Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Mind Shuck

Episode Date: July 29, 2022

Chleb gets messy on Southern Charm and Olivia gives Venita a shuck you non invite to her parents' party. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, hello and welcome to Watch Run! We're up in some podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie. Hi.

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How are you? Good. Great. Thanks. How are you? Good. Just centering my camera Seasual. Everything's going well. Everybody, welcome to Southern Charm Day here on Watch What Crapids. Okay. Just so you know for the schedule, we did do Dubai this week. So real housewives of Dubai is posted. Go check that out. Next week, we're not going to do it. Okay, because that's our Paragotif. Okay. We're going to be doing a recap of Mary to Medicine next week, then place that and just check

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a seven of the show okay that's enough for my bullshit man that's a pretty mobile um I am like fired up I'm fired up from the stupid episode of Southern Charm, also because I've got residual firing up from Big Brother, which we just talked about off camera. And like we were, now I'm like, I'm so in a tizzy from being angry about Big Brother that I'm just gonna use that rage, that rage against fucking Daniel on Big Brother,

and just channel it into the assholes on this show. I feel like it's gonna be a really productive morning. Well, I mean, I would like to thank, I would like to congratulate Caleb, you know, wow. You really graduated to full douchebag status. Yeah, I thought I'd really felt for Caleb's bullshit. I was like, what a sweet guy. And you know, whenever there's a crazy couple

and one of them's like, oh my wife, she's crazy. And then you find out all the shit that this guy's been doing to Gaslight this chick the whole time. You know, you are that person. You are a motherfucker. So congratulations. Congratulations. You should do Shrag.

Welcome. Welcome to the show. You'll fit right in. That was an amazing twist because, you know, I've really liked Caleb all season. Even though I was like, this is a glaring red flag that he just like left. He just left and was gone for a week

and then he just walks back and like, there's nothing wrong. I was like, he seems so nice. And then I was like, oh, this episode, okay, he's an asshole. Turns out Caleb is an asshole. Turns out Caleb's an asshole, you know. And the first episode, it gets a whole new light

to that first episode when Catherine was so mad at him at her party. And it's like, why is she so mad that he's being nice to somebody, you know, it doesn't make any sense. And she told him, you're not loyal. And he's like, that's ridiculous. And we're like, oh my God, poor Caleb, you know, malala, and now that I've seen this, I'm like, oh, okay.

He's not loyal. He's not fucking loyal at all. That's he's just called it. She called it on that one. That's for sure. Yeah. He's just, he is an asshole that is playing some weird game. I don't know what it is, but it's like getting his rocks off. So whatever. Yeah. Anywho. Welcome. You're not going to be boring. You know, my big worry for him was, God, he's going to be so boring. All he's doing is like, but I'm so nice.

And, you know, I just don't understand why Catherine's mean and why kids, I don't even understand. You know, he's doing that whole sweet guy. He's just been ensnared by a crazy person. And no, you are an asshole who just been ensnared by a crazy person. And no, you are an asshole who's been ensnared by a crazy person. And it just made, I was like, okay, good job. Nice work. Welcome to the show.

He deserves those very strange slick meatballs like Hathor's serve them. Okay. You definitely deserved that tomato paste with water. Some watery tomato potentially like a strange batharization of a Trader Joe's frozen entree. Not sure. Yeah. So, you know, it was good to see because the casting has been wonky. We all know it. Why deny it? The casting has been just super wonky lately. So it was good to see that there is some fitting casting here.

So let's also I just want to say, I just want to say, also Olivia's an asshole. I know we've sort of established that already, but I feel like I was like, you know what? She really is an asshole. And she's, I'm not saying that like she is wrong and Austin is right about anything. I'm just saying Olivia's an a Olivia's like a real asshole.

So also welcome to the show also welcome to the show. Yeah, she's been here, but she's really letting her assholeery bloom very gradually, you know, she's done this before. She's like, you know, you're just a little more of an asshole every week. Until it just blooms into this gorgeous asshole, puckered asshole flower. Yeah, I think the thing where I get a little annoyed with Olivia is that she's an asshole, but I think that she thinks she's a really good person. And so that frustrates me a little bit. But we're going to get all into it because I already already feel like I have a few rants ready to go.

Again, it's just like misdirected big brother rage. But if there's any place to redirect rage, it's right into Southern Charm. Yeah. And this is another episode where not really anything happens, but we'll still talk about it for five hours somehow. Yeah, we will. Yeah, buckle up. So we're back at Ivy's, the hotel,

Ivy's. In Charlotte, Charlotte, North Carolina, Craig has managed to just like destroy his room in one night. I don't know how Paige is gonna deal with that, okay? Because I feel like he's been putting on a good show for her. But at some point, she's gonna wake up and her, like, there'll be a hole in the wall and like, five open bottles and like sticky stuff everywhere.

I just be like, oh my god, I do not like and subscribe to any of this. Yeah, well when their shows are canceled time, sure her mind will change. So she, she, they show clips of what they did last night, which is like shooting hoops, taking shots, being bras with the dude named Whitley. they show clips of what they did last night, which is like shooting hoops, taking shots, being bras with the dude named Whitley.

So it's not Jasmine Guy. My favorite kind of bra shot on one of your friends is Whitley. I like seeing in that footage we see Shep. They're at that bowling alley. The bowling alley is sort of like a Dave and Buster is kind of place and watching what a maniac chef becomes around Carnival games. Like he's like they're doing like a, he's got to hit as many baskets as possible. And he's like, I'm worrying. How do I like to worry?

Oh! Like you're ruining fun, Chef. That's how you have to do it. You have to make as many as you can right in a row, right? If you like to. Yeah, I'm terrible at that, by the way. I totally identify the ship. Well, I can do a speedball guy. A speedball?

Skieball. Oh, it's going to say, wow, you really are like chef. Skieball. I'm better at the basketball one, believe it or not. So because you can say love in that one, you can play love in basketball. Oh, guys, Ant Horse. God, who doesn't love horses?

Am I right? Basketball. So I could do with a little less of chef naked and bed rubbing himself. Like, who thought we needed that? Why do we need that? And he's doing that thing where he's calling Taylor the next day to, you know, make fun of her for thinking that he would even fuck somebody on vacation, which he probably did.

And so he's come to his hair like a little boy and he's in bed. Make it just pick it up himself. It's disgusting. And he put Taylor on speaker phone. So therefore he like rests his phone right on his chest. So we get several extreme closeups of chefs like chest hair and nipples and like. The nipples and everything.

Everything that's in there, you know? It looked like a Cape Cod. I don't know, I didn't like it. So her mailbox is full. And he is so he finally gets a know. I didn't like it. So her mailbox is full. So he finally gets a hold of her and he's like, your mailbox is full and after embarrassing, you need to minimize your inbox. Oh man. And she goes, well, I deleted everything and he's like, gosh, well last night there were girls everywhere. There were so many girls girls to the left girls to the right

Girls I was inside girls. I was outside of everywhere girls. She's like I can't tell if this is a joke. I'm kidding you not. Oh speaking of nuts I just knotted thinking about all those girls gosh They're like just so we all understand what Taylor is jealous of. Let's get another close-up of Shep's Harry Nipples. Okay. Let's get another close-up of that. Just in case anybody's trying to fucking eat ever again.

Yeah, and I just want to clarify, when I said it looked like Cape Cod, I meant like, you know those kind of like sandy dunes that have like sort of grass in them? Oh yeah. All over Cape Cod. Yeah, that's what it looks like to me, just like a weird grassy dune. You know, if you stared at Chepp's chest long enough, you might see like a J crew shoot or something like that, you know. He wishes. So, yeah, he's basically like, you know, I'm going to go to Austin's mom's house and raid the house of furniture.

Which is like, get a crib, get the crib. He's like, cool, Lord, I just for Austin, you knock. Okay, I'm going to let you go and continue to rub my foo ball. Okay. And he just picks it as weiner for a while. You guys are there is such a thing as being too comfortable on camera, okay? You've come to that point. That's true.

Then we have, then it's like they gather in the car outside the hotel and cracks like, she's cute, right? I was like, who Craig? I was like, the girl in the car looking at this pop behind us and she's like, gosh, I thought you don't look at any other girls.

When you're dating, you're going to be the architect of your demise. I thought you were trying to curate a relationship. And Craig's like, no, me and Paige can like both see hot people like we can masturbate to them or have sex that we just can't have lunch with them ever. That's like the only rule really. So then they start heading off to Austin's childhood home and Austin's talking about, you know, that they moved into this home in 96 when he was like eight or nine

and he's like, the Austin's mom Wendy is gonna be making them lunch and shop and it's like, is your mom getting eggs salad? Because I don't like eggs salad. And it becomes this whole thing about eggs salad. So it's like, let me call her. Let me call her mom right now. Okay, I'm gonna call her,

hey Wendy, and then he starts picking at his dick. I was like, are you gonna jerk off while you're talking on the phone to your mom? You fucking whine with the guys on this show, dude. Get your hand off your dick, okay? You're talking to Wendy. Yeah, so he's like, mom, this is insane.

This drive we're having right now. What's for lunch? So Wendy says, something that I feel like she probably says every single day to someone. Like to someone in her life, she's like, well, I have really nice ham, a turkey, Swiss cheese. And I just made some homemade egg salad. And the background chef just rolls his eyes like,

oh, God, egg salad, really. Let me tell you what my problem is with egg salad. It's just, it's slimy, it's cold, it smells. I'm like, oh my God, are you reading Taylor's diary? You like a cheese? Mac often like salad. I have to say I don't disagree. I mean, I mean, I think I've had some good egg salad. I'm not of the salads of the macaroni's and potato salads. Egg salad. I don't totally get the appeal, but I also, but I will say this, like a shitty potato salad is better than a shitty egg salad. When egg salad goes to the wrong,

yeah, shitty egg salad can kill you. You know. Well, shitty egg salad, I think like egg salad has, it's not forgiving. Like, it's either gonna be, like someone's gonna make it and make it amazing or it's gonna be like, get it away. Much like an egg in general.

Eggs are one trick of it. We'll show you that. It gets right to the nature of eggs. Austin's like, love you. Love you, um, okay, hold on, let me just adjust my nuts and, okay, I'll drive you to the air mouth. And she's like love you love you. Um, okay hold on. Let me just adjust my nuts and okay I'll drive you out and chef's like whoa you say I love you to your parents. I never say I love you to my parents It's weird

And then Craig's like I always say love you by to like my my brother and sister. That's what I do So then no way that's weird. They're funding your whole fucking life. You better learn to say I love you. Okay. Yeah. I say love you to am X every time I pay that bill. I'm like eight. Love you. Thank you. Is it funny? What do you accidentally say? Love you to someone? Does that ever happen all the time? Have you ever said that to somebody you're dating? I'm like, okay, bye. Thanks for tonight. Love you. Soft you later. And oh my God, it causes like the worst. The worst next two weeks of your life. It's like, why are you so awkward?

I'm not. I'm not awkward at all. I was just thinking like a daughter like John Boergy was be like, thanks so much. Bye, I love you. I mean, I mean, sorry. So then now we, by the way, now we get to insight into what a horrific teenager Austin was.

In case, I mean, we all knew he was a horrific teenager, but now we get to hear the actual stories. So he was like driving through his old neighborhood and he's like, oh, yeah, over here, I was racing a friend home from La Crosse practice one time and this driveway wasn't, I know, you can just end this end there. Just end this end there.

But he's like, he's like, yeah, this driveway wasn't, I know, you can just end this end there. Just end this end there. But he's like, he's like, yeah, this driveway wasn't built. So I'm so to beat him, I like cut through this yard over here, it's insane. Like right here, but I didn't beat him. Sheps like. Why am I not surprised you didn't beat him. But of course, Austin is that kid who races back from lacrosse practice and drives across your yard

in some stupid suburban race. Yeah. Yeah, I was really racing towards Cattillion. Let me tell you, that was really a rebellious day in my life. Oh, so yeah, chef's like no one thought you'd be there. Don't worry. And I was like, yeah, and what time? I rolled the out, I don't mean it, and it got me.

And I'm like, I used to rollerblade this cold sack. Like, I was like, the cold sack rollerblader. They're like embarrassing awkward. Oh God, imagine just Austin just doing like, triple luxes and they call this sack. So, he's like, no, I was a cool rollerblader. I was, ugh, so they walk in and Wendy's like in the kitchen. She's got like the whole deli, the whole deli stuff.

Because you know, anytime anyone comes over, she puts out all those meats. She's ready to go, you know? So she's got it all set up and there's egg salad and chap is like, well, I'm normally not that much of a neg salad person. Well, give it a try. So he like takes a bite, whatever.

I was like, you know, he wants it to puke it up, but he was being very polite. Oh, yeah, that's shit. Fucking polite. So Craig is, you know, immediately putting everything in his mouth. And Wendy's like, so what do you want on your sandwich, turkey? Yeah, do turkey. You can jazz it up. I'm like, yes, Wendy. Jazz it up. Want. I love that. Jazz it up with some Dijon A's. It's kind of like Dijon and mayonnaise mixed together. You ever had a spicy pickle? Yeah. You got another thing coming, boyfriend.

Have a sandwich. You have everybody jazz up this sandwich. Hit him boys. But thousand island on a sandwich. Mom, that's crazy. You can't put islands on a sandwich. She's insane right now. So Austin talks about how there were good times in the house,

but there were also dark times and a truly dark, you know, because his sister, when they were little, died falling off of Shimi Rock, which we see a clip of him, oh God, I've got vape juice all over my finger. But such a terrible time to say that to you during a tragedy. Yeah. It was like a really bad time, you know, and he was telling Chelsea about growing up

and you're a little sister dying and stuff. And it really is sad. And what are you going to say? I mean, you're still an asshole, but it's a very sad story. I'm sad for the child's age. I'm sad for the child version of you. Yeah, I actually was like, because this is the person I am. I then looked it up on the internet

because I was like, I think it's more fascinating. Yeah, it's so sad. It's a very sad story. So, I'm not gonna, there's nothing more to it, but it just reading it, I was like, oh, that's sad. But I was just a little asshole. So then, I'm like, I'm gonna read the story. I was just like, I'm gonna be a

baby and pee. So the poor girl she fell off. So, um, so then, uh, they find Austin's old poetry binder and Chef reads out one of his poems. pistachio ice cream, grass, trees, leads, jello, my best green jacket lying in the snow and smelly cheese. Garsh, it's like a regular Joyce Carol Oates over here. Garsh. And Craig's like, okay, I got one. I'm gonna read one. Nipples, Harry, frightening, scary, couldn't come on phone with them all. Hey, that's for my, that's for my current notebook current nobody give me give me that back. Give me that back What's my fucking pockets Craig?

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm that Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking

about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So then we go over to Vanita, who's at home with her dog Charles.

I feel like she's trying to make Charles happen. I'm not ready. I feel like I'm at my limit with the dogs on Bravo. Are you? You're not even in here today. He sent that about you. He was not even going to come in for this recap today. No, it's just, I'm open to like dogs on Bravo,

but I feel like I could only see so many of the same type of kind of like small dog, you know. You mean dog variety. I do. I need like, well, isn't there like a really good new bravo pet right now? There's some pet that's happening right now that I really like. Isn't there a pet that we're like getting? The goat, misgoats.

On the outside. Miscoats, thank you. Like you need to go. Miscoats. But Vanita's one of those persons. Vanita's one of those people like with a dog, but then also a coffee cup, shaped like the dog's head and that she drinks out of.

Which is kind of fucked up. It's fucked up. It is fucked up. It is fucked up. She's like only to like and replace it with the real things. Like one cherry, one. So, but he does put her around her house,

her perfectly organized house, and she calls Olivia, and they're like talking about like, they're gonna like try to have a conversation to kind of like figure things out. Cause you know we go on the wrong foot, you know all that stuff. So Olivia's like, well, I would,

the thing about that party is that I would rather have not been invited to the Garden Party than to go somewhere where I felt like people didn't want me to be there. And yeah, here you are in my living room. It's not funny how that works. I'm feeling it is like, got it. You know, got it.

And I'm sorry that you feel that way. But, you know, we have to talk. You want to do it over lunch or caught. No, you don't have to talk. You guys don't even fucking know each other. What do you need to talk about? This whole thing is ridiculous. So Olivia's like, well, I can do happy hour if you want.

And she's like, hold on, Madison's calling. Because Madison has the spidey sense to know that she's about to be in some kind of trouble, right? So she's shook on Madison back. But Olivia's like, okay, so I'm heard you heard from, I'm sure you heard from Madison in that like two seconds that my family is like having like oysters, like checking party. And like I like had initially like told everybody like to come on that

guest list. But then like I just think it would be like fake of me to have you here. Oh fuck off. That's not even your party in your house. It's your pain. You can't even invite somebody your parents has a fuck off Olivia. Here we go with the new person immediately trying to decide who's going to be on the cast in these cast party shooting things.

I'm like not about this at all. And then especially, you know, you know, and Vitya is like, listen, I'm, you know, I've never had to deal with something so childish before. Like I'm a Southern girl, you know, if I'm at someone's house, I'm going to keep it cordial, especially someone's parents house, I'm going to keep it cordial. And like if there's issues I. You know, if I'm at someone's house, I'm gonna keep it cordial, especially if someone's parents are gonna keep it cordial. And like, if there's issues, I'll walk away. She's saying like this is crazy.

And it is especially crazy because if Olivia's whole thing, she doesn't want drama. That's what she said. She doesn't want drama. And of course, this is all stemming from the fact that Veneta dared to say the word, mentioned racism to Olivia.

And I think the thing that like really, one of the things that really upsets me is that Olivia's basically like, you started to throw around that label racist so easily. So almost like the implication is you were throwing around almost carelessly and that can do real damage. And therefore, I'm not gonna have you at my party

because I don't feel comfortable with someone who would do that. And yet, Olivia is totally, it seems to be totally fine with Katherine throwing around something so carelessly, doing that does real damage to people. And that's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, hold on, hold on. Now, hold on.

Katherine was not throwing around the word racism carefully. She was throwing racism around Careless, you know, you know, that's what I'm saying. Is it total double? It's like ridiculous. Yeah, that's fine. Now that all said bringing up Catherine's shit with Olivia from two years ago is stupid too. Like, I don't know that Vinita needs to be having this fight. Like, Vinita needs to be, this is her second season, and she needs more than that. She needs more than the, I was brought onto Yelik Hathrin or to be Madik Hathrin about

these text things so the producers can watch themselves of any guilt for keeping Hathrin on the show, which is kind of why I think she was originally brought on. She needs to watch that off of her and have a new season. And all I'm seeing so far is her trying to bring up this fight with someone who wasn't even involved with that and play with the dog and drink out of a dog head. So I think the movie is completely in the wrong, but I'm also not, I think Venita is making a bad choice on this whole thing to you. Now I mean I feel like this sort of like why does Venita not get down with Catherine and like her response is that and they're like oh my god like I can't believe you're bringing that up like why are you talking about racism you know I kind of like yeah a living in an asshole yeah yeah I think yeah video is like a living in an asshole let me try and explain it better because I know

I'm gonna piss people off. But yes, saying something to Catherine, just nothing wrong with saying something to Catherine, but having at this birthday party when everybody's sitting there and then being like, okay, I'm going to talk to you and then I'm going to talk to you. And your thing is about this racism thing that we've already discussed for a season and already ended. I mean, it's just like, you need more if you're gonna be on a show. It has to be more, that's all I'm saying.

Well, by guess what you know what also annoys me is that she's actually made an effort to actually move past that. She's like, listen, I just want to have a conversation and then Olivia's like, let's do happy hour, which is actually, you know, if you're not down with someone you're not saying, hey, let's do happy hour. Let's talk about it happy hour. You're saying, let's do lunch, let's do you're not saying, hey, let's do happy, yeah, we're let's talk about it happy.

We're saying, let's do lunch, let's do coffee. But you're like, let's do half, yeah. You're really pissed at yourself. Oh, but also you can't come to my party. Like that's such a... Olivia's an asshole. Yeah, and that whole thing last week of the, I can't believe you said racism.

You didn't even but her finish the sentence. You don't even know what she's gonna say. Yeah, she was trying to get to it. That's the thing is that I feel like actually, Venita was trying to get to a larger point, but because it got stopped there, it sort of sounds like she is rehashing, and I feel like she was trying to build onto something else.

But we'll never know. I mean, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, but people can give whatever benefits to whatever doubts that we want to give to, but that's the benefit of the doubt. I'm giving, okay? So either way, let's focus on the assholary at hand, which is Olivia with this bullshit that she doesn't want drama,

and yet she's also inviting Madison, the ex of the guy that she's sort of seeing, that she claims she's so sick of hearing about, so that party with the guy, which to be honest, like I've always been on Madison's side versus Austin, but this is like, this is kind of weird and shady in bullshit too. Well, Madison's cute little white blonde girl who's very popular and is on the magazine covers.

So Olivia wants, of course, wants to be friends with her while she fakes this stupid relationship with her ex-boyfriend to get a job on TV You know, yeah, Olivia's a piece of crap. Well, she also sees who has more personality. Let's be honest. She's like hmm Madison, I'd rather like at the end of the day she realizes there's no future with awesome at least she can have a friend in Madison Right, she's got it like if she's gonna stay on the show it's gonna be as a friend of the girls or as someone who's dating Austin So yeah, cuz it's certainly not gonna be as this weird stunted Child who's having parties with her parents like that's weird. I'm sorry. It's weird. So Madison is like, well, yeah, it's weird cuz like Austin hasn't seen me since I was engaged and you know

I'm in my prime and And you know, my news was on Amazon. And my news was amazing. So I hope that he'd be happy for the quick shipping of us. You know, I'm like, okay, you can start making this all of that Amazon and see if there's a turn on again. And Vinita's like, okay, but I've just never not been invited to anything. It's kind of weird, you know, and how does this girl

not want drama, but she invites Madison. Yeah. It's kind of weird, you know, and how does this girl not want drama, but she invites Madison. Yeah. She's right. What does just mean that the all of you is full of full of bullshit. So now we go back in as far as like I'm sorry. I've talked about it for 85 minutes so far, but I don't care. As far as all of this goes, you're on a fucking TV show. You don't get to just be like, I'm gonna have a cast party and not invite the main cast. That is someone who's part of the cast. It's not about your little feelings. And the conversation, last week, you have to have the conversation because you're on a TV show.

That's how it works, okay? And that's why it makes me so mad with Olivia because it's like she comes right on and automatically starts trying to block somebody from filming. And that person was here before you. So cut the crap. Yes, exactly. So now we go to Austin's parents house and they're getting the egg salad. Craig's like, I love the old day and the egg salad. That's an incredible move. Craig, your first loves old. Okay. Fucking those old. Do you remember when they went to that oyster thing Crayer first loves old Bay, okay? Fucking those old Bay. Do you remember when they went to that oyster thing at his parents' house?

He's like, you know what you do? You put it in the back with old Bay. That's what you do. He loves his old Bay. Sometimes I listen to crazy and love on repeat because I love old Bay. You should really try putting some Destiny's Child on that. That's really the classic ex-allet. All right. So they start moving and... I just want to say that, yeah, they're going to start moving, but like, I think the mom says

something like, you know, okay, like get your furniture, whatever. And the first thing Austin says is, I gotta get that bed frame. Like, that's, that's, that's the priority piece right there, the bed frame. Yeah, it's like this headboard is amazing, mom. Okay. He gets all this like, I mean, listen, waist knot, want not, but, well, he's like, he's claiming all this furniture. That's very kind of like old fashioned

and cheeky kind of, I don't know. It's like country mom furniture. Yeah, it's very like country home and live in. Yeah, and he's just like, oh God, I love this. I'm just like, can't wait to see if the final product that this has, is Bachelor pad. Yeah, so then there's a sad segment where they talk about his little little sister and I'm not spending

time on that because I don't like feeling things especially for people I don't like. So I'm going to back forward through that. And then they leave and as they leave Austin gets in the U Hall and he says, well, Basin and he goes, bad. This is like poetic. It's like me pulling out of the house in a U-Ha for the last time. I just thought it's like, please go.

Just go. Take the ugly bad and go. Okay. It's like, oh God, we finally got rid of that bed frame. Okay, we can take down the for sale sign. The joke's over. Yeah, it was, yeah, it was so poetic. Austin was like a regular goodwill hunting moment.

So, yeah, the mom's like, bye, there he goes. The last chapter in this old bay journey, you three that should have waited, didn't you? It's the last time I've ever making that damn egg salad. So then we get a chef's redemption. I'm going to take my nieces to ice cream, gosh! Garsh, which by the way, I'm like totally getting ice cream after this because of the stupid scene. So yeah, he takes his nieces, his percocious nieces to ice cream and the three of them get and the three girls get on the backseat.

And they're really cute and they're really smart and funny. One girl's like, I learned how to say, how to spell has today. He's like, gosh, How do you spell it? H-O-U-S He's like and what else one more She's like E that's right and guess who builds houses architects of your own demise

And one of them's like okay,, can you spell anamanopeia? Is that how you say anamanopeia? I'm not as smart as these children in the backseat, by the way, I just like to get that out there. I don't claim to be, because I tried to spell it, I tried to spell it five times, and I just keep getting the red line under the word.

It's a hard one to spell, to be honest. Like the version that I wrote down, like the spell check is like, mm, can't help you there. I know there's like some weird like P.O. Like I there's a weird like Yeah So chefs like how do you pass know all this job and they're like we got it school He's like yeah, I'm going to school. How come I'll kick down, and there are a couple of times? I like that the girl goes, yeah, we got to school, and we actually pay attention.

So, so meanwhile, Taylor, Taylor raises them with zero respect for shop. Yeah, uncles coming. Don't let them wear off on you. He's a goddamn moron. Didn't pay attention to school. And got kicked out.

Have fun. Try to teach him something. Don't let him eat with the used spoons again. You really want to see a vain pop out of an old forehead? Try and make him spell M&M and P. M&M and P. M&M and P. M&M P is adora.

So that tailor, meanwhile, she walks a little crag over to Olivia's parent's house and they like sit there to have like some chat and Olivia's talking about how she had her first one on one date with Austin and Taylor goes, did you guys define your relationship? I like Taylor. It was the first date. What are you talking about to find your relationship? God. That's all these people care about it. It makes me fucking crazy. Get a hobby. Your whole life should not be about like, who's going to marry me?

You think I'm gonna tell me you're all dating fucking idiot fuck boys. You met in bars that smell like fucking bar rot. Okay. And it probably done coke like five days of the week with these guys. These are not the people to marry. Either one. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. God defining, defining relationship. They're reading. What were they called again? Totshows. Okay. There's no, no conversation over Totshows goes to the place of defining relationship. Okay. She's read a book. My God. Have you, you know, have you done Pilates lately? There's a conversation. Have you ever Pilates lately? There's a conversation. Have you ever tried finger painting?

There's a conversation. What are your thoughts on existentialism? What do you think about Old Bay and Egg Salad? Yeah, wow, that's a power move. So the Taylor is basically talking about Olivia's asking a Taylor and Shepherd on the same page in the future. And Taylor is like, no, talking about like, Olivia's asking if Taylor and Shep are on the same page of the future and Taylor's like, no, and he's even said, I don't think marriage is in the cards

and I don't see myself burping a baby at three in the morning. Leave him, Taylor. Like, there, you just got your answer for what to do with the next step for your relationship. Leave this man. Oh yes, make cause choking and death and you're like swallowing the drain out, you know, like if you put like a little umbrella, a little umbrella in the drain out tube to drink it comfortably.

So she's like, yeah, I just wish it was some 30 year old guy. Like, you couldn't find himself, but like he's 40 something and, you know, I just, I just don't know. And I see his siblings all do it. So I'm like, why can't you do it too? And I have to say Taylor makes me crazy because she's wanting something from shop of all people. It's like raise your goals, you know?

But also, God, she is a stoner in this diary session. I was like, wow, boom. She deserves someone that actually like appreciates her. I feel bad for her. Well, first of all, they broke up in real life. So that's good. But like I feel bad that she's hanging around for so long because I feel bad for people who have,

who think they're gonna like fix or change these, these broken vessels. Yeah. I just project because I've done it so many times. You know, I'm like, do all nothing's gonna change, run. You need to fix something, start learning how to grow up tile, you know, like that. Yeah, Taylor and Caleb can have a home run-out show together.

Yes, you know, you can't fix them in, but you sure can fix a bathroom. You know, so that's just a show. Can't fix it. It's just like way too long. Can't fix man, but you can fix it dot dot dot. Coming up today on C F T M B Y C F B. What does anybody ever tweet at us? We can't remember the hashtag. It's too long. It's easier to spell on a monopoeia.

On a monopoeia. I'm gonna say that 20 times. In the name of P.P. On a monopoeia. On a monopoeia. On a monopoeia. Bam. What is it?

We on a monopoeia. Bam. What is it? We on a monopoeia. Bam! What is it? What is it? Bam! It's a word that sounds like it is. Bam! Bam!

Poop! Oh, okay. The word is it sound the sound that makes is the word It's okay. Okay. Now I got like a special definition because there's probably someone out there and a tweet jack up You like actually the definition of onomatopoeia. It's an armadillo that we're top hat I mean that would be in the man appear Stop it! I remember it would be, I remember an apia. Okay, there's no, okay.

On a monopia, the naming of a thing or action by vocal imitation of the sound associated with it, such as buzz, hiss, or garsh. Garsh. Okay, so speaking of garsh, we go to chat at the ice cream store with his kids, his nieces. And he's like, oh, the kids are like, can I please have a chocolate chip? Thank you. Thank you. And please, I'm just going to add another

please there for fun. God, that felt good. May I please have a chocolate? Please, thank you. Um, and then it gets to shape. He's like, I won't one of those damage stupid bitch. My God. Why are the kids the only people with the manners, you know? Yeah. And so he's like, guys, I'm going to try this mint chocolate chip right now. And he reaches into the use spoons. And the girls are like, um, you're using a use spoon. And he's like, gosh. And he like puts it back and she's like, um, it's like puts it back. And she's like, it's in big old black letters, Uncle.

Oh, so they start taught, they ask him if he got good grades. And he's like, oh, I did. But the comments I got from my teachers were really funny. One teacher's comment said, please don't send this guy to school anymore until he gets real teeth. It's not safe to eat apples with wooden teeth. And then another teacher said, whoa, cars, chef thinks he can get through on charm alone. Da, da, da, he doesn't have that much.

Oh, and this other teacher said the year was 1962 and the Mekong Delta was becoming a hot bed of activity. Oh wait, sorry That was from the Vietnam War a documentary in nine parts by Ken Burns. No So he's like, oh, it's I'm not perfect and thank God for the mother raising these little girls because one of them guys Is that youred for everything? I was like yes They're like okay, well We found we found the new camera and just chef steas That next episode she's gonna show up. You like a shepherd. I use to like down yet

Of course you're not even out of fourth grade yet because that is the ultimate fuckboy thing to say I'm not perfect and I'm so glad these little women are armed with that already Like is that just your excuse for everything? I know those girls are set. They're gonna be great And I I'm fingers crossed They're not gonna try to fix any man in their life They'll just know what they want and they will when they someone doesn't live up to their standards They will just move on. That's my hope for them. Yeah.

So he's like, well, it's a good excuse, you know, and my problem was always that I just waited till the last second to do everything and I would put everything off. And one of them's like, you can change that, you know, I'm too old to change. And she goes, well, you could have. She's like, I'm going from inspiration to guilt. So. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So now back to Taylor.

Taylor is talking to Olivia. She goes, you know, she makes me very happy, but my trust, Luka Whale, was breached. And Olivia's like, well, you know, it's funny because it's Saturday when we were in halls, you saw someone, and she goes, yeah, I was that girl that he made out with. I just see her. And I'm triggered. Well, wait till you find out how many people he's been fucking. His Craig made it sound like he's been, that being this has been all over the place. So you're not going to be able to go out in public seeing you're not going to be able to go get a glue gun at the

hobby lobby before you know it dump this man. So she's like I'm not a jealous person unless you cross me. And she said you know if that ever happens again you know what I'd say? I'd say, Chef, I'm sorry for you. I'm sorry for the person who you are. And Olivia's like, good for you. You go girl in your hypothetical, which you haven't done yet. I know. So I feel like so she could, she potentially feel sorry for who the person's chef is deep down inside, but she doesn't feel sorry for that person just yet. Right.

You have to go past that. You have to go. You have to get that thresholds. Just quite feel sorry for who he is deep down inside. But if he cheats on me six times, oh, then we're going to have a real problem. So then we, and now it's time for the oyster party. And Olivia's mom Robin is, she's got her cocktail in hand. And in hand and she of course is just she's overseeing everything in like this very chirpy way but you know she's like totally you know like a secret monster

she's like oh look at beautiful oh hi oh look a paper tanner I heard good such good things about you from Nika's party and oh does this table get son right here what if we want to tuck it back in should we tuck it back in a little bit just tuck it right in yeah okay good now it back in a little bit? Just tuck it right in? Yeah, okay, good. Now it's out of the sun. Okay, good. I bet it's supposed to be cushions on that cow.

Show that it's fun. I'm not really sure. What are you serving me right now? We got good recommendations from Mayo, Mason, they used their, you and her party, so hopefully here is a good good and have what a ginger. All right, I got a ginger, cranberry,

pick a dealing. Oh, I don't know. Oh, oh, oh. It's like she's judging the drink. I was like, the fuck outta here. And then she starts, you know, swelling the oysters and stuff. It's like her first experience

with a Bravo Peyton or party, you know? She's like, I can eat this too. Do we ever find out again about those cushions? I know I just asked about two minutes again. I think I'll tell them. I think I'll tell them about the cushions. They're missing. Okay. And Olivia's like, my mom is like the perfect host like. Like she hosts like Christmas, Easter, Independence Day. Anything Jesus is involved in pretty much Yeah, so then now everyone's getting ready for the party which means we get to see Austin shirtless shaving which is great and then Pringle trying on a shirt

He's like, oh, well, I guess we're on episode six or seven so I should trip it on a new shirt So the same sticky one up and went around town. I like that he like plays with his nipples and he's like, that's not going to work. Change is it. It's like it doesn't work for his nipples. It's like this guy. See if this guy wasn't so troubled, he would be main cast. That's what I need from this cast. Yeah, exactly. And then Taylor and Shep are gonna be wearing matching lemon outfits and Taylor's like, Taylor's asking Shep if he likes her dress and he goes, oh, you're kind of a lemon because a lemon's a car that you want to return

because it's broken. She's like, how? Yeah, but a lot of lemons are turned, just turned out to be things you just don't know how to drive right. I just want to say for the record lemonade. I think at this point does qualify as old Bay. So As of actually literally today, it is now officially old.

Is there a fairly recent Bay in this egg salad? Is there a new bay? You won't break my soul. Support there like, oh my god, look at the mom is asking about cushions. Frangles playing with his nipple. Sarah's a party going. It's like, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba,'m just here with Charles. I'm like, I love you. Doesn't know who Charles is. What are you talking about? Stop trying to make Charles a thing. Yeah. Virtual active anger. I'm a true person. We're the dogs. No, but like, you mean me and my dog. Like, we're fine. We're fine. Don't worry about

us. But like, you give her your parents. No, if you look, if you're talking to Olivia for the first time, you would say, I'm just here with my dog, Bueller. You don't say I'm here with Bueller. Do you? Okay, I don't know. I'll keep an eye out on that in my own personality. I just felt like Vanita is really pushing a Charles thing. I'm not totally there for it. You're not up with Chuck. Vanita, yeah, opening packages. Plus her opening packages plus her cycle she gets to do.

And then we go to Caleb and Catherine and the car who I guess they're back together now. And he's like, oh, I can't wait to get oysters. And she's like, me too, if that season isn't man. You know, by the way, last week I had a rant about Alice in Wonderland. And I just want to add that as part of that movie is a totally bizarre story that makes no, doesn't have anything

to do with anything else about a bunch of oysters. If I get eaten by a walrus and the walrus is like sidekick, and it's like a bunch of baby oysters and the mama oysters like, don't follow that walrus. And they're like, no, we're gonna follow the walrus and they all get eaten and killed. And there's no outcome and has no impact on them. It's just like a fucked up oyster story in the middle of that movie.

Yeah, that's crazy. But the whole thing can't be about some hooker who robs everybody. Goes into places where she's not invited. We also need a family slaughter. Can we get that in their walls? Can we do that? It? Well, it was like, it was like, this is like the euphoria high school of oysters or something like that.

That's kind of like bad, bad decisions. So, um, clip, do we see a clip of them having dinner and him saying, I just, I want to come back home and she's like, where are you? So I can't, can't believe they cut that scene. So then Catherine's like, you know, basically, they're just like slime pickings and Charles Dan. And this is like the closest thing to a relationship I've found. So I guess I'm going to just keep in.

Wow. Could you write that down to use this? Your wedding bells? That is. I know. The romance. Should we submit this to the Charleston tourism board come to Charleston and have your standard is lowered. So then Pringle Pringle shows up at the party.

Of course, like he goes directly to the cocktail, like the greeting cocktails. Like, oh, what must stick one of these? these I guess I'll take when I heard there's some Some cocktails around I guess the mile take two or three maybe just went on to walk back here. Okay cool. Yeah We made somebody's birthday and he goes I heard and he goes, I heard. I was just taking Pilates across the street and I saw this lady here standing with cocktails. I thought, come on over. Hey, someone told me I'd meet you. I hope that went well. All right. Do you know if there's a tap here and where what direction I can take that into

got a roadie to wait in line? So. So then, um, Marcy and John arrived, which is fucking Marcy. I can't. Okay. Yes, Marcy, you're fucking pregnant. Okay. What's the first thing she does?

She walks in and goes, yeah, girl, often mean oyster shooter and a shot. And I said, two things I can't have because I'm pregnant. Yes, Marcy, we. Yes. Marcy. We And then they offer me a ham and cheese sandwich strike three. So then, so now, Shep and Taylor arrive and they're lemon outfits and Shep's like, we look like geeks. And there's just like a lot of people showing up, et cetera. And Catherine, Catherine's there. She's hunking Olivia.

And Olivia's like, well, I guess I'm not really surprised. I know she can go back and forth with her thoughts and opinions on things. And Caleb being one of them, zing. Yeah, during this Olivia thing, I wrote nothing's ever going to happen on this show again. Like, is this like the credits just keep rolling at the end of the movie and you keep waiting for something to happen?

But then they're like, no, we really didn't have anything. We just wanted to keep the credits rolling. So we just showed people talking without sound, you know? So yeah, Olivia is like, yeah, oh gosh, I guess I better say how to Austin and like his doofy like pants like and Austin's like, oh yeah, well, me and Shep from the Constantly. So you can see that because I've got like on Sam pants. So I don't know if anybody can see that. And then Craig walks in with the sweater on his shoulders. He's like, yeah, like I'm probably baby. So that's what I'm doing.

And then Robin sees Shep and his lemon outfit. She's goes, Hi, Shap. I'll have a lemonade. Get it? Cause you weren't lemons. Lemons, they make lemonade. You know that expression when life gives you lemons. How does the rest of that go again? Okay, I'm gonna go find those cushions. So Pringles telling Austin,

Hey Mr. Pring fans, you got a big swing and dick and those fans don't ya? And he's like, oh, I made a choice. I made a choice, I stuck to it. Prickles, well the invitation said dress like an asshole and you said, by God, I am going to do that. Anyone want to refill? I'm just going to hit the bar over there.

So them love us shows up with her husband, that to spell the rumors that were being spread by you, Ben. Ha ha ha ha. The rumors that I created. Oh, but I created, sorry. So he's still there. So they come and we find out that Chef loves Minnionette. So that's something. It's an action tax show today, guys.

We were actually going to name Olivia Minnionette, but we decided to live you at the last second. And then we figured Minion, that has both the words man and no women and that was just bad luck. Then we got back to Pringle and he's like, oh, so I didn't get it. Even about to charlotte, we'll talk about that all steam and Austin's like, no. You know what I'd like about Pringle? I like that you can tell that very thinly, the heat does not like Austin, right? Like I think last season they had some friction, but Pringle clearly thinks Austin is like a piece of shit.

And it's so thinly veiled and I kind of love it. I kind of love Pringle I kind of love Pringles kind of like alpha male condescension towards Austin and how Austin doesn't quite get it. That's just like it makes me, it's very satisfying to me. Yeah. Pringles like, I didn't do anything today, but make a sign that says, well, work for beer and I'm still better than you. So yeah, pretty much. So then Madison arrives and then the music is like all of a sudden,

like Christopher Nolan is like, wow, they did do that. They do the movie. It's like inception. Wow. Wow. It's like, hey, I say hey charles it is upside down Gosh this hallways rotating

I just had a family oysters So Austin is immediately bothered you know, he is just so like twitching and His mouth is you know giving a monologue that His mouth is, you know, giving a monologue that his tongue won't agree with. And Madison says, I had a prank doll and stuff. And he's like, oh, this one was like, congratulations on Mary. And, you know, getting married soon. I'm gonna send to that is something. Man, it's something. And Austin's like trying to ignore her and everything.

So he's like, he's like making conversation with Katherine. He's like, oh, so what insane things have you been up to this week? She's like, well, Kay Leibinock got back together and you know, it happened like yesterday and it was actually really good because and she's like sharing actually something personal in her life and he's just not listening at all. He's just like, just staring across the room. He's staring,

and Madison. And so Austin's like, yeah, so Austin goes to the bar to get a drink. And Madison's there and he goes, oh, I'm just gonna make my drink and make my exit. How about that? I'm just gonna go to drink and make my exit. Well, she's like, wow, why didn't he make it awkward,

and I was thinking, and Madison's like, yeah, why didn't you make it awkward, Austin? And captain's like, yeah, he really made it awkward right now. God. And then Austin just walks away, he goes, whatever. Why is Madison here? Okay, after all the shit that I've said to Olivia, why would you invite this person around?

Like you're not gonna be friends with my ex. Now I'm like, okay, this is like one of those things where you're not gonna be friends with my ex. Now, I'm like, okay, this is like one of those things where like you guys are both just rib assholes, because if if Olivia was truly interested in Austin, it is a weird move to invite his ex who he still can't get over. But at the same time, Austin, you've talked about her so much. Olivia is probably just not that interested in you anymore. I'm just rather have Madison there because she's more fun. So Shut up That conclusion shut up

Yes, and again it goes back to shooting things It's like he's mad that Olivia is keeping this girl on the show when he's not dating the girl giving her the right to be on the show You know it's such an asshole. So chef is like Oh look at me stepping in the pool with my shoes. Whoa, my shoes are waterproof. The fuck out of that pool, okay? I don't even like this lady. Don't put your dirty ass shoes in her pool, get out of there.

Yeah, so then, well, he has a whole job. He goes, they're waterproof. Actually, I'm waterproof too. I'm gonna pretend like I'm jumping in. Just kidding. So then Whitney and Patricia arrive. Patricia's like, where's the bar

and this tiny hovel of a home, right? God, it's so nice to be with the pause. Mm-hmm. Wow. Talk about it, Ken Burns documentary. When was the last challenge, Whitney? So they come over and everybody's hugging and Naomi, Naomi and Whitney are talking to Craig. And Naomi's like, you look not a call.

And he's like, yeah, same to you. Okay, you know what not a call means? It means you're not an I-cal calendar. So then, Not a call. It's not what not a call is, Craig. You look very centropa. So Whitney's like,

so are you up? She's supposed to be like, damn, Tucket. We're Martha's been here. It's like, what's going on with you? He goes, what should I be? Chad Tucket, where Martha's been here. It's like what's going on with you? He goes, what should I be? Oh, Chad Tucket. Chad Tucket, because you look like your name Chad. And you might be one in that Tucket.

But you don't look like your name is actually Dan. So you're just like Chad Tucket. Chad Tucket, mother, mother, did you hear the white joke about Chad Tucket? Yes, Whitney, I thought it sounded very funny, very funny. Yes, Whitney. It's hot. It's out of very funny. Very funny. So, um, Naomi's walking around looking all gorgeous. I think Catherine's like, Oh, God, I think I just heard Whitney.

I'm like surprised. I'll live you invited Naomi. And she tells us, I just think Naomi looks happy as a clam bitch. But she does look nice. And her nose is fine. And she has a great tan all the time and I don't. It's like a weird spiral. It's like a semi spiral, like a light spiral. It's like a casual, like a very small spiral staircase. Yeah, I'm in the editors putting in a good,

there's like, they wait a beat and then they go, ats, self-diss, self-diss. So then Caleb's talking to this lady. She's like, some like a middle-aged lady and he goes, hey, I'm Caleb, nice to meet you. It's spelled like, shh, shh, lab. And she goes, oh, shh, lab, say, bowl. He goes, yeah, it means bread and bread.

Well, which is already, first of all, I'm already like a muse, because this is before I know he had Caleb's an asshole. So I'm just like a muse that he just like struck at the conversation with like Sue. You know, she's like, Hi, I'm Sue over at the, at the hors d'oeuvres. And she's like, oh, say, bold.

He goes, actually, it means bread and Russian. She goes, how? Huh, where are you from? Now, Flas and, Oh. He starts cracking up. So then Craig goes up to Madison and he gives her a kiss and she's like,

Oh, my kiss and now. And he's like, I don't know. I just feel like back to my college roots, like, look at me. I haven't dressed preppy in a long time. She goes, Yeah, well, thank you have a good girl who knows how to dress you.

Yeah, I know this is all me, and I like to impress her. I even paid a half off for this. I think, no, I paid full price. Hold on a second, I'm getting a phone call. Craig, did you just say to someone that you paid full price for something? Because I can hear that I'll say, but you don't.

Sorry. Oh, Craig, you've owned those pants for seven seasons. Who do you think you're kidding? This is a visual show. We can see you. I love Craig declaring that he hasn't dressed preppy in such a long time. Like, yeah, you know, yesterday I wore a boat shoes and a sweater for my shoulders and a pillow shirt, but I was wearing jeans, so it was basically grunge. So Austin is now talking to Naomi and she's like, what's wrong, Austin? And he's like, oh, look, he invited my ex on, you know, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what am I supposed to go congratulate her? I kind of know she shouldn't be here anyways, like what the fuck?

She's like, by the way, the answer is yes, you should go congratulate her, you asshole. And Naomi is like, at my house, you guys were cool, you're traumatized. Yeah, she's like, well, look, it's gonna suck for a little while and then it's gonna be over. Okay, and uh... So, it's going to suck for a little while and then it's going to be over. Okay. And it's like sex with you. It's going to be horrible. You're going to have to helicopter it for a little while.

It'll barely get inside of you. It'll somehow splooge and then it'll be over. Okay. So that Whitney and Patricia are making a small talk with Olivia's parents and Patricia's they're like, you know, so how long you like, you know, they'll use you to dad's like, we love it here. It's like, what's not to lie? Horacans.

Are you from here? Oh, I lived in New York for so many, many, many years and when I moved down here all my friends said hurricanes earthquakes volcanoes Tidal waves Holes vortexes to hell that opened up under Main Street Thomas Ravennell But of course now the two major earthquakes hit New York City and I look like I'm a genius. Ha, ha, they're all coming down here.

So then Austin is talking to Taylor and they're talking about this little dog, this cute little teacup dog that's walking around and Austin's like, look at that pot belly pig dog. Like that dog's got a big dick and she's like, that's a nipple, that is a girl dog. I'm like, ah! Dup, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and Craig's like, well, like I didn't think that Olivia was friends with Madison. Why is Madison here?

And Pringles, like Austin, I heard you haven't congratulated on her engagement. And you know what, buddy? I think you should, I think you should, buddy. And Craig goes, did she ever apologize to what she did to Austin, which is like so ridiculous. And Catholicos, it doesn't matter. Just be the bigger person like I am every episode of this show.

It'll make you feel so much better. And Merce is like, you don't have to just, you don't have to say just say like congratulations and then walk away or a waddle if you're like me because I bring that. So Austin then tells us the fact of the matter is there were or a waddle if you're like me, come back pregnant, you're crying, you're crazy. So Austin then tells us, the fact of the matter is, there were real feelings there. And when she got engaged, it really hit me and it really hurt. And I didn't think it would hurt so much.

I'm like, well, congratulations that you're hurt, but it's not about you actually. It's about that she found someone that she wants to be married to. So congratulate her like a grown up. Yes. So they just keep cutting to Olivia and Madison talking and they're so funny because it's just first it's like them like, how are you gonna keep you with you? Oh my God, you're cute too. And it's like, combing finger combing each other's hair like, oh my God, look at

your hair. It's like sitting Olivia sitting on Madison's lap. I was like, wow, you guys are really going all the way for this let's enrage Austin moment. Yeah, and Austin's like, the fact that Madison didn't give a shit enough to tell me that she was getting engaged, it felt like a big, final fuck you. And I didn't ask him to say that she did say it tell him

and that he was like, you could do better. Or was that not about the engagement? No, I don't think it was about the engagement, but I love that he considers that a fuck you, but he doesn't consider her going on Amazon, the shopping network, to literally say, he's the least important person. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Yeah, there is that. I forgot about that. No, it's not the literal fuck you. That was the biggest fuck you. There's no fun. No one else I want to think about in my life. Fuck you. Yeah. But Amazon, I hope you enjoyed all the scarves I showed you.

If you ever want to strangle somebody with it or hang them from a bridge, just pick your host and like I do every time I roast them out of white marshmallow or start setting on fire or imagine people's cars you know falling into volcanoes. Oh they said that what happened in Charleston but guess what happened in New York instead. So let's see so now live 11 This is so bad why are we talking about some Madison's like party? Oh my god, but I can't help it. I can't help it It's okay Ronnie. It's okay Madison's like so Olivia I know you invite the need to and Olivia's like no, I didn't invite her in the first place So it wasn't an uninvited and so she's like just, you know, I didn't want to be fake.

I don't want part of my girl. You look so good. You look so great. He too. You look so, I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad to be here. Anyway, like I was saying, I just didn't want to be fake. You're such an asshole, Olivia.

You are such an asshole. You are such a fake asshole. Over here kissing asked to the famous one, you know, chicken on TV and they're pretending to date somebody to get on TV, but won't be nice to the only person of color on TV. You're an asshole. So she's, so love us like, well, I mean,

it's not like you guys have this big history. I mean, it can be resolved. And Pringle's like, hey, it's me, Pringle, he'd lighten the moon, just wanted I never wonder now there is a tap, news is tap right over there. Like that's a garden hose, Pringle. Oh, well, so be it. So then meanwhile, Austin and Craig decide they're going to shock gun a beer. And so they're like work, they're going to like do the shot gunning, they're going to

like Austin's going to like use a fork to jam into it. So like, I guess Craig has given him a fork and I was like, dude, there's food on this fork, which is kind of funny that we have, dirty utensils is like an ongoing theme for this episode. Yeah, you're right. Like the spoon, the spoon back it, not the fork back it. So there's shot gunning beers,

because it's such a charm. Like what else would they do? So then the girls have a shot, the guys have a shot, the guys are all burping after their shots. So then the dad is talking to Catherine, like, how were the kids, honey? And she's like, Oh, great, they've gotten huge. And then their dad's dad's camel toe. What do you call it? Moose necklace. They're not still has a moose necklace.

So there's that. Yeah. So Austin, when I want, he wants to talk to Olivia about what the fuck is going on. So Austin is like, Olivia, are you leaving? Which is a weird thing to say, because it's her party. She says, now, let's talk.

Like, what the hell with Madison? I'm like, sitting here watching the five of you all be like, ha ha ha ha ha. Like, oh my gosh, I felt slighted. Like, what the fuck is she doing here? I'm like, okay, so Olivia, okay. Olivia, it is fucked up that Olivia invited Madison, but it's also fucked up the way Austin is talking

to Olivia right now, because at the end of the day, she gets to invite whoever she wants, even if it is, even if she is doing something shady. Yes. And she's like, why do you care? And he's like, no one I'm friends, no one is going to be friends with my acts. Like no one I'm with is going to be friends with my acts. You just told her you didn't want to be with her.

Have you spent an hour and a half bitching about Madison to her on your dance? Okay. And so she says that to him basically. And she's like, oh my God, we're not even friends. Like, that's where we like disconnect. Like, I don't know what part of finger calming her hair, telling her I love her and sitting on her lap, made you think that, Austin.

I just don't wanna be fake. I just don't wanna be fake, but she's not my friend. And so she tells us, she's like, you know, like inviting Madison is just like the kind seven thing to do with other white people. Exactly. I was at her party. So she's at my party. It's not like we have things in common or just wine.

We're white. We're white. Austin. Well, that's two. That's two. Yeah, that's exactly right. Because by the way, you were also a Venita's party. By the way. So Olivia is like, I'm just waiting for the way, you were also a Venita's party, by the way.

So Olivia is like, I'm just waiting for the day when you don't care about Madison. Okay, let me know when that happens because I cannot stand how present she is in our conversations. If you think about our date night, we went through appetizer, entre, talking about that shit.

We went from taught shows to taught states, okay? Talking about her. To top Sundays, okay? Top days talking about that shit. I was like, you guys had a three-course meal and had to listen to Madison that entire time. And it also make you sweat the check because I know that he did probably that though. So Olivia's like, well, we are gonna see each other and have conversations. You need to figure that out. So she's like, he's not gonna tell me who to invite

to my parents party. That's not gonna fly. So now Madison's leaving, blah. And then awesome, he goes up to Craig. He's like, God, Olivia's driving crazy. Now she's like, BFF, so madison. She's like, hey guys, let's just like force pretend like everything's okay.

Ugh. And Craig's like, yeah, but that's like the mind fuck of Charleston. Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh. Buh.

Like for having me. Uh, no other city, like no other city is is like this where there's like access everywhere. Really? You don't think? You think Charleston is the only place where people date and break up and then see each other again? It's a fucking weird. It's a never ending circle of misery. When you fuck the whole town it is. Like you spend this much time going to fuck literally every person on the same street every night of your lives. That's just how it is. Okay, deal with it.

Yeah, exactly. By the way, I think that Olivia Summerin here mentioned that like, the other reason why Austin is so such like a douchebag is because he spent all this time just saying how he wants to take it slow. And then he's at the same time trying to tell her who she can invite to her party. So like point to a libi on that one. So then now Caleb and Naomi are hugging

and just like they're just like talking. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Finally, there's something happens in this episode. I'm like, bye. Now, like everything seems fine. Finally, there's something happens in this episode. And I'm like, bye. Yeah. Now, like everything seems fine. And Caleb has, we find out Caleb is known Naomi actually longer than he's known Catherine, okay?

And he goes, but Catherine holds grudges. And since I'm her man, I have to hold her grudges too. So I go, okay, whatever, fine. Yeah, if Catherine's not happy with someone, then I shouldn't talk to them. And this was my first clue, that, well, not my first, but today, my first clue today that he's totally full of it. He's like, yeah, then I shouldn't be talking to them,

but I don't know. She has problems with everybody. And then he does this like innocent look off to the side and just like gays is it nothing. I was like, oh, this guy's full of it So Naomi's like so how are you in Catherine doing and he's like well, it's really hard to like talk about that I don't know that I should talk about that So now Catherine is talking to Prinkle and they're kind of watching this go on and she's like why is Caleb talking to her? We don't like each other and he goes ha

larious talking to her, we don't like each other. And he goes, ha, hilarious. hilarious. How hilarious. Hey, do we know if they're gonna get a new keg for that tap? Just kind of, just doing foam right now. So then seriously, we do not like each other. And he goes, yeah, well, you know, I'm not good at drama at a party.

And she's like, me neither. I pay drama. Me while her eyes are like She's like dress like she's in the band of the opera She's like Okay, so Caleb is like Caleb's telling me me, like, the conversations are just, they're only about drama. And so, Niam is like, well, are you feeling overwhelmed? Because, yeah.

And he's like, you know, she's like, she's like deeper than what I am. Like, I'm not a shallow person. I'm a simple person. And while my friends are simple, and we just don't do the drama thing, like, I'm not a shallow person. I'm a simple person. And while my friends are simple and we just don't do the drama thing, like, I don't know, when you live with someone and then you just walk out for five days

and don't tell them where you are, I don't do drama. So when she comes home and talks about drama and stuff, I listen to like a certain extent and then I just like turn on ESPN and tune her out. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I think being a rounder is just like, I don't know. I don't know. She's so damn worried with her. And he's like, because she's my girl. And she's like, uh, she's telling us, is this a cry for help?

Like, what am I supposed to say in this moment? Leave her. How am I supposed to give him advice? Like, what the hell? So she tells him, you're a good person and you're having these feelings for a reason. And he's like, yeah, but like that's a relationship, right? She goes, no, it's not. He goes, yeah, well, I'm sure you and Mattuil went through stuff. And she goes, um, no, when I started filming like that, we broke up because we didn't need to be together anymore. It's like, uh, and when he cheated on you, I didn't cheat him. Like, yeah. I yeah I believe that part out yeah So so then they like go to the bar to get like a refill

Don't let me to a lot for two seconds. I'm like no, that's not the end of it man Yeah, so now he's like okay Caleb be on be real be honest like you don't need to deal with like narcissist like that like that Some and somebody who's so toxic because because clearly you know, you know, because it sounds like Caleb is saying like, this isn't good. And then Catherine is, meanwhile, Catherine's off the side being like,

Caleb, Caleb, he's ignoring me. Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. He won't even be able to find him. Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. He's ignoring me too. He won't even. My name. Hello, pal. He's in the morning, too. Now I'm just looking at this. Carol, Carol, Carol Salad's ignoring me to everybody. Hey, chicken, chicken.

I love chicken. Why am I talking to you? He's so ignoring me. So Naomi is like, what are you doing, Caleb? And she's like, he says, I feel like I'm the person here, put on this earth that can break her through this shit. That's what I feel like. She's like, okay, you have a savior complex and you're not that person.

Nobody can break people out of that. Yeah. And he's like, well, we'll see. She goes, yeah, we will see. So it's not a weird argument, but Kayla basically went over there and baited her into saying bad shit about Catherine, right? And it was like, what?

Why would I break up with her? Why would I break up with the person I just said is manipulative and horrible to other human beings and obsessed with toxicity? Why would I break up with somebody like that? How dare you? How dare you? So then Naomi like pulls Leva and it's like, I just had this crazy conversation with Caleb

and he doesn't like her. Like he does not like her. And Caleb runs to Catherine and goes, yo, Naomi's a shit talking seaword. I think he said the seaword. I think he did, yeah. It's like she's a shit talking cup fitness and Catherine's just like plowing down shrimp. She's like, is she? Yeah, she was basically

trying to manipulate me in our conversation. I'm like, so sorry that I said the seaward. Because don't be sorry. that is what she is. And my note says she eats a shrimp horribly. And then Naomi back to Naomi, Naomi's like, well, he's saying that like they're going through this and love it. It's like, well, first of all, that's not cool on his part. Like why is he talking to you about that? And then so back to Catherine, she's like, well, I did it? Luh, luh, luh, luh. Sorry, I was five shrimp in a row, but I don't know how long I'm gonna stay here. How did that end?

How did that end? And he's like, well, it ended with me not saying what she wanted to hear, so then we just ended it. Which is 100% not what that conversation was, by the way. And so, Naomi's like, oh, he's such a fucking liar. So he's trying to start a fight. It's like he says he hates the drama,

but he's trying to get Catherine going with Naomi. I'm like, what the hell? He literally, like, he's like, God, like, she only talks drama. And like, he sounds so miserable. And he says, I'm in it to save her, basically. I'm in it to break her out of her patterns. And Naomi's like, you don't have to do that.

It sounds like you're miserable. And then he goes over to Catherine and says, like, oh, she was trying to manipulate me. She's a fucking bitch. So she's a seward. What the hell? Like, that is so obnoxious. I was like, damn, I was really liking Kayla,

but he's an asshole. Yeah, he's an asshole. And it didn't even work. You're not even good at manipulation, dude, because Catherine just left. She was like, okay, let's go then. it didn't even work. You're not even good at manipulation, dude, because Catherine just left. She was like, okay, let's go that she didn't fight or anything. You didn't even get what you wanted out of it. And let us like, well, you just lost because there's nothing you're going to do

that you're not the asshole in the situation, right? Yep. Because he came to you, he betched to you, she's going to hate that he came to you. And whatever you told him, he's,, she's gonna hate you for that too. So we'll see. But she goes, this is grounds for war. And Leva's eyes are literally, like you see little ballerinas dancing around in her eyes.

She's so excited. Leva loves this shit. Yeah, Leva is going to be at the next group setting. She'd be like, Catherine, so Naomi was saying that Caleb's told her that he thinks that you're nothing but drama. That's what she's going to do. I just want to think we should clear the air. I'm a hostess. So there it is. Somehow we still go an hour and 15 minutes to talk about Southern

Charf. It's like this show was about white pants and moving a bed. Seriously. There you go. Everybody. Hope you enjoyed it and hope you have a great weekend this weekend. Come check out our videos and our bonus episodes if you need stuff for the weekend over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Not hotline number again just because why not? Why not guys? 3, 7, 2, 5, 7, 0, 4, 3. That's 2, 1, 3, 7, 2, 5, 7, 0, 4, 3. We will talk to you next time everybody. Bye! Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors!

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