Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Pouty with a Chance of Meatballs

Episode Date: July 9, 2022

This week on Southern Charm, Austen learns that Madison is engaged, Shep reveals his fears of having a baby, and Kathryn and Chleb come to a crossroads. Plus, concerning developments surrounding meatballs, rain driving, and tuna maintenance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Madelker and joining me today on this illustrious Friday afternoon

is the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hey Ronnie, how are you? Hi Benoons. Hi. How you doing today? I'm doing good. I'm super excited because it's Friday and tomorrow I'm gonna join the reality gaze here in Austin, Texas

over at E-Moz, they're doing a show. And I'm gonna talk about this very show, seven, show! So anybody in Austin who feels like coming out tomorrow, do it, go get tickets, I don't know, it E-Moz. Look up a reality gaze, they'll be there somewhere, but that's gonna be super fun. I'm gonna leave the house, I'm leaving the house. That's gonna be very fun.

And you know, you have to give a big hug to Matt and Jake for me since I haven't huged him since January. But yeah, that's gonna be great. Everyone should go get tickets. Anyone who's in that area, or even if you're not in that area, go get tickets and watch that show because it'll be super fun.

Today we are talking Southern Charm, BTWs. But before we dive into that, first of all, a reminder that take a seat, we'll be back on Monday, this coming Monday, there's so much shit to talk about already. I mean, everyone, like the pitchforks are out for Kyle Richards, it's hilarious. So we can continue talking about that.

But there's, there's, who knows what's even gonna happen this weekend? That'll be on Spotify live. That's at seven o'clock on the West Coast, 10 o'clock on the East Coast. Also we got an email from someone. Hi, someone I'm sorry I didn't write down your name. I think Jonathan. Jonathan. They asked, are we going to be recapping House of the Dragon later this summer, which is the new Game of Thrones series. It's like the prequel of the Targaryens. That's going to be on HBO Max, I think in August. And the answer is yes, 100% yes.

Okay, Winter is crappin'ing is coming back for House of the Dragon. So get ready for that. Get your Star Wars cups out of the shot and get ready for it. That is going to be a lot of ignorance on display in that in that recap because we don't really understand all the lore, so we don't come from a very nerdy place. I just know that the whole cast is blonde, so Shep and Austin going to be trying to fuck on the whole time. That's really all I know. And that's kind of the level of commentary you can expect on that. So super excited to get back into that. True, but we have both been

religiously playing Elden Ring, which was written by George R. Martin, or like he had some sort of writing connection to it. So, at least we are still, like our minds are primed and ready. Like we've been in the world of high fantasy for the past few months, and we are ready to dive into this.

So, I'm so excited. I'm actually more excited to do the recaps with you than are ready to dive into this. So I'm so excited. I'm actually more excited to do the recaps with you than I am to watch the show. I'm actually sort of ambivalent about, but I'm excited to break it all down with you. So that will be so excited about the show because it's like about all these blonde people, but they're like, but which blonde person is better?

And I'm like, oh, now you see how the rest of us feel in Texas, okay? Being around all you fucking blond. So you have blonde privilege with everything. I'm excited to be really confused by like more lore because you know, it's like, you know, in the original game of Thrones, everything was like, well, back before the great world, the talk, Aryans, rule the law, the king came and then you get to this and now it's going to be like, oh, this is the Great Wall of the Togged Arians, ruled the la la la la la, then the King came, and then you get to this, and now it's gonna be like, oh, this is the stuff that happened, this is the lore that they would always talk about, now we get to see it play out.

But you know, they're gonna have more lore, they're like, well, back in the early times, in the forming stones, the stones were the ones that were la- the rule the world, you know, you're like, oh, now I gotta learn about the stones or something. I was gonna be like, lore lore. Lore, let's be super lore was gonna be like, lore lore. Let's be super lore. Super lore.

Freed lore lore. So lore. Yeah, so that's gonna be fun. I'm excited to go back on Reddit and just read the threads so I can understand what the hell's going on before you treat cap. Like, wait a minute. What was that even about?

Okay, well today we're on something that's also got a lot of lore. It does, I can't. Southern charm, it really does. A sad, real American lore. How fun. This show, I mean, this show. If there's any show that can compete with Game of Thrones in terms of having a sprawling cast

and lore, it's Southern charm oddly enough. My Catherine's pregnant and she told me, I'm'm the daddy not you shit, but we do need to do a paternity test. Like I didn't even remember that scene. That is a very lorry scene. It's so lorry. Well, I mean also that like half the cast their family is from like lower times. Like they have family roots that go back to lower, you know, like hundreds of years doing terrible things. that go back to lore, you know, like hundreds of years doing terrible things. Oh, fun times. It's like warm hug as man, Seth and Charm. Oh, feels good.

Yeah, Gaby, see, hey, women's rights. We're gonna do great there, everybody. I'm feeling it. Okay, let's go to Seth and Charm. Bobcue's breakups and betrothals. Yeah. Naomi is the narrator again. I don't know if she's going to be our permanent narrator, but it's her second week in a row where she's the narrator. Also, I think that last season they didn't even have a narrator. So I feel like they're back onto it. So she's doing

her own narrator. That's a big crown because that used to be Cameron's thing, remember? Yeah. So that's big that they felt. I think they did it last year because I feel like I remember Greg being like, Ray with Leon's other charm on. I feel like I remember that. But you know, I guess it's nice. I love that Naomi, you know, you know, we've all quit that job where you have to go back to that job and you're like,

oh, early so I have multiple times. And where I'm like, fuck all of you, I don't need this. And the next day I'm like, turns out I need it. So, hi, what's my section? But, you know, you go in with like a better attitude, like this time I'm gonna make it work.

And I'm gonna be positive. And Naomi's not at all. She's just like, shut up. Oh, like, so I'm not talking to you. Shut up. Would you like someone to narrate this for you? Shut your mouth. She's like, I have Lord Mousel.

Shut your Lord Mousel. She's like, let me add some Lord to this. Okay, I'm plugging here everybody. I'm so sorry. What are you talking about? I have Lord. It started in 1995. She's like, need to get paternity tests.

Okay, yes. So we had that job we quit, we come back to, and Naomi just doesn't care. She's not gonna come in with that positive attitude. She's like, previously on Southern Charm, like why are you even watching that? Well, you dumb fucking idiot. Love it, love it.

Love it went to the park with her kid. Cut your stupid for watching that scene. Idiots. Yeah, pretty much, that's like the vibe. And in fact, we do see what everyone's doing around town. So Leva is on a swing and she's asking her son to push her. And that's the last we see of Leva for the episode. It's on that scene, Leva. You did great. Great work with that swing work. Wow.

When we said we needed a swing on the show, we didn't mean a literal swing, but you're really nailed it. So then we meant just like a chorus person, who can come in and do any role in the chorus. So here's my question. Has Leva mentioned that she left her husband? I mean, is that going to be a thing on the show or are we just not going to talk to her? Did that happen? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I realized that happened. Did it not? Was it in my head? Is that gossip that I just dreamt about and thought was true? Hold on. Leva left her husband.

This is how rumors begin. Yeah. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Leva has been arrested on 44 charges of fraud? Okay. Leva, bull no part game of thrones. Are we not going to talk about the fact fact that love is a Targaryen? So wait did that not happen okay, so maybe it didn't happen. I don't see it oh Maybe she divorced her house because it says love a boat apart has said goodbye to her gorgeous home

So maybe that's all it is because they would have said on the internet. Okay. I'm sorry I'm sorry everybody out there. I'm gonna talk about it We are not gonna talk because it didn't happen Well, it's gonna talk about your made up bullshit in your head, honey. Okay Well listen as long as George Bush is still our president find with whatever comes our way I just I love how you were like For a moment you had this moment of kind of outrage like that. Like you felt like, why are we not discussing this? This is a major thing and I don't want to, I feel like Brava's pulling the wool over all of our eyes

when there's some major issue like she's trying to distract away. She's doing a swing scene distracting away from her family problems. I did. I had that cast anger. It's like, we put everything on TV. We're new. You're gonna share your life. So I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from. Wow. In my head, but you know, it is good that everything you

Google from Southern Charm, there's always a picture of that rat face Thomas in it. Like why is Thomas in here? No one asked about Thomas. Okay. It's a very specific search. Okay. Why is it Thomas Ravano?

Thomas Ravano, who made a cameo, as you already mentioned, on this episode. So, and in your birthday card that I bought you from cameo, just kidding. Could you imagine? Ben, this is Thomas Ravano. Ron, I love you very, very much. We need to get a paternity test. Ron I love you very very much we need to get a paternity test. Ben this is Thomas Rav now I'm here to say while you may be a liberal snowflake it's still your birthday so happy birthday. We're never gonna get through this recap I'm sorry I don't know why I'm in this kind of mood

I'm not even on Friday. It's Friday we still have girls have girls to do after this. So then, uh, all right, chop, chop, man. Stop wasting everybody's time. So Caleb's working out. And so I get tired watching it. He's like jumping up on a bench. I'm like, stop it. And then, um, Vanita and her assistant are moving a TV in her place.

And yes, the assistant is like, ooh, look at that squat you just did. Squats are the moment. It's giving Ella against. Just stop, just stop. You don't have it in you. You don't have the gay man in you, assistant. And then Austin is pretty much where you think he'd be. In bed, dirty sheets.

Yeah, his alarm goes off and he just goes back to bed and never closes his mouth once. So there's that. So then we get a music change because now we're past the what people are doing in the day, which is nothing. Now we go from like, don't put the boom, put the boom, put the boom to a bow. And now we're at the barrel. BAM! B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B I think that he just like heard the familiar sound of someone sideling up to a bar and like, oh well I don't mind if I do yeah, I was just Yeah, I just happened to be in a bar across the street there, so it's all you over here

You guys have you guys have any beer here? You guys have a tap? Yeah, you guys have a tap in the dog bark Oh, you actually do. Oh man. I've been asking like question for so many years and so many dog barks kind of finally worked out I feel like you need to clown nose and a cigar. You know those old sat-cloud paintings. And a flower that squirts water. Yeah. So you're just going to turn them into Charlie Chaplin, I feel like. So yeah, so Shep is there with little Craig.

He's like, you better not go in the marsh. Craig! And then of course, we also get a flashback of when they were at this place. I specifically remembered it. When he said don't go in the marsh, I was like, are they at that same fucking bar where the dog got into like the bog and came back all muddy

because for some reason that really bothered me and sure enough it was. Yeah, yep, he's one of those dog parents that takes their dog to a lake and then yells at them when they go on the lake You know make sense So he goes to the bartender he's like how fast the local blonde I like boss I'm not gonna commit to anyone though. Just can we tasteers of each one Yeah, he's like listen, I'm gonna try I'm gonna taste this blonde for five years and then

if I decide I don't want anymore, so be it. It's totally normal. So um, Craig is a little craggy to barking and he's like, what? Why don't you go play? You're on leash, you're on fatterd. Oh, I'm like, please say that to Taylor, please. Hey, Barkeep, can we set up a flat screen TV? Little Craig now loves watching the Vietnam War by Ken Burns in his free time.

Why do you want food? I just gave you a burrito. Gosh, you're just like Jekyll and Hyde. Hey, Pringle, there's a little Jekyll and Hyde in there, right? And he's like, uh, like Craig and Austin, yeah. Uh, uh, uh, but Jekyll and Hyde like Craig and hide. Hey, Pringle, there's a little jekyll and hide in there, right? And he's like, like Craig Amalston, yeah, uh, like Jekyll and highlight, Greg Amal. All right, that was a little week. I've only had two beers today. So yeah, I got to work my way up to them, sort of getting a running start right now. So then Craig is driving, talking to Paige. We got a indirect Hannah Berner cameo, because we hear Paige go, Hannah, I gotta go,

I love you so much. I'm actually still working on TV. Okay, bye. And so Craig is like, because like, so did you talk about me? And she's like, I said, you're like the cutest human ever, and I'm like obsessed with you. But that was, I was just talking to my reflection in the mirror. And then I was like correct cool, too I'm obsessed with y'all She goes, yeah, I noticed that yeah obsessed with y'all I was trying to think of a reason not to like you, but like I can't think of a reason to not like you So like you're still like think you know And he's like I can't figure out what to do with his most in situation because like

And he's like, I can't figure out what to do with his most in situation because like, like he was trying to figure out my timeline with you. Like if that overlaps my timeline with her, like that was like pretty inappropriate. Like, you know what? He wants people to have a problem with y'all, okay? And Craig is like, I'm not sure if I want to be friends with him anymore. And she goes, well, the day that he stops having her back is the day that you know, should be stopped being friends with him.

Also, I'm a little concerned that he'd be at full price for that city shirt that he wears all the time. So so many problems. I mean, he's just trying to have people have a problem with you. And I raise them. And that's off all. Like, have you told them how lent is a slut?

Yet a really old slut. Tell them, that works for me. Works for me works you meet every season So back to Pringle and chef Pringle's like oh, so you're saying craigs the problem man He's like yeah Quirk is a problem. I mean come on like I know you're really busy in your pillow empire But you so after like foster your friendships like I don't're really busy in your pillow empire, but you so have to like foster your French abs like I don't care where you are in life. I concur

Wait, did you say we should get another beer cuz that was what I was concurring I don't know what concur means, but I know that you like words that people don't understand really in modern language So I used it. Give me a beer! By all means have another libation, you're unfettered too! Well I'm not gonna burn my bra or anything. No not liberation a libation! All right I'll try it then. Twist my arm!

Could I get one of your liberation brews? I've never heard that. No! Can I get one of your liberation brews? I've never heard that. No. Also, I love that they're all acting like Craig just invented, you know, the new, like, alternative to fuel, you know, it's like to oil. Like wow, Craig's success in nuclear fission technology for automobiles has really affected his friendships.

I know. It's like... Garsh! His pillows with lobsters on them, I... It's like we can't even be friends anymore. He's even gone into crabs. Wow! Wow, he's real pillow gates. So real pillow gates. So real pillow gates. So Shep's like, uh, yeah, well, I hope him and Austin patch it up, because that's a really important part.

And that's why I told Austin to crack does nothing but talk shit about him to try and break them up. Maybe I'll have a barbecue for the boys. That's me. Just want to bring everyone together, gosh. Yeah. Um, and the whole idea, And then we go back to page, she's like, I think that like what y'all need to do

is like, you need to have, like, you and Austin have to just sit down and put it on the table and then we can clear the air. And when you clear the air, you'll realize how shitty Austin is and we don't have to ever talk about him again. Remely tired of dealing spit in my eye. Every time he tries to make a joke at the table on

double date night. So that would be great. Yeah. Um, meanwhile, she's like, let's talk about my barbecue, okay? Because we're going to do it at my house. A bar? No, my house, man. Do you live in a bar?

No, my house. Do you serve little bowls and nuts or pretzels? I'm in. I'm in. I'll be there. Listen, you got the cues. I got the answers. Okay. I know all the boring answers. No, Barbecue is not about questions about bars. So just what you thought so then you're like, okay, cool. So that was a great scene. They're like, no, my scene's still going. I want to talk about Taylor. So now, Chef is like, he's like, so guess what? Taylor was late.

I was so scared, but it was a false alarm. Also, she was late. She didn't show up on time. I was so mad. Then Prinkle drunkenly says something I don't understand. It sounds like he said, it's not opening that for sure But I didn't know so I rewind it It's not opening that for sure for sure not opening that

K it or open the mat. He's got like a bottle. He's like trying to use a bottle opener on a pebble on the ground There's a beer bottle stuck in the ground here. I'm just gonna open up. Don't try and do that one with your teeth. Well, all right, bro. Well, let me just get down to my knees here. I got a straw. I can separate it right out of that stone. Is that a... Well, I don't know about getting married.

I like autonomy. And I don't want that to come to an end. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh my God. Get it while you can, okay? Although Thomas is still getting people wanting to marry him, I guess there's just no end. You know it's a city thing. It's a fucked up city thing.

Yeah. Also get your tubes tied if you don't want it so bad, okay? That's true. To a real men do when they don't want it. They get their tubes tied. Yeah, exactly. So Pringle is, he's basically like, well, I had kids when I was 35 and then chef is like, whoa, gosh, when I was 35, I couldn't have kids.

Are you kidding me? And this is when we get the flashback of chef sitting with Thomas Ravinnell and Thomas Ravinnell is like, Catherine, she's two weeks late on a period and she says, I'm the daddy and not you, but we're going to have to do a paternity test. Yikes. And it's so crazy seeing flashbacks on this and seeing everyone look so young. I mean, these two don't look young, but she looks like a younger 60 years old here.

Yeah. He looks like a smoother somehow. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then we're back and Pringles like, but you want to kid someday, right? Like it's just what you do in there. And she's like, no, I don't. I mean, everyone's like, wow, so rewarding. Oh my god, I have a baby.

Oh my god, look at my wife. So I want to look like, whoa, it's like a little tiny person in the baseball cap with an American flag on it. But you know what? I feel like my life is gonna be done. It's like, oh no, it's just your version of life that you know right now is done. Let me put it to you this way.

When you finish a bottle of beer, do you say there's no more beer in the world? No, you open up another bottle. Just that version of the beer experience was done. He's like, well, you guys been arguing about it and the thing you keep in the argument and chefs like, well, the more it becomes a talking point, the more I disengage. And Taylor's like, yeah, I know, but I'm like, yeah, but is it registering it? Well, maybe it's not having sex with that protection. You don't like, there's no like what are you doing when you're like because he says later he's like when I using protection so we'll see what

the fuck kind of thing is that to do. You know you're basically telling someone let's leave it up to fate. Yeah. It feels like if you don't want something to happen just take the very simple measures to make sure it doesn't happen. And then you're set. Um, well, not guaranteed to be set, but you're going to help out yourself out a lot more. So then, um, by the way, I'm sad that I'm at a place in my life that when I hear someone say disengage and like, disengage, disengage, dis change from my cat, where are you? Meredith Mark just swoops in and featheries leads. I'm like, and this is me, I'm from this Charleston show.

You can't dress like a big bird in Southern Charm, they'll shoot your ass. She's gonna need to have an outfit changed before she comes to this show. So he's like, why screw with something going so well? Like, my life isn't set in stone right now. Like, I don't even know I'm gonna be in six months. I do you're gonna be in some fucking house that your parents bought you in the same fucking place You've always been wearing stinky clothes you found on the floor and box of shorts It's just sniff to make sure they only smell two days old. That's where you're gonna be just older

Okay, why are we pretending that you're gonna like suddenly go off and win the Nobel Peace Prize for like that you're gonna like suddenly go off and win the Nobel Peace Prize for like excavating volcanoes and Rwanda, get outta here. I mean, Chef is so predictable that we recognize the marsh that has dog went into lessons. He's that predictable. But then Pringle does, if you have a kid, if you have a kid, you know where you'll be.

He's sort of doing that like, I have a kid shaming, or at least I'm projecting that into it, but I'm sensing that he's doing the like, once you have a kid, it opens up your life. So then, and it's like, well, you'll know where you're being six months if you have a kid. Yeah, and a fucking dog park having a beer.

Like what changed about your life? Come on, you guys. I know where you'll be in six months once you have a kid, not hanging out with friends So Taylor Meanwhile, be well now. It's another the other side of it now. We have Taylor at kids on king on mark and she's with Marcy Marcy Marcy Toxic is fuck I'm saying that right now that that is my pre judgment of this Marcy. I don't trust this girl at all

I This is my pre-judgment of this Marcy. I don't trust this girl at all. I agree. There's something I don't trust about her. I am like, I think she is up to no good. She is. No good. She looks evil. I don't trust her. She looks like she's too, you know, her whole thing about talking about her money.

I don't know. She's gross. She looks so good. She looks so good. She looks so good. She looks like,. Take some, who's like, hey, want to meet in a baby store? Who does that to someone they know is desperate to have a baby and is not like in the position to have one yet, you know. But I know what we can do. Meet in the baby store. Why do they're honey? My family owns this road. I need her to have like a little wooden pipe and just like an open can of like, you know, beans or something.

She reminds me of some sort of villain, like a cartoon villain and I'm trying to place it, but I'm also afraid that if I do place it, it's going to be too cruel. So everyone just think of a cartoon villain and it's probably the one I'm thinking of. She's giving me like lady papa at this point. I don't mean olive oil because I love her, but like a lady version of pop-I. Honestly, she's giving me like that burlap, that burlap, like, you know what, no, I'm just not going to. It's not going to.

It's not going to. No, not sack boy. What was the bad guy? What was the bad guy and I remember for Christmas? Oh, Jack Frost, right? No, no, that Jack Skellington was. Oh, Jack Skellington was a good guy. Yeah, the bad guy.

I don't know, but I already agreed. I know, I agree. I actually am being too mean for myself. I'm like, I'm taking it all back. I sense that she's evil, but even evil people just don't deserve to be like, or a lapsack. There's something about her. Yeah, it's not like a look thing.

It's not like a physical look thing. It's an actual look like from the eyes. It's her look that she's given. I think it's what it is. I think it's what it is. Wait, but that being said, do look, I can't believe I compared her to this thing. I'm so mean. Look at thing. I'm so mean.

Look at Ellen. I think it's not me. I'll be boogie for Christmas. Oogie. That's terrible. That's a ghost. It's a burlap ghost. It's a burlap ghost.

I turn into the nice woman, the podcast. I apologize. I said you know, but I'm the pro. I mean, he's lovable. You know what, I take it back. I take it back, Marcy, because I thought, well, no, because in my mind, I thought like the pearl up ghost is like one thing, but then when I saw the picture, I was like, whoa, I overshot that one. I overshot it.

Okay. Anyway, the point is, I think she's evil. I'm getting an evil sense from her. She does have evil. Okay. Anyway, the point is I think she's I'm getting an evil sense from. Yeah. So Taylor's like, Oh my God, your beeps are looking good. Are they filling up with milk? And she's like, I know. I don't know. She's like, well, are there things you mean like maybe like a diaper bag? So they do some diaper bag shopping and Taylor's like, wow, I can't wait to see what your baby is going to look like. And Marcy's like, wow, I can't wait to see what your baby's gonna look like. And Marcy's like,

oh, here, I got it. I'm gonna throw this in Ultra Sam. Looks like John fucking loser. Can you hear me in there, baby? Let's try to set it. You look like the poor women of the family. Can't get used to it. This is, you know, I had just a rant,

like literally a day ago about how I can't stand when people, like their baby, it was Diana, Diana Jenkins being like, oh my, this their baby, it was Diana, Diana Jenkins, being like, oh my little baby, she's like a potty animal, you know, like when people like, like, like basically project all sorts of attributes onto their babies when their babies are just basically,

you know, bubbling goo, you know? And which is fine, that's what babies do, but parents a lot of times project all this stuff onto the baby that they think the baby's doing. And an extension of that is when people are like, oh my god, look at the ultrasound. Looks just like John. I was like, okay, it's an ultrasound, okay, man,

you need to relax, but then they shut a close up and I was like, oh, actually, it's not so much that the baby looked like John. It's more like John looks like an ultrasound. Well, they did, she did, too, because she seems disinterested to me. Like she's talking like, I want to have a baby, but then she was all like, oh yeah, I was a party girl. I don't want to fucking get married that loser, but you know, here we are. I've got the impression I'm getting from her, but then she takes the older sound and then she found a picture of her husband's face angled exactly the same way as the fetus is angled.

It's so weird that she did that. I think he did it. I think he was like, oh my god, it looks like me here. I went through all of our eye cloud for, you know, the past 11 years or whatever. I think he did it and put aside by side and she just has it because I can't imagine her doing that. Just, it's not going with my pre-judgment. Oh gosh, I'm still feeling incredibly guilty about what I call you. I get over it. Oh my god. Get over it.

She's a wonderful person, guys. She's so lovely and she's beautiful. Okay, so Taylor's like Taylor's talking about like how she is Like her family is very traditional and religious and so even though she had a like she was scared that she had the false alarm But she wants to wait till marriage before she has a baby, you know, but you went off the bill This makes no sense. This is making me fucking crazy. I didn't even think about that. Well, she believes in the sanctity

of a natural birth, maybe. So Marcy is basically like, Marcy tells us the whole thing about how Shep is really afraid of commitment and that no one in their family has been divorced ever. And if he had a wife and they broke up, like he'd be told it looked down upon harshly. Yeah, I found this interesting because she's basically saying it's not that he's afraid

of marriage as much as he is afraid of divorced because you're a real loser in their family if you're divorced. And she's like, I really respect that. He's wearing it for the long home this family. Trust puns pay out monthly, not mumpsum, so it helps. I guess. Meanwhile, really got us all in mind with that. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like that's a lot of undue pressure to put on people in that enormous family of theirs. And I'm sure there's some unhappy marriages in there. I'm just going to say it right now. Yeah. And she says, well, if you do get pregnant, I think he would rise to the occasion. Well, yeah. I mean, it seems like that's what's going on, right?

Because he's like, we're off. It's not like it's a secret that they're not using birth control. He's like, neither one of us is using birth control. So I don't know. I guess he's like hoping that he's forced into it somehow. Like, gosh, wasn't my choice, but here I am. You know, yeah, I can't tell. Boy, I can't typical manchild.

Yeah, so now we go over to Madison at a bar with Vanita and they order some drinks and Madison's like, have you been, you look so do we? Which I know that's, I guess I I compliment being duly, you sort of like sunkissed or whatever, like there's sort of like a glisten. I don't ever want to be called duly. No one called me duly. Yeah, because when I'm duly, it's like, wow, Ronnie, did you just walk from one end of that restaurant to the other because you look like it's been through a marathon. So yeah, when I'm doing it's like sweating, okay?

But for her, she just means like well moisturized. And they do that whole like, wow, you're giving me gospel girl to have a girl. She's like, I'll be your blier. Okay, Serena. Oh, both of you shut up. So, shut up. Madison's like, well, birthdays are coming

at my chef party. She's like well yours is actually over But you're still celebrating it anyway. Oh yeah, it's on the leap. Is that a leap or a thing? You just never set up about your birthday. Yeah, apparently it is that was something that was you know when when whoever invented the horoscope That was one of the stipulations Who did that you started the Who started the horoscope? Who was the one who created that? Someone sat down at one point. I was like, guess what?

This is what I think about the areas. You know? Oogie Boogie. So, Fennida, so Madison, they start talking about how Madison's in love. And she's like, never did I think I would meet a man that would make me want to be a better person. Oh, God. Yeah. So yeah, she's hard for me to believe this because that's a movie thing to say, right? You make me want to be a better person. I'll just be

a better person. How about just, you need someone to make you want to be a better person. That's so gross. It's like putting a lot of responsibility on me. Yeah. Um, yeah, I, I, I like that. Just be a better person. Don't meet someone who makes you want to be a better person. I actually think she's doing a great job. Um, and I base that solely on the fact that she takes her son

to that incredible Sunday place that she wants to do last season with Austin. Oh god, I've wanted to, I'm, I may need to get a, oh, I'm gonna get a Sunday today. I'm not even joking. I'm not really excited that she's even supporting the kid is that she's supporting ice cream. Like wow. My like, warp views on parenting are so on display this week. I can't even hide. I'm just like a wretch. They are. And you're gonna pull a chef and just be like, well, guess what? You, I have a baby. And Dom and I are and have to a baby. Don't think so. Well, we might adopt a baby,

but I just won't care for it. I'm gonna be like Carolyn Sanbury, like it's yours. You do it. Neither of us want a baby. Until that baby can work a PlayStation controller. I'll have nothing to do with it. Baby, bring me my cookbook.

Thank you. So they're talking, Vinita's like, oh yeah, he has you grounded. She tells us their love story. She's like, I met him at a bachelor at party Scottsdale. We met eye contact and I feel love instantly. I definitely think he could be the one. One time I said born and he said for calm.

Let's go in and our vass. I'm also going to have corn today, by the way. No joke. He has big, be say a big corn energy, you know what I'm saying? Well, you're having quite a day over there. You're going to have a Sunday in corn and no children. So have fun. Have fun with your Friday day. Okay, perfect. And what are you up to? Oh, Mama Sunday, before And no children so have fun have fun with your Friday What are you up to oh mama Sunday before after your cornpan tell me the truth I'm having a Sunday

In the morning and it was spontaneous because I don't have kids It's 10 a.m. And I'm having a Sunday No, so Yeah, they're talking about this guy. She says he has big corn energy. And so she's like, what about you? Do you die? And she's like, no, because I'm just like so hyper focused on my influential career, you know?

It's like really hard. Like, I don't want so many in my space when I'm thinking, like, what skirt I'm going to pair with, what boots in three days for my next photo. She, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, yeah, it's really hard, you're a career girl. I am gagging. Get out of here, sorry, that's my assistant.

She's still trying to workshop some gay phrases. Yeah. More energy please. She is a moment. Just go go back to the house. Just go back to the house. Let me have my lunch. Well, Vanita has issues because she found out that her ex was

cheating via an Instagram DM, which is why you should just when you're dating someone, you should destroy their phones and their ability to communicate with the outside world. I know that sounds like abusive behavior, but it's called keeping something together. We've got all the tips for living your life today. All the tips. Southern living. There's some about Southern. I'm trying to care about the things out all our, all our sage advice. So, Vinnie is saying it was nice to see Madison and Austin getting along so well.

And she goes, I am retired. As in, I am retired of the drama. See what I did there. I had surprisingly good wordplay actually. I don't really get what she's saying at the time to be honest, but I think she's like so pretty and I love her voice. And she's me to Austin. I just mean to Austin.

I'm generally pro. And she inserted herself into a love triangle with J.Lo, which I still think is such a triumph to be able to do that. And she starts fights in the most subtle way, like right now she goes so yeah I'm retired but you know that party was interesting huh I saw people screaming and Vinnie that's like yeah Olivia was screaming at me for trying to help Naomi which didn't happen okay like let's be honest and she's like and I was like excuse me now and she goes well you know I feel bad because I saw her get attacked

she's like who Olivia she goes uh-oh she's uh feel bad because I saw her get attacked. She's like who Olivia? She goes Oh, oh, she's uh-huh now, Vimita, why don't you just I'll be she makes like the zip it like to shut your mouth Yeah, like the shut face the yeah, yeah, and I was like wow Madison just came riding hey, honey Good to see you. I love so good to see you want to have a birthday party together Can we have some devil eggs and some french fries your fries? You're a bitch. I was like, ow, what the hell? I was totally surprised. I thought there'd be like, yeah, I'll live here.

She needs to learn her place. I thought that's what the vibe was gonna be like, but Madison was kind of like, what are you doing? And so then Vinyan's like, well, I'm too much of a fixer. I like to come in and fix. Like my assistant, I've been trying to show her RuPaul's drag race.

Nothing's really sticking, but I'm gonna work at it. I love to fix. So Madison says, okay, what planet are you living on? What planet are you living on, Venita? Okay, Naomi speaks out five different languages. She's not a dumbass.

She'll figure that, not our problem. And then we get a, that's a devil deck. That's a devil deck. That's. And I thought it was gonna be an argument, you know? Cause I would have been like, excuse you. I was just trying to stick out for my friend. That's how I would have been. But Vinnie just,

Vinnie is like, actually she makes a good point. Like, oh, wow, a real friendship. Vinnie does like very level headed and normal. Like remember, I mean, last week, they're sort of overlooking the fact that last week we need to already apologize to Olivia. We need to already, when it's like, oh, by the way, that wasn't cool, so sorry about that. So I'm gonna why they're acting like they're in a feud.

Yeah, yeah, Olivia is too, which is weird. Don't trust her either. We'll get her. We'll get to you. Yeah, I don't trust Olivia at all. Mainly because she's like, got hearts and her eyes for Austin. So that makes me automatically feel like she's trash until she's not trash.

Her mom is terrifying. So speaking of, let's go to her mom, Robin. So Olivia is at home at her parents house and her mom is making her like a big, fancy snake track and to make my snake tracks I put my hair up cause you definitely want your hair to get in the track but that is too that I serve a try I bring my hair down cause I'm a lady it's like that some marvellous Smith I wet my hair back and forth except it's more like I tie my hair up nicely in part. I took my hair up nicely in part. Doesn't have the quite same ring

Then really rhyme, but that's just why I'm a happy state home cheese maker for my daughter So Olivia's like wow mom, I could really get you to this and she's like yeah, well thanks me, baby. Just staying home I may not be Jewish, but I'll tell you my favorite song like, yeah, perfect. My family's just staying home. Mm-hmm. I may not be Jewish, but I'll tell you my favorite song. Tradition. Tradition. Waves don't work. Waves don't work.

Tradition. Is this the little glass of tequila I poured? Is this the glass of tequila I just drank? She has. She has. She's not home so don't tell. I like that Robyn's like a secret drinker at home when that is why making triangle cheesecake and cheese plates for her.

Yeah, those triangles, well, I mean, it was, I don't think she's, those look like they're like pre-slice And then she just like took them out of the supermarket train just put them on a different tray and she arranged them almost like in a It was not like a chevron pat. It was like I was like a son. Like she was making a son out of them I don't know it was just this weird Collection of triangles that bothered me, but I also like BP of triangles that bothered me. But I also like BP. Like the like the BP logo. She's like the BP. This cheese plate is to celebrate the real workers in our country.

Kissing oil. This cheese plate is to celebrate the real heroes of the Gulf of Mexico. B.P. Okay, they didn't know what was going to happen. That's not their fault. Little callback to the war in mental disaster from 10 years ago. But, um, what I was going to say was I also like that they have, they have got, um, uh, what I was gonna say was I also like that they have they have got um, there are two dogs there that are like begging for cheese and the dogs are named exactly what you would imagine Robin would name two dogs. Lala and Marlin. Of course. Lala, I'm talking to a lady right now. Oh, Lala, you so so won't suffer that cheese.

Hey, my love, I had you asked for cheese. Oh, oh, my God. And Mervly, how do you do your liquor shops? Your little sense of phrase. Don't tell your daddy I said that word when he comes home. Like that. Daddy, I love the secrets. I'm so friends.

So they Olivia's like mom is it too early for wine? And this is when she's like daddy's not home. So it's not to tell him. Oh, your daddy. He's Mr. right. Olivia's like, yeah, I mean, you guys have been together 35 years in a day and one hour and two minutes. God, I miss him. Oh, I just know all the qualities you see in your day.

That's what you should look for in a man. I'm like, what? So she can spend the rest of her life like I'm hiding in a closet with a bottle of wine. Sounds great. Robin. Yeah, thanks, Robin. So Robin is asking about Austin.

And Olivia says that Austin wants to basically Netflix and chill and she's like, uh-uh, we need to put a little bit more effort into that one. He's got to lease the size of rice and then serve up some jungle cheese for you. He got the round girl for that Netflix and chill. And Olivia's like, yeah, but I'm 30 and all my friends are settling down and getting married. So it's like, I'm not like Jason dating today. I'm dating to make my parents happy for me I just want someone who's sweet and consider it like I want you to pick me up at the airport and like if you're getting Postmates ask me if I want some postmates. I mean, I'm not beginning anything from it But it leaves asking me. It's like oh my god

What the shallow-ass list is this in a pur- get a fucking personal system with your parents money I'm not beginning anything from it, but it leaves asking me. It's like, oh my God, what could a shallow ass list is this in a part? Get a fucking personal system with your parents money. Shut the fuck up, you don't deserve love. Who's list is that? Or did we oppose to make it? Well, I assume the meant that if we're sitting on a sofa together, you should invite me to your postmates order.

But I think it is a little irrational if you're in two separate houses to try to like be like, you want to get them to postmates, you know? And then she's like, no, I see, I saw it the way that you saw it, but still, that's what you're worried about, and who are you dating that you would even happen? I put you back. I put you back. If you're dating someone who orders something off of postmates and then is like, oh yeah,

by the way, just order something. Oh, you wanted something? No, that person is done. I'm sorry, I'm actually with her on that. No, of course, but what I'm saying is like, how is that even a thing on your list? Like, who wouldn't offer you something on postmates? You know what I mean?

It's just like a very shallow list. Like she's worried about having a ride to the airport and like having someone offer her, you know, a face order. It's just weird sad, it's shallow. Which is very apfocus, because she's also like, and I shouldn't be uber and he should be coming to pick me up.

And another thing, I shouldn't have to believe in a young review, you should be setting out five stars and send them to the restaurant yourself me And if you can't say how you feel that mean 21 words or less like okay, okay so The mom's like well, you know, you went to a party and you saw some people over there What were they thought? Hopefully they were married if they were together and Louis like well. Yeah, also I shouldn't be ubering Yeah, you just said that. Sorry, and the mom's like well, did you meet anybody interested in that party?

He's face wasn't buried into their telephone She goes well, there was a little bit of a hiccup at the party. And she says about the little spat and Robin is like, well, you can't control who's going to be a sassifraskan, but as long as you're an ass, you don't have to worry about it. Sorry for my language, but it's just Eddie Murphy, raw. I'll clean it up. And so Olivia tells us, yeah, well, like, I don't really know why it was like that big of a deal, but like, it should be squashed easily.

And like, I'm not done with Naomi and Venina. I was just like thrown off with that. I was like, so what, there's like, you need to have a fight about it. What is she saying? I'm not done. Like, I'm not done with them, meaning I'm not done being friends with them. Or does she mean is she saying? I'm not done with them, meaning I'm not done being friends with them. Or does she mean like, well, I'm not done with them.

I don't know. It seems sort of like one of those phrases that people say because it sounds tough but it actually doesn't mean anything, you know. But I think it means that she's gonna be friends with you. I'm not really sure. I don't know. It's a real puzzler.

So then Patricia's house. I need just to be three hours long for no reason. Okay. She is an ennaked man. That's it. Yeah. Patricia's house and she needs to go somewhere. So now Whitney has, he is not just her son, he's her chauffeur.

And so he's literally front seat, Patricia's back seat. They're literally doing that. And there's, and I don't know if I forgot, was it a Rolls? I think they're in a Rolls. The Rolls are Bentley, whatever it is, there's like a little fridge that's embedded in the armrest and there's some champagne in there. And Whitney doesn't really know how to do it.

So they leave like the little refrigerator door open, like the armrests were refrigerator door open, which actually really bothered me. I was like, look, is this feature totally excessive? Yes. so they leave the little refrigerator door open, like the armrests for the refrigerator open, which actually really bothered me. I was like, look, is this feature totally excessive? Yes, but if you're gonna have it, don't let all the cold air out. Figure it out, Whitney.

Well, that was so funny, because she's like, oh, should I shut this, okay, that open? I think it's the first to be shut to keep it cold. And she's like, keep it cold and he's like Keep it open. She's like That's what she does now. She does this like passive aggressive Yeah, so he's like buckle your seat belts mother. It's gonna be it's gonna be a bumping high mother She's like where am I that one was all wet me? Yeah, yeah Thorne the call of course,oh, that was Betty Davis, went me.

What did I send you to boarding school for? What did they teach you over there? You say, no, it wasn't, mother. Lauren McCall, for sure. She goes, I will bet you $100. It was Betty Davis. And I will put you $1,000. It was Lauren McCall, which I love this.

Like, this very specific Whitney and Patricia bet that they have going on about like Betty Davis versus Lauren Becalve. And then Patricia goes, I know a bed of Davis quote when I hear one, and amazingly, the producers actually can pull up a random ass Betty Davis quote that she does from like a season two. I'm like, who would producer was like, oh, I seem to remember from eight years ago,

Patricia said, what a dump. It was Whitney or Patricia. I was like, Hey, remember when I said that when I saw Whitney's laugh to whatever, when he moved into that antelope, I need a clip of that. find that. Thank you. So, yeah, he's like, I feel very, I'm driving a stezy mother. Should good. That's how I want you to feel. All right, let's get to this farming market and whatever they call it. Yeah, and then we learned that Whitney lost his dad to leukemia, which was really sad.

And Patricia talked a little bit about their past and said that they were together for 15 years, but then they got divorced because he needed a corporate wife doing parties for clients. And I was selling paintings to museums and traveling and memorizing bedded Davis quotes. And we were always friendly and I adore him. He was a great father to Whitney. He was a fabulous man He was so attractive in every way And so they go shopping in the farmers market and

When he's like, oh, well, I think we should be focusing on here in the farmers market and ladies like winners Guash Oh my god shut up are you kidding? Alex is back. She came back. You don't hear her? I thought you unplugged her. Oh she's telling me I don't have internet. Lady I'm on the phone with Ben on Skype. I know I have the internet. Oh she stopped. I was gonna give you her monologue shut up. She's a real sassy press. Yeah, you like that. Sassy press. Sorry for my language. Okay. So anyway, the lady suggests winter squash and pets like, what's that? The mystic eye to leave me. What is that? She goes,

Whitney cooks, but he's vegan. Let that hang're gonna let that hang in the air for a moment. And it's hard to make vegetables exciting every night. I think we see them walking through the farm stand and she goes, Whitney, Lama beans. Lama beans. You know, there was a whole conversation about, you think they'll be Lama beans today? Mother, they're definitely new.

My Lama beans right now. I bet you $1,000 they got Lama beans today mother. Definitely know my line of beans right now. I bet you a thousand dollars they got a lot of beans today. With me it's lost like $18,000 so far on this trip with his mother. You know that's so true. And she's like, I miss Michael and I want bacon. So they go back in the car and she's like, I'm gonna open this bottle in. It's the hell not cold.

Well, you left the damn fridge door open. I mean, what the hell? The armrest, because I think they were concerned that by closing the fridge door, it was gonna break the glasses or something. I don't know, I think that's something like, like that needs to be figured out because, because that's wasteful

to have to open up that warm champagne. If it's gonna be, if you have a champagne bottle in a big-ass luxury car like that, it better be chilled. It's wasteful, I love you. It is. It's wasteful to drive a Rolls Royce. Yeah, but you don't have to add like extra waste.

These are not the kinds of people who are like, I hope we don't waste that glass. Lama beans. Oh, these waste that glass. Lama beans. Oh, these lama beans. Can we put these lama beans in the champagne fridge and the arm rest they don't go bad? I bet you $50 million, they don't have Lord McAll lama beans.

So then we go to Craig on the phone in his car and he is calling, that's a big car episode. Yeah, the southern term is always shot in their cars. I think because the town still thinks it's classy or something and refuses to let them shoot in a lot of places, so they just always shoot in the car. Yeah, and it's an old tradition on this show. Yeah, yeah, so Craig is just driving around

and he calls Austin and he's like, I'm just running some errands. What are you doing? Austin's like, like, I'm just running some errands, what are you doing? Austin's like, oh, honestly, I just finished eating a sandwich on pit street. That's what I got going on. It's like, wow, great scene so far. I have to say, so many fascinating updates.

It's for being honest. Yeah. And Craig's like, all right, let's meet at the bit street, bruh-man. So they go meet at this bridge, and it's really awkward. And there's a condom, you know? Yeah.

Craig's like sitting there with his legs crossed, looking out over the water, and Austin's just moving his mouth and his tongue around, but saying nothing. And Craig is like, well, I feel like there's like a disconnect. So like, we should like talk. Yeah. And so I was like, well, I don't understand why you're pushing me away from you. And Craig goes, well, sometimes it feels like you're trying to tear me down.

And I don't understand it, especially from someone who's supposed to be one of my best friends. So basically they just have the fight that Austin feels like he's such a champion of Craig, which is hilarious. And Craig's like, yeah, then if you're such a champion, then why are you going over to Naomi and telling her that I slept with Paige all of these times, like, what do you care and Craig? He's like, okay, well, but like, I don't care Craig, but I like if you told me, but I feel like I'm an outsider and then you feel super about it and that's why I was asking him.

That's not why you asked me. You don't ask because you felt like an outsider. You were trying to fuck up his relationship. Yeah. Well, he was testing Craig because his whole thing is that he feels like Craig is not being honest with him. So he was trying to see, was he lying to me again? Was he lying to me again? Which, you know, and then he found that he was lying to him again,

which is true. But then Craig's lying to him because Austin's a shitty friend. So that's how it goes. Yeah, pretty much. Just like, I'm gonna tell a lot of people being friends. Yeah, it's basically what's happening. And so he's like, but you've been a shitty friend to me too. He's like, you're only my friend when it's convenient And then you get a girlfriend and then you just ditch me, which you know, I kind of get but like this and that what you do in a way to And also would do that too in two seconds. Didn't awesome do that. So By the way, it didn't also have this exact same issue with chef

Like two seas ago when they had their big part of storyline with him. Yeah, wasn't that awesome, so all things that he was not gonna start telling Shepp things because he didn't feel like it was basically safe and their friendship, so he's not gonna bother doing it. So he should know exactly what's going on. So then Craig is like, well when I've been a bad friend to you

and Austin's like, well, when you were single and didn't wanna be alone, we hung out, yeah, basically like you would, you bailed once you got a girlfriend. So, and then Austin's like, well, when you were single and didn't want to be alone, we hung out, yeah, basically, you would, you bailed once you got a girlfriend. So, and then Austin's like, Craig and I. And then Austin does his, yeah. He's like, Craig and I were, do we have a delay or something? I don't mean to be talking over you like this.

Uh, we probably do. My internet's been fucked all morning, and there's, there's, I've reset my modem, all that stuff. So, you know, it's very frustrating. Well, Sar is, I just don't mean to be talking over. You go ahead and I'm just not doing a little purpose. Just want to note it. No, no, no, it noted, did not take offense to it.

Thank you. I don't want us to have to have a bench conversation with you. I know. Let's sit awkwardly on a bench like we're in a farm to him. But basically, yeah. So Austin says that like his longest relationship he's had has been with Craig. So he just wants it to be good. Yeah, and he tries to do fake tears. It's like Austin's victim moment, you know, as he tries to have every time he's fucking

up in a relationship as we've learned on this show, it turns into like, oh, so they decide to be friends again, but Craig's like, well, look, it doesn't have to stay toxic just like trying not to sabotage my relationships anymore. Okay, good talk. Yeah, and then they're like, let's hug it out. Stay go to hug. And then they're like, I don't know, we've ever hugged. Like, yeah, it's nothing to decide to fist bump instead, because you know a hug. That's crazy, men don't hug. So then we go to Catherine, who's driving. So Catherine's driving, but it's a twist

on the driving scene in that it's like pouring, pouring rain. It's like she might as well be in a car wash, for all we know. I was looking out to see if there was any like flaps just smacking her car because it was raining so hard. She's talking to Caleb's mom on the phone about her relationship. And Caleb hasn't come back in five days.

And the mom's like, well, Debbie is like, well, I know that he loves you, you know, and I know that he's trying. He just doesn't, you know, he's exasperated and doesn't really know what to do. And Catherine's like, yeah, but for him to leave, my abandonment issues, like, whoosh, trickered. It's a caba.

It's like when you're constantly like, you know, fighting with somebody and they leave, like, I don't know, abandonment issues, I feel like we're not doing anything and then you're abandoned, you know? Like, if you're like pushing people and then they get mad and walk out, you can't be like, hey, abandoned mini-shoes,

like, you were pushing me out, what the hell? Yeah, but that being said, five days seems very excessive for this fight, I think it's crazy. And I don't think it's actually very cool for Caleb to go away for five days, you know, so then Catherine is like, she's just concerned that they've been having issues for a while and she's like just talking to Debbie at at one point during this intense rainstorm Catherine just has no hands on the wheel and I don't think it was a Tesla. She just has like she's holding a phone in one hand

and the other hand she's just like just drinking with and I'm like, man, it is a rain storm. You put one hand on that wheel right now. Okay. Man, she's like turning the pages of a people magazine with her feet. Like our feet aren't hanging on the gas in the brakes. Like, Catherine makes no effort. I don't know how she has ever driven. She's always driven like that on this. Always, but like at least before it's been in like like clear weather, it's not good, but like when it's clear weather, but now it's actually raining. I'm like, you can't even see out your windows and you don't have a single hand on the car, and then you see the wheel just sort of like going left and right on its own a little bit, like it's kind of being moved by the wheels. I'm like, oh my god. She's like crocheting.

The car is moving. So she's like, well, I just don't know if we're going towards the same thing. Like I don't know if he's making the effort that I need him to. And Debbie's like, well, he does carry, just doesn't know what to do. How about making some dinner and, you know, like make him some dinner and then maybe have some fun time,

like show him how to not back trash Okay, that might be fun for you guys and she's like, okay, I'm gonna make dinner now I thought Debbie new Catherine really well wouldn't she know by now not to ask cat not to suggest that Catherine makes dinner Especially for her son. Yeah, that well Yeah, I mean based on the culinary offerings presented later in the episode, which appeared to be meatballs and a ketchup sauce. Hey, you know what would help your problems with my son? Give him some good old-fashioned salmonella for a while, and nurse him back to help.

My health, Debbie. Yeah, I did not think this was the best advice, Chef. Be like, how about just have dinner, light some candles and say, let's have a do-over. I'm like, I don't think that's actually addressing other issues, but fine. So then, Chef, we go over to Chef, and it's time for the barbecue, and his friend Tony has come over to do the cooking

because last time it was disaster, and Chef is really excited to make some tuna. And he's like, oh man, what I'm gonna leave the tuna refrigerated, really excited to make some tuna. And he's like, oh man, want me to leave the tuna for a graded? It was make some tuna. I'm so excited for the tuna. Garsh. So, um, so that's just setting the scene for later on. In issue with the tuna, the tuna does not make it to the plate. The tuna issue.

So the guys all start coming over and chefs all excited to gossip because of course Pringles are first and he's like, well, it seemed like there's a little story to tell from Caleb. So we're going to get to scoop on that. I was like, where do we bet your fucking tuna? You've probably weird 60 year old gossip. Yeah, we're like the tuna. Exactly. And well, the update on the tuna is that he's he's been announced as the Tony. He's like, well, the and well the update on the tuna is that he's he then announces to Tony He's like well the tuna's been in there for about five days. So let me just take it out like your tuna's been in there for five days Sir and you like no Taylor. It's pack up your your fallopian jubes and go somewhere else because this is not someone You want to be caring for your child

They doesn't even know how to care for rotuna Right and that's kind of my thing with her like what are you doing? You're with a man who you know that tune has been in there five days You know what I mean like you know that she smelled that tuna Like is this what you want to subject to so Pringle Pringles like I got hamburgers and hot dogs. They're made from bulls. Wow. Yeah, I was wondering what that was all about. That's like, okay. I don't know. That's what the guy told me when I traded, when I traded an empty beer can for the can for them. These were paid all in 5 cent recycling cans. Oh gosh! Did you make fun of anyone in the process? No, no, we don't do that anymore, chef. So Craig is coming over

and he's like, oh dude, I have to tell you something. I think everybody already knows this. We're like, I have to say, because Madison is engaged, and she's gonna announce a lot of Instagram, so I brought some rum. I'm like, he's gonna be so depressed. Like, how's it gonna take me? He's gonna be so depressed. Craig is so excited to watch Austin crumple on camera.

I know. This has also strange to me, because it's actually was not on Instagram, but it was on Amazon Live. I don't even know what Amazon live is. I don't know why, too. I don't know why Madison is on Amazon live doing an update. Like Amazon live is they have a lot of bravo stars, too.

Haven't you seen one of Kyle's? Oh my God. Guys, you know what I really love? Wait for it. Wait for it, guys. Jeans. Okay, I love jeans. And then they show, I guess it's like to sell shit on Amazon.

It's kind of like their own home shopping network. Oh, yo candy does that too, right? Doesn't candy burst to that okay? Yeah, a bunch of the Bravo like Tom Sandevol and shorts do wine and you know a bunch of Bravo people do these Amazon lives Now why she was announcing her engagement basically on the home shopping network? Yeah, I don't know I can't really answer except except to say, you know, she's thirsty as Madison, you know? Where else are you gonna announce it? Yeah, it's definitely, it just was very strange to me.

It's being like on, I am going to announce my engagement on Amazon Live. It's just such a weird thing to do. I would be going around the business. I'm doing it now. It's my engagement. We will be married same day. Because I'm in the prime of my life. Find your girls, find you a man with prime. I was born for prime. No, sorry, I got to stick with corn, guys. It's time for prime. It's time for prime. I always got time for prime.

I'm Madison the croit. So um, the chef's like, oh my gosh, deep down, he's gonna act in different, but then deeper down, he's gonna be her, but then deeper down, he's gonna be more indifferent and then below that, he's gonna be her, but on the surface, all we're gonna see is his mouth moving and his tongue trying to catch flies. What? Yeah, Craig says that he thinks that Austin has been in denial and still thinks that he's in mass and we're gonna get back together. So this is gonna break his heart.

So they're all super excited for this process. Yeah, so he is excited. He's like, oh my God, he's gonna like make tiny cuts on his thighs. Oh my God. What's he gonna do? Oh, oh, can we do a reaction video to his react him? I do get Amazon on your TV. Who has TikTok? Who has that on how to work it? Emuel outside Pringle is like he's grilling doing a great job, by the way giving him props. He made perfect burgers

But he's grilling and he's like muttering to himself and Tony is watching and he and print goes, well, it looks like he's gonna put the hot dog in the bun. And Tony looks and like, what the fuck are you saying? And he goes, that's Grumpield man, you know? Stracklemin? Yeah. Multimedia. And Tony just gives him the slip like, die. Please die.

I was supposed to cater this party, sir. He's like, I hate that movie. So then Austin is having a, oh, wait, so Caleb comes over first, right? So they're all inside talking to Caleb and, um, the chef is like, so, all right, you know, Taylor and I have this thing where, like, she's later, whatever, but like, I, you know, I don't want to have kids right now But you know, we aren't using protection and Caleb tells us Yeah, I don't really know why you're not using protection

Maybe because it feels good, but yeah, I'm not right. I love that Caleb is just so confused the whole time. Yeah, he's like, I don't know these old men. He's like, uh, I don't, the Pilate and Prey is definitely not reliable at all. He's like, I can't believe I'm the one after eight years who has to come onto this show and finally break news about the concepts of a safer sex. And Austin's like, yeah, but one it's like leading me year and a half, you still don't want to kidman, she's like, but you just wait for four years of my life. And she's like, I hate that line of reasoning. Like, why, wait, should I?

I didn't enhance your life at all. Come on, you didn't have fun. We didn't go on fun trips. You've been taking nice, Steve Smith for that back of five day old tune. I'll come on. What about all the marshes we went to, so little Craig could roll around to not I'm taking a nice deep sniff of that bag of five day old tune I'll come on! BYE! What about all the marshes we went into? So little cred could roll around

to not enhance your life. So, uh, Shep is like, you know, people date for five years and break up because they realize they don't want the same things. And Austin's like, but you don't want the same things. I don't know that. I said I didn't believe in monocomy and that's the thing she's gonna have to figure out.

And Caleb is just like looking like what the fuck is wrong with these people right now? How is you not being able to monogamy something she has to figure out? It's like, what are you guys talking about? What are you talking about? Taylor, Ryan, Taylor. I've been scared for Taylor this whole time,

but I'm veering into the okay, Taylor. Like, you've got this guy, Taylor, just fucking running out of the door. Just open the door. Just leave. This is not going to work out. Don't listen to my stuff. Now, whenever he cheats on you, he's going to say, but I told you I didn't like monogamy. And whenever he's mean to you, he's going to, what do I talk to? I didn't like monogamy. And whenever he's mean to you, he's gonna say,

but you know I didn't want a baby. And he's just saying the groundwork for future fights. To say, you made me do this and I never wanted it in the first place and you're the fucking monster here. Yeah, you're 100% correct. And Marcy is the side hustle. We're not the side hustle, but Marcy's coming in to be like,

have a baby, have a baby, have a baby. So she just has to tell her, has to just push all these voices out and just go to some other city, like just get away from here because this is gonna be a dead end for her. It's gonna be miserable. Yeah, you know.

So Austin calls this one, he's like, yeah, he's just selfish, you know, like, and then Chef is like, yeah, but like, you know how much running around I and then chef is like, yeah, but like, you know how much running around I did. And now I'm not really doing that. And it's because I can finally stand someone. And like Taylor is a big part of that. Oh, wow. So she deserves a fucking medal because she, and you're the one able to stand someone. Give me a fucking break. You're not running around as much because your penis doesn't work as well. Let's face it.

You're like almost 50, okay? Your penis isn't working as well. And you're not getting as much ass in bars, okay? That's the only reason you're even considering staying with one person. Yeah. And then Austin gets to try it out his new favorite phrase. Huh? Shep, you are nearing a shit or get off the pot era with Taylor. Shit or get off the pot. That's so good. Such a good phrase. That's Austin, a real champion to women. So they're eating, they go downstairs and eat, and chefs giving the dogs some dips.

Craig's like, what are you doing? God Jesus Christ. Yeah, I think they play like a very brief game of Cornhole, which ends when Little Craig takes a beanbag and pokes a hole in it CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE So he knows when he goes off. Okay, he gets a ding and he's like, oh my god Man, it's on my damners on and he sits directly next to Austin's that way Austin can watch it off of his phone Yes, and he goes your axe is doing something crazy online and Pringle goes who's actually doing something crazy online? I mean I mean I mean as it involve Three beers by the chance maybe give away something on that magnitude? Online for beer. Where's the line? I want to get online. Will she get me one? Can I cut these?

So Austin's like oh my god, what do we have to watch this? Why do we even have to watch it? Cranks like oh god the things she'll do for attention and my right So of course Madison of this weird Amazon live is like, well, everybody high Amazon, high life, high prime members. Now, I've been keeping this secret. I love my being the best way to do it is with actually not a mop, but a squeegee, I'm sick, but you can get for 1997 delivered in one day since you got prime, I know you do also on the engaged, which is really fun, that's super fun.

And Austin's like, what a poor bastard he is to a life of servitude with Medusa, C-Ship, I can sound literary also. No, not really, not really. So then Madison, this is what I love about Madison because she is so passive aggressive, but I love the way she does it. Someone asked her like a viewer question,

did any ex say congratulations to where she goes, well, the ex that means the most to me is obviously my son's father and he was so happy for us. And that is the only person as far as an ex goes that meant anything to me. So of all the exes, well, there was that time just the other day when I hang out with Venita and we did gossip girls, that was like an exo exo moment.

So she was happy to, I like that ex. But no, I can't think of a single other ex, not a single one. Hmm. Well, you know, not if you have exes, you have zeros, okay? So then all the zeros out there watching this around a stained metal table with their alcoholic old people friends Just now I don't care about you and I hope you die old and trivils, okay? And by the way your new conservative wig looks stupid It's awesome. It's like everything she does is a subtle little jab at me

And if I needed another reason not as if I needed another reason not to have her in my life I'm like I don't think it was a pretty subtle jab. I think it was pretty much a Fuck you Austin and anyone who's watching Amazon live right now knows exactly what I'm saying right now Also the reason you don't have her in your life is because she dumped you 10 times Okay, yeah, that too. So then all the guys start making bets on oh Is are they even gonna make it to the altar? Are they, basically teasing Austin? He's kinda holding it together pretty well.

But then Caleb asks what it was like being a stepdad because of Catherine has kids. And when she does get to see the kids, like when she gets, what do you call that when you're allowed to see him, like visitation or whatever. It's on the weekends and he has to work. And so she feels like he's not really there for the kids,

but he can't be because of work and all of this. And basically the more he talks and just like, and this is wrong for you. You need to, you and Taylor both need to get the car together and just drive, just keep driving. Yeah, when someone says, oh, I gotta work work so I can't see the kids, whatever. I'm like, that kind of feels like an excuse. I'm not passing a judgment on like, it doesn't sound like he is ready for this, you know.

And so, but that being said, he did start dating someone who has two kids. And so, yeah, that in that case, he really has to know that package deal there. So Craig is basically like, you Craig says, well, she's nervous that if she got more custody that you would leave. And I guess she's basing that on the fact that you've already left her for five days, you're actively left, you're actively in the process of not being with her at the moment. So I don't know maybe it's that. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, it would be better if she had more custody because she is a very good mom. And Craig's like, it would go leaps in bounds if you told her that. And he's like, well, you know, I haven't really been there for a few days.

I've been with my cousin and, you know, it's really messing me up. And she says, yeah, well, we've known her since she was 21. She really knows how to burn those bridges Also, she knows how to run across them and yell So so he tells them that he's gonna go have a dinner with So now Catherine's cooking at home. She's making some sort of pasta, which you know she's spanned about 25 minutes holding that pot under her curic machine, just pressing the button, letting it fill it up with hot water.

It's amazing how many things this machine can do. So the Caleb comes over and it's super awkward. And also she's making meatballs in a really weird sauce. I'm not sure, but I think the sauce she just opened a can of tomato paste and poured it. I mean, it was like, weirdly like thin. It wasn't runny, but it was thin. It did look like ketchup. And by the way, like ketchup can be used

to great effect with sauce. If you can do it right. But this is like, it was just like squirted ketchup or it was like, it was like thin, but also shiny. It was such a, it was such a, a, it was a scary congoccia. You know, it's like, like not everyone's a cook and you're making an effort for somebody.

I get that, but we have the internet. People, okay? Just look up, like, do something, but once we, it made more sense when she broke up with them because I was like, oh, it's a breakup meal. It's not like a, no, please beg to stay with me forever. Meal, it's like a, get the fuck out. Yeah. Right now.

Yeah, exactly. It was like, this is to tell you, what your last memory of to me, of me to be watered down tomato paste. You go and take a pink pudding with you. So Caleb comes back and he comes back, like he just got back from going to Topgolf. He's like, hey, I'm back. How you doing?

It's like, you were gone for five days, Caleb. You can't just like walk back in as if everything's chill. And she's of the same mindset. She's like, um, you were gone for almost a week. Where have you been? Although now that I say this out loud, it is funny that she's having this reaction when she's making dinner for him.

As in, like, she's not surprised that he's there. They clearly made a plan that he would show up. So it's also a little funny that she's just kind of like, wait a second, where have you been? Yeah, it's like, come over, let's fight. So it starts really awkward. And she's like, you go stood me and he's like, no, we were just in a fight. And she tells us she thought he was her forever person. And she asks, just straight up, like, do you want to be with me? And he said, look, I came here to make up. And she says, well, what did you plan to say to do that exactly? And he's like, did I love you? And she says, well, I have, you know, I'm going

through a lot of stuff. And I feel like you don't have empathy for what I'm going through. And he's like, but that's all it you, that's all your ever talk. It's always you going through stuff. Yeah. And she's like, well, because I'm the only one who's opening up. And he's like, well, you don't care about my feelings. She goes, all I do is try to understand you.

And he goes, well, listen to me sometimes. I love you. And I'm on to make it work with you. He's saying like, I love you. I want to make it work with you. And and Catherine is like, but you can't just have a relationship and reach a problem and abandon ship because you rather not deal with it. So he pulls the old well, I just needed some space. But now I'm here. So let's talk about it, which I don't

love. I actually really like Caleb a lot, but I don't love that that line of reasoning. Well, look, I'm not in a relationship and I think this is why because I'm like Caleb's right. When someone's mad and you don't know how to fix it, just ignore it. So I get that that's not the right thing to do and I'm not a relationship person. But their last fight was so stupid. It's like he's trying to make peace for her with people at a party and she's considers it to be trail that he's even being nice to people. She's trying to control who he talks to. I don't even know how you reason with that. And then when he did, she just kept getting

more and more upset. So, I mean, when you don't really know how to reason with something, what do you do? Well, I just don't think you go away for five days. I think that's crazy. I think maybe step out of the apartment. Like I guess if it's really bad, you don't spend the night there, but like a weird sort of limbo for five days, I actually feel like a sort of cruel. And so like I understand you need space, but I think five days is too much.

I'm like, I'm not down with that. Yeah, yeah, I'm saying. So then, um, Catherine, so now they like sit down at the table and Catherine serves these water-ready-ass meatballs. It's just strange, the strange sauce. And, um, Caleb have to eat this. Don't make me, you don't make me. And basically she just, she breaks up with him. You know, you think they're going to make up and she's going to say, like, you know, let's make this work or whatever. Because she keeps saying like, do you think this can work?

And he's like, but obviously I'm trying to. And so she basically says, look, you know, over the past few days, I've thought about what I need and I'm not getting it. And you're emotionally unavailable, you know, and I need somebody who's gonna like be in this with me. It's a lot of shit and a lot of drama I'm going through. And I get it if you can't be there, but that's what I need.

I need. Yeah, and he basically, I think what really comes out was that he's like, well, it was like a lot. I didn't realize what I was getting into with this relationship in like three months in. Like, you know, all of a sudden there was the kids and there's Thomas and all this. And, you know, what he's basically saying is,

this is too big for him. This is too much. It's not really what he wants. And they actually have, like, I was actually very proud of Catherine for recognizing that this was not the right thing for her. And they break up, I mean, maybe they'll get back, I know that right now they're broken up in real life. I don't know if on the season they come back together,

but it was actually kind of sad because they both were crying and it looked like a real moment to me. I believe nothing ever. So I was like, bye. You know, I'm just very cynical. So I was like, congrats.

You don't have to finish those meatballs. Cause notice that one of them ate that and Catherine didn't even put that in his hip block. She was just like, She threw all out. I noticed that she got all the food. They're like, we both agree this is a shitty me ball. And this is a metaphor.

It was kind of like a test. It was like the Groundhogs day test, but for relationships, like, if this meatball sees it's shadow, but it was like, if this meatball tastes good, then we'll say together, if it's shitty, it's a sign we got to break up. Or like, if you really love me, you're going to eat this and tell me how good it is. You know, and when neither one of them could do it, it's over. It's a fish. So that was it.

That was Southern Sean, everybody. Yeah, thanks everyone for being here and listening. We'll be back later today or the weekend with our recap of Real Housewives Ultimate Girl Shrip, the latest crazy episode. And then on Monday, we're back with Atlanta and take a seat at night and all in a whole other week of recaps. So we will catch you on the next one.

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