Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Pillow Fight!
Episode Date: June 14, 2019Craig enlists everyone but himself to sew pillows for his burgeoning business, but his plans go haywire when a) no one sews a stitch, and b) fights break out at his pillow party. We cover it... all on this week's "Southern Charm" recap. Plus, Crappens Mailbag! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Just sayin' okay? Kristie Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.
Kristi Wauherty-Dawherty.
Jamie, she has no last name-y.
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
Zip some scotch with Jessica Trot.
Cassie Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters.
What you talkin' about Willis? It's Sonic Illis.
Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists.
Megan the Slayer Taylor.
In a Homer with Jeffrey Boomer.
Kelly Barlow.
When she goes Barlow, we go high-low.
Megan Berg.
You can't have a burger without the bird.
Ain't no thing like Alison King.
Hot dang!
It's Jessica Dang.
Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good.
Hannah, God, I love that banana.
Anderson.
Avonigila Weber. Lisa Walland. Now that banana. Andreson of a nigela webber. Visa
Walent now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betches, Betches and our
super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell Miss Noel. Lulu Simon, Sue, Sue
Studio. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Always ready for Nicole Pasaretti, yes we can
with Howley, Carolyn and Anne. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto.
The Grand The Grand Master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a
cannon Anthony. Incredible edible Matthew sisters and Mina Kuchikuchi.
Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens?
What happens when there's so much that happens?
What happens?
What happens when there's so much that happens? I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real House, where as a kitchen island, it's a cartoon available on YouTube.
There's a new episode that just went up, so please go watch it.
And if you're feeling really kind, share and subscribe. It means a cartoon available on YouTube. There's a new episode that just went up. So please go watch it. And if you're feeling really kind, share and subscribe.
It means a lot to me.
And joining me is the hilarious and wonderful man,
lover, joke maker, and also co-host of Rose Pricks,
a bachelor in bachelor at podcasts,
Roast, it's Ronnie Karen, what's going on?
Hi, Bane. How are you?
Oh, just so great. I love a Friday girl.
Oh, yeah. Me too. This has been a big week. We've had a lot of big recaps.
We're going to get, we're going to get into Southern Charm today. But before we do that,
in case you somehow missed it, our Philadelphia Seattle and Charlotte
say shows are going on sale today. There was a pre-sale, but and Charlotte shows are going on sale today.
There was a pre-sale, but now the tickets are open to the public.
We sold a bunch on the pre-sale.
So definitely, if you want to come see us in those cities, Philadelphia, Seattle and Charlotte,
go get your tickets now.
We've actually sold out Philly and Seattle in the past.
So definitely do not wait on those.
And speaking of which, our second New York York City show the tickets are getting really low.
So definitely make sure you nav yours if you want to get that.
And also please do not forget St. Louis and Indianapolis. We announced them too.
And we don't want them to get lost in the shuffle.
So we got St. Louis and Indianapolis.
And then next month we've got Cleveland and Baltimore which are still on sale.
Pittsburgh is sold out. Thank you, everyone.
And then September is Nashville. So in Reak to recap,
buy your tickets because places are selling out. Thank you, by the way. Thank you so much.
And we also have merch. Ronnie, tell everyone about the merch.
Right now, we've got three new shirts in rotation for limited time only we've got Rinda team LVP and
Martini medicine go to crap and smurch.com for those and if you want to see our video recaps We do two recaps a week on video go over to crap and on demand on our patreon and you can watch all of them
You can stream them into your TV just watch us on TV
Okay, and just one last thing if you want to get tickets to our shows
Just go to watch our crap and calm which is by the way the hub for all the links for the merch for the tickets
Social media whatever you need all the links are there at watchrocrapins.com and also that charlotte show that we're gonna be part of that's that is
That's part of like a comedy festival with some really big names. So go definitely check that out
Yeah, yeah,, were you eating
something that I get? I'm selling the last of my popcorn down my
throat. Take it away, man. Well, it's like a real show. You're like, I
gotta sit back eat the popcorn while I do the shill. Guys, Southern
Charm Day, Southern Charm Day, so fun, so fun. It's hard. It's
hard, honestly, after yesterday's epic real housewives of New
York recap.
It's sometimes it's like it feels like such a hard pivot to now go to Southern
Charm, which just feels so gentile by comparison.
But the truth was this was also a really funny episode.
Oh yeah, Southern Charm's pretty reliable, I think, for that.
Yeah, totally.
Totally.
Craig for Christ's sake.
The gift that keeps on.
I want to say giving, but I don't feel like Craig has the organization to even be the gift that keeps on giving. It's the gift that keeps on. I want to say giving but I don't feel like Craig
has the organization to even be the gift that keeps on giving. It's the gift that keeps on existing.
It's the gift that keeps on sleeping. I've never seen a thin person that sleeps that much.
Seriously, how does he say so then? He drinks a lot and is really thin.
Let me explain this to you guys. We're all special in our own way, okay, but God loves some of us more than others
Okay, and Greg is proof you're welcome. There you go enjoy enjoy your positivity
Exactly so this week's episode begins where we left off and by the way where we left off last week was in Milwaukee
And we had a great time. So thank you Milwaukee you guys were a great audience
But we are now still in that like
bullshit tree house place, which is like, they're in a tree house, but they're not actually a tree
in their house, just houses on stilts. I'm still not over it, and I'm still mad about it. And I want to
thank the people who came up to us after the Milwaukee show. And we're like, you know what? I was thinking
the same thing about those tree houses. There were no trees in them. It's a problem for me. That's a problem. Um, yeah, that's what this show gives us to care about. And I do care about
it. The truth and tree houses, okay? It really bothers me. So we're at this awkward dinner
where Danny and Naomi have decided to kind of tell Catherine she's super irresponsible
and doesn't call anybody back. It's not being a good friend. Let's guess what, don't do that on my fucking trip.
This isn't a real housewives of New York, where this is what you guys do.
Okay, this is like hyper aggression for Southern charm.
It is hyper aggression, but I'm sorry if you are like the trip organizer
and people have been texting you to be like, hey what's the deal with this trip?
Where are we going?
And people are not getting back to you.
I understand that like you would be frustrated. I really do.
Oh look, it's a crawl sheet.
So anyway, so they've just confronted Catherine in a very awkward way by basically being like,
we love you, we love you, but like you have to be places on time and she's like,
and so they're just sitting there quietly.
Yeah, they're all just staring at each other and Chelsea's like, erm, and so they're just sitting there quietly. Yeah, they're all just staring at each other and Chelsea's like,
oh, this love, they?
And Kat is like, um, yeah, erm.
So they all just decide to leave, you know,
because like dinner is officially ruined.
Yeah.
And so Danny's like, um, okay,
do you want to go to the bonfire so we can chat?
Now, Danny seems like a very nice person,
but I have to say she has stink face.
She always, have you noticed that she's always
drowning, stink face, even if she's smiling?
Maybe she has stink face.
She has a little camera as far.
No, she has it all the time.
She has stink face.
No, I don't want to go to the fire with you stink face.
She does have stink face.
How about you smile?
A lot of stink facing me.
She's got the prettiest stink face I've ever seen. I will say that, but she is always
frowning because you know what it is? I feel like actually her natural state is to smile,
but she's built up so much. She's harbored so many resentments over the years towards
everyone. Then now she can't help but have stink face.
Yeah. So, it's a classic frown smile where you're trying to smile at things that are so
bad because things have sucked so long that you're just like smiling, but it's a frown that's a classic frown smile where you're trying to smile at things that are so bad because things have sucked so long that you're just like smiling, but it's a frown.
And then your face gets frozen like that.
Yeah, you know what my favorite thing is is when a woman, it's usually a woman.
I don't think I've actually ever seen a man do it, but a man could certainly do it.
But when a woman smiles at you and it's a full frown, but she's like smizing at you,
but she's frowning at the same time. I love, I actually love that.
I'm like, you're frowning at me. I'm supposed to believe that you're smiling at you, but she's frowning at the same time. I love, I actually love that. I'm like, you're frowning at me.
I'm supposed to believe that you're smiling at me,
but you're frowning at me, Mrs. Thatcher from 73.
Well, I call it the frown smile,
but in Texas, it's called the Bless Your Heart smile.
It is.
The Bless Your Heart.
Yeah.
The frown smile.
It's just such a bold contradiction of emotions, right?
Like, I'm trying, like, I'm literally frowning at you and I'm expecting you to perceive this as a smile.
There's so much cockiness in that that I just have to respect it.
Yeah, it's a bless your heart, passive-represence.
Yes, you're right, it's bless your heart.
So they go to the bonfire and Catherine's so mad, but she's mad on such a quiet Catherine way.
She's just like a, you know, her arms.
She's just like a bonfire of her arms.
So the other girls go off in Cameron Farts
and everyone's like,
Ha ha ha, Chelsea's like,
your assholes miss like low tide.
Very specific comparison.
Um, so you know it's awkward because Danny by the fire, they're by the fire now and Danny
goes, isn't it crazy how much warmer it is with a fire?
No, it's a fire.
It's a fire.
That's how they work.
Isn't it crazy how my drink is colder once I put an ice cube in it?
Danny is amazed by physics. And Catherine goes, um, chocolate. So Danny now,
they're having a one-on-one, and now Danny is like, she just, she just got Naomi to like speak up
on her behalf at dinner, and now Danny is alone again, and she's like, oh fuck, I've gotta do this
alone. So Catherine, um, let's make it more, let's make it more, let's do this, oh, fuck, I've got to do this alone. So, Catherine, let's make it more.
Let's make it more.
Let's do this.
That fixes everything, right?
Yeah, because what else is there to say?
Didn't you already say it all?
You know?
So then we go to the other girls who are trying to have more fun.
And Chelsea's like, well, that didn't go the direction at all.
And Dan Naomi's like, yeah, well, wild cards
need to be put in checks sometimes.
So...
Also, they served us muskidine wines.
So, yeah, there's no way that dinner could have ended well.
Muskidine wine!
Muskidine.
Gentry founds! Muskidine muskidine.
You know that winery somewhere JD is stomping on some grapes.
Like, whaa!
Whaa! Like, what does this taste like? You know what that winery somewhere JD is stomping on some grapes like
What is this taste like?
Like male privilege So Cameron's like yeah, it's real sad because you know
Catherine doesn't really have a champion in her life and in name it's like um that's what Danny's trying to do
So then we cut to back over to Danny and Catherine and Danny's like, you know, I know you've
made strides, but like if you get mad, then you're like, screw everyone. But on the other
end of that, there are feelings there. And I'm scared to tell you, Thief heard my feelings.
And she cries. And Catherine just is like, it's smokey.
Um, smokey. It's in my eyes arm. Yeah, I'm gonna move
New stump new stump. Were you saying something arm? I couldn't hear you over the
sound of the smores. It hurts me when you just regard my family. She's like
It's really hot. I hate smoke. Yeah, arm. So I guess you have nothing to say. Okay well good talk
So she tries to change it to you know the normal like well, you know like
It's things suck. It's not just with Thomas but single mom and captain's like even so bored of going over this over
Never so I think all mom alone young tired exhausted and
She's like, you know the problems I deal with are bigger than people understand
custody
Um being questioned on my sobriety. I can't fathom feel sad about it.
And then Danny immediately stops crying because she's not getting the hug that she looked for.
Yeah. Like when people cry like that and they're like, I just need you to love me.
And then you don't so they just stop to fake tears.
Yeah, Catherine is just like, no arm.
So then it's the next morning and Cameron and Chelsea are in their, their like treehouse thing.
And Chelsea, I'm gonna leave you to figure out this coffee situation
and Cameron has to like, I think it's like an old-fashioned burg rinder or something like that
so that like she's like grinding coffee beans, she's like, I don't know if you're saying why they can't just have ground beans in your already
she's like, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, she's never ground like anything before in her life
and she's just furious
So in the other house Naomi turns the Catherine and Danny or so how is the rest of y'all's talk last night and Catherine just goes
I am now, so then Cameron back in Cameron and Chelsea, they talk about, God, it's so hard to have a baby.
I wish I can go to work.
I mean, baby, so say thank you, mother.
I'm done with your zero access now.
Here's a commission, mother.
They just have that basic conversation.
And then Catherine tells us, last night was a first night.
I felt betrayed by Danny.
She made me feel bad about myself and embarrassed quite frankly
She's doing that Thomas thing now where she just says quite frankly after things to make it sound like super smart
Yeah, I like that like this was the thing that embarrassed Catherine
Like Danny like trembling at the end of a table being like sometimes you're like
You know, like Arm that's embarrassing. Yeah, it really does show you the difference in these housewives shows and something charm
Like this is the biggest fight ever. You are hot. You're late and that hurts my feelings
It's like you know, yeah, the biggest fight of the season
You know, I mean far be it for me not to mention my favorite movie of all time big business
But honestly Danny really reminds me of City Rose, you know, like
what's yet, whenever City Rose has to stand up to CD, she like
hides behind a towel every time or a napkin, I should say, that's
kind of like what Danny is.
She puts her dog in the elevator, but the scarf gets cut. You just
see the scarf going up.
Um, you're dressed like a blood clot.
Oh no, you!
Um, you're dressed like a blood clot. Um
So anyway, so now we go to Craig's house where he's sleeping of course and then Anna Hayward his assistant
Who to me is just sort of like the pepper pots of this show?
She's like arrives and she's organizing fabrics and everything and pretty much like getting the day ready
And she's like, I got a friend's job and I mean, how much could this girl possibly be getting paid?
Yeah, seriously.
I don't know what you're making,
but you were seriously underpaid.
Now, I will say this,
whoever redid Craig's house did such a nice job.
Was it her?
Because did you notice that the railings
for the stairs are canoe battles?
I noticed that.
I noticed that.
I loved it. It that. I loved it.
It was.
I have like a Pinterest like orgasm watching.
Two, but I also noticed that by the end of the episode, like, there was a big splotch of
paint that was missing from his door already.
Oh, yeah.
Did you know that?
I was like, OK.
Yeah.
So he gustsied it up for the beginning of the season.
And now like for episodes in things are already falling apart.
Next week, like the pad, one of the paddles will be broken.
And another is gonna be like holding up the refrigerator door.
Yeah.
Well, that's why you need man-a-hey word in your life, you know?
Yeah.
So it's like, Greg, I'm doing everything down here.
And he's like, I'm not a good wakeer up, or that's it.
And then he earns every penny of that paycheck
standing in front of the mirror in a towel. Yeah, yeah, I'm not a good
Waker upper am I awake right now? Am I asleep or am I?
So he's like so what's up? And she's like oh, I'm getting things measured out
You know, I think we're gonna back it with this velvet and he's like whoa, that's like real pillows
All right, I'm gonna make some food I think we're gonna back it with this velvet and he's like, whoa, that's like real pillows.
All right, I'm gonna make some food.
Ha, I have to embroider that pillow for that heath,
baby, I kind of drop the ball on that.
Yeah, she's like, yeah, you just have to sit down
and actually do it.
And by you doing it, clearly I will be doing it.
Fine.
I'm sorry, like what role is Craig playing?
If she's chosen the fabric for the front and the back, and then she's gonna be sewing it fine. I'm sorry like what role is Craig playing if she's chosen the fabric
for the front and the back and then she's going to be sewing it like really it's like like
what part does he play does he choose like the fill I don't really I don't get it.
Yeah he sleeps. Yeah. So then Austin is at the country club with his dad because you
know what Austin really needs is in his life are more people to think that he's a spoiled
privileged fuck who can't make it on his own
I know let's go get a green fees paid by daddy
So he shows up for tea time with his dad and a dear runs away
Yeah, dear runs away. Yeah, you are insane. You're insane dear right now. Mm-hmm. The deer is so gross dad it runs back to Potomac
So the guy behind the counter is like put it
on the account privilege fuck and he's like yep that's right so the dad comes
and he's like come on soon I'll have you in the drive of speech you know what
to say waste not want not. This dad is a font of like dad sings. Yeah and Austin
tells us this like stories like you know my dad's been trying to teach me about golf
since I was a little kid and I hate it.
And I thought that once we went,
we'd go to the range and once we run out of the buckets,
like once the buckets empty, then we'd get to go home.
So when my dad wouldn't be looking,
I was like reaching the bucket and like throw the balls
onto the range, it was hilarious.
I'm like, so you've basically been like a scammer
since you've been a kid, got it.
Yeah, now you're doing the same thing so you can go home and take an app, but now set a balls
you're just throwing up bags of his money, you know?
Exactly.
So the dad's like, well, you better get some hoots, Pa, son.
It's like, oh, geez, this is like the widest cast I've ever seen. So they're talking and Austin's like, yeah, doubt.
You know, it would be great if like we could
have a drink like it's time to start a drink and speaking of drinking I'm
shocked and upset and just made by what happened that yeah yeah and we find
out that basically the brewer that Austin had found last season was too expensive
for him as in they probably charged like $45 so he looked around to a
different brewer and he made a deal with them because they were cheaper and guess what?
A part broke and they are
Factory or whatever and production came to a halt and now Austin's beer
Has well seems like it will never materialize which is convenient because I don't think there really was a beer there in the first place
Yeah, well, you know what I would say is something if something can go wrong that will go wrong
I don't know what I would say, if something, if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. That's saying?
Oh yeah, there's a bad saying for ya.
You ever get the expression, the devil's in the details?
Well, this is where the details bitch you in the ass tap.
Why would details magazine bite me in the ass? You're so ridiculous.
He's like, I do feel judged by my parents.
I should be married and successful, and they're like my biggest cheerleaders but also my biggest pains in the asses. And you know what? They're also your biggest fucking bank.
I just like, I'm really gonna sit up here and complain about your parents judging you when you
just got caught in the threesome video and your business fails. Like come on. Yeah. Why do I hate Austin?
I've never hated Austin. I mean Austin's always just been like a, like the, I never really hated Austin.
He's just been like sort of, you know, like a vanilla
fosy bearer just there and just doing things
and sometimes getting into a little tiff with people.
But now like, yeah, it's like dude, get your shit together.
Yeah, so then the dad asked about Madison,
how that's going and obviously it's not going anywhere.
And so Austin misses the ball and he's like,
what am I thinking about in the deck? He deck goes yeah, what are you thinking about?
I'm like ooh
Judgmental father also the question that no one really cares about what is Austin thinking about
Wagon wheel pasta gosh it's time to go to a commercial. Ah, Craig.
Gah.
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up
on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasive.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between
Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her
laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out.
So then we go over to Patricia and Michael.
Michael's polishing the glass and how the doors ring.
Guess who's there?
Spitfire, that Madison Laquois.
Madison Laquois, what a Spitfire.
So Madison comes in and I think that people on this show
get outfits just to go to Patricia's house.
I think so too.
You know, she's like, this is like kind of limited express,
but it's also kind of gone with the wind.
So, and that's a bow.
I know that she has a bow.
She has like an oversized pussy bow.
She's like, just in case I have to meet
the Savannah pump afterwards.
Yeah, you never know.
So that's like, honey, I about want to his favorite
bubbing sauce.
It's in a glass as big as a baby.
Yeah, drink that and tell me all your secrets.
Thank you. I've known Madison for 10 years now
Over the years I've mentored her and I was like, oh
We've seen Patricia mentored people before I see you Ashley
Oh, yeah, she's like advice, you know from marriage to divorce. I'm kind of an expert in that area.
It's like if you were mentoring her through her marriage,
you shouldn't have had to mentor her
through her divorce.
Like, I love you, but please don't give me marital advice.
Right.
So Madison's like, she's just saying how Austin
has been trying to make her look bad.
Like she's some sort of cheater,
but in the reality, he's the one who's the cheater
and that she's lost trust in him ever since
His video came out and then like just like right like clockwork
They show the video again like every single episode this is four out of four that video has surfaced
You're insane Madison. You're insane person right now
And she's like awesome to that. That was a trust a show
It's like um yeah, so after that, that was a trust issue. She's like, oh, yeah, because I had revenge sex.
Just what's that?
I must be missing something.
What is revenge sex?
And she's like, well, I was pissed off.
So I decided to do what I wanted to do.
And Patricia goes, well, we didn't have
respect revenge sex in my day.
We had revenge marriage.
It makes much more of an impact.
And you know what?
She talks about it like it's in the past tense,
but anyone who's been watching Southern Charm New Orleans knows that revenge marriage is still a thing.
Hell yeah.
Still a thing, Reagan and Jeff.
So now we go back to Austin with his dad.
They're still playing golf.
And they're talking about Reagan and
I'm not Reagan. They're talking about Reagan Charleston. No, they're talking about Ronald Reagan
Yeah, they're talking about Ronald Reagan. It was amazing. They're talking about Madison and
And you know how the base of the parents had met her and liked her and the dad's like so Austin
Do you think you sabotage relationships like maybe you do something to make it go haywire.
He's like, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
And then he tells us about how,
like his parents have seen the video
and he goes, it was the first time
I'd seen actual disappointments in their,
disappointment in their faces.
I'm like, well, then you haven't been looking
at their faces very long to be honest.
He ain't no kidding.
Are they normally just wearing dark sunglasses?
Do you remember when you told them about the plan to do be it to drink beer for a living?
Do you not watch this show? Do you just fast forward the scenes
or moms in or what? Don't you remember the way your parents looked at you when they said, hey, do you have a job yet?
Yeah, and the dad's like, well, I wouldn't be happy if I was the girl that
saw that. Now you gotta be at ease you're not at ease with yourself. Why is that?
Not since like well cuz dad I don't have the things I want in my life and he's like
there you go bubble!
Yeah I'm not happy because I am not happy. Good job so well, he's not happy $5,000
He's not happy because he doesn't feel like he's where he's supposed to be at his life like having a job and a career
Etc etc etc
So then therefore he goes and dates women and then he cheats on them because he's self-sabotaging
Which basically means that a bunch of bullshit. Yeah toxic masculinity
So then yeah, it's all a bunch of excuses and bullshit, okay?
Like if you really were serious about doing something you wouldn't be playing golf on a weekday on someone else's time
Yeah, it's called drive Uber so anyway
We now go to Shep who said a bar and he's ordering our corona and the waitress like do you want some water to?
She's like yeah, water is good. It's a life force
gosh Yeah, water is good. It's a life force. Gars!
So Craig comes in and says like, what are you going to do today before I say nothing?
And Craig's like, well, we're going to the fabric store. Like, we have so many orders. I can't keep up. Oh, you know what? I just thought of this. Maybe I could have like a bill of party and I could like teach you guys how to sew.
like a pillow party and I could like teach you guys how to sew. Hey Craig, if you can't keep up with your 100 orders, maybe don't go to lunch with
chef and drink beers. How about you like, order it in and sew a goddamn pillow.
For side.
Yeah, just like all I know how to do is pass out with a pillow.
Oh gosh.
So he's like, I don't think I told you you but I got my haircut with Josie really looks the same
Yeah, that's her magic and she said that Madison said screenshots of talking shit about me
Yeah, we're talking shit about him. So we out we so we see all these and then
You would think like the natural response to be like wow awesome is such a dick
But instead of course where chef takes it is this is such a portrayal of Madison to be fucking sending private messages
Between you and your boyfriend like Craig's like yeah, I don't know what's worse cheating on you
We're doing something like that. We're sewing a pillow on time. God so hard
She's tired, boy, cool.
She should write a book on warfare like,
simsoo young or whatever that guy is,
who write the art of warfare, gawr.
Jow young fat.
Yeah, it's like, look, aren't I more relatable now
than I'm not pretending to be a smart?
Wow.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, I like, listen, Shep. You know who wrote the art of war because it's literally,
it's literally written on the ceiling of one of the restaurants in Charleston.
And we know that because we went to that restaurant.
It's like, how can we break these chains?
And he's like, it's like we're talking to a middle schooler.
Oh, by the way, I just saw it about this.
No, me rhymes with blow me, which is awesome.
It feels like we're talking to a middle schooler. Hey, I learned how to do something in the homeic class and now I'm
making a career out of it. So the guy, uh, chef decides they're going to take a boys
trip. It's a boys trip time. Let's try it up the passive aggressiveness with a boys
trip. Yeah. So they're're gonna take an RV trip someplace
So then Chelsea goes over to Nomi's house and it's raining and Naomi's like
Well, I was gonna take the golf cart, but it's raining. So let's just hang right here
Yeah, so they just sit on this port swing and Chelsea's asking Naomi Naomi if she's going to Craig's pillow party
And then she's like and what is a pillow party?
Are we like Mike and pillows or are we sitting on pillows or are we having a pillow fight?
Are we gonna date a pillow who's gonna go off to the Mediterranean for three years on a sailing trip like what is it?
And while there's so much hair on is this cat hair on this chair?
You must be doing to God lane or is this my tools chest hair.
So I love I love this so she's like what is a pillow party and Naomi is like well it
sounds like you're gonna find out and just let me know because she has no plans to go
to the pillow party.
Yeah she's like yeah going to my ex's party while my current boyfriend is on call yeah
I probably shouldn't do that, you know.
So then she says, well, does he know that you know about Madison's screenshots?
It's gonna be a front. Right? Yeah. And Chelsea's like, well, I guess, I guess this can't go on too low on
God to confront him. So then we hear some kids screaming. It wasn't that Chelsea said God to confront him.
Because now, Naomi says does he know that Madison had sent you the screenshots and Chelsea goes
I don't know and Naomi goes confront him. She's like so excited
She's like, oh my god. You have to confront him. It's so fun
Do you remember when I said did a lot stuff to Peyton and we never saw her again? Oh, it was the best. Yeah, I nailed it
So yeah, then it's 12 year old. Yeah, we hear some kid screen. What did he say? I don't know. I just
was probably shepp like yelling at a ball on the street and yeah, it was probably some girl
Shepp left on the bike in the street trying to find the house to go into Chelsea's like ready to punch the kid in the face
And I was like, please don't need to come back and egg the house. It's happened before
He's 12 chose like I fulker. I love that no means getting terrorized by a child
and they were so the bad seed. I know we're just talking
New York housewives about not being able to yell at someone's
children, you see, you should be able to yell at someone's
children. Yeah, but that's like if they're egging your house, I think.
Tell me it was just doing it because he was yelling something.
That sounds good to me. So anyway, Danny is at lunch now with her mom.
This is our first Danny with her mom scene.
Right. I mean, like, as Danny, like a full-fledged cast member at this point,
because not only is it her first scene with her mom, it's also like the first Danny only scene and on top of that, you know, last week we mentioned
how Danny got her first-ever interview, not only did she get this scene, but she had an interview
where she had a second look which meant that they interviewed her twice over the course of the
season at the very least. Shocking! Shocking! So Danny is like, she is so nervous. The poor thing, she is like trembling and and she, her mom comes up.
She's like, I ordered you and and unsweetie because I knew you'd like it. I knew you'd like it.
Heads behind the napkin.
Yeah.
And the mom's like, has your love left you alone? Has your art? I've bought all that I can. Hope you start selling some soon.
It's like, geez.
It's like, we're gonna freeze your eggs.
What we're gonna do about this?
I love Southern mothers on Bravo.
I know.
I just want Danny and Gentry just to,
just let's just like accelerate the storyline,
get married, have a cute family,
because you're both pretty.
So like, like, this is it.
This is who Danny needs
Jen trees. Jen trees kind of a cheese bomb. I'm sorry I can't what's that guy he's he's on Instagram
like now. I know that some of you know who I am because of a certain reality show and I'm just
a normal guy not looking for any attention at all.
Which is why I'm doing this Instagram video.
And I'm about to post a picture of my legs and complained about how fast they are and not
at all ready for the public.
I'm like, oh shut up, go sell the car.
I'm not buying him.
Okay, I think point well taken.
But, you know, I mean, I said this base purely on the way they both look Which is really the way how all marriages should be arranged? He's all one color
Mm-hmm. Does that make any sense? Like his face is all one color like his eyebrows are the same colors his skin that are the same color
His lips. Yeah, it's weird. I get it. Sorry. That's a very petty thing to go after but hi my name is Ronnie
That's called watcher crappens
That's a very petty thing to go after, but hi, my name's Ronnie. Hi, it's called Watcher Crappens.
Yeah.
I'm at it him, and I don't know.
I think I'm at it him because he's not dating Danny anymore, and I'm feeling different
to Danny.
Oh, they are.
No, that's so.
I'm at it him now.
I'm at him too.
Fuck him.
He should be dating Danny.
And I'm talking about that.
Even though I just said Danny has stink face.
Well, but it's like, but we said it's a pretty stink face.
And on top of that, I'm, fuck him.
And also,
like,
you know, I think also one of the reasons
why you might have like,
have this like negative feeling towards him
is because his name is Gentry,
like the bourbon.
So, I mean, you know.
Yeah.
That connection's very strong.
It's like as if there was someone on the show
it's like, oh, I'm dating someone in Ravana, like,
like, hmm, I can't like you automatically.
Well, but isn't Gentry,
doesn't Gentry also mean like town folk?
Like the Land of Gentry?
People of the South, social positions, specifically in the UK,
the class of people dexed below the nobility and position in birth.
So, I remember of the Land of Gentry.
So, it just sounds like regular upper middle class.
I'm going to name my son upper middle class normal person. I'm gonna
name my son, Yellman. Yeah, no that is kind of funny. I feel like is there no
other definition for Gentry because I that's the only one that I know. I don't
know the windows closed now. Sorry, it classes over guys. Gentry. Let's talk about
Typhoid Mary shall we? By the way note someone did mention of a stripper in Charleston
Abuse and taffo and Mary's review it is fabulous
So anyway, so Joanna the mom is like it's like so if you thought about freezing your eggs
There's no downsides like mom it costs like
$80,000 or whatever it It's like like I said,
there's no downside. We're rich. We're rich. We're rich. We're rich people. Yes, we're above
gentry. Have I mentioned that? It's not like we're some trashy gentry types. We're rich. There's a
reason why I didn't name you proletariat. So did you tell me, did you say this part about Danny explaining her engagement?
No, I did not talk about it. Okay, so the mom's alright. I've got my that's how my brain is today guys
I need to spread it. Let it out. So Danny's like, um, yeah, my mom's right to the point
I mean I was engaged and she thought she would have crank kids
But when Todd and I were together we weren't agreeing on simple things and he wanted to postpone it and I said no
If you postpone it we're not getting married.
So we're not married.
Good for you, Danny.
Good for you.
Yeah, that's not the one that you marry then.
Because the one that you marry is gonna say,
oh my god, this is so romantic,
we're fighting about small things.
Isn't that what marriage is?
I mean, was I taught wrong?
Exactly.
Also, the one you're gonna marry
is gonna be the one that you fight over,
small shit, like going to target,
and then does not want to postpone the marriage.
Like if you're, if he's like,
oh well, we fought over a stapler target,
and I think we should delay the marriage,
then it's like, okay, you guys are not ready for each other.
Yeah.
So then let's go over to Aiden Fabrics.
Yeah.
The lead of Charleston.
Yeah.
So Craig is. Hello. Yeah, except time of Charleston. Yeah. So Craig is.
Hello.
Hello.
He accept time limits are never ever listened to at all.
Well, um, Carly, I was going to make a ball gown, but here's just some fabric that the
model's holding instead.
Yeah, pretty much.
So he's like, maybe I'll take a thing of that
or maybe that.
It's like, don't you have things
that have already been ordered?
Do you just get to pick out whatever you want to
when people order something from you?
I think what I mean.
People say I want a pillow of any kind.
And he's like, okay.
Here's $100 for a pillow.
Just send me whatever you want.
And he's like, all right, on it.
So Catherine shows up as she just starts crying immediately.
And because she's just like crumbling under the weight of all these issues with, you know, like the reality that basically her baby daddy might be going to jail
and how do you explain that to your child? How's that can impact your children? And I'm gonna have to be a single mother. You know, real weighty stuff, like legitimately weighty stuff.
And Craig's like, we're surrounded by a pretty fabric. It's supposed to be a happy thing.
She's like, um, did you not hear what I was just saying? All that shit with Thomas is like,
overwhelming. Cause the court aid is coming up. I mean, cause, uh, I don't understand how that
affects you. She's like, uh, hello. I'm like, Catherine's so soft, but in her head, I hope in her bed, like bells are just
clinging, you know, it's like, don't, don't, don't, like she's just going crazy in her head.
So like, hello, I'm going to be a single mother who asks to explain to their children,
their father is a sexual assault or anything. Well, it's not like they know how to use the internet.
And they never will. They'll grow up never knowing how to use the internet and never finding out.
It's like, erm, Craig, let me put this to you in a certain way that you'd understand.
Imagine you have a client who's expecting a pillow and then a pillow like that's supposed to be
there in their life. Isn't there anymore because the pillow got into some deep shit like,
Isn't there anymore because the pillow got into some deep shit like can you understand that?
No Okay Craig it's like if you gave somebody a pillow and then somebody else came along and just like
Just slept on that pillow, but it wasn't their pillow. That's terrible
Some running out to someone made two pillows. That's a lot
I'm gonna be put out of business
Catherine's like okay, I'm just crying. Yes, it's fine. She's yeah, yeah, everything's fine
Like everything's fine. Everything's fine. He's like wanna come do a pillow party
Do you want to build a pillow party?
So you Catherine's the last person to ever call when you have any kind of problem in your life,
jeez!
Or maybe the first, to be honest.
So then, Katherine's in an interview and she's talking about all this stuff and how she
has to answer all these really hard questions.
And she's having, like, it's serious.
It's so serious and it is really, really heavy.
But at the same time, she's wearing like a cat woman suit.
I love that she dressed up in like some latex or pleather, like form-fitting black outfit.
To talk about these heavy things, I love it.
She looked great in it, but that's what's always so funny with Cathins.
You just never know when she's just gonna come out of left field with like a baboon look, you know.
Yeah, she's like crawling on the ceiling.
Okay, woman.
Yeah.
So then Anna Hayward and Craig's roommate, what's his name again?
I think his name is Sean.
Craig Anna Hayward and Sean are like getting ready for the party.
And Anna Hayward is a good assistant, but she can only do so much.
Like you can only cater based on your budget.
So she's like, Craig, I got the catering,
chicken nuggets, we're just Craig.
You know that Craig was like,
let's just get some chicken nuggets for the party,
which is like, now why would you get greasy finger food
if you're gonna be sowing pillows?
Like, no one wants to buy a pillow
and it has a bunch of chick-fil-a grease on it.
That's true.
And also, I think that the chicken industry has something going on with TV right now,
because on the Bachelor at all they're doing is eating chicken nuggets everywhere they go.
It's like the weird, like suddenly chicken nuggets are everywhere.
So they're in.
It's the new Brussels sprouts.
It's just weird.
They're fucking everywhere on my TV lately.
I don't know what's going on, but get out of my face.
I'm sure the next top chef, they're going to have a challenge
where they disavow chicken fingers.
Because I feel like top chef every year is like, today
we're talking about food trends.
Last year it was all about kale.
And if I see kale again on a plate, I'm just going to barf like,
kale.
Like, stop being snappy to my kale and Brussels sprouts.
Padma. Yeah, kale and Brussels sprouts. Pat.
Yeah, kale is so over.
They always do that shit.
There was like, oh, you like this food because it's popular right now.
Guess what?
It's over shafts just like gal simons.
I know every time someone makes truffle fries, I'm like, oh, girl, they hate that on.
I think it was nice.
Jella someone was like truffle oil is so over.
And so now I think people are so tacky
when they use truffle oil.
It's like one person said that on the food network.
Okay, the point is Anna's, Heyward is doing everything.
Yeah, she's doing everything.
And she's like, where's Craig?
Is he asleep?
He's like, yep, he's asleep.
So Sean has to wake him up.
Yeah, they wake him up and he's like,
I'm gonna take a shower.
So by the time he comes down,
everything's already done, you know?
Yeah.
And she's like, do you wanna make up Wipecrag?
I mean, he's like, no, I love wearing eyeliner
and girls like it too.
I think I look cool.
I'm doing really cool stuff.
I feel like there's not a lot of straight males
moving into the home where's business.
I'm like, are you really moving into it?
Or you just announcing that you're making pillows and having pepper pots do them all for you
Home where's business doesn't mean you just walk around going where's my home?
Where's my home?
Where I'm where
I'm a home where
I'm where So Cameron arrives and she's like, she's like, she's in a great mood because she knows
she can just talk down to Craig for hours.
So she's like, Craig, you need to take your dog to a obedient school.
Craig, oh these, these, these, these ors, these are paddles on your railing.
Okay, all right.
Well, where's the canoe that goes with him?
Hmm, Craig.
Oh, look, there's a wall right here, Craig. Good didn't put a button off through it Craig. Oh bless your heart
And sungus are you like the mom who comes early to everything?
Like yes, I am okay, now Craig look at these are these are these your pillars and he goes well one of those is my pillow
You choose which one mine is.
I'm like, well, this one looks richer than the others.
And by that, I mean, it's made out of fabric.
The pillows aren't made out of crank.
Okay.
Well, let's see.
This pillow right here looks like it's made from origami paper.
So I'm assuming that's yours paper, yours, Craig.
Nick, that, that.
So she's, so Craig's like, uh, Anna Hayward's been picking
out the fabric.
And she's like, so did you make this or did Anna Hayward make it?
And a not only picked out the fabric, but so did so Cameron it goes
So this is really Anna Hayward's pillow company isn't it just see Anna being like
Told you yeah, we already saw this episode open with Anna making his pillows for oh my god
So we also mentioned that when camera walked in
She's like Craig you look like you have I'll make up on I do
As he goes party
She's like the new item respond so she just said party
She's like okay, well, I don't want to shame him
But I really want to shame him because it's ridiculous.
So I'll just say party.
Yeah, it's like I want to shame him,
but I can't say anything gay
or I'm gonna get in trouble on Instagram.
So I'll just say party.
That's her, that's her safe word.
So Whitney arrives, he's like, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pff Mother pillow and camera is like I'm gonna need Whitney to get contact soon because I cannot look at him in those glasses
But that they could him being in Catherine
So they're like walking around the house and and when he's like hey bro sweet eyeglass case Craig's like
Yeah, those sunglasses are for the girls in the morning when they leave
They're complimentary with your stay here at Craig's sweets. Are you just saying pop here every night?
What the hell Craig which is hilarious because he does have one of those sheena eyeglass
Holders it's like holding 20 pairs of eyeglasses in the kitchen. Okay, sheena. How can I lay pipe? I'm not a plumber
Pillow pipes.
Pipes in the shape of pillows or pillows in the shape of pipes.
Huh.
I'm thinking of being the first straight man who goes into pipewares.
So Chelsea, you know, I was thinking about going into pipes since I got a bunch of pipe cleaners the other day.
And I don't know what to do with them.
So Chelsea comes and says,
what are we doing, pillow fighting?
Pillow pillow on.
You have a lot of fun.
Oh, hey.
Hey, looks like Johnny Depp.
Yeah, you should be wearing leather.
I love it.
Not one single person is going to let him get away with that.
Nope.
They just all keep on looking at his eyes like, what the fuck? And the other rock saying and she's like let him get away with that. Nope. They just all keep on looking at his eyes, like, what the fuck?
And they all walk, say it and she's like,
oh my god, it's so clean in here.
Except for that chipped paint on the door,
you silly person.
And your face, is that eyeliner?
Is that eyeliner?
Poooo.
So it's Cameron's like, quick, do you have eyes?
And with these like, or napkins for food
Mother sensor assistance having more fun than you good one mother
No, I will not kill her mother
I won't do it mother
So then Austin arrives and he's like he brings like various
Hoodies and pullovers and anirax that that has left probably like just around Charleston. He just
Austin just followed the trail of like outerwear that's been left by Craig on the sidewalk.
He's like, I found my way to your place by just following the trail of sweatshirts. So,
here they are. Oh, dude, I was wondering where those were.
Yeah, they'll respond to the donut hole store. uh, Chos is getting annoyed because she's like,
Austin is so, is so nice to my thos,
but he really was just talking shit about me to his girlfriend.
So, I'm just gonna smile at him and be in after his face and return.
Yeah, and Craig's like,
all right, well, I tricked you guys to be coming over because I can't feel my orders.
They're like, oh, dude, come on.
And Whitney's like, call Angie's list.
Yes, that was amazing.
Like, cause does anyone really want a pillow
that was sewn by Austin or a chef?
No, you wake up with a cold sore on your fate.
You know, the side you slept on.
The pillow has a bell in her.
So chefs like,
Oh, it's me, chef shuples are any food and cameras
liking that this is pretty much it.
Great party Craig. Great. Great party. So
most everyone goes outside to the
porch where Anna, Anna Hayward and Sean
are trying to get away from everyone.
So most everyone's out there just
leaving Cameron Whitney and Shep alone,
which makes me happy because when the
three of them get together, it's like
whatever you may think of them, it's for me, it goes out the because when the three of them get together, it's like whatever you may think of them,
it's for me it goes out the window
because the three of them just become so caddy and bitchy,
but in a way that I love,
they just start laughing about Craig and his pillow.
The camera's like,
I don't think Craig even makes these pillows
and when he goes,
oh, what would you want to make pillows?
Who would have a passion for making pillows?
I just stupid. Yeah, and Shep's's like he's not gonna retire on old pillow money
And then they just are like ha ha ha ha ha
There's just like I just put no one's gonna you retire on old pillow money except you if you smother one of your parents
So you get your exorbitant inheritance early you privilege fuck I don't know
I love it because you sort of get the vibe, like the three of them are the
ones who are like at the end of the day getting together and just like talking shit about
everyone and just cracking themselves up.
Like it felt so true to my life.
Yeah.
So then the boys start talking about how they're going to be taking in our V-trip.
Yeah. So then the boys start talking about how they're going to be taking an RV trip.
Yeah, he's like, uh, well, what is this? It's just like a really Nelson tour bus.
And she's like, yeah, like a Willie deal.
We're going to drive towards Vegas and like maybe stop along the way.
He said Vegas, right?
Uh, I thought Nashville.
Oh, okay.
That's a big.
Vegas, maybe Nash Vegas.
So Vegas is a very, very far to be on a RV with Whitney and Shaft.
Yikes.
Yeah, that is a long, that's a long thing.
Maybe they'll use the old tour bus for Renobs, who knows.
So...
So, Chef is a back of Patricia's car.
Yeah.
So, Chef is talking about Austin and Madison and he's like, gosh, if they get back together,
I will disassociate with him.
You know, like he's like, oh, I hate her.
And he's like, oh, I'm Madison.
Gosh, like, what does she have to do?
Stab someone in his family for him
to realize how terrible she is.
Mike Shep, let's just like, let's like pump the brakes
on this one.
Austin is the one who had the three way
Okay, let's not forget that and stuff's just like totally confused by people who have been in a relationship longer than like six hours
You know what?
What the hell so then?
Who comes I put a show arrives. Oh Patricia right I put at I guess I forgot the P.O.L. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And so there's my baby coming out waiting and getting my mom kissing.
Do you need a new new diaper?
Michael, could you please change witness diaper please?
Mother, mother please.
How did you know?
Usually I don't come to these things because it's for the kids, but I've always had a soft
spot for Craig.
He can be a knucklehead, but he's an endearing knucklehead.
Plus, I just wanted to see what sort of hovel he lives in.
It's terrible in here.
For Craig, he's excitedly showing her his pillow shop and how he makes his pillow
So there's all these crab pillows since she has you know Craig I like my crab pillow
But I think there's a limited audience for grabs and Whitney goes what about chef
Whitney is on a tear so now a captain arrives and there's like more people in hugging and things like that and ultimately Austin and Chelsea are
Left alone in the back. So there's tension there
But there's also tension in the living room because Danny and Catherine have this very awkward
Friend of me hug so suddenly the pillow party is fraught with emotion
Yeah, so and then Cameron does the usual thing.
This is what we do in the South.
We kiss and pretend and hug everything.
Pretend everything's fine, even though inside we want to
clap each other's eyes out.
I don't know if I would say this is clawing yet.
It's like you were late and now I'm sad that you called me late.
So Chelsea, so Chelsea, we start with Chelsea.
She pulls a paramount, which I love.
I love that she does this. I'm, you know, we said it last week. pulls a paramount, which I love. I love that she does this.
I'm, you know, we said it last week.
I'm like really loving Chelsea this season.
So she's sitting back there on the porch with Austin, she goes, come sit right here.
Come sit right here, which is such a, like, a low key paramount.
She's like, I am not standing up.
You come to me, which is great.
I'm like, yes, Chelsea, make them walk to you.
And yeah, principals office.
She's like, nah, we're going to round small towns. I won't make it clear.
Madison sends me screenshots. If you talk to shit about me, why are you talking shit about me to your girlfriend?
He's like, you're peaking scene. Are we having a tiff right now? I was like a drunken. It was like a drunken, uh, something like that.
Yeah, take your drunken whatever and shove it up your ass because that ain't get that ain't gonna be an excuse
And he Austin just at that point just flares his tongue like
Like all over his like yeah, his tongue starts like trying to catch flies not even trying to catch flies like trying to like punch flies
It's like yeah
And she's like that and it wasn't a one-time thing either.
Surrendent text from a month ago and he's like,
what the fuck?
See?
Why is she sending me to the text?
She's like, why are you talking about me?
Like, he cares who sent me to the text.
You're talking shit about me.
Yeah, so then, and by the way, everyone's like watching them fight from inside.
So Chelsea's like, you know, you're wearing a rib-out sunt something and he's like, well, to be honest,
I just, I felt real rooted by you last year and we see, we see clips from the reunion
where she, Chelsea was basically saying, like, yeah, I had to pay for every meal because
you's too cheap, which I totally forgot about.
So I love that that resurfaced.
Yeah.
And he's like, I thought we had each other's backs and she's like oh the things I said
I would sit here and talk to you about it to your face
Would you sit here and talk about my sex drive?
Would you sit here and talk about how Tom a boyfriend is and he's just like so beat, you know
It's like I can't wait to just get this over with so I can go talk about this behind her back to somebody and act like you know
I said something of importance here.
Exactly.
So inside, Shep is now sitting next to Patricia, and he's, he is still trying to get people
onto his side that Madison is the devil.
So now he's trying to make his pitch to Patricia.
But like, whereas he said to everyone else, like, gosh, Madison is just like the worst.
She's the eyeball call.
With Patricia, he like knows that Patricia likes her.
So he's like trying to be all like like all friendly about it
But he's like nervous who's like oh, well, you know like she's like the worst right Patricia, right?
It's a betrayal trust right right? She's like yeah, but on the other hand
She should he shouldn't have said what he said you dumb fuck so proceed over there. Let me talk to my baby witness sad
He's like she goes you think he really said those things. She's do you think you really said that things and check us
What you can screenshot text messages?
So she screen shot at them and then she sent them to Chelsea and Patricia goes oh wow
Oh wow. Woohoo! I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like basically Chelsea bat outside is like, you know what?
The times I felt the most unhappy at the times.
I'll say things I've regretted. So you wouldn't happy right now.
And he's like, yeah, life isn't easy.
And he basically is like, you know, I shouldn't have involved
you. You're like really so nice. And like you're so nice.
Even give me the time of day. So I apologize.
And she's like, I know you have a good heart, a good cheating heart, you know.
So I forgive you. But like heart, a good cheating heart, you know, so I forgive you
But like don't talk about my man because things will get ugly and my man definitely does exist
Okay, he absolutely does and you will see him in three years from now when I finally see you
You better watch out any bar you go into three point two years. Yeah, so
Inside Patricia's like so has this a pillow party Craig
Wow, we're partying and you're sitting on pillows. So I think it's pretty a self-explanatory. Yeah, sick. Okay. I'm out of here by
I did my time with the poor people. Yeah
So Austin is back in and he's acting like he
just got completely reamed and drinking from the bottle and stuff. And Austin
camera gets mad. Where did you learn from that? And he says, well, I learned not to
say nasty things to people who take screenshots of them. So like how bad
just not saying nasty? You see, fucking guys never learned. I know. Exactly. Also
with they never learned, someone's like, hey, Kim, when
are we going to rage at your house?
She's like, never.
What are you guys going to learn?
You're never going to shoot in Cameron's house, ever, ever.
Yeah.
She's like, we caught one crab in a trap last week,
and that was basically an all-nighter for us, OK?
Garsh, don't bring me back to that.
It hurt so much. So Austin's all depressed and ships like dude stop look at you. You're mr. Fun good times
You really need a reset. It's like I don't I think ship is the only person
There's never called Austin mr. Happy fun good times
times. I would agree. We have to have another intervention. So they're like, band trip, boy trip, whatever. Yeah, whatever. So then Chelsea is hanging with
Danny and she's asking Danny if she's doing, are you doing good with Katherine?
Things going better and Danny's like, well, we haven't really talked, you know,
sting face, but you know, at least my mom wants it by my art.
Yeah.
And she's like, well, I don't blame her because I really
reamed her. I did. I reamed her.
It's like, you're good friend. And I know, see, Nate,
Jay,
Catherine passes. She goes, what's up? What are you guys
talking about?
By the way, Catherine's in like her leather, you know,
Catherine really is like Sandy from Greece.
Like she's so innocent one minute. And the next second she comes out not black leather
That's not a good
Bueller Bueller don't bark we're singing Greece you're the arm that I want that's why he's part of me
Army You're the one I really arm
The one I
The one I
Then she just flies off in a
I love Greece But they fly off in in the end again. They like literally fly off of like a Ferris wheel or something
They do they think how to how to air balloon is something like that the end
They're oh we better have the answer to this because we're gonna be getting emails and texts and and tweets all all week long
Don't they they're like on a Ferris wheel
and they like wave goodbye and like fly off
into the sky or something?
I don't remember that part.
Okay, we'll workshop that one.
Yeah, but all I know is Catherine is that Sandy.
She's like leather Sandy.
So she's like,
um, what were you guys talking about,
erm, and they're like,
um, are oh, about old trip.
And she, oh, okay, God, sorry. I didn't forgot what voice I was like
Sorry, I forgot where I was in my nose and I saw like three different names
I just switched the three names really quick
They're catching like got it so she's mad and they're like guys we were saying nothing by it's like I'm good guys I'm good
look at me I'm Catherine D
so then Danny and Chelsea are like come on well'll say good things and Danny's like are you gonna talk to us
Catherine? I'm good. I'm actually I'm upset
Oh my god girls come on
Yeah, seriously. Oh by the way because I knew we were gonna get we were gonna get calls about this or tweets about this the end for the entire week
The ending of Greece is that they go out there in a car and the car drives off into the sky.
Oh okay.
Because I know people I'm sorry I had to like close that loophole because we would never hear
the end of it. They're literally in a car that flies away and by the way that doesn't make sense.
That doesn't make sense.
That's sort of nice.
I mean what sort of fantasy are they paddling?
That's almost like the fantasy of Happily Ever After with David.
Uh!
You're the one that I want to leave me again.
Oh God damn you!
Ha!
Shannon Bador local film critic for the Orange County Register.
I don't understand this movie.
They're happy.
There's no such thing as happiness.
Ah!
Except me, hey now!
Greece! Greece Fire, maybe! Ha! Ha! There's no such thing as happiness except me. Hey now Grease grease fire maybe
Grease that's more like that's are we talking about grease the movie or what's in the sauce at this cash row pub?
So Catherine's mad, but she's like not she's refusing to talk to the girls and Chelsea's like I'm leaving
She's like well, this is bullshit. I'm out of here. here. I already yelled at Austin. That's what I came to do. So she leaves and then Danny goes out on
the porch and starts crying. Yeah. And so Chelsea's like, I forgot my case. Why you crying, Danny?
And then Danny's like, I'm such a good friend. And then we see like a montage of like Danny
actually being a great friend to her, etc
So I mean yeah, basically there's like this whole thing where like Katherine kept on doing that like I'm not upset
I'm not upset. I'm not upset which when she's like clearly super super upset, etc
So then Chelsea's like oh, I'm not gonna leave. I'm not gonna leave while Danny's crying on the steep, okay?
So she's gonna try to force a conversation between
Danny and Catherine inside.
Yeah, so she comes in saying,
she's crying out there and Catherine's like, I don't care. Okay, I forgot. Oh, yeah. No, that's coming up.
So she's like, I don't care. And she goes, you sure she's been a good friend.
She goes, I haven't done anything to her. And he's like, well, it's smart to like give a shit about your friends so like work it out and cathode goes um you know
it's smart just being me which I feel like that's like that's could be a bumper sticker someday
you know it's smart being me it's smart to be me and he's like well I know that there was strife
created and I don't know the whole story about it but I know that there was strife created. And I don't know the
whole story about it. But I know that some TN wouldn't like it. That's for sure. And
she gets you know what? I'm dumb because now she's against her. So she's like, that's
it. I'm going home to my family. And Danny's like kind of smears behind her. She goes,
you should. Oh, gosh, you can't get angry at people's general concern
Support everything like a child's doctor. I know I have general concern about the upsetiveness of the irrelevance of your son-su
So it's like Jamie's been a good friend or this is nuts and captain's like fine. Bye
Yeah, she's like why you are you being such a dude?
She's like, she's a fucking child man.
Garsh!
Yeah, and so that's where it ends.
It's like this huge fight.
We just went from New York where everyone's like,
Garsh!
You drunk apple all day for that!
For like my fiance died of a drug overdose
and you haven't asked about me to like,
Hey, why are you being mean to Danny?
Well that brings us to the end of Southern Charles.
Southern Charles, but since it is Friday and we haven't done it for like two or three
weeks, it's time to do some crap in's mailbag is when you write questions to us or comments and we read them on the
air.
It's on patreon.com slash watch for crap ins and support at the mailbag level or higher.
We have a question here from the first question.
We'll do two questions.
Julia Conlon says, imagine Bravo was casting Bravo Lebrides
to head to Peak Skill to work at Edna's Edibles
for its new Facts of Life inspired reality show.
They at least need Mrs. Garrett,
Belaire, Tutti Joe, Natalie,
and George the handyman types.
Thanks.
So who would basically be each person
on Facts of Life from Bravo?
Let me see. Mrs. Garrett. So who would basically be each person on the facts of life from Bravo? Um...
Let me see.
Mrs. Garrett.
That-
That-
J-
Oh!
That almost sounds like Lydia from Orange County, but I feel like it would be Patricia, but I feel like maybe there's another older-
Patricia, it's someone like super like-
Oh, come on kids.
I feel like maybe Dale maybe
Tinsley's mom Dale could be Mrs. Garrett. She's got too much snot to her too. She does kind of look like a Mrs. Garrett.
But you know, I'm gonna take a little too sweet. Who are Mrs. Garrett types? It's so hard like we always say like it's so hard to remember.
They don't have to be make that a carrot tie. Maybe like, you know, Captain Sandy.
Yeah, Captain Sandy would be good
because she'd be warm.
She made 2D Blair Joe.
Nat, you know what?
I made us some dinner tonight.
We're doing it family style in every bull is hugs.
OK.
Blair seems like I feel like Blair would be Cameron from Southern
Trump or Luan.
I think that Cameron's a good one.
Yeah.
She seems very Cameron.
Tudy could literally be Tudy.
Like Kim Fields was on Real House of Atlanta.
So Tudy could actually just be Kim Fields.
Yeah.
Joe is Barbara from Real House of New York. I feel like maybe there's someone on like below deck that Joe was, like some like,
like Connie from that one season or.
I don't know.
I'm going back, going deep.
And Natalie, who is Natalie?
Do we even, does Natalie even exist in the Bravo world?
Um, let's think here.
Natalie would be...
I'm trying to go through all my shows here.
I might not.
I remember what's on.
Like, is Natalie, is there someone maybe from Potomac
who oddly is Natalie?
Natalie, and here's, here me out.
I think Natalie might be kind of a
Kenya more only because Natalie was not evil or aggressive like Kenya or fat like all with the
wind fabulous none of that none of those qualities. But one thing she has in common with her is that
she lasts at her own jokes but tries not to because you know how Natalie would like have a joke and
then she'd like try and stop from laughing. And that's how Kenya is too, even in serious scenes when she's like, when she's like supposed to be mad,
she'll say something so funny,
but then stop herself from cracking up.
And it's always reminded me of Natalie.
There's also like a quality of like,
Sheena in Natalie.
Like wasn't Natalie's whole thing
with that she was sort of like a tattletail
or something like that.
It was just a tattletail.
I kind of feel like that's a sheenah thing.
Yeah.
OK, that works.
What else is in that mailbag, Bian?
Well, let's just continue with the 80s sitcom theme
with a question from the Queen of Tars.
They're actually called the Quintanars,
but I was called the Quintanars, who we met in Chicago
a few years ago.
Hopefully we'll see them again soon.
They ask, I realize the mailbag isn't a request line or piano bar, but if you're up for it,
where have you been? Dance, monkey dance. So they say, but if you're up for it can we please hear how Luan would
cover the theme song to Mr. Belvedere. If we could do it all over again that
would have been the song for our first dance at our wedding. That is very romantic. Before who cares my life? Oh, but when you drop kick your jacket as he came to the door
No one glared
But sometimes things get turned around in my round house
All hands look out below
There's a change in this side. It's cool. I've got a ray
Gonna need all the help that we could get.
According to our new arrival, life is more than mere survival.
We just might live a good life. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da the new theme song. It's like when Carly Rae japs into the new Duck Tales theme song.
That's exactly the same.
Well you guys that brings us the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening. We're gonna see you all on Monday. Be sure to get your tickets because they're on sale right now and
then you know get ready for Monday when Chicago tickets go on sale. Yay!
And we're gonna be announcing three new cities on Tuesday.
So big fun times.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, prime members.
You can listen to Watch Your Crappens,
Add Free on Amazon Music.
Download the Amazon Music app today.
Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast.
Before you go, tell us about yourself
by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
day. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go
to tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash
survey.