Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Nashville Predators

Episode Date: June 28, 2019

The "Southern Charm" guys head to Nashville to terrorize the local female population while the women back in Charleston gather for a celebration of artichokes at Patricia's house. In the end,... Austen realizes he's been entranced by Shep, which could possibly lead to a reunion with him and Madison. WHO KNOWS?? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay? Kristie Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.
Starting point is 00:00:25 Kristi Wauherty-Dawherty. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trot. Cassie Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. What you talkin' about Willis? It's Sonic Illis. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Megan the Slayer Taylor. In a Homer with Jeffrey Boomer. Kelly Barlow. When she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the bird. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Hot dang!
Starting point is 00:00:57 It's Jessica Dang. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God, I love that banana. Anderson. Avonigila Weber. Lisa Walland. Now that banana. Andreson of a nigela webber. Visa Walent now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betches Betches and our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell Miss Noel. Lulu Simon. Sue Sue Studio. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Always ready for Nicole pass
Starting point is 00:01:20 already. One day your Rachel's in. the next day you're out. Yes we can with Howley, Carolyn and Anne. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto. We grant the grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible, edible Matthews sisters. And... Mina, Kuchikuchikuchiii. Watch what crap ends, watch what crap ends Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens? What happens? I've got a problem with crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's Cartoon, available on YouTube. It's a parody of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's Cartoon. Available on YouTube. It's a parody of the Real Housewares of New York. Go check it out and subscribe. It would mean a lot. And joining me is the hilarious multi-talented, colored church wearing Ronnie Caram of the Rose
Starting point is 00:02:37 Prick's Bachelors podcast. What is going on, Mr. Ronnie? Hi, Ben. Hello, hello. So very exciting. Here we are on the cusp of July. And in case you didn't hear, we have two shows that still have tickets next month in July. Cleveland and Baltimore. Cleveland is on July 25th. My brother's birthday, okay. And then the 27th is Baltimore. You got to come see us there. So get your tickets for those. Those are very selling very nicely at a nice even pace. We don't want you to miss out. And then after July, we have a whole bunch of shows. I'm just gonna list them.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Not gonna do anything more. I'm just gonna list. We got Charlotte, Nashville, Carbureau, which is like Chapel Hill, a research triangle, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, two shows in Chicago, two shows in New York, St. Louis, two shows in Philadelphia, and our final show of the year will be in Seattle, Washington, and guess what, we're even going to have some more shows, but we are going to announce them a little bit later on, maybe in a week or
Starting point is 00:03:41 two. So that's it for the shows, that's the news for the shows, get your tickets, of course tickets are at watchrocrapins.com, that's where you can also get merchandise, lots of fun merchandise up there, we have a DOOOOOOORNNNNNNN to describe that one. Just look at it. It's a really cool T-shirt. Cause we keep saying martini medicine, but if you look at it, you'll see it and you'll get it and you'll want to actually get it. And then right now, this episode of the podcast, not only can you listen to us,
Starting point is 00:04:18 chirp away, you can actually watch us too if you go to crap and zondamand. That's a Patreon feature, www.dydoawebidress again. No patreon.com slash watch what crappens. You can sign up there. Crappens on Demand level. You can watch us do this. Not just listen. And also a new Patreon perk is our Discord channel which is like a giant chat room. You can talk about anything. You can talk about the new Big Brother season. You can talk about the hills. You can talk about food. You can talk about the new big brother season. You can talk about the hills. You can talk about food.
Starting point is 00:04:46 You can talk about Camille Grammer, whatever you want. It's super fun. Already like a nice burgeoning community on there. So that's all the fun stuff. Discord, crap is on the on demand, merchandise, and tickets. I mean, what else could you want? Do it everybody. So yeah, fun times.
Starting point is 00:05:03 And today is Southern charm. Whoa, I'm gonna do Southern charm in a Ramona voice. I don't care that it's Southern charm. I'm already ready for the New York premiere. I'm just gonna use all New York voices. Actually, this is a problem I'm having. You know, Ronnie, we've always talked about how we will just start talking in Ramona voice to people, you know?
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yeah, and people are like, huh? Lately, I've started to talk in Luan voice, people, you know? Yeah. And people are like, huh, lately I've started to talk in the WAN voice, and that's a real problem because people think I'm being a cocky motherfucker. I'm like, oh really? Oh, well, obviously. And people like really, and I'm like, no, no, I'm in character, you know, but people like.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Oh, no. Doesn't work that natural. I just have that natural tone to my voice anyway. So I'm just like one of those Garfield queens You know, it's like not Garfield. What's Stanley the cat? Stanley the cat. Yes, I have that in my personality naturally where I'm like, oh really is that what we're doing today? That one kind of comes natural, but yeah, the Ramona your Ramona gets me in more trouble because it just sounds like I'm having some kind of Like a seizure or something. Yeah, I was in the store it just sounds like I'm having some kind of a
Starting point is 00:06:09 like a seizure or something. Yeah, I was in the store the other day and I'm like, whoa, you have the Croy, it's a crew, Cucumber and and a cucumber and blackberry flavor. Well, never heard that. And they just look at me like the Russian and the Russian liquor stores just looking at me like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah, it's like the time when we had a layover. I think it was in Portland and it was one I was at an airport where we had to actually get off the plane and onto the tarmac to get into the airport and we were like walking on the tarmac and you just went whoa yeah everyone on the tarmac was like what was that? I mean, I got it Rolona sticks with you forever. Oh, and speaking of that tonight. We're doing two we're doing two videos today
Starting point is 00:06:50 This video Southern charm and then tonight we're doing one right after New York at 730 Pacific time So that's our index on demand is the real housewives in York season now. Okay. Yeah, when you recognize it So look so young Yeah, it might get delayed a little bit because I'm also slated to pick up my brand new Subaru, okay? And so I have to head to Glendale, California to pick it up. So I'm hoping they don't like, text me at like six o'clock
Starting point is 00:07:16 and say, guess what, it's here. So just everyone be on high alert, high alert, Subaru alert, okay? We're on orange band picking up his car alert. Okay, so let's get into some southern charm. Well, speaking of very sensible sedans, let's look at these guys. It's morning in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee and we hear all this bucolic music. I forget what the piece is, but it's like that famous classical piece that's like ten. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I would totally go see like a corral performance of garses and arms. Gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars, gars Did you notice we had a new animal mascot on southern charm on for Bravo today? No, what was it?
Starting point is 00:08:29 It was a little crawfish walking amongst the leaves. Oh, yeah, I did see that. I thought it was a roach at first, didn't you? Crawfish have roach tails. That's what I learned on southern charm. Well, they have lost their tail. Lobster tails, not roach, they don't have roach tails. They don't have roach tails. They look like a roach. No, I mean, just because they're called mudbugs, just means they got bed, branding, okay?
Starting point is 00:08:51 It's a crawfish or a slide called a crawdaddy. I like how in the very beginning when they were showing the previously they're trying to make it sound like the most dramatic season ever. They were remixing the music to be like, Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, It's like, Dilpa, so much salt on the food, bro. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, you're mean. No, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, the boys call out, call out. Craig threw a paper plate at Whitney.
Starting point is 00:09:23 Oh, no! Oh, that paper plate is the new Ashley. I'm sorry, I manipulated you into throwing a paper plate at Whitney. Who's a boy? So yeah, car, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars, scars So we're just smoky mountains campground and the music is interrupted by Whitney using his electric teeth brush Now if I'm not allowed to litter anymore then why is Whitney allowed to spit his toothpaste into the river? I'm calling Peter! Yeah, I don't think he should be allowed to have an electric toothbrush while camping It was like when I was um when I was like 18 and I went to college so before orientation My school like pretty much made everyone go on these camping trips and
Starting point is 00:10:08 they were like, it's camping. So like, don't bring deodorant. Don't do this or that. It's like, okay, I'm a beat. Yeah, they were like, they just for some reason they explicitly said, don't bring deodorant. I don't know why. So I was like, I'm a beatian. I'll follow the rules.
Starting point is 00:10:21 So I didn't bring deodorant and then everyone else did. So I was like the smelly kid on the camping trip Okay, so I'm resentful people would bring their amenities and then I'm the one who looks bad I'm like I'm angry at Whitney now. I'm like I'm like well fine. I haven't brushed my teeth yet. Okay fine now. I know I feel bad Yeah, I don't agree with me too. Yeah for those kids being mean to you so It looks like a typical day after shooting. There's just you know alcohol bottles littering the littering the capsides. Terrible. And they have to get up and go to Nashville for the next part of their trip.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Garsh. Time. We were just really arguing and you were mowing at this whole episode, aren't we? Get up bro. Time's wasting. Garsh. Yeah and, and steps doing that abusive husband thing on lifetime where like last night He was running through the house chasing you with scissors and you're about to die and then the next morning You wake up and he's like hi honey cars would you like some breakfast? It's like get out of here gars low. Okay. You rob low gars gars There's a lot of here with your abusive ass. Garst, you're in Matheson. So, Meredith Garst, you're in the
Starting point is 00:11:29 Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the
Starting point is 00:11:37 Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the Bernie Garst, you're in the guess he'd been in there all night and everyone's like you're okay Craig. How you doing Craig? He's like
Starting point is 00:11:49 You guys pissed me off a really bad last night. I was like wow Not even this archaic device can live my moods right now I'm sorry Garseus call it truce. Do you want some scrambled garsh? And so he feeds Craig and Austin's like, uh, yeah, I've seen this before. It's called fucking abuse, okay? Someone's a meme to you and then they're nice to you the next day and tries to do something for you. I'm like, yes, Austin, you're correct, but you're also contributing to the problem. So I don't want to hear it from you. The only problem you have, the only reason you have a problem with this today is because it's aimed at you. Yeah, maybe if you had a job, you wouldn't even be in the situation in the first place.
Starting point is 00:12:28 So Shep is like, good job, good job. So Shep is, he's making scrambled eggs on this plate. That's like over a flame. It's like a, it's some sort of contraption. It can't make things. He's like, gosh, I like this tool. It's like Austin, a useful tool. Gosh, gosh, gosh. I'm like, gosh, you're giving Austin way too much credit. I'm not sure about the usefulness So then they're like how long they take to get to Nashville four hours. Oh my god I'm just imagining a ship going into flight of the mumble bee. Gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh both try to get through it. We try to get through it. By the way, anybody is still listening to this recap today. Thanks, I can't believe it. You're a strong constitution that you're still
Starting point is 00:13:34 sitting there listening to this bullshit. OK, good job. So anyway, we now go over to the OBGYN with Chelsea and Danny. It's also the name of their morning show, OBGYN with Chelsea and Danny. It's also the name of their morning show OBGYN with Chelsea and Danny Stick face and Chelsea. So we got on the OBGYN and Chelsea's like, hi girl Hi, look at these pictures of babies on the wall. You want more of those? And Danny's like my mom's making me
Starting point is 00:14:02 Trying to make her stink face the only side of my mom's making me trying to make her stink face. I yeah, she's like basically, she says that she wanted to do this. She wanted it like freeze her eggs and do it with like, she wanted to bring her really close friend with her. But you know, since she and Catherine are fighting right now, she's like, it's gotta be Chelsea and she just can't believe this is the situation she's in like she never thought she'd be frizzing her eggs without Catherine with her. I know I haven't spoken to her since the pillow party so glad to have a good friend here.
Starting point is 00:14:31 God you should be friends with my friends Danny would be a fucking nervous wreck okay she'd be putting a mental hospital if she hung out with my friends for a day we're like hey fatty hey stupid alright good to see you daddy be like I'm also like desperate for this cast to have another party so that way they can stop constantly referring to the pillow party Well, I haven't done this is the pillow party Most dramatic season ever I haven't eaten a bugle since the since the pillow party So Danny's like yeah, she really hurt my feelings and Chelsea's like, uh, like get over it. Chelsea has
Starting point is 00:15:09 get over it face. Yeah, she does. And then Danny's like, you know, I'm not her dormant. I'm just not now, excuse me, I'm gonna lie down on the floor if you feel like stepping on me, you may, you may. Your feet do look dirty, though, and I don't want you having my freezing eggs day with 30 feet, just go ahead, wipe my mobs. It's fine. I actually enjoy providing the surface for you I guess. So we go into the doctor's office and Danny's just staring at one of those pictures of I don't know the insides of a lady. And I have to say I'm very proud of the women of Southern Charm
Starting point is 00:15:40 for being as ignorant about women's the women's bodies as men Because Chelsea's like what is that? It's like I think that's a map of the greater Charleston area Is that the Rapunzel bridge? I think it's a fallopian tube. Oh, we actually have a tube here That was like yeah, she they don't know what it is and Chelsea's just staring at it sideways Yeah, she didn't know what it is. And Chelsea's just staring at it sideways. It's like, that's a uterus. I don't know nothing about this stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:10 So the doctor comes in wiping her hands, which I really don't like because this suggests that the doctor just put some of that like anti-bacterial, anti-bacterial gel, and she's coming in with that. I don't like that. Anti-bacterial gel, I've told my meanwhile that. I don't like that. Anti-bacterial gel. I've told my Mimaw this a million times and no one listens to me We'll cause the next super virus, okay? And when the next super virus is called Mimaw You know why because she uses it every five seconds and I'm convinced she's gonna kill the entire world
Starting point is 00:16:38 Yeah, I'm a huge hyperchondriac and shockingly I'm not into the into the anti-bacteria gel thing because I also feel like you got to like I don't know Like first of all I think that not when it comes to that stuff like we're by and large Okay, however when it comes to doctors I'm pretty down for doctors Cleat washing their hands before they see me because I don't know what they just saw washing your hands Yeah, washing your hands, but not doing the antibacterial stuff Okay, like when this world turns into Apocalypse Mima, you'll know I'm right. Apocalypse Mima.
Starting point is 00:17:08 Whatever. Until then, just keep hiring doctors. You said antibacterial instead of washing your hands. Go ahead. What do I care? I look young. Whenever I see antibacterial things like those automatic dispensers, it always takes me back to 2010 when I went to the club met in Port St. Lucie. And there was like a giant antibacterial thing in the cafeteria. And you'd have to walk in and stop there, and I just hated it. And I was like, I don't wanna, it was weird. I didn't wanna put it on before I,
Starting point is 00:17:33 this weird Johnson and Johnson's chemically smelling thing right before I eat my tater tots. Yeah. So, Danny's like, I wanted to learn more about freezing my eggs. And Chelsea's still over there, like, trying to, like, figure out what the uterus model is, you know, like- Ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh,
Starting point is 00:17:56 freezing eggs. Chef just texted me to say you could actually scramble them over a useful tool called Austin. Isn't that cool? God. I almost got my eggs tool called Austin. Isn't that cool? God. I almost got my excramiled over Austin. Fee you! Crasse subordinate of my rod. So yeah, this doctor comes in.
Starting point is 00:18:12 She's like, well, basically we'll give you hormones for a 10 to 14 days, which by the way does not seem like a crazy window to me. I thought it was going to be like three months. And then she's like, it's for 10 to 14 days, and then we're going to harvest your eggs, and there's like pretty much no guarantee you'll get anything out of it. So you want to do it? I know sounds fun doc. Thanks for the hard sell She's like, hey listen, I'm sure you've got plenty eggs. You're not too old to have eggs The problem is that they're probably all discussed in old and crippled
Starting point is 00:18:38 Okay, I can see your eggs limp in you want to free you're gonna need to freeze a lot of those eggs Listen, I'm sure you have tons of eggs. The question is, do you have as many people lined up to buy your art? Just saying, I've seen it online, I've seen it online. Every egg is a customer unrealized. What was it? So then over in Nashville, the guys arrive.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And by the way, and this is really not a plug for our show, but watching them in Nashville got me so excited to go back Because we had such a fun time there last time so when I was there I was like oh my god, I can't wait to go and I I'm this time I want to Follow this footsteps of chef and Craig in Austin and see just how douchey their night out was, you know so they they go to a hotel called the fair lane and they get the pen and sweet and it's nice. Yeah and Craig's like dude look at this tear.
Starting point is 00:19:35 We got to bring people here. And I'm just terrified. You know that's what that's why I never want to stay in sweets like that because you're just laying on dried douche Spurmed ejaculate. Yeah, you just know you are it's gross I don't want to think whoever goes to that. I mean, I know that the fair lane thinks if they're getting this great free Advertising up. We're not free but advertising on Bravo by giving them this sweet. No, you're not like I don't ever ever Want to be in that room ever? Okay. Yeah, now this is when you need the antibacterial
Starting point is 00:20:03 Yeah, I mean talk about frozen sperm it's everywhere so yeah chef is like gosh if Austin can't get a girl back to this amazing sweet then Austin we have a problem gosh gosh gosh gosh gosh because you know Austin works in both Austin works in both situations. Works in both situations. Gosh. Gosh, it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.
Starting point is 00:20:43 But come on. Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?
Starting point is 00:21:15 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then they, uh, they're getting ready and grooming and, um, SEP gives himself a go-t. Looks terrible.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Uh, but it's so him. It looks like it's part of him, you know, it's like that guy Fieri look. It's so him. I just need him to wear like a sun visor backwards, you know, or do whatever diners drive in some that show just keeps coming up by the way this year. Yeah, it's this week, but blame chef, okay, with his go to yeah, I feel like chef is the one who's watching all those generic food network competitions that all look exactly the same. People lined up in weird lighting in front of a brick sort of wall gulping
Starting point is 00:22:09 because they were afraid they're gonna get eliminated because they didn't make a cracker in the right shape. So, yeah, so chef has his goatee and he's all proud of it. And so, he's like standing in like the living room area of the suite and Craig comes out first. And he's like, oh, it's like standing in like the living room area of the suite and Craig comes out first and He's like, oh, it's like trying to show it off and Craig's like he's like, I shaved and Craig's like, oh They like look since he's the go-teaming. He's like, oh, I didn't even realize it And she's like, what do you mean he didn't even realize it? How could you not see my flesh-colored go-tie?
Starting point is 00:22:42 gosh Yeah, he does have a flesh-colored go-tie. same color as the skin so nobody can tell and then Austin's like Why are you moving your head like that bro? And she's like my shave gosh, he's like, yeah, I guess when in Rome, right? Poor Austin though, he didn't have as much luck. I think he saw me. to shave an unique himself he's like oh god damn it so Austin's like so Madison just sent me a text and it's a picture of her looking hot as fuck and he ready to go out what is that supposed to mean what is the purpose of that and Craig's like she's evil and that's what evil people do you know Hitler was totally known for sending shots of
Starting point is 00:23:27 himself in a speed out to world leaders it's just how evil people were yeah didn't you hear about when you sent that dick pick to Winston Churchill evil and sets like a course okay just tell her things but there's 500 girls right outside my door and all of them are hotter than you. White trash, white trash, hair dressing, snot face. 500 girls that are better looking than you outside my window. What, like, could you, Matt, I mean, what? That's so sharp. I love that. Shep thinks in internet comments, you know, it's like he can't come up with something intelligent to say so it's like you're ugly Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:24:10 Yeah, I mean it's like for someone who like prides himself on having class and being a gentleman like that. That's the response It's just like if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all. Okay, so No, I just say don't say it all, okay? So, uh, Matt Garsh. Oh, so, uh, Austin's like, Chef, come on, leave her alone, you know, like, I don't want to just do that to her and her to feelings.
Starting point is 00:24:35 He's like, what, you don't want to do what hook up because she was doing that while she was dating you. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Why are these guys so obsessed with Madison? Do you really think that they're doing what the girls you suit? Remember when, patron, what was her name?
Starting point is 00:24:52 I'm obsessed with Patreon too. The girl from last year who dressed like a unicorn, they were really meeting, oh yeah, her. When the girls were like, fuck that girl trying to come on our show and Naomi's like, she's thirsty. Yeah. Do you think they're doing that with Madison? Like they that girl trying to come on our show. And Naomi's like, she's thirsty. Yeah. Do you think they're doing that with Madison?
Starting point is 00:25:06 Like they're just trying to protect their show from new cast members or what? There might be. There might be something like that. I mean, later on, we also get a much better insight into why Shep might be doing what he's doing. But there could be something like that. It is weird.
Starting point is 00:25:20 It's one thing to be like, oh, I didn't like that she went and had revenge sex. I thought that was like not cool, but this is really like above and beyond. Okay, like a very much above and beyond. Yeah, they're going over the top for sure. Not that Madison is innocent by any means. I mean, she's a firecracker, but she is like, but like this is like the punishment does not meet the crime.
Starting point is 00:25:43 So now the guys go out to the restaurant in the hotel and they they're sitting there picking out wines And it's like oh, I think we should get two bottles right and then like or I guess Craig suggests that and then it becomes this weird thing We're Whitney and chef are gonna pick one bottle and Craig and Austin pick another bottle So it's like this weird little like bottle feud happening and so Shep is like rich bottle poor bottle. And so, uh, Chef is like- Rich bottle, poor bottle. Yeah, so Chef is like, actually, Stag's leap is pretty good, the cab. And then Craig just looks at him and goes,
Starting point is 00:26:13 really, you're gonna go with that. Okay, and then Chef- I mean, I've had that before, bud. Chef gives him such an angry look when all that Craig was doing was basically everything that Chef was doing to Craig the night before You know Yeah, but it's like Craig. I love what Craig tries to retain that he's rich too. Yeah
Starting point is 00:26:34 It's like us dag sleeve now in Craig's defense I don't remember stag sleep being a fancy bottle of wine either. Why is it a hundred something dollars? That's nice. Well, maybe it was like a certain vintage I don't know or maybe their prices went up because they've st stacked leap was one of the wineries that I think burned down in the napafire Right right? Gosh, I don't know. I think so. I know. They're making the pressing damn thing. I know. Sorry, but I mean, but they're but they're but their bottles are not a hundred Why remember I went wine tasting? This one time when I was a little girl I went wine tasting in Napa Valley
Starting point is 00:27:04 And I went to Staggs leap with my parents The wine is very affordable. Okay That's true. It's a affordable wine. I get it must have just been like a dance bottle Yeah, but it was like super fancy at this restaurant and Craig's like really and then Whitney goes Went to get with a Craig become an owner file. And I had to totally look that up, so I was like an UNO file, such as someone who loves UNO.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Well, I'm sure Craig is that too. Wild card. I fancy myself not so much an on a file, but a mom of file mother Get the stags leap with me just fuck with them Patricia's just stuck in with these head So yeah, so then Craig is like we'll get that Rock a moron like oh the shadow the world was more than yeah
Starting point is 00:28:14 Day rocha moron, please and so the rich kids are like laughing at him and she's like oh It's a regular summer. Yeah over there And then when he's like they're trying their wine It's better than their wine mother It's better than their watch I'm like how about you guys just all get some time and like some Charles Shaw, okay? And just call it a night. Yeah, and Austin's like, well, you guys have a few more years on us to learn about wines, I guess, and to spend more money on wine. And Whitney's like, yeah, we earned it.
Starting point is 00:28:41 She knew what my mother had to do for this bottle of wine. We earned this bottle of wine. It's like darn right Older statesman gorsh So then we come from a long line of other people earning money We come from a long line of an eroding things. So Craig is like I'm not sure you earned it She up goes Craig Quit acting so obstinate! Where are you being so ornery, bro?
Starting point is 00:29:09 Are you being so ornery? So ornery. Oh, so obstinate all the time. It's just like his attitude is infectious and insidious, gosh! And Whitney's basically like, okay guys, since I'm sitting here making millions of dollars, I'm making you guys look stupid for my television show. I'll pay for dinner.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Yeah, get whatever you want, I'm gonna kill her. I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna put down the knife, Patricia. I said, okay, sorry mother. Sorry. So, yeah, so now they start talking about Catherine and how they're just read online that Catherine filed documents
Starting point is 00:29:44 for full custody of her children and then Thomas Ravenel filed a counterclaim, etc. Which is probably why like she's been more emotional than usual. So Craig turns to Whitney and he's like, um, so you were hanging out with Catherine this summer, a.k.a. having sex with her apparently so was she like happy and bubbly then you know you're having sex having sex with her she bubbly was it bubble sex it's sexy bubble sex was she happy was she smiling you had glasses on right see if she was smiling crack crack I'm not a cracker. I'm a cracker. It's like, what are you talking about? And he's like, what?
Starting point is 00:30:28 Like, everybody knows the summer when you were hooking up, banging, doing it, playing pipe, you know? And he's like, hey, she just told me you were hooking up the other day and Austin's like, just to admit you made Catherine. And she's like, whatever happened is none of your business. Oh, like, your whole plot this here is someone else's sex life. When you talking, yeah, suddenly there's a boundary for a chat, please.
Starting point is 00:30:51 So then the wine lady comes and she's, she's like a Simpson's character. She's just all craggly in the corner with the bottle of wine. Like, yeah, opening this bottle of wine. And she's chefs like that's not your business and Craig's like well then he should know hooked up But they're then chefs like you go fuck whoever you want I think Craig's like well your brains work differently than mine chefs like your content right dude He's getting a winery. He's getting a winner over right dude. He's getting watery. He's getting
Starting point is 00:31:26 watery over that one. He's obstinate. That's what I'll tell you. And obstinate. Craig goes, you just don't see things the way I do. And chef goes, yeah, I'm smart. And then the music goes, the rattle like, They're riding like who big fight? So they go Craig's like you had to go outside Austin because those guys are being pornaries. It's like just not even a word Craig. They're so blossom it Craig no, I literally just had to work for you So Austin's like caught you know like being close quarters with those guys, like Chef just thinks like he's better than everyone else, you know, and everyone else is lower than him.
Starting point is 00:32:11 It's like crazy. What's up with that? Yeah. It's almost as if he owns, he has a lot, a lot, a lot of money and a trust fund and all that stuff. And you have none of it, Austin. It's almost just like that. Yeah. Similar. Although I don't feel like Austin should be acting like he's so poor either
Starting point is 00:32:28 I mean his parents have invested a lot of money. Yeah they're all rich. I'm sick of all them pretending like oh god we come from the wrong side of the tracks. Yeah. My father builds. Yeah. So then Whitney back inside the guy, they're both groups of guys are talking about each other and Whitney is like, what's up with Craig? He's got this sense of entitlement means crazy. Yeah, I didn't entitlement does Craig have except for the entitlement that comes with thinking you can sleep into 11.30 a.m. and still be a lawyer, you know and she's like he has no class not one zero Hey Austin, don't forget to tell a man and they're
Starting point is 00:33:05 500 girls outside your window who are hotter than she is Garsh Yeah, and when she talks about having no class He's like sit leaning back in his seat with his armpits out and his hands behind his head He's a guy that's classless. Yeah, with his go-t Yeah, it's yeah with this guy for your e-look. Yeah, and he's like he's called an assistant that does nothing I'm like excuse you that assistant does a lot Seeing a Craig pillow before she didn't how did you eat chicken nuggets at Craig's house?
Starting point is 00:33:33 She did it. Give Anna Hayward some love. Please. I mean do you think the box of beef jerky just walks its way inside the house? No, it does not So Whitney's like, humanity, right now, because we got to do something on this trip, like we're literally doing nothing. So it's like, gosh, she's just are just a mad at you know what I mean? Like, you know, you go to a bar without crack, no girls, you go to a bar with crack, there's girls everywhere. So, you know, you got to be, he's got to
Starting point is 00:34:02 be nicer to me because I'm richer and I've got to be nicer to him because he's hotter Yeah, it's basically how I think this relationship works Yeah, and then it like then there's like this weird toast with Winnien Craig being like oh Well, we sort of get up into each other's business and they're hot talks eat each other so cheers Craig cheers It's like what? Chris, I thanks Yeah, so he's like thanks for dinner and he's like, well, sorry, you know, Craig, you know, sometimes
Starting point is 00:34:27 we got hard at each other and he's like, yeah, like, sometimes we throw hot dogs at each other's head and get hot dog juice on each other's eye glasses. And Whitney's like, and that too. That too. Whitney's so mad. Yeah, he's like, don't remind me about my Warby Parker's. Yeah. So, now we go over to Patricia, Miss Patricia, who's hanging out in her library,
Starting point is 00:34:45 and she's sitting there, and she rings the bell for Michael to come on in, and she's like, Michael, Luke, Radclad, and antique shop. It's a little French bonnet for Chancet. It's like this antique, probably for like a dollar or something, but she has the plan is to put it on Choncy the pug. I just love the activities that happen in this household. You know, it's like weird arts and craft dress up, you know. I don't think this is gonna work for Chon. Sam, now let's talk about my fabulous dinner I'm gonna throw. You know the new dish where I got Fabulous dinner. I'm gonna throw you know the new dish where I got the auto choke Autochoke set. I got from autochokes. Our clearance sale going out of business for all your autochoke needs plates
Starting point is 00:35:35 dishes Glasses got everything I need over it choke lots Everything I needed that Gwyn's auto choke division Everything I needed at Gwyn's auto choke division. Gwyn's. Gwyn just sells everything in town. Yeah, auto choke plates, auto choke bibs, auto choke table mats. I mean, Patricia better come out with an auto-captain after this episode. Just auto-chokes. Which actually I think would be kind of chic. Yeah. She's like, well, I think I'm going to change the guy's dinner party I normally do
Starting point is 00:36:03 since they're all in jail now She's got got to change the seating arrangement Well, I decided it's the me to move me and I should probably get with the program. So make it a girl's dinner The me to move it. I love that by the time the me to movement gets all the way to Charleston Nobody even knows what it is anymore It's like oh this movement about women not having the same amount of dinner parties is men It's time to put a stop to that Well, I've heard there's been some inequality in the workplace about who gets autochokes
Starting point is 00:36:39 So uh, Tom's up. Ladies get the autochokes now If only Harvey Weinstein had taken some of them girls who had been a part of it. And it is what happened. I called up Georgia Mossbucker from Poland's Embassy, and I said, you have to get back here for an auto-choke, because it's for the auto-choke to move, Mitch. So get back here.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Auto-ch choke, Steve. And how do you think sweet potatoes feel? Like she's like totally out of town. We don't care about sweet potatoes. They've had their moments. Auto choke, too. Auto choke. So she's like, all right, well, I haven't come up with anything
Starting point is 00:37:23 other than an auto choke idea, but there's always tomorrow. He's like, oh, man, I think Miss Scarlett might have said that once. She's like, I think you might be right. Now get this ridiculous dog out of my face, Michael. Auto ch jokes too. So then we go over to the guys in a bar. What were you expecting? The guys in the library? It's like the beginning of every guy I've seen. Guys in a bar.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Guys in a bar. So yeah, so Shep and Austin are talking to different girls and Shep is like, they're all just talking to girls. There's all a million girls flock around them So chef is like oh gosh Whitney talking about my balcony at the fair lane It's perfect to push someone off it. I mean make out with someone on it Yeah, he and Austin are walking around like yeah, we have a penthouse Yeah, and Whitney's like I don't want to do shots mother
Starting point is 00:38:24 Do it with me. No, mother, please do it choke yourself with a penthouse. Yeah, and Whitney's like, I don't want to do shots, my therapist. Do it with me. No, my therapist, please do it. Choke yourself with a shot with me. He's like, that's disgusting. He don't look so yeah, everybody that Austin goes up to apparently, Chef goes right up behind him to, you know, get the after ass, which is totally a chef move, you know. Yeah, exactly. And, and by the way, I do love the juxtaposition of Patricia talking about me to and female empowerment and then immediately Switching over to these guys like being like come to our penthouse come to our penthouse Come to our penthouse which sounds so sketchy and sounds like it'll lead to something really bad We have a penthouse you want to come up in our edition for our new film?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Yeah, please drink any beverage that does not, that's in a glass. Yes, please. Yeah, welcome up, me too, me too. Everyone, we're supporting the me too. Like nobody can get it on this show. Can I bring this artichoke? No, I'm sorry. See, there is a reason for it.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Artichoke too. So, so basically, Chef is fully cock-blocking Austin, like's fully cocked blocking Austin, like just going up to every girl, like Austin's with some girl and and she plays golf. So then she goes in and starts talking about golf and the hook and all this stuff. And Austin's like, oh, she I think Craig needs to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:39:37 And she of course doesn't listen. So now Austin's just like pissed. Cause this but the is pretty is also yeah, he's pissed, but he was never really after any of those girls to hook up anyway. He just wanted someone to listen to him. So he goes up to this couple of girls, and he's like, have you ever had those days where you love someone
Starting point is 00:39:56 so much that all you can think about is what they're doing? I'm like, where are they? How could you send me that picture? What do you think it's mean? So when someone sends you a selfie of them looking up for they go out But yes, it's supposed to mean. They're like are you speaking Japanese? What is your mouth keep moving? He's like, I mean, I just had this one girl who I just can't get out of my head
Starting point is 00:40:13 I mean am I helpless or hopeless and this girl goes okay? Well, this has been fun This guy who's actually made a beer before. Oh damn it. Damn it. It's home embarrassing So he's like I miss Madison and I try to ignore it, but it's there and it's glaring So then it just keeps cutting the awesome like talking to whoever will listen to him, you know about Madison Yes, I'm girls like so are you over your girlfriend? He's like no, and that's the whole purpose of my trip, you know It's like where my buds there's this there's supposed to be here for me but there's one guy over there and one go over there and one go over there I'm like maybe because Austin they don't want to hang out with you anymore they've been stuck in a
Starting point is 00:40:53 van with you for two days and they're like you know what I want to talk to someone else who's not gonna talk about Madison and Trap Hop. Trap Hop so then we go over to Naomi's house and she is cooking and reading a recipe and we see a tool coming home and it's that the housewife is cooking, see? I will say Naomi has one of my favorite cookbooks made in India so I was so happy that she had that because that cookbook is awesome but it looks like she cooked something from the internet so I don't want anyone to think that her suboptimal butter chicken that she made is a reflection on the cookbook made in India by Mirasota because it's a really good cookbook
Starting point is 00:41:35 and everyone should get it. What's she using a bag of sauce too? There's all sorts of weird stuff and my friend Eva, who's Indian, texted me. Eva occasionally, well, texted and I have to relay what she says on the podcast and Eva basically said that she was horrified, but what was happening. But I will say, by the way, because you guys know I love good recipe. If anyone uses cooks illustrated, they actually had a recipe for butter chicken like two months ago and it's really, really, really good. So use that one also. Brian is not even...
Starting point is 00:42:11 No, did. Yeah, I was listening. I was just filming up my water. I was noting in my head. Those are... I mean, I have like very serious comments right now. I'm like, get the cookbook and use this recipe. Butter chicken.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Or you could do what I do. Call GrubHub. Yeah. Bring some over. It's delicious and easy. Do you think there's even Indian food in Charleston? I mean, remember when we were there and we tried to order Greek food and the shit that came.
Starting point is 00:42:35 That was not okay. That was not even, I don't even know what that was. I don't know what that was. That was like someone who had seen Greece, okay, but not actually, okay. This was, it was, that was like the worst time I've had ever had in my life. That was disgusting. That red zone was fucking disgusting.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Fucking disgusting. Donnie Greek food in Charleston. So Matul just keeps giving her shit. You know, he's like, you sure you don't want to call for sushi? She said, come on, I want to try to do this. She's like, let me do this, okay. He's like, okay, but we could just call sushi He's like, uh, did you read that first line? Oh marinated overnight oops?
Starting point is 00:43:11 Like kind of a key step and she's like I'm gonna use coffee creamers instead of cream he's like Sushi sushi sushi. I he's like pressing the like the family feud button Service has sushi sushi Yeah, and she's like mature is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me and I know it and I don't want to mess this up okay because I think he's pretty much the one I mean I don't even say that about me but I love him don't ever leave I don't like this dynamic I actually don't like that that she said that either I don't like it now you're the best thing to have yes I don't like it. I don't like the best thing that happens.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Yes, I don't like any girl of mine going acting like that for a man now. I can betools, you know, it's like a very nice person, but I do not like seeing a strong woman in an emotional wreck because of some fucking guy, who cares what your man thinks. Yeah, Naomi, no, no, no, no. You are the best thing that happened to Matool.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Matool is not the best thing that happened to you. Okay. Do you not remember that your uncle has a lovely seafood restaurant? That is the best thing that happened to you. Okay. Mattoul, Mattoul, you are the best thing that happened to Mattoul. Do not forget that. I agree with Ron. I agree. I don't like when girls do that, you know, and then create that dynamic. And he's not bugging me as much, because I see the obviously he's teasing her and that's their dynamic.
Starting point is 00:44:27 And you know, speaking in love language to Naomi is like that, because that was her love language to Craig. She's like, Craig, you're an idiot. And that's how she loves, you know? So I think when she found someone who can actually speak her love of language to her, it's just like, she's all a flutter. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:42 But I don't know. Also, someone who has like an amazing career track ahead of them. Unlike Craig. I think that also is part of the love language. Yeah, so they finally taste this food and she's like, I think it's missing something because an Indian person who knows how to cook. Yeah, and she's like, oh my god, that's so romantic. I think that's a fair scene. He just sang her romantic love song. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So I still like my tool though.
Starting point is 00:45:12 But I want Naomi to have, I want her to have her head on right. OK, Naomi, whereas you would say in French, Latette, Ilthocca Latetetra-raizon. That could be totally wrong. That was some Thomas Ravenel French, right? I know, I could not even try the next sentence. Wow. Because I was like, it's already gonna be bad grammar.
Starting point is 00:45:33 So I'm not gonna try to do the accent. Okay, I'm gonna do the Craig version. Chateau, Dey, Rocha, Berg. Okay. So now we go over. We're in the food. Chateau, Greek food. That was the name of the Greek food restaurant.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Greek food. And that's the thing. If we were going to get mad at matured being like, what's missing is an Indian person, I just feel like I can't say that on the heels of batching the Greek restaurant in Charleston where it's like, what's missing is a Greek person. So anyway, Catherine's house, Chelsea comes over
Starting point is 00:46:03 and she's like, are you upstairs? Are you downstairs? I'm like, I don't think there's anything but upstairs in that place. There's no such thing as downstairs. Like, you enter it's an MCS. Are you on the ninth floor or the second floor? Have you ever heard of a uterus? Is that a new kind of four, something the Ford uterus? Is there a lot of up camera on it? Hey, does that have a dual zone climate control? The Ford Universe?
Starting point is 00:46:31 I'll need that. So Catherine is turning into Patricia at this point. She's not fully into Kaftan, but she's in a Kaftan. She's in like an almost Kaftan. Yeah, very swanky. Almost looked almost retro. And I I loved it by the way. And she's upstairs on anyone comes over and instead of having a boutler, she just leaves the door up and so Chelsea comes and
Starting point is 00:46:53 said, where are you? And then Catherine just comes slowly down the stairs, clinking because all the jewelry is clinking together. I'm like, oh my god, she's morphing into Patricia. It did look a little bit like that climactic scene in Labroth. You know, we're like Jennifer Connelly's on like one staircase and David Bowie's on another staircase and they're like chasing each other, you know. There's like a baby floating around somewhere Toby. So she comes clinking down and she's like, girl, Gucci name look good. And captain is just giving her arm face like. Yeah. So she's like, well, I guess we should just get down to business
Starting point is 00:47:31 vaginas. What do they do? She's not writing for the insane clown posse. So yeah. So she's like, all right. Now let's get down to business as I previously just said a second ago I crags you thought that we were talking about you, but we were only talking about you Not about you She's she just she came for me in front of all the girls and that was unfair to me Yeah, I feel like it wasn't like it's a point I am your father May the arm be with you.
Starting point is 00:48:27 I don't know. I mean, I understand that Catherine was embarrassed, but when she's like in front of all the girls, it's like a table of six, and they're all close girlfriends. So I kind of felt like that was a little bit of an excuse, you know? I mean, I think she was just like, she was blindsided. I think she wanted to.
Starting point is 00:48:44 She wanted to. I think she went down with me. Well, maybe, she's like, listen, I just got this bitch on my side and now you're sitting there like, oh my god You're going off the rails and your personalities completely changed and no no no no no no no no no no no no You don't need to do that in front of people who aren't really Catherine's friends, you know Yeah, and I grew up third-hand he doesn't really need to do that and then Naomi jumping in But then again call call your friends back. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. The dumbest fight. I can't even believe I'm getting into this fight.
Starting point is 00:49:08 It's steeped. Okay, you have better things to fight about. Have you guys ever heard of global warming? Okay. Life in Chetha for using straws. Global airmen. Anything else. Global airmen.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Yeah. So basically, you know, but then she like, you know, but then Catherine's at the same time like, well, her. She's seen me at all my arms, you know, when I was crazy Catherine, it was pregnant Catherine. It was crazy Catherine. And we just get to see basically a montage of Catherine's greatest hits, which is always the best.
Starting point is 00:49:37 Yeah. That time when she was trying to make salmon, and she was like bathing it in her arm, didn't figure it out. Hermes. Yeah. And so she's like, well, we've been best friends for six years and I'll make it up to her. And so she shakes her head and she's wearing these big huge balls on her ears
Starting point is 00:49:52 that are like hitting her in the face. You know, yeah, it's like that little thing I got from the Philadelphia science museum when I was a kid with the balls was like, you know, yes, but it's just her head in the middle. So arm, arm, arm. I just middle. I'm just counting to seven arms. The Franklin Institute, by the way, far be it for me to say the Philadelphia Science Museum. It's a Franklin Institute.
Starting point is 00:50:15 I know because I know, because you know people are going to be like, man, it's actually called the Franklin Institute. I get it. I get it. I walked through the giant heart. So back up, Patricia's are getting set up and waiters are putting out little Tartar sauce boots which turns out to be The staff in the back putting all the dishes together. I was like, she literally got artichoke dishes. I didn't know what she was talking about until I actually saw the party and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:50:50 wow, she legit has artichoke dishes. Yeah, and in fact, when she said I've artichoke dishes, I thought it was like artichoke themed dishes, but then as they were eating the artichoke, I realized there's a little nook for each one of the leaves to go around. And I was like, oh my God, that's amazing. I love that. That's so sweet. We had artichokes the dishes growing up. My mother, I was like, she has an actual artichoke dish.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I have not seen that since I was a kid. I had never even heard of it. And normally I just have an aside bowl with this giant, unruly like massive leaves that piles up. And this was just so delicate and sophisticated. I was like, wow. Well, I just always thought it was like a cheese and crackers plate and my mom was like trying to be like, oh look, it's like cheese and crackers, but it's artichoke, Ronnie, you fat little bastard. You know, I thought she was,
Starting point is 00:51:35 this is one of those things like it's a healthy substitute. But no, it's an actual artichoke dish. I mean, mom, just the thing she realizes in the adult, I'd like to apologize to my mother our to joke to our to jokes to My mother the start of the artichoke to move. I just didn't even know Yeah, so yeah, but you're just like the theme is an auto joke dinner, which obviously exists like our jokes everywhere She has I mean it actually looked like the finale of Little Shop of Horses. There are all these little, like, little, like,
Starting point is 00:52:06 Audrey Tewes on the table. So Madison shows up first, then Naomi, et cetera, and Patricia's asking Naomi about, Naomi about her new boyfriend, Matool, and she's like, the most beautiful people I've ever seen of any nationality, or Indian, and audit jokes, because audit jokes are people people too as we've learned from this ridiculous movement.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Hashtag got choked too. Have you ever seen an auto-choke try and march in the streets? Hilarious. Oh god, I can't wait for a wall season to begin everyone with their auto-choke pins talking about auto-choke too. Why can't we just go back to the old days when everything was everything. Now just don't forget to put on the green ribbon that I've put in front of you in front of your dishes.
Starting point is 00:52:56 So basically yeah, so then all the girls are super awkward because when the guys come over to I don't know they they're not a fun they don't care you know they're not afraid of rain yeah but all the girls are like this woman could ruin my life yeah so they're there and then there's awkwardness with Danny and Madison because obviously Madison Madison's friend had sent that thing to Daniel's boyfriend and so there's like weirdness there so so then everyone's there and then everyone's like so what were hey Chelsea? What were you and Austin talking about for two hours at the pillow party so yeah, so They so Chelsea are talking about that about the screenshots, etc
Starting point is 00:53:38 Which then leads to Madison basically saying with with all that screenshot drama that happened and basically saying with all that screenshot drama that happened, Madison's like, well, it all basically start because Danny, you had something to say about some transgressions. And Danny's like, me, me, it's like, yes, you. I think it all stained-danned from you. And Naomi's like, yeah, I'm sitting in between these two and I feel my brain being fried by laser beams. Like, I'm not fucking with Madison. She's hardcore and I'm not ever gonna fuck with that woman. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:12 I literally just learned how to make butter chicken properly and her anger laser just singed it out of my brain. Well, I think that now the people's business which I'm not want to do. I love Patricia's like silent laugh. Well, nothing at night of people's business, which I'm not want to do. I love Patricia's just like Simon Locke. She's like, but was this that client of yours who tried to fix you up with someone Madison, your little firecracker? And Danny's like, yeah, it was like the guy I'm dating. And he told me, and I told Craig,
Starting point is 00:54:42 which of course is a dumbest thing you could possibly fucking do in life. And then Madison's like I don't think Craig has to blame it shouldn't have been a conversation. I'm like listen Madison we've been supporting you and we've been on your side with all these douchebags but you're the one who hit up her boyfriend. She's allowed to talk about that okay she's allowed you hit up her boyfriend to flirt with to flirt with him while you're with Austin don't get mad at her if she's with to flirt with him while you're with Austin Don't get mad her if she's wants to tell someone like look at what this one did, okay? Yeah, welcome to being on a TV show, too, and so Danny's like well come on It's not like I made it up and she's well, but it was feeling
Starting point is 00:55:17 And she's like well, okay, I knew better than to tell Craig And I'm sorry, okay, I guess I'm sorry. I'm sorry and she's like, hmm. Yeah. Danny, not the door mat. Not the door mat apologizing to the woman who hit up her own boyfriend. She's like, look, all I want is for you to not see welcome, but see welcome upside down because you're in my house now. Her friends now. And I like that Madison doesn't even take the apology. She's just like yeah, I know I was like excuse me Madison Excuse me. Don't make it hard for me to support you Yeah, so then Cameron comes in and it's like where's Catherine? She's late. That is crazy And so they start gossiping Patricia's like I had you had a ball
Starting point is 00:56:02 So they all start gossiping about who this guy is. And Danny's like, yeah, he's a politician. She goes, oh, dear. Not a politician. Yeah. And then they of course started looking up, like not really a dick picks, but close to dick picks, because there's that picture of him
Starting point is 00:56:19 where he's in front of a sink. And it's obscuring his shaft, but you can see the upper like the upper creases and mass is like his pain is looks like a candle. I'm like, you know, there's like more penis behind the cabinet, right? Like with the counter, right? Like it keeps going. Well, because he does that thing because he saves everything down there. Yeah. They're just showing like his foot bob right above his wee wee. And he's like, what is that? It's like people in the South aren't used to guys grooming and making an effort.
Starting point is 00:56:47 I know. She's like, what is that? Meanwhile, Patricia puts on her readers and is like, give it back to me right now. I just is like staring at him. I mean, my big iPad. I've seen better candles in my time. So they're all being, you know, they're all grossed out and Catherine comes over with Gwyn from Gwyn.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Yeah, she's actually named Madison. So I was thinking we could call her other Madison, but we should just call her Gwyns because she's just Gwyns. Just Gwyns. Gwyns, she doesn't say anything. Yeah. Don't you say something, she's Gwyns. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:23 All she says is like 50% off. It's like okay, Gwins Brand new items in our art show section Gwins is like bad news everybody. We're out of artichoke But we have a wonderful new pineapple division That's a boy is potty so That's a boy is potty. So, uh, Catherine's like, Tammy, do you want to earn for a second? And Danny's like, um, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:51 Well, Danny's so uncomfortable. She's like, Oh, I remember when I had a good friend. Well, but before that happens though, uh, when as soon as Catherine comes in, Patricia's like,
Starting point is 00:58:02 so you have an e-bow, as if like, like, oh, it's a spontaneous spontaneous thought as if they hadn't just been looking at this guy as sort of dick pic, like a second ago. And captain's like, um, yeah, he and I have a parent that broke it up. He's not who I thought I was, so I see where you guys were coming from. Yeah, she's like, you were right. And yeah, Dan, he's like, you were right. And yeah, Danny's like, told you, and told you. So they go out and have a talk.
Starting point is 00:58:29 And Danny's like, I'm emotionally exhausted. There, I'm saying it right now. It's even named money painting. It's an exterior shot, of course, of a plantation. But one of the trees looks really sad. So I guess thanks for that Yeah, just like I mean what you said to me at the pillow party was Shocking like why would you go there like you can't go there all the time. Okay, you just can't it's like going to chefs apartment
Starting point is 00:58:58 You just can only go so many times before you develop mold and your lungs, okay? before you develop mold in your lungs, okay? Yeah. Uh, Catherine's just like, yeah, but you brought up shit on the girls' trip, and I didn't like that, because it's like baggage that you're just throwing on the table, and I'm thinking, put the fuck, Danny. Yeah, and all this stuff,
Starting point is 00:59:14 I'm some prime on the table, not baggage. Yeah, and it's like, people are always judging me because I was someone that, I was with someone that maybe made, okay, I definitely made me a little crazy and then we get a clip of Catherine being crazy yeah and she's like yeah I mean I did go to rehab for three years and lose my kids so I get
Starting point is 00:59:34 you're worried but come on lighting yeah so everything's fine they're friends again and then Michael rings like this dinner going. I was like, BAH! DITTER ASSURBS! And they just both look at each other like jeez. And she's like, oh god, I hope she doesn't think I'm out here causing drama. Madison, you're here. Catherine, you're here. Cam, you're here. Gwyn's cut out, lady, tell me about sales.
Starting point is 01:00:04 You're over on, you just sit in the bench in the kitchen. I don't know who you are. You go over there. And all these napkins, they were owned by the Kangabavaria. And then it was like, they are huge. And thankfully, if you're a Bravo watcher, you know why they're huge because you wipe your mouth and move along and wipe your mouth and move along.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Thank you, Sonya Morgan, for teaching us about that. I'm at Bravo. You know, teach us a lot of things. We've officially gone through giant napkin school. Thank you, bro. We are all the more educated. So then Chelsea's like, what's this dip in sauce? That's when Patricia goes, I out like... Now nobody here knows how to eat an artichoke, which is weird. Weird. Yeah, I was like, what? First of all, you guys are too old to not have had done this before.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Second of all, it's also really easy, right? Yeah, but no one has ever had an artichoke. Maybe it's just, maybe it's not like a southern thing. I don't know. I mean, it was a southern thing to us, but I have no idea. But I was like, wow, not one of those. I just't know. I mean, it was a southern thing to us, but I have no idea what I was like, wow. Not one of you knows how to eat an orange egg. I feel like you could literally like,
Starting point is 01:01:09 pick it up and just watch Patricia do it once and you figure out how to do it. But you're just like, okay, now only the meat of the tip. No, you don't have to put the whole thing in your mouth. No, no, no, don't turn into a bow. Now, just put an an and pull. No, don't push. Don't turn, now, that downturn half queens lady now
Starting point is 01:01:25 all right you just bit your finger off not like that there's like blood going everywhere but then you what do you do that take it out of your water glass take it out of your water glass dip it in the a.o. le oh you almost got it now you hit the table don't comb your hair with it don't comb your hair with no it's not not to be used for a mustache ch Chelsea. No, take that off. Now I see you made sunglasses out of two of them. That's very cute. Not how you eat them. Not how you eat them. Well, she's like so stupid people. You know, it's funny because when I do the guys dinner party, they're rockin' said, there I say, fun. But you guys are just you're reserved what's what's wrong with you and cameras like you know what?
Starting point is 01:02:09 It's because we're sober. Let's do some shots Right get shit face. It's like well. What do you want to do? Take Kayla? Yeah, but you're just like sure fine So they all do shots and paquilla's like paquilla Patricia's like, ah, Pequilla. But Trisha's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Oh, quite frankly, I always wondered what taking a shot was like, I prefer a Montigny. Mm. So then the Cameron asks Madison if she's done with Austin.
Starting point is 01:02:38 And she's like, well, we're a part. And Chess is like, yeah, you know what you need? A real man. Hey, not real man. You need a real man. Hey, not real man. You need a real man. Like, well, I'll have fun with that, because Madison is immediately going to Austin and telling him that you said that.
Starting point is 01:02:52 So, have fun with your next fight. Yeah, so basically, they started saying that Austin has been manipulated into Shep's lifestyle. And so, sort of like he's brainwashed. And Patricia's like, well, you know, so the man don't grow up and I'm not including Whitney in this because he's always worked. All the girls just look at each other like. Yeah everyone just looks at each other for a while.
Starting point is 01:03:17 It tells us like well that is a big deal like is but I've never had the option not to work and all the girls like me too. I oughta choke to you got wrong. Sorry, branding. It started here. It started here. Someone called Lissomalano. I'm gonna listen to Milano. She's like, I am standing for every artichoke in this country.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Thank you, Alyssa. Alyssa Milano is like, you know, you're really degrading a very important movement right now. And you know, at the same time, I actually really support yours too. So, yeah, who's like gonna be against artichoke too? I don't know anyone who would be against artichoke too, to be honest. Artichoke too. Anything you can dip in better, I think we'll bring this anything that can be married with spinach and cheese. I'm for it.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Listen, can't be me to our choke. They have hearts. Yeah. So Cameron jumps in to stand up for chef and say, I don't think he meant to hurt you. With chef, I just think there's something wrong. There's an underlying issue that he's very, very angry about. Like, yes, you're right. Getting old and getting less puse say, you know?
Starting point is 01:04:28 Yeah, because a mass until is in that shop called her White Trash Air stylist. So mass and goes, well, maybe you still bitter from when I declined him when I was still married and obviously I couldn't be with him because you know, I was married. I was like, oh, everyone's like, oh yeah. I remember when he started cracking up. And everybody started like cracking up. And there it is right there. Madison is so calmly.
Starting point is 01:04:52 Madison just so calmly earning her spot. The season I love it. Yeah. By the way, where was Eliza Limehouse at this dinner? I really feel like Eliza Limehouse. They like all the scenes we've been seeing were shot way afterwards, and they've like been sprinkling them into the season, right? Don't you get that feeling?
Starting point is 01:05:09 I'm not really sure what's going on with Eliza Lime. I think that they were like, okay, that lady has supposed to have attitude after a near death experience. She's fired. Yeah. Get the white trash hairdresser girl in here. Yeah, so then Michael serves little finger bowls
Starting point is 01:05:24 and cameras like, Patricia, what's this? Fingerball, not because we use with ILA. Just like this is so extra. Well, it has hand-blown Czechoslovakian rose petals at the bottom. Just because Miss Pat, you are something else. All right, Chelsea. Take your tongue out of that bowl. It's for your fingers now. Get it out. No, no, you're not a dog. Chance, like, Chance has better manners than you. Cameron's like, is shit. I never get married. Can you just divide all this stuff up for us? And Danny, I saw what if Whitney and Mary's Catherine And it's like, well, I heard rumors to that effect,
Starting point is 01:06:06 but I wouldn't be happy at least it would guarantee me a grand baby. Yeah. Catherine's like, oh my god, this is awkward. This is really, really awkward. But you see Catherine like counting the artichoke dishes in her head. She's like, wow, what am I going to do with all these artichoke dishes? No. So now we see Shep go to a store that is really so appropriate for Shep. It's called Do Little's. And he's, oh, that's a career. That's autobiography. Yeah. It's his resume, Do Little. So he is still really getting this dog named Craig. So he goes still really getting this dog named Craig. So he goes up to the lady working there. It's just another one of these poor women in Charleston
Starting point is 01:06:51 who has to like endure, ship and Craig in Austin. And he's like, gosh, I'm getting a dog named Craig. Oh, I need to get some stuff. And she's just looking at him. She's like a little anachendric type. And she's just looking at him like, this fucking asshole. He doesn't even remember that he drunkenly hit on me last night No, we don't have vanilla lattes here. That's a different store with a different woman
Starting point is 01:07:12 Yeah, it is so Craig and Catherine and Austin meet up for ice cream the gang does that to have some ice cream together? Wait, before the coffee place before that before that I, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait me money. Oh, I'm so obstinate right now. Was that ornery of me going? Yeah, just more piling on just more ship piling on to Craig. I thought I needed to be brought to the pod. Yeah, I just I just stopped typing. I was like, that's where I'm at with ship scenes. Like, so then we go to Craig Catherine and Austin and they Austin's like, well, camping didn't work out that well you know and Craig's like yeah
Starting point is 01:08:07 uh and then Nashville Whitney just shut me right up and he's like yeah like uh he said I didn't know he didn't know what I was talking about I was like dude like I don't even care about this little little little little little little little little little little little like they're just basically bitching about Whitney right yeah and then they bring up that Austin is Austin brings up that Whitney won't even admit to banging Catherine. And Catherine's like, Jesus Christ. Like this is the first time we've heard this. This has been happening for years.
Starting point is 01:08:30 Yeah, Austin also says, Shep got very ornery, which is funny, because Austin, once again, Austin is just basically taking big words he heard from like, Shep and Whitney. Yeah, he's like, God, I'm so sick of those guys manipulating me or an ornery. They're so obstinate. I'll have a stag sleep, please.
Starting point is 01:08:48 He, we should also mention that like it's apparently like really cold out and Craig walks in and they're like a polo shirt and they're like, where is your jacket? Craig, this is ridiculous and Craig's like, oh yeah, I Left it in the car It's like he he like got out of a car and was like cold and he was like oh well can't go back into the car to get the jacket I guess this is just my fate I'm gonna freeze today. I'm gonna bury. I'm gonna dig a hole right here, Catherine. You want to join me? She's like arm Craig we're in the middle of a coffee shop. Okay, I'll be there in a second. We got lost, erm, so, uh, onto the table, Huddled. She's like, I don't know, she's like, everyone knows, I don't know why he needs to deny it, you know? Like, why does everyone have to deny
Starting point is 01:09:39 sleeping with Catherine? That's a question. She's like the youngest hottest one there. Yeah. Why? And she's very upfront about it. So it's not even like slut-shaming or anything. It's just like they're just talking about what happened. Yeah, it's like reverse, it's not reverse slut-shaming. It's like a different kind of slut-shaming. It's like, it's like slut-denying. It's like it's like slut-denying. Slut-denying. Slut-denying. Yes. So, yeah, so now Austin's talking about Madison. And he's talking about how Shep called her, white trash hair stylist, et cetera,
Starting point is 01:10:13 which, you know, they're like, whoa. And basically Austin reveals that he hung out with Madison last night. Yeah, Craig gets so mad. He's like, what, what? But you're broken. How are you supposed to stay broken up? Craig.
Starting point is 01:10:26 You're broken up. Don't hang out. Like, Craig, I don't know if it's here and hanging out is here. Craig, I didn't say we weren't broken up. OK, I just said we're hanging out, Craig. It's ridiculous. You're insane.
Starting point is 01:10:38 You're an insane person right now, Craig. What's the difference? Like, why does this have to be so complicated? He's like, um, why are you making it so complicated Craig? Which is true. Why does everyone care? Who cares? I've never known guys to care like this. I think that basically Craig Happened to have just watched the Nancy Myers film. It's complicated the night before is like, oh, so that's what complicated is guys It's complicated So that's what complicated is guys. It's complicated
Starting point is 01:11:08 I'm Marl Street so I'm making a chocolate croissant. That was the best part I've ever forget that scene when Marl Street just goes to make a chocolate croissant all night I mean that's love right yeah such a shitty movie, but great food porn and I'm gonna tell you that was not a shitty movie You know what the first time I saw I've actually seen a twice I saw it twice At the first time I saw it I was like you know what this first time I saw I've actually seen a twice I saw it twice The first time I saw it I was like you know what this movie was actually really good and it was funny And then the second time I saw it I was like I hate this movie now. It was so weird I had like it works once and the second time I was like everything is wrong with this movie Yeah, I don't know why so Craig's like well
Starting point is 01:11:38 Austin's a pussy and that's all I can say and Austin's like what do you want me to say? I'm mister and I'm disappointed that I let myself be brainwashed by those guys. It's like, oh my god. You're a cheater and an asshole. Okay, no one brainwashed you into anything. And I'm not gonna feel anything for you or these guys. Get, grow a pair.
Starting point is 01:11:56 Yeah, grow a pair. And that's basically where it ended up as basically Austin is mad at chef and crag and Danny for getting it to his head. And he wants to be his own man and go back to a dysfunctional relationship which is great. Great. Looks like the future is bright for him. So tonight we will be back here doing a Real Housewives of New York finale video.
Starting point is 01:12:16 So come join us for that. Streaming again. Thank you for everybody who joined us on our live stream and is watching this on video. Hi, we appreciate you. Hi, we can't wait. Oh my god. I'm so sad. The season finale of New York tonight. That is really devastating.
Starting point is 01:12:28 But we will get to it together. Okay, and the next week is the Independence Day week. So we are going to be here for a lot of podcasts, but we won't be doing Southern Charm next week because that recap would be on the fourth. And guess what, we're celebrating America. So instead, we are going to do a full Southern Charm Nola recap in its place.
Starting point is 01:12:46 So, go watch Southern Charm Nourilins. If you're not watching it, it's a really fun good show this year. They're doing a great job. Yeah, everyone's loving it. People are super into it. I mean, including us. So, yeah, go what you know what? Or even better, just, excuse me, Mr. Quarter.
Starting point is 01:13:03 Just subscribe to our podcast, and then you will see the episodes come automatically to your device, and then you'll see what we're recapping, and you can watch accordingly. Yeah, okay everybody, thanks so much for being here. We'll talk to you next time everybody. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Hirm. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.

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