Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Just Smile and Don’t Hurt Anyone

Episode Date: August 23, 2019

Part 1 of the "Southern Charm" reunion blasts off with Shep denying he's a jerk (even though he's made everyone cry). From there we cover all sorts of hot-button topics: Kathryn's sobriety, Craig's Adderall addiction, Rice Krispie Treats — you know, all the good stuff. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey guys, this has been... Before we start the show, I just want to give you a fair warning that Ron and I faced a plague of technical difficulties while we recorded this episode today So if you hear any scrambled audio or strange gaps or pauses Sorry about that. We tried to edit out as many of them as we could but we probably missed a few and also we say several times at this episode What's gonna be crappens on Demand in video, which we tried to do, but like I said, those technical issues, they were a beast. So unfortunately, don't listen to us, we lie, this is not available for Crappens on Demand this week. Sorry everyone, and I hope you all enjoy this show.

Hey everyone, welcome to Watcher Crappens, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real House where there's a kitchen island, it's a cartoon on YouTube, go look at it and watch it and enjoy it and love it and share it and do the exact same thing for Rose Pricks, which is a bachelor podcast that is co-hosted by the hilarious and wonderful Ronnie Carrom, my co-host, over here on WaterCrap and say Ronnie what's Hi, Bane! Lovely to see your face today on Crapins on Demand. If you want to see our faces, go to patreon.com slash watercrapins and make sure you sign up for the Crapins

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We have a lot to offer you. But for right now, the thing that we're offering is companionship. these, explore our Patreon, we have a lot to offer you. But for right now, the thing that we're offering is companionship. Actually, we're offering Southern Charm reunion. But before we get into that, people are probably like, well, what about this whole, all this breaking news about Bethany? Well, we have great news. We've actually released an entire episode dedicated to Bethany and Krapans mailbag

So look for that on your feed, which you should be subscribed to So go check that out if you want to hear our thoughts on Bethany leaving real housewives of New York But for now it's all about Southern charm reunion parts one We excited did you enjoy it Ronnie? There was a lot of gars in a lot of garsh on this episode course, course. We excited. Did you enjoy it, Ronnie? There was a lot of garshan. A lot of garshan.

On this episode, this episode, lots and lots of garshan. Wow, these men are pieces of shit. So, wasn't that fun to watch? I love it. Austin being a piece of shit, shit being a piece of shit, Craig was fine, Craig you're fine. Yeah.

But those other two, what monsters? And Austin really came into this thinking he was the good guy, which was hilarious He was trying to bethany everybody and like you know give the answers for everybody and the interviews and talk And why would you do that? Like shut up. Go pull your dick on the internet. I'm sick of you. Yeah seriously. You know what was at the weirdest part for me for this entire hour? Was that you know at this point we are so conditioned to how these reunions run and what sort of things to expect. And it felt like Andy was constantly teeing up a clip package, and then he wouldn't. He'd be like,

well, this season, Austin went from grabbing his dick to grabbing a beer. Here are some of the most memorable moments of Austin. So Austin, what did you think about being on the internet? I was like, wait, wait, where the clips go? It was so weird. He did it like three times. Oh, that's funny. Well, we start as we normally do, but this time, no one lives here, so they've all got their trailers outside. So they're all doing makeup trailers and stuff.

And Cameron's talking to Chelsea. You know what? Just another macro camera. It's shut up. Just shut up, Cameron, with your judgey ass. Okay, you're not the Bethany either, talking over everybody and answering everyone's questions and then judging every decision they've ever made in their life.

Okay, you went to an aquarium. That's what you did this year. You went to an aquarium. You went to an aquarium. It's more than I did. And you let your naughty kid put his hands all over the glass that someone else had to clean up later. That was your season. So please get off your high horse.

I don't mind Cameron's judgy-ness. Sometimes I feel like we need judgy-ness on this show, like, because if we're not gonna be doing it, then, you know, like, I don't know, sometimes I feel like I have judgy thoughts and I need to hear them, like, validated by Cameron. Every now and then. Not all of them. I don't align with all of them,

but I appreciate her judgy- them. I don't align with all of them, but I appreciate her judging us I don't know I just I'm appreciated as a character member and what a cast member whatever but during reunions It's like can someone else talk you know this whole thing is Cameron and Austin Giving their opinion on everything like Cameron. You're nowhere ever. So why don't you just be quiet? She does all the talking because if it's not her it'll be Chelsea saying Well, I really don't know how I feel about that, but I like it. I'm like, I think I'd rather go back to Cameron I prefer Chelsea as the narrator personally. I would rather Chelsea be like well, I know No, what are you thinking? But I'm thinking doing some kind of drug

But I'm not gonna say which one is Previously on something trod Austin wasn't being a man, which is pretty typical and some kind of drug but I'm not gonna say which one is previously on Southern Troop Austin wasn't being a man which is pretty typical and chef was just being chef crazy chef previously on every episode of Southern Choms have been invented Austin can't take off a beer cap with his teeth Austin doesn't know how to hunt. So speaking of manliness. Oh, by the way, this is a crap and it's on demand videos today, everybody.

So we are on video. So if you want to watch this on your smart TVs, go for it. Yeah. So speaking of manliness, we then see, we're seeing all these different clips of backstage. And we see the three guys hanging out backstage eating yogurt parfaits, which I thought was hilarious Actually, just chef in Austin, but they're just sitting there eating yogurt parfaits and Austin's like trying to be so like Whitty and clever and he's like isn't it funny that chef is once again the elder statesman

Isn't that hilarious like no Austin you know Be quiet eat your parfait and try not to get it all over your chest Yeah, and chefs like because somebody age more rapidly please cars No one is gonna rage more or age more rapidly than you or rage okay, that's like your super power Yeah, I just felt bad that chef did not have a poncho with all that parfait like spewing out of Austin's mouth You know like that the last thing that Austin needs is to have parfait in his mouth. It's like a combination of a lot and granola coming at you. Yeah, both of them eat with their mouths just like topping wide open. You know, all you need is Cameron right next to him.

And then you'd have like, yeah, you need the ponchos from getting getting your soccer covered in food like you're at Orga, Orga. Orga, I see where. Yeah, exactly. Orga, or show. So they're sort of like drumming up a big rivalry for the reunion, which is between Danny Madison because their beef has like apparently not been squashed.

And then Austin, then we cut to Austin. And I guess here in makeup is like getting his hair ready. I don't know why. It's just like, he has just sort of like an octagon of hair and doesn't need anything to be done to it. And so he is like, they put these like little burets in his hair, the little leaf burets and he's like talking about like... Burets. Oh yeah, Burets. Sorry. Be nice if you wore a buret, dude. I do like him think, I do like thinking of Austin with multiple burais on

He just has a stack of burais trying to be sophisticated and chef is just staring at him like gosh Yeah, and he's like um look it's difficult for me So I have you in my ear. I have you in my ear. I have you in my ear So much going on my hip one of trying so many people answering for me. How about grow a pair dude? How about fucking grow a pair? And I love that you're being the biggest whist with brez in your hair.

Like if there needs to be a Snapchat filter for someone it needs to be Austin, cause it would be like Republican congressional hair you know, like congressman hair. Yeah, he definitely has congressman hair with Berets, which that's why the Berets were so funny because they just they were like because the Berets were almost like like 90s Berets, right? Like someone would like like I'm sure what's her face that we always say Tom Sandevol looks like, you know? Oh yeah, but I forget her name. You know, she's always always

playing at the market and horror store. Claire, like the combination of Claire and the ball berets with Republican set of her. That is a very revolved, a burret. Kind of a weird thing to say, how accurate. It's like the weirdest mashup of all time. Yeah, so Chelsea and Cam, we're cutting

between the different trailers. And Chelsea's talking to Cam. And Cam's like, you can show that nipple. Oh. And Chelsea's like, we're cutting between the different trailers and Chelsea's talking to Cam and Cam's like you can show that nipple And Chelsea's like well everyone sees Farah I'm great and I like no one's making all contact with each other and Cam's like well, I have a clear conscience So can't say the same for everyone else this group though. Oh, God. Here we go. Yeah Yeah, she was getting ready. She's gearing up I was like, oh God, here we go. Yeah, yeah, she was getting ready.

She's gearing up. And Naomi's also like gearing up ready to fight because she says she's going to stand up for Danny if Danny doesn't stand up for herself, which means Naomi will be standing up for Danny. I mean, Danny's not. Danny, then she adds some smodiness in there where we know she's going to be coming for Catherine too

because she's like, well, I'll stand up for Danny if she doesn't stand up for herself because I know Catherine's not going to. That's true. Well, because Catherine has that like low simmering beef with Danny ever since their tree house excursion. Yes, and also Naomi has that thing where she's going to decide who's what women are going to get to be on the show. Like they all gang up and they're like, remember that dog washer from last year that they never let on because Naomi was mean to her.

What was from a parker? Paisley. What was her name from last year that they wouldn't let on the show. Naomi yelled at her. Oh, they're a thirsty bitch. Yeah, Peyton. Yeah, so they're always like trying to be the block of who's going to be able to come on the show and who's not.

They're like housewives. So the guys walk out onto the set and they've like built a bar on the set and so of course the guys flock to it and then they're like very sad that there's no actual liquor in the bottles But there is a sign that says on special Trap Hop, which is like the first time that that beer has ever been acknowledged outside of like Austin's living room. I know but it's still not available. It's like the Kenya haircare product when it was just like filled with water I love it. Yeah, exactly. So then, then I just cut to like the trailer of the reunion. I didn't take any notes on that. I don't know if there was anything of note that you enjoyed. I mean, I enjoyed all of it, but I just figured we would be getting to it. Okay, so now everyone sits down and it's the Andy

halos to everyone. So he's like, Catherine, love your dress. Is it from Gwyn's, which I appreciated? Yeah, I'm saying, no, but they do sell this brand Andy and I want everyone to notice I covered two thirds of my forehead with my bangs, y'all. And then let's see, he goes to Craig. He's like, so Craig, have you made me a tooth fairy pillow? Like, you, you know, you're making on the show.

Craig's like, actually, yeah, I made one for, I made one for Benjamin, little Benjamin. He's like, where is that? I don't see it. I will see it. He's like, well, you were already, you were already focusing on my pillow. So, you know, I just wanted to say thank

you for focusing on my pillows. And then it cuts to like, target patio pillows. So then Andy, he's basically like, Chelsea, like your house. Oh, do too, I do too. It's great. A lot of men come in here, not like Austin. Oh, he's not a man. And he's like, so, shit, bringing the fun on tap tonight, huh?

And Chef's just like leaned back on the couch, man spreading. Just like doing every fucking disgusting Chef think he can. Yeah, to be disgusting, Chef. Yeah, exactly. And then Andy's like, Naomi, you wearing LeBai. She's like, yes, I am, which made me happy, because I love LeBai! Yeah, and then Austin, of course, how's it feel to be an internet sensation?

I mean, back to your beast, am I right? And Austin's like, well, she know. That was, that was insane. Insane, it's like, it's insane to be in that video on the internet, it's insane right now. And Cameron's husband is watching the baby now because he's on vacation anyway. But then let's move into the segment about women power.

After bonding last season, the ladies crushed it in love and at life. But while women crushed the world, the men still run around the school yard, and then it shows all the guys like, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff, pff then it shows all the guys like, they're all mad. Yeah, exactly. This was another one of those examples where I thought we were gonna like throw it to a clip package where I was like, oh okay we're gonna see like all the women like being awesome and the men being shitty but instead we just like just like turn to the man, et cetera. And so this commenters like, women, you know,

the women are queens and the man are drugs have no jobs. Even the least stable woman on the show actually has a nine to five. What do you say about that? And she's like, gosh, I mean, it's so rude. And then, you know, asking about like, well, you have a trust fund. Like, wouldn't you say that's a motivation killer? And he's like, okay, to be fair, I haven't touched my trust fund in a long time, not for like five days, garsh. Yeah, you haven't trusted it, but you're living in a house fucking bot with it, you ask.

So then you literally have so much money you bought a piece of land that you're not even allowed to develop. Yeah, and then the question is Austin, you're a loser, okay, and you're dating people that aren't losers. So are you going to get your act together? Are you going to date less motivated women? He's like, um, I'm sorry, like, maybe there was a beret in my ear, but what was the question? What was the question? The panel would like to know? Do some like a do some like a question sounds like a bash okay? Sounds like a bash.

And then ship goes, none of this matters by the way. Your existence does not matter. The world is six billion years old. We're just a speck of sand. A speck of sand on a beach of sand, okay? Just try to smile and not hurt anyone. How about that? Where did this existential side of Shep come from? Where all of a sudden we're just like specks of sand and a giant beach? Where did that come from?

Littracha, where else? We're just specks of sand, and as one spec of sand, who likes to hump many other specs of sand, I don't feel like I should be judged by that. Yeah, I'm looking up specs of sand. I just remember it from that lily-tomblin' one woman's play. Oh, but now I just got a bunch of sand companies, so whatever. I don't know, I'm not smart enough to know what literature it's from, so I will credit Lily Tomlin.

We'll just say Sartre or something, existentialist. So yeah, Sartre is like all of a sudden, it was sort of like a weird thing to say. I almost feel like it was his way of trying to like do some like preemptive damage control. Like he knows he's gonna go through it so he's just gonna try to adopt some sort of like neo hippie existential we're just saying let's just smile and he's like so were you smiling and not hurting anyone this season

he's like ah not necessarily but you punch first and all punch last. That's also what Sarger said. That's what he said. Yeah, especially if you're a woman. So then Austin's like whoa, whoa, look at Shab, look at Shab. So Austin is pulling a camera today where he has something to say about everything and he's just judging everybody on every little thing like sir You're the person who got caught in a threesome and it spent all season pulling on his dick, okay? I don't want to hear it from you Austin. Yeah, I don't want to hear it I don't want to hear it all and like let's not forget that um Your beer is a failure. So there. Let's not forget that got him got him

There let's not forget that got him got him And he's like who mature faster the boys are Palmer and cameras like ha ha Well, you know, I have seen changes in these two shipping Craig. Well look at them. Look at chef Man spreading wearing about three inches of makeup to cover how drug he is and still nowhere alive So he's doing great camera stop kissing everybody's ass, know cameras always kissing the guys ass I know well she's like well you know shepherd I mean he has matured I mean oh is that why is there so much sand on you shepherd oh okay you're living your metaphor okay got it you know Palmer a little Palmer is maturing quickly I mean she is such a scorpion she is strong willed she doesn't sit still I mean is. She's got the greatest sense of humor

She can speak ta. So yeah, I guess she has already eclipsed them. Yes Yeah, and we see Cameron's biggest moment of the entire season. Cameron and Aquarium with her kid riding around Yeah, but they are trying to like parade that clip out as much as Austin with the threesome I'm like, I don't know if we need to keep having a call back to Cameron at the aquarium. I mean, I love an aquarium. It's my favorite thing to do. Let's go to an aquarium.

Don't know if I need to watch a little baby walking down the aquarium walls. Yeah, they just show it over and over. Like guys, enough, okay. Cameron, get a storyline. Although now that Cameron's husbands come on and got pissed off, maybe we'll get one. Yeah, I also, by the way, like, this is annoying to me.

It annoys me when Cameron's like, oh, you know, Palmer, she is strong will. She's a Scorpio and she does not sit still. I'm like, that's what all toddlers do. They're all strong willed and don't sit still. Stop like trying to Scorpio. My baby poop's in the diaper. What a Scorpio. Am I right? trying to score people. My baby poop's in the diaper. What a scorpio in my right.

My baby picks up things and drops them. I mean, Scorpio. Is it Cheerio or is it Scorpio? E-M-D. Okay, so my kid eats Cheerios. Scorpio alert. It's just like very basic observations that like, like every toddler is like, so I just like,

just roll my eyes. So he's like, well, least struggled between watching you stay at home and work. What is the deal with that? Weren't you a party girl? I remember real world and she's like, oh yeah, Andy, I mean, I'm a party. And she was like, no, you didn't.

What does that even mean you party? So, well, one time I made out with somebody in a hot tub, okay, I never did drugs never did drugs. So we and me I never did drugs, but one time I did decide to take two bazooka Joes and put them in my mouth instead of one And I was like that's a mouthful. This is a party right now. Am I right everyone? Did you notice that when she said I never never did drugs, it cut to Catherine, the Catherine went, whoops. Yep. And the chef was like,

Garsha, have you ever blacked out? And she's like, I mean, I've done marijuana twice. I'm like, that's not what I asked, Garsha. Have you ever like woken up in the middle of Vegas and been like, where am I? Where am I? It's like, no, because she has standards. Listen, she was on the real world and a girl's gone wild thing and she was on the challenge.

Like give her a break. She had wild moments. Okay, we don't need, like it doesn't take a lot to figure that out. She made that with Brad and a hot tub, okay? Like that's like, yeah. Worth like five notches of wild past. Yeah. And I don't know what Naomi is doing.

Well, I do. She's being Naomi. But in this reunion, Naomi is rolling her eyes full on at everybody and everything and it's cracking me out. Because that's like Naomi's state of being like, but she camera is like, well, you know, that kind of the real world was the opposite of these southern boys. And that's what attracted me to it. My name is like

pfft. Like what was that? Why are you so mad at that? She's like, I hated that season. You know, I was actually impressed that they showed footage from real world San Diego. I kind of feel like it's this thing that's been lingering over the show and they have alluded to it here and there.

But this is the first time that they actually showed footage of Cameron from back then, which I thought was kind of cool. Buna Murray lighting up a little bit or whatever it's called. Buna Murray banish and whatever it's called that. So he's she's like, well, you know, I know people take it mad at me because they were called me a stuck up bitch, but it really made me realize, Andy, how privileged and lucky I am to you know Have that choice Andy to have you notice that Cameron can't look anybody in the eyes ever. Yeah, she looks like she can't look at Andy

She can't look at anybody. She's speaking to ever. It's weird. She's like they give her a lot of What they don't give her a lot of incentive to make I mean would you want to look at Austin? I'd rather look at that. No, really. Yeah. She's like, I could direct a set of Austin and his berets or I could look at the Latin blind my eyes. I think I'll do that one.

Yeah. So she basically backs down from being a stuck-up or whatever. And she's like, I do have pravella jambi. Like you're never going to catch Cameron and anything because you can always answer like a politician when it comes to her So then Andy's like, well, how many of you guys would want your wife to stay at home and take care of the kids and Craig's like, uh, that's not really our decision I don't think so Nailed it. Yeah, and it's not when I say it's not really our decision.

It's more like, do I have to make a decision? Because that's like really hard without Anna Hayward. I've cut down her hours. So she makes all my moral choices now. And she's like, well, my mom did that. She stayed home and that's a full-time job, cars. You know, garshing us around to classes

and packing our garches for cars. And then Austin's like, well, I'm just, you know, like, here's just how it worked. My parents both worked and I had a nanny. That's it. I just woke up with the nanny. I went to bed with nanny. That's how it is. You know, I'm just used to that. So I don't need some girl who's going to be like, you know, waiting for me to bring the bacon home. I was like, well, good, because I don't think any single one ever will. Gars, it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. Don't forget to get your tickets to Watch Your Crappens in Charlotte on September 26 at WatchYourCrapans.com. So then we come back from a break and Craig has now changed into like a

playboy. Was it half you have like a dinner jacket? What's his name? Hugh Heffner. Hugh Heffner, yeah. God, I'm dumb today. This is the end of our week. Can you guys tell? So Hugh Heffner. And it's really weird and it has like one piece of length that's making me crazy But he's like hey everyone. This is me Craig When one two five five five one one one one one guys. Yes, my description Five four three two one one two three four five six two one three two Oh God, that's my social security number. Please don't put that on the show

two four six so one Oh God, that's my social security number. Please don't put that on the show 8675309 So and he's like, okay, we're back glad we showed you that where nothing was happening Okay, Chef finally has a reason to go home at night because he's really old. Oh wait, there's more on the card. And he got a dog. Nailed it. I'm a little drag. So someone said, someone wrote in and was like, uh, Chef should be the last person to own a dog.

He lost a girlfriend in a ditch, which I think is a very fair point. I still think that we have not fully explored why and how one loses a girlfriend in a ditch on a date because he's like, oh, I just didn't notice. You know, I always ride a heavy everyone because I get a little anxious. I'm like, still not an good excuse for why you lost your date. Like, you should not have been riding ahead of your date. I'm in the dark on a bike. Yeah, it's like the levels of alcoholism, like when you're in AA, and they're like, okay, if you can stay so, if you can keep a plant alive for a year, you can get like a hamster. And then if you can keep the hamster alive for a year, you can get like a girlfriend.

And if you can keep a girlfriend alive for a year, I don't know, you can drive a car. I forget how it goes because I never made it that long. But the point is, if you can keep a, if you can get, if you can go on a date and not lose a girl in a ditch for more than a month, you can maybe get a hamster. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I don't think that he's like ready for a little Craig. So then Andy's like, so, Chef, why didn't you listen

to a cam about the real estate, like when you bought that, strange piece of land that was in a swamp that was half protected for the animals and half haunted from an old drive? like when you bought that. Strange piece of land that was in a swamp that was half protected for the animals and half haunted from an old tribe. Why'd you buy that? He's like, oh, well, she doesn't really know James Island and you know, as a rich white man, I deserve to take over tribal burial grounds

because that's my right. And you know, Cameron, she's not really a real estate engine after all, goersh! She's like, guess I am! Guess I am! Yeah, I think you just saw a big dollar sign, so you wanted your hand to something new. And he's like, okay, that's fair, Gors. And Andy's like, I think he's always wanting

to have his hand to something new. Anyone? Anyone? I was like, you know what? Well played, Andy Cohen. Well played. So then the question goes to people on the internet really hated you when you went camping. They said you were a bully and he's like, Oh, gosh.

She was awful on that trip. It was so terrible. I had to, I don't actually remember. Adderall and Austin's like, those were when actually remember, out of all. And Austin's like, those were when the boarding school days came out. That was just, that was just boarding school that was coming out. Boarding school. And she's like, you know, it's just an older brother thing.

I'm like seven years, maybe eight years older than these guys. Yeah. Any camera is like, yes, but you get into a zone and there's like no getting through. I mean, it's one of your very few negative qualities. You know, it's not from that. And the way you treat women and the way you talk to all your friends, the way you make us all cry, the way you have entitlement, the way you humiliate

homeless people on social media. You know, the way you like, if food goes into your mouth and comes out immediately, the way you optionally decide to shower from important events, things like that. And they're all still struggling to make Step deeper than he is by giving him some kind of excuse, you know Craig's like well, I mean you take it to a nasty level Like there's something darker there. There's something darker there and Austin's like yeah, and then you went to that on the most

smartest person in the world thing Yeah, Austin really does not like that. Especially because you bought glasses to try to be the smartest person in the world. Have you invested in being the smartest person in the world? Have you gone to lens crafters and had to like fake a prescription just looking at glasses to wear them and look smart? I don't think so.

I don't think so. It's insane. Yeah. So it's like listen with my armpit on the back of the couch and man spreading even wider than I court of all Caught to it guys hands up. I've got a lot of you know I can be snobby and a leadist and rude, but I can also be generous and kind and Jovial Craig you might have to look that one up

I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait much of the J not a soft G Look that one up. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you know, J-O-V-I-A-L, yeah. So he's doing the tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap so Andy's like, well, what about your anger issues? And he's like, well, my only sense of anger is, I mean, and Chelsea's like, when you say yourself on the show, I mean, do you ever think you're really getting your hair cut because that's the funniest part to me? I've not cut one stitch your hair,

which is really the best part of this for me anyway. I'm in a trouble. It happens that the goo that's in it just clogs up my scissors and I just have to pretend after that. Yeah, so he's like, well look, I see myself on the show and I don't suffer fools gladly. Okay, I'm like, okay, so now everybody's just done but you, which is the problem. Exactly, exactly. If you don't suffer fools gladly, then why are they your friends?

Which is sort of like what Andy says. He's like, you've made many of these guys cry, and they're your friends. So, you know, he's like, yeah, but Garsh, they're like, a lot of times they're just being dumb. What are you being dumb? Is that what you're saying? No, like, what do you say when like, three pieces of sand

are just like a lot slower than the rest of the sand on the beach? Dumb? Garsh, I guess, yeah. What is the word for someone who like physically can't speak? That's all I mean. Dumb? What's another word for Craig? Dumb?

Yeah, oh, no, Garsh. So he's like, well, when you saw the ladies talking at that dinner about how you made them all cry, oh no, gosh. So he's like, well, when you saw the ladies talking at that dinner about how you made them all cry, I mean, how that make you feel? And he's like, oh god, that really pissed me off. And Cameron's like, there's the wrong answers, yeah. Yeah, he's like, I mean, it's always just the moment. And by the way, I apologize to anyone I've upset,

which I hope you really appreciate this inserting what I just said there But it doesn't not but doesn't that denote that on a certain level we're all close enough to get emotional Between us. It's like very emotional pieces of sand that emotional beach. Aren't we gush? And they don't let him get away with it Craig's like you can't even control it and cam's like yeah, you take it to a level Tan okay, and he's like well, I know everyone's soft spot. You know, and so I'll just like wreck you, okay? Don't make me go there, but you know what I'm doing there? So I do go there, I'll go full speed ahead, you know?

Like, I don't know where this rumor came from that I'm gone to hear something. And he's like, yeah, that was never a rumor, okay. Okay. I mean, it's interesting. He's basically like saying, no, I am an asshole. And like you, it's like you, it's your guys problem that you guys think I'm anything other than being an asshole.

And, you know, I'm going to just be totally nasty to you, so don't, don't start with me. Yeah, it's that, it's basically like not taking any ownership. Yeah, it's like, why do you make me hit you? You know, like you think I want to beat you? No, you make me, you know. Right. Oh, yeah, Andy is like, yeah, but it's a viewer. And it's just like, it sounds crazy,

but when I'm angry, it's like, it's because I'm close with people. Like, I wouldn't even waste my time on somebody that I don't care about. I mean, unless I was taking a snap, a snapchat of a homeless person with cans, because I mean, that was a worthy moment. That was good.

I felt close to that person, and then Austin's like, yeah, but then you unleash on people on Twitter, and you're not close to them, and then we see a tweet, where Shepp basically says, your head looks like a marshmallow, and it isn't attached to your body. Are you morbidly obese? I bet that's it.

That's all, that's all of Seth's tweets. Like he looks at whatever, it's usually a lady tweeting it. I mean, he's like, oh my God, where do you obese? What do I care what you think, ugly? Look at your own face. Your head looks like a marshmallow and I bet it's detached. That's like, he's like painting a picture with his insults. It's very strange.

And so Andy's like, you know, it wasn't just anger that people picked up on. It was also just like a huge sense of arrogance and he's like, gosh, you know, I tried to suppress that but I grew up wanting nothing. And my grandmother, she was a pistol, she was such a pistol, she'd be like, you know that, you know that beach, Viro Beach,

the one with all the sand like us You know she would say that's zero beach gorge You know because it wasn't the right ill of people I was like what sort of defense is this throwing your grandmother under the bus? Cuz my grandma's a bitch Okay, wow you're really willing to keep sin those Viro Beach insults sorry people from the bureau beach But you didn't expect that you would be thrown under the bus this episode also Yeah, and cam's like you have to be aware that other people have opinions

Yeah, and other people think things to you and other people may not agree with you, okay? It didn't mean their poor. I mean it does mean they're poor, but it didn't mean there's Well poor people are kind of I don of forgot where I was going with this. But team shit. Team shit is the point. Listen, I don't say everyone else is dumb, okay? Just people from zero beach, okay? Craig, it's your favorite beach, remember?

And then he says again, I just don't suffer fools. Like, I'm not saying people are dumb, I just don't suffer fools. Yeah. And they also says, did you you practice this because this is terrible? Like I know. I know. I know. I know. Trying to do some kind of work on your image, but he's like, you know, I know I've been out of line, but I've also been forgiven, so I think that means, that's his way of being like,

why are we discussing this? Everyone forgave me. Yeah, so is every serial killer in a documentary. You know what I mean? Yeah, it was not, I Yeah, so it was every serial killer in a documentary. You know what I mean? It was not, I would not say it was like a brilliant moment of personal, like, improving your image. Like, if you were running for office, it would, this would be considered a failure. But the only thing he's really running from, he's like not running from office. He's like running from life.

So it's like, okay, fine. Yeah. So then we go over to commercial and we come back. Craig is standing up playing with his dick. He's like, I don't understand underwear. How do people do this? What are you supposed to do with it? Craig one, two, three, four, five. Boxers are hard, five, four, three, two, one. Right now, I went to the bathroom and my underwear got wet.

They're like, Craig, you have to pull down your underwear when you go to the bathroom. Oh, no one tells me. Oh, man, I had a hard time getting my underwear in here. I had to let all the air out. Craig, are you wearing an inner tube under there? Maybe. It's like a unicorn, one of those inflatable unicorns.

You know that's not underwear, Craig. I mean, who are you to say what's underwear? What's not underwear? We're all specks of sand. So Craig can't figure out underwear and Austin's butt is numb and Catherine's like, what's up with all the butt stuff? Y'all. Austin's like butt stuff. Question mark. So then, so then we go on to the Naomi and Metual segment. And does Naomi track Metual and she's like, obviously I track any one I date. And yeah, he tracks me too. So like I got into a lot of trouble when I went close to the baked goods aisle in the Piglet Bigley.

It was really rough, but we got to it. He tracks my location and my calories ampy. Yes. And Andy's like well you know camera and you can relate to being an on call girl. Get that I made a joke about hookers. That come on come on camera and check. I can't it's hard they're never home. It's great. I love it but they're married to their medicine. Hey, you should have a show about that, you know? But Naomi is like, no, I see him like every night of the week, basically. And so then the Twitter sphere, though,

was not happy with Metool, Metool is sexist. Metool is sexist, and Cameron is way too obsessed. So, yeah, that's where we find out, that Jason was not happy about any of her flirtation with mature. She's like, I mean, it took me forever to convince him that it was like an honest stick. It's like a stick, Jason. Yeah, I mean, why would I ever be attracted tol just because he has a perfect body and a perfect smile and you know, even though it's negative attention, at least he pays some attention to Naomi.

I mean, why would I, why would I ever be drawn to that, you know? Yeah, she runs off crying. So Andy's like, well, you know, fans on Twitter were really mad at maturel telling you what to eat. Like, you know, maybe that's why Naomi's such a bitch. And she's like, Ugh. Ugh.

Ugh. Well, um, look. Oh, oh, and then Craig jumps in. He's like, well, I thought of the bread thing, you know? So this is my bridge. Here's the Rice Krispie street. Just eat the Rice Krispie street. And they all laugh and laugh.

And then Naomi's like like this in your underwear. What? She's like, I'm gonna eat this later. I really am. I'm gonna eat this later. I am gonna eat this later. Yeah, look at Naomi burning her bra on national TV everybody. Then Craig gets, you know, Craig gets like, oh wow, underwear feels a lot better when you're not hiding a rice crispy treat inside it. I think I get it now. Yeah, but she's basically like, no, like, you know, he's just like trying to be nice, but he came off as an asshole.

I'm like, I'm sorry. I actually, I love my tool. I think he's hot and dreamy. We met him. I thought he was lovely, but that was an asshole moment. I'm sorry, I actually, I love Matool. I think he's hot and dreamy. We met him, I thought he was lovely, but that was an asshole moment. I'm sorry, you can never, if I'm going towards a Rice Krispie treat and I shouldn't be having a Rice Krispie treat,

I expect my loved one to say something like, actually, instead of the Rice Krispie treat, let's have salads, like join in. Yeah. Don't say no, that's nothing but diabetes. Like don't shame me because you know I'm still gonna have it, like, later. Well Austin jumps in. And he's like, well, I'll be darned if Craig and I weren't like, that's not a good look.

I mean, look controlling. Hey Austin, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Okay, I want to talk about being controlled. You're totally controlled on this. So get back in your barracks. No one needs to hear from you right now. Yeah, no one cares if like Craig and Austin had a feeling about

Maturel or really anything else. And I'm curious what you think Austin. Not an authority. Yeah, so the question is about Hilton Head and Maturel didn't let her go. And she's like, no, no, no, he never would say that he wouldn't let me go. He was saying, listen, it makes me really uncomfortable that you're going. And if you go, I'm gonna be extremely uncomfortable sliding go I mean that's not bossing me around. It's like uh

Yes, it is. He didn't support you going see you didn't go. I mean and then chef and then chef of all people whispers over to Cameron He comes from a male dominated society I'm like what the fuck do you think Charleston is what do you think we're watching right now? This is like the spirit of women. This is like women having to navigate through all of your unemployed privileged asses, okay? What do you think? What sort of dominated society do we live in? God Charleston makes India look like the end of 9-5, okay? Fuck you What's that concept?

No, he'd be all confused Like wait, if I rented our numbers. I Rented a really scary movie. It's called nine to five. I mean I have to clutch my pillow. Oh wait My pillow is just two sheets that Craig gave me So she's like yeah, you know, he just so it's gonna make me uncomfortable and yeah, she says that and then Austin's like Like I mean, I would tell I would tell my ex like this bothers me But if you feel like you need to go she's like that's, I mean, I would tell, I would tell my ex like, this bothers me, but if you feel like you need to go, she's like, that's what I just said, Austin. So, Shep is like, um, question from a very intelligent person over here who's seen a Ken Burns

documentary. Do you think it's cultural at all? Because my dad's best friend and business partners, Indian, and I was telling him about Yolts relationship, and he was like I understand Coming from that coming from India It's basically the equivalent of him saying I have an Indian friend too. Oh, I thought it was yeah It was that it was like he sees his dad's friend and he's like I know an Indian guy too His name is mature. That's crazy. She, so fucking ignorant, I can't believe it. And camera is just nodding beside him.

I was just... Wait, I will pull the I know an Indian person too, cause I know actually many of them and never have, like the stereotype that my Indian friends have always passed on is like overbearing mothers who want their kids to get married, which is very similar to a Jewish culture, which is why I feel like Indians and Jews are like just like

We're just meant for each other, but the point is this that like I guess I am just pulling a ship right now and just a different in like a supportive way instead and you know what? Since it's supportive, I'm gonna stand by it Well, chef, she's like other people from other cultures. Oh, it's because meh, it's just gross. You know, it's just typical fucking shab. And that he has that little self-awareness to say something that's stupid. And Naomi goes, well, I mean,

my two little story. On the heels, my way, I'm sorry. I just have to say, because I just got so angry all of a sudden, so quickly. For she up to say this, that this is like, mature wanting like the girlfriend to stay like near him to sort of be sudden so quickly. For Shep to say this, that this is like, Matool wanting like the girlfriend to stay like near him to sort of be subservient. This is on the heels of him minutes ago,

talking about how his mom stayed home for his dad to raise the kids. Let's not forget. Right, yeah, true. He's like, call him, that's because she's from India. It's Steve and me. Yeah.

So Naomi's like, yeah, Matool was born in DC and Chef just goes, oh, he's like, this is like kind of confused like, oh, right, right. Look to the cameras and he was born indecently, right? No, DC. God. Naomi's like, well, not everyone's just comfortable with three cameras in their face. And he came on the show because he's dating me. He didn't want to be on the show or whatever.

And she's like, I think that guy's funny. You know what I mean? That guy is so, so funny. He's like the guy from the Simpsons. You know, he's Indian too. A pool. I love that guy. Yeah, I actually have a good friend who's Indian and well, it's a poo basically and he always says

See you and see you later, you know, and I'm like that's Indian people are so friendly. I like Indian kucinos whoa I like feathers and dots chef. Please stop please just stop., anybody want to see me sit Indian style? It's my favorite. So then it's like, hey, so Naomi, since he didn't go on the cast trip, because apparently Indian culture forbids that, according to Chef. So you instead had to stay home and shoot a scene with Ashley.

And then Andy, I love what Andy does things like this he goes What made you do it as if he doesn't know the producers were like you have to shoot with Ashley since you decide not to go in the catch trips Well, I did it not because Production to said I am being punished. I did it because I have a morbid curiosity and clearly had nothing else to do for 90 minutes of my life That's Andy it's the one place I could get a Rice Krispie Street. Let's be honest, okay I knew Ashley would be so concerned about getting on my good side that she would never shave me for the five Rice Krispie treats I had while she was talking to me. Yeah, and Andy tries to make this a thing as if it's something that Naomi actually chose to do. He's like, Catherine, did you know she was meeting Ashley?

How'd you feel about that? She's like, she's so weird, y'all. Like she doesn't have the ability to read social situations. Like she said, you left an opening to talk to me, y'all. Like that blew my mind, y'all. blew my mind. Who am I just so weird? And Chelsea's like yeah, her apologies last lot two seconds. It's like a chef haircut.

Yeah, her apologies last two seconds. It's like Austin trying to trying to get into camo two seconds and he's like I don't know what to do. Am I right? Am I right? I mean right when she was trying to say she's sorry She's calling me pippy long song, which is funny pippy long. That was funny pippy long stock And you know Ashley somewhere in California on accounts with landings like that's my end. That's my end

That's my end. She likes me. We're good. We're good. We can bond over it. We can bond. We can bond What about love? What about love? Bond What about flow? What about flow? So now off to Craig so last summer Craig went to the Bahamas and returned to Charleston with a new attitude and a new assistant Let's take a look and we see like Anna here. We're an open-a-box and it's like great. That was wonderful Yeah, and he's like so it seems like she does everything for you. What do you do? And Austin's like, yeah. Yeah, what do you do? It's like, what do you do?

You've done like literally nothing this whole time we've seen you. At least Craig's trying, loser. Loozer. Yeah, so Craig's like, well, you know, it's nice to have a little bit of help. Like, now I have someone who can go through the mail like I used to Look at the stack of mail and get anxiety because like what's in there like literally like what's what's in mail

I said everyone ever figured that out like we know what mail is as a concept, but like if you open up an envelope like Is it what is in there? You know what I'm saying everyone? He always says like letters in a letter and an app sack, you know, we're just all letters and then we're dead. So and captain's like, yeah, I get anxiety over mail too. And he's like, well, did Naomi open all your mail before? Like how were you surviving before? And Naomi goes, yeah, I think that I would just yell at Craig, open your mail before, like how were you surviving before? And then we go, yeah, I think that I would just yell at Greg, open your mail stupid, and then he would open it. So, that's pretty much how that worked.

So, he's like, yeah, but lately I've had to cut anti-hate words, responsibilities in half. So now I've got half stacks of mail that are unopened and like half of my house is messy and I found half of my luggage. I'm just the next Martha Sturt. I've always wanted to go into kitchenware stuff. So that's my goal. And Cameron's like, well, a lot of us didn't believe he could do that, but he's really put his pedal to the metal. I guess. So good for you, Craig. I mean, I've always been interested in kitchenware.

I mean, basically what it comes down to is me just walk into a house going kitchenware. Is there a kitchen here? Where? And he says that they're on track to sell their 1,000th pillow. Wasn't that the plot number? Like when they had that in the plot, or was it a hundred

pillows? Well, the way I can explain it is that we're on track to sell our thousand pillow, but because of inflation, it's really just our tenth pillow, but because of inflation, we add two zeros onto it, and now it's our thousand. So that's how it works. So Twitter is said that God not only are you making pillows now you're hot. What's about what's that about? And he's like, well, you know, like when I was in the Bahamas, I was calm, you know, because

I I stopped taking Adderall down there. Like I'm prescribed it. Don't worry. And he's like, Oh, so does Adderall make you productive? I love the hand. He's like pretending he, so does Adderall make you productive? I love the handy, it's like pretending he doesn't know what drugs are. I know.

So Adderall, what does that do? Catholicism reminds. So yeah, Craig is like, well, I have ADHD, which as we all know, stands for albino, disease of the high biscuits, daffodil. And so I would like take Adderall, and like I'd stay up to do stuff, and then I wouldn't finish it,

because it turns out I'm still lazy, even when I'm on Adderall. And so I'd take more Adderall, and then finally my body would just crash. Yeah. And he's like, and then I, you know, finally I stopped in the Bahamas, and so I take more out of all and then finally my body would just crash. Yeah, and he's like, and then I, you know, finally I stopped in the Bahamas and so I just looked better and camera's like, yeah, I mean that suppresses your appetite, you know, so you're probably real unhealthy and then he goes, but then you got back to Charleston and you started again? And he's like, yeah, because it was there, okay, God! like yeah, because it was there, okay? God.

He's like, so the pillow party, lots of opinions, lots of viewers had something to say about your appearance. Shut up, viewers, who cares, a guy's an eyeliner. Oh my. Oh. I mean, I have opinions just because I don't think guys look good an eyeliner, but I'm not offended or like, man, shouldn't be wearing it because it's like a woman's thing. I just don't actually like the good in eyeliner, but I'm not offended or like, man shouldn't be wearing it

because it's like a woman's thing. I just don't actually like the way it looks, you know? I don't know. Is that a wrong thing to say? No, it's just awesome that you share. We're thinking of sonosh. Thank you. It's like what is venting?

No, the whole thing was just a backlash against eyeliner. People are like, what am I guys? Kirkland, I'm on an outpass. What year do we live in, you guys? But you know what I thought was so funny was like, Craig's his like enthusiasm to wearing it like on Halloween, because he's so like, and he's like, have you worn it on other occasions?

Because Halloween every year. like it's like his thing that he looks forward to is like the day that he can wear a guy liner and I'm like, look, I don't like the way it looks. But if you like wearing it, then you should wear it and you don't shouldn't feel like you have to only wear it on a Halloween like wear it whenever you want, you know? Yeah, I'm Andy's like, well, but that wasn't Halloween because it was the day after Andy and camera goes, yeah, he didn't

wash his face. And so Chelsea's like's like yeah and also you said the girls think it's hot and he's like yeah they do and Andy's like and the nail polish what's that about it's a cod do we not have enough gay panic with fucking Potomac right now cool it over there Andy I also like that when when the camera's like he didn't wash his face he's like well I was like whatever I get two days out of it I'm like you know you can just wash your face and then put it on again right wash your mouth out yeah yeah yeah so then they're like so they're talking about the Adderall and they're like okay like basically like what's the deal with your crazy behavior at Cameron's oyster roast and like

why are you was that because the Adirolle is like well maybe and like why were you so upset that Austin went home early he's like because he bowed on me and they're like yeah but you were like so angry like why he's like well I didn't have my guy line around so I really needed my wingman that night and like He just like left me there. I was like It was like annoying like I want that's not about getting late. It's just annoying Huh, I actually get what he's saying now because he said that he was already home and he was gonna go to bed And then Austin was like don't let a bed come out And so he went out to meet Austin and then Austin immediately gets a text from this girl and leaves Which is we didn't know I would be pissed too. Yeah, so he was he was pissed about that and then but now they're gonna make it like

He's a fucking crack head, you know and Austin literally goes You do your crack head like it was 11 at night. I'm like, okay So you made him come out at 11 then left and now you're gonna call him a crack head. Oh, I go it was 11 at night. I'm like, okay, so you made him come out of the 11 then left and now you're going to call him a crack head. My God. And Cameron's like, were you taking Adderall at that point? Craig. And he's like, yeah. And so Andy's like, Cameron, what do you think? Do you think he's got an Adderall addiction? And she's like 100%. And yes, Adderall is prescribed. But I think people take it for the wrong reasons, then fuse it and then mix it with alcohol and with no sleep That is a recipe for disaster and the Glad we've got the fucking pro in here

Well, it's also funny because Craig's like kicking the Adderall habit story like he's like not very good at like at like sort of leading with like the good parts right because he finally is like, oh yeah, but I haven't taken it in eight weeks. I'm like, it just was like the whole thing has been kind of sort of funny to me because at first he's like, well, my big confession is that I was taking out of all, but I kicked it in the Bahamas. Like yay! And then I started taking it again. And you're like, oh, and like, so you, so then you're sort of like, wait, you're like, okay, so he's back on out of us. And then I started taking it again. And you're like, oh, so then you're sort of like, wait, you're like, okay, so he's back on Adora's and then like five minutes later,

but I kicked it again. I'm like, Craig, can we just consolidate your attic? We just say you're on it and you kicked it. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it's like clearly under my skin at the moment. Well, they're trying to make it like this huge drug storyline, which is really annoying since Chef is blatantly coked out of his mind

half the time. I mean, give me a break. Shepp's on something crazy, and Shepp comes in raging at everybody and no one's like, oh, it must be your coke habit, Shepp. When anybody who's done coke, hi, would probably see that right away, you know, but it's like, oh, let's make out of all this.

He used to. But Shepp just gets to sit there and skate in his khakis while he's man spreading all over the couch. You know what? I was so angry watching this episode, and I know that my anger doesn't seem justified, but I'm really getting sick of people like Shep just skating by, so making me crazy.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing like a Southern charm reunion or really any episode that, it sort of like seeps into you And then the anger comes out in weird ways like me getting angry with Craig not consolidating his addiction storyline Yeah, justified so They're like is that why you're acting crazy at the airport. Oh, geez now look who's mad Now look who's mad

who's mad. You'll learn. Now look, he's mad. You'll learn. You'll learn. I have something to say in defensive ship. Come over here, get on the original man's redder, Bueller. We got no kidding.

Bueller, get under here. The original one. We are trying to be a professional podcast. Come on, go under. Oh, good boy, you're so handsome. Go on. Sorry, everybody. Bueller gets a very upset at misogyny and the patriarchy.

Okay, so what were you just saying? Patriarchy. Okay, yeah, I was just really, it just makes me mad watching Shepskate while he's like man spreading all over the place. I'm sick of people like Shepskating in life. Okay, so next over, next up is, why were you mad at the airport, right? And so Craig's like, well, that was justified because Naomi didn't come. And then Whitney's trying to pull Cameron off the bus. And Cameron's like,

well, when you're behaving that way, it'd be better to get off the bus. And Shep finally says something to Cameron. Nobody ever says anything to her. And he's like, you do really let, wait, you really do listen to Whitney too much in those situations, Cameron. Yeah, but I mean, I feel like, well, I mean Whitney, of course, is gonna wanna take his little plan up to whatever, just to Steamboat, whatever it's called. And I don't know, I don't think it was like such a big deal that they wanted to fly up on their own. To me, it's like their loss, because they're gonna miss out on fun bonding times, et cetera. But I mean, but I sort of understand, I understand why Craig would be annoyed because it's like the fun part is being altogether, but he was like losing his mind.

So like I think probably the Adderall had some effect on that. Yeah, co-credge. So then, co-credge, sorry. So then, he was a lack of oxygen, you know? Yeah, yeah. And coke. So then,

and Catherine is like, uh, Catherine is asked if she still believes that Craig is in love with Naomi. And she's like, well, I mean, I think he just needed closure. And maybe that came off as he's still being in love. And he's like, listen, it just didn't make sense to me. And I couldn't process it. But you know, that conversation I had with Naomi really helped. And then they got to the conversation and Naomi's like, get over it. I'm gone.

Me. Yeah. Maybe you should stop focusing on like all this other shit and just like deal with it. Okay, head on. Naomi's like, get a shrink, a loser. And he's like, God, that was a good conversation. She like hands him a corn on the cob here just eat this okay, wow, it's fair. Well

So he got closer and everybody thinks that he's over her now, which is a big big step So now let's move on to drag Catherine for a little while Yeah, so it once again, it's well she had a lot while she's she's got kids And she's got a new apartment her hair is red and she has a sassy attitude Let's ask Catherine a question no video package. No segment. No montage. I was like damn it. These montage Jesus Yeah No montage. I was like, damn it, these montage Jesus. Yeah. So she's talking about how well our kids are doing and how co-parenting with Thomas is basically like business now. She's like, I keep it very blank statements. I don't know what that means, but okay. And she's not allowed to, because Andy's like trying

to ask about the kids and about the custody and she's not allowed to comment on it and she's also not allowed to disparage Thomas, which I'm only saying that because of something that's gonna come up in a little bit but I want to put that piece of information out on the podcast because I have thoughts. I have thoughts. Oh, we're getting there. So we start talking about

if she's still dating the country star and God, she's dating someone her own age. And she's like, yeah, there's differences. Like, I don't know. He hasn't tripped over his nets yet, which is weird. I'm going to tell you that right now. That's weird. He has a different smell to him.

It doesn't smell like that stuff you put on your muscles when they hurt. That's weird. And he never speed in bed. That's another weird thing. So yeah, it's pretty weird, Andy. So then, Andy goes, Kate Chastain from below deck, tweets, and Catherine's like, I love her.

Thank you, Catherine Dennis, for making the leather pant, the goat, go anywhere a fashion item of 2019. Leather pant yoga mediation with Naomi leather pant awkward breakfast with Whitney check and check To which I just was imagining Kate at home going Well stated So captain's like yeah, they're yoga pants're yoga pants but they're leather shoes so they come from Amazon. They're like $10 and Cameradjust covers her face like, oh my god! Talking about buying things from Amazon Capturand, really!

Garsh, my father has a very good friend and a business associate who's gone down the Amazon river before and he says that actually those sort of leather pants come from a male dominated side and you should be careful. So the next stuff is now you get along with Patricia and then Chelsea starts cracking up over there. There's so much unspoken in this reunion right? Everyone's like mad at each other But we don't quite know why yet like Cameron it seems like she's gonna be going after Catherine, but we're not really sure and then Catherine's kind of giving rollie eyes to Cameron and Naomi's pissed at everybody so we're talking about Patricia and Twitter is saying do really forgive her or do you just want to see it at the table and she's like

I've like forgiven a lot of people on this couch. It maybe didn't deserve it. And then you see angry looks from everyone. And she's like, I just don't care what people say about me anymore. I've been called every name in the book. And my favorite one is mommy. Yeah. And I like that when she said I've forgiven a lot of people on this couch. They cut to Cameron and then to shop. Like, like, more, or, um, um. Yeah. So now they're asking,

so now Andy starts asking about the situation with Whitney and how he was, um, it's not having sex with her. And, you know, Catherine basically says that she thinks that he just didn't want to discuss what happened. And somehow like, Andy Cohen relates this all to Bill Clinton.

He's like, well, in the 90s, like Bill Clinton said, I didn't have sex, sexual relations with that woman, but he was like talking about blood jobs. So I guess what I'm asking is, were there blood jobs? Or was it sex? Like what did you do? Full penetrates with their anal? It's like handy.

So please. Well, God. So Catherine's like, no. So they're like, well, you know, Shepard are Austin have you denied having sex with a woman ever and she's like oh no yeah no you know yeah I mean no I mean because they're like I mean gosh I did once have to deny having sex with a woman from zero beach, where should I say zero beach? Of course.

Yeah, both Austin and Shep blatantly lie. They both look like they're totally lying. And then the next question is, well, Craig has thought that Whitney's always in love, has always been in love with Catherine. I mean, let's not forget that this show started off with Catherine hooking up with Whitney and then going to hook up with Thomas, okay? That is the episode one of this show. So Craig's like, I've always stood by that. I think that he's always been in love. And Catherine's like, Paul, a lot of been basically Catherine's like, people are afraid to say anything about me because

they're afraid for Thomas to sue them, you know? Right. And Cameron goes, well, actually, yeah, Patricia with the peanut. And Catherine goes, uh, yes, I'm aware Cameron yeah, so yeah cuz cuz basically and that's basically what we need a told camera that he just did not want to get dragged into Thomas's madness So then we see an article and he's like well speaking of Thomas and a recent daily male article Thomas said that Catherine was mentally unstable sex addict with an alcohol prescription drug and Shuffling problem. What do you say about that? So I got mad because Why is it that Thomas is allowed to say these things to the Daily Mail and Catherine's not allowed to talk about Thomas like what what's going on with that?

Was this gag order put in place after the Daily Mail thing? Was it something that like her lawyers got mad at his lawyers and they said okay? No disparaging in public, but like that seemed so unfair to me and bullshit Well it made me really mad about it. It's fuck you bravo Okay, you're gonna fire Thomas finally when he's accused of rape when he should have been fired like three years ago And then you're gonna act like you're on the moral high ground because you you got rid of Thomas but now you're gonna bring everything that Thomas says into plays if it's evidence fuck you that's not fair I say fuck you that is completely unfair line of questioning fuck Jackson fuck Jackson fuck you objection yeah so um yeah so Thomas basically alleged

that Catherine failed a drug test in June and no Catherine doesn't care. She's like, well, he's diagnosed me with everything in the book. So like, but never answer that. He's firm. She never answered that. True. Uh, and he's like, well, fans accused you of being in another state on your last, uh,

watch what happens live appearance. You know, got a lot of tweets. Catherine is high as a kite slurring. That's not just nerves. And that was a comment. And then you followed up with an Insta story saying that you couldn't sit still because of nerves, which is you'll remember. This tweet just said that there's no way it was because of nerves.

Yeah. And she was just like, oh, it's just really hard to monitor yourself like every second of the day. And so I was like, arm, it's just really hard to monitor yourself like every second of the day And so I was like really nervous Which of course the question of there should been a follow-up question of but you're Like we're doing the same thing like right now And we're taking place it for a longer amount of time. Yeah, and you're fine Yeah, and she's like well, you know It's editing myself 24-7 and Craig's laughing and he he's like, well, I mean, I was bummed

because you were asked if I'm over Naomi. And I didn't like your response. And they show her response. And she's like, well, Naomi ever Craig, I mean, it's like a nothing thing, by the way. And Craig is like, I was really hurt. You look spaced out. I know that look very, very well.

It's like Anna Hayward when I ask her to open up the mail again And she says you don't have any mail today for the fifth day in a row. Stop asking me. I'm like what? It's like when we were sleeping in that hole on the beach and you kept saying Mr. President This is very confusing So she's like what did I even say to you? He's like, well, you looked uncomfortable or spaced out or whatever. And then of course, let's find out what camera and fucking thinks about it. Camera knew it was given zero to anything this year. And he's like, so camera, what do you think?

She's like, it was uncomfortable. I mean, it looked like something was the matter. And so, and he's like, well, what is the status of your sobriety? And she's like, well, I don't smoke weed or anything illegal. It's like, mm-hmm. And he's like, so you can drink. And she's like, um, yes, um, yes.

And then we just see Craig and Chef Dunfound are like, oh, gosh, gosh. I'm like, you know what? If the whole issue was that she went to rehab before, like, weed or whatever else. And like, I don't know, like if drinking, if drinking wasn or whatever else and like I don't know like if drinking if drinking wasn't the real issue I don't know I don't she had to go because of Thomas she was forcing to all that because of Thomas this

is not like a regular addict storyline you know what I mean is this like right a young girl who had like a rich white fuck who was connected to everyone in town against her and forced her to get all this testing and the would remember when she had bruises all over her arm and he was like forcing over and over to get testing so he could get custody and all of this It's just so dark and it's dark and it's like it's hard to know where the truth is you know, so yeah So I mean the truth is that Thomas is a pig and awful like there that you know, that's a given you know Just saying it just seems like, I don't know, I just like, sheppin' Craig, giving that look.

I was like, shh, stop it. Yeah, better drink. And he's like, well, give her a cocktail. She's like, well, I don't party by any means. And Andy said, well, were you drinking that night? And she's like, no. And then Andy's Austin's snickering. So he's like Austin.

And he's like, well, I was just pointed because I tweeted in that night and, you know, she wasn't very cool to me. Uh, yeah, fuck you again, Austin, because you tweeted in that night to like, be a fucking slut shaming dick. How about that? Right.

What was the tweet again? What was the tweet that he said? It's something about Madison's, like, Madison's a total liar and nothing she said is happening and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so like Catherine, yeah, they said what do you think Catherine? She said times up and he's like,

oh, me, how could you even do that? Like, I mean, I wasn't even present. I'm like, well, then don't tweet in if you don't want to be talked about. Yeah, exactly. You actually opened that can of worms. And he's like, what you said on watch what happens live was totally unacceptable totally totally unacceptable

like please like like you tweeted some like you all she said was times up okay like I hate that like the wounded the fragile wounded like male ego when a woman decides to finally like speak up and be like be quiet have a seat you know so Austin said you said times up and then for no reason, you then said, who? Like you don't know who I am. Like who? And Catherine just goes,

it's because I find you boring sometimes. He's like solid deflecting Catherine. That is such a cop out. That is such a cop out. And she's like, what? Give me a break. And he goes, it's like you don't even remember being there. Okay?

And she's like, I haven't rewashed it because I was too embarrassed, but don't you think for a second you're coming from my sobriety, you can back the fuck off. You can do this all day with Madison, but seriously? And it's like, don't don't don't. You can see Austin's lips are... Yeah.

And that was the end of Southern Trump reunion part. Whoa. Yeah, it's a blast. Good times. Everybody, what a fun one. And that was the end of Southern Traum reunion part. Whoa! Yeah, it was! Good times. Good times, everybody. What a fun one. I know what a fun one. So we'll be back on Monday to talk Real House as a Potomac, Blazing Hot Fire that show

is. And we hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Go check out our other episode, The Mailbag, Bethany episode. And by tickets to our shows, we're starting to run out of time for Charlotte and Nashville that's coming up best. before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.