Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Eighth Time's The Charm

Episode Date: June 25, 2022

Season eight of Southern Charm premiered this week, and there's already so much drama out of the gate: did Naomie and Craig DO IT? Will Kathryn and Naomie mend fences? And what will happen to Shep and Craig? Looks like a fine mess to us!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch or Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo. We just love to talk about Unbend Mandelker and joining me today on this interesting day is Mr. Ronik Haram. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Extremely pissed off. Our country and our Supreme Court. Thanks for asking. How are you doing, Dan? You know, I think I'm right there with you. I'm

right there with you. And I'm to a channel that rage directly into Southern Charms today. I feel like could there be a better conduit? Could there be a better conduit? Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. And you know, we try not to spend a lot of time on this show for politics and everybody's

down front. You know what? Go fuck yourself. Supreme Court. Fuck yourself. And everybody who supports them, fuck you, Jew. And turn this shit off because this is not made for you. And if I could go to the RSS feeds and block your asses from even listening to this, I

would. Okay. So now we can go on. That's all I'll say. Yeah. It's absolutely infuriating. It's terrible. It's terrible.

It's so retrograde and horrific to actually revoke rights from people and guess what Ronnie? We're next, but I do want to say real quickly that from today today is Friday through Sunday. I reopen my came matching. I'm not reopening my cameo, but I will be matching the donation Go make go make bent tap dance everybody I know I was about to say be kind I'm all I think they're gonna be on the shorter side because I already have like a bunch and I'm sorry I cannot do two-minute Ramona impressions for every single person. Okay, you know what? I'm sorry I'm doing it right now. I'll be like Tadra call one mass for mon impersonation right now at this moment. Yeah, I'll definitely be matching those. Thank you. That's for you. But that's yeah, that's some that's some bullshit. So it's a major bullshit. We'll move on just as life does. Well, we're going to do our part.

Our little part in this is that we are now going to provide a distraction. They will for both all of you guys, but also for us. This is one of the perks of this job is that for an hour to 90 minutes, we can just shut out the outside world and focus on these idiots on Bravo, which can be very therapeutic sometimes, especially on a day like today.

Yes, listen, the religious zealots I'm gonna handle today are Bravo Religion, the only religious zealots I'm gonna handle today are Bravo religion. The Bravo religion zealots, the rest of you can go fuck yourself. Hey, and listen, fucking yourself, at least you won't get pregnant. Yeah, that's true. One hopes. Unless you will be something special. Hope you don't want to marry yourself, because that's going to be a problem shortly. All right, dropping that. That's great. That's fun. Super great. Also, we actually do have announcements pertaining to the podcast, which is Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip season two.

The next episode will be up later today, so check your feeds and then episodes two and three, which also launched last night. They will be first on Patreon next week and then they'll be on the main feed around July 4th. So that's just how we're with that way. We can give ourselves a little break for that holiday and that's what's going on with that. So if you're like, where is episode two and three, they'll be up next week on Patreon. So, yeah. That's what you know. Like you said, they also will be free, surely, all right.

Okay, so let's get into this. You know, no matter what's going on in the world, this sound can make me happy. Ba-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Craig Conifer has been the person to crack the code of the old adage that's like the two things that are short in life death and taxes. Well guess what also was short in life pillows. People need pillows and Craig Conifer has realized that and now he is succeeding and he has a shop sewing down south and he's standing outside his shop on King Street and he's like ordering some some person to arrange pillows. He's like, we're gonna do a blue square,

from Karl Square, and blue square, and Karl Blue there, Karl there, blue, Karl Blue. It's like, sir, you're actually at Starbucks, you have to go back to your store now, make sure it's since there. Blue Square, Karl Square, blue square. And the guy is behind a glass window. He can't hear Craig.

And so he's putting them, however, and looking at Craig and he's like, no, I said blue square there, coral square there. Craig, it's, it's glass. Yeah, here you Craig. It also sounds like an awful show on the Game Show network. Like blue square, coral square, the show where you arrange blue squares and coral squares to make the best display possible.

That's when the gauge at the really has worked. Yeah. Blue Square Coral Square. We're like, wait a minute. Blue Square Coral Square teal square. Go. It's like you all lose. The only person who wins is the gay person.

This is the speed. Later that night, Craig will just be at home riding on his wall like a beautiful mind blue square quarrel square blue square quarrel square Wait, Craig come to bed. I get until I figure out blue square quarrel square Then we go over it well first we get a And um chef is you know just older Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And Chef is, you know, just older. You know, that Chef's storyline.

He's just older and more better. And he's in bad waking up. And he's like, Craig, come here, gosh, dog Craig, gosh. Dog Craig is like, woof, this square, real squirrel, woof, woof. So then he's like cuddling with Craig the dog. And then Taylor's there too.

And he's like, oh gosh, he kissed me. Are you jealous? Are you jealous? You know that Taylor's like cuddling with Craig the dog and then tailors there too. Oh gosh. He kissed me. Are you jealous? Are you jealous? You know that Taylor is like, thank God, I don't have to deal with a morning breath today. You take it Craig. You're taking one for the team Can I put some chief base on his tongue and just have him go at your mouth? Then we go home we go we go home. Then we go home. Oh my God, why is Ronnie throwing things at the wall? Just kidding. We got to love us home. Um, and she's with her kid in her home office. And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna play.

And she's like, you know, why mommy has to work? So we can buy your toys. And he's like, my lollipops. All right, listen here, you are ungrateful. Uh-huh. Now you know, this is being annoying on us, be gay. If you don't shape up, I'm going to say get out of my home. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Austin, you know, also older, his hair is drawier.

That's all that's really changed with him in the five minutes it's been since we've seen him. Thanks, Bravo. Let's just keep this going year-round. You know what, Can we get some of the vote on this? Let's vote for the important things. Do we need Austin on our TVs year round? Okay. Overturn Austin. Thank you. So America versus Austin. So yeah, he's, he has like a little spritzer thing and he's spraying it out of Moisa. He's spraying his plants, which is totally redundant because all he has to do is speak. And then he has like a ball or an orange and he's like trying to a moorza. He's spraying his plants, which is totally redundant because all he has to do is speak. And then he has a ball or an orange, and he's trying to put it on his table

or in some sort of vessel, and it rolls off. He's like, damn it! Damn it! I was like, wow. Even inanimate objects are trying to get away from Austin. So then we go to another apartment building. I always like a Catherine scene at the beginning of the season, because it's like, where is she living now?

It's never the same. You know, it's always somewhere different. It's like, does this place have a window air conditioning or central air? You think, where are you mine? Does this place have an enormous bang that startles everyone who enters the home or is it like Victorian and haunted?

You know, so she's blonde now. That's her big storyline. And she is staging Caleb, her boyfriend. And she's like, yeah, what you do with Sage is you think about all the things that have been stressing you out and you let it go. She just sage us in. Let's say, I don't care who you are.

If she starts staging my ass, you're about to get A fifth to my okay So the root is not today. I can see don't say sage me today. You will not be staging me today Not on Friday June 24th 2022. You will not be staging me. This will be your last day of sage Don't sage us That's shit near me. Don't sage us. You can just say it's me, Eminem me, okay?

Come in peace. Ice coffee me please. Carvell me. I'm actually going to Carvell later today. It was actually part of the plan already, but now it's even more necessary. I'm Carvell me right now, very badly. Yeah, that would be great.

I hear you. If someone just came into my mind. I'm just gonna go and instacar and press a check mark next to all of the ice creams And then I'm gonna just lay them out on the countertop and I'm just gonna dive into whatever I fucking feel like I Want to make InstaCart cry? I want to be where it says like did you forget something? I'd be like yes this like okay Do you forget anything else? Yes? Did you forget anything else? Yes, please? Please tell me you didn't forget anything else He didn't serve you don't you know not to do this sir. I forgot that too. You don't sir. You don't

I can't stop offering suggestions. We're pleased for the good of life. Please stop please stop adding to your court. Yeah So then we go to Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap to be timeier. Yeah, we just assumed the worst, but we forgot that this is still the south and the south will uphold tennis. I don't know, I just made that up. I feel like pickleball started in the south and I have no data to back that up.

It just sounds like such a Southern thing, though, pickleball. I feel like it started by a tech bro in San Jose and they called it pickleball because they were drinking picklebacks and then they thought they were clever and then they said pickleball. That's my theory. Oh yeah, I don't know what a pickleback it. Okay, then the South Pole is like pickleballs. Yeah, pickleback I think is like pickle juice and whiskey or something like that.

Yeah, it's a drink. So it turns out this house is Naomi's house. Naomi's back everybody. Which made me happy. I love Naomi. I love Naomi because she's so like Iroly. Like she really rolls eyes. She's like one of the best Irolers on Bravo.

And I feel like she's getting a villain at the season, which I'm like, that's great. I think that's great for her to be a villain. Yeah, I mean, I think that's the fun of me, right? She's a villain. Like she's kind of like a villain that you'd hang out with. But everybody, I read a lot of the Bravo Facebook feeds or whatever just to see what the audience is thinking.

Take a temperature out there, everybody. And oh my God, they're like, oh, she was so mean to crack. I hate her. I hate crack. I hate her. I hate her, how can I ask? She was mean to crack. Poor innocent little Craig. I know. It was so many new him.

I've always supported Naomi's meanness to Craig, okay? Because Craig was lying to her. He was like, lying to everyone saying he was a lawyer and all this stuff and he was at home and sewing and like, I think that like it wasn't that she I don't think she cares if he had a hobby is just that like he was claiming to be doing one thing and then doing another thing and not being really honest with themself and then once he was honest with himself what he really wanted of life he started to thrive which is great for Craig but I totally support Naomi being like fuck this guy. supportive Naomi being like, fuck this guy.

Yeah, some bullying is fun, I think. So Naomi was like, oh my God, I'm so kidding, my ass kicked it. Tennis, because you know, it's Naomi. And Venita's like, well, I've been practicing so watch out. And then they start going over high school memories together. And Naomi's like, yeah, I remember in high school, when we had a tennis team, I was like, last. And oh my god, remember when we used to go to the football games,

she's like, no, I didn't go to football games. You went to football games. She's like, no, no, I'm pretty sure it was both of us. No, it was, you know, yeah, Naomi goes, oh, yeah, because you were a nerd. And she, if you need to go, I was was a nerd and then because I was cool Which I actually feel like that's a hundred percent true like I'm sure name is like You're a nerd and Vinnie just says that in school all the other girls would make fun of her because they'd be like Oh my god, what are you wearing? That's not been your advice And I'd be like yeah, it's called fashion girls.

And then I got into modeling and the whole influencer thing took off and now look at me. Weak to the camera. By the way, you know that Austin still uses, still says that to people in parts. What are you wearing? That's not vineyard vines. It's insane right now.

He's saying get to people in the pickleball court. Vinnie doesn't fashion on the tennis court, my hearing of it all. That's actually a perfect metaphor. I'm in tennis, you're in pickleball. It's like some terrible selling sunset song. So yeah, Benito is, yeah, this is how she became an influencer and everything. And Naomi says she's sort of sad coming back to Charleston because she thought she was going to go to New York and grow and have this wonderful life with Matool. The thought of coming back was very depressing for her understandably. She tells us the whole

story about how she and Matool moved to New York. She had a big going away party and 10 days later, only 10 days later. She found out that douchebag who doesn't even deserve Naomi was cheating on her. Yeah, before you share a Zilla account, you should definitely be signing it as somebody's eye cloud. I'm just going to say that right now. You need to track that fucker if you're going to even go to a third dinner with him. Yeah. So I like how Naomi's framing all of this to, because she's like, well, some of us peaked in high school, okay?

So, what can I say? And I've sat about being back here, you know, my tells between my legs, this sucks, basically. Yep. And Venita says, well, but it's nice to have you back, you know, you were losing yourself with that guy. And Naomi's like, yeah, I was molding myself into who I thought he wanted me to be. And I was like, oh, and then we see a clip of her being like, famous. I said, no, thank you. I don't want to do more pushups and him going, I said, I don't care.

And then of course, the thing, the real turning point, I think, for a lot of us was Naomi wanted to eat a bagel. And he was like, that's diabetes in a bag or something. Whatever it was. Is diabetes in the Iran wrap? Wasn't it a Rice Krispie street? Was that what it was? Was that what's in my head for some reason? I don't know if that's true, but for me, that would be a deal breaker. I mean, I'm projecting my deal breaker onto the scene,

but the, the, the guy is a douchebag. And, and the truth is this, you know, we, we met met tool when we did our Charleston show. And I was like, Oh, he seems so lovely. And then you and our two friends who were with were all like, that goes a douchebag. I was like, what? And I think I was just maybe like, I thought, I also have to say, I didn't see it. And I think that maybe because he was hot. I have to fess up to it and I'm ashamed. But I learned a valuable lesson. Hot people are often dicks.

So thank you for teaching that. Oh, do not have Instagram. I'm like, what the hell? It's like you've been in the school the whole time, but you're just now learning the lesson. Which actually I get. So, I swear. But yeah, we did leave that dinner, like, fuck that guy.

That guy sucks. You're like, nah, he was awesome. I was like, you're a great, I love the girl, guys. I think I was just, I think there was a part of me that also wanted him to be great because I was happy for Naomi. I thought like Naomi got this hot guy to be a doctor. This is great for her.

Like, I'm,'m like she deserves this and You know I fell into the same trap as Naomi. I feel like in some ways I was the one who was who was cheated on by a mature so You got matured I got matured so Leva calls while they're in the car. She calls Naomi and she's like so oh my god You guys are playing tennis, you know little Lamar's in tennis, right? So anyway, have you seen Craig? Just calling to stir some shit, you know, it's like day one of shooting. Let's go.

Love and know the assignment. Yeah, exactly. She's like, I'm just so glad I don't have to like spend the season having to like teach Catherine how to not be a racist so I can get back to my true passion meddling. So, yeah, so then Naomi is like, well, what do you mean have I seen Craig? And I was like, oh, you know, just saying, like, have you seen him? Because like, like, was that, you see him without being weird or anything like that? And then I was like, uh, yeah. And then we learned that two months ago.

Naomi went to Vegas with friends. And Leva was there with her family, but Craig was there too with his friends and yeah I mean we met up. The producer says for drinks and she says I've seen Craig and that's all I'm gonna say about that. So yes they met up and they hooked up clearly. So now anybody who has watched the endless southern charm crossover with Winterhouse or whatever, southern charm crossover. So now we're starting to see Craig's thing. So Craig wasn't committing because he was still kind of seeing Natalie. So I'm not Natalie.

Her too. We'll find out. Natalie and Paige. Yeah. Yeah. And potentially, Chris and Gavallari, I feel like people who only watch Southern Charm must be very confused by so much of what's going on. Right. Cause now, like looking back, I was like, wow, there's sort of like a little bit of a, a tapestry that's been woven by a summer house and winter house. Yeah. And it seems

like it's 10 years later. It does seem like a high school reunion. We're like, oh my God, I'm so much fatter. How can I go to this? And then you go in and everyone's fatter and weirder. That's how I felt. It's very strange and it's weird. And it's also interesting because Summer House

will be filming. I'm assuming they are starting to film, they're filming now. They might be like literally right now, as we speak, Lindsay Hubbard could be in a car by like, oh no, what are they having? Oh my God, I'm going to go. And like, but like, but this is airing at the same time

so then it's gonna have this weird meta effect on summer house, so weird. Yeah, by the way, I'm not calling anybody on the show fat. I'm just saying like everyone's so different, you know? Like chef, I'm like, wow,'s so different, you know, like chef. I'm like, wow, chef really has is chef still living in his aunt's apartment like on friends. It's like if they have a friends reunion, you know, like, wow, is

that color purple still in Monica? But you look so different, you know, so I feel like when I see them. But anyway, Paige is calling Craig now, we're over at Craig's house. And Craig's like, hey, Gudy, miss you. I'm just working on the hell over here. Craig's voice is really, really laid down some gravel. I feel like he's the front of, he's like the circular part and the front of a house. He's that much, he's the circular driveway. He's so graveled. He's just like, what do you starworse character? Do you even have words? Yes, a lot of cigarettes.

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We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, um, he's, as Paige's like, well, I'm excited to come in for Catherine's birthday party.

I already have a dress picked out. Does it have blues squares and choral squares and blues squares and girls? Craig, you have to stop that. You have to stop. Please stop trying to make that game happen. Please. Well, I don't know if Naomi is going to be coming to the party because like Catherine doesn't like Naomi. And she's like, can answer Craig. Can answer. So then he tells us his catch up story.

He's like me and Paige that three years ago and I really liked her. But she had a boyfriend, but then you know, like a couple of months ago, we like came back into each other's life and like we were both single and that spark grew into like a Many of Ferno and then things bothered like you know things have bothered me. Oh me just like don't bother page so Yeah, well That's because you're already successful And but with Naomi you were longing to her like on a had a roll

and loafing around the house. All right, like Paige is getting the after. Right. She's not getting struggling with the sewing machine that you got like in the half-off section of the Walmart that was broken, that you didn't really know how to use. And there's like a butter, a butter knife hanging out of a wall that you stabbed. You know what I mean? I'm like, page two, have to go through that.

Yeah, page didn't have to do that, okay? So, uh, so Craig's like giving her, he's like FaceTiming and showing the, the house that he's in and she's like, Oh my God, I love that purple chair. It's great. I wanted it to be a blue jar. Craig, don't you dare say blue or coral ever again. Take, she's like, take me to the closet because I was born to organize closets. So he does. And he's like, look, see that there right now. It's just like a full-out table with some racks right.

But it's going to be a makeup vanity. And she's like, oh my god, that is so good. And then he's like showing the more of the house. He's like, look, there's no more asbestos. And things are going really well. Just, oh my god, you put all that floor down. He's like, yeah, I put that floor down. No, wait, that's amazing.

Yeah, I'm kind of the total package. I, I can call people and they can put floors in my house. So sorry, Naomi, you're really miss out on one. Yeah. Naomi just didn't appreciate my confidence. That's why. Well, yeah, because it's a half done floor. You know what I mean?

Like I'm sorry to be the Naomi in this situation, but call me when you get all the planks to fan. Call me. It's like listen, no offense, but it's been a year and a half since southern charm aired and the house is still not done so. We're total Naomi's in this. I think that's why I've always liked Naomi because I feel like I am Naomi ultimately. But the classic part of this scene was that we got the clip of oh my god Craig. Oh you do is sit at home and so What's wrong with myself?

So good so now the moment everyone's been waiting for our first true Austin scene Austin singing at a bar I would like a drop-hop please Just spitting and then chef comes up behind him. Garsh, is this guy bothering you? Garsh, garsh, garsh. And they're with both wearing their branded baseball caps cause we're in Southern charm, you know. So chefs like,

I guess I'll have a drop hop. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Show how long it's been being buddy. Oh, we got, what are you storming a free agent? Carge and also it's like I'm like Exactly for a moment. I mean like it's been a month It's been a month and then Austin tries this last year my toxic relationship I was heartbroken and we see the reunion of him pretending to cry and medicine going

And we see the reunion of him pretending to cry and medicine going Yeah, my eyes are open now and I'm the person that I want to be an asexual person I don't think that's what asexual means I may be wrong But I think just because you haven't had sex in a month doesn't mean you're asexual now It's what would be celibate. Celibate, I mean, I think asexual is what we all become when we look at Austin, but I don't think it's what Austin actually is. Yeah, I'm Austin. I think it's so funny that between that reason, because he was such a victim. And we all thought, everyone's like, oh my god, Madison, you're so mean. Get bored, Austin, it there's nothing to nobody.

And of course we've had two seasons of other shows to see what an absolute shithead he is. And so it's so funny when they show, that's why it feels like 10 years ago. I know they show these clips and Austin's like, how could you, you hurt me? You cut me to the cool kid. You cut me to the cool.

It's like, oh, God, we ever felt for that. What is this? 1996? Yeah, well, I feel like we were pretty good about really hearing that Madison. I feel like Madison was on one that reunion, but we're also like Austin's full of shit. The guys were so terrible in that reunion, they were especially Craig by the,

Craig was so condescending to Madison, and like they were just so obnoxious. I was, I think I, if I remember correctly, I don't want to misquote myself, but I feel like I was deemed Madison in that reunion. I thought you were too. I'm pretty sure I am. I think I mean like that we as like the audience

was very much like, oh Austin, poor Austin. I just would never fall for any ounce of that now. You never, never. So he's like, but look, you know, like my eyes aren't closed, never fall for any ounce of that now. You never. Never. Never. So he's like, but look, you know, like my eyes aren't closed. And his mouth is still talking some other language, well, like English words come. It's the weirdest thing.

Like he's still being dubbed over where his mouth is moving one speed, but then the words are still coming out. And so he's like, but look, mouth, mouth, mouth, mouth, mouth. My eyes aren't closed. Tongue out, tongue out. You remember Olivia, right? And she Olivia right and chefs like Olivia yeah you're remember Olivia he's like I like Olivia of course you do because all you you're only dating pool is people that the pimps who run these shows bring on to be your

next victim I know and if we ever seen him date somebody outside of this group? Sierra. While side of casting. So no, of course not. Of course not. Well, actually, I guess he started dating Madison before, before, uh, she was on the show. But oh, so I guess that was the genesis of casting for Austin. I'm like, wow, people who date Austin are really good on these shows. So yeah. Yeah. And well, and so he says, yeah, Olivia, people who date Austin are really good on these shows. So yeah. Yeah.

And well, and so he says, yeah, Olivia, I like her. She's back in town. This is the, this is like the hallowed tradition of Southern charm. Is the season begins with someone being back in town. A lot of people come back in town. I think ever since season one, when Jenna, Jenna's back in town, guys, and then Jeltsu back in town and then Peyton. Peyton's back. Well, I think Peyton just moved there and then that was one of Naomi's cruelest moments

when she just light destroyed Peyton at that Halloween party when Peyton came dressed like an avatar creature and everyone else was dressed in like cool costumes and then we never saw Peyton again. Yeah, Peyton just disappeared. I think it's because Whitney meets people at parties in LA. Yeah. Like, like, with your family in the family in the South,

because I have a TV show. So yeah, I think that's what it is. So, at John Pringle, John Pringle just moved back last season. It's always going to move back. You're back, trust him back last season. It's always going to move back. You're back, Justin, from LA. Yeah. So then we see a clip of them, Austin and Olivia at the gym

and Austin's like, oh, so we should totally go out. And I like catch up because I'm discussing right now. She's like, are you kidding me? Look at me. I'm disgusted too. And it's like, I was blooming in the air. They're both disgusting. He's so pervy because she's like, are you joking? Look at me. And he goes, I am. I'm like, this is a little.

Burn this gym down. And he's like, she scared me because I like her. I was like, oh God, he really like Austin. So with the same fuckboy of a cabbie like, he's like, she went to LA. And I was like, I'm think God, because I like her, you was like, oh God, he really like Austin. He's the same fuckboy of a cabbie like, he's like, she went to LA and I was like, I'm thin god, because I like her, you know, and she was like, but now she lives here.

And so now you gotta go down that road and you gotta see what happens. It's like, don't say that, that's insane. Since I've been single, I've met a few wonderful women, but I've been telling myself every time you meet a cool girl, it doesn't have to turn into a fucking relationship. But what you can do is tell them that it

will. And then you break their heart at the best possible time. God. Yeah, it wouldn't turn into that if you weren't acting like it was going to turn into that. Yeah, exactly. So Austin's like, well, yeah, like it just road, but I'm going to like crawl down the road. I'm going to crawl because like I'm very hurt. I'm very very hurt. Fuck boy And so I was like, well, Naomi's back too, and I heard Craig and her on our own good terms and even more than that Is that true?

And Austin's like more than good terms. No, no, and so ship goes no romanticism at all No, no, and so ship goes no romanticism at all no romanticism No, I'm not referring to romance the feeling you get with two lovers. I'm asking about an artistic movement was their romanticism between them I'm very literate because someone told me they were in Las Vegas together Hunter S. Thompson now there's a trip to Vegas together, Hunter S. Thompson. Now there's a trip to Vegas. I don't remember all the details because I was busy rewatching the Vietnam war by Ken Burns. Gosh. And I was like, no, I asked him and he said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Like him and Paige, they were like already dating. So he wouldn't do that. Why was your mouth still moving? I'm like, why was your mouth still moving? So meanwhile, now over across town, the tennis courts, the hallowed tradition of bad tennis on Bravo continues. So Vanita and Naomi are, are quote unquote hitting the ball around. But now I am appreciative of it, because now that we're in the era of pickleball, I am now glad to see tennis in some form instead of pickleball. I know. I'm like, well, look at all that movement. They must be exhausted.

Look at that large court. They have to, they have to cross. Where are the other three teams that are supposed to play on this court? I know. So, um, so anyway, so after they're done playing tennis, uh, and Venita's like, wow, I was really trying to drop a bomb in the car. And know, it's like look you know what Craig and I will always be a big part of each other's lives Like we saw each other in Vegas. We saw each other in Charleston and that's all there is to say Yeah So then we go back to shop and he's like by the way I haven't seen Craig in months I mean, it's always like a low grade effort to maintain a friendship with that guy.

Yeah, because he thinks it like you've never wanted to see him succeed. He's like, that's a shame. That's like crazy. Come on, it's me, Chef. I'm so supportive. Which is why I'm trying to own Craig's relationship my first scene on the show. Yeah. That's Craig.

I mean, let's be honest, I love him. I really want to see him do well, but how do you deal with success as an extremely telling thing? Like, do you go to New York and do you yell at a homeless person? What do you treat your friends well? What do you do? It's a crossroads. Yeah.

Oh, can you maintain friendships and be a good person? Because I don't think he wants to at all maintain friendships with me or you most of all. This is really about you and how I'm feeling about who are you and your feelings with Craig, right? So Austin's like, uh, well, I do feel like it's out his way of the highway these days. I do feel that. I do feel that. Well, I think he knows he's in the wrong and there's a small reckoning coming. Just like the Vietnam War. God, it all comes back to that. coming just like the Vietnam War. God, it all comes back to that. So we go to the playground.

They're playing basketball. And Catherine is playing with Caleb, a new friend. She goes, um, you know how I used to shoot when I played church basketball, which is funny to think of. I never think of church basketball, but I suppose that makes sense. And so Catherine, she starts saying how she and Caleb have been together for a little over a year, and they moved in after six months, and they decorate a whole house together. It was really exciting. And she says, I feel like arm arm like this is the first relationship that has moved in and steps and had a certain pace I'm like, okay, so you moved in at six months instead of like one mom, but it's still pretty quick Yeah, this is the most normal relationship I've ever been in look. We have a cappuccino machine

Music, but there's a Starbucks right down there. So I could just go get a Starbucks, but now I get to have one at home. She's like, yeah, he's not happy about that. You see a person who's not happy with the at home cappuccino machine, that they're not going to stay. No, they're not going to stay. Okay. It's just not the same. We all know it.

By the way, first impressions of Caleb, I love him. I hope he doesn't turn out. I hope I'm not being matured, okay? Because he seems wonderful, I think. He seems so sweet and funny and nice. I hope it's like, nah, I hope I'm not getting bamboozled by Bravo. Yet again, because that's sort of my history with Bravo. I'm more like, this person is great.

And then terrible things come out about them. But so far, I really like Caleb a lot. Yeah, he's a product specialist in Apple. I checked. So I like him too. I want to be his friend just so I could be like, oh my god, are they gonna be designed the iPad? Tell me all about that. Yes, somebody am I right? Hey, what do you think about bezels? No. Ha! I like we're just like Apple Gossipers. Hey! What do you think about the eye pencil? Oh my god, you know what? I don't want to say this very loud because I don't want it to become a thing, but I think that update is straining my battery.

I'm pissed. I'm pissed. Hey! Does your laptop make your thighs warm sometimes? Just wondering. Keep up between me own a Three cameras are better than what I tell anybody I said that So Catherine is just turned 30 which is crazy. It really is crazy because we were like I still think of her as like the 21 22 year old

And she's like I thought I'd be in my 20s forever. I mean, looking back on my 20s a lot happened. I had two babies, but it was also a crazy ride. Cut to Thomas. And it goes. Plot, all the greatest hits. And yeah. And she's like, but it's a new decade now, a decade to use what I learned

in my 20s and a decade to pursue what I want, not just a life that was given to me. I'm like, well, okay, so it's a new Catherine. Yeah, let's see where that goes. Because you know, Catherine is like a guy on Bravo, where Catherine is the one who every season gets a new point on her version speaking about an Apple product placement. She's like a new version every year. So she's like the carl of this show.

We're just like, all right. Well, let's see how this version goes. Come on, give it to me, Jacks. Let's check out your new OS. Yeah. You look great by the way. So yeah, so for her birthday, it's gonna be her rebirth into a real woman and she's gonna be the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Okay. So now we go over to Patricia's house where Whitney is ushering all the little doggies inside from the backyard and there's like poop on the floor.

He's like, God damn it, mother. You were just outside. Who did that fucking asshole's dick's mother? Who did that? Fucking asshole. I cannot believe this. Fucking dick's. And then he just sees some vodka on the counter and pours that on it.

Yeah, I'm entering. So Patricia starts ringing her bell. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, with me. We're we're everyone starts running out of their houses. So, uh, she's like, you sound like your man at me. One mother, the dog took a shit on the floor. Oh, he just goes, I was just like, hmm, wasn't worth the bell ring. And actually it was just to see you come in here. Wow, I love having a child butler.

He's the enzyme destroyer. It sounded the same. He's like, Oh, whoop. I used to fight. I'm like, Oh God. Man, don't waste the medicine for crying out loud. Enzyme destroyers. Am I right?

So Doc, what needs like, mother, the talk's a lot of work. You have more than enough dogs that I can contend with. What more? I didn't realize how much work they are until I didn't have Michael around anymore. Well, I mean, isn't that the case for everything? I'm like, I didn't realize that sex so much until I lost the help from the person that was doing all the stuff.

Wow, I didn't realize maintaining an enormous mansion in the middle of Charleston with several animals was a lot of work until my butler was gone. I was like, oh yeah, people were doing this for me. Yeah, but more Michael had a spinal, which affected him from the chest down. And that's crazy. Yeah, very sad. And she's like, I mean, I'm just still shocked by the whole thing because it was a shock to my heart, you know, because he had been with us for 18 years. My longest marriage lasted 15 years, so Michael is the most stable relationship. I'll ever.

I mean, who's going to throw bricks through Cooper's windows now, Whitney? Could you, can you stand for the challenge? Oh, and Whitney's like, what the dogs are up for a full time job, my, they're a full time job, my other they're full time jobs. So like, don't be sassy sassy. You might have to spank you. Sassy now brings sassy over here so I can spank it. All right, that's right. All of sassy.

Like, that's spank sassy. You said you're gonna spank sassy. It's very difficult with me. Don't leave me please. Let's do it. I may just have to spank you with me. I'm not fucked up enough for that. No, F words, sassy make a sassy sin. So then we go to Catherine at the tie store. Yes.

So she went to that tie store, remember? I do actually. I didn't remember Pat Buchanan being the person that helped us, but here he was. He's like, come on, Bayerck. Come on, Bayerck. I'm going to show you some towers. He's like this one here, a little bit more deck-goat. It has a little glitter, believe it or not. I guess Cooper tops would like this one, if you know what I'm saying. Complete heterosexuals who enjoy the company of women most of the time, you know what I'm saying welcome Welcome into Yeo Toshel

So We should go in there, but we totally went in there Just walking on King Street, and it's really pretty. So we were like checking out all the stories Yeah, and we're like checking out all the stories. And we were like, we should buy something for the tie store. I'm not sure we were trying so hard to buy things. I think I bought a pair of socks because I was like, I don't wear ties. I don't, I don't, I barely wear collars. Like, what am I in here for?

You know, and they even looked at me like that. Like they just sensed it. You know, they were like, can I help you? Like, they knew that they couldn't, you know? They said it in that way, like they're saying, there is no help for you, but let's just say I could help you, what could I do possibly? We were like big, mistake, huge.

Actually, no, actually, it's about, it's fine. It's a fine decision. Good decision. It's like $100 for socks. Do you have anything for $20 so I can say about something here? Like, here's a tow warma. I got a chunky sweater, a lot of Jack's Taylor, but I got it from the Natter Republic. So, you know, not as, it wasn't like, of Charleston. It was in Charleston, but it wasn't of Charleston.

So, Catherine tells us about her party and she's doing the typical Mushrooms here comes one right now. So Catherine tells us about her party and she's doing this typical. I want it to be an over the top cats be type production. Guys, watch the movie, watch the movie. It still sucks to be that people on Bravo insist on having gatsby parties. It doesn't end well. Okay. It's not good. And you guys are very Gatsby types. Okay. So, this is not the century you want to add. It's a new decade. Let's start it off with some Gatsby. Let's go back a hundred years. So, she wants glitz, luxury, angelic, feathers, blue squares, coral squares, crack out of my party plan. And so she facetimes Caleb and shows them some ties.

And she's like, I know you said no bow ties, but I grabbed one anyway. And he's like, well, I just don't know how to tie a bow tie. That's all she's like, typical. And the music is like very sexy. It's like, boom, boom, boom. I'm like, she's just showing ties on FaceTime. What are they trying to do here? Yeah.

It's like, wow. This is what the world should be. A lady picking out a tie for a man folk. Like, okay, people. Note that this did not take place at Gwynns. Just, you know, just putting that out there wasn't a twins scene yeah so let's see so they talked about ties and stuff and then he decides to buy him a very special scarf yeah and then we go over back over to

sewing down south and Pringle sort of ambles in in his way and he's like oh I was just walking around doing nothing and he's like yeah so, so you have a tap back there when I will turn up and be around. So then Pringle and Pringle still lay down at a mask. His Pringle is like, yeah, I've been waiting for this scene. So I was just across the street.

You have a drink. It was a little good. Yeah, here you got to tap it here. It's like Jesus Pringle. Keep it together. No, it's like I was getting wasted in a bar stool across street. And I was like, I want to get wasted

where there's pillows much easier. So I'm here I am He walks in From the battery is that will you from from the bad? I'll right prangle no miss Pat, but He's just talking to Craig about the store and we learned that this place. It's not there's been like a huge success I mean the pillows are actually very cute. It's actually very hard to find a good throw pillow and they are very cute pillows.

And they better be there like a hundred damn dollars. Are they? Yes. Throw pillows in general, the world of throw pillows is very, I feel like throw pillows and lamps are so overpriced. Lamps are like $300 and they should all be like $40 in my book and I feel like every throw pillow should be $20.

That's how I would price things. The only places I go are raw stress for less and homo goods. So this is like a different world to me. I don't understand that. So anyway, they're just talking about how the opening was really big. There was like lines on the street and like everyone came to support,

even Chef and Austin were there. And Craig's like, I really appreciate the support. I don't have many friends right now and I consider you one of them and this bother a chap and Taylor had a force him to come to the party which is funny because it sounds like I said Taylor had a force him at the party, but he didn't like being here. Well, I talked to him and he said that, you know, you think you're the king of ship mountain basically from the outside looking at me. I mean, I guess I would say there's jealousy. And you know, I was on the outside looking at me and that was like great pillows.

It wasn't even a store. It was a store down the strafels the stupid. They sold mixers. I was really in the market for a tie and I was walkers or Catherine I was a very little lady, but then I saw pillows and I came right on in here anyway I'll drop more truth bombs if you give me the other beard on things And Craig's like yeah, I was like why am I even hanging out with you like with you bring to my life like every time I talked to him It was like negativity. I was like I'm gonna like stop answering calls and then he called and like, I'd stop answering, right? But like, something else happened. I broke up with Natalie. Clip of Natalie. They're like, let's go one last shot of that.

Poor girl. That felt like a personal gift. I did just that clip of Natalie going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I rebounded with Natalie twice over the summer and I told Austin about it But what Austin didn't know was that I called Paige and told her to and so then she came down for a visit And Austin got mad at me and then it was like why don't I just tell Paige that you fuck Natalie other night and Paige goes Already knew that although she said it like this. I already knew that at like what a friend and he felt so dumb And Paige was like why are you friends with this guy? Chef and Austin are the worst friends. What a dick. They're terrible. That's fucking horrible to do to your friend. You know that's your shit.

And then of course he plays the victim in the rest of this episode like how could you do this to me like you guys suck your pieces of shit okay? And you're cut from the same beef jerky cloth, the both of you, fuck off. So, Craig is like, basically he resolved that he's like not till Austin anymore secrets. And I forgot all the cornerstones of a good friendship. Hey, if you give me a burger today, I will give you a dollar tomorrow. So, what do you think? What do you say?

He is becoming the embodiment of that guy from Popeye. Whatever's name was. Yeah. So Craig's like hanging out with someone who's not happy for your success makes you stupid. Okay, put that in the coffee table, but so then we go. Well, we're too. We'll be by the way, well,

ington Wimpy is the burger guy. Yeah, Wimpy. Yeah, I. Yeah, Wimpy. Yeah, I knew his name Wimpy. I just didn't want to say it because I felt bad. I felt bad. Wow. Like, let's protect the innocent. Yeah, I'm for Pring doll, you know, just walking around for places with taps in their back. So then we go to shop showering at home and Taylor's like, when was the last time you showered? He's like, uh, gosh, what day is it? Was it, I think it was on episode two of the Vietnam War.

The first time I watched it. So she's like, uh, so Austin's going to be coming with Olivia correct. He's like, who are fuck are you talking to? I'm in the shower. So get out of the shower then. You've been in there 15 minutes. That's the longest shower you've ever taken in your life. You were you kidding.

He's not true. So they've been together for two years and then they're like standing in the mirror and like sort of being cutesy and he's like, I'm not out of shape, right? She's around his shape. So it's nice to see that Taylor is entered that phase of being on South of Charm where she's he's like, I'm not out of shape, right? She goes, round is a shape. So it's nice to see that Taylor is entered that phase of being on South of Charm where she's now just like

disgusted with the relationship she's found herself in. I like that. Yeah, but Charleston really is like science fiction future where there's like, you know, 80% women and 20% men. So it's like, take what you can get inside by future. Yeah, and there's also that just warming inside. It really is. Plus, there's something about Shep. I think what's basically going on there is some cost fallacy, which is really, that is kind of, when you look at Shep, you think

some cost fallacy. Well, I've already invested this much in Shep. I might as well just see this through. of this much in the shop. I'm also just see this through. Yeah. So she's like, well, we are, they're both telling us in separate interviews. She says, well, we're not living together. I bought a condo when I moved to Charleston. And then it cuts to him. And he's like, yeah, about like she's still with me five or six nights a week. I mean, every, every week she gives me a night off. I think she wants to get married and have kids one day, but I don't think she's that you're going to go down that road. I'm going to go to the chair. They're going, I grew up at the Pinterest board for my wedding. Yeah, it's great. Those things that are really on the same page. So a very very large page

like a novelty-sized page. So you don't even have the same poster board from a lot of you. They're on the same scroll that Louis gave Teresa, just a different parts of the coil. So, uh, yeah. So basically, Chef is like, yeah, we have fun together without any structural expectations. And then he smells his boxers. And that's pretty much the end of the scene.

So now that we see go to Catherine and Glam and her kitchen and Caleb comes by and he's like, hey babe, hey Chelsea, which is good because I feel like the show is really good about recycling names. Like I was like, you know, it's been weird. We've had no Chelsea in the mix for two years. So now we've got a new Chelsea who's the makeup artist.

It's like, oh good. I was afraid that name was gonna be like forgotten. Yeah, we always need the Chelsea around here. And I love that Catherine's like, I'm getting the fancy housewives glam under a microwave. She's like, by the way, I got you a little something before you yesterday. Little something something. Open it. It's a silk scarf. So he's like, wow, this is great. So I'm going to be running a bar mitzvah at your party. Is that is a Taurus? Right. It looked like a Taurus. He's like, wow. He did me too. I'm like, kind of recognize that scarf from David Bowman's Bar mitzvah. Ah, David Bowman's Bar mitzvah. That's where you're seeing it.

Mm-hmm. Yep. So then we go over to Olivia's house. Olivia's living with her parents. And she comes into the kitchen wearing her dress for the evening. And her parents are like her dad's like in a golf shirt kind of thing.

And her mom's just played by Julie Hagrity in the corner, just making a cocktail. You know, I'm like, how has my day? And so, you. You. It's like Julie know, I'm like, how hot is my day? And it's like, it's like, Julie Haggerty meets like, I mean, Lou Harris or something. Yeah. I'm like, it's you in sparkles. Is this the 20's though?

Is it? Is this the 20's? The dad, it's Gary and Robin and Gary's like, I don't think this dress is Charleston friendly. I mean, the dance Charleston, but also society Charleston. Here's to the 20s. I mean, the decade, not the age, but the age was good too. That's when I met your mama. Mother, that sparkles in you.

How night I'm not a little concerned. You're showing too much. Showed out. So, Olivia's like, well, my roommate situation right now is my parents. I was living in Los Angeles, but when COVID hit, I didn't want to be locked down there or during the apocalypse. Plus Whitney sent me a DM that was like,

come be on my show. So I came home and that's kind of when I realized that like being in LA was too far away and I wanted to be close to my family and be on TV. Yeah, I'm gonna call this right now. I'm just saying one season for Olivia. I'm just getting one season. She screams one season to me.

She really does. Are you excited for your baby? Hi, Amy. Where's she from, baby? Where's she from? It better be a place that's good enough for my baby. She's like, Starlit. Okay.

Well, what's the deal with him? And she's like, well, my parents have been together for 34 years, so you know, the pressure is on. So then Austin knocks at the door and then Rob is like, Okay, I'll let you out here, Ray. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go against the door. And she's like, no, I'm gonna answer. She's like, no, I think I should get in.

Say, shoot the right, come on in and daddy can give him the drill. And then you come down the stairs and we'll play that song from she's all that and I'm gonna cry and cry and cry Guys dad you sitting the kitchen you just stay away and he's like well He needs to sway the little and plus I want to say you might have trouble with Charleston in that outfit And I mean the dance for the season to sit that dance all right then I'll be in here So so let me answer the door and also go,

hello, this is Santa, I forgot your corsage, we're kind of matching. Hello, hello, wow, wow. And she's like, Austin's leading to my DMs with you so romantic and he does make me kind of nervous, you know, and I haven't had that feeling in a little while. It's every cell in your being, I tell you, I tell you to run, okay?

It's called fight or flight. Yeah, don't mistake a fear instinct with romance, please. Go run. It's called instincts, okay? Jesus. So I also walk to the room and it's like, I love the powder. And Austin goes, well, you have a beautiful home.

It's your beautiful home. That's what this is what we all strive for. This is beautiful, beautiful, which is fuck point one and one, which is just charm the parents. Win over the parents. Just talk about how much you love their parents. Look, and I get you to drink candy. We're gonna be doing with ranch water.

And livies, I guess, just tequila. And then they show the dog looking up at Austin and the dog that says, I'm a little concerned about the school and bones on your shoes. I mean, this is my daughter. We're talking about. He's like, oh, it means it's a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little concerned about the scullin' bones on your shoes. I mean, this is my daughter we're talking about.

He's like, oh, it means I'm a good date, but I'm also generous. Are you still talking because your mouth's moving? I'm just not hearing anything. I don't look at those shoes. Well, what were we thinking when we put those shoes on? What were we thinking? It's eye catching, I'll say that. I don't know about it though.

You know, it's interesting. Now, why does I have those? Is that some sort of like rubber grip on the bottom? Yeah. I'll throw my spit so I don't slide around too much. Okay. Safety first. Austin's all pissed off.

She has Austin's face. He's not loving this. He's like, no, your parents disrespected my shoes. She's like, no, no. Your parents disrespected my shoes. She's like, oh, boy. So then we go over to Catherine, and she is talking to Chelsea still getting her makeup done. And she's like, yeah, well, here she's coming to my party. Here's like this girl named Olivia.

She's like so nice and real. And then I invited Naomi to. And Chelsea's like, Naomi, you invited Naomi and she's like, yeah, on a whim, because I'm gonna be the bigger person. Yeah, she goes, and what she did to me last year, really hurt my feelings. So, Kathon talks about how she and Naomi,

they spoke when Kathon reached out after Naomi's father passed away. And Naomi had also reached out to Kathon when Kathon Naomi's father passed away. And then Naomi had also reached out to Catherine when Catherine's mom had passed away. But then there was this IG, there was an Instagram post where Naomi basically was like, you know, just sort of tore into Catherine because of last season when Catherine just like started a rumor about Jason cheating on Cameron.

And so Naomi just started, like, Torin's her base and being like, that's so irresponsible of obnoxious or whatever, like you should be ashamed. The key word is you should be ashamed of yourself. Right. And she's like, but we didn't have a problem before that. So hopefully she can just apologize and move on.

Oh, really? I think you're the one, I don't know that you owe Naomi an apology, but that was pretty shitty of you. I mean, come on. That was a total shit move, like the first episode of the year, to be like, Catherine Cameron says,

this is totally cheating on her. We all know it, you know, as revenge. Come on now. I'm not buying the victim thing over this. And was that one of the reasons why Cameron didn't shoot? I'm trying to remember. That was the rumor that she was like, fuck this. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I don't remember. That was the rumor that she was like, fuck this. Yeah.

I'm not doing that. So, anyway, so then Craig, Katherine's talking about how Craig hooked up with Naomi a few months ago, and there's a flashback of Craig and Katherine talking on the phone, and Craig saying that they like, yeah, we going out and had some fun in this, and Katherine's like, did you hook up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I felt bad because she was like a little bum that I was trying to see someone else.

And I was like, if it was up to her, we would definitely start to hang out again. And for sure. Craig is the worst too. You are the worst, sir. That's not cool to be saying about her. And Craig's saying, oh, Austin will tell everybody. And here Craig is going around telling everybody telling all

the secrets to everyone. Yeah. So Catherine's like, well, she acted like a page wasn't coming. Naomi would try to take him home. So it sounds like she's still stuck in her feelings. Like, I don't know. She knows that he's exclusive with page. Yeah, I'm sure that Naomi knows.

And I also don't feel like There was no indication I think that Naomi wanted to like run back to Craig But I feel like Craig would definitely say that but now they're gonna put out that narrative. I mean guess we'll see we'll find out But then we go over to Naomi's house and Leva comes over and then you know comes over and they're all wearing like robes And they just are like Gossiping and stuff and talk about Catherine and Naomi saying that she robes and they just are like gossiping and stuff and talk about Catherine and Naomi saying that she hasn't talked to Catherine in like a year and a half. And then three days ago, we see Catherine calling her

and being like, I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to invite you to my 30th birthday party, rebirth Phoenix, etc. and you meet 0.56 out. And I want to celebrate everyone with a new beginning and then we go, um goes um okay thank you. Yeah she's like I mean so like I was looking through my texts and Catherine and I like literally haven't talked for a year so like why but like she said the perfect thing is on the phone so I mean I'll go. I guess yeah like when someone tries to start over you can't say no I'll go. I guess. Yeah.

Like when someone tries to start over, you can't say, no, I'm not going. I want to keep this negative energy going. So like, I'm going to take the olive branch, like, but I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm not going to lie. I'm scared. Yeah. So they're all actually all three of them. I mean, Leva's had a pretty, she said she had a pretty good year with

Catherine and Vanita. Vanita says she's happy to see the olive branch. I don't really think there was a big issue between Catherine and Vanita, but Vanita was sort of like a friend of last year. So, you know, there wasn't a lot of time spent with her and like her relationship with Catherine, but, you know, Levas, Levas then like, I wonder what's going to happen with Craig and Pedro there. I know he's like, it's fine.

It's totally fine. Levas, are you sure? Levas now like fully entering Yanta mode, you know? Yeah, she's entering Vanderpump rules mode because she has her own show, Lever, Leverland. Yeah, Lever, Leverland. Leverland. Lever, Lever, Leverland. Lever, Lever, Lever. Just, I don't know what, just, you know,

you know what I should be called since it's about a restaurant. That's a loving loving It's a loving it's a loving it's a it's a loving loving. Sorry. That's a loving. It's a loving. It's a loving And Cooper could be the piano guy in the center of their restaurant. Yeah, someone could be Angelian. Angelian could just be yourself. starring Angelian. Well, I moved back to Charleston. Love us like guys. Angelian just moved back to town. No way. How about Andrew, to our new server? Angelian.

server and Julian. So yeah, she's stirring, right? And Naomi's like, oh my God, we got together, it's not a big deal. Or is it? Like, I don't even know. And Lava says, well, you care about him, you know, I mean, there's still something there, right? And she's like, well, we had a deep, deep love for each other. That was like the biggest love in my life. But please don't do the mom thing when I say, hi, they're gonna go like, please, please don't do that. She's like, but I just like, no, do not gas. Love is like, what if I stand very close by and dab the corner of my eye with a handkerchief and smile? Don't do that. Can I say something about his shoes? Don't do it. So then party arrivals, so Catherine and Caleb, so up and talk to Jacqueline and Jacqueline

is like, well, we bought a thousand feathers and we just put them all over. So I hope you're happy with the feathers. We got these little signs to say, Drinks on them. Okay, so people in there having drinks and Catherine is like, oh my god, I with the feathers. We got these little signs to say, Drinks on them. Okay, so people know they're having drinks. And captain's like, Oh my God, I love the little science. And I love the music. This is so great cats be. I want to start the new decade with the blank slate. It's a whole new beginning. And I'm going to act totally different than I do

at any formal party we ever have on this show. So then and what people start arriving and then walked John Pringle like, well, I just woke up out of the cranks. Cranks pillow shop and I thought I just wandered over here. I heard there's a tap that was open. I was just across the street and that pub over there waiting for you to get here. And now that you're here, you know, I heard you have a tap over here.

So, you know, mind if I just hit that bar real quick. All right. So page and cracker coming and she's like, oh my god, I'm kind of nervous. Like, I just want everyone to be nice. Oh, yeah, they're going to be nice to you. They're only mean to me. So page tells everyone like, nice to meet you. You like a spamming?

Yeah, she's being very nice. Like, hey, nice to meet you. I'm from Southern charm. I mean, somehow, yes, I'm making a crossover appearance now. Thank you. Like and subscribe. Thanks so much. By the way, was it me?

Was Craig's vest a little too small? I don't know fashion like that, but I got the sense. Like I felt like it was almost like a crop top. A crop? Well, I don't know fashion like that, but I got the sense like it felt like it was almost like a crop top. A crop, well, I don't know. That's how I'm used to vest looking because that's how they look on me because I've just got like a muffin top. So every time I try and put on a vest, it looks like I'm wearing a really tight bra. And that's it. So I don't know what they're really supposed to look like.

I will say that whenever Craig comes on screen, I'm like, God, I really need to run. That's one of the only guys on Bravo that I'm like, wow, look at that skinny little guy in his cute clothes. I'm not being close. He's really hot. He really is, but his vest needs to be longer. So, and I looked at pictures just now on the internet and my suspicion was correct, the vest should be meeting at the belt line, it should not be meeting at the navel. So that,

Well, listen, bachelor is changing everything because like they're still wearing those pants that are like, flutters, what do they call those? Like you expect into fluid, like they're above the ankles. So I think the new fashion for

guys, especially straight guys, is like, let's wish short things. Well, did you hear that cargo pants are coming back? Yes, I did. Are you kidding? I put it on my calendar. Were you the one who told me no, someone posted it on our Facebook, but I just can't not wait for those to come back. I wish I was a date because I just keep looking at the calendar and marking days like another day till the cargo pants comes out. Well, the day that's today, according to the British Vogue, one day ago, Kim Kardashian adds trending cargo pants back to her repertoire is a official.

We're here. Oh, wait, I can't wait to put things in my pockets. And two weeks ago, the New York Post, which is where everyone turns to you for a fashion vice, the tan best cargo shorts were meant to enjoy all summer long in 2022. Wow, as our cargo shorts already out again if the New York Post is endorsing them, can't tell. And now we're going down commercial break so I can immediately get to oldmaybe.com.

Oh, thank you. You're just gonna appear as just like, all pockets all over your body. Like I am in a cargo onesie. I do, I love those things. I've missed them. Okay. So here we are. Taylor is talking to Catherine and she's like, you look like a goddess.

She goes, except I'm peeling because I'm using retina. So like her face is peeling off and then over the course of the episode, Catherine's face kind of molds, but it also like the lipstick is all over it. It looks like she just chugged cool later something. I caught it, but I was like, I was like, I don't really know what the retinol is for. So I'm like, I use it as skin condition

because then I would feel bad making fun of it. But it was definitely, it was definitely not. At first, I was like, what is she talking about? She looks fine. And by the end of the episode, I was like, oh yeah, there's, there's some written all going on here.

Yeah, but like, it's like lipstick every place you know. Well, she also her, you know, earlier in the episode, she had so much, you know, like bronzer on that it was like coloring her hair. I was like, girl, she just just said something she never she doesn't always quite get it right. Yeah. Um, so Steph is talking to Catherine now and he's like, whoa, nine years we've known each other.

You know, I was 33 when we met and you were 21 and um, she was younger than Matt, wasn't she? I think she was 21. She was like just out of USC. And he's like, you know how when you meet someone, you picture them at that age forever. I'm always gonna see Catherine like that.

A little 21 year old who owned a room. Yeah, and then he's like, we have an age at all, emotionally or physically garish. So then live of Anita Naomi are walking around and hugging Catherine and Naomi's like, wow, you look like one big diamond. I hate diamonds. And then why diamonds? Baseball diamond in my right.

Everyone, you look like a Liz Taylor perfume in a Roth checkout line. You look like one big diamond like a card diamond like a card. Okay. The need I come over here to the corner. I got a workshop. And Catherine just kind of looks at her and she's like she should have walked in like hey Catherine thank you so much for inviting me. I mean, don't you think that's what a normal person would do? It's like, oh, oh, oh, Naomi didn't say hi, right? Yeah, it's over.

It's over. Yeah, she wants a Naomi to come in and say, I'd like not only hi, thanks for inviting me, but I'd really love to talk to you. She's like, why would Naomi just like, that's not how you enter a party with someone that your things are really just start like on that foot, right?

If you want someone to come in on that footing, then you do it too. So clearly it's first day of shooting, the first party of shooting, and she's like, I'm telling this bitch off, and she has the balls to come back on my show and not get taught, they're like, after I'm sure birthday,

she's like, okay, I'll pretend I'm nice to her for two seconds. I know. I know. Yeah, no, I mean, it's like, Catherine's your birthday. She's like, okay, I'll pretend I'm nice to her for two seconds. I know. I know. Yeah, no, it's like, it's very clear. I'm getting the fuck you look, which is insulting, because that's my look. So, now Catherine's like,

it's like looking in the mirror. A mirror that Diane Ladd came in and her Diane, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, what's a, I think it is. Diane lad. Is it? Diane Ladz could just came in and put lips to call over. I can wild at heart. Sorry.

Fuck that one. I believe the Supreme Court. Thanks a lot. Amy Cody Bryant. Rune, our Diane Ladz jokes. So um, Catherine add Lad jokes. So, Catherine's drunk now and she's like, I just did the whole Charleston good to see Dan because that's just what we do.

I'm like, baseline polite. You know, that's like what everyone does. So then Paige is still doing her like, hello, welcome, welcome to my like crossover experience thing. Like, I am page, oh my god, you look so pretty. You look so wonderful. Hi, it's such an honor to be here on your show and be a new cast member on a visually. Thank you so much.

I know that you're seeing the golden girls on empty mass right now, but what can I do? Do you have something for me to sign? I'll sign it. Let's be honest, everyone loved Drif as no matter what show he was on. Croft, I'll be right. So, Catherine is talking to Shep and she's like, so do you know what's going on with like Craig and Naomi? And he's like, there shouldn't still be residue

from Craig and Naomi, right? That was a romanticism period. It's been four years. I didn't, I didn't think the choice of the word residue was, I don't know, felt weird. So Catherine's like, well, they hooked up in Vegas. And he's like, are you sure about that? As if she doesn't already know. At least she's messy asses. I love it. I know. Yeah, he told me and apparently after she was calling him to try and make it exclusive and he was like, This is not a thing and she was like, but I still love you. You're amazing. He's like, no, and she was like,

I'm gonna burn my house down. And he was like, no, and then she was like, I'm not wearing shoes anymore in protest. And then she has blisters on her feet and he was like, no. more in protest. And that's just blisters on her feet. And he was like, no. Gosh, I mean, gosh, that's like hearing that Diane lad is Lord Dern's mother. It just blows my mind sometimes. Apparently what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. So then Olivia and Austin, Austin's like, oh, they were talking about my butt. My butt was being discussed right now.

I'm like, wow, mask, mask, but so then, uh, Craig, wait, well, that is Austin. Think his butt's being discussed. He does this whole thing where he sticks out his butt and he goes, I was standing here like this. And then there was talking about it. I'm like, sir, you don't have, you were like the Palisades Parkway, okay?

Like you're just, it's just flat down, just a big, severe drop. You're like the side of Scotland, you know? It's, there's nothing coming out and going around. It's a straight down. Like you're not saying anything on that because I have a pancake, but okay. Oh, yeah, but I mean, no, but it's not about you don't have to you can of course you can say something

about that because it's Austin. I think he's got a butt that's what we're talking about. Oh, Austin, I just I barely write down his lines at this point to be honest. So Craig, chef and the ladies are all saying, hi. Oh my God, it was the last time we saw each other. And Chef's like, Oh, God, when was the last time we saw each other? And Craig's like, Oh, when I met page, I guess, like when I met page, Chef's like, that was Memorial Day. That is on a shop double grand outside crack, outside. bull grandma outside crank outside. So yeah, they had out and everything. And then Catherine Mimal is like, she's like, she's saying how she's not sure if she's good with Naomi. And she's like, it's like the first time I've seen her, it's weird. And love us like,

well, she did feel like your receive over her was very cool. It's like, way to go, Leva, way to bring these two together. We got and cast them like, well, she said some really nasty things about me. So I'm not just going to be like, I love this is. Which is by the way, I'm sorry to interrupt, but that's exact. She's like, when Catherine says she said some shitty things about me. So I'm not now. She's going to just be like, Oh, happy to see you. But yeah, that's exactly what she wanted from the helmet. Yeah. And those's gonna just be like, oh, happy to see you. But yeah, that's exactly what she wanted from the Hale Me. Yeah, and those things she said about you, she was reacting to something you did that was shitty.

So please stop. So Catherine's like, well, I hope she's not gonna be like trying to pull that shit on me because I'm not gonna accept that. For sure. So Austin is checking with Olivia. And there's like no chemistry fair. So no, there's nothing there, right? So he's like, so you good?

Just yeah, I'm just hot. He's like, yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. It's just a terrible. So then in walks Madison, okay. I was born for corn. Okay, I'm here, everyone. And Craig is like Austin Madison's here. And Austin just can't even be cool. He's like, oh shit. Madison look Roy. How did I know you show up? You look like God damn Celine Dion today. Who are you? And Naomi sees it. She's like, oh my God, he's blushing. This is so awkward. I said, I bet a million dollars Madison LaCory shows up. Oh, really? You got a million to bet.

I do not. I'll wrap that. And just like that Madison skills the show I get again. I get. So then Austin's like, Olivia, come on over here. Come on over here. Don't worry. Don't worry. She's like, I'm not. Wait, Austin's like, Olivia, come on over here. Come on over here. Don't worry. Don't worry. She's like, I'm not. Wait, what's that? You said don't worry. So I'm not. Am I sweating? I was like, Austin. Now he's there. And she's like, Austin, breathe it out. Breathe it out. In and out. Come on. So Taylor and Madison are having a drink together and Shep comes up and she's like, should we get you when a

three-sum is not a cryout? She's cool. So Naomi's like Austin, breathe it out. Austin. She's like, I don't care. I don't care if she's here. It's okay. Austin. It's okay. Austin, Austin, you're, uh, you're bleeding. You're bleeding out of your eyes.

I know. She was like, I bet you hope to God, I wouldn't show up tonight. And I was like, I hope to pray and wish. And Olivia's like, that's kind. Hey, do you want to try doing the Charleston? I just want to try to see what this dress really can do. She's like, just why don't you just say something nice? And she tells us, well, it's evident that there's unprocessed feelings there. I mean, we shouldn't be going

on our first date talking about a hung girl. Okay. So then we go to Kayla talking to Vanita. And she's like, well, I'm glad to be here for Catherine's birthday. And he's like, He's here for Catherine's birthday and he's like, mm-hmm. So about that, you know, your name would come up with Catherine and I just had to make her realize, listen, you don't want enemies and she's growing. She really is. She is growing. I thought you would say that she doesn't have enemies. That was like that, like, it's not so much you don't want enemies, but like, not everyone

is against you. You don't have enemies. Everything's okay, you know. Oh, no. He was telling her, invite Venita, like, why want enemies, but like not everyone is against you. You don't have enemies. Everything's okay, you know. Oh, no, he was telling her invite Veneta, like why have enemies, you know, like make an effort. And so she made an effort. Oh, I say you don't have to have enemies. Right.

He's saying like there's no reason not to invite these girls, right? Because he's trying to get her to go be nice to Catherine. Mm-hmm. And she's like, well, that's true. And you know, things take time. And he tells us, I don't want to get backlash for it, but it's Catherine's birthday. And I just want her to feel special. I want these girls to make her feel happy and comfortable. So he's basically like, go be nice to go be nice to Catherine. Got it. She's like, uh-huh. All right. All right. And there's like dancing and fun and love is with Naomi and she's like, wow, Craig's

hair cut looks good and Naomi's like, thanks mom. So then, Chef is like, Craig, come on, let's go out to hard. We need to chew the fat. Come on, Craig. So, Chef and Craig can also go outside and Chef, Chef Tell is awesome. You have to sit next to Craig, persona non grata. Oh, uh, okay, let me, uh, I mean, person, no one likes right now,

that's what that means, guys. I can see my looks in your eyes, you're not following what I'm saying. Well, it wasn't expecting disease, some people here, I mean, I don't know why, me, it means here, cause like Catherine doesn't even like her. And I didn't expect to see Madison here. When was the last time you saw Madison Austin that

wasn't on a magazine cover in a grocery store aisle? I mean. Because he goes, what was the last time you saw her before it's night? And she goes, whoa, I haven't seen Naomi since she got back. No, I'm talking about Madison. I did it. Chef can't even hold it, you know. He's just dying to go about Craig about me. Yeah. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. Peroke period, Rikoko. Let's talk about all of the movements. So he's like, he's like, well Naomi, taxed a man, said everything you ever said was right, signed, correct. Oh, I guess I taxed that to myself, but let's just say Naomi sent it and she said, Craig is, maybe did not say that.

She did not, Naomi has never said that to anybody in her life. Hey, by the way, this is Naomi. You were right about everything. She has never said that. I guarantee she's never said that. So, Shep is like, and then you hooked up and Greg goes, yeah, we did. And also is what? You're a good liar. You're a good liar. Yeah, Austin, it's called seasons one through five when he was a lawyer. Okay. He looked like literally he didn't he told everyone you took the bar and then he was a lawyer and then he was going to he's going to work and then on Season five it came out that none of those things were true. So Craig's like I never lied to you. Craig is supposed to be my best friend, but like this goes to show you like where our friendship is gone to. I kept saying like no,

I would know, but clearly I would not like, uh, Austin's the victim. Was this before or I mean, you're the worst. So I've got lost in my notes because Austin, I'm spitting all over my house. I'm like, oh, I just got spit all over my screen. I know I'm spitting everywhere and like my lungs are burning from going, but like But like, yeah, I love Austin. Austin is the victim now because he's been going to bat for Craig. That's what he's saying. Meanwhile, he was the one who tried to literally destroy Craig's relationship with Page by outing a fling with Natalie.

Like, this guy's such a piece of shit. Yeah, he's like, I am... ...stunned a little bit. WAM! Now, wha! And Craig's like, well, I couldn't tell you'm a little bit nervous. Now, wow. And Craig's like, well, I couldn't tell you, because you tell everyone. And he's like, you know what Craig,

what are these days? You're gonna realize that I'm your biggest advocate. Yeah, you like advocate to everybody. So. He's like, gosh, he just tried to say he's your best friend and you won't admit it because you're mean to him. You're mean to him behind his back. You know it and I know it and Craig goes it's not behind his back It's to his face. Garsh, that's even worse

Shab shut up Plus we haven't seen each other for months. I'm like we had fresh fish And I was like, you know, let up, bro. I know Craig likes fresh fish So I called you and he's like, yeah, but you're like an asshole. So I stopped hanging like, you know what, bro? I know Craig likes fresh fish. So I called you and he's like, yeah, but you're like an asshole. So I stopped hanging out with you. It wasn't healthy for me to hang out with you. And on my part, I don't think you're the most positive person.

I am a positive person. You know that it's bullshit, which is a positive thing to say. He's like, that's not true. What about Jailer? I've changed. I was like, oh my god. Is Jailer sick of this yet yet being the one that he drags around

Is a prop to prove that he's still that he's changed. This guy has not fucking changed. He's my he's still doing the exact same thing He's always done. Come on show and try and ruin his friends lives immediately. Yeah, well she's like he's trying to turn her into the manic She's like, he's trying to turn her into the manic, manic, pixie dream girl or whatever they call it. And it's not working. So Craig is like, you can't even step foot in my store without getting angry. He's like, why would I go to your store? I'm not some alcoholic who wanders the streets,

looking for beer in every which way. Hey, guys don't mean to interrupt the, is there a tap out here, or should I just go back in the party? I was just having a drink across the hallway over there at that bar. The party. Yeah. So chefs like, uh, what are you talking about? I mean, I went once to take pictures. I did that.

Craigs like, uh, Taylor made you do that. That's why you did it. And then chef tells us, what man hangs around retail stores that sell pillows. Joe Gorgher just arrives. Yeah, there he is. I mean, a real man doesn't even sleep with a pillow. What he does is you jack late so much and lets the heart and puts his head on that. Hey. Nobody made me go, Craig. He's like, well, this is like this talk I had the other day. And I was like, you know what? Like this is sad.

And I'm not like doing this. I'm going inside you guys. I'm going. All right, we can have this talk another day. And chef goes, I'm going inside. It's like, oh, and I'm going inside off. So now, so now Catherine goes outside. Now it's like the like the terraces open, Catherine.

Would you like to shoot your scene now? Oh, okay. So she's saying that she's feeling like it's like, like things are feeling like it's being weird and she greeted Naomi of the Vanita and there's been like no contact ever since. And Caleb's like, no, well, I talked to Vanita and you know, she wants to talk to you, Catherine.

And she's like, you are so not loyal. He's like, you're tripping. And she's like, when you've been by my side for a year, knowing she doesn't want to talk to me. And he's like, I just don't want any friction between you guys. You have a, that's my situation and not yours, which is why you can't be friends with anybody.

I tell you not to be friends with. And since when are you the peacemaker? He's like, I've always been the peacemaker. It's just, I'm ready to go home. I'm going home to my home. I'm going home to my home with that call home, which is not where you're going to go to another home. Have fun not having a

cappuccino machine tomorrow and not at Starbucks. See, this is New Catherine, Old Catherine chased after people to a room. Thomas, New Catherine gets chased after her. He's like, okay, come on, don't be like that. She's like, I'm not being like anything. So then she like stomps back into the party. I'm surprised she didn't take her scarf. I really thought, because he just said, he's just left there sitting there staring at a scarf. Like, I wore this scarf for her, you know?

So they captured Marjazane and she's like, Where's my purse? I'm ready to go. Do we have the same bag or what? And I was like, oh my God, yeah. So I was just telling, so wait, who's there? It's Catherine. It's love and Naomi, right?

Okay, yeah. Because Catherine walks back in and Naomi sees her and goes, oh, Catherine's doing the stomp. So, love is like, oh, we do have the same bag. Oh, and come on over here. You know, I caught an awkward hello between you guys. And now I feel awkward. Yeah, it sounds like, well, my greeting wasn't meant to be awkward.

Maybe it was just me as an awkward person, but I definitely hurt by you from last year when you said I should be ashamed of myself. I know he's like, but what you did, Catherine, you tried to ruin a good person's family. So she's, I'm done with your fucking ass. I'm done. It's like, here's Catherine. I'm done with your fucking ass. I'm done. Like it's Catherine. She's back. She's back.

Naomi's like Catherine, please. And Catherine goes, you're not better than anyone. You're not better than me. She's like, I never said that. You have said that. Olivia goes, um, this should be like a woo saw moment. And Catherine's like, it's not a woo saw moment because she's so fake. How does she fake? She's telling you exactly what's up.

Like, there's nothing fake about it. Your problem is that she's not being fake. So Naomi is like, what are you talking about? Like literally stop. Like, I don't fight the way you fight. She's like, how do I fight? Dirty. How do I fight dirty?

Like yelling. And like, like you have to be the loudest thing in the room. This is ridiculous, Catherine. And she's like, you don't have to be condescending just because I have passion, you're feeling. You may have passionate feelings. You may have me feel fucking way during a really hard time in my life,

but you were not considered of you fucking petty little bitch. I can say what I feel. I don't give a fuck. So, uh, and this is a problem because this is the problem with probable apologies because you didn't, you're not even sorry. You did that to yourself to you. She's referring to all the social media stuff where she put the monkey emoji, you know, while she was like sending nasty text back and forth with a radio host like that is not some hard time you were going through. Okay. That was you doing that to yourself. Yeah. And so then, um, so like Catherine's like, oh, wow. So she's, she's, well, I don't

even understand the word that I wrote down there. She started like a bitch. Yeah. So that's if that's, if that's how I've been feeling and she's not going to take a accountability for it and Naomi just goes And gets up and walks away because Catherine will stop like putting her finger in her face in the oven Get her so she's like, yeah, oh, she just walks away. She goes, oh, yeah, walk away with your fucking feathers And Leva goes, how did we get here? Well, I'm gonna say it's when you walked up to Catherine and said that Naomi thought that Catherine was being cold to her. I think it's probably there. That's how we started there. We got there.

Totally. Leva's like, what happened? What? So Catherine's like, I'm ready to go. This is the last time I'm gonna say it. And Kelab's like, Catherine, just stop talking to me, Caleb. Okay, where's my purse? I'm ready to go. I'm so ready to go. Did you not hear me? Why would I be leaving with you?

Okay, what are you gonna say at my party? I don't care what anyone's saying to me. I am leaving So Craig catches her in the elevator is like gathering come here Gathering we got a dog about this and then Paige is telling Madison I thought your whole stick was it you're like the lightness out in New York. We're like fuck you But you guys just like linger Madison's like yeah, we linger we fucking linger That's my Austin still right right here by my shoulder Austin. Oh, she's in the frame right now. Madison look Roy So that was the premiere. It's good premiere

It was better than last season I like last season, but this premiere was really good. I guess really, really good. I think it's going to be a good season. I've got like some legitimate stuff to work with here. Yeah. Well, good time. Soven Sean is back and it's off to a running start. So that was that everybody. We will be back later today with some real housewives ultimate goose trip. Season two episodeoo. Aaron McNickalus. She don't miss No Trick-o-Lus. Hava Nagila Weber. Jamie.

She has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess Sayin' Okay. Kristen The Piston Anderson. Wee McLevin. Karen McLellin. She's always Supplyin'. It's Kelly Ryan.

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger. She's our Queen, Marie Lavigne. Let's give a kiss, Arino, to Lisa Lino. There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Beaches, Beaches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD.

Always the wiser, it's Allison Weisler. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Erica, 500 days of summers. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo.

No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Paging Paige Mills, Paging Page Mills. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She leaves us in stitches. It's Catherine Taylor. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

We want to hang with Liz Lang. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy! Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.