Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: How Polo Can You Go?

Episode Date: June 30, 2018

On this week's "Southern Charm," Thomas wants one last hurrah on the polo fields before he hangs up his duds, which means that maybe now he'll have more time to spend with Ashley. Oh wait, they've PUMPED THE BRAKES (as Ashley has reminded everyone in Charleston). Also, Shep vs. a crow. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy, wowity, dowity!

Kelly Barlow, and she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Susie, going to the tobin! Eva Nikola Weber! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney

And our super premium Patreon subscribers Kelly Grant, the Grant Master Give them hell! Miss Noel The incredible edible Matthewsister Andrea, get your ducks in a roleplay And Lizzie Drucker, a fun mother f- Watch what crap bins Watch what crap bins and LazyDrucker, a fun motherfucker. Happy new year! Happy new year! Happy new year!

Happy new year! Happy new year! Happy new year! Happy new year! Happy new year! Happy new year! Hey everyone! Welcome to WatcherCrapins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this wonderful wonderful day fresh from Polo match Ronnie Karam also From the Rose Prick's batch of podcasts. What's going on? Through a polo match for myself so I would win it Stayed how I play games little girl Stayed how I play games little girl. Um, Ronnie, I am really excited because I literally just finished watching Southern Charm like 10 minutes ago and at the end was a preview for the season finale, which looks like it could be one of the greatest Southern Charm episodes of all time.

It was just astounding. And the thing is that it's actually not going to air next week because of July 4th and everything, which means that the Bravo Gods are smiling down upon Kansas City because we will be recapping this epic, epic Southern charm finale, Kansas City. And then the date of the war. A lot of Kansas City, there's gonna be a lot of gloves

and hair flicking. Exactly. Yeah, and then the night before we'll be in St. Louis, and we'll be talking about Real Housewives of New York, which is just always iconic every single episode. So if you're in Missouri, if you're in St. Louis, Kansas City, or just around those in states nearby, I just feel like coming to see one of our live shows,

please come. They're gonna be great. We're gonna see one of our live shows, please come. They're going to be great. We're going to be talking about these two amazing, amazing shows. Go to watchacrapans.com for tickets. You'll just trust us. It's going to be great. Yeah, do it. Yeah. Excited. I'm rested up now since our last trip.

Me too. I think I'm finally like through the worst of it with the food poisoning etc with the guy Fieri's sandwich food poisoning so I'm like ready to attack life all over again Do you have any T-Shirt? No, not yet. Not until next week. Okay, that's fine. Well, anyway, if you want to buy merch just also go to watchcraftens.com and click on that shop tab. Yeah, two more days. Yeah, what's the matter? What's going on? What's happening?

I mean what the hell? Yeah, Ronnie brought me mine yesterday, and it is so cute. I don't want them so excited to wear it We're just working to have a whole closet full of shirts by the end of the year. We certainly will But why don't we move on to Southern charm because you know? We got it. Let's do it. Let's get on our polo helmets and hop on the proverbial horse that is ever recap. What boots do I wear? What do I even wear? I'm never even written over. So uh the episode opens up with Thomas on his horse, which is fun. And then we see Catherine hanging pictures, which I thought that was

for some reason that really cracked me up, because I can imagine it was like the entire day's activity. It was like, um, well, Catherine is proven to be a good mother. The way she's urmin up those pictures over there. And that's first she took Christmas photos with the children. And now she's urmin up some pictures. her. I'm going to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her to get her level I'm very proud of it. Oh yes and I do have to point out that Cameron has already become that mom because in the

previously she's like previously I had a baby we know shut up. Okay yes so Catherine's hanging picks and she's like perfect and then Chef is adding butter into what looks like grits which I find out later is bad but it's like a stick. I got a stick. It's a stick. It's full of butter. Yeah, he's like, no wait, but then he goes, ah, I forgot the butter. Pango.

Jesus. There was so much butter. There was like a thing of butter lying on the top, which basically means, Chef may not know how to cook, but he knows how to make delicious food. I mean, carbs and stick of butter and panko crumbs. I'm in.

Yeah, I liked where it was going. It seemed very, you know, that seemed very focused. Yeah, I've never really gotten the whole chef thing. When people are like, oh my god, it's so cute. I'm like, no, he's like, like three day old cars. But when I saw that, I was like, I'm in. Cooked for me, sir. I see his cuteness.

I see his cuteness. Cars. in for me so I see it's cuteness cars so then we go over to Craig's house where he's drinking green kool-aid oh man well it's the closest thing to act a cooler but you know he's been dropped up and the ghost buzzers vault for some years now it's like it's kryptonite juice he's so sad for him being dumped with his pillow his pillow dumping well I think this is made of flubber some like it's kryptonite juice. He's so sad from being dumped with his pillow, his pillow dumping. Well, I think this is made of flubber or some hoping it's gonna help me out. Flubber. Craig is another professor. He's playing all the people in his family around a dinner table. He's just the same as all of them. He's like, Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules. Hercules.

So he's like, what do I want to make? And Craig is one of those people to find a hot, this is what I do to you. So this is where my judgment comes from. It's judging myself. Because I'm like, I'm going to play a piano. And then I just start buying piano. It was La Famous on. Before I ever know how. And he's doing that with arts and crafts. He has this like I'm gonna play a piano and then I just start buying piano's La Famous Lomb. Before I ever know how and he's doing that with arts and crafts. He has this like big telephone looking thing with like suckers at the end so he can lift stuff. I'm like, we even do with that. Yeah, I wasn't sure what was happening. I thought I thought maybe he was doing some sort of like heat transfer onto the pattern,

but I wasn't sure. It could have literally been an old telephone handset headset and like he just crafted it up to look like something more exciting than it was. He's just like, look, I'm going to put a piece of a telephone glass and call it art. Yeah, he's like not really understanding what it is because he's like too young to know what the landline is So you make a pillow with this thing so archaic This archaic device to get patterns onto the fabric turns out it's really hard to use with one you have one hand at a different archaic device ahhh Sean

Little help Sean Descri Christ, man! You know, to me, deadlines are arbitrary a lot of the times, and like, if Patricia had given me one more night, I could have had a badass concept for her. She would have had one badass pillow line that's fursure! Craig, I don't think it's gonna go from zero to bad-ass in one night's time because you've already had two months. Cliff art doesn't grow you

know what I mean it's not like a flower. Maybe if she had seen that old clip art Victorian finger that points like here you go maybe she would have liked that. He goes but I guess it was about the quote unquote principle. Yeah, what are those? Principle. No, principle was the 15 grand you gave to JD for his business that you lost. When are we going to get to that storyline? When is JD going to be dragged for stealing everybody's money on this?

He's being smart. He's keeping a low profile this season He probably thought he was gonna just be like And then like you cheated on Elizabeth. Wow see you later So next we go over to Shep and Cameron at Shep's house and Cameron's like, God, I haven't been here the whole season. I need to bitch out everybody about nothing. So she's like micking the rounds.

Yeah. So she shows up. She's like, well, Chef, I brought you some for breeze and more for breeze and some last saw. Okay. Wow. The house looks good. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. If you like plastic furniture, things that don't match with each other. It's very, it's very chic. You smell. I've raced some handy wipes, some antibacterial yeast. I had a baby! I'm trying to make meatballs, gosh. Will you help me? This is harder than waiting through a rice patty in the Vietnam War, which I'm very educated about. Thanks to Ken Burns. Garsh! I'm making meatballs because I read about them in my Vietnam War, which I'm very educated about. Thanks to Ken Burns. Gars. I'm making meatballs because I read about them in my Vietnam War book.

Can't wait to try these. These are Vietnamese meatballs. Whoa, Gars. These are Madame Wu's favorite meatballs. Gars. I love that camera is even mad at the internet. She's just like snooty about everything. She's like, what is this?

Craftsy.com, what is that? It teaches you? You will know. Well, isn't Rose? Isn't, oh, I'm going to say Madam New, not Madam Will. But by the way, isn't Crafty, isn't that owned by, and like, Comcast also? Like, because Crafty showed up a lot during Summer House.

And Summer House, they were like, hey dudes, let's like make a Margarita. I got something better for you, Jens. Why don't we make a margarita bar with Crafsy? Yeah. You know, they really earned that advertising money like nail gunning shit together in the backyard. He's just like, I made meatballs, where's my money?

Well, the camera in, she's really not smooth with her like product placement. She goes, what's this? Crafsy.com is this aside that tells you how to cook with all sorts of easy instructional videos and know how and tabs and printable resources. Is this a website that doesn't treat you by can eat and just teaches you at your own pace with 11 million videos and 19,000 blow charts? Oh look at it And he has an app too.

I'm going to follow its Instagram account, Crafts at Crafts C. I wish I could get this free for 30 days. Oh, guess what, Chef, I just created my own promo code and you can use it right now. I know, I'm so sad that Craig didn't get to use Crafts C. I like it if anybody needs it. Give it to Craig. He took two months in a day and still didn't get to use craftsy. I like if anybody needs it, give it to Craig, he took two months in a day and still didn't know. He's like craftsmaticcy. But yeah, he's like, I'm sleep memory. So they have. Oh my god, my, oh my god, something's happening. The world's

tilting. Oh, wait, it's my craftmatic adjustable bed moving up. Well, at least we don't have to look at yellow faces because they have not gotten prived. They've been crafty. Crafty. There was a commercial right after this scene. It was like, hi, it's Crafty. And then all everybody across America was like, where have I heard of that before? I think I have a friend who made meatballs off that website once. Okay, Crafty. You're really crafty, Crafty. Didn't Crafty also invaded restaurant wars on top chef, I believe they were like well This season if you want to make a restaurant crafty's gonna help here's Pam and she's got some twigs Yeah, that is so food network here's some sticks now good something no top chef. Oh top chef. Sorry. I'm

Dear oh gal those twigs a per day core. No, no, they're her too. Oh dear. Oh, Gail, those Twigda for day core. No, no, they're not Swiss or stuff. Oh, well, it's too late now. Bless her heart. Top Chef comes to Charleston. Hello, Miss Patricia. Gail, that's Pope Auree. You're not supposed to eat that, Gail.

Gail, Gail, that's not seasoning. They had a Patricia's Pope Auree. I'm so sorry, but she is adorable. Bless her heart. Did you mean to stab yourself with a butter knife? Did you mean to get your hand in our character in our character device scale? Fort Craig he is one of those guys on top chef who's like I just don't get it how did I lose? I guess timing was really my issue I was really close to finishing my cake. I just needed one more night.

I wasn't thinking about time. I guess it's about the principal. I kind of feel like cooking times are sort of arbitrary. Like just give me one more night steak and then you'd be cooked perfectly. Thank God Craig isn't in a cooking habit thing now like a cooking obsession because Craig would totally be the type to like serve you chicken ahi, you know I don't even know what that is. Is it like seared raw chicken? So I often have an issue with chicken being too dry So what I like to do is I like to leave it raw in the middle, but seared on the outside,

but apatet. So Cameron is just going after-set this old time because she's got a lot of time to make up. So she's like, I'll help you with that apron. Are you gaining weight? I feel love handles and he's like, can you handle that? Gorsh, gorsh.

Did you minst that garlic? I don't minst words, and I don't minst garlic. Gorsh, widestism. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Um, and camera's like, well, I had a baby. But, you know, I still have to have my own life, because babies are like little parasites and you're their personal assistant.

Which I've never heard it said better, half-say. And what a low place to be when you're an assistant to a parasite. Tarsh. So then we see Shep's ass crack, which was even in the teaser. So I guess we were all waiting for that one. Yeah, that was exciting. And she just had like peak brow beating. She's like everything. She's like, everything's like,

Sha-ap, do you even know what a spoon is? Sha-ap, do you know where the floor is and the ceiling is? You know the difference between the Sha-ap. Sha-ap, open your mouth. You can't breathe. There you go. Yeah. But he's like sitting there, like,

he's holding like raw meat and just like playing patty cake with every appliance and wall and countertop. Sha-ap, you can't touch everything with the raw meat. Shape. Gosh, but I want something else. She's like, they may have had to teach me how to cook one time without crafty, but at least I'm not a god damn idiot. So then they moves on to crag because chefs,

chef can take her abuse. He's just like, that was cold. Oh, you want a hug, gosh. So she moves on to crag. She's like, has Craig mistype and ham is butter knife idiot And he's like, he's great. He made out with the chick. Austin had to beg him to do it And then we see this clip of Austin being like, God, Craig will make out with this girl. Unless I play Kisdecroft, little mermaid on a loop. I can't help it. That little crab is so persuasive. And then it cuts to Craig smiling like, yeah, I just want to be part of her world. What do you call

it? Forks. I just go into my hair with a fork. So I'm ready for it. I just gone my hair with a fork. So I'm ready for it. I'm ready to bathe again. So then chef, of course, is like, whoa, I just made meatballs. I'm gonna pour a whole bottle of ragu on top. It's kind of the source of point. I know, he put the...

Did they not have any next up videos on Craftsley? Everybody's going on. And like, I mean, you know, like, you know, Jarg, tomato sauce is gonna be perfectly tasty, but I think usually you wanna kind of like, cook that, like, heat it up or something. You don't just like pour it straight on top, do you? Shipsie.

Shipsie. I'll go to Shipsie.com and find me. Shipsie.com. You get halfway through something and it just quits. It's like every band on this cast. And then it just goes, what can I say? I'm not your typical 39 year old and your computer just turns black. And Cameron's like the most boring Ursula ever.

She's like, keep power on fortune itself. So, chef of course, it's like, okay, the season's almost over. Let's bring these storylines, or these fresh new storylines around. He's like, I know you want me to find a girl, but I don't want you to worry about me. It's like, oh, we get it. You're single, you want to be single. No one cares. Yeah, it's been like five years. We know it's not gonna happen, so that's fine. It's okay. Just masturbate like it's fine.

So chefs like, oh, can I just marry Catherine? Which is like just let that be your proposal, please. I'm bored. I don't want to do anything. And I just used a bottle of ragu on meatballs. Want to get married. Okay. I just used a bottle of ragu on meatballs. Want to get married? Um, okay. So now we cut to, ding-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling- Yeah. Well, I can't be certain that he is it until he's actually standing in front of me. It's like, we're ding-a-ding.

Someone came to my door to have me sign some political bullshit the other day, and this is how she knocked on my door. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, until I came to the door. And I opened the door in my underwear, so I was trying to take a nap. And I said, what the fuck do you think you're doing? Get the fuck out of here, and I slammed the door on her face.

And I was like, you've really turned into a monster. And it felt great. I was fine with that. Well, tell me about this person. What do they look like? What were they trying to do? Like, what? Tell me a girl with frizzy, dry, firm, and a mixed sun hat

and one of those notebooks, one of those note things with a clipboard with a pencil. And I know it's a political thing because I think I've seen her in front of the whole foods. You know how when you come out of whole foods, they go, do you care about children? Yeah. No, actually, I'm like, no, no, I don't. Yeah.

It's like such an offensive way to ask you. I know. And if I'm, I'm still so mad about that mock, I'm sorry to even bring it up. Oh, I'd be furious. I've been furious for days. You were napping. It's not fair. Yeah.

Like who knocks like that? That's the rudest way to call the police. That's how to turn me into a Republican real quick. You go into my door like with your democratic needs knocking like that. Well, sometimes we Democrats need to knock, but that's, but you know, it's, it's not with reason. Yeah, I'm not as normal, but you know, it's, it's about with a reason. Yeah, knock is normal, but I really thought it was the police. I was like, I was like, now what did I do?

You know, right. Anyway, that's how Pat rings her bell. She's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Michael, do you care about children, Michael? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, he's like, yes, I do, man. So when he comes in, she goes, oh, Michael. Like, you didn't just ring for him for an hour.

Oh, there you are. Thomas is coming over and he's like, oh, shall I put some, shall I go, post some shrimp and butter? She's like, no, no, no. Like, how often does he jump to that? Like, you can tell, she's like exhausted. She's like, Michael, I'm a little bored tonight. I was about firing up some Netflix.

Would you like some shrimp poached and butter? Michael, no, not again. Michael, I'm gonna play some solitaire. Shall I put some shrimp and butter? God damn it, Michael. Mm. It's, you know, Michael, I'm a little hungry tonight. If you know what I'm saying,

oh, would you like some white rice? No, Michael, now's the time for the shrimp and the poach and the bodice. It's usually for solitary and Thomas, ma'am. Oh, Michael. Gars, it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig! Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder app Hmm, so I can't stop staring at that huge bowl of popery behind Trisha now. That's all I say big feather pen It's like a big a showgirl in pen form So Thomas comes in and he's like all I have what they refer to as The Hamptons Gatorade. Is that the Hamptons? Yeah, I think it was hard to hear,

but I think he said Hamptons, and he was like, what's that? Michael's like, is that shrimp potion butter by any chance? Thomas is like, this is fishy butter. Yes sir. Yes sir, it's the Hamptons Gatorade. It's shrimp potion butter, and the Gatorade part is the butter

I'm gonna fight it mate So Patricia's like well, Michael and I just finished in fights for the ball. You'll get one Considering you behave between now and then The men will wear tails and a different kind of vest and women come in gowns. No cocktail at all. And there will be shrimp poaching but a Michael. Michael, I'm sending you back to the coop with you. You're giving yourself sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry, ma'am. You're sending the car. You're sending the Costco ones. It comes back with 45 pounds of frozen shrimp, and this is what you get

Please don't send me back there It was too amazing for me The bargains are just too great, ma'am Have you ever had a veggie burger? Yes, Michael. Yes So you know when you get old and fat Yes, Michael. Yes. So you know when you get old and fat And you buy probably extra pants or stuff. Yeah, it's like church pants and they're like your stomach is going under the pants Yes, that's what Thomas is nuts look like it That's what Tom is basically like a nut fupa. Yeah, that's it Thomas like look at those big old nuts and those small last pants

Look at those big old nuts and those small last pants. Yeah, he has a nut fupa for sure. Like his nuts have migrated above his dick and are now just like making giggly eyes in his fupa area. Yeah, I feel like he's just putting those like bean bag things that you throw under there. I don't even know what he's doing, but apparently in his mind it looks really good, but you need to stop you need to stop sir Your terrifying bomb on the couch. Yeah, it's too much for him. So he's like, well I'm gonna have a polo match Because I want to get out of polo

It's just getting too dangerous, and I just want to have one last to rise I've got one last to rapolo or I before I retire from it. Nothing could possibly go wrong And then it gets like shot in the face I've never approved a follow because the word Poe isn't it and Low Speaking of how's Ashley Speaking of things you want to hit with the mallet how's Ashley? Speaking of things you want to hit with the mallet, how's Ashley? Speaking of divots of dirt you need to put under your feet, how's Ashley?

Speaking of cow patties, how's Ashley? We weren't talking about cow patties. Speaking of things that are one letter away from a deadly disease, it'll take children's ability to walk away from them. How's Ashley? He's like, well, it's been some pressure. I've been under pressure to give up all of them. They cut to the dad and he's like Now Thomas if we have to put you in the ground who's gonna be there to raise those children? Like maybe the mother who doesn't have a felony. Yeah, maybe that, maybe like everyone else who has been raising their children all this time. You A-hole. So Thomas is, yeah, let me see.

Thomas is like that Ashley. Yeah, Pat's like, well, she did come to me. I think she's having a hard time. Yeah, she's gone to literally every single person in charles and she's practically just like chasing down shoppers and goons being like oh well you know it's just things that we sort of hit sort of pump the brakes a little bit like Thomas and I like it's been a little bit of a rough patch and if you see it a part like man i don't know who you are i'm trying to get a maxi dress

my boy so my boy is like this makes me dress Pump the brakes, we pump the brakes And he goes well if she will focus on something other than my enormous food product you can currently see Try to get out of these wife jeans. I'm wearing Then maybe maybe I've been more attracted to I I mean, they're not totally off base. I mean, yeah, they're right. That she is, I mean, she's doing nothing. She's just there to obsess over.

I mean, she's there for the money. And so, like, she needs to have a life because she's going crazy, honestly. And it's making him crazy. And it's also sort of approved that she's not in it just to be a gold digger. But she's basically says she is there that she is. She says, I'm gonna ask her why you even with me? What do you see in me? And she's like, you're a good provider.

I don't know, my voice is stressful. She's just like, and that translates into you've got money. You, honey. Listen, well, no job, no interest, no friends, just hanging out in a apartment that Thomas pays for. The word that comes to mind is gold digger. Oh, I thought you were gonna say shrimp potion butternut almost got it. Now I am saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no crag. I ain't saying she's a gold digger but she ain't messing with no... What a buffalo hair. She is actually a takin' back.

So she's like, well, I think my advice is to make a commitment on... Oh, so next up, it's a crafty guy. Which I totally missed. I'm happy about that. And then we go to Shepp and Catherine sitting on a dock in the bay. Shepp's like, gosh, look, I got corn dogs. Oh, be careful. My hands still have raw meat on them. Oh, enjoy. And so they're sitting there eating the corn dogs. And it's so funny because I was just about to type, oh, it's so funny that they're sitting there. And there's a crow watching it as we as a whole joke about like the crow being like

those motherfuckers got a corn dog and lo and behold the crow's like no I am taking control of my life I am manifesting my destiny I want that corn dog I am getting that corn dog and it just goes with the corn dog and it was amazing yeah and I wasn't sure what was more disturbing that crows have gotten that ballsy or that chef still eats corn dogs from the side with his mouth up I think number option number three that chef that chef eats corn dogs on the side Even after a crow has put its claws on it Like that crow I I rebound it five times because you know I think rows are hilarious and I think it's hilarious

The crow tried to step to the ship and it like grabbed the corn dog. I tried to steal the corn dog away It probably would have gotten it if it hadn't been so grossed out watching Shut-eat with his mouth open the crow's like fucking I'm not touching this thing. They got to pick And then the crow just goes the other side just stairs at them. Oh my God. That was the crotus. Just like you need to land some corn dog manners. So one of these days, maybe these people will stop planning around with corn dogs and bring me some shrimp potion, but I know what I'm saying. I like the idea of

whenever we're not seeing Patricia on screen, her spirit is jumping into the nearest animal in a scene. Like Lance and Manus. Jingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,lingling,ling,ling,lingling,lingling,ling,lingling uh... well you're about here i'm gonna be having a ball uh... shaker tells that they're getting crowgars so uh... they're talking about how Catherine wasn't drunk and staff and he's like well gosh we're worried about you

and then he tells us uh... well i mean i did really think that she was on drug and stuff because to analyze the president one must look towards the past Such a shep is in I mean, it's true. I'm not Just like that with a corn dog with the size eating Madagat Corn dog looks like it was attacked by a zombie. It was attacked by a crow Which is like really the next like closest thing. He

is literally eating a corn dog that a crow touch. At that point just give it to the crow. I would never touch something like every skank in town. What does he care? Like the crow's the safest date he's had all week. You know, you know that Catherine's during and I'm like listen, like I know you're not lecturing me, but I really don't need advice from someone who's eating a corn dog that a crow touched. Well, that's the best thing about all this stuff with Catherine. Everybody who's lecturing her either has a giant martini in their hand, or has been to prison, or whatever, you know.

Yeah, or as a crow. Or as a crow. So the question is, is Catherine going to go to the polo match? And she's like, oh, well, depression started at the plantation, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, we see these flashbacks the season two, when she was stuck there, often the, often the, often the plantation like, Garsh, like that Garsh Rock Chester's first wife in the attic, Garsh. Jane here.

Whenever I see that, I think of the American Horror Story season where it took place in New Orleans, and there was like plantations and stuff. And Kathy Bates was like this, the ghost of like an old plantation owner who used to just be like so sadistic and terrible. And this whole episode I keep thinking that because Catherine's like, Oh, here's the basement that I lived in

when I had the baby. I was like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I mean, she, Kathy Bates down there. Yeah, she clearly seasoned to was living some sort of like low budget alarm of a reality because it was my god on a plantation with a new child and an absentee husband yeah that's full on that's like a bloom house productions right there and then when your husband does come home it's Thomas yeah sounds horrifying with some J.D. Wow. I'm the ghost of Christmas Chantra.

So Chelsea and Austin are on a date. And you know, look, at this point nobody's buying it. But of course, Austin, the second he breaks up with a girl, calls Chelsea. Because the second he called that girl was when Chelsea node him. Like, wouldn't bend. Yeah, exactly. He's like a ping pong

of rejection you know he really is so they order some oyster shots the bartenders like okay here they are and just you know to add a little saltiness I added some fish sauce just like fish sauce smells horrible and then she does it's just like oh my god Austin. Yeah. So... Good. The way there's like, look, we've seen you guys here before, so why don't you just let me order for you? I'm gonna order the never gonna make out with you anyway oyster shots. And I can provide these shrimp in post-butter. Michael, what are you doing here?

Sorry. Oh, Lune, I just have Michael showing up. And then Patricia's like a little Patricia's in the squirrel and the body of a squirrel on the bar just looking like dammit, Michael. Um, she's a little late but getting tossed around in the marker to the machine. Just watch, she's at the glass watching. I can see you. So Austin is like an independent woman now, because he tells her the story about how Victoria was like, God, you touched your arm or whatever.

And then through a drink at him. Did you see on Instagram that apparently she showed up later and through a rock through his window and he had to call the police? I did see that. I think that's really excellent. And I'm surprised that he's actually even protecting her like that. But you know, got to have some level of civility around here. Am I right? So this hilarious. Good for you, Victoria. I don't really like you very much, but he was

he was gaspiding you. I feel like so. Good for you with your brick in your windshield or whatever you did. Go enjoy that suit for yourself. So he's like, well I'm gonna I'm telling you this right now. I'm not gonna sit there and take some ultimatum from somebody little bit of like mouth moving mouth moving and Chelsea's like yeah but don't but would you want her hanging night with her ex if she broke her. She's also happens to be sitting on a mechanical bowl. Oh, underwater?

Look! They are basically at the kidney bottom. I don't know why I'm so mean to Chelsea. I actually really like Chelsea. I just... Chelsea's great. She's like the most level-headed normal person. I'm surprised she's even on display.

Right, no. She talks a lot, a lot, and... So she's like, Austin's like, what's done? It's done, which is why I called you. I'm like, that's her flattering Austin. Yeah, really? She's like, well, I was secure in where we were and I said we were because it was the past tense because it's over. I'm like, oh, wow, you really dropped the mic on no one who cares.

So, so it's like, what about you now that you know all about my dating life? What about your dating life, Chelsea? She's like, I just don't care of date. I'm in the same place. I'm happy. I like going with us alone. That's my dating.

And it's like, oh cool. Concentrating on getting mirrors back up at this long first. Ha ha. Trying to repaint that job wave mural that no one seems to like except for me. It's like, whoa, whoa. And it's like, well, is it you just hate the, uh, with a Charleston Tadings scene? No, maybe it's because you guys all suck here.

Okay. Everybody, so I think that's one thing that everybody on the show can agree on. The guys in this town just suck. Yeah. And you guys have it too easy. You don't have to work agree on. The guys in this town just sat cooking. You guys have it too easy. You don't have to work for anything. Or work at all, really. Yeah, exactly.

So she's like, you're one of my best friends. And he's like, oh, I'm going to cry. I'm like, OK, you two, you are having a very boring scene right now. We need to fast forward with this. Yeah, I'm going to cry. So he and my children went to Wonderland because like, what are they going to do? Yeah, exactly. So he invites her to winter wonderland because like what are they going to do, you know, yeah exactly so now Naomi and Chelsea are at a boutique

It's after the commercial break. So they're at the boutique Naomi is not in her boot anymore and she has shown up with a kitten that she rescued on the way over there And they get in parallel and a little diaper and of course my heart was like Does anybody else getting the feeling that the Naomi's just stealing pets at this point? I know. I like the way she said that. Like, she was just walking over there and just like scooped up the kitten along the way.

And put it in a diaper. You know, it's like mommy dead and dearest. Like, the cat is not even paralyzed back there. She's like, oh, the poor thing. It needs my attention. Like, stop munch housing by proxy, your cat. Yeah, she's like, I don't know how it happened, but my cat stabbed itself with a butter knife. Weird. Oh, she's yelling at the cat. Like,

like, listen, I need you to do, like, you're not the same cat that I fell in love with when I rescued you five minutes ago. Okay, I need you to go out there and do things, be ambitious. And you need to go out there and do things, be ambitious. Because I know. Ow. And she puts a tracker on the cat. So Chelsea is like, whoa, that cat's going through the nipple. Just thank you to the mama of that cat. I've got another friend with a baby.

Chelsea's already crying. It's just so beautiful to see your new mama. Hey, how does this big brown shaggy thing look on me? It make me look like I'm up yet. No, okay. Hey that little kitten Mickey Piper's bears every time. So then this music this music is hilarious. It's like Trixie's working on some new stuff. Yeah, what is this? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Southern like we got nothing to talk about so let's just talk about nothing. Yeah, Ashley just opens up her crazy mouth and has nothing to say So it's just like a lip sees, okay, it's like so a lip sees Green lip sees. I remember lip sees if it were up to me lip sees. This is where it's been more time

Peaceful away from the party's life, but I guess you're not ready for lip sees lip sees lip sees lip sees that yet She goes it's not as green as I remembered. I'm like actually it is the fall. Okay. Do not understand these things. Do you not realize that you guys are all bunded up and that their Christmas decorations coming up popping up in the background of these scenes?

It is the fall. It is not supposed to be green. Hmm. Wow, this place is wetter than I thought. It's raining. Wow, this place isn't next door is it? No, it's literally not next door. So she's like stabbing the car door with like, she's randomly had, she seems to have a butternite herself.

She's like stabbing the car door board. I think it's a vape. I think it's like one of those like, one of the vape side by. Oh, yeah. She's just like banging the door, which is like beautifully stitched by the way. And Thomas, now Thomas is like, it's almost the end of the season.

I'll bet that calling me a drug abuser, woman abuser rapist, I might as well make myself a victim. So he's like, oh my life, women have been attracted to me for the wrong things. I searched out fame I searched out fortune thinking I'd be more attractive, but I think I got it backwards Yeah, maybe over time. It's poor. Oh, man. Corporate's charming. You just can't find his Cinderella, can he? Who's supposed to what are the right reasons?

Can someone tell me what what the right reasons to be with Thomas are? I think Ashley actually has the right reasons Yeah, exactly like we're coming down and Ashley but she really is the smartest of us all She's like look he has no other good qualities except for the money and that's just what I'm gonna go for so there we go Yeah, at this point Ashley's like you have you have a fupa. So you owe me. She's really, she's really got herself in a twist about Thomas' partying. This has really become a thing for her sort of out of nowhere. And it's like, girl, girl, what were you expecting? Do you know, like, he's like a 75-year-old playboy? All right, he's gonna be partying so when you when she says little things like I like it out here

It's relaxed and away from the party life, but it's probably too boring for you Like you're not gonna get anywhere. He's still gonna put you in a bar You're not gonna shame him into not partying. Yeah, you're actually kind of rooting for her to be in the basement You know like it's weird how this so works. It's like, yeah, locker in the basement. So they arrive at the plantation, and they see the horses, there's mad dog and Vicky and TikTok. I'm like, these names, I mean, I know horses have strange names.

I thought it was funny that he has a horse named Vicky. And then also, like TikTok, I went and named a TikTok because she's like a clock. I'm thought about calling her clocky, but TikTok seemed better. I wanted to call a second hand, but don't buy things that way. You're like a clock too, Ashley.

I'm gonna call you a cuckoo, get it? So she's like, what is it she come? What does him ticked up come to me? Why? She starts banging the door with her vape. And the horse is just like, I'm not coming one step closer to crazy mother fuckers again, staying back here. Yeah, she's like, those horses are like, I know that's the face you see before you get turning to glue. Okay, I'm stand back here. So it's all awkward there having a sit down

and trying to talk, but they're not talking to each other. So it's like a long pause and then she goes, wow, it'll be so great to see you play a lip-seeing solo here. Such a beautiful hair flick place to have a wedding. I'm like, oh, and now Danny Elfman has scored this scene. It's like, it's like You know, they're really Bounce clocky. He's full heads, you know come off Yeah, so to grab as soon as she says it's a beautiful it would be an ideal place to have a wedding

He's like uh uh uh uh Hi, it's a little chilly. I think I'm just gonna grab a vest just grab it put it around me look where vest twins We're both wearing brown vest and warming up a little bit little bit okay we've sufficiently moved on from that last point that you said which we will not revisit great vest right am I right yeah I just need to leave just when you thought they couldn't be more hateful they are brown shirts so Thomas is like well I see you as a wonderful person with a wonderful career and that career made you here. Made me want to bring you here, but now it's like I'm some kind of, by your hand, sugar, by your hand, building a cool to sack. Daddy! Okay Thomas. What career? I mean, I know this, so ashtray was a hospice nurse, but like,

she doesn't really strike me as someone who's a career woman. Okay, like, I'm not even totally convinced she was a hospice nurse anymore. I know I'm questioning everything about her. Well, next week, it looks like Austin questions her and see who whips out her. See, it's a California! That's true. I should take it back, lest I get that thing thrown in my face, too. Yeah, she'll fly all the way back here just to shove that in your face and be like Yeah, so yeah, so Thomas calls himself a sugar daddy and then she's like well, I mean I want this to succeeding It's odd to bathe

She's like, but I just want to change the I just want to change the energy around here And I think that if you got a job you wouldn't be so energy around here and I think that if you got a job, you wouldn't be so dependent on needy and clingy and just really inherently awful all the time. And at least at first she was pretending like she's going to try and get her license and get a job, but she's not. She's like, you say this like I never worked. I hustled. I'm like, and that's, you know, foreshadowing.

And when you're a nurse, you work and I'll be working on the weekends You'll be out raging and I don't see how that'll change anything I'm like it seemed well was interesting. There was she kind of pivoted it away and it's like like yeah, so like that would that's like It wouldn't that actually be better wouldn't you rather him go out and be partying while you're working rather than partying while you're sitting at home? That's just don't want to work. Yeah, because she's like oh, oh, so everything's gonna chase just because I have a job Right. Yeah, right like she's so mad about having to get a job Well, she's trying to she's trying to like change it on to the fact that the issue is that he's parties too much

It's not that she needs to get a job And then she was like well if I have to get a job, I want you to party less Which is like it's not really the same. I mean, I understand like they did making sacrifices, but when one, and I understand, okay, so fine, she does feel like he goes out too much, so she wants to see more of him. But like, I think like it's probably more imperative

that she gets a job or gets like a life. Like she has no life, okay. Like, like, why don't you start start doing some things and then maybe he'll see, if then maybe he'll see if it's worth changing his life for you, which I know it sounds actually kind of like misogynist a little bit like, well, if she does, like, let's see if she gets rise up to his standards, but kind of in this situation, as much as I hate to say it, I kind of think it's this. Well, he is a fucking misogynist. And so is she.

Like, they're both terrible people. Yeah. And this is my favorite part of the episode, because I guess, well, if I'm such a terrible person, she goes, oh, if I'm such a terrible person, you're both right. Yeah. That's the thing about hypotheticals.

Take out the if, okay. So it's's like maybe we should just call it quick like you did with work in The next step is like you did with conditioner Next up is polo Yeah, let's go play some polo everybody else play some Thomas rabbit our polo where he hits the ball It goes into your womb gross into a baby and he locks you into a basement. I can't even believe that pose. I was even legal, such a dangerous spot, such a dangerous, beautiful spot. All the things I can't believe are legal are okay. And I can't believe that. Oh, that's not legal. Got it. Got it.

So too inefficient. Very dangerous. I can't believe these top pants illegal. I swear I'm about to bust right out of them. I should be putting jail for that. So Seb arrives with Craig and Craig seeing this straightening out his Capri pants or whatever. And Seb's like, Oh, ours don't you work undershirts anymore. Is this a laundry issue?

Like you just board Raggedy onto some meatball's rafsy. And Craig's like, maybe. Well, I mean, but I get it because Craig has recently gone into wearing like outer wear with no shirt underneath, which is kind of like, it's kind of annoying. It's like if you see someone in a hoodie with a no shirt underneath, you're like, hmm. Unless you have a really good body,

but like generally it looks a little weird. Hmm. I also like, I'd like you have a really good body, but like generally it looks a little weird. I also like Katherine. I ignore that because I've been showing up in sweaters without a shirt underneath. Well sweaters, I'm not talking sweaters and sweaters. I'm talking like jackets, like jackets or like pullovers, you know. Jackets, I love when people wear members only jackets

with no shirt underneath, that shit's hilarious. Thank you, Hollywood, for everything you give us. By the way. Um, I also like Katherine and Danny getting ready. And Danny, Danny has this like outfit on and there's like a red hat. And he's like, oh, are you going to wear that? And she's like, I can't, I was thinking about it, but I'm too much of a baby to do it. I can't do it. I can't wear the red hat.

It's like the red hat. Oh my God, Ness. Will you wear the red? Could you ever summon the courage to wear the red hat? Oh, the South. So they're talking about how crazy it is that Catherine was invited to the the prom or whatever the ball. Yeah. And she goes, when I got the invite, I was like, am I getting served? I was like, am I getting served? Yeah, and Chef basically, he's the flashback of Chef sitting with Whitney and Patricia, and he's basically saying, like, gosh, yeah, Catherine picked me up from surgery.

She's doing really well and Patricia just goes, huh? She used the proper forkid dinner First just like hmm Now chef I love point are you going to describe the fact that you brought a crow into my house? Would you like some more butterspotch strips her Michael? So next step let's see here. Okay, so now we're at this polo match. So I've got notes everywhere. So let me scroll. I'll let you get yourself oriented because I can already tell you're in a tizzy and I don't want to. I don't want to. I'm not one tizzy.

You're not. I'm just like, no, I'm not in tizzy. I'm just like, I just saw a wall of notes and I was like, okay, here. Be careful. You don't need to talk about the blades of grass and the marshland and how Thomas's parents fit and Which horse is that like I have too many of us. Okay, so Thomas is getting on this The announcer goes Exciting day of polo here in the Brooklyn plantation It's Thomas Wavinnell on a horse. I was like this is the best person you could get Thomas Wavinnell on a horse. I was like, this is the best person you could get. I'll tell you, the one who really sold the show was the girl

who kept them blowing the air horn. Like every two minutes into this episode, they just cut to her, she's like, ha ha ha ha. That was you know. Most exciting time of all of us. So Ashley gets there in leather pants and like slams the door behind her.

Yeah, I was wearing a black hat. Like, eh, I'm angry. I'm mourning my relationship. And so, Shep is like in the stand. There's like that, this like area where everyone's standing and watching. And Shep is in there like cheering on. He's like, Teereth, yeah Teereth.

And he's like, thank you. And Nash is standing right there. He's like, oh, he'll acknowledge you, but he won't acknowledge me. I'm like, you are such a messy bitch. Sorry. Like, you're had like a fun event. And like, you are like, get like, you were spreading all your issues to everyone. Well, they're just trying to enjoy it. So this stupid polo match, you got to like, yeah, really is. She really is a virus. My God. So she can't, and she just says the same thing over and she won't stop talking.

Yeah. You know, so she's just like, well, we've got to break. We've got to break a little. We've got to break. We've got to trouble. I'm excited. And so like, this is my voice is because of anxiety. I want to feel you know what I mean. I don't want to be silent.

Like I picked up my installer life. She came over here and like, I don't know. I'm just pumped to break. She just pumped to break. She's up. It's like, well, I'm just trying to watch the game here. You know? Yeah, she's like, your face is like a crayon. That's all I can say right now.

She's got so much makeup on. Oh my god. And so she's like, I don't want to waste my time. And she goes, well, maybe that's what you should think of that. And she goes, would you date me? Would you date me if I break up with Thomas? Would you? Would you date me?

Would you date me? He's like, um. So thenmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Like, whoa, hashtail! Look at that! It's a blast! Oh, JD, hi. JD, you look good. I look good. Do you want to date? Do you pump the brakes? I pump it the brakes with Thomas right now. You date me, right?

Like, you date me, right? You and Elizabeth are on the rocks, right? Okay, what about me? That girl's offering herself around like, put shrimp in better. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm like, it's like, finally! So, uh, so then Catherine Danie show up and Catherine's like,

it's like, arm, the memories, and Ash is glaring at her from across the group, you know. And they're also sort of dressed the same, which is kind of funny. You know, everyone's wearing weird, they have weird dressing culture. It's like, okay, everybody get on your felt hats. It's the plantation times.

Okay, so when did that become? Fagger, Vance, Esk. Yes. So yeah, now she's like trying to watch the game. She's like, he isn't scoring. It's like, shut up. I wish I could say something prettier than that, but all I can really say is shut up go to shut up mountain

Find if this maybe you'll see if someone scores at shut up mountain Wow, this is like the place where we live. I walk these stairs the smell of the barn and have a screen doors land It has not changed one. Oh my god. They still have my buzzer on ow Whenever she goes past the basement lines They still have my buzzer on out whenever she goes past the basement lines Invisible fence. Yeah, I think this thing taken out of my neck god damn So now Ashley is venting to JD like she's now moved on to JD and she's like, oh well, you know, we're just pumping the praise. Wah! And then Chelsea, Chelsea meanwhile,

is now talking to Naomi and Craig, or Naomi, well, they're all sort of a group. And she's like, I wanna know if you and Craig are gonna go together. And Craig's like, well, if we do go together, then that means we're making a step towards getting back together and initially now I was like, oh yeah, you know, I was thinking about asking you Craig and then as soon as he says that she's like, oh definitely not

Definitely not going she's like he's right and trust me. That's the first time I've ever said that Okay Then it goes back to what's her buns still talking to JD and she's like oh my god Oh my god, and then like I talk to his dad every day and like his dad's like, you're still around. I just had to stick to it in this also importantly with Craig and the ball is that Austin is like like to us. He's like, dude, this is like the easiest like lie to avoid. You didn't have to lie like Like basically Craig is taking that girl,

the new girl, the Krista girl girl. He's taking her to the ball, but he's not telling Naomi. And Austin, Austin is saying like, dude, like you should be telling her now. Instead of acting like maybe you might take Naomi also. Yeah, well Craig is just trying to make sure he's not going to get dumped before the ball comes. That's true too.

So then Austin's like, well, I mean, I understand how you feel, bro, because we're just the same. He's like, uh, we're a little bit different, okay? Like we were about to get married. Oh, Chelsea's one who's, uh, was saying that. Like, well, I understand what it's like. And he's like, no, you don't. We're about to get married. Okay. Do you know what it's like to lose against them oh? I guess Just crying My crown right now Yeah, I would give you a hand anchor chiff, but my hand is in a archaic device that prevents me from reaching into my pocket I'm gonna be like yeah, you're fucking you're gonna be a ball

I'm getting it. So now they're serving oysters and cocktails at the main house because the match is over. So they all sort of, they all sort of move over there and Catherine's at peace at the plantation now. And so now Thomas sits down with JD and Craig. And it's like, cheers. And now they start talking about Ashley.

And Thomas's like, like well she gets mad about X blind Z and I said look I mean I just bought you $20,000 worth of clothes so and you know what like you know what he he he knows what role he's playing in this relationship okay arm he knows what role he's playing in this relationship, okay arm. He knows what role he's playing Okay, so he doesn't get a pass here But before when we're talking about like okay, like should like he should stop parting as much and she should She should get a job. He's buying you $20,000 worth of clothing and it's not like oh cuz he bought it You have to do what he says but like maybe just like try try to like

Do like get a job like try to try to like, he's spending like a huge amount of money on you, which is not necessarily the same as giving like an emotional investment. But at least try to be like, you know what, like the least, you know, in return I can do something, something, something in life. Yeah, they're just so both terrible like just can't I mean just both of you both of you drive off into the sunset, okay? Yeah, and and like if

If they're in a relationship and if he if she feels like he's partying too much like he I mean he really should like maybe consider how like rethink how he spends his time doesn't have to stop partying But like spend more time with her or bring her along or whatever, or she just has to know that he's a partier and that's just what it is. But the point is this, I think that $20,000 in clothing, that is so much more money. Well, he's making it much bigger now,

because wasn't it $10,000? I mean, that's still a lot, but he's doubling the price, okay? But that was $10,000 in that one shopping trip, but you know, that's not the only shopping trip. It's got bracelets. I don't know He spent a lot of money and I and I it sounds off I hate to I even hear my words and it almost sounds so old-fashioned like well He spent a lot of money so she has to do this or that like no one has to do anything because it's a gift, right?

But it's like what is she bringing to the relationship? Oh God what is he bringing nothing? When is really dresses? Oh, you know, they're both gross. They're really depending on him. I'm more like he is using her because she's a hot pizza ass that'll go after Catherine on national TV and she's using him for her his money. They're both horrors. Yes. Yes 100% and they can both suck TikTok's dick as far as I'm concerned. Well, she may already have, but the thing is this, I guess it's not so much that I'm defending Thomas. It's more like I'm just sort of attacking her and saying like seriously, they're like, get a job.

Like get some friends. Like be a gold digger, but also like, you can also have a life. Yeah. Be a well-rounded gold digger. Yeah, good luck with that. Yeah. With that advice, getting across. And then you've got JD sitting well, good luck, Gold digger. Yeah. Good luck with that. With that advice, getting across.

And then you've got JD sitting there. He goes, what's up, boss? Ah! So apparently as she went to Craig and told Craig, like, hey, if you were a few years older, I would totally be dating you instead, which is, I actually don't believe that. I don't think.

I do. I totally believe it I think she went to every man of the cask is she's trying to stay on the show at this point oh yeah well no I don't believe for the reasons that he believes it which is like was that like she's saying that like in a few years I'll be established and wealthy and therefore like she'll want to date me I'm like no you will not be established in a few years yeah but she is definitely saying instead of if you were a few years older, she's saying, if you had actual money, you know, I could be with you instead.

And JD's like, whoa, who goes into a relationship with a backup plan? Wow. Like, well, the best bet Liz Whist she did. Yeah. Yeah. And Craig's like, yeah, like, in the beginning Nomi, I'd come home and see her car parked in the driveway and I'd be like, oh my God, I'd be so excited. And then like, like, but

if you see, if you see their car and your heart sinks, like, that's bad. So like, do you still hope to see her in your driveway? I love, I love that that's the big romantic thing. That was also on the good fight finale for anybody who watches that. Is that all saying of you're happy if you get home and you see your mate's car in the park in the driveway and you're actually happy that it's there instead of annoyed? Then that's how you know that's your person.

But girl, I drive into Ross Dressford List and I'm happy to see every car there. And I think that just means I'm a whore. We go to the car. He's like a car. He's like a guy who's driving that home. Yeah. And Thomas just goes, well, you know what? I'm small enough to not look at the sky when I'm walking through our cow field.

Which I thought was funny, but I didn't really understand how to address the situation. Yeah, I don't either. And JD's like, yeah, cause you'll step and poop. Yeah, thanks JD. And then JD's like yeah, cuz you'll step and poop like yeah, thanks JD And then JD goes so are you looking up? Oh, are you looking at the cow field and then Thomas is staring at Ashley? I'm like, okay the coffee. I guess the idea I guess the idea is that like like you if you have your head if you have your head in the clouds If you're not paying attention you could step in a big old pile of shit and he may not be paying attention to his

Really the fact that he's stepping in he already has stepped in the shit like he's actually he's been in the Cal field for a while Yes, he is the Cal field okay. He's the shit you step in it's he is basically like a piece of shit And then they got windy and so the shit rolled over onto another piece of shit He's that dried kind of shit with a fupa Okay, so castor and a Thomas are talking. And she's like, great gathering, great job. He's like, well, your home, some arms are hurt. Good for you, Catherine.

And so, Ashlyn, Ash, Ashlyn, Ashly is now talking to just some random lady. Random lady. It is hilarious. And this poor lady is just like, get me out of here. She's like, well, you know, like, we decided to pump the brakes. And like, this is my here. She's like well, you know like we decided to pump the brakes And like this is my voice like up up the brakes After spec Thomas because he goes for women who are opinion and I have opinion right now. Oh my god

She's talking to Thomas. She's scary Look at out the female. Yeah, my god. Me while chef is shocking in oyster. He's like, oh man look at that Garsh hey, oh, Kro just took it I'll still eat it and Jalsey's luck. Somebody didn't eat their food. That's a sin Which I don't really have anything to say about I just thought it was funny that she cared enough That's what I didn't eat their food. She like got a protect mother earth guy That's my good eat there for you. I got to protect mother earth guy. If only the head is shot of that romantic fish sauce

to go with it. Can't believe so. I left over all these poached shrimp and butter sauce. It's a Thomas and Catherine are talking and she's like, how are you? And he's like, well, my relationship is a bit stressful. Oh, my God, geez. Here we go with Thomas's

victim. He's like, I've been at success in my personal life. I let people get the May hands best of me. They drive me from point A over here with these May hands, the point B, which is right here in the center where my fingers are slightly touching each other. So over here, points C where my hands were apart. And flickering, describing something, no one will understand. Do you know what I'm saying? You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the times. So get up stand up. Am I right? Stand up for your rights, Catherine?

His quotes are off the charts. I said, Tomas is quoting quotes. He's just doing quotes. Yeah, everybody else is leaving. And then Wilson, the gay, is jumping all over Austin. He's like, stop flirting with me, Wilson. And then Ash is like, well, is anybody going inside? Pumping the brakes.

I'm going inside. I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm going inside, I'm overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm going inside, and then she goes inside. She's like, hello, am I the only lizard in this house? Oh, I guess I'm alone. Yeah. So then outside again.

You just feel like the sound of footsteps is everyone's running to the back door. Like, get out. So outside Thomas is just mangling literature. He's like to then own self-true. Like okay, you've already failed that one. It was the best of times. It was the better of times. K Sarah Sarah, I dated her once. She was a real bitch. To be a lot of Beaver to be a lot of beaver.

And it's not past his day, that can't not be false to another. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. Thankfully, you don't eat the cat. All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. They have their entrances and their exits and Their girlfriends. They don't get their jobs Wonder when what's gonna happen In captains like hey Shakespeare so now that you're dating her do you think I'm less psycho? So basically they just have a dumb conversation about whatever and then Thomas comes inside and

about whatever. And then Thomas comes inside and he sits down with Ashley and she's like, so how is your conversation with Catherine? And he's like, well, I don't even actually remember what he said. What did he say? It goes good, nice, peaceful. She's like, well, I don't even get to say bad half to people who are here. It's like, yeah, because they ran from you, like the fucking cow pat that you are okay. Yeah, she's like well With um chat and JD and it was good. I mean they won't commit to being my boyfriend's yet But otherwise like I don't know So but they're all like everyone's like how's it going? How's your relationship? I'm like I guarantee not a single person asked that not a single person. Yeah

Nobody asked that who says that has your relationship Yeah and ask that, not a single person. Yeah. Nobody asks that. Who says that? As your relationship. Yeah. She's like, I know it's weird because everybody out there suggested I get my breaks checked. This is hot. It's weird because I keep getting re-rendered because I keep pumping my breaks so much. I was told that I somewhat, I got arrested,

someone that I was trying to do a gang initiation, but I was just pumping breaks. She's like, you know, and like they're asking and, you know, I can't pretend like it's wonderful, but I wanted to get better. I mean, breaks and all. I mean, pumping the breaks and I drove through another puddle and I was like, God, I got to pump the breaks again. I just don't know what else to do. Pump the break, pump the, ow, ow, my neck. God, and I knew that was coming. I pumped up myself. And he's like, this is not what I want.

I have to be true to myself. I'm a man who I like to celebrate the presence of many different women like Alaz, Alam Haas, who I haven't even seen since you came into my life. I need a woman with a bridge named after her. That's what I'm saying. Okay. He's already told her what he wants her to do. And she's like, I just don't know how to fix it.

And he's already said it 20 times in this episode. Yeah. So he's like, if I can't be true to myself and you can't be true to yourself. And she's like, but like, and it's the Ashley mom log, which is just so cracked out and crazy. Yeah. If it ever ends right now, I do it over here, because I learned so much about me, Kyle. No regrets.

See where they're for a reason. And I don't know what I do. I don't want to throw into the towel. I think this is so much. And I love you so much. And I have to fit in, miss. It's OK. I want to say I want to wave a try.

So give me that opportunity. Say I tried, Kyle. I tried, Kyle. Ha ha ha ha. It is so over-the-top and dramatic. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, and some money and like stop being so crazy all the time and you guys get back to like having normal sex instead of hate sex. Yeah. Um, and then, and by the way, they showed a clip earlier in the show of when Catherine was trapped in that plantation and she's like cleaning the baby, like changing the diaper and Thomas is just sitting at the table going, dinner's supposed to be ready. I know what it's pretty. I'm trying. BAM. Like, it makes me crazy that on this channel, well, actually,

every channel girls are fighting over these pigs. It makes me so sad about our society that like we we somehow are our our our if the nature versus nurture or whatever that we are like socializing women to fight over these douchebags these land-ass guys. It's terrible. So next time, Instagram says Ashley is a high-end S-court. Yeah, so the season finale looks so good. That preview felt like it was like 10 minutes long because it's just everyone. Naomi was hilarious and she's just full-bitched motion, angry at Craig, angry at gloves, angry at everything. Catherine and Ashley actually says some things that are so nasty. I cannot wait because we're going to be picking this apart in Kansas City

and just when Ashley says you're nothing but an egg donor, I cannot wait to hear the cheers and the booze and hisses from the audience. It is going to be not an awesome course, not an awesome course. Don't you dare even throw a balloony sandwich at us! It'll be amazing. Yep. And we're not doing crap it's mail back today because I full-on forgot to post it. So I'm gonna post it and we'll get some new questions for everyone for the next time around. Yeah everybody we sure love you. We will talk to you next week. Yeah, bye, everyone. Bye.

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