Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Monkey CBD, Monkey Do - Live from Baltimore

Episode Date: July 28, 2019

This week on "Southern Charm," Austen's much-hyped CBD dinner in Colorado arrives, and while he and Shep get stoned out of their minds, Kathryn goes down an erm-ward spiral as she remembers her past with marijuana. Plus, awkward Madison moments and an even more awkward scene with Naomi and ASHLEY. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay? Kristie Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.

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your Rachel's in, and the next day your're out. Yes we can, with Howley, Carolyn and Anne. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto. Holy Grant, the Grant Master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon, out of a cabin Anthony. Incredible, edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina, Kuchikuchikuchis.

Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens? What happens? C're not crazy. Oh, but me, don't worry about you. Kids, what happens when this one happens? So much that happens.

Oh my god, you guys, I just got a bill from OnaVee. I swear to god, he just, I just, I just like, blue, you have something to wear tonight. Fuck her. Hello Baltimore. Oh, whoa. Whoa, that's crazy. And Baltimore, amazing to see you.

Well, can you believe I'm smiling? I've been out of the house more in the past three days in a mind. I'm fucking wide. I know We are like to rain. This is our third city in three days. We've never done this before It has been great and this city is fucking gorgeous and everybody has so great to us. So thank you guys It's so so beautiful But I'm having this like weird thing with being out in public so much, because I'm not used to it, you know? I was like, I'm going to be a fucking monster, you know?

I was like, looking on crexis, like, who can I get drugs? So, you know, whatever. And I've been so happy, but then part of me, like someone will be like, can I open the door for you, sir? I'm like, fuck you, you can fuck you! Look at my face! You know, then I'm like, fuck you, I'm fucking you! Fuck that in my face! You know, then I'm like, fine again. I'm just excited because while we were sitting backstage, I read the most amazing article

that I just have to share with you guys. It has nothing to do with Bravo, but I feel like we can all relate to it. This thing happened in Indianapolis, and I'll just read it. This is a real story, okay? The Marion count, okay, so, and it has an update, and the update is the key part. So, a customer at a local McDonald's restaurant is looking for answers after finding

that someone may have already helped themselves to his sandwich. Yes. Terrifying. Terrifying. The cost had this problem too. Yeah, I can't believe they're writing about me. So the customer, whose name is DJ, is a regular McDonald's.

And he ordered a McChicken sandwich and fries and cookies. But he suspects that someone took a bite of his sandwich before it came to him. And he opened it up when he got to work. And there was a bite that was taken out of it. So he goes, he's actually very much like Ramona. His quote goes, I said, you know what? I'm going to McDonald's to see if they can get that taken care of, okay? I said DJ, the local law enforcement officer. So, that's what the article says.

So he goes, whoa, I went to McDonald's and talked to Supervisor, okay? And she, wafemies from free food that I didn't care about, okay? Just wanted to find out who the person was. So that way we could deal with him in an appropriate way. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So much like a bite on my Mick chicken sandwich, okay? So here's the update.

Update. Police officer forgot he took a bite from his sandwich. I'm into me, guys. This is a true story. Which is all, that really is so Ramona. That is so Ramona. You know what I forgot? You know what I'm at your list for my brain isn't, okay? Take it, take it, spread it, okay? It's no you right, I'm very sore.

I'm very sore. I don't remember. I'm sore. You know I'm a working progress. I said. I kind of feel like it's all of them, because I can imagine Canis Lorenbe like someone took a bite out of my milkshake in sandwich. Oh, it's me.

Oh, sorry. I would like to talk to the McDonald's manager, please. I would complain about this hamburger, but I'm going to be number one right in Chicago. Show that up your ass. How about that? Do you know how hard it is to learn the lines to Chicago while you have someone eating your own sandwiches? The attitude of the housewives. I like the attitude of you guys in this city. Okay, you guys have a fuck around in this city. Because I'm from Texas, we don't fuck around, miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you.

I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you.

I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you.

I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I'm not gonna miss you. I said there's a knock and I'm like, oh, take my time until I answer. I feel powerful making Ben wait, you know. The door flings open and the city is like, hey, I was like, hey. I was like, am I in the wrong room? And she said, no, I'm here to check the minibar. And I was like, I have one.

Like, what do you? She's like, I'm checking it. And I said, okay. So she just like came in there with a clipboard and counted everything. I was like, do not accuse me. It's like, why are you being defensive? I was like, you just walked in my room

and went to my minibar, who are you? And now we figured out what really happened to Luan that night in Florida. Well, I was just checking the minibar and some guy let me in and next you know, I mean I'm just in bed, I don't know. That's me. I'm just swallowing someone else's peanut M&Ms in the wrong room. I just sent the minibar police over.

So the point is, welcome to Walter Crop is the podcast about podcast about all that crappy love to talk about on you Oh Rob So tonight is seven-chall-night We're very excited and you know Southern charm is also kind of nerve-wracking for us for live shows because listen We just took housewives and housewives and both were reunions. We literally had to do nothing like you just so up and it's like You read exactly what they say, you know, it's like truly Tensley was wearing, you know a silverware ring like what you don't have to even take anything up, you know But Southern charm you just never know what you're gonna get and it ended up being a really good episode

So thank God yeah, yeah, I really appreciate because I had Satan in it, Ashley. Yeah. The Claire is the Claire's boutique version of Satan, Miss Ashley. Yeah, what a gift for Baltimore. We got Ashley for you guys. But before we knew we had a really great episode, we decided that it might be time to just drop our new single. Oh yeah, we have a new song. Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano Jin Cano You mean there's even more? But wait. It's like two seconds of this song. I don't. Oh! OK. Oh, yeah.

I was going to tell you this later, but this is OK. I'm in one apartment. No, it's OK. I'm in one apartment recording this stupid show below deck for those of you who don't watch it. It's amazing. So it's so good. Yeah.

We're both in the same neighborhood, but we're like, we're not moving. So I'm in my kitchen and he's in his office. And so our poor neighbors, I was like, what if we were actually in the same neighborhood, but we're not moving, you know? So I'm in my kitchen, and he's in his office. And so our poor neighbors, I was like, what if we were actually in the same place? You hear this? Uh! That's his, is that my, that was yours?

That's my Aisha, and this is his. Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Cana? Uh! Uh! Oh Cano Gym

Cano It's like our poor fucking neighbors all the fish at the aquarium over there are having sex right now they're like They're like something strange happened at the Baltimore Aquarium. Mr. Shannon Bedore. Reporting for David News Live. Huh. So, this is where I'll belly up. All right. Whales are just bumping into the sea wall.

I don't... Oh! We're looking at Aisha's... we're never gonna start this recap. We're not. I see that it's still sunlight outside. I'm like, we've got 10 hours. I know. I was watching Aisha's Instagram the other day.

It's like, what's up, Kaden? Hi! It's me. Shall you finally go on me name, Rob? That's it, Rob. She's just like dancing around a hotel room in a bikini and she's like, yeah, you know, I'm breaking, I'm not the rocket.

Mm. Mm. Is this person? Is this person? Mm. I watched that for like 20 minutes. I was like this is good. This is quality Wow I am like winded from that

Rocky Mountain high I'm like, I'm just sitting here, I'm just cracking up at you right now, like you're so funny. Drugs. Drugs. The bags. I'm just kidding. I'm sober, which feels like I'm on drugs. Is that weird? I'm like, well, they're not just so bright.

Well, it's a good episode to talk about sobriety on Southern Charm, right? Because they all get high. What most them do. So we get judgmental Cameron opening this up. Cameron can never leave because there's no one quite as judgmental to open this shelf every single time. So, previously, Pregnancy is out, sudden charm. Craig didn't clean his room.

That's like she was being mean to the past. She's like, previously. So old, previously. So first it's like, and then it's Whitney and Catherine at lunch, and Whitney's just all awkward. Yeah. Yeah. She's like,

we had sex. She's like, oh, mother up. No, mother up. That's maybe your interpretation of the Pinkmother, but no, I'm not a sexist mother mother. So, and Patricia's like, do not pay the check. Shut up mother, shut up.

You will not pay this check. So then, it's Whitney's not his summer hookup to the one-him-nays better. Naomi got out of her trip to Colorado. Please turn man, and that might've seemed like a good idea. Which is so true, because a bitchy, judgmental girl will always tell you the truth. And that's what Camry did right now.

She was like, have fun taking a day off, stupid. Naomi. And that's what Camry did right now. She was like, have fun taking it, they're off-stupid. Yeah. Yeah. We also got the sea glimpses of Craig's epic meltdown in a baggage claim, which was, if you want to take your own flight, fine. I'm going to take the bus, because I have Delta Elite status. Hello, but he waived his Delta status.

Oh, sorry. Who are you calling privileged? You make pillows for a living. Yeah. You don't even do it yourself. Yeah. You just assemble the fabric and just like let it sit there until there's enough that the fabric itself becomes the pillow.

So he gets all furious and goes out and then the part of the song they played is some of the locals say he's look way back his go-mokal. You know that poor girl that wrote this song Mia, Mia Sabel. I know that we call her by different names on this show but let's just give credit where credit is dear Mia Sabel Internet. Mia Sabel, Ryan of applause for Mia Sabel. She's amazing. So, I was looking up one time how to get this song downloaded.

I was like, where can I get just a karaoke version? I can't believe there's not one available. I know. So, I started like falling into an internet research hole about this song and it turns out this was a track Just made for me a stable to tap dance to Did you know that and they're like this kind of repetitive so check let's just make up some words Yeah, and then we get the opening that lasted forever. So thank you me a stable. I love that Southern Charms roots are in sound cloud I love that Southern Charms roots are in SoundCloud, you know?

So anyway, so after the opening credits, we then get to see what everyone's doing in Colorado and everyone's like waking up and stuff And then there's this shot of Craig brushing his teeth like a maniac. Did anyone else notice that? And he had like a Homer Simpson of like toothpaste all around his mouth. That's like when a little kid does it, you know, they're like, I mean, he was using a butter knife, you know, it explains a lot. Yeah. So then we get a shot of us, I love this show, because these are the notes on this show. Craig was brushing his teeth.

And then we get a shot of Austin opening the curtains. Austin's mouth is even moving while he's opening the curtains. Okay, this is how he opens the curtains. He's like, Ha ha ha ha ha. He's someone in the hotel across the street. It's like, that man needs help. He could be America's greatest asset, right?

Like, no other country would be able to spy on him and know what he's talking about. Like, well, the report is that be able to spy on him and know what he's talking about. Like, well, the report is that America is loading up on tuna fish. Like, are you sure that's what the spy said? So, so now it's the morning and everyone's like, they're meant there's coffee, shepan daan. Daan is a lice, his boyfriend.

They're making coffee in the morning and stuff, and Craig is volunteer to make breakfast, which we know, anytime Craig volunteers for people, is always gonna be like a minor disaster, you know? And they're so mean to him, because he's gonna make just like eggs with cheese, and I know all. So I'm gonna win all. They're like, because they already know he's gonna mess it up,

right? And so he turns to Cam and he's like, do you wanna be my sous chef? I'm like, no, previously. And she's like, no, just walks away. He's like, oh. And then Cameron's like, I didn't sleep well because Austin kept me up till 3am.

And I'm just imagining the noises that Austin was making. Cause... He's like, wait, is he doing everything? They are just disgusting. I'm probably just Austin trying to go to sleep. He has like 10 mashed up pacifiers on the ground next to him. Madison just keeps putting them in. Well, we went to Charleston

because we've always said like, are there no decent men in Charleston? And then we went there. Nope. Nope. No. I don't even really have the experience that shit to understand this show.

I'm like, I can see why she would hold on to Austin. Yeah. It seems like a catch. Yeah. Also, Eliza doesn't get any love on the show, nor should she, her bridges shitty, I've seen it. But I do, she is growing on me. Eliza's here.

God damn it, Eliza, go home! But think, you know, that's a good little litmus test that Eliza got for people screaming for her. It's a good, I'm going to ride her. I'm going to ride her a tweet. I love that out of that. I was actually about to compliment. Okay. I don't have to say she doesn't get a lot of love on the show and sorry I skipped that part. But I do like her now because she woke up like this. And like took out her retainer whatever. I was like, okay, I like you now.

You see I'm bad easy. Like dental hygiene. That's what Ashley does. I like watching. She takes out her curlers in the morning and the water buffalo here just unfurls on the... It's like, boom, boom.

That's a bobby pin. The world's strongest bobby pin. The world's strongest bobby pin. And it sounds like this. Chupsy! Chupsy! Take a good look at this! It's gonna be around a while.

Got a look at this. Got about that part. Take a good look at this. God about that part. Take a good look at this. So, um, then Chelsea comes down and a fur hat the size of a small child. It's like this big. It's like a nutcracker hat.

I said, hey, you! It's fresh from Bucky and Palace. Austin's like, you look like you're in a rush-ah. And Chelsea's like, you look like you're in a rush, huh? And Chelsea's like, what, Putin's Miss first or something. And then Austin goes, yeah, that's right. That's right. I like the way Catherine entered the kitchen.

She walked in, I mean, we love Catherine, right? But she walked in like she'd never seen these people before. Never seen a kitchen before. I didn't even understand the cons of the breakfast. She was like, but also she's the craziest one. I mean you've got Chelsea in this fucking for hat thing. And then Katherine comes in and one of those like face

under eye face masks things, but it's like gold. It was a gold. It was like her whole face. She looks like sad, iron man's little sis. Like she looks like a Hannibal Lecter. And she's just looking at everybody like. Gars, it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig!

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So meanwhile over and on Craig's cooking show, guess what? He forgot to put cheese in his scrambled eggs. So he's doing that thing that I think we've actually unfortunately all done when she's taking the shredded cheese and just put it on top of already cooked scrambled eggs, and no one could hate this more than Shep. He's like, Craig, you forgot to melt the cheese, Craig. Oh, shh.

This is how you're supposed to do it. He's like, that's how you put cheese on there. And Craig's like, everyone does it their own way. Everyone has their own version of physics. It just depends. And then chefs like, but admit that you forgot it. And man, I just love that chef is willing to die on any hill as long as it pertains to Craig.

Craig, you start cutting your nails from the left instead of the right, like usual. Craig! Oh, gosh! He's so jealous of Craig. You know, and he always has been, that's the thing on the show, but I mean, there's no competing with Craig, okay? He's like washboard abs and teeth, and hair. Like, there's no competing with Craig.

You know, don't even try. Putting on cheese incorrectly is not going to give any one's boner There's no competing with Craig. Don't even try. Oh! Oh! Oh! Putting on cheese incorrectly is not going to give anyone's boner a sad face. True. But do you really want a lawyer representing you who doesn't know how to put cheese in an omelet? I don't know. No, but my pillow sure is shit, Mike.

I'm a pillow attorney. Pillow attorney. Ha ha ha ha. Go home. It's OK. Yeah, so now everyone's trying to get a camera and to go skiing. And when he's like, oh, mother, I broke my ankle and I tried to go skiing. They said I was about to hit a mogul. I thought they said mother, and so no, not mother.

Broken ankle. Hey Cameron. Cameron's that sister on everybody's family trip. No offense to my, she ain't no listen to this shit. But she's everyone's sister on the trip. Where they're like, hey sister, do you want to go, do you want to go skiing? No. Well, skank's stressing.

I thought this was for my birthday. Thank you. Everyone's sister and me. That was me. The first time I ever tried to go, you know that was me too. My sister's like, skiing, okay.

Do you guys want to hear about what happened when the first time I ever tried to go skiing? Yeah. Went to, okay, it had a bad omen because I was a family vacation and we went to a ski mountain in Vermont called Suicide 6. Yeah, that's not good. Okay, already bad news.

So I was like, it was the bunny slope and, you know, I was at the top of it and they're like, you know, ski down it. I was like, cool. So, you know, you have these two little poles and I, ski down it, and no one really told me what the poles were for, and I was like in third grade, I didn't understand physics much like Craig, and I was like, oh, well, you must, when it's time to stop, you're supposed to put the poles in the snow to stop yourself. So I was like, oh, that didn't work. I started doing it over and over, and I zoomed past the bunny hill down some other unsanctioned hill, a slope

towards a river, and then I bailed out, and then I couldn't get back up at the slope, and they gave up on me, and I sat there for half an hour at the bottom of the unsanctioned slope. I'm like, I never thought it was a game, mother. You're in the parking lot of a dick sporting goods, I'm like, how did I even get here? It's ever come to the game mother. You're unlike the parking lot of a dick sporting goods. I kind of didn't even get here. It's just like flying through the sky.

Hello, Suicide Six. There's a little gay boy in our parking lot. I can't tell if he's crying or seeing the little shop of horrors right now. Or bow, you know, I can just be like, suddenly, I see not only ski more. That wasn't window into my life, everyone. God, that was a sad, beautiful, wonderful window to be looking.

I looked into that window and Austin was standing there like this. I don't even know what I'm talking about. So, Cameron's like, no, it's getting gross. And Austin's like, Kim, are you gonna come up with the mat and go with the other people and shut, listen, I'm not on your level and she was saying it like I'm not as good of a skier than you, but you know, it's coming from cam. So it's like, we know. Yeah. So they all get changed.

I'm a mother now. That's what I'm sorry. That's what I was getting to. Because you know, that's our favorite thing when people do that. Well, I know you don't agree with me, but you're not a mother. It's like, uh, ma'am, I'm just saying you got my pizza wrong. Are you a mother? Are you?

That's camera. I can't go skiing because I'm a mother now, so I think of things differently. Like, skiing. I'm like, you don't know how to ski. How do you think you'd be differently? Come on. So they all get dressed. And by the way, I mean, Catherine.

She comes out so amazing. They're all dressed like Rumpelstiltskin. And she just comes out like this red. It was amazing. This is why we love Catherine, right? You never know when she's just going to come out of nowhere and be like, boom. I think she looked like that little kid

from a Christmas story. You know when he gets on, he's like, he's like, um, you're gonna arm your eye out. Kid. Um, I out. I all I want is an arm arm gun. So, uh,

Craig's like, Catherine looks like a Tallah Talbi. The gay one. The gay one. The gay one. So I know. Yeah, Craig. His teacher for law school.

The Tallah Talbi is Don. Oh, I just, I don't like Don so whenever I get to Don, I'm like, Ah, Don! Because he's like a fake Southern Earth like Don! Where's he from again? Where'd they say Don? New Jersey? New Jersey. New Jersey.

New Jersey. But he's trying to like fit in with her family because they're like loaded. So he's always like, Hey, yo! What's going on with your mind? I'm totally comfortable with the fact that you have a family dog named Strom. I'm Don.

I'm totally normal. So they all start skiing, except for Wall Shepp Kanski, because he broke his, he tore his meniscus or something like that on a mechanical bull. It happens if you're drunk and chef. MCL. MCL. I like that. There's like, It's like a little game show is happening over here. It's more guy in the front. It's like she's Christ. Like there's no escape. There's a light ride on me.

You have our things in love, sir. MCL. So anyway, so he and Whitney are just sitting around and they're just sitting there slurping oxygen. If the visual we never needed, right? Whitney? What are you doing? Mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, at least 50 children in my city. I am your father probably. I love everybody viewing. Chef Sessie has sex with five different people a week. I saw the reunion. I was like, what is this pride? Who does that every day of the week, okay?

I do that one week a year like a classy person. So then over on the bunny hill, Catherine is they have they now have these things which I would have really appreciated when I was a little kid on a slope by Dick Sporting Good. They now have these like ramps, these moveable walkways they go up the hill. So Catherine's trying to get on and it's like, erm. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um,, you know, she's like, what is this? She always has that look of bewilderment on her face.

I just like to picture her in a mall like, people are flying. It's an escalator Catherine, get on it. So we cut back to Shepp and Shepp's like, Cawrf, you know what, it's crazy. Why am I always the first one ready? Like I was ready 25 minutes before everyone else. I'm like, yeah, what a coincidence. That's about the time it takes to take a shower. Get busy.

Camry, I'm like, well, now I'm just dangerous, okay? What am I writing here? I'm sorry. I'm like, what the fuck show am I even talking about? It's a PSA. Hi, I'm Camry U-Banks. To tell you that's no as dangerous and I am a mother. Da-da-da-da.

That's why I said a Christmas story, because Chelsea actually waddles in and says, I feel like that kid from the Christmas story. Sorry, I got lost to my own thoughts. Hmm, consider that. So she's like, I feel like I'm in a Christmas story in Cameron's like, a Christmas story is dangerous. Mary wrote a donkey to the living room. Well, she was pregnant.

I would never do that. Mary's mediat. Like the edge of Cameron judging Mary for being a bad mother. There was a, oh, I was gonna say there wasn't escalator scene and Christmas story, but it was a slide, which is very different, right? You see this section of our niche is where we say, edit.

Since you know we always do in our show. That's why they're only 30 minutes and totally palatable. So back on the slopes, we have now like a montage of everyone skiing or trying to, which really just amounts to Austin, just saying, want to go shred? This is insane. Let's go shred. Let's go shred. Want to go shred?

Let's go shred, bro. Bro, bro. Bro, did you shred? Yeah, you shred. Let's go shred. Wanna go shred? Let's go shred bro. Bro, bro, did you shred? Bro, shred. Yeah, you shred. Bro, shred. This is insane. It's insane. We're just shred.

They're like those really cool dads at Dave and Buster. Yeah. Just nail the scheme of how many tickets you got, bro. They're dead, bro. Steve, bro. Oh, how many tickets you got, brah? They can't, brah, steam all the time. Or they go to that little like shooting baskets game. You know, they're like, that's your ball.

That's your ball, you know. Many basketball. Yeah. I don't do that anymore because I'm a mother. I got some so sorry. I'm really trying to watch this butt crack, but I just feel it just keeps coming out It keeps away. We're all family. We're all family. We all are a similar butt crack for those for those of you. Oh, just to make this sadder. It's my side butt crack that I'm talking

You never have you never have to feel shame because you have to remember on the last episode of Southern Charming ended with Austin derobbing and flexing like this. So there's always that image. I've been there. Yeah. So Austin and Madison start hugging on the slopes, you know, because he's trying to get back in with her. And Craig is like, aww, come on. Are you serious?

She's such an archaic device. Aw. It's like hugging a pillow. That's unrepresented pillow attorney. I literally just scrolled through five pages of notes. Why? That was like, then they go skiing. Then they go skiing. Then they go skiing.

Bravo loves this ski montage. I will say that. They do. I mean, we've seen it on so many shows. Remember, Real House has a barren county. Vicki on the slopes. I did not ask you to put your name county. Vicki on the slopes. I did not ask for a bottle of milk! Five avalanches happened.

So now we're at Danny and Katherine taking a gondola ride. Yes. And Katherine gets in the gondola and she's like, she's high state of urm. This is so cute. This isn't how I expected Venice to look. It's not that kind of gondola. I mean, it starts going up and she goes, oh, I'm backwards.

I can't even see where I'm going. Like, you're not driving. It's okay. So they started talking about it, because they're going to be doing a CBD dinner later tonight. And Catherine's like, erm, it's definitely a white elephant in the room that I'm there with. I don't know why he's so sad, it sounds amazing, who doesn't love a white elephant. I just love that even on this show, like even the metaphors are white, right? Like, it's like they can't.

They really have a diversity problem. So, oh, I love it. I could ever surprise Ronny. I'm like, good night everyone, good night. Oh. That's some cusshit, bruh. Shredding, you shredded it, bruh. Shredding.

Okay, let's get serious. It's a very serious discussion. It's a gondola. It's gondola, gondola price. That's why you guys come to us. Very serious, serious talks. So, Calthirms, let's why you guys come to us. Very serious, serious talks. So, Catherine's upset because he keeps calling it a CBD dinner.

But that's the stuff you use for like back pain and shit, right? Or like to go to sleep. That's like the medical stuff. This is some THC mother fucking dinner right here, okay. Oh. How's like CBD dinner? What a waste of money. Take a volume, you know. Yeah. That's, okay. Oh. I was like, CBT dinner, what a waste of money, take a valium, you know. Yeah, that's insured. Yeah. But no, it's Mary Wona.

There he is, it's a scary drug. So when she, when Thomas that mother fucking moose, knuckle white gene mother fucker. Yeah, fuck him, fuck him. Had the kids taken away, he's like, well, she's a drug addict. And they're like, could you be more specific? Well, he can't say cocaine because like,

I mean, he did really, really well selling cocaine. Yeah. I can't get sued for that, right? If you've been a prison, allegedly, allegedly, that's what happens. Even though he was convicted for it, you know. Yeah. So he had to come up with something else,

you know, like marijuana. So she had to go in for marijuana or whatever. And she's like, that's kind of insensitive to the white elephant in the room. People are gonna do marijuana or whatever. And poor Danny is like, haha, oh. Danny, I'm surprised Danny was not on the edge

of that gondola, I'm like, oh my God, we're gonna die, we're gonna die. That's even more like a Danny sort of thing to do. So Catherine tells us, like that's the lowest point of my life, you know, like my whole life has turned upside down, my kids are taken away and now we're having like a drug dinner, you know? And Danny is like, so have you talked to Whitney today? Like Danny's just there to shovel the shit down, you know.

So like, sorry about that. Oh, lose your kid's story line. Are we gonna talk about you fucking Whitney next? Yeah. This is a long ride. I know you just shared the worst part of your life. Let's talk about sex with Whitney. Yeah. It's a toss up. So basically, it's not. So basically, Catherine starts showing Danny the text that she got from Whitney last summer in LA. What? What? I'm like, I think I need that oxygen right now. Mother, my shirt is asleep.

Talk about my penis. It's waiting for you. It's waiting for your mother. Mother. Listen, all people have sex. I'll sort the people have sex. What? I support it.

Why don't we go on to something more appetizing? Or not? Actually, literally anything would be. Oh, no, I want to talk about the text. That's why I said, whoa, and I started scrolling. Because I got a screenshot of it, but God knows where it is now. But it was a really funny text, and you know it's true,

because it starts off with Whitney being like, where the fuck are you even? Because you know, Catherine's always like 10 hours late everywhere. And Catherine's answer to him is, I'm coming, Diva. And I was like, OK, this is a real text, you know? I love that. That's a great pre-sex banter.

And he's like coming to you. I mean, I'm losing steam over here in my... It's like blanked out. And you know, he wrote Weiner. You know, I feel like that's just him. Maybe I can lose and steam on my Weiner babe. Just wondering what the emoji is for... It's like that random swirl. No, it's that cat. It's that that random swirl. No, it's that cat.

It's that cat face that's like laughing really hard and things are squirting out of his eyes. Or maybe it's like creepy as a emoji. I'm like, what happened to a normal LOL? Yeah, we just use that. Maybe it's that, you know there's like two masks. There's one mask. And then there's one mask.

It's like the same mask that's facing this very... I'm like, why do we need a three-quarter profile of that mask when we don't even have a fucking pizza, OJ? I mean, come on! So, see, this is a catroom's cracking up at this text. And, wait, come on. You guys, I have like a huge flank page where this picture looks. I see it as a... I tried, Ben. I guys, I have like a huge flank page for this picture. Look.

I see you as a... I tried, Ben. I know, you did it. I think your iPad rejected the sex pattern photos. My iPad was like, no. That is disgusting. I was not designed for this, okay? Apple is not censoring unless we're talking about Whitney's penis.

The Apple is like, I'm out. I'm out. It's like Vicki. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. It's like, Vicki, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Good job, penis.

Get a job. So, Danny's like, why would he lie about that? And she's like, here's a text message, and Danny's cracking up. And she's like, ew, he's the aggressor. Oh, damn, my shit is asleep. Is he talking about his penis? He was. She's like, ew, oh, oh, oh, I feel like I'm watching sex. So then we go back to Charleston and Naomi is just driving around like,

whoo, avoided that book. Wow, what a great day. Wow, didn't have to go to Colorado. What could possibly go wrong? Just driving down. I just can't wait to plug my business a little. Hey, there's a man. I have no stress from this cast trip. It's gonna be amazing. Yeah. Hey, there's another guy in Brooks Brothers.

Cool. Cool. Holy crap. Look at that school of white elephants. Yeah. Just driving along. What a wonderful day. Nothing can go wrong.

I'm in a place called Mount Pleasant. Did you do that, did you do that, did you do that, did you do that? And then the phone rings. Obviously that's Naomi's ringtone. I got it. Everybody that's what that was doing. And Naomi looks down and says, Ashley Jacobs. She just goes like this, oh my god no, oh my god no, no, no, no.

She's like, because it's our car fun. She's like, hello. Which is actually the nicest she's ever answered the phone Is this you know Take a good listen But I always feel like Ashley sounds like whenever she calls, she's like lying in bed under like three pillows. She's always like, hey, this is Ashley calling. She's like, oh, an appointment. I no longer want to receive CDs from BMI. Thank you.

Because she is the one who still subscribed to that. Yeah, she still hasn't paid that record company. They're like, ma'am, you have not paid for your Wilson Phillips record. We sent you a couple decades ago. So that would be great. Catch up. True story.

But I think Ashley talks like that because she is a nurse like in real life. Like, you know, you don't have to be a good person to help people. It's not weird. It's a nice conundrum though. I'm like, hmm. But yeah, she is really a nurse and I think sometimes she's just like calling. Like, I'm imagining her just standing over the bed If somebody dying and like oxygen she's like

We talk about this reality show and trying to fuck my way on to for a couple of years now Hey, Jack I'm just imagining Ashley and there's like a patient who's like flat lining and they're like just trying to revive them and she comes in and she's like, I've got a good idea, I've got a good idea, this will save him. Take a good look! Because it's going to be around a while. You're going to be alive! She's like, you're literally just an egg donor and the lady's like, no, I know that's why I'm here.

I'm an egg donor. Can you? She's insulting someone. Take a good look. So she's like, oh, when I saw you the other day, me and me. I thought that, you know, I just really, I just really like, I really like the opportunity, like, you know, like, to talk to, like to see you, like, I was just wondering, like, if you just be up for that,

grabbing a drink of the- What is happening to Ashley? I know. It's like he are where they're always walking in the hospital, you know? Check. And when you say ER, of course you mentioned one of the seminal actresses, Kyle Richards. Key actress on ER. So, we're not recapping Beverly Hills today, so I wish Kyle Richards the best.

Oh, yeah, go ahead and do me. It feels amazing. Ben sent me an Instagram of Kyle Richards today that I was like, are you just trying to wake me up? You know, it's like, get food running. Get filled with rage for us so later. And it's Kyle. She's like, throw back. Remember that time I was watching my good food running. Get filled with rage for a show later. And it's kind of, she's like, throw back. Remember that time I was watching my car with a hose during the drought, and you guys yelled at me? Scorning eye emoji. But the real key of it was that it was to show off her

like $200,000 car. Like, I don't remember this. Bye. Goodbye, Kyle! Goodbye, Kyle! Goodbye, Kyle! Goodbye, Kyle! Goodbye, Kyle! I love it.

How are you feeling today? I feel like we're feeling like, or are you feeling like, goodbye, Kyle! So Ash is like, you want to get a drink today? Are you feeling like So Ash is like you want to get a drink today So me just like takes a really long pause she's like I Just like I've never gotten a colonoscopy before but that sounds better great. That's actually where I'm working today, so I'll see you there. LAUGHTER They always like never gotten a colonoscopy.

I mean, a bikini wax, a severed arm. Getting your foot run over by a car. Dating Craig. Like, I would do any of those things again. I think I'd like to discuss with Craig how to melt cheese in an omelet more than I'd like to get a drink with you right now. And she's like, um, well, I'm in Mount Pleasant right now,

going to work. And I was just like, ah, perfect. Perfect. I'm holding a man's heart in my hand right now. So that sounds great. I will be at lunch in five. Yeah. See you there.

Bye, Mr. Jenkins. Good luck. Just sew it up yourself. It's easy. Just hold it, just hold it. So then we go back to the slopes and everyone's having lunch. Austin's eating more lunch than everyone else because the lips are going over time. So someone just went aww. That are you a mother? How could you make fun of Fuzzy Bear? So someone just went, aww. Aw.

That are you a mother. Like how could you make fun of Fuzzy Bear? Oh, poor guy. I know. You didn't make him so much more lovable when you started calling him Fuzzy Bear. And then when you started wearing actual muppet material on the slopes, I was like, well,

lean into it. Lean into your personal Fuzzy, or Fuzzy, rather. We're both Fuzzy. It's Fuzzy with like a leather jacket. to it lean into your personal fauncy or fauzi rather. We're both, we're fauncy. It's not. Fauzi with like a leather jacket. Uh. I didn't even do fauzi.

So chefs, you know, they're talking about eating and stuff and chef and Austin are both like, bro, bro, Seth, bro, weed marijuana. Bro, that is not. Gosh, gosh, bro. Oh, I'm a shredded shred, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, I feel like Whitney is us in this where he's just saying things that everyone is on the show with him. I eat 20 years younger. Don't know what he's talking about.

Yeah. Because he's like, oh, oh, oh, Whitney's always had a little bit of lies. Yeah, you know what? It does sort of dress like her. And then appropriately, Reel knob doesn't just form from nothing. Okay, that comes from some like desire. And then appropriately enough, the entire bar starts going, ring the bells, ring the bell.

They were actually asking for Ring the Bells by lies. I'm convinced of that. So Austin gets up and he's like, he's like, well, I'll ring the bell. I'll ring the bell. I'll ring the bell. They're like, no, the alarm bells, get these people out of here, ring the alarm,

ring the alarm. He's like, I'll do it, I'll do it. So he starts tinging the bell. And I'm like, ha ha, that means you have to buy everybody a shot. He's like, okay, and Madison's like, you don't have any money. I was like, you know what, I'm officially on Gene Madison for the rest of the season.

I love that whisper, man. Yeah, we don't have that little voice that she's got. Those little eyes. You called me a white trash hairdresser, Nick. Get over here and let me do those bangs. Ha ha ha ha ha. My little one wearing a bikini. I was like, you are my kind of girl.

I'm still at Cheech and Chong, where are you? I was at the bell. Gorgeous, too freaking cold, let's go inside. Chef, what the fuck is that? Austin rings the bell. Okay, I'm with you. Okay, so you have to ring... It's about a remote narration. That's how I read every day. Book something. Yeah, me too, sadly. This bus coming five minutes, okay, you better be on time because the bus isn't going to wait you. Like nothing is at no piece of literature

has ever said that by the way. You're like, what were you reading? Okay, so yeah, he's ringing the bell and Austin's like, shit, how am I gonna pay for this? And chef is even jealous of him for ringing the bell. Yeah, he's like, gosh, look in here. He thinks he's man of the hour now. It's like king of the bar. Mmm, gosh. And Austin just is like, put it on the guy with the front dentures.

His tap. His tap. Yeah. So then my next note is Naomi drives to mysterious horn music. Yeah. The new music this year, some of it's a real, some of these songs are real bangers, OK?

Yeah. But some of them are this one. Yeah, all the real bangers. Hey, mom, but some of them are different. They're real bangers. Hey mom, that's a banger. Yeah. Anything from West Side Story. What a banger, mom. What a banger, mom.

That's right, Colley. It's a banger. It's doing great, Colley. Yeah, Colley. But this music is like that, and I'm about to do a Whitney teaching song thing. But that's so in the 80s with Linda Carter and the blonde chick from WKR, Monty Anderson, who were they like teamed up and

they were detectives. Was that an easy street? No. Some of them know it. Some of them at home was like, fuck you around. Some of them took you again. But it was this mystery show where they were like wacky. They didn't really get along, but they both needed the work.

So they became private detectives together. It's like, oh, okay. So they would do like really, like really creative, creative things to solve mysteries. Like, one time they were trying to follow a guy into a hotel room, but the door was closing. So one of them pulled down a credit card and put it in the door before the crowd. So that's the music from this thing. It's like, won't you come up? was closing, so one of them pulled out a credit card and put it in the door before it crows.

So that's the music from this thing. It's like, won't you come up, you bums? Bum, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, bums, Fumbling Lonnie Anderson detective music. Can't you imagine Lonnie Anderson during that?

Just like, oh, 100%. Do you know? You know, there used to be a sitcom called She's the Sheriff starring Suzanne Summers. I mean, TV. It never was as good as it was me. I mean TV, am I right? She's the sheriff.

Check a bite out of this hamburger. She's not a clock from a sea of bad summer. She's the sheriff. Someone took a bite out of my hamburger. I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Chrissy, that was you. Aww. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, And hers and his, she's the sheriff too. Oh, wait, my barber.

It's one of those nights. This will totally make sense tomorrow. So Naomi drives to mysterious horn music. But there's no wacky mystery. She's going to lunch. She's going to go have coffee. She goes to a place called Thax. And so she's there, and Ashley shows up. And her hair was shockingly tamed. It wasn't really like water buffalo.

It was sort of like the Snapchat logo, you know? Sort of like a little ghosty like you know. This is why reality people should never be allowed to go on social media because remember at the reunion last year when they were doing Ashley's hair she's like a comeleel where nobody will speak to her except the hairdresser. Oh my god I'm totally nervous to be here to help say like this is like ridiculous and you have to do something with my bangs because people are making fun of me flicking my bangs like this.

Like, apparently I have a problem with it. And so now she wears like a fucking fedora from Hobbie or whatever she was doing this time. So it's not fair. Why are you robbing us of this, Anne? Yeah. Give us those bangs. The fedoras are always a bad sign on Bravo. Always a bad sign.

So Naomi goes and sits at the bar and basically is all of us. When she's like, extra large glass of rosé, please. Ha-ha-ha. Extra, like novelty size. Like the thing you see at TJ Max, that size, please. You know how they say, never let him see you sweat. Naomi's like, never let them think you're awake. Because this is how she always walks around. She's like,

like you don't know she's staring at a wall or like in a presidential debate. I'm like what are you thinking right now? You know she's just like, I would not tell you what I'm thinking. So as she's like, she sits down, she's like, well I, she has that extra, when she's being sincere, she's trying to sound. Since she gets, her voice gets all worse. She's like, well, I just want to really appreciate you meaning with me, because you're a straight shooter. And I wonder if that's why we've built butt heads,

because we're both so convicted. You know, I'm like, you called her a bitch at a restaurant But Ashley has to just buzzes around her she comes in like this Oh, I was she's having or a bottle it's one o'clock Good to see you guys up. We're so much alike, aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we? We just have so many convictions.

Like, your conviction is doing whatever you do. And my conviction is that I hate Catherine, you know? I'm gonna cut to Naomi's face and she's like, She's like, yeah, we're just so much alike. I'm like, you know what, so funny Naomi? So funny. But looking back, I see how maybe I could have made people feel uncomfortable.

Yeah. Yeah. I was like, you know, it's so funny. I didn't think of it. But now that I look back, you know, it's funny. When I called Carthorne and Egg Donor to run about her own children, that probably made her feel a little uncomfortable, huh?

Yeah. It's not funny. I mean, people take things out of the game. You know, but he can't do. I'm just, so, you know, I thought it would be good. You know, I'm really glad you're giving me a second chance. Besties, besties.

Yeah. So glad we're together again. Okay, I know this is wishful thinking, but, you know, I don't wanna hold a grudge. I'm like, Iies, besties. So glad we're together again. Okay, I know this is wishful thinking, but I don't wanna hold a grudge. I'm like, how's this about you? Yeah, you hold the grudge? You're the aggressor. Yeah, so Naomi's like,

a real me face. Naomi face. Naomi face. Mm. Mm. It's the face when she tries to eat like a cupcake and the tool shoots her down. So Naomi is like, well, I mean, the problem is that your behavior is extremely erratic.

It's like never constant and like, I don't know if you're going to be nice or if you're just going to call me a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch bitch bitch like that like what you just did right there Looking back. I probably shouldn't just called you a bitch right now. You know, it's so weird when I was just thinking about I can see how maybe that was offensive to you. Yeah, I can see that didn't work. It didn't work in the flow of the conversation But while Naomi's like telling her off calmly, you know Ashley's doing that thing where she's just nodding like that makes everything out Yes calmly, you know. Ashley is doing that thing where she's just nodding, like that makes everything up. She's like mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yes. Okay. You know, I mean, I did say bitch in a really nice way. You know, it's like, hey bitch, you're such a fucking bitch, cut Fucking bitch cut fitness gonna fucking burn down your house bitch It's in that fine. That was so fun and she's like listen I only called you bitch one time and they only said do you have to call me bitch five times?

When do I get to be mad like what number do I get to be mad? She goes that is crazy. And she goes, oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I had laps and judgment. I was just trying to be nice. That's why I came to sit by you when I saw you. Remember, remember when I was invited to that event that you were invited to to, because we're still

friends with all the same people. And I saw you, remember, and I came to sit next to you, remember, I came to sit next to you, member. I can't just sit next to you, could you just wait and shoot her? I feel tired. So then she's like, I want some advice about Catherine. I really want to apologize. Like, if I bump into her, do I approach her?

No. No, I'm just like, I wouldn't? No. You're just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, no, no. But what if I wrote a reno? No, Marie Antoinette, Macron, no. No, Mr. Ardent, no. No, no. She's like, but what if I see her in public? I don't want to see her in public.

And then, how am I going to go? No, no. Jarradepardue. No. Jarradepardue. No. Jarradepardue. I don't want to see her in public and they only go no Zero deaf are you no Zero deaf are you not do that? So she's like you know what looking back fucking Ashley you know I never even have the chance to apologize that crazy looking back. I never even had that chance It's like you did it It was called three were unions.

Yeah. Okay. And you did apologize in that way that's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry that you're a drug addict, heck donor. I'm so sorry. So she starts like trying to say, well, you know some people put some things in my head

about her, et cetera. And it's like saying, I wish I could go back in time. And she goes, I mean the funny thing is I'm actually on Catherine's side. Now, look. What she's saying is I was only saying that stuff on camera because Patricia told me to and here I go back to the Vanderpump thing. Some old lady can tell you whatever the hell she wants to do that doesn't mean you

do it. Yeah. You know what you're gonna walk into the street. Who does that? She goes I just don't want any animals, that's all. So much to say Teddy. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, hi, I'm Teddy. I did not lie at all. I do not lie. I have never lied. I will not tell a lie. I've never, ever in my life told a harm to Teddy it's a lie.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never. You want to come at me about being too perfect? Okay. I guess I just projected my feelings about you onto me through a lie which was a projection of the truth which I tell and I'm being accountable about the lie and the truth. So.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm Teddy. Don't get me started. Why do you do that? OK? We're like five minutes into this show.

Yeah. So now, with this Ashley package behind us. We now go back. We now go back. We now go back. It's a Teddy attack. Like when you feel it coming on, just be like, let it pass, let it pass, let it pass.

I'm Teddy, I'm Teddy, I'm Teddy, I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. I'm Teddy. Okay. So now we go back to Colorado and everyone's getting ready for the big CBD dinner CBD dinner THC dinner Pot dinner. Can we just call it a pot dinner? Drunk dinner

Drunk dinner time The evils of marijuana The evils of marijuana. It's like your grandparents' story. He's like, I once knew a man who hates a marijuana and ate off a baby arm. He's like, that's not true, Papa. You just, I buy that you saw somebody eat off a baby arm. But not because he was high.

So everyone's getting ready for dinner. The guys are in robes for some reason. I noticed that you and I both wrote down Austin and Shep are in robes. Like we were just equally traumatized by it. Like we have to tell everyone, they were in robes. This is like a head slapped, you know. And Shep's like, oh, come on. This is not a safe book marijuana and gummy bears.

Who are you? Who are you? You want to call me? Don't tell me, buddy. It's marijuana. Oh, no. Austin's like, no, I don't want one. I do want one.

Bro, bro, bring it in. Bring it in, bro, bro. That was off. Bro, bro, bro. Bro, bro, bro. It was good. I shredded that joke. Shredded down the slope of that joke.

So Austin's like, let's get down to breath taxes here. I'm like, who talks like this? I know that you're on a show called Southern Charm, but nobody says that. Shut up Austin. Is he having a conference call or something? Okay, everyone, let's have some breath tax about the agenda. We, brass tax is here. Okay, all right, we're going to clean some windows, okay. We've got 19 offices, and we've gone through 37,000 stamps this year. Now let's get down to brass taxes.

Hold still on the stamps. Like, that's a Captain Lee right there. Captain Lee. Captain Lee. Captain Lee is everyone's office manager. So then Austin is talking to the chef. And the chef is of course what you think the chef is. He's like, bro, making everything.

You're going to get felt fucked up with his dinner. It's going to be fucking amazing. You're going to be fucked up, bro. Yeah. It's marijuana and it's a, oh, there you go. Oh my God, he was like a vice-tv reject or something like that. And he was like, his name was Chef Royalty.

Spelt R-O-I-L-T-Y. I was like, oh, cool. We'll know your real chef if you have a tattoo of fork and a knife, okay? And I'm sorry, you don't have a bacon tattoo, so it's really hard for me to take you seriously right now. Did you mean to forget your tattoos? Chef royalty. Well, you know. Well, you know, it's a good made of bacon, you know, well, you know, you know, you know, you know, at least he's a chef and not a

mixologist. See if he can as well. We're like on a dinner cruise of crap in right now. This is gonna be a three hour recap. We're just doing every show on Bravo tonight. We'll just keep saying the titles of things. Hey ladies of London am I right? Yeah.

I remember the days of having CBD with my mother. We would have CBD mushrooms and CBD blueberries, CBD, blueprints, CBD, blueprints, clearance of mushrooms, so many kinds of mushrooms you don't know, the kind of mushroom

that's shroomed in a mushroom of fabulous, so searching lollipop lip cross. How lucky are you to have me to tell you about CBD. So Austin, I guess, has probably caught wind of this because now he's talking to the who's mad, you know, so he's like, all right, let's just make sure that I've

said this on camera. We are going gonna need some uninfused options. And they're said, like, what are you talking about? I'm getting you back. Ta-da! There's gonna be so much drugs in this food. You're gonna be falling fucking dead. This is an amazing rush, right?

How's that, Chef Royalty? He's like, Chef Royalty? But there are other options, right? Other options, good food, dog! Do you? Other options to get fucked up! Do you want to get kind of fucked up or super fucked up, bro? So, mad, so at that point Craig is opening up some wine, which is a miracle unto itself. It really is.

Even like a big and brute top, I would have been like, well done, you caught me. You did, Chris. Okay. Hey, Anna Hayward, can you tell me where the, where the bottle opener is? Oh, wait, I'm calling you on it. Sorry.

He's stabbing the wall with it. So, yeah, Craig and Madison are the only ones at the other house. And Madison's like, so, where are the only ones? Madison. Madison's just getting warmed up and she's amazing. Her little angry squint checks. So, here we are. Just me and you, Craig. And he's like, whoa, this is nuts.

So, you know what's crazy? Like you in Austin seem to be getting along real good. And she's like, yeah. And he goes, so what's going on with you guys? What do you mean? He's like, well, you guys seem like all lovey-dovey. And she's like, all right, you know what, Craig? Okay, I'm just gonna be honest with you here. You and Chef keep talking about our relationship, it's like hypocrites giving advice on a relationship they know nothing about. Craig's like,

uh, I object. Oh. Sustained by me. Whoa. Vardir. Oh. Sustained with goose down. What? Sustained with goose down. Sustained with...

I make sustainable pillows. So he's like, I don't give advice. And then of course, we then see flashbacks or Craig being like, this is what you have to do. You put the cheese after the eggs, after, and it will melt if you look at it. Here's how you do an oil change. Just get Naomi to break up with it,

and then it'll suddenly want to change itself. All right. Like Craig just giving Craig advice to everything, you know. So Craig, Craig doesn't know what to do, because he's finally been confronted and so he just goes, whoa, I don't think you two should be together. And she's like, I'm gonna interrupt you. Craig, he's like, okay.

Okay. If he's not asking for your opinion, do not give your opinion. That is all I'm asking. I was like, well, he did ask the opinion. I mean, this is all kind of Austin's fault. But you know what, I'm a big believer and a stupid man needing a woman to prod him along. Okay? I've seen him my whole life.

I'm a gay guy, and even I'm prodded along by intelligent women. Okay? What do you think? We're going to help each other. We're like, did your best friend call you and get you out of that? Yep, me too. Just listen to mad, shut up and listen to madison. Yeah.

So now over in the kitchen, the chef is cooking and serving some CBD wine to Chelsea. He was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, she actually sounds like she drinks wine. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and at this point Austin is stone. So it's like, now it's like our worst nightmare. It's like imagining posse bear stoned.

Waka, waka, waka. He's air talking really slowly. It's like he's like a drunk person eating spaghetti really slowly like. Haha. Haha. So camera enters and just gives the most camera and face possible. She goes like this. Which if you're listening at home, imagine like a pug that just ran into a wall.

Isn't that like every tug? That's literally how pugs were designed. God was like, here's a new kind of dog. What's just ran into the window? You know what I'm keeping? That's a really cute dog. That's a funny dog. Cute, that's crunched. So Chelsea is staring at Austin. She's like, watch your boss so much, Paul. What do you look so stoned, Rodney? What do your eyes look so stoned? This is why we're all fucked up or none of us are fucked up, okay?

We're not gonna have this. Why is Ronnie falling down? No, we're gonna have, why did I fall down with Ronnie? That's what we need. Yeah. falling down. No, we're gonna have, why did I fall down with Ronnie? That's what we need. Yeah. So, Chef shows up dressed like a Russian spy from 1987. He's like, Gorsh! Hello, Gorsh, rats. Hello, Gorsh!

And yet, we can't have a Gorba George. And Chelsea, uh, yeah, Chef's like, Gars, Russian Gars, Rusky Gars, Gars Gars. And Chelsea's like, oh, guess you're Putin, right? I was like, did you guys just hear of Putin? Yes, you're right. Because like, that's their only frame of reference.

Putin, number one fan, yes, Putin. So, so Whitney then shows up. And I can't tell if Whitney is stoned or just Whitney because he's like, he's like, so Eliza, don't you look pretty? Is that a McQueen sweater? Mother, I was like, what the, what is happening right now? It's just like all these strange entrances on this show. But Eliza is so young, she just looks at Whitney. She's like, McQueen, sweat. No. This is a school sweater made out of jewels.

Like, it's... Uh... So then Whitney just to say relevant, Chelsea's like, you won't some infused wine. Who's that mean? So in the other house, of course, Catherine is taking forever to get ready. And she's like, just leave me, Irma and day's like, we are not leaving without you. And she's like, this takes forever. Like grabbing those mounds of weave. Ha ha ha.

So then back in the kitchen, another reason why Madison has gone straight to my heart. She walks in and she goes, smells weird. I mean, I'm sure you're doing a great job. Oh. Oh. Smells weird. Shut up Set up your dating Austin. Don't worry, my good friend, Gayle Simmons will eat it if you don't want it. And he's like, whoa, look at you, new person. You're like a femme fatale.

Whoa, look at your soul dressed up. It's like James Bond. And you know in his head, he's like, well, I'm stressed for less, well, I'm stressed for less. Ha ha, mocking our for being poor, mocking our for sex. Thank you. He's also probably talking to a coat rack. He's so stone. He's like, hey, pretty thing. Why so quiet?

Is he stares into a water bottle? Second, thank you. You look very handsome too, Shepherd. I like your hat. And he's like, oh, gosh, thanks. Just, why are you being so nice to me? Just say it. Spit it out.

Why are you being so nice to me? He's like, do not have to spit something out. Okay, don't do that. He's like, gosh, I think I'm nice to you all the time. She's, uh-huh. You know what? I think you need to give me some of your gummies. He's like, oh, you want one sec?

So he gives her one. He's like, all right, come on. We gotta do this in private. It's gummy bear drugs. It's marijuana. They go up to the meth room. I'm going to go to a separate room. This is the official Karen Huger suite.

There is a giant ass tube TV in there. I was like, a huge tube TV. It's the Karen Huger. Well, best of all, the local public people here. Security, my beloved TV and Colorado. Well best of all, the local public people here, security, my beloved Javian Colorado. Cheers. Cheers.

So they go in to have a private gummy bear, drug meth talk. And Austin's like, oh boy. So they get alone and she's like, don't take a whole one, because you weigh half of what I weigh. She's like, how I happy to get that? Yeah, so as you know it's a full gummy and then also I don't like talking about the word gummy with chef but anyway so he's like this is what I'm talking about look I actually think you're cool you know I'm starting to think that more and more that like,

but I want you to sort of admit that you were talking with this emotion. I was like, you know, I shut the fuck up with this patronizing discussion. She doesn't need you to think that she's cool. I know, because she's like so above him. She walks into the room and does shit everywhere. And she's like, I'll see you cling to that.

And then once he does the drugs, she's like, she, you're cool, you did hard drugs with me. Yeah, girls. And she's like, are you trying to be nice to me? You literally called me white trash and he's like, yeah, I do think that though about the majority of people around me though, so. He's like, I'm not going to tolerate that behavior. He's like, Bullet.

And she's like, I'm like, sorry, go ahead. He's like, and you make a comment like that without even knowing me. And he's like, yeah, but you have to understand, I'm going to take my friends side. You know the one who's that I'm a loser and who shouldn't be getting girls over me. What a piece of shit. I'm gonna go out. You're a hard one.

So yeah, she's like, well, I think you're a bad influence on Austin. And he's like, three wheels of motherfucker, isn't it? I'm like, okay. Marijuana peddler on the corner. Sorry, your kid got addicted to my hard drug, grandma. Free wills a mother of fucker. Welcome to the Gordon movie, then.

I mean, I have to decide with Madison on this. I think anyone who said that trop hop tasted good. It's probably about influence on poor Austin. No, that I love when we do Southern charm recaps. that drop hop tasted good. It's probably about influence on poor Austin. No, what I love when we do Southern charm recaps, they invariably just turn into like, rousing political rallies. Yes. Everyone's like booing, or cheering.

Every single time we do Southern charm, it's great. I love it. Because it's just douchebags getting yelled at. It's like the best shit to watch ever, you know? It's the only reason I watched the debates. So she's like, oh, where are you blaming me? He's like literally in a bar like this in the corner with cartoon sweats squirting out of him.

And she's like, um, come on. He's probably nervous because you're breathing down his neck. I mean, that white class James Bond girls coming all over you. Yeah, he's like, no, look, all I do is just text him and say, hey, you want to hang out? And you don't like that. It's for in the morning and you're at a strip slash or club, chef. Yeah. And then upstairs Austin goes, I wonder the tale that he's weaving down stairs.

Why is he on TV? Fair question. He's like, I just don't like to be called Madison White Trash and Cameron's like, when did he say that? And Austin's like, when has he not said it? Let's be honest. Okay, well then that's where like, when has he not said it? Let's be honest. Okay, well then that's where you're an asshole. Okay, why are you hanging out with dudes that are calling your girlfriend white trash?

Yeah. So, uh, Chef goes... Garsh! I mean, you guys are both attractive humans, but that seems to be the only thing you guys share in common. You haven't even watched the Vietnam War together by Ken Burns. Gars. Maybe I'm wrong, sir. You are 100% wrong. I'm a business owner. Okay, he doesn't have that. I am an independent woman and he... Okay, he doesn't have that either.

I am a good person raising a child. OK, then. OK, we don't have shit in common, but he is my mother, fucker. And you come near him again. I'm going to cut your throat and stuff something up your butt. How about that? So then, Shaft find this like, you know what?

I was saying, I just did like, Shaft doing Ramona. You know what? Oh, of course. So I'm sorry, okay? Sorry. You can't see. That's it. I said it.

Whoa, Bethany, gosh. So, you don't support other women, okay? They're all excited. So, Shep is like, I was angry and I said some things I shouldn't have said and I apologize. Will you accept my apology? And then she just looks at him like your piece of garbage. And then the music, like all of a sudden it's like Game of Thrones music starts like, Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh That was a little intense, Bravo. Jocarrus motherfuckers. Basically, she's like, no, I'll think about it.

Thanks for the drugs. I'm leaving. Yeah, pretty much. So now everyone finally goes to the table. And wow, they have such a lovely meal ready for them. There's a green salad straight out of the bag. And some fettuccine with anonymous white sauce on it. Yeah, and there's like some airline chicken. You know that like airline white?

Like, I know that chicken is white, but it's like not chicken white. It's like polar shirt white. It's like the wrong white. Yeah. It's elephant white. Elephant white. Elephant white. Elephant white.

I'm like just because you put weed and shit doesn't mean you can call yourself a weed chef, okay? It's like any stoner who's ever stoned, you know, who's like, I can cook. And then we all go to the kitchen high, would I? Yeah, it's the best shit ever. You're eating like a paper towel, carton, you know, like the little thing in the middle of the paper towel. Like, oh, it's good. Your tail cart. You have a little thing in the middle of the paper towel. Yeah.

Now I'm true. Yeah. That's why we're not on video. Yeah. Yeah. So Shep starts doing a blessing for the table. He goes, thank you for all you have, John, given us. We will use this sweet leaf.

He's like trying to do like a rostapari. I was just like, I don't feel comfortable. I know, it's so awkward. And we're like the least religious people too. And I was like, oh yeah, don't do that. I was like, please, let's go back to Ashley. Can we go back to Ashley? So he's also, by the way, something

happened between downstairs and upstairs because the chef went from being pretty damn stone to a holy shit stone and his hair is like all over. He's spitting out more things than usual. It's like a Gallagher show, you know, with tarps. And the people who aren't doing it, they're like, oh my god, are you gonna do it? Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna do it?

And then it's like, I'll do it if you do it. Cameron said, I'm not gonna do it. I'm a mother, should I do it? Should I do it? And I'm like, oh my god. And you know these people all have like, Adderall prescriptions, fucking bike it in,

percuss that, like an anti-depressant. And Chef basically says, he's trying to get Cameron to put this like, this, this pot litter on her salad or whatever. And he's like, it makes it taste good. I swear it's buttery. I'm like, that is, I'm sure, a very common line

that he has said many times. Many, many times. And it really doesn't matter what we're doing. And it's really doesn't matter what we're doing. It's like something that's kind of coagulated and confusing. Sorry. Sorry, he did it.

Ben started it. I started it. No, because he serves butter sauce. And butter sauce. Ben manipulated me. Ben manipulated me. So then the camera is like, well, it is very entertaining. Watch my friends get high on the wacky weed,

but I'm just realizing now I am a mother. I was like, wait up. Congratulations, Cameron. So then is the meat of the white meat of the episode, if you will. Let's shout the doing finger guns, wallstone. I like Duranda when she's mad fingers. Shooting at the air.

I'm not going to lie. I was laughing. I mean, I get so mad at you and then I just watched him just being stoned and just like not stop laughing and I just can't help it. I laugh along. I can't help it. I'm that person. No, I don't even.

I didn't. I had that same feeling of just like, you know, when you see a squirrel crossing the road and you're like, that squirrel can get hit, but you just keep watching because you're like, if this squirrel gets hit, I'm going to be there to see it, you know? That's my general feeling of shot. I'm just kind of watching it and I know something bad is going to happen. So I just keep watching it to see what it is. A squirrel will get run over.

Eventually, it's Southern charm. Spoiler alert for the future. Mark my words. This is not going to end well. OK. OK. Talk to you in five years. I'm like the bitch psychic.

I'll just tell you any horrible thing that's going to happen in five years is really bitchy. This this cast nothing's gonna end well, okay talk to you then So as you were saying the me to the episode. Oh, yeah, this is a serious part so Catherine decides to take this moment Yeah, bring this out and it did have to table with everybody there. She's like Who organized this? They're like, ha ha ha ha ha. Ding ding ding. Um um um um. She's her mingana glass.

Like, um um um. So finally they can hear her. You know, the whole table has to get super quiet. You're like, yes, Catherine. She's like, Austin, did you organize this? She's like, organized what? Shredding! You better do us! Oh, shredding!

Rinda! She's like... Sorry. You're really trying to move this along and I'm not helping. Damn you! So she's like, did you organize all this sweet stuff? I just want you to know that I'm okay being around it. Totally fine, love it.

Hey, you guys like your wheat butter? Awesome! Love that you love it. Hey, you guys like your wheat butter? Awesome. Love that you love it. I'm not mad. Hey guys, I'm armed. Just wanted to say, I'm not mad. This is everybody's just looking at her like, is she mad? Because she's always talking in that little tiny voice. She's like, so then she gets onto her phone

and she starts looking up an article. And they're like, Catherine, as long as you're not mad right now and you might tell us what you're looking up and she's like, um, just an article about that Whitney was talking about how I was a drug addict and violent sociopath and how no one wants anything to do with me, just that, because I'm not mad. I'm not mad at all right now.

Not mad. Just for watching old Watch Watcher Happens Clips where Whitney's on there saying that I am a liar and a con woman and basically just a sack of goo for Thomas' babies. And I'm trying to steal all of his money and do truck all over it to help. This is great.

This is great. Great clip. Anybody want to watch my phone? It's a good clip. How can you even hang around these people? What are you even doing there? I forgot how dark this show can get. Yeah.

So she just gets up and leads. She goes to the other house. And then Craig follows her and goes, Catherine, where did you go, little one? It's like, what horror movie is this? I'm terrified. She's like, I just need a moment. Just leave me alone. You know, I'm cool with it, but you can't tell with Katherine

because she's always talking in the same tone and she's always on her phone. She's like, fine, I'm fine. That's how you can find Katherine in a dark forest because you just see that little shine of the phone on her face. Is that all you see in the scene is her little tiny face in the back corner of the backyard just sitting there like it's terrifying. It's really it's it's it's first-carers in.

Yeah, so he's basically trying to talk her up and Craig has always been a big advocate for Catherine, you know, he'll always come through and stand up for Catherine. I mean, if they're lost, he'll bury a hole, and he'll just go to sleep with her in. And I mean, Craig is just a very good friend of Catherine, you know? He was already building a little fort in the snow at this point.

Yeah. He's like, I built this, so we're a verse egg glue. We got lost between House number one and house number two. So I made us a snow bunker. Craig there was a deck connecting them both. We didn't see any lights. So she is telling him. She's like, yeah, you know, I'm remembering them talk shit about me and Whitney straight up. Then I got a lunch with Whitney and he's straight up saying he didn't have sex with me. What the fuck? Which is what she should have been saying.

Yeah, but of course, he's like, and then I went to lunch and then went and said it was my sex with me, I mean, or um. So Craig goes back in, just as Chef Royalty is presenting some infused potatoes. Potatoes. The chef's like,

Travis potatoes. Anyone not feeling it? Anyone not feeling it? I feel it. These are literally the eggs. You're gonna get fucked up on these brats. You're gonna get fucked up on these brats. You're gonna get fucked up on these. These are a little extra.

And Sepp goes, thought what's my nickname growing up? And I was like, you were not extra growing up. Shut up. But he didn't mean that. He goes, little potato. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Little potato. Special potato. Oh, special potato. Special potato. Special potato. Special potato. Oh, I would love to know what sort of maplers get. You get up in here, you little special potato. Did you get that special potato head over here?

Come on, take those teeth out. Oh, those are come with it. So, so Craig comes back in and asks like, a Craig, this is insane. Where have you been? It's like, well, Catherine's in the other house that apparently there's a deck that connects it. And she's like upset and sitting in a chair.

I got lost. And she goes, hold on guys, Craig's trying to say something. So now we get like a mix of like, Craig actually trying to say something and she's mocking at the same time. So it's tension is starting to build. So Craig's like, Whitney, you're really not going to go over there and see if Catherine's okay and when he's like Mother, I mean why would I mother mother? Do not move Whitney. Mother shut up.

What are you even talking about mother? Do not move Whitney. Do not move until you hear woman in the shower. Then take that mother not from Craig's hand and do what you have today. He's like, what's going on? He's like, well, you denied hooking up with her when you fucked her this summer. And then you made her feel like shit.

When he's like, what's shit, shit. Oh, shit. Shit. Hey, is that McQueen? Is that McQueen? Craig also says, why do you keep, why are you all laughing? This isn't funny. I'm like, because they're all stoned, Craig. Yeah.

They're all stoned. So when he's like, you are insane, which is the line this year for guys like lying about fucking people That's Austin you are insane right now Pulling it is dick I cannot believe that we didn't get a clip of Austin pulling his dick going you are insane You're insane right now. This is insane. This is insane So Craig's like I literally just pulled my nut. That's insane right now, it isn't insane. It isn't insane. So Craig's like, I literally just pulled my knot. That's all right.

That's all right. So then, yeah, so Craig is like, she stayed with you and you said that you were flattered that she had this thought, but it didn't happen. And when he's like, how do you know this? And Chepp goes, you smell his dick? Garsh! High five! No one. Yeah, I can't ask him like, bro! How do you know this and chef goes you smell is dick gosh high five no one

And I Bro I shredded that joke is hilarious And Craig's like yeah, but like I'm telling you our friend you claim to be friends with that you're totally making money off of her Pain and a lot of her children and the loss of her fucking life over all these years. The friend that's like, really, you're a true friend is upset right now and you don't care. I'm like, he's profited a lot of money off that upset-edness. Why the, you know?

Craig's like, yeah, you could care less. Couldn't care less, you could've crag'd. Couldn't crag'd. He even stoned, I know your dumb. Yeah. I'm like, he even stoned, I know your dumb. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She remembered that two years ago you said she shouldn't have her kids because of drugs and tonight we're celebrating the reason Feel like the kids the drugs Guards are an idiot Craig showed up stupid

So Craig's like have you ever said sorry for any of the things you've ever said, Whitney. And when you say, you know what, Craig, focus on yourself. Adlyze, that's Steve McQueen's sweater, which I think is Steve McQueen, isn't it? Just have we changed the topic? Do we still have to talk about this? The executive producer of a reality show telling someone to mind their own business is the funniest shit I've heard in a long time, I have to say. So finally Whitney just walks over. If I was like, could you just walk the 50 or a thousand feet of takes to get over there?

Yeah. So Whitney's like, you know, if I had sex with somebody and then they lied about it, it would hurt my feelings because I'd be like, I'm not that bad. So sweet, that guy. So Whitney walks over to the other house, and it's like the Blair Witch project. He's like,

Catherine? Catherine? Who? It's like shining a flashlight. Catherine? Oh, I love to take Shiny a flashlight? Catherine? There's a shot to Patricia with her back facing to him in every corner. I have my regula.

A hamburger without tomato. Mother, no, no mother. I see no need for an inferior mountaineer. Mother. Mother. You just see a calf tan go right behind him. Clinking ice in a glass. You just see like a ghost Michael logging. The Blimp Hat project.

Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. So Kath, so Whitney finally makes it outside and he goes, isning. And she's like, um, lit by the, lit by the phone.

She's like, um, um, um, um, um, red, ravenile, red, ravenile. Um. Um. Um. Um. Um. He's like, evening miss. There are a rather out here, ain't it?

Just go away, not now. Please. Someone said you were upset with me. Walk away with me. Yeah, it's Patricia. So Catherine choose him away when he's like, oh, mother. And that was the big cliffhanger ending. Southern Charles.

You guys, this was a crazy, crazy episode. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim. Jim, Jim. What a cool thing. Crazy crazy Thank you guys so much Crazy thank you. Thank you for coming to see us. Thank you so much Happy Roll for more energy! Bye! Take prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens, add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.