he's like, shush, you have to run my egg. They're like, I'm sorry, you fell. And he's like, that is not the name of the game.

It's not called egg fall. The name of the game is not to have the egg brag. I'm, I'm an egg tosser. I'm an egg tosser. She's like, but I thought if you have the egg break. I'm, I'm old legs, officer. I'm old legs, officer. She's like, but I thought if you drop the egg, then you're out. He's unbelievable. Great, great.

This is, this is great. I'm like, dude, are you, this angry over a really rectifiable, like, do over a moment? And so he's, Olivia's like, he called Taylor and Idiot. I'll hit him again. I'll throw the whole carton at him again I was like please do actually Cricks like don't throw eggs in Olivia. It's not nice

Especially when they owe me it's like two feet away from her and Olivia's like yeah, and it really hurt He's like oh, yeah, I'm sorry about that Olivia Look at me with my exit you threw on me Clare so sorry living gosh And Olivia's like don't call your girlfriend an idiot or I'll do the gan and she goes if she fucks with my exit you threw on me Clarke so sorry lady gosh And live as like don't call your girlfriend an idiot or I'll do it again And she goes if she fucks with my game I'll say it again Fuck yeah I said it yet she just has something worse Until it's like oh okay

Yeah and Taylor's like okay bring it on Betty But she's all upset and so it's like she's an opponent of mine And I'll say where do I want her and then I'm like She's also your girlfriend don't be like a dick. It's like from mighty ducks I'll say fuck you to a duck too. Okay. She's my opponent. I win I'm like, I win! I win! I win! I win!

That like, primal response of I win, like that like totally regressive to like being five or just saying, I win in a moment that was like not about winning. Literally, nobody cares about the egg toss. Fuckin' stuff. Like, no one cares about the egg toss. The producers made you do it. And also like, honestly, it was not honestly, it was not a winning moment. So then Austin is like, yeah,

Austin all of a sudden pretending like he's a gentleman. He's like, yeah, I've seen Chepi Rouge Taylor a few times. Didn't say anything about it, of course. Didn't say anything. But yeah, it doesn't sit well. It shouldn't sit well with Taylor either. Just insane right now. It's insane when idiot she is. So Naomi takes Taylor inside and they say, walk off, Shepkaz.

Instantly, great catch Naomi, great catch Naomi. Jesus. So they go in and Naomi's like, yeah, he shouldn't talk to you like that. That's like a piece of his like fuck cell. And she up goes, the worstification of America continues. Everybody gets a trophy. I suppose you're gonna go to drag queen, story time, next, a bunch of woke losers.

How is he talking about the wussification of America when he is the one having the tantrum? He is the one who's the wussy here. We crying like a little boy screaming that everybody else is a wussy. I mean, a guy who has nothing has to do nothing his whole life because he was given everything, crying because he didn't win the medal in an egg toss. Yeah, exactly. So, Shep and John go off to play basketball, which answers the question I think we had last week,

which is like, wait, why is Shep packing up basketball jersey to go to a Frank Lloyd Wright house? There's a basketball court. So Austin is like, yeah. So, like the whole shut up Taylor thing does not mesh well with women. I'm like, doesn't mesh well, I think it probably doesn't mesh well with anyone who has like any sense of respect for other people, not just women. I'm like, doesn't mesh well, I think it probably doesn't mesh well with anyone who has like any sense of respect for other people.

Not just women. And Craig's like, yeah, well the girls are already pissed and like, I don't know, we're supposed to say that moment, but I'm disappointed because I've never seen Shep talk to her like that. I mean, I've seen him talk to other people like that, but usually I don't know. They're like checkout workers or maids or Daxie drivers. Actually, I saw him talk to the mayor like that one time. That was kind of funny.

So Marcy's like, well, John would never to look to me like that. And then she tells us, you know, I've known shit my whole life, even before I was pregnant, which I am right now. And he's just always been like that. He has tantrums. He cusses at his mom. He'll just be like, this is effing ridiculous. I'm not effing going.

I don't want to effing do it. But he knows better because he was raised better. I'm like, actually, he was not raised better. But he's not raised better. Yeah, because he's like, I'm in a great parents. And she's just very wild. He's just very hard to tame. No, that's, we're not gonna do the. And she's just very wild. He's just very hard to tame.

No, we're not gonna do the boys, we'll be boys thing. It's not that he's hard to tame. He has severe emotional problems. I'm sorry, he was not raised better. I feel bad for his mom who, whatever's going on in that household, but they did not instill some sort of respect. You can't just curse at your mom like that. The fact that that going on in that household, but they did not instill some sort of respect, like, that you can't just, like, curse at your mom like that.

The fact that that was, like, normalized in their household. I don't know what's going on, but it is bullshit, and I do not stand for it. Yeah, just keep silent, does checks. You're doing great, parents. Yeah. So then Naomi and Taylor are inside, and Naomi's like, that was insane.

Like, what just, like, happened, like, like, it happens, like, a lot, I can tell. Does he not let you eat Rice Krispie's treats when you want to at coffee shops? I see the size. Wink once if you're not allowed at Rice Krispie treat. So, she tailors like, it happens often. And it was like the fact that you're like lucky,

I didn't say something were that he says, like you're lucky I didn't say something worse than fucking idiot in front of all your friends. Like that is abuse, that is abuse. And Taylor's like, I don't even hear it because I'm just so accustomed to it. I didn't even hear it. And then when he comes in,

and he's like, oh, well, he's kind of a horrible animal. I mean, he doesn't mean it. He's supposed to shit this stupid. He doesn't think like, why Shep get a pass for this? You know, like, especially because, you know, like if it were like a woman, it'd be like, well, she's a craven, craven fixin', you know? Like, but like, with Shep, it's like,

oh, he's a feral animal. Like, why is it everyone else's job? It's a have to, like, you know, like adjust their behaviors for the feral animal. I say, put the feral animal in a cage and do something with it. Get it out of the general population or set it off to the woods.

Whatever you do with the feral animal, whatever you do to make yourself light, your life easier when you're in the feral animal. But it's how it's comit. I mean, you shouldn't say feral animal because that does soften me to shop. I'm like, oh my God, all the way to some hoe. I just think of, you know,

I just think of the video I just saw yesterday of the rabbit fox attacking a lady. Oh God, I don't watch this. I have that block. Is it a rabbit fox becoming best friends with a rabbit bunny and then hugging? I'll watch that video. And then music plays and then like we're in show up on screen saying best friends. Yeah, I'll watch that So anyway, yeah Whitney apologizes for chef and Naomi's like well if you'd love to you

He wouldn't like put you in that situation and Taylor says but I love it I love it And when I'm trying to fix him, I mean that's on him But I do care a whole hell of a lot about that person, but I am exhausted. Yeah, because you're with the fucking asshole, okay? Child. Oh my. You're with a child who you are trying to fix,

despite the fact that you said you're not trying to. Of course you're trying to fix him. You don't want to be with that, you know? That is not fixable, okay? Yeah. So now over the basketball court, Chef is still fuming. He's like, I'm sick of everyone.

Hey, she came up to my egg in my face and stomped it. What's the proper response? I don't know, like laugh or be like, oh, no, you're not supposed to do that. Like, let's get another egg. Like, I don't know, like, there's actually like a million better responses

than what he did. And Marcy's like, well, I think they're on that that you call the Rennidia, bud. And he's like, hey, she came in from my head. She's talking to my head in my face, in my face. She's well, just don't call her Rennidia. And he's like, oh, please, I say that to my mom. Not a good reference point.

Not bad. You're not helping. It's not gonna work. So then he shoots a hoop. And Marcy's like, well, you know, maybe say sorry because like you were either in the moment. And he goes, no, I'm never gonna say sorry. Maybe she can get Craig.

And he can say, I'm sorry. And when he wakes up, sorry. How was your day? Sorry. Maybe she should say, I'm sorry. By the way, I think now's a good time to point out. Someone told us that Shep didn't even keep little Craig. That little Craig the dog is the Vinguishup's parents.

Oh really? Discuss a monster, okay? You know, it's just a fucking monster. I've never seen a more sorry person than this person doesn't want to say sorry. So Whitney is like, oh, oh, oh, is your counsel and attorney? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, talk to each other. She's a oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, well, because Naomi made her upset. Aw, everybody sucks. Yeah, because everybody's like walking away from him.

You know, he's like, everybody sucks. So, Chef is telling us, so I talk to Taylor like I talked to my family. I mean, my dad would come home and we would just roast him at the dinner table. It's sarcasm, it's meddling. And that like, sorry, that's just how I was raised. That's just so you were raised.

So you were spoiled and your parents had no boundaries and they gave you everything and didn't discipline you. You were probably an awful child. And guess what, all of your parents' friends hated inviting you guys over because you'd go over to their parents' friends house and break shit. Okay, so guess what? Everyone hated you and you were a child.

That's what we've just learned. So he walks off all mad. He's like, this is never her fault ever. Oh, couldn't possibly be hurtful. So Craig and Austin are talking now, and Craig. We get tinkling piano music, like self-help from the 80s tapes, you know. It's like, yeah. And Craig's like, so are we gonna do it again? Just pretend that nothing happened and go on with the day. Oh, that's the crags specialty.

He's insane right now, a lot. Why don't I have any problems with you? I mean, I don't have any problems. Craig, you've broken up with him twice in a day. Okay. You said we're not friends. What? Well, you could have fooled me. It was I think for like the first time I feel like I ever heard What? You could have fooled me.

It was I think for like the first time I, I feel like I ever heard Austin say you could have fooled me and I was like, actually I co-signed that you could have fooled me. So Craig gets like, he's like, well, I got upset because like you were in a defending shape and like, are you kidding me? Like the guy is supposed to be like my best friend is like, now you're coming on me

and that's like feeling of like not having my back as well I got so upset, you know, because I was like wait hold on. Let me one hand juggle this 40 Got it. Okay. That's why I like got so upset because I was like I would do fucking it juggle con it anything for us. I do anything for Austin Isn't that what friendship is your Your best friends supposed to tell you when you're doing something stupid or dare I say insane right now? Yeah, but the timing goes back

because like I took it as an attack that you could have just said, like, hey buddy. And then Craig just takes the empty beer can and throws a behind his shoulder on the ground. These people are all monsters. And I'm gonna go on the record is saying not a fucking one of you is raised right. Who acts like this? The only like silver lining is truly the literal silver lining that Joel Silver will have

to pick up that stuff, although I'm really not because he's just going to make other people do it. He's not going to pick that shit up. Joel Silver is not going to walk around. He's going to have some coped out hook or walking the grounds picking it up. So, um, so, so then Austin, so correct. Like, well, the timing was off and I didn't handle it right. And, you know, I like, I received this and attacked. I was like, well, I could have said it better. I could have said it better. Maybe a little bit less saliva, you know, but like, I hate battling you, you know, like I hate waking up and like knowing that you're a breakfast without me

And the piano's like We both we both could have discovered that big and rap potato together It's like really broomancy and he's like I shouldn't say some messed up because it's not how I feel But we're basically just seeing stuff to hurt each other It's like not how like I feel or anything like that. It's like saying I want a coffee But what I really want is a chai tea, you know, it's like not really honest to how I feel I know but sometimes I have to be the guy that's like Do I have to try tea crad?

Guys, you're saying right now So Craig makes him hug him. He's like what you don't try to cheat Craig, guys, you're the same right now. So Craig makes him hug him. He's like, what, you don't want to hug me? I mean, what? Like, come on. We're not going to just act like everything's okay. So they hug.

And I was like, I can't just keep doing the cycle, Craig. I can't just keep doing the cycle. Craig is like, then let's work on it, buddy. And then it got to, John, just shooting bricks on the basketball court. Like, here comes another one. Kobe. Oh, well, let me try that from the top. Okay. Kobe. No, let's do one more time. Kobe. All right. One cup. That's like, okay, John. No. So Craig and Austin go to the tennis court and Craig is asking why storm, uh, step just storm stormed out and Whitney's like,

I've suggested Pete, talk to Taylor cause she seemed a bit upset and I'll be like, oh, so Marcy says, I talked to him and I said apologize and he said I will never apologize, fuck you, you dumb, the fitness. I said, but I'm pregnant, she'll be 10 fuck your baby, too.

I was like, ah, that's'm pregnant. Shep, he's fucking made me tell. I was like, God, that's all shut. Chip off the old block. God, we've been friends in a good job. And Crickus, I did one of those ones. Now it needs dating her and she won't stop following me around and talking about she's obsessive, maybe, basically. I'm talking about Naomi in case anyone couldn't figure it out. Oh, you did? Okay, never mind. Olivia and Naomi are still, I mean, Taylor and Naomi are still talking.

And Taylor's like, oh my God, now he's going to come in here and be like, can we talk? And then we go, I will literally fight him for you. If you like, want me to like him. She goes, I don't know if I can do it. So she stays and chef walks in and kind of hears that and he looks, he watches Taylor walking out crying and just looks at me. I mean, gives us dirty look to nail.

Yeah. And he's like, okay, go ahead, lay it on me then. Yeah, he walks in, he's got his hands on his hips like, oh, fine, I guess I have to apologize now. And so, now I'm just like, okay, so what attitude is that? And he goes, what? Cause Taylor's crying because of the way you spoke to her and the way you're treating her.

He's like, okay, I am not Mr. Say Everything Right all the time. And if that's a problem, then look elsewhere. Cause I'm sure there's a guy who's a fucking boring accountant and he worships the ground you walk on. Go get him. I'm like, yeah, that actually sounds like a great idea. Okay. Someone who treats you perfectly and has a solid income

and is like, you know, sounds like a standup person. I say Taylor, find your CPA. Yeah, hell yeah. I know what's gonna say. It's the same thing we've been saying for weeks. We're like, go get him. Go get him. So Naomi's like,

Shep apologize. It's not like a weakness to say, I'm sorry, okay? It's actually like a strength, unless you're doing it to Craig, who does him to serve it. So fuck that guy, you know what I mean? And Shep's like,

all right, fine. Okay, I guess what? I'm just gonna change who I am. How's this change who I am? Anybody got a Nixon mask I can wear when I go in there? All right. She goes, is that what I just said to you? change why I am anybody got a Nixon mask I can wear when I go in there all right she is that what I just said to you I told you to apologize I mean what I say and I say what I mean

I'm like actually two seconds ago you said I'm not Mr. say everything right all the time so is that the same thing as I say what I mean and I mean what I say was so Taylor's crying and she calls Craig who's with Marcy and she says that she wants to leave and Marcy's like, no, but let us talk to you. Come on, you haven't really experienced anything until you've heard me try and explain this all the way. Come semi-justify and tell you to put up with it because maybe you'll get a couple of hundred dollars a month for the rest of your adult life. Yeah. So then meanwhile Austin Olivia are now gonna have a conversation. Olivia, which is always are now going to have a conversation.

Olivia, which is always the best way to start a conversation, is you've been far away for like a week now. So then Olivia and Austin just like walk to a pond. And they're like walking, talking about how they're going to go to like the alligators. And it's like the notebook or whatever, except I never wanted the notebook to end

the way through with like a horrific alligator attack. Well, that's what it is, right? Because she's like, let's go look at those alligators and I'll give them a meal. And he's like, oh, what? I'm like in the notebook, like, which one am I? She's like, not the romantic one. That's for, you're far from Noah, my dude.

And he's like, well, what if I throw you? She's like, God, you're so romantic. So anyway, they sit down and talk about the dog wedding. She's like, honestly, I haven't even like talked to you since the dog wedding, which is in itself a weird sentence, but like, you know, what about Naomi in the state situation?

And he's like, well, I know it was like my fault for being like, let's take a slow, and then like you did exactly what I told you to do, it's just insane, though, it never happens. But like everything that's done the opposite of my life is like a problem with my own decision making, you know, but I don't want to do it with a bit of else. I want to take you.

She goes, oh really? So then like, what did you do after that party? And he goes, he just shrugs, like, hmm, he goes, what did I do? Yeah, well normally what happens here is that a livian I go off with some friends and have some fun. And we couldn't do that. She's like blaming her again. Which by the way, you know, Sierra is watching this feeling just great, right?

Just got used a fucking gun. And this is supposed to be a romantic scene. Like oh my God, it's me, a sweetheart. So Olivia is like, so did you go off with other friends? He goes, uh, but yeah, yeah, I mean with, are you saying the declaration of independence right now with your lips? Well, no voice is coming out. Amen.

Sarah with seer. Sarah. So she goes, so did you not know that I knew about you and see see Sienna hanging out and he goes, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that.

I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm not gonna be able to do that. a little bit like did you go home with her? He goes, uh, it was a great time to reconnect. And the fact that we haven't spoken and everything, you're basically trying to like now like wax almost like, not poetic, but you're just trying to soften it.

Be like, actually it was like a really meaningful moment dotted out of that. And she's like, this is bullshit. Because no, it makes sense that you're like, what did you do? Yeah, it makes no sense. Yeah, I said, it makes no sense that you're being like, what did you do? And, it makes no sense. Yeah, he said, oh, it makes no sense that you're being like, what did you do? And she goes, I mean, how are you so bothered by my blind date setup?

When you yourself were out there that night with someone you have a password, I think it's Olivia, Olivia. Just actually bothered you, Olivia. That doesn't actually bother you, Olivia. And she's like, I mean, I just wish you could have told me. And he's like, well, I'm thinking about you a lot because I really do like you. And I'm like, hey, you know what?

I don't want to date other people. I want to date you. At this point, I'm sad because I feel like I was rooting for Olivia to move past Austin and just like, bang the hot guy. And now she's going back to him. And she's like, well, I don't want to see you with other people either.

And you're someone I genuinely care about and let's just communicate and be honest from now on and we'll talk to each other. Okay, that's going to be fun, right? And he's like, yeah, I wasn't saying right now. Like, oh, sad. Gross. So in Taylor's room, Craig, Chef comes to talk to Taylor finally and Craig's like, no, wait, you need to talk to me for some cars, Craig, Shepp comes to talk to Taylor finally and Craig's like, no way you need to talk to me for it. She's a course Craig!

So come on, talk to me. So I go outside and Craig's like, listen, you met the one girl in the world who loves you for who you are, right? Like she doesn't ask you to change and you said this is you. I know I appreciate that. I don't love that about her But asking you to be like, kind of considerate is in asking you to change, Shab. A Shab's just staring off in a space. Like, he's not gonna yell, but he's totally bored. And he's refusing to listen. He's like blocking this out.

He's like, whatever happened, upset her. So you go, hey, baby, I didn't mean to upset you. Not you shouldn't have gotten upset. And Shab goes, all right, listen, I just created every relationship the same. Women and men. And I'm like, well, that's because you ultimately like fundamentally, Shep doesn't care about anyone he interacts with. So they're all interchangeable, which is why he can talk to his mom the same way he talks to this

person or that person, man, a female, because he ought to be the only care about himself. So he doesn't care about anyone else. He's the kind an interact interchangeably. Literally my face is coming off right now while I talk. But it's funny because he is afraid of being called a misogynist, but not an art assistant, you know. It's like, oh, not a misogynist. I'm just extremely selfish and only care about me.

Like, that's so much better, uh, shout. Yeah. Also, no one called you a misogynist. Even if that was another dude that you were dating, you couldn't talk to them like that. No, exactly. Yeah. So, yeah.

So, he's like, but you have a choice to make, you know? And he's like, well, I guess I will apologize, because I do love her. And he goes, yeah, life is choices, you know? Like, some people choose memory foam and some people choose goose feather, but some people are allergic to goose feather. So they choose like fake goose feather. Or are you talking about pillows again?

I am. They're fulfilling. I just, I don't want to see you down, Shep. Thanks, I appreciate that. That's why I think memory film is a better option for you than down. Oh, I thought you had genuine concern. So, Shep then goes inside and he's like,

can we please talk, babe? Please, please, please. I said it three times. She's like, she goes, I'm like, she goes, I'm like, I don't know. So he's like, okay, please I beg you. So they go into the bedroom and she sits down and then he lies down on the bed and puts his hand behind. I mean, even his body language.

It's like, you can't fucking sit up and have a conversation. He's like laying down looking at her like, you know, babe, you know. So Marcy leaves and everything. And he's like, you know, I don't wanna be that couple to everybody's like, are they okay? Cause like we're okay. I mean, we're okay.

I think we're okay, right? No, Chef, you're not fucking okay. What are you getting? What part about like bringing your girlfriend to tears over an egg toss game says that you guys are okay? She goes, you know, I'm sorry. Actually she doesn't know you're sorry because you've said a million times,

I will never apologize. And you've equated a apologize into changing like who you like are intrinsically. And he goes, and you know I love you. I don't love anybody except for you. Am I perfect? Fuck no. By the way, him saying I don't love anybody except for you

is totally a mind fuck, right? Isn't that like the classic narcissist playbook? Like it's only you, it's only you, right? Like I hate all like you accept you. Like you're so fucking lucky. Like I like you. Yeah. And then is the typical fuck boy emotional abuse or monologue, right? Am I perfect? No. Am I difficult? Absolutely. Am I stubborn? Am I opinionated? Am I loud? Do I have teeth that look like they were made out of

used doors from old houses? Sure. All those things, but I really appreciate you dealing with it and I'm a better person when I'm with you I'm no fool, but if I'm not good enough That's okay. I'll be sad and I'll be broken hearted, but I'll be understand I'll be understanding about it. Oh, okay. So now you're the victim. Yeah. And you're just not perfect. And so it's her fault for not being able to deal with imperfections in a person. She can only deal with perfect people.

So at the end of the day, it's really her fucking problem. She gets nothing for nothing. So Taylor said, she goes, she's like, well, I didn't even hear you call me an idiot because it's just like, it was like whatever. And then like when Olivia threw that egg at you, she said, don like well, I don't even hear you call me an idiot because it's just like It was like whatever and then like when Olivia threw that egg at you She said don't call you don't call you or her that like she said he called you an idiot You said I would have called you something worse and I was like wow Okay in front of all your friends that like it's this angry

Inter being that comes out and I don't know what it is and it does scare me and I love you so much and my family loves you immensely but I haven't exhausted and sometimes I want to quit and I don't think you're a totally lost human being which is why I'm here I'm going to I'm gonna fix you there I said I'm gonna fix you I'm doing it I'm fixing him oh this is the grossest he goes it's called course correct okay and that's why I'm with you. Cause I need someone like you. Is this a fucking job position? This isn't about needing someone like her. It's like you fill all the needs. You put up with all of my attitude. You put up with everything. You're pretty and you're still with me. Won't you stay like I think you need to be saying

like I need you. Not someone like you. I love you. Not be saying like I need you not someone like you I love you not someone who can put up with your shit you like what's one thing you like about Taylor other than something that has to do with you. I'll make fucking name one. That's such a great point and like how about you do something to enrich Taylor's life rather than just expecting her to merely enrich yours. So Taylor's like she's like I just want you to work enrich yours. So Taylor's like, she's like, I just want you to work on being vulnerable and putting your ego aside and being kind to people. I'm like, well, good luck with that, Taylor.

But I told all those people I love their mac and cheese and I even hold one of them, friend. Are you saying I can't throw cucumbers over to my shoulder anymore? I mean, let's come on. Like, I'll adjust a little bit, but let's not ask the world, right? So, he's like, I'm sorry, the classic,

I'm sorry, you're upset. Yeah. Why don't you be upset? Why don't you be happy? So next week, we get some soap opera action where Paige has worked herself up into a tizzy over this whole Naomi thing and is finally like, oh Naomi's like, can we talk outside?

She's like, yeah, okay, I'm just gonna go there. Like, do you stop feeling for Craig? And Naomi just looks at her like. I feel like I just feel bad for Paige because I don't, I feel like what Paige doesn't realize that like she and Naomi would be like so great together. Like I can see Naomi being on summer house and like you know, those afternoon sessions where they crawl into bed and I'm like,

oh my God, did you see what Kyle was doing? It's like yeah, it was like disgusting. I know, it's like ew, like why does he even do that? I know, I was playing the same way like ew Let's say it together. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh my god. That was fun. Oh my god Well everybody, thank you so much for being with us for another episode of Southern job We will be back next week Don't forget Monday is winter is crappening day for episode two of House of the Dragon

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