Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm NOLA and RHOP: Nightmare on Jeffsgiving
Episode Date: July 23, 2019Jeff tries to throw a peaceful Friendsgiving on Southern Charm NOLA, but it's a turkey. Then, the Real Housewives of Potomac celebrate Monique's 3D baby pictures with talk of, guess...Michael...'s butt grab! Enjoy! To hear this week's premium bonus breakdown of the new Real Housewives of Dallas trailer, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
 Transcript
 Discussion  (0)
    
                                         Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today.
                                         
                                         Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy
                                         
                                         singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride.
                                         
                                         Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
                                         
                                         Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
                                         
                                         Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors.
                                         
                                         The Bay Area Betches!
                                         
                                         Betches!
                                         
    
                                         Making the Slayer Taylor!
                                         
                                         Aaron McNickalis!
                                         
                                         She don't miss no trickle-ists.
                                         
                                         Hot dang!
                                         
                                         It's Jessica Dang!
                                         
                                         Lisa Wallent.
                                         
                                         Now that's what I call Wallentainment.
                                         
                                         Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender!
                                         
    
                                         Hava Nigela Weber!
                                         
                                         Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good.
                                         
                                         He makes a squee, it's Richie D!
                                         
                                         Jamie, she has no last namey!
                                         
                                         Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone!
                                         
                                         You don't touch the Niki Morgan letters!
                                         
                                         Sip some scotch with Jessica Troch!
                                         
                                         What you talking about willis, it's on a gillis! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without
                                         
    
                                         the bird. Just saying okay. Christy wow, where do you dourty? Kelly Barlow, when she
                                         
                                         goes Barlow we go high low. Here the Homer with Jeffrey Boomer. Hannah, God I love that
                                         
                                         banana. Anderson. And our super premium Patreon subscribers mean a kuchiku
                                         
                                         kuchiku
                                         
                                         Let's get racy with Miss Stacy Shannon out of a cannon Anthony the incredible edible Matthew
                                         
                                         Sisters Lulu Simon suit suit studio give them hell Miss Noel Kelly stump the
                                         
                                         stump master always ready for Nicole pass. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day your out.
                                         
                                         We're all in with Julia Conlin.
                                         
    
                                         Yes we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann.
                                         
                                         Nancy, Ceas and Desisto.
                                         
                                         We love you guys. I'm Ron Karen. You can also find me over on the Rosepricks bachelor at roast and here I am
                                         
                                         With my little friend and co host mr. Ben Madelker of the real housewares of kitchen island cartoon over on YouTube hot band
                                         
                                         Hey, what's going on nothing? What you doing happy Monday sucka?
                                         
                                         Happy Monday. I am just like here and I got I'm I'm ready
                                         
                                         I am ready to dive into Bravo another week of Bravo. It's big week for us actually huge week for us
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's huge cake. We're gonna be the 25th 26th and 27th. We're going to Cleveland to Pittsburgh and Baltimore
                                         
    
                                         That's this week and Cleveland we're gonna be doing real house size of Beverly Hills reunion in Pittsburgh that's
                                         
                                         sold us or we're doing real housewives of New York and in Baltimore we're going to be doing
                                         
                                         Southern uh Southern charm yeah I was like wait a minute today Southern charm but that Southern
                                         
                                         charm more lens um yeah so we're going to be there so we'll see you guys soon here is a rundown
                                         
                                         of our live shows uh for the rest of the year. You guys
                                         
                                         ready? I'm just going to give them by city so we can go quickly.
                                         
                                         Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Carbureau, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago,
                                         
                                         NYC, St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Seattle. Wow. Wow. Wow.
                                         
    
                                         Seattle. Wow. Instead of Seattle. Whoa, whoa, Seattle. Wow. Yeah.
                                         
                                         So for those ticket links, just go over to watch what crappens.com. That's where you can find link store Patreon
                                         
                                         where you'll find our bonus episodes this week is real house wants to Dallas
                                         
                                         trailer and
                                         
                                         We've got a bunch of fun bonus episodes over there. That's also where you'll find our crappens on demand videos
                                         
                                         We do a couple of live videos every week,
                                         
                                         not live videos, but we record this episode on video,
                                         
                                         which you can find out for our crap and on demand.
                                         
    
                                         You can find links to our shirts and merch right now.
                                         
                                         We've got,
                                         
                                         demoted to friend dev, season one cameo,
                                         
                                         and resting, honey, face, honey.
                                         
                                         So I think that's all for our little plugs
                                         
                                         at the beginning.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I feel really great about that.
                                         
                                         You did a great job.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, the base of the big takeaway is
                                         
                                         there's only like three days left
                                         
                                         if you wanna come see us in Cleveland.
                                         
                                         So get off at Fanny and Sincumseus.
                                         
                                         Yeah, do it.
                                         
                                         Well.
                                         
                                         But so now today we are doing Southern charm new Orleans.
                                         
                                         Southern charm new Orleans. So good. This is this show just makes me hungry all the time.
                                         
    
                                         All, you know, they just are constantly eating such amazing food.
                                         
                                         So I just I just I I want to go back to New Orleans so much so that I remember I was talking
                                         
                                         about doing that survey to find out if people would see us in New Orleans.
                                         
                                         I actually started writing it and I'm going to publish it after we're done recording this episode.
                                         
                                         So make sure your voice is heard because I just can't watch this show anymore.
                                         
                                         I'm watching Edole of that amazing food and just sit on the sidelines.
                                         
                                         I need to like just dive into it.
                                         
                                         Well, here's something that makes me not want to eat all these dogs, okay?
                                         
    
                                         And I love a dog, but here's what I know about having a dog.
                                         
                                         They eat all your shit and then you feel like you're choking in the middle of the night on a hairball because you didn't vacuum enough or something
                                         
                                         Okay, yeah, and that's what I feel every time we go into regular Reese's house
                                         
                                         It's like 50,000 dogs. No one needs that many dogs, okay?
                                         
                                         You're like you're like those fucking quarters, you know where they lift boxes and they find like a flattened dog under something
                                         
                                         You know like you didn't even know your dog was missing. I mean granted it's usually a cat, but you know, you know, still the point remains.
                                         
                                         There are too many dogs in that house and that includes Reese.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I know kidding.
                                         
    
                                         I know who's grown to better.
                                         
                                         The dogs are Reese.
                                         
                                         I know one can paint better.
                                         
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         So yeah, so we open up, we actually got the full opening credits, which perhaps for the first time in the season,
                                         
                                         I'm not sure.
                                         
                                         I'm surprised the cast and the opening credits was the same.
                                         
                                         I thought maybe Kelsey might get an upgrade.
                                         
    
                                         John Moody, I mean, I enjoy John Moody, but he doesn't really have a storyline,
                                         
                                         so it's weird that he's still a cast member.
                                         
                                         But yeah, that's just that is your update on the opening credits everyone. I'm glad everyone appreciated that
                                         
                                         How do you say that about John madey?
                                         
                                         His storyline is a velvet turtle neck, okay? The man is wearing a pink velvet turtle neck. That's enough for me
                                         
                                         You're right. I take it all back. I take it all back and obviously we had a major twist
                                         
                                         Which is that he made lamb today. So you know, I mean he really he does offer a lot to us
                                         
                                         Yeah, and he's like I'm a Renaissance man, but you know what?
                                         
    
                                         That looks very chewy that lamb.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we will get to that.
                                         
                                         And I'm extremely happy.
                                         
                                         I had opinions.
                                         
                                         You know me, were you watching that be like, Oh, Ben is not going to be happy with this.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I was like, that's some chewy lamb right there.
                                         
                                         Yeah. So speaking of food, we then go over to Justin and Kelsey, who are meal prepping
                                         
                                         and Kelsey's like,
                                         
    
                                         meal prepping takes a lot of work.
                                         
                                         I guess it's easier to meal prepped and to decide what to do last second for dinner,
                                         
                                         because that is when you order grab hub or etc.
                                         
                                         So what is the intro to your new YouTube channel?
                                         
                                         Shut up about your fucking meal prepped.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         Kelsey garden over there.
                                         
                                         I mean, she's
                                         
    
                                         a businessman with food network. Interesting is mine. Okay. Finger nails. That's my diet.
                                         
                                         Finger nails. It's easier than cooking meal prep. So take that, Kelsey.
                                         
                                         Meal breakfast so hard. Meamol, she's just putting salt and pepper on some chicken
                                         
                                         in a dish. So then we go over to Tameca, who's just ordered herself
                                         
                                         a giant pizza.
                                         
                                         You know, it's a little juxtaposition, if you will.
                                         
                                         But of course, only having one piece of it.
                                         
                                         Well, that's so this show, though, isn't it?
                                         
    
                                         It's like, oh, Tameca's trying to be nice this year.
                                         
                                         It's like, oh, yeah, I'm Tameca Tameca Tameca
                                         
                                         Tameca Tameca Tameca Tameca Tameca
                                         
                                         Tameca Tameca Tameca Tameca Tameca Tameca
                                         
                                         I'm a totally different.
                                         
                                         Look at me.
                                         
                                         I'm totally nice.
                                         
                                         And then they insist on framing her as the villain.
                                         
    
                                         They're like, look at this bitch eating a pizza.
                                         
                                         Well, everyone else is meal-praping. So well done guys. Also, I have to say, did you guys change the background suddenly on me because
                                         
                                         all every episode is episode seven and for six full episodes, there was a white car just passing to me because window over and over.
                                         
                                         And now there's no white car. What the hell? I feel like you guys are gaslighting me.
                                         
                                         Maybe, maybe they've been listening and they've been hearing your complaints.
                                         
                                         I once again forgot to look out for it but I'm glad I didn't because then I would've been like,
                                         
                                         Ronnie, there's no white car and you've been like, no, there was one and you would've gone crazy.
                                         
                                         I'll be like, hey, wait a minute.
                                         
    
                                         You would've turned into Kelsey.
                                         
                                         There was a white car and I want you to appreciate what I see.
                                         
                                         Why are there so many gas sliding? Hey, wait a minute. Just don't white car there anymore. What the heck?
                                         
                                         Moving right along. There's a white car in the background. Oh my god. I love that song.
                                         
                                         So good. Oh my god. So we ultimately wind up with Jeff speaking of white cars. Jeff
                                         
                                         is driving around with Benny Poppins.
                                         
                                         Who we, I had forgotten about Benny Poppins,
                                         
                                         but Benny Poppins is like this personal chef,
                                         
    
                                         sort of Butler dude who would help out.
                                         
                                         To make it out of friend last season,
                                         
                                         we have not seen really at all this season,
                                         
                                         and he was at her house, and it was like a whole thing.
                                         
                                         Like, oh my God, it's Benny Poppins.
                                         
                                         It's like a salarist.
                                         
                                         He's just like Benny Poppins.
                                         
                                         So it's like Benny Poppins, and he's like, he like cooks penguins, and it's like, wow, super colorful my god, it's Benny Poppins. It's like a Slayer. So he's just like he's just like Benny Poppins So it's like Benny Poppins and he's like he like cooks penguins and it's like wow
                                         
    
                                         Supercalifrightful to get to be all poppins, you know what I'm saying? Yeah
                                         
                                         But this time he was with Jeff and I think he was acting different than he did last season right?
                                         
                                         Yes, he was but wasn't he like last season I remember him being like
                                         
                                         him being like, hello, I'm Bailey Popones. Welcome to Nore. We're cooking on the bar. Like he was very dramatic. Like in my mind, he had a feather boa and he was like on one
                                         
                                         of those like water mill boat things. It's like, you know, the circular like from the film
                                         
                                         show boat. Yeah, I thought he was like a sassy gay. My memory was like, he was a sassy
                                         
                                         gay. He was like, girl, I'm gonna make you a martini right now. And then this time around, he was like, hey, bra, let's go on, I'll get some Cornishans bra. I was like,
                                         
                                         what? And then on top of that, while they're driving, he's like all fidgety and he keeps touching
                                         
    
                                         his lips. It was like he was going through his own strange butler version of transporting over there.
                                         
                                         I was like, are you seeing a baby on the top of the car right now, Benny?
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was. Benny was coming down from something. I don't know, maybe last, maybe last time,
                                         
                                         maybe he just doesn't know what to do
                                         
                                         without that imaginary feather by what
                                         
                                         that I picture him.
                                         
                                         Very.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he seemed like a little off the entire episode.
                                         
    
                                         Like I, I mean, he, I was like,
                                         
                                         something's going on with Benny Poppins,
                                         
                                         and I feel like no one's even addressing it,
                                         
                                         but it has to be addressed.
                                         
                                         It's in his last name, Poppins.
                                         
                                         Maybe. It's like the mystery name, Poppins. Maybe.
                                         
                                         It's like the mystery that's already been solved for us.
                                         
                                         We're like, what is up with Benny?
                                         
    
                                         God, it's almost like he's on...
                                         
                                         Popper.
                                         
                                         I'm still confusing.
                                         
                                         I'll just let it rest.
                                         
                                         It's almost like he's been stuck in a room
                                         
                                         watching hours and hours of Jack Benny while doing poppers.
                                         
                                         Nah, that's too easy. watching hours and hours of Jack Benny while doing Puppers.
                                         
                                         Nah, that's too easy.
                                         
    
                                         It's Captain Leeds.
                                         
                                         Captain Leeds is the detective.
                                         
                                         Hey, I wanna know what's going on in this Butler.
                                         
                                         So Benny's like, we can go Latin, we can go Vietnamese.
                                         
                                         Cause Jeff is gonna do a friends giving night
                                         
                                         to really show Reagan, you know?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So he's gonna do friends giving
                                         
    
                                         and he's like, I want it to be different.
                                         
                                         Jeff, it's the first time you're having Turkey.
                                         
                                         Okay, that's different enough.
                                         
                                         I don't, like if I invited people over for Thanksgiving,
                                         
                                         they'd be like, Ronnie's doing Thanksgiving,
                                         
                                         they'd all be taking those pills that you'd
                                         
                                         agress at or whatever you take,
                                         
                                         like to stop your stomach from exploding, you know?
                                         
    
                                         From drawing, I mean.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's already crazy enough
                                         
                                         I'd be making Thanksgiving. I don't need to be like, hey,? From drama, I mean. Yeah, it's already crazy enough I'd be making Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         I don't need to be like, hey, it's Ronnie, I'm having Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         And it's going to be Latin Vietnamese.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I think that as long as Jeff puts away his half ping pong table
                                         
                                         from the kitchen, it will be different enough.
                                         
                                         People will be like, oh, wow.
                                         
    
                                         This is like Thanksgiving, but with a twist.
                                         
                                         And he's like, yeah, we could do Latin, we could do Vietnamese,
                                         
                                         we could do New Orleans, we could do,
                                         
                                         we could, we, how about we take some milk,
                                         
                                         they're just like pouring in a container
                                         
                                         and then poured everywhere, we could do out,
                                         
                                         we could do so many things, so many things right now.
                                         
                                         Yeah, pretty much.
                                         
    
                                         So then we get a clip of Jeff inviting everybody
                                         
                                         and he's like, Timber, will you come check,
                                         
                                         oh my God, are you inviting Reagan?
                                         
                                         Are you inviting Reagan to Thanksgiving?
                                         
                                         Are you inviting Reagan to Thanksgiving?
                                         
                                         I mean, oh my God, are you gonna invite Reagan?
                                         
                                         Are you gonna invite Reagan? Are you gonna invite Reagan. You're gonna make apple torquies?
                                         
                                         You're gonna take your hand and make like an apple turkey. You're gonna draw a turkey with your hand.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, uh, come drops and apples. Um, what's what turkey's gonna be there? Like how many turkeys are gonna be there?
                                         
                                         Or like a little turkeys big turkeys? And Jeff's really getting over Reagan late because he's doing things like going into the grocery store going.
                                         
                                         This used to be our store. Oh my god. It's like the local grocery store. Okay. It's like this used to be the street that we drove down to go to work
                                         
                                         Because it's your street
                                         
                                         I know listen
                                         
                                         I understand like making romantic claims about this is the spot in the park where we used to sit and have picnics and proclaim our love
                                         
                                         But like when it's like this is our Albertans. I don't know. There's just like a romantic luster that seems to have been lost on me
                                         
                                         You're not allowed to romanticize a publics, okay?
                                         
    
                                         I know. Oh, this is the canned good aisle that
                                         
                                         get Reagan and I would often go down and I try to get some beans and she's saying,
                                         
                                         no, don't Jeff, those aren't fresh. And I'd be like, why? Why? I want the beans and now I can get the beans.
                                         
                                         It's really annoying that Jeff would always try to get beans, but now when he's trying to get beans, I think it's so cute.
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                         So Jeff and Benny Poppins are shopping and they're getting all this produce.
                                         
                                         It's like a really slow version of on top chef when they go, they terrorize every whole foods across the nation, screaming from aisle to aisle and throwing things into a basket.
                                         
                                         It's sort of like that, but just with the two of them.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, I can't figure out what he duck is.
                                         
                                         He just, he's just never been in the produce aisle before.
                                         
                                         He has been in that bean aisle the entire time.
                                         
                                         Like, what?
                                         
                                         Wait, vegetables are not in cans.
                                         
                                         So, um, so he and Benny are like shopping and he's like,
                                         
                                         Hey, have Benny, you ever run to a cornfield
                                         
                                         Did I say corn? I think I met a gravel quarry. He's been run to a gravel quarry. God. It's good
                                         
    
                                         I hope no one makes me mad today because I'm not in the mood to go through a gravel
                                         
                                         Benny looks terrified
                                         
                                         in the whole. It's only a couple of cases.
                                         
                                         I'm having a weird my day over here.
                                         
                                         Director's commentary from Captain Lee.
                                         
                                         Well, I was called into the B.K. guest director for this episode.
                                         
                                         So I really wanted to keep in this corn field element because I wanted to show you just how
                                         
                                         scary Jeff could be.
                                         
    
                                         Now, think of a corn field.
                                         
                                         It's sort of inherently scary.
                                         
                                         And I don't think of Jeff running through it.
                                         
                                         Pretty terrifying, right?
                                         
                                         Did you just shut your pants?
                                         
                                         Well, guess what?
                                         
                                         You better clean that up.
                                         
                                         When Jeff runs for a cornfield, it's really annoying, but when Reese does it, it's so cute
                                         
    
                                         Oh my god, you're so on your way to divorce and just saying that Reagan you're not even in this scene
                                         
                                         Yeah, and it's all like to think about for the whole show
                                         
                                         So the best part of this whole show is this check out lady
                                         
                                         Yes, just like hey hey, look at me.
                                         
                                         I'm doing Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         And it's the first time I'm ever doing it.
                                         
                                         And I want to do it my own way.
                                         
                                         And it's a new tradition.
                                         
    
                                         She's like, oh, yeah, I remember you.
                                         
                                         And he's like, oh, yeah, hi.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         He's like, he's like, well, because somehow he only
                                         
                                         charges up $139, which is crazy.
                                         
                                         And so the clerk is like, well, you came to the right store.
                                         
                                         And then Benny Poppins goes, well, this is the second home away from home. And the clerk said,
                                         
    
                                         oh, yeah, I recognize you. But there ain't no booze in your order this time. That's weird.
                                         
                                         God, what fired? Fire. I would fire you. I would get you fired. I would be like, can I
                                         
                                         speak to the manager, please? How's somebody? What if he's secretly drinking? You don't do that.
                                         
                                         You're like a shrink. Okay. Check out lady or a priest.
                                         
                                         I thought I was pretty amazing.
                                         
                                         So going through the grocery store, check out with a date and the check out lady
                                         
                                         being like, Oh, no, why scream this time, huh, fatty? It's like, fuck you.
                                         
                                         Can I have some privacy here?
                                         
    
                                         Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         So then we go over to Barion to Mika's house where Tamiya is doing the impossible.
                                         
                                         She's burning her tea.
                                         
                                         Still don't understand how she did that.
                                         
                                         Because you don't cook the tea bag, okay?
                                         
                                         Did she put the tea bag in the tunnel?
                                         
                                         Yeah, she cooked the tea bag.
                                         
                                         No, that's not right.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, that's why it's burning because probably there's a thread caught on par.
                                         
                                         Well, at first of all, it looked like a grungy little teakettle anyway.
                                         
                                         At first, I was like, oh, what a charming sort of antique teakettle.
                                         
                                         And then I was like, I don't know if I actually put mictinit, though.
                                         
                                         I think I'd keep it more decorative, you know?
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         It tastes like I stepped on the nail.
                                         
                                         It's like, wait a minute.
                                         
    
                                         I hope you're going to get your shots, because that was a rusty ass teakettle.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it was, yeah, I was concerned,
                                         
                                         and then she makes the tea,
                                         
                                         and then she shows it to Barry when he walks in,
                                         
                                         she's like, it's supposed to be green tea.
                                         
                                         It's supposed to be green tea.
                                         
                                         Guess what, taste it, look, taste it,
                                         
                                         taste the lead, huh?
                                         
    
                                         Taste the lead.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no kidding.
                                         
                                         It's like, I call this the rusty nail.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and he's like, it's black,
                                         
                                         and it tastes like chickery.
                                         
                                         I'm like, please do not drink anymore.
                                         
                                         That's please, please do not do this.
                                         
                                         So then they start talking about a speeding ticket
                                         
    
                                         that's been left on the kitchen counter, which is
                                         
                                         such, or did it get sent to them?
                                         
                                         I don't know, but it was on the counter.
                                         
                                         That's so me.
                                         
                                         Like, I got a speeding ticket, mom.
                                         
                                         Yeah, just put it out that
                                         
                                         Exactly and then Barry's are talking about how he was once
                                         
                                         Arrested basically for fall under false pretenses that someone the cops thought he was someone else and then Barry was like
                                         
    
                                         No, I'm not they thought he was a football player and he's like I'm not a football player
                                         
                                         And they're like well, why are you driving this fancy car and Barry made like a little sassy comment and guess what? He was hauled up to jail for like 13 hours. And even
                                         
                                         after his mom paid the bail, he still had to sit there for 10 hours, which is actually
                                         
                                         pretty horrifying. So then it's like sort of is talking about how hunter the son they
                                         
                                         need to have. Barry needs to have a conversation about, you know, like now that he can drive,
                                         
                                         you know, black man in America has to be careful
                                         
                                         with the police and to make us like, um, you need to tell this to your son and he's like,
                                         
                                         I will in my own time.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, um, can you please tell him like now because I'm anxious about it.
                                         
                                         Okay, I don't want to sit here and wait episode after episode while you drag your feet on
                                         
                                         this very important conversation.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's every talk that Barry has with his son.
                                         
                                         He's like at some point.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'll talk to that Barry has with his time. He's like at some point.
                                         
                                         I'll talk to him about sex at some point. It does seem to have a tendency to like not want to have these conversations. It's like, hey, uh, Barry, I need to have a conversation with Hunter about, like,
                                         
                                         not mixing bleach with ammonia. Could you like have that conversation with him? Uh, yeah, no,
                                         
    
                                         I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, he's just about to go clean the bathroom right now. I'll tell him afterwards.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no, I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, he's just about to go clean the bathroom right now. I'll tell him afterwards
                                         
                                         So then we go over to the most exciting date night of all time Justin and Kelsey Wow, we meal prep I guess that was a waste of time
                                         
                                         Well, I'm sorry. I forgot to get my to-meek-a-voice sign
                                         
                                         It's like you pointed meal prepping you're just gonna go to dinner right after we filmed that scene
                                         
                                         I know like they literally we literally watched the meal prepping
                                         
                                         and then Justin's like,
                                         
                                         I'll have an lobster ravioli and she's like,
                                         
    
                                         I'll have a frisky salad and a pepperoni pizza.
                                         
                                         I'm like, what diet is this on?
                                         
                                         Because I would like to be part of it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no kidding.
                                         
                                         You guys look great.
                                         
                                         Please share your diet tips where I come out of that.
                                         
                                         Exactly, so Kelsey's like,
                                         
                                         do you know what I really want to do? I really
                                         
    
                                         want to go whitewater rift. I want to go whitewater rifting like the river wild. Oh God, the river wild.
                                         
                                         Merrill Streep's greatest work. I love the river wild. I think that's a great movie.
                                         
                                         So yeah, I think Merrill Streep took a lot of shit for that movie and it was pretty good. Yeah, I believe her as a river guy. I mean,
                                         
                                         I believe her as everything. What can I say? So, um, so Justin's like, well, you wouldn't
                                         
                                         believe it, but I've actually gone, you know, what, what a rafting and I did. I hit the level
                                         
                                         five rapids. She goes, well, I do believe it because everything you've done has been to
                                         
                                         the extreme. And now I'm going to glare at you because there's actually some hidden meaning
                                         
                                         in what I said, but you have to figure it out.
                                         
    
                                         And he's like, uh.
                                         
                                         Justin is such a dope.
                                         
                                         He's like, date mind is important.
                                         
                                         It's important for me to show Kelsey.
                                         
                                         I can focus on different things.
                                         
                                         Like, congratulations.
                                         
                                         You can focus on going out to dinner.
                                         
                                         Wow, there's a husband for my child.
                                         
    
                                         Like are we really this hard up for a man in this world right now?
                                         
                                         He's like, look, I can focus on dinner.
                                         
                                         Let's have a baby.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm just gonna keep flaring my eyes until you realize that you can have a baby.
                                         
                                         To the extreme.
                                         
                                         So he's basically working, working, working, working. And she's like, but I want to get married.
                                         
                                         He's like, but I'm working.
                                         
                                         She's like, but can't you work and also we can have a baby?
                                         
    
                                         He's like, well, well, baby.
                                         
                                         I didn't know what he's talking about.
                                         
                                         But I want to be a stay at home mother.
                                         
                                         He's like, wow, Jesus.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         She's, yeah, she's basically just like, well, you know, like you spend all your time and work and you're doing things in your
                                         
                                         Professional life that you should be doing in your personal life. This is chaos that you have created
                                         
                                         He's like wow this marriage shock. It's really
                                         
    
                                         Yeah
                                         
                                         That's just like
                                         
                                         Has everything going with the therapist are you going are you going to therapy yet? He's like well?
                                         
                                         I actually have a I have a meeting and she have you called the therapist
                                         
                                         He's like, well, I called that he hasn't called me back. She's been awake. I'm like, this is a great date night
                                         
                                         Go to therapy!
                                         
                                         Like, what is this?
                                         
                                         Yeah, you guys are killing me with your date, mate. Also, I have to say I'm not sure about this whole Justin
                                         
    
                                         I know that he's a personal injury lawyer and listen the last person you want to ever rear end as a personal injury lawyer
                                         
                                         I don't know how much I'm buying because on his way to get shots
                                         
                                         He he's like I insist on driving to the doctor and then he keeps turning around
                                         
                                         He keeps like bending his neck and now and this he's talking about going whitewater rafting
                                         
                                         Like listen, you know, you're supposed to be building evidence towards your trial, okay?
                                         
                                         This is true about the best way.
                                         
                                         That's, that's true. That is actually very true.
                                         
                                         Although to be fair, it was Kelsey who, who suggested whitewater rafting, which as a nurse,
                                         
    
                                         maybe you don't suggest that to your husband who has like a broken neck.
                                         
                                         So now she's like, so if I had a baby, where would that be like?
                                         
                                         And he's like, well, I see a lot of family help.
                                         
                                         But she's like, well, I don't want to have a kid and have someone else take care of him. I don't want to even leave the kids. I don't even like, I see a lot of family help. But she's like, well, I don't want to ever, I don't want to ever kidnap someone else to care of him.
                                         
                                         I don't want to even leave the kids.
                                         
                                         I don't even like, I don't want, I don't want,
                                         
                                         I don't want to leave the dog.
                                         
                                         It's like, Kelsey, if you want to be a state-of-home mom,
                                         
    
                                         which I 100% support, I think that's a great thing,
                                         
                                         then, you know, I think that means
                                         
                                         that Justin's probably gonna have to work harder,
                                         
                                         right, single-income, right?
                                         
                                         Right, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah. I'm just like, right? Right? Yeah.
                                         
                                         I'm like, I hate when you work.
                                         
                                         I just wish you made more money.
                                         
    
                                         It's like, wait a minute.
                                         
                                         I'm logic.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm like, it's like, I don't know
                                         
                                         if you can have it both ways, Kelsey.
                                         
                                         I just want to sit here for an hour
                                         
                                         and listen to you talk like Kelsey.
                                         
                                         It's my favorite thing to do now.
                                         
                                         Let's order.
                                         
    
                                         Let's order dessert.
                                         
                                         I'll just like go through the entire date, how the rest of the date went.
                                         
                                         Yeah, this isn't the most romantic storyline I've ever seen.
                                         
                                         Some people you see these storylines and you're you're really rooting for that Bravo wedding,
                                         
                                         you know, and this one, and no, he's like, you know, I really love Kelsey,
                                         
                                         but we're just on different pages. So I need to talk to a shrink to see how I'm feeling about this.
                                         
                                         Like listen, either you want this for the rest of your life
                                         
                                         or you don't.
                                         
    
                                         Stop wasting your time, jerk.
                                         
                                         Yeah, pretty much.
                                         
                                         So now we go speaking of being stuck with something
                                         
                                         for the rest of your life, potentially,
                                         
                                         we now go over to Raykent's house
                                         
                                         where there's like a nursery, which looks sort of like
                                         
                                         it's like a landing at a
                                         
                                         staircase that's been penned off and so we see that it's like the little under
                                         
    
                                         the stairs thing that people have in their house like that they use for a
                                         
                                         little closet. Like what is that? Yeah it's like some weird architectural defect
                                         
                                         that they've now rebranded as a nursery. So there's like this giant pop art painting of Reagan on the wall.
                                         
                                         And then Reese just goes up with some acrylic paint and just starts painting like he's
                                         
                                         in like first grade art class. Oh, I'm just spelling the words. Oh my god.
                                         
                                         I just look at him like this is terrible. And we're tiny little dogs. Okay. And we're saying this.
                                         
                                         I know they're like we're we're a pack of 19 dogs and we're disgusted dogs, okay, and we're saying this. I know, they're like, we're a pack of 19 dogs
                                         
                                         and we're disgusted by you.
                                         
    
                                         That's how this is.
                                         
                                         And he's like in nice pants and in Oxford
                                         
                                         and he's like doing this painting.
                                         
                                         So it's like, what are you really planning?
                                         
                                         What are you doing here, sir?
                                         
                                         Like, and if you were really planning to make something nice,
                                         
                                         you wouldn't be in your nice clothes.
                                         
                                         You'd be in dirty clothes
                                         
    
                                         because you're gonna sit there and really work at it.
                                         
                                         But he's just sort of does something,
                                         
                                         just throws it up there. And of of course Reagan walks in and is like
                                         
                                         what is that?
                                         
                                         which
                                         
                                         you know of course she's gonna find cute in a obnoxious way yeah which he totally does
                                         
                                         I don't know why but I just find it cute and he's such a fuck up ha ha ha
                                         
                                         I'm like oh my god this girl is so filled with regret.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, there's nowhere to waddle.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         It's like, there's nowhere to waddle baby.
                                         
                                         She's so scared of marrying this guy,
                                         
                                         but hey, you know, Regan gets married
                                         
                                         like the good old American way.
                                         
                                         Like they get annoying, just start dating
                                         
                                         and they went downtown.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, at least she gets a free horse out of it.
                                         
                                         And she, I mean, like the painting doesn't even make sense.
                                         
                                         Okay, there's like a son, there's a tree,
                                         
                                         there's like a dollar sign next to tree,
                                         
                                         which is like, which might confirm my thought
                                         
                                         that Rhys probably thinks that money does grow on trees,
                                         
                                         I don't know.
                                         
                                         And then there's a cat, there's an image of a cat,
                                         
    
                                         and the cat is saying, nay, nay,
                                         
                                         which is what a horse should be saying. And on top of that,
                                         
                                         he misspelled nay. He spells it anyway. And then mommy, and then there's like mommy
                                         
                                         understands, like nothing makes sense about this. It's like mortifying.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it really is. And it's hilarious watching Reagan trends mile through it, you know,
                                         
                                         I'd like to write a thank you letter to Botox because she cannot, like I wish I could
                                         
                                         really see what her face looks like after all that you know
                                         
                                         Because she's got to be horrified. Oh my god, you're the biggest pain of the ass. Ha
                                         
    
                                         Ha I can't believe she didn't just grab that fucking painting of herself off the wall and just run out the door
                                         
                                         That's what I would have done. Yeah a long time ago a long time ago and and she's like is this supposed to be us
                                         
                                         He's like yeah, those are your boobs coming out of your dress
                                         
                                         He's like I love those things
                                         
                                         He said then they're gonna put together the crib and he's like so there's like no map
                                         
                                         Like I would have put it together with a map. Oh my God.
                                         
                                         I'll be internet.
                                         
                                         So she's like, well, I've made a very important decision.
                                         
    
                                         I'm not going to tell Jeff for a prank, Matt.
                                         
                                         This is not the right time to start lying, okay?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's not the line that you draw.
                                         
                                         Okay, because there's like, are you just going to walk around with giant like grocery bags for the next nine months in front of you? You can't say
                                         
                                         our Jessica Parker this. He'd be like, wait a minute, those are from our store.
                                         
                                         Like, there's no getting out of this store, okay? Yeah, like you don't have to tell,
                                         
                                         you don't have to like announce everything to Jeff in terms of like you're buying a new
                                         
                                         car or whatever, but if you're having a baby,
                                         
    
                                         he's gonna find out. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's no hiding that one. So she says, in six months, we're gonna be looking over this cram big other. And he's like, shit. My notes on this really make no sense. I'm sorry everyone.
                                         
                                         Then I have him saying, shut up, shut your fucking mouth. Why did he say that?
                                         
                                         Then I have him saying, Shut up, shut your fucking mouth.
                                         
                                         Why did he say that?
                                         
                                         Uh, I don't remember, but it seems like it's within character.
                                         
                                         She probably told him to like, you know, zip up his fly.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I think she was talking about feeling fat or something. And it's like, shut your mouth. They're gorgeous.
                                         
                                         I'm saying, I feel like a busted catabiscats.
                                         
    
                                         Oh yeah, because they're stomach.
                                         
                                         Yeah, which, you know, welcome to waking up in my house.
                                         
                                         It's time for commercial.
                                         
                                         It's time for a crap and it's commercial.
                                         
                                         Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
                                         
                                         But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
                                         
                                         I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest
                                         
                                         and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownall,
                                         
    
                                         we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that
                                         
                                         will have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
                                         
                                         We'll talk about what went right and wrong.
                                         
                                         What would we do differently?
                                         
                                         And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego
                                         
                                         in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.
                                         
                                         So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about
                                         
                                         the hardest job in the world, listen to,
                                         
    
                                         I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
                                         
                                         You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondry app. Um, so we go over to John Moody's house and John is like announcing us.
                                         
                                         Now to us, he's like, well, people don't know about John Moody is that I love to cook.
                                         
                                         I'm like, well, you could love to cook, but can you actually cook well? That's a big difference.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that's the thing, you know, um, the Renaissance man, master of none. See, that's the thing, you know, the Renaissance man, master of none.
                                         
                                         See, that's me.
                                         
                                         I can't do multiple things either.
                                         
                                         What is that saying?
                                         
    
                                         Jack of all trades master of none.
                                         
                                         Jack of all trades.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Jack of all trades.
                                         
                                         Maybe that's what you were writing.
                                         
                                         I wrote Why Getty.
                                         
                                         I don't know what that means.
                                         
                                         Jack's hungry.
                                         
    
                                         The Jack's hungry.
                                         
                                         You're like, you're like, why?
                                         
                                         Getty, why?
                                         
                                         I'm asking about Getty Oil.
                                         
                                         So, you know, because it could happen.
                                         
                                         So, anyway, so John's like, this is the world's best lamb, but I already started cooking
                                         
                                         it so people don't know how to how I make it.
                                         
                                         I'm like, let me guess, salt, pepper, oil.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Maybe rosemary?
                                         
                                         Well, it's called fire lamb, So I'm assuming that there is some,
                                         
                                         you know, cayenne pepper or something on there too. And then he's like, I've got a few ladies coming over
                                         
                                         too. And then we get a flashback to last season when he had that party and invited a bunch of strippers
                                         
                                         on mail on boys night and to me. It's like, oh my god, what would you do? You invited girls over?
                                         
                                         If you're gonna invite girls over, you invite me over's it you invite me ever you invite me ever you invite me ever you invite me ever you invite me ever so uh
                                         
                                         John is like he's continuing to prep his lamb and I don't know if you notice this but he was
                                         
    
                                         seasoning by pouring the salt directly from the Morton's box of kosher salt he was just pouring
                                         
                                         it on top I'm like please like you know maybe I don maybe, I don't know, it was hard for me.
                                         
                                         It was hard for me because I'm more of a salt in the palm
                                         
                                         and then use my fingers and then aim with precision
                                         
                                         with fingers, et cetera, even if it's a lot of salt.
                                         
                                         The idea of shaking the salt directly from the box
                                         
                                         was making me really nervous.
                                         
                                         Yeah, well, it's a boy's night with very salty lamb.
                                         
    
                                         There you go.
                                         
                                         Very, very, very salty lamb.
                                         
                                         And just up the occasion a little bit,
                                         
                                         Justin brought the hors d'oeuvres,
                                         
                                         AKA a wedge of cheese, perhaps from Jeff's supermarket
                                         
                                         and some crackers.
                                         
                                         Almost as fancy as Jennifer Aiden's,
                                         
                                         Kudite Platter that she brought to acts throwing
                                         
    
                                         on Real Housewives of New Jersey.
                                         
                                         Yeah, were they out of sliced camelope and crackers and what else is on that thing?
                                         
                                         Are there any snacks around?
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's like a lunchables thing.
                                         
                                         I don't remember you ever being so horrified as you were by Jennifer Aiden's snack tray.
                                         
                                         I'm still mad because she was making a first impression.
                                         
                                         I was like, this is your first impression, really, this, the bare basic thing.
                                         
                                         I've also been traumatized because I once went to
                                         
    
                                         Sinespia, so here in LA, there's this thing where they show
                                         
                                         movies in a graveyard.
                                         
                                         It doesn't really make sense, but it's this big thing
                                         
                                         that thousands of people show up too, and you picnic beforehand.
                                         
                                         And the first time I got invited to it, I went
                                         
                                         and it was like, be a potluck picnic
                                         
                                         and I made this whole fancy thing
                                         
                                         and then everyone else showed up with like Twitter Joe's
                                         
    
                                         like, Cheez and Cracker things that you pulled
                                         
                                         the plastic off of and I was so mad
                                         
                                         that like no one put in any effort.
                                         
                                         And on top of that, it's like, you know,
                                         
                                         those trays are fine but they're like really not,
                                         
                                         like as Cheez and Crackers go,
                                         
                                         they're really nothing special. So I've been on the, those, those trays are fine, but they're like really not, like as cheese and crackers go, they're really nothing special. So I've, I've been on the receiving
                                         
                                         end of those trays and I do not appreciate it. So when Jennifer Aiden shows up at Hatchet
                                         
    
                                         throwing, and this is her first big scene with the rest of the cast on a TV show that you're
                                         
                                         trying to be a part of, and that's how you, that's what your best foot forward. I will
                                         
                                         not approve, and I never will.
                                         
                                         Yeah. And this is how we deal with very difficult scenes on water at crap and
                                         
                                         Also, you know what man don't eat it a graveyard like how fucking rude is that?
                                         
                                         Well, I haven't like oh, I want to see naked gun at the graveyard
                                         
                                         And I had delicious cheese and crackers on someone's dead grandma.
                                         
                                         So thanks.
                                         
    
                                         I never went back.
                                         
                                         I thought it was like, we were watching coming to America.
                                         
                                         It was coming to America and a great night.
                                         
                                         And you know what?
                                         
                                         It's like, you can't see sort of well,
                                         
                                         but like your back starts to hurt and then you're hungry.
                                         
                                         And I just was like, this is a terrible experience.
                                         
                                         I do not know what people line up for hours
                                         
    
                                         to come and see the photos experience.
                                         
                                         I've never gone back since.
                                         
                                         I've just, yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm not a huge fan of that either.
                                         
                                         It's like it's movies that you get for free at home.
                                         
                                         I've never been to a good movie there.
                                         
                                         The point is,
                                         
                                         people are eating straight salt from the board.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So he makes terrible lamb chops.
                                         
                                         And then they talk about the talk
                                         
                                         that Barry has to have with this kid.
                                         
                                         And just living in America, Jesus Christ.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         John Moody makes actually a pretty good metaphor,
                                         
                                         although I still feel like it could have been better.
                                         
    
                                         Like he's like talking about,
                                         
                                         they're talking about the police.
                                         
                                         And he's like, you know,
                                         
                                         if you've got a basket of 18 snakes and two of the snakes are venomous and the other
                                         
                                         are good snakes, are you going to put your hand in the basket?
                                         
                                         I was like, honestly, even if it was 18 good snakes, I probably would have went up my
                                         
                                         head the best.
                                         
                                         Could we maybe go for like 18 apples on tour bad?
                                         
    
                                         Like, I don't know.
                                         
                                         I think the snake thing was a little classic John Moody and then they start eating the
                                         
                                         lamb like cavemen. Yeah. And look they start eating the lamb like cave men.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and look, even some chewy lamb made me hungry.
                                         
                                         And I'm a vegetarian, okay?
                                         
                                         Yeah, I think that means I'm sticking to my diet
                                         
                                         because I was like, oh, dead things, yum.
                                         
                                         So let's go over to Jeff's house, the day of friends giving.
                                         
    
                                         So Jeff is wearing a cooking scarf
                                         
                                         and I'm like, this can't be good.
                                         
                                         I know. The
                                         
                                         cooking scarf is also what keeps his emotions in. And so he they're like they're doing all
                                         
                                         this stuff with the Cornish hands. It was that a smoker. It looked like it was a smoker
                                         
                                         he had outside, right? I don't know because I was just confused how they still don't know
                                         
                                         what they're cooking, like what kind of meat they got. Just like look, it's a baby turkey.
                                         
                                         He's still insisting that it's a baby turkey.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, and Benny Poppins is like,
                                         
                                         no, it's not a baby turkey, not a baby turkey.
                                         
                                         So then they like light up this contraption
                                         
                                         which I assumed was a smoker.
                                         
                                         I don't know, there was like a fire on one side
                                         
                                         and racks on the other and they stuff
                                         
                                         all these cornish hens inside it and close it up.
                                         
                                         And then Jeff starts like pruning flowers from his hedges
                                         
    
                                         and makes a table skate.
                                         
                                         It was actually pretty shocking.
                                         
                                         It was.
                                         
                                         It was really nice, but I like to think of our tiny bugs
                                         
                                         crawling all over the table.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         I feel like you do like, do you have to like wash?
                                         
                                         If you do things like that, don't you
                                         
    
                                         have to like wash the flowers to make sure there's
                                         
                                         no weird like dirt and bugs and things like that?
                                         
                                         Well, yeah, whenever you get stuff from outside,
                                         
                                         it's covered in nature, which is disgusting.
                                         
                                         Okay, it's like when you eat organic things and they're like, we just picked this.
                                         
                                         Like when you pass that farm on the way to Malibu and people are,
                                         
                                         Hey, you want some fresh strawberries?
                                         
                                         No, because they're covered in poop, okay?
                                         
    
                                         I want my things completely soaked down and I want like, you know, terrible sprays all over them.
                                         
                                         That sounds good to me.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I agree.
                                         
                                         I actually would have been more impressed
                                         
                                         if Jeff had gone to Michael's
                                         
                                         and made a fake version of what he did
                                         
                                         because that would actually show more.
                                         
                                         Or...
                                         
    
                                         Or the same someone for fitting fresh flowers on their table.
                                         
                                         We're like, you ain't disgusting!
                                         
                                         No, because if you went to Michael's,
                                         
                                         that shows it's actually more effort
                                         
                                         and it requires more skill.
                                         
                                         And if he had done that, then he would have truly shown that he had graduated from Reagan's school.
                                         
                                         You know what I'm saying?
                                         
                                         Yeah, the checkout, ladies.
                                         
    
                                         Like, thanks for coming to Michael's again.
                                         
                                         God, no booze in every story time.
                                         
                                         It's like ornately decorated booze that has fake fall leaves on it.
                                         
                                         Just taped on to it.
                                         
                                         So their friends start arriving after Jeff explains his relationship with Benny Poppins
                                         
                                         because no one really understands why Benny Poppins is like the real Mary Poppins just
                                         
                                         keep showing up with different people playing her. Yeah, they're like, why is Poppins is like the real Mary Poppins just keeps showing up with like different people playing her.
                                         
                                         Yeah, they're like, why is there a junkie in the kitchen?
                                         
    
                                         He's like, this isn't a man crush, okay?
                                         
                                         There's a difference between a man crush and a bromance because a man crush is a
                                         
                                         Wednesday street and a bromance is a relationship.
                                         
                                         This is a bromance.
                                         
                                         Like, you're paying him.
                                         
                                         So that's like a, a
                                         
                                         brohole man. Yeah, that's exactly right. So Pat and Ron, I don't know who Pat is. He
                                         
                                         looked like Jerry Seinfeld and a Fedora, but then Robin showed up. Uh, she's like, hello.
                                         
    
                                         I just wrote Lisa Rene Duster. I think Pat was an Alisa Rene Duster. And I was like,
                                         
                                         wait, represent no luck
                                         
                                         Someone said that Robin sings the opening credits by the way someone on Twitter. Oh she does. I don't know
                                         
                                         We're gonna put that we're gonna start that rumor at the very least
                                         
                                         Robin can we get better fonts in the opening there my request is in because Robin also did the post production on it too
                                         
                                         Robin not did the post-production on it too. Robin, not all this stuff. She's so good at everything.
                                         
                                         Yeah, she has the dobi after effects.
                                         
                                         She's like, I will change that transition.
                                         
    
                                         So, just like, wow, look at this, friends giving.
                                         
                                         You know, I don't need regaining my life.
                                         
                                         I just need my friends.
                                         
                                         I've just appointed them in the past. You know, I've gotten drunk, I've thrown things, I've run away.
                                         
                                         So it's really important for me to have a day where I don't throw plates and have a fit and run
                                         
                                         away. That most certainly will not happen today. It's friends giving. There's no reason for me
                                         
                                         to have any sort of emotional issues. And I'm sure all the plates will be firmly in place on the
                                         
                                         table with all the food on top of them.
                                         
    
                                         Listen, I don't think anyone's showing up at your house
                                         
                                         when you have a piñata to celebrate one week of no drinking.
                                         
                                         Think that this is going to go well.
                                         
                                         OK, let's calm down.
                                         
                                         I thought the one was to be like, it's my first friend's
                                         
                                         giving.
                                         
                                         I didn't realize it was also like a sobriety checkpoint
                                         
                                         for him.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, he told milestone.
                                         
                                         He told Rachel. He's like, what? That's all that that's to celebrate one week of me not drinking.
                                         
                                         I was like, oh my God.
                                         
                                         He's like, I want everyone to see that I'm not some delinquent who runs off in the night.
                                         
                                         I'm just a delinquent who can run off in the middle of the evening.
                                         
                                         I can run in the day too, damn it.
                                         
                                         I could just run around the house. Turns out you don't need a gravel pit.
                                         
                                         So then John Moody shows up with a shirt basically full open, which I thought was a hilarious look
                                         
    
                                         for a friend's giving. Also, I totally approve because he's got a great body and I'm always happy
                                         
                                         anytime a shirt is open. Yeah, so they start looking through Jeff's phone because he's dating on the
                                         
                                         apps and he's like, it's great because not only have to drive to New Orleans, I could just see if they're in my area.
                                         
                                         Well, I like that he looks at dating, like modern dating as someone who's just discovered postmates.
                                         
                                         Which, you know what, they are similar.
                                         
                                         Well, knowing Jeff, he probably would get the two confused. He's like, so,
                                         
                                         have I told you you have beautiful eyes? I'm just here to give you your Chipotle order.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he's like, yeah, God, I've been looking
                                         
    
                                         for a single Wendy.
                                         
                                         I'm just like making love to a bag of Wendy's.
                                         
                                         The meanwhile, people are still showing up
                                         
                                         and I feel like it has to be addressed.
                                         
                                         Have you noticed at the front of the house
                                         
                                         looks a little like regardons?
                                         
                                         Like there are like these like, these crazy, I feel like vines and things.
                                         
                                         Something like a John Moody needs to work as John Moody Magic on the landscape
                                         
    
                                         being the front there, right?
                                         
                                         Well, I was thinking this is really shitty of Reagan because
                                         
                                         now I'm looking back on the show and remember when this show first started
                                         
                                         they just moved to that house and she's like, oh look at look Look at this. I moved, I moved you hours away from downtown. Well, it's gotten
                                         
                                         the apartment downtown. Bye. It's like she bought him a jail to keep him in. She basically
                                         
                                         was like rockchester and stuck him in the attic. That's what I think. Little Jane ale
                                         
                                         reference. But basically, he's like, not only did she like send him off across the lake,
                                         
                                         I feel like I think he's across that lake, right?
                                         
    
                                         Pontra chain, Pontra chain, Pontra, you know.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I get nervous every time they drive across that bridge.
                                         
                                         I know, me too.
                                         
                                         It's so long.
                                         
                                         I guess so.
                                         
                                         And I get scared too.
                                         
                                         I'm like, what happens if you like need to get off?
                                         
                                         You can't, you have to go all the way across.
                                         
    
                                         But then, not only did she send them across the lake,
                                         
                                         but she's put them up in a house with all sorts of old lady,
                                         
                                         faux, like, Rococo furniture.
                                         
                                         So he has this whole house, everything has little golden flourishes everywhere.
                                         
                                         I think it's time for him to get a new house.
                                         
                                         He should get a cool modern, awesome house, and it should be closer to town.
                                         
                                         Yeah, agreed. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I feel like it's like pretty jail. I don't like it. It is. It is like pretty jail.
                                         
    
                                         So everybody starts showing up and let me see, to me, because like, oh my God, it's so weird to be in my best friend's house because I'm like, we're best friends.
                                         
                                         Like, like, Reagan, like, it's so weird to talk to Reagan because like, that's my best friend's house because I'm like her best friend like like Reagan like it's so weird I'm talking to Reagan because like that's my best friend like it's so weird being
                                         
                                         at her house with that or cuz it's like my best friend it's like welcome best friend like
                                         
                                         that's the math it's like welcome but like she's not here and I'm her best friend it's like totally
                                         
                                         weird yeah it's like when I went to shop right the other day I was like this is so weird this
                                         
                                         like my best friend shop right now it feels like it's Jeff shop right and like that's weird
                                         
                                         so to me cuz like uh what did you do? What did you do? Do you like make everything?
                                         
                                         Like seriously?
                                         
    
                                         Like what is this?
                                         
                                         He's like, Benny helped me.
                                         
                                         Bro, man.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So this guy Doug shows up.
                                         
                                         We met Doug last week.
                                         
                                         I don't know if we'd met him before, maybe last season at some point, but Doug is like
                                         
                                         the mutual gay.
                                         
    
                                         He is the one who's a Reagan's friend in college and then became Jeff's friend and then
                                         
                                         they joke that they share custody of him and so Doug is like is Jeff's first like his first time
                                         
                                         He's ever had like a close friend who's gay and that's like did this very sweet like
                                         
                                         bromance themselves so Doug shows up and
                                         
                                         You know so far so good with Doug. He's done a great job. He's he's arrived and he's kept his mouth shut
                                         
                                         So so far he's done a great job. He's he's arrived and he's kept his mouth shut. So so far he's had a killer episode.
                                         
                                         Yeah, consider this Jeff, the rest of us have more than one gay
                                         
                                         friend, so we've been through this a million times.
                                         
    
                                         Welcome, welcome to your first gay friend Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         He's like, hey, happy Thanksgiving.
                                         
                                         You did everything so great.
                                         
                                         God, you're looking so happy.
                                         
                                         Can we talk again so I can ruin your day?
                                         
                                         That would be great.
                                         
                                         Yeah. It's like, hi, I'm a gay on Bravo. So I'm going so I can ruin your day? Yeah. Yeah. Taco.
                                         
                                         It's like, hi, I'm a gay on Bravo. So I'm going to do something terrible to you right now. We talk here, Jeff. I need to have a
                                         
    
                                         talk with you over there on the side, alright?
                                         
                                         So meanwhile, Reagan and Reese are just like sitting at a table
                                         
                                         preparing their wedding menu for like probably the umpteenth time.
                                         
                                         I'm like, I thought you guys already settled this and talking about like how she has to get some stuff fixed with her dress and Reese need some
                                         
                                         altercations with his tux. She's like, um, we not altercations alterations. God, you're so cute.
                                         
                                         I was normally get to a mad bed like, is it adorable how uneducated he is?
                                         
                                         It is so amazing to have another scene with you right in a row where you're talking about my boobs. Wow, I find this so charming, but only when it comes for you.
                                         
                                         So we go back to Jeff's house and I don't know if you picked up on this vibe, Ronnie,
                                         
    
                                         but to me, the way the scene started was like every single gay porn. Just because the
                                         
                                         way Doug talks, Doug talks like a gay porn star trying to do
                                         
                                         read his lines before the sex part.
                                         
                                         And the fact that it was also this smaller gay guy
                                         
                                         with a football guy talking about some girl
                                         
                                         who wasn't in the scene and Doug's like,
                                         
                                         hey Jeff, I need to talk to you about something
                                         
                                         and I wasn't sure if that was the right time,
                                         
    
                                         but I feel like I gotta tell you
                                         
                                         Jeff's like you can tell me what is it? I won't mind. I mean oh
                                         
                                         God, I don't know if I can say it
                                         
                                         Guys have secrets sometimes Jeff
                                         
                                         Guys have secrets and that is okay by the way your cable is fuzzy. Shall I try to fix it for you?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that would be awesome. Oh my god. I just build some gravy on my shirt.
                                         
                                         Guess we should probably go up to my room so I can change and you can tell me what's been on my mind?
                                         
                                         A few things have come out recently
                                         
    
                                         Dun dun dun
                                         
                                         And I don't feel comfortable
                                         
                                         have come out recently. And I don't feel comfortable with you being out of that loop on it. Oh, I'm it. Now in the gay porn, that would normally be when someone, that's usually
                                         
                                         when we were transitioned with something like, here's something that I don't want you
                                         
                                         to be out of the loop on. And then Jeff would, you know, like take his head and put it down
                                         
                                         there. But since it's Bravo, we instead have Doug telling Jeff, um, Reagan's pregnant.
                                         
                                         So he's like, honestly, it has been a hush, hush thing.
                                         
                                         Your girlfriend's pregnant.
                                         
    
                                         It's like, wait a minute.
                                         
                                         Your dick is in your hand.
                                         
                                         Oh, damn it.
                                         
                                         So Jeff is like, oh, oh, why do you have to tell that right now, man?
                                         
                                         Oh, don't you know, I'm an emotional wreck at all times and I was just barely keeping
                                         
                                         it together to serve the baby turkeys.
                                         
                                         I am sorry, man.
                                         
                                         This is tough.
                                         
    
                                         And then he literally puts his head in his hands.
                                         
                                         It's like, what is this scene?
                                         
                                         Okay, it's the worst scene ever seen.
                                         
                                         Another one of you were hired.
                                         
                                         It was terrible because Jeff is like,
                                         
                                         do you know how many, well, Jeff is starting to spiral.
                                         
                                         And I believe that this is the first time he heard it
                                         
                                         because he was talking about, he's like, man, this room.
                                         
    
                                         Do you know how many conversations we had in this room
                                         
                                         talking about kids?
                                         
                                         And then like what you said, Jeff is like,
                                         
                                         and so he puts his head in his hand like as his hand over his eyes he's
                                         
                                         sort of looking down and then he I think I forgot who had his hand in which but
                                         
                                         like maybe it was like that Jeff had his hand on Doug shoulder or vice versa and
                                         
                                         then Doug Jeff Doug puts his hand in his eyes like what are you what are you doing
                                         
                                         Doug? Why are you why is your hand in your eyes? No, Doug is like, this was so hard for me.
                                         
    
                                         This was very difficult for me.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that was some weird, that was some weird acting.
                                         
                                         So Jeff goes upstairs to his room
                                         
                                         and of course, Tumika.
                                         
                                         Tumika is just a pissed off customer wherever she goes.
                                         
                                         Like, oh my god, are we supposed to sit down?
                                         
                                         Like, are we supposed to sit down?
                                         
                                         Like, where's the food?
                                         
    
                                         Like, this is ridiculous.
                                         
                                         Like, where's our house? Like, we're just sitting here, like, seriously?
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Paris, like, well, we figured if we sat down,
                                         
                                         the food would just start coming.
                                         
                                         That's so far.
                                         
                                         That's not really worked out.
                                         
                                         To me, it's just looking for a comment card.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So, so, yes, everyone's getting really hungry.
                                         
                                         And Jeff is like, I want to, I want to run.
                                         
                                         I want to drive away, but I got to drive away but I got to face it you know
                                         
                                         and you know it's sad he's talked about how we fucked up the relationship and
                                         
                                         pushed Reagan away when he really wanted up babies etc so he is doing a
                                         
                                         classic Jeff Spiral. Yeah so then we go over to Regan and Reese and Reese is like
                                         
                                         wow you know what like we're gonna have oh no Reese is like since you had such a crazy audacious wedding in the first time
                                         
    
                                         I want mine to be better than your first wedding. Oh my god. You're such a group zone
                                         
                                         I'm glad we're sitting down to go over and ask I'm like well. I'm glad for you
                                         
                                         Thanks, yeah, your tra You're a trapper keeper. You're a trapper keeper.
                                         
                                         Bluh, blah, blah, blah.
                                         
                                         You're a trapper keeper full of heart-busting recipes,
                                         
                                         she's saying.
                                         
                                         Do you, let's do pigs in a blanket,
                                         
                                         but instead of just regular little hot dogs,
                                         
    
                                         let's do alligator steaks with cheese, blue cheese,
                                         
                                         and cream sauce.
                                         
                                         She's like, yeah, it's delicious.
                                         
                                         Regans like.
                                         
                                         I just wish my friends could see the way our families are. I mean, thatoss is like, sounds delicious. Regan's like, I just wish my friends could see the way our families are.
                                         
                                         I mean, that might change things.
                                         
                                         I just don't know why Tamica's upset.
                                         
                                         I really don't, and I'm like, really sad about it.
                                         
    
                                         I just feel like I haven't had my friend through any of this.
                                         
                                         I'm like, she's upset because you kept this large chunk
                                         
                                         of your life away from her, and then just sprung it on her.
                                         
                                         And she feels like you guys don't have a real friendship
                                         
                                         anymore, that's why.
                                         
                                         And how would it be different being around your family?
                                         
                                         If your families are forcing you to shotgun wedding
                                         
                                         because they're too embarrassing, you got knocked up.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, what do you expect is Michelle standing
                                         
                                         over there being like, this carpet smells like piss.
                                         
                                         All right, can we change this carpet out?
                                         
                                         It's like going to change everything, Reagan, really?
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                         So, yeah, so Reagan's, she's just like,
                                         
                                         I just feel like Tomica's A-Wall.
                                         
                                         I'm like, well, you were the one who was A-Wall first,
                                         
    
                                         which is what caused Tomica to go A-Wall.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and she's like, well,
                                         
                                         I just want people to be happy for me
                                         
                                         and I'm sick of people judging me.
                                         
                                         So I don't give a shit
                                         
                                         when people say any more.
                                         
                                         I'm like, yes, you do.
                                         
                                         The only reason you're telling anybody
                                         
    
                                         is because you're on camera, okay? Nobody knew any of this until you were already shooting. Yeah. Exactly. And Reese is
                                         
                                         just like, you know, he's like, you got to like talk to her whatever. And then like, you know,
                                         
                                         you got to try, like do whatever you can. And if you can say in your heart that you tried,
                                         
                                         then you can walk away and enjoy life without Tamika. You know what I'm saying?
                                         
                                         Also, I just peed under this table.
                                         
                                         Yeah, we're gonna change out these rugs too,
                                         
                                         because it smells like piss in here.
                                         
                                         Wait, it's good, it's okay, what do you do that?
                                         
    
                                         So then we go back and Jeff's like,
                                         
                                         God, thank God I'm not drinking.
                                         
                                         I totally would run away.
                                         
                                         And he's like, I just, you know what?
                                         
                                         I just like, thanks a lot, Doug, because now I have all this redness in my face,
                                         
                                         and I look crazy.
                                         
                                         I just wanted to go away.
                                         
                                         And Doug's like, I feel like a real shithead.
                                         
    
                                         But I don't want my kid here.
                                         
                                         He's like, dude, get off my dick already.
                                         
                                         Jesus.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Doug.
                                         
                                         I don't know. I really didn't I did not respect that move by dog
                                         
                                         That was such a dick move. You guys hosting you know this guy's like a power kick of emotion
                                         
                                         Why would you tell that Jim right before he like? I don't know. It's just you shouldn't read Reagan do it
                                         
                                         I mean to me could do it. Yeah
                                         
    
                                         Exactly, you know
                                         
                                         Why'd you have to make the gay look bad? Make Tameek do it.
                                         
                                         It probably was a plan hatched by Doug and Reagan.
                                         
                                         They're probably like, well, Tameek is probably going to tell,
                                         
                                         Tameek is probably going to tell Jeff and have a whole big scene out of it.
                                         
                                         So Reagan probably told Jeff, I'm told Doug to like,
                                         
                                         short circuit, Tameek has seen.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         So then let's see here.
                                         
                                         Dinner is about to be served in there doing this.
                                         
                                         Justin's making fun of how John Moody talks. So then let's see here. Dinner is about to be served in there doing this.
                                         
                                         Justin's making fun of how John Moody talks.
                                         
                                         And he's like, I'm a Moody duty.
                                         
                                         And he's like, what, because Moody talk,
                                         
                                         talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
                                         
                                         This is Marvel mouth.
                                         
    
                                         He's like, I am a big, an easy and easy.
                                         
                                         And like, that means he baked some bread
                                         
                                         and ate some lamb and went for a jog today.
                                         
                                         He said you came to hoop and eat.
                                         
                                         They're like, what?
                                         
                                         So Jeff comes back and fixes his scarf for whatever.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and then they can all eat last.
                                         
                                         And so John, he's like, this is great.
                                         
    
                                         This is like baked owls.
                                         
                                         And because you think the Cornish hens are baked owls,
                                         
                                         and the kairans like not baked owls. It's like definitely not baked owls and that kind of thing because you think it'd be a corner chens or baked owls and the carons like not baked owls
                                         
                                         It's like definitely not baked owls
                                         
                                         Yeah, believe it or not the owls were delicious like they like cuts back and like definitely not baked owls
                                         
                                         So Jeff sits at the table and he's like
                                         
                                         He just got that look on his face and everybody's quiet and so very it's like cheers to friends
                                         
                                         giving and everyone cheers and then Kelsey's like, ah, this is awkward.
                                         
    
                                         And everyone's like, what the hell is wrong with Jeff?
                                         
                                         He's about to explode.
                                         
                                         Yeah, because like, um, Jeff is red.
                                         
                                         He's red right now.
                                         
                                         Like what happened?
                                         
                                         There's like tension.
                                         
                                         I want to know what's going on.
                                         
                                         Why's no one talking?
                                         
    
                                         Well, it's not really for me to tell, but I found to know what's going on. Why's no one talking? What's no one talking? And Jeff is like, well, it's real, not really for me to tell,
                                         
                                         but I found out tonight that Reagan's pregnant, which is kind of great because he kind
                                         
                                         of blew up Reagan's spots everyone, even though most people already knew.
                                         
                                         I'm like, you know, you take that, you get that moment, Jeff, you were allowed that
                                         
                                         moment. You, you, you, you took it from Reagan. And I think you're allowed it.
                                         
                                         Yeah. And he's like, well, she didn't want kids with me.
                                         
                                         And that's a tough fucking pill to swallow.
                                         
                                         So sorry, and to me, Rachel is just eating.
                                         
    
                                         This is why Rachel is the best across Bravo.
                                         
                                         She doesn't care.
                                         
                                         She'll just eat through anything.
                                         
                                         She's kind of rolling her eyes and eating.
                                         
                                         Like, where the hell is this guy been?
                                         
                                         And then to me, she has to put some salt on that wound.
                                         
                                         You know, she's like, um, so you're saying you didn't know because I like, I totally felt like you know, I mean,
                                         
                                         I mean, of course you've already knew this. Like, why are you pretending you didn't know?
                                         
    
                                         Because like, totally you already knew this. So yeah. And Jeff was like, no, I did not
                                         
                                         know it. I mean, I, I'm like not talking to her very much. I had to hide the groceries
                                         
                                         from tonight because she was going to come over and get boots because she still gets
                                         
                                         boots. I had to hide the grocery. So she wouldn't find out about tonight that she wasn't
                                         
                                         even comes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh find out about tonight that she wasn't even cumts at all.
                                         
                                         And she was like, mm-hmm, you knew.
                                         
                                         Yeah, it's like, yeah, totally, yeah, you totally knew.
                                         
                                         And he's like, that she was pregnant.
                                         
    
                                         I just pulled my eyes out.
                                         
                                         And then he flicks his plate up in the air
                                         
                                         and throws it across the room.
                                         
                                         And then it cuts to Rachel just like shrugging and eating.
                                         
                                         Yeah, she just like shrugs like, oh, that was something.
                                         
                                         And then just goes back to the food.
                                         
                                         And that was Southern Charm New Orleans everybody.
                                         
                                         Um, should we go move on to real house as a Potomac?
                                         
    
                                         I'm sure you want to do it in the same recap, but do separate recaps. I think we can. We're only at 50 minutes for New Orleans.
                                         
                                         We're only at 50 minutes. No meaning
                                         
                                         It's like we didn't do like an hour and 10 right? Okay, so real housewives of Potomac
                                         
                                         real housewives of Potomac
                                         
                                         This is the mommy issue episode. Yeah, everybody is parental issues big mommy issue episode. I have to warn you.
                                         
                                         So I was actually sort of in the Potomac area.
                                         
                                         I was in the mid-Atlantic this weekend.
                                         
                                         I was in the Chesapeake area in Virginia.
                                         
    
                                         And so I flew back super early on Sunday.
                                         
                                         And by the time I sat down to watch Potomac,
                                         
                                         I was a groggy, groggy podcaster.
                                         
                                         And so I actually found myself dozing off,
                                         
                                         not because of the show, but I dozed off like two or three times just because it was like,
                                         
                                         oh, I'm sitting on a couch and I'm stationary. And so when I dozed off, my brain does this thing
                                         
                                         where it like erases the past like hour of my life. So like I was writing notes, but you will
                                         
                                         definitely have to help me fill in
                                         
    
                                         some of the blanks here because I like have like big memories. It was like a fever dream
                                         
                                         of this episode. Well, this show gets you addicted to juicy episodes like last week.
                                         
                                         Where's the hold down and a pregnant lady is like about to fight the you know the kid or whatever.
                                         
                                         And then we have an episode like this where everybody's just with their mom
                                         
                                         and you're like, oh, you guys can't do this to me.
                                         
                                         I know.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you can't give me a taste of that
                                         
                                         and then take me to Dorothy again.
                                         
    
                                         So we open up with Candace writing down notes
                                         
                                         with her mom about like, here is what Dr. Cand
                                         
                                         wanted you to focus on.
                                         
                                         It's like, well, I you to focus on it's like well
                                         
                                         I want to focus on you not talking
                                         
                                         Ma'am to me. She's like that is not a goal for you mother
                                         
                                         So that's like another typical these two are never gonna get a long scene
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly so Darcy's like okay. Well my goal is that I will not give too many too much advice and Candice goes
                                         
    
                                         My goal is that I will not give too much advice and Candice goes, all right, and mom also agrees not to give any jabs.
                                         
                                         And Dorothy's like, okay, well, and you agree,
                                         
                                         that also, she goes, oh, you're the one who's the shade monster.
                                         
                                         I'm like, Candice, that was a jab.
                                         
                                         You can't call your mom a shade monster
                                         
                                         and not see that that's a jab.
                                         
                                         It's literally a jab.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and she goes, well, another thing is,
                                         
    
                                         you're not my therapist.
                                         
                                         I don't try to be my therapist.
                                         
                                         And she's, well, I'll only try and do that when it's needed.
                                         
                                         That's a jab.
                                         
                                         I was like, no, it wasn't, Candace, you're such an idiot.
                                         
                                         It wasn't a jab.
                                         
                                         What you said was a jab, actually.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but Candace is an idiot, but Dorothy is the idiot who made that idiot.
                                         
    
                                         So I have no, like, I don't care.
                                         
                                         So next.
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly. is the idiot who made that idiot. So I have no, like I don't care. So next.
                                         
                                         So next is Karen.
                                         
                                         So great.
                                         
                                         Remember when I emailed you, when I say email,
                                         
                                         I mean write something down and then melt wax over it
                                         
                                         and stamp it with my case.
                                         
    
                                         So now I'll know if somebody opened it and sent it by horse
                                         
                                         and that little buggy to you.
                                         
                                         Remember that?
                                         
                                         Yeah, right.
                                         
                                         Remember when I emailed you, what a fascinating new technology I can't believe
                                         
                                         they've just created this concept of email in 2019.
                                         
                                         What a strange thing.
                                         
                                         And as we all know, email is when you write, you take a piece of paper and you cut out the
                                         
    
                                         letter E and put it in an envelope and mail it to someone.
                                         
                                         You know, email Ray?
                                         
                                         It's when I gave you that can, then you listened and then I had a string
                                         
                                         running from that can do another can and I said hi rain.
                                         
                                         Oh, you know email, that's when you sign up for a e-moo quarterly and they send you a little
                                         
                                         email blast, which of course, you know, is a feather in the mail from an e-moo.
                                         
                                         Do you know there's action e-moo on on the loose I think in North Carolina right now.
                                         
                                         Remember when I sent an emu to ram and I said I don't want to be buried I want to get
                                         
    
                                         stuffed with you and we'll be stuffed together like an emu.
                                         
                                         Hey remember when I sent you an emu and you said I want this we let a loose in North
                                         
                                         Carolina and everyone's been loving it ever since Karen and Ray have these little short scenes and they make no sense like
                                         
                                         Remember when I emailed you to let you know that I don't want to be buried. I want to be stuffed with you
                                         
                                         So what the fuck kind of scene is this?
                                         
                                         Yeah, that was the entire by way that was a scene in its entirety and we never came back to it
                                         
                                         So then guys guess what Robin's doing I have a property I'm selling
                                         
                                         like oh yeah and then Monika's like with her with her kids in the car asking if they
                                         
    
                                         want more siblings and they're like no so we finally land them we land on like Ashley
                                         
                                         she's at Oz and she's saying how she's like, she likes to work at Oz to keep her mind off of all the stress and life, which is funny because Oz just went out of business.
                                         
                                         So I guess maybe it's time to get into video games.
                                         
                                         Yeah, someone's opening a blockbuster soon.
                                         
                                         I know. So her new thing is that she's saying that because, you know, despite all the craziness with a scandal with Michael,
                                         
                                         that she and Michael are closer than ever because of it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I mean, look, there's nothing to bring you closer than finding out you share a hobby with your
                                         
                                         husband. You both like boys, but yeah, they cannot lie. So Jizelle joins to just be as messy as possible.
                                         
    
                                         You know, yes. So as she's like, we are closer than ever. And she's like, I'm highly concerned.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So now I'm glad you're happy.
                                         
                                         How was Michael?
                                         
                                         I thought he'd be here since this is his establishment.
                                         
                                         Because Michael is not allowed to shoot at this point.
                                         
                                         So just so, for those of you who didn't know,
                                         
                                         he got suspended from shooting.
                                         
    
                                         So just, I'm so excited.
                                         
                                         He's so excited.
                                         
                                         He's like, I'm being like, where's your husband?
                                         
                                         Where's your husband? We're really happy, huh? Why isn't he on camera? Yeah, she being like, where's your husband? Where's your husband?
                                         
                                         Where you're at the huh? Why isn't he on camera? Yeah, she's like, well, I had my event for
                                         
                                         every huge beauty this past weekend and the number one question was, what matches my skin tone?
                                         
                                         The second question was, what's the deal with Ashley's husband? And I just didn't know what to say.
                                         
                                         I mean, I guess I could have said, I don't know, but I'm sure they're working through it and everything's
                                         
    
                                         fine, but that's no fun. So what should I say about your husband who grips males asses for fun?
                                         
                                         Yeah, and Ashley, you know, too can play at that game because just else like being a fakey messy. So Ashley's like
                                         
                                         Oh, well everything's great because I am arguing so we have sex twice a day including today wink
                                         
                                         And so it's like the stab still of like who's gonna be fake or you know.
                                         
                                         Yeah and Jacelle's I mean Jacelle's craft is just like you know I was thinking about it.
                                         
                                         Are you okay with the butt squeezing because if you are then you know and
                                         
                                         Ash is like so the implication is that he did do it then.
                                         
                                         She's like well I mean that is why there's a court case and Ash is like well you
                                         
    
                                         know the wording that's in the press you know, the wording that's in the press,
                                         
                                         you're repeating the wording that is in the press.
                                         
                                         And she's like, well, he did do that in the past, Ashley.
                                         
                                         She's like, that was different because I was his friend
                                         
                                         that he did that to in the past.
                                         
                                         It wasn't like it was a stranger that he didn't know.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Which is a good point, I guess.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, and she's like, well, I'm like,
                                         
                                         like, why would he ever do something like that?
                                         
                                         And she's like, well, that was my question.
                                         
                                         Which again, is like, implying that it actually happened right? Yeah she's like well look all I'm
                                         
                                         here for is you okay because look I just don't think it's right to put your hands on anybody a man
                                         
                                         a woman a boy a girl a purple person is Robin would say you know like if you're married and
                                         
                                         now she's like well it's honestly it's like not a big deal and just like oh so you're married and Ashley's like, well, it's honestly, it's like not
                                         
                                         a big deal.
                                         
    
                                         And just like, oh, so you're cool with it.
                                         
                                         So again, trying to get Ashley to imply that it did happen is very funny.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Well, that's what you get if your friends with Jizal and Ashley takes it and stride for
                                         
                                         the most part.
                                         
                                         So then we go over to a doctor's office where Mooney, you know, Mooney has surprisingly
                                         
                                         not been on my nerves with her pregnancy,
                                         
                                         but she's writing it.
                                         
    
                                         She's walking a tightrope between you and me.
                                         
                                         And, you know what, she may be falling off of it because now we have to sit
                                         
                                         and watch not only her get this 3D sonogram, but like she drags Karen and
                                         
                                         Candace just like this to get a sonogram.
                                         
                                         And like a, first of all, I think the 3D sonograms.
                                         
                                         No, I'm saying this because I am not a parent. So I'm sure if you're a parent,
                                         
                                         getting the 3D sonogram is like awesome and it's so cool and you're like, oh my God,
                                         
                                         that's my child. It's probably so special. To me, I think they're creepy. So I'm watching them,
                                         
    
                                         like I do not understand this right here, you know. And then when we see the picture, it looks like Karen going like this.
                                         
                                         Mm.
                                         
                                         Mm.
                                         
                                         Mm.
                                         
                                         Mm.
                                         
                                         Mm.
                                         
                                         Did that sonogram just ask for security?
                                         
                                         Did that sonogram just think a can attached to another can
                                         
    
                                         was an email?
                                         
                                         Did that sonogram just try to fact something?
                                         
                                         Did that sonogram just has to get stuffed
                                         
                                         Hey, is that sonogram using a corded phone?
                                         
                                         So Monique starts to see now. She's like I love 3d pictures
                                         
                                         What is the scene? Okay, so
                                         
                                         She's I we'd love to do 3d reveal parties like oh, oh, I somehow missed that section, the hallmark store.
                                         
                                         I've got to go back to see if they have those cards.
                                         
    
                                         Like, happy 3D reveal party.
                                         
                                         So Chris has his scene with Monique, which is every scene
                                         
                                         that Chris has after Monique is shot with the other lady.
                                         
                                         And he's like, on really upset,
                                         
                                         you were out there threatening to drag people
                                         
                                         while you were pregnant
                                         
                                         Now let me sit in this chair
                                         
                                         As he like fall student the first floor
                                         
    
                                         Because it's just a giant
                                         
                                         Didn't support my weight. I'm not much aiming. I'm just saying he's a very large man
                                         
                                         He's the size of a small sky screen. Yeah, he's like, listen down there.
                                         
                                         I'm not happy that you're threatening to drag people.
                                         
                                         Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
                                         
                                         So Karen and Candice come.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and of course the first thing Candice says is,
                                         
                                         I'm gonna try not to get emotional.
                                         
    
                                         Oh, you know what?
                                         
                                         Stop that.
                                         
                                         And stop trying to fold up that,
                                         
                                         stop trying to fold up that hospital gown into a little square and blight your eyes with it.
                                         
                                         I know. She's like, well, you take a 3D of this squared up, the squared up tissue that I made.
                                         
                                         See what's inside of there. Look, the juice of the clown. That's a jab. That's a jab.
                                         
                                         She's like, hey, that baby just jabbed at me. So Chris immediately gets the hell out of there with the kids. He's like, time to go somewhere else away from these crazy ladies.
                                         
                                         Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
                                         
    
                                         Well, the thing about Nick does it really pisses me off is she acts like she's doing everyone else a favor.
                                         
                                         Like every little thing she does, it's like when people get married and they're like, oh, you want to be invited to my wedding?
                                         
                                         It's like, oh gee, do I get to go spend hundreds of dollars
                                         
                                         on you and waste a weekend?
                                         
                                         Like, oh, wow, you're sure doing me a favor.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         This is my 3D reveal.
                                         
                                         And you know, it's basically an olive branch for Candace.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, how's this an olive branch?
                                         
                                         By her lunch, don't make her watch her fucking 3D baby thing.
                                         
                                         I know, she's like, well, I invited Candace here
                                         
                                         to look in the toilet with
                                         
                                         me as we examine my morning sickness. It's basically an olive branch for her to see this part.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you're welcome. And then Karen is just trying to be so excited about everything.
                                         
                                         So, oh, thanks for, thanks for sharing. This is everything. Yes. It's a fucking baby picture. Can we all calm down?
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly. And so, um, yeah. So Karen basically says that,
                                         
    
                                         so they basically Monique and Candace after the big fight at the, at the rodeo, um,
                                         
                                         they buried the hatchet and they had nice texts. So everything is like fine. And Monique
                                         
                                         says that she just misses bubbly Candace.
                                         
                                         And Karen, based on her suggestion,
                                         
                                         that Candace's relationship with her mom
                                         
                                         is oozing over into her relationships,
                                         
                                         which is what everyone's been saying.
                                         
                                         But for some reason, Candace doesn't lose her shit this time.
                                         
    
                                         Well, she says, when you came back in the apologize,
                                         
                                         I saw on your face that you were a real friend.
                                         
                                         I'm like, yeah, and you saw that no one else was there.
                                         
                                         And you don't have to shoot with somebody. So yeah, suck it up, Karen.
                                         
                                         This. Yeah, exactly. No, like we're just like sisters.
                                         
                                         And Candace is like, you know, I'm just still trying to figure out like what it's like to
                                         
                                         be like a wife and a daughter and business partner with my mother. And I don't want to
                                         
                                         cry. I don't want to cry. Oh, come on. It is so different. Having everything paid
                                         
    
                                         for now that I'm married. Like, it's just weird. It feels different to cry. I'm like, oh, come on. It is so different having everything paid for now that I'm married.
                                         
                                         Like, it's just weird. It feels different to go wham.
                                         
                                         Okay, so let's go Apple picking, which is Ellen and her kids.
                                         
                                         Talk about Apple's falling way, way, way the hell far away from a tree.
                                         
                                         I know these daughters are like the best daughters on all of Bravo.
                                         
                                         I mean, like, we really are. We've never seen actually three better people on Bravo.
                                         
                                         Just whether they're daughters or not daughters, cast members full-time, part-time, guests on watch and happens.
                                         
                                         No one has been as good as Juzel's daughters.
                                         
    
                                         I know. They're like the best human beings on Bravo.
                                         
                                         I'm like, what are you doing? Get away from the wicked witch.
                                         
                                         What are you doing here?
                                         
                                         So they're picking up moldy apples, which also feels metaphorical. What are you doing? Get away from the wicked witch. What are you doing here?
                                         
                                         So they're picking up moldy apples, which also feels metaphorical.
                                         
                                         And what we were talking earlier in the recap
                                         
                                         about how we would rather like things
                                         
                                         that are sprayed with pesticides and stuff,
                                         
    
                                         that's what happens when you go to an apple farm.
                                         
                                         You're like, what the fuck is this?
                                         
                                         It's got holes on it.
                                         
                                         It's called a real apple.
                                         
                                         Okay.
                                         
                                         Yeah, exactly.
                                         
                                         So they're all they're apple picking.
                                         
                                         And then they sit down at a table or whatever, and just
                                         
    
                                         all's like, so is everyone excited about the new house?
                                         
                                         Like it's going to be great because it's really going
                                         
                                         to let you guys create your own space.
                                         
                                         I'm like in five years when it's done,
                                         
                                         and they're off in college.
                                         
                                         Yeah, good point. So then she's like, oh god when it's done and they're off in college. Yeah, good point.
                                         
                                         So then they, she's like, oh God, it's so great being a good mother.
                                         
                                         And they're like, yeah, you're never there.
                                         
    
                                         So you know, it'd be great if you came to a soccer game once in a while because you've
                                         
                                         missed every single one except the first one.
                                         
                                         She's like, oh, well, I thought they understood that I was out there building my businesses.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you know, that's what, that's what tweens and teens understand the most.
                                         
                                         When their parents have less time for them
                                         
                                         because they're trying to earn money,
                                         
                                         they're famously tweens and teens
                                         
    
                                         are really understanding about that stuff.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and she's like, what a thought they would be sensitive.
                                         
                                         And then Angel is all upset.
                                         
                                         She's like, you don't even like me.
                                         
                                         You only focus on the other girls.
                                         
                                         And she's like, that is not true.
                                         
                                         Put your name in again.
                                         
                                         What's your name again?
                                         
    
                                         What's your name again?
                                         
                                         Which one are you again?
                                         
                                         So that they they raid her, they gave her,
                                         
                                         they gave her a run tomato score, but essentially,
                                         
                                         and Angel gives her a 75%.
                                         
                                         So Jizelle is now determined to, to,
                                         
                                         up her ratings with Angel. Yeah, she's basically
                                         
                                         the final season of Game of Thrones. She's like, I will fix the this. So who burned down
                                         
    
                                         this upload, Jazeal? So she goes, she's telling her, what changes would you like me to make
                                         
                                         as a mother? And Grace goes, leave the house more. I was like, yes, I love these kids. I know.
                                         
                                         So now we go to Robin.
                                         
                                         Hi, I'm Robin.
                                         
                                         With Shirley, her hair stylist.
                                         
                                         And Robin's talking about being in the final stretch
                                         
                                         for her flip.
                                         
                                         The least interesting flip we've ever seen on Bravo.
                                         
    
                                         And we've seen some dull flips, like Lisa Vanderpump's kitchen.
                                         
                                         We've seen some bad flips.
                                         
                                         And this is just like, oh, I can't
                                         
                                         wait to see how this shitty house
                                         
                                         went to us became a slightly less shitty house
                                         
                                         over the course of two seasons.
                                         
                                         Yes, and then something else
                                         
                                         is taking forever to rehab this one thing.
                                         
    
                                         I'm like, no one's buying either your flip
                                         
                                         or this one flip, okay?
                                         
                                         She's like,
                                         
                                         one wants a baby girl,
                                         
                                         but I'm gonna put my foot down.
                                         
                                         If I have another baby, we should remarry.
                                         
                                         I'm just like, wow.
                                         
                                         But also like Robin, it's, it was frustrating.
                                         
    
                                         It's for years, they're like,
                                         
                                         Robin, just admit you want to get back together.
                                         
                                         Like just get back together, just get back together
                                         
                                         and just like, no, no, no.
                                         
                                         And now she's like, well, if you want to have a baby,
                                         
                                         we'll have to remarry.
                                         
                                         I'm like, well, so you want it, you've wanted to get back
                                         
                                         together all this time.
                                         
    
                                         Okay, just please be honest about it.'ll have to remarry. I'm like, well, you've wanted to get back together all this time.
                                         
                                         Okay, just please be honest about it.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and the hairstylist is like,
                                         
                                         okay, I'll get on one about that too,
                                         
                                         because I mean, come on.
                                         
                                         Like, if you're gonna, yeah,
                                         
                                         you should definitely get married.
                                         
                                         She goes, no, because I don't know if getting married
                                         
    
                                         again is a deal breaker for him.
                                         
                                         Oh my God, you are pathetic.
                                         
                                         You are a bitch-
                                         
                                         She's a fucking pathetic, okay?
                                         
                                         You're worried that the guy guys gonna leave you. Oh my
                                         
                                         Yeah, she's like playing house is no longer working. I'm like you are literally playing house. You are doing a flip. Oh
                                         
                                         So then Ashley goes to therapy and as all people on bravo who go to therapy? She's like
                                         
                                         Yeah, I guess it's been a minute since I've seen you And they said the last time that she's gone to her was on camera. I know, it's 12 years ago.
                                         
    
                                         So, uh, yeah, so she's talking about the Michael rumors and how she, when she found out about them,
                                         
                                         she froze and got lightheaded and she just, you know, she doesn't want people to see her as like
                                         
                                         sad and all like doesn't want people to see her whaling about
                                         
                                         whatever. I wrote down whaling. Was she whaling? This is when I started to fall asleep.
                                         
                                         I don't know, but this is I started to fall asleep to just I mean I wasn't, but you know,
                                         
                                         just figuratively because here we go. It's like Ashley's gonna try and change the narrative by
                                         
                                         having to find your you know find your missing parents. Which I actually thought was interesting.
                                         
                                         My fall asleep had nothing to do with what I thought was actually,
                                         
    
                                         I thought it was, you know, like when you watch like Jack's go to therapy
                                         
                                         and he has like Jack's and Brittany, they have fake revelations.
                                         
                                         It's like whatever. I do feel like there was like,
                                         
                                         there was like some gripping TV actually happening,
                                         
                                         but at the same time it was very obviously gripping. You know, like the therapist was essentially like,
                                         
                                         so you know, like how you don't have a father. Do you feel like that maybe, do you see the parallels
                                         
                                         basically between you and Michael and actually it's like, oh, I'm like, oh, Ashley,
                                         
                                         I mean, come on now.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, do you think, do you think maybe your father not being in your life is why you're
                                         
                                         not upset that your husband grabs butts?
                                         
                                         I was like, I don't get this, okay?
                                         
                                         I just wrote down on board.
                                         
                                         That's what I wrote.
                                         
                                         So we differ on this scene.
                                         
                                         Well, I mean, I still liked it.
                                         
                                         And then I mean, it was sad.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, she was like a like abandoned as like one year old.
                                         
                                         I'm not saying it's not sad.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I'm just, I just wrote on board.
                                         
                                         Yeah, so there's like a whole thing
                                         
                                         that Herapistite has actually like,
                                         
                                         imagine her youngest self and then old Ashley
                                         
                                         has to hug her inside and just crying.
                                         
                                         And she wants a hug and she just,
                                         
    
                                         she just wants approval from her dad.
                                         
                                         She just wants to get in touch with her dad again
                                         
                                         That's where we leave off. Yeah, at which point we then cut to the phone the the atomic phone
                                         
                                         The scared atomic fun. Well, I'm like what is happening in this town?
                                         
                                         So now let's go on a date with Juzel. Let's go on a mommy daughter date with Juzel and Angel
                                         
                                         Yeah, so Juzel's giving Angel a little bit more extra attention since Angel gave her
                                         
                                         a bad review. She's like, so I just got you some chocolate milk. Do you did my review?
                                         
                                         Rating pick up on the tomato momatter? No, okay. Tomato meat. So let me try to spin this in a way that makes sense.
                                         
    
                                         If not that I don't like you, it's just that you are so good.
                                         
                                         I don't have to worry about you.
                                         
                                         And therefore, I don't have to hug you
                                         
                                         or say your name ever.
                                         
                                         So therefore, because you're so good.
                                         
                                         Yeah, you're just good.
                                         
                                         So I don't have to pay attention to you.
                                         
                                         It's like the difference between buying a ficus and a succulent
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, you know you water yourself
                                         
                                         So thanks do you suck it?
                                         
                                         Second let's don't take that much care right maybe I should say cactus
                                         
                                         You know what let's not even go down this path Ronny because I'm gonna have a lot of
                                         
                                         Water plants
                                         
                                         You know, you know that I've never kept a plant alive in my life
                                         
                                         I'm like I have no idea how plants work.
                                         
                                         My little cycling garden is like a daily source of stress for me. There's a lot of me like looking at the window just staring like, is it okay?
                                         
    
                                         Should I water it now? How are you doing out there?
                                         
                                         Or just like wait a minute
                                         
                                         So Jacelle Basley says that Angel is a parent's dream
                                         
                                         Because she's smart. She's self-reliant and all that stuff, so she just sort of thought she didn't have to give her all that TLC, but of course she needs TLC because she's a kid.
                                         
                                         So Jacelle is like, okay, well, is there something that we can do together?
                                         
                                         We can do some sort of activity, and Jacelle goes, I hate leaving the house.
                                         
                                         Oh, a kid after my own heart.
                                         
                                         She's like, okay, well we could do mommy projects,
                                         
    
                                         mommy and mommy daughter projects.
                                         
                                         How about building a second floor?
                                         
                                         That'd be great.
                                         
                                         You know what, I'm gonna let you do it all by yourself
                                         
                                         and then you'll get the biggest hug afterwards.
                                         
                                         So then we go over to Ashley with Sheila, her mom,
                                         
                                         who we haven't seen a lot of the season.
                                         
                                         And she has scrolled welcome on the front door.
                                         
    
                                         I did not notice that.
                                         
                                         What I did notice was Ashley asking if the water was tap or not because tap water is like
                                         
                                         apparently bad for fertility so she can't have tap water.
                                         
                                         I'm like, Ashley, I support, like that's fine, drink whatever water you want.
                                         
                                         But like don't get mad at Candace then if Candace is like, you know me,
                                         
                                         I've got this argument that I've been saying,
                                         
                                         which is that like Ashley starts to talk,
                                         
                                         like, oh, I can't drink, does I can't drink that?
                                         
    
                                         And then she's drinking coronas.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         You know what I mean?
                                         
                                         I'm not really sure that this tap water
                                         
                                         isn't gonna mix terribly with this tequila soda
                                         
                                         I brought my purse.
                                         
                                         Exactly.
                                         
                                         I mean, alcohol is literally poison.
                                         
    
                                         I mean, it really is ultimately poison.
                                         
                                         This is delicious poison.
                                         
                                         It's what I learned from my 10th grade chemistry teacher,
                                         
                                         Mr. Johnson.
                                         
                                         It's actually poison.
                                         
                                         Whoa, whoa, whoa.
                                         
                                         David tried to poison me on our anniversary.
                                         
                                         Ah, ah.
                                         
    
                                         Ah, here lies Shanna Bedore,
                                         
                                         killed by her husband who poisoned her with negative thoughts and infidelity.
                                         
                                         Oh, this is actually a sad scene. Damn you. Damn you so sad. This was a sad miss.
                                         
                                         This was a sad, this was like my heart was breaking for Ashley during the scene. And I'm going to make you talk about it. I was like, okay, go ahead, Ben.
                                         
                                         We're like, you do it. You do it. I want to use this on a Monday. Okay. I want some wig pulling.
                                         
                                         I want I want someone to make fun of a Karen wig. Okay. I know. Well, we did get a new wig from
                                         
                                         Ashley because obviously they shot some pickup shots. So they there were a bunch of interviews with
                                         
                                         Ashley, you know, while, you know, she just had her baby. So this is when she was pregnant and she had some crazy wig on. It was like crazy.
                                         
    
                                         It was, it was a crazy, crazy wig. So you got a little like she took Katie's wig from last
                                         
                                         week and got it styled decently and then put that on. It looked like a, like a, I'm not even
                                         
                                         to go there. Well, speaking of Karen also had a crazy new wig. Did you see Karen short wig that she was well? Yeah, so that's her like
                                         
                                         Linda Dan O'Wig, but bond
                                         
                                         Short like I'm wearing a t-shirt dress
                                         
                                         It's like Lisa Vanderpumping Karen. Okay. The point is I actually wants to meet her dad and her mom's like oh geez
                                         
                                         And she's like well, I want to know why did dad leave?
                                         
                                         You know what was what went on with that?
                                         
    
                                         And she's like, listen, your dad, just at first,
                                         
                                         he said he wanted to have a baby
                                         
                                         and then something changed in him.
                                         
                                         And, you know, we went our own ways.
                                         
                                         And then Ashley tells this heartbreaking story
                                         
                                         of how she found her dad on Facebook and reached out to him
                                         
                                         and said, hey, look, I just want to, you know,
                                         
                                         I'm not expecting anything from you.
                                         
    
                                         I just want to have some kind of relationship with you.
                                         
                                         And then he blocked her.
                                         
                                         He blocked her.
                                         
                                         He blocked her.
                                         
                                         And then on top of that, like, and then she was like, well, you know, he's a loner, you
                                         
                                         know, he's just a loner.
                                         
                                         And Ashley, this is so sad.
                                         
                                         Ashley was like, but even loners feel something for their own offspring.
                                         
    
                                         And so then the dad hasn't actually blocked Sheila
                                         
                                         from Facebook, although I'm sure she's blocked,
                                         
                                         she's blocked now.
                                         
                                         So Ashley's looking at her dad's profile.
                                         
                                         And you know, she sees pictures of the dad
                                         
                                         with his own family.
                                         
                                         It's just heartbreaking.
                                         
                                         Like, no one should have to feel that way.
                                         
    
                                         No one should be meant to feel that way.
                                         
                                         And like, fuck this guy, that's not right.
                                         
                                         Like, man up, like whatever, like, you know,
                                         
                                         even if you have a family now, you know,
                                         
                                         like you, this is your daughter too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, this is depressing as fuck.
                                         
                                         I felt ashamed to be a man.
                                         
                                         Yeah, so now, so now ultimately, Ashes like, you know what?
                                         
    
                                         I'm gonna go down there to wherever that is.
                                         
                                         And I'm gonna find him, I'm gonna try my best.
                                         
                                         And if, you know, if it doesn't, you know,
                                         
                                         if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, I'll know I try my best. I'm like, I'm, I'm, to try my best and if you know if it doesn't you know if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out
                                         
                                         I'll know I try my best. I'm like I'm I'm you know what you have to do what you have to do Ashley
                                         
                                         But just know that the track record of people trying to get in touch with their strange relatives on Bravo is at 0% success
                                         
                                         Oh my god. I know. I'm still kind of traumatized by that Kenya scene. Oh, yeah
                                         
                                         Kenya, there's like I feel like there's a few others
                                         
    
                                         It's this is not gonna go well. Yeah, it was really sad
                                         
                                         So then we go over to can this in the car with Chris and check did you cut your nails?
                                         
                                         He's like yes, cuz no you did not. I'm looking get your nails
                                         
                                         I'm like are you about to cry is she about to cry? Is this is that a jab or an emotional moment for her? I can't tell
                                         
                                         That was a jab or an emotional moment for her? I can't tell. That was a jab. Shut up, mother.
                                         
                                         Yeah. By the way, Candace looks like she's wearing a hefty bag with like little bedazzled
                                         
                                         elements on it. She looks crazy. Yeah. Candace has some crazy looks. Yeah.
                                         
                                         Uh, so she's like, well, that fight with Chris in front of the restaurant was totally embarrassing.
                                         
    
                                         So I'm going to pretend to be nice to him. And he's like, okay, let's go have couples dinner, okay?
                                         
                                         You know, I hope you make,
                                         
                                         I hope you make up with your friends.
                                         
                                         I hope I'm glad you made it up with Monique
                                         
                                         because I know that she's a firecracker.
                                         
                                         She goes, yeah, she can't be a firecracker.
                                         
                                         And he goes, yeah, but I mean,
                                         
                                         if she's a firecracker, you're a nuke.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         So they show up at this restaurant because they're having
                                         
                                         dates, they're having dinner with the huckers and the sannmules. And I was really excited
                                         
                                         that like young Linda Fiorentina was their waitress. She's just sitting there like, what
                                         
                                         do you guys want to have? I like that Candace is dressing more like her personality
                                         
                                         because she's literally given herself pink eye. Like who wears pink under eyeliner this is the craziest thing I've ever seen
                                         
                                         yeah and then can this is like um I like to order a steak cooked somewhere between medium rare
                                         
                                         and medium well can you guys do that and Chris is like medium medium it's in my cookbook okay right
                                         
    
                                         next to the case it is medium it's how this will be reviewed. It's, and Karen's like, look, I, I hope that, um, I hope that she can make up with
                                         
                                         her husband. I don't like seeing them fight. I, I don't want to see her all like,
                                         
                                         Jazelle, all dusty and divorced on an island by herself.
                                         
                                         So the Monique's are showing Ray the sonogram, the 3D sonogram, and he's like,
                                         
                                         oh, like, he's really trying very hard to carry.
                                         
                                         He's like, wow, your fax machine has great resolution.
                                         
                                         He's like, Karen, you didn't put on your wink for this picture.
                                         
                                         So now, Candace is talking about ultimately how she wants to get a new house with six or
                                         
    
                                         seven bedrooms for family.
                                         
                                         And Chris is just like
                                         
                                         stress. He's just like you just staring into his plate like oh my fucking god. Well how
                                         
                                         we're gonna do this. She's a nightmare. Yeah, and Canvas is like well we're gonna need a new
                                         
                                         place but we're gonna need five or six rooms because of all the babies we're gonna have.
                                         
                                         And you know of course a room for my mother. Yeah, great. By the way, you don't need a room for your mother.
                                         
                                         I mean, it would be nice, but you don't need one.
                                         
                                         Yeah, but you can add an extra $200,000 on to your house.
                                         
    
                                         You do not need one.
                                         
                                         Well, I like that she's still planning on her mother paying her rent.
                                         
                                         It's like, that's what she learned from going to therapy.
                                         
                                         It's just like, make sure that her mother is more respectful to her
                                         
                                         while she's getting her rent paid.
                                         
                                         It's like, oh my god.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and Karen's like, oh, girl, I was like you and we had brand-in. I said, we need four rooms and
                                         
                                         six tube TVs and three fax machines and two laser displays. Never needed any of them, except for the laser displayers.
                                         
    
                                         Entertainment all day long.
                                         
                                         Hi, by mention how sexy we still are. We still do it all the time. Aging doesn't mean that you don't make love.
                                         
                                         Trust, honey. honey red look at this
                                         
                                         She takes in a waister and she's like
                                         
                                         Chris and Chris is very uncomfortable like us. Well the food is very tasty
                                         
                                         Awkward transition
                                         
                                         Doesn't always oysters go untouched.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And then he can't just start singing.
                                         
                                         Just eat it.
                                         
                                         Just eat it.
                                         
                                         Whatever.
                                         
                                         And Ray's like, you sing very well.
                                         
                                         Other people try to sing.
                                         
                                         I was like, ooh, look at Shady Ray.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, Shady, Shady Ray.
                                         
                                         So then, of course, they immediately turn the conversation to Ashley and Michael.
                                         
                                         And Monique, Monique's, you know, it's sort of defending Ashley saying that the scandal
                                         
                                         has brought.
                                         
                                         She's saying, Monique goes, speaking of non-singers, I saw Ashley.
                                         
                                         Yeah, sort of defense her.
                                         
                                         So yeah, she basically says that Ashley is claiming that Ashley and Michael are closer
                                         
                                         now because of the scandal.
                                         
    
                                         And so, basically, and we learned that when the grouping happened, we knew it was at
                                         
                                         the Rainbow Party, but essentially they were all calling for Michael and they didn't
                                         
                                         know where he was and he was in the basement, which is where he grouped the cameraman, but
                                         
                                         there are no cameras, security cameras in the basement, so it wasn't actually caught.
                                         
                                         I'm like, why is he in the basement in the first place, by the way?
                                         
                                         Yeah, this whole thing is weird, but it's also like, I don't know. But it's just so gross
                                         
                                         that the campus is like, don't you have cameras in the basement? She's like, no. But certainly
                                         
                                         somebody saw it or heard something and Chris is like, will there house to be a witness?
                                         
    
                                         And so they're like, where's the witness? Who witnessed it? Who is the witness?
                                         
                                         And I just like the thought of them going like door to door.
                                         
                                         Like, did you see this?
                                         
                                         I know, it's like a Michael Criden book.
                                         
                                         So Chris is the possible witness, the flaming gun, the flaming cookbook author,
                                         
                                         because he was called as a potential
                                         
                                         witness, because apparently it happened right in front of him. Essentially, the cameraman
                                         
                                         was right there and he was writing Chris's face, but Chris didn't actually see the group.
                                         
    
                                         So he's a potential witness, but he's not a star witness, if it were as it were.
                                         
                                         Yeah. So was he in the basement? So confused. I don't understand what I don't understand what I think we need to understand what this
                                         
                                         basement actually is.
                                         
                                         Is it like a rack room or something?
                                         
                                         Like I don't understand why so many people run this basement.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and Chris still a big Chris still can't can't get past the original comment.
                                         
                                         He's like, well how many people heard him say the succulent sausage comment that is crazy.
                                         
                                         I'm like, keep up Chris.
                                         
    
                                         Keep up.
                                         
                                         I know he's not talking about my sausage.
                                         
                                         Right? Right?
                                         
                                         Oh my goodness.
                                         
                                         I'm not pretty.
                                         
                                         I was about to say that Candace is like, you know what?
                                         
                                         Like with all the people there and all the cameras and all the camera phones, there has to be some footage of a group.
                                         
                                         I'm like, listen lady, we are on our phones a lot, but we are not as self-involved
                                         
    
                                         as you are, and it's not like constantly selfie video time, all right? Like, it is possible
                                         
                                         that things could happen that we're not captured on video. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, that was
                                         
                                         a dig mother. That was a dig. And that brings us to the end.
                                         
                                         The real housewives of Potomac.
                                         
                                         Hey, I'm so then Charm N' Orlands.
                                         
                                         Well, what a Monday.
                                         
                                         What a Monday.
                                         
                                         What a Monday, fun day, everybody.
                                         
    
                                         Thanks so much for being here with us.
                                         
                                         We will be back tomorrow with some below deck.
                                         
                                         And if you want the real housewives of Dallas, preview,
                                         
                                         or trailer recap, you can go find that on our Patreon
                                         
                                         starting Tuesday.
                                         
                                         Thanks for being here everybody, we will talk to you next time.
                                         
                                         Bye!
                                         
                                         Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watercraft and add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon
                                         
    
                                         Music app today.
                                         
                                         Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us
                                         
                                         about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
                                         
                                         in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey
                                         
                                         at wundry.com slash survey.
                                         
