Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm Live in SF: Jagged Little Pillow

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

Craig's pillow design is due - will this be his moment to shine? Or his moment to be, well, Craig. We discuss this as well as many more things at our crazy, super fun live show from SF. You must listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.

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Andrea, get your ducks in a roleplay! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun, mother f- Watch what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is, what crap is fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan of the music, I'm a fan Oh There are so many of you here. This is so great. Thank you guys so much for coming. What a big big second day of the year and here we all are together. What's our heart? What is going on San Francisco? I got to unpack on my personal belongings. Give me a moment.

Oh my god. Can you believe Patricia sent us these? Yeah. So Patricia is at home right now with Michael. Yes. It's probably sitting on Michael. We got a Michael in the audience. at home right now with Michael. Yes. It's probably sitting on Michael. Oh my god, look. We got a Michael in the audience. There is a Michael in the audience. Oh, amazing. Michael's throwing things.

But you're sitting at home probably sitting on Michael right now, like a chair. So thank you so much, Chipitrecia, for doing this. We were just joking on the show. We're like, if you give a shit, you will send us two of these. And she did. Yeah. Well, thank you.

She sent us. Now, of course, this comes with the promise that I will publicly apologize and read a certain chapters from her book, but we'll get to that soon. Yes. Happy and like, see earned that shit. Okay. Yeah. I don't do it often, but I'll do it today. Good, dam shit. Okay? Yeah. I don't do it often, but I'll do it today, good, dammit.

Oh my God. Is everyone having a great gay pride weekend? This is the weekend to be here in San Francisco. Every time I walk anywhere here, all I hear is... Yeah. Like, saking, you know? I got a little meat. I'm just walking around like, huh? Like I'm having an earthquake. No, this is so exciting. How many of you guys were here in

November for the November show? Wow, thank you guys for coming back. That show is pandemonium. We're hoping that this show will also be pandemonium. We had so much fun. It's amazing. I already see so many great like southern charm gay pride things. I see there are two ladies in the front row who are dressed like priv. Really got to respect that. We see some rainbow outfits. We see it. We see a Michael. We see some rainbow outfits, we see a Michael, we see some unicorns. Oh my God, there's some people dressed as Peyton's unicorn.

That is amazing. Little avatar unicorns. Yeah. Oh, you got it so on the side, hey. You're getting the best slope of me right here. Poor things. Oh my God, I love it, Belly. This should be illegal. God, I love it. This should be illegal.

God, I love these. I know. I feel like this is, you know, this is, I would transition. Like honestly. Just to work out to the appeal. Like, well, yeah. Good. No one told me that.

Transition is so comfortable. This is good. We were thinking, do we wear shorts under? Because they're hard. You know what, heartwear lesbians. We're like, do we wear shorts under? Because that heart, you know what heart we're lesbians. We're like, we're gonna wear shorts, right? It's like, like, chola's a PE. No. We are not wearing pants under these.

So glad we did. So there's something important we do have to discuss, right? Yes, I would like to thank my friend Tito. Yeah. Yeah. But even more importantly than Tito, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. something that is called Hashtag Countis and Friends. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. We appreciate that you guys could have gone to see Countess Luan, but you decided to

come here instead. So as a way of saying thank you, we've decided that we are going to bring some Countess and friends to you. So ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, Grammy nominee Chanel. How's everybody doing? Come on, stand up. Let's have a little good time tonight. Come on everybody. are you ready? Do you know this song? I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, said, come on everybody sing

Yes, buddy can't buy Ella get to learn my friends Ella get to learn Are you ready to have a good time tonight? Everybody give it up for Pinn and Ryan! I heard that San Francisco is the greatest city in the world! But I can't find friends, see ya! But I can't find friends, and I can't find crap Elecance is blind My friends Elecance is blind

Oh yes, and you want more time huh? I can't find Woo I can't find crap Elecance is blind My friends Elecance is love Be cool, don't just be uncool

Shanael, thank you. Shanael is amazing. And you think you can't teach the countess anything, Hey, girls. Did anyone go see the show last night? Yay! Wow. Way better. Yeah. They're like, way better. Thank you, Chanel. That was awesome. I'm just taking off my shoes. Look, I went out my admit like this.

And I'm going to sweat now for an hour. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm like the sad for an hour. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Um, how about we talk some Southern charm? Southern charm! Southern charm! How good is this season been? Let's be honest, how good! So good. We've never done Southern charm live. It's here.

Never exciting. Never. I was looking in the mirror doing Southern charm impersonations like well for a minute. Like you know I don't make an effort. But I was putting, I was making an effort, but I was putting, I was making an effort, I was like, I'll make an effort today and I was like, stop yourself, I'd stop myself.

Because there was a lot of this. I was trying to do an impersonation, but I just kept doing this. I was trying to do an impersonation, but I just kept doing this. I was trying to do an impersonation, but I just kept doing this. But I was trying to do an impersonation,

but I just kept doing this. But I was trying to do an impersonation, but I was trying to do an impersonation, but I was trying to do an impersonation, but I was trying to love stuff at Steam. I'm like, no bitch. This week, Catherine was like, I suffer from love stuff at Steam and I am up. You know, because she was like, dropping her apartment for five days. No offense. Which, you know, I know.

But everyone was like, yeah, you meant to all hell. So Ashley was like, I suffer from that too. I'm like, Ashley. She gets sloppy seconds of everything that Catherine had. Sloppy mental health.

Tom is a big sin mental health issues. Catch up. And a sore throat apparently. A sore throat. It's like the saddest scapenter, Hanter. The race. The race you're always losing. All right. So the episode opens as any good southern charm episode opens with a little tricky monocle.

Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap,, but this time I couldn't. Tell me, please correct me, because I feel like they're not that bad. I was like, no, what? Not, not, not. I feel like these are not the correct lyrics. I could have sworn she's saying, we can smell us a Randy Solo, every party, and every go-go. That doesn't sound right.

She said, I'm so sorry, you guys. I will not let my penis out. I don't look. I'm just hiking up my dress back in. Hi. Uh. With his fellas or when he's solo, every man, no, every bar man, every go-go, anyone who's in the nose says he makes the kids go loco.

Trixi is the first person to ever speak Spanish in Charleston. Yeah. She's like, all right, Paul, this is what I want to do. I want to get some Spanish influence in this song this time. All right, Paul. Make it something loco. I don't care. Loco. It's what the kids are saying. Paul loco. They're like, you uh, spent that banjo, uh, that banjo money already. I don't care. Make something wrong with loco. God damn it. Ah, just throws everything off the table. They're like, man, you're a bad bad thing beyond.

Stop that. And they put it after a weird thing, because I mean, well, I guess it was after Austin's. But I wrote that note after Catherine is saying, Tom has texted me. And even he said, my energy field has totally changed. I was like, it hasn't. Yeah.

It hasn't. Um. It hasn't. Thomas texted me, erm. That should be the soundtrack cast. Set a blue, just like, it's like your phone is politely trying to interrupt you. Oh, erm. You have a message. And Cameron hasn't been in a lot this season because she knows she's been, what do I got for?

Yeah, I got a buzz on your. God damn it. Yeah, little buzz. Claude, so am I right. Very professional podcast. Yeah. Yeah. So she hasn't gotten to do that much, but she still gets to be a bitch in every opening, which I love.

They just let her just be bitchy to everybody, even she doesn't show up to work you know. And she's like Victoria friend to friend to ruin Austin's happy place. I'm like Cameron you know she's just sitting on the goddamn couch doing this on her cell phone just recording it like she's gonna be the most. Yeah I'm like God bless her because that's what we do that's what our that's literally our job. I know. I'm gonna sit on a couch and be like I know but it is a happy place. like, I know, but see how it is up. She has that huge kitchen and husband. He doesn't care about fame and like,

Yeah. Overs. Fuck her. It's not fair. It's not fair. Okay, so this episode we start this thing where we're watching Naomi's decline, okay? Because Naomi was with Craig and everyone's like,

what are you doing with Craig? He's got damn idiot. Which is true. Yeah. We love him. Oh, and by the way, what a good Craig episode that we have for you to crack up for. Such a good Craig episode. So everybody's like, what are you doing with Craig? He's a doda.

Oh my god, a little sewing machine. He's a doda. He's a dodo bird. What are you doing with him? But now we see, she crazy, too. This girl doesn't have anybody to talk to. So now she's just walking around the whole episode talking to herself.

Did you notice it? It was so good. So it starts, she's calling Craig, and it goes, this voice mail is full, and she's like, oh no, she's calling Catherine, and the voice mail is full, and she's like, sorry. What are you apologizing to?

Yeah, I like Naomi, because I feel like every response is what my response would be. It was like, sorry, the voice mail is full, she goes, oh, and I'm like, I like Naomi because I feel like every response is what my response would be. It was like, sorry, the voice mail is full. She goes, oh, and I'm like, I do that too. Yeah. Clear your voice, mail people. Yeah, she's like, sorry. And then the voice mail is like, sorry. And then she goes, it's okay. Sometimes you just need a Craig to just say whatever's on your mind. Like, yeah, my buddy, it's just I love tacos.. God french fries are good with skin on right and you're like yeah yeah. So then we see Chelsea is FaceTiming with Cameron and she's

like check out my pregnancy boobs. Chelsea, oh that's no all like that. The camera crew's like what are we doing here? Every time there at Chelsea's house they're like why? Yeah it's like I'll bit a toss and again. It's like, okay, great, thanks, Chelsea. So then we have the big conspiracy-inducing scene of the episode. Thomas drowning himself in a sink. Yeah. So Thomas, like, face first into a sink.

Yeah. I mean, was he trying to re-enact every horror movie? Was he hoping that when he put his head up, that there'd be like the ghost of like, Kathmandu past or something? Yeah, he's like Michelle, Michelle 5 for in that bathtub movie. Yeah, with that.

Well, that's important because you know the ghost in that movie, what lies beneath. We all know who the ghost in that movie was. It was Amber Belletta, sister of Rob Belata. It's all connected. Everything comes back to bravo, everyone. If you're trying to listen and someone's talking next to you, feel free to tell them the shut up.

It's okay. Oh yeah, you guys don't talk, have you? But we all, this is a party town. It's a party weekend, and we know who was doing the Coke drain. Everybody knows that's what he was doing. He's getting the goddamn Coke out of his nose so he could still smell for the rest of the day, okay?

We know, we've been there, and then your face tingles after, and you're like, why would I do it like that? So he was doing that, and then the best part is when he comes up, because he's like, boom, boom, boom. And then he the best part is when he comes up because he like He's making a speech the mermaids It worked I Have crossed over

60 So then we go over to be see Craig he's got his little high-life scoop thing on, you know, because he tore tendons in his pinkies because of a butter knife, which the producers make him say every single scene. It's like the postman comes up and says, oh, so what'd you do to your hand? He's like, ah, I stand myself with a butter knife and bro. They're just getting random people off the street.

Can you ask that guy with a mitt? Can you ask him? And you know even the postman's like, you fucking idiot. Like I'm nice to everybody and you're a fucking idiot, okay? Craig is like, he's gone, he's like halfway to cat at this point. He's basically like, so arcade. Knocking shit over.

So arcade. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. It's not worth a laugh. Here, not this one. And it was like drowning out front of the Titanic. So romantic. You know by the way that that life coach is like just a foot away just watching me like, mm-hmm. I'm not going to help you. The best horrified life coach ever. She's always like, well, I was thinking of doing a pillow, but I forgot.

She's like, So then we get to Naomi in a strip mall. Which I don't know why that's just funny. I just think it's funny when you're working out in a strip mall, you know? So she goes in there and she's still talking to herself. The guy's like, She goes, she goes, This is delicious.

I'm gonna be there. Poor thing. Even her gay won't film with her right now. He's like, now. Yeah, I'm taking a shower for five days. I'm gonna say, how many iron the towels? Yeah. So Naomi calls up Danny and she's like,

do you know where Catherine is? Because I was supposed to go boxing with her and I didn't show up and we didn't supposed to go boxing and she's like, um, do you know where Catherine is? Because I was supposed to go boxing with her and I didn't show up and we didn't supposed to go boxing and shiver boxing and too far too far. Bosh! Danny is like, I don't know. I haven't heard from her since Monday. Kind of friends with those. You don't show up to kick boxing and they happen in intervention. Fuck you.

I can't afford that much rehab, it's... Of course I said I would come to kickboxing. It's not gonna happen. So then they call up Shep. And they're like, Shep, Catherine's supposed to go to kickboxing class and she did it and he's like, gawr!

Hurt! Maybe she fell off the wagon. This is like old Catherine stuff. Jates vehicle. Like, she is not like a fat. He's like, her phone is so cracked? Who's so cracked?

Which it is. It is like the most jacked up phone ever to be on Bravo. And every housewife suffered through the iPhone 6. So we saw them all with crack screens at one point or the other. They're like, look, it's a new gorilla glass. And I was like, this didn't work. And I know that because I watched Bravo. Every goddamn iPhone 6 screen was broken at some point.

But hers is really good. It took a bullet somewhere along the way. Or it actually probably literally fell off of a wagon. You know? You know? So he goes. Well, say, well, thanks for calling Naomi. If my knee gets fixed, maybe I'll be Naomi.

You do shop. Yes. OK. If my knee gets fixed maybe I'll be Naomi you do chef. Yes, okay, maybe if my knee gets fixed soon I can I can come garbage boxing with you. Yeah, it's actually like really fun It's hard, but I had a few moments Okay, he just hangs up on her he just goes all right bye He's like not even he like, I did my duty, Bob. So Naomi's still left talking to herself.

She's like, bye. Poor Naomi. Is Naomi even alive? Is she like Bruce Williseng, you know? Poor thing. So next up, we get Chef. And he is, I don't know, it's some breakfast beer place. Charleston really does serve as a loser man.

Like every man on this show is a loser. It's like they're getting beer for breakfast and it's like oatmeal beer. I mean, that's a good town. They know who their people are. Yeah. I like blueberry wheat because there's antioxidant. Leave it or not, I'm antioxidant. That's the same as dental floss, right? So Garso Garso, like his LOL. I'm antioxidants. So Austin shows up, and he orders an allegage. And I was like, that is like the perfect beer for Austin

to order, because it's like the most, it makes his mouth do the most awesome thing. Like, out loud. Oh girl. I'm so glad to finally be able to be this in public. Like, are you conceiving? Because I think I find, I was always trying to figure out, like, what is it that he's doing with this mouth? Because it's always moving. But then I think last trick I got it. It's like when you get like a spider web caught in your tent. Like he passed a spider web and it like hits you.

And then you're like, yeah, and then you keep walking. It's like, it's like a horse, like trying to figure out where the fly like moving the fly with his face. He's like, how do you think the spider feels? Slighter's like, and he was like out of control in the scene. Yeah. So he's talking to, he's talking about his, you know, the latest business his parents bought him, the, the beer thing. And it's like, so gosh, how's how's parent beer? And he's like, well,

I mean, as, as mom beer, the mom beer. He's like, well, as mean, as a... Mom beer. Mom beer. He's like, well, as far as I'm concerned, that, oh, the beer event went really well. It went really well. I mean, someone wrote Queer Beer on the chalk wall, but other than that, it went pretty well.

But now that was, you know Naomi probably did that. I wish that was real, because I could see her doing that. Idiot. Weird, weird. So, we see its parents are going in best in this beer, but they're going to hold them accountable, which means they want it all. That goes, that goes.

Now listen, we expect success, not failure. It's like, okay. When it go out on the limb there? Yeah. I'll just be successful, all done. I don't have to say my dad could have taken. At first I was like, what a basic, obvious dad thing to say. But my dad was just so used to it.

I was like, Charlie, I was like a gay Charlie Brown, you know? So my dad would just be like, I'm gonna love you anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Just keep going there, buddy. Woo! Go! Dad beer!

So it turns out that after the camera stopped rolling at Austin's event, he and Victoria had a big ol' fight. Okay. And you know she kept that stupid all-of-green gardening hat off. Yeah, that can Victoria. I made a suit for three days. You're here drinking beer. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Three days, Luke. So apparently Austin made a huge mistake. He told Victoria that he gave Chelsea a big hug, so big, he lifted Chelsea off the ground a little bit. Well, who does that? What an idiot. You know, this show does this a lot, where they're like, oh, these women are so crazy. And what is wrong with these women?

And then they show that, and it's like, you gas-lighting mother fuck. Who does that? Okay, no, we just made up. Yeah. Yeah, but it was also just a hug. And on top of that, she was not. No, but it was purpose. But it was also just a hug and on top of that, she was not. That was a bachelor. Okay.

This was Austin. Okay, no. Okay, yeah. This is Austin and I'll be Chelsea, okay. That was some batsled red. Let's not forget who was dating Austin first though. Okay. What have you been trying to make her crazy? You know, I'm not defending Austin like that.

I'm just saying Victoria was a little like oh, yeah, Victoria is still an asshole. See that's the thing I it's like one person not being an asshole doesn't make another person on it It's not some game. We're only one asshole can exist at the time people I mean there's like 400 of them here right now literal Assholes here right now I love so I mean aepet thinks this is all hilarious. He's just laughing and he's like, gosh, like why would you even tell her it's like some romantic comedy you know and as he's saying this, just like red is falling out of his mouth. He's like, oh, like you see those lines, you know when people eat with their mouth open

and you just see lines. Like since this part is always flying everywhere with him. I was like, remember that scene in sleepless in Seattle where Tom Hanks like spat corn and beg Ryan's face? That's what it was like. So his like, Austin's like, well, she was like, you've been spending new around when we got together. So, she's taught to drink on me.

And she goes, in you course, which I love that that's where chef minds chef's mind goes and he's not even kidding Yeah, like been there you can also tell this is why Victoria was not cut out for reality TV because anyone knows if you know throw a drink on someone The cameras better be real You raised this person What sort of beast is this woman making super throwing drinks when cameras aren't there? Who does it? At least it wasn't. Well, she wasn't going to throw that soup.

She was like, I'm saving the soup for me. This chaffer. Well, did you call her and try and he goes, no. I mean, what do you do but go into a new bird? Well, no, he goes, well, here's where Austin is real dick. Well real dick, because he's like, well, I said get in that Uber go home And it's been radio silence ever since and she's like, oh, she has in taxi. He's like, oh no, I'm not blocked her For some reason I haven't heard from her that is so I saw that is so us we'd like somebody be like, oh my god I don't get a text anymore

What a bitch. Like get on a different platform and try harder. So he goes, you know, he's like relationships are rough, okay? Because you know that I need like trust to my relationship. You also need someone with a better job because you spent a lot of their money. He went, well that's why he said trust.

Cause it's short for trust for unrest. But money. He went on... Well, that's why he said trust. Because it's short for trust, fun. But trust. He went on... For Robbo or Instagram or somewhere and gave an interview and they're like, what's up with Chelsea saying that, you know, you would go outside and smoke in the bill case so that she had to pay.

And he's like, I mean, come on. Those were like $40 bills. If it was like a $40 check, I totally would have paid it. I mean, someone's significant. I'm sure. I was just waiting for a really expensive one. Garsh, it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and

Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.

So now we then head over to what even evens her house co-house has a have a name like lease a band of them as bill of bill arosa but patricia just has like flamingo court something i don't know what's a trip does it have an a legato's fauna cat and rants whatever what is a little fat to see has yet yet and i think that's what it is called rants so we go over to patricia who's saunting around smelling flowers, etc. And America's sweetheart comes by Ashley

Ashley writes it on her hair flick She's like You know, we've asked we've asked this many times on our social media, but now that we have a live audience Who is worse Ashley or Landon Ashley? Ashley's words I agree Because Landon didn't mean to be terrible like that and was terrible mostly when Catherine was around and like her jealousy Shit remember most of the time she was just like She was just like sweet like pretending to be sweet. I don't know how to make

this is how much things could change. A year later, well you know she was just sweet just trying to be sweet. Well, we forget, you know, you forget. Sure, but, oh. Um, actually, it's fucking psycho, yeah. What's worse? Landon is too, but Landon has, I think it makes it easier to take landing because she got daddy money to lean back on. So she can be a bitch whenever she just has the energy, you know?

Doesn't have to be a bitch all day just to make a living, okay? Actually, it's working harder. Yeah. Know how hard it is to launch a website that you just to make a living. Okay, Ashley is working harder. Yeah. You know how hard it is to launch a website that you're never gonna launch? That's hard. That's difficult. We have fallen down the WordPress hole, bitch.

Yeah, Rome.com. I know Rome's all mad still. So let's see, Michael's like, hello, Miss. And Adam's in the drawing room. We always talk about how in service when Michael's like, hello, Miss. And at Madam's in the drawing room, we always talk about how in service when people are like, thank you, this meal was so great, this was amazing, here's that. You know they go home and beat their children,

like they're horrible people, like people who are that like overly kind or whatever. And that's Ashley. And this is, I'm bringing this up because this is my proof that Ashley's a total, a horror face, okay? Because she comes over and she's like, Hi Michael, how are you? Hi, thank you for having me.

Oh my God. Thank you. So she comes in, she's already kissing Patricia's ashes like, thank you for seeing me. I, because you know, she got like a horse throat for some reason. So she's like, thank you for seeing me. Because you got like a horse throat for some reason. So she's like, thank you. I know how busy you are. It's like, so yeah, thank you.

I was just adjusting a vase. It's been a very hectic day here at the house. So busy. I know how valuable your time is. Thank you so much for your time. And Patricia goes, yo, throw. I know how valuable your time is. Thank you so much for your time. And Patricia goes, yo throw. You know what you need a hot tonny and a muzzle. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Michael, there we go. Michael, an actual Michael with an actual bell, you guys. We need two medicinal drinks.

Anna Martini, both for me. Just give her some code in. Medisinal drinks. I'll need a Martini, and she'll need to get a job. Hoa, Jin-Sing. Oh, she's not. Read her. only to Matini and still need to get a job, ho, a gin sink, oh, you're right. All right.

So Patricia is like, how has been going on? And she's like, well, things have been okay. And you know, I just, it's just it's hard because I'm a sore throat and it turns out the halls of medicine is not a real place. And I don't know. And like her voice is doing that a real place. I don't know. And like her voice is doing that quiver thing where you don't know if she's about to cry

or just like scream bloody murder, which is like the scariest kind of voice quiver there is, you know? I don't believe people like this, because I've watched a lot of American Idol back in the old day with Fantasia. And whenever there was like a really bad singer who wasn't prepared, there was like, it's my throat.

Oh. How did this happen? I'm not sure if I'm gonna try the first thing. Oh. It's like, no, you're just terrible, you know? That's Ashley. Like, she's sense that she's just failing big time, I think, at this point.

So she's like, no one cares, bitch. So she's like, well, so basically what happens? We were shopping and I said, like, remember, remember when we were shopping at, well, so basically what happens, we were shopping and I said, like, remember when we were shopping at, twins, twins of Greater Charleston. We were shopping at twins and I made that silly joke that like, next time let's go ring shopping.

I put you, she goes, yes, how's that going? Like you stupid, stupid elf. Yes. She's like, whoa, it's been hard. We bumped the brakes. I don't know what you mean. The brakes, you know, like on a car. I ride Michael. Is that like a whoseless carriage?

I'm not sure. It's kicking me in his muffin top one time and he stops. It's hard to talk about it without getting too emotional. I'm like, you didn't go to sales today, relax. It's okay. I've refused to drive since Henry IV showed up at a dinner Friday wearing no socks. So Patricia, she loves this.

She loves, she's just sitting back. And it's good, since we're in the captains, we can actually look like Patricia. She just sits back and is like Tell me more sad, Crittia Also credit where credit is due and I'm not just kissing ass because we got some free some free captains Okay, credit where credit is due someone told Patricia about Checos, and I'm living for Patricia in a glitter sweater, Lisa Rinne Dusty her thing. My credit sheet, learn that.

I'm not used to seeing it, I was like, see it's really up and hurting. God bless. So they asked me, he's like, I'm sure you heard about him, Ed. Oh, oh. Michael.

He's like, China's sort of the you heard about it. I don't know. Oh, Michael. I'm just like, it's like, China's or the martini of the hair is flying in his face. So basically, she's like, well, it's so hard, you know, moving across the country, leaving my family. Like, Ashley, ain't nobody feeling for you. It's a different time zone. It's hard.

And then she's trying to pretend she's my, but she goes, and then, you know, I had a confrontation with the mother of Thomas's children. Her hair is like full water buffalo at this point. I was like, just mentioning Katherine. We were first to, and they do it like a flashback. They do a flashback to that episode. I mean, how amazing was that Hilton head trip? And they just do a flat. It only happened two weeks ago, but watching the flashback, I was like, oh my God, remember that. That was so great.

She's just going, how many times did you visit your son in the hospital? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, you're not in the WWE. Calm down.

She want those kids Chelsea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chelsea. Chelsea. What happens Yeah. She's up. She's up. See. What if this was a wear on a horse?

Um, I put, she didn't come in with the flickable hair today. I feel like they're shooting this in real time and they just know that we're going to be like that hair flicking dry hair bitch. You know? She's like, I'm going to protect myself today and come in a ponytail. But she still did a lot of air acting. Like when she was trying to make a point, she'd be like, so I'm sure you heard about,

and her ponytail would be like, heard about, hey. It's impressive, I have to say. I mean, she's a bitch, but she's a good air actor. Yeah. So she comes in and Michael comes back in to deliver their drinks while she's like, well, the mother of the children or whatever. Well, she's like, Michael, Michael, drop the, do not speak in front of Michael.

Well, because she's in full, asher's in full sob story, if I actually say, well, Catherine sent a text that said, I was, it was just really hateful and angry. It said that I was like scary and like, I really heard. And like, these kids, they've been my family too. And she's just like, fully there. And Michael just comes in and she's like,

and she was like, um, do not speak in front of Michael. I don't want him getting ideas. By the way, anything, just like ideas in general. Also actually shut the fuck up. up i mean what are you talking about that really hurt you realize you just went and went to this this woman year Catherine at this at this event and you were just like i see your kids more than you do they're like my kids now and now you're saying oh she sent a

text and that's hurtful please take a a seat. Go to Shut Up Mountain. Okay. So, Patricia's like, it is El Pardian. And, what? As she goes, it is El Pardian. Yeah. She does this, like we're still moving this part of her mouth, because she's like,

look, I'm smiling. Look, it's like when a kid gets out of the dentist and they're like smile just like be fuckers the dentist and the mouth is all numb they're like it's funny because as Ronnie's doing this on the back of this book it's a picture of Patricia smiling at Ronnie so I just imagine she's sitting there just but not with not with not here here you can tell this is like the dead smile where she's like So she's like yeah, it's like I'm just dealing with an older man And I'm like get your shit together. He has a bridge. I mean Thomas is a horrible human being It deserves to be burned at the stake

But the man has family money Which is why you called him over at that Barthachese cake factory dish. Don't pretend like you just ended up here somehow, like you tricked you. Well, because she's saying, you know, she's been sick for 10 days and it's... Petrusha's like, you think your immune system's run down? Well, of course it is. So she's like, she's like, I'm just, I'm stressed, I don't know what to do. I mean, I picked up my life to come here. I'm like, are you seriously saying this is your stress right now?

Do you know what like real stress is? And it's not that you move from Santa Barbara to a mansion, South Carolina. Okay, that's not real stress. There are people who are going through real stress right now, and it's not that. Also, she's complaining about an old man that parties too much, and she's talking to Whitney's mom.

Ha ha ha. Like what kind of feeling do you think you're going to get out of this woman? She's like, amped? Sometimes I cry. And I think, is this what I envision from my life? I mean, like he's on TV. This is like the Britney syndrome.

OK. All the evidence was there. He is Thomas Ravinell. I'm not going to he's on TV. This is like the Britney syndrome, okay? All the evidence was there. He is Thomas Ravinell. I'm not gonna feel sorry for you. You can cry as much as you want. Oh, so I don't want to know what you envisioned for your life, okay? We already saw what Craig, we already saw Craig do a vision board and it was like headless people.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Like glue gunned onto some poster board. I don't want to know what this bitch is, will be. I don't want it to see me. It's like corn stalks. Like corn stalks. Like corn stalk hair on like popsicle sticks. It'll be disturbing. So Patricia's giving her advice, which I love that everyone's

coming to Patricia for advice, because it's always like, just let the old man be an old man. It's like, well, thanks. Glad I came here, you know? Yeah. So she's like Dr. Laura. You know her, Dr. Laura, that be us, Dr. from the radio. People would call it and be like,

oh my God, my husband, I think it's mentally abusive. And Dr. Laura would be like, your fault. It's like, you're amazing every call. She'd find it's like, oh, I got a disease in my leg. My leg's gonna get amputated. Oh, wow, wow. You should've thought of that, got your leg checked. That's Patricia advice.

Get that in the ball. Get that in the ball. I learned in my 105 years on this old rock, I called Michael's back. Hi, Michael, start turning. Start turning. Men don't change. Now, in terms of managing Thomas,

and feminists aren't gonna like this. It's like you're talking to a woman fucking Thomas for a one bedroom, okay? I think your audience is fine. Just sit there and listen. And I like what Patricia said. She goes, she's like, in the South, we don't get into these issues. And as my mother used to say, keep quiet and just think of England.

I actually do that already quite a bit. And the southerners pointed out all over the place on the internet that that's not the saying at all. It's live back in think of England, which I tried to do when you're married to a fucking king, that is basically like, right banging you every night in the marriage bed. Lay back and think of England.

You're doing something for your country. Like, that's what the saying means. But Patricia cleaned it up for TV. So she's like, sit quiet and think of England. I thought of England and all I could think of was to read in PK, so it didn't work for me. Yeah. Pretty much. Guys, guys guys have a great relationship, guys. Guys, I'm thinking of England.

For 37 seconds I made it this time, almost got down into the tube. I like that every time she thinks that when she's just like trying to get to the tube and she just wakes up right before she gets there. PK only lasts like 37 to 40 seconds. So that would trust you. Okay, now Patricia is taking a hard pivot. Okay, we're suddenly she's going to like be nice to get through it now. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm not sure if someone looked at their Twitter metrics.

I don't know what's happening. But we know it's a huge pivot because Trixi Monaco was dragged in from the alley to give us some new music. And it's not guitar strumming shit, which is not allowed on this show. OK? This show should be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But this is like, brrrrrrrrr so she's like well there's one thing you should know Katherine will always be there's the mother's

children or the mother of those children forever and the guitar's like she did it she finally did it Aaron Neville starts to sing for some reason I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. Aaron Neville starts to sing for some reason. It's like she has accepted her. Like what? I did start taking that into like, find like Mexican restaurant music where it's like brrrr.

This is for the lovers. Brrrr. Brrrr. Brrrr. Katie is all thinking there for her Okay, Michael has a fan Okay, so now we go to Chelsea's house where she's sweeping

Chelsea! Chelsea, you know, and Naomi comes over She's like, ah! So I brought over some juices because Wilson's really into juices right now so there's some juices drink there And Chelsea's like, okay! Uhhh! That hurt is a middle straw.

Mike, damn. How hard did you go into that drink? She's like, it's why they're trying to outwash straws in America. People like Chelsea, okay, knocking themselves in the face. I'm not gonna lie, I'm done with myself. Yeah, but the middle straws do kind of suck. Let's do suck. Okay. No, sure. Let's get a round of applause for anti-middle straws, you know. One of the reason we're getting what is the reasons that we're getting rid of straws, I forgot is it's like ocean?

It's probably like the world. Plastic. We guys as long as we're getting as long as we're getting onto a little bit of a soap box here Let me just take a moment to say fucking out of the airlines getting rid of shrewp waffles, right? Thank you. I really wanted to take advantage. I thought I'd have like a little bit more support on that, but that's okay. We can't all be We can't all be pro shrewp waffle So Naomi comes in like talking to herself or whatever, you know, she's like beat straw will say whatever and

She's like well get this I was supposed to be English English please I was supposed to be kickboxing with Catherine and I haven't heard from her Okay, and no one has heard from her since Monday and that was Monday and this is Thursday and tomorrow's Friday so Okay, I know one has heard from her since Monday and that was Monday and this is Thursday in tomorrow's Friday. So. They're like, oh my God. What if she's on drugs again? What if she's on drugs? She can be throwing it all away. By the way, I loved Austin's beer.

I loved Austin's beer. Me too. At least they didn't drink a beer because that is so they're shouting. They're like, poor cow friends are drunk. Let's have a beer party. If I got the drink, you know like poor cow friends are drunk let's have a beer party if I got the right you know so they're like let's have a drink but not beer so then they're talking about how what's our buns are gonna have a yeah Cameron is letting people is gaining to let people come to hear baby or whatever

and Craig can't go because Cameron is making everybody get a flu shot first. Yeah. So Cameron wants everyone to get a flu shot before they touch Palmer. And Craig's like, uh, no, because if I have to walk backwards for the rest of my life because my crazy government to do a shot. That's like, wait a second. Wait. Who's saying anything about walking backwards? And apparently, maybe it could help. I mean, if anything, I think get the man a flu shot. I mean, that could only... You stabbed yourself with a butter knife, dude. Walk backwards.

Try backwards. Just try alternate ways to what I'm saying. Yeah, try different paths. So apparently Craig read an article about a woman who got a flu shot and affected part of her brain, according to this article, and she also walked backwards with a rest of her life. I know this word gets thrown around. This phrase gets thrown around a lot, but I kind of feel like that might be fake news. But Craig is like, yeah, like, she walks backwards, she falls into ditches all the time, she has to have like special rear view mirrors and like, but the really cool thing is that she gets picked up for like Michael Jackson tribute bands all the time. Which would be kind of cool for me. I think that it's so funny that Chelsea basically

set that by saying the other thing that everybody automatically thinks of when I think of fake news, because she goes, was that on YouTube? Ha ha ha. Like if it's on YouTube, it's automatically wrong. Which, oh my god. Listen. There's a fly there.

Look at the fun you. It's gay escape ride. Oh, there is a fly. I'm There's a fly there. Look at you. Okay, it's gay pride. Oh, there is a fly. I'm going to be a giant. I thought aiding stereotype of myself. Chelsea is actually, one thing I do like about Chelsea is that she is low-key shady. She's really good at sort of like giving this look and like a little laugh. And she's like, uh-huh. Forest Gump was never me to anybody. I just want anti-baxers to know that Craig is your poster boy, so just consider it.

Consider your stance in life. So he's going to get to speak at some event for anti-baxers. They're going to be like, please welcome to the stage, the pillow maven, the pillow magnaise. Craig Conover, Craig come up to the stage Craig will forever have a little beep he's like I can't see all that boys running out the way And I like it. this is a fun talk. Craig's still a fucking idiot. Oh, he's ill.

Wait, I love Craig's reasoning though. Like, his big moment is, I'm supposed to risk how I walk to see a baby. No, Craig. No, you be you. He starts walking backwards anyway. Oh no, it's too late. It's already happened. Craig. I love watching people on the internet every week. Like, Craig is Bay. That's like

one picture that was just cracking me out. Someone in here made that on our face. But as the picture, Craig, and I like, why would and how can anybody be mean to crack? He has felt guilty. He has felt free and this week everyone's like how does he get less hot? Every week just don't let him speak ever So speaking of Cameron's finally out of the house So she's just you know she's like showing up to see wherever they tell her there's food here. She's like I'll be there Who's been a fan of Cameron since real-world San Diego we love I love Cameron so anyway so Cameron is at this barbecue place with chef and Whitney and she's basically like I feel like I'm a prisoner to the breastfeeding and she shows

up because she's been producing a lot of breastfeeding. Oh yeah, producing a lot of mail. She's like, I'm gushing. Okay. So Cameron's one of those people that's like, I don't even want to talk about a baby. And you know, we all have that friend. I mean, I am that friend. Yeah. And then we have the baby.

And that's all you fucking ever hear about again, is that right? This fucking baby. There's some Facebook show this week, like, well, once you have that baby, all you care about is that little bundle of luck. And like, oh, you became every asshole you didn't want to be. So quickly. Yeah.

Congratulations on your baby. Keep it at home. Yeah, okay Great so Whitney is like Mother How long you have to breastfeed for and she's like aren't you still breastfeeding? I was like she's doing our job for us doing our job for us. Yeah They don't pay Michael for nothing I'm just getting like visions of like Mad Max thunder row like the opening scene stuff like Whitney nevermind

I tell us not to why do this to the audience why why introduce that that Whitney is staying off they show a lot like how so the parties have spit out there and step it for the most part It's like I don't know maybe sick of getting called an old sexually abusing freak or whatever, you know people make on them So it's not really starting up, but then every time he shows up, he's so fucking creepy, you know, every time. He's only in this for like two minutes this week. Yeah. The camera is like, I brought some breath milk for you.

He's like, oh, Renob. There's a real Renob killer. Mother says drink it. She triple-talked to me. Triple-talked to her and me, mother did. That's it all out. But meanwhile, Shep tries and he's like, gosh, it's good! Meanwhile, Shep tries and he's like, gosh, it's good!

So good luck Austin. Sounds like you have a new competition on the beverage market. Shep's baby milk. So we're about midway through the show, right, Ben? Probably only on the third scene, but sure. Like five minutes into the show. Gay pride will be over at the time you leave this theater. All the doors have been locked.

Yeah. But since we are celebrating the Countess and Friends. Yeah. I think it's time to bring one of our favorite friends of the show to the stage to sing the theme song to Sothercharm. Yeah. And her name is Miss Tanya LePone. to the stage to sing the theme song to Suther charm. Yeah. And her name is Miss Patty LePone.

Yes, Patty LePone. Patty LePone. You're music stopped. What happened to my music? You stopped it. I did not. Oh, I didn't have multitasking enabled in my orchestra. Try that again. He's got money, he's a magazine, he's got more money, I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought

I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought

I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little bit more than I thought I'm a little, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man You're welcome. Would you believe it, girls? Potty the phone, Cove. You're welcome. I love that, bitch. I'm surprised you didn't take this whole bottle with her. This is actually for her. Patty, we'll have the tea does for you after, girl. Anyway, so Cameron,

Whitney, Shepney, Shepney, Shepney, that's their couple name. Wait, who means? Where are we? We're still in the same scene. Oh, God. How hard do I have to clear a goddamn scene? I mean, that was a pretty hard clear, don't you think? Okay, we can clear the scene. Clear the scene. Clear the scene. Okay, shall I bring in another orchestra that cleared this? God damn scene! No, we'll move on to the next scene, which is Craig...

Meeting a friend in a bar. Oh my God. Craig. Craig and his law school friend Warren Warren So this is how it starts off with like rainy. There's sort of been like trench coat They look like they're in a spy movie Where the stakes are really low like someone stole like a sugar packet You see how yeah, it's like check it out

C.I.I. Sugar. They're both in McGruff the McGrGruff, the crime dog jacket, both of them, in different colors. So Warren and Craig went to law school together, and they spent like every day together running around in the fields and stuff like that, catching butterflies. And I was like, yeah, Warren's an old law school friend. And like, we like did everything together. Well, we didn't graduate together, but we walked together. We walked together when I lied about graduating the first time.

Yeah. He covered for me after my lie the second time. Only Craig could walk two years before they graduate. Yeah. This fucking guy. So Warren, you know that he's really legitimately a friend of Craig because he goes, what happened to you? Yeah.

Craig's like, I stabbed myself with a butter knife. The producers are like, yes. Yes, he did it again. Yeah. So Warren's just like this fucking guy. This fucking guy, right? So he's like, so how's your life? You still marry?

And Warren's like, yeah, Margaret and I will be a year tomorrow. Oh no, Margaret, my kid, right? What's your thing is kid? The kid will be a year tomorrow. Oh, no, Margaret, my kid, right? Let's do things as kid. The kid will be a year tomorrow. And you know, the practice is going exceedingly well. I was like, don't use words like exceedingly around Craig. You did.

Who does that? I love gardening. I love seedingly things. So Warren's like, so are you looking for a job? Or anything is like, I'm not gonna work for anyone. Are you kidding me? Pillow makers like me, we just can't pick up down, you know? I'm an author.

But then Craig asks weird questions, right? Cause we're like, you have a lot practice, well, a lot, seedingly. And Craig is like, oh yeah, who's working on your personal injury? And he's like, do you want the job? And he's like, no. Do you want to see my resume for that job application? Oh, you're applying? No.

No. So Warren's like, so what is your job? Exactly. He's like, uh, hello, seamstress. Or seamster, signing you, jobber to the Navy. You do. You do, it's. Miss Patricia.

What, it's me to sew a pillow. That's like you're talking about your kindergarten teacher, right? Like Miss Patricia. Ha, ha, ha. Miss Patricia. Warren's like, do you have a business plan? And Craig just goes, no, like what a ridiculous question. A business plan, these pillows just make themselves.

You understand this is farcical, right? I didn't fart. I think it's actually nearby. So Warren's like, you know, you have a doctor in the law, and it's unusual. And he's like, I'm a lawyer, not a doctor. So I don't really get what you're trying to say. He whips out the phone picture. He's like, oh, let me explain to you. I know it sounds stupid, but you got to see it.

You got to see it. It's the CLIPARP pillow, like the two plastic palm trees with like two dogs, and he goes, Craig, you can't do clip arts. Well, even, I mean, the fact Warren, who's a lawyer, who spends all his days looking at legal briefs, looks at it and is like, is that clip art? Like a war, no, it's just, it's like, what is on this?

Like, you know that the previous pillow had like flying toasters on it, and a dancing banana. You don't have to be a lawyer to get an evite. You know what I mean? We all know what clipar looks like. So he's like that is awful and mispatrisso whatever the fuck kind of kindergarten teacher she is even she is not going to print this it's stupid even for kindergartners okay. Craig goes, well the sewing lady like them. So he goes, I've been to Warren's house and he has hundreds of pillows but guess what? He didn't by him. His wives did and I guarantee he had no saying what they look like. So he's not my target audience. Not my target.

So I guess women like Clipart more? So great. This is target audience. It's like a goldfish. It's like a goldfish. Wouldn't buy that. Like even like a literal target audience. That is me. Wouldn't buy that at target even.

Plus his heart though. I love that he just like went to cafe press and put some palm trees at there That's what it came up with. I also liked that his livelihood is sowing and he like basically tore the ligaments in his hand with a butter knife like what? You have like one thing that you can do and that's protect your hands Greg Protect your hands Series trying to talk to me. I don't know why my computer just goes serious not available I'm like well, I wasn't talking to you. Serious place. I want to come down so the guitar Glyss guy is back and my go Jesus now. What is what is Patricia gonna feel? But it's not it's like a glitz glitz

but it's Patricia gonna feel. But it's not. It was like, I was shocked. I didn't just like, cut to him at like a girl's gone wild shoot with some like 18 year old girls and be like, yes, girl sounding around the kids. He's like, but I thought it'd be part of a nuclear family, not as a single dad. You can see he's like, I sleeped it in my bed all night. He's like, all right, well, let me unswrap you then. All right, now, good job. Go to D-Drop. And he's talking about how co-parenting lately has been really good at Katherine. He's like, well, she obviously has made a transition from a young, carefree adult to a real

woman with a real heart. I was like, shut the fuck up. What are you talking about? It's like the end of Wizard of Oz. It's like what every woman wants to hear. Thomas Ravin, I'll give you the seal of approval. You finally got a real heart. So I can give you the seal of approval. You finally got a real heart, taking care of my children.

So you got like multi-colored cute haircut in like a heart and some mom jeans or whatever. So let's see, Thomas starts talking about Ashley. And he's like, well, Ashley is very upset because I haven't asked to demer him. And a woman of Ashley's caliber doesn't just want to wait around for something that's not going to happen. I'm like, well, when are you going to impregnate her for fun?

So just watch her bag, OK? I also liked how, as an example of Catherine being a better lady now, they just showed this random flashback of Catherine being like, um, do you want to make Christmas cards? I was like, yes. And then it's like, photos, that was fun. I was like, ah, it's like the height of maturity. You make Christmas cards.

I'm about to bat where the ol' and Glen is in the mall. And Kat Thomas was like, you did it, that's all I wanted. So then we go over to. We actually have a question. I do have a question. At the end of this scene, when Thomas walked out of his children's bedroom, the camera sort of like tilted up to this drawing of Thomas. Was that Ashley...

I couldn't tell if it was Ashley or Debra Norville. Was it Ashley? It was Catherine. People are like really fired up right now. This is like. Was it? Wait, was it Catherine? Was it like this is a game show where

everybody's sorry? Okay, Catherine. Well, we'll drive the Catherine home. Thank you. Thank you. So the next day drama, uh, yeah it's like, look at your mother. Isn't she doing a good job today? Catherine Shaw has learned to be quiet when I needed to be.

Good job, Catherine. Good job. The painting's just heard in the mid of a ur. So next up, Danny and Naomi are driving together and they're playing the music from like cops, okay? They're doing that. That's like found footage. It's in the back seat.

Like the camera's like, yeah, like, oh my God, that's an intervention. Oh my God, it's stopped playing. I'm a Catholic. You know what I mean? Yeah. So she missed two days of work at Gwyn's, where she was interning, and they're like, I don't know what's going on, like,

I don't know, maybe it's because Ashley, it's a lot of stress for Catherine, like what are we gonna do, can we pick a lock, and I was like, I can pick a lock. So, Greg taught me. Has Craig ever done anything right ever? I'm like, if she does this, I will be so fucking impressed with Craig.

Okay, and of course, she's like, it doesn't fit in the hole. This lock is too small. I'm like, yeah, every lock is too small. Craig did not teach you that. I'm just trying to imagine Craig trying to pick a lock. I feel like it would be sort of like... trying to pick a lock. I feel like it would be sort of like...

Well, at least I don't feel sick. It didn't work. Oh, ding, ding. We're like, what? So let's see here. So they're at a front door. They're acting nice, right? Because we really care about Catherine. And if she's falling off the wagon, we want to know and help her in front of TV cameras when she could possibly lose her child at any moment. What the fuck you bitches think you're knocking?

If you ever not look, my friends already know. If you smell something, you still can knock. You kids don't knock on my door. Maybe I'm dead. Maybe I'm drunk. Maybe I'm on a 10 day bender. Maybe I've been dead for months. You better not motha fucking knock on my door with some cameras. Okay? You know it's bad. You know that they're messing up,

because the producers give them the Craig time titles. They go 10 minutes later, which is only reserved for Craig doing something simple like, uh, where am I scissors? 10 minutes later. So they like, they find the property manager. It's like 10 minutes later. So they find the property manager. It's like 10 minutes later, the property manager's like, she's not dead. Because it's called a wellness check. That's what they do, apparently, in apartment buildings. Not in mind, OK?

So my dog barely knows how to sit down, but he knows how to open a door knob. He will get himself out of there. Speaking of Craig, we then go over to Craig's house, which still looks just like a total disaster. I mean, if anyone needs a wellness check, it's that house. And he is trying to assemble Buke, but he is so buster-bluth at this moment.

He is literally doing this with the flowers, and they're just like falling all over. He's trying to pick them up, and he's like, he's like mashing the flower in the ground like, oh no. I didn't even get to ask if she loves me not. Oh. So then Michael walks into his house,

and he goes ring ring, ring ring, Miss Patricia. So he answers and his Patricia calling and he's like, I love that prairie. He's like, I love that prairie. He did it.

I think it's hilarious the idea that Craig is trying to beautify his place with a flower arrangement when there are just like cockroaches everywhere. Soiled under pants on the floor, a hole in the wall, he's like, oh, this would be a nice flower arrangement. Ah, Rose died. But anyway, Patricia calls.

He's like, I'm trying to be a culture that don't make flower arrangements. And she just goes, oh dear. She just knows. Yeah, she's like, don't talk to me about that. Can you pop over for pillows? We can finalize. We're running out of time on mine.

Yeah. She's like, come on over in an hour. She's been sitting in the same position all season long. She's like, we're running out of time now. I've just rearranged the Vaz for Ashless, so maybe you want to come over and see it. Have you even moved? So it's like, come on over on an hour. She's like, all right, so it's like 4.45.

They show them on the computer and be like, it's like a beautiful mind except like with very low numbers It's like one plus one equals three No, it's awesome. It's like he's having to use a MacBook with one hand. He's like He's like, oh no. It won't open. Oh no. It's like that scene in Wolf of Wall Street where Leonardo Caprio gets on the quail eggs and whatever and crawls out of the country club.

It's like right by like He's fully not aware that he can't use his other Oh Was so close that time Oh, God. Oh, damn it. I was so close that time. For people who were listening at home, we are fooling around with our fake right hands. They're like, what is happening on this podcast? And they're like, 5.45.

And he's like, bloody from like hitting the computer screen with his head, you know? And then we cut to Patricia's house, and Michael's like, you have a delivery matum, and she's like, oh, good. Michael, you have to have the proper Pope-Berry. There's nothing worse than bad Pope-Berry. It's good Pope but Marie. Oh, God. The Bob Marie. My. You're a

camel now. Don't you. You're a donkey, man. My. Oh, all the elephants start just like walking towards her, like going around the circles. Michael's walking upside down on the ceiling. It's like crawling around. Michael sees her. That less spotting.

So she's like, where is Craig? And he goes, oh, probably doing his hair again, madam. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. She's like, I have like God one, Michael. I'm glad we get to say that on gay pride. Yeah. Cut the Craig his hair is all tangled up in his paw. He's like, oh God, this couldn't get any worse.

Oh no. He was just like rubbing his head on the ground. I'm gonna do my hair. He's gonna walk into Patricia's with like, wind chimes attached to him and like, leaves a snail. So he says that over there. He says that to Patricia's. At this point, it's now like 6.30.

So it's been about three or four hours. He's been two hours and Patricia's just basically been doing lines of popery. So he comes, she still has not moved from that fucking chair, you know. He has his little flower arrangement and one of the flowers is broken and he's like, sorry, one broke on the way over. I'm like, you can't even carry flowers. That's only one hand.

He never takes responsibility for anything. He didn't break the flower. It broke itself. It's like, it broke. So Patricia's like, hey, Michael, check this out. Hey, Craig, what happened to your hand? It's like, I severed it with a butter knife. I feel like, ah!

Yeah, I think he tried to sound smarter in front of Patricia and Michael because he was like, I severed my tendon in my pinky ER nailed it. He's walking back. And he's like, it slowed me down. Okay. So now he's already like whining up the excuse, right? Yeah.

My pinky, I was trying to make a pillow with the butternice. He hurt on the job. I have some fabrics and he like knocks over the popery box. Sorry She's like the fabrics don't make a difference Craig eat and he's like god damn it You know how much money he is given to this fabric bitch over in fabric bitch corner in the strip mall He's been five thousand dollars on that pineapple print that she's like oh Craig you have to get this pineapple print for five thousand dollars Well, I guess it's what Kutor calls for. I was like, well, I guess I might as well show you all shit.

He's like going to cafe press or whatever. And then he's like, he shows her. She says, well, that's cute, I guess. I'm happy to make the dogs. And he goes, a stencil. He goes, I got a stencil, but then I colored a man. That was hard. You can't make this shit. I was like I'm not married to me lately.

I love guys like that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to do a cram or colored pencil but then I went with my chick marker and I'm really like really proud of my artistic vision. She's like, Craig, she's like, you can't get anything off the internet. It has to be original. Yeah, but we can least feed off of it. I got the creative juices going.

Yeah, I can't look like Clip-O, Craig. My problem is timing. And he goes, well, do you have a direction for me to go in? And she's like, we needed the design by today's two days. She's like, she's like, yes, we do. He's like, okay, good because the thing is I can only walk backwards now. So whatever direction you're telling me, I'll just do the opposite of it. But Craig, I feel like we're walking backwards.

I feel like we're going in circles. She's like, damn it. Oh, it's getting worse. Naomi probably gave me that shit in my sleep. She's like, we need to have the design right now. He's like, oh, I wasn't aware of that. And then we see a flashback of her being like, we need this in like two weeks.

She's like, it's been three months. Yeah, two months. Now, for those of you guys who are like, who pay attention to things like this, back in September, we did a show back in LA. I don't know if you remember this, but one thing we were telling people, we were like, hey guys,

we're gonna do a giveaway at our show, and one of the things we're gonna give away, is a pillow by Craig. Yeah! Little did we realize, well, I mean, now you see we never gave it away. And now we know why. We blame Naomi. You see, we're like cast members on this show. We blame the woman every time.

And then we see the whole season, we're like, it was mother fucking Craig. That lazy son of a bitch. He never even made the bed. You know, we didn't even make it. He can't make a pillow. He can't make a pillow. God, I love him. Okay, so Patricia's like,

well, I'm giving you more latitude than I normally would, but Craig, we're gonna have to table it. He's like, I will, make you a table. I will. Like, no Craig. So then he's like, she beats his like, yeah, it's just business. But it's just business.

Table beats me. And he's like, so he's like is trying to like calibrate. And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna see what I, you know, and I like, I've done animal stuff and I'm on until he's maybe like the time and you know, it's, you know, mutton knife and you know, like what are you saying Craig? Just words are popping out of his mouth.

He's like maybe you know I should put in more time on this. It's like yes. All he has to do is make a pillow. It's a rectangle. It's a rectangle. The biggest surprise here is that he didn't take the flowers back. Because that's such a Craig thing to do. I'm taking those flowers back.

He's like thank you, Miss Petri, Sheshirek. Thanks Craig. What the fuck? So he leaves and then he goes to the car I'm taking those flyers back. He's like, thank you, Miss Petri, especially that, thanks Greg. What a fucking idiot. So he leaves and then he gets to the car and it's like when someone gets kicked off the bachelor and they show them like the limo or they're crying. I was like, oh my god, please give me that scene because that's what it looked like.

It was gonna happen because he's like, that was bullshit. Like suddenly he's mad. Like he took rejection well, but now he's really mad. I like, I like when he was just like, if I only had one more night, it's like, if I only had one more night, the pillows I could have made one more night, it could have all been so perfect. The fabric, the design, we could have made the perfect pillow. Ten more nights. One more night.

People could have put their heads down and realized they had somewhere to be. One more night. I could have had better clip art. I could have used a different color one more nine. I could have gotten those little bits of phone that you get that sometimes people put in pillows instead of just like the pretend feathers. One more nine.

There could have been a tassel, three tassels, a tassel in every corner, one more nine. There could have been a tassel. Three tassels. A tassel in every corner. One more nine. One more nine. I could have internet searched what gel filling means. One more nine. It could have been a body pillow. Oh, universe lists. What a charming film that was.

It's all black and white except for one little girl standing with a little decorative pillow. Red decorative pillow. Really honoring students, filths, like a see there. So, um, so that was bull crap. It's really how it ended. Okay. So Naomi, Naomi, Chelsea shows up at Naomi's house. I mean, you know, as much as we make friends at Chelsea,

who doesn't like Chelsea? I mean, she's amazing. I love Chelsea. She's so much. She made it to number two on Survivor. She's got like 20 glad bags full of food. Here is the number one reason why we should all love Chelsea because they're having this like ladies day and guess what? She called up some local manicurists, whatever, and they were not from PRIV. No offense. No offense. So Naomi's like, so, Giani and I were really worried, so we went to the rental office for a wellness check to make sure the Catherine was not drugs on my TV. Yeah, live TV, what if it was?

And Chelsea's like, well, it's hard to care for somebody. And when you realize there's nothing you can do. And this is when she's like, I need a drink. I can make it sweet, too. We should have sweet tea, right? Why is that funny to me? Because they're like stopping themselves

from drinking while they're talking about alcoholism. Yeah, it's so nice. I wouldn't do it. I'm that friend. I'm like the real housewives of New York. My ass is like, congratulations on your sobriety. Cheers. Everybody.

Keep it great. Congratulations on being the new designated driver of this friend group. And that's why we love Dorenda Medley, right? He had 90 days of ink disk right now, do you? So Cameron comes over and check, heard their food, I'll be here 10 minutes, get it off your chest, whatever you need to do. Milk's gushing out. Well, that was crazy. I had a baby. Damn, girl. So only soap in their food.

She's there 10 minutes needs the whole table and just walks out. That was my new pillow design. One more night. So what's Chelsea talking about that people are buying breast milk these days and you can get a pretty penny for it. And Cameron says she has an overflow. She should sell her breast milk, which is fun. Yeah.

Cameron, it's like I'm already richer than everybody here, but that was a fun joke. Are we done? Is there any more food? Okay. I'll be seeing you guys. And then they, I do like Chelsea, but I thought it was funny. She's like, Hey Cameron, we made you something. It's your ultrasound, but we put a bunch of pebbles on it. Look. I was like, yeah, damn it. It's an artist. Damien's an odd, odd artist. She does some odd fucking

art. And I like it. I think. I like that she's just like stoning someone's pregnancy picture. She's like, stuck. It's stuck. I put a seashell on the abelical cord. The camera and it gives the most heartfelt thank you. She's like, that is a treasure. It's a treasure. So she talks about babies and stuff. Also, we didn't, because I made Ben clear the scene, but we didn't mention that Cameron hasn't been here. So she's still just thinking the same storylines are going on from last year, which is so funny.

She's like, Craig, law school, right? Did he finish it? I thought, yes. God, Naomi, are we going to get laid again? They broke up. Oh, damn it. we going to get laid again? They broke up. Oh, damn it. She's in a really subtle version of Encino, man.

It's like Whitney's still a creep, right? All right, all right. I'm still on the show. I'm still on the show. Anyway, we know it's nighttime. And Thomas and Ashley are going to dinner at a restaurant called Peepaw. It was called Peepaw. Right? It was called Peepaw or Pwapaw or...

I don't know. But that would be a hilarious restaurant to go to when you're dating an old guy. Hi, I'd like a reservation for one early bird and one youthful horror from a cheesecake factory bar. Okay, thank you, Pw Thank you. I wonder if it was in the old space of ginger. Wow. Oh my god. We're not getting the JP in this episode. Wow. That was GD. So Thomas is like, here, here here you, I made some wine. Here you, here you, here you. Fucking asshole customer.

We should also talk about the giant boner he had when he watched in that restaurant. Did he all see that? The giant wet? The boner. Anyway, we don't talk about these things on his own. The boners are not made out of nuts. Okay. It's like he always has a nut boner and psych.

I think also Ashley Lee had been wearing a colster. Yeah. So Thomas is like, clinked like she's like, Thomas, stop. He's like, I want this bottle from Argentina. Los Lobos. He's like, you know, that used to call me the wolf when I was single. And she's like, hmm, it may not be long before your single

again. I'm like, Ashley, this is a losing game. Whatever you're trying to do here, trying to make him think that he's going to lose you, he will drop you. Ashley was sad before, but look, I appreciate a ho-hoo hustles. Yeah, like I understand. I'm going to shame you for being a ho. It's just like chase a better lead. You know what I mean?

But the saddest thing I've heard about her this entire time is that she's working for free. She's not even getting paid to be on this show. That's what she said herself in an interview. Well, I have a zero respect for it. This like you don't just have it. It's like there's no cost hoe. Like cost hoe market where they just hand out host samples. You don't get to sample the hose.

You pay the hose. Who does it for free? Loser. Well, money can't buy you fast. So, Who does it for free? Oh loser. Well, money can't buy you fast. So Thomas is like, oh, so you're breaking up with me. I've been doing the best to make your mind. Which I will vomit it on the side of my TV at that point. She's like, yeah, you're not doing a very good job at it.

I'm like, he's calling you an apartment. She's like, well, I look at the pros very good job at it. I'm like, you're following your apartment. She's like, well, I look at the pros, and then I look at you, the cons. And I think... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha like that when you're the old boy from ow something hurt here they'll be sending in fucking Danny go running here with like the the heart thing so he's like some shabby me wha it's some tool in a box it's a bracelet a really ugly cheap bracelet really ugly I got this from a lady

who has a very fun boutique name Claire and she is so pissed from a lady who has a very fond boutique name Claire And she is so pissed she doesn't even pretend to be okay So that's pretty much it's just horrible and he's like well What you need is to have something for yourself. I can't be your entire life. You could get a job Read a book. I don't care what you do. You have to be something and she's like, He's like, we were apart 10 days and it was a lot of picking up a stranger like who is this person with a crazy water buffalo hair? Have I been sleeping with this

person? She's just like, I know I love you, but I just feel like lately you've been on edge. She's like, yes, I have been edging, that is true. He's like, as this bottle of Los Lobos would say, by la, by la, by la, by la, all of bomba. She's like, yeah, should you understand what I'm saying, Angel? I'm really starting to assess everything and I'm seeing a lot of red flags. I'm like, oh, so you finally started watching seasons one through five. You know, we hear this song over and over and over, but I was looking at it today like the lyrics to sing it.

I was like, this was written for Ashley, you know, making it easy, is making you think that you love me. It's like the saddest way to end a song ever on TV. And here we are with Ashley in season whatever. That, that Trixi Monaco is one psychic bitch. My question always worked. And we should actually, we have to do give credit for when Ronnie did, oh, I'm sorry, when Patty LaPone came out and blessed us That instrumental version we got that directly from Trixie herself. Mia Sabel actually gave us that instrumental track She's the singer of the Southern term song, so we got to get by that song. It's easy. Go buy her music Anyway, buy it on iTunes. I emailed that bitch today. I was like, look, my name is Ronnie. You don't know me.

But I know you, bitch. She's like, sir, here it is. It's true, true story. Hi, guys. Anyway, I'm so high tomorrow night in email. I'm gonna be like, I need the phone. We want you to come sing for real.

Okay, I'll be right there, Ronnie. Asking you, Sal, receive. So yeah, basically Thomas is the last scene, which is an extremely sad last scene, and on because it's Catherine finally showing up someplace. And you know, she's going to be like, what? I didn't even know I was doing anything because she's wearing like pink with like pink first leaves. She's like, yeah, I'm just a little girl. So Tammy's like, my dog is in a cone.

And Catherine's like, my dog is in a cone. And Catherine's like, sometimes people need those too. And I know we all thought of Craig. And then all at the same time. And Danny's like, I swear to God, I don't even know if you're even alive. And Catherine goes, what? You're crazy. Yeah, we finally got a captain face because he's always really calm and then she goes.

I can pull with a huge face. And she's like, no, seriously, there are people who are close to you who care. Who else would bring a camera crew to make? It's like, oh my god. So captain tries to tell her because she's like, well, this whole like coming to my house and doing a wellness check to make sure I'm not dead. That's a lot. And there was a lot of talk, there was a lot of talk about depression and all that.

Yeah, just Catherine's like, I have depression and I started taking pills and I felt better than I was like, I'm better and so I stopped taking my pills and I got really depressed and stayed in my house for a year. And I was like, we're like, we are Catherine's recapping my life instead of the other way around. I'm like, I'm sorry. Where does this take into turn? We're doing a live show in San Francisco.

We need a happier ending of the episode, please. She's like, I just saw, I watched a whole season of the Good Life in the same day, 8, 19 pizzas. So we thought we would change the ending of the episode a little bit. I started emailing you. OK. We started to imagine what would happen

if Catherine ended the episode getting some advice in life. OK, so I'm going to be Catherine, OK? OK. Okay, in life. Okay, so I'm gonna be Katherine, okay? Okay. Ding, ding, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, arm, I've eaten my teen pizzas today and haven't gotten out of bedarm. Whoa, that's crazy! What's wrong with you? Why you not answering your phone? I just answered it, but then you were at my door. So, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I did not get a text back and you know what you don't support other women, okay?

Is this because I admitted to banging step a few times last week in a bowling alley? Whoa whoa whoa That's crazy reminds me this one time was a little girl Whoa, that's crazy. Reminds me this one time, was a little girl? I went to a farm and there was a shepherd. And I was like, hey shepherd, we're at the sheep. And Geraldine Parton Smith was like, you don't get to go near the sheep.

Because you're a legitimate wolf. And to this day, I've never won a sweater. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but it's true Catherine. Okay. Okay, Let's Now we're lasting I mentioned I mentioned at the beginning of the show that in return for these gorgeous clothes You know metrisha and a lot of this cast Catherine a lot of the people on bravo over the years have been so kind to us and Even though we're dicks, like we're dicks,

let's face it, like why would they be? They don't require, they don't ask us to be nicer, you know, they never, ever do. But Patricia's did come with what we in the modern age like to call a sticky note. Yes. For me, please read pages 14 to 17 regarding my professorship. In quotes, she never worked a day in her life.

I've said that many times. Not based on fact, just based on the fact that she has never moved positions. I don't think since I've seen this. Who gets married 14 times and works? It just doesn't sound like a good business plan. Get a job. Get a job. So three pages is too much.

I'm not going to do that to you, especially reading like Patricia. So sorry, Patricia, but there are the pages that she says will start reading here. So I'm going to start right here. In 1963, I was thrilled to win a fellowship at the Smith-Sonyam. She knows she does that. She's like Time to page I Work the desk at the library of Congress and even learn how to read Egyptian hieroglyphics I love the idea of Patricia go into a pyramid. I'm being like

They weren't happy under the pharaoh. This one likes banana ramma. Like, you do not. In 1965, I graduated magna cum laude from George Washington with a BA in on history. Then I immediately started graduate school. Okay, so then, you know, it's like, work, work, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked,

I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked,

I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, worked, I worked, worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, worked, I worked, worked, I worked, worked, I worked, I worked, I worked, worked, I worked, worked, I worked, worked, I doing a full course load and how it's still easier than domestic challenges that awaited me at home. Mm-hmm, cooking dinner was one of them. I was completely inept in the kitchen, untrained, untalented, and dare I say uninterested.

It was hard for me to understand how to work my black and deck a toaster because the instructions were not written in how glyphics What is a sun gods supposed to do to touch some bread Like many busy young wise I fell for the tempting photographs on the covers of the wonderful new convenience food known as the TV dinner. I bought these miraculous inventions and waited for them to be ready not realizing that the three-course tray had to come out of the box and be heated before it could be called Adina.

Thankfully, there was a Howard Johnson's nearby. For those nights, all my culinary efforts were particularly disastrous. As I recall, we spent a lot of time there. I mean, this shit is amazing. I was like, okay, we'll just read a line from it. And I was like, page 333. I then went to KMART for the first time. I saw all sorts of products, including ones that were as seen on TV.

And I thought to myself, I do need a phlobe. I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm sorry. She's talking about when she was teaching, and she's like, this was a time when young people were protestin' the war and Vietnam, smokein' grass, growin' their hair down to their rear ends, wearin' ugly sandals, and destroyin' brain cells with all sorts of mind-expand in substances. Never here, not at San Francisco.

For them it was the age of Aquarius. For me it was TV dinners. I mean so good, this is priceless. So this is the art of southern charm. Yeah. Yeah. Well you... So thank you Patricia.

Thank you so much to everybody for being here. This has been so great. Thank you for coming to our show. And you guys, let's just close it out with some money. Can't buy you a flat. Alright. Money can't buy you crap, right? Come on! Money can't buy you crap

Money can't find it's best Money can't find it's best My friends I like dancing stuff Oh yeah Money can't find it's best Money can't find it's best I like it's best Oh yeah

I like it this way. Oh, yeah. I like it this way. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,er Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. you