Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: My Treehouse is Your Treehouse Live in Milwaukee

Episode Date: June 8, 2019

We're live in Milwaukee to break down the girls trip episode of Southern Charm. Kathryn gets flogged for tardiness, Cameran gets annoyed by her baby, and Craig watches Frozen. Enjoy! To hear this week's bonus episode catching up with Southern Charm NOLA and Project Runway and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Baltimore, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Sue, Sue, Studio. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Nancy, Cicen, Desisto! We love you guys drove up from Chicago. Oh yeah.

So we really thank you guys for making the trip to Chicago. So to pay it back, we're going back to Chicago in November. Those tickets are going on sale in like two weeks. So just stay tuned. Now you know I wait until we get on stage to start drinking so. Poor it's death. You guys are so nice in this town. My God, you guys are really nice people. And I'm from Texas.

I'll say how do a fucking lamppost? I don't even care. I'm like, ah, I'll like hug anything. And you guys put us to shame. You were so nice here. So nice. I wasn't the crosswalk today. I was walking.

And this lady, you know, like I was being a good person, not Jay walking. And when I finally, the walk sign came on, like I was walking and this other lady was walking the opposite direction. She goes, red rover, red rover, send me over. And I was like, she has been waiting to do the hat all day. As you probably does it every day in every crosswalk. And I was like, yes, I agree. Now coming from where we live, you know, we live in Los Angeles and so I'm always like, oh I'm so fat, these fucking stick figures everywhere, you guys eat here, so thank you. Yes. Thank you.

And I mean that in all sincerity. I was walking around all confident today. I walked like two blocks. I walked two blocks of Starbucks and I was, and you know, I'm immediately sweating. And everyone's like, I want to sit down. I had an omelette today, and there were cheese curds in it. I was like, what? I love this place.

Actually, the only way that it, because this is my dream, you know, that everybody in L.A. gets like chunky, okay? Like, I've been dreaming it for years. And so I'm kind of getting, it's not everybody but it's our Uber drivers. And I always sit right behind the Uber driver and then takes the, you know, leg, or me as longer legs.

And so I sit right behind the driver. Girl, I've been, I feel like I've given birth to two gigantic Uber drivers. I'm like, is my knees wrapped in my face? I've like stretched out, you know, it's like a stretching out machine. It's like two chubby guys just on some little log ride. There are also so many hot guys here.

Yes. Like that corn fed, this western sort of thing. I was like, damn. The whole world would have gay pride if they saw your gays. Yeah. Oh, happy pride. Happy pride, Milwaukee. Yeah, happy pride, Milwaukee. This. Yeah, happy pride Milwaukee God this place is amazing really beautiful. Yeah, I mean I walked I just said that I just want to say it again

Because it was hard so welcome to watch our crap in the podcast about all the crap on bravo that we just love to watch It's a very special day because it's Southern Charm. Yes, Southern Charm. Southern Charm, the show where nothing really happens, but we have 19 pages of notes. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. That's for you. Time. All right, you want to just start with the thing?

Well, first I'm going to enjoy a sip of my Paps Blue Ribbon. Did you do it? I did it. a passively ribbon. Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Did you do it? I did it. Woohoo! It was good. Buh-buh-buh! I love that.

Their musical openings are hilarious. It's just judgey-camera. Okay, so you know when people have babies And then they immediately become less of a monster because they understand what it's like to be shot upon You know what I mean? It's like snottie people they have a baby and then they're like oh, I got barfed on this morning I'll be nice to the people. Yeah, not Cameron and I love it That baby is not gonna break the bitch spirit. No. Alive and well in Cameron. No, no, absolutely not. She'll still judge right from the beginning.

She's like, well, here's what's going on. Catherine is at with the old and with the neat and the old man and he gosh can't afford. It's like, thank you. You know that that's what she's saying. You know, you can hear all the southern what she's really saying underneath what she's saying exactly So after Cameron does her a little opening we open up with Patricia being driven somewhere And she is she's wearing like all these patterns and feathers was like just in time for gay pride I was really appreciated that or a hobby lobby festival

Just in time for gay pride. I was really appreciated that or a hobby lobby festival Or one of those I feel like there should be some gay following her around with a glue gun at all times They're probably is and I'm not paying for your birth control Niva. Yeah So for those of you guys who are not up to date on Southern charm Patricia's new Her hair stylists is none other than this new lady, Madison. Madison La Croix. And I have to say, I don't know how Madison's gonna fair on this show because- But if you just hear that Madison reaction, G's. People were like, boo, it's bunch of chef fans, huh?

I love Madison. I want Madison to date every guy on there and cheat on him five times. That's what the men on this show deserve. You go, that's what the men on this show deserve. You go Madison. So Patricia's like, you know, my hair, I don't know. It's Madison, it's just not, something's not right. It's on this top part. It's just not right there.

It's on Madison's mind. And it's just not right there. It's somethings on medicines, my. I can feel it. My hand knows it all. For some reason, she's not able to concentrate. I was like, how many times does she need to give the editors the cue to put in that video of Austin Pullen is dick?

What? What? What? This is insane. You're insane right now. You're in insane person right now, Madison. You're insane. You're insane.

He goes back into his room. This is insane. I can't believe they didn't put it in there because they put that clip everywhere else, you know. So then we get a scene of Austin, you know, who really does fit in with this cast because he can make a whole scene out of just not being able to find his phone, you know. And he is like, he pops up from his bed, he's like, it's missing. This is insane right now.

Where is it? It's insane. It's like a dog sniffing his mouth just moving. Like, you know it's bad for Austin when he's getting the Craig at it, you know. Poor Craig. I know Craig's like the Renaissance man now, Visha. Speaking of which, Craig is now in his bathroom shaving. And he's like, awww.

Awww. He never finishes. I need... Just one stripe of hair right here. One stripe done at a time, you know? I need to wake up my brain cells. I'm like, why start now? He's like, I need to wake up my brain cells. So he starts drinking from the water from the faucet. He's like, now he's getting the kernel gizmo edits. But that's so they show. They're like, look at Craig.

What a lazy ass drinking from the sink. He's like, I need to wake up my brain cells. So he starts drinking from the water from the faucet. He's like, now he's getting the kernel gizmo edits. But that's so they show. They're like, look at Craig. What a lazy ass drinking from the sink. I was like, I need to wake up my brain cells. Now he's getting the Colonel Gismill edits. But that's so they show. They're like, look at Craig, what a lazy ass, drinking from the sink.

It's like everyone in the world, you know? But Southern Charm, they're like, I'm home! How can you believe it? It drank from the faucet. It's like, it's like, to read now the producer of Southern charm. You know Patricia is sitting at home watching that scene like. Sorry, I just have to get a good blank Patricia nod in there. She was only in that first scene, okay.

So I'll be adding her commentary into every scene from now. That was also the same look that Patricia gave us when she sat in the front row at our Charleston show. Every time she was like, then after we said, did you like it? She went, hilarious. So then Chelsea isn't work, which is crazy because it's like the only time you see that on this show.

It's like, oh, someone working! I know, it's shocking. How does she slip through the cracks? So she is working and the delivery guy shows up and he's like, how got a surfboard for you? It's festering chefs, you know. Yeah. Why did I write down festering?

Because I'm here in the beginning, when they were doing last week or previously, chef was like, you got to take care of this. You got to take care of this and break up with that girl Austin. You wanted to fester? It's just such an odd question for chef of all people to ask. It's like it's a word of the day. It's just gonna go around saying, oh, is this coffee

festered yet? I'm that guy ordering festering coffee. I've got a surfboard for festering chef. Okay, that explains that now. Said Chelsea's like, so chef said, I'm going by a surfboard, but I'm going to get a haircut. So about the surfboard in the haircut place. And he's like, yeah, that's what he said. Golly. So she said, that's good service.

And he's like, yeah, it is. I meant me. They can fucking surfboard for somebody. Does that? Then it takes up the whole couch. That's just inappropriate for the willow salon, okay? Does that. So then we go over to Austin. This is all, these are all like quick flashes. Now this shows who it settles in on Austin. He's like on his laptop at home doing who knows what? I'm porn hub. He's thinking you can talk because he's doing that. He's in the hoodie, he's doing that thing where he's like, a hoodie of morning.

He's like going through it. And then so Craig comes in, Craig's like, and he comes in and asks, like, God, come in like a freight train. Yeah, I'm being really active and productive today. Even the world went pillow at a time. Right, you sound thing. And this is obviously the day after they were cooked out of their minds, calling that girl from that bar.

Because they're both, you know, we all recognize that look. Yeah, I know you all do. Come on now. It's like you're just like, ugh, your face is like this. It looks like you're a dead person on a TV show. That's been in a lake for a week or whatever. You're like, I'm like, I feel like shit, bro. Also, I mean, I feel like we should,

I feel like it's very important for those people who did not watch Lesweets episode that we recreate what was like for a chef to console Austin. It gets better. And Austin is just like, no tears are crying but his mouth is sobbing. It's like, I've never gotten so much enjoyment from someone's mouth. And I will say that on pride, you know? Yes. Yes. And I've tried.

So Craig is like, Craig is like, yeah, I just want to be a good friend. So I wanted to get you something. They didn't have pride on the menu, so I just got you a sandwich. And then Austin's like, too, thank you. This is the best thing you've ever done for me. And then we get to see Austin eat. OK, you ready? This is what Austin was like eating a breakfast sandwich.

OK, ready? Yeah, go. It got it. So disgusting. Count with the men on these shows. Ben wanted to actually get a burrito. I was going to do, I was like, I'm going to commit to this bit. Yeah, that's a dedication to the past. I'll get it everywhere. This is fun.

I'm a closet eater, okay? I pretend I don't eat in public. I'm like, no, no, no, no, it's genetic. It's genetic. It's not for meeting. It's not for meeting. God hates genetic. It's not for meeting. It's not for meeting. God hates me. It's not for meeting.

So Austin's like a little worried that he's maybe overreacted about Madison's DMs to Danny's boyfriend Gentry. And Craig is like, dude. Good. I think she's a man-eater. Like, she will literally eat your flesh. It's scary.

Dude, your girlfriend had her friend text some guy because she's so good at not getting caught. Obviously not, because that's like the whole plot of the show, you know? And Austin's like, bro, here's the thing, there's the thing, bro. Am I ever reacting? He's like, no bro, God, no, you're not, he's like, are you sure? Because I still want to be like, no bro, no. And he goes, he just only has like three boyfriends, bro. And he's like, yeah, three boyfriends,

because the other ones didn't respond on Instagram, bro. And Austin's like, I'm just like really embarrassed that like, you know, I loved her and then she did that. I'm just like really embarrassed to put it in. And Craig just sitting there in the chair, just like laughing goes, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the hilarity that is girls. I'm like, no one knows what girls are thinking. Girls are crazy, right? Girls be like, DM-ing.

I'm like, you're drinking Bud Light at 11 a.m. I'm way fair, chair. So Austin's like, is he bad? I'm gonna miss her and craze like, no, people suck. What you know, Craig at least is like aware of the world, you know? And Austin's like, but I'm sad and Craig's like, bro, because they're all like, he's like, bro. We should watch Frozen. That's what I do when I'm sad.

Cut to Craig's during an actual ice cube. God, this movie is so good. Craig dancing around his living room to Frozen. Let it go. Let it go. Go. Yeah. If I were a snowman, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, no crag, wrong musical.

Do you want to build a snowman? I was like, I was falling asleep in the middle of every song. I was going to build a snowman, I got halfway through and I was like, it was a lot of work, but I went to the Bahamas and I'm like, back and ready to finish my snowman. I like that Austin is like, as much as it hurts me to say it, it's over. I'm like, you're not fucking Luke and Laura, okay? Like, no one cares. He goes clearly, she doesn't, she just, clearly she doesn't care or comes. Why is my brain doing

this to me when I'm talking about Austin? Because I'm watching you. It's weird, like. He's basically like, clearly she didn't, you know, care about me as much as I cared about her. I'm like, are you cheated? Oh, come on. It's Southern Charm. That was barely a blip. Yeah. Has he been arrested for like selling cocaine in office yet? Then he's got a way to go. Okay, this is Southern Charm.

Oh, I think I wiped my sweat on your thing. Sorry, there you go. You're welcome. Got 19 towels up here for people who can't see. OK, so let's see. So next on, the Willow's the Long. Willow's the Long. So Chef comes in.

And you know, because the Chef comes in so much to get a haircut, but he never really gets anything taken off. Which is, have you noticed how many haircuts he gets on this show? He's on there like every other week getting a haircut. So now the ranger is like, of course, of course. Every time he walks in the room. I feel like every time Charlie pushes his ear into his hair, it's going to be like slimer. Just coming out, like, mm-hmm.

So, you know, like, you got a delivery, dude. And he's like, It is. I had to get a 7-4. I'm a fat ol' guy now. Score, gars. So, they're talking about this whole DM situation with Madison, et cetera. And Charles is like,

So, if you seen the DM and Cheb goes, No! I'm not Nancy Drew or something! Gars! I'm not Nancy Drew or something, gosh. I'm not Nancy Drew. Your Madison's not gonna be coating my hair. After the way she betrayed my friend, gosh. Gah.

That is weird that he brought up Nancy Drew. I mean, can't you even go to like Jessica Fletcher? I mean, just a little more recent. Jesus. I'll never know a little more recent. Jesus. I'll never know what's in the clock tower. And Chelsea, because chef's like, you don't have to wash my hair, or it's already washed it before it came, okay?

And Chelsea's like, okay, well, now watch out, this mop feel funny. She gets to spray things, sprays it in his hair. It's like, she knows he's lying, you know. Please tell her what was that? It's water. Water on your head, Jack. Please tell your lies. It's about to rain a little bit. Thank you. So she's like, yeah, often so upset about message on Instagram, but he's not too upset to have a through some honor And she's like, of course, oh yeah, and then we get this clip. We've never seen it before

This was amazing that they showed this What you're seeing what Oh. Oh. Oh. When you know you're on Instagram, you know, he sees that phone, he's like, come on. Come on. You can do it, get bigger, buddy.

Madison. Madison. So she's like, listen, she could have walked away after that. No one would have blamed her. And she's like, how can you be so upset over an instrument when you've been chained all time? But she decided to make it work and that's the difference. He has a penis, okay.

That's what makes the difference. Now as I have one too, I would like to keep that fluid throughout my life as well, you know. Just that might discus me for anything, you know? Yeah. Get pulled over. I have a penis. How dare you!

So Chelsea goes, you know what, to me, you get what you give and Shep goes, okay, go on, I'm like, Shep, that was it. I don't think it needs further elaboration. Every Christmas, every gift Shep opens for Christmas is like a herpy store or like, I don't know, like one of those little syphilis bugs they show on the billboards in West Hollywood. The next syphilis is back and it's like, this cute little worm, possibly a worm spider. I know, they make them so warm and fuzzy.

Where can I get one of those, mom? Ha ha ha. Has a little hat. We can have an American flag on it. So, Chelsea's like, if you want a girl who won't cheat on you, don't cheat on the person you're with, do better and you'll be better, you'll find better.

And Sevgas, yeah, well, I mean, that's true, but the three of them was forever ago. How was it four months ago? That was before the current season of American Idol, gosh. You shouldn't break someone over the coast for the whole life, Gars. I was like, that's true, but you can at least rake them over the coast for a quarter. Yeah, place them gently on the coast. So it's like, gosh, you're the only chill person he's ever dated, and she's like, well, we're all heard from Madison. Oh, yes, Madison is coming into play ball now.

Yeah, Madison's been on TV for like all of like three seconds entire season, and she's like dominated everything. Yeah. So she's like, well, what are her from Madison? Who talks shit about me? And she has the screenshot of it, and she's showered to me. And I was like, SCORE MATTERSEN! SCORE WHAT FROM OUTTERSEN? Yeah apparently Austin was saying that Chelsea lives a fake life just for Instagram. Says the guy who has a beer company. And he's like, well that wasn't cool of her.

And she's like, yeah, he said, book tells you anyway, all she does is lead some fake love on Instagram. And she's like, geez, so you've had it up to hear, huh? So yeah, she goes, well, I never mentioned Austin to my boyfriend. Oh, Ernest. Oh, Peter. Damn, that's how he's doing Sam.

Right? My boyfriend, Lionel. That's saying right. My boyfriend Lionel. That's not right. My boyfriend, my boyfriend from Canada. So long, that's all from South Park. My boyfriend from Canada. Peter, what did I say Peter? That's not.

I forgot, but I got a boyfriend from Canada. That's not right. And I never, I never mentioned him to that guy. So it's odd to me that Austin is making me this girlfriend. And then his girlfriend tells us who she is. Who are you? Does anybody else love Chelsea this year? I love her.

I love her. I love her. I've never really seen. I, I, I, I'm, I'm going to be honest like the first two, this I think our third season and the first two, maybe it's our fourth, I don't know. But up into this point, I was like, well well Chelsea's fine, but she's like never great But this season every time she's on I'm just like loving her. Yeah, she's learned look very pretty girl has a house to pay off now She's gonna stir as much shit as possible, you know, yeah

That's the secret apparently just get the bravo stars in debt and they'll cost shit forever Yeah, well she's not stuck in Austin jail. Like she was stuck tied to her storyline for two seasons. So now she can finally be a free guy. Do you think they've been really dated? I don't think they really dated. No, I don't think they did. No, they don't seem like it.

Because she doesn't seem grossed out enough by him when she sees them. Like when she sees them, she's just like, hey, you know when you've dated someone and you have to see them and you're like, hey, you're in size. I'm like, hey, you know, like when you've dated someone and you have to see him and you're like, yeah, yeah, like you're inside She doesn't do that. Yeah That looks my proof. Yeah, she looks she looks at him like a

Like a banana in your kitchen like oh cool It's getting spotty. Yeah, I'll be trying to throw the little flies around Yeah. I might be throwing little flies around it. It might be time to go. You're like, damn, like, do I keep this banana? Or do I say, I don't know. Okay. So now we go over to Cameron's house where mother heard his heart, which it is, by the way.

I say that as someone who was not a mother. Mothering is hard. Oh, yeah, it is. I was looking to where I was on my nose, because I still had five pages on that scene for some reason. And then she snipped his hair. OK, this is Cameron with a baby, OK? Just looking at.

She's like, fuck, is this thing? Stop crying. Where is the off button on this thing? Honey, I'm pushing the mercy spot. It's not quieting down. Quiet. Honey, just stay there while my mom works. Well, shut up.

It's shut up. I love this. She just puts her baby in a cage. She's like, now have fun in your little cage right there. Be quiet. Just be quiet. Drink these tea notes. Put these tea notes in there.

You be quiet. The story of Ron is live. Works for Jason. I know. That was a reenactment of my childhood. That was a very autobiographical moment. I love you. Yeah, I didn't get bottles of tea.

It's just my tooth always hurt. My mom would be like, just your tooth still hurt, honey, come here. Just drink this. It's new drink, and I'm like, eh. I don't remember what it was, but it's some kind of brown liquor. Was that? Brandy, you see? Take her children away.

There. I found her. I found her. I found her. Found her. That was my social services trick question for you, Sucker. They did, though. I mean, that's why you grow up craving certain things, you know?

Virginia slims. Sometimes I'll still crave that shit, you know? So Cameron's doing that whole story arc thing. I felt we saw it something recently. I don't remember what it was where the arc for the season is going to be. I have to give up control and hire a nanny, but I'm not ready to do it yet. Oh, that was actually Brandy on Dallas who had that story along with the band. It's like Brandy flying in the high of Dallas.

I need to accept hell. You need the paper for some goddamn hell. It's not like everybody else is sitting around like being too selfish that they won't just accept a nanny. Stupid. Makes me so mad. Not that you're getting help. Just be honest, you know?

If this was me, I'd be like, fuck this baby, I'm getting a nanny. Yes! Yes, I win yeah I win I win task rabbit so now we go over to Chelsea's house so all the girls are now starting to pack because they're going on a tree house trip okay so so Chelsea calls up Catherine and it's like, um, leave a message after the arm. Um.

Hi, it's Chelsea. I'm going to go on a trip with you, I think. But I don't know where to talk to you later. So then Naomi's in her house with her dog and a closet. Why do I write this down? Who cares? So then Naomi's in her house with her dog in a closet. Why do I write this sit down? Who cares? Like literally nothing happens.

They're like, hi, hi. That Southern charm. You sit through 15 minutes of mundane shit, and then some crazy stuff happens. I know, but it's not even just taking notes, and then this happens, and you're still taking notes. This is me taking notes. Naomi sits in a posth. Naomi sits in a pos.

Paws. Naomi sits in a closet with her. What's it a dog she was with? Rewind, Rewind, Rewind. It's like five hours later. No, I have nails. I have a closet. I'm going to call Danny.

No one cares. I care. I care. I care. I care. I care. I care. I'm so nervous. Naomi is talking about Danny about Danny and there's like Danny is in a tizzy this episode Because she's been trying to call Catherine for the past two days and Catherine does not respond and she's am I again

I'm like yes, she's literally in Miami. You're correct. Yes That's like the most culture this show has ever had by the way saying am I That's like the most culture this show has ever had by the way saying, am I a? So she's like, don't go in, I like the worst thing to happen to these girls who's for Catherine not to call them back immediately. It's like the biggest drama. A member last year they're like, what happened to Catherine? I've been texting her for three days. She didn't text me back.

She's sleeping probably, okay? Maybe she's online shopping or masturbating. Listen, I'm texting your ass back either and I'm currently not addicted to anything. You know that Catherine probably trolls all these girls with that little gif of the typing a message thing? We're like, oh, they're typing something to me and then like 24 hours later, like,

that fucking bitch is just a gif. Cause you know when you have that friend who's like, always uses the Siri thing to text where it's like, they can't just write it. Because if you have to write it, you're like, I at store tanks, C-U-L-8-R, you know? If you have to write it. But then if you use Siri, you're like, well, here I am.

Walking down the street, what a beautiful day it is, isn't it? God, I love the sun. So I was wondering about this girls trip we're going to take. I love girls trips. Isn't it fun being a girl? Oh, boy, it's my ride. You know, and then you get a text. It's like, this fucking long.

It's like as long as you're armed from this front. And then you just don't want to read the text. Because you're like, fuck her. Taking my time with her Siri. Like, Siri ain't reading this to me. I still have to actually read the fucking thing. Danny text like that. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. I love the your I love the your text. You know she's a wall of text and then Catherine's like, no. I just love that your dictation voices count as Luan.

That's a man. Oh, would you believe it? How could you believe it? Oh, I was at my cabaret. Walking down the street. Hey, are we still going on that trip to my roundhouse in the tree? Just want to know what's a pack. I'll be wearing Giovanni.

Giovanni, Giovanni, new song coming spring, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Fee-ling Giovanni. Got a can't wait for that one. And by the way, as long as we have a captive audience, fuck those rumors that Ramona and Luanna are on the chopping block, fuck those rumors, fuck them. What's your bad, bad rumors? That's what's bad rumors like that. Whoa, horrible.

Yeah, leave, they want to get rid of me, okay? Because you know what? If they get rid of me, they also get rid of my best friends slash daughter avery, okay? It's like ground zero for who old people have fucked, you know like you have to keep that trifecta of Ramona, Luan and Sonia Just to keep up of the old man in New York Yeah, we don't mess with it. I know people are mad with Luan the season because she's being crazy But just go with it Bravo. Don't do not do not take us down this path, okay? So the point is Naomi isn't her closet with her dog Okay, that's the point

So Naomi is like I'm just trying to figure out a pot for this trip And then he's like well, I've been trying to get in touch with Catherine for like two days, and I was actually just in the process of texting her right now saying, Catherine, please don't, oh, you already said that. I'm sorry. We're doing it. We're doing it. Sorry. Either way, it just hit me. So then we get the clip of last year, their wellness check when they actually went to her house. And I'm like, Catherine, Catherine, we're only here because we care.

Also the camera crew cares, the grip guy. If you think I'm on drugs and you come knocking at my door with a camera crew, get ready to fucking die, OK? I'm from Texas. You don't know what I have in my closet, and I'll use it. I'd be nicer to a burglar. I'd be like, are you hungry? You must be hungry if you're burgling my porous.

Come in, just come in. Like, if you try and catch me in a drug-fueled state, you're gonna die. I'm telling you that right now. The truth, the sad truth though, is that I am so danny in this situation. She's not texting back. I just talked with her about it three years ago.

I can't believe it. And I'm cathartic. I'm like arm. I think was this dandy's first... Shhh. Arm. Just shoots one little arm at your forehead. An arm gun. Double-barreled armgun.

A duck falls from the sky. Those arms are powerful. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasive and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up,

why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Anyway, Danny is losing her mind, and I think I could be wrong But I think this was Danny's first ever like interview on right All our Weird she was so nervous. She was like clearly not comfortable Because she was like doing it in her first interview and talking shit at the same time So she was like I think it's hard for a lot of people to be friends with Catherine. She really doesn't hold herself accountable and would it be too much? It would just be so much simpler if she was communicated. Don't hurt me, Catherine. See, was it cute, but she put herself there so

I have to make fun of her. Okay, so you know when people get really nervous and they get that one eye that starts crossing, that's what she is doing. She's like, well it's really an art to be friends with Catherine. She's like, she has all this. She's like, well it's really an art to be friends with Catherine. She's like, she has all this. She's like, we just need to know if we need to pack hugs or stilettos. It's very simple. It's so simple. It's so goddamn simple. God, please. For brain disexplosions. And so then Chelsea calls Cam about the trip and Cam's like, Are you ready? Give me the fuck away from this lump and nothing!

Give me the way from it! And Chelsea's like, well, I don't even know where it's supposed to be. No one heard from Catherine. I don't know if we're supposed to be pining each other's nails or going hunting. Like, doesn't the only option. Yeah. Going to a tree house. So now it's like eight hours later, dun dun dun.

And you just see Katherine walking up to her apartment, her like 10 story apartment. She's like, um, um, um, um. Oh shit, there's mail. That's the music, and Catherine's just like Guess I'll check the mail She goes hmm lost orange and white I'm like that's curled gizmo They've actually shipped gizmo from that Naomi's office

from when it was thing. Gizmo shipped himself. Gizmo took like a little stamp. He was like, ah, bup, bup. Gizmo's like, you better get me the heck out of here. Can you do that? Gizmo got a promotion. You're already doing shit.

Ah! Gizmo is now shining the door. Ah! I'm having so much fun in Naomi's office! Ha! What an office! Ha! So much fun!

I'm having so much attention in the office! Ha! Sitting in the box! Ha! 40 to 50 negative thoughts in this box right now. I'm just... Here lies Gizmo the cat killed by David. I loved Catherine's reaction to sing that flyer because she's like,

Oh, it's orange and white Persian cat. Oh my lord. She's just never heard of such a thing. Missing cats. So then Catherine just gets on her bed as like, oh, I'm just going to check up on my text for the past month. She's like smiling all happy. Yeah, because they're from Joe or a new boyfriend. It's like, disbard, he's so cute. Arrested. I don't know her about. So then it calls up and she's like, what the French, Catherine? And Catherine's like, what the French toast?

Danny's like, what have you been? She's like, oh, while I was in Miami, in New York, person cat lost what the hell. I got her so out to lunch. She's like just so happy to be on a bed in this borrowed house. Where did this house come from, by the way? Yeah.

So, why don't we have friends like that? Our friends suck. Our friends are all poor. I want a four story house. I know. Do we can podcast from? We're like, we're helping you sell your mansion by podcasting from it. I want a four-story house. I know. Do we can podcast from? We're like, we're helping you sell your mansion by podcasting from it.

I don't know what you're talking about. So that's okay. Thank you. So Dan is like, oh, we still on for tomorrow? I would be going, mate. And Catherine's like, please tell me you're not making this into a big fucking deal. I'm like, no, no, of course not. They're like, big deal, no, it's not a big deal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I made very concrete plans. Clip of Catherine.

And then we see she's talking on her phone and herself. We see a flashback of her in the Jeep. When she's driving, literally like this. This steering wheel is here and our hands are back here. We're holding this steering wheel with her elbow. We're going to like the oak tree house or a I think it's like garden trees of a I'm doing the coloring thing like in like four or eight days I don't know. Oh, there's a little orange cat. I just drove over Whoa

My props are my Litterers. Litterers. Vengeance littered. I just slipped on my tissues. So she's like, we're going to a tree house. It's called bold house or a

bolder. Something like that. I think it's a tree house or a house with a tree. I forget. I don't know. Yeah. I think we're going to drive there. I don't know. It's a cabin in the woods or it might be a hotel in the city

I don't know. And then she goes, I'll keep you updated. So then it cuts back and then he's like, you said you've seen us updated! I kept her just like, look, if you're asking me what to pack or where to go, I mean like, come on, come on, look on Pinterest. Yeah, she's like, Google it, or Pinterest it, or stuff. Pinterest. Vacation. No, those faces she makes. She's like, just Google it, or Pinterest it. Love Catherine faces.

That's the saddest thing about having an audio podcast, not being able to do Catherine faces. I know. And also Catherine just found Pinterest like last week, because she talks about Pinterest this whole time. That's all she says now. She's like, I googled it in Pinterest. So now it's finally the day of the girls trip. And Catherine's like looking over her rollercoaster paperwork, which I don't even know what this Rolls Royce is. I support it, but I'm very confused by it. It's better than when Gretchen and Slade got a Rolls Royce, okay? When Gretchen and Slade got their Rolls Royce. Oh yeah, well no, because Gretchen and Slade, you know that was just for like an auto bump from some guy who's like, I'll give you a rose rolls if you put me on the

Ones County and then the second they left Orange County probably took it right do they still have that? I don't know. Yeah, they have like a like a horse and wagon now. Yeah, but this one is a 2011. Yeah And it's still like a hundred what it's a hundred and twenty six thousand two hundred and fifty eight dollars and fifty cents It's $126,258.50. Oh. Crisis, right. Girl, you can get a baby for cheaper than that. So Catherine, just sitting in her kitchen, and then so begins my favorite ongoing joke of the episode,

which is she's sitting there, and all of a sudden you're like, she's like, it's like, boom! Boom! And the music is like, dun, dun, dun! It's like, it's like boom, boom. And the music is like, dun dun dun. It's like the conjuring. She's like, um. And Cameron is first. And you know Cameron's that friend you don't ever want to be the first one to the party,

but she always is. Because she walks right and she's like, oh my god, but a gorgeous place. How much is this? How many floors is this? Do you get a deal? Who's paid for this exactly? A dishwasher That's a very much here Well, you want to get that knocker fix looks like someone needs a coaster, don't they? Oh, but drinking something a mother children. And four floors of stairs. What's this?

Is this a potholder now? Oh, it's just a lost cat thing. Okay. So, camera is just like, I've learned over the years that with Catherine, you just let her do what she wants and then she'll eventually return. Boom, boom, boom. Oh my god. Hey! Oh! wants him until eventually returned.

Boom boom boom! Oh my god! Hey! Oh! And camera's on your table. Like, oh my god. It's like the ghost of Thomas Ravanel. It's my baby. I was just in the neighborhood.

I heard you've been buying some Rolls-Roses with my money, and while you are an upstanded lady, that money is mine, bitch. And if it is Thomas' money that she's using, then go buy five Rolls-Roses. Yeah. But does he have that much to just buy a Rolls- a rose Royce or a friend 2011? I think yes He does his family has a bridge a bridge girl. We've seen those bridges. They could fall Those bridges look unstable they got that old money like that money that like Money isn't as much, you know like when our grandparents were were little, they were like, I made $5 a week in a butterhouse!

Well, either way, so Naomi walks in, and, she, Naomi's like already, you can see she's in a mood, which I love Naomi when she's in a mood, you know? Cause she's like me when I'm angry, you know? So, she's like, you know, like being friends with Catherine it just means, Bonjour texting and like being friends with Catherine, it just means Bonjour texting and like not getting a text back, making plans knowing that she's not

going to be there. Yeah, I'm going to rip into her. Yeah, yeah, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. You know, she's probably not going to show up if you invite her somewhere. So I'm just like arm flings. So what was that? What's that noise? It was a good... Someone was like, how could you say that about Naomi? Naomi. Oh!

Okay. So do you like when I imitate myself like two seconds later? So Cameron's like, so does Thomas have the kids? And Cameron's like, no I do. Cameron's like, where are they at? When they act up, I just put him in the dishwasher until I come home. I told them to run around the neighborhood and find that cat that's gone missing. Once in the washer, once in the dryer, they're not turned on. So she's like, yeah, they're with my mom.

And then, just like, oh, you live in large, girl. And this buffoon lives so large. Captain's like, oh, man. So then Danny comes and she's like, I just just hear to be happy. I'm a happy girl. I'm a happy girl. It's nothing strong with me at all. I'm not mad at anybody right to be here.

I'm so happy right now. Nothing to go wrong. I have nothing on my mind. And nothing is free as to ring at all. So they all go, they all hop into a G wagon, Cameron's G wagon, and they're driving off the tree house thing, and now it's time to make some banter. So Cameron, Cameron has some like gummy bears. And no of them is like, did you know that some people put gummy bears up their butt? Yeah, but instant satisfaction. Is that true? I've never heard of people putting gummy bears up their butt. And I listen to Dan Savage for like six months. And trust me, if there is something to be put up your butt,

I know about it because Dan Savage talks about everything. It's like, where do you keep your stapler up your butt? Some people find it sexually stimulating. It's great. Well, not Cameron. She's like, I don't understand why anybody puts anything up there, but in that includes a wiener. And all the girls are like, yeah, no, totally, totally, totally. Yeah. Capture us just quiet.

Like, and Chelsea's like, you know, some people choke up, they'll haul up their boots. Cut the Craig trying to sit on a keg. Um, is this working? Keg stand. He's like on his head. He's like, let it go. Oh, shaggo. Oh, shaggo.

Building ice castles out of his fingers with beer. Let it go. So, yeah, Chelsea's like, some people chugged up their butt and he goes, yeah, it's called butt chugging. Or is that saying friends? Let's chug, do butt. Let's chug, shallot. And Danny's like gross and he goes, you can look it up. No, don't look it up.

Yeah. So you'll never see that, OK? So then, Tammy's like, what's grosser? Shugging beer up your butt or not getting a text back from your friend? And it's timely-fassing. Segway. Real smooth, Tammy.

I'm just kidding, but you saw it on her face. She's like, oh, that's gross. I'll tell you what's gross. Thinking your friend might be dead on the side of her road in Miami, that's gross. I'll tell you what's gross. Thinking your friend might be dead on the side of her road and my abbey, that's gross. That's real gross. I'm wearing an hug on one foot and a stiletto on the other. That's gross.

I had to make an executive decision, and I was wrong. That's gross. So they're like, so Catherine, how's your trip? It was great. I really like how I come along. It's really good. they're like so, Catherine, how's your trip? I'm like, it was great. I really like him a lot. It's really good. I really like him.

There's a lot of potential. Yeah, I get it. He might move to Charleston. I don't know. So she's like, I really like him. And she'll say, how long you been together? Two months. And Cameron's like, well, if you fall in love and get married,

he's taking a move here or what? And you're going to put dog doors on those stairs so your children are just going to tumble to their death. And have you ever heard of a swiffer sweeper? They also make dusters, which you can dust things with. OK, isn't it fun? Girls, tree up. So Catherine tells us that this is the first time she's really felt like

Gideon excited about someone since Thomas, and then it just like cuts her in the confessional or the interview. And she just like, Yeah! Just taking a big long vape. It was a duel, I know the shapes. I own every device in my house. She goes, and I really enjoy the fact that he wanted to send it seed because it was a little bit of a fuck you to tell me.

And she's trying to make it sound all like nice and romantic. She's like, well, he's retiring to the public sector into this law firm that's in Florida and they might open up in Austin and Charleston. And then but while she's saying that they're putting up all these clips of like, just praise Stenitor! Did he beat his wife? Penis is growing from his ears, thoughts in public. It's like, well, and then they showed the video of Austin again going, you're insane, you're insane person. You're insane person right now. So now we go over to Aerie Hall,

no relation to Mount Aerie large, for all you Pennsylvania people. This is the Lime House plantation. Now, I just have a few notes, like. I just have a few notes. I feel like if you are a family that's been around for generations upon generations in Charleston, maybe don't call it the plantation anymore,

call it the estate. Well, what are you gonna call it? The Tharland Fee. 2009. Erie Funfield. The Good's Ranch. I'm just like, we cannot call it the plantation anymore, thank you. So anyway, so we're at the lime houses and Eliza gets out of her car. Her brother Chase is there.

What's his name? I didn't write it. Chase. Let me tell you, let me give you a lay of the land. There's her brother Chase, there. What's his name? I didn't write it. Let me tell you, let me give you a lay of the land. There's her brother Chase, her father Chip, and their dog, Strom. Strom? Yeah, Strom. If you don't know what the Strom stands for, Strom Thurmond. Yeah, I feel like I'm on Texacana's and I finally knew one question right from my citizenship desk Be watch out. I'm sorry. Let me just say one Texacana's thing. There's this girl I enancy right? Sutter name Who's taking your citizenship to us and she's like I'm not going to pass this test because Trump hates me

Because he says all this said about it. And they keep asking her questions and she doesn't know the answer to any of them. But I don't either. I watch it and I'm like, this isn't fair. I should not be a citizen either. Kick me out. I know nothing. Okay, sorry. So Eliza shows up and like, she's a stream. So Eliza shows up and her, like her stream! So, Eliza shows up and her brother and her dad

or dress up like in luck. They got a lot of hair-freez- You're face- and all that stuff. She's like, I didn't get the memo that was the English countryside dress-up Tom and they're like, we didn't get the memo that it was Kesha dress-up Tom. I was like, this is what happens with straight pride. Okay, this is what happens. This is North Face with straight pride. Okay, this is what happens. This is North Face and Kesha.

Coming soon. Coming soon to Austin. So Eliza's like, this is the happiest place on earth. Every hall plantation, that's where I grew up. My horses are there, my polis there, every single holidays there. It's home. That's where the heart is. I've never had to lift a finger.

Yeah. So, um, yeah. So she's talking about how like her dad used to be, her idol and everything. Um, but guess what? He cheated. Who would have thought on this show? Yeah. Talker. Yeah. Chip. Who knew? Chip was aater? Cheat and chip. You can see the headlines now. Cheat and chip. Trost and chip. And the dad's like, you know what a red fish is, Lizzy? She's like, yes, no, I don't, I don't know the red fish. No, no, don't care. So, you know, they're all scarred. And this is the scene where we're really supposed to feel

for Eliza, but maybe they should start with scenes like this. Also not taking place on a plantation. Okay. It's a little too late for weeks in, guys. She tells a crazy story about how she's supposed to go to the Bahamas with her, I guess, her boyfriend, Don. And then Don forgot his passport, so they were like, they told their friend who had the private plane,

just go on without us, And then the plane actually crashed. And the people on it died. So she sort of skirted death, et cetera. And I was like, oh my god, this is like final destination. But I'm just imagining death showing up and seeing this cast and be like, hmm, I don't know if I'm going to go. Bye.

You can have that. They're too lazy to follow through with whatever was supposed to kill them in the first place. You know, they're supposed to be on this plane, but they forgot their passport. We were going to run over with that car, but they were late to work. You know, they're just too lazy to get killed. That's like, listen, I tried. When Craig had that butter knife in the wall, I tried my best.

Sorry. Now I have this archaic device. But you know how whenever someone on a reality shows, like, I prayed to Jesus that this I'm sorry. Now I have this archaic device. But you know how whenever someone on a reality shows, like I prayed to Jesus that this would be okay and everyone's like God doesn't watch Bravo. This proves that he does. Yeah. God's like we're not killing Eliza yet.

I just cast her on these days. Yeah. We need a new villain. We can't kill off the villain just yet. Plan a trip for Barbara to the Bahamas. You know? off the villain just got. Plan a trip for Barbara to the Bahamas, you know. Good. Good.

So it was not me saying that, that was God. It's too soon after Alia. OK, so it's now it's the girl's trip. Too soon after Alia, is that what you said? I would never say such a thing. Now it's the girl's trip. So I love when I catch Ronnie off guard. If I could just like sneak one little thing in.

Feel like you're just trying to see if I'm paying attention. Like wait a minute. I love you Alia. So thanks God Eliza is still with us. This is getting real dark. So now we go to the girls trip where they go to the Bolt Farm Treehouse and I have a bone to pick with this place because it's in me or none of those tree houses in trees. They are, right?

They're just houses on stilts. Because I watch house hunters international. And I saw the episode where that couple went down to like Peru or something. And they got a tree house with a tree right in the middle and it was a ring and they were off the grid. I ate it. Did you know these are just like houses on stilts. I think I put it in my brain that I saw them on trees.

I mean, maybe I'm wrong. If you tell me that. Did anyone see a tree? Did anyone see a tree? You guys, it's crazy how I can make my memory just remember things, you know? Because I was like, it's a tree house, so it was in the tree. I'm like, literally shocked. It's in my brain, I see it on the tree. This is why I love doing the live shows, because to be able to like rally a crowd around,

there was no tree in the tree house. Everyone's like, you're right. I'm like, yes, I feel hurt. You've got backup. So they're showing up. And Chelsea's like, I feel like I'm pulling into Ramanhood, Prince of Thieves. And then he goes, I was going to say Blair Witch Project.

Talk about a girl who doesn't call you back. Blair Witch Project. The story of this girl who just sit in a corner wouldn't answer her texts. Isn't me or is the Blair Witch Project totally something that Craig would do? I heard there's a witch in the trees near Baltimore. Let's go see it. Let's go look.

Hey guys, I threw away the map. Sorry. She gets one of Singfros in. Like the Blair Witch is coming from them. I was saying frozen. Come on. He would just go right up to the Blair Witch standing in a corner and being like, what I do at Keg stand. He just walks into that Blair Witch house.

He walks in, and opens and is awesomely like, this is insane! This is a witch in the earth, it's insane! The Blair Witch doesn't even kill him, because he's sick of looking at his dick scene on the show. He's like, oh! The Blair Witch is the emigrant tree, like, hey! Saw your pick.

Blair from Baltimore. like, hey, saw your pick. Blair from Baltimore. Craig's like, can I say that you're my girlfriend and make me owe me mad. It's like Patricia's next ball, she's like, it's my new girlfriend. Well, it's all right. We already had the Blair Witch on the show, and her name was Ashley.

Cam Ashley just retired her normal life. Chopsy! Chopsy! Chopsy! You're just an egg donor. So yeah, Cam was like, just saying no one would hear a screen, including my baby. Thank God, I'll stay here forever. I don't care. Take my limbs. Take me to the woods. Are there babies there? I'm in. So then we go, we meet the owners of this tree house place, Seth and Tori Bold, who look like they're like a 90s grunge band who've like, let's move on to a new chapter in our lives, you know. I wrote, yay, Les Beans. We've never seen that on this show. I really did. I thought they were Les Beans. I was like, I'm so proud of this show for moving forward step by step to join up by vagina. You know, good for them. I've never seen that on this show. I really did. I thought they were lesbian. So I was like, I'm so proud of this show. For moving forward, step by step, the China,

the Bifigina. Good for them. It wasn't. It was a guy. Yeah, it was a guy. Seth and Tori Bolt. Sorry. So they start going into these treeless tree houses, et

cetera. Catherine's like, oh my god, arm around bed. This has been my dream ever since MTV crib with Michael Jordan If only she knew about around house am I right everyone? Then you're really living And then they're like we go on to the vineyard and Catherine goes I don't even know what a vineyard is to be honest I think it's a place you just plan to drink in weekend. How fun with that.

Well, speaking of New York, what I loved was this moment here, because Cameron and Chelsea are now in their tree house, and they're pulling themselves wine. And Cameron goes, isn't it rude to drink around Catherine? And Chelsea's like, well, it's her idea to go to vineyard, and we're not all going to get, you know, we're all going to get freaking hammered, whatever. But like, I'm going to break for yourself, I'm gonna hammer, party!

I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love-

I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love-

I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I just love- I I'm sober who the fuck cares Lewis Those New York bitches do not care They do not care taking off their shirt Fuckin the guy putting away their shoes It's so sad because it's true. So, yeah, camera's like, I'm getting drunk. So then we go over to Danny and Naomi and Catherine. And they're like, are you ready to go to dinner? And Dan's like, are you ready to go?

Catherine's like, I'm looking for a better shirt. Y'all go ahead if you want. She's just going like this in her luggage. I'm looking for a better shirt. Y'all go ahead if you... She's just going like this, Narlangans. I'm looking for a shirt. You guys can go and they're like... Pfff. Pfff. Pfff.

Pfff. Oh, mad. Yeah, Catherine's like... Let's go. It's like we're at adult summer camp, but it's adult fall camp. Pfff. I was like, written by Craig. Yeah.

So they're working each other up, Danny and Naomi. Naomi's like, um, Danny, the way that she's been, like, I just don't know. And Danny's like, she's actually been kind of normal. And she's like, I know, but I'm like getting mad. So then we go over to Camden Chelsea, who are like the perfect people to stay together, you know, because Chelsea is like redoing tile in the bathroom already. Camden's just in shape. She's like importing a tree to put in the tree house.

So yeah, they're hanging out. And basically they're going to go now to this vineyard for the wine tasting, everything. Camden's like, they're trying, they're trying rosé and camera's like, I don't think I like the rose. Daniel's like, I'm already so mad at so many things, you're gonna add this to my list, it's rosé! It's rosé. So they get to the vineyard and my mimos serving them. Her name is R- Her name is R- her name is Ritha.

Yeah, Ritha. So we are so delighted to have you. Now listen here girls. On days like this when it rains, we pull. All right, Mima. Lisa Vanderpump just inserts herself. Get it! Never mind, I quit. I quit! I quit!

Oh! Lisa Vanderpump's like, I would like to offer you some muskidine. But you've hurt me deeply. Oh my god, I don't know if I can recover! So the lady is pouring wine for the maltotaise, and Catherine just pours her out because obviously she's in recovery so she's not going to drink it but I'm like, dude you could just say, like, I'm not going to drink it.

But anyway, so- It's a wine tasting so you're allowed to throw it away. Look at your little cleanness. I know they're gross. That's why you don't let her. Some of Austin's breakfast and I was just floated off into the darkness. Also the running thing in this is that Muscatine Wines Sucks ass. Did you notice?

It's the worst sitting there. And it's the worst vineyard in the world. Everybody's like, oh, to lit Muscatine. Do I did Austin make this? This is like tastes like grapefruit. Why does it keep thinking that's a compliment? So yeah, they hate it. They hate this one so much.

That can't bring us. Oh, well, she's trying to be positive, but she's wasted. So she's like, oh, well, you know what? They taste a lot better than they smell. The new logo for Muscatanite. And for Shab. They smell better than they smell.

Muscatanite. So then Whitney checks Catherine during this and like, yo, yo mother, yo mother, where you at mother? Mother, mother, where you at? Where you at mother? Did we ever need just text, did where you at mother? Did we ever tell the story about the time, the first time we met Patricia? So the first time we met her, she and Whitney were in LA and so they invited us to dinner. And so we went, and Catherine was there too. So we came over and we were like sitting at the bar area. And the very first thing Patricia does is she goes,

hey, can you do that? Mother thing to Whitney. Can you show Whitney what you do? Oh, Whitney's like a podcast. Okay, that's a great. Okay, mother. So we're like, oh, Whitney, they one, nothing impersonation of you, do it. Do it, that thing, was it mother?

Do it. So we're like, and then Ben's like, you do it Ronnie. I was like, no, I did it too, because I remember being mortified. And I was like, no, you won't like it. And he's like, me, sure, I will. I don't care. Go ahead, do it.

One thing is funny, I can totally take a joke It's totally funny. I can take a joke So I did that you know I was like hello mother Love you love your rumbrant mother And Patricia is cracking Made some read out and then it just keep it just goes worse and worse, right? Cause he's looking at us like, that's not me, nothing like me.

I like to think that that's the reason why Whitney and Catherine had fun that night. I'm assuming all this talk, they said it happened in LA, they were together, so maybe it was that night. Oh, that's not the reason. Well, either way, the penis was the reason, okay. The penis is always the reason.

Pinos? So every fight in the Bible comes down to penis, telling you, think about it more deeply, you'll see I'm right. Toxic masculinity. So okay, so now we see what you have mother. He's an coffee shop, he's texting. He has his own keyboard, that's just just... I'm tech chef comes in, he's like, oh, I'm gosh, hi. I'm gonna be that guy to order the pumpkin spice latte.

I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl, asking her to make him a pumpkin spice latte. Gosh! Got now a MLM. So, he sits down with Whitney. Whitney has gotten himself a French press. It's got the whole like thing. Whitney goes French press bro.

French press bro. And he gets a little coffee cup and Whitney is like, can you help pop, bro? You know Whitney is like, it's just the right temperature. He probably has a little pocket thing he posts at. It's just the right temperature. He probably has like a little pocket thing He pulls that it's on the edge of the pot like Could you do this a couple more degrees? Thanks I look different

I love it. They had a turf war over a French press that's the point So yeah, so then the chef's like that grows hot So yeah, so then the chef's like that grows hot Pumpkins don't worry. It's five steeders. Don't worry. I'm only drinking down to the label top It's like It's like being married, you know, then later if he's like you fuck that whole thing up You drunk ass I be like, no, but I only drink right before the label. I didn't get all so So it's very sad actually because when you saw a second's had to start for 13 years very really sad and

Shepp is like, I know, but don't tell me that it lunch, you know what I mean? That's that's something you text me when my dog died, I didn't go to lunch with people. Like, do you want to go to lunch? Hey, here we are. Zena died. I'm like, no, that's mean. Text me. We are opening up old wounds on Rondall at the moment.

Getting a look into his psyche. So, uh, so Whitney is like, yeah, so his dog has died for 13 years and Jeff is like, wow, that's your longest relationship ever. Excluding this French press, am I right? High five, no one. High five. And Whitney goes, I was falling mother. Other than my mother. Oh, I thought he said I was telling mother. No, he said I'm my mother. Other than my mother. Oh, I thought he said I was telling mother. No, he said I'm my mother. Other than my mother.

Other than my mother. It's only a woman who hasn't disappointed me. I wish I could say that about Whitney. She's getting so mean to poor Whitney. It's fun, doesn't it feel good? It feels great. It's like a foot massage. So Cameron's like, so what was Whitney like?

She doesn't even know the answer yet, she's like, how many rounds? That was a trick question, how many rounds? Yeah, how many rounds? Like one? Chelsea goes, was it person? It's like, no. Oh, there are no ones in the name? She's like, not going there. Because you notice, it's like, Renobs.

Renobs. Oh, wait, Reno, oh wait, what mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, And you know And you know Catherine's face she was just laying there like So the Cameron's like did he get fully nude? Catherine's like he kept his glasses on So then back up the tree house they get a little time to chill, which means talk shit about Catherine while she's not in the tree house. Or if you're Chelsea, you're gonna make guacamole. How the hell did you get guacamole fixins? I'm gonna make some guacamole. You're in a tree house sort of. Because Chelsea is the only person who comes prepared,

you know. She's the only person who's like, you know? He's the only person on who's like, you know what, we're going on the trip, I'm bringing some advocate out. Dan is like, I would have brought avocado soup, Dan, you just called me back. Oh, I gotta make one. I'm going to. And then, Capterums with Danny Naomi, and it's so awkward.

And so, Capterums like, I know, I never really take a chance to look at the sky. When you wish upon an arm, makes no difference where Thomas is. Let's just love seeing the sky for the first time. So, wow. It's moving, it's always moving. It's so moving. So Cameron, whatever, who cares? OK, so then Nadine.

I was about to say the same thing. Cameron doesn't have cell services. I love Cameron, you know, I really do, but I don't care about your baby shit. Like I don't care. I like to better when she's with the baby. Like, if you're going to, I don't want to hear you talk about your baby,

I want to see your baby torturing you. That's the fun for me. When she puts like the little baby monitor next to her computer and says, Here I go, we're at the baby! Looks like she gets mad every time. It made a noise. It's just a, just not video feed of Craig. I'm ready for my feeding. Let it go. So Danny, what's your bonus? Catherine goes outside to look at this guy. And Danny's like, girl, I'm about to call her out on everything. It's called accountability, which I know she could know this at the time, but this is not the season to be saying accountability over and over again.

That is a way to get on my bad side really quick. Hi, I'm Teddy. Hi, I'm Teddy. Calmability. I can't. It's a better kind of ability. So Nadine's like, all right, Naomi's like, um,

she gets a pass every time, but at what point do you just not give a shit about your friends sometimes? Like there's a line between a friendship. It's a shoey straight. She's mixing a lot of metaphors, but I went that. Yeah. So she's getting all amped up. I'm saying the conversation has to happen tonight. So she's losing her mind.

So now it's finally done our time. So they all go to the honeymoon tree house. It's a honeymoon. Which to the honeymoon tree house. The honeymoon. Which is honeymoon tree house. I've taken a lot of ladies here for the honeymoon tree house. I'm like Mr. Dossie. Mr. Dossie had several felony counts. So the honeymoon tree house. The lights go off and you snap and the door only opens

if the man has the combination. So Chelsea's Logan, the caretaker shows up and he's like, hi. He's like terrifying because he knows it's a Bravo show coming. Which issue? Because he's probably bright. He was like,'s a Bravo show coming. Which is because he's probably bright. He was like, oh, Bravo's coming. Click. Oh, real housewives of New York was honored. Something is horrified.

But it's just this is 1999. He was expecting like nice people. So it's just them, you know. So he's like, do you want some wine? And she'll say, you got paid no more? And he goes, I got some muskidine. And they're like, no, no. No.

It's like the easiest trip to stay sober on. This is truly the scariest episode of all time. The muskidine. Three house of horror. So then they serve so that they all have to like, they're all like, what do we say about the muskete, they're all looking at each other and Chelsea's like, that sounds fun. And they're all like, yeah, yeah, no, that's great.

We love musketeying. Yeah, great. Muskete do not like. So then they get muskete, and then they are served. The tiny little salad bowls, like these little bowls of the crab cake on them, they're like the size at the top of this PBR. I was like, what is happening in this tree house, please? I don't understand any of that.

You're mad at Logan, and he's city-winding, he's city-little bowls. So captain's like, cheers to being bad ass women, who are only dating rich politicians with tons of money, because they're really cute and nice. You know, they're like, okay, cheers women. And Cameron's like, cheers, all I have in wonderful man, but not needing them.

Just kidding, I really need Jason. Thank God for Jason, Jesus Christ, I would kill myself. And Chelsea's like, oh, need John, if they'd wait, what's his name? Peter. Peter. It's me, this this alien I need him. So it's a camera and it's like, you know, the thing is that like, you know, we fight

and everything. It's mostly my fault. But you know, you know, you know, you can always tell you've got a good man. If he doesn't say anything bad about you, he never puts me down ever. And that's how you know it's a good man. Not once. Not one time. and then it just cuts to Catherine going. Also the Logan brings that crab cake. She's like, here's some crab cakes in Catherine Gus. She's like, where's the frosting? She's just staring at it. Like, what the fuck is this?

So now like after the food has been served, you can see the girls are winding up to confront her. But since it's like Southern charm, they do like, they have a long game. So they're like, so tell us about Joe, which means you fucking bitch, he didn't text me back. Yeah, text me back, bitch. Tell me about Joe and she's like, I mean, he's nice.

He's like a silly into a Sicilian, like a Sicilian. So he says things like, hey baby, hey. Hey. Danny's like eating like, mm-hmm, great. Wow. This is so fascinating. I hope he can talk about this all night. Yeah, I bet you checked him back. Wow, this is so fascinating. I hope we can talk about this all night.

Yeah, I bet you checked him back. Captain's like, he works out a lot. So I think he's a good person. Thank. So I like how Captain bases for good person stuff. He says, hey, baby, he sprays towns like she does and he works out a lot Wouldn't dating just be more fun if we had that as a list So Danny is really you can tell she's really gearing up because then she goes okay well

I just want to know more about Joe. I want to know more Yeah, okay, what else is there like I mean, I keep calling her Nadine, I'm sorry. But Naomi's sitting there like, come on, Danny, I believe in you. You're the one who's going to bring it up. Yeah. They're like so ready to jump down her throat. So Catherine's like, there's just something special between us and Danny's like, what? She goes, he encourages me to be proactive.

And Danny's like, yes, here we go. Proactive, you say? So then why were you MIA this week? Dan, who did it? Dan, who did it? Dan got it, nailed it, nailed it. It. I just, but ha ha, we're a segue ever. So then that music is like, know when they do that rattle

And captain's like I went to a charity event in New York and then I missed my plane So I went to Miami instead to be with him and then he's like can I be honest? You know how protective of you. You know that, right? So I have to say it. You've built so much in the past two years, you're self-sabotaging right now. You are self-sabotaging right now.

You were gone for five days, and we thought you'd be back on Saturday or Sunday, and you're right here in Naomi. You're just going to let me just like, talk you up here, or, no, OK, you're you were gonna text back after are you sure and I owe me Are you sure cuz we talked about this we talked about this. We're not gonna you're gonna let me just me do it, okay? All right, all right never heard this before I was like I don't have a problem with it. I think we text too much I'll be online stop there so

I'll be online, stop there. So, Katherine's like, wow, I chose to go. And Danny goes, why? Because you had a prior engagement. She goes, no, I didn't. And she goes, well, I'm not doing tip for tap right now. Because Danny is so mad, but it's like the wrong time. So she's just gonna go there. But, you can't fight with Katherine.

Because Katherine's just like, oh. You just bitch mad. She's just mad lately. Yeah. So, Danny's like, you've changed the past month. You're Chasty, and I know you're trying to avoid, and avoid, and still nothing Naomi. Okay.

Okay. And Catherine's like, I'm feeling attacks. So I was like, attacks. I'll tell you what's not a attack my phone with text messages from you, and we're part of the text message. I'll tell you what's not a text my phone with text messages from you. And we're part of the text message. I say, anybody, anybody? Anybody's like.

So then, yeah. So Danny's basically like, you know what? You had to deal with so much in your life at 27. And there's just so much chaos and everything. So much. But you never had to be accountable for like day-to-day stuff. Like, be on work being work beyond work and time Okay, make me when it says me hear it five o'clock. It does not mean six o'clock

Yeah, and then just you just have to do with that just staring at her like I'm never hanging out with you again, bitch But also comes that person who just will never take the responsibility She'll just look at you like she's crazy. And really, I love that this whole fight is being on time. Like, that's what they're mad at. That's what it's boiled down to.

So, Catherine's like, the reason I'm late is because I spent three years moving house to house with no structure and dealing with serious depression. Like, I've lived with my parents. I've gone through custody. And I just don with my parents. I've gone through custody. And I just don't have structure. And that's when Danny's like, the rest of the world does have structure, though, Catherine.

Okay. And so like, yeah, but can I finish? Can I get there? I don't mean disrespect. And Danny's like, well, everyone else in the world has stuff, Catherine. Like we all have our battles. And Catherine goes, I'm working my ass to get my shit together. And Naomi at this point is like, I hear a creggism.

Yes. Yeah, I think that's probably true. She's like, so was everyone else in the world, Catherine? No, she was like, oh, thank God, that was hard. That was hard. So Catherine lists all the stuff she's gone through. And she's like, I'm thank God, that was hard. That was hard. So Captain Liss, all the stuff she's gone through. And she was like, I'm doing my best to get to a point where I can handle all the shit going on and be on time.

And if you have pointers, I would love to hear them because I'm literally Googling Pinterest. I'm on Pinterest, how to organize I'm going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like,

I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like,

I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like,

I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to be like, still has me fucked up, it's weird. It's weird. It's like jet fatigue, you know? So Naomi is basically, Naomi is basically like, listen, I would not be a friend to you if I didn't say that I think it's foolish for you to buy the Rolls Royce. And I wanna make sure you're thinking things through.

Also text us the fuck back bitch. Text us back. So she's like, you don't have to explain yourself, Katherine, Katherine's like, I mean, I don't have to explain to you why I spend my money. It's like, um, but you're spending money on a car and a house. And so it turns into this big thing. And the Naomi's like, well, the perception of it,

it's not great. This might be a good time to mention. Have you guys read the Naomi mural thing in South Charleston? I only learned about this on the drive over here. So apparently, Naomi's new restaurant, her family's new restaurant, they stole a mural from another artist. And so, he Instagrammed her, I was like, bitch, you literally stole my mural. And she's like, no, I didn't. I saw your mural, thought it was cool, and took parts of it that I liked. Like no, I didn't. I saw your mural, thought it was cool, and took parts of it that I liked.

You're welcome. Like you're welcome. Do you want to shout out on Instagram and he's like, fuck you! Like, okay, now you're getting violent. Yeah, I think. So that's all I could think of during this scene. I know. So, Kath, it's funny because like, on the one hand, like, I hate it when people don't

text me back and are super late all the time you know but then it's like heartened for me to like not be on team Catherine because I just think Catherine's so funny but then I also think Naomi's funny and I was like why do you guys have to fight why can we focus on the assholes of the show like CHEP and all of a sudden and all that why the girls have to tear with each other down, because it's also the domestic fight ever. Like, you're late. Like who cares? So they're really trying with the music. Because the music's already been rattling and going,

sing it. And everything. Don't pump it. And they always like, I can sense that you're feeling attacked right now. But that's not the place we're coming from. And if you say you're OK, that's all we need. Pum, pum, pum, pum okay that's all we need. Okay. And then it stops

and Catherine goes, well this has gotten significantly awkward. It's easy. that's the first and the first. I'm the one, too. Yeah. I just see Gismo with a little hobo sack. I think like... That brings us to the end of that. That's the end of that. Milwaukee, thank you so much. Happy Pride!

Happy Pride! Thank you very much. Good night everyone! Milwaukee! Good night everyone! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.