Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Winter Ball and Chain - Live From Kansas City

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Sivoni, she don't take no baloney. Brifty, wow, her dee, dowody.

Starting point is 00:00:36 Tally Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Sayon, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie, going to the Tobin. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson. Hava Nagila Weber.

Starting point is 00:00:59 And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Pelligrant, Vigrant Master! Give them home, Miss Noel! The incredible, edible Matthews sisters! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun, mother f- We love you guys! Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares What happened when there's so much that happens? What happened?

Starting point is 00:01:28 What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

Starting point is 00:01:36 What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened?

Starting point is 00:01:44 What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that You turned out what's going on I love about can eager. Oh, this is fun. I love about can he so many awful romantic things happen on balconies. I know You guys you showed up. Thank you so much for coming here. I know. Oh my god. Oh my god. We realize you could have gone to a Kenny Chesney concert. Or an Imagine Dragons concert. Why are you, but, or... Don't be bone.

Starting point is 00:02:37 Yeah, I would be. Boney. What's wrong with me? I'm not drinking yet, I promise. Yeah. Well, don't be Kenny Chesney. That's the same initials. KC, y' the same initials.

Starting point is 00:02:45 KC, yeah. KC. Our hotel is lit. Yeah. We're staying at this huge hotel. There's Kenny Chesney people, which of course, I'm very egotistical. So it's like, are you here for watch what crap?

Starting point is 00:02:56 And like, I'm literally stupid. Okay. Like everybody I see. This Kenny Chesney concert is so big that when we picked up our rental car today at this morning in St. Louis, the lady at Enterprise is like, oh, you're going to go to that Kenny Chesney concert is so big that when we picked up our rental car today this morning in St. Louis, the lady at Enterprise was like, oh, you're gonna go to that Kenny Chesney concert. We're like, do we look like we're going to Kenny Chesney concert? Do you feel judged right now, Bet?

Starting point is 00:03:15 Because you're a bee and how many rainbows do we have to fly in front of your face? Kenny Chesney and then there's like three weddings because you know we're like, a love eyes. I mean seriously But there's like three weddings going on there are gonna be so many drunk white guys with muffin tops when we get home And I'm so excited. I'm here for it. So we had actually a phenomenal day. This could be a crazy podcast experience because we are like, you know, sometimes when we do want some more of a podcast later night,

Starting point is 00:03:52 we're kind of like crazy, because we're tired or whatever. So we have driven across this state and we only got here like three hours ago. So we are just gonna be a crazy, crazy state today. Which is good. They're good way. And a good way. Oh my God. We have so much fun.

Starting point is 00:04:07 We were like, we've been doing this together for a long time. We were like, this is when we break up. Like, we both just figured. We never fight. We never have issues like that. But when you drive with someone, that's when you really, really know them because, like, in real life, we're like a normal pair of friends.

Starting point is 00:04:22 We don't talk to each other. We look at our phones. Yeah. What else did you do? So nice. It was weird. And Ben was driving, so he couldn't look at his phone. Oh my God, that was so hard.

Starting point is 00:04:34 It was hard. I could tell it was hard for you. He's still fuck with the Apple TV driver thing, though. You know, they have like the Apple. He's like, oh my God, it's Apple. Yeah. So we had a great time driving across the state on Route 7 to your whatever it was.

Starting point is 00:04:49 First of all, we're like loonish. Whatever you call those ridiculous highways. Which believe it, they have a route that goes across the state. I don't know. It took me like two hours to realize all the street, you know, all the freeway things are the shape of the state. Yeah. I was like, oh my god, those are the cutest little chap bubbles around every little thing. It was Missouri.

Starting point is 00:05:12 Stupid. I got so, so we did this road trip. Some of you guys may have seen it because we documented it heavily on our Instagram story today. I was so mad at Ronnie because like he would he refused to do an IG Story of the Missouri River. I was like we're going over the Missouri River. This is historically He's like I refuse we went over 30 fucking rivers like how many rivers you want to put on it? It's all a river been Welcome, it was really cool driving with Ronnie like doing a road trip because it's like cross the country I didn't know what I was gonna be like are we gonna have like a deep talk? driving with Ronnie, like, doing a road trip because it's like cross the country. Who knows?

Starting point is 00:05:45 I didn't know what it was gonna be like. Are we gonna have like a deep talk? Are we gonna cry? It's been the entire time talking about the podcast. We spent like four hours looking at every billboard and reciting it in Shannon Bedore voice. There was like, everything was like, oh, MMA, military camp.

Starting point is 00:06:04 That sounds fun! The Heartland. Everyone's like, oh my MMA, military camp. That sounds fun. The heartland. Everyone's like, oh my god, look at the army. Look at the army camp. And it's like a guy swinging on a rope. Like, it's so fun. I was like, we are really selling this hard to these poor kids, you know?

Starting point is 00:06:18 Everything was like, everything was like, oh, Jesus, Jesus saves. Come in here, Jesus forgive, Jesus saves, come in here, Jesus for a gift, Jesus for a gift. Born. Born. It's like, oh. And you know when you're in the heartland, where they got like 10 places to jerk off in a row.

Starting point is 00:06:35 I was like, yes. There was someplace. There was someplace, it was like a shack that said like, love country music. And then like next to it, like in an outhouse, it was like, it was like adult center couples welcome. I was like, I don't know what happens between the live country music and the porn shack. And the tractor shop.

Starting point is 00:06:54 And there was something else there, I forget what else. But it was like an amazing strip mall. It was like a horribly disconnected strip mall. And then there was that one, you guys know what I'm talking about because someone here was telling me Oh, there's like five foreign shots, you know, so You've asked a Bible thing that's like an abort you know, it's like abortion call this number for Jesus I'm like just Jesus answer this phone because it's like every bell board and also I'm from Texas So try I'm only judging as much as I would judge there, which is like all the time obviously

Starting point is 00:07:24 Yeah, so it's like abortion as much as I would judge there, which is like all the time, obviously. Yeah. So it's like abortion, Jesus, you can call a number for Jesus. Then it's four porn places, and then there's a billboard, a billboard, to wash your hands. There was a public stage announcement with this green hand that was like, dirty hands are bad. You should wash your hands. Like after five porn billboards,

Starting point is 00:07:45 but like, it's so great being in the heart. It's a lot. And if your hand is turning green after you masturbate, you might want to see a doctor. Like, it goes beyond the washing your hands. That will teach David not to mess with people on the beach. David. But we're not here to talk about on the beach. David. But we're not here to talk about Shannon Bedore. We are here to talk about what may have been the most fantastic season finale of Southern Tarm.

Starting point is 00:08:16 We have ever witnessed. I'm proud of it. Man. One of the best things about doing what we do in recapping shows is that we don't really have to create the shows and we still get applause for them. Yeah, it's amazing. We really do. Let's say the name of a really good show and people have applause.

Starting point is 00:08:33 Alph. Alph. Oh yeah. Hi. That's why that podcast failed. I broke it. Well, keep trying. I have to say also, before we we dive into it there's so many people

Starting point is 00:08:51 showed up in these amazing Southern charm things like I'm seeing like I see right here in the front row We have a Craig Pa with like a Craig's on board trip. We have a trash leak A trash leak half-time We have two tricks. He monocles in the back. I We have two tricks the modicles in the back. I have to say, these are some of the best like, you guys have like really turned out with a caution. So really great job. And today's prize as usual is sponsored by Leibwack!

Starting point is 00:09:15 Leibwack! Leibwack! Leibwack! Leibwack has been making facelift in a box for years and beautiful jewelry, which the winner will receive tonight We have a very special guest judge watching walking around judging you secretly, so we'll give it to you later Okay, so for now this show is so great and it was an hour and a half long so good luck husbands. Yeah

Starting point is 00:09:40 Buckle and fuckers you're here for three hours Buckle in, fuckers. You're here for three hours. Yeah. Basically, we have to just like make this as long as possible with the hope that the Queer Eye guys who are next to our will finally wander in here. Yes, here I'm already jealous. I don't want them to come.

Starting point is 00:10:00 Fuck what I want those guys at my show. I'm the Queer Eye here. Mary, get out. Okay, so previously, now this is one of the gifts of today's show. Cameron is just like, I'm having a baby. Which is natural, like you don't plan your baby. Of course you do, especially if you're on TV. But she was like, well, I'll do one episode.

Starting point is 00:10:20 And they were like, well, you've got a lot to make up for. Who do you want to judge? She's like, everyone? They're like, okay. Here you go. His poster out, Cameron just came've got a lot to make up for. Who do you want to judge? She's like, everyone? They're like, okay, here you go. There's poster out, camera just came right out of the gate judging everybody. Everyone.

Starting point is 00:10:29 It was amazing. Welcome back, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, well, the best part about the previous leads on Southern Charm is that it really gives Trixi Monical a chance to show her craft. Oh, yeah. So this was like the Trixi Monical mega mix

Starting point is 00:10:44 that we've been waiting for. I mean, they had like the full tricky orchestra in there, okay? There was everybody showed up today. Yeah. So previously this season, who's got money? And then it's then it's just a montage, a very quick montage of the douchey-ass guys on this show. And I was like, oh, it's supposed to be about the douchey-ass guys on this show. And I was like, oh, it's supposed to be about the douchey-ass guys.

Starting point is 00:11:07 Yes, only. It's about the girls. That's why I watch everything. I didn't know it was actually about these douchebags. The girls bring the drama, but the guys bring that sense of superiority you sometimes need. You're like, oh, I thought I was not winning it in life, but I just saw Craig. And I'm like, oh.

Starting point is 00:11:25 Oh. Oh, I just, my archaic device to drop my water bottle on the table. Oh, how do I, oh, shan. Shan. Shan. Shan. Shan.

Starting point is 00:11:42 Shan. Shan. Shan. I got it up. Thanks, Sean. Anyone got a green hand at Sean? And you know that, the truth. It is nice to see a majority of men on television have a superior already complex without working out at all.

Starting point is 00:12:01 I mean, that is nice for someone like me, you know? That's called men. Straight men. Yeah, straight men. Okay, so. He's got money. No offense. No offense.

Starting point is 00:12:12 Yeah. He's got money. And then it's Thomas on a horse, except with his six pack apron. Craig stabbing, you know, probably stabbing himself or whatever with something. Like the black swan. Like the dumbest black swan ever.

Starting point is 00:12:23 And Austin just doing this. It's like literally the shot they shot of Austin, just moving his mouth and not saying anything. Austin who recently- You can make this shit up. I was like, thank you. Austin who was recently in the lamest scandal of like, Brabosh, we got all these tweets that like, have you seen the Austin video?

Starting point is 00:12:47 We're like, okay, what is it? And I couldn't even, what was it? It was that there were his girlfriend caught in the bed. Well, that's why I was like body shaving him because when you see a sex tape, I mean, look, Aireshilton, Kim Kardashian, they look good. I mean, those are some sex tapes, okay?

Starting point is 00:13:01 Girls making effort. Guys, like just some pushups at least. Like, before, make some kind of effort. Guys, just some push-ups at least. Like, before, make some kind of effort, he comes out in his boxers, and he's like grabbing his teeny-weeny, like trying to pull it, or he's trying to pull it

Starting point is 00:13:13 because his girlfriend showed up to his apartment, and he was in bed with two other girls, like two random girls, right? For some reason, a camera was rolling. A cellphone camera rolling. No, she was rolling. She did, girlfriend, I think. Am I gotten getting that's I'm heading it on Instagram, right?

Starting point is 00:13:27 Yeah, something like that. And so it's like, oh my god, it's dropping right now. Stop it. It was like the most polite scandal. He's like, you're like, oh, here comes like the bass. I'm just gonna say like the C words and then he's like, you're being a psychotic person.

Starting point is 00:13:42 I was like, I didn't even call her bitch. Yeah, I was like, oh, this is weird. It's so nice how misogyny is getting so polite. Leave it up to seven. You're being psychotic right now. Just a total psychotic collegiate person right now. You're like, oh, you sure study. I was like, so you know, it's mostly nothing's happening on camera.

Starting point is 00:14:08 They're showing like the bedroom door. And you hear the girl like, did you have fun back in the last night or something? And the girl's like, we have been back and just, oh, what'd you do? And she goes, I like the party. She's a representative of the Vengebus. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:14:24 One good thing about being old is our cell phones did not have cameras on them. When I... Yeah. Girl. I would have been murdered a long time ago. I can't believe you guys have to deal with that. Well, they're on them now, so just be careful.

Starting point is 00:14:40 It's not like... Yeah, look at me now. I've been out of the house for three days. Oh! I don't go out. I don't take pictures of anything. Wait, oh, look at me now. I'm like, I've been out of the house for three days. Oh, I don't go out. I don't take pictures of anything. Wait, oh wait, there's something we have. I can't believe we didn't even talk about this, but we have to push pause on this.

Starting point is 00:14:52 We haven't even started. We haven't even started. So we did this road trip today, and we're driving along. And in my rearview mirror, I was like, there is a minivan that is going entirely too fast. They're trying to tailgate us. I was like, I'm gonna move over because they're just driving meticulously. Oh my god.

Starting point is 00:15:08 Ben gets so persnickety in the car, too, by the way. I do. I'm like, uh, I'm like, Angela Landsbury driving, okay? Yeah. Beep. That's Ben in the car. I am. So I see this like minivan barreling down and I'm like, ugh.

Starting point is 00:15:23 So I move over the right lane so that way they can just pass. And then they get behind me. I was like, oh, they just are going out of their way to tailgate, whatever. So at that point, though, then like, the little shop of horrors came on or something. So we started seeing this and we forgot. I'm driving.

Starting point is 00:15:36 And all of a sudden, I looked the left and that minivan is like right next to us. And the people in the minivan have paper up against them and dozing. Watch what crap is. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. people in the minivan have paper up against them and saying watch what crap is I guess it was I'm assuming it was like that made that's you she's taking She found us on the highway. Oh, it is you I recognize your face. You are hilarious She found us on the highway and put up a series of like pages

Starting point is 00:16:04 on the highway and put up a series of pages that said like part, watch it's not about us, man. It was the coolest thing. Yeah, thank you. You made us feel so good. Thank you. Oh, it's so hilarious. OK, so we get all the whole season in like 30 seconds, which I will not put you through, because that will be,

Starting point is 00:16:22 I'll really, it'll be as long as roots. Like we'll be here for it. Yeah. Probably the wrong reference for this show. But I do like that every time the music changes. She's like, bap bap bap bap bap bap bap and it's like Craig holding a pillow.

Starting point is 00:16:38 Like. So dead eyed. I know. End adorable. God, I love his dead eyes. Ah. So dead eyed. I know. Ended horrible. God, I love his dead eyes. Ah. I just want to look into his dead eyes one day, and we're sunset and be like, hello.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Those are not dead eyes. Those are the eyes of a man who is high off of sewing a pillow. Chasing that high. Well, you can't get oxy anymore. Who needs oxy when you can make it for instance? But the knees. Don't be me, be the news. So, the episode opens with a bunch of pops of people doing different things.

Starting point is 00:17:15 The first thing we see is Patricia touring the Winter Wonderland ball. She's walking in a leopard coat with a bunch of random artsy decals, like a Jeff Coons, and a Keith Haring dog But like also like a Christmas tree on like it's like she like fell through like a moma catalog and like a Joanne fabrics All it wants is like well, it's all on me now. I'm just gonna look at the place now looks great You know how teachers in school and grade school that like I'll had Christmas sweaters or you know like they'd so shit on there It was all of the teachers from the same hallway just like cobbled together with a little fern like big diamonds. Yeah did you

Starting point is 00:17:51 notice when they showed Chelsea for one second camera's like I'll say this bitch you know she's so judgmental in her like narration but she's like I'll say this girl pretended to be in love with the math mover and then they cut to Chelsea and it's like Give us a Chelsea ban so I knew they were saving that for Chelsea every time I said it all year that is Chelsea's music And they show Chelsea it's like suddenly go from So we saw very soon we just shut up doing some some shots the girls in place called the dinghy No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no which for some reason they were not allowed to show the cover, so it's just like this white book. She's reading, she's like, um, are you kidding me? Um.

Starting point is 00:18:52 Becoming Trisha, are you kidding me? It's like a very slow riddle. What's you kidding me? The whisper fights. I love when, I love Catherine. It's like just a little rhythm. What's you kidding me? Mm-hmm. The whisper fights. I love when I love Catherine. It's like just a little whisper voice at all times. Becoming Patricia, are you kidding me? Fuck off.

Starting point is 00:19:17 Fuck off. Fuck off. So we finally land at Craig's apartment. And the music changes to motel six music like that that I don't know What you called that but that likes like motel 6 clown music. I'll go with that. Yeah, it's like the music motel 6 and like Tom Vodell was like not there so Craig's there We're actually only motel 3 we just didn't get all the way to 6 Nah, nah, nah. I'm supposed to do this without my hand. We're actually only motel three.

Starting point is 00:19:47 We just didn't get all the way to six. motel three. Craig, you are two lights in the evening get the third part of the motel six. motel three, we're stronger to you. So I like, we see a shot of like Craig. He has dead leaves in his foyer. It's like I'm just gonna assume that maybe the drawer was open and some dead leaves blew in

Starting point is 00:20:10 So he sweeps them no But he's dirty person, but they're like dead leaves in the foyer Maddie have a clean house like I'm not I'm not gonna judge on that But it's like Craig is the guy that goes to Narnie and doesn't even know he's been there. It's just like I went to, I went in the closet and it led somewhere and it came back. Now there's a piece in my house, don't get it. It's like, it's pretty Craig.

Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. Yeah, he's got Narnie a leaves in his foyer. And, but here's the thing, he's sweeping them and he's just sweeping them into the living room. It's like, open the door, he's like, well, well. And on top of that, he's got like the broom and the dustbin's attached to it, but he didn't take the dustbin off so he's sweeping it and the dustbin just falls off. He's like, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, Aw, he's like, now I gotta sweep up the dustbin'.

Starting point is 00:21:05 So the gust of Christmas judge your ass comes over and camera's like, not judge, not judge, not judge. And he's like, oh shit, you know, he's like, hey, look at me, we're under construction. He's like, no shit, great loser. Hell, you're doing with your laugh. He's leaving on the ground clean, you're fucking half-twist, Wrong with you, jeez. That...

Starting point is 00:21:25 This was actually a Christmas gift for Cameron. She's just been cooped up and she's like, please give me something to get. Just hardcore judgment. I want to do the most hardcore judgment. It's like, well, we can send you to Craig's house. There are leaves and possibly a record and suddenly a missing wall.

Starting point is 00:21:39 I'll do it! You know? I mean, I guess you get sick of judging your baby at some point. Even my mom went to junior league. So I like that Craig always tries to mask these crazy things with some sort of like, he almost tries to have some sort of sophisticated banter. He's like, wow, as you'll see, there's construction and stuff.

Starting point is 00:22:03 It takes so much longer than what you plan for. I'm like, you carved out your wall with a butter knife last week, like what? And then painted it over. Did you notice that? He carved a hole out of it, and then he didn't fix the hole. He just painted over the hole. Ever been people aren't gonna see the hole?

Starting point is 00:22:24 For people who don't want to show who are dragged along or just behind, we are not joking. He carved out the wall with his buttered eye and tore two tendons in his hand and now it's a little highlight thing. That's what this show is about. You're telling a woman who just dropped a baby into the world.

Starting point is 00:22:43 How much time cleaning your house takes? Do you know how long it took to make a human life, Craig? Yeah. Jesus. Just ask those billboards. Do you not come? I'm learning a lot. Anyway, so Kairma's just sitting there on the couch.

Starting point is 00:23:05 The wall that was there is gone. It's just like frames. I mean, you know that was a load bearing wall too. Like that roof is coming in at any second. Now it's just Sean. Oh. Can I move yet? I'm hungry.

Starting point is 00:23:19 Oh, Sean's on. So Kaira Cameron just sitting there. She's like, I cannot. She's like, all the times I ever passed judgment on chat. Like, nothing compares to what this shit hole is right now. And she's like, well, do you want something to drink? She's like, well, I'll have some wine. If you have wine, that's not old.

Starting point is 00:23:43 I don't know. I think I did. Because you know she's right, that's the thing. Like Cameron is just so rude. I mean, she is so rude and so harsh, and so fucking correct. She's on board. I mean, she's so right.

Starting point is 00:23:54 So he brings her the glass and she's like, she doesn't know if it's water from the faucet. That's the problem. It looked like Lewand at the coffee shop this week on Real Housewives of New York. Oh, man. What is this? Is this a mustard package? So Craig is like, well, you know, it's hard.

Starting point is 00:24:19 And she's like, yeah, I had a baby. And he goes, is your baby awesome? Because he still can't see the baby in real life because he refuses to take the vaccination for the flu shot because he's afraid he's going to walk backwards. Yeah. Whoever writes Craig, like whoever it

Starting point is 00:24:39 having is writing Craig to get an Emmy, because this guy is just fucking gold. I mean, he's gold. He's afraid he's gonna walk backwards. It's like I can't afford to live on the moon. It's the only place I'll be able to walk. So she whips out her phones. Look at me and another milestone, damn.

Starting point is 00:25:01 So have at you. What about the bar? What are you gonna do with your law? You're law-degree. My mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. And he's like, well, they have to you. What about the bar? What are you gonna do with your lottery? You're a lot of great. And he's like, well, they have to decide I'm a good person first. I haven't cleared character and fitness.

Starting point is 00:25:11 So, characters, when you choose a letter, that represents yourself. And fitness is like, you have to swim in three laps and I haven't done that. I was like, Craig, is that what it is? No. I haven't dressed like a character and taken enough steps on my FitBet yet. I'm not gonna love it.

Starting point is 00:25:32 He's like, but instead I started sewing pillow. He says, as a distraction. Well, it's a no-not distraction. You were chasing a high. You get high off of filamaking. You said it yourself. So Cameron already knows that she went to lunch with Whitney when she fed him is her breast milk or whatever like there That she's already made on our look at there. Look at that happen. That happens. It's just called the apatief fuel

Starting point is 00:25:55 So she already knows this but she's still gonna judge him really hard anyway And then poor Craig brings out the pillows. Yeah, he's so, because he's like, he's like, well, I have 20, he's like, I have 20 designs, I'm made. So, and she's like, oh my God, he's like, trying not to laugh. So it brings out all these pillowcases. They're just in a pile.

Starting point is 00:26:20 And you know, she's thinking what we're thinking, which is, you made the pillowcases, but you didn't even stuff them. You didn't even stuff them? Well, don't you put other pillows in those cases? I mean, I really only see Target and Ross, but that's how I'm used to it. Well, Ross, they actually do stuff at you.

Starting point is 00:26:37 Don't want to buy those fuckers. They are very uncomfortable. She's like, Craig, are you selling these pillows just giving them? He's like, I haven't done anything with them. She goes, well, I mean, just stuff them. It's not rocket science. And she's like, he goes, well, I haven't had anyone to talk to about it.

Starting point is 00:26:57 You had a life coach, actually. Who could... And you have the lady at the pillow store. Yeah. You look like a major character of the season, sir. Like, what should I do with my pillows? Why don't you stuff them? Go to IKEA, it costs $5 to get the stuff in.

Starting point is 00:27:12 This is a second live show this week and it's the second time I'm pointing out a woman on Broadway doing this and I love and they do it. And Cameron is the best at bitch, like diamond shaming you. God damn fly. Why are there flies on me? Because we're talking about Craig. And we have very intense garlic breath.

Starting point is 00:27:31 Apologies in advance, guys. So as Cameron judges, you write to her face, she does this. She does it every time. Every time she's mad at somebody, she's like, this is bigger than your head. She's doing, it's like her version of Get Out. She's just gonna hypnotize them with her diamond. It's called, or Craig gets called Get Up.

Starting point is 00:27:50 It's like, well, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr in the sewing place. Everybody just wants to sew pillows because it's trendy right now. Twist. Okay, so everybody, Craig. Okay, so it's more of Craig, I literally have two pages. And my next part is Craig gets his claw hand and he's like, is that thing really like relaxing? But it's his claw hand, like, is's supposed to feel sorry for you.

Starting point is 00:28:27 Why are you pointing out other things to give you shit for? Yeah. It's such an archaic device. Okay. So, Cameron's like, I'll just do something really southern right now. She just goes, Craig, God bless you. I mean, truly. Bless your heart for real Craig.

Starting point is 00:28:46 Clean up your goddamn house, you lazy ass. Yeah, you know, and just tells them off. You're like, ooh. Just destroys him, just destroys him. I know the camera never even talks to Craig. He's like, great, you're back at work, you know? And so she's like, well, you had a life coach, like, what happened?

Starting point is 00:29:01 He's like, well, I stopped calling her back, honestly, because of shame. I'm like, that happy? He's like, well, I stopped calling her back, honestly, because of shame. I'm like, that lady's shame, do you? She is like the most benign life coach we've ever seen. She's just like, she's like, I'm wearing a jumper. That's her face. I'm so glad to be able to do that, because I always do it at home, and no one can see it, but she's literally like.

Starting point is 00:29:23 Craig, why are you such a liar? I'm really proud of being a compulsive liar. I'm so good at that. Next time we talk, we're going to talk about why you're a fucking liar. Craig, I want to- James, James. I felt ashamed because I couldn't think of another self-portrait to make. All I had was a canoe from an LLB catalog.

Starting point is 00:29:52 And I- Oh, my God. So there we go, where the cat thrums have. Oh, wait, one last thing. Just one important thing is that basically, Craig is now realizing, like, oh, I guess I have to take accountability for the things I did in my- you know, in my relationship with Naomi, and he came and was like, I guess I have to take her with accountability for the things I did in my You know in my relationship with Naomi and he came and was like, what are you gonna tell her? He's like, yeah, yeah

Starting point is 00:30:09 I'll tell her which is important for later How are you taking accountability? All she wanted you to do was really clean your house I mean that's really on the air and we really like not that you're sewing machine right in the middle of the living room Yeah, you didn't cheat or anything You know, that's the thing about Craig. You didn't fuck around on you, who ain't doing drugs, you know? He doesn't have babies with other people that you don't know about.

Starting point is 00:30:29 I mean, I've dated some monsters. Okay. He hasn't even done anything. He just doesn't clean and work that much, you know? I love a dumb man who says, Pillow, send him over, you're on grateful little. Okay, so next. Next up is Catherine in an odd green pantsuit.

Starting point is 00:30:47 Yeah. I love Catherine clothes. Yeah. She's like, it's my first time ever entertaining. I'm going to entertain with Santa Pelicano. Like, how do they even mic her? So Catherine? We're not Madonna, Mike.

Starting point is 00:31:04 Like, coming down from her forehead, like, I don't know. Catherine has been self-tannin' and, uh... I think, you know what, those billboards on the highway are very important because... I think the key is when you self-tann, you have to wash your hands afterwards. Catherine, we love you. But you're a...it looked like you were doing pottery, okay. Watch the hands, watch the hands. It's called hamster bathing.

Starting point is 00:31:34 You're running into the same problems. Naomi comes over, I like the way Naomi enters the room, she walks in super quickly, like you open the door, she's like, oh, you know. Oh, happy bestielde everyone, by the way, speaking in French things. Scattered applause for the French. So they're talking about Thomas and Ashton, everything,

Starting point is 00:31:53 and like how Thomas feels stuck. That's what he was telling Catherine. Oh, girl, then Naomi's like, I have not done this much of the season. I have tried, I've got cute hair, I've had great outfits, I yelled at JD in the first episode, and now Ashton is a wh first episode and now Ashley's a whore Ashley is the whore

Starting point is 00:32:09 She's like so much. She's like her job for the next season She's just like so amazing, you know the rumor is that Ashley could quite possibly be an escort Who here believes that Ashley's an escort Who here believes that Ashley's an escort? Who here believes that she's a nurse? Yes! You can be right. This is a 2018 economy. Who has one fucking job? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:38 Who? Who among us has one job? It's called Making an Effort. Yeah. So they talk about that. And also, Catherine's really confused because she got this invite to the Winter Wonderland ball from Patricia. And she's like, super-irming. And she's like, arm, arm, arm, arm.

Starting point is 00:32:52 Is it a chest? It's a chest. They came to my door and they said, are you arm? And Naomi's pissed at Craig. And because apparently Craig called up Naomi, I was like, um, so I was thinking about asking this girl to the Winter Wonderland. Are you cool that she's like Craig And he's like just like did you ask her already? He's like actually I did already ask her I just mentioned that just meant to date her I feel bad for Naomi that's got me in like

Starting point is 00:33:24 One thing that I really love about Naomi, the season is like, we should actually kind of hate her because she's so mean to Craig. But I totally get, every time she just, like, berates Craig, I think it's the most hilarious thing. I think it's great. I think it's wonderful. I love her.

Starting point is 00:33:40 I love it. So yeah, she's like mad and quiet, but she basically got out her, like, actually, is a whore, and then she's like, you know, you's like mad and quiet, but she basically got out her like, actually is a whore and then she's like, you know, you got a captain's out friend you come over and she's like, how are you? And you're like, why are you asking me that? You know, we ain't going to talk about me. And she's like, guess what Ashley did.

Starting point is 00:33:55 You know, it's time for commercial. It's time for- Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. Any beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Starting point is 00:34:12 Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

Starting point is 00:34:45 How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon So she gets to you, she gets her pela grino out of it or whatever. So then we go on to Berlin's, uh, Oh no, then we get to a Shah's preview, which these Shah's are such a preview. Oh my god. I miss this. This show infuriates me, you know, every year by the end, I'm like,

Starting point is 00:35:17 Fuck these people, I'm screaming and yelling. But they finally really understand what they're doing and they're totally doing it on purpose because the song this year is how low can you go? At least they're owning it. Well I'm glad it wasn't a Mamma Mia too commercial. That's so Persian. Why people be like dancing to Abba, Persons are like what? That's so Persian.

Starting point is 00:35:43 Mamma Mia. Bitch be like, how many times's a version. Mama mia. Bitch, be like, how many times does it go again, Mama mia? Bitch, be like a motherfucking dancer queen, right? Yeah. That's a white girl. So yeah, so then we go over to the suit store. It's like the Gwins for Boys, I guess.

Starting point is 00:36:03 Gwins for Boys. Called Berlins. Berlins, Berlins. And Patricia's that friend who can't just invite you fucking over. You know, can we just have chips and watch TV? Patricia's like, he is the theme. It's gonna cost you $500 and rental fees to go to my father. I don't know. I like the idea of to come to my father. I don't know, I like the idea of getting into tails. I've never done it.

Starting point is 00:36:30 She sees everything, she never blinks. She doesn't. She's like watching right now, somehow. Hi. She sent us cafetans for a live show and I swear to God she put something sharp in there that like stompings. Yeah, I had bad root poisoning. I think I totally, She sent us cafetans for a live show and I swear to God she put something sharp in there. They're like Yeah, I had bad boy's name. I think I totally like she put like something in the fabric like yeah

Starting point is 00:36:58 So she's having the white tails party so everybody got to go get dressed up You know like it's like old people prom. It's like the bachelor basically. It's like old people going to prom So Craig is there first. Craig is trying on tails. And Austin walks in just as Craig is doing this. This is my favorite. It's just so Craig. This is what Craig's doing when Austin walks in. Pfft.

Starting point is 00:37:14 Oh. John. John. John. John. I dropped the Comber Bond. And then here we are with this Ford Bravo Queen. You stuck working in this store for Bravo Stars.

Starting point is 00:37:34 I mean, it's like every show. And this one's like having to explain what tales are. You know what I'm saying? Have you worn tales before? This store tortures gay store clerks. Have you worn tails before? No one invites you anywhere. Ha ha ha! And Austin's like... Shep's like, Why die? He's more formal than Black die. Thanks, glad you're here.

Starting point is 00:38:12 And he's like, Oh, Garsh! Girls get to wear cool... Oh, Garsh! These girls are wearing gargity shirts. So Shep is like, Shep is like, Girls get to wear cool dresses Oh, man. These girls are wearing garstie shirts.

Starting point is 00:38:26 So, shop is like, shop is like, girls get to wear cool dresses. We could look like stormtroopers and star wars. I'm like, I don't seem to remember the stormtroopers being informal wear. It's like down in a cloudy space.

Starting point is 00:38:39 Yeah, it's like the future. And it's such a chef reference, you know. Would sponge bob wear this and be at NOM and it tells him? I was like, oh, I always feel like Ethan from. So then Austin, you know, it's like finals day. Everybody's trying to like get there next season. So Austin comes in with his shit stirring, and he's like, whoa, well, I hear that Ashley,

Starting point is 00:39:02 it's crazy, was going on with Ashley, you like me. And I was telling Thomas, uh, actually, crazy was going on with Ashley. And I was telling Thomas, like, how much is it going to cost you to, like, get rid of this girl? And then I said it to her face. I said it to her face. Like, I was like, how much is it going to cost to get rid of this girl? And then they sew the clip. I started to feel right. It was sort of going into Ramona, actually, that's what I was to feel right. Yeah, it was sort of going into Ramona actually that's

Starting point is 00:39:26 Yeah, let us learn it to feel right I'm just a quest to get this girl out of here. Whoa don't do that Sorry, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I'm very into I'm an indulgent podcaster Now I'm gonna just get stuck into doing that was just getting it man That's what I hope to do man. Is there anything wrong with doing remonins out of Austin? I don't think so. I think all of Austin's lines should be remonin' out. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:51 Whoa, this is crazy. Victoria, do a rock through my window. Is that crazy? Whoa. What? Sorry, sorry, I interrupted you. No, you didn't, actually. It was just getting the remonin' in my head, you know?

Starting point is 00:40:04 It's like, oh my god, I've got it. And you just like pushed me off the bike. No, you get into Ramona and then you like pull it back into a man place. So it's like, whoa, this is crazy. It's like, whoa, this is crazy. So we then we then see a last. Oh, wait, I'm so sorry. So he's like, yeah, I was asking her, like, how are you going to get rid of this girl? Like, what are you are you gonna do and they show the clip of him And he's like so Thomas right in front of Ashley like I love that no one even has no one even pretends to have respect for Ashley It's so funny. So he's like how's how much is gonna take you for you to get rid of this girl and ask you like Which I thought was low. I actually was like, listen.

Starting point is 00:40:46 5,000. 5,000. 5,000. Like she's serious. She's really got a fucking number. Because no one who's kidding would say 5,000. You know what I mean? And that's when I was like, this girl is working.

Starting point is 00:41:00 And I'm suddenly respecting somebody in the series finale or this She marked herself down, okay like 5,000 if it were me I'd be like 20,000 If I'm hoeing myself out, but like if you're gonna send me away off of what will be like listen How much money money get over the next like 10 years? It's got it's got to be more than $5,000. Yeah, of course and they win valuation. Yeah, Whitney who literally profits off of his friends miseries Yeah, and like causes them constantly. It's like 5,000 5,000 how about 50,000 how about you

Starting point is 00:41:42 Very special episode of Ho tank. Yeah, it's like a very special episode of Ho-Tank. Yeah, it's like, I'll offer you $50,000 to get off my show. I want to invest in you, huh? Why not? I want to invest in you. Seriously? What's the matter? I think Beth and me is the Ho-Tank judge. So now it's time to all get ready.

Starting point is 00:42:02 Okay, everyone, settle down. Settle down. It's like between scenes,, get ready. Okay, everyone settle down, settle down. It's like between scenes, I get it. Just about in that one, Chef goes, 50,000, Tarnation. Well, I think it was made fun of Raven. I think he was saying that's what T-Rab would say. So.

Starting point is 00:42:21 Pop that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, There was like a lot of intense visuals at this part. First we saw Pasty Shep torso, which is too much like my torso. So I was like, no, me, I can't look at that. Pasty Shep torso. Yeah, the guys on this show are like, I'm naked. Oh yeah, naked.

Starting point is 00:42:56 We're like, no. Oh, then you see like Austin do the same thing. We're like, no. And then we cut to Craig. Yeah, for Craig. For Craig. Trying to we cut to Craig. Yeah, poor Craig. Poor Craig. Trying to put on his pants. But Craig, you're not Craig's,

Starting point is 00:43:11 such a smart, stupid person. What going on over there? Security. Security. Security. Drunga is at the bar. Security, walk on, walk on. Walk on my. Let me girl show that. That's okay, everything's fine. Drunkers at the bar security, walk on, walk on, walk on.

Starting point is 00:43:25 Love you girls, show that. That's okay, that's all, everything's fine. So Craig is like the smartest, stupid person. He is managed to get a hanger bent to just like, he's like in an old 30s movie, like trying to get out of jail, you know, and they're like finding something to bend to get the keys out of the thing you did, to get a zipper up. I mean, yeah. He was like doing a tap dance routine,

Starting point is 00:43:47 trying to get into his pants. It's a shaw. So then over it. So then over it, Thomas's house. Thomas is like, I need to get dressed. But first, like, give me something stiff, Thomas. Give me something stiff, don't it? You always need something stiff, Ashley.

Starting point is 00:44:06 So disgusting. I love that Ashley's just so over at two, but has to deal with it because she's on the clock. So he's like, yeah, you know, y'all is not some stiff, don't you? And she's like, ah, good job. Good job, Thomas. Good job. Good one.

Starting point is 00:44:24 Good one, Thomas. How do you Good one. Good one, Thomas. How do you start doing its mayor hands and he's like, well, if it weren't for Ashley's persistence, we'd be broken up. She thinks there's a chance that we can make it and I think she has a point. What point does she have? She just wants more money. Shovel Ready Ashley's. This is what I'm promising this great country of all.

Starting point is 00:44:54 Ashley Ready Jobs. So Thomas Ashley's been really mean to Thomas because that's how you get the toys out of the machine. You know You just keep punching it and then like a toy will fall out. And that's how Thomas is. He's like, well, I wanted to apologize. For what Thomas? For what Thomas? What do you want to apologize for Thomas?

Starting point is 00:45:14 What? Look at that hair back. Things. You know, you think of crazy, crazy lipstick. Like, I wanted to do a side-by-side on this ramp of Ashu with Collette Reardon, the Sharia Territory character the woman who's like on too many medication So he's like yeah, I know that looks like silver, but it's really what go She goes oh that's so thoughtful. I'm never gonna take it all.

Starting point is 00:45:46 Oh my God. This is a thing to remember. Because you know that's where he got it. It's like some little things to remember, and bullshit. Here we all been to a mall. I got this from my friend Jared. He ended up getting into some legal trouble.

Starting point is 00:46:07 God, I miss his foot longs. So she's like, I don't know why I wrote this down, but I thought it was so funny. She's like, he's now getting dressed. She's like, okay, I'm just gonna steam my dress. She goes, it's a mobile steamer. I'm like, thanks. She's like, I'm just just so proud of her little noble steamer that she found on Amazon. Well, you know Thomas or Tastik is penis in it. Like you literally have to label things when Thomas is in the room.

Starting point is 00:46:32 Like watch out, it's a noble steamer. Keep your penis out of the steamer. Something Thomas basically, not basically literally admits the whole reason they're together. He's like, I don't want to be old and still alone. So I have this person that I will try and make it work with henceforth. Like, oh, I'm hearing good things about the mobile steamer too. That steamer girl never complained to about a present. That steamer girl never complains about a present. Okay, so she actually is like, this is another shitty gift from Thomas. But I need him tonight. It's a series finale. I'll see some finale. So Thomas, this is special Thomas.

Starting point is 00:47:20 This is special Thomas. It's special. Thomas is this, Thomas. It's special. Thomas is special, Thomas. She's her pizza, so. Oh. So she starts talking about Catherine and everything, and like, oh, Catherine's awful. I don't even know what to say. I probably see your baby mama there.

Starting point is 00:47:38 Mama's your baby mama. Oh. Like, I found every woman in America do this. And you know, like, Thomas could just say, now listen, that's my children's mother, so stop talking about her, this is not going to work if you do that. He could just say that, or he could say, okay, we all just get along. Which is awkward.

Starting point is 00:48:09 Awkward. Thomas, like this show cannot be saying things like that. And then he knows what he's saying too, because they're like, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Not good, no. So then, oh yeah, it's like you're gonna chat with it. If I see my opportunity, I'm gonna jump at it, Thomas.

Starting point is 00:48:28 And then jump at it. Um, by the way, she's dressing exactly like Julia Roberts and Pretty Woman, which is so good. I'm surprised he didn't like, close that little necklace box on her. I'm like, what was that little necklace box on her? I was like, thank you, Thomas. That was so special.

Starting point is 00:48:51 That's like, how goals? Julia Roberts is like the pinnacle, you know? Like she's climbing the Ho-Go ladder, trying to be that ho, you know? It's such an odd. I would never disrespect Roxette enough to have her music play over Ashland. Roxette, it's a goal.

Starting point is 00:49:09 Thank you. Roxette. Anyway, so now we're moving towards the ball here. Catherine's getting dressed and she's like in golden girls. Chelsea shows up dressed like Luan. Did you notice that? Dressed exactly like Luan. You had the stoles, you had the hair.

Starting point is 00:49:25 She's like, would you believe it girls? I left my banjo. Would you believe that girl? I got a mixed soul on my shoulder. Would you believe it girls? I threw it below and he's saying what you in my head it was great. Thank you, thank you all for that. I'm gonna kill you. Do you all see like every dark thing she says is like so sweet and smiling. No one cares for us guys. Don't be on too. So Catherine's like, she knocks and Catherine's like, come in. And Chelsea doesn't come in. And Catherine's like, I forgot it's a hotel room you can.

Starting point is 00:50:03 But also no one hurt you say, come in. And Catherine's like, I forgot it's a hotel room you can. But also no one heard you say, come in. You know what I mean? I said, come in. What? Like the doors open now, and I still can't hear it. Come in. Come in.

Starting point is 00:50:19 Come in. Come in. I never thought a bit about saying, come in, come in. I never thought a bit about saying, come in, it would make me laugh so much. Because it's so true. I was just like, this is the most lines Catherine's had in years, this episode.

Starting point is 00:50:35 She talks so much, you know? It depends. Well, you know, it's true. Patricia, so meanwhile, so they're getting ready. I know people are arriving at the ball. So Patricia shows up with one Miss Georgia Mossbacher, new ambassador to Poland that go into the headlines from a few days ago.

Starting point is 00:50:53 And they're wearing their formal captains. And what I like about Patricia, the details that she goes to, she wore a captain that literally matched the signature cocktail of the ball. I was like, that is some party planning right there. Green for cuffs. I was like, see, this bitch has a sense of humor. That's what I like, you know.

Starting point is 00:51:12 You only see it in the cuffs, really. Yeah. But it's fine. I would say we did not get to see more Georgia at Mossbacher this season. What a monster that woman is. Do you remember Georgia at Mossbacher last year when she went to a dinner party and she's like, I will not stand for Christianity, I'll tell you that before we are even served in a

Starting point is 00:51:31 And then some guy was like damn you crack. I'm like, oh, I will be in bed Salvatown Look at over yourself. She was just named the she was just nominated and I guess confirmed I don't know. I don't know how it works on the same term. But she is now the ambassador to I think Poland, which is hilarious. Yeah, I think I just mentioned that. I know, but no, I didn't think.

Starting point is 00:51:55 I thought you just said she was in the knees. She got a scene with the thing going in my head. It was like no whatever so That's not funny when you're making fun of Polish people and then you totally fuck it up. You're like the dumb one. Oh guys Polish eggs I have Polish in my bloodline so awkward But my grandma Sally I remember one time I was like we're part part Polish, right? She's like, no, but Austrian. Because at that time, at that time, Poland was in Austria. Anyway, a little Polish Austrian humor for you all. Slash grandma, Sally humor. So, anyway, people are arriving, so Daniel Elizabeth the Rive, Thomas the Ash the Rive, Jennifer Snowden shows up. Oh. Wow.

Starting point is 00:52:46 Wow. I was not a fan of that. Jennifer Snowden is a controversial character, because she's one of the southern women. You really can't tell if she's genuine. I think she is. I've always thought she's like, hi, Catherine. I don't have to say, I feel so bad for you. I think Catherine's like she secretly went in and turned state evidence against me.

Starting point is 00:53:07 Whatever. That's what Snowden's do. What's Snowden's doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing?

Starting point is 00:53:15 What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing?

Starting point is 00:53:23 What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's Snowden doing? What's there, she's like, how are you? How are you? Like how's your son? She's like, oh he's good. He's walking and talking his favorite word is booby. He's just the in public. In public, he's saying booby.

Starting point is 00:53:37 I'm like, you're talking to Thomas. You're literally talking to Ashley and Thomas, a woman who was clinging to a human boob. And especially because there are rumors that Thomas is the father. It's like, well, you know, the boobie doesn't fall. I like this. I feel like I'm in that scene in big business where it's like more a Max and it's like, you put a holler. No, it's like a wester and I love it.

Starting point is 00:54:04 Yeah. And then there's a a western, I love it. Yeah. And then there's a plenty of fish app, LOL. OK. So more people are arriving. Naomi and Wilson show up. I like Wilson, by the way. I like Wilson. Cameron and Whitney show up.

Starting point is 00:54:20 So then Whitney goes up to Ashley. It's up with the giant wooden spin to just stir some shit, you know? You got a love that guy. I have to mention a Georgia Masha Masha baker thing. Oh, please she was named and confirmed as we have I know I'm just kidding So she goes out to Patricia and This is this is southern talk that needs to be decoded. Okay. Yeah, so Patricia looks at her glass and she goes, what do you have there, Joel, with that green thing there?

Starting point is 00:54:48 And George, it's like, oh, well, I had them re-glass my drink. So now my drink looks like this. And then Patricia goes, oh, it's more elegant that way, isn't it? Which is the long way of saying, you're a cut fitness. How dare you come onto my TV show and try and make me look like that fucking bitch.

Starting point is 00:55:11 Okay? That is so true. I didn't pick up on that. Oh, Patricia's face. I love that it doesn't even move and I'm still like frozen to my seat. I'm like, this is why I've always loved Patricia, because that she is cold. She could just get you. So, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, well, it's very, you're looking. It's very, Eva Gordner, 1961. I was like surprised she wasn't like,

Starting point is 00:55:45 I am not a Gordner, okay. And said she goes, oh, that's a compliment. That's a compliment, Whitney, that's a compliment. That is a compliment. $5,000. So, okay. Oh, there's a drink. Ronny, go fetch your drink.

Starting point is 00:56:04 My best friend is just coming! Tito's has arrived. That was so kind. Thank you. Thank you so much. So anyway, so when he's like... It becomes like very good old boys, and he's like, goes up to Thomas, and he's like, Squire, Gidee, push. And Thomas says that like that pig laughing

Starting point is 00:56:27 when he goes like this. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:56:35 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:56:43 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Like, weird. Is that what Squires do? I love that he walks in, it's just a first stole. I know what even thinks about it. Whitney's just like, hello. I'm doing a fur patched meaner like a Countess, you know. Damn it. That show never leaves your brain. I'm fucking New York, so I'm telling you.

Starting point is 00:56:56 Thank God. Um, go ahead. Okay. It's all I just say now I'm thinking about the Countess. I'm like, you're glad you would look good in that stole. Oh. Ah, there're still all my looks. So yeah, so more importantly than Whitney showing up in a first-all, is the arrival of JD at a big ol' fur.

Starting point is 00:57:20 He's like, WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH And it just got to like, it's about to fucking explode. Yeah. He has been figuring out ways to use that verb in inventory. Gentrubilib in emostomic. So Elizabeth is just, Elizabeth is there, and she sees him from part and she's just like, oh my god. And then she goes, of course, you wore that fur. Like, this is action ongoing issue that he shows up in this fur and does this like this poor woman

Starting point is 00:58:07 It's probably hers Yeah, but everything he's ever owned has been hers by the way Oh shit Justice for Elizabeth, but you know what you can only stand up for Elizabeth so much because you know she fucked him later It's like right after that. He's like, hey, you know, he's like trying to be all sexy. And she's like, well, maybe if notice, I've lost weight. Well, I'm like, you're hitting on him. Come on. Listen, I don't know if, but I don't know if anyone heard this. It was sort of lost, but when he sees her, he goes,

Starting point is 00:58:46 honestly, a little revealing, but that's okay. I was like, you know what, revealing was when your dick was out from another girl. I mean, I'm not saying that he flashed a girl. I'm just saying metaphorically. He was hitting it. He was hitting it, girls. Yeah, trying know, metaphorically, he doesn't have girls. You know, yeah, trying to get the least.

Starting point is 00:59:07 It's like Southern charm. So like put a sweet thing to say. She's like, yeah, but I asked me. It's like, okay, it's pretty. It's what stress does to you. Yeah. Not to all of us, JD included. I'm on JD's, we're like, what are you talking about?

Starting point is 00:59:27 So now the girls are standing in a circle. They're like, let's get this show on the road. Let's start talking about this rumor. So they're all standing. Oh, the gay. Yeah. So Naomi, it's Cam, it's Wilson. And I'm like, well, there's a rumor. And Cam's like, what? That she's pregnant? She's like, no, other way. She's like, what, there's a rumor. My camera's like, what, that she's pregnant?

Starting point is 00:59:46 She's like, no, other way, she's like, what? She's an ass-score. I was like, how did she figure that out? So I'm going crazy. That's so funny how he words it to, because he's like, no, pregnant now. You are barking at the wrong tree. It is the opposite tree.

Starting point is 00:59:59 Not pregnant? I'm like, unpregnant? I would actually think it's a... Yeah. It's because you saw those billboards today. Get that into your mind! That's why I stopped. So, um, so anyway, so Wilson's family friend, and Tiana Barber heard that she's like a very specific sort of escort.

Starting point is 01:00:21 She's an escort for Polo players. Hello player escort. Very niche service. Most dangerous sport. I sell my vagina, but only the ping pong players. Tell your friends. Tell your ping pong and friends. Maybe she just like hangs out at like an outlet

Starting point is 01:00:38 and just like stands by like the round. Literally an outlet. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, hey, I like your pillow shirt. A follow hooker. She's like not going over her with the like, apricromby hooker. Like, oh, he's fighting.

Starting point is 01:00:52 The dealer's hooker has all the knives. She gets into a knife fight with a Chico's hooker. This is my turf. There's the big girl hooker who's like the witch witch. The witch witch hooker. Then there's just the Claire's block. I just let her just be. Everybody ends up at Claire's.

Starting point is 01:01:13 You know, that's the trick. There's like the food court of hookers. You always end up there. There's like the journeys hooker and you're like, it's like a car. Like that's really low. I literally just went to an outlet, so that's why it's very fresh.

Starting point is 01:01:32 So the boys are talking, boys will be boys. Yeah. The JD Thomas and Whitney are over there, and JD's like, Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, buddy, holly, buddy, holly, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, buddy, holly, buddy, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly,lly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, holly, ho never let it warm that outfit. I was like, but it was like for real, you got to see a little bit what this relationship was, like calling the shots. You can't wear this, you can't wear that. Fuck off, JD.

Starting point is 01:02:13 And with these sets, yeah. I fired up. Kansas City got me fired up. her dad. She available. Ashtray's like 5,000 to the first. My mother says she heard she's available. Good one mother. Your mother's over there. So then Thomas is getting bored. He's like, well, well, well, well, Craig and, and Shep, and all, well, all of them. And the only reason I mention that is because, again, this was like, you had to be really listening for it in the background.

Starting point is 01:02:52 You just hear this. You just hear JD or, ah! Help! What is happening JD? He's having a kidney stone. So then Craig comes in with that girl from drama class who you're like, if we don't get him.

Starting point is 01:03:12 Anakendrick. If we don't get him. You guys know it's true, Want Want. She's like, he's like, if we're really old and like 19 and we don't find any money, we'll do it, right? It's like, Oh, yes, we will! You know, she's that girl.

Starting point is 01:03:32 And I love it. Naomi, when he walks in, Naomi tried to pretend like she cared. Did you see the sort of Naomi that they could, they still cred coming up with the drama class girl and then Naomi goes like this. What? It's like trying really hard to cry if it she can't she's like, I'm going to raise my chin and lower my extensions.

Starting point is 01:03:55 Which is what I would do too, by the way. I love Naomi's inability to feel. I love it so hard. Love it, love it, love it, love it. Because you know her, people are hurting. I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Because you know hurt people are hurting. Love it.

Starting point is 01:04:08 Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

Starting point is 01:04:16 Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

Starting point is 01:04:24 Love it. Love it. Love, I'll be right this week. Oh, he says that's a crack, but so what is it, and Bella just goes, ha ha ha ha. I'm like, what is this? This is a strange winter wonderland for me. So let's see here. Next I have Chelsea and Cameron. Chelsea and Justin. Chelsea, come on.

Starting point is 01:04:38 Oh, Catherine. They betfix now on the ground. Whoa. This is so neat. Chelsea's like, wow, where are those bubbles? Okay. And then Chef goes,

Starting point is 01:04:53 Gorsh, that's like Michael Jackson's monkey. And then like Catherine's like, and he's like, no, Michael Jackson, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. So when Catherine and Chef come in,

Starting point is 01:05:13 everyone starts applauding. I don't know if it's because Catherine was invited or that Chef took a shower. But I mean, they sure stirred up that crowd. He's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Gar-scar-gars, gar-scar-scars,

Starting point is 01:05:30 hey Stormtroopers. Gar-scar-gars, may the gars be with you. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's a trap. So, uh, so they enter.

Starting point is 01:05:44 And Thomas is like, what? Sometimes the ending just like a crazy mood. I think that before this episode was taped, Catherine sat down and watched five seasons of Southern Charming was like, that's who I am. It's like those movies where people don't remember anything for the whole movie. And then they're like, oh my God, my husband beat me this whole time.

Starting point is 01:06:01 You know, like they finally get this memory back. I think she watched it. She's like, oh yeah, that's this memory back. I think she watched it and she's like, oh yeah, that's who I am. Because suddenly she comes in, she's like, hello, hello, it's me there. Hello, you know. Like just trying to fuck with Patricia, basically.

Starting point is 01:06:17 And Thomas is like, well, I do say, who's that tall drink of water? Is that Catherine? Is that, that's, I didn't even recognize her. Lost my train of thought. What was I talking about? What was I talking about? Oh, jerk it off.

Starting point is 01:06:31 Isn't that fun? You were talking about your hand being green, Tom asked. You were talking about your hand being green, Tom asked. So Patricia's like, I've had so many people tell me the Catherine is redeeming herself. I want to see for myself. I don't think of it as a test, but... First, we'll see what she does with the cocktail and the cocktail dress, George, eh?

Starting point is 01:07:06 So then they have like, I'm not going to say hi off. Yeah. And captain's like, I think she thinks this is a test. You know, which is so funny. Right, which is this? So she's like, I don't want to say hi to her. I'm terrified. I'll do it later.

Starting point is 01:07:21 But she's like, well, sitting. I'm not going to Simmering tensions And we got to see Peyton Peyton made an appearance. She's like, hey, I'm here. They won't want to yell at me. You know, I want to Call me anything crazy Peyton like when you come when you open his avatar You can't like come back as the avatar sequel. No one gets a fuck anymore. You know what I mean? Poor Peyton. I watched the first one in IMAX, never going again.

Starting point is 01:07:50 Yeah. Loved it the first time though. Yeah. So Austin goes up to Ashley. He's like, he's like, oh, you got gloves on. I mean, this is like, Cruella Deville in every sense of the word. I was like, she's literally not wearing black and white. She's like, I mean, I appreciate that.

Starting point is 01:08:06 Like, she has the spirit of Curella Deville, but like. But he came to play. Like, he came to play. He was. He really did. He did, but I had some issues with him honestly, but we'll get to it. We'll get to it.

Starting point is 01:08:17 I had some issues. I don't think that he gets Oscar. Well, when he says, you're in Curella Deville, every sense of the word. Like, in every sense of the word. Oh. And she goes, is that a nice thing to say? Is that a nice thing? Is that a nice thing to say?

Starting point is 01:08:32 And he's like, he just walks off, because like, how do you even answer that? So, then Cameron comes over and she's like, I have jets 13 people today. Have a cheer day. But she's like, everybody in here on the have a seat, you know? So, she's like, everybody in here honey, have a seat, you know.

Starting point is 01:08:45 So she's like, how did you get thin so fast? And Cameron's like, breath feeding, your son. So thank you. And Patricia's like, sounds awful to me. It sounds worse than a root canal. Michael did it, witnessing childhood. Does he look happy to you? We're in the bell, Michael. He's like, oh, does someone need some poach shrimp Whitney's in Taya Tauhan. Does he look happy to you?

Starting point is 01:09:05 We're in the bell, Michael. He's like, oh, does someone need some post-trip in Garlic Sauce? No. Oh, of course, and Gorshuffle. So, there we have... Oh, no, no, no, you guys. This is one of those scenes.

Starting point is 01:09:19 It's like, let's spend an hour at a party. And then I just keep typing words down, but I don't understand right now. So now we have Snowden. She goes up to Elizabeth and they're talking about, how's everything going with your relationship? And she goes, oh, no. And we're going to this.

Starting point is 01:09:35 How are you going? How are you in JD? And so, it's like, you know, Elizabeth is like, well, it's not our relationship ending. I like to say it's just our relationship transforming into something different. It's like, yes, to you being the person just setting up checks every month, yes. And she's like, wait, so someone's like, well, you know, next up boyfriend. And Elizabeth goes, well, I got three little boys.

Starting point is 01:09:59 They're like, mommy, so like, I think I'm good. Who's the saddest moment? So like I think I'm good It was the saddest moment It was Beth Justice hashtag justice for Elizabeth. Yeah, poor thing Hashtag justice for kids that's a very long hashtag, but I think we can make it work. Yeah hashtag for Elizabeth So Patricia to Austin. She's like, be in now how to sit down. Which is such a fucking... I mean, she means like, can you, do you know how to sit down and tails?

Starting point is 01:10:31 But that's such a Patricia question. I fucking love it. Do you know how to sit down? Well, considering that there are many people on this show that need to take a seat, I think it's a pile of questions. So let's see here. They all start taking seats and Danielle. Danielle's like, who did Craig bring? I've literally never seen her in my entire life.

Starting point is 01:10:54 I was like, who are you? Why don't they let you on more than five seconds of show? She brings so much. But you're my Danny. I love Danny, yeah. I love Danny. I just never on. It's like this whole thing goes and she's like, every day, every day.

Starting point is 01:11:08 I'm like, oh my God. She's great. She shows up. She laughs when he needed to laugh. She's shady when he needed to be shady. She falls down. You have to fall down when he needed to fall down. No, I love Danny.

Starting point is 01:11:19 I love him. So chef is like, Catherine darling. I do declare this is your seed. Managers are so new. So, she's like, well, my lips, oh, so she's talking about gloves, because it's like hard to put on the gloves or whatever. And she's like, putting on my lips. It goes around them, because I was afraid I was going to get it on my gloves.

Starting point is 01:11:41 Her gloves look like she'd been in a sandbox. Yeah. She's like, so the food arrives and Shep gets really excited. He's like, chicken, bam! Oh, gosh, chicken. Oh, I was hoping chicken. And then it was chicken. Then the producer was like, Cameron, he's only made three grown men cry today

Starting point is 01:12:06 Are you gonna do anything else to come back back season? She's like oh show my husband Not for a fuck I mean, I love that that guy's like no I mean, I love that guy's like, no. Nope, nope, not gonna do it. It's smart. So that Patricia is with her friend Caroline, who's sort of like a Heather DeBro type, you know, and they're just like looking at Catherine like, hmm, you know.

Starting point is 01:12:34 And so it's like getting very awkward. The tension is building amongst all of the red head. And me want- She's the one over there in a teara. Mm-hmm. And while they're like having the stare down, there's like another stare down, because Bella goes off to like get her coat

Starting point is 01:12:49 because she's cold. And Craig starts looking at Naomi's like, oh, she's gorgeous tonight. Like the most perfect pillowcase of all the land. And she's already stuffed. Ha-ha-ha. So the girlfriend. Bella. all the land and she's already stuffed. Ha ha ha. So the girlfriend, Bella.

Starting point is 01:13:09 Bella. So Bella, the drama do a fast girl. She's like, Craig, are you gonna eat? Craig, she's like chopping up his food room, which is obviously the woman he's gonna end up with. Like, that's really what Craig needs. He's like a spill and she's a towel. They just go together, you know?

Starting point is 01:13:26 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So he cuts up all of his food and then is like, I'll go get my own food now. I guess I'll have to go get her own. He's like, Naomi's hot. I'm like, you man her pigs on me so. He's just using his food. He just cut up your food.

Starting point is 01:13:37 He just scoop me up. He's like, whoosh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's perfect. He's like, finally this archaic device comes in handy. Oh, get it. He's like Sean, right? Sean.

Starting point is 01:13:50 Oh, I spilled it on my lap again, Sean. You two have, and then put it in. Ah. Ah. All right. The gigantic airplane is coming into the hangar. Oh, wait, let's try again. So I'm flying here. So I'm flying.

Starting point is 01:14:10 So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying.

Starting point is 01:14:18 So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. So I'm flying. People here listening to us are probably sick. Let's face it.

Starting point is 01:14:28 So Catherine, you know the worst thing is when you don't say hi to someone that you've dated and you broke up, but let me, which is basically like Patricia and Catherine. Because she's like, she's staring at me by the way. She's staring at me. I feel her's staring at me. She's staring at me. And you're like you're being paranoid. And then it comes to Patricia and she's like, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:52 She Patricia is that person in the horror movie when you're washing your face and the path of me go like, like, ah, you go down like this and you come back up and it's like, ah, Patricia. Then she's instantly gone again, but she's always there with me knows. Mom, mother, Reno.

Starting point is 01:15:14 Mother, mother, mother, washing my face. Reno, you told me to wash my face. Oh my god, Renobs shirt in the house, by the way. Great work, Read and Obstruct. So Catherine's like, I have to go over there and think of her inviting me to this amazing party in this Mary-Ock conference room with four rented tables. Oh, it's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, Well, remember when Cooper was like, I'm having the ball, the founders ball.

Starting point is 01:15:49 And only a man and a woman partner together shall come to this ball. I think Wilson was a good upgrade on the game for on to. Yeah. Wilson also had the line of the night, which we'll get to. So Ashley, so I have next Ashley and Snowden talking, because now Ashley is finding an ally and Snowden, and they're talking about Catherine. Okay.

Starting point is 01:16:10 Did I skip over anything? No, no, I didn't know where I was. We always have to check. When I know for all is, you know, when I don't like the pages, I'll just keep doing the same scene over, and I'll never know that I'm doing it, you know, you know how it goes.

Starting point is 01:16:21 So we were getting some interesting stuff here, because we learned that like, Catherine and Snowden are not in contact at all whatsoever and Ashley is saying, but Snowden is saying, oh, but you're going to be friends with Catherine because she's like the mother of his children and that's important and Ashley is like, well, I think I burned that bridge a little bit. I'm like, yes. So the way to put it too, you burned that bridge, but I got another bridge.

Starting point is 01:16:44 Yeah. I'm not checking my text. I took a screenshot of a Snowden tweet that I'm trying to put it to you burn that bridge, but I got another bridge. Yeah I'm not checking my text I took a screenshot of a Snowden tweet that I'm trying to Okay, well you pull that so So Kath so me it was we here we learn the reason why Catherine right now really hates note which we learned a little bit at a reunion It was that basically snow and was sent set stuff at a deposition that Catherine felt was alive and so Catherine hates snowed and was sent, set stuff at a deposition that Katharine felt was alive. And so Katharine hates snowed in now, et cetera. So snowed in and you got the, yes, I pulled it up everybody, watch out. Okay, here's the story.

Starting point is 01:17:12 I have it in truth. I thought this because this is evidence, what we're reading right now, this scene, I was like, ooh, you better pay attention girls, some evidence for later. Because what basically happens here, like you said, she's like, oh, Are you gonna be friends with Catherine and she's like? No Catherine and then actually said some really nasty things. She just starts really nastily talking about snowden or about

Starting point is 01:17:36 Catherine and Snowden's like She's saying well because as she goes because ashi decides to go off and she's like, Oh, she's so delusional. You know what she says? She says, I don't think about you. I don't talk about you. You know what I want to say? Every night you go to bed and you lay your head on your pillow and you think about how Ashley Jacobs is winning.

Starting point is 01:17:56 The most hilarious. The most hilarious delusion of all time. Yeah, so good. So, you're literally quoting Charlie Sheep. Yeah, I times. Yeah, so good. So you're literally quoting Charlie Sheet. Yeah, I mean, this is so good. And I understand we're all booing, but we also have to appreciate how utterly amazing television this is.

Starting point is 01:18:13 It is so good. After Jacobs is winning. So Snowden is like, oh, cracking up. OK, so this is her treat, because people, of course, went immediately online last week, just after seeing the preview and we're like Says Newton replied to Jen Cox. Hello, well, she's like Damn it other picture. She's like, yeah, I mean here's a theme the producer status I mean it was a sign seating they always are

Starting point is 01:18:42 Next to each other and me in the middle of her entomics on purpose. I'm like, having not filmed those season and because I'm a trusting type person, I didn't know, but should have known some crap like this was gonna happen. Ashi from my recollection didn't say anything nasty about Catherine, nothing.

Starting point is 01:19:00 And I remember saying something like she will always be their mom and therefore important. And for my memory, Ashi agreed. And I should also state that she will always be their mom and therefore important and from my memory Ashley agreed and I should also state that that night was the very first time I've ever met Ashley and I've seen her like two-time Sense anyway, that's all the info I have you fucking liar That is my point That is my point and you were fucking caught by the camera snowden and I will always stand up for Jennifer Snowden because I think she's nice and like trampled on easily.

Starting point is 01:19:26 If you've given birth to, even if it's in a rumor, even if you're in a rumor giving birth to a Thomas baby, I will always support you because that's gotta be her. Here's the, here's the action style. Believe it or not, there's a reason why I actually have a soft place for Snowden because she's her just came on this show. And then Thomas went

Starting point is 01:19:45 after her and tried to destroy her and he's done it with like so many women and I don't know I kind of feel like well this stuff with the deposition is real shady but I also feel like I feel like I want to like give a not a voice but like at least like under like not just blindly listen to what Thomas Ravennell says about some of you know I'm just saying yeah yeah, it's sort of a soft place for him. Yeah, like Ashley. Oh my God, who were going to get so past the bathroom? Oh my God, I'm just going to get so past the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:20:11 Stupid fall scene. This is really, this is like we're forebinding as a room here. Hey guys. Okay, we all feel like, listen, it's a podcast about different points of view. Oh, so then they cut to abortion billboards. You know, we're there for everything. So then it cuts to, then it cuts to abortion billboards. You know, we're there for everything. So then it cuts to, then it cuts to Catherine's table.

Starting point is 01:20:27 And Catherine is obviously still being like the Catherine Rial love, like they hear to kick your ass. Yeah. So she's like, have you all heard the rumor? Like it's still really quiet talking, but it's like, head rolling. And also, have you heard the rumor?

Starting point is 01:20:41 Ashley is an escort, not being mean, just rowing it out there So they're all talking about it. I was like stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it. I'm like shut up I shut up you great group your Chelsea. Yeah, shut great. Great. And Chelsea is cracking up. She's like I was you my name now She's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:21:07 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:21:15 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Starting point is 01:21:23 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You know what, and squirt, not. So they all meet me while she's just still pissed like, right, she's just over there, she's like, can I just point out that Craig's age didn't even know to take her fucking gloves off at dinner. Which, by the way, is actually false because earlier the episode, you see that she has her gloves on.

Starting point is 01:21:39 So, Naomi's just gonna be such a bitch. I still support it. And they were just at the table when Captain, Naomi's like, are you gonna take off your gloves? gloves captain's like I don't know what to do with glizz I'm sick will you take them off for dinner like I just learned that she slammed this other girl I only on bridal bitterness is just so great yeah like just anger about everything like oh she's using a spoon with a left hand

Starting point is 01:21:58 delicious so Snowden and Thomas so Snowden is over there you know stirring or whatever she's talking. She's talking to all males. Yeah. How she's saying that things are going well with her and countering. And then Austin just barges in. Austin just walks up. Now, you know, I actually am not usually the one to point this stuff out.

Starting point is 01:22:19 This is more what you do, but even I noticed it. He's sitting there doing this with his nose a million times. He really is. I'm the drug patrol That's what it really I'm like who holding in here who holding and I was like, huh, you know There's a there's a rumor going on around you. There's a rumor and someone's like oh that room Austin stop stop He's like this rumor and then you know Tom's like, oh, rumours, that's rumours about that. Steamurs, a mobile steamer, I don't know. But basically, Austin was being super messy. He got up there. And he was doing it like this.

Starting point is 01:22:53 He's like, what? It's like, what are you doing to swim? Who's wrong? He's like, he wasn't coming up to be like, listen, dude, just so you know, there's a rumor and you should know about it. He was like, hey, guess what I heard? David. I mean, look, we all know that women can be nasty.

Starting point is 01:23:15 It's like women, right? If I heard your nasty woman, it's an escort. Yeah, gross. So Thomas is like, well, maybe she lacks diplomacy, but that's certainly not true. And then Snowden's like, she moves here to be with Thomas. That is not fair. Well, I mean, you pay for the U-Haul that moves your shit

Starting point is 01:23:36 across the country, too. I don't know how that's an argument. She goes, that is a very incendiary log to drop on someone. I just like the idea of an incendiary log. It's like, that's a flaming log of lures. Thomas is like, sorry, that was mad. No, I'm in the room, or Thomas. OK.

Starting point is 01:23:54 So we cut to commercial, and it's Andy going. The rock is here. Every night, him cutting in. OK. So Ashley, I'm cutting in. Okay. So Ashley, let's not- At this point, Ashley is joined in. Her lipstick is now all over her cheeks. She's like, huh?

Starting point is 01:24:12 Do you think I'm a nurse? Do you think I'm a nurse? How would I know? I've never seen you do anything other than spend his money. So yeah, big talk from someone spending all his fucking parents money on his stupid bear that he didn't even make At least she's working We are we are so salty tonight. We are fired up. We really are true, but you know, it's like

Starting point is 01:24:36 No, but here's what bothered me so he says all I've done it all seen is you spend all of his money and soon like No, that's insulting and also like, why am I being insulting? And I'm like, please don't let me take Ashley's side on this because Austin is being fully messy but he's not owning it, you know, oh, baby. Oh, yeah, I was like, what did I do? What did I do? What did I do?

Starting point is 01:24:58 She said Ashley is terrifying because she makes no sense because Snowden goes, that is really rude and she goes, I agree. I agree with Snowden. I agree. I agree. Like, yeah, I was about to be in the whole you said. So someone's like, you just accused her of being a hooker and also goes, he's like, no, I did not. I was talking to Thomas and y'all just walked over here. I'm like, you literally walked up and interrupted their conversation. Yes. I just hate. Oh, it made me.

Starting point is 01:25:29 Oh, that. It's like Lisa Rinne is all over this episode. It's like, Oh, it and a hustler, you know? Like two different characters. I just got me so fired up. I got so mad at Austin during that. Doesn't it feel good? I love hating the men on this side.

Starting point is 01:25:44 Oh, god, I would have missed it. So then Snowden, OK, now there's I got so mad at Austin during that. Doesn't it feel good? I love hating the man on this side. Jesus. So then Snowden, okay, now there's a lot of controversy on the internet about this too. It's I don't really get because Snowden goes, we can have Austin, what if someone said that about your sister? What did she say?

Starting point is 01:25:59 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. She actually said, I'd love for someone to say that about your sister. Which, so, which is like. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

Starting point is 01:26:09 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

Starting point is 01:26:17 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, what if someone said about your sister? He's like, oh, oh, Jennifer, but you're goddamn John.

Starting point is 01:26:25 That's like, oh. Thomas is explaining too small tales suit down. And he got us. I haven't had a sit ban. Damn. Yeah, so Ashley, then Ashley comes to bring us some comic relief. And she's like, you know what, Austin?

Starting point is 01:26:40 You know what, Austin? Here. And she pulls, like, she's got like a tiny you know one of those tiny little purses she's like here Austin you know what this and he's like whoa it's like a blockbuster card oh he goes ashi don't come at me don't come at me I'm like you started it so you know what this is Austin? June what this says? This is a nursing card Austin, okay?

Starting point is 01:27:09 Do you see what it says? It says California Austin. It says California. Do you know what it needs to say? It needs to say South Carolina Austin. South Carolina. No one knows what this bitch is talking about, okay? Patricia's just at the other table.

Starting point is 01:27:26 She just looks over and she goes, Huh. That's interesting. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Tom is Ashley Jennifer Snowden. So again, Tom is just lovely. He just loves when these women go out each other. They just love the chaos, right?

Starting point is 01:27:44 And he just goes, well, it's a very emotional nah. Well, the whole thing about what she's saying is, I can't work right now because my nursing license is in California and I have to get one for self. But you would never know that from this. Like if I didn't have the internet, I'd be like, why is this bitch throwing her driver's license in someone's picture?

Starting point is 01:28:04 It's like the craziest thing. But then Austin goes, good. I don't know why you can't talk about it like a human, which is like, you literally like came over, called her a hooker, you may go crazy, and she's already a crazy person, you may go crazy. And then you're like, I don't know why you can't just talk to me like a human.

Starting point is 01:28:22 I like things. I like things. I like things. I like things all stand. They're all crazy. They're all crazy. How about that? Fucking funny. And also hilarious.

Starting point is 01:28:34 And he says, why can't you talk about it like a human? She goes, it's a process. It's a process, Austin. It's a process. So crazy. So then Thomas goes, uh, actually, why aren't you standing up for me, Thomas? And he's like,

Starting point is 01:28:49 Well, can't you just be above it? I'm like, he's been pregnant at, like, literally 80% of this room. This is the man who, like, when they said, by the way, like, uh, Ashley, like, it can't be in the same house with Catherine. He, like, snarls and foams the mouth. And now he's telling Ash to be above it. So anyway, so then like it cuts to Wilson, who has my favorite line of the night, he just goes, well, you know, it's a party that's not going well in your

Starting point is 01:29:13 favorite, everyone's talking about how you're a hooker. Which is very true. And we've all been there. Yeah. And then Austin liked a little bitch he is, runs over to his friends and he's like, oh, she brought my sister into it, you guys, my sister. Because he has a sister that passed away, which is very sad. And he's trying to turn everybody.

Starting point is 01:29:35 I was even thinking that. She brought my sister into it. I was like, you just go through her hair. Okay. So then Ashley's like, I can't believe you didn't have my, that's right, right? People are mumbling, is that correct? Okay.

Starting point is 01:29:48 So anyway, so Ashley, I'll make up some shit in my head. So now Ashley's, so now like that flare up has settled down. So now Ashley's now, she's not with Craig and she's trying to do damage control over this weird thing that she said last week where she was like, it's too bad you're not older because if I ever broke up with Thomas,

Starting point is 01:30:04 I would do you this weird thing. And then she said to the chef. And then she said it to like, Oh yeah, because she told us. Correct. Remember? She's like, oh, I don't want you to think I'm attacking you Craig. Do you think I'm attacking you? Like I'm trying to have sex with you? I was just trying to stroke your ego. Obviously. Remember when I jokingly said I would bone you But you don't have enough money, but if you do get money call me and I was joking just trying to play her you go You take like this is it Etc

Starting point is 01:30:34 And he's like yeah, but you said it to chef to the producer to the you know to the to the guy passing out Samples and the And she's like yeah, but I also said it to Chef's dad and my meal man. And you know, the time, I'm like, it's none of this is making it better. Okay, I don't want to be. Meanwhile Austin's still on his victim.

Starting point is 01:30:56 He just goes up to Chelsea. He's like, I was just attacked. And I was just trying to give the facts. And what it was. Austin. Man up. Okay. I was attacked. And then he goes, I was accused trying to give the facts. And what it was. Aw, man. Up. OK. Look, I was attacked. And then he goes, I was accused of calling someone up.

Starting point is 01:31:13 Chelsea's like, is it a movie? How many syllables? Is it a song? It's like I was accused of calling someone a hooker. I would never. and she says, well, we all just did it our table, but other than that That's why I Chelsea she basically kind of just called awesome and all this shit in one simple line But anyway, so so now Ashley Ashley is actually starting to work her way up. Like her water buffalo hair is like ready to like metaphorically explode. She's like, she's starting to get angry and angry, so she's starting to craig and she's

Starting point is 01:31:55 like, I mean, obviously I'm not interested in you craig. I'm not Catherine. I don't break up with Tom with the fuck every one of his friends And then Craig's like well you just spend his money and then you said you they I'm like all you do like spend his money. I'm like you lived off Naomi for how many years like who about that house come on And as she goes I see what you're spinning. He's like, oh, actually, I can't work on spinning right now. It's not this archaic device on my hands. So Patricia leaves. Patricia's like, what's the deal with Catherine?

Starting point is 01:32:37 And by the day, I don't get so much as a hello, thank you, or a bow down kiss on my bow hole, or a little behind my yellow. I've yet to be thanked or acknowledged, and I have to sit here and watch her and shed, cut a nasty rug on the dance floor over there. Yeah. So she's working her way up to say hi, and thank you to Patricia.

Starting point is 01:33:03 And she's like, needs a little bit of pep talk. So, she's like, Gars, just be very contrite and be very complimentary. And say, Gars, this is a lot better than two years ago, right? Gars, Gars. How rude. This is the best better part of me through two years ago. That'll win her over.

Starting point is 01:33:21 Okay, so Catherine comes over. This is Catherine. And Patricia does not make it easy. Okay. I'll be Patricia. Oh, but you're gonna be on that side. Okay, so Catherine comes over. This is Catherine. And Patricia does not make it easy. Okay, I'll be Patricia over here, be on that side. Okay, I'll be Patricia. Where are you going? Are you going to play? No.

Starting point is 01:33:33 No. No. No. No. Those hands, those hands flared out. No. No. No.

Starting point is 01:33:43 No. No. No. No. No. But... Hi, hi, thank you so happy. I'm so happy. Poor thing. Poor thing can't even move in that toothpaste too. And Patricia is just like, she has a move this whole time. She's staring. Perched.

Starting point is 01:34:24 Like, go on, say it. I just wanted to say thank you so much for having me. And it's like being hard with me. And it's been hard with me. If you're a victim of the lane... Was it pretty? Do you breastfeed? You're... You're amazing. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you. Thank you. And it works.

Starting point is 01:35:06 Yeah. It's like, you just have to find a key to people and then open it, you know. Thank you. I've never seen Catherine Rieso. Lovely. Look how long she stood up. It's amazing, really. I wait, but then there was like this weird moment of like, thank you.

Starting point is 01:35:19 And then it's like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going how long she stood up. It's amazing, really. Oh wait, but then there was this weird moment of like, thank you, and then it's like, well, because Gassi, oh yes.

Starting point is 01:35:33 Oh yes. Oh yes. Thank you. I got my gloves for this. Do I take off my gloves? House Gwans. Look at this. Do you think that's my clothes? House Queens. I have a job. Queens?

Starting point is 01:35:57 Well, you like clothes. I remember you always like clothes, and you look very nice tonight. And then Snowden's like, oh my god, I'm gonna sit down here too. And then's like, whoa, that was great. Great, thanks for that. My pleasure, my pleasure, my pleasure. Thank you, bitch. Thank you, bitch.

Starting point is 01:36:24 Snowden arrives and Kathryn just turns into the best friends. Because I'm their best friends. Yeah. Sometimes you just need to say, thanks, bitch. Yeah, you're more powerful than me, and you're very rich. She's everyone's very impressed. And you know what?

Starting point is 01:36:35 She just said, Kathryn said, look, I googled White Ty, but she was like, Googling, OK, I appreciate that. She's like, I'm pleasantly surprised. I find her gracious, charming, and I'm impressed with googling, okay, I appreciate that. She's like, I'm pleasantly surprised. I find her gracious, charming, and I'm impressed with her demeanor. I just feel liking to her. It's genuine. I mean, Catherine's so cute.

Starting point is 01:36:56 And she gets so excited in the way that only Catherine camps. She goes back over this chef and she's like, oh my god, I just talked to Patricia. And it was like really amazing. And then I was telling her how I googled stuff. It's like, oh my God, I just talked to Patricia and it was like really amazing and then I was telling her how I googled stuff. It's like really good. Really good.

Starting point is 01:37:10 She was like, I googled and you have to show your deck a little tape. Take a look. Take a look. And chef is like, gosh, this is a special moment. But gosh, I want a character so badly. Take a look at that. Take a look at that.

Starting point is 01:37:23 Take a look at that. And he even almost has Gars in it to call it gosh Baby steps and he's like gosh you don't have one person in this gosh darn Hyperion Hall who has anything against you then it like cussed the ash are coming on the shadows like There's fifteen more minutes left in this episode bitch like, there's 15 more minutes left in this episode, bitch. But before that. Catherine tells Austin Chelsea, oh, yeah. So basically, she, what, I don't even know what I said here.

Starting point is 01:37:57 Take it over, take the wheel. I mean, what you were trying, basic cat thing goes over. Everyone was like, yeah, it was good. And she looks really beautiful close up. And that's like good work. So, oh, yeah, it was good. And she looks really beautiful close up. That's a good work. So, um, she says, she says, so, Craig co,

Starting point is 01:38:08 yeah, so we have like a little Craig interlude before we get to the main event. So here, I'll be Craig, you be Naomi. Um. Woo! Uh. What? Can I talk for you for a second? Talk Craig. Hey everybody, it's time for the vagina monologue.

Starting point is 01:38:36 I feel like that was hurtful and I'm actually trying to be honest with you because I'm cracking out with some things? Well, so like what's going on? OK, so I just want to apologize for some of the things I did in our relationship because I did things in a relationship that I should apologize for. And I just want to give you the closure because I have a lot of character and fitness, and I just want you to have that closure, now me.

Starting point is 01:39:10 Mm. You're not a genuine person, so fuck off, pillow man. Yeah. Fuck off. Fuck off. And then she tells us, I would have died to hear those things from Craig, until right now when I didn't wanna hear hear those things from Craig what the fuck?

Starting point is 01:39:29 Before I go can you time my shoe, please? Okay, all right, thanks That's so they're really yeah, she's like okay, I'm gonna wait for the time. Hold on hold on Mommy loves you have a good day. Thanks and fuck off. Okay So cute and we didn't get to sit down either. I love that there's only so many rental chairs It's like that, you know, it's like physical chairs where everybody loses a chair No one can sit down to apologize on this show. It's so good.

Starting point is 01:40:06 He's just like, well, I hope you're, I, whatever. I'm not so hot. It was like so sweet watching him go away. Like he's like, oh, but it's also like, it's so great watching. Don't be like, fuck you. Now you tell me, you're at a party.

Starting point is 01:40:21 No. Yeah. So outside, okay, so cancel that. Now here we go. I'm getting party. Yeah. So outside. OK, so Councilor. Now here we go. I'm going to go. It's everyone ready. It's everyone ready. We're finally in the final act, everybody.

Starting point is 01:40:34 It's about to get real. It's about to get real in Kansas City. All right. It's about to get real. You know how when you get in a fender bender, even if it's your fault, and it is always my fault. You're going to put that on record right now. You're never supposed to get out of the car and say, I'm so sorry, that was my fault because you will get sued and lose your livelihood. Okay. That's the scene. All right. It's the moment we've

Starting point is 01:41:00 been waiting for for months and months. Catherine goes outside to smoke a cigarette on the bench. Now, this bench area has been a lot of activity over the years, with mainly Catherine, usually with Landon. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Starting point is 01:41:20 Oh! I swear to God! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I swear to God. Ditch. It's like, whoa. No other show on Bravo elicits the sort of anger that Southern term does. I swear to God. Really?

Starting point is 01:41:31 And I swear to God. A week-cover orange county, too. Yeah. That's. Okay, so yeah, Catherine, thank you. I keep my gloves on. Do I not keep my gloves on this? I get this one.

Starting point is 01:41:42 I don't give a fuck. I just won this party. You know? So she goes out there and asks me, is that? Under a side, plus a bead, you know? She's like so, like. So she comes. Can I talk to you, can I talk to you for a second? God bless you.

Starting point is 01:41:59 Can I talk to you? I didn't want to talk upstairs in front of everyone because it gets me so charged with this hair, it's like zap Stab it clean. Oh So, Catherine's like I actually I would like to talk right now arm because I've resolved my issues with everyone And I want to know where you're coming from because I don't know where you're coming from So Ash is like she has has like, her prepared speech, but unfortunately her speech is only one line,

Starting point is 01:42:27 and this is her only line, and then she goes off the rail. She's like, I'd like to begin by apologizing to you, and the conversation in Hilton had got heated, and I'd like to apologize for my part in it. She is, she's got like baby mayor hands. So Catherine's like, so Catherine's basically like, well listen, I have no idea where your head's at. Like one minute you say you respect me and another you say a terrible person, a mother. Don't deflect.

Starting point is 01:43:02 Don't deflect. Don't deflect. Catherine, do not deflect. It's like she went from nice to like, to that. She didn't even like her arrest. She didn't even do like a tamer level progression of anger and craziness.

Starting point is 01:43:14 She just went from like all that Catherine's I was like, you know what, you really cross the line. Which is what Ashley is apologizing for. She is the air to apologize for crossing the line. And the moment Catherine says it, she's like, don't deflect. Don't deflect don't deflect Yeah, she went from like a peggy tannis two of like Vicky gumbels Don't deflect who you are okay in Catherine saying

Starting point is 01:43:40 You am I deflecting like you are someone. he's kid for taking away from you I'm like whoa don't forget that Don't forget your kids were taken away from you don't forget that Which has really nothing to do with what they're talking about and she's doing the thing that she just apologized for like a breath ago I think after ink as um, I don't think I could forget that. And she goes, because I'm their mother. Calm down, calm down, whoa, calm down,

Starting point is 01:44:12 gather and bravo, bravo, everybody watching this. And Catherine's literally like, well, Ashley's the type of person who's going to poke you. And poke you, and be like, you had your kid take away from me, you're an unfit mother, you're be like, you know like you had your kids taking away from me You're an unfit mother. You're often like you know what shut the fuck up. Whoa calm down. Why can we talk like you? Only one person can do that and that's kind of more Those really so my kids were taking away from me. Whoa

Starting point is 01:44:42 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! Put the mat down, put the mat down, put it down. So then, Catherine's like, shut the fuck up. And actually, there she is. There she is. Like, what, what, you're just sort of saying things now in a way that sounds like you made a point. But it's like, I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts.

Starting point is 01:45:06 I will have that peanut. Peanut. Peanut. Peanut Chelsea. Cash is, they're called cashes. Oh, look, it's the Ashios. Catherine's like, there she is. So, Catherine's like, well, you're a gold digger

Starting point is 01:45:29 and nobody even likes you, including your boyfriend. Sorry. And Ashley has a response that is so diluted, but it's so hilariously cocky that it's honestly like one of those like classic moments She's like well guess what girlfriend. I'm not galing anywhere. I'm not going anywhere girlfriend I'm not going anywhere. So get used to this Get used to this

Starting point is 01:46:04 Going anywhere Keggy's death Keggy's death You're not going anywhere Gaggy's death And it's so funny And she goes Uh-uh And captain's like, whatever your boyfriend calls me and complains about you And then we fuck sometimes Like you know

Starting point is 01:46:22 And asks he's like, um, I'm the best thing to ever happen in, and he's the best thing to ever happen to me, so whatever, tell me. And he goes, oh really? Then why is he depressed? Why is he so miserable? Her voice is always like this big, but her face is like, I also, I love when Catherine can't commit to standing up,

Starting point is 01:46:42 social go like this. She's like, so why is he miserable? Literally came out, she's like, no, the seat is so comfortable. I got it. So, she's like, well why is he miserable? And asks, she's like, how do you know that? How do you know that? And she's like, well because we talked about you.

Starting point is 01:47:00 And she's like, ah, about me. She's like, well, you should see his face when you text him. He's so stressed. And Catherine just goes, you're boring me. You're boring me. You're boring, man. You're boring me. I was like, please break out your strange British accent.

Starting point is 01:47:18 Please do it. I love what she does that. I mean, the only way she could have been more powerful in this moment is if is an Amazon driver, actually came up and dropped a fresh Amazon Prime box at her feet. You know? Yeah. Like, she's like recharging. So Ashley's now on the defense. He can't stand you after you hear this all the time. Oh my god, she's texting me Chelsea. She's texting me Chelsea. And Ashley's like, oh, then she's like, you're kind of freaking out right now.

Starting point is 01:47:50 So I'm not really sure how to deal with this. And she goes, be careful, Catherine, because I know a lot of information, Catherine. She literally just read something in Wikipedia. She's like, I know something about pistachios now. So Catherine's like, are you threatening me? And Ash is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I am. I am. Are you used to this? Because it's threatening you right now. This? It's threatening you. I know information. Guess what? 5, 5, 5, 1, 2, 1, 2. That's information. Guess what? 555-1212. That's information, and I know it.

Starting point is 01:48:26 For 111. 855-Coljesus. You know what? Marriage abroad. I'm going anywhere! Get used to this! So Catherine, like at this point, there's no reasoning with either one of them

Starting point is 01:48:42 because Catherine's bored, and her cigarette's almost out. And Ashley's just throwing her driver's license around and everything. She's saying anything. So she's like, honestly, you are psychotic. So I guess just back the fuck up and realize, my place and respect it.

Starting point is 01:48:58 She goes, well, she goes, listen, back the fuck up, realize my place, respect it, and shut the fuck up. And I was like, yes! Yes! Well, guess what? I got the life that you want, and now you're a threat, my. So, deal with that! So she gets up, because she knows she lost, you know?

Starting point is 01:49:21 So she gets up and she starts like shuffling back inside. And Catherine just looks right into the camera and she's like, and as she opens the door, she goes, God bless you. God bless you. Yes. Peace. Oh, that's coming.

Starting point is 01:49:40 That's how it ends. Oh my God, that's the best. Okay, so then she goes to Thomas and she's like, oh oh my god, she said you talked to her about me and that Mama, I'm like, well, keep it diplomatic in, you know, well, let's get a part of it for this conversation So then Catherine's Danny comes outside, you know, they start talking it over. And Catherine just starts getting herself to more and more worked up. Yeah, this is like the final. So she just called, Catherine to be the call Thomas Overs,

Starting point is 01:50:10 like, Thomas, your girlfriend is fucking psycho, okay? And he just goes, ah, ah, and then Ashley. And he's just staring and then you just hear like a clatter in the background. You just hear like Ashley coming, he was just like this.

Starting point is 01:50:25 Uh. Definitely a pussy. Definitely a pussy Thomas. She's like, she's like, come on Thomas, speak up, and say I'm not going anywhere. Tell her how good a relationship is. Who's face, who starts going like this, who starts going. Oh.

Starting point is 01:50:41 Oh. Oh. Oh. I think Catherine's like, honestly, stay out of this and that's just like, it's somebody else talking. I hear somebody else talking. I hear something To be fair it's hard for her to hear through all that what a buffalo here, but Tell her I know she is but what is she Guess what I'm rubber and your glue and anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you So then she starts getting real nasty. She's like baby mama stay out of it go find someone else to screw baby mama

Starting point is 01:51:24 And again, this is gonna be a great opportunity for Thomas to be like, you know what, Ashley, that's inappropriate. Stop saying that you're being inappropriate. You know, he puts that he goes, I gotta go. I just spent a pretty penny at things remembered. I'm staying until my meat is out. So they start walking away and ask she's like, I just like I wanted to save you. Sorry, I tried. I did. Let's just like give each other a hug because everyone thinks we're breaking up.

Starting point is 01:51:55 Okay. We just give that time. Yeah. I want to think you're breaking up. Give me a hug. Time I stand. Hug. Emergency hug. Hug. So then captain's like, oh my god. You know, she's talking to Danny. She's like, well, she's starting to. So then, captain's like, oh my God, you know, she's talking to Danny, she's like, oh no, she's starting to get worked up and Danny's like,

Starting point is 01:52:09 she must be flexible to have her foot in her mouth and her head are brass at the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Gold. Wilson's like, no, I thought I had the best line. Yeah. So captain's like, wow.

Starting point is 01:52:24 You know what, I wanna say one more thing, I wanna be like, wow, you know what, I want to say one more thing. I want to be like, listen, you've crossed the line. You've fucked with me. Let's see how long you're around. So, you know, Catherine, she gets worked up for any big events, which is so funny. So she goes, yes, we encounter people are screaming, cool, wait. So she goes right up. And she's like, Thomas, actually, like, Thomas, I just wanted to make you better. I just wanted to make it all better. Well, she's like, I really did go in hoping to make it better. Am I well then maybe you shouldn't have like freaked out after your one line of an apology. And then the classic

Starting point is 01:52:58 line fight continues because Katherine comes up and she says, I just want you to know that you crossed the line and as a mother, back. You. You. Look me in the eye, fuck you. So I'm going to say now every time I'm mad. As a mother. I kind of felt like, this is you. Yes.

Starting point is 01:53:18 Get out of my parking space. As a mother. As a mother. Yes. Didn't it kind of feel like we were watching an old episode of Batman, like every moment was like, That's a mother. Yes! Did it kind of feel like we're watching an old episode of Batman? Every moment was like, bam! How? I was like, yes, yes, it was like, I would have been giving standing

Starting point is 01:53:34 innovations except I was like horizontal in my bed. So she goes, I hope we're cool one day. I hope someday we can be cool. I hope someday we can be cool. Well, we won't be cool because you're gonna be gone in a week How about why don't you work on being the best mom you can be and that's not a good sample. It's like Ashley Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you So then Catherine says and I love that I cheered at the TV,

Starting point is 01:54:06 like this is the first time she ever said this, but Catherine's like, I'm not comfortable with her being around my children. They need to put that on a, on like a door mat you walk in, like, I'm not comfortable with her around my children, because it's like everybody that Thomas brings. But he's still like, oh, you know. So there's a lot of like, get on my face.

Starting point is 01:54:28 It's basically, you need to hear me. It was a Catherine saying you need to hear me, and someone's ain't get on my face. It was a back and a forward. Don't come around me or my children again. You fucked with the wrong person and the wrong family. You know what she's like? You're not a family, you're not a family, okay? She said, yes, we are.

Starting point is 01:54:45 You are just the ad donor, okay? And then Ash is doing this thing where she's trying to do that really annoying thing where you just say the nasty thing to someone when they get matches like, you're very angry. You're very angry and God says, shut the fuck up, see anger. I'm trying to make things better. I'm trying to You're very angry and Cassyn's like, shut the fuck up, see anger. I'm trying to make things better. I'm trying to make things better. And the Catherine says the line

Starting point is 01:55:10 that every Bravo lady says at least, like every boss bitch says at least once. She's like, this is my ton, bitch. Yeah. Good classic. Good classic. So then Cassyn's like, do not come around my children again.

Starting point is 01:55:22 And now she just goes, good luck with that. And then smiles at her face. I was like, wow, this is like pure evil on TV. And once again, Ashley's running away, running, running. So Ashley's like, God bless you, you'll be in my pairs tonight. And she's like, pay for yourself. Yeah, cut fitness.

Starting point is 01:55:42 Cut fitness. Cut fitness didn't even fit in there. Because sometimes when you say it, right, it's like, whoa. And then it says six months later. Six months later. And then the music starts turning into that. It's a girl finding a dream and winning.

Starting point is 01:55:58 It's like, what did this music come from? Now, I don't do this. I was like, oh, God, this shit's about to get really dark. Because the six months later part. And so it's like, Thomas and Ashley are still together. They're like, okay. Hey. And then they show, and then they show that Instagram video

Starting point is 01:56:14 of Thomas and Catherine dancing to like, but Thomas and Catherine are co-parenting happily. They're like, okay, I'm like, I'm waiting for the, we all know what shoes about to drop. And then it goes, and Catherine has 50, 50, because of the children. I'm like, I'm waiting for the, we all know what shoes about to drop, and it's a, and then it goes, and Catherine has 50, 50, because of the children. I'm like, okay, great. I didn't like, and, and, and,

Starting point is 01:56:33 Thomas has raped an entire city full of people. They didn't mention it. Thomas has stuck his penis in every steamer in town. Okay. It's a mobile steamer. Good God. So there's a curious omission there in the epilogue, but with that, that brings us to the end of Tim's Revenge. The entire Tim's in!

Starting point is 01:57:00 Kansas City, thank you so much. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

Watch What Crappens - Southern Charm: Winter Ball and Chain - Live From Kansas City

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.