Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Exes and Oh Nos

Episode Date: October 8, 2022

It's time for the first part of Southern Charm's reunion, where Taylor lets Shep have it. And then she keeps going. And going. And going. Also, Kathryn defends her meatballs and Austen and Oliva try to work out their non relationship. Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about! On ye old profs. Thanks for being here, everybody. Guess who I'm with today? It's crazy. It's nuts. Sansa, then he's tall, he's got hair. It's BAM! Been Madelker, hi BAM! Hi Ronnie, how are you? Just so thankful you're my work partner and I'm not partners with anybody on Southern term because Jesus, right. Southern stars reunion is just like, oh, the women we've wronged. I know.

Three of you. And yeah, it's based. Yeah, exactly. It's only three guys. But to be fair, the season did start out with five guys and two of them just disappeared into thin air basically. When Caleb guy into the bottom of a bottle somewhere. No wrinkle just disappeared Caleb is off in Miami. So now it's just down to three guys on the show. Yeah, it's amazing. It's gonna watch them on a beach somewhere in a bottle and be like, I know you were hoping for a romantic note in here, but I just lost myself at the bottom of this thing and fell into the water. So here I am. Is there a bar? Is that a bar across the street? He's gonna wander into the Salt Lake City region.

Well, did I, my lady, this doesn't look like the cast. Well, okay, well, sorry, I just saw a bar over there. Maybe passed out for a few months. Yeah, Southern Charms. So just our usual little announcements Monday night is our live show over on Spotify. Love the app. It's called take a seat. It's our live show where we talk to you guys. It's super fun. 7 p.m. Pacific every Monday night over there. Also, our bonus episodes's always very fun. We didn't decide, I have some ideas for this week. I didn't tell them yet, so I'll tell them later,

because it's not fair to make them choose right now. And by all the year. You can make them choose. Well, Mauricio's new show on Bravo got a trailer. So I was thinking maybe we could watch it. Oh, because. Oh, I thought it was on Netflix, it's on Bravo. No, you know what I mean?

Yeah, Netflix. Yeah, right. You're right. Yeah, Netflix. Yeah, Mauricio's new show on Netflix. It's like a really homely version of Selling Sonset. It's like Selling Sonset, but with, I mean, they didn't line up in a chorus line and get chosen

based on their, you know, headshots. That's right. So that looked pretty funny. And then Kyle's kids whining, and they all talk exactly like Kyle Richards, you know, they're like, it really hurt my feelings. So maybe that, but anyway, that's where our bonus episodes are on Patreon. And also our crap and on demand videos. This week we did Beverly Hills and Salt Lake City videos. So if you'd rather watch these, that's where to do it.

Okay, awesome. Our House of the Dragon Game of Thrones episodes. We do a show called Winters Crapin'ing. So look for that and subscribe to that and those come out Monday night subscribers. And then Tuesday afternoon for, you know, whoever happens listeners. And I have a shameless plug. I did mention earlier in the week that I started up a sub-sack just about cooking just for the just a fun side, not even a project just because I just like to write shit. So I do just want to say this time that I just posted a Bolognaise recipe that I really think is very good. So it's Friday, if you put thing about what to cook this weekend. It's a shameless plug for my, for my sub-stact to go read the,

to go check out the Bolognaise recipe because it honestly, it's excellent. I'm just going to say that right now. It's just really, really good. So that's going to have some mantle curve bowling aids. Yeah, it's called it's nbdfancy.substack.com. That's all. I just wanted to. NBDFancy at Substack.com. No. Dot Substack.com. NBDFancy.substack.com.

Dotcom. You heard it here. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I mean. That's cool, man. I'm going to go read it. Yeah, check it out. I don't eat Bolo. Well, I did put a picture Bolo in the recipe, by the way, I did. So if nothing else go there for the dick for a bonus picture of I didn't go I didn't put anything too raunchy because you know, I didn't want people to be like shocked.

So I just put a standard photo of Bolo from the Atlanta episode in there. because I didn't want people to be shocked. I just put a standard photo of Bolo from the Atlanta episode in there. Just a little shout out to the crap ins readers, listeners. Love it, Ben. Thanks, Ronnie. Go check it out myself, Ben. I'm going for you. You could adapt it and make it vegetarian too, by the way, Ronnie.

I know you'd be really good at that. Yeah, just use mushrooms, guys. There's my tip. Just put them in a food processor. You know, they look like ground beef. Then just put them in there. Delicious. Okay, guys, let's get to Southern charm because this reunion awkward. Okay, Taylor.

Great. So glad you found your voice. Use it less. Shut up. Okay, I'm trying to get through the first segment of this. You're using your voice too late, okay? Be quiet. You should be sure.

She has now wait until the segment three, ma'am. She's in her voice teens, you know? Like when you come out of the closet, like the first five or six years, they say you're in your gay teens because you're learning to do all these things that you never got to do before, like date or have, like be able to really have crushes or fall in love, all the things that you feel so deeply when you're like a teenager for everyone else, like the gay is finally gets to feel it when they come out of the closet and tailors having, she's in her voice teens where she is like finally using her voice and like, she's seeing what it's like and it's kind of out of control and she's sort of really like unbridled emotion that she's kept suppressed all this time.

So she just sort of doesn't know how to tame her wild beasts right now. And listen, I get it, you know, it's like the first time you say, fuck you mom. You know, it's just so liberating you, you just can't stop and you spend the whole first segment saying it or, you know, me 13 to 15. As far as the voice teens, I feel like I'm in my voice teens right now because I've just I'm today, well, I'm like this week old when I started seeing the voice commercials with Camila Cabello. Camila Cabello. Camila Cabello.

Camila Cabello. Oh, my name is Cabila Cabello. I'm like, I can't stop saying it. I walk around the whole day going Camila Cabello. Camila Cabello. You're it. So you're in the voice teams right now. Yeah, that's exciting. I thought you would already have been in the voice team since you literally, like literally your cousin was a finalist on the voice. Yeah, but was he a finalist when there was, who was his coach? It was a Kelly Clarkson. His coach was Adam. Was it? Yes, it was Adam. He was Mike, and Reed, I'm stat, who is part of the band. read Brothers. Go listen to them on Spotify. Okay, go subscribe on Spotify or whatever you do over there because he's really talented.

Am I cousin? Yeah. And the sings with him. She's amazing. So anyway, read Brothers. Don't forget it. Don'tsubstac.com. You may have seen him at the shows. Yes, he was like the first one to get the text from Adam

that was like, your body is like so Yeah, Adam would be an actually tattooed reads face onto his onto his hip. Yeah Yeah, so anybody wondering where that read brothers came from on Adam's pee pee that's where it came from read on sted it to So anyway, yeah Taylor, you know congratulations. I'm so glad you finally stood up to shop But a you're still like I love him so shut up. Okay. I'm not gonna buy all of this and be safe It's all the third segment. I mean, the thing about Southern Charm is it really does just bring that local flavor.

And I talk about this all the time about this. Wow. People like don't even realize they're on a TV show. Don't just pick, yeah, I'm not gonna go to work this weekend. You know, and I feel like Taylor's doing that where she's like, I'm gonna invite him to a private place to have this discussion so he can't yell at me. It's like a small private place.

It's a reunion set, man. Okay. Like I feel Taylor's pain. I understand her frustration, but I can't help but think that we probably all thought every time she would lay into Shepp, I kind of was like, what you knew this about him Taylor? Like I hate to kind of put the responsibility on her

because he's like a piece of shit. But like so many times, which is like, you just can't, you just sleep with women. You just, you know, there were just 300 hordes. I was just the horror that lasted the longest. It's like, well, but this was well documented before you started dating him Taylor. I know, but that's why he goes for young people because we all have that relate.

Like I'm all bit better and cynical now, but I've had that, you know, where I know better. And everything in me is telling you I know better, but I'm like, no, but I love him. And I see a different side of him and I'm going to change him. Like I get it. I've been there, you know, I see it. And I see it myself. Maybe that's why it bugs me so much. But, you know, I always wanted a Vespa. I saved up for so long to get a Vespa. It's all I wanted, okay?

And I finally got enough money to get a Meprillia. And so I got a Meprillia. And I hated that thing. I was so mad at this Aeprillia for not being a Vespa. I never, ever rode that thing where I didn't think at least once. God, you would be better if you were a Vespa, I never, ever rode that thing where I didn't think at least once, God, you'd be better if you were a Vespa. But guess what?

I'm the one who answered the Craigslist ad and would think of that fucking april, yeah. And that's what I had to write. Yeah, I mean, I think we've all been there where we deep down know we are responsible for making, for our own bad judgment sometimes. But you know, you know, but at the same time, like, but I, that's why I felt, I felt so bad for her because I understood her resentment. Like, shep did do the full charm attack to her and,

like, I'm changing for you. No one else could get me to want to change. But you did, You're so special. Yeah, he did the fool. It's hard. Yeah. Those guys, they can really, they can really,

they can scam you, you know? And so I do feel bad for her about that, but at the same time, it's like Taylor, you had warning signs. You had warning signs before and during. Yeah. Girl. So Taylor opens it actually, because we see the backstage stuff, you know, everyone

like, wow, it's Lolly, yeah, coming backstage and Taylor is like, well, I guess there's no turning back now. I said, don't say that. Don't open that thing. You can't turn back. Taylor, turn back. I feel like she says that when she Don't open that thing. You can't turn back. Taylor, I feel like she says that when she puts things in her basket of marshals, it's like actually, Taylor, you can take that pumpkin tray out of your basket and put it back on

the shelf. It's okay. You can do it tight, tight. And then Craig is teaching Austin how to put a hankerchief in his front pocket. He's like, you want the red part showing? That looks really sharp. Oh, just my dick's hanging out, just ripped my pants. Yeah, and then there's like, primping, there's wigs, finita announces that she's gonna be wearing Barbie Corp for the reunion, poor finita.

I don't think she realizes what's coming her way. And then Taylor's like, Chip tried to pull me aside and said, can I talk to you for a second? And I was like, actually, you can't. It's like, wow. Nailed him. Got him, Taylor.

The old, you can't talk to me now, actually. And Catherine's like, yeah, Sheep has turned out to be just like Thomas. It's just like watching it all unfold before my eyes, you know, I just every time I see chef, I just think of a bridge and Tommy. And so then they all like squeeze into basically three bridge chairs for 10 people, they'll just like on top of each other around Andy and I'll say, wow, three guys, seven girls. We are so outnumbered. It's just like being back in Charleston. It's insane

right now. Yes. And then we see the previews of what's coming in this reunion. And it's just all the all the girls screaming get the guys the whole time. Which yeah, listen, I'm all four, but normally, but where were you guys even during the season? Like Madison shows up and does the whole reunion herself, okay? It's like her one woman show, you know? And she was in like, you know, two minutes of airtime entire season and she comes out here and she's like hosting it. Her clip from Amazon Live gets more traction

than any scene that anyone else did this year. Seriously, and shockingly enough, no page. It looks like for this reunion, I thought for sure they'd bring up page and have like a page versus Naomi moment, but maybe Paige had like the good sense to stay away from it, or they just wanna like silo her into Winterhouse

and Summerhouse, who knows? But Andy's like, hey everybody Craig, how are you doing? Just so you know, you don't actually have the authority to kick anyone out of here tonight. Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! That last cracks me up. Uh, yeah, we're joined by the Charleston crew and Madison's new teeth to break down another season. Hey Olivia, your name is Flowers, that's funny. And she's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm glad to be here.

And Katherine, my, my, gave me the best advice. So just told me, like, be yourself, like, just like, be yourself. So, like, I'm gonna be myself. And Katherine's like, yeah, like just like be your like be yourself. So like I'm gonna be myself and Catherine's like, yeah, cuz you're worthy. Yeah. And he was like, hey Naomi has a feel to be back on the couch. You're in first position, but I'm only gonna ask you one question this hour. How's it feel?

I'm doing it really do much on the season. You're not gonna do much in this reunion, but I do love hearing this sound So I'm having you sit right next I just like white noise so if you could just go the entire episode uninterrupted that would be wonderful Let's just ask Craig to do math in. Greg, do some math in your head. Wow, you sure call that one, Naomi. All right, Craig, stop now. You're worrying, you're worrying the produces.

He's just writing numbers on a pillow like a beautiful mind. Just blood's trickling down his nose. He stares into space. What's wrong with my division? So Andy's like, he's like, Catherine, I love the one never knows what color hair you're going to show up with the reunion. And she's like, I'm back to my natural hair color and I'm probably going to stay here.

Okay cool. Cool. My first question is to basically anybody who can hear it. How is the show not canceled? Okay, let's get over to shop. Shop, I was little Greg. And she's like, well Ashley's love life isn't gray right now. He's split up with peaches.

And Taylor's like, so madty, chef. Like it just keeps cutting everything, Chef says Taylor, you know, size and gives a dirty look. Well, I guess peaches just one, in a line of 65 different horrors that little Craig would have sex with. I guess that's what it is. And every time I see her giving those looks, I'm like, come on, I know what you want to say.

He didn't even keep little Craig. He shipped it over to his parents. The second you weren't there to take care of that dog, okay? Just say that Taylor. I don't like having to read your looks, okay? I'm dating you. So Andy is like, Madison, people say revelations from last season's reunion may have led to jail all getting married.

And we see the flashback of Craig yelling at Madison like, you at an MLB player, you don't like texting you and then you texting them back and then like you went and saw him and then like he gave you a World Series ring or something. And just like that hair crazy, crazy, all, I mean, because Greg looks like slamming in this reunion. Like his hair is perfect, he just looks great. And then when you just see like a year ago, the hair was like 1976, I don't know, golf. Claimation. Was that like Christmas Claimation?

It was so crazy, but then you see all of them, it looked crazy. And he's here, it was crazy. It was that, like sort of just starting to crawl out of the pandemic look a little bit. Like, everyone, it just was like, wow, we really took so many different hits from that pandemic. Like it wasn't, it was not just our mental health. It was, it was our friend got hit, you know,

everyone looked crazy. Some Madison's like, no, come in unless you've got Amazon Prime, any Amazon Prime member can log in and get that also at least 20% of this count on Irish spring. So I'm born for corn Andy, born for corn. Hey Austin, your hair looks great today, using any products, using maybe some head and curl soons. Was that a forced joke about Tucker Carlson and head and shoulders? Sure was. Didn't set it up properly, uh, Austin's like, well, you have to ask my hair and makeup girl because she has a formula. You laugh, uh, you look beautiful. So this season you all found out the hard part of this crew is running into your

axis. Nearly everyone in this group is shared. I love her Madison and Olivia got through it. They all me and Taylor and he others Madison goes, I think Thomas and Olivia, right? Right? She's like, what? Yeah. That's what I heard. She is me and me having sex with Thomas with Thomas of Thomas's English muffins, no, Thomas Ravino. Oh yeah, well that happened. Yes, you're not supposed to, sorry, you're supposed to,

sorry. She's like, no, he was like a family friend. Like where did that even come from? Like did you pull that out of your fake ass? Never mind. You're just trying to stay relevant. We all know. Madison's like, now the ass is actually real.

It was born for corn too. Okay. And you don't know how I do anything. And so Andy goes, well, Twitter user Maria Holymoly, that was a real Twitter user, ran a poll to find out which southern charm male would make the worst husband. And who do you think, who do you think they voted for?

It would be the worst husband. And which by the way, I love that Maria Holymoly has some sort Who do you think they voted for would be the worst husband and Which by the way, I love that Maria Holy moly has some sort of a Very official poll on Twitter that they that they went to About this she's the barber Walters with Twitter Maria Holy moly Madness like sorry shit. I'm sure it's you's like I'm here for it. Oh, she's poor pile on all the hate everybody. Well, 53% of people agreed with Shep coming in close. Uh, second is Austin. Austin's like, we met.

There's only three of us. Come on. It's insane. It's insane right now. So Andy's like, Craig, this season you revealed that you're quite this sector. I'm like, why are we, do we just get into the stuff that actually happened on this show that we care about? If this is, like, what happened? Like what?

I don't know. Like, I just, I just want to get, I don't know what happened, but I know it's more than this. It's like, I always liked that. It's the best way to feel your partner out without doing it face-to-face and getting them chai. Sometimes I can be a little shy, which rhymes with chai. And sometimes I'm not a shy over texting. I'm just a sweet little boy who's innocent. Leva, get out of here. You're stupid. You're stupid person. get out of here. You know, you don't want to be embarrassed and find out that your partner really doesn't find it attractive when you're jerking off to pleading tutorials on YouTube. So, sexting's a good thing, Abby. Hey Naomi, did you ever get any of those sex?

She's like, Okay, glad I asked, okay. So is it easier to date somebody who doesn't live in Charleston? He's like, yeah, it works like this is my longest relationship because there's just like so much temptation. Like there's so many gorgeous people in the world. It's like a small from Naomi on the side and then Taylor's like, oh, yeah, well, you'll just fly somewhere to find it. Texas anywhere. I guess you can just go get it anywhere. Can't you It's like the the hoes spring Craig somehow got knocked over toward a chef to crack never mind I abandon this metaphor. Andy's like something about Tucker Carlson. Something about Tucker Carlson with a fire hose, you know, but Andy is like, well, okay,

I think I see what Taylor's getting at because I don't think Craig was in Texas. So, chef, were you Tomcatting around Texas? Uh, and Shep was like, Oh, well, first of all, Andy, thank you for using Tomcat. That's very southern-esque about you. Uh, we had a lot of fun, you know. I was in a new city and I was having a good-garsh time. And by the way, single man, don't see any capital offense.

It wasn't like I'd gone out to the mecon Delta and moat down a bunch of locals If as you've seen and can burn seminal documentary the Vietnam War Yeah, I was with Austin in Austin's like don't don't get me into that God, okay, sorry it was just me until it's like well, it's fine Shep your sink but we spent two years together and you supposedly slip with 300 women and when we broke up you told me you're not capable of being in a committed relationship you don't want to be in one and you need to figure that out so now you're just saying that you're saying to me ABC but then all your

actions are XYZ-SHIP and he's like wow, there's so much as the alphabet yet. I'll explore my subjunctive. You've explored plenty of those ship. Larsa Pippins at home, just like clapping to the XYZ. Great use of XYZ. Great use. Finally, I've started something. And she's like, you're out there doing God knows what?

Do you even know her name? So now you've wrapped me in to the slew of horrors that you've... Okay, so now you're gonna horse shame these girls and you're gonna have sex with. Matt, you're not doing a good job, damn. Just someone quiet down Taylor. I know, I mean, this was really her big monologue. And she's like, now you can wrap me up into this slew of horrors that you fucked and Andy's eyebrows raise up like oh

And now I'm just a number and that is what fucked me up in the air Did you say that that's what fucked me up in the head? Oh in the head why not right there? I like her just realizing this on a Southwest. On a plane. Yeah. And by the way, God, I'm in, I'm in level C. God, I feel like I'm, I'm a C in my relationship. A chef is out getting C in Texas.

I'm sick of words. I'm sick. Whoa, whoa, man. Do you want some pretzels? Just remember. Uh, I mean, while it should go, it should be noted that while she's having this entire monologue, we just see Shep's knee like, Yeah.

It is like shaking so hard. And Shep goes, Sorry, you feel that way. Just two and a half years, Shep. That's a long number. I was just the whore that lasted the longest. Yeah, hold your load, Taylor. Segment one. Okay, we're still talking about, you know, Craig sexting. Hold on to that first. I know. The way that just like vomited out of her, I mean, she's was holding on to that monologue for a very, very long time. Like she's been thinking about it,

she's going over it in her head and she just couldn't even wait to her segment. It was like, Catherine, love your hair. Well, it's the hair of all those hores and text that Shep's left with, because he was telling them ABC and meaning XYZ. And I was saying LMNOP and he was only hearing GRS. So that's when I say Andy. She really does.

He's like, we'll be back. She's like, oh yeah, on your back like those hores, we're on there back for shim. It's like, okay, Taylor, Jesus. So, little does she know, Shep loves this because Shep gets to play the victim. And that's what's gonna get him some more pussay say when he goes after him.

And become a goddess all that reunion. She was so 19 here. He was a vagina for you. He was one little monkey. Let me hug you with another vagina. Like, that's what a fuck boy wants, right? It's the victim. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world,

listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app So anyway, Andy asks if Taylor was chef's longest relationship and he's like Yeah, she was and Taylor's like okay Well, he was searching for the whole relationship other women looking for it here Yeah, while he was searching for the whole relationship, other women looking for it here, texting there. And so now he's single at the age of 43 and he's using women to masturbate and then he tosses him aside.

I was like, what? He uses women to masturb. What does that mean? Meaning that they basically are just an accessory to his sexual gratification. And just that is messed up to do the women. You're hurting women and you're hurting yourself and what number are you gaining? What do you want to get to a million women? A million women! It's like okay, okay, okay, but you're not long.

I'm like Donald's, why stop it a million? At this point, this is when Craig starts looking up at the ceiling like, oh my god, this is scary. I'm an innocent boy. I got a look at the pigeon and the rafters up there. And then she keeps going. She's like, what do you want to get to? I'm yelling. You don't even know anything about me two and a half years ship. My favorite movie. What's my favorite? Hey, what's my favorite animal? What's my favorite? I'm kidding. No, my favorite color Okay, uh favorite color animal movie Lama ochre michael clean How wrong have wrong and he's like oh gosh

So I didn't try all not into in a half years. I didn't even try to let you answer that question yourself. Okay, okay. Let me try again. All right. I'm going to say, Emu, Heather, Heather,

Greene, and a very long engagement. No, don't say that. and that feels like it's a commentary about our relationship. I'm sure her favorite movie is that movie with Peter Gallagher where he's asleep. Oh, while you were sleeping, because she's just dreaming that she's gonna fall in love with some guy.

He's gonna be asleep and he's gonna wake up and still be like, I love you. No, it's not how it works, okay? You don't just find a person sleeping through life and expect it to be different when they wake up, okay? Even if they do have Peter Gallagher eyebrows, which Shep doesn't even have. Yeah, but we all know that Taylor's favorite movie

is probably the notebook, right? Like that just has to be what she loves. I just wanna be held in a rainstorm. Just held me up. You know, one of those, yeah. So. So chefs like, yeah, I didn't even try that. And so Andy's like, okay, raise her hand. If you think chef really tried, and they all kind of raise her hand. And Craig's like, I mean, Taylor, do you really believe me? Didn't try? Like, did you really think like chef could be better? She's like, I know

he can be better, because I've seen the pure side of chef. You just choose the other chef ship. I saw the side of chef who shared a tear as the people escaped out the US Embassy from Vietnam to get into that helicopter as the crowd searched in the way that documentary ended. I swear even I cried Andy. Hmm. So Andy's like, Gushep, what is her favorite color? Do you know her favorite color?

And she's like, Oh green, I would guess. No, it's not green. Okay. Her favorite animal is her new dog, Penelope. Oh God, favorite colors. Who knows that? Which of my favorite color?

She was, well, you told me it was purple. He goes, why? Because I'm wearing purple. No, because we saw purple house ones. And you said, wow, I like that purple house. Wow, Taylor. I can't believe you're not fucking married with the minivanful of children. What kind of shallow bullshit is this? You knew him way deeper than that and you chose to still be with chef. Like what do you want from me? Okay. Fine. I like purple but you still haven't said what my favorite animal is. A beer can. Fine. I guess you didn't know me. Wait a minute. Did someone just talk about my favorite animal. I think I'm doing here. Well, I was just walking a beer can down the street and I saw I went to a beer

can park and thought I'd, you know, co mingle. Got all muddy. Yeah, damn beer cans in the marsh. Yeah, I don't be about it. And he's like, so do you know his favorite book? And she has probably his own. And he's like, my favorite book is like, what are for chocolate? But I think it's funny after all that Taylor knew nothing about Shepi there. So that was pretty funny. Just purple the color purple. Yeah, which may have also been like the purple house or not It's not a color purple fat

It's gonna rain on your head you sure is ugly on your head, he was sure as ugly. Ha ha ha. You know, I actually am going to, I am gonna watch that this weekend. Or not, because I just want you to get an article. Yes, because I've been meaning to watch it. I did read the book years ago. I always have to say that.

So that way I'm not totally, don't seem totally, totally out of touch. But there was an article in the New York Times about, gosh, the 50 best movies that are on Netflix right now. And the first one was the Color Purple, and I said, this is a sign. So I'm going to see the Color Purple, and I may try to see bros, so I can weigh in on that hook.

You know what? I'll save that for the bonus episode. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. That's your Color Purple interlude. One of my favorites, great. Oh, I thought you're seeing Jurassic Park. Part of this. He's still a bird. Sounds like that. You're like, Yeah, that was. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na to tell the difference to sing the Indiana Jones theme song and then pivot to Superman. It's very hard because they're very similar. I think they're both John Williams. Well, was it similar to all the Horsley Facts in Texas? The okay Taylor God. We're not even talking about the show right now. Superman more like Superman slut. That's the chat. The color purple, probably the color of your penis after all those

horns you had sex with. Raiders of the lost vagina. That's chat. Indiana Jones, the temple of Boom Tang. Shad. Oh, good. So okay, let's give Taylor a break from whatever she's doing over there. So this season Catherine celebrated a big year in her life and at a big blowout to match with a really bad chemical peel, blotting out all over her face.

Let's just show some pictures. We're just going to show these clips of Catherine close up with red splotches all over her face and her 20s hair like mounted down to her head Like she just went bobbing for apples and then fat of cool it dead Like just like fruit punch like it dribble down her like every you know like every little kid who just had fruit punch like that's what she looked like you know So something for there's something like kids drinking fruit punch They just get it all over their jeans every single time They cannot commit to getting in their mouth and you always see them with their red blotchy

chins from the cool aid. So then Andy's like, he's like, yeah, I feel like I've no near and tired, don't lie. She's like, I was 21 when this show started and now I'm 31 and Reality TV has made my last 10 years incredibly difficult for my kids are amazing and they're seven and they're eight and he's like Well, can you talk about the custody and she's like Kinsy up and eliminates and it made $42 and that went directly to Thomas Ravennell So yeah, that's what I can say. And St. Redd, and St. Redd. You read a book?

No, he read me actually. He called me a splotchy Facebook or monster. So, that was, but he's learning and can see this is great in language, Andy. And he's like, wow. So, uh, he said, I wrote, I owned ink out ends. So I don't know what I meant that Andy is saying right now, but whatever it says, I'll tell you what you meant.

I'll tell you what you meant. You meant that ship is a slut sleeping with guys girls in Texas. Okay, Taylor. Ronnie just couldn't read his notes. You have nothing to do with you. So Andy is like, let's talk about Caleb. You guys shared ups and downs starting at your birthday. And we see the clip of him going up to Vinita

and being like, yeah, you should talk to Catherine and just, you know, keep it positive. And when he told Catherine, she was like, you are so not loyal. So Andy asked Vinita if she knew, before seeing the show that Catherine was upset that Caleb had talked to her at that party. Right. And Catherine's basically her response is like, oh, well, I was wanting to make things good with Venita, but I hadn't heard from Vanita. And then it was weird that then all of a sudden, Vanita wanted everything to be good and she told Caleb. It was real like a little incoherent of her response.

Basically, she's like, well, last night, he knows all the problems. And then he's coming over acting like he wants to work it out. And it was just so fake. It was just fake. And so I got mad. And he's like, what Caleb wasn't the only one he built the lab again.

By the way, I just want to say I, I really hope that and the circles back to Caleb later because that whole thing at the other party when Caleb was like complaining about Catherine to Naomi and then went over to Catherine and made, um, made Naomi sound like she was the one who was doing all the complaining was so fucked up. And I really hope that that gets brought up on the reunion. Also, the thing that you didn't, uh, couldn't read in your notes was that Andy was asking if anyone had run into Thomas lately in town and Shep was like, oh yeah, I saw him at the bar, same old self. You know, you can't help but smile sometimes when you see him. He's such a larger than life guy.

It's like, well, that's a nice gloss you put on Thomas Ravino. I got a horrific person. Yeah. I mean, Andy, that's the man he says. Well, I make Katherine would stop herself from grinning. And she's like, yeah, I got so. So, um, so now he asks, then he said, this one he says, well, uh, well, Katherine, well,

Catherine might have extended an all of branch, but then she whacked Naomi with it. What were your expectations of her that night? And Catherine's like, well, my expectations were, um, that I wouldn't walk into the room and hear someone say, you should go talk to Catherine and then see her say, oh, fine. Let's get it over with

And the end was like Catherine you were like stomping around like literally like tell me exactly when I was supposed Oh, no Catherine's like literally tell me exactly when I was stomping around literally and they always like Yeah, well, I know you Catherine and I know the face you make when you're mad She's like I came straight out of the bathroom to talk to you That is straight up lie and I know the face you make when you're mad. She's like, I came straight out of the bathroom to talk to you. That is a straight up lie. You tell me exactly when I was stomping. You liar.

Because I came up to you after the bathroom. You liar literally. I walked right up to you from the bathroom and I walked and I put my feet down hard so that we had to get to you quickly. My feet were going down one after the other. Hard hard hard and went right to you. It's like that's something towards someone got through and Naomi gives her the response she gives when Whitney is trying to read off a French menu. She's like so Catherine's like why we acted the way I did because you you've tried to ruin a

good person's family. Do you know what you and Cameron have done to me over the years? And you said stuff to me that indeed. Thanks for that, my chef. It's my big word of the day. Watch out, wordles. Indeed. Was using quarter keys to me, and you have always had this condescending mean girl thing with me.

And you made me feel like all those girls I grew up with in school that made me feel I wasn those girls I grew up with in school that made me feel I wasn't as good as I was. Oh my god. That's your own trigger, castor, and she stopped shutting me down everybody. That's a character in Jesus Christ. Now it's like the women showed up like we are keeping our jobs. That's it. When we were showing up, our stories have not been told all season, because we've had to focus on these asshole guys, and now we're finally going to say our piece.

So, yeah, she's like, you know, you use this word, it's not forgets me in the custody battle. Naomi's like, I never talked about your custody battle. I talked about a custody cheese baton, which may sort of sound like custody battle. It's totally different in Catherine. She goes, well, stop it, okay. And she's like mad at Leva and everything. And she's like, let me voice what I feel.

Stop shutting me down. Thank you. That is what we are here to do. And he's like, all right, cool. Hey Leva, do you think Caleb was right about Catherine always being the problem in the friend group? And Leva's like, well, I know for me personally, I had put everything to bed and tried to be super gracious with Catherine.

And I had her back multiple times, but then she like flips a switch and is like, I hate Leva. Literally, when hate Leva. Let her win, win, literally. She's like, you went on, watch what happens live and we're super rude about me. And I was like, okay, Leva, like what could possibly happen? I mean, you see the clip and Catherine's like,

they're like, so what do you think about Leva crossing the street? She's like, she was trying to be relevant. That's what I'll say about that, literally. That's cool, okay. All right, Leva's like, she was trying to be relevant. That's what I'll say about that literally. I was like, okay. Right. Love us like that's when we were done. And I said, as soon as I finished making this 34th batch of cookies in my kitchen with my toddler, I'm going to walk out of here and give her a piece of my mind. And she's like, God, that's when I was done. And Catherine says, stop yelling rude. Stop yelling at me. Just relax. She's like, God, that's when I was done. And Catherine says, Stop yelling rude.

Stop yelling at me, just relax. She goes, I'm not yelling at you. You are how it hurts. So. And she's like, okay, hot button issue. The grape jelly meatballs, we got a lot of feedback about them, what the hell? And she's like, I'm telling you, it's good.

So smile says, God, your meatballs were shit, Captain Jesus Christ. Holy moly on Twitter wouldn't even comment. Mary, holy moly couldn't even do a poll. What was that bad? There's only one answer. They look like shit. So and he's like, I was watching the meatballs the whole time.

So Catherine's like, well, my mom makes him on Christmas and she's like, I like them, dammit. I like them. How are you talking about meatballs? Talk about the horse. Gosh, Taylor. Talk about meatballs and the horse. And Andy asked if she ever made those meatballs for Thomas. And she says, Oh, no, for Thomas on the same and with mayonnaise and then they show the clip of her coating that salmon and the sound effects So Andy goes maybe you should stop cooking for your man I'm cooking for your men! AHHHHH! AHHHHH!

AHHHHH! AHHHHH! Hey! So people, uh, we're skeptical about your relationship with Caleb, uh, and Judy from Judy Town says the relationship with Caleb looks staged to clean up your image after you were racist! And she goes, Our relationship was very genuine.

I thought I was in love with him. I thought finally I found a man who loves grape jelly and meatballs as much as I do. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. So Andy asked the need of what she thinks. It was it real or not. I was like, okay, you're gonna, you're gonna ask the only cast member. Come on. And she's like, yeah, I mean, why not? I thought I liked them come on and she's like, yeah I mean one hour if I like them together and Andy's like so Catherine you dating now We've asked Venita her one question This 30 minutes segment. Oh you dating anyone and she's like, huh?

I'm talking to someone right now It's on fire! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Well, after a dramatic break up, Austin was ready to put some energy into himself. I'm sorry. When was this time that Austin wasn't putting energy into him? Yeah. Can we roll tape? What the hell? Seriously. So, of course, Andy is the first thing he's going to talk about is, can we talk about

your butt? You know, the one second, there was like one brief moment on one episode where Austin's like, I have a good butt. And so now it's a five minute moment. So Austin stands up and he like shows his butt to Andy. No, face the camera, show the world. It's like, I don't think those pants are flattering for your ass,

but it looks good. Madison has a change. Okay, Venita, here's another question. What do you think about Austin's ass? Now, what do you think about Madison's thoughts about Austin's ass? Who's a guy that better ass? Come on, Veneta, give me something. All right, guys, twirl around, honey.

Twirl around to get... Okay, you can sit down now, guys. I don't want to talk about butts a little time. That's kind of sexual harassment on the job. Instead, let's talk about Austin and Craig. Hey, have you guys seen each other dick set? Hey, chef and Austin showed each other their dick. Oh, Craig, where are you?

Show your dick. Hey, Craig, do it right now. Run for it. Come on, do it right now. Don't face the camera. That was for the butt. Dick faces me. Come on, guys.

Okay, on a scale of dick to butt, who has the best of both those? Okay, Mary Holy Rowanley says, who has the best butt that a dick can go into and the candidates for Craig and Shep and Austin? Do you guys want to hear the results? Everyone's like, no. Okay, okay, some of them talking about sex. Cecilia Conque so says, Craig, have you stuck your penis inside Austin's earlobes? Yeah, that is earroll. Yes, we know, Craig, do it right now. Craig do it right now, Craig.

And Craig's like Austin thinks it's normal now, that like now that Austin and Shep have shown each other their dicks, he thinks it's normal now. And he's like Austin and Shaq have shown each other their dicks. He thinks it's normal now and he's like doing it to me and I don't want to show my dick and Andy's like, but why don't you want us? Why do you want to see Craig's dick? And Austin's like, it's weird. I've known you too long.

I want to see your dick. Maybe I'm in love with Craig. And Craig's like, Andy will you help us explore our love. And he's like, listen, I'm gay and my friends, we don't even show each other our dicks, not even Andersen. Yeah. And Madison goes, well, it tends a lot of bad person when you see their dick. And I thought, God, that's horrifying. Please let that not be true. I know like 30 minutes later. It's awesome staying in all the time. I mean, I guess she's got a point, but it's not a point that makes me feel great.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then, um, Mountain from Dew says, I don't think anyone is surprised to learn Austin is boring and bad. I bet he makes you do all the work. Well, listen, some step me ran for all those three years. Sorry, Olivia.

Olivia's like, no, I'm just glad you said something nice for once. Yeah, and she's like, she's like, yeah, we literally thought, just for a reason that what, and that reason was to make up, mainly because when we make up, we'd have corn. And I was born for that. Yes, so this leads us into the Austin redemption scene. Right. So I took a smoke break. I was like, I don't have to vape outside. But I'm going to buy. Yeah, Austin basically talks about how his family moving out of their house and coming across that final box of his late sisters belongings and he starts choking up.

It's like a very sad thing. And he talked about how his sister Katie really made their family whole again. And like literally everyone on the set is crying. Andy is crying. I don't think I've ever seen Andy cry at the reunion. Maybe like he's gotten choked up. Shep has a tear.

Shep has like, Shep has like one tear coming down. But the thing that was funny about that is that when Shepp wipes his tear off, it is so violent because he was just sitting there. This tear is like halfway down his cheek and then he's like, oh, they're gonna get the tear off.

And he like smacks his face with both his hands. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm like, it's like exactly how to expect Shepp. He literally acts like, like it a some violent predator on his cheek. Yeah. And Taylor gets up and leaves crying.

She leaves the set. And Andy's like, why did Taylor leave? And Austin said, yeah, you know, she's like, like an empath for sure. You know, like, she just feels what I feel. I mean, she friends them like three slits just on the way into the reunion today. I mean, that's how in touch we are. Yeah, but actually the truth is that Taylor's sister has cancer.

So this is obviously extremely like, like she's raw about this very much. So, so then after everyone like settles down from that, et cetera, and then after everyone, like, settles down from that, etc. And he's like, well, friendships have always been the bedrock of this group. But it seems like Austin and Shap were estranged from Craig at the beginning of the season. And Austin's like, uh, it's just because we hadn't talked in a while. And Taylor says, well, I feel Craig, like you pulled away from everybody, Craig. You really did. Did Craig give full of himself?

I love it because you literally said to me, do you want to go to war with me? Because I'm literally the most popular person on Bravo. And he goes, why, when did I say that? She's like, you said it right in front of a page to me, Craig. And he goes, welcome'll come back to this. I was like, no, no, no, I want to get to the bottom of this. I like this fight. Yes, this is what we came here for. Okay. Not fucking great jelly meatballs in Austin's ass.

Sir. Yeah, I fully believe Craig said that. That sounds very Craig. I'm like the most popular person I'm Bravo. So if you want to go to war with me, good luck because I've been staring at something on the ceiling, so I'm ready to go. So she's bold and boring and she proves that Austin has a type. Our name is Olivia Flores and she's a not-descript blonde girl sitting here rolling her eyes and probably smacking God like she did every other episode this season Olivia, hi Olivia, she's like God thanks for the intro cheese Madison's a bitch That's what I'm well what do you have to tell us about yourself fucking Madison Hater Hater guts. Oh, she dies Are we just gonna skip over the fact that's new girl is literally just a Madison slash Carl

Radke clone. And Olivia is like, well, I've always thought Madison was beautiful, so I'll take that part of it as a compliment. Not sure about the Carl part. And she goes, yeah, and I wouldn't even tell her that, but you're mean as hell, Madison. And he's like, Madison, you made a comment. Cause I think all of us are like, well, I mean, Madison is mean as hell, right? That's kind of hurt everything.

But when has she been mean as hell to Olivia? Like, why is Olivia so mad? That's what I was wondering. They were on good terms enough that Olivia invited Madison to her party. The only time it seemed to like, go sour was at the finale, when there was that random moment. Why were Madison was just like shitting on people being kicked out. She's like,

I'll never, I'll never. And then I've been Olivia like gave Madison the finger or something. Yeah, she's your only bitch. And she got up and walked off. So I remember that, but like, why are you this mad at Madison, right? So, and he's like, well, Madison, you made a comment on E online, calling Olivia Trust Fund Trash and Homely. Oh, okay. Okay, thank you. Question answered.

Yes. Also, by the way, when we watched the finale, we were like confused about why Madison was being such a mean girl. And I personally had totally forgotten that there was this dust up with Vanita and Madison and Leva that happened with the phone and the car. I think that was a failure on the producers part that they did not keep that thread alive because I had totally forgotten about it and it was so small and so off screen. So like, I'm just so random.

Why Madison was being so mean to Leva, but then obviously there's a reunion, like it kind of all came back. So he asked her about that comment and Olivia goes, um, and homeless. She called me homeless too. And Madison goes, well, if you do MTV cribs with your parents, I was so. It's true. It's so funny. And so, well, because wasn't that the thing was that she was on team cribs or something Didn't like I know that you was on team of people I'm most about it, but I didn't see it or anything

I was like I never watch Olivia on this so why would I go back and watch her on that one? Yeah, she was on team cribs. I believe I mean I I saw there was stuff about that I was like you know, I was like this is just gossip.'m not. I don't think I need to go down this path. So Olivia's like, well, I was taking a back and I didn't think we knew each other enough to have beef. And then you went on a shade tour and I didn't think it was necessary. And mess and goes, sorry. I don't need to, I don't need to, sorry, I got to, I got to share a count to you.

It's just, yeah, you do. So then we get to a taking it slow segment with Austin, the yearly Austin just wants to take it slow. So he's like, well, clearly, seeing you see Olivia with a day, you were granted, Dalinger, did you want to do day is slow? Remember, let's have your butt answer that one. Get up and twerk your butt tips to give me an answer. Do it like Jim Carey and Ace Venture. And Austin's like, well, do not go in there.

No wrong part of Ace Venture. So Austin's like, well, I knew it was a risk. I was going to take, like, telling her to date someone, and then you have to eat it. And then what are you going to do? You know, like, what are you going to do? And I'll be like, well, don't go home with your ex girlfriend who's that was never the intention Who's never when I went home with my ex girlfriend? I was never intending to go home with my ex girlfriend

I was just planning to go home with my ex girlfriend, but not go home with my ex girlfriend That makes any sense. Yeah, we were just gonna speak and Craig's like, yeah, so you're saying like it wasn't revenge It wasn't a revanching and Olivia's like like, he literally said if I hadn't brought a date, then he wouldn't have done it. And Craig's like, yeah, well, okay, I'm gonna try like to make this make sense. But like, you know, if the most popular person on Bravo was like here and then there was a train going five miles.

Craig, get to the point, Craig. All right, well, he wouldn't have gone to her if you didn't have a date. She was, yes, Craig, that's exactly what was just said. That's the issue. He's like, no, no, no, no. But if you hadn't brought a date, he wouldn't have gone home with her. But he didn't go home with her to hurt you. He just did it because you had it. It's your fault. And he has no control over his emotions. And because of what you did, he was forced to go hang out with Sierra, I don't think it makes sense.

What a himbo. So Austin's like, well, let's go ahead and talk for one of his insane voices. Let's see, not that one, not that one. And Olivia's like, you have to talk to her naked, naked. He's, we smooth things over. And he's like, have to talk to her naked naked He's we smooth things over and he's like you are a rationalizing and jealous I think that he should have gone over to Olivia and swept her off her feet smack Zach or Jack or plaque or whatever His name is and said get out of here. This is my woman

Trader like the object that she is without having to make she doesn't have to make decisions You're the man and you declare her hers. You're his and that's your property and you claim it. That's what I say you should have done. Yeah, Taylor is on another planet, I really, and I like Taylor, but I just like, oh, Taylor, this is your, this is going to be a problem going forward with any band, you know. So don't respect her wishes just to go over there and you tell it. Don't respect her boundaries. Don't respect her boundaries or consider what she might be

wanting in that room. You just go over and take her. Women have long hair so you can pull it and drag me into a cave. That's how it works. And he's like, oh, I know this is a Southern show, but so Madison's like okay, riddle me this are you in a relationship or not okay because you're moving to the snail's speed that's what you're moving that slow that's what I mean slow there's a slime track coming from you Austin and it's a slow one and all of this riddle me this. This snail got a tail. Riddle me this, Austin. A doctor is performing surgery on the doctor's child and this on the father. But what happened to the mother?

Riddle me this. They're all confused because they can't imagine actually a surgeon being a woman. Like, there's no answer to this riddle me this. They all are, they're all confused because they can't imagine actually I was searching being a woman. Like there's no answer to this riddle. Craig's notice is bleeding again. So, Libby is like, no, we're not in a relationship. Anteila is like, Austin, you seem so sad about that. Look at poor Austin.

And Austin's like, yeah, look at all this turmoil. Like, I just don't want to like lose you like in the capacity of like friends. You know, like happen to me in Madison, dammit. Cause like you can call me a coward or any other adjective that you like, but losing you terrifies me as a friend. As a friend, losing you as a friend terrifies me.

And he's like, okay, so it was romantic for a time. And Olivia was like, yes, especially after being done filming and not worrying about the label and everything. Look, we took a whole bunch of photos in like vineyards and stuff, we're really basic. Yeah, like really upset that we just missed fall. We're gonna do some pumpkin spaspicks. But if you stay in that arena for too long,

you hit the gray area. And long, you hit the gray area, and nothing is built in the gray area, in the gray area arena, and after a while it chips away, you're arena in the confidence, and so in the end, you just kind of feel like gray areas are in arenas. I'm not following anymore,

but I think I understand. Olivia, and I'm- You said arena was so many times I'm having social anxiety. I'm sorry. I you said arena and I thought about gladiators and I kind of had a sex fantasy while you were talking so Olivia and Austin are you guys gonna wind up again together and mass is like I think when he's done with his redemption tour and doesn't need someone on this side of the couch to take up for him then no I was like went on this side of the couch and take up for him, then now I was like,

good, no lies detected. Yeah, no one is detected. And she goes, look at all the exes here. Okay, they'll call him a laptop. And he thinks he's a ranked rover. Andy. And Olivia is like, um, yeah, well, I'm not going to call him that because I'm not a mean person. And even if I still wasn't dating him, like, I'm not going to break people down because I'm not mean like you. She's, oh, okay. When you're in three years, say, I see you can talk about it. Okay, we'll see how many you are in three years.

And she's like, come in. Okay, what did she say after that? She went like, I don't care. She's like, I don't know, I don't care. Olivia's like, does anyone realize that she took a metaphor and said, she thinks everyone says he's a lap dog

but she thinks he's a Range Rover. Does anyone realize that lap dog and Range Rover are not on the same spectrum? Does anyone realize this? Yeah, I didn't really get that one either. So here's the thing about Olivia. So she's just laid this out and said they were dating, but then she was really ready to keep dating.

It's just him that couldn't figure it out. This is why I don't trust the saliva, okay? And I'm like a lot of things that she did during the season. I'd love her yelling at Chef and throwing an egg at ham, like generally standing up against the man, but I just don't trust the saliva. And this is kind of why, because then we find out the truth later

and it's not what she just said. Right, well, yes. So then, but then before we do that, now we start talking about Madison's fiance, Brett. And someone wrote in, Ha, bah, ha, bah girl. And he's like, well,

Andy's that basically asking the proposal was everything she dreamed of. Madison was like, you were shocking because he asked for Hudson's permission and Hudson said as long as he was a part of it. And then Hudson said, you better bring some corn. And I don't mean one ear. I mean a whole wagon full otherwise mom is never going to marry you. He was just so sweet. And Andy's like, well, are you guys

thinking of babies? And she's, oh yeah, for sure. I mean mostly for the free stamp sales. But you know, we're just waiting for technology to get there because I've been told that you cannot do facial surgery on a baby while it's inside of you and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Okay. I mean I'm always talking about babies but enough about Austin. Am I right? I have someone. Um, so, uh, he's like, so yeah, you guys have been talking about how you're not having sex a month before the wedding. I mean, Um, so, uh, he's like, so yeah, you guys have been talking about how you're not having sex a month before the wedding.

I mean, could that even Mormon? I mean, could you date a Mormon captain? And captain's like, I don't really know what that means, but I love how Salt Lake City looks on TV. They have bathtubs outside full of hot water. And Matt, so Matt, and then Andy's like, so you're not gonna have sex for a month before you're wedding? Can we just focus on this some more?

And Madison's like, oh, Andy, that was just a joke. There's like a lot of sexual chemistry. We are very, very active. Okay, cool. Well, Perv from Vert says, I'd pay money for that sex tape. I thought about selling it because it's really fucking good. It's probably the best I ever made and it's like go on.

Well, you actually made the sex tape. Our sex tape was condoned by the church. Well, they didn't really have eye phones that filmed that when they wrote the bottle. So we're still unsure on that. Okay. But we can't talk about this anymore because I have a future mother-in-law. Yeah. Okay, cool.

Well, Sally from Field says not a question, but a theory. I think Austin and Madison were still looking up closely engagement announcement. That's why you went from friends to distant in the span of the episode. She also adds Austin, you're a pussy and a piece of shit. Wow, cool, thanks. Ugh. And love that answer. She's like, yeah, I just think that like,

Madison gets a cake out of like, bugging Austin and then Austin like, gets a cake out of being bugged. So like, that's their thing. Madison's like, well, here's the thing. You were my friend, you know, right at the party, like you were framed with me. Well, we've been cordial.

It was being cordial. Yeah. But then you hear I get engaged and then you just ask me, yeah, I'm now in our friends. And he says, well, you could have told me you were getting engaged because I was like, blindsided. I'm going to blindsided right now. And at this point, Andy's getting so fed up with Austin because Andy clearly

hates him. And like, Andy's, Andy Rags on Austin all the time on Watcher Happens Live. And he's like, so like, why does she need to keep you in the loop if she's announcing her engagement? I mean, he's, well, if she's saying there were friends, he's like, but cordial and friendly is different than the person I need to loop in. Stupid piece of shit. wow do you do you think Naomi should have given him a heads up huh? Yeah, yes Naomi if the heads up is appropriate and Naomi's like no I mean that wouldn't be appropriate to her boyfriend I mean and Austin's like well it sounds like the end

on the holiday it's just like dick it's's dig after dig after dig and We see the Amazon live clip where she's like oh am I gonna tell anybody else about my engagement? Well the only X that I really find important at all his head since father There has ever never been another premium in my life that has any significance or importance to me Especially the ones obsessed with their hair. I think that I you know I have one of my exes ties in a pool of his own terrible hair that's probably falling out right this very moment. Thank you for kind of the Amazon. Also, rubber beads.

Keep the rain out. And Lash is. So Andy's like, who thought that was a dig at Austin? And then everyone's like, yeah, I'm cra Craig's like, well, I can see both sides. That's just the perspective you have when you're like the most popular person at Bravo. Greg, Greg and Austin clearly made a pact to come and stand up for each other, not go against each other, brah. And Greg's trying, man, he's trying.

I can see both sides. That's a situation. So Andy, then like transitions this over to talk about the garden party that Madison and Vanita had and Andy's like, Vanita, did you think Madison inviting Olivia and Catherine with sabotage? And Vanita's like, oh, is this a question for me about me? Okay, cool. Well, no, but I would have preferred to tell me

that she was inviting them and then off like, are you as friends now? Matt is like, now. And Vinita's like, not by my choosing. So it turns out these two are, I've had a falling out too. Yeah, it's everyone's dumping Vinita because he says to you two friends and she says,

are we, Matt is like, now, she goes, well, that's not my choice, you know. So love us says, okay, well, I have a question. Did Madison snatch that phone out of your hand or not, Venita? And Madison goes, yeah, it ah ha. And then we see the clip of Venita being like, oh, well, she only saw that text in the first place because we were trying to begin music on the iPhone.

And then she took the phone and then saw the tax and so Madison. By the way, in that flashback, she said, I've seen, remember, Venita saying that she gave the phone to Madison. She didn't say that Madison snatched out of her hand, right? Who's not like described as a particularly like violent or a violating experience? I didn't write it down. Yeah, I just remember her saying something like, we were getting in the car.

She's looking for music. So she, you know, she had my phone and then she saw the text just kind of how I remember it. So Madison's like, oh, did I snatch the phone? Because in the summer, I'm not snatching a phone. I have anyone's hand. Fun snatched her. It's like, less time you look at that. I think she said unless I'm fucking you.

Oh, that makes more sense. I was like, why is she, why is she insinuating that Vanita's a phone smatcher? What's happening here? Yeah. And like did I smudge it or not? If we need to says, I mean, you took it, but okay, you can change the word if you need to. And Madison's like, you literally checked the phone and you went like this and she's like shows how I've been able to like held it up. And she goes, and this is what what you said. And that's when I was like, fuck you, liva, and fuck you if needed because I saw what you said that

girl's not to. And you threw me under the bus. And Madison's like, and then she's like, and the one thing I did tell you is the place you don't ever want to be in an empty corner. And also my bad side. And Taylor kind of mutters too, Austin. Yeah, everyone here can it test you don't want to be on her bad side. Her Madison's like, you see Madison,

she's like, this is what she does. And then you acted like a brat on your birthday. She's like, well, that's my birthday and it's my right to act like a brat. She's like, the birthday party I threw you and not's my right to have click a brat. She's like, at the birthday party, I threw you and not once did you say thank you or even help me clean up. I mean, it was like, I sent people

to help clean up the next day. And Matt was like, well, guess what the people were? Me. And he's like, I like that you sent people. See then fucking, say fucking people, give me a break, I was moving boxes. And he's like, okay, we're in the box fighting fucking people give me a break I was moving. Doxies. And man, he's like, okay, we're in the box fighting.

Let's take a break. Let's take a break. And they're all like our standing up and Austin's like, God, keep these tweets. They're not even a question. It just like mean to me. I just know what I was expecting at all. It's insane right now. Like actually from Simpsonville tweeted, fuck you, you, you suck, your hair is dumb.

Like is there a question there? And captain goes, yeah, and what about your dry ass meatballs? So then we come back and they're still on break about to sit back down and Madison and Austin are like hugging on each other and taking selfies and laughing. And Craig's like, yeah, well, we were walking out. I was like, wow, all right, let's go back out and hang out there with our exes, guys. There's a reason my Q rating is through the roof.

All right, we're back. Olivia, I heard through someone who was sad enough to have to see this, but you were feeling upset back there. What's going on? And she's like, well, I just don't like that I'm having to explain that that Austin and I are just friends like, like y'all, like y'all to hate each other, but you're cracking up at each other's jokes because she's talking to Austin and Madison because and I'm just sitting here.

It's just, it's a lot, it's a, it's a different, it's a different universe until there goes. Well, there's a lot of love here. And I think if Olivia could have a relationship with us and 100%, she would be 100%. But you guys are so wishy-washy. Sort of like how wishy-washy does. Slopped in Texas, I was a chef. Then wishy-washy, you sleep with women's chef.

Okay, tell her, let's bring it back in. Taylor, did the horsey's washy's hat, did the horsey's washy's hat. Okay, Taylor. So then Austin's like, wait, would you, like, would you want to be 100%? So then this is when Olivia's like, yeah, it's just like confusing because like, you came to me and you said you were like 100% into a relationship now. I was like oh okay so then he did he did come to you and say he wanted a relationship and she's like and I was so mind-fucked because like the things like with you were so complicated like so I like said like I could imagine like we could get there at some point. And he goes, uh, yeah, I don't think that's how it went.

And, um, Vinnie does like, she wanted you to fight for her. They're mass. Like, she wanted to say, like, no, I'm not ready. And you to be like, no, I'm ready. You can trust me, you know, or whatever. Yeah. And that's a problem. You can't go back at him with his own fighting style. You know what I mean? That's not going to work on him. Yeah, well, I don't know, but I think I, I'm on team Olivia with this one. I think that, you know, we saw him at

the Frank Floyd Wright house be like, what a view of you. And she's like, well, I'm going to take it slow because I'm not sure that you're over your ex and like you have a lot of confusing behavior. And so she's like, I'm going to like not dive into this, which I think was a totally fair thing for her to say. And I think later on, no, no. No, at the Frank Lloyd Wright house, I ended with them deciding they're gonna like be a boyfriend and girlfriend now.

I didn't think it was that they were gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I think that they were, I was under the impression, and I don't really, I remember the details of it, so I could be wrong. I thought it was just like, okay, we'll try to make this happen, but like, they're going to take it like one step at a time. Well, he was like, I'm ready. I want to be with you, and she's like, yeah, I want to be with you to or whatever. So whatever that means in that universe. Well, either way, I mean, she's talking about these talks. I think they were after the show, like after the show, they kept dating and had a really good time. And then he said, I don't want to be with you or what like I can't commit.

So then she got all upset, but then they were still hooking up. And then she said, oh, no. Oh my God, I don't know. Now I'm confusing myself. You're making me doubt my own history. Well, mom, I mean, either way, I mean, I think no matter what, I think that Austin poisoned the well, right, like no matter what they were gonna do afterwards,

the fact that his opening act with her was complaining about Madison and being focused on Madison and saying he wanted to take it slow. It's hard to come back from that to be honest. Then you can try to come back from that and try to be like, okay, I'm in. Let's try to make this work. But you've created a... Once you create that casual tone or whatever, I think it's hard to gear that back up.

I think you actually almost have to have like complete separation and then like a hard reset. But you can't go like the, okay, let's try to do this. Maybe not do this or whatever, because what happens is you wind up in that stupid cycle where Austin says, oh, let's slow down. So that's like a red flag for her. So then when he's like, okay, I'm ready now,

she's like, but I just saw that red flag. So I don't know if I'm ready. And then he'll be like, oh, but now I don't know if she's ready. And they just will go back and forth, ping pong in the stupid state, until it takes over a reunion stage. And we have the true of us, we're sitting here debating these idiots.

Yeah, I mean, I look at it with less realism attached. I think she's on a TV show and this is her thing. She has to date someone on the TV show. Otherwise, why would she be there? So she's trying to be interested in him, but she's not really. And then he's like, well, I need to live interest on this TV show. So I'll try to be into her and they're not really. And so that's where all this is coming from. Like I'm not buying it. In other words. Yeah, but the thing is this, those like,

this is Austin's complete behavior. This is now the third girl in a row, at least, that we've seen maybe three and a half if you throw in Lindsey Hubbard. But like this is Austin's thing. Oh, Austin's a piece of shit. Yeah, don't get me wrong. Austin's like consistently a piece of shit.

It's not that. It's just that it doesn't make a livea hero to me. I'm still like, why are you here? That's how I feel. Oh, okay. Well, that's a different argument. I mean, Olivia is- Oh, I mean, Austin's a piece of hero.

Yeah, but Austin's a piece of shit. But I was on her side. I was on her side when she says in like a few minutes, she basically is like, she clarifies and says that she was really patient with him when he was trying to figure out what he wanted. And the one time that she wanted him to be patient with her while she tried to figure out her, her shit, he wasn't. And I thought that seemed like a very fair point and like it seems to really support every

piece of evidence we've ever seen about Austin. Yeah, to just be like, well, I need some time. I mean, but he's doing what he wants them to do, right? When he says, listen, I just want to be friends. I don't want anything with you. He wants them to just be okay, and just leave it alone, and not keep being like, but I think he said to you which is wanting me to wait.

And so he's doing the thing that he wants them to do with him, which is like, when I say, leave me alone, leave me alone. And she's like, but I wanted you to fight for me, wanting him to do the same thing that she was trying to do. You don't belong together. Wait, can I explain it? Can I explain it? You don't belong together.

You don't belong together. She's a girl. He's a boy and girls and boys are usually together. But like sometimes the boys ready, but the girl's not and like the boys are usually together, but like sometimes the boys ready with the girls not and like like the boys and the and their girls. We are from Holy Moli says I'm the most popular person on Bravo the end. Can I take this over? Yeah, Taylor, please help me out.

Okay, here's what happened. Austin Taylor wanted you to fight for her. Fought so hard. She wanted you to walk up and say, I don't care who you're attracted to right now. You're mine, I own you, and you will live in my house. That's what she wanted.

You don't have to make decisions. You get to quit your job now and travel the world for 10 days. So, um, and he's like, wait a minute. So you rejected Austin? And why are you crying right now? And she's like, yeah, I was patient and then he was impatient with me. And then he's like, um, but Olivia spent a lot of time on Austin. And then Austin spent a lot of time talking shit about his ex. So it's probably like hard to see them like joking together and not going, nothing happened. She goes,

yeah, you guys like hate each other. And I'm the one sitting here like an idiot defending you. Imagine this goes, this is three years, honey. Okay, you've been here like five seconds. And then Austin says, it's just like funny. And Olivia is like, what do you want him and mask us now and Olivia goes well? You could have had me fucking fools stop talking to me Years she just get get it all out. Just make those headlines Madison make those headlines And it's like if you committed to you tonight, would you do it? And I live as like, no, are you still sleeping together?

No, it used to be regular, but like we stopped like a week ago. Okay, I guess sleep together tonight? No, did you sleep together last night? No, you can sleep together tomorrow? No, have you looked at the spot? I'm not sure about today. Did you know if Austin touches this spot

while he masturbates? No, I'm out of some laughs. I'm like, well, now I don't want a fan to Austin. Mastermates today. Did you know if Austin touches this but only mastermates? No, I'm Madison laughs. And she's like, I don't want a fantastic guy for bed. I mean, Austin's saying, look at him over there. Looking so cute. I'll stand. It's made me see him. But you know, poor Austin can't do anything right.

I mean, everyone's just ganging up on Austin. She's like, oh my God, we're literally having a conversation. I'll go bed. I'll clear. Like he's not committed. Let it go. Well, this is a tough thing to say. But like if it was meant to be, I don't think you guys would have waited this long to commit because Paige and I are like Bravo's perfect couple and look how we are wearing

love. So you guys should be like us. And Hendy's like, well, Austin, it seems like you hurt people because you're you're pussy. Austin's like what? And then I guess he calls you a pussy. And he's like hey Andy that was my happy. He's like no I got it was like anLL. It was like the LLL of

The sense like I agree with Craig so Taylor's like never ask shit for advice don't ask shit for anything ever Horror sleeper with her Hey, Chip, what do you want for much? Oh, or don't even ask shit. Just feed him what you got to get you Well, you know, it's a little bit, you know, when you drag your feet, it says something, and I really do think Olivia is more of a home body than Austin, and I've always said this is a preventative aspect of their relationship and Taylor's like, that's a good quality to have.

At the age of 30, go home, go to bed, be supplicant, be quiet and let the man make a choice! Okay, that's good! But I'm just saying, like, you're with someone who's a social animal! Did I hear about animals because I lost my beer can't dole? So, remember the scene, you know, I'm gonna put a sticker up. Is that a bar over there? Hey Craig, your pillow shop looks a whole lot different. Hey Pringle, we're not at the pillow shop. It's a set Oh

You guys have a little fridge somewhere maybe have some beers for anyone who comes around the sled anything like that and yet I just drank a pillow so who's the Indian now? Mandy Dowing So love is like Andy. I think this is why guys you guys date like So, Love is like Andy, I think this is why guys, you guys date like girls that are a lot younger because they're not home bodies. And Andy goes, alright, well I guess I figured out what you were in, I misspelled whatever this word was. We'll leave it there.

Cheers. Love is really turned it out tonight, by the way. Hope everybody saw a premium of her spinoff with everyone as convinced about. Why did we give this person a spin off of anybody? Did they show a preview I missed it? They sure did. They showed a preview of Southern hospitality here. The new Vandipump rules, starring Levas, the new Ace of Vandipump. She's like, you guys like, I'm old and are like, I'm fire everybody. And they even have them all sitting down like the

Leesa Vanderpump, you know, employee meeting, like it kind of looks similar. It's like a blue, a big, high blue booth, you know, that's, wow, was it a commercial? That was like, Oh, I don't know how I missed that. I was like coming soon, Southern hospitality. And it looks like it's all about lava, but then they start showing the waiter's a waiter says. And they're like, oh my God, I can't believe that you would do that to me, and we're wearing a bodacious hat.

And it would just cut to lava being like, oh my God, just fucking shit me in the face with a butter knife. Or whatever. Well, I'm glad that they changed the name from the level land. I don't know why they even had that name level land. So in hospitality, that's very good. Yeah. So we'll see. We'll see how that turns out.

I'm not sure that love can really anchor a show. But then once I saw the preview, I thought, you know, well, but she will be a good anchor because it's what she does with the Southern charm cast, but it makes sense. Cause she treats everybody like they're heard stupid employees, you know? So I want you to really like, I will not hang out with these idiots, you know?

Yeah, I like Leva. I just, I think that like she, like the fact that she did not participate on the group trips was annoying to me. And I don't know, maybe she's just not like the perfect match for this show, but I like her as a personality. Well, you're gonna get some nice, big old,

fried, heaping suffer. A lot of love. A lot of love, oh. A lot of love, oh. Well, thanks everyone for being here. It's fun, fun way to wrap up the week. We I can't tell if it's to be a three-parter or a two-parter, but based on the fact that they were showing very few clip packages on this episode and they seem to be moving briskly through topics, I'm going to

assume it's a two-par reunion. I think so because they're starting Winterhouse next week after this. So probably we will be covering with our house next week on the Boney Bologna episode. So be a member on Patreon to get that one next week. Okay. In the meantime, thank you very much for being here everybody. Have a great weekend. We sure love you guys. Yeah, we'll be back on Monday with the Real Housewives of Potomac. Bye everyone. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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