Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Settling and Meddling

Episode Date: July 1, 2022

Naomi throws a welcome back party for herself on this week's Southern Charm and Olivia gets into her first cast fight. Also, Kathryn uses her new Keurig machine. Again. This week's bonus is a talk about food, recipes, and Instagram chefs. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your bros I'm Ronnie guess who I'm with. It's a name is man hobby and hey Ronnie. How are you? I get it's almost break day you yeah Weekend long long weekend. Yeah, it's a very long weekend. Super excited. I'm gonna really do nothing on this one. Let's face it. I'm supposed to go do some outdoor things, but.

I don't know. I don't know. That's gonna work out. Remain room. What are you gonna do? I have three categories of activity that I would like to engage in. But of course, is Elden Ring. Two is cooking.

Three is board games. Oh, and the fourth. Love Island. That's the, I'm going to do a variation of those things every day with an emphasis, a strong emphasis on board games because board games, the thing is that you have to have other people. So since other people are off, that you have to have other people. So since other people are off,

I am going to pounce on people and play games with them. And then in my downtime, I will definitely be playing some Elden Ring. And after our bonus episode this week, I've been really inspired to up my cooking game in terms of the frequency of it. So I'm gonna go to the grocery store right after this and I'm gonna walk around like Ina Garten,

which is a segue unintentionally to mention that I am guessing on a podcast that came out today called The Good Vanilla and it's a bear for contest that podcast. Nick Cachana is the host and I was on it. We're talking for an hour, we talked about Ina, our favorite episodes, our favorite recipes, we recapped an episode where INA goes on a tugboat,

it's just like a full on deep dive, Barefoot Contessa thing. And Ronnie, I know you love INA Garden too, so if you ever wanna talk Barefoot Contessa, I'll hook you up with Nick, but it was so fun. So I really, I got the Barefoot Contessa podcast connect hook you up with Nick. But it was so fun. So I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really,

I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really,

I really, really, I really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, I really, really, really, really, really, I really, really, really, really, I really, really, really, I really, really, really, really, really, really the ninth. So it's next week Saturday. Come down see me. Okay. That'll be fun. Yeah, it's gonna be super fun. I don't know. I'll probably just be up there real quick. I mean, I have no idea. I don't think it's like a full recap or anything, but we will be talking crap. Seth and Charm next week. At Emo. So come on, Dan and see me, honey. That's great. And I'm just so excited to get out of the house, you know, well, terrified, but also like I'm assuming that it'll it'll be good once I'm there

It'll be crazy as long as one of my exes isn't there Southern charm Yeah, I heard Ronnie that you slept with Naomi once or twice and Vegas is that true. I was like you like this is not like, ew, like this is not vermin. The guys on this show, there is nothing is confident as a red-nosed white man on southern charm. There is nothing in the world with that kind of confidence. These guys have gotten so smarmy and slimy and disgusting over the year. I mean, listen, they started sm army slimy disgusting. So just the evolution or the de-evolution, what do you call it? The devolving, the age, just the decrepate encroaching. I mean, I don't even know what you would call it, but you all suck, okay?

And you are very confident. Please bottle that up. I mean, you're all they're trying to sell baseball caps with the American flag on it. You're over there. You're trying to sell pillows over there. You're trying to sell pillows over there. You're pretending to sell beer in the middle. Why don't all of you just learn how to bottle whatever fucking misplaced confidence it is that you carry? Because I will buy it by the case. Yeah, this was also a very, very intense Austin tongue lagging episode.

Like the editors, they cut to Austin's thinking it's tongue out so many times and not just like the typical, the standard tongue flap. It was like fully out and going up and down. Oh, it was, I was disturbed. Yeah, his mouth just hung open the whole time with his tongue resting on the top of his teeth and his tongue like, oh, like he was saying,

I, I, but it was, he was saying I, but then his mouth would make the A sound and stay there and be like, I, I was like, are you with the doctor? Do you have white spots on your throat? That we're supposed to be checking out? What's happening? Yeah, I felt like he was very much like the Musinx mascot. Like I thought he was like one of those things that's like you spray Musinx on it

and it's like the cartoon thing, just with its tongue flapping everywhere, it just goes runs away. Like that's what Austin was giving me with his tongue. I don't watch that commercial, I close my eyes. Musinx is scary. The commercials cross. There are things that I close my eyes for on TV.

Southern Charmaine, Austin Talking, Mews and X. There's one fast food commercial I can't watch, because they're like, oh yeah chicken. And it's like chicken flesh bouncing on each other or something. It's like, ooh look at this chicken having such summer fun bouncing on each other. I'm like delicious guys. I used to hate, there was like some commercial for like, Tofongus and they would have like a cartoonie, like a muesa next come.

You know, like those commercials, they always make these weird cartoonie, like germs. And it would, it was like, I'm, I'm fungus, I'm getting under your toenail. I'm the hood of a car and then hop under and then close it And it was just every single time I was like, oh, why are they doing that? Why are they it's just like the most I just the idea like the toenail flipping up. I was like who approved this Cooper said this was a good idea All right, let's get into Southern Chomshow away. I know people are dying to hear more of our thoughts on toe fungus commercials

But guys, well, that's pretty much the same thing right? into Southern Choms, shallower way. I know people are dying to hear more of our thoughts on ToFunkist commercials, but guys, Well, that's pretty much the same thing, right? Yeah. Taylor's dating chef, same basic, same basic thing. Okay, so previously, chef is 70 years old now. No one really knows how it happened, but damn, he really just gets handy to do it up in a very short amount of time.

He really, he really did, and I was just just by the way I'm so impressed with Naomi. I think I'm not sure, but I feel like this is the first time she ever got to do the previously voiceover. She's like, previously on this stupid show with these stupid people, Shepp was old and fat in the shower and Taylor was enabling him. Craig was walking around, telling lies, often had his tongue out, and the new girl just has drunk parents. Fine, that's it. Yeah. So, hmm, hmm, that's how the previous les end.

You know, I enjoy a show making an effort in the previous les. You know, it's like a whole musical segment. So then we get random shots of people just exercising, Olivia's exercising outside. In case anyone's wondering, Olivia does body weight exercises by her parents pool. Now, I don't know if it's just as healthy if you're not by your parents pool, but it seems to be working for her. Yeah, good for her. Yeah. Then I was like, wow, body weight exercises. That's what you. Well, it's either like she either does the body weight exercises or she goes down inside and her listens to her mom talk about the latest chapter she read in Jonathan Living since the Ego or something.

So then page, meanwhile, page and Greg, Greg are waking up in bed and she's like, I need water. I need to like and subscribe to some water. I'm scratching it. And so she like chugs water because they're hungover. And yeah, we do check that water. Wow. So we got a Caleb and Catherine and Catherine's obsession.

You know, for a long time, it was Amazon boxes that she's getting like every scene Catherine was in, she would be unpacking an Amazon box and trying to put something together. Her new obsession is having a coffee machine in her house. I don't know if this is just something she's never heard of before. If she's not trying. I don't want to leave.

But now every Catherine scene is like, I made you some coffee. You want it? It's the new I was just in the neighborhood. It's like, do'm gonna eat some coffee, you want it? It's the new, I was just in the neighborhood. It's like, you want some coffee? It's called a cake cup and I think it stands for Katherine. It's a Katherine cup. It's a new decade. Now I'm doing curicups.

Wow, huge, huge journey, huge journey shift. Yeah, seriously. So Caleb is like, yeah, I'll have some extra sweet just like you, which is funny because she was so evil from the last episode. Right. And even with that, she just crosses her arms and gives him a look. Dinner has been on the table for 37 minutes. You know, giving him that look.

Yeah. And then we see Austin and Pringle at the gym doing abs I think Pringle is just like hey, so I heard there's a tap in this gym Can I just to get up here? Oh, I just got to do some crunches first. Okay Yeah, they hold the weights Demass oh He's like trying to lay he's like, he's like, licking the bar. He's like, Oh, I thought the barbell was what you rang to get

into the refill. He's in there just doing ballet moves. Like, how long do I have to do this? A quote unquote bar method before I get the actual beer. Why would they why would they ban why would they ban bar from Twitter? That's for Sanbar. Okay, you don't you don't need to stand up for it. Man, I just feel bad when I hear about people who actually failed the bar. Like, how do you actually fail at sitting at a bar and ordering a beer? Mm hmm. Oh, the cap run out. Bless his heart. So Taylor and Chef were at their place and Taylor's like, oh nice, these are ripe. Hello Chef, will you take those garbage out?

I don't know why I thought that was funny for an opening line. Wow, these are ripe. Hey, will you take those garbage out? What are you doing Chef? And he's like, cleaning cars! I'm cleaning off! Ugh! Ugh!

Craig, you're in big trouble. You have chewed your last toy, little boy. Craig! Um, and then Taylor's like, so, can you please tell me what you and Craig and Austin were talking about? And he's like, well, Garsh, when we sat outside at the party, I thought Craig could put his hat in his hand and say, I've been less than desirable as a friend, as far as friendship

is concerned, but instead he was deflecting and, you know, he admitted he slept with Naomi and he told Paige, so I don't know. Is that supposed someone implied it wasn't just Vegas? It's been a low-key, ongoing thing. But I don't know. I don't know Is that put someone implied it wasn't just Vegas. It's been a low-key ongoing thing, but I don't know I don't know I'm sure like what you said that Catherine So then we go to Craig and Paige and Paige is like, um, do you know what I did last night? Did I regret that I did? Besides show up with someone from this goddamn show, which I'm never gonna live down.

Um, I mixed a whole bunch of kinds of alcohol together. Like, you can't do that. He's like, really? Like, you think that that actually changes things? I mean... No. She's like, yeah, it's like serial killers do that. And he goes, I always do that.

He's just like, mm, okay, I'm gonna disregard that. So I can have more screen time. Listen, I talked to Naomi a lot and it's obviously not the most comfortable thing, but like over the summer, you guys slept together, but I'm like, not in high school and like, I'm not gonna not acknowledge her. Like, everyone has necks. Everyone has dated people before.

Everyone's bought an entire look at the price. Like, things happen. Also, she's famous and I've been obsessed with her for years. So, there's that, there's that too. He's like, yeah, well, there's nothing unsettling there, like, she's like, yeah. You know, I've actually found it more of a red flag

if you two didn't get along. He's like, yeah, because you would like think that, like, something like, because you would finish the sentence, because I'm pretending like I'm what you're saying, but I really don't get it at all. So I hear you trailing off at the 10th time of this conversation. So I'll just finish my sentence. I'll just do the conversation myself. So yeah, it's like, it's like, why would they care?

Right? Totally. I have no idea where to argument, but totally. Right? Yeah, he's kind of looking off as she talks. He's kind of looking around the room and she's biting her thumbnails nervously. You guys look really confident.

This website is going great, guys. She's like on her cell phone saying if she's been invited to a local bra, I'm yet. Yeah. And so then we go, we sort of settle on Caleb driving through town and he's like calling his, he's speaking to his mom on the phone and his mom is such a mom.

She's like, hi, Caleb. And he's like, hi, mom. Hi, boo boo. He's like, hi, hi, mom. Hi, hi. She's like, I'm going to spend the night at your aunt Rita's house because I got things to do in the morning. And not just that.

Chelsea just arrived. He's just arrived in town. So, you know, she's basically just that mom who just arrived, he's just arrived in town. So, you know, she's basically... She's that mom who just gets on the phone and doesn't shut up. She's like, oh, I'm gonna spend the night. Your aunt, Chelsea's back in town. Oh, that girl from the street didn't take her mail in again. That was embarrassing.

Someone left her hose on. I mean, that's mom, man. He's like, mom, mom, mom. So he's not feeling well. He's like, you gotta let me talk mom. She goes All right talk and he's like I forgot what I was gonna say now So we finally learn a little bit more about Caleb He said he talks about how he's a mama's boy and that his mom's really strong and that like she used to work 12 out for

$12 a $12 an hour and raise two kids and that like her her drive drove him and he wound up getting a football scholarship and he played football in Canada and then he retired at 28 after an injury so we get like sort of a little kind of like a Caleb and a nutshell for this scene. Yeah and so he's saying he's having problems with Catherine and then we see a clip of how it ended this morning and he's like, so what happened last night you flipped a bit and she's like, what triggered me is when you said, we need it. She does that baby voice thing before she like really rips into you, you know, I like that. What triggered me is when you said we need a monster talk to you because it made

you feel like suddenly you're on her team and not my team out. And he's like, uh, yeah, well, you don't like a lot of people and that's not really how I roll. Okay. Like, I don't have problems with my friends, but you have problems with like most of your friends and the friends of friends. You have problems with people who do grocery check out for your friends. Like, you have problems with actually a good amount of America

And Catherine's like I have problems with them or they have problems with me or we both have problems or sometimes I have a problem and then they have a problem and then together we get together and we both have problems But sometimes it's the one what there are a lot of options here Caleb Which one do you want me to go with? I know he she's trying to make some argument. Like, it's gonna make a difference. Also, she's gone from baby voice to now throwing hands all over, which I love when she does that. She's just like, oh yeah. And then she puts all of her fingers together,

like she's, I don't know, picking up something really small off the table. And then she does the magic thing where she like pops her fingers out. I love when she does that. It's like, oh yeah. Pop. So what do you mean? I have a problem. They have a problem. Problems have problems. That's problems. And he's like, I guess

both. She goes, oh, so both. But now problems with problems of people have problems. Our problems with you and I having problems. Do you want some coffee? And yeah. Oh, great. now the coffee machine's not working. Guess I got a problem with the coffee machine too. So Caleb's like, listen, the thing is that you bring that stress to me and I have to deal with that stress. And she's like, what stress? I don't ever bitch about people, Catherine.

Catherine doesn't bitch about people. He's like, you bitch about everyone. You know, if we go to my friends and say, has Caleb ever created problems? No, but go to your friends and ask if you cause problems. And yes, and you are the problem. You are the problem. And she goes, okay, you can't.

What the fuck? She does like 10 different hand movements. She's like, what the fuck? Away from me right now. He's like, he okay. And then she's like,, and then flicks your hand I love her hand movement. You know, everyone has a business on this show except Catherine I think Catherine really needs to start like a

Hand-flit class. Yeah, she could or maybe shadow puppetry big and very like very intense shadow puppetry. Yeah, so the puppetry recaps Yeah, so then Caleb is we're back to Caleb and the car and he's like, and that's where we are right now. We just got into a big fight and then she also made me drink like three espresso and then I left and Debbie's like, well, when you all moved in together and he's like, yeah, all hell broke loose, you know, when moved in together because she's Mrs. Petty. So then Caleb tells us, you know, me and Catherine, we did have easy times

when we weren't living together and she wasn't forcing a coffee agenda on me every single morning. He's like, I really like how she commands a room. All the guys say that on this show back. She really commands a room, is it because of her height? Because this show is really obsessed with height. That's all they talk about on the show's people's minds.

It's like everyone just like auditioning Oscar hosts, like what's going on? Like why is this like, I love the way she commands her room. He really commands her room. I think we should call it, baby, see. Have you ever seen that girl work a pie chart in a meeting? Oh, she knows how to command her room. Not one person swiped on their phone.

Wow, I really, you know what? I get turned on by deodorant commercials. The way people put on that shore and then they just reach for the tallest part of a blackboard. Wow, they really know how to command a room. So he's like, yeah, and she kind of tries to take my time away from you and the family. You know, she says that she she comes first. And that if I have nothing to do, then I can go see you guys, which is kind of like, if that was a guy in this relationship, I'd be like, yeah, that's some,

I'll be sure to be a savior. I'm like separating the person from all their friends and family, you know? And she's like, but she's just fighting for your God dang love. Yeah, yeah, basically, yeah, the mom is like, look, like, you know, her mom's gone and, you know, that's when she started coming close to me. And, you know, she's seen how much that you and I are together. And I think she just wants some of that love, et cetera.

And, you know, Debbie actually was like pretty involved. It sounds like with Catherine and their life, she helped out with the kids a lot. And Debbie is oddly sympathetic. She's like, you know, she just needs someone in her life because apparently Debbie also knew Catherine way before Caleb did because Catherine used to hang out with Caleb's cousin Chelsea and Chelsea's ex Jackie. I was like, oh my God, more people for this show. It's like they're constantly adding people.

There's Chelsea and then Jackie and then this Jack is manicurist who was dating the person that yogurt land but they moved but they left their plant and they'll let their plant with Rosemary who actually has rosemary plant too. So that's funny. She lives down by the battery, but not in the battery like John Pringle. And actually isn't cousin Chelsea doing the typical southern charm storyline where they're like, Chelsea's back in town. Chelsea's back in town this week. Yeah, I feel like have we met Chelsea before?

I don't know, but they're really trying to push Chelsea on us because we've heard Chelsea a town this week. Yeah, I feel like have we met Chelsea before? I don't know. But they're really trying to push Chelsea on us because we've heard Chelsea a lot this episode. Yeah, he's coming back. He's in my frame right now. And unfortunately, he didn't Chelsea. It's not the Chelsea. They can only have a certain number of names on this show.

So we're in the Chelsea's. So then we go to Vanita's house and she's in her closet going through all of her, you know, zillion outfits and they're talking, they're asking you how many dresses she has and she's like, mini mechs is a drip mini mini dresses or maxi dresses. She does this crazy laugh thing or she like throws her head in the air and then she just like sticks her head around It's like an Instagram laugh, which makes sense because she's the she's just she's an influencer, you know Oh, okay, is that an issue? That's my theory. I just made up

It's like really showy because it's got to be caught on camera or like and you know You've got to like convey your emotion in like five seconds to like one second. So my theory is that's why if Anita has a big laugh like that. My headphones flew off while you were saying that, but I'm going to take your word for it. Whatever I said, yes. So she's, she estimates she owns 175 dresses and she goes, my mother is the reason I am who I am today. She always dressed up. My mom would wear lipstick and heels with her pajamas when she picked me up after a late night evening of bowling. Okay, she didn't say that right because I was going through my notes and I was like picking pick up the bowling alley. I'm projecting because that's my childhood.

My mom's showing up in lipstick and you know a ball gown like getting a car. So then so Venita's assistant, Sarah comes over, which is funny that she has an assistant, but she has an assistant. And Venita starts talking about how she became an influencer, like she fell into it because she just, she went to culinary school originally, but then she started taking photos of herself.

And she was modeling on the side, and she put her modeling picks up and then brands thought she was like Sarah's. Yeah, Sarah's hilarious like she's so assistant-y. She walks in like, okay we ready? What are you doing? What are you wearing? Okay, okay, here's what we need. We need copy. We need three. We need three storyboard frames. Okay, three story frames. Copy. Okay, we got ring lights ring lights. We got ring lights

Okay, bouncy hair. I want bouncy air. Hey, we got somebody to have the shine on her lip. I'm so cool What is this? It's like a like on a big movie set this lady just comes in like bring the elephant and we need the elephant and what is this Daytime or nighttime? Can we get the right backdrop here? Thank you We need the elephant and what is this daytime or nighttime? Can we get the right backdrop here? Thank you. She's like, I've studied Emily Blunt in Devil Wars Prada for 26 hours straight. So I know how to act like an assistant.

Okay, yeah, we have Calvin Klein online three. Mm-hmm. No, I'm just not really. I'm just practicing in case he does call. Continue. She's saying random things back there. Lipstick on, let's stick off elevator up, elevator down. Okay, counter-claim, counter-claim. Okay, counter, claim, counter, claim.

We might need to sit on that counter later. Might be the grass, who knows? You know what, the might of an artist, no one can know. No one can know. Well, my favorite was actually at the during the photo shoot that they wound up doing. Like she is trying to co-ops, you know, like gay glam squad speak, but it's not really in her. You know, like, you know, if it was Mikey, Mikey from Beverly Hittles, he'd be like,

yeah, it's queen, she's the embodiment of it. But Sarah goes, she's beauty and she's grace. Come on Sarah, you gotta like add some gayness to that. You gotta be like, yeah, she's beauty and she's grace, she's given beauty and grace. She's beauty and she's dressed, she's given beauty and grass. She's beauty and grass. I know Sarah's just coming in reading word art like from the Marshall's home section, you know. She's beauty and she's grass.

I thought on the canvas. Make it happen. So, Venita tells us that she can make seven figures in a month from, uh, influencing, which is fucking crazy. Where's your decimal point though? Hmm. Oh, that's just nuts. And she's like, I don't think under people understand

the hard work that goes into the back end of being an influencer. You get a job, you lose jobs, you know, sometimes you make content and they want it to be changed. I mean, it's crazy. It's great. I'm like, wow, it sounds like ER. So, wow, it sounds like a standard job

where you have deadlines and people respond with changes they want for you. We're good deliverables. I'm gonna just start taking pictures and all my old Navy clothes and see if anything pants out. It's every day. I'm gonna be like,

it's me eating jello in my old Navy fit top and triple X out. I'm actually, you know, it's so funny. I'm always like, why don't brands ever want to contact us? Like that, you know, like, why don't they ever want to? Like, you know, I have like this weird, I don't actually want to be an influencer, but I have influencer FOMO, like it's more like,

I just want to be asked and Finally a brand reach out to me and was like, hey, we'll give you some stuff. I was like great Like just sign up here. I was like excellent and I still haven't done it like a month later Like who's gonna ask me to be an influencer the flower industry? I mean, what the hell It's time for commercial It's time for commercial. It's time for a crazy. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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She's just basically the newest youngest fan of her pump coming in to start shit in everybody's lives that she's not really connected to you and doesn't give a fuck about. Pretty much. She's just actually pretty funny. Yeah. So Austin calls Leva and he's like calling,

if he's like ostensibly a call about Trop Hop, but then he's like, Oh, for Trop Hop. For Trop Hop. I'm like, okay, let me see that list. Anything, anything, anything, anything you can get me. Please come.

Do I even still own this brand? Nobody knows. So love is like, oh, well, that's not what I thought you'd be calling at, but I thought we're gonna gossip about shit. He's like, okay. So she starts asking about the part, Catherine's party. And she's like, yeah, I thought it was so cool

that you brought Olivia. I mean, everyone in the room could tell you guys like each other. It was really cute to wait. You guys both had your tongues wagging and she was like, wow, you're so tall and you were like, wow, you're so tall, but not as tall as me. Like the chemistry was off the charts. And he's like, well, you know, Olivia beautiful, but you know, she's adorable, but like, she's just like so bulky for me. You know, she's so bulky. Love is like, yeah, well, she's a girls girl, but she's also a guys girl, you know,

because she like has a Southern mom and like she still wants that Southern fairy tale. Like what does she care about this girl? Well, then we find out. Leva's known, Olivia's parents for a while, and they've even invested in Leva's restaurant group. Well, that's, they've just basically bought their daughter a job on a TV show.

And it makes me wonder if this girl is on Levas' new show and this is some kind of thing to launch that, you know? Maybe. I don't trust this. In the living. In the living. Yeah, I don't trust her either. And I think it's funny that Levas like,

yeah, she's a girly girl, but she's also a guys girl. I'm like, that's what everyone said about Jeltsy and Madison. And they're acting like, wow, you really found a rare one here. Like that's the only type that seems like Austin even goes for. Austin's not going for her. This is all fake for whatever casting

is gonna be happening on this show. Guirante. Yeah, that there's that too. So then we see a clip of Leva kissing the parents ass like guys How long if you dated you're just the cutest couple and the mom's like well I'm pretty sorry. I pretended I was pregnant moved to DC and got a little cabbage patch kid I carried a random stroller until he said okay, I'm I'm gonna marry you on our wedding day. I said just kidding I'm gonna marry you. On our wedding day, I said, just kidding.

Hehehehe. So then, love is like, you know, I think that with like this Olivia girl, this is not just a Netflix and chill situation. She's like, yeah, I'm just insane. I mean, you're basically saying, shit, or get off the pot because that's gonna be my new saying. Then I'm gonna say all the time now,

shit, or get off the pot, it's hilarious. Well, she's a smoke show, like she can hang out with a hundred dudes all the time. So like, by now, it's hilarious. Well, she's a smoke show, like she can hang out with a hundred dudes all the time, so like by now, you know, because like quality is limited, you know, so put in your cart now, okay. Speaking of romance, that's insane right now. What about Naomi and Craig and Vegas? I mean, I know nothing.

I literally had the covers pulled over my eyes. It's insane. The duplicity that Craig was showing me, not even. I mean, it was like huge gas lighting, meat lying, meat's fake, friendship, the duplicity. It's like, God, the wall being pulled over your eye for crying out loud. It was on the hook, I mean, I didn't tell you about

The cover is literally pulled over my eyes She's like, well, yeah, like obviously I saw them in Vegas like obviously separately But I was like guys obviously we're getting lunch right obviously so she shows up and like she's like obviously We staggered down but like Craig's obviously my room right now obviously So they're gossiping like children, you know, and he's like, well, I'm calling bullshit on one of them. Yeah, I'm calling bullshit on one of them. Because it was a lot of these with more than one of them done. All right.

So like, are you upset because your lips seem to be moving faster than your words? So much stuff. It's just morning. I haven't really syn sink them up yet. He's like, she's like, I feel like you're speaking Swiss, but the words coming out are English. It's very strange. So now it's like rainy Well, because by the way, they're the whole thing the whole one that seems that awesome love I think that Craig and Naomi got together more than just big as that there's more going on than me

The eye so now it's rainy and rover at Naomi's house and Naomi's on the phone with Patricia. And she's like, how you doing in this rain storm? It's pretty exciting for me. I'm really not doing much these days just sitting here waiting for rain and counting the rain drops. If you know what I'm saying, I don't think you do know what I'm saying because I don't even know what I'm saying. Hey, have you ever heard of a curic machine?

I hear that the rage. And then he was like, well, I hope it stops because my friends are gonna come pick up my tools car that's been sitting there for like four months, saying, I would donate and get a tax deduction. She's like, so that I did with Whitney's first father, he was actually still in the car I donated. No one's heard from him since. Just don't tell Georgia my spotter that I dropped an f bomb when I got the letter from the IRS. So Naomi's like, oh my god,

I can't believe I was gonna leave this like glamorous, rainy, weather-ish hellhole for a boy, like a hot doctor. God, what was I thinking? Well, we talk to me next time before you do something crazy like that. Hmm, and now I'm just like, yeah, I'm going to use you as like a life bodyguard. Yeah, well, form a vet in committee. That's my favorite thing. People submit names and faces, and then I look over them for two hours and pass judgment. Let's my favorite thing. People submit names and faces and then I'll look over them for two hours and pass judgment. Let's do it. I'm on board.

Didn't Patricia completely approve of the mature though? I mean, you're going to be ruining your own startup business. Okay. So then Naomi's like, well, there is no calling is because I think I'm having a whole Hold on, and trying to like not be disgusted with myself. Hold on, let it pass. I'm having a fresh start party with these people that I'm really excited to be back around. Yes, gonna be a... Oh, and let me tell you by the way,

did I tell you about Catherine's birthday party? Like, she extended an olive branch, and like a clean slate. Got that back, she goes, that sounds good. What could go wrong? Pause for laughter, that was sarcasm, right? And she's like, let me tell you, literally everything.

I say literally because I've lived in New York. So I'm Patricia's like, well, there's no language my mother my mother used to say close your legs to married man. That was I think, um, Neenie from Real House House of Atlanta. All right, no Lattage. I'm not a crook.

That was Richard Nixon actually. A bird in a hand is better than two birds in your bush, Patricia. I don't know who said that one, but that's actually really gross. Money can't buy a class, Viva Ladeva. Am I right? The lies, the lies, the lies. It's like, Patricia, are you just looking at housewives gifts now?

Um, so you're known by the company you keep. That's the one. So, no. And then she tells us, I'm trying in the past to establish a relationship with Catherine. And I'm afraid I'm trying to think of the best way to say this. She's led an elegant life. And now I'm going to go back to my son, who's pushing 60 with a band called boner backwards. Excuse me. Excuse me. Inel, ineligants to attend to.

Listen, I'm a girl that wants to have fun. I'm not interested in toxic people or ineligant lives and whatever. So anyway, Jeopardy's on. I'll have to talk to you later. So I wish her the best, but there's no connection now. So then we get a sign. Falcon for golf carts horses only. And it's Olivia and Austin going on a date for four. They're gonna double double date who could it be with Yeah, well obviously it's good chef. So they so Austin and they walk in and Austin's like hey

Good to see you. Oh, did you drink with your roomies tonight? I talked to Leva. I love it said you refer to your parents as your roommates It's insane and I was like no no no no no no no she is her parents roommate. That's for sure. Oh Oh god think about putting out a comedy album and I'm just thinking Wow these two seem to like not even like each other when there's no chemistry But then he's like yeah Olivia terrify me because there aren't like any red flags you are the red flag So you can't see it, okay? You're on the pole. It's hard to have a vantage point from there. The red flag is called daddy issues,

and you can't see it because you are part of them. So he's like, but first off, she's tall, she's tall, because I can't hang out with short people anymore. And she's like, my first thought about him, I swear. I was like, his high. Ooh! Like wow, this is, this is made in heaven. You both like tall things.

That's crazy, guys. Man, I mean, all these people, you know, trying to match up on okay, keep it, and all they have to do is just take out a measuring tape and compare notes, you know? So she's like, he's like, and she also gets my sense of humor, which is pretty much nonexistent. And Olivia's like, he's hilarious.

And we have the same sense of humor, which is nonexistence. My favorite joke, it goes like this. What do you call someone who does body weight stuff by their parents pool? Olivia So that's my joke so hilarious when the waiter comes over He says things like I hated my meal, but like he finished every last bite. I think that they fall for every single time It's funny joke about how like my parents are my roommates. I'm their roommate

I mean he's you have to be there. He's so funny, so funny. And of course, Austin's like, she's definitely wife and wife, but I'm just my, I'm not ready to go down that path before, you know, of course you're not, of course. And she's like, well, I'm not trying to lock it down, but if someone's not serious about, you know,

getting into a serious relationship, having babies and getting married, then onto the next. Or, waste two years with Austin. So then Austin's like, so here we are on date number two with me. And she's like, is this a date? Yeah, God, that humor, blazing, so good. When she said, is that a date? God, I love tall people humor God

So Taylor and Shep come and Taylor orders a blush and cowgirl Spirit sorry, blus and cowgirl spree it's by way. I just want to say I've got leaf lowers right behind this microphone Do you hear him? It's an honor of you? It's like as hilarious as Austin. Over there. Yeah. Yeah. Buh! Austin says it a few more.

Buh! Buh! Uh, so, Taylor and Shepherd there, and, uh, let's see here, uh, the order food. They're like, they're ordering,

it's like, oh, it's like, what should we order? And he's like, gosh, wings are bad on a date. Now, spaghetti is, gosh, let's not get food that's bad on a date. So then they got a heaping pile of nachos that it's like dripping with cheese and sauce. Yeah, so I'm kind of ball thing,

like some kind of fish ball or something, like, hmm. So then Austin's like, so mainly texted it, and she was like, wow, I'd love for you to bring your trap up to the party So that's it Austin stop just stop. No one is calling you begging for drop-hop. Oh, no it is No, she was returning your call and saying fine if you want to have Your fucking bear bear there for free. That's fine, but you're not taking up fridge space because Niko is there cooking Yeah, exactly as because normally I would say well, maybe she just wanted some free beer,

but her family's in like the hospitality industry. They get, they have their hookups. They've got their connects also. So then, Shepp starts this episode long journey to make cousin Marcy happen. He's like, gosh, I want to bring cousin Marcy. She's great. She talks about all sorts of things,

like how you should have babies and be married like her because she's unhappy in her marriage and unhappy with being pregnant. So she wants you guys to do it too. So that way she's not alone and then maybe she'll feel happy. God, she's a blast. You mean Marcy? And you never forget Marcy. She makes Miss Patricia look poor.

And you know, Patricia's at home just like drawing on a map of planning on fire bombing Marcy's home. Patricia's just like, oh I'm sorry, I'm just throwing diamonds in the trash because they're so disposable to me. Did someone say they were making me look like I was poor. I'm sorry, I'm just building plans to make a house over Mosse's house. So, chefs like, no, come on, don't say she has more money than that. He's like, but she does though. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I mean, I know, I know,

because her family is my family. So she's doing very nice. Uh-huh, oh okay. So you're just as rich as Marcy, huh? Okay, Chef. I'm starting to not really believe Chef's mailbox money story. I mean, obviously he's not doing anything, so he's got something, but how much does he have?

How much, how rich is rich? I wanna know. I think it's pretty rich, because he's also, I mean, I think he's got that family money from whatever that person name was is Columbus Collingsworth Cummings ball Puff face, but then he also Columbus ball bearing Puff face You know famous Southern visionary Columbus

His name basketball's in his name. That's why it's a famous Columbus Columbus basketball His name basketballs in his name. That's why it's a famous Yeah, I just a gun that shoots t-shirts into crowds. I don't really care how rich he is. I just I'm like Taylor What are you doing? I'm like what are you doing this for? You're so young and fresh now. You're all doubtty. I'm like, look, I'm wearing glasses and bathing things. I don't know. It's like, and you two, Olivia's like 23. She's with Austin. You two look ridiculous, okay? It's like you, you look exactly the same first of all. They're the exact same type, you know? It's like skinny, pretty blonde girls, not the script blonde girls.

You wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup, you know, if they committed murder. And they're sitting there with these two leathery wallets You know just why is it what is it worth? Well, I I like that Taylor looks like she's becoming jaded I feel like last season she was fresh and optimistic and now she's sort of settling into dissatisfaction and Wondering is it worth it to break up with Shep now and start a whole new relationship in the city full of douchebags or just ride the wave and enjoy that inheritance? Yeah, she's settling for settling basically.

Yeah, so good Shep gets a nice brag in there about how Richie is and then Austin's like, okay, well I've got to down the left for you guys. Me and Leva, you know, we think that Craig and Naomi hooked up in Charlottesland. They hooked up in Charlottesland. How old are you? Who cares? What's the have to do with you? Get a fucking wife, okay? Besides you pretend to be her. Yeah, and Olivia's like, is he trying to lie about it? And he goes, 1000%! 1000! Okay? And he looked at me and she said,

I hooked up with her in Vegas and realized, she is not the girl I love and why I walked away on my own, but I a thousand percent believe that he he hooked up with her again. And Olivia's like, well how does that make page feel? He's like, yeah, well, that's the point. That's the point Olivia. Welcome to the conversation Olivia.

And she's like, oh, I didn't tell you this so Taylor and I we decided to go next order reds And so we we went in there and then there's page and Craig so it's like hey Hey I'm so supportive, wow, crab, wow, you're a bit so smart. And then crab was like, eh, hi. And then, and then they walked away. And then they were arguing at the bar. And they'd like, yeah, and I was like, let's go. This is uncomfortable, let's go.

They were arguing. Yeah, it was like the most unremarkable story. So you ran into your friend, and then afterwards you saw they may have had a disagreement about something. So Shep's, he's like, this is like Shepanon. This is like the conspiracy theory that he's weaving. So Shep is like, gosh, I think Naomi is gonna invite Craig to her party because it's pages out of town.

That's my theory based on what I saw. And often it's like, oh, I think that page knows nothing. And he's like, no, credit told her, what? What, how much wool is in this city that can be pulled over my eyes every single day? He's like, oh, but I think we are trying to say Austin is this she doesn't know the whole story. Like Greg think he got, thinks he got us,

but we can still ruin his life. Is that what you're saying? And he's like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, And I just have a hunch that he's been in love with for five years there. That's it. That's it. It's just crazy because Naomi is so not tall. I don't even know how you fall in love with someone that height. No offense Taylor. So then now we go now it's time for Naomi's big party. And so Chef Nico is there in the kitchen. And then of course John Pringle is riding over with Craig. He's like, oh, well, this is my first time over to Naomi's mom's house in probably about four years.

I heard they got a little keg chop and salt, so I'm ready for a little fun time to Naomi's. I don't even know what the girl is to be honest. I'm just ready to have fun times. And Craig's like, yeah, this is my first time in Naomi's mom's house in like four years. I have so many memories in this house. Like, me and Naomi, we had like our own little smack tray

that we would like fill with like any kind of smacks you can imagine. Like Skittles, cheese, Skittles, this is mostly Skittles, but still it was on a tray. And Pringle's like, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I don't know if that's cute or not. Actually. Okay, like, oh, and around this turn, I used to live here. Oh wait and now where we are this this place here

I used to call it MIDI because it was like midway between where I used to live and where Naomi was Oh, that's a bush. I once walked by it when I was walking to Naomi's oh That mailbox belonged to a neighbor of Naomi's and I see that sometimes when I was driving Naomi's it's like really cool Yeah, it just all fell apart Like I believe the country to get over Naomi, okay, this was the love of my life It's been four years and I have a lot of baggage here So then they all start arriving and Pringle just looks like he rolled out of bed his hair sticking straight up It's all greasy.

He's like, hey, I just wanted to say, how do my good friend, Bar? Where is it? Where's he at? Where are you at Bar? Hey buddy. Yeah, he sort of does that thing where he's got one hand in his pocket, so we're trying to be casual,

kind of like whistling, like, but like making his way very swiftly over to the bar. More importantly, we have the return of Wilson, one of my favorite gaze on Bravo. Now that Naomi's back, Wilson is back too. So Wilson is there, we got seafood towers. It's a proper Naomi party. I'm drinking water like paydrake.

I hold that up. Oh my god, like, I'm just smashed that like button. Smash that like button. Why did I need to have the gallon of water right now? I don't know, but I did. So do you want some coffee instead? So Leva is like standing over there looking like the nosy neighbor from next door. I just wanted her to be behind a bush So she could lift her head up and be like

And then Frank will go up to Naomi and he's like, oh, hey, hey great place here Talk to Craig on the on the way over here about your relationship. He said you guys used to have a snack tray She's oh my god. That's like so funny that he remembers that. Yeah, I was like that's kind of cute Do the snack tray have a bar on it by any chance? You can pass it over here He's he said you could put any kind of snack you can imagine on it just wondering This beer kind of the snack is other was I really like to see that snack tray So Olivia says hi to Craig and and hugs him and he's like,

do you come with? Oh, I don't really care. I just wanted somebody to say this to you. This is kind of my old house. Like, this is where we spent the first six months of our relationship together. Like that banister. I remember one time that guy leaned on it and know me was like, that's gonna fall. But then it didn't and I was like, do you owe me an apology?

The romance, the romance, it won't let go of my heart. One time I remember standing over there and I poured out a whole thing of protein batter on the snack tray and Naomi was like, this is first snack. It's not protein batter. I was like, a protein batter can be a snack. And then she said, it's not. And I was like, you have to believe in me sometimes

because I have like a vision. And she just like threw it out. And then like, what, we she washed it. And then she put crackers on it. It was pretty cool. Yeah, last time I was here, I had a you all in the middle of the night. Mm.

It was next door, unfortunately. And Naomi was like, what are you doing? I was like, I'm packing to leave. And she's like, you're at the wrong house. You fucking idiot. And I was like, what's to leave and she's like you're at the wrong house you fucking idiot and I was like what's wrong with my sewing So then Pringle then is now now it walks up to Olivia Pringle's just making those around his rounds like he's like hey

Hey pretty lady here, so I already wait on a date with Austin. Uh, was it fun? Have you seen any maybe an M still light around? I'm like down for anything at this point She's like well actually it's a double date. He's like, sad I wouldn't invite it. She's like, well, it was just basically me and Taylor, but then the guy is just like crashed our date. So, yeah, well, the age of the New York. So, about something, but she's here in a couple of days.

Maybe we could like, I don't know, triple date and walk down the street that I used to walk on with Naomi sometimes. Maybe, I've got an idea for a triple date. All right, we're going to all gather around the snack tray and then each day brings out a different snack, we put it on the tray and then we compare. And it's like three snacks, but one play and it's like, it's cool. No, I mean, I used to do it.

It's fun. it's cool, like, no, I'm gonna do it. Just, it's fun, it's cool. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. So, Marcy comes, cousin Marcy. The long-awaited cousin Marcy comes and bad news. It's another sandpaper voice. You just hear like, Hi, everybody!

So, oh my God. What's this cast just breathing in, you know, from the back of a fucking tailpipe on a car. I thought she was wasted at first. She's like, I'm not so concerned. I was like, go and hear this snack play it around. What's going on people? I was like, Oh man, she's wasted.

But that turns out she's pregnant. I was like, Oh, it's just sort of like in your blood then. Yeah, I mean, hey, listen, what do we know? You know, maybe she thinks she's pregnant in the 70s. Worked for my mom. That's true too. So Craig, Hugs Craig, well, first he shakes his head and then he hugs him and Craig's like,

you're shaking my hand now. He's like, yeah Craig, let's keep it formal. Come on So they meet Marcy and husband John and Vanita's talking to Marcy and she's like I feel like I know you were you On real housewives of Beverly Hills prank to a trash can And so Kim Richards and time she fucking forget it. How's the return of the witch mountain bitch? So then Patricia and Whitney show up and Naomi is like she's like oh wow Whitney you look so handsome for your age because thank you mother thank you you look so handsome for your age, because thank you, mother.

Thank you. You look like a robber bear and gars. So then Austin Hugs, Olivia and Pringle is in the middle of them. And he's like, I was in the middle of something for a minute. So which one of those is my drink? Mm-hmm. More more more. So the Madison's there too, by the way, just sort of like roaming around her hair Which one of those is my drink? Mm-hmm. And one of them.

So the Madison's there too, by the way, just like roaming around her hair is like really big today. So Patricia goes up to Madison's like, you have on my leopard dressy little skank, God, when you wear my clothes, no wonder why people think that sandpaper voice ladies richer than I am. Mm-hmm.

I love it. I have a leopard dressy that doesn't look like that on me. And then we got a Prinkle and Craig. And Prinkle's like, uh, so how old is nobody? How is the reunion? And Craig's like, uh, we just always act like nothing's wrong. So I guess that's still going on. So then Marcy meets Patricia.

And she's like, wow, Patricia, I'm not only is she my cousin, but you're neighbors now I am the battery by any chance You're living the battery I bet you're in the battery god. I would love to find someone in the battery one of these days Oh chef she looks just like you and unfortunately that's not a compliment, sorry. And chef's like, uh, we're Hobbs. That's why double B, my mom's side. And so Patricia's like instant respect, you know, she's like, ah, so she's rich. Oh, next to get a tell, Mrs. Pala, the Jupiter Island Club.

She's part of the Jupiter Island Club. Oh God, when you're part of the Jupiter Island Club, you can't just have money. You need a legacy to get in, gosh. Oh, that's Marcy, because Marcy says that. Marcy comes on right away like, I'm rich bitch. She's like, yeah, you can't just have money. You have to have a legacy to get in. And our great, great, great grandfather Columbus Cummings will road die coke worked on a real road

And he sold it to Vanderbilt and John didn't know I even add money until we signed the prenup before I met John I was like a party girl. I was like a girl chef You know I was like a girl chef and now I have nice dinner parties instead of wild animal house parties. Yeah, God, I love that, John. I love when he's like, hey, Marcy, let's sit on the fireplace and look at an L.B. and catalog. God, I'm so happy with my choice in life.

Why don't I get the feeling down to anything? What do I get that feeling that John takes a wine bottle to the head every once in a while? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha grandchildren who aren't married with kids. Well up until now. Sorry, Marcy. Oh, God, John. John wants to look at candles. I can't see this shit. So Craig is talking to Naomi and he's like, funny because this is where it all started right in there, right in that kitchen. And she's like, yeah, snack platters.

He's like, yeah, I don't think I'll about the snack platters. She's like, yeah, snack platters. He's like, yeah, I told Pringle about the snack platters. She's like, yeah, he told me about it. He's like, why do you think I brought it up? You idiot. She's like, isn't it funny that that was almost like 10 years ago? He's like, oh, I know, wasn't it when we used to be? She's like, yeah, it was. Like, I was 22 and I'm turning 30 this summer.

Wow, isn't that nuts? And he's just looking around. Like, he would, yeah, it was, like I was 22. And I'm turning 30 this summer. Wow, isn't that nuts? And he's just looking around, like he would rather be anywhere else. And then he spits behind him. And she's like, God, you gotta stop that, like stop. Like you're swallowing ice. And like, that's the big turnoff for people, Craig, you know, chewing ice.

What's wrong with my chewing ice? She's like, she's like, you know, chewing ice is bad. And he goes, don't bring that shit around me. You were the wrong person. I don't want to hear his weird shit. I love chewing ice, which I've never heard someone actually proclaim that they love chewing ice. Usually people say like, oh yeah, I always chew ice.

But no one ever says they love chewing ice. Oh, so Austin is watching and sipping. Like he's in housewives confessional. He's like Craig, Craig tells us yeah, I think Naomi has feelings for me that she didn't take care of like she showed them and then when we up in Vegas they fell off the shelf, but then she was like, the shelf, but then she was like, she was like those feelings would look much better with skittles around them. Oh my god, I miss Greg. I miss Greg. Have you ever had salt and vinegar feelings before they're delicious? She has those. So she's like, okay, Craig, do you want to have your told you so moment? He's like, well, you can say something if you like.

I mean, a little bit, just a little say something. She goes, okay, you were right. He's like, yeah, yeah. And Leva's me while like in the other room watching. She's like, I think they seem like they're gonna get back together. Leva, okay. Well, like soon Leva's just gonna be,

she's just gonna be coming up matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match Come on you love a me so they look like a miserable Couple who did has been married 30 years and just wants the other person to die, you know I get nothing from Naomi nothing like wow They really look like they want to be back together and everyone's like, oh my god, look at the romance happening over there He's looking around the room trying to find an escape and she's like, oh my god I have to talk to this fucking loser just to be on this show. Yeah, I am not sensing that she's trying to get back with him

whatsoever, but I think that he thinks that she is it's weird Kissy says it constantly Yeah, that's the guess. He wants me. He wants me. So now outside, there's like more eating. Shep messes up, slurping a noisder. And then Marcy's talking to Taylor. And she's like, she's like, wow, she's like, I gotta tell you something, Taylor.

Shep has been gushing about you. And I was like, have children, have children. Oh, it's like, oh, Marci's that person is like, I mean, to me, it seems like she is very unhappy that she had to give a per-party lifestyle. So now she's trying to recruit others, right? Like, that's the vibe I'm getting. Well, she's, yeah, she's trying to drag people into hell with her. Yeah, she does have that kind of attitude about her. This is my least favorite kind of conversation. It just makes me uncomfortable

and I just want to like, I don't know, like come up and be like, hi, I'm a gay person. Let's talk about feminism, you know? This is just like three Southern ladies standing around only talking about like, but does he like you? Is he gonna marry? When are you gonna have babies? But can I have babies? Am I too old? You can freeze your egg? What are you gonna have babies? But can I have babies? I'm not too old. You can freeze your egg. What are you gonna do about babies? Will you still have time to have babies before it's dangerous? You can't have baby. What are you gonna do if you don't have baby?

It's Austin gonna give you a baby. Are you gonna get a baby? And then it's just uncomfortable. And Taylor Olivia doesn't even fucking know Austin, okay? She went to one party with him and then a double date with him. They're acting like they've been dating for all this time. And she's like, I barely know the guy, but when we showed up at the party, everybody's just gushing at us.

And then it made me feel pressure, you know? So now I'm like, what are we doing? What is the status of our relationship? And while all this is happening, well entire conversation is happening Austin is like staring He's like his tongue is flapping. He's like But then you know what makes it even worse. Did you see who is standing next to Austin during this scene? No I'll give you a hint It's been through some tough shit, man. He's seen it all

He's worked too hard time up in the Hamptons. The tops, Lindsay Hubbard, Karaki and Kyle, but he's made a tough job to know. It's Everett. I once flew helicopters over a town called Hamptones, but then the last landing was dangerous. Bullets were flying, shells were falling, and I saw the woman of my dreams. It was a fuzzy face, so I couldn't quite tell. But she had blonde hair, she was thin, and she was tall, which is all anybody in the town of my dreams ever needs. Hamptons, nowondescript blonde white lady. Love forever. Ever. I lost seven men that day to the workest twins and I'll never forget it.

Wow, so ever ever in town, huh? Yeah, ever was at that party standing right next to Austin. I did ever say he was moved down to Southern Charm? I mean to, to Charleston. I don't know. I feel like he is. He is with one of those skinny blonde ladies, skinny blonde white ladies. I guess he drank the Kool-Aid or whatever. So let's see, Austin, oh, so then Austin takes Madison a drop-hop.

Oh my God, wow, half flattering. Like, wow, I found a butterscotch in the glove compartment of my car, the one I want to get married. And she's like, speak of the devil. And he's like, oh, I brought you a drop-hop. It's insane right now. And Craig's like, wait, why are you guys talking

to each other? And I was like, I haven't even said hi yet, Craig. Stop pulling the wool over my eyes, Jesus. We're fine. Just talking me, fine. Craig, you're me talking. So why can't we talk? He's like, this is just wild, like being back here, like that over there. That's the first time. Naomi's mom looked at me with like disgusting her eyes and said, did you just swallow a whole piece of ice? And I said, what's wrong with my eyes? Wallowing. Oh, that explains why you're walking around with that tray full of eyes.

I didn't understand it. It's a snack tray. So you're talking to her over there. You know, so yeah, so speaking of your question, why are y'all talking? Why are y'all talking, Craig? You want questions asked? He's like, fair. So, Massacus. Craig, you still love her. I remember you saying your picket's mistake was letting her drive away in that car, half a block down to her house. I know that was terrible for you. And also goes,

I told you that stuff, Madison. I told you, eh? Yeah, you tell her everything I ever told you anyway. Hey, what's coming on with you, T? You seem toxic. Well, we have stuff that's been fastering, but we see each other enact like nothing's happening. You all have a Craig, but your specialty isn't a Craig. You just suck with nothing's happening, right? And he's like, you know, well, if you don't have things to say, like, if you don't think you have to say,

it's all right to me, then that's sad. Austin, Madison goes, Gus, you're wearing matching shirts. You should probably get over this. So then, that it cuts the pringles going, hey, do you have a light beer? He's just asking someone that. You know, well, is there a bearer. I got him just going down

and flames right here. I could just someone's got it's just like some rubbing alcohol around. I mean, I'll take anything at this point. So the ladies are all gathered gathering inside like in the kitchen area and Veneta is sitting with Gwyn's and Patricia. Like they're all standing together on this little bench. Yeah, and then other people are standing around. The stuff in Olivia comes in. And Patricia's like, so I heard about you seeing the other party. And I was like, well, it started nicely.

Love is just popping up behind the counter. Am I watching the scene or am I in this scene? Am I here for reactions? Or do you guys want me to talk? And Olivia goes, well, let me tell you something about that party. It turned into Jerry Springer instantly. And Patricia goes, well, what does she have against you, Naomi, is it because you live in elegant life

to spot all that cheating with the tool? You did it not you. So don't worry about that. She goes, despite having this tiny bus stop in your living room for your elders to sit on. Oh, sorry. Did I make you feel poor? I guess that's what I do when you're the richest one at the party, everyone. Not me more. Client, shit. So Naomi is like, she's like, I don't know what she has against me. She thinks I'm coming for her and Livy goes, so I don't have a dog in the fight, but truly, from what I understand, she said that last time she spoke to you was when you were going through

some hard stuff, and then you reacted on Twitter rather than go straight to her. straight to her. Uh, chef, get your face away from the window. Marcy's richer than you are. Marcy's someone close the drages. And Olivia's like, uh, I was with her when she said her intention was a piece offering. And then so like, when you said you don't want to be here, my thought was like, why would you come then? And now I'm, he's like, I mean, yeah, well,

the reason I went was if you extend an olive branch, I'm not just gonna say no, I'm just gonna be like, I don't like olives, but I guess I'll watch you eat them with your piece of wood in your hand. You know what I mean? And Olivia's like, yeah, but you weren't open to it. I mean, you do remember it's talking at the party, right?

And then we see a clip of that, and Naomi's telling her, yeah, Catherine and I do not have a relationship. Like, her energy drains me and makes me feel so bad. And I'm almost like 30 years old. Like, I don't wanna be around people, I don't wanna be around. I heard you dice.

Like, don't talk to her. So then Olivia back to present is like, well, you were saying, I don't wanna to be there and Venita's like, um, I don't like this girl. What's she doing? And Leva goes, she's known Catherine a while and has wonderful parents who have great tastes and investments, okay? Olivia goes, I'm not taking sides. I'm not. I have no dog in this race, okay? And Venita goes, but you are. You're on the need, you're on Catherine side. And then Gwen, I just wrote Gwen chirps because

they just keep showing Gwen's going like she's trying to have lines, but she can't have any of that. Every time she tries to say something, they speak over her and you just hear like, chirp, chirp, chirp, my dad and Gwen's, my dad and Gwen's, my dad and Gwen's really lost, the Gwen's lost a lot of credibility with me ever since she and her friends were terrible on below deck that one season. Yeah, she sex. So Olivia's like, I'm just asking questions and Vanita's like, but you have to like listen

to the answers and she goes, okay calm down. I don't need all this. And she goes, first of all, do not tell me to calm down. That is first and foremost, because of all of the people here, I don't need to be there. Okay, Catherine was being racist last year. I didn't even need to be in that room, but I was there making an effort and Austin comes in.

He's like, Jesus, there's anywhere to pee without walking in there. Do I have to walk in there? There's gotta be another way to go. Do I have to walk past all those largely untal people, except for Olivia? Gosh! So then Olivia's like, you know, I was just asking a question and I was there the day before

and she offered a peace offering and then I talked to you and you were like, I don't want to be here and I couldn't make sense of the whole thing. And no, I was like, did you tell Catherine that? Is that why she screamed at me? I was waiting for Levin to be like, actually I was the one who said that it was frosting I got her agitated. The Levin's like just like just of course super quiet right and Olivia's like no no no no no no no no no I haven't spoken to her and she goes up so like what are you even like trying to do right

now she goes okay you know what I'm dipping out of this right now I don't even know what you guys are coming at me for my mom I'm gonna dip out and Vinnie does like um if you're trying to have a hard conversation right now you don't walk away from a hard conversation. And so then Olivia just goes off and, uh, no, I'm just like, wow, God, thanks. I felt like I had like a whole, like, I had a whole group behind me. Thank you so much. Feels beer to not be the supporting player on the show anymore. Thanks. It's like chirp chirp.

Chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp. Quins. Now with their July 4th sale. So Gwynns, now with even Poofier sleeves. So we just cut to Shep outside going, hey, take me to your leader. Take me off. Shep, that's not a spaceship. It's an airplane.

Yeah, Shep, the joke might have been funnier if that was the first airplane that's flown over Charleston, but. So love is like, I'm worried about Olivia. I wanted you guys to get along. Get them. It goes, we'll get along. It's fine.

We'll be fine. Part of getting along with me is me just rolling my eyes at you for a few minutes first. So. So then Vanita feels bad. So she's she doesn't want to live you to feel attacked. So she's going to go she decides she will go apologize to her. But first. So I'll live a I was going to say Olivia is talking to Austin and he obviously just might be going to be there. You know, he's doing the looking around the room. Like, is there anyone else like a talk to you? She's like, well, I'm just flustered

because bottom line, I'm not taking sides. And he's like, what are the sides that you're taking sides in? What are they? What are they again? And she's like, I mean, I just said, why did you come if you didn't want to come? And then a firestorm went off. And he's like, firestorm in the sides.

What are we talking about again? And Olivia goes, she tells us like, I'm just, I would take up for anyone who's not at a party being talked about like this. I'm like, uh, listen, I hate to break it to you, Olivia, but you're the one who said, oh, yeah, turn into a Jerry Springer fight. You're kind of the one who, well, Patricia kind of, Patricia started. She said, ah, they was the same. But then it was Olivia who was like,

it turned into Jerry Springer. And now she's gonna act like, I'm gonna take up for someone who's being talked about at a party. I'm like, you're the one who said Jerry Springer. So, but anyway, so she's like, but it didn't read well, but Regina George and the girl. So she's gonna try to paint it like Naomi's like the cool girl

when Olivia is clearly The one who has played that role her whole life So yeah, so Venita comes over and she's like, you know, look, I want to apologize because I'm a big girl Okay, and I didn't want you to feel attacked and Olivia's like, oh wow, okay? Well, I appreciate that and she's like because I know that it was like three of us on that tiny little bench going like And you know, I just want to I want to keep level headed like I'm not about drama and Olivia's like what are you doing in this time then she's like I don't know baby I don't know she's like I it's a question I'm I'm just trying to backdoor my way into summer house at this point she's like I'm making six figures a month what are you

doing in this town? I know. So now, Leva and Naomi are talking. No one's like, you know, you can just see it on Naomi's face. Like, oh, it's so hard being a main cast member this season. I have to do so many scenes with people talking about things. So Leva's like, so, I thought that you and Craig were gonna get back together. And she's like, you're like a mom lover. She's like, no, I'm not.

Anyway, I did make you this PB&J Sam in case you got hungry during your party though. She's like, you were so cute together. Oh my God, Austin, you're here. Yeah, you know, that's good. Because I don't like to play telephone, and I was talking about how you said, but I said, but then you said, but I said,

and then I said, but you said, you know, that whole thing? And he you said, but I said, and then I said, but you said, you know that whole thing. And he's like, ah, should this middle? Should I get out? So he sits on the couch with him. And she's like, remember when I said, like I saw them in Vegas and like they were really cute. And you were like, but I heard,

and I was like, no, but I saw. And you were like, but I heard, do you remember that? And he's like, well, I'm interested for the time I've proposed, okay? Because like, the time, my purpose is what I meant to say. Because Craig is not someone to just sleep with someone. You know, I guess it must have been a mini connection. Because why would you sleep with him,

but then not have a connection with Craig? I mean, were you hanging out Charleston? She's like, That's the first one. He says, were you hanging out in Charleston? And she's like, for like a week. And he goes, okay, you and Craig slept together more of what's true or false?

True or false? She goes twice, but that's it. Okay, I've left out here. I've got a question. When you guys did hang out, did you get any stance? Because I have some, I have some magic eraser in my bag. Mom, stop it. Okay, do you want to know the details or do you want

to clean me up? Go on, Craig is such a good liar. Like literally, I'm like, Casper the Ghost right now, because I've covered all my face. Like literally over my ass. I mean, he's like one time never again. And the way he described what was going on, he was like, I was right. And then she came calling and then we hung out and then we slept and it was like, a psh, a psh, never again. He was like, psh, he's slept and it was like Pish, Pish, never again. He was like, Pish, he was like, Naomi's like a little skank whore.

Like Pish, whoever wants to dip into that well again. Like Pish, he was just like saying the meanest, gosh, things, I just stole gosh from Shep, it was so bad. We just the most insane things about you. And then we see a clip of Craig, which Craig was being a dick. Like Austin's not that far off because Craig was like Yeah, I like woke up and big as and I was like I am like done like I'm not into this like I'm not into this and chips

Like yeah, well, it's good that both parties like got to like re-experience Media-occurty to really know that they could do better and Craig's like yeah Well, I think it was better for me than for her because like, it woke up this sleeping like, I felt like bad a little bit. I felt like a bad. Like, oh wow, the pillow, the fucking pillow industry is really gotten to your head. Yeah, so Austin's like, yeah, he just scribes you. Do they give no bells for fucking pillows?

Is there a James Beard section for pillow making yet? There probably is actually. G. Best pillow in the Eastern regional region. She's congrats on your throat pillows, but fucking. Hey, man. Yeah, so Austin's like, yeah, he described you that you're like clingy or something like that. And no, I mean, it's awesome. It's like yeah, he described you that you're like clingy or something like that and known as like

Mmm, I don't believe that he would describe me in that way. So then Craig enters and he's like Uh, I'm gonna go and they all just like look at him and don't say anything. He's like cool This is awkward and he walks away and I was like Craig can kiss my ass Which probably has wool on it, cause he pulls wool over everything. I love when Craig comes in, they start playing bongos. So like, here's the Craig musical. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

I'm gonna go. I was like, that was quite a musical cue for that. So then, yeah, Austin's like, I'm gonna go, and then love is like, yeah, I'm gonna go to. They're so lame. It's like you just come in, stab someone in the gut. And then you're all like, bye. Really even, you know?

I never was like, and Naomi's like cool as a cucumber because I thought she was just like, whatever. But then they leave and then correct. I was like, why was that so weird? Did something happen to the snack tray? And they always like, no, Austin was just trying to prompt me for things.

He was like, correct, whereas it was only one time, I was like, it was twice. And Craig's like, I told him it was twice. And Paige knows it was twice, okay? And then I was like, yeah, he tried to hurt me by being like, oh, by saying like that you said like, oh, she's my ex for a reason. He's like, he said that, like,

babe, that's a really mean thing to say. What I specifically said was, I knew you were not the one for me. I never want to sleep with her again. It's totally different. And I feel bad for you. That's totally mean to say, like I haven't even talked to him about it.

I'm really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really. I'm like, oh, I'm really, this is it. We love it. We love it. Like, okay, Craig, someone come mop Craig off the ground. His face is all red. He's just like smording, trying to keep the snott misnose. So then Naomi says something that I think makes total sense. She says that like after a mature,

she was seeking comfort in someone that she trusted and knew, someone that she trusted and knew, like that she knew understood her. And so that's why she went to Craig but ultimately was a fleeting thing, which I think is not the same as Naomi Riela. She was always in love with Craig all this time. Like people seem to forget the person

who broke up that relationship was Naomi. Naomi dumped Craig. People are acting like Naomi had her heart broken and now she's, you know, and now it's like unrequited love. I was like, she dumped Craig, guys. Yeah, so Craig's like, look, we had an amazing experience, all right. She's like, he's like, what, but we did.

And I love you to death. And you know, I'll always feel that way. I wish you and the guy became though, like because like, you would have really liked the guy. He was pretty great. Like, yeah. Oh my goodness. Oh, they're like,

airport. Just said something like, how cool. He said, you got the airport. He goes, you'd be really blown away about how early I show up at the airport now.

No. She's, I feel like Craig just lifts lines from romcoms. I can't put a, I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like when he said, you would have really, I wish you could have gone to know me who I am today because you would have really liked that guy. I'm like, I feel like that was either on This Is Us

or like some, like Patrick Dempsey movie that shows on airplanes. Like I just, it's like, I don't feel like that was either on This Is Us or like some like Patrick Dempsey movie that shows on airplanes. Like I just, it's like, I don't feel like this is an original kregism. I wish you had had me a hello. I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to prepare something on a snack tray. Notebook, notebook, notebook, notebook notebook. Notebook, notebook. You had me, hello.

You had me, hello. So she's like, yeah, I used to think showing up at the airport was a personality trait. Like, matured up early to a plane, I'd be like, wow. And he goes, yeah, well, you just kind of just drunk. Pfft. Pfft. like wow and he goes yeah well you just kind of just wrong. She's like yeah clearly.

Yeah Craig you're a real fucking catch there. Like could someone come wipe the fucking saliva this dripping down Greg's chin right now. And that was the end of the episode. So thanks everyone for for being here for listening, for those who are celebrating this weekend, you're an AmeriCorps, have a great 3-day weekend, and we'll catch you next week. Bye everyone! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors!

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