Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Madison at a Hatter

Episode Date: August 2, 2019

Southern Charm ends its trip to Colorado with a fight between Austin and Madison. We don't wanna spoil too much in the description, but there's a leak. Enjoy! To hear this week's premium bonus about Andy's Watch What Happens Live Titus problem, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! Free shipping on orders of $45 or more! **Crappens Live is coming to Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yes we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto. We love you guys. Happy it's my best son and happy it's a good friend. Oh, but these are all my friends. Okay, it's my best son and happy it's my best son and happy it's a good friend. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on e-op raps. I'm Ronny Karram, as usual you can also find me over on the Rose Prax Bachelor Rost. And I'm here with my co-host and little friend Mr. Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares

of Kitchen Ireland. Hi Ben. Hi, how's it going? Good, what's going on with you? Oh you know just making my way through life, coasting on the high that was this week's Southern Charm, I thought it was the best episode of the season, how about that? How about that? How about that? Well Everybody listen up these are our live show events coming up for the rest of

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channel where people can go gather and talk about all sorts of different Bravo things. And we're both on Cameo. So if you want some Cameo's for someone's birthday, just find us on Cameo, okay? Yeah. Also, here are the cities we are coming to for the rest of 2019. You ready? Here are the cities we are coming to for the rest of 2019. You ready? Yeah, Charlotte Nashville Atlanta Carborrow Richmond Fort Lauderdale in Deanapolis Chicago New York New York St. Louis, Missouri Philadelphia and Seattle Washington in a couple of those places you'll notice that we're doing two shows right in a row And just to answer everyone's questions. Yes, they are always different shows. We never do the same show And just to answer everyone's questions, yes, they are always different shows. We never do the same show Twice. Oh, we cannot make the same joke a second time. It is too difficult for us. Oh

Yes, we're not good with written material, okay? Just made it making it up as go long. I yeah, so go get your tickets at watch at crappens.com Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting us in this video. And now we're on to Southern Chong. Whoa, such a good episode. I loved it. I was so into it. I have so many opinions. Well, good. I can't wait to hear him.

It was a fun episode and really a nice return for kind of a villain. We've needed a villain on the show. And I'm really liking Madison. So I like when I can like the villain. Yeah but I'm not so sure that I feel like she's the villain to be honest. I actually am like feeling that I'm really on her side. It's funny because someone last night commented on one of our social media spaces like oh Madison you know I can't stand her. She's trying to change Austin and that's not what someone should do.

And I was like, hmm, I'm watching this. I'm not getting that vibe. I actually am not getting the vibe that she's trying to change him, but we get to that. Of course, she should change her man. What are you gonna find somebody like Austin and they're just keeping me as is? No, okay?

You are not good enough and you need to be changed. Yeah. Hopefully a good relationship can do that for you. Are you gonna walk, are you gonna walk into a house that you're gonna buy and there's paint coming off the walls and the pipes are leaking, the roof is leaking and you're just gonna say, I'm not gonna change it.

No, you're gonna buy that house, you're gonna make it your house, you're gonna make it much better than it was before. And then when you sell it, it'll be worth more money. You know, and that's the thing is that, you know, Austin is basically Robins flip from patomic and i don't think he realizes it i think he thinks that he is uh... like a jeff louis flip but he's a robin flip and the thing is that

uh... she's not saying flip he's a house hunters you know he's like a really shitty house hunters house he's like torrick and what's it christina okay like that's what he is flipper flops the cost yeah no but the thing is this and what's her Christina? Okay, like that's what he is. Flipper Flops. I'm seeing all the coast. Yeah, no, but the thing is this, she's not saying I want to change you. She's saying I have standards, okay?

My scene words. So if you're gonna hang with me, you gotta change your shit. Otherwise, you're not hanging with me. And that's different from saying, sorry everyone, my phone just went crazy. That was me, it was not any of your phone, stop checking your phones.

But that's her way of saying, you don't have to change, but you know, just know you're not gonna be with me. And that's different from saying, you have to change, saying, okay, I'm gonna be with you, but you have to change. That's a very different distinction. And I think that she's right, okay?

That's what I'm saying. Okay, but I mean, you know, she's right on that. And the villains of the show were the dudes obviously, but This season at least until Ashley finds a way back in but you know Just saying like you have chlamydia. That's not cool, you know, that was a shit thing to do But we'll get there and We'll get there. I know in four hours from now on the recap. We will get there and have lots of lots of heated thoughts lots of leaky thoughts. Lots of, we have a lot of urgent burning sensations about this topic. It's chlamydia, the one

that makes you leak. I don't remember what chlamydia does to be honest. Between chlamydia and gonorrhea, you know, I think there's just like stinging and my, so my friend in sleepway camp, her name was Annie Winkels. She did not have Climedia in the chase. That's not a nice class day. Go say your name. No, no, no, this is, no, she didn't have it. I'm saying she had to come up with a song and for a class project and all I remember, she would sing it all the time.

She goes, Climedia, disease or infection, infection. And that would go from there. And that's just like whenever I hear of Climidia, I just hear Annie Winkels saying that. Fun, other fun story I asked Annie Winkels out on a date. And she said, no, I know, she's a lesbian. So there you go, and I'm gay. So you know what, so much is tied back to camp, isn't it? Yeah, and your life is serious.

I wish I could be there to see some of these camps. Yeah, she was the same person. Remember a few episodes ago, I was talking about the chicken dance or whatever the thing is from Buffett the Vampire Slayer. Yeah. A funky is your chicken. She was the one who'd also sing that too. So I mean, I really learned so much from Annie Winkels.

Yeah, the real winner of this recap is Annie Winkels. She makes it okay. Because you know what? She is. She is. And then you know it was more after Edelsteg. There's one last Annie Winkles thing. Wow, for fuck's sake. Two thick goals.

What are you doing to me, Annie Winkles, okay? So last recap of the week, Annie Winkles. No, because now we're talking Annie Winkles. Okay, this is important. Okay, Annie Winkles. She went to school with Catherine Heigle and said that she was like, Catherine Heigle, what a match. This was back in like 94, okay, this is important. Okay, anyway, girls, she went to school with Catherine Heigel and said that she was like, Catherine Heigel, what a match. This was back in like 94, okay.

Second of all, I'm sorry to blow up your spot, anyone girls on that front. And second of all, so I had not seen anyone girls since 1994, and I was at LA Fitness, I had here in LA, and I heard someone say, hey Anne, and for some reason I like, I turned around and I was like, Anne, and I turned around. It was Annie Winkels.

She's back. She looks here in LA and she's an actress. So there. She's back and she's more formal now because now she's my aunt. That's how I know she's a lesbian now. So see this is the story of Annie Winkels. She's lovely. Well, you just put so many ladies named Anne into an existential crisis right now. By the way. No, she told me she was a lesbian.

She told me. She said, I'll have a wife. No, you, oh, oh, oh. I said she changed her name to Anne and that's how you knew she was a lesbian. No, no, no. It wasn't like I was like, oh, look at that. Drop the Annie part of any Winkels. Well, lesbian lesbian lesbian short names

that's lesbian's with the lazy names saying no i love her she's so sweet and she would like to show us great even even though she rejected me she was a great fun anyway southern charm yeah so southern charm a hey so uh... anyway don't worry about climidy a much like shabby maybe dirty but it's uh... you know it, it's easy to it's temporary. Yes, you know, you can get rid of it. Okay, so we are still in Colorado in steam, but Colorado having the most lukewarm trip I've ever seen in my life

Honestly, if I was on this trip with my friends, I probably would break up with all of my friends because it was like As a trip so don't everyone's sleeping and don is the first one up don the fake Southern of from New Jersey He's like Yeah, stop walking around like that giant rooster from the fucking I am hockey. Yeah yeah whatever what's that um uh that big rooster he was friends with the little chicken the little chickety who always thought the sky was falling I say I say I say oh my god I'm blanking oh my god we gotta we gotta

please sir you from New agency please cut it out We should also say technically he was not the first one awake Technically Craig woke up first because he was long and bad and we heard his alarm grow Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So he goes through every room because Eliza has completely disappeared and he can't find her and he goes into the kitchen And it is a typical Southern Charmed-Dude kitchen. There's just beers everywhere and it looks like it's been knocked down Mm-hmm. Yeah, so he's like looking around urgently for Eliza as if like maybe she like had wandered off gone girl style or something So so finally he like wasn't enough to smart enough to Gone Girl it. She would just, she would just like, put a hammer to her face and then just like,

go to the hospital. So it's like the most boring book ever. And Gone Girl gets away with nothing. She like, she like, Gone Girl tries to do all that stuff and no one actually jesus after her. Everyone's like,'s like oh she lies a do little I mean lies a lot of mass won't missing oh well anyway Yeah anyway Don girl don't hey don where's your girl don't girl don't girl like no one cares

They're like let's not make this into a book or a movie. How about that? That's the key gums in the story He sees Austin in the uh... he walks into Austin's room basically. He's just like he's looking around he's like lasso, lasso, lasso! And then he just walks into Austin's room and Austin and Madison are just like under their comforter and like fully asleep and sort of naked and Don's like oh that's a pleasant surprise. At least you woke up with her and you're bed.

Liza wasn't in mine, but y'all are together, so that's nice. And I was like, oh, could you please leave this for a second? Really, really annoying. Could you get out of here? Look, dude. Don's like guy, he walks in on you having sex and doesn't go, oh my god! And like, turn away, and leave. He just stands there talking about his day. talking to you guys like you're having fun

Yeah, it's like what do you want the breakfast? Chicken eyes and Madison's like we gotta get up so when the kitchen Eliza's there She's like hello Eliza's kind of in this dopey mode lately. You're not like it. I guess she's just being herself lately And so she's there so I can's like, you shouldn't just get up without telling me where you going, little miss. I'm a man, you're a lady. What could happen to you? It's being bad, sinner. I know. What are you talking about, Don? She shouldn't be telling you. Where could she have gone? Do you think that she like went wandering off into the snow? Why would

you think that? Is this an ongoing issue with her that like you wake up and sometimes she's just like Disappeared like Tom Cruise to Kelly McGillis and Top Gun Anyway, so Just disappears a lot. I feel like that's probably a character arc for Eliza. She's just always gone. You're like where is she? So she's like I had to go to the next door because our hot water wouldn't work and what the fuck your hot water isn't working What kind of vacation is this, okay? It's about enough. They're putting you all on a bus. I Know this is very much like an early season vacation, right? Like the sort of vacation you're supposed to take in the beginning of the season to kickstart the drama not the

Late season vacation, which is to somewhere far far far-flying and exotic Yeah late season vacation, which is to somewhere far far long and exotic. Yeah. So Chelsea comes behind during Goose's or in there's just like shit every there's like shit food everywhere and Madison who works out twice a day is like ill when she's totally grossed out. And don't like good to see you two back together mad as soon. Like he's already a member of this cast just giving away everybody shit. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we also, what was interesting is we saw a flashback to last night and we see Chef and

Austin holding a smoking joint. We don't actually see them in the hail, but I was like, surprisingly, that's kind of bold for a Bravo reality show to actually see a joint. That's on fire. I was like, scandalous 2019. Druggadogalies! Skispotting. Yeah, so Craig is like, hi, Chelsea.

His ship's still on the floor. And then we get another flashback to ship last night just being totally stolen and being like, tiny nipples. Oh my nipples aren't fat. I mean like pulls up his shirt so we could verify that his nipples are not in fact fat but still a blast. They're really gross. Yeah they're really gross. So Craig's like we should wake him up. And Austin's like you don't want to poke the bear. So to speak. Craig's like, yeah, well, you know what? I think Stone Chef is a less angry chef. So that's good. And then we get a shot of chef just like sitting there

with his eyes half closed with Dorido chewing with his mouth open and Dorido's falling. Yeah, I was like, I was, I've never been so jealous of chef at that moment. I was like, I want to, so jealous of shit at that moment. I was like, I want a mouthful of Doritos. I felt like it was the perfect descriptor shot of how every man eats on this show. It was. Sitting there with chips falling out of their mouth, stoned off whatever. Yeah, there's only like a 20% net amount of food that actually gets from their mouth into the stomach. The rest just comes in and just is out again

Immediately, you know, it's like a baleen whale, right? Like there's sort of things just sifting through the baleen and like maybe get some plankton in there Yeah, that's why this cast can eat so much, but never gained weight it never gets to it's like the it's like a a I'm trying to say a physical version, but it's an actual worked on version of Ally. Remember that pill that blocked all the fat from going to your system and people were like, my body exploded. I don't actually. It's like that, but not a pill.

Nothing goes into it. That pill was called Ally. Yeah. That is so fucked up. I don't know why. I think the idea of naming a pill Ally is crazy. It's like my little friend, Kate and Ally. We're just kept eating and then having to run to the bathroom.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. So they finally, uh, Chef is in his room, you know, he's not on the table, but Chef is, I guess, getting reaching for something on the ground probably his phone or whatever. And it's just Chef Buck crack. Yeah. And the, they's so rude the music is like this lovely twinkly rise and shine music like like seizing the day music

gosh and just it's just like pasty long cavernous crack yeah a long cavernous crack I think that's a perfect one. It's like that sequence towards the end of 2001 Space Odyssey, when it's 20 minutes of watching light coming at you with a darker business center. That's what it looked like. I was like, I'm looking to Stanley Kubrick's vision of the future. It ships ass! It's weird because it made me both want to work out, but it also made me want a binge It's weird. It's like two different emotions going through me. It won't do both you can do both and guess what one

Binging so fun show. Yeah, you're a jerk. So Cameron comes down with her suitcase and shit. Okay. Well, you know what when I came on this trip I picked myself Lantern Ramp and Lanstereers Well, snowed heaven champion because what I'm a mother, I can't do that. I just want to see the little face of my baby. I was like, that's not just a mother. That's a new mother. Okay. Because when you're like a mother who's been a mother for a long time and look, am I a mother? No, I'm a man. Right. But I understand what mother is like being a practice to mother because I have one. And once you've had a baby for a while

It's like get me the fuck out of here Also, by the way, it's like God, that's so annoying. That is so annoying. Oh, well, I have to because I miss my baby Okay, so like Ronnie said, I am also not a mother I mean, I have been growing some succulents, which I think is pretty close But I'm not officially a mother and so I will never truly know what it's like to be apart from my baby. I will never really know what it's, I mean, well, I do know what it's like to be apart from the Nintendo Switch, so that is also feels like that too. But the thing is this, like,

so we don't truly know. But what I do know is I have some, I have some mother friends, and there are some mother friends who are like, oh I have to cut this short, I have to see my baby, oh every baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, and I've got some who are just like, oh my god it's so nice to drink some wine right now. And they're both, and they're, and a lot of them are all first time mothers. The point is this, you can control your destiny, okay, I think it's great. Take care, mother it is great, It's wonderful. It's a miracle

It's a it's a it's a thing, but it's a but it's also like you also don't have to be ridiculous about it Cameron And also let's not forget to read between the lines here Ronnie, which is this is not Cameron saying oh I just miss my baby so much. I have to go back early It's Jason saying what the fuck do I do with this child? How do I, like, where's the off button? How do I use this? Yeah, I'm just saying for mom accidentally put the baby in the toaster, okay? Get back home.

But I think it's also just hanging out with this cast, you know? I mean, everyone's like, whoa, we're one, and this is nuts. I'm just going crazy, and I think it's somewhat, look, I don't have a baby, so I have to be honest and just say, listen, I don't want to act like this anymore. I'm too exhausted for you losers. I'm going to go home and watch Netflix.

That's better than being friends with you. Buy idiots. And then you lose all your friends and everybody wants to talk to you again, but at least you're not having to fake it on trips. Yeah, I just make me mad. I can't remember. I can't remember. It's just a mad and you're leaving early okay Cameron again

So she's leaving and Whitney is high telling it out of there too because he's not gonna be attacked by these young ins While they're accusing him of such horrible things as having sex with the hot young person It also turns out that Reed Nobs t-shirt does not protect you from the harsh Colorado weather, so he needs to go back to warmer weather. Warmak climbs. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, Craig is, well, Craig is mad because he's basically like, it's infuriating that Whitney is leaving because he's embarrassed that he had sex with Catherine because it doesn't fit into his vein

Outlook into himself Whoa that was pretty cool had a good thought It's a I like when Craig retains decent charge of everything to he's like it almost makes me not want to invite him to these things Yeah, that's your boss makes me not want to invite him to these things. Yeah, that's your boss. And the person who's just so cracked with, okay. So me and well, Madison and Austin are also chatting in the kitchen about,

they were cuddling this morning. And Madison was like, shirtless. She wasn't fully new, but her top was on, and then she starts talking about how her mom always said, it's always good to sleep in the nude keep it spicy it'll take three minutes and chef is just like oh he's be sick watch them talk they're just something awful about the two of them which I appreciated the honesty of that moment oh he's so gross so he's like he don't she goes he'll only take three minutes everyone's got

three minutes and I's got three minutes. And I was like, this is the most romantic scene that's ever been on the Southern chart. So Craig goes next door to walk Madison over to use the rest of it to take a shower or whatever they're doing. And he's walking out there completely cyclist in the ice.

I mean, fucking Craig does. He filmed nothing ever. He stabbed himself with a butter knife. He's now just walking sockless through ice. What's going on with Craig? Well, I was gonna make myself some socks But I forgot what socks look like I tried but I keep dripping cuz they're pillow socks Because all he says they're just pillowcases. It's basically just a cinched pillowcase Because it's all he says. They're just pillowcases.

It's basically just a cinched pillowcase before he goes on it. So everyone's getting ready for the day and Catherine slads in and pink her pink outfit for the day and her pink heart sunglasses. Okay, so they're going to the hot street. This is, I'm sorry guys, this is Southern Charm trip. So you start writing down something and it's like, and I didn't need to write that down And I didn't need to write that down Same, I was like, Catherine did a big jacket

So they go to the hot springs and I don't know if you noticed this Ronnie, I feel like you may have noticed this Because sometimes we have a big brain So when they arrived, they were getting out of the cars, did you notice this part when they got out of the cars? Yeah, Austin trying to like were getting out of the cars. Did you notice this part when they got out of the cars? Yeah, Austin trying to like squeeze the middle of the front seat. Me too. Austin squeezing his way out of him like the way back of the SUV and his mouth is like fully austening.

It was like this is what it looked like to give birth to Austin. He was just like, it was like, I'm so glad this show's not in 3D right now. Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. It's just way more. Watching him squeeze through a small crevice to get out. And SEP is very SEP in the SEP episode. SEP is very SEP in the SEP episode.

So he goes, he goes up to the window with the hot springs. He's like, or, I don't have a bathing suit. Do you have a loner band or I mean that's gross not only you know for you but for whoever has to put that shit on next I know I know and I mean honestly I can understand how certain things might happen to certain be contracted from certain people from other people.

Yeah, I'm bathing suits. Yeah, Danny's like, I didn't even have sex with him. I just went to the hot springs with him and tried on a random bathing suit. I just tried on his bathing suit one day to see what would be black. Next thing you know, itchy scratchy. So now we get to talk about Shep Snipples again. Oh no, because Madison's telling Craig, you have nice nipples, they're so cute.

And Shep's like, oh yeah, I'm about to get this dad bod in here. And he's doing that thing that little kids do. Whenever there's a hot tub, jump out of the hot tub, jump out of the cold water, jump out of the hot tub, jump out of the cold water. Yeah, because he's like, I want to go on the cold side. It's good for your body. So then he gets into the cold water yeah hot tub jump under the cold water yeah cuz he's like I want to go on the cold side it's good for your bodies then he you know, be like this around our friends, but it would be great if it was like this in real life. And she's like, well, according to your friends, we thought

of the time. Like, it's good right now, but then we go back to Charleston and then what and then what and then what. Yeah. So then he starts, Austin starts piling on the bullshit and he's like, waka, waka, waka. It's very clear that I have so many feelings for you and like I don't want to see you with anyone else But me and the two girls want me to bring to your bed. Okay, that's all I was just trying to keep the the bed warm. God you're insane right now. You're the same person insane Well, I'm not gonna be sitting at home making dinner and then you like show up at the Living the clock. It's about compromising with the other person and that's why we're not together Yeah, and she basis like you know it if you want to keep sleeping with all of Charleston the whole town

Then you can keep doing that. He's like okay. Yeah, okay. I'll do that. That's fine. That's a good compromise for me No, that was facetious You're supposed to I a wanna be that. And he tells us, um, you know, like Madison, I know what she wants. I just can't do that right now. You know, she's the single mother and, uh, I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a stepdad, you know, because I can barely take care of them. Stop fucking. Yeah. Going after Madison, you fucking jackass.

I hate that Austin acts like he's just the innocent bystander and all of this Just stop. Yeah, I mean that to me was the real crux of the issues that he's not ready to be a stepfather And so he's probably he'd like sir But he's probably self-sabotaging because he ultimately doesn't want to be a stepfather I'm like that's fine. You don't have to be a stepfather I actually respect that but you know what though What I don't respect is that you saying you don't want to be a stepfather and at the same time telling her it is very clear that I have so many feelings for you and I don't want to see with anyone else about me.

You can't do that Austin, it's one or the other, you are giving mixed messages, sir. And that's why when she's saying things like, I'm not just going to like, you know, like you say this stuff and I'm just going to be like cooking food and then you just come in to 11 when the food is cold and I put in this effort and I got a kid to deal with etc Like I have like real shit. I gotta do so like if you're gonna be with me You gotta like you gotta adapt to my lifestyle here, okay? You're gonna totally totally Reasonable thing for her to say in this situation. Yeah, of course and then she's like well

I mean you like I'm not expecting you to change everything over another thing But if ship is gonna be your role model and then we cut to chef who's flashing Chelsea. He's like splash and she's like, fuck you ship. Stop. Stop splashing me ship. Alright, and he's like, okay, she's like, please stop acting like a 10-year-old. And he's like, never. By the way, she's also wearing the giant babushka like for hat in the hot springs, which I Would not have done could have gotten wet

Um, and so Austin's like they're not my he's not my role model. Okay, that's insane. You're insane purchase Saying that he's like my running mate. Okay, we're like running for office President of Traphop, okay, they're my running mates. I mean actually chef and Austin running for office president of trot pop okay they're my running dates actually shep and austin running for office i think that they could win you know i watch all the debates i watch the democratic debates i watch the republican debates just so i can be in a foreign citizen let me tell you if two people got up there and said listen america i want everything paid for and my parents are going to pay for it

i think we don't vote for that person. You know, a few years ago I would have said yes, because a few years ago I think if you go back, you could probably hear me on this podcast saying, you know, in a weird way, I would vote for Thomas Rabinel. He's already been to jail, I'll say whatever comes to his mind. And I've learned that sometimes, it's dangerous to ask what you, you know, be careful you wish for when it comes to politics.

That's what we're learning. That's what we're learning. Somebody else's parents paying for everything in the country sounds good to me. All right. So, this country is about mediocre beers for free. All right, everybody. Stop off of everyone.

Yeah. This is what would happen. If Austin and Shep ran for office, drinking age would be reduced down to 16. There would be increased welfare benefits for white men in their late 20s. You still don't have a job. And free tickets to Vale,

like subsidized government tickets to Vale and Aspen. Yeah. Actually, that sounds pretty wonderful. I told you. You won me over. I'm and aespin. Yeah, actually that sounds pretty wonderful. So, you won me over. I'm starting a political wave. So Austin, this basically ends with Austin being like, but Madison, I just want you to know, like, I care about you, it's like, that's not next stupid, I'm getting out.

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah So she gets out and then Austin's like furious and Austin's such a fucking drama queen, you know Yeah, he has a serious conversation and then immediately runs to people that he knows Don't you know are they running there so that he can give them yeah, so he can give them more ad more fuel to their fire or whatever So he runs over to Craig and he's like, oh my god, like she's putting it all on me. Like, you need to change. Like, you need to do all the changing. Like, that's not what she was saying. And this is actually bullshit because she

wasn't saying that. It's she's saying something that sounds like that, but it's actually very different. And so it's actually bullshit because he now goes tell us his friends that she's always saying you have to change you have to change so then the friends get mad at her because I think it's she's totally unreasonable so in a sense really all the anger that that chef is feeling really should be directed towards Austin and not towards Madison and maybe he realizes that now but probably not. No, probably not. Yeah, because he's still anti-Madison so they and, and Craig's like, yeah, she runs you like, we all know it.

She eats guys alive! Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do simple request and was like, yeah, if you're being a relationship with me, then like, this is what I need in a relationship. And if you're not going to give it to me, then I'll get it from someone else, you know? That's like not that's not called being a man eater. It's called literally like eating with a man. And then paying for it. So Austin's like, I'm like, I don't even care anymore. Like spits just flying like angry Austin. He's like, I'm like, I don't even care anymore. Like, I'm spits just flying like angry Austin. He's like, oh, the hot springs, water level's just slowly rising as his spit lands in it. Yeah.

So then they pack up in the cars to go home and Craig gets in and he's like, I'm so fucking hungry in Madison's like, I'm so fucking mad. And Chelsea's cracking up, you know, and then Austin gets in the car and it's awkward. And then we get a moment with Craig. Guys, let's see what does Craig want out of this trip. What's really important is what the fuck is Craig thinking right now guys? Yeah, so let's go in there. So they're just looking out the window all awkwardly and Craig's like, I wanted to see an elk, a remuse.

And Austin goes, yeah, they also have puma's out here. And Craig goes, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You should stay away from plumas and bears and any ferocious cat really. I was like okay bears are not cats, but that's okay Um, you should stay away from falling trees. They're the most ferocious of all cats Guns to dangerous ferocious cat the most dangerous f Rocious Cat there is. Some people are allergic to cabbage so for those people they should stay away from cabbage cats the most for Rocious cats of all. But when he says any for Rocious Cat really he looks at Madison and she just looks at him. I love when Madison just gets those dead eyes yeah and she just looks back at him like I'm not gonna give you a reaction except a dead-eyed look but you're gonna fucking die in your sleep Craig. I just interpreted her reaction to as bears aren't cats you stupid fuck yeah I'm not even gonna say

anything I'll let America fight for you that went out for itself. Yeah well Madison gives those blank eyes so you can put whatever you want to whatever the anything you want to She's a worse She's a Russian ink block. She's blood eyes. Oh, I see a vagina and a ferocious cat And a bear cat so they get back and they start packing up all their stuff and Eliza's just crashed out on the couch Yeah, and packing up all their stuff and Eliza's just crashed out on the couch. Yeah. And Don is getting antsy. He's like, I feel like I've been sitting here for hours. I'll say I'll say I'll say. Yeah, he's like, I'm going to fall asleep. I've been sitting here forever and Chelsea goes, that's how stuff goes to this group. Unfortunately, stuff

that should take 10 minutes, takes hours. We're already in Maine down Eliza. Eliza's just like, sort of like my sands is a sense that should take only about a few seconds to say, it goes on for a really long time with me. When I talk and you wait for the end of the Santons which is not now But it will be Soon and here it is So Madison's just texting on the couch and Craig's on the other couch texting and Austin comes to check on everybody But then he goes to Catherine's room and he's like um hello Oh, I just wanted to tell you that your wardrobe is, uh, spectacular as always.

So start that on the positive note. Okay. Cause I think it's talked to you last night. Right. The way hugs her. Did you see how he hugged her? He hugged her with his mouth kept moving. He was like,

he was gonna get mouth hug. Math like to you. So he's like, yeah, I didn't get to talk to you. She goes, I'm half the weed stuff. And he's like, yeah, you know, I just wanted to convey to you that I understand. And look, I'm like, I'm like, sorry, I didn't bring that. Like, I don't even know what else to say. So I'll just stop my mouth keep doing it. She's like, um, is it me or does it smell like two car seats in here?

Almost like you just scraped yourself alongside them. I've just got to read Oh in my eye and I didn't either to read. So, uh, yeah, so basically she's like, um, I didn't want to have your night ruin by me being upset. I just are to remember how everyone talked about me and treated me badly because I was smoking weed and arm why is your mouth moving when I'm talking are you talking are my talking right now I can't tell he's like don't worry it's in Japanese so yeah and to this I say I agree with you you know what Whitney said those years ago was so fucking shitty and then so

why did you hook up with Whitney again? You know that's my question like it's not like it was that long ago it was two years ago He was instrumental in getting your kids taken away, you know She also took a time to drive an L. She has a type Oh god, so she talks about how weird it is that weed is legal and you know in some places it can get your kid taken away Which is weird this country needs to get caught up with each other. The States. This is true.

Well if Austin and Shep are president I'm sure we'll fix that too. Yeah, instead of cheese lines they'll just have like gummy bear lines or whatever. So then we get to everybody it's trying to get on the road right. So Shep comes in and he's like let's get on the road cars. And Madison's like, Shep, I was looking for you. He goes, oh, well, I've just been sitting next door with my finger up my ass. So, he's like, yeah, she's like, can you make me wear? It's true. You know, we've been in with Shep. It's very, very true, because we've seen the ass and we see this room. So she's like, can you make me laugh on the press? And so he's like, why is it about Austin? You thought you were going to fall back into each other's arms and ride off into the sunset?

Sort of like Craig and his sewing garbage cranks. And she's like, wouldn't that have been nice? And he's like, no, that wouldn't have been nice and then the music goes You know when they give that little ribbit. We've been foolish for both of you Well, I think it's out that you're opinion wise how heavenly our modern relationship because it didn't matter to me And he goes it doesn't wait heavily and Craig's like yeah, he doesn't listen to us She's what do you mean? He's like yeah, he doesn't listen to us. She's, what do you mean? He's like, yeah, he doesn't even talk to us about it.

And she's like, yeah, I don't even know who he talks to about it, because he doesn't talk to anybody about his relationship with you. And it's like, yeah, he doesn't talk to us. And the guys, we have you on camera the entire first half of the season trying to get him to break up with the baddest. Yeah, seriously. And Matt's like, you guys don't even give a fuck about what awesome feels. Okay, if he said to you, I need to like, stay in and try to make it work with Madison. You guys will be like, fuck her, come out with us. And they're like, what?

What? What? What? Which, again, like you said, let's look at the first half of the season, because that's like what every scene was. I know, she's like, you just said just say come at us and bang about your bitches Yeah, and he's like you think that I need Austin to go out with it night That's absurd. Do you know much beer falls out of his mouth when he tries to drink it? I don't need that You just don't want him to have fun without you girls and say that is bullshit I still want him to have fun without you, Gars. I said, that is bullshit. And he's like, okay, so you don't argue about him,

going out and having fun without you. Which, again, is not really the point. It's that he's out having fun and then expecting everything to be done when he comes home. Yeah, like he's about to hear her just to be waiting there for her, for him, right? Which is not reasonable. And it's also like bullshit if she makes dinner

and then like, or that if she makes dinner and then like, or that if she calls him and be like, hey, what are you up to? And he's like, I can't talk right now. Because I'm with my boys that like she's like the bad guy. She's like the, you know, like the needy one. Like that's bullshit, right? So she's like, she's, so then she's like, no,

it's not about that. It's that he can't basically make up his mind about what he wants. Case in point, the hot spring scene when he says, I wanna be with you and then tells us, I'm not ready to be a stepdad. So he cannot make up his mind. Yeah, so steps like, first much is you in Austin,

are you, you're not very good at it. Oh my God. And he's, you know, he's pissed because his foot's like tapping really fast while it's crossed. It's like, brrrrrrrrrr, I think you met your match on that. And he's like, I could argue you into the ground. He's like, you know scare me. Mm-hmm.

I was like exhilarated by all this, by the way. I know. And he's like, I don't wanna be, I'm not scared, I'm not, I don't wanna be scared. He's like, you're a bully, okay? You're a bully. All right, and you made every girl here cry.

And then we get a flashback of Patricia's house where all the girls are like have you cried from ship? Oh, yeah, I cried. I just cried yesterday May too. I like cried this morning and an hour ago. Oh, yeah, hey yelled at me two days ago Yeah, was he so angry and He never apologized to Catherine after that time so then we cut back and ships like how how do I make people come on? How and say I don't know if they were all speaking about it and he's like, how? How do I make people come on? How? And she said, I don't know if they were all speaking about it. And he's like, oh, you, oh, you're cute. You know what I speak in?

I speak in facts, okay? And the facts are, G-A-R-S-H, it's a garsh, so suck it, I just won, okay? Just conceding now, garsh. By the way, okay. Just proceed now, Garish. By the way, I love, I love, I love when someone is so such an asshole that when you tell them,

um, you've made five girls cry, how do I make them cry? Well, you know how you say things, and then they start to cry directly after you say things to them. That's called making someone cry. Yeah. Right. He's saying, like, give me each individual example. Right. You're doing that annoying thing. Oh, I hate that when people, when you argue with people and someone's like, well, I want all the specific examples. And it's like, you know, I don't have them all like locked

and loaded and ready to go because I wasn't planning on having an argument. And this isn't a court case. So I don't have all the specifics ready. But trust me, it's true. So I don't matter. You keep a diary of every dick thing Shep does. I mean, I do technically, because I keep my notes.

But in real life, mostly you don't do that. But Madison's like, you wanna know facts? You wanna know facts? And she's sort of saying it, because she's like, what kind of access? What's the first thing I can access? I can't think of anything. And Shep is like, I have nothing to hide.

Nothing at all. Clearly nothing. You could say the most outrageous thing at all, and I would have nothing to hide. Nothing at all. Clearly nothing. You could say it the most. Outrageous thing at all. And I would have nothing to hide about it. And I would not act very strange after you would say it and deny it totally. Absolutely not.

And we also have to mention that Danny has now come in and sat on the couch and is just cracking up at this whole thing. Like watching a mad dude. She's like, she's like, she's into it with stuff. She's like, she's loving it. She's like, this is great. I love just watching something guy. I'm completely not involved in and will not be involved in in no way

shape or matter form. Something that is specifically between the two of them and not me. So yeah, he's like, I have nothing to hide. And he's like, he's sure about that. And he just starts going through a roller dex of possible babies he could have made all over town like you just see his eyes like He's like try to remember if there was like anyone on a bicycle that he left behind before he went up to Colorado Was there anyone behind me? No, I don't think so. Yeah, I'm sure that his foot's still going And she goes well I heard that you gave her and she goes, well, I heard that you gave her chlamydia.

Pointing to Danny. Oh my God. And Danny is a bit laugh because she's been laughing at all this. So she's like, wait, what? What? What the hell was that? That is happening.

She's like, that is a blatant lie. I definitely did not have a very severe case of chlamydia address up with shop that I really was a pain in my ass my life did not happen did not happen yeah and Craig is still just lying on the other couch cracking up to you like so yeah she's like that's a lie and Madison goes well ask Austin. Sheep is of course changing the narrative to he's like oh so Madison goes, well, ask Austin. Mm-hmm. Is- is- is- Go ahead.

The chef is, of course, changing the narrative to, uh, he's like, oh, so you're gonna throw Danian to the bus. Oh, that's two people. Oh, and now Austin, Jim. Oh, three people. Trying to hurt three people. We're trying to. Was it worth it?

Was it worth it? Told you I could argue you under the ground. Oh, and then he just like leaves. Oh, right. Boom. A boom. Yeah, I was like, you know what? For someone who later on talks so much about defending people,

maybe you should have stood there and defended Danny a little bit if it were fake, if it were false accusation, right? Yeah. And by the way, also, I, and by the way, I, I mean, I understand like that, like that there could be embarrassment about getting climbe, but I also kind of feel like it's treatable. I just don't think it's something that's this big moment of shame. I just don't think it's shameful. I've never had it. I must say it shouldn't be, but it is.

And Danny is just like, and then Danny is always, I feel like making an effort to be nice to people. So it's just like, it's like picking all the nicest person, you know? I'll just like kicking the nicest person in the room. She is totally blindside. I mean, she's like, what? What? Yeah. So it's like, thanks.

They're in Charleston. It's like this small southern town. And you know, that's going to be with her for fucking ever now. Which unlike Climidia, thank God, because she can get that treated. But... So, uh, we're still, we're back at the other house where Shepco's over there to gossip to everybody about what a bitch Madison is. So, Don's still sitting there going, this is unbelievable! How long are people gonna take? This is just crazy! So Chef comes in and Madison's like, uh, Chef comes in and he's like,

Madison just fucked herself. She's over there making accusations of people and she's being really angry and she just, just, just remember to baby and through it in the fire. He goes, I mean, she thinks we are trying to keep her away from Austin and that we're bad influences on him. I don't know where she would get that idea from. I'm like because that's all you guys are. That's all you've been doing all season long.

Shap. Yeah, and he's like, well, you know, she's juggling hard a little bit. Yup, juggling hard a little bit. Yup, just know, she's juggling hard a little bit. Yep, juggling hard a little bit. Yep, just a little bit. Juggling hard a little bit. And but one thing I will say from Addison is she sure ruffled. She was ruffled. He was rattled as fuck. He was he you could see the way he was talking. He looked like he just see like a ghost or something, right? Like he was trying to be like his normal self, but you could see something was off. He was not talking the same way now that seems to her authority he was like he was like things were spinning and

he was trying to pro he was in his mind he was thinking don't do something that makes you look guilty is the fact I walked away look guilty of my saying this is this gonna look guilty that it was just she got it yeah then back in the other house Austin comes in and he sees Madison just sitting there dead eyed and he's like, uh oh, I know that face. What the hell is going on? Are you okay? If she's just looking at him with those dead eyes, like, and Craig's like, well, Danny just

came in and slammed the door. And Austin's like, Craig, what just happened? Check. Well, I guess I stayed Lord match I wanted to say and Craig's like she said chef gave her a Clyde a Mastra no I not kind of Mastra clams chowder no climbing a mountain no Craig I said Cl selted out to do Medea's family right not Medea

Climbed you Madison Madison you would say anything to guess yourself off the fire Why would you say that you mother fucking wood you mother fucking was so he starts having a bit? Person so Madison's like see he's mad because he told me he's mad and Craig just goes Wonderful And he just rolls over Craig's been laying down texting this whole time. No, it's a fair time He's like I have to lay low because I think a ferocious cat saw me outside So then the other house Austin comes in and ships like,

whoa, whoa, she just threw you under the committee, a boss crazy. And I told her this, I was like, you just threw three people under the boss. Like you start like talking like he just had the best take down ever. Yeah, and he goes, he had this weird sort of like moment of like, like he's he had this weird sort of like moment of like

Like he's normally pretty articulate right and and he goes she told me that I gave Danny a Climidia I was like yeah, there was just something Not quite shepp like about the way he was talking. I was like he is thrown at the very least He is definitely throwing off his game, which is hilarious Yeah, and he's like she just doesn't give a fuck she'll throw anyone under the bus And also it's like yeah, I know that about her like uh, excuse me, but you are the a rid you're the bus driver That's her because you were the one he gave her that information. You are the port authority I mean basically and and I like that he's saying that she doesn't give a

When she says she doesn't give a fuck and she uses anything against anybody But totally not trying to come between Austin and Madison totally not right totally not yeah, so Austin is like what do I do cuz like I can't admit that I did this right, but then it cuts to Austin talking to us and he's like shit I never should have asked him to Madison Kestos and talking to us and he's like, shit, I never should have gossiped to Madison. So we know it's true. It's just good because usually these shows make us wait for like a season. Yeah. So then back in the other house, Katherine comes out and Acorella de Vilco.

She's like, what did I miss? Danny seems really mad. Madison's like, yeah, my fault. Oh, my fault. It's gone. I just can't heal myself. And then Danny comes out. She's so mad she's taking her microphone off,

which so with the telltale sign and reality TV that someone's furious. And she's like, Madison shut the fuck up. Okay, I am an artist who has not sold a painting in five years, okay? So the whole thing that you're talking about with facts is crap. You truly don't know what you're talking about.

You're hurting people that shouldn't be hurt. People who have already suffered through Climidia. I mean, not suffered through Climidia, but can imagine what it must have felt like. Okay, he bought. It's like, I'm on your team wearing where the fuck are you talking like that? And Madison, instead of being like,

I'm so sorry, it just slipped out. She just gives her her the hand, you know? And she's like, why don't you just go change, smoke your mint thousand, get out of my face, have that back. And she's like, I haven't smoked a cigarette since I got here. She goes, I don't care. You just get for you. Oh, now she's out of her.

Now she's out of her as like the STD and the smoking, which obviously she's always doing off camera. Yeah, I think Catherine's like, arm, what's this smoking out to do with any of this? and the smoking, which obviously is always doing off camera. Yeah, I think Catherine's like, um, what's this smoking out to do with any of this? Catherine asking the real question. Yeah, she's trying to piece things together still. So outside Catherine and Danny are talking and said,

well, she was mad at sheppin' it's not like the truth. I mean, that's not even the truth. I mean, I just can't even imagine to wing that to someone. I can't imagine. I was like, just can't even imagine doing that to someone. I can't imagine. I was like, I can't imagine anybody sleeping with SEP. How has everyone in this cast almost done it? Well, Danny, well, she was Shep's long-time girlfriend, actually, before the show even started.

I think that, like, I remember season one, that's how he met Danny is. That it was Shep's ex, and they had a fling, but it didn't work out. So I think that she, like, that it was Shep's ex and they had a fling but it didn't work out. So I think that she like, she was with Shep before he was just had totally committed to being a full man whore. So that is disgusting and I forgot all about that and I'm re-horrified. I probably just blacked it out on my mind like a traumatic event and now it's back. It's back. It's just like we're remembering so many things about Danny. So she's like, why would Austin even say that what is wrong with it to a

man and Katherine just sitting there was just like huge arm face she's like she looks right in the camera like was this what it was like with me when I was being crazy and Danny just storms off in Catherine this kind of stance. They're like What did you follow her? Follow her So Chelsea and Shepherd talking in the other in the other house and she's like a Danny Say I've been modified if I will her and she's like, but it's not even true She goes so was still that's mortifying he goes. I mean, what did I call Madison again what did I call her Remember when I took a back probably a little too hastily garbage. Yeah, you know what you're such a you're such a jackass

Okay, you're the one like fucking millions of people and giving them STD. So that's like the most that's more white trash in anything Madison stands so far Yeah, and remember that you were also a% condescending to where it just now when she was saying that she was upset that they're not getting back together. And then you start like saying like that they were foolish and that they're bad for each other and that she's trying to change all this stuff. You were the one who's being and then saying like, you can't argue with me. You're being totally condescending and now you're like, oh, she's white trash because she deigned to clap back at you.

No, so now Austin and Chelsea are talking. He's like, God I really feel bad. And she's like, what do you feel bad for? You pussy? You know, he's like, well, it's just like, I mean, she's taking the roll on the chin over there, you know, and I know she's just holding it in and I feel bad No, it's like she doesn't she doesn't get to she doesn't get that right now, okay? Yeah, yeah exactly So then Charles sees Basley like did you tell did you tell her that about ship and Austin's like no? And then then don just starts laughing. He's like

He's like I've only been here for five minutes, but I know you're bullshitting and just like, you're lying, you're lying. And then Liza just stole like a sleep. Liza has slept this entire thing. She just on the couch like, yeah. So in the other house, Austin and Madison are talking and she's like, before you say anything, I'm not apologizing. He's like, I know, I know that's how you feel. She's like, Austin, I have to defend myself because you won't do it So now she's like gonna try and turn it around to him when he wasn't even there and he's like and Craig's just still texting all the couch cracking up Yeah, it's kind of funny that Austin gets it from both ends

They both are accusing him of not defending anyone and so they're both right by the way Yeah, and so then they're like, you know, they don't talk about Danny and Madison's just like, fuck her, she's the one who started all the shit between us anyway. Which I thought was funny, although, I mean, I don't really think that, I don't think that Danny should be the blame about that Instagram thing because guess what, Madison, you did hit up Danny's

boyfriend on Instagram. So that is shady, whatever, for whatever reason it is, it is shady. If anyone should be Craig for whatever reason it is it is shady if anyone It should be Craig who deserve Craig is really the one who's to her shit up. Yeah, but she already gotten apology I mean, it's like reality show. I think I think this is like retro active She's just sort of like oh I messed up but instead of admitting that I messed up by embarrassing Danny I'm just gonna be like oh yeah, no, I'm still mad. I'm still mad about that thing. I'm gonna bring back the grudges that way.

I'm like off the hook. Yeah, and awesome. It's like nothing I tell you is sacred. It's like, it's like you just spout out information. Like where's the truth in that? Where's the truth? It was like, what was it true? What you told her?

I mean, come on. Exactly. And he also says the same with Chelsea. Like both of you guys just, nothing I say is sacred. I'm like, well, maybe you should stop talking bullshit all the time and they won't be like oh my god This is what Austin just said, okay, yeah, maybe she's just not being a gossipy little woods. How about that? Yeah So Madison is now out of all arguments, so she just starts sniffing in the kitchen. She starts like

So he of course he's, come here, take a breath. Just take a breath. Madison. Madison. Why don't you deep robin, flex? Okay, Madison. It's same right now, you're insane. So Chef opens a front door and he's like, want to get on the bus? We'll just stay here. You know what? Why don't you just stay here? It'd be great. Burn. Shepard's a lot about burns. Where do you know the table? I argued you under the table. I know. So now we're back to Charleston. And guess what?

Cameron is back playing with Palmer on the kitchen floor. God shall never get those memories back, those moments back. We see Austin unpacking and smelling of sweaters to see if they still smell okay. Which for some reason gross. It just, there's something about when Austin does everyday things like smelling luggage

or spilling drinks on his carpet or like getting popped on the head with this trunk door. I'm like, oh, it's a mix of like gross. Grossed out and then also laughing at the same time. That's his talent, that's his superpower. Just grossing you out at every moment. So then yeah, and he's always doing laundry on the floor,. Just grossing you out at every moment. And he's always doing laundry on the floor, which is weird.

I don't care. That really doesn't bother me. But it's just weird that they're always showing him doing laundry stuff on the ground. Okay, so then we go over to Pat's house, and she's ringing a bell. It's like, ding, ding, ding. It's like, mudam.

Michael. She's like, I'm racing myself a man, your labor. I'll need a restore on a beverage. And then she takes like a little paintbrush and starts dusting a picture for him. That's enough labor for now. I'm just gonna sit here on this giant couch and wait for people to walk by and sit down next to me. Don't say I don't work. And then there's this random shot that I thought we were going to come back to and we never did. It's Danny. I'd like a bakery going, um, I have a croissant for here, for here, for here.

And then just got away. That's a weird scene. I think that they were putting it into shame, Danny on how she, like they're just going to attack Danny this whole episode. And I think this one was to shame her for not being able to say croissant because she's like, uh, that gives you guys ask coffee and they say anything else she goes hmm I'll take a chrisson Yeah, it was just like it was such a bizarre like slice of life moment because they do that

They show what people are doing but it was so bizarre that I thought okay We're gonna come back and Danny's gonna be having coffee with Naomi and catching up. It was just no, like, let's look at Danny very urgently order a croissant for here, for here, not to go. Yeah, she has that stress look on her face, like someone's gonna come in and minute for her to have a scene, she's like kind of nervous or whatever.

Nope, we just never go back to it. She's like looking to see if they're gonna put on like a special glove because they don't want to touch her. She's like, no, I swear, I never had it, I never had it, I just never got back to it. She's like, she's like looking to see if they're gonna put on like a special glove because they don't want to touch her. She's like, no, I swear, I never had it. I never had it. I don't have a committee. God. So then we got a Craig's house where he's trying to tell his parents how to hook up their FaceTime so that they can talk. So they have their phone turned around to his phone. He's like, do you see that little, do you see that little green button?

And the dad's like, yeah, I see it. What it's going again. It's like the quintessential trying to help your parents get on FaceTime scene. Yeah, 100%. I mean, God, I'm scared for the day that his parents Apple TV flunked out because I have been there. I have been there trying to walk my parents through reactivating their showtime subscription. Yeah, Apple TV. It is not easy, people, it is not easy. Well, if you have your Apple ID, now what's that?

Is that my email? Well, maybe it depends what email you use. Hmm, now go to your computer and do it from there and then come back to your device and then go to your phone, do it from there and come back. It's like, ah, parents had to explode all over the country. Yeah, they're just at some point there will just have to be an age limit on Apple TV, I think, because like, ah! Parents' heads explode all over the country. Yeah, they're just at some point, they'll just have to be an age limit on Apple TV,

I think, because like, you know, us children just can only do it for so long, can only help so much. Yeah, it's one of those reasons, you know, like I don't want kids, I don't even want to relate, like I'm very happy just being single and dying alone, like that's my goal in life. But then I watch things like this,

and I'm like, oh shit, who is gonna help me with my Apple TV? I know, yeah, I know my parents will literally like have their Apple TV on the fritz for like six weeks. And then the moment I come home, they're like, oh, can you fix the Apple TV? Like, they have gone without their Apple TV for so long. They're like Apple TV limbo. I know they're like playing charades again. So Craig is like, oh yeah, the dog is so cute. Speaking of, Shep got his talking name to Craig. Uh, and the pillows are going well. I met with my friend Jared and then we see a clip of Jared talking him and

Craig is showing him the same pillow that he showed him at the house. Yeah, he's like, look, I did a pillow. It's the same pillow we just saw. Who's working props and then and we're talking about Little Craig the dog you it's like So now it's little Craig and it's funny because I was little Craig Yes funny So Jared sees this pillow. He's like well, bro, I am proud of you. Wow, bro, I'm like so proud of you. And you know what?

Now I'm going to call the distributors. All those pillow distributors, I know, OK? Just hang tight. Can we call an eBay? Tell them you're ready to put something on sale. So then we go over to an aquarium where a camera and surprisingly is shooting a scene with her mother and Ashley, also known as a Morey Yeal, and they're walking around and

pushing Palmer around and looking at the fish and Cameron is like, you know, I thought that trip to Colorado was going to help me relax, but guess what? It made me realize that I have been trying for so long to hold on to my former identity before I was a mother of a nun, a mother, and I don't want to hire a nanny because I'm never gonna have these years back, you know, the expressions right, you know, the days are long, but the years are short, and the months are sort of in the middle sometimes, and you know, when you're on a treadmill, it's really long, but then when you're off the treadmill, it's like really

short, and I just want to be a Palmer. I'm a mother. I like the encameras mind she had this reputation before having a baby of being a part like a some party animal Like Cameron you've always been the stick up an ass. Okay, always That's the beginning of this show She was on girl's own while party girl. It's like oh good. Don't forget. She was in a girl's gone wild video Oh god. I just mean in the context of this show. Yes, not post-bunemeri real-world days. Yeah, I can do with that camera and her baby walking around in aquarium.

So instead, let's talk about that Ashley post that was on Reddit. Did you see it? Was this her cameo? Was this the cameo? Yes. I watched it the first happen. I was like, this is going on for another minute. I just can't.

She's so nuts She's like, hi so super day I'm it's me um and she keeps like she's just I'm worried about she keeps moving around like it She can't stay still she keeps like putting her face really closely taking it back It's like yeah, and she's like you might recognize me my name is Ashley and you might recognize me from a little little show Little tiny show called Steady and charm. I was like oh my god. You are even more obnoxious in real life than you are on the show

And she's like and it just keeps going and going and it's the craziest fucking thing ever So thank you Reddit. Thank you for everybody you posted that for us on our Facebook's yeah that was funny she is a crazy face a full-on crazy face so now we head on over to Nicole where Austin meets with Naomi and she's wearing a hat that says yeah everybody is like really on their baseball cap with a logo game in this episode. Yeah, they're really really going strong with it. So Austin's basically giving Naomi the update on everything that happened in Colorado and excuse me and how everything started off great on the trip, but by the end everyone's

just like pissed. It's like a bunch of insane people. They're all insane right now. He's like, yeah, everybody's pissed to me, but the trip wasn't created first, but then Horan's ship got into it. And you know, sheep has said mean things about her. It's just, oh yeah, I heard about the white trash comment. And by the way, I told him he can't say that.

And he's like, yeah, but like, he went to have a talk with her, but like, he's always so disingenuous, you know, and then we're packing a leave. And then sheep does what chef does He pokes and he pokes and he pokes and he pokes now. Yes, chef does do that But in this particular moment he really didn't do that You know, no, but he also didn't start poking at her. She's also spoke She poked but he also was very condescending to her as well Well, that's true and I guess he was the one who said, like, that's not a good idea.

I don't know. I mean, it was full of sexual tension. Let's be honest, which makes sense because Naomi is like, well, can we believe I'm talking to your crazy mouth right now, but like, you know, maybe Shep is always going after Mass and because she rejected him. And it's like, yeah, there's 100% what's happening.

I mean, yes. I mean, he's tried. I mean, yes. I mean, we just, oh, yeah. He's tried. He has tried before. Oh, yeah, he's tried with her. And she's like, well, who wouldn't? She's hot. And he's like, yeah, but this is the second time

she's betrayed me. I mean, I'm sure you tell me tool things. She's like, yeah, that's why you won't let me go on trips if you fucking lose her. Yeah. She's like, I mean, I do tell him things, but I don't think he actually listens. So I feel pretty good with this situation. Yeah. It's so funny that mean, I do tell him things, but I don't think he actually listens. So I feel pretty good with this situation

Yeah, it's so funny that like no matter what I tell him he just says do not eat a rice crispy I'm always like like Shep is being so condescending and he's like put down the brownie and I'm like Yeah, so she's like so What's you know what's gonna happen here She's like I don't think that he would repeat it and he goes yeah Ding ding ding ding ding and every time anything happens chef's just ready to throw a entire friendship out the window Like he sent me this Braveheart clip and it's called utter betrayal

That is such a straight guy thing to do to fight with Braveheart clips Like if someone ever sent me a Braveheart clipip to express how they were feeling, I would actually would throw their friends about. I would. He's like, and I was just trying to be supportive by sending him one of those Kevin Costner Clips if you build it, he will come, okay? You know, trying to support his new house, then he could send me Braveheart, who would do that to somebody else?

And so then I sent him the clip of Matthew McConaughey in Wolf Wall Street going, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Kilmer saying you could ride my tail any day and he like did not appreciate that either. Yeah, so he sent me a clip of Russell Crowe all covered in blood. Like what the fuck, Ladiator? Seriously? Who does that? Yeah, and then I sent him a clip of Harry Conn Jr. Will Smith having fun locker room banter before going out and shooting some aliens and Harry Conn Jr. dying, which I thought was an emotional sentiment for me saying like, let's kill this beef, and he just responded with a muppet-caper clip, a fuzzy bear dancing around.

That one I didn't get, honestly that one I did. I didn't understand why he sent this to me. Yeah, no, that ended the text, that ended the text. I don't know why, it was like Diana Rican, fuzzy bear, strange. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So basically she's like, well, you know, look, you made a mistake, you told him a secret, you told her one of his secrets, but I'm sure that if you just call him, he'll be there

for you. Honestly, we've been shooting this for 10 minutes. I'm exhausted. Can we please stop? They're good. Okay. Like my, to paraphrase my hat, LeBai. LeBai.

I'm ready to go. LeBai. I'm ready to go. LeBai. Or Lebia. Depending on where you are reaching the lane for nothing. Yes, a bassist. She's like, just say you're sorry, and he'll come back around. So now we go over to Catherine's house. And we sort of get a resurrection of an old Southern term tradition, which is mass

and calling bass and bassist saying, I was just in the neighborhood, can I swing by? I was like, oh, that is so... Is that just happened last week too? Did it? I... You know, my brain is mostly mush at this point, so I don't really remember anything. But what I did like, so first of all, when Madison said she's coming over, Katherine gives a big, like, arm face like arm face like yeah like who's Madison and then and also she's not supposed to be being nice to Madison because that's that you know she's been there for her and stuff like that and she's like really producers like

because they're making it one of those scenes like look at Catherine just hanging around her house as she normally would in leather pants and leather boots. Other ear with a see through, you know, top or whatever. Well, she probably thought it was Madison from Gwyns, you know. Oh, maybe. I think they were just like Catherine B. There's someone's going to show up and so she's like, really, this is who's showing up. You know, what I was so happy about, I don't know if you noticed this, but they had a close-up of Catherine's coffee table and there was a book there that said Catherine at home, which I'm sure she bought because it said Catherine at home But it was written by Kathy M. Ireland not the model Kathy Ireland

but the interior designer formerly of million dollar decorators formerly with Martin Lawrence Blod and with Martin Lawrence Blod and formally one of one of I feel like the underrated shows on Bravo. So I was like so happy to have like just like a hint of Catherine Ireland back up. Yeah, she was actually on Best Room Winds that Bravo show, which I watched every episode. Finally, thank you for it. Well, I liked Carson too, the Carson and whatever. I loved the Carson and Tom one. Yeah, but yeah, that was good.

She was on it for an episode. They have like a celebrity guest judge every time and she was one of them and she is really funny. That show is so good. I love that show, Million Dollar Decorators. They should bring her back. So anyway, so now Madison comes over and they sit down and they're talking and she's like, you know, I feel really bad about what happened because I just don't want you You know, we were really getting along so well and we're like totally like Bob and I'm like you know our kids have to hang out and stuff

And I just felt bad because I don't want you to feel like I'm really ruthless I was like I like that she feels worse about the impression that Catherine may have of her than of saying that Danny got Climidia Yeah, she just wants to make sure she's okay with Catherine. Yeah. Um, she's like, yeah, well, you know, like when I get mad like that, I'll just do anything I can. I'll pull anything.

I just can't control it. I can't control it. It's the anchor that's flying on the side of my face. Catherine's like, yeah, I've been there. I've been in the position where someone attacks me and then I just switch blue. And then we see her like trying to strangle Whitney. Yeah, it's so great. It's like her most parker pose moment of all time. And she's like, yeah, but look, it's definitely not okay. What was that? But, you know, at the same

time, like, I do think it's cool that you stood to him, because I never have. And I don't know anyone who's really ever stood up to him. And she tells us no one ever stands up to shut because he like confuses you. You know, we take your words and start using them against you and asking for facts and figures. He always talks about the Vietnam War and Ken Burns. And I don't understand why he brings it up and it confuses me. And next, you know you know I'm saying sorry. I never burned Ken. So she's like yeah then he expects to dominate that conversation and Madison's like yeah see if you're math knack like a lady. Yeah be seen and not hurt. Yeah be a saint the kitchen and the horn the bad dream. Yeah I birded in a hand and a bush and a bird. It's

not correct and it's not about women but but I still really wanna be your friend. Okay, question. Yeah, so and they're saying like, you know, when you're like a woman in Charleston, you say one wrong thing and the girl's crazy, right? So like the girls we have to stay together, that's the only way that we'll ever gonna make the man change, et cetera.

So it's like a big like, up with lady power, et cetera, moment. Yeah, it's at a right moment. Yeah. And she's like, yeah. Madison. Yeah. So now we go over to Austin and Shep, because they have to mend their bromance.

Oh, good. This is just like a commercial for like Dick sporting good fashion, you know. It's like, she. I was just happy that Shep was wearing coordinating colors. Okay, this is a big step forward, you know? Shep was dressed like he lives in an igloo. He was wearing like a North Face mustard vest, a shirt, like a collared shirt with an

undershirt, and a hat that's promoting moose or buffaloes. Whoa, garsh. He also, his house looks like Rosie from the Jetsons. You know, I noticed it because, like, when Austin walked up to it, he has these like slats, the windows have these like slats, but I guess when it's like warm out or something like that, he opens them and they sort of open up like an awning,

say, look like eyelids. And in the mouth, it just, it's the same color as Rosie's head. And the door looks like Rosie's mouth. And so therefore, it's the same color as Rosie's head, and the door looks like Rosie's mouth. And so therefore, I am declaring he lives in Rosie the robot. And I feel good about that. I feel really strong about taking that stance.

Yeah, you're supposed to live inside the maid, okay? Because your house is mothlin'. So, yeah, and then he's wearing his logo hat, and then Austin's got his own logo hat, which I couldn't read. I kept trying to and I was like, Ronnie, are you really going to make this much of an effort to read a fucking? It was like an hour and 11 minutes into a recap.

It was a very small image of William Wallace. So basically, they have an awkward, like, bro moment where Austin's like, I brought a piece offering, I brought some drop hop and then Shep like shakes his hand very formally with like a very ridges arm and stuff and he's like, oh gosh I have some beer too check this out if you've seen this one like oh the blonde. Yeah the blonde. Yeah cool Cool, it's like oh my god. This is gonna be a tough scene. I know and it even started out tough because it starts with Austin calling him And he's like can we talk and she's like yeah, man I'm willing to talk and then we get the whole drive over there and I'm like oh my god are you guys just like scrambling for shit or what okay yeah so then we finally get to it and chefs like uh whoa well you know I have a lot to say obviously

and I just wrote their fucking hats like Like, okay, who is sponsoring this fight? You know, so Chef's like, want me to go first, I'll go first. Here's the thing, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, taping that foot on his, it's like, I'm a nice person, I'm a happy person, and I like to surround myself with positive people, and I like to bring positivity to other things, especially when it comes to STD tests. But on this trip... I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass.

I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass.

I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a mad ass. I'm a the process. I was like, oh, that's a nice interpretation of the events. You said one bad thing about her. Actually, you're on TV time and time again, saying that they shouldn't be together, and that she

was somehow more at fault because she had revenge sex. And while no one is saying two wrongs don't make her right, it seemed like you were a hundred percent sort of giving a, a, a slap on the wrist for having a threesome in Madison's own house that she paid for or rents or whatever. But we're more angry at Madison because she went and got herself some also. Well, I think he was saying like when I called her a white trash, with a white trash hairdresser, it was when you were upset about breaking up with her and I'm like, come on, man, she's just a white trash hairdresser and then you take that and tell her once

you make up. But I don't know that that's what they're saying, but it seems like it because he's so mad that she told him that. He's like, what the fuck dude? I was just telling you that to make you feel better and he's like, the one that crags the one who was like, you know, this is what I learned and I want you to talk to Austin about it and Austin said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Craig on to the bus.

This is by the way, the same man who got mad at Madison for throwing, whoa, you just do two people, three people under the bus. And the very first thing she up does is throw Craig under the bus. Like, you should be mad at Craig and not me. Oh my God. It's amazing. And Austin's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This conversation is going in a totally different way than I thought it was going to go with.

So like, and he's like no man And then chef gets mad and he starts waving his arms. He's like no man Playing just lands on the on the house Like oh sorry, and chef this was a yeah, and chef is aging so rapidly that he really is like an old man on his arm like no I'm like no Oh Boy, yeah So Shep yeah, he's like listen on the trip. Guess what we wound up having fun. God damn it You know what she was laughing at my jokes. She was reluctant to do so at first

But even she said you're fucking funny. You entertain me garsh Exonerated and excuse case dismissed Gorsh exonerated and excuse case dismissed Yeah, and then and then we had that conversation and I'm like look I said things about you I regret and Austin's like oh, yeah, and that yeah that conversation like she said that was the most Distant genuous conversation. She's never had he's like Gorsh and he's like yeah, but I defended you against her. Okay, Austin pick a lane You fucking you what the hell? You can't do that like you're here to stand up for Madison

You're saying the right things to stand up for Madison and then you immediately are like well I was standing up for you in that conversation against but also to anchor on to the bus to sort of buy Absolutely. He's yeah, he's stoking the stoking flames I mean, I'm but I also like shut being surprised that she called it disingenuous Like I can't believe I got stoned off my ass and barely knew what I was saying and she thought my apology to her Was disingenuous when then two seconds later. I was talking about how I don't have fat nipples I can't believe she thought that was disingenuous. I gave her drugs So it's like you shouldn't have been defending me. You should have told her to shut Oh, I just shut the fuck up. Have you ever told her just to shut the fuck off?

Because you should really learn how to do that and often it's like, uh, yeah, you should learn not you should learn To not be bad and then I then chef just turns into Ramon and he goes no No, no I'm! No! No! I'm not gonna learn to do that. Oh my god, Chef. This is like problematic on 30,000 different levels. I know, Austin's like, and you realize why. And don't you realize, well, this is why you've never had a girlfriend.

You don't really know how to talk to people. And she's like, she walks over to this brick. And Austin's like, I'm not gonna tell someone a girl just to shut out, shut up, he's like, no, fine, then you say this. You should say, darling? Ha ha ha ha, darling. Darling, listen, we're here in Steamboat Springs with a very charming man who has genuine apologies and please don't make any trouble for me because he's the coolest person I know

and he's gonna pay for all my drinks, okay? And he said he's sorry. Gorsh! Yeah, pretty much. Fucking shit man. And so he's like, I just wanted to understand Austin. I wanted to know why.

I wanted to know why. And Austin's like, I don't understand what you can't understand. He's like, Yeah! It's like no one can understand. Oh my gosh! And Austin's like, okay, I get it.

You know, like, Chef thinks that Madison's trying to walk all over me, but he couldn't be more wrong because I choose to be with her, okay? And like, and you treat her like shit. Yeah, I mean, I mean, oddly enough, there is a kernel of truth to what Chef is saying, you know? And what Madison's saying, and really it's Austin who's fucking up their relationship between each other. Because Shep is being like, well I apologize to her and I really meant it. So when she said it was this in genuine, you should have said, actually, I know Shep

and I actually think he really meant it and I think he, you know, he, that's what Shep is essentially trying to say, but he's just doing it in a very borish way. And Madison is also getting mad at Austin because for all the stuff we already said earlier this episode, and the thing is that I think that what happens is that Madison tells Madison things about Shep that will piss off Madison. And then Austin tells Shep things about Madison that piss off Shep.

Yeah. So they had this whole situation. And really, you said it earlier in this recap that they're both right because they kind of both are because Austin is the problem here. He is the problem. Yeah. It's so frustrating and it's these fucking douche bags

screaming at each other and they're both saying shit, pissing me off. And I'm like, oh my god. I mean, chef is still saying bullshit here. He's right and saying bullshit all at the same time. I did love when he said, again, he tries to just make himself seem like just an angel. He's like, I called her white trash at a dinner party with three people, and it was just an opinion. And by the way, even I've been proved by now, I don't know what has.

A garsh, a garsh. And that's what happens when you bring, and this is where, where this is the reason that chef is always the biggest piece of shit Oh, I thought this is hilarious. He's like this is what happens when you bring someone in it doesn't bid in So many belongs in a honky-tonk bar sitting on a stool that's a saddle, you know talking to Tanya at the end of the bar It's like He painted a wonderful picture by the way. That's just a licking prick. And don't you remember that you just hurt your ankle from being in a honky-tonk bar on a fucking mechanical bowl? Like, it's not the fact that she's like a cheese ball,

you know, a hay sitting on it. I mean, it's just such a snob, he's so gross. Why don't you just say this is what happens when you talk to poor people, okay? This is what you happen when you know people without loaded fucking parents So you never have to do anything your whole fucking life Except drink, you know fuck you dude. It was totally snobby, but I also thought it was hilarious

I loved that he painted that picture of Saddle at Angi-Dong Bartok and detanya Fucking hate yeah, by the way, he's probably fucked on you on that saddle. Yeah, that hate him. By the way, he's probably fucked on you on that saddle. Yeah, that's true too. That's true. So yeah, Austin's like, but you're insane person. Okay, did you push and push, push, or did you not? Okay, you just go off the deep end, okay?

And she's like, well, she said, come sit down, chef, where's that twinkle in her eye? Oh, so it's her fault that she tried to engage with you and then you were totally condescending to her. Yeah, and then he's like, well, you should never be together. And he's like, oh, but I'm the problem. You know, and I said, my problem with you was just information I got.

I wasn't trying to build a wall or anything. I was just relaying information. And I I told her I'll argue under a table And I will bury you when she keeps repeating over and over like he's such a badass like fighting with fighting with some girl You know, yeah, oh actually Austin Austin sort of says that he says like you know You think you're the biggest baddest smartass and you say it to everyone But that's only according to you and chef is like gosh. I would never say it to everyone, but that's only according to you. And Chepp is like, gosh, I would never say it to you. And Austin's like, yes, you would. Okay. It's like, we have a friendship and you're like willing to throw it away. And I was like, I am. I am. Hold on one second.

I am going to look up a gift of lethal weapon for one moment, please. I'm too old for this shit. We have to understand that I feel betrayed as much as you feel but no Austin. No no no no. Yes you shouldn't have been doing this with fucking Madison, but again for the 20th time in this recap You're betraying everyone by going and talking shit about them to the other people, right? Yeah, so he's like that's a car Pau you know what man just caught bait and release with her and if you don't find but you can't expect much from me after that Yeah, and Austin's like did you just send me a gift of Mel Gibson pulling a house off of a hill? And leave the weapon to So Austin's like that's not a true friendship and that's basically where that's the Klythanga. What is gonna happen?

They'll make up and continue to go out fucking a million people together and like not having girlfriends, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's what always happens. Which if you want to, that's fine. I mean, live your life, you know, but God, don't be such a jackass to women, my God. I know. I know. But either way, I was still, I still love this episode. I was totally into it. It was great to see you at some, uh, I was furious by the end. So that's always a good sign. That's always fun. It's fun. I was furious laughing. So that's that's what I like. So Anyway, this is our last episode of the week, but before we close out, let's hit let's go check in on the crap and mailbag So the crap and mailbag is where our Patreon listeners can write in questions and then we read them on the air. We haven't been able to do it for the past two weeks or so because of travel issues, but

we all back and we only have a few more questions left before we refill the mailbag. So the first question is from Sharon. Sharon says, I can't help but be grossed out by the thought of how many how bad many of the housewives houses must smell between the plethora. I mean, it's what keeps her up at night. Between the plethora of plethora,

plethora of plethora of untrained pets, I mean, can you imagine the smell of the Larosa or at D'Arendez House after Ramona's dogcraft? Not to mention Kyle's dog is running all over the place and what about the smell of incense and old age rod at Erica's? So whose house the sharn is like not pulling any punches? So whose house do you think smells the worst and what does it smell like? PSI love you guys. I love you. Thanks for the question. I would say as much as I love this woman, I would say it has to be Vanderpump because she's just got a million fucking animals and there's no... when I had a pig for a couple days, but my landlord wouldn't let me keep the pig. I ended up finding a place for my pig to live and And it was in West Hollywood. It was close to me. And it's this old hippie couple and they're like, Hey, we have a farm

in our backyard. And I was like, how's that possible? And I went to the house. And it's one of those little tiny West Hollywood houses. And they did in fact turn their tiny little backyard into a farm with all sorts of animals, like a huge tortoise and a little miniature donkey. And there were gnats everywhere and flies everywhere and it smelled like poop and it was gross But you know, I mean it was a pig I was giving away. So I was like he'll be happy here But even inside their house it was still like Oh And that's what I think of every time I see Vanderpops house

Yeah, I think that's I think that's a good call. I think the worst ones God part of me wants to say brandy from Dallas because I just feel like it smells like like little children and like like Apple like Apple juice boxes like when you go to a kindergarten classroom you're like whoa it's like that smell of like juice boxes and Candy and spill something that was spilled behind a couch that no one knows. There's like a dead hamster somewhere and like sheep and she probably like you know she tries her best to keep it clean but it's like that that little children smell. I feel like it's probably everywhere and it's probably also in Stephanie's house too

but there's more kids in Brandy's house and I think probably um you know and I think actually actually was probably the Gina from Orange County probably has the worst because she probably has all of that Plus shitty candles that she got from PJ Max be like I got this candle because it says gather So I'm I laid it as like supposed to smell like I have some stupid phrase on it like Cancun Knights, but all it smells like is like weird baby powder and like rose water and you're like oh what is that awful smell like it's like that thing that you smell when you're walking through macy's and like Vita from Shaza Sunset spritzes you like do like you like perfume and you're like no I don't I want to go to say I'm goody right now

actually speaking of MJ's house MJ's house for sure Okay, what else is in there? Just dang. Hot dang. It's just dang. She says, hi guys. Oh, by the way, this question is two months old. So she says, hi guys, I know you have a full plate, but I was bummed that you didn't cover Mexican dynasties. Maybe next time what other bravo shows currently or very recently airing. Did you guys watch and enjoy? Why as a bonus, can you give us at least one Mexican Dynasties impression? Love you guys. So a bravo show currently very recently airing that you guys watched and enjoyed. I mean, admittedly that was two months ago. So two months ago I would have said summer house. And these days, got Southern charm. New Orleans has really

been killing it. And honestly, I think, I think that's the only stuff we don't cover. Oh that we don't cover? Yeah. I mean I would think that's right now There's nothing on bravo that we don't cover that I'm not that I'm watching Um mine were I the ones that I was watching I watched all of texicon is really liked it I know a lot of people yeah, I thought it was good. I watched the whole thing. Oh I thought it was terrible and then um I really like that good. I watched the whole thing. Oh, I thought it was terrible and then I Really like that one and I really liked best room wins and my

Impression from Mexican dynasties. I really loved the dad Was it Fernando the soap opera actor? Because he gets into it with one of his sons. They have like a few going on through the whole whole cell and he's like, how could you do this to me? He has like this gutter in the talk and then he does like the the honey eyes when he's really mad. He's like, oh, like trying to make everyone just feel really upset. He's like trying to convey his anger. Yeah, I wish I just was not, I really enjoyed Mexican Dynasties and I wanted to watch the whole season, but at that time, I just remember we were so, so, so busy and I just did not have the time to keep up with

it, which is too bad. And I just wish, you know, you know, especially also the time, the week that it aired, which was like Tuesday nights, it just, it just was hard and, you know, it's unfortunate that we didn't, you know, we're not, for me, it would have been nice if I could have like, watch it over the weekend beforehand and whatever, it would have had more time then, but it just did not work out. So, but maybe next season, hopefully there will be a second season and hopefully we will be able to cover it. So then, last question here is from Jamie. Jamie, no last name.

We love Jamie. We met Jamie in Minneapolis. She says, so great to meet you in Minneapolis. This question is from about a month ago. And she says, Amazon Prime Day is coming up again on July 15th and 16th. No pressure to purchase anything, but I love the bonus episodes where you guys

are online and shop and browse together, any chance that can happen for this one. Well, we were planning on doing that, but there was a whole big kerfuffle with Amazon Prime Day this year, and we decided we were not going to get in the middle of that, and so we just sort of stayed away from the process. We didn't cross the picket lines. Woo! So unfortunately, this is two years in a row. We have not been able to do our Amazon Prime Boney because last year we tried and Amazon Prime was down.

I'm just just kept getting pictures of puppy dogs and things like that. And that's no good. So that's the reason why we did not do our Amazon Prime Boney this year. But I'm sure maybe we'll do something for cyber Monday in a few months. Maybe we'll make it up to people like that.

But I do have to get some stuff, okay? So I will be on Amazon Prime soon. And in fact, as we were talking, just got a notification that a package arrived. So I am like just jumping with joy, because I don't even know what the package is, and I'm so excited. I don't know what a package. I don't know what it is, and I feel like it is Amazon Prime Day all over again. So this episode we are done. I'm going to check my packages. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Please go to watchacrapans.com to get tickets to our shows. Our next one is at the end of next month. Oh my god, it's August. And it's going to be in Charlotte. And it's going to be in a huge theater as part of a comedy festival. So we want everyone to come so we make a nice big splash at the fest. So go watch crap and start coming to get that and we will talk to everyone on Monday. Bye everybody!

Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.