Watch What Crappens - Southern Hospitality: The Boy Is Mine

Episode Date: January 5, 2023

Grace Lily and Mikel both have their eyes on unavailable men, but that will never stop them from shining on glamorous Lake Norman! Plus, Leva is shocked when the normally straight-laced cast members of Southern Hospitality go wild on social media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Ben Mendelker and joining me today is the wonderful, to watch our crap in, to podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mendelker and joining me today is the wonderful hilarious, a man who says whatever he's wants and feels whatever he wants to feel because that's his right. It's Mr. Ronnie Carrham. Yeah, don't take my shine. I would never do such a thing, Ronnie. John Steeler. Slut.

Sorry, I felt that. I just felt that. What the hell? We can't call people sluts now. It's a good thing. Grace Lilly sounds like every boomer in no fence boomers. I just mean all the older generation, okay? It sounds like all of us basically of our age group

in this time period. I can't call people slut, see me more. What the heck? She is like the perfect paradoxical union of like Gen Z and Boomers all together. It's like in a weird way, is she the future of her country? What is happening? We're talking of course about Grace Lilly on Southern hospitality, which we're going to recap right now.

But before we get into that, in case you missed the announcement earlier today, our tour is back. The Cheetah Brand Tour is upon us. Okay. Cheetah Brand Tour, a 2023 tour, watch what happens live, go on a cross, all of North America, and even some of Canada. Okay. It's happening right now.

Tickets are going on sale this Friday. There's actually a pre-sale tomorrow, Thursday, Thursday, January 5th. The pre-sale code is crap ins 2023. General on sale is going to be on a very auspicious state. January 6th, please don't get distracted by Jen Shaw's criminal trial. Her was at her, her rainman, her sentencing is happening. So here's what you do while you're waiting for the first person to buy VIP,

get Nancy Pelosi's laptop. So please put down your, your bison helmet and buy ticket. Please put Jen Shaw sent and sing on mute. Buy tickets go to watchocrapins.com. There's all the tickets are there. We're gonna give you the rundown. We're not gonna like hit you over the head every single episode with the our entire schedule

because we don't wanna do that to you. But again, you mean? Because that's normally what we do. We're like, I know we watch the comments. Where can they go to Salt Lewis? Oh my God, I love Salt Lewis. Do you remember the barbecue there? Again, you again you mean because that's normally what we do Where can the guy to thought Lewis oh my god, I love salt list you remember the barbecue there Oh, yeah, it's so good. They need more public transport. Yeah, you know what else New York City love it I don't care what anybody says about the mayor that city still great a lot of homeless You know what that's like a world's problem. I love this travel show. We just like this is a great pitch No, we do do it because you know you never know when someone's listening for the first time like a world's problem. I love this travel show. We just like, this is a great pitch.

No, we do do it because you never know when someone's listening for the first time, but the point is, we usually do just like a few of the ones that are coming up. Here's the full slate so far. So if you hear your city or a city that's near you or a city that your friends or family lives in, take note and come to the show. Okay, we're starting next month, Austin, Texas, home of Ronnie and his family,

Dallas, Texas, home of people in Dallas. And Bruce, Bruce Trolley. A Bruce Trolley and Marie, cowering somewhere, still having PTSD from Leon Lacken and season one of Dallas. Phoenix, Arizona, February 24th, Los Angeles. It's the golden crappies at the Wiltern Theater. It's our biggest venue we've ever done. So definitely come on through. Then we go to Charlotte. We go to Atlanta. We go to Denver. We go to Salt Lake City. Salt

Lake City was the first city that we had to cancel for the pandemic. So now we're finally going back there. And of course, since then, we now have real house as a Salt Lake city. So who knows, we'll show up. Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York City, and we ended in Washington, DC. So we're both like really, really excited. And it's so fun. I was, Ronnie, I was updating the website last night

and I decided to put like a little, I'll put a little collage of photos from the, this past year's tour up there and just going through all those photos. I was just like so nice. I was like, we, we had just such a fun time and I'm not saying this like infomercially, it though it sounds so infomercially, but I just looking back at the photos, it was a blast. Our tour this year and I'm just like really, maybe really, really excited to hit the road next year. Yeah, we're gonna have a fun time. 20 something shows, or I don't know, I don't count really,

but a lot of shows were really excited to get back out there. So we'll see you there, okay, go buy it. Just do it. Yeah. So let's get started with, oh, also this week is a killer week for us. We're having a ton of recaps coming out. So don't worry, your show is coming.

Miami almost, we're caught up with Miami now. Actually, we have a full episode that's out now and then we will do now, starting this week, we've got two full episodes instead of just catch up episodes. So those are God and videos on demand, crap and so demand patreon.com slash watch it crap and go for those. And let's get to Southern hospitality. Shall we be? Yeah, you know, it's been, it's been a few weeks since we, we hung out with these people, the good people of Republic, the hottest club on all of King Street slash planet earth.

Okay. So they, if you case you forgot, they were at Charlotte, where, because Charlotte was lit, it was char, lit, it was char, lit guys. And now we're at Lake Norman. It was North. Man, guys. So they're all, they're all passed out in their Airbnb just stinking up the place. That's what I thought to you when I saw all those people just lying around. I was like it must stink in there.

That looks very very stinky and Bradley's cooking so he's that guy, you know, who's just gonna cook for and Lucy it because she's a mom too, you know I'm just gonna be like the ones who take care of all these dumb dumbs and Will is getting a screwdriver. I just want to say I got unreasonably excited when I saw that Bradley was using the same bowl that I have. I have a red plastic bowl. I was like, that's my bowl.

I always do that. Does that ever happen to you where if I see a house where that I own on TV, I act like I literally saw a family member. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, it's mom on TV. That's just like a bowl. Well, congrats, you're trash, because this is Southern hospitality. I know.

I usually find my things on real housewives with Beverly Hills. Oh, okay, okay, Mr. Z Gallery. Yeah, right. You know the things I recognize. I recognize every home goods item because I'm in there twice a week just because like that's all I do. I just don't have a life, you know, so I walk around the home goods. So I recognize pretty much Karen Hieger's entire

living room. Well, my Red Bull came to me because my friend Nicole who listened to the podcast, Hi Nicole, she used to live out here and then when she moved back to New York, she gave me a bunch of her housewares, and she had this collection of red plastic bowls that I still use to this day, like 11 years later. So really, by you looking down on that bowl, you're looking down at one of our listeners. How dare you, Ronnie? How dare you?

Well, you know, if ever we start putting a best-of-story thing together, I think that will definitely go. I'm going to say the story of the bull. The story of the red bull. So here we go. Let's start over. No, just kidding.

Literally, nothing's happening. Okay, Will's getting a screwdriver for Emmy, which, you know, I'm a Stain dress, okay, Emmy. Emmy's a little, you know who I figured she looks exactly like the Queen of Versailles. But, and her age. Look at them. Look at Jackie and her standing face, face next to face, okay? That's your future. I hope you find someone who wants to build you a mallhouse over the course of three decades. That's my wish for you and me.

That's my wish for you. She looks to me a little bit like this girl who was on Love Island, Love Island UK last summer who was just like, she was kind of the worst, but very pretty though. That's my go to for her. So you know, rave reviews. So anyway, so Maddie brings some coffee,

and she's like, do you wanna sip of my coffee? And then Mia is very excited, she's on Instagram, and she's like, oh my God, Ross Chastain just followed me on Instagram. I'm reading this back now, Ronnie. I'm realizing how this really so the seeds For the drama this week between Mia and Grace. Oh, yeah, well I knew right when she said it She waited till breakfast. She waited till Grace Lily was right there to announce that Ross the driver just followed her on Instagram Perfect because of course Grace Lily just starts to slowly spin out wait what he followed you did you follow him you followed him first and you did well I didn't follow him

Well guess what I didn't get followed by Ross Chastain, but I did get followed by the Ross Perot Foundation. So suck at me. Ross Dressford List has a regrammed me twice, so suck it, Slit. So she's like, I'm real happy for me because me is beautiful, but I think she reached out to him. I don't reach out to guys. They reach out to me. They reach out to push you away. They're not reaching for you. They're putting out their hands to stop you. You crazy pants.

Yeah, I would say so. And also everything else in this episode seems to say otherwise. So, um, The third thing to reach out for you is to fix your eyelashes. Trust me. I've been reaching out to you for five weeks now. Okay, I reach out my arms every time you come in. I just want to fix your eyelashes. Trust me, I've been reaching out to you for five weeks now.

Okay, I reach out my arms every time you come in. I just want to fix your eyelashes. What's wrong with that? Get some glue, okay? I'm even care, chew some gum and get a little piece of it out and put one on the edge of love. You need fixing. So she takes out a photo from her phone

and of her with Ross and she's like, well, look at this amazing photo. We check together. I mean, it's really cute. I mean the only thing that's missing is a drain catcher I thought I kind of did catch my dream Ross that is I must start dating him Really, they'll see about this. Yeah, so my least like this just not surprised me grace silly It's always competitive about guys We weren't so loom and this basketball player invites me to a table and Grace So like freaked out like oh my god, why didn't you invite me like just the fact that this guy noticed me and not her thought reach her out The ongoing saga of to loom on the show is actually one of the most brilliant things we've ever seen on bravo

Like there's some sorted but in consequential backstory. You know, because every episode, that to loom trip was fucking crazy. What happened? Everyone, I always read these posts on Facebook of moms like, oh my god, someone was looking at me in the target parking lot. Human trafficker. I'm like, why would they be in the target looking for you? Go to to loom.

I'm like, apparently everything goes down to Lume. I know. In like every episode, they keep talking about, we get just another insight about Tulum. It's like, well, we were, everything was good into Lume, but I didn't like the guys he was, she was hanging out with into Lume. And like, at first it seems like a benign comment,

but then like, when you start collecting all the Tulum anecdotes, it's like, who got killed? What, what, what man did you guys meet and what body got buried as a result of it? I would like to know at this point. Oh, you know no one from here would even bury the body. They probably just like lightly dragged it behind a picnic table, lazy asses.

I mean, it's sort of like, this is kind of like the mystic river of Bravo at this point. Like I, like, I mean, it's sort of like this is kind of like the mystic river of Bravo at this point like I Like it like I'm on the series finale lower linens gonna come up behind someone a whisper something evil in their ear It's like mystic pond so Mystic mystic mystic mystic Drip out of a out of a garbage bag

Mystic cuddle. Mystic cuddle. So Matt, he's like, you know, we're taking the pontoon today, guys. We're gonna go to the sand bar, then we're gonna tie up everybody. We're gonna have checkers. We're gonna race. Everybody, everybody, everybody. What are you sober from again? Can I have a list?

Good God, man. I would ask this girl to pee in the cup and fight my hair. Just for fun. You know, let this girl to pee in the cup and fight my hair. It's just for fun. You know, let's play the pee in the cup. Let's play the pee in the cup game, guys. It's NASCAR day. I just would be like morally opposed to getting into like a checker themed outfit, not at the race course.

I'm like, I'm on a pontoon boat. I feel like the NASCAR is over. I don't need to be a checkered flag right now. Let me be a Let me be a mossy rock or something. I don't know. Do you think Mackenzie's child's Mackenzie child is just Pumping everybody like do you think who I'm assuming it's a woman Mackenzie child? But do you think she puts checkerboard on everything and then just watches him watch as people pay thousands of dollars and thinks to yourself trash. Another fucking checkerboard to my house. I think it was a bad.

Mystic puddle trash. It's like a Freddie Prince Jr. put bet or something like, I bet. I bet I could find the ugliest girl and make her hot for the prom. And then someone else is like, well, you know what, I bet, I bet I could put checkerboard on a home accessory and make millions of dollars.

Hi, bro. See you in May. So Maddie's like, we're doing NASCAR checker shoes today because growing up we want to delay and we're always laughing and we're like playing, we're like partying, almost drowning. Sometimes it's always a party and like, no, man. I love she just throws in the almost drowning part. So also could we not start with the costumes?

We've got enough crap shows on Bravo with the costumes for every, every event. We don't need you in checker, okay? You went to an ask car yesterday. It's over. Find something new. Well, luckily this show has like no budget. So like the best they can do is find some weird like party

city accessories to just sort of like drape on their bodies. You know, just like barely costumes. So they all get on the RV to go to, to, to, I think is it just a different way? Like Norman, like this. I thought they were at like Norman already. No, they're, they're at like Norman, but they're not staying on the lake.

They're like, that's just again, God, I love a low budget. Bravo. So they can even stay at whatever random like this is. These are bar backs, Ben. Okay. This is to take the bus to like Norman. Yeah. So they leave on the RV and the wheelchair like, yay. And it goes 10 minutes later, and then we see Will's cellphone footage and it's gracefully going, fuck you! I don't care, I don't give a fuck what you think. I have my opinions, fuck you!

Okay, let's take it back a week ago. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, on Monday night, I met a guy named Andrew. And then we see Shep with a man bun 10 years ago, basically. And she's like, we met bubbles and boobles. Bubbles and bebles. I said, who's that man with the Fisher Prize hair?

And it turns out his name is Andrew. So then she meets Andrew. She likes him then goes, when's a night? She's like flirting with him. And he's like, so you skate or anything? And just I surf, I mean, I don't skate. Hey, we gotta get some sex wax, because I need to wax my board with sex wax,

so it's protected from sex, rain or something. Who says that anyway? Hey, you scared or anything? I know. What's the game is that? That just shows... When they talk about that, like, women, like just totally outnumber the men in Charleston, that's the example right there that someone can get away with using that as your flirtation.

Hey, you like parking close to the store or towards the back so you can get a walk in Hey, do you like an angled parking spot or more of a perpendicular style Candles V flashlights go go Baydoor knobs versus sort of like the the things that you sort of like clutch on to The pull or push a door. I'm not following you need to make it quicker. You wanna get in these pants, you better make that quicker, buddy, okay? Me some sex wax. So she's like, yeah.

And then on Wednesday night, Mia told me the Andrew was dating her best friend, Aria, and at that party, he was talking to her. And then we see a clip of this party where this gorgeous girl themed area is like, take your shirt off. And he does. And he's like covered in tats that are like, skate, you know.

We'll skate for food. See him skate. And so she's like, in that, when my emotions took over. And so she's like in that when my emotions took over Yeah, and Mia tells us her side story, which is Grace walks past me and under her breath She goes your friend is a slut like I get it We see your hurt because something should he happened with the guy that you liked you cannot attack my friend Just take the yellow move on

Your friends are slid. I just, I just, I, where were the cameras? How do the cameras miss this moment on an RV? Like it's already, if you're going to do like the walk by muttering thing, where you go, your friends are slid as you walk by, usually you need to have like a full side walk, right? You have to like walk somewhere. But on RV, there's not a lot of space, so I really want to see how it played out. Oh, I thought it was at the party

where she said your friends is slid. No, it happened on the RV. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. Just casually walking by. Your friends slid. Are you trying to walk off? You're just standing with your face pressed to the wall

and moving your feet. I'm walking off. Friend of slut. Says, far as I can walk off. So Grace is like, it's just more the fact that like, I just wish someone had told me, cause man knew, man knew. And Emmy is like, yeah, but you know what?

He was asked to go on a date with her and then they like took the time to get to know each other and then she wasn't for him. And then he got asked out again and he talked to someone and then they clicked. So like, that's it. And Mickel's like, yeah, but that's what I'm saying because Grace did invite him to that party

as her plus one. So we have to remember that, okay? We have to remember that. You could only fuck the person that you're plus one too. That's it. And he's like, you know, the thing that people don't know is that Grace is super insecure. Oh really?

People don't know that? Who the fuck doesn't know that? No, actually what Michele really says is he goes, I've no Grace for years, and she's been, always been super, super, super confident. But what people also don't know is that she's also super, super, super insecure. Like now, listen, I think you can only have one of the other.

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the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Uh, so then we see a clip of last night and she's like, I have trigger moments. Like, why can't I get someone who wants to get to know me? Because you're fucking hula hooping in their face. Like put down the baton and the sneakers that light up every time you take a step. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, maybe you know she has us, by the way. Also, like maybe if instead of like just going off to soul search,

you actually were present, people might get to know you. I also like that she just declared that she doesn't reach out to anyone. Like she doesn't reach out to guys. And yet like the crux of this entire controversy is that she invited this guy to a party. That's reaching out. But he tried to get to know her because he said, you skate. So she's like, oh my God, married. You're right, he did take the first step.

Yeah, he's like to really try to get deep with her. So she's like, because I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he knew what he was doing. Oh, he tricked, he tricked a plus one invitation out just so he could find someone hotter. To an exclusive social outing with the core, tier one employees of Republic. He's like scaling the fence like the Salahis

on real housewives of DC years ago. Like, I know Obama. Tell him about Obama. Tell him Michelle Salah is here. Hey, mom, it's Andrew. Guess what, it finally happened. I'm following Brick and two with the Republicans. What in hell goes?

So, I mean, he's like, yeah, I thought we'd do Mansfall because I guess they just cut the women's throat every time. Yes, and because oh my god, no one's saying that. I'm mad I guess. But it usually is the man's fault though. So, I mean, Emmy, do you have date line? Watch date line. Yeah.

Or lifetime at least. Watch anything. Or real life. Like, I'm watching the movie. I'm watching the movie. I'm watching the movie. You know what I mean? Watch some birds.

So then they unload the bus shirt to Lake. and Maddie's like, this is the cycle with Grace silly. You fight with her, you fight for her and you root for her and then she asks like this. And so now they're on a boat and Michele's like a chance of, oh a pontoon. I don't know why I feel like, I really feel like highlighting that because I feel like like It's most appropriate that this group is on a pontoon not an actual boat Yeah, I know because bravo has given us boat standards that neither one of us have really earned You know what I mean like neither one of us are really boat people

But bravo has educated us enough about boats to know which ones are trash and Pantons are trash I was in Mexico and we went on a we paid for like an expedition or whatever as you do and we were going whale watching and I'm like a fucking pontoon. I was mortified. So I hope nobody sees me on this and then cause me hypocrite because I I pontoon shame. Yeah well you know the boats are really our way of understanding the show's budgets. Okay. So, like, we have below deck, which is literally a yacht.

And then you have Potomac has had some real mid-pack boats. There was definitely a catamaran in there that Monique rented once. There was a little boat that I seemed to remember. There was a boat one season that was also kind of rinky dink, but this one, I mean, this is, they may as well just give them some driftwood and a paddle. I mean, this is like, they're really, they have, how much money is Bravo giving this show? They just went to the local clinic and emptied the implant bin, you know, like the recycled implant bin and just put some sticks on it.

Here we are. So, Miguel's like, cheers to the rich people. And they jump around at dance and stuff. So, Lucia is talking to Grace and she's like, I mean, I understand, like, it does feel hurtful to be like, blindsided like that. And Grace's like, yeah, it hurts to like, not be appreciated. Like, I know I'm a good person. Like Grace, like, yeah, it hurts to like not be appreciated.

Like, I know I'm a good person. Like, I'd be such a great mother in like such a great wife too. I just can't wait for the day that my daughter has her first kiss and I say slut, that's what you are. It's a walk by slowly and practiced. By the way, I also grace Lily,

this was like the moment where I really got to see her outfit. She's wearing like a fishnet, you know, fishnetting, you know, but like this was such crazy fishnetting. It literally looked like the net they put up to catch the airplane on top gun. I was like, it just was like, dust real. Yeah, she's got some great, wasn't this where she was wearing a leaderhosen bathing suit?

I mean, what the, what the, I don't remember, but possibly, and I'm gonna just say yes. I feel like I remember her in a leaderhosen bathing suit. This show's so crazy, I don't even write down what they're wearing anymore, because it's just, it's just nets, but in my memory, I'm like,

that was leaderhosen, right? And fish nets. So the, I mean, I, yeah it's just, it's just nuts, but in my memory, I'm like, that was leader, Hozen, right? And fishnets. So the, I, yeah, I just remember the scene that was fishnet. I mean, we've all seen fishnets. It's not crazy where a fishnetting. And we've, listen, we've seen a lot of Teresa Jude, as we've seen all the macrame and whatever.

But this was like, literally, she had just been caught by hunters or something. She was. She was. She was. She was hanging upside down from a tree. She's like, hey, I've been good mother, damn it. All y'all sleds. She's like, I went to Yogi bear to say of her. Yeah, I

think it's extremely offensive to where fish nets in a place where there's fish. Like this is not very nice. You know, like, look at my fashion, you know, it's actually like we've ruined your entire dynasty. But here I am wearing good as fashion. Yeah, exactly. It's actually like, we've ruined your entire dynasty, but here I am wearing good as fashion. Yeah, exactly, it's actually like kind of, there's like a certain amount of human privilege to be like, oh, I can wear it as fashion

because I can get out of it. Good luck, fish. Steep it fish, steep it slip fish. So yeah, she wants to be appreciated. So, my cows like, yeah, Grace Lillie would make a mother. I mean, a great mother. Ah!

Ah! Ah! So Maddie's like, wow, I didn't even know you were looking for love or a boyfriend or, I really don't know much about you. I guess I never really asked you a question. We're just both hot, so we kind of gravitated towards each other, no questions asked. So Grace is like, hello, Kia Am. I mean, if it finds me, it finds me, you know, I need someone that really

shows me that they're really about me and love me. Okay. I need you commenting on all my Instagram posts, like on all my pictures. She'd be a good mother. There, I said it. You know, she's one of those people who'd have like a baby Instagram for her baby. The baby would probably be left at the valley stand at boobles and bubbles or whatever, but she would like their posts. Oh, tell the winners.

Her wedding is gonna be like, her husband's gonna give vows like Grace Lilly. I always knew from the time I met you, you were the one, you're so beautiful, so courageous, I'm gonna do everything to be with you, and she's gonna be like, I'm just gonna re-gram that for the audience here, that's it, that was my bias too. I just feel like my heart keeps getting broken, love is a losing gang, Amy Winehouse. I feel like I'm still too soon. I feel like it's just like Amy Winehouse. I feel like that's still too soon. I feel like it's just like Amy Winehouse deserves better

than Grace Lilly regurgitating her quotes. Yeah, I feel like if anything, it's like younger a chef with a man, but who is singing, like, and I said, no, no, no, and she just keeps trying to change the track. No, so then, you know what's a losing game fish nets for fish You know it's losing game all the fish trying to come apply for apartment in my legs, okay? Because you're never gonna get out of here. You're done fish. You know what's a losing game air if you were a fish that is

air. If you were a fish, that is. Kind of love that song. Love you. I was there is something funny about her hoping to find deep profound love on the basis of someone liking every single thing she does on Instagram and commenting on every photo. And then when she finds someone who's as social media as obsessed as that, that it just doesn't work out. I just love that negative feedback loop she set up for herself. Yeah, her whole romantic deal is set up on that, because the guy has to follow her first on Instagram.

And then he has to like all of her, it's all based on Instagram. Yeah, Instagram. Yeah. So then Mia is talking to Emmy. She's like, if she feels hurt, that's fine. I mean, but and then he goes, do not come up, my friend is slight. I will fuck you up. Yeah, they're really, they're really are all about having Arya's back. Maybe they think that she's connected to the casino. Maybe they're going to get some sort of like free room. They think she's a famous singer. So the gay, oh, TJ, I'm sorry, I said the gay.

I couldn't remember his name at first. Am I shit? No, because he's my favorite discount grocery store. You know what, you know what, it is offensive sorry, I said the gay. I couldn't remember his name at first. And I should know because he's my favorite discount grocery store. You know what you, you know what? It is offensive that you called him the gay. You should have called him one of the guys. Okay. Yeah.

I'm just not used to that. I'm bravo. So he's like, um, let me show you a text from Leba. They see where out of town, um, on Martini, my day. Can you believe it? We are out of town on Martini, my day. I'm going to call her. I'm going to call her right now. You know, just to make sure she, you know, she doesn't think that right. on Martini Monday. Can you believe it? We are out of town on Martini Monday. I'm gonna call her.

I'm gonna call her right now. You know, just to make sure she, you know, she doesn't think that we're ignoring her. So she's like, hey, Lev, I'm here with Brad and Mikael and are calling just to make sure people are still going to Martini Monday, even though they know we're out of town, which I think is like the funniest thing.

Like all of Charleston's like, wait a second guys Martini Monday is gonna suck tonight Joe Joey marbles and TJ aren't gonna be there. I don't know. I think I'm gonna stay in Martini Monday without TJ Martini Dundays more like it. I'm not gonna anywhere I'm going to church I'm finishing college that's it. So DJ yeah I call seven and then love us like yeah if the kids aren't posting I don't have

business and if I don't have business that is not okay mom. Hey how about getting a decent fucking restaurant that people want to go to because it's good and not hiring Instagram hosts because you can't get customers by yourself. That's not cool. Do they get profit sharing for all of these people that are coming in? And don't say tips

because you can get that at any restaurant. You can't, and this made me crazy when I was a waiter in LA because when you go to a job interview to wait a fucking table at a Denny's, you have to bring a headshot, your InstaCounts, your, I mean, yes, they ask you this shit at job interviews, it's nuts, and it's like people like Leva,

you know, like yeah, they post and I have a business. Then treat them better. And I can't believe I'm sticking up for the kids there, but I agree. I think it's, then treat them better. And I can't believe I'm sticking up for the kids there, but I agree. I think that's what I'm watching. I think it's, I think it's, if they were not hard for that, like there weren't hard to be social media influencers. It's called get a, you know what it's called?

You know what it's called? Get a social media manager. How about that? So she's just trying to get free labor. That's what that's all about. So then she's like, so how's the trip going? And so then TJ's like, everything's been really good. I mean, today on the RV,

we got into a heated argument, you know, that slot, I mean, that Grace Lee that you brought back. Yeah, she got into it. God, he's such a tattletail. My God. Snitch, smitch. He didn't actually,

he didn't actually single out Grace Lee, but that's basically what he was doing. He was trying to get Levin to ask for De but that's basically what he was doing. He's trying to get love and ask for Deets That way she could Cycle her out. Yeah, but he's still snitching on everybody like, but then we got into a heated argument. Lava, what are you gonna do about it? Oh my god, somebody better get extra lime do you leave tonight? And I'm telling you that better happen or I'm not posting that slice of pizza on my Instagram ever again. Yeah, where's Lava coming down on TJ for his social media posts? Okay, you

reward the snatch you reward, you know, the bad guy rewards a snatch. Yeah, he's like Larus and house the dragon. So anyway, so then Leva just like puts her feet up to the phone. He's like, oh my god. Did you get a pinkie ring? I love your pinkie-dowry. Oh my God. Look at how he back with Mark. So then, meanwhile Grace is doing her thing where she's just saying how great she is.

She's like, I'm such an open and honest person. I just wish Mia would have told her friend, hey, Grace invited him to this party. They're talking stay away, are you? And Lucy is like, but you guys weren't even talking right? She's like, um, we were talking at the party because I invited him to the party and we were talking He said do I like to skate and I said sex wax and then he didn't answer so I pulled that sex wax I start revving it all over my body. And then he kind of turned around to get a drink.

And I started slipping on the floor from the sex wax for him to hit first into the bar. And it hurt. He didn't even help me because he was talking to me. A slut friend. Yeah, you know, the thing is this, we could have had a whole love affair. We could have gone to that amusement park

that's all based off of sex wax. Like, that's six flags. Different. So Grace will be like, yeah, we were talking I'm the one who invited him. And then he's like, well, she didn't know. She was whatever. Heathen girl. I'm sure he'll be with another girl by the end of the week. Bye. And bye. And Emmy is like, you know what, Gracel is all about her moon rituals and crystals and good vibes, except when a guy looks at a girl that isn't her, and then she, the girl's like, oh, it's just a slot and a whore. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, that's the way that rich like moon rituals and

crystals and good vibes work. They cover up the horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible views. Yeah. That's why people go to them because they like to think that they're good people. Yeah, you know, crystals and moon rituals are basically like, siding on the side of your house. You know that like cheap vinyl siding that you can buy?

It's cheap and it covers up all the flaws well enough for you to sell the fucking place. Yeah, that's it. It's like a good shirt. It's good shirt. H up all the flaws well enough for you to sell the fucking place. That's it. It's a good shirt. It's good shirt. Hides all your problem areas. Makes you presentable to the world. Yeah, so Grace Lilly's like,

whatever is fine, I'm good. Apparently not. And will the shadiest guy on this cast by far is like, you're so secure. She's like, oh, I'll just keep it to myself then. I'll just be able to hear, keeping it to myself. You're literally hula hooping right now. To myself.

To myself. Look how fast it goes when you leave it up with sex wax. Woo, woo, woo, woo. So you literally brought tap shoes on vacation. Buy myself doll for myself. So he goes, well, keep keeping it to yourself. That's what you should do, because you're barking up four of the wrong trees right now.

She's, that's fine. I'll bark up whatever trees I need to. So she's kind of like, grace the least kind of leaning into that 90s afternoon talk show thing where people would get up in front of like Jerry Springer or Ricky Lake and be like, I'll do what I want. So she's, that's what she's doing. But it's like with a metaphor. So her being like and be like, I'll do what I want. So she's been, that's what she's doing,

but it's like with a metaphor. So her being like, I'm gonna bark up whatever tree I want. I love trees. I'll choose any tree I want to bark up. Maybe I'm me, yeah. And we'll like, oh yeah, then you're gonna get a communicative group. And then cause like, don't say that.

And he's like, I didn't hear, I'm sorry. That was wrong that I said that. And then cause like, but when everybody in the group is coming at you and she was like, don't say that. I was like, I didn't hear, I'm sorry. That was wrong that I said that. I mean, Kels, like, when everybody in the group's coming at you and she's like, that's how I feel. That's how I feel. I'll choose Mountreed Bark. I also, for some reason, I was really enjoying that Mikkel came in to defend Grace the Lee,

but he was also holding like a half-eaten sandwich and like some like wax paper and like a soda. He was like, I'm gonna defend you, but I'm gonna keep my lung chanting. He's a person who walks into a scene in a movie holding popcorn. He's like, who does it? I can still enjoy the movie.

So she's all, she's throwing a temper tantrum basically. And Mikhail's like, I mean, she just opened up about her life. I think people would say, I understand, you know? I mean, can she be a bitch? Yes, but she's a nice bitch. Does she like mayonnaise on her sandwich? I don't know, but I do, and I will be eating it. Where are my pickle chips?

Most importantly, which one of you bitches took it? So Mia has now decided that she's going to try to smooth this over. So she goes, Grace, all I wanted to say is that I'm truly your biggest fan. But when you say like that about women in general, like don't be that girl ever, don't be that one. She's like, okay, it's not okay, I'm over it.

Okay, everyone hates me, I get it, it's fine. I'm excluded from the group, all because I called a bitch a slut. I get it. I mean, it's like she's not a slut. Don't call women sluts. If you don't like them, call them Chimichanga lady. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Grace is like, whatever, I don't want to tell Nessie anymore. I can't go home. I mean, it's like, look at me, Grace. Grace, look at me. Check all the back to the loom, where people appreciate me love me Where people I'm Just like in Justin California all this time and she just thought it was

to loom. It's just hilarious that she's treating to loom like it's paradise when that's where a guy chose Maddie over her, you know, it's so funny. So me and it's like, but I like you Grace. She goes, no one does. No one does. I was like, don't cry because your eye your eyelashes already fucked up Make this worse so she's like I feel like everyone else at work and say such me shit about everyone else

But the minute I say something bro and that I admit to you then all the walls crack down on me. I'm suffocating Suffocating in the walls I'm suffocating under four walls on top of me because I've said something. One thing main. So then Mia's basically hugging her and like, okay, like here, they're there, they're there. I'm graced. I'm sorry I called you a bitch because I forgive you. No one here hates you.

It makes sense. You'd like to. I didn't even like it. I got triggered and I don't mean to call her a slut. I apologize for calling her a slut I apologize for calling you a bitch. You're not a bitch. You're not a bitch But I'm triggered This is dumb dumb just here's like props psychology words being thrown around and just uses them when she's in trouble I got triggered

I got triggered. I got triggered. Triggered by what was there like a bump in the highway? Like what got? But I'm not liking her. She got triggered. Tristan. Yeah. She got triggered because a guy who doesn't like her,

a guy who likes other people over her triggers her. That's her trigger point. It's always the professional athletes. It seems like baseball player NASCAR driver? It's telling me the NASCAR driver only on this show. So me is like the thing is not to talk about the other person because it might affect their happiness. And she's like, oh, I need to go trigger to the restroom. Yeah, I'm gonna trigger in there. I got a number two trigger ready to come in. I'm gonna be sorry. So then she goes in the bathroom. So then Mia sees Emmy because Emmy is ready to go in.

She's like, all right, my turn. And Mia's like, no, no, she's just going through a lot of shit. We forgive her, we forgive her. So the truth I'm trying to round and like make this announcement to the boat, we forgive Grace, we forgive Grace everyone. Okay, back to twerking or whatever this is called. I mean, we could make an hour long montage of just white people trying to twerk on Bravo.

It's here. One of the saddest epidemics I've ever seen. Yeah. So then now it's like party time. And then Joe, Joe is still peddling this sad, uninteresting storyline. This is supposed to be a fun and relaxing weekend off. But it's like hard to have fun when I'm watching Trevor and Maddie grind on each other. Do I?

Master beat, I don't know. Big. I don't believe this at all. So Miguel's like, you guys, I saw Huck I'm howling over. So I got in the water and I was like, hey, one party and I was not trying to fuck it. I mean, I would fuck him if I could fuck it. Better wasn't. I was just like being cool with him, you know?

I was just being cool with him. I was like, you know that he's going to show up expecting math, right? What's that? Hey, you like to party? I learned what that meant. I'm a very, very terrible three days of my life. I've never got that. I never say yes to that, okay. So, um, and then meanwhile, let me just start like writing on the deck. She's like, sorry dad. Um, so then we go over to Charleston and we see Leva in her King Street condo with a woman named Leah who at first looked a lot like Ramona to me. I said, whoa, my God. You know what? I don't need to bend the real hassles anymore because I'm going to be the marketing agent for all of Republic. Okay. you know what? I don't need to bend the real assholes in New York anymore because I'm gonna be the marketing agent

for all of Republic, okay? You know what? Just wanna give you a little advice, okay? I'm just thinking, the brand manager, I don't think I would call the police Republican, okay? Because like, people don't like to talk about politics and say, okay, some people are politics, some people are not, some people of democracies, some people

of Republicans. Okay, that's it. You know what? You know what? Okay, I happen to know a few things about this because I'm a little bit of an maven, okay? So here's what I say for the rebranding of Republicans. I don't even want to see the word Republican anymore.

While we call it, I don't know, Avery, okay? Something that's like beautiful and ageless and it looks just like you, okay? You know what? We should call it you, okay? You know what? We should call it caucus, okay? I don't even know what that means, but people like caucus, okay? It's it! It's a caucus title! Sweet shame, okay?

Some single, really mingle! Whoa, this is a big deal for me, okay? Because like this one time, when a little girl, I went on a road trip with my dad and Geraldine Parsonsmith. We went to sick caucus in Jersey. And Geraldine Parsonsmith said, okay, we've arrived. And she opened the door and said, get out. See you never, and then drove off.

And from this day, I've never been comfortable around caucuses. But I'm ready. I'm ready to re-embrace the caucus with club caucus. Kai? Kai? So, um, um, uh, great Lille here, so she's like, cock is, did someone look behind the picks and table in to loom? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So, um, so Leva opens up her phone and they're going over whatever, who cares? Leva's just pretending to work. So she opens the phone and she is, um, wait, what in the world? Wait, I'm like, so sorry, but like I didn't mean to get on Instagram, but like Trevor has these super demeaning photos of these people on Instagram.

Super demeaning. And then it cuts like Grace Lilly, humping a, hoping to chair on the pontoon and his clip, the clip he's added is my pussy sacred. And she's like, oh my, and we just see her. Then we see Emily twerking, you know, well, but I guess they're calling twerking in Charleston. And I'm well-poring beer all over her. And she's like, oh my God, I feel like I just went to a gynecology appointment with you. When you are publicly publishing something

that will live forever in time, guess what? That is my business. Mike, you realize there have been cameras on these idiots willingly for the past several weeks. I mean, this is nothing. This is like, this is the easy stuff. I love Leva her faux outrage at this moment. Well, it's all she is. Leva is just a fucking faux outrage. That's all she's ever been. I think. Well, it's just funny because like, she's also trying to pedal at her club,

like be sexy. We need you to be sexy. We need people to come in. She always wants them to be sexy and do all that stuff. And now she's like, I can't believe that you act trash like this. I think it's just, I think it was the pontoon boat. I think it would have been a yacht.

She would have been down for it. But the fact that it was like, like arriving around, but on a pontoon boat, I think it would have been a yacht should have been down for it. But the fact that it was like, like arriving around, but on a pontoon boat, she's like, you have better standards. Okay, get a better boat if you're gonna do this. Two things, I think. One is she's kind of a pimp, right? She's like gonna get all these hot people

who post sexy pictures all the time to get business for herself. But now she's looking at it, like she sees her workers on another corner. And she's like, that is not my approved corner. I think that's looking at it like she sees her workers on another corner She's like that is not my approved corner. I think that's part of it I think another part is that it's Trevor because Trevor's posting these things and he's also posting really gross captions on them Like if it was just them parting he's posting Posting all this massage and a stick shit on them like he's a pig and so that's part of it too, you know

But still I think that's actually a large part of it. Yeah, yeah, but still like you're you want them all to be sexy On Instagram to get you business But then once it's on a different street corner you act like you're running the four seasons and every customer's gonna be shocked that you're Fricking waiters are out working on a pontoon, you know, yeah I actually now that I think about it I was making a working on a pontoon, you know? Yeah, I actually, now that I think about it, I was making a joke about the pontoon, but I think the pontoon is a real big factor because it's basically like,

she wants her people to look sexy and chic and you wanna be with the sexy people. But this just makes them look like girls gone wild and just like, like one of those like shitty, spring, like non-MTV spring break things, that's like off brand and just like sad and they're just like you know like like Joe Wets' face the tiger guy just like watching and leering although gay not straight and wouldn't care about someone a

girl to working but the point is this now I kind of get it and now all of a sudden I'm like I might talk to myself on the left side here. No, don't do it. It doesn't make your back. It doesn't even though I understand why it goes against her brand. It's not going, it's not like this is hurting Republic whatsoever because she's acting like Republic is literally a worldwide destination that's like, this is not going to Cartier.

Okay, we're not going into any of this here. Well, that's the thing about it. It's like, babe, you're lighting in your restaurant is black light, which is not a good sign. You've got like carpeting from the dollar theater in there, you know, and then like black cement for people to barf on. Can we get off the high horse? And the way you promote, the way you have your promoters

working is having them literally stand on the silo. I go, hey, come on, come on in Friedrich Friedrich's on a head, come on, come on, table inside, huh? Get your table, get your table. She's like, well, maybe they need to work somewhere else. So then we go back, they're all back to the cabin now. And talking about how much fun they're having. Blah, blah, blah.

And Mikkel's like, I'm gonna make smoothies. And I'm gonna invite the guy from that boat. His name is Dominique, but they call him Dom. I was like, yes, little Dom action on the show. I was actually cracking up because some of them were back at the house, but some of them had gone to a really cute farmers market, including Michele. And like Lucia was like, oh my God, look at these beautiful strawberries.

And then Michele sees some peaches, he goes, oh my God, look at these peaches. I'm gonna make a fresh alcoholic smoothie. I thought, like, is this the, look at these peaches. I'm gonna make a fresh alcohol smoothie. I thought, is this the best use of fresh peaches? Or is that just me and my dude's not really speaking? Yeah, I don't know. I just like the vodka straight down. Like, why waste your time with other calories? So he's like, I don't know if he's straight.

Like, I don't know. We don't know. He's straight, dude. Okay, I know you're new to gayness. But let me tell you, if that guy was gay and you jumped into the water and swam over and said, hey, you wanna come party, he would have said, what party?

Who's gonna be there? Where's the invite? Where's the Instagram post with this party? I need to check to see if I'm gonna be funny. No, gay's just like, yeah, I'm gonna show to some house. Well, to be fair, Mikhail then calls him and to see what's, to invite him to this party and then Dom goes,

yeah, I'll be there. I just gotta run home and make some jorts real quick to get in the cowboy theme. It's kinda gay. Not gonna lie, that's kinda gay thing to say. It's also just country. You know, I feel like country would be like, I gotta put on some dream shorts,

but I feel like saying, I gotta get, I gotta make some shorts to go into cowboy theme. I was like, oh, McHale, you did it. You just sussed it out, you used your gator for good. He's like, me and me to bring anything, and he's like sparkling, sparkling, but say, do not forget sparkling with that. So they hang up and he's like, oh my sparkling, I don't forget sparkling with that. So they hang up and he's like,

oh my god, I called somebody. I know, he's very excited. So now back at the cabin as well, Maddie is like, hey guys, look at these decorations I got for our party. I got glow sticks and hats, which I'm sure is what everyone thinks of when they go to Lake Norman. And people are taking naps.

Well Trevor is, and Josie's in, and he's like, oh yeah, Trevor's like, I got the Mouster suite, well, so I good for him. I'm breathed, he's like, yeah, he doesn't even have to work for the company. And I just can't believe TJ didn't pop up like, blah, blah. Trevor is in the Mouster bed right now.

Amor T-Vide, Amor Dupac. Amorty vibe, amorty vibe. Look at him sleeping like a little fucking baby. He doesn't even care. Classless. Josh. I was surprised that TJ didn't show up dressed like a second like barbecue. Just like, who me?

I'm not TJ, I'm another barbecue. It keeps speaking guys. I'm not gonna report anything back. It's like a little spy. Grace is like a atomic cowboy. That means wild. Like out of this world wild. I'm gonna dress like I dress if I go to space.

Which to me, clarified a lot of things because I feel like there's a whole genre of these like degrade movies where these aliens come to earth and it's just like hot hot women scantily clad and like okay Pervy middle-aged man director like no, this is ridiculous and then you meet Grace aliens like oh There actually are people who would like to travel to space dress like that And then Mikkelson his like skin tack glitter glitter jocke pants or whatever and and then Mikkel's in his skin-tight glitter, glitter jocke-ing pants or whatever.

And Dom shows up and he's like, Q, he's like a cute little country boy. And the girl's like, Oh hi, I'm like, how'd we feel so much about you, Dom's here. All right, you two, get together. We're gonna take a picture from the stairs. Okay, put a flower on your wrist.

His guy's guys smooth guys. Seriously. So then meanwhile, Andrew, the surfer guy, surfer questioner, he texts grace and his text is, hey, yeah, I'm sorry, I have full honesty. Yeah, I met her before you and was shit timing for the situation. I would never have meant to hurt your feelings. That was never the intention. Also, did you notice that I started my text by to hurt your feelings. That was never the intention. Also, did you notice that I started my text by saying, Hey,

y'all just like the song? Anyway, hit me back. Cause she texted first. She DMed first and she said, you made me look so dumb in front of my friends. I wanted to notice that. You like, are you just tell me, just tell me. He's like, yeah, met her before you. So technically, I mean, I was cheating on her with you basically

So like you're the slut here. Sorry So then she's like okay, and she's with like Lucia and she's like well, maybe I'm gonna say okay Well, thank you, and I just want you guys to be happy and Lucia's like why do you have to want him to be happy? you guys to be happy. And this year's like, why do you have to want him to be happy? Don't say that. Yeah, do you really care if he's happy? It's just, I'm not gonna say anything. How about that?

Which we all know is a fucking my, I would say it followed up with that. I know, you know, there's like 10 texts afterwards. Yeah, she's like sex wax all over her body, like twirking on the grill. You know, like, oh, it hurts. It's the grill grace that we get off the grill. It's not a stage. we get off the grill. It's not a stage. I thought it was teaching. So, so then MacKale's outside with Dom, just like talking. He brings, he brings MacKale out to the backyard and he goes, hey, y'all

remember Dom from the lake? It's like it was an hour ago. I think they were remembered Dom from the lake. So then we go to Emmy. And Emmy's like, yeah, those foxes, let's send those foxes. They're like, me! Me! I was like, uh oh, here's Emmy. You know, you can tell that they see this drunk

Emmy all the time, but we don't. Yeah. Me! And say, hi Dom, I'm Emmy hey Tom so you got a significant other I'm an open book whatever you want to talk about great so if the arrow goes that way would you follow the arrow or would you go to the animal on another way? It said going on the arrow. And then he's like, oh, got it. Yeah, I'm right along the arrow.

Okay, okay. Do you like hot dogs or cheeseburgers? Oh, wait, I got one. I got one. Anal sex or vagina sex? And we'll say, babe, you don't need to use all these metaphors. I'm saying, oh yeah. anal sex or vagina sex. And well, it's like babe, you don't need to use all these metaphors. I'm saying, oh yeah, okay.

Let me think of a good one. Do you like sucking dick or sucking balls? Which is your favorite? Do you like, um, diet coke or penis. I think coke. So, uh, Will's like, I think she can take her to stop too far with some people, but honestly, it's like funny. So Joe's like, oh my god, uh, TJ, am I just asked if the dog is straight?

And she's like, oh my god, shut up. That is so embarrassing and so terrible. Yeah, do call me. Sorry, Lava, I just, my time hit your number. I'll tell you later, I'll be right back. Yeah, and then it goes, no, but Emmy did it in a very swap way and he's like, oh my god, that is so fucked up. My anxiety for him is so high.

I'm like, could you just like calm yourself low, then come up with a second. Come on, down, down, down, it's 22, dude. Thank you. I'm so glad. I knew you were going to say that, but there was a pardon me. That's like, oh, I hope we don't have to disagree about this. Because it is like that such a retrograde way

if it is not embarrassing to ask that. You know, it's like asking, are you single? Or are you not single? Is it tacky? Sure, but it's not degrading. I don't think it's degrading either. And I, you know, if it's someone, like some of these shows, it's an older person. It's like some, maybe like an older married person.

And they all start using like the, oh my God, he's gay. And they use it as this like weapon against each other. You know, like the, what do you call it? Like, homo fear. What do we call it? Homophobia. Well, no, I like homo fear. A gay panic.

You know, there's like that gay panic element of it, but she's trying to get her friend laid, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong. It's only just when you're young. Like you guys live in different worlds. You know, you should be able to go up and be like, are you straight, are you gay, are you poly, are you, are you, are you pro? Have you identified what are your pronouns? You know, the start to shit, TJ, that's some old queen shit.

That is, because like to say, oh, it's disrespectful, comes from, there's like an implicit assumption that like, oh, you might have offended a straight person. Like that's like, and the fact that it would be offensive is what is so retrograde about it. I mean, I personally think what this is is that he probably got asked a lot when he was in the closet if he was gay and it made him incredibly uncomfortable. And so this probably just brought him right back to that.

That's the only way I can count through. Yeah, that's true. And also there in the South where it's not, you know, we're lucky, well, I mean, I'm from Texas. Maybe I wasn't lucky in those earlier years, but later living in big cities, it was easier, you know, to live that kind of lifestyle, but you know, maybe we should be more tolerant

of the fact that he's from a place where it's not that easy. I mean, everybody we've seen on Southern charm would be shocked, you know, to be like, oh, I got a gate. They'd probably have like a million questions for even the gay guy on Southern charm. Remember was like, you can only come to my event if you are with a member of the opposite sex. That is how we do things. What a first name.

I'm like, I would forget his name now. Mr. Cooper. Mr. Cooper, self-loathe. Who's the man? So, DJ's Bayesley, if he wants to talk about it, he's gonna talk about it. So, I understand he's sort of couching it with now a modern view that we respect people's boundaries and we don't pry yada yada yada.

But he literally just said I'm an open book. And yeah, it's tacky. I don't think I would ask it, but not because I'll be afraid of offending him and just because it's like I'm of the mindset that if people want to volunteer information, they will. But TJ's basically like, I mean, what's Mikhail trying to figure out?

What Mikhail is trying to figure out is Mikhail's situation and the fact that she went down there and was trying to figure it out, that is disrespectful. You got to chill the fuck out. Yeah, I think so too. But, you know, I'll try and go for now because I'm always so mean to teach you. I figure, okay, maybe it's different where you're from, but it's sad that it is. It's sad that you would have to be that way, that it's still that horrifying for gay people, you know?

And I know that gay people still face drop. I'm not saying like, oh my God, it's totally easy now. But I think it's sad if it's still that, you know, like you're hiding like you're a fucking communist, you know what I mean? Like in the 50s. It's like, you're gonna lose everything. Yeah, yeah, but I guess my New Year's resolution for TJ is to pass that self-loathing.

Although I say this as someone who really just loves to dwell in my own, but you know, that's part of the fun. Oh, I love self-loathing. It's my favorite hobby, but not necessarily because of my gayness, just general self-loathing. I mean, sometimes that'll go in there, but self-loathing, I mean, who else is gonna check you? I like that you have a generalist view of your self-loathing, that's nice. So, either way, some...

The gay parts are the best part. So the rest of this shit, you know? It's the rest of the human existence. No, there's some great parts about you, Ronnie. No, I'm just saying like when you're complaining about yourself, the thing that I complained about, Ronnie. No, I'm just saying like when you're complaining about yourself, the thing that I complained about the least is that I'm gay. I mean, that's the fun part, you know what I mean?

If you're gonna bitch about something, go deeper. I say, well, I probably have some meta-self-loathing going on right here because I'm complaining about TJ being self-loathing, which is probably actually an expression of my own gay self-loathing. Maybe, but I'll tell you what, we have spent way too much time working on it. So that probably says that we both have an issue.

Yeah, okay. I love that. But you know, I'm calling Dom to figure it out. Hi, Dom. I'm a recapper. I saw you on the show. I can use some advice. Let's start with Joritz.

Okay, it's starting from, you know. Well, look, we're going to move forward, which shows that we're going to move. We are going to we're getting over ourself, low thing. So Matty, Matty has a different take. I feel like he's definitely gay. So that's Matty's take on it. So Trevor is still asleep, and now Darmus talking to Mikkel,

and Dom's like, oh my God, wait, you guys were in NASCAR yesterday? I was there. I was the one that had the shirt that said, drive fast, eat ass. Ha ha ha ha. Oh my god, this guy really is not gonna let you know. He's not gonna give us.

He's not going to. But I did like drive stick, ride dick. You know, give us something more. Yeah, I've all, I would yeah, I agree. I was hoping he was gonna say eat pussy that's a little clarified a little bit. I also like that he said I was the one who wore that shirt as if like oh yeah of the 100,000 people there,

I remember that that was you. In the thousands of NASCAR fans, you think we're gonna find the one person talking about eating ass on the t-shirt I think we're gonna find the best dressed person there So then Emily is like highlight of the episode right here Just throws a Brussels sprout in our master gratitude with her hand like flops it in our mouth. She's like this sucks Will sucks is seasoning. I'm ringing this apostrophe to will

Me equals apostrophe to you mean abomination. Yeah, such a brings this platter of unseasoned Brussels sprouts outside just penis Please take the Brussels Please take the Brussels. They're pleased. Put that the Brussels sprouts, put that down. She's like, oh, the Brussels sprouts. She's like wavering all over the place. It's like some surke de salatia. She, that tray is going nearly 90 degrees

and not a single Brussels sprout falls off. I don't know how she did it. I don't either. So then she puts them down and starts like tossing them with her bare hands. And then she puts them on her mouth and just starts spitting them out on, chewing them up and spitting them out all over the place. I know. She's a monster and yet she's the only one on this cast whose house I would go to for dinner

because, hey, she had that great shark would replay at the beginning of the season. And the fact that like, she drunkenly yelled, Will doesn't know how the fuck to season. I was like, that's the sort of thing, a good cook would yell when they're drunk, I feel like. You know? Yeah, yeah. So just like, they have meetings before these nights

and decide who's gonna get hammered and like make an ass out of themselves cause like a relationship is different, but this is kind of a rough vlog. Okay. We need, where's Bruce Vlanch? We need to help this guy out. His interview jokes are just really.

Where's Bruce Vlanch? Can we just have Bruce Vlanch ride his material? Anyone? Oh, so then we get a shot of Emmy eating corn horrifyingly. That's what I mean. Horrifyingly. I mean. It was.

Now, I didn't, again, I've said this a few times. I haven't seen the movie Smile, but was this a scene from Smile? I feel like it happened. It's not. If you want to know if that dude's gay, just watch his face as she eats that corn. Okay. So then TJ comes to McCall and he's like, so, and he was down there and said, is he and asked him if he's straighter gay? And Mikkel's like, well, that's awkward. He's like,

I mean, I understand, like, you're feeling stuff that like, he seems fine by it. I mean, he seems fine by it. But like, seriously, I know if you're dramatized right now. I mean, he's okay. But like, if you're super furious about it, I mean, he's okay, but like if you're super furious about it, I get that too. Like I get it. Yeah, and then he goes, and then McCallum now feels awkward. And so then TJ goes, well, you've been hanging out with him all night, so you better go,

go down there and talk to him. Like, like, I just wanna let you know this is what's going on, and now you have to deal with it. And so TJ's like, and then TJ tells us, you know what, in the South, it's very hard to tell if someone's gay or straight, okay? I mean, and this could have been his, this could have been this guy's time to branch out

and try something different. And now it's tails between his legs and he's running the other way. And then he goes back and he has to call Leva and say, no, everything's fine. I totally am still straight Leva. Oh, am I telling my story? Sorry.

Sorry. You, like that was a bad theoretical theoretical sounded a little bit too much like, okay, this happened to TJ at one point, right? Like TJ definitely went to a party once. I was going to experiment and then he got shamed out of experimenting. Yeah, but like I think the cameras would stop you first. I'm just saying. So then Michele is like, yeah, you know, TJ and I were really good friends and so I'm glad we're back to being friends. Like it's nice to have them on my side, you know, TJ and I were really good friends. And so I'm glad we're back to being friends. Like, it's nice to have them on my side, you know?

No one else really gets what it's like to be gay in this house, so that's cute. So then Trevor is finally awake and he comes back outside and me is like, um, speaking of grace, I heard Andrew texted you. She's like, yeah, he says sorry and his intentions weren't to hurt me I'm just gonna let him figure it out. You know and hurt you

They just need time to just figure it out like you talked to the guy once I know He talked about sex wax She's I do feel like in a sense you weren't really respectful of my feelings saying he's not that into you He doesn't lack you. I love when people turn that. When you, you know, like someone's crying because they've got a broken heart and people say, oh, well, you know, like you shouldn't, don't worry because he's not, he's just, he only wants to use you for your, for your body or something like that. He's going to use you and move on to the next one.

And then they hear it as they were never into you in the first place. It's like Jess on Winterhouse. I love when people do that thing and then they get mad at the person who's trying to console them. Yeah. So me, it says, well, you just respected my friend first, right? Like you called her a slut in front of all of us.

So that's gonna get it heated. So I understand. But you apologize and now you're backtracking on that. She's, oh, it's fine, it's fine. I mean, she'll find a new guy in a week. She'll find a new guy in a week you watch. You watch. And me, it's like, it's fine. I mean, she'll find a new guy in a week. She'll find a new guy in a week. You watch. You watch.

And Mia's like, she will not. She likes him. She probably will. I mean, I hear what I hear, and that's how I hear it. It's okay. It's okay. And she's telling us, I was upset, said, and I project my anger, but I need someone to tell me, it's okay, Grace.

We all make mistakes, but I need someone to tell me. It's a cat grace, we all make mistakes, but no one wants to help me. So guess what everyone? I'm gonna keep my opinions and my feelings of self. Yeah, you're right, she is gonna make a great mom. That's like the classic mom thing. Right. And then me and girls, but you don't,

you don't keep them to yourself. Cause I apologize for calling her a slut. Because well, you just said she'll be with a new guy in next week. Well, that doesn't make her a slut, though. So now Grace is doing the thing where she reframes her insult into actually impairments. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, it's like they're waiting, they're just waiting for their chance to say, don't

like Grace Lily. And she's like, I mean, you date like they're waiting, they're just waiting for their chance to say don't lie Grace lily. And she's like, I mean, you date, you date multiple guys, man. She goes, what? What do I do not just get you do you went on the date with Owen and then you went on date with that other guy and there's no problem with that. And me and it's like Grace, what you're not going to do is sit up here and fuck with me Grace. Oh yeah, well you came in to boobles and boobles with the new guy after you dated Owen, I saw it and there's nothing wrong with

dating multiple people, slut. She's like, I'm not dating multiple people and then Joe's like, I'm a vicar, all the time. I was like, thanks Joe. So me as like, you know what, you know what, don't fuck with me. Do not fuck with me. Seriously, do not fuck with me. Okay. You want to find out what happened to Sophie who had the chimichanga? Yeah, I'm not going to tell you because it's bad. It got dirty. Got real dirty. See you better lay back.

Sophie turned into the chimichanga in the microwave. So Grace is like, I'm not fucking with you. She's literally camped. There's like air between her ears. And so then Grace puts on her glasses and she's like, Bami, you have a good night! Smile's like she won some weird fight. I know.

I'm gonna say what I want. I mean, she's gonna find a new guy next week. I'm saying that in a negative way, but guess what? I really mean the positive way, because I just said it's positive. We all do it, right? Oh, good. So, Mikael Watcher inside, he do it, right? Oh, good. So, McHale watched her inside. He's like, we'll figure this out.

She says, this is actually hilarious. And then she tells us, I work real hard to make it back to the script. Why am I even trying with bunch of people? Hit down even care, badly. And so now, so now they're inside, and Grace emerges out of nowhere with a giant fan. And she's just like fanning herself with this big black lacy fan.

And she goes up to the group specifically and like Bradley's the front of the group. She's also got some weird Fredrick's of Hollywood lingerie going. Yeah. Like feather. It was like feather boa truth. It was like atomic, it was like atomic boa truth. It was like atomic atomic Bordello, not just cowboy and she's like y'all been bullying me since the moment I came back And Bradley's like when did I bully you when did I bully like she's not talking to you Bradley, okay?

So Grace is like all of you the second I came back every single one of you fucking bullied me everyone bullied me all year Yeah, the timeline is just growing like with every second y'all been bullying me for a year every single one And so then Mia comes up and will because Mia get out, get out

just go he's like trying to diffuse a situation about being totally obnoxious in the process and me is like no one's bullying you you stupid shit we're all flat we all like the fuck people what's wrong with that burning nothing wrong with fucking it's like that sion to loom fuck what you want and want what you fuck, okay? So then they start pumping down music and Maddie's like, you know the 10-year-old DJ like yeah, I can't pay attention to this because I've got beats to drop Okay guys DJ rec room in the house, okay?

So she's in there like down in the like the TV room in the den like Okay, so she's in there like down in the like the TV room in the den like I'm playing some dance summit or whatever's name is apparently keep saying it wrong because people keep telling me on Instagram I'm saying the wrong summit. I don't care first name summit. So then then Grace is now Grace is back with the group And she's like hey, I'm having fun. I'm happy to be here. I'm a happy person now And Trevor's like well, I'm not happier here. And Lucie says, yeah, I've known her since she was 19 and I just feel protected for her. You know, like she may be wrong,

but they are all after her all day long. I mean, they're not. I appreciate you being so sweet, but she literally just keeps re-igniting it by herself. No one even said anything to her this round. She was just like, oh yeah, you're mad, I call someone a slut. Yeah, they've been actually pretty nice. And in fact, Mia was, I would say Mia was really nice or considering that, that like Grace the Lee was nasty to Mia and that Mia went and like hugged her, consoled her and told everyone to back

off of her. Like, this is Grace the Lee's fault. So Joe is showing Trevor's Instagram to me and he's like my putthies, Dekrid, really? He's not even on a work team. I mean for anyone to find that post who sacred when they don't even work a republic. One, it's like, oh, so now you got like the king size bad. So you can say that's a place you're sacred like you don't have a work here. So let's see. So Joe is like, yeah, he also posted this pumping picture of grace.

And it says, jerky Joe approved. That's disgusting. Like I suppose this on a story, are you kidding me? Like I don't even know where he gets a jerky Joe from. But like, I've never heard that before in my life, and like, anyone can see that, and like, if Levo sees that, and like, she thinks that like, I had to say, like, if she thinks I said, hey, post jerky joe on your Instagram,

like, that could be terrible. So he's like, yeah, I think Trevor's going to do something even more fucked up than that, a Vanshalla. So, me it it tells us yeah, it's really weird to see someone like Joe pine over someone who makes such terrible relationship decisions he needs someone sexy mature Confident and able to withstand many days of pure chimichanga smell and a key book And she like points it herself Yeah, I'm basically wonder where you could find someone like that. Well, you're gonna have to be a little bit more straight forward joke, because I don't

think he's gonna pick. He doesn't pick up on subtleties very much. Like, yeah, I wonder where I could find someone like that. Maybe in Miami, airport code, MIA. Oh, yeah. maybe I'll have to book a ticket there. No, you know what, MIA spells? Missing in an auction. Okay, you know what, I give up. Yeah, so then Mikhail takes Dom outside and he's like, oh my God,

how much does happen to me? And Dom's like, I had a great time. Well, I just wanted to apologize for all the awkward situations because I'm starting at the sexuality conversation, because straight or not straight, what do I care? It doesn't matter, but what piss me off is someone trying to control that conversation.

And he's like, well I'm an open book. It's like, come on, Dom. I'm straight. It's like, okay, finally, thank you. Thank you, Jesus. But to be fair, I love Michele having an awkward conversation, apologizing for the awkward conversations and shaming those conversations,

trying to figure out what this guy's sexuality is. But sort of kind of saying that, sort of doing that as he's having this conversation. Like he's like, yeah, it's ridiculous that people would wanna find out what your sexuality is. Like, cause it's not my business. I mean, if you wanted to say it, that's one thing, but it's not my business.

But if you want to say it, like, first of all, if I said, hey, my sexuality is feeling the blank, you would say theoretically something, but that would be your choice to say something, which I'm not gonna tell you to say, but if you wanted to, you could say that. Uh, so he's like, uh, uh, Dom's like, yeah, well, I'm straight.

And listen, if you feel bad or awkward about it, I'm great. You know, it's just keeping moving. I love the straight pride. I'm straight. And if that makes people uncomfortable. So weird. Listen, I'm straight. Would I suck a dick?

Sure. But I'm still pretty straight. Mostly straight. I would say 40% straight. Anyway, glad we finally cleared that up It's been great meeting you, Michele. I'm an open book with a whole drilled into the center Listen, I'm straight. It's like when I told my bros when we went to see Lady Gaga last month God Love being here. I feel like I'm at home

So because like well, Tom is not gay, but like, you know, if we're just friends with friends, you know, but I wouldn't know that if I didn't jump in the water. And Tom's like, I am in the top four of the least affected people in the world. Y'all have a lot more going on here. Nah, I'm going to make I'll just get up and watch. I was like, bye.

I wish he had. I wish he had like I wish he had. Like I'm straight. Oh my God, great to make you, great to make your friendship. Bye. I feel like we just saw a show where that happened, but honestly, my brain's mush.

So now it's the next morning, and the place is like really in terrible shape. One of the worst shapes we've ever seen on these poor Airbnb's, and they wake up, and Mia says that last night she and Jo kissed a little bit, but she didn't want to do too much because there were a lot of other people in the room. It was like, it was like I was surrounded

by human Chimichanga. It's like you just can't focus on the romantic. So they all get moving because it's time to leave. And they actually leave the house a trash pit. I cannot believe they did that. And they show a clip of Maddie going, yeah, I'm bad from Airbnb. And I literally, I was, they were packing up

and I literally wrote my notes, okay, packing up, cleaning up, and then they leave and I go, oh, and I like deleted cleaning up. I was like, just packing up, I get it. Okay. So you guys made the winter house people look like responsible human beings. I was I was like horrified I was like legitimately horrified with just like I mean you guys work in the service industry like you know like that

Like this is like so shitty to do this right like you look at the pride like we have below deck adventure And you look at the pride with which like phase like I have to keep my galley clean at all times. And they're just like, whatever are gonna leave feces on the table here. Yeah. So they drive back and Will and Emmy are still driving separately. And they're saying,

we should check on the RV or whatever. And then we're like, no, I love me up, but no, we do not need to check in there. You know what we need to check in? A spice rack somewhere, cause God damn you, suck. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, of that and Bradley thinks that love is just upset that Trevor posted it, which I think is true. And Maddie is like, she said, like, shaking your ass is one thing. I thought you guys had more sense than that.

And Will goes, well, we don't. So ding, they're called into a meeting. Yeah. Yeah, she's calling a meeting, okay? Because love has got to protect her brand, the most important brand in all the Charleston right all black you got right Pop black Republic so they all gather in this tiny little room Republic Republic and

Which by the way why do they not gather in the round the bar? Is it is it open? Sit in some normal chairs like this if they had a pump has it. So I'm like mad, mad at the, I'm mad at the way they staged the scene. So, um, so that the guy can issue with the staging with the direction. You're like, where's James Lapine when you need him? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Excuse me, I need a plastic goat to come through here. Where has all the art gone? Do we have some scrims that can look like the little houses? Thank you.

So yes, there's a meaning and wills like you guys basically. She was like, I got some cryptic tucks over the weekend and I was like, well, there were some highs and lows. Michael goes, wait, text from who? And Lucie says, who is the spy? And the camera just goes to TJ, because we all know that TJs are rat. And she goes, yeah, with me, I texted Lava.

And we'll say, well, I told her that Grace Lillie had a meltdown. And TJ's like, it was me. I tell her everything. So you're all rats. Every single one of you. It's like, I'm Spartacus. It's like, Spartacum.

You know, like there's just these people. Spartacum. It's like, it's disgusting. I got rats and Ratatilli. That's a lot of rats in one show. So, love it comes in. She's like, hi, here's my ill-fitting, crop top business outfit.

Everyone's sit down. Listen, I heard different rumblings about it, not being amazing. Hives and lows are fun. Obviously, some of you got text messages about my disappointment, about what things were posted on social media. I was beyond furious.

Like, I am shaking right now. There is a line of men outside Wearing Tommy Bahama expecting to come into a classy place. And what do they see this shit? There's a 67 year old grandmother out there in the bikini top expecting the classiest night of her life How dare you? How stupid are you to let somebody post some shit like that? Like I'm gonna fire people You you do you have no control here, man. You don't have control over social media. She's like, what is this gonna do

to our numbers in the Midwest? I know. Sorry, sorry, man, that your brand was nominally affected by this temporary Instagram story. And I'm so happy that they made this show. Like, I love this show. I think it's a shame that they built it around Leva because Leva really is a ridiculous choice.

And I think a lot of people who don't like, and of course she's the natural choice, it's her restaurant, I get that. But a lot of people I think won't give this show a chance because Leva, they don't like Leva, you know? It's a shame because it's so good. I know, I oddly enough, despite me thinking that Leva's ridiculousness episode, I've actually always really enjoyed Leva, they don't like Leva, you know? It's a shame because it's so good. I know, I oddly enough, despite me think that Leva's ridiculousness episode, I've actually always really enjoyed Leva.

So I'm, I am a pro-Leva person even when she's being ridiculous, but I agree with you because there are a lot of people who do not like her and, you know, like, I say, you know, like push through the Leveness because she's not in a lot of it. And isn't it fun to be mad at her? Don't you enjoy getting mad at her? Like, you know, like push through the leaveness because she's not in a lot of it And isn't it fun to be mad at her? Don't you enjoy getting mad at her? Like, you know, even if you like... I do and I think that she she got on my nerves the last season of Southern charm by the end I was kind of done and but I think she's good on this show. I mean even though this is all fake

I'm sure this is just all fake, you know her being like oh my god They're not getting fired. She doesn't care. But I think her like not giving a shit attitude is hilarious. And I love her crop top business suits and shit like that. So I think she's okay on this show. I just think it's a shame that people won't give it a chance because they don't like her. Yeah, this is genuine season one Vanderpump Rules vibes,

but a totally different thing. It doesn't have, people are not as craving as on Vanderpump rules, but they're just a self-involved. And I think that might be the special sauce. Yeah. Special self-involved sauce. I was vaping, sorry. Everybody, thank you so much for being with us today. We love doing these recaps and we'd love having you with us. And we'll be back later with some below deck then after that we've got some real housewives of Salt Lake City we've got another real housewives of Miami recap coming up this week. So much. A bonus episode about our holidays. Tons of stuff coming down the bikes so stay tuned

and don't forget to buy your tickets. Yes, all right. Step on your ticket. Your ticket almost almost did forget it. So, um, do not forget tomorrow, your tickets for the Cheetah brand too long. Cheetah brand? Uh, going on sale this week. We love you guys. Bye. Bye.

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