Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Nashville Predators
Episode Date: June 28, 2019The "Southern Charm" guys head to Nashville to terrorize the local female population while the women back in Charleston gather for a celebration of artichokes at Patricia's house. In the end,... Austen realizes he's been entranced by Shep, which could possibly lead to a reunion with him and Madison. WHO KNOWS?? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
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Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
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What happens? I've got a problem with crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island.
It's Cartoon, available on YouTube. It's a parody of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's Cartoon. Available on YouTube.
It's a parody of the Real Housewares of New York. Go check it out and subscribe. It would mean a lot.
And joining me is the hilarious multi-talented, colored church wearing Ronnie Caram of the Rose
Prick's Bachelors podcast. What is going on, Mr. Ronnie? Hi, Ben. Hello, hello. So very exciting. Here we are on the cusp of July.
And in case you didn't hear, we have two shows that still have tickets next month in July.
Cleveland and Baltimore. Cleveland is on July 25th. My brother's birthday, okay. And then
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Those are very selling very nicely at a nice even pace.
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And then after July, we have a whole bunch of shows.
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We got Charlotte, Nashville, Carbureau,
which is like Chapel Hill, a research triangle,
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of the year will be in Seattle, Washington, and guess what, we're even going to have some
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of course tickets are at watchrocrapins.com, that's where you can also get merchandise, lots of fun merchandise up there, we have a DOOOOOOORNNNNNNN to describe that one. Just look at it. It's a really cool T-shirt.
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So yeah, fun times.
And today is Southern charm.
Whoa, I'm gonna do Southern charm in a Ramona voice.
I don't care that it's Southern charm.
I'm already ready for the New York premiere.
I'm just gonna use all New York voices.
Actually, this is a problem I'm having.
You know, Ronnie, we've always talked about how
we will just start talking in Ramona voice to people, you know?
Yeah, and people are like, huh?
Lately, I've started to talk in Luan voice, people, you know? Yeah. And people are like, huh, lately I've started to talk
in the WAN voice, and that's a real problem
because people think I'm being a cocky motherfucker.
I'm like, oh really?
Oh, well, obviously.
And people like really, and I'm like, no, no,
I'm in character, you know, but people like.
Oh, no.
Doesn't work that natural.
I just have that natural tone to my voice anyway.
So I'm just like one of those Garfield queens
You know, it's like not Garfield. What's Stanley the cat?
Stanley the cat. Yes, I have that in my personality naturally where I'm like, oh really is that what we're doing today?
That one kind of comes natural, but yeah, the Ramona your Ramona gets me in more trouble because it just sounds like I'm having some kind of
Like a seizure or something. Yeah, I was in the store it just sounds like I'm having some kind of a
like a seizure or something. Yeah, I was in the store the other day and I'm like, whoa, you have the Croy, it's a crew, Cucumber and and a cucumber and blackberry flavor. Well, never heard that.
And they just look at me like the Russian and the Russian liquor stores just looking at me like,
what the fuck is wrong with me?
Yeah, it's like the time when we had a layover. I think it was in Portland and it was one
I was at an airport where we had to actually get off the plane and onto the tarmac to get
into the airport and we were like walking on the tarmac and you just went whoa
yeah everyone on the tarmac was like what was that? I mean, I got it
Rolona sticks with you forever. Oh, and speaking of that tonight. We're doing two we're doing two videos today
This video Southern charm and then tonight we're doing one right after New York at 730 Pacific time
So that's our index on demand is the real housewives in York season now. Okay. Yeah, when you recognize it
So look so young
Yeah, it might get delayed a little bit
because I'm also slated to pick up my brand new Subaru, okay?
And so I have to head to Glendale, California
to pick it up.
So I'm hoping they don't like, text me at like six o'clock
and say, guess what, it's here.
So just everyone be on high alert, high alert,
Subaru alert, okay?
We're on orange band picking up his car
alert. Okay, so let's get into some southern charm. Well, speaking of very sensible sedans,
let's look at these guys. It's morning in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee and we hear
all this bucolic music. I forget what the piece is, but it's like that famous classical piece that's like ten. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I would totally go see like a corral performance of garses and arms. Gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars Did you notice we had a new animal mascot on southern charm on for Bravo today?
No, what was it?
It was a little crawfish walking amongst the leaves.
Oh, yeah, I did see that.
I thought it was a roach at first, didn't you?
Crawfish have roach tails.
That's what I learned on southern charm.
Well, they have lost their tail.
Lobster tails, not roach, they don't have roach tails.
They don't have roach tails. They look like a roach. No, I mean, just because they're called mudbugs, just means they got bed, branding, okay?
It's a crawfish or a slide called a crawdaddy.
I like how in the very beginning when they were showing the previously they're trying to make it sound like the most dramatic season ever.
They were remixing the music to be like,
Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap,
It's like, Dilpa, so much salt on the food, bro.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, you're mean.
No, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, the boys call out, call out.
Craig threw a paper plate at Whitney.
Oh, no!
Oh, that paper plate is the new Ashley.
I'm sorry, I manipulated you into throwing a paper plate at Whitney. Who's a boy?
So yeah, car, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars So we're just smoky mountains campground and the music is interrupted by Whitney using his electric teeth brush Now if I'm not allowed to litter anymore then why is Whitney allowed to spit his toothpaste into the river?
I'm calling Peter!
Yeah, I don't think he should be allowed to have an electric toothbrush while camping
It was like when I was um when I was like 18 and I went to college so before orientation
My school like pretty much made everyone go on these camping trips and
they were like, it's camping.
So like, don't bring deodorant.
Don't do this or that.
It's like, okay, I'm a beat.
Yeah, they were like, they just for some reason they explicitly said, don't bring deodorant.
I don't know why.
So I was like, I'm a beatian.
I'll follow the rules.
So I didn't bring deodorant and then everyone else did.
So I was like the smelly kid on the camping trip
Okay, so I'm resentful people would bring their amenities and then I'm the one who looks bad
I'm like I'm angry at Whitney now. I'm like I'm like well fine. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Okay fine now. I know I feel bad
Yeah, I don't agree with me too. Yeah for those kids being mean to you
so
It looks like a typical day after shooting. There's just you know alcohol bottles
littering the littering the capsides. Terrible. And they have to get up and go to Nashville for the next part of their trip.
Garsh. Time. We were just really arguing and you were mowing at this whole episode, aren't we?
Get up bro. Time's wasting. Garsh. Yeah and, and steps doing that abusive husband thing on lifetime where like last night
He was running through the house chasing you with scissors and you're about to die and then the next morning
You wake up and he's like hi honey cars would you like some breakfast?
It's like get out of here gars low. Okay. You rob low gars gars
There's a lot of here with your abusive ass. Garst, you're in Matheson.
So,
Meredith Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the
Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the guess he'd been in there all night and everyone's like you're okay Craig. How you doing Craig? He's like
You guys pissed me off a really bad last night. I was like wow
Not even this archaic device can live my moods right now
I'm sorry Garseus call it truce. Do you want some scrambled garsh?
And so he feeds Craig and Austin's like, uh, yeah, I've seen this before. It's called fucking abuse, okay?
Someone's a meme to you and then they're nice to you the next day and tries to do something for you.
I'm like, yes, Austin, you're correct, but you're also contributing to the problem.
So I don't want to hear it from you. The only problem you have, the only reason you have a problem with this today is because it's aimed at you.
Yeah, maybe if you had a job, you wouldn't even be in the situation in the first place.
So Shep is like, good job, good job. So Shep is, he's making scrambled eggs on this plate.
That's like over a flame. It's like a, it's some sort of contraption. It can't make things.
He's like, gosh, I like this tool. It's like Austin, a useful tool. Gosh, gosh, gosh. I'm like, gosh, you're giving Austin way too much credit. I'm not sure about the usefulness
So then they're like how long they take to get to Nashville four hours. Oh my god
I'm just imagining a ship going into flight of the mumble bee. Gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh both try to get through it. We try to get through it.
By the way, anybody is still listening to this recap today.
Thanks, I can't believe it.
You're a strong constitution that you're still
sitting there listening to this bullshit.
OK, good job.
So anyway, we now go over to the OBGYN with Chelsea and Danny.
It's also the name of their morning show, OBGYN with Chelsea
and Danny. It's also the name of their morning show OBGYN with Chelsea and Danny
Stick face and Chelsea. So we got on the OBGYN and Chelsea's like, hi girl
Hi, look at these pictures of babies on the wall. You want more of those?
And Danny's like my mom's making me
Trying to make her stink face
the only side of my mom's making me trying to make her stink face.
I yeah, she's like basically, she says that she wanted to do this.
She wanted it like freeze her eggs and do it with like,
she wanted to bring her really close friend with her.
But you know, since she and Catherine are fighting right now,
she's like, it's gotta be Chelsea and she just can't believe this is the situation she's in like she never thought she'd be frizzing her eggs without Catherine with her.
I know I haven't spoken to her since the pillow party so glad to have a good friend here.
God you should be friends with my friends Danny would be a fucking nervous wreck okay she'd
be putting a mental hospital if she hung out with my friends for a day we're like hey
fatty hey stupid alright good to see you daddy be like
I'm also like desperate for this cast to have another party so that way they can stop constantly referring to the pillow party
Well, I haven't done this is the pillow party
Most dramatic season ever I haven't eaten a bugle since the since the pillow party
So Danny's like yeah, she really hurt my
feelings and Chelsea's like, uh, like get over it. Chelsea has
get over it face. Yeah, she does. And then Danny's like, you
know, I'm not her dormant. I'm just not now, excuse me, I'm
gonna lie down on the floor if you feel like stepping on me,
you may, you may. Your feet do look dirty, though, and I don't
want you having my freezing eggs day with 30 feet, just go
ahead, wipe my mobs. It's fine. I actually enjoy providing the surface for you I guess. So we go into
the doctor's office and Danny's just staring at one of those pictures of I don't know
the insides of a lady. And I have to say I'm very proud of the women of Southern Charm
for being as ignorant about women's the women's bodies as men Because Chelsea's like what is that?
It's like I think that's a map of the greater Charleston area
Is that the Rapunzel bridge? I think it's a fallopian tube. Oh, we actually have a tube here
That was like yeah, she they don't know what it is and
Chelsea's just staring at it sideways
Yeah, she didn't know what it is. And Chelsea's just staring at it sideways.
It's like, that's a uterus.
I don't know nothing about this stuff.
So the doctor comes in wiping her hands,
which I really don't like because this suggests
that the doctor just put some of that like anti-bacterial,
anti-bacterial gel, and she's coming in with that.
I don't like that.
Anti-bacterial gel, I've told my meanwhile that. I don't like that. Anti-bacterial gel. I've told my Mimaw this a million times and no one listens to me
We'll cause the next super virus, okay? And when the next super virus is called Mimaw
You know why because she uses it every five seconds and I'm convinced she's gonna kill the entire world
Yeah, I'm a huge hyperchondriac and shockingly I'm not into the into the anti-bacteria gel thing because I also feel like you got to like I don't know
Like first of all I think that not when it comes to that stuff like we're by and large
Okay, however when it comes to doctors
I'm pretty down for doctors
Cleat washing their hands before they see me because I don't know what they just saw washing your hands
Yeah, washing your hands, but not doing the antibacterial stuff
Okay, like when this world turns into Apocalypse Mima, you'll know I'm right.
Apocalypse Mima.
Whatever. Until then, just keep hiring doctors. You said antibacterial instead of washing
your hands. Go ahead. What do I care? I look young.
Whenever I see antibacterial things like those automatic dispensers, it always takes me back
to 2010 when I went to the club met in Port St. Lucie. And there was like a giant antibacterial
thing in the cafeteria. And you'd have to walk in
and stop there, and I just hated it.
And I was like, I don't wanna, it was weird.
I didn't wanna put it on before I,
this weird Johnson and Johnson's chemically smelling thing
right before I eat my tater tots.
Yeah.
So, Danny's like, I wanted to learn more about
freezing my eggs.
And Chelsea's still over there, like, trying to, like, figure out what the uterus model is,
you know, like-
Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh,
freezing eggs.
Chef just texted me to say you could actually scramble them over a useful tool called Austin.
Isn't that cool?
God.
I almost got my eggs tool called Austin. Isn't that cool? God. I almost got my excramiled over Austin.
Fee you!
Crasse subordinate of my rod.
So yeah, this doctor comes in.
She's like, well, basically we'll give you hormones for a 10 to 14 days, which by the
way does not seem like a crazy window to me.
I thought it was going to be like three months.
And then she's like, it's for 10 to 14 days, and then we're going to harvest your eggs,
and there's like pretty much no guarantee you'll get anything out of it. So you want to do it?
I know sounds fun doc. Thanks for the hard sell
She's like, hey listen, I'm sure you've got plenty eggs. You're not too old to have eggs
The problem is that they're probably all discussed in old and crippled
Okay, I can see your eggs limp in you want to free you're gonna need to freeze a lot of those eggs
Listen, I'm sure you have tons of eggs.
The question is, do you have as many people
lined up to buy your art?
Just saying, I've seen it online, I've seen it online.
Every egg is a customer unrealized.
What was it?
So then over in Nashville, the guys arrive.
And by the way, and this is really not a plug for our show,
but watching them in Nashville got me so excited
to go back
Because we had such a fun time there last time so when I was there I was like oh my god, I can't wait to go and I
I'm this time I want to
Follow this footsteps of chef and Craig in Austin and see just how douchey their night out was, you know
so they they go to a hotel called the fair lane and they get the pen and sweet and it's nice.
Yeah and Craig's like dude look at this tear.
We got to bring people here.
And I'm just terrified.
You know that's what that's why I never want to stay in sweets like that because you're just
laying on dried douche
Spurmed ejaculate. Yeah, you just know you are it's gross
I don't want to think whoever goes to that. I mean, I know that the fair lane thinks if they're getting this great free
Advertising up. We're not free but advertising on Bravo by giving them this sweet. No, you're not like I don't ever ever
Want to be in that room ever? Okay. Yeah, now this is when you need the antibacterial
Yeah, I mean talk about frozen sperm it's everywhere so yeah chef is like
gosh if Austin can't get a girl back to this amazing sweet then
Austin we have a problem gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh
because you know Austin works in both Austin works in both situations. Works in both situations.
Gosh.
Gosh, it's time to go to a commercial.
Ah, Craig.
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So then they, uh, they're getting ready and grooming and, um,
SEP gives himself a go-t.
Looks terrible.
Uh, but it's so him.
It looks like it's part of him, you know, it's
like that guy Fieri look. It's so him. I just need him to wear like a sun visor backwards,
you know, or do whatever diners drive in some that show just keeps coming up by the way
this year. Yeah, it's this week, but blame chef, okay, with his go to yeah, I feel like
chef is the one who's watching all those generic food network competitions that all look
exactly the same. People lined up in weird lighting
in front of a brick sort of wall gulping
because they were afraid they're gonna get eliminated
because they didn't make a cracker in the right shape.
So, yeah, so chef has his goatee and he's all proud of it.
And so, he's like standing in like the living room
area of the suite and Craig comes out first. And he's like, oh, it's like standing in like the living room area of the suite and Craig comes out first and
He's like, oh, it's like trying to show it off and Craig's like he's like, I shaved and Craig's like, oh
They like look since he's the go-teaming. He's like, oh, I didn't even realize it
And she's like, what do you mean he didn't even realize it? How could you not see my flesh-colored go-tie?
gosh
Yeah, he does have a flesh-colored go-tie. same color as the skin so nobody can tell and then Austin's like
Why are you moving your head like that bro?
And she's like my shave gosh, he's like, yeah, I guess when in Rome, right?
Poor Austin though, he didn't have as much luck. I think he saw me. to shave an unique himself he's like oh god damn it so Austin's like so Madison just sent me
a text and it's a picture of her looking hot as fuck and he ready to go out what is that
supposed to mean what is the purpose of that and Craig's like she's evil and that's what
evil people do you know Hitler was totally known for sending shots of
himself in a speed out to world leaders it's just how evil people were yeah didn't you hear about when you sent that dick pick to Winston Churchill
evil and sets like a course okay just tell her things but there's 500 girls right outside my door and all of them are hotter than you.
White trash, white trash, hair dressing, snot face.
500 girls that are better looking than you outside my window.
What, like, could you, Matt, I mean, what?
That's so sharp. I love that.
Shep thinks in internet comments, you know, it's like he can't come up with something intelligent to say so it's like you're ugly
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, I mean it's like for someone who like prides himself on having class and being a gentleman like that. That's the response
It's just like if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all. Okay, so
No, I just say don't say it all, okay? So, uh,
Matt Garsh.
Oh, so, uh, Austin's like,
Chef, come on, leave her alone, you know,
like, I don't want to just do that to her
and her to feelings.
He's like, what, you don't want to do what hook up
because she was doing that while she was dating you.
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Why are these guys so obsessed with Madison?
Do you really think that they're doing
what the girls you suit?
Remember when,
patron, what was her name?
I'm obsessed with Patreon too.
The girl from last year who dressed like a unicorn,
they were really meeting, oh yeah, her.
When the girls were like, fuck that girl
trying to come on our show and Naomi's like,
she's thirsty.
Yeah. Do you think they're doing that with Madison? Like they that girl trying to come on our show. And Naomi's like, she's thirsty. Yeah.
Do you think they're doing that with Madison?
Like they're just trying to protect their show
from new cast members or what?
There might be.
There might be something like that.
I mean, later on, we also get a much better insight
into why Shep might be doing what he's doing.
But there could be something like that.
It is weird.
It's one thing to be like, oh, I didn't like
that she went and had revenge sex.
I thought that was like not cool, but this is really like above and beyond.
Okay, like a very much above and beyond.
Yeah, they're going over the top for sure.
Not that Madison is innocent by any means.
I mean, she's a firecracker, but she is like, but like this is like the punishment does
not meet the crime.
So now the guys go out to the restaurant in the hotel and they they're sitting there picking out wines
And it's like oh, I think we should get two bottles right and then like or I guess Craig suggests that and then it becomes this weird thing
We're Whitney and chef are gonna pick one bottle and Craig and Austin pick another bottle
So it's like this weird little like bottle feud happening and so
Shep is like rich bottle poor bottle. And so, uh, Chef is like- Rich bottle, poor bottle.
Yeah, so Chef is like, actually,
Stag's leap is pretty good, the cab.
And then Craig just looks at him and goes,
really, you're gonna go with that.
Okay, and then Chef-
I mean, I've had that before, bud.
Chef gives him such an angry look
when all that Craig was doing was basically
everything that Chef was doing to Craig the night before
You know
Yeah, but it's like Craig. I love what Craig tries to retain that he's rich too. Yeah
It's like us dag sleeve now in Craig's defense
I don't remember stag sleep being a fancy bottle of wine either. Why is it a hundred something dollars?
That's nice. Well, maybe it was like a certain vintage
I don't know or maybe their prices went up because they've st stacked leap was one of the wineries that I think burned down in the napafire
Right right?
Gosh, I don't know. I think so. I know.
They're making the pressing damn thing. I know. Sorry, but I mean, but they're but they're but their bottles are not a hundred
Why remember I went wine tasting? This one time when I was a little girl I went wine tasting in Napa Valley
And I went to Staggs leap with my parents
The wine is very affordable. Okay
That's true. It's a affordable wine. I get it must have just been like a dance bottle
Yeah, but it was like super fancy at this restaurant and Craig's like really and then Whitney goes
Went to get with a Craig become an owner file.
And I had to totally look that up,
so I was like an UNO file,
such as someone who loves UNO.
Well, I'm sure Craig is that too.
Wild card.
I fancy myself not so much an on a file,
but a mom of file mother
Get the stags leap with me just fuck with them
Patricia's just stuck in with these head
So yeah, so then Craig is like we'll get that
Rock a moron like oh the shadow the world was more than yeah
Day rocha moron, please and so the rich kids are like laughing at him and she's like oh
It's a regular summer. Yeah over there
And then when he's like they're trying their wine
It's better than their wine mother
It's better than their watch I'm like how about you guys just all get some time and like some Charles Shaw, okay? And just call it a night.
Yeah, and Austin's like, well, you guys have a few more years on us to learn about wines,
I guess, and to spend more money on wine.
And Whitney's like, yeah, we earned it.
She knew what my mother had to do for this bottle of wine.
We earned this bottle of wine. It's like darn right
Older statesman gorsh
So then we come from a long line of other people earning money
We come from a long line of an eroding things. So Craig is like I'm not sure you earned it
She up goes Craig
Quit acting so obstinate!
Where are you being so ornery, bro?
Are you being so ornery?
So ornery.
Oh, so obstinate all the time.
It's just like his attitude is infectious and insidious, gosh!
And Whitney's basically like, okay guys,
since I'm sitting here making millions of dollars,
I'm making you guys look stupid for my television show.
I'll pay for dinner.
Yeah, get whatever you want, I'm gonna kill her.
I'm gonna kill her,
I'm gonna put down the knife, Patricia.
I said, okay, sorry mother.
Sorry.
So, yeah, so now they start talking about Catherine
and how they're just read online
that Catherine filed documents
for full custody of her children and then Thomas Ravenel filed a counterclaim, etc.
Which is probably why like she's been more emotional than usual. So Craig turns to Whitney and he's like, um, so you were hanging out with Catherine this summer, a.k.a. having sex with her apparently so was she like happy and bubbly then you know
you're having sex having sex with her she bubbly
was it bubble sex it's sexy bubble sex was she happy was she smiling you had
glasses on right see if she was smiling
crack
crack I'm not a cracker. I'm a cracker. It's like, what are you talking about?
And he's like, what?
Like, everybody knows the summer when you were hooking up,
banging, doing it, playing pipe, you know?
And he's like, hey, she just told me you were hooking up the other day
and Austin's like, just to admit you made Catherine.
And she's like, whatever happened is none of your business.
Oh, like, your whole plot this here is someone else's sex life.
When you talking, yeah, suddenly there's a boundary for
a chat, please.
So then the wine lady comes and she's, she's like a Simpson's
character.
She's just all craggly in the corner with the bottle of wine.
Like, yeah,
opening this bottle of wine. And she's chefs like that's not your business and Craig's like well then he should know hooked up
But they're then chefs like you go fuck whoever you want
I think Craig's like well your brains work differently than mine chefs like your content right dude
He's getting a winery. He's getting a winner over right dude. He's getting watery. He's getting
watery over that one. He's obstinate. That's what I'll tell you.
And obstinate. Craig goes, you just don't see things the way I do. And
chef goes, yeah, I'm smart. And then the music goes, the rattle like, They're riding like who big fight? So they go Craig's like you had to go outside Austin because those guys are being pornaries.
It's like just not even a word Craig.
They're so blossom it Craig no, I literally just had to work for you
So Austin's like caught you know like being close quarters with those guys, like
Chef just thinks like he's better than everyone else, you know, and everyone else is lower
than him.
It's like crazy.
What's up with that?
Yeah.
It's almost as if he owns, he has a lot, a lot, a lot of money and a trust fund and all
that stuff.
And you have none of it, Austin.
It's almost just like that.
Yeah. Similar. Although I don't feel like Austin should be acting like he's so poor either
I mean his parents have invested a lot of money. Yeah they're all rich. I'm sick of all
them pretending like oh god we come from the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah. My father
builds. Yeah. So then Whitney back inside the guy, they're both groups of guys are talking
about each other and Whitney is like, what's up with Craig?
He's got this sense of
entitlement means crazy. Yeah, I didn't entitlement does Craig have except for the entitlement that comes with thinking you can sleep into
11.30 a.m. and still be a lawyer, you know and she's like he has no class not one zero
Hey Austin, don't forget to tell a man and they're
500 girls outside your window who are hotter than she is
Garsh
Yeah, and when she talks about having no class
He's like sit leaning back in his seat with his armpits out and his hands behind his head
He's a guy that's classless. Yeah, with his go-t
Yeah, it's yeah with this guy for your e-look. Yeah, and he's like he's called an assistant that does nothing
I'm like excuse you that assistant does a lot
Seeing a Craig pillow before she didn't how did you eat chicken nuggets at Craig's house?
She did it. Give Anna Hayward some love. Please. I mean do you think the box of beef jerky just walks its way inside the house?
No, it does not
So Whitney's like,
humanity, right now, because we got to do something on this trip,
like we're literally doing nothing. So it's like, gosh, she's
just are just a mad at you know what I mean? Like, you know, you
go to a bar without crack, no girls, you go to a bar with crack,
there's girls everywhere. So, you know, you got to be, he's got to
be nicer to me because I'm richer and I've got to be nicer to
him because he's hotter
Yeah, it's basically how I think this relationship works
Yeah, and then it like then there's like this weird toast with Winnien Craig being like oh
Well, we sort of get up into each other's business and they're hot talks eat each other so cheers Craig cheers
It's like what?
Chris, I thanks
Yeah, so he's like thanks for dinner and he's like, well, sorry, you know, Craig, you know, sometimes
we got hard at each other and he's like, yeah, like, sometimes we throw hot dogs at each
other's head and get hot dog juice on each other's eye glasses.
And Whitney's like, and that too.
That too.
Whitney's so mad.
Yeah, he's like, don't remind me about my Warby Parker's.
Yeah.
So, now we go over to Patricia, Miss Patricia, who's hanging out in her library,
and she's sitting there, and she rings the bell for Michael to come on in, and she's
like, Michael, Luke, Radclad, and antique shop. It's a little French bonnet for Chancet.
It's like this antique, probably for like a dollar or something, but she has the plan
is to put it on Choncy the pug.
I just love the activities that happen in this household. You know, it's like weird arts and craft dress up, you know.
I don't think this is gonna work for Chon. Sam, now let's talk about my fabulous dinner I'm gonna throw. You know the new dish where I got
Fabulous dinner. I'm gonna throw you know the new dish where I got the auto choke
Autochoke set. I got from autochokes. Our clearance sale going out of business for all your autochoke needs plates
dishes Glasses got everything I need over it choke lots
Everything I needed that Gwyn's auto choke division
Everything I needed at Gwyn's auto choke division. Gwyn's. Gwyn just sells everything in town.
Yeah, auto choke plates, auto choke bibs, auto choke table mats.
I mean, Patricia better come out with an auto-captain after this episode.
Just auto-chokes.
Which actually I think would be kind of chic.
Yeah. She's like, well, I think I'm going to change the guy's dinner party I normally do
since they're all in jail now
She's got got to change the seating arrangement
Well, I decided it's the me to move me and I should probably get with the program. So make it a girl's dinner
The me to move it. I love that by the time the me to movement gets all the way to Charleston
Nobody even knows what it is anymore
It's like oh this movement about women not having the same amount of dinner parties is men
It's time to put a stop to that
Well, I've heard there's been some inequality in the workplace about who gets autochokes
So uh, Tom's up. Ladies get the autochokes now
If only Harvey Weinstein had taken some of them girls
who had been a part of it.
And it is what happened.
I called up Georgia Mossbucker from Poland's Embassy,
and I said, you have to get back here for an auto-choke,
because it's for the auto-choke to move, Mitch.
So get back here.
Auto-ch choke, Steve.
And how do you think sweet potatoes feel?
Like she's like totally out of town.
We don't care about sweet potatoes.
They've had their moments.
Auto choke, too.
Auto choke.
So she's like, all right, well, I haven't come up with anything
other than an auto choke idea, but there's always tomorrow.
He's like, oh, man, I think Miss Scarlett might have said that once.
She's like, I think you might be right.
Now get this ridiculous dog out of my face, Michael.
Auto ch jokes too. So then we go over to the guys in a bar.
What were you expecting? The guys in the library?
It's like the beginning of every guy I've seen.
Guys in a bar.
Guys in a bar.
So yeah, so Shep and Austin are talking to different girls
and Shep is like, they're all just talking to girls.
There's all a million girls flock around them
So chef is like oh gosh Whitney talking about my balcony at the fair lane
It's perfect to push someone off it. I mean make out with someone on it
Yeah, he and Austin are walking around like yeah, we have a penthouse
Yeah, and Whitney's like I don't want to do shots mother
Do it with me. No, mother, please do it choke yourself with a penthouse. Yeah, and Whitney's like, I don't want to do shots, my therapist. Do it with me. No, my
therapist, please do it. Choke yourself with a shot with me. He's like, that's disgusting. He
don't look so yeah, everybody that Austin goes up to apparently, Chef goes right up behind him to,
you know, get the after ass, which is totally a chef move, you know. Yeah, exactly. And,
and by the way, I do love the juxtaposition of Patricia talking about me to and female empowerment and then immediately
Switching over to these guys like being like come to our penthouse come to our penthouse
Come to our penthouse which sounds so sketchy and sounds like it'll lead to something really bad
We have a penthouse you want to come up in our edition for our new film?
Yeah, please drink any beverage that does not, that's in a glass.
Yes, please.
Yeah, welcome up, me too, me too.
Everyone, we're supporting the me too.
Like nobody can get it on this show.
Can I bring this artichoke?
No, I'm sorry.
See, there is a reason for it.
Artichoke too.
So, so basically,
Chef is fully cock-blocking Austin, like's fully cocked blocking Austin,
like just going up to every girl,
like Austin's with some girl and and she plays golf.
So then she goes in and starts talking about golf and the hook and all this
stuff. And Austin's like, oh,
she I think Craig needs to talk to you.
And she of course doesn't listen.
So now Austin's just like pissed.
Cause this but the is pretty is also yeah, he's pissed,
but he was never really after any of those girls
to hook up anyway.
He just wanted someone to listen to him.
So he goes up to this couple of girls, and he's like,
have you ever had those days where you love someone
so much that all you can think about is what they're doing?
I'm like, where are they?
How could you send me that picture?
What do you think it's mean?
So when someone sends you a selfie of them looking
up for they go out
But yes, it's supposed to mean. They're like are you speaking Japanese? What is your mouth keep moving?
He's like, I mean, I just had this one girl who I just can't get out of my head
I mean am I helpless or hopeless and this girl goes okay? Well, this has been fun
This guy who's actually made a beer before. Oh damn it. Damn it. It's home embarrassing
So he's like I miss Madison and I try to ignore it, but it's there and it's glaring
So then it just keeps cutting the awesome like talking to whoever will listen to him, you know about Madison
Yes, I'm girls like so are you over your girlfriend? He's like no, and that's the whole purpose of my trip, you know
It's like where my buds there's this there's supposed to be here for me but there's one
guy over there and one go over there and one go over there I'm like maybe because
Austin they don't want to hang out with you anymore they've been stuck in a
van with you for two days and they're like you know what I want to talk to someone
else who's not gonna talk about Madison and Trap Hop.
Trap Hop so then we go over to Naomi's house and she is cooking and reading a recipe and we see
a tool coming home and it's that the housewife is cooking, see?
I will say Naomi has one of my favorite cookbooks made in India so I was so happy that she had
that because that cookbook is awesome but it looks like she cooked something from the
internet so I don't want anyone to think that her suboptimal butter chicken that she made
is a reflection on the cookbook made in India by Mirasota because it's a really good cookbook
and everyone should get it. What's she using a bag of sauce too? There's all sorts of weird stuff
and my friend Eva, who's Indian, texted me. Eva occasionally, well, texted and I have to relay what she says on the podcast and
Eva basically said that she was horrified, but what was happening.
But I will say, by the way, because you guys know I love good recipe.
If anyone uses cooks illustrated, they actually had a recipe for butter chicken like two months ago and it's really, really,
really good.
So use that one also.
Brian is not even...
No, did.
Yeah, I was listening.
I was just filming up my water.
I was noting in my head.
Those are...
I mean, I have like very serious comments right now.
I'm like, get the cookbook and use this recipe.
Butter chicken.
Or you could do what I do.
Call GrubHub.
Yeah.
Bring some over.
It's delicious and easy.
Do you think there's even Indian food in Charleston?
I mean, remember when we were there and we tried to order Greek food and the shit that
came.
That was not okay.
That was not even, I don't even know what that was.
I don't know what that was.
That was like someone who had seen Greece, okay, but not actually, okay.
This was, it was, that was like the worst time
I've had ever had in my life.
That was disgusting.
That red zone was fucking disgusting.
Fucking disgusting.
Donnie Greek food in Charleston.
So Matul just keeps giving her shit.
You know, he's like, you sure you don't want to call for sushi?
She said, come on, I want to try to do this.
She's like, let me do this, okay.
He's like, okay, but we could just call sushi
He's like, uh, did you read that first line? Oh marinated overnight oops?
Like kind of a key step and she's like I'm gonna use coffee creamers instead of cream he's like
Sushi sushi sushi. I he's like pressing the like the family feud button
Service has sushi sushi
Yeah, and she's like
mature is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me and I know it and I don't want to mess this up
okay because I think he's pretty much the one I mean I don't even say that about me but I
love him don't ever leave I don't like this dynamic I actually don't like that that she said that
either I don't like it now you're the best thing to have yes I don't like it. I don't like the best thing that happens.
Yes, I don't like any girl of mine
going acting like that for a man now.
I can betools, you know, it's like a very nice person,
but I do not like seeing a strong woman
in an emotional wreck because of some fucking guy,
who cares what your man thinks.
Yeah, Naomi, no, no, no, no.
You are the best thing that happened to Matool.
Matool is not the best thing that happened to you.
Okay. Do you not remember that your uncle has a lovely seafood restaurant?
That is the best thing that happened to you. Okay.
Mattoul, Mattoul, you are the best thing that happened to Mattoul.
Do not forget that. I agree with Ron.
I agree. I don't like when girls do that, you know, and then create that dynamic.
And he's not bugging me as much, because I see the obviously he's teasing her
and that's their dynamic.
And you know, speaking in love language to Naomi
is like that, because that was her love language to Craig.
She's like, Craig, you're an idiot.
And that's how she loves, you know?
So I think when she found someone who can actually speak
her love of language to her, it's just like,
she's all a flutter.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
Also, someone who has like an amazing career
track ahead of them. Unlike Craig. I think that also is part of the love language. Yeah, so they finally
taste this food and she's like, I think it's missing something because an Indian person who knows how
to cook. Yeah, and she's like, oh my god, that's so romantic. I think that's a fair scene. He just sang her romantic love song.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So I still like my tool though.
But I want Naomi to have, I want her to have her head on right.
OK, Naomi, whereas you would say in French,
Latette, Ilthocca Latetetra-raizon.
That could be totally wrong.
That was some Thomas Ravenel French, right?
I know, I could not even try the next sentence.
Wow.
Because I was like, it's already gonna be bad grammar.
So I'm not gonna try to do the accent.
Okay, I'm gonna do the Craig version.
Chateau, Dey, Rocha, Berg.
Okay.
So now we go over.
We're in the food.
Chateau, Greek food.
That was the name of the Greek food restaurant.
Greek food.
And that's the thing.
If we were going to get mad at matured
being like, what's missing is an Indian person,
I just feel like I can't say that on the heels
of batching the Greek restaurant in Charleston
where it's like, what's missing is a Greek person.
So anyway, Catherine's house, Chelsea comes over
and she's like, are you upstairs? Are you downstairs? I'm like, I don't think there's anything but upstairs in that place.
There's no such thing as downstairs. Like, you enter it's an MCS.
Are you on the ninth floor or the second floor?
Have you ever heard of a uterus?
Is that a new kind of four, something the Ford uterus?
Is there a lot of up camera on it?
Hey, does that have a dual zone climate control?
The Ford Universe?
I'll need that.
So Catherine is turning into Patricia at this point.
She's not fully into Kaftan, but she's in a Kaftan.
She's in like an almost Kaftan.
Yeah, very swanky.
Almost looked almost retro. And I I loved it by the way.
And she's upstairs on anyone comes over and instead of having a
boutler, she just leaves the door up and so Chelsea comes and
said, where are you?
And then Catherine just comes slowly down the stairs, clinking
because all the jewelry is clinking together.
I'm like, oh my god, she's morphing into Patricia.
It did look a little bit like that climactic scene in Labroth. You know, we're like Jennifer
Connelly's on like one staircase and David Bowie's on another staircase and they're like
chasing each other, you know. There's like a baby floating around somewhere Toby.
So she comes clinking down and she's like, girl, Gucci name look good. And captain is just giving her arm face like. Yeah. So she's like, well, I guess we should just get down to business
vaginas. What do they do? She's not writing for the insane
clown posse. So yeah. So she's like, all right. Now let's get down to business as I
previously just said a second ago
I crags you thought that we were talking about you, but we were only talking about you
Not about you
She's she just she came for me in front of all the girls and that was unfair to me
Yeah, I feel like it wasn't like it's a point
I am your father May the arm be with you.
I don't know.
I mean, I understand that Catherine was embarrassed,
but when she's like in front of all the girls,
it's like a table of six, and they're all close girlfriends.
So I kind of felt like that was a little bit of an excuse,
you know?
I mean, I think she was just like, she was blindsided.
I think she wanted to.
She wanted to. I think she went down with me. Well, maybe, she's like, listen, I just got this bitch on my side and now you're sitting there like, oh my god
You're going off the rails and your personalities completely changed and no no no no no no no no no no no no
You don't need to do that in front of people who aren't really Catherine's friends, you know
Yeah, and I grew up third-hand he doesn't really need to do that and then Naomi jumping in
But then again call call your friends back. I mean, I don't know.
Yeah.
The dumbest fight.
I can't even believe I'm getting into this fight.
It's steeped.
Okay, you have better things to fight about.
Have you guys ever heard of global warming?
Okay.
Life in Chetha for using straws.
Global airmen.
Anything else.
Global airmen.
Yeah.
So basically, you know, but then she like, you know, but then Catherine's at the same
time like, well, her.
She's seen me at all my arms, you know, when I was crazy Catherine, it was pregnant
Catherine.
It was crazy Catherine.
And we just get to see basically a montage of Catherine's greatest hits, which is always
the best.
Yeah.
That time when she was trying to make salmon, and she was like bathing it in her arm,
didn't figure it out.
Hermes.
Yeah.
And so she's like, well, we've been best
friends for six years and I'll make it up to her.
And so she shakes her head and she's wearing these big huge balls on her ears
that are like hitting her in the face.
You know, yeah, it's like that little thing I got from the Philadelphia
science museum when I was a kid with the balls was like,
you know, yes, but it's just her head in the middle.
So arm, arm, arm. I just middle. I'm just counting to seven arms.
The Franklin Institute, by the way,
far be it for me to say the Philadelphia Science Museum.
It's a Franklin Institute.
I know because I know, because you know people are going to be like,
man, it's actually called the Franklin Institute.
I get it. I get it. I walked through the giant heart.
So back up, Patricia's are getting set up and waiters are putting out little
Tartar sauce boots which turns out to be
The staff in the back putting all the dishes together. I was like, she literally got artichoke dishes.
I didn't know what she was talking about
until I actually saw the party and I'm like,
wow, she legit has artichoke dishes.
Yeah, and in fact, when she said I've artichoke dishes,
I thought it was like artichoke themed dishes,
but then as they were eating the artichoke,
I realized there's a little nook for each one
of the leaves to go around.
And I was like, oh my God, that's amazing. I love that. That's so sweet.
We had artichokes the dishes growing up. My mother, I was like, she has an actual artichoke dish.
I have not seen that since I was a kid. I had never even heard of it. And normally I just have
an aside bowl with this giant, unruly like massive leaves that piles up. And this was just so
delicate and sophisticated. I was like, wow.
Well, I just always thought it was like a cheese
and crackers plate and my mom was like trying to be like,
oh look, it's like cheese and crackers,
but it's artichoke, Ronnie, you fat little bastard.
You know, I thought she was,
this is one of those things like it's a healthy substitute.
But no, it's an actual artichoke dish.
I mean, mom, just the thing she realizes in the adult,
I'd like to apologize to my mother our to joke to
our to jokes to
My mother the start of the artichoke to move. I just didn't even know
Yeah, so yeah, but you're just like the theme is an auto joke dinner, which obviously exists like our jokes everywhere
She has I mean it actually looked like the finale of Little Shop of Horses. There are all these little, like, little, like,
Audrey Tewes on the table.
So Madison shows up first, then Naomi, et cetera,
and Patricia's asking Naomi about,
Naomi about her new boyfriend, Matool,
and she's like, the most beautiful people I've ever seen
of any nationality, or Indian, and audit jokes,
because audit jokes are people people too as we've
learned from this ridiculous movement.
Hashtag got choked too.
Have you ever seen an auto-choke try and march in the streets?
Hilarious.
Oh god, I can't wait for a wall season to begin everyone with their auto-choke pins talking
about auto-choke too.
Why can't we just go back to the old days when everything was everything.
Now just don't forget to put on the green ribbon that I've put in front of you in
front of your dishes.
So basically yeah, so then all the girls are super awkward because when the guys come
over to I don't know they they're not a fun they
don't care you know they're not afraid of rain yeah but all the girls are like this woman could
ruin my life yeah so they're there and then there's awkwardness with Danny and Madison because
obviously Madison Madison's friend had sent that thing to Daniel's boyfriend and so there's
like weirdness there so so then everyone's there and then everyone's like so what were hey Chelsea? What were you and Austin talking about for two hours at the pillow party
so yeah, so
They so Chelsea are talking about that about the screenshots, etc
Which then leads to Madison basically saying with with all that screenshot drama that happened
and basically saying with all that screenshot drama that happened, Madison's like, well, it all basically start because Danny,
you had something to say about some transgressions.
And Danny's like, me, me, it's like, yes, you.
I think it all stained-danned from you.
And Naomi's like, yeah, I'm sitting in between these two
and I feel my brain being fried by laser beams.
Like, I'm not fucking with Madison. She's hardcore and I'm not ever gonna fuck with that woman. Okay.
I literally just learned how to make butter chicken properly and her anger laser just singed it out of my brain.
Well, I think that now the people's business which I'm not want to do.
I love Patricia's like silent laugh. Well, nothing at night of people's business, which I'm not want to do.
I love Patricia's just like Simon Locke. She's like, but was this that client of yours
who tried to fix you up with someone Madison,
your little firecracker?
And Danny's like, yeah, it was like the guy I'm dating.
And he told me, and I told Craig,
which of course is a dumbest thing
you could possibly fucking do in life. And then Madison's like I don't think Craig has to blame it shouldn't
have been a conversation. I'm like listen Madison we've been supporting you and we've been on your
side with all these douchebags but you're the one who hit up her boyfriend. She's allowed to talk
about that okay she's allowed you hit up her boyfriend to flirt with to flirt with him while you're
with Austin don't get mad at her if she's with to flirt with him while you're with Austin
Don't get mad her if she's wants to tell someone like look at what this one did, okay? Yeah, welcome to being on a TV show, too, and so Danny's like well come on
It's not like I made it up and she's well, but it was feeling
And she's like well, okay, I knew better than to tell Craig
And I'm sorry, okay, I guess I'm sorry. I'm sorry and she's like, hmm. Yeah.
Danny, not the door mat. Not the door mat apologizing to the woman who hit up her own boyfriend.
She's like, look, all I want is for you to not see welcome, but see welcome upside down because you're in my house now.
Her friends now. And I like that Madison doesn't even take the apology. She's just like yeah, I know I was like excuse me Madison
Excuse me. Don't make it hard for me to support you
Yeah, so then Cameron comes in and it's like where's Catherine? She's late. That is crazy
And so they start gossiping Patricia's like I had you had a ball
So they all start gossiping about who this guy is.
And Danny's like, yeah, he's a politician.
She goes, oh, dear.
Not a politician.
Yeah.
And then they of course started looking up,
like not really a dick picks, but close to dick picks,
because there's that picture of him
where he's in front of a sink.
And it's obscuring his shaft, but you can see the upper like the upper creases and mass is like his pain is looks like a
candle. I'm like, you know, there's like more penis behind the cabinet, right?
Like with the counter, right? Like it keeps going.
Well, because he does that thing because he saves everything down there.
Yeah. They're just showing like his foot bob right above his wee wee.
And he's like, what is that?
It's like people in the South aren't used to guys grooming and making an effort.
I know.
She's like, what is that?
Meanwhile, Patricia puts on her readers and is like, give it back to me right now.
I just is like staring at him.
I mean, my big iPad.
I've seen better candles in my time.
So they're all being, you know, they're all grossed out and Catherine comes over with
Gwyn from Gwyn.
Yeah, she's actually named Madison.
So I was thinking we could call her other Madison, but we should just call her Gwyns
because she's just Gwyns.
Just Gwyns.
Gwyns, she doesn't say anything.
Yeah.
Don't you say something, she's Gwyns.
Yeah.
All she says is like 50% off. It's like okay, Gwins
Brand new items in our art show section
Gwins is like bad news everybody. We're out of artichoke
But we have a wonderful new pineapple division
That's a boy is potty so
That's a boy is potty. So, uh, Catherine's like,
Tammy, do you want to earn for a second?
And Danny's like, um, yeah.
Well, Danny's so uncomfortable.
She's like,
Oh,
I remember when I had a good friend.
Well,
but before that happens though,
uh, when as soon as Catherine comes in,
Patricia's like,
so you have an e-bow,
as if like, like, oh, it's a spontaneous spontaneous thought as if they hadn't just been looking at this
guy as sort of dick pic, like a second ago.
And captain's like, um, yeah, he and I have a parent that broke it up.
He's not who I thought I was, so I see where you guys were coming from.
Yeah, she's like, you were right.
And yeah, Dan, he's like, you were right. And yeah, Danny's like, told you, and told you.
So they go out and have a talk.
And Danny's like, I'm emotionally exhausted.
There, I'm saying it right now.
It's even named money painting.
It's an exterior shot, of course, of a plantation.
But one of the trees looks really sad.
So I guess thanks for that
Yeah, just like I mean what you said to me at the pillow party was
Shocking like why would you go there like you can't go there all the time. Okay, you just can't it's like going to chefs apartment
You just can only go so many times before you develop mold and your lungs, okay?
before you develop mold in your lungs, okay? Yeah.
Uh, Catherine's just like, yeah,
but you brought up shit on the girls' trip,
and I didn't like that,
because it's like baggage that you're just throwing on the table,
and I'm thinking, put the fuck, Danny.
Yeah, and all this stuff,
I'm some prime on the table, not baggage.
Yeah, and it's like,
people are always judging me
because I was someone that,
I was with someone that maybe made,
okay, I definitely made
me a little crazy and then we get a clip of Catherine being crazy yeah and she's
like yeah I mean I did go to rehab for three years and lose my kids so I get
you're worried but come on lighting yeah so everything's fine they're friends
again and then Michael rings like this dinner going. I was like, BAH! DITTER ASSURBS!
And they just both look at each other like jeez.
And she's like, oh god, I hope she doesn't think I'm out here causing drama.
Madison, you're here.
Catherine, you're here.
Cam, you're here.
Gwyn's cut out, lady, tell me about sales.
You're over on, you just sit in the bench in the kitchen.
I don't know who you are.
You go over there.
And all these napkins, they were owned by the Kangabavaria.
And then it was like, they are huge.
And thankfully, if you're a Bravo watcher,
you know why they're huge because you wipe your mouth
and move along and wipe your mouth and move along.
Thank you, Sonya Morgan, for teaching us about that.
I'm at Bravo. You know, teach us a lot of things. We've officially gone through giant napkin school.
Thank you, bro. We are all the more educated. So then Chelsea's like, what's this dip in sauce?
That's when Patricia goes, I out like...
Now nobody here knows how to eat an artichoke, which is weird.
Weird.
Yeah, I was like, what?
First of all, you guys are too old to not have had done this before.
Second of all, it's also really easy, right?
Yeah, but no one has ever had an artichoke.
Maybe it's just, maybe it's not like a southern thing.
I don't know.
I mean, it was a southern thing to us, but I have no idea.
But I was like, wow, not one of those. I just't know. I mean, it was a southern thing to us, but I have no idea what I was like, wow.
Not one of you knows how to eat an orange egg.
I feel like you could literally like,
pick it up and just watch Patricia do it once
and you figure out how to do it.
But you're just like, okay, now only the meat of the tip.
No, you don't have to put the whole thing in your mouth.
No, no, no, don't turn into a bow.
Now, just put an an and pull.
No, don't push.
Don't turn, now, that downturn half queens lady now
all right you just bit your finger off not like that there's like blood going
everywhere but then you what do you do that take it out of your water glass take
it out of your water glass dip it in the a.o. le oh you almost got it now you hit
the table don't comb your hair with it don't comb your hair with no it's not not
to be used for a mustache ch Chelsea. No, take that off.
Now I see you made sunglasses out of two of them. That's very cute. Not how you eat them.
Not how you eat them. Well, she's like so stupid people. You know, it's funny because when I do
the guys dinner party, they're rockin' said, there I say, fun. But you guys are just you're reserved what's what's wrong with you and cameras like you know what?
It's because we're sober. Let's do some shots
Right get shit face. It's like well. What do you want to do? Take Kayla? Yeah, but you're just like sure fine
So they all do shots and paquilla's like paquilla
Patricia's like, ah, Pequilla. But Trisha's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Oh, quite frankly, I always wondered what taking a shot
was like, I prefer a Montigny.
Mm.
So then the Cameron asks Madison if she's done with Austin.
And she's like, well, we're a part.
And Chess is like, yeah, you know what you need?
A real man.
Hey, not real man. You need a real man. Hey, not real man.
You need a real man.
Like, well, I'll have fun with that,
because Madison is immediately going to Austin
and telling him that you said that.
So, have fun with your next fight.
Yeah, so basically, they started saying
that Austin has been manipulated into Shep's lifestyle.
And so, sort of like he's brainwashed.
And Patricia's like, well, you know,
so the man don't grow up and I'm
not including Whitney in this because he's always worked. All the girls just
look at each other like. Yeah everyone just looks at each other for a while.
It tells us like well that is a big deal like is but I've never had the option
not to work and all the girls like me too. I oughta choke to you got wrong.
Sorry, branding.
It started here.
It started here.
Someone called Lissomalano.
I'm gonna listen to Milano.
She's like, I am standing for every artichoke in this country.
Thank you, Alyssa.
Alyssa Milano is like, you know, you're really degrading a very important movement right now.
And you know, at the same time, I actually really support yours too.
So, yeah, who's like gonna be against artichoke too?
I don't know anyone who would be against artichoke too, to be honest.
Artichoke too.
Anything you can dip in better, I think we'll bring this anything that can be married with spinach and cheese.
I'm for it.
Listen, can't be me to our choke.
They have hearts.
Yeah.
So Cameron jumps in to stand up for chef and say, I don't think he meant to hurt you.
With chef, I just think there's something wrong.
There's an underlying issue that he's very, very angry about.
Like, yes, you're right.
Getting old and getting less puse say, you know?
Yeah, because a mass until is in that shop called her
White Trash Air stylist. So mass and goes,
well, maybe you still bitter from when I declined him when I was still married
and obviously I couldn't be with him because you know, I was married.
I was like, oh, everyone's like, oh yeah.
I remember when he started cracking up. And everybody started like cracking up.
And there it is right there.
Madison is so calmly.
Madison just so calmly earning her spot.
The season I love it.
Yeah.
By the way, where was Eliza Limehouse at this dinner?
I really feel like Eliza Limehouse.
They like all the scenes we've been seeing were shot way afterwards,
and they've like been sprinkling them into the season, right?
Don't you get that feeling?
I'm not really sure what's going on with Eliza Lime.
I think that they were like, okay,
that lady has supposed to have attitude
after a near death experience.
She's fired.
Yeah.
Get the white trash hairdresser girl in here.
Yeah, so then Michael serves little finger bowls
and cameras like, Patricia, what's
this? Fingerball, not because we use with ILA.
Just like this is so extra. Well, it has hand-blown Czechoslovakian rose petals at the bottom.
Just because Miss Pat, you are something else.
All right, Chelsea. Take your tongue out of that bowl. It's for your fingers now. Get it out.
No, no, you're not a dog. Chance, like, Chance has better manners than you.
Cameron's like, is shit. I never get married. Can you just divide all this stuff up for us?
And Danny, I saw what if Whitney and Mary's Catherine And it's like, well, I heard rumors to that effect,
but I wouldn't be happy at least it would guarantee me a grand baby. Yeah. Catherine's like,
oh my god, this is awkward. This is really, really awkward. But you see Catherine like counting the
artichoke dishes in her head. She's like, wow, what am I going to do with all these artichoke dishes? No. So now we see Shep go to a store that is really so appropriate for Shep. It's called
Do Little's. And he's, oh, that's a career.
That's autobiography. Yeah. It's his resume, Do Little. So he is still really getting this
dog named Craig. So he goes still really getting this dog named Craig.
So he goes up to the lady working there.
It's just another one of these poor women in Charleston
who has to like endure, ship and Craig in Austin.
And he's like, gosh, I'm getting a dog named Craig.
Oh, I need to get some stuff.
And she's just looking at him.
She's like a little anachendric type.
And she's just looking at him like, this fucking asshole.
He doesn't even remember that he drunkenly hit on me last night
No, we don't have vanilla lattes here. That's a different store with a different woman
Yeah, it is so
Craig and Catherine and Austin meet up for ice cream the gang does that to have some ice cream together?
Wait, before the coffee place before that before that I, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait me money. Oh, I'm so obstinate right now. Was that ornery of me going? Yeah, just more piling on just more
ship piling on to Craig. I thought I needed to be brought to
the pod. Yeah, I just I just stopped typing. I was like, that's
where I'm at with ship scenes. Like, so then we go to Craig
Catherine and Austin and they Austin's like, well, camping
didn't work out that well you know and Craig's like yeah
uh and then Nashville Whitney just shut me right up and he's like yeah like uh he said I didn't know
he didn't know what I was talking about I was like dude like I don't even care about this
little little little little little little little little little little little like they're just basically
bitching about Whitney right yeah and then they bring up that Austin is Austin brings up that Whitney
won't even admit to banging Catherine.
And Catherine's like, Jesus Christ.
Like this is the first time we've heard this.
This has been happening for years.
Yeah, Austin also says,
Shep got very ornery, which is funny,
because Austin, once again,
Austin is just basically taking big words
he heard from like, Shep and Whitney.
Yeah, he's like, God, I'm so sick of those guys
manipulating me or an ornery. They're so obstinate. I'll have a stag
sleep, please.
He, we should also mention that like it's apparently like really cold out and Craig walks in and they're like a polo shirt and they're like, where is your jacket?
Craig, this is ridiculous and Craig's like, oh yeah, I Left it in the car It's like he he like got out of a car and was like cold and he was like oh well can't go back into the car to get the jacket
I guess this is just my fate
I'm gonna freeze today. I'm gonna bury. I'm gonna dig a hole right here, Catherine. You want to join me?
She's like arm Craig we're in the middle of a coffee shop. Okay, I'll be there in a second.
We got lost, erm, so, uh,
onto the table, Huddled. She's like, I don't know, she's like, everyone knows,
I don't know why he needs to deny it, you know? Like, why does everyone have to deny
sleeping with Catherine? That's a question. She's like the youngest hottest one there.
Yeah. Why? And she's very
upfront about it. So it's not even like slut-shaming or anything. It's just like they're just talking
about what happened. Yeah, it's like reverse, it's not reverse slut-shaming. It's like a different
kind of slut-shaming. It's like, it's like slut-denying. It's like it's like slut-denying. Slut-denying.
Slut-denying. Yes. So, yeah, so now Austin's talking about Madison.
And he's talking about how Shep called her,
white trash hair stylist, et cetera,
which, you know, they're like, whoa.
And basically Austin reveals that he hung out
with Madison last night.
Yeah, Craig gets so mad.
He's like, what, what?
But you're broken.
How are you supposed to stay broken up?
Craig.
You're broken up.
Don't hang out.
Like, Craig, I don't know if it's here
and hanging out is here.
Craig, I didn't say we weren't broken up.
OK, I just said we're hanging out, Craig.
It's ridiculous.
You're insane.
You're an insane person right now, Craig.
What's the difference?
Like, why does this have to be so complicated?
He's like, um, why are you making it so complicated Craig?
Which is true. Why does everyone care? Who cares? I've never known guys to care like this. I think that basically Craig
Happened to have just watched the Nancy Myers film. It's complicated the night before is like, oh, so that's what complicated is guys
It's complicated
So that's what complicated is guys. It's complicated
I'm Marl Street so I'm making a chocolate croissant. That was the best part I've ever forget that scene when Marl Street just goes to make a chocolate croissant all night
I mean that's love right yeah such a shitty movie, but great food porn and
I'm gonna tell you that was not a shitty movie
You know what the first time I saw I've actually seen a twice I saw it twice
At the first time I saw it I was like you know what this first time I saw I've actually seen a twice I saw it twice
The first time I saw it I was like you know what this movie was actually really good and it was funny And then the second time I saw it I was like I hate this movie now. It was so weird
I had like it works once and the second time I was like everything is wrong with this movie
Yeah, I don't know why so Craig's like well
Austin's a pussy and that's all I can say and Austin's like what do you want me to say?
I'm mister and I'm disappointed that I let myself be brainwashed
by those guys.
It's like, oh my god.
You're a cheater and an asshole.
Okay, no one brainwashed you into anything.
And I'm not gonna feel anything for you or these guys.
Get, grow a pair.
Yeah, grow a pair.
And that's basically where it ended up
as basically Austin is mad at chef and crag and Danny
for getting it to his head.
And he wants to be his own man and go back to a dysfunctional relationship which is great.
Great.
Looks like the future is bright for him.
So tonight we will be back here doing a Real Housewives of New York finale video.
So come join us for that.
Streaming again.
Thank you for everybody who joined us on our live stream and is watching this on video.
Hi, we appreciate you.
Hi, we can't wait.
Oh my god. I'm so sad.
The season finale of New York tonight.
That is really devastating.
But we will get to it together.
Okay, and the next week is the Independence Day week.
So we are going to be here for a lot of podcasts,
but we won't be doing Southern Charm next week
because that recap would be on the fourth.
And guess what, we're celebrating America.
So instead, we are going to do a full Southern Charm
Nola recap in its place.
So, go watch Southern Charm Nourilins.
If you're not watching it, it's a really fun good show this year.
They're doing a great job.
Yeah, everyone's loving it.
People are super into it.
I mean, including us.
So, yeah, go what you know what?
Or even better, just, excuse me, Mr. Quarter.
Just subscribe to our podcast,
and then you will see the episodes come automatically
to your device, and then you'll see what we're recapping,
and you can watch accordingly.
Yeah, okay everybody, thanks so much for being here.
We'll talk to you next time everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
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