Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Little Raya of Sunshine

Episode Date: September 9, 2022

It’s Patricia’s yearly boys night on Southern Charm. Shep defends his choice not to delete a dating app while across town at girls night, Taylor defends her choice not to sign up for a da...ting app. Garsh! This week's premium Patreon bonus is a trailer breakdown for the new season of Real Housewives of Potomac. Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello everybody and welcome to What What Crappens, the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on the old brawves. Hello everybody. I'm Ronnie, that's been over there.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Hello, man. Hi Ronnie. Oh, I just broke my chair. I'm so sorry everyone. Wow, this is a, Wow, this is a this is a vintage 2019 office chair from IKEA that cost me at least 25,000 cents. So God, I'm so embarrassed. I don't know. I'm sorry. $25,000 from the 18th century. I'm like your chair is probably
Starting point is 00:01:22 historically racist. Get it out of my eye. Hey, and be why do you have idiots sitting on furniture that expensive? Also, did they not have fat people in the 18th century? Like, don't ever have me over there. Because I'm breaking everything. I'm telling you that right now. I'm in Vod in a bunch of man child caveman over. So let's put out the brittle furniture from two centuries ago. My mom, my mom like I don't know I think like the 90s or the 90s she bought a bunch of antique chairs for the dining room and it was like every time people would come over
Starting point is 00:01:59 someone would lean back and the chair would break. And it was always like okay don't lean back on these chairs. I was like, mom, why did you get antique chairs? I mean, they were eventually replaced, but like, I think memo to everyone. Antique chairs should not be actually used. It's like, make a sculpture out of them. Put them in the sides. Yeah, do you remember like back in the day?
Starting point is 00:02:23 Okay, I'm old for anybody new. Welcome, I'm old. But back in the day when you went to a thrift store or you know, like an antique store, it was cheap. Like you got that stuff because it was cheaper, right? Not because it was crazy expensive. And in the past couple of decades, it's become really, really expensive to get old stuff.
Starting point is 00:02:41 But I remember I would look at that and think, why do I want to sit on that? That's cheap and how big were people back then? think, why do I want to sit on that? That's cheap. And how big were people back then? Four feet tall? I mean, what the hell? What kind of growth hormones do we have in our food? Because we do have them.
Starting point is 00:02:52 We all know that we have them. No. But my God, when you look like a theater seat or something that was built in the 20s and it's built for a smurf, I mean, come on. Oh my God, or how about like you ever go, like you ever go to um, you ever go to like a tour of like an old castle or like an old mansion like like I remember growing
Starting point is 00:03:10 up, I remember going to Newport, Rhode Island and seeing the old mansions there or like just anytime I've gone somewhere where there's like an old castle and you see the rooms and you're like behind a velvet rope and it's like, look at it. And their beds are always like, who, like, like, like, like, like, my feet would be dangling off the, off the edge of the beds. So, you know, I mean, obviously people come in all different shapes and sizes, but it's just amazing how consistently small furniture was back then. Yes, but we get bigger people get bigger. Okay, so your chairs cannot be from the 18th century.
Starting point is 00:03:43 Or your ideals, you know what I mean? Yeah, like let's move on guys. I mean in the coming next week for Southern charm They actually two of the plot lines are like should women work. I mean guys I know this is called Southern charm, but are you fucking kidding me with this? Should women have jobs Oh, well, welcome to Southern charm well also like should women have jobs? Oh, hi, welcome to Southern Chong. Well, also, like, um, like 18th century furniture is not, um, has not been designed for Adderall needs.
Starting point is 00:04:14 So, like, if you've got a chef there with, like, a power drill of a kneecap, like going up and down, like, that chair is just going to crumble. I'm amazingly his was the one that stayed alive, but you know, that Craig was probably, like, those needs were going, he's probably doing, like, a jitterbug down there below the table. You you know that Craig was probably like, those knees were going, he's probably doing like a jitterbug down there below the table. You know, eventually the chairs,
Starting point is 00:04:28 like I can't support this movement anymore. Well, Craig is also a huge leaner. You know, that's how Craig does things where he's really insecure. So he does those things to make him look really confident like the burp, the burp inside your mouth and then slow blow or the yawn, the fake yawn, when he's pretending that he doesn't care what you're saying, even though he's dying inside.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And his other tell is the lean, the extreme lean back. Yeah, he's like, he's like never really advanced beyond the pictures in his high school textbook of like, Greciens reclining on their side with grapes being dangled into their mouth, you know, he's like, that feels like a pretty good way to sit on. It's not a sofa during a dinner party. Uh, now you don't lean back for grapes. Not just because you don't have the people to give them to you, but you can't even eat a grape without being like,
Starting point is 00:05:21 is there growth hormone on this? Did you branch these? I love that, Joe? I love that job. Lean back. Lean back. We have too many growth hormones in our grapes to the 18th century chairs. Not how the world works. Sure, women have jobs, cars. Okay, so let's get into it. This is doing girls night and boys night because now it's 2022 and you can't just have boys night
Starting point is 00:05:50 So now they have boys night and girls night Which is which is my I guess except the girls might all the girls hate each other I love it's just coming to ruin everybody's life. Yeah, I have to say by the way I love this episode I thought this episode was so funny and I feel like it really had a lot of the elements that I come to Southern charm for, you know, just sort of like drunkenness, like, like needling each other, gossip, all that stuff, you know, I was really happy with this. I was cracking up.
Starting point is 00:06:19 They're having a pretty good season, I would say. I actually have a couple episodes, especially. They've kind of found their form again. I've fully enjoyed this entire season. I know there's some people out there being like, it's boring, but season, I would say. I actually have a couple episodes, especially. They've kind of found their form again. I've fully enjoyed this entire season. I know there's some people out there being like, it's boring, but like I've actually been totally into it. And there's a lot of stuff going on, a lot of interesting dynamics.
Starting point is 00:06:35 So I'm like, although I also enjoyed last season, a lot of people didn't like last season, but I liked it, so. Yeah, I did not like last season, but this season I think is kind of better. This season's better. Yeah. Yeah. So we start at Patricia's yearly boys night, 7-jorm.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Oh, sorry, that was my intro for the show. So for the description on the actual podcast, I was like, why am I loglining the episode of The Gaby's Guide? We start with someone publishing a podcast and uploading a JPEG. Someone is sharing to Instagram. Only chair murders in the building. Only chair. Selena Gomez kicking out legs of antique chairs, but not actually opening her mouth when she talks about it. So, yeah, there was a chair. Yeah, it's funny because Selina Gomez isn't in any bravo shows, but she's a lot of my impersonations on bravo shows.
Starting point is 00:07:34 So, it's weird. She's always kind of here, especially when pages are on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she does sort of sound like monotone page because page is already pretty monotone but Selena Gomez is like she's really, she's really attached to the idea of not giving any emotion when she talks nor opening her mouth. And I feel like that's, that's very PG. That's her way. Yeah. Okay, so previously on Southern charm. Charm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:08:06 Oh. Oh. They owe me leading with positivity. Yeah. So we first get Olivia and Austin when she's like, you're someone I genuinely care about. Like board is hell. And he's like, I want to date you. You're the same right now.
Starting point is 00:08:22 I just want to have some goddamn fun. Okay. God damn Celine Dion. So we open with Craig playing. Yeah. And then Leva and her kid. He's like, I'm on a cookie. And she's like, you want milk? A cookie. So milk. Oh my god. Stop gasping your child. He said in cookie very clearly. What do you want from him? Yeah. Give him a cookie for crying out. He's being a good boy. So then, and then we see Marcy and John doing this. This is their one moment of the episode. They're doing squats together. It's like, I don't know if it's for exercise or to get the baby out. But Marcy's like, wow, it'd be amazing if I just went into labor right now because I don't
Starting point is 00:09:13 know if you realize this, John. Brad Pitt. But can Marcy, Marcy's in five seconds of this episode and she still reminds us that she's pregnant. Girl. I know. And then we see. I'll say the same thing to you that she's pregnant. Girl. I know. And then we see, I'll say the same thing to you that I would say to you
Starting point is 00:09:30 if I saw you in a cigar bar. You don't belong here, okay? Go nuts. We are saying if it's me to a cigar bar or a merciless bar, because she's pregnant. Oh, yeah. If I would say some, I would say to her what I would say I would say some I would say to her what I would say to her if I if I saw her in a New clear facility, you don't belong here your pregnant
Starting point is 00:09:56 I'm gonna say the same thing to her I would say to her if we were in a field in the 1800s Oh my god don't squat here. I'm trying to work. I would say to her the same thing that I would say to her if I saw her at a Oscar Myers quality control taste testing. Forum, don't be, you don't belong here, you're pregnant, you can't have cold cups
Starting point is 00:10:34 I want them Okay, so then and John her husband who I think is cheating on her because like he's too enthusiastic He's a clock. we're doing squats. Hope tomorrow's a big day. Oh, I can't wait for the baby. Cause the baby wants to do squats. Does the baby want to do squats? I was like, Oh, God, go fuck whoever you're fucking because you're obviously overcompensating, sir. Cheater. I know. Get an exercise ball for crying out loud. Why are you doing this to your knees? Um, I'm like, God, that exercise ball looks like me. You're the impregnant. I think that John thinks that he is maybe like winning America over more than he actually is.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I think that he might actually think because I don't know if you're filming all the time, you don't know what footage is being used. He may think that he's like a full on central cast member. Like in his mind, there's a full story line that's happened. Like he's happened like he's he's waiting to go I know it's late in the season but I'm pretty sure my story is coming up soon Marcy just wait. He's overconfensating for that episode that he missed putting the crib together.
Starting point is 00:11:33 He's like damn it. Receptic story in the room. Well, but that exercise is saying to Marcy the same thing I would say to Marcy at a cafeteria table in high school. Please don't sit here. The exercise. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Stupid. Okay. So then Whitney is working a gas fireplace, which I don't know why that was important to write down. And then Naomi comes over, I think, just in those same brown, blue other pants, which kind of makes me wonder what's going on over in her house. She just wear those last week. She was just in the neighborhood, okay? So she comes over and when he's like,
Starting point is 00:12:15 oh, Monty doesn't even bark anymore. She's like, what the fuck is Monty? She's like, is that the new butler? Why is your why's your butler barking? He's like, well, you uh, I like those other pants. Yeah, you know, uh, Grace Jones made, uh, those leather parachute pants famous in the mid 80s. So she goes, who? Chris Jones. She's like, how would I know who that is? I was born in the 90s. He's like, I always I always feel like Naomi is like very smart, but lately she has been just like brazenly and proudly flouting, flouting her ignorance where she's like, who's Grace Jones? And there was like something else where she was, there was, I forgot the word, there was a word at when they were at the Frank Lloyd Wright Helm,
Starting point is 00:13:03 she was like, what's that word? Oh, gate. She's like, I don't know what gate means. Is that something Grace Jones does? flaunting her attention, saying, I said, flouting. But I also, by the way, I, you know, there's so many dogs in Patricia's house. And Peaches gets a lot of air time. But like, I didn't really know about Monty. And I certainly didn't realize that there was one of those puffball dogs named Roy, which cracked me up. up like I think it's so fun. Sometimes dog names really cracked me up Like I've already I think I've already gone on record saying that I'm really amused that she has a dog named Chauncey But I think there's just one name Roy. It's just such like a normal name like Roy
Starting point is 00:13:41 This this like this like fancy foofy puffy dog. It's like, who's that? Roy. Let's go. Don't forget Randy. Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me. He's not a dog, but he has puff ball dog energy. If you know what I'm saying, he's not a dog, but he still does wear the collar to work. Oh, he's not a dog, but he still does wear the collar to work He's not a dog, but I do enjoy throwing biscuits at his head
Starting point is 00:14:15 So he has coffee with Whitney and she's like so Do I want to even know what you were wearing wait what oh? Yeah, I was born in the in the 90s and then and he was like do do I even want to know what year you're born? And he goes, well, I'll give you hint. Um, if you see any chairs around this house, that is my birth year. We've all got fragile legs. Great. He stands up, but like cracks. Don't you know me?
Starting point is 00:14:40 No, lean zone. So they talk about how Patricia gets up at the crack of moon and we see a shot of Patricia upstairs putting some kind of laser eye treatment mask thing on her eyes and I was like that looks so stupid. Oh my god, what is that thing? I wonder if I can Google image search that device. Yeah, it was like, you know, I just naturally assumed it was some sort of like anti-aging thing for the eyes, but it also kind of looked like she was maybe time traveling. Like George doing. She went back to the 1800s. I'm going to need to have some chairs made.
Starting point is 00:15:18 I know. I went back in time and had some chairs put in storage that way I can unlock the storage in 2021 and pull them out Like imagine using back to the future technology just for shopping for like really basic things Well Unfortunately, there was a butterfly butterfly effect Taylor used to be a very strong woman, but oh well butterfly effect. Taylor used to be a very strong woman, but oh well. So then Whitney says that they're going to have a French dinner for guys and I and he's like, why don't you host it? And she's like, um, yeah, I don't think that's a really good idea. And he's like, mercy boat, Cuba, get why not? And she's like, uh, yeah, uh, Craig hates my guts. So I don't think I should go. Love it. It will be that he called me psycho.
Starting point is 00:16:12 And when he's like, well, fucking then, what's not to like about you? You know, and she goes, there's a lot of like about me. Well, I haven't seen it. And she's like, wow, and you're so sweet. People don't know that you're so sweet, especially for being a pathetic old man So yeah, I told you there wasn't a lot to like about me So then we go over to Austin's house and his friend Bailey is old friend Bailey's over Bailey's back This woman has listened to so much of Austin's bullshit over the years. Geez. Who was she? Did she start with, well, didn't she start with Shep?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Did she come into the picture with Shep first and then to Austin? I can't really keep track at this point. I feel like Bailey. I remember her always being Austin's go-to to talk about girls. Madison College. Yeah. It's also amazing the number of hairdressers that circle around this cast. By the way, we have three.
Starting point is 00:17:04 We're now up to three. I feel like I'm watching like a back to the future show because every time a guy comes on this show and they have a hair scene, which is like every episode they show the guys doing their hair. I think, ah, that seems like so long ago that I had hair. I don't even remember what that was like being like, hey, can we record in a different time? I have to get a haircut.
Starting point is 00:17:24 We have started shaving my head in my 20s. Wow. Long time. I've been a big bald person for a very long. I've lived more years as time daily when she shaved her head as I had have any other face. So really, when later, when Austin is talking about how a new volume in his hair,
Starting point is 00:17:44 that's just really, it's just not something you relate to anymore. No, I'm thinking, God, I have a gigantic round head. Your head looks great. You don't have to worry about things like that when you have a pumpkin head. I mean, my head is round. You know, that's one thing I'll say. I was picked up.
Starting point is 00:17:57 Great head. Yes, you know, when people have flat heads, they, in the back of their head, they say that's because their parents didn't pick them up or when they were younger. And so they were just always in the crib and flattened their skull. But guess what? We were held. Yeah. Sure, we had a good cleaning lady back then. He would just hold it. It's really, it's really a touching story. You know that, are you flung yourself out like the your head outside the crib and was like
Starting point is 00:18:25 mother. We had a good cleaning lady who would set me on the counter top and put a call and draw on my head to dry, you know, really touching childhood. I'm surprised we haven't gotten that place in our society where parents are like molding their baby's heads in the shape that they want them to be. And then we don't have the scope baby heads. We've seen that from Bravo. People get those little helmets.
Starting point is 00:18:49 They're like, oh my God. His head's flat. No, but I mean, they reshaped their, their meat had that for her baby. Didn't she have that for Jack? No, I know that. I know that there's that, but I'm saying, I'm surprised that people do that to try to like bring, I don't know what, I really don't know why the why parents do that. You don't have to just like better shapes.
Starting point is 00:19:06 I know, I know it's, I know it's a medical thing like it could be a school thing or whatever, but like, I'm just surprised we don't have parents trying to make their kids heads the shape of like stars or moons or like hearts. Austin would say, I have a peanut head. Yeah, your parents paid a lot of money to make that peanut head happen. And also, by the way, how dare you sell a Mr. Peanut's reputation like that? Okay, I know Mr. Peanut. I have eaten his products and you sir are no Mr. Peanut head.
Starting point is 00:19:35 You know what's really crazy? By the way, audience I apologize because this recap is making no sense and I know and I don't really care. But what's crazy is while I was watching this, I was eating Mr. Peanut's. Where are you? I was sitting there eating those low calorie snacks known as peanuts. So there reminds me I do have to glaze some.
Starting point is 00:19:52 I bought like a huge number of nuts to glaze. Because Inaugurton has a really good, like a cheesecake chipotle, not recipe, and I bought so many of them. Like I bought bags and bags two weeks ago and I still have a done I just have bags of peanuts lying around. You see he just came up with another good use for a time machine. Hold on one second here Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Oh look at me. I'm snacking on my glazed peanuts that I made two weeks ago. Sorry that that butterfly effect caused a nuclear war but Ben had to go back two weeks and was designed a peanuts. Who knows butterfly effects, butterfly effect, I'm using my three hands to eat these peanuts right now because I'm everything everywhere all at once. Love that movie. Okay so Bailey's there to cut Austin's hair and he's like, Patricia wants to do like
Starting point is 00:20:44 a black tie dinner. I love a chop. Can I wear this? Can I wear this with a tie? I can look sharp, can I? I can look sharp. Who cares? Who cares what you wear? Cause you're just going to move your mouth and talk with your mouth wide open and spit all over the place anyway. Okay? Just talking pants at this point. Yeah, we're some of you by Shiree. And honestly, for all this talk about a Tuxedo, like he shows up not even wearing a tie. So you know what, so I don't want to hear it. So anyway, so Bailey's cutting his hair and I was like, my hair is one of the things.
Starting point is 00:21:16 I fuss over not my laundry, it definitely not my bed, but definitely my hair. And he's like, I got a peanut head. So you got to keep some volume in here. And then you see like a montage of him playing with his like adjusting his hair very carefully and meticulously like for days and days on end. Every day. And we watch these shows and sometimes wonder how does the production staff deal with this show, you know, like really any show on Bravo's. How do they do this every day, day in day, but especially this show, you know, like really any show on Bravo's. Like how do they do this every day, day in, day out, but especially this show.
Starting point is 00:21:47 I mean, they had shots of him from every single day of the week just standing in front of the mirror, trying to swoop his hair just right to make it not look like a peanut. Yeah. And the thing is it's so funny because I mean, there are some days when Austin legitimately has excellent hair. Like, it's just like it's styled perfectly, but then there's those other days, where he just has that sad Tucker Carlson hair. And I'm like, how is it very so much, right?
Starting point is 00:22:11 Like, how does it go from swad to Tucker Carlson in one fell swoop? Yeah, I mean, it's very consistent. The way it goes is down the drain. Okay. So fucking you and your hair privilege, all of you out there with hair. So Bailey is like very bored and she's like,
Starting point is 00:22:29 well, I guess the only way I can be on this show is if I ask you about Olivia. So you like Olivia. I'm happy with her. She's like, what about a chef and tailor, okay? And he's like, well, chef knows he can get away with murder with her. Sort of like me and Sierra, I guess you could say.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah, she's like, well, you know, chef, he's just adjusting to being in a relationship. And he's like, oh my god, it's been two years, not six months. I mean, why are you so cutting? You're making me nervous. You're making me nervous, being on it, being on it. She's like, listen, I'm just taking out a little volume. Oh my god, you're sorry, I got lost in the chef discussion. Do you have a monocle you could wear it at the party? Here's a cane. See, I want volume. I'm like, no kidding. You say
Starting point is 00:23:14 god damn, average. You say god damn volume. So, um, yeah. So he loves it. And he's like, yeah, you put some volume in this bitch. She's like, I got to go. I'll see you next week. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crappin' school. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
Starting point is 00:23:36 But come on, some days parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
Starting point is 00:24:08 What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app commercial
Starting point is 00:24:30 So Stefan Taylor are going to lunch with Taylor's mom and we went to this restaurant did we not? Maybe weren't there. I definitely was there with our friends You may have gone back to the hotel. I definitely remember being at this restaurant. I was like, oh, remember our trip to Charleston? Oh yeah, I think it was that day. You were like, oh, I'm not gonna do anything. I think I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.
Starting point is 00:24:54 And I was like, me too. And then I went to the rare bit instead and had lunch. I just remember it was like, it was like a late one. It was like 3.30 and there was like a weird like that late afternoon energy hanging in that place and it just like I emerged being like I'm so tired. So that was my y'all for the y'all. That's the time in the restaurant where the first shifts leave in the night shift is coming.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah, like the air is still changing. Yeah, the sun's mad out yet properly. Like a little, yeah, you're like a little tired from the walking you just did and you're like, I just have to get to this lunch now. Yeah. That's just place. Taylor's mom shows up. I think her name's Leslie, but I didn't. Yeah, it is. It is Leslie. Leslie. Leslie. And she's she's a very Leslie person if Leslie was played by by the Danner. Yes. I thought so too. I was like, this is big. Blight that down or energy. But like Blight Danner is if she never had Gweneth. Like she didn't have a daughter in her life being like, Mom, you got to try these creams. You know, it's like Blight
Starting point is 00:25:55 Danner if you had Taylor. It's like Blight Danner if she didn't like feel the need to teach self-respect. Blight Danner then or Blight then or were like, instead of hanging out with, like Steven Spielberg, she hung out with like Suéline and Jane and they went to Home Goods. Yeah, so more like a Blithe, than the actual Blithe. You know, she's more Blithe than the actual Blithe. So they go to lunch and Leslie is just
Starting point is 00:26:26 too smiling. She's one of those moms. It's like, hi, her eyes are big and open and blinking at you, but she also wants you fucking dead because you're emotionally abusing her daughter, but you are a man and you have a nice smile on the trust fund. So you know what, let's talk about this over some devil digs and, you know, I'll just say it lightly like abusive people can change overnight. Okay. Okay. Good to see you. And Taylor's like, I was definitely a mommy's girl growing up. The biggest lessons my mom instilled in me were Jesus, seatbelt, and sunscreen, but it wasn't like nice lessons. It was more like Jesus. Where's your seatbelt? Jesus. So she instilled Jesus seatbelts and sunscreen. So you're dating a liver spotted satanist Crash test dummy. I mean how does that make any sense? What do you fucking rebel or what?
Starting point is 00:27:24 Wow, I'm sure Bowser Lerman's not happy with that with sunscreen coming last on that list. Wait, what happened to Bazzle Lerman? Did he die? Don't tell me he died. No, he's still alive. No, then he'd do that song. I remember always wear sunscreen. So really, actually, I feel like she learned her lessons from Bazzle Lerman and her mom. Isn't that the guy who does the Elvis movie and the move on Rouge movie? Is he a director?
Starting point is 00:27:52 He is, but he also did that song. I don't know if he produced that song, whatever, always wear sunscreen. Everybody's free to wear sunscreen. Honestly, I never liked the song. I thought it was stupid, and I'm sorry that I have resurrected it for this moment because honestly, I will say this too. I think Boslerman is a little overrated, okay? Whoa. And in my in my straight portion of my life, I actually went on a date to see Boslerman's Romeo and Juliet and you know, so I... that's to although that was
Starting point is 00:28:25 perfectly nice uh... but i thought the movie was trash honestly i thought it was trash honestly i and i thought that my own roots was trash and i thought that um... well after that i just thought that i mean you're not gonna get me to watch elvis nor you can get me to watch asraeli because bozler minnes drag cracker to me is trash there i will be watching all this because i i think that the guy plays elvis is fat ready so i'm supporting him before he gets fat because I want to support him. Yeah, I support the journey.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Oh, I'll one up you with Bosler. I mean, I think Romeo and Juliet in general is bullshit. I hate that whole damn show. Oh, you're gonna get the shank beer. And if I get Patricia's time machine, I'd go back all the way to, I don't know, 1982, whenever that was written. And I'd say this is shit. I don't know 1982 whenever that was written and I'd say this is shit I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:29:08 How could one person kill themselves for the other person and then the other person kills himself and then the other person comes back to life because they didn't kill themselves properly and cry and not kill themselves. You better kill yourself team this was a pact. What kind of suicide pact is this? Yeah, they're just like honestly I think actually their families are better without them because You better kill yourself team. This was a pact. What kind of suicide pact is this? Yeah, they're just like, honestly, I think actually their families are better without them
Starting point is 00:29:28 because they are obviously the way to try to make it. Yeah. They're too, they're not even. No, I agree, and they don't follow through with their pact. So, to that, I call that so- I call that so- I call that so- I call that so-
Starting point is 00:29:41 I call that so- Use your cell phones, but hey, I'm gonna be leaving a bit. I'm just gonna take this thing and make me look dead, but I'm not dead. I don't have a cell phone. I call that so- I call that so- I call that so- Use your cell phones, but hey, I'm gonna be leaving a bit. I'm just gonna take this thing and make me look dead, but I'm not dead. I don't have a cell phone. Like, yeah. Isn't there like, like some nurse made, you can be like, hey, BGDubs, can you just like tell Ramio this because I don't want him freaking out.
Starting point is 00:29:57 But in like, oh, is there a nurse made is the one of the main characters who loads? That's the character I'm gonna be playing. Well, I think the nurse made in Fire talk could have done a better job in like letting people know what's up. Oh, don't get me started on that bowl headed motherfucker. That motherfucker, fire talk, right? Fire, like, fire go fuck yourself. Yeah, fire, you're not black Danner. So you don't belong here. So let's go back to
Starting point is 00:30:21 life. So chef is just doing that thing or he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm just a charming guy. I'm just a charming guy with a, with a trust funded lots of tweet in my closet. Hey, have you ever heard of the documentary about the Vietnam war. Wow, what depth. So, Les is like, well, I have to tell you, I am splurging this week. Okay, I am taking on extra Jesus, okay, because we've done these girls trips for 20 years. And let me tell you something, these three gals are like Taylor's extra moms. And then they show pictures of Leslie and her lady friends. And I was like, I would have,
Starting point is 00:31:07 could we have just had an episode with these ladies just go on somewhere and then Leslie says, oh, we had such a great time at the Wing Jammer. Oh, like, I don't know what the Wing Jammer is, but I really need to know what Leslie was doing there. But that's some all-yea goddess in big trouble with the wine. And by the way, when the waitress comes over, this is my least favorite bravo waiter style as well.
Starting point is 00:31:32 She comes over to the table and she leans on the table with her elbows and just looks chef in the eye. Is that going to get you something? How about you back the fuck off, creep? Okay, we're talking about Jesus and Seatbelts right now. Okay. Big episode for leading. Huge.
Starting point is 00:31:46 And to chance like, the tomato with the sand, the tomato soup with the sandwich, and sound like when you dip, the sandwich in the soup, or if I'm just such a little boy. And the mom's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:31:59 Elbowly, Elbow's on the tainer, Elbow's on the table, waitress. I'm gonna have that, even though it has gluten. I'm doing it. I am doing it. Taylor's on my. My god, you might as well just take off your bra to table. My daughter will also have a bowl of your sunscreen soup.
Starting point is 00:32:16 You don't have that? Is that off menu? So yeah, she talks about her girls trip and he's like, how much did the bottles of wine cost? the wine at the wine pairing thing? And she's like $250 a bottle. We didn't know until we got the bill. I said, oh my gosh, my baby's been kidnapped and we just ran my kale. Yeah, well, we're all fallible.
Starting point is 00:32:40 We're all train wrecks, much like Nixon's foreign policy from 68 to 72 am I right? So he tells us tailors parents are a lot of fun don't believe me Russell could some cell phone footage. Oh my god look here. I am running on a beach with love handles I don't know what that proved but who's on my phone so I don't need a date And then I'd love this this little wrinkly. It's like, oh, they're cool, they're great parents. But they're also pretty faith-based, and I'm a skeptic, a little cynical. So that's definitely a cousin between me and her family.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I'm like, oh gosh, you know, they've had fights over like turkey tables, where there is. Like, Jesus, wasn't real. Now, you take that back, Shepherd. You take that back. Shepherd, would you lead the prayer tonight? Thanksgiving. Jesus wasn't real! Now you take that back, Shepherd. You take that back. Shepherd, would you lead the prayer tonight? Thanksgiving?
Starting point is 00:33:27 Oh, Shepherd, I don't know that I, Shepherd, you can do it. God is for everyone. All right. Rub a dub, dub, thanks for the grub, yeah, God. Hey, the one who smelt a Delta. Hey, God, God, please, if you do anything, I'd be really thankful.
Starting point is 00:33:45 Could you make Taylor? You're so fucking idiot. Cars, oh man. It's a love, he's like, oh, before I forget, I just want to say that one of the best signs of a very healthy relationship, you know, is to show that you can disagree and or, I don't know, how you can throw an egg at someone and break it and you figure out how to get over that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Look at the rage in my smile right now. Is that what you said? I was like, you tell them. You tell them. And I don't know where. Yeah. And chef and the while they're getting red for filth in her own way, they're both sipping their drink at the same time through their straws and tailors wearing little pig tails.
Starting point is 00:34:24 They're like little kids their drink at the same time through their straws and tailors wearing little pig tails Throw like little kids being told by the mom and she goes, yeah, because you know Throwing in egg and then it breaking like you have to figure out how to get over that and he's like, whoa I'm sorry for showing my ass a little high apologize. It's just me poor privilege at bubble shabber It's just me poor privilege at bubble shopper Well as I was telling Colleen and Ellen being humble and being willing to say you might be right and Sam Sorry, that's where you get 50 years of relationship. Shops like 50 years. Oh god. What a fucking idiot. She is I need to get out of this not 50 years Yeah, learning how to say I'm sorry. I'm in gosh, whatever He was well, I did say the gosh part.
Starting point is 00:35:07 And Taylor's like, yeah, because it's really important to push your significant other in the right direction. You're not fucking human resources. Okay. You're not there to balance somebody's tires. No, what the fuck? No, lady. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:21 And I mean, even Leslie says that she goes, well, that's what good counts there's a four. Well, she goes, well, that's what good counselors are for. Well, she goes, the chap is like, it takes me a while to be controlled sometimes. Sometimes I see things I don't mean. And Leslie's like, that's what good counselors are for. Meaning like, that's the counselor's job. It's not your job, Taylor, by the way.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Learn that lesson from your mom. But then Taylor gets this as cheap. Like, see? I knew mom believed in us. Barely. So now we go over to Patricia's house for gentleman dinner tonight and there's the chef chef Perig and he's like the local French chef in town. He's very, very French. And so he's catering the dinner and so he's like he's powering around the kitchen. He's like, he's powdering around the kitchen. He's like, oh, I hit gas gas on it. Oh, oh dog, will you help me? You want to do S.Car, go.
Starting point is 00:36:10 How is anybody believing in this fucking French chef who doesn't believe in gas? I mean, what do you use? Electro, I don't know. Who are your French restaurant runners? I don't like to have them. No, it does not. I don't know. Unless you have't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. No, it does not. It doesn't know.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Unless you have a wit burning fucking stove over there, I don't want to hear it from you, sir. You're destroying my trust in you. Yeah. And then peaches is like wandering around in this like blazing hot kitchen. And I noticed that peaches, Kairan, is no longer peaches Patricia's dog. It's peaches rose little crags. Why? So she comes in. He's like, say, bar. She's like, say, bar, say, bar.
Starting point is 00:36:54 He's like, where are you going to have this? I can't. A ma grave duck. She's like, are we going to have this duck pink or well done? What do you think? Could you do mine a little well done? He's like, well done. What do you think? Could you do mine a little well done? He's like, well done. That would be a first. You'll tacky, tacky, okay. All right, hold on. Let me put my time machine glasses on and pretend you didn't say that before I break him 18th century chair over
Starting point is 00:37:18 your head. Okay, here we are two minutes earlier. Can you make mine a little pinker? We we. We we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we tail feather, but that's okay. It was worth it. So thankfully I went back to Jesus' times and made sure that electric stoves were never invented. So good luck with a hairy cove. This has been a big week for my grid of duck on Bravo. This is the second show in a row where that meal has been, uh, has been, uh, I learned to say it. You know, I'm very proud of making it so long in life and not really learning anything So we may
Starting point is 00:38:09 Or have you learned anything going back and down to educate him? You're just alone on this show because I'm too intelligent to be on a Bravo podcast You know only speak French actually You can only speak French actually. I hear French. I'm like, we, eeeh, le, le, le, the Porsche a trosca.
Starting point is 00:38:27 But you all like the margarita of duck. I love a French accent. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Or she just goes back, okay, the grand of duck is too difficult for people. We're just gonna, we're gonna rename it peace. All right, peace of duck.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Foulibu, peace of duck. Fully blue, piece of duck. So she says, I'm not what I like and I don't want the taste of red duck. I get what I want and that's that. Oh my God. Pages come over here and the chef is like, really, I told him I told P.G.s to be nice. Oh, it's like put in the oven. Too late. I already went back in time and changed her jeans to be far resistant.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Good luck with that, Sheffy. Good luck getting a pizza's flambé. You'll need it later in this episode. So Leva walks to her own girl's night that she's hosting, wearing, listen, don't trust Leva. Okay, it's plainly obvious why at this point, but even if you didn't know any of Leva's antics and shit stirring, she's wearing a hamburger for her. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Don't trust someone who dresses like the hamburger glare on purpose. Now, I like Leva, but I'm not on her side on this episode. I have to say, and we will get to that. So, she comes in in her hamburger, a scarf or whatever it is, and she immediately asks for a lint brush, which was a weird flex as like the owner of the restaurant. It was her way of being like, I'm in charge, I'm gonna make you do a menial task for me, like sourcing a lint brush at a bar lounge. So I have like the guy,
Starting point is 00:40:12 because it's also like busting around an extremely hot model, because that's who Joe is, he's working for, I mean, he's a gorge. And she's like, Joe, I need a lint brush and goes, oh, I'll go to CVS if I have to. I was like, yes, love a flex, flex. Yeah, I like that. So Catherine comes in, she's back to being a redhead.
Starting point is 00:40:32 And then Naomi and Vanita and Olivia and Taylor, they come in and Naomi's sitting right across from Catherine. So Catherine has like Ultra-arm face on because she's uncomfortable, you know? So we're all like, oh, what's going to happen? And it's Catherine so they can't use a typical boom. They just use an arm. So every time Catherine likes it, Naomi. Yeah. And so they were basically Naomi and Catherine was like staring daggers at each other and then love us like, oh, so Naomi hooked up with Whitney. Did you know this? And Catherine's like, arm, I heard something. And love us like, yeah, I mean, so you guys are like,
Starting point is 00:41:09 actually far closer than you think. You guys are like the same fossil. So perhaps this will bond you in some sort of awkward, weird way, right? OK, now you guys talk or yell at each other. Oh my God, you guys are six STDs away from Whitney. Congratulations. Taylor's like, cheers to having never hooked up with Whitney. I mean, I like to fix some things, but I even I have my limits.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Also is Leva being played by Brittany Murphy this week. Arty, love you, party. Yeah, but she seems to have that Brittany and Brittany clueless energy. So Catherine's like, well, I think it's a great catch. And I don't really know what's going on, but just so you know, like it's not weird. He's just such a genuine good old person. There was a thank you for saying that. Yeah, that's right, because I went back in time to make everyone love Whitney. You're welcome, son.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Sorry, even the Herpes goes back in time machines. So one thing we've never been able to explain. So I can't erase that part. So, Katherine's like, he's a genuine, a good guy. And he's like, and he cares about you. He really does. And like you and I had like not had like a great conversation at Thanksgiving because I was in my head about Craig and also trying to figure out who the hell the Grace Jones was
Starting point is 00:42:34 and if I should be mad at her. But I'm sorry if I hurt you with all that shit with Caleb and Olivia's. Yeah. And like, why don't we have parachute, hamps now. It's like planes are crashing more than ever. You know what I mean? And Katz and say, well, I didn't really know what the mode of was with the Caleb thing.
Starting point is 00:42:52 It's like, yeah, well, he made it seem like you were the narcissist and you were the victim. And she says, yeah, well, he admittedly or he adamantly denies saying any of that and he came to me like, wow, I'm so surprised to see how these girls really are. And he came to me like, wow, I'm so surprised to see how these girls really are. And I was in complete denial. But then when he turned, I was like, fuck, everyone was right. Like, it is what it is. You know, sorry, I'm a can of worms.
Starting point is 00:43:21 She's like, no, no, you can talk. No, actually, like, I've got a worm coming out of my brain. Stay, stay. I call them grape jelly worms. It's really good. I haven't been able to keep a dog alive. This is the only pet that just keeps living. So, Catherine's like, I feel like she's being the Naomi I met years ago. And she's being real with me. And that's what confuses me. I feel like, damn it.
Starting point is 00:43:58 I like her. Why does she have to be a bitch? You know, love that. So then over at Pat, what is Whitney showing the waitress or the waiter, whatever, how to do it? How to do stuff? He's like, okay, this is ice. We have a secret room in the wine cooler. So that's where the wine is.
Starting point is 00:44:21 She's like, okay, like she doesn't even bat an eyelash. Okay, just found the secret room. Girl, get out of fucking trash bag and get to put in a shit in there. What are you doing? Yeah, some Patricia's like, has anyone seen the place cards? Ah, I've had from 1631, just a lot of them.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Wait, no, I can't remember what, did my antique place cards disintegrate into dust again when you touch them? I remind me to go back to 1957 and invite Wilma Flintstone. I do regret that she was so upset of a not-comic man to the men's party So it is like well mother. I did find some old place more Well, mother, I did find some old, please, small, for more. For more. Last year.
Starting point is 00:45:05 For one of our dinner parties years ago, and she goes, Whitney, I don't care about whatever anecdote you're about to start up, I found the old ones. Look, they're from Garfield. Each one has a little character. You know, no, you're not normal. I think you're Odie. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Well, I can't do this without my glass. Who do you want to sit next to? He's like, he's on a Lima. Yes, yes, got it in there. Finally got in my Adriano Lima joke. Wow. Well, I'm glad you made a reference to a supermodel from 18 years ago. glad you made a reference to a supermodel from 18 years ago. So last I heard you had a fling with Grace Jones. I don't trust models, the name that the beans. Anyway, who's talking to him these days? And so she's trying to figure out how to set up the table, but she also wants champagne. And so the waitress served champagne and the champagne flute.
Starting point is 00:46:07 And she's like, I prefer champagne and a cube. Don't you? Why, here I am. I've been waiting for you to call you lovely queen of a woman. Not you, Cooper. Have him removed from the premises, Randy. How dare you, you wretched madusa. I shall have my revenge!
Starting point is 00:46:26 Dying the heat of a thousand sons, your monster! All right, go back to the big lots of your work and I have. So, written is like, mom could be exacting. Mom prefers a coupé. But she's either one. She could do what she wants so now they're serving more champagne and the coups and she's handy Whitney when you serve the coup with a little paper towel wait a minute these are paper this butterfly effect is truly come
Starting point is 00:47:00 around to buy me because I certainly had clock cocktail napkins before I went back in time to source these keeps. Who printed my say in on paper? Have them removed from my luck because he's trying to please her by serving paper napkins that say, eat, drink, and remarry, which by the way I misquoted that a couple of weeks ago and I am embarrassed to be alive right now. And I'm going to add another apology to this because hey everybody gather it's apology time come on gather around the fire it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial guys I and I'm sure Ben after knows what I'm about to apologize I don't I'm so excited would really like to sincerely apologize to all of the people who love meatballs in that great jelly shit oh yeah I don't I'm so excited would really like to sincerely apologize to all of the people who love meatballs in that great jelly shit
Starting point is 00:47:48 Oh, yeah, I don't think we've ever said anything that's had this much response from people and recipes sent to us and All y'all insisting that these great Chilli barbecue sauce and ketchup whatever they are meatballs are delicious. I mean you guys love your meatballs I respect you. I mean, you guys love your meatballs. I respect you. I respect your taste. And I apologize, humbly.
Starting point is 00:48:10 I'm willing to try it because there's a recipe. I like to go called ketchup chicken, which sounds terrible. And it's actually one of those divine things ever. So I'm willing to try it, but I have to work through a few other recipes first before I get. I do have my peanuts to glaze, so it'll go in the queue.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Well, I'm thinking of making some quinoa meatballs later and using some of this jelly stuff because Lord knows I have all those ingredients. All right, well, let us know how those are. I mean, quinoa meatballs, how is that? You won't sound good, I promise. They're good, they won't sound good. They're not, yeah. know how those are. I mean, quinoa meatballs, how is that? You don't, they won't sound good. I promise. They're good. They won't sound good. They're not. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Basically, lentils and quinoa. Okay. And some spices instead. Okay. Point and egg. Of course. Um, so the point is we're ignorant. We apologize. Enjoy your meals. We're not up on our group jelly recipes. Our group jelly fusion recipes recipes we apologize. Yeah, so Patricia tells us many years ago I hosted many parties in my apartment in New York I had a French chef and waiters that were trained at Buckingham Palace RIP now I have Whitney
Starting point is 00:49:20 I'll just let that hang there in the air. I'll let that I'll give that one a pregnant pause damage. Not I said, I'm pregnant. So I can't come to your party. I'm pregnant. She's just doing squats out the main. You just see your head popping up on the window. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So there's a knock at the door, and it's such a chef knock. It's like, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. Go, ba ba ba ba ba ba.
Starting point is 00:49:53 Ba ba ba ba ba ba. All those. Yeah, it's like we couldn't even see what it was, but just based on the knock, I immediately knew a chef doing his like, I'm just like, I'm a cute boy. I'm a cute little boy just knocking on a door. So I've got rhythm, I've got music, who could ask for anything more? By the way, that was really Morse code for Taylor and fucking idiot, God damn it, stupid. Sheaith and a haircut.
Starting point is 00:50:18 You broke my glasses, man. I've gone back in time and changed it to 16 bits just to throw off the rhythm of that little dude. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So, yeah, so she's like, what, nah, what, nah, what, nah. And Whitney's like, God damn it, we dress.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Where are you? She's like, I'm in a room. I don't see the door. It's like a room. I told you. I think I stepped on Roy. So, so Patricia has to open up her own door, which is like the first time we've ever seen this happen. And she's like, well, Chef, how elegant are we tonight?
Starting point is 00:51:09 Don't we look good? I'll have a spritzer and later on you can bring me an old-fashioned. Oh, you're not a waiter. I just dress like one. Yeah, he is wearing a waiter's uniform, which is hilarious. So he's like, whoa, I thought maybe I should step up my game. I have to keep Taylor somehow. And by the way, I think this is the point where I have to give Shimonkess special shout out to Patricia's, I think she was wearing a caftan or at least
Starting point is 00:51:38 a cape or whatever it was, but the way it was sort of billowing through the hallways that she walked around was so amazing. I was like, oh, like this is why she wears cap dance just to have these, she could walk down a hallway and it was like fills with air. It's just like perfect. I mean, that's all well and good until you have a play to beans. Like Adriana Lama being. so Whitney's laughing. He's like, we're going for 1950s wrench tonight, bro. Well, thanks for having me. God, I love the 1950s. Hey, should women work?
Starting point is 00:52:23 What gets to that next week? It's funny because I was looking at a bunch of the plus-month cards and I thought of a bunch of the old ones. It was like the coast of Christmas past, like Cameron. Remember her? And then we see a clip of Cameron telling Patricia to squeeze lime into her tequila. And then... To be like the most hideous clip of Cameron to, I guess they show hate's Cameron now, but damn, like Cameron wasn't really bad. I mean, she did some bad things,
Starting point is 00:52:54 but they make her look like such an asshole. I kind of loved it. I thought it was pretty funny. Yeah, and I like the other clip they showed over Thomas Ravin, and I'll hold his Patricia's like, remember when Thomas almost beat Whitney up at the like Rememble and Thomas almost beat Whitney up at the table. And we see Thomas yelling at Whitney for spending his money on his campaign ad.
Starting point is 00:53:10 And we see it in the flashback, Patricia goes, there's gonna be some bitch slapping. So then Craig comes in and Whitney goes, was that our door? She's like, oh, God, we don't have Michael anymore with me. Make more of an effort. Where's your tuxedo, Craig? Oh, well, I don't have one, which is funny, because you would think someone who's in the sewing and garment sort of industry would be able to have a tuxedo. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:53:43 So then, Chef is showing off his coupling. That's a good point. coupling and also he can't put a zipper he can't sew a zipper either. Yeah so chef is he's showing off his coupling to patrushing. Look at my coupling it's struggling silver and also a fly. Wow I'm so impressed with either a $15 cuff link he He has my cuff link. It's an actual house. It actually fits. So, um, Whitney takes Austin's jacket. He's like, hey, welcome Austin and he takes his, he's like, can I take your jacket? So he takes it and then Austin walks off and when he just throws it behind him on the ground. It was like a sitcom, I mean, it's all like this up for you and he just throws it over his shoulder.
Starting point is 00:54:29 I was like, cue the audience. Yeah, it worked. I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, and then Balke walks in. Yeah. So, I love your accent. So now we go back to Leva's restaurant and they're just like chatting and everything. And Catherine's like, I met a dating coach and she was like, oh my gosh, come to my
Starting point is 00:54:55 event. Everyone comes to this address and then everyone gets a key and then you have to find a person with a lot. You find the person that your KM locks and then he's like, um, wait, I think you got invited to a swingers party. That's not speed dating. That's a swingers party. Do not go to that. I have to wear all leather and go to a website called bedroom candy.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I have to wear all leather and go to a website called bedroom candy. So they're all cracking up after him. And then champagne comes and Taylor's the only one not drinking champagne. And someone's like, well, Taylor, champagne's gluten free. It's just no, it's not just drinks for us somewhere teeny. Yeah. So then leaven's like, well, guys, I feel like since the garden party we haven't caught up and like, you know, like, Katherine wasn't at all brass and Vanita, you were in at friend's giving. I mean, it was like, nope. And Leva is like, well, you know, there's a reason you weren't at Thanksgiving because Austin was like, is Vanita just a reporter
Starting point is 00:56:02 for Madison? And like, you know, the thing is that Venita, your thing with Madison is the fact that her friendship and our trust. Oh yeah, this, I mean, this is bullshit here. What's that? This is bullshit, so she's like, what? So okay, Venita's just been left out again, okay? And this is what you, like, how is this helping?
Starting point is 00:56:22 Like, what is this help? So love is like, well, there was an issue with me and Veneta where I mean Veneta knows and Veneta is just like oh fuck, you know Because she knows love us. She's friends with love. She knows what's about to happen So love is like yeah, well Veneta's not gonna say anything so I mean Okay, so this is when Madison and I had it out after the dog party. It was like, must have been fascinating because it wasn't in the show. I know. So, Leva basically told Madison,
Starting point is 00:56:50 it looks like you're not over Austin, and it's like, it's not a good look. And then, of course, and she's like, I was just trying to look out for her. And then, of course, Madison took it as, you're not over Austin. And so then she got mad. And Leva's like, no, I wasn't saying that you're not over
Starting point is 00:57:05 I'm just saying like it's just a bad look and so then afterwards Leva texted Venita to be like oh my God Madison's being ridiculous and then she actually said she's so dumb but then what happened was according to Venita Venita was getting into a car with Madison and they were trying to figure out like music and so she had her phone out and she gave her phone to Madison to shoot the music. And the text came in, and it sounds like Anita does not have her alerts. You know, on the vague setting, so Madison saw it, and then got mad, and then it became a whole thing. And as Leva strangely describes it, it went from a genuine misunderstanding to now it's gaslit into a war, which is not the definition of gaslighting. Which is crazy because Leva does gaslight people all the time, so you would think she'd understand that
Starting point is 00:57:53 term. But Leva is the one, she is the biggest reporter of all of them, to say that that Vanita is being a reporter, Madison. Leva is the one who surged shit up between Catherine and Naomi in the very beginning of the season. Love is going to everyone repeating everyone's business. And by the way, I'm totally fine with that, but don't get mad when someone like some stuff leaks about what you do to someone else. Like, now you know how it feels. Right, because when this argument happened, we see the clip at the wedding at the dog
Starting point is 00:58:22 wedding thing. When Madison's like, Austin, I mean, you can't even say hello to me. I'm just asking I can't even say hello. He's like, oh, It's all mad and love is sitting there listening because she's inserting herself into everything Like she wouldn't have even had that information had she not inserted herself in the first place And I don't necessarily believe Venet as whole. Um, and we're putting on music and then the text just happened to come up I'm sure she was like, oh, well, I heard you got into it with Leva.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Here's the text. She showed her. But that's why wouldn't she? Leva doesn't hold anything in secret to anybody. So I'm with you. I think Leva's full of shit. And, um, and she's, and I think that like, she's also, the self that she's saying to Vanita,
Starting point is 00:59:02 is like, stuff that anyone could say to Leva, because she's like, I just feel like the trust got affected by everybody and you weren't invited to friends giving because how she's affected your trust with the group. I'm like, that is so condescending. No, okay, because Leva, you have, you're the one who has turned so much shit and said stuff. And she's like, I just feel like I'm being really intense
Starting point is 00:59:21 and you're right now and I'm not trying to be him. Vanita's like, yeah, thanks. I'm not gonna say anything because this is a free meal, but honestly, shut the fuck up. Yeah, I'm in a weird place because I'm in the middle, like I like you. I like Madison. She goes, yeah, but I never had a problem with Madison in my life until she affected our trust. No, you had a problem with Madison when you got into her business about Austin and then
Starting point is 00:59:41 called her dumb afterwards. That's the problem. This is all you, lady. Yeah. So now we go back to Patricia's house and the chef is putting Escarco in the oven. He started to lose his mind because he's like, well, you know, they're still not sitting down yet. So I can't see if the dinner is just sitting here on the food, getting the, it was very below deck. It was very below deck. Like it very below deck. It's just getting cold. It's getting cold, you know?
Starting point is 01:00:06 Yeah, and she's like, well, what about this escago? And he's like, well, you know, these are not huge. And she's like, yeah, don't worry everybody. These are small, the small ones, not the large ones. And I'm not saying, I like the big ones. Of course, they're sharp for a good solid. That's what she said. I mean, Craig's like, can I have an old-fashioned, please?
Starting point is 01:00:31 And Patricia says, I like old-fashioned. They're good, but they are strong. That's what she said. I'm pregnant. That's what I said. That's what I said. Did you hear something from the wind? So Patricia starts ringing the bell.
Starting point is 01:00:49 She's like, oh, champagne, champagne, champagne. And she thinks she's so drunk she's going to lie down on the floor. Because she hasn't told the chef they're ready and the chef hasn't told her they're ready. They're both waiting for each other. Right. So they're both getting annoyed with each other. Yeah. So everyone's still drinking and the chef is just so, the almost something we hear one of
Starting point is 01:01:12 our favorite sounds on the show. Craig! Oh, Craig! Can we look? It's just like this big red wine stain right by Craig's thigh. Craig's just like sitting there holding his glass and it's just smelling out of his glass and he's not even moving, you know. Craig!
Starting point is 01:01:32 And should Craig, do you know how much that sofa cost? $45,000. Well, $16,000 and $18,000. But I had to go back in time and adjust some people's perspectives from the Christie's organization. It's just one day of sewing down south. I'm sure you can take it and also say, well, Quang, you know what, you're the same Quang, you've got to call Quang and sing right now.
Starting point is 01:02:03 I thought you were Martha Stewart. And she's like, all right, let me find some club soda. And she's like, oh, you even got droplets on? I'm like, rug, and a straw. It's like everywhere. It's fucking Craig. And he's like the set of Dexter in there. And she's like, that's another $100,000.
Starting point is 01:02:18 And he's like, well, then quit giving me these dumb fucking gums. Look at this. I mean, what kind of cop is it? Like, it's of cop is it? Like, it's a cop with a fight. What does it even do? It's literally not a cop, first and foremost. Second of all, it's like a very standard wine glass.
Starting point is 01:02:36 And he's like, no, because like if it were like a curved wine glass, like with like normal people, it's like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it's curved or not. You shouldn't be holding your glass in a way that it would just really fall out. Like how is you normal? How is he holding his normal curved wine glasses? Yeah. So they start getting it clean and Craig's like, wow, I can't believe I'm like the first person to ever mess up a white couch. She was, oh no, Catherine had a spray tan, the side of the sofa thighs. And they took about an hour and a half to get it all. But we got it off. We just had to zap Randy a few times on the collar and get him to work
Starting point is 01:03:15 harder and while off. Randy's just in the corner with like splotchy, you know, brown spots on his face and frazzled hair that's on fire. Craig is like, I think Greg someone says something like, oh, captain do that on purpose. And Craig sits on Whitney's lap kind of drunk. Oh, that's right. He's like, I didn't do it on purpose. I know, Craig.
Starting point is 01:03:40 I know, Craig. And also like Craig. Craig, you're what the French would call the infant tongue stupid. Oh, ladies and compatant God, yeah, man. And I want to point out that when Craig side up to Whitney to say it wasn't on purpose, he's also leaning because he's like leaning like part of the reason why the wine fella is because he's like leaning over on his elbow on this sofa with the one I mean that is just so so ridiculous. This is like the worst thing I've ever done drunk.
Starting point is 01:04:13 Well aside from maiming myself by trying to stab a hole through my wall with a butter knife. So it's like I'm sorry Miss Pat. It's inexcusable, but I will take care of it tomorrow. I promise that she's well good enough for me Even though I know you won't take care of it, but I at least made you feel bad And she tells us my mother always said you are the company you keep So it looks like I'm a be list fuckboy now be list fuck boy now. So now they, they all like finally get to the table and Patricia's like, now everyone, don't lean back in these chairs please, they're 18th century, I haven't gotten them regaled yet. This is what I call my version of the Squid Games who can sit at the table longest in Rickety Jair. So the Escog goes served and the chefs like I don't know who they got used to it got the idea to eat the snail but I'm sure he was very
Starting point is 01:05:18 hungry. Garsh, I want to make a toast in this pat. You've kept the doors open to us Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and nothing goes, Quig who said a bad word! He was like, uh, so I just broke the chair I'm sitting in. I paid $25,000 for those chairs, Quig. Quig, that goddamn chair is about to collapse on you, it's insane right now. Hmm. And Quig, here's a separate, hold the way down, Quig, goers!
Starting point is 01:06:04 He's like, But it's broken. But then why would you wear pants where the zipper doesn't work? It happened in the car. Like, wait, what? What happened in the car? This is why Uber drivers started putting cameras in that shit. What, why did you unzip yourself in the car? So, then the duck arrives and Austin's like,
Starting point is 01:06:28 so, Miss Pat, what do you think about Whitney and this insane relationship he has with Naomi? Well, I suppose I'm pleased, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Uh, Whitney has women coming and going and I try not to pass to him, but at the same time when he said he saw the place from from Christmas fast, he wouldn't get in. Christmas fast was actually just here. Let's have a run on the bank. It's almost time to go. So Austin's like, he's like, well, we all think that Whitney has a goddamn taste for everything French these days. I personally am more into French Canadian like goddamn Selenian.
Starting point is 01:07:14 All right. Well, no one here's involved in any cocaine scandals in office. So we're going to have to go backwards as far as the drama goes. But does anybody have a serious relationship? It looks like they're gonna end in marriage and creaks like um... Well um, I would be very disavointed in my relationship and... ...and in marriage. And Shep's like, gosh, I think about it every day with some trepidation and fear sometimes
Starting point is 01:07:47 much like many people going off to the Vietnam War. I'm thinking about marriage has really caused a chasm in my brain. How gosh. She goes, well, there's probably some obstacles. Yeah, me. So then we go back to the girls. And now time for some sadness. So Naomi's like, so, um, God,
Starting point is 01:08:11 there's someone being so loud over there. It's like, shepp is here. Like, so he's just talking so loud, home bar, saying, oh, sorry, Taylor, didn't realize you were right here. I listened to this. And Libby goes, is it going like, Taylor? God, I hear that voice at night still. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, He does like hold on pause chef called you an effing idiot
Starting point is 01:08:50 Hold on I got a text is from Madison chef. How do you fucking idiot? Damn, Vinnie the how are you so fast? So Catherine's like arm excuse me and she goes it was fine Who is fine? And Vinnie's like you can't let him talk to you that way fine. He was fine. And even as like, you can't let him talk to you that way. Yeah, but he never puts me down in any kind of way. But once an uplune moon something happens and then everyone just focuses on that. Like he's like a villain or something just because sometimes he acts like that. It's like, yeah, I mean, listen, Gargamel was Gargamel. Like, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 01:09:23 Yeah, like a blue moon. Gargamel would go upamel. Like, what are you gonna do? Yeah, the bill was the one. Like the bill was the one. And the blue moon, Gargamel would go up to the smurfs. Okay, it doesn't mean like he's, like you have to like look into that. Okay, he's got a crazy ass cat, Asriel. And he loves stomping on dams. Protect your mushroom home.
Starting point is 01:09:40 That's all I'm saying. So Catherine's like, yeah, but he's still in that way. For him to gather you like that. What? I'm just sitting there, but I'm at the end of the table. I'm like, there is no excuse for that. And if I saw a lot of that, I would say run for the hills, but since I've only actually seen it once, I'm just gonna say Diabry Room, like, I don't know, ship kinda keeps me on the show, so. Anybody else have an opinion? And Taylor's like,
Starting point is 01:10:08 Tangit, I just have the biggest heart for him. For some reason, God has pulled on my heart right over to ship. Oh my God. God wants you to be in a city-relationship. No, he doesn't. Stop attributing terrible shit to God. That's horrible.
Starting point is 01:10:24 God wants it. No, he doesn't, okay? he doesn't stop attributing terrible shit to God. That's horrible. Yeah. God wants it. No, he doesn't. Okay. He does. It's because it's it's easier to say that God wants it then to look at yourself and realize that there's something in you that's like driving you to be in a relationship that's bad for you and like that's a hard realization and so Naomi is like like oh God, like he is a lucky man to have her like she's an angel. Turns out God is looking up for shape. So Taylor's like, my cup is filled from God. It is overflowing with the juice of a very self-loathing fruit. And it's able to give me love and acceptance to shape.
Starting point is 01:11:02 And he really, really is working on things. Oh my God, your cup is overflowed from God while your fucking trader Joe's bag is overflowed from the makeup that sheps shoves in there because he doesn't want it seen in this bathroom while he cheats on you. Okay. God does not want
Starting point is 01:11:18 this for you. Runger! Rung! Yeah, I mean, so here's a moment where Leva, I think, redeems herself a little bit because she's based like, well, you know, every relationship has work. And like, what are the concessions that you're going to make? Because remembering those concessions, the energy that you're putting into shop is energy that you lose on yourself and you're breaking yourself.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Black and egg. Yes, to fix another person. Yeah. And Taylor's like, well, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but heck, we're here to do it. You know, people see chef as a hardheaded guy, but I want to prove them wrong. My cup overflow with, listen, when you have to use Bible quotes to like justify your boyfriend's behavior, that's some old testament shit. I don't want to hear this anymore out of you. Yeah. I need Taylor's heart to overflow for herself. How about that? So, um, uh, yeah,
Starting point is 01:12:09 like when you can't teach an old dog new tricks, there also comes a point unfortunately where you also have to use an eyes of the dog. So let's think about that. So my dog wouldn't fetch. So why you the eyes did? Well, honestly, if we're talking, you know, like, you know what, at a certain point, things have to be done. So, let me go back to Patricia's house and Greg is listening. Oh, so Greg is listening. Just try, imagine you trying to get through one of those tests they give you when you're
Starting point is 01:12:44 adopting an animal Like what do you do when the animal is eating your clothes? You thomize it. What do you do When the animal Goes to the bathroom in the house you thomize Hey, sir, you've got to stop saying you thomize it. What do you do when your dog needs to go out? How about the shop? What do you do when your dog needs to go out? Kill him. Have a good shot. Have a good advice in metaphor.
Starting point is 01:13:07 You know what? You don't teach old dogs new tricks. You don't let them sit in the corner and they just sit there and they enjoy themselves and you do your thing. Okay. Part of the perks of having an old dog, I feel like, is that you can actually kind of like go out of the house and do things because they're not going to be running around tearing up the place.
Starting point is 01:13:23 They just do their thing. Well, if you're not going to have the patience to teach an old dog new tricks, don't get an old dog. Get a young dog. Okay, and train up. That's so nice. Yeah. Teach a new dog new tricks. Or get a dog that already knows the tricks. Get a trained dog. Okay. Get a dog. Get a dog that's potty trained and can shake hands and like you're good to go. Yes. Then your couple will be overflowing. Okay P's when you have a dog You're terrible when you have a dog that pees outside every day in place fetch
Starting point is 01:13:57 Okay, that is when you're caught for on the thover. Okay, that's when good. That's what God is telling you to serve Get your dog from the Savannah pubump, not from Colle Richards, okay? That's a real lesson. Get yourself a jiggy. Could just be there and be cute and doesn't require a lot of oversight. You can dress it up nicely, but don't get yourself a storm or a bambi
Starting point is 01:14:20 who's just gonna eat chicken off of someone else's plate. For Christ's sake, don't get a Lucy, Lucy apple juice, okay? You're gonna have to fucking tell your friend to take it to Orange County, so no one knows what you did with it. Yeah, for crying out loud. Oh, you know what, you should do get yourself a dog from Dolores, just a dog.
Starting point is 01:14:38 Dolores, Kitsanya, just go from the kitchen to the living room, to the dining room, back to the kitchen to the living room to the dining room back to the kitchen. Dog. So Craig is like, they're back back at Patricia's Craig. It's like, Taylor loves you to death, Shab. And we don't even know why. I'm like, well, we also don't know why you often get any of the ass that you get. So let's be careful, that throwing stones in my kitchen house. Sure, we know why cameras. Definitely literally be like the thing you're going for him.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Oh, and height. Yes, and height. So Craig's like, yeah, like if I ever cheated on a disrespected page, I know that we would not be dating anymore. And I mean, like, Taylor's always gonna forgive you, shout and shout some, shout, shout. Well, the lack of consequences, does that make it harder to keep a straight line? Taylor's always gonna forgive you, Shad. And she'll say, Cursor!
Starting point is 01:15:25 Well, the lack of consequences, does that make it harder to keep a straight line? Like, is it harder to like walk lines with like lines, consequences, lines of content? So I say lines, Kreg, and Kreg, what is that? You spilled enough.
Starting point is 01:15:43 Craig, stop thinking about the things you wanna do after this. Craig, stop thinking about the things you want to do after this. So, so Whitney is like, well, did you, uh, chef, did you, I mean, did you make up your indiscretions? He's, I don't have any indiscretions. I have inefficiencies. Okay. So what is your, like, few, few, not changed?
Starting point is 01:16:03 What are you talking about? Did you take a wrong turn on the way to your hook up? And Whitney's like You have no morals what's it you got and then we hear bloop and it's Vinita He knows from the beta. It's like Craig. have you seen what's in the box? And Patricia's like, if you get married, you have to ostensibly be faithful to the same woman you're entire life. Don't forget that.
Starting point is 01:16:35 I like the chef really helping Patricia. Thanks. Chef's only going to date oxygenarians from now on. Well, I was totally faithful, but she died. So then Craig so then Craig like goes to be excuse. So he goes to the kitchen and also knows something's up. So he's like, oh, does it all mine if I grab Chauncey? It's like, okay. And then Whitney breaks his chair. Oh, not another one. The laser glasses go on. Hold on, I'll fix that one second.
Starting point is 01:17:11 I'm just gonna bring some nails with me to the past. So in the kitchen, Craig is like, so dude, shit's like being blasted on the internet like over all of the gossip blogs. Yeah, there's a headline that says, the headline says, I thought, she'd have had a girlfriend, but like, why is he active on Raya and in Bermuda? Yeah, or at least that's what Greg says. I don't know, is that the headline? It seems very casual for a headline. Yeah, it was, it was Duma. It was a it was like a blind from Duma. And so Craig is saying, yeah, he's got an active profile and he just hit the internet. And also it's like, Oh, the stupidity on the shit. That's me. That's me right now. Yeah, these gossip websites
Starting point is 01:17:59 Taylor reads them. So she's gonna see a host and say, well, we should bring it up to him because it'll be hilarious how it depends if he gets. Well, when we get Craig and Austin back in here, they're having a talking man. When he's like, I think I came back to stupid girlfriends. And we need flambé. Someone ready peaches. on the uh... okay time to sacrifice pictures and chancey to the flambé gods i've had to be just to bring me the remote control and she failed dracar is a bit does anyone know what rand is what i thought it would be fun if we had a stick his hand in the flambé.
Starting point is 01:18:47 So he comes out, he's like, oh, flambé, flambé, flambé, le perso, le perso, how I love to flambé. And the peach is on like a little pot and they light it and peaches just not start on fire. Time machine, time machine. Wow, how awkward that you couldn't get that flambé going. Am I right? Okay, go to the back.
Starting point is 01:19:10 I'm shit faced. So finally they get a guy to flambé it right or flambé it right, but then he blows it out with his, you know, air. It's like, COVID time. I was like, enjoy your monkey pox, everybody. So then, uh, Gryff Flombe born. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Oh my god. Well, everyone, the good news is you got delicious, delicious flambé. The bad news is you got monkey pox. Is that from the macaron? No, and it's not called a macaron. That's the president of France. That was so funny.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Who's Craig's like do you like macarons? And she's like, I like them because they're pretty. And she's like, Macaron's a macaron. Well, because, well, he called them, I think that like Craig called them macarons and then she was like, Macaron's are macarons, but I believe I was waiting for someone to say
Starting point is 01:20:05 aren't isn't it macaron? Isn't it sort of like a... Yeah, that's what she said. Like right. That's what she said. Macrons, the president of France. So then they come do the flambé properly, of course. Enjoy your caramel-using COVID.
Starting point is 01:20:18 And then Whitney's like, I'm gonna do a toast with a dick. I'm gonna get one more game. Oh, if I cry, I'll laugh at my eyes. We'll get one of those dumb girls on real girlfriends and powers for this part. Am I right? Could you please pass the car, LeBronie? No, Craig. That's the...
Starting point is 01:20:43 She's a form of a lady of France Craig you got to get with it. So Craig, so Whitney basically tells him all of the leaves, he's like evening concluded. So Craig's like, well, we're gonna talk to him on the beets over a minute. Which I thought was exciting. I'm like, we're not leaving. We're gonna use this as a set piece for a little while longer. Thanks so drunkies. So they take him out there and he's like, okay, I'm just gonna tell you this shot like Lean hold on let me lean back extremely. Oh, I thought so much is posted your raya Bro, well on the internet Mike your raya location Registers where the last time you downloaded rye was.
Starting point is 01:21:26 So like, it's getting blasted like on rye, like everywhere, saying when you were in Bermuda on rye, you downloaded rye and you're a bad guy because of rye. So we're just gonna tell you this before before Taylor, like y'all's like you and she's like, well, Taylor and I were in a bad place when I was in permute because two years ago I wouldn't say I was single but I was in turmoil with my girlfriend and I said I need some time to figure out what I want so I flew to permute at the next day and try to get asked all over that island which is what you do when you don't know how much you like her girlfriend. And she said well I hope you come to the conclusion you wanna be with me.
Starting point is 01:22:05 Okay, Taylor. So did God tell you to put up with this bullshit of some guy leaving as some fuck other people for a few days while he leaves you crying at home? Come on. And they're like, when did this happen? And it's like, well, this is right after Taylor found the text of me with that girl. So Greg says exactly what I was thinking.
Starting point is 01:22:29 So you were in trouble for stepping out, so you stepped out some more. Does not make sense at all of this logic. Yeah, a guy who's like, well, we were having problems, so then that's why I went and fucked around. Well, guess what? If you're going to be with me, you're going to have a lot of problems. And if you're going to fuck around every time we have a problem, get the fuck out of my house, okay? Part of being with you is having problems. But also it's like, yeah, we were having problems. Like problems that you caused. Yes. You showed that something you sent to tech that you should have sent. And just because you're having problems does not mean then you just go and like start
Starting point is 01:23:08 like flirting with all the girls as retaliation. Like it was so fucked up. And unfortunately, like, I feel so bad for people have to deal with this because before even start watching this, I had some friends over last night. So before even watch Southern Charm, as that's my friend, how's your sister's boyfriend? It's like, oh yeah, good, except for they got into a fight one night and so then he went on to a dating app, started telling me to girls. It's like, damn, and then this happened on Southern Charm, like two hours later.
Starting point is 01:23:34 It's like, that sucks, like this probably happens all the time. Yes, I think so. And so Craig, Craig's like, well, but for her, you like need to like go to your settings and say hi to my Raya profile. He goes, well, I'm not going to do that.
Starting point is 01:23:48 But yeah, but now people think to have a chance with you, but I'm not active on it. Can you admit that, Craig? Can you admit that I'm not active on Raya? Can you admit that? Where are you making it sound like he's coming at you, accusing you of things? It's on the fucking internet with the screenshot, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you somewhere else that Shep's not active monster.com. So Craig is like, is that still a thing? LinkedIn. Okay. Maybe LinkedIn is a better reference. Maybe he's
Starting point is 01:24:21 on monster raya. So, he would be. That would be, they do need to come out with a Monster Raya. Like just for the monster influencers, you need to fuck around. So Craig's like, delete your fucking bro, follow us. I'll work on that tomorrow. I mean, like, the fact that Shep is not willing to do the bear necessity, like, it should be a no-brainer, and it should be like not even an issue. It just shows that he's holding on to something on there, like some chat, some conversation,
Starting point is 01:24:51 something like that's, I think it's like such a red flag that he is so resistant to deleting Raya. Yeah, he's out there trying to get some influencer ass, you know? And so he's like, well, I didn't do anything. Tours out. There's nobody in permuta dot, dot, dot, that would fuck you. Sir, yeah. So then Austin's like, um, I mean, I get it, but like I can only have his back so much before I have to like look out for Taylor, too. You know what I'm saying? She's like my little sister. She's like my little sister. And then we see the He's doing the whole, I don't wanna see, I don't wanna see Taylor yet walked all over, says Austin, the other major walker over
Starting point is 01:25:30 of women on this show. Yeah. And Shep is just like scratching it. He's like, he has a finger in his ear. He's just like digging for your wax. Like he's so like nervous and got, and he's like, I understand. Squeak, squeak, squeak, what happened?
Starting point is 01:25:44 But I appreciate your concern. Everything is fine. And don't take my rapidly shaking knee or my finger lodge all the way up my ear canal to indicate any signs of guilt. Consciously clear, conscientiously clear. And then we see the scenes from next week, which are the like, I don't want Taylor to work.
Starting point is 01:26:05 And Craig being like, Paige, can't you just come with me on this trip and I work, Krang and Austin crying with Taylor? Why is Austin crying? Like to see really like Taylor that much? It's like you can't live with this Taylor, you can't live like this. I don't understand the motivations of the people on this show, but I'm just here
Starting point is 01:26:27 to enjoy them. I cannot, at this point, I can no longer try to parse them out. Oh my gosh. Well, everybody, thank you so much for joining us today for the Southern Chalms. We will be back next week as usual. Winter is crappin'ing is the Game of Thrones podcast. So go subscribe to the hat. We'll do that Monday night is take a seat. Our live show on Spotify Live. I'm gonna be just talking to you guys this week, Ben, it's gonna be at the Emmy Awards.
Starting point is 01:26:56 But that's gonna be fun. Seven PM Pacific time on Spotify Live. And catch all of our other recaps. There's like a zillion of them at the moment. So go play sand, we sure love you guys. Have a great weekend out there. Bye, everyone. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.
Starting point is 01:27:14 Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Saboni, she don't take no baloney. Dana C. Dana Dew. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Dan Yella. Itchels. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle- Sheila. She's a Daniela. Itchels. Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickleess. Alva Nagila Weber. Jamie. She has no less name.
Starting point is 01:27:30 Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Just saying okay. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the piston Anderson. Let's give a Kissarino to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. The Bay Area Betches. Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Always the wiser is Allison Weisler.
Starting point is 01:27:57 Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Better do what she says. It's Elva and Rikas. Can't have a meal without the Emily signs. Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, it's Jennifer Corkarene. We will, we will, Joanna Rockland, you. My favorite Murto, Karen McMurdo.
Starting point is 01:28:19 Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Nancy C. C. Centicisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Paging Paige Mills, Paging Paige Mills. Choose the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.
Starting point is 01:28:39 Shannon, out of account in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar! We love you guys! before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.