Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Simply THE WORST EVER

Episode Date: June 2, 2018

We are dumbfounded by the depths of Ashley's awfulness on "Southern Charm." In a situation like this, there's only one thing to do: DRAG HER ASS. Come listen to our recap for a complete, occasionally nonsensical dragging. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is, who's the crap is Who's the crap crap crap crap crap crap Who's the crap crap is, watch what crap is Hey everyone and welcome to Watch Your Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and it's just a lovely, lovely Friday here in the world of Crapins, also known as Earth.

And joining me on this wonderful day is the guy who, you know what, he is the boss. He is the boss. Good chat, Ronnie. Good chat. It's Ronnie Karam, who also is famously from Roseprix Bachelor of Podcast, Slash Rost. What's going on? Well, hello, man. How's it going?

Good. I mean, I got my pitch fork ready. Yeah. I'm ready to go after some people. But before we do on this Southern Chombie Extradaganza, first, some quick shills. We are doing our live shows. We've had a few weeks off, which has been deliriously

sleepfully amazing. But we are going back out in a couple of weeks. We're going to be in Phoenix and then San Francisco right in our own Phoenix. We're doing Grill Housewives of New York City. Yeah. I and then in San Francisco for gay pride

weekend, we are doing a Southern Charm gay Pride show. So dress accordingly, there will be prizes from Leeoflack.com. Get your face lifted and a bun! I mean, how fun will it be to basically be in a room with 400 of your people just talking shit about this Ashley girl? I mean, come on, everyone.

How do you not show up to the San Francisco show? I mean, seriously. Seriously? Seriously? Oh, seriously, seriously, seriously. Oh, it's gonna be fabulous. And also, you're too nervous. We have a new limited t-shirt out for the month. For the month of June, the limited t-shirt is, what's the matter?

What's going on with that? What's happening? What's going on? The Bethany shirt from Real Housewives of New York City. That is only up for a few weeks. So go over and get it. You can find a link at watch atcrapins.com or just go to crappinsmerch.com, guys.

And thank you to everybody who supports those shirts. That shirt is amazing. I can't wait, I can't wait for mine to come in. I'm so excited for it. And by the way, there is still, there's like a little bit of merchandise left on Amazon. And once it's gone, it's gone. But like there's like one coffee mug left. So if you want

it, get it because it's Amazon Prime. So it's basically like free shipping. So like, yeah, go get it. Enjoy it. Because that stuff is gone. And so while your Amazon. Yeah, when you go to crappensmerch.com, you will also find all of our new watch what crappin shirts and stuff. Yeah. Different sizes and colors and stuff like that. So don't worry about that. We've got lots of lady sizes. We've got baby onesies now. I'm gonna come on.

We are just, we're talking to everybody. Yeah, we moved over to a threadless engine. And so basically it offers like a lot more colors and shapes and sizes and everything. So it's like a lot more flexibility. So don't worry, they're still merch. Just that the Amazon merch is running out. So, if you wanna fill out your order,

so that we can get that like $35, so you get the free delivery, or the same day delivery, whatever, fill it out with a mug, you know? Do it. You know what, I wanna fill out? I wanna fill out my heart by just going in on this Ashley Chick.

Wow, what an episode of Southern Charm. It was unrelenting with this girl, unrelenting. Wow. And we have heard, you know, I watched the first half last night at the second half today, but even before, like, hours before, I even sat down. Man, the tweets were rolling in about this girl. Wow, people are enraged and just

a fight. So yes, people are losing it. And yesterday we recorded our video. So our our digital television style over a TV party at. And I was saying on that show, gosh, you know, everyone's so mean to Ashley and she is a jerk, but she's everyone's being so mean to her. It makes me not want to be mean to her And then I came home directly after and watch his show and was like Ronnie really yeah Grow up here. Those women is awful. She's awful like she is she is top 10 awful on problems She is she might be a top five or it actually I was surprised that you had that that moment of empathy That's like a bend move you know but yeah I was thinking about it that there's

something really so craven and terrible about her she's you know she's first of all she's deranged she is she seems mentally unhinged she's like calculating in a way that's not even fun like I love a calculating bitch like to me that's the best I will, always stand for Linda Fiorentino in any movie she does, because she always plays a calculating bitch. But I don't like, it's someone who is just so obvious about their plans.

Like, we're perfect together. Like, literally, if you propose to me tomorrow, like, I would say yes. Like, it's not even calculating it. It's just desperate and sad. And it's like when you're here. It's like when you're at the El Paso state carnival, not state carnival, but you know, the carnivals come through and we'd be, you

know, I'd go as a kid with my family. And people are trying so hard to win these shit prizes. It's like, it's like a bear with holes in it. You know, they probably found it some dumpster somewhere. And they're spending so much money trying to get enough tickets to get this holy disgusting bear. Yeah, probably stained, you know, and that's what just reminds me of. It's like, why are you trying so hard at the ghetto ask or the low rent carnival? Sorry, I shouldn't say that to get to get this price.

Thomas is the holy bear. Okay. The bear, the stained bear with holes in it probably smells. Yeah. And she's the sort of person who thinks that she has like, she's better in life because she got the little ring around the bottle, the bottle top. You know what, the thing is this, she is not only she's terrible,

she also does her makeup terribly wrong. You know, like at least try to do have good makeup if you're gonna be crazy, okay? And I mean, no bad makeup goes along with being crazy. Like, you can only be crazy if you have bad makeup, you know, like, that's part of being crazy. But honestly, the top trying to make us seem like, like, we're never gonna come to your side if you're gonna have that crazy anchor lady face. Okay, it's like anchor lady meets it. All right.

I meet my villains to have hot oil treatments. Okay. Yeah. I don't like some straw-haired villain. She's also actually make an effort. If you're going to be a villain, you need to read some Sydney Sheldon books. You need to learn the slime manipulation. You need to get some hot oil treatments or some scrunchies, whichever you prefer and stop torturing me with your bad villainy because I can't take it.

I was raised on very good villainy, quality villainy. Yeah, I mean, she literally has the hairstyle of a water buffalo. You know, like the way it's like parted in the middle. I mean, of course, a lot of people have their hair part down the middle, but hers really speaks of water buffalo. The other thing is that she's- Oh, you're missing a fly on your face. But she's certainly chewing some cudd,

if not many other things. The other thing is that she is basically, she makes women hate women. She's part of the problem. You know, they always say women are always a catty to women, women always tell each other down. And she's the reason why, because you know what? You watch a lifetime movie and you say,

these lifetime movies, they just prey on women's fears and they make, you know, these are, this is ridiculous. This would never happen. And then you mean Ashley and you realize she is every villain from every lifetime movie. Yeah, but you know how lifetime movies have either the villain who's the man or the villain who's a woman and usually it's a man and he's like by the he seems perfect at first and then he's chasing you with scissors by the end of the movie, you know, and if it's a woman

it's like the woman wants to steal your life, you know, sorry, but usually this yes, this has both it has both. It has both. It has Thomas chasing you with scissors. And then it's got Ashley chasing you with scissors. It's like, you can't both be chasing people with scissors. Learn your villainy. Again, like just someone needs to teach villainy to these idiots. But that actually makes me like them.

When you say it like that, because it's like, oh my God, how hilarious that two lifetime villains found each other. Because they never, villains never find each other. They find good people how hilarious that two lifetime villains found each other. Because they never, villains never find each other, they find good people. So these two lifetime villains found each other. It's like monsters, Inc. You know, it's like, yeah, oh, you know, they're monsters, but like they have personalities too

when they have to like go to work. You know, it's like these like lifetime villains, Inc. You know? Yeah, but who's the, who's the, you know, who's gonna be the person, who's the hero, you know? Because it's gonna take a very strong hero to take both of those two down, you know, because at the end of the lifetime movie, someone ends up pushed off the roof, then they get back up and run a little bit,

and then you finally wrestle the scissors from their hands, which you're like, how are you still holding scissors when I just push you off the roof, you know, then you finally get them, then you drown them, then you burn them, it's like a million different things you have to go through. And Catherine, Catherine's not high energy enough to take these people both. Yeah. I demand Tori spelling. Come on this.

Yeah, we need someone from like the 90s or like like made aughts who was maybe on a network procedural to come in and kick ass. Like in the Elizabeth Rome, maybe a Marg Heligan burger, although she may be too high profile. But like maybe someone else who had like a small role on CSI, like that other lady. Oh yeah, Mark Helinberger got too much CSI,

like you know she's not just like, she was barely moving her flashlight around by the end of her tenure there. Yeah, we need, what's the name of the woman who was on NCIS and then she was in Bruce Almighty, her, or maybe a Lauren Holly, a Lauren Lauren Holly I would not be mad at Elizabeth Marie Combs. Is that her name? Maybe like Christine Lottie. Do you remember that one?

I mean Christine Lottie couldn't even go outside like she had to state she was a Gora phobic and so she had to stay inside Excuse me. Excuse me. You refer to her as Academy Award winner Christine Loddy, please. I've referred to her as the good wife, continuing guest star, Christine Loddy. So just one up your Oscar with a good wife, reference. Sorry. You're right, but we do need someone like that. We need someone to come in. Someone we forgot about, like who's, who's still sort of, like, like, oh yeah, I remember when she was a DA on one of the law and orders. Yes. Oh Angie Harmon. Angie Harmon would be great. Angie Harmon

would really take her down. Really take down Ashley. I like that. Yeah I need Angie Harmon and Torrey spelling together because you need two people. I don't think Torrey spelling could do it. I think she's got a lot of crazy juice now. Like she's just losing it in public. She's falling on her body. She fell on her body. She fell on her body. She cannot. She's still alive. She can take it. I mean, the woman survived a herbachi grill. Well, no, no, here's the thing. Ashley will be, Ashley's gonna be you know, Tori Spelling will come up from be like, what is, what is wrong with you? Why are you doing this? I'd be like, how about this? Why don't you just go fall on a grill again? And then she just like shoves her into the mud like as you will do that like Tories

spelling is not oh you know who'd be good? Um Jack Bauer's wife from season one of 24 Leslie Hope Uh, I don't heard what Terry Bauer I don't think we're allowed to pick people who get killed in their first season because like they automatically don't win like that's like the definition of not winning okay how about neena from twenty four uh... okay no if it's gonna be twenty four i want it to be like the lady president

or the late jerry jones cherry jones could take her cherry jones could take her with the stern but oh you, you know who might be good? Penny Johnson Gerald. She was she was David Palmer's wife Trusted a promise wife. Oh, yeah, but didn't she go crazy? Sure, no, that was that was a chick from designing women. Oh, well, she I mean other firstly. She's smart. She's smart We totally take down Ashley.

She would be she's always having an nervous breakdown. Okay, we've got to stop lifetime because this is this is this is this is a really long up. But we all need this. We all need to discuss this because Ashley is definitely top five. And maybe let's circle back. Maybe next week, maybe on our TV party app thing, we can talk about Bravo villains because as of right now, it's hard for me to remember someone that was like this deeply despicable.

Except, I mean, Stasi, her, the first episode of Interprompuros, I mean, Stasi was, Stasi was almost as bad as this girl. Yeah, but Shina kind of deserved it. I mean, I know that we have hindsight now, but you know, looking back on it, she kind of did deserve it. Like all the people Stasi took down kind of deserved it at the end. I mean, Jacks, I mean, at Kristen, like everyone deserved it. But Catherine, what did Catherine even do to you, lady? Like she had babies with somebody that you like. Yeah. She didn't buy it. Yeah, awful. Well, let's dive into it. Let's dive in because it's a super sized episode.

And there was just, it's like wall to wall content. And we also want to touch on Southern charm in New Orleans afterwards. So we got a lot, and the mail bags. We got a lot to get into. So no more dilly-dallying. Let's jump in. The show opens up as usual with a tricky,

monical musical moment where we see what, like, previously on Southern charm. And it's like, tricky to be like, usual with a tricky monical, you know, musical moment where we see what like previously on something, John. And it's like, tricky, be like, anyway, who's in the known SS makes kids go, no go. But, buddy, um, Trixie had some odd, some odd moments in here. And, um, for everybody, we know that me, a stable is the writer of the song on here on here and she's very talented and we're not trying to like take her Talent away from her and give it to some random person. We made up. Okay Trixie Monaco in our mind

Began on ladies of London yes as the songwriter and then took over every show on Bravo So yeah in our minds Trixie Monaco is this badass English chick who just makes all the music Well, she's the queen of royalty free music that Bravo plays from show to show. She's got two toned hair that's still kind of in the Jennifer Aniston cut sometimes a little bit. She'll crimp it. Yeah, yeah, she has a gene jacket.

Yeah, she wears bandanas in her hair sometimes like she doesn't have a long Madonna sometimes. Yeah, yeah, she she she was part of a band. Did you know that she was once part of a band? It was a war. Yeah. Three armed octopus. Yes. But then she like pulled a Stevie Nicks and like kind of slept with everybody and then everybody got on Matater and then you know, so they broke up. But they still get back together sometimes for like a good old reunion at the Hollywood Bowl. Yeah, like in the parking lot there. And so she, she really feels like she was robbed of Stardom because that band, that band, like she was, she was

pushed out because essentially like she, you know, she, she saw herself as the star of the band. And then they were like listen, you're causing too much problems. Like you know, I could do without you, I could do without you. And now she's talking the world of royalty free music. And she's pushing the envelope. She's like, you know, I could do without you. I could do without you. And now she's talking the world of royalty-free music. And she's pushing the envelope. She is like, she's really pushing the envelope lately. She's changed Bravo music forever. Bravo music has never been better.

And then she's doing things like, I need different orchestras for different shows. And so she's always running up against budget issues. Like this particular season of Southern Charms, she got a banjo player in one time and it ruined her budget and so she's had like stoop really low. So basically I brought this up because people are asking who she is and also because Trixie really is trying for that banjo budget in this episode and I just hope she gets it. I hope so too. I mean the thing is that she's

been chasing. She's been chasing the highs that she hit on on Lady London with her seminal song God save the queen God save the queen. And guess what the queen is me. The queen is me. It's hard to top it and she's been chasing that she's been chasing that fame. Everyone's like when is Trixi going to come out with, you know, like when is she going to hit those highs again? Is she a one-trick pony? And so here she is trying to change a percent on Southern charm. Yeah. So here we are back in defusky.

Or defusky. I'm really glad we could. Yeah, I mean, neither to be said. Okay. I was like, what's her? Yeah. No. First let's talk for 20 minutes about the trick. Now, so here we are in Grace, super Skyland. Defusky. And they did, did you notice the closeup on the side? No crying or cat or wall in it any time? Sure it is. They're laughing too.

So we are back at this fight, which is, you know, Ashley, sorry about your grandma, but you're a bitch because no, no, no, no, no. So she is just mouthing off. Yeah. And she starts threatening to tell everybody all this gossip that she knows about Catherine and raising the kids. Yeah, she's saying things like,

you guys don't even know. You guys don't even know. I mean, those kids, when they come back from weekend with Catherine, they don't sleep. They don't even sleep. And then I almost don't even sleep. And then I almost didn't even follow this because Catherine's like, well,

that's because I only have them for two days or whatever. I didn't know what was happening. I just knew that. It's just saying of course they don't sleep. They're traumatized. They come to me for two days, then you guys take them back and it's like they're traumatized, you know?

But also, just some advice, you probably shouldn't leave your cook bags just lying around because you know that could get on the baby skin That they're probably like jumping up and down for like weeks on end those poor little babies So Craig and chef are just like watching. It was a Craig and shepherd Craig and Austin. I don't remember. They're just watching from a far away Yeah, I just the boys. They're watching from fun Craig's like, uh should I should I go should I go over there? from Craigslist. Should I go over there? Well, Nomi's over there. So like, if Nomi waves me over, Nomi wouldn't wave you over if she was on fire. No, you'd probably bring some yarn. You'd probably bring some like, you'd probably bring a singer sewing machine

and try and sew her fingers together to make a better fan to put that out the firecrack. So I heard that like when you're on fire, you should stop dropping rolls. So here's like a ball of yarn because it like rolls really well. Like Craig, I'm literally burning alive right now and I think I'd rather just like burn than listen to you right now. You idiot. Oh, you're like a few French. Yeah. So cash sets like cars.

It's not really anyone's place to get in between two ladies. So then we go back to Ashley and she's like, what's scary is that you are getting more time with them. That is scary. And this starts like doing this flip of her thing. She's like flipping the water buffalo hair back. She's like, it's like onh, shh, shh. It's like almost like a cloak, you know?

It's a double-handed flip, yes. Yeah, it's like it's very annoying. And it would be like, how about like, yes, it's just, I don't like it. Yeah, but it's like making a blanket out of straw and then just like flicking you in a fireplace. It's gonna go, it's gonna start on fire, okay? Stop flicking your hair.

And also get a weave because this is a typical housewives' move, and especially like a Beverly Hills or Atlanta move, where they get really mad and they either start pulling at their weave or wig, or they start flipping their hair or wig. And so if you're going to do that, get rid of the straw hot oil. Yeah, or how about this ponytail? Ponytail works, but you know what it's just a temporary fix. It's not really a fix. It's like a temporary camouflage. I don't know. It's like it's just amazing that like everything about this one is terrible. From the thickness of her hair to the way she flips it back, it's just she just a proper villain would know how to

use that hair to her advantage to really like make a point with that hair You know yeah, like we're trying to help her like we're giving advice to somebody who doesn't who doesn't need help They need to be shut down. Okay, let think of this last year on survivor There's this one girl named Mikael and she had long long braids and she was like she was so moody I loved her and at one point there's some guy I thought that he was gonna like boat her out and somehow the everything turned and that guy wanted to be boated out and but through tribal council he was acting all cocky so when it came time to like when the boats were being like red like in his name was coming up she was sitting in front of him and she just like whipped her head to the right and all her braids just like slapped me across the knees.

It's like that's how you use hair. Yes, that's what that's what Ashley needs. Lots of braids. That will make people like their more. Yeah, that's what they like. Corn Rose. That will be that'll be great when she comes out with corn Rose. She would too.

This monster under her mega hat. Yeah. Rose she would to the monster under her mega hat. Yeah, she would. So Catherine now I love when Catherine is just furious because her voice raises to this. Shut the fuck up you hear me? No, she don't tell her short because she's normally like, um, no, and then she's like, you better shut the fuck up. Do you hear me? I was like, that's like the crazy Catherine that we remember and it's being used for good, which I like and Ashley Butch yourself hair flick butch yourself hair flick It's like or what yeah, he says don't threaten her

Miss slow roller roll your roll slower slowly roll roll slow slow and then she's yeah The Danny just give Tammy a job already. I mean, if she hasn't earned it in the past 20,000 seasons, she's earned it today. I know. Well, I think Danny and Naomi, I don't know why they're not, like, main cast members, especially Naomi. Naomi is so central to the season, and she brings it.

And I love her eye rolling. Like, she has an attitude that should not be as entertaining as it is. But like, I love it. Every single time she rolls her eyes or berates Craig or berates anyone, I'm like standing evasion. I mean, at the very least she's brought evil French too. She's brought abusive French too.

So that's how it's like. I love. Yeah, I'm so glad someone's tearing apart romantic French. So Ash is like, you know what, Catherine, I just don't respect you. It's like, oh, like, like who the fuck cares? Who you respect, okay? Like who the, like did anyone ask you?

Ashes who you respect is in one care, who gets into Ashes' book of respect. That's probably written in like stamps, because like hand stamps, because you probably can't write. How about that? Yeah, I sure, he just trying to like get money from one of your old hospice patients. God

I love you internet by the way allegedly. Oh really? No one's asking you Ashley, okay? So Austin's like oh Guides, Roovoo someone should you know, maybe step in like Thomas should step in I think and then Dan you hear Tom Danny's like Thomas Thomas, shut her, the fuck up, Thomas. He's like, well, anyone wanna may a hand meal? Yeah. But anyone like to discuss how you have to pay extra for a side salad instead of French fries? And this is the man who actually wanted

to run for public office. You know, like here, he asked, like, do something like show some sort of like leadership here in this situation and he's like Well, you know, what's funny about this island is that he'll need an island to and it's not a mountain and I like islands both the geographical formation and the restaurant Yeah, he solves nothing He's like the mayor who brings red light cameras to town and then has to go to a city hall meeting about red light cameras

And it's like well, you know, maybe we should do something about those red light cameras You brought the red light camera to town, Thomas and yes, actually I did just compare you to a red light camera That is how low you are Sun And One of those red light cameras that also goes off if you make it right on red, but you don't stop long enough before you do it. I mean, not that it's happened to me because I'm a very good driver.

But you know, there's sneaky red light cameras that do that, and that's what she is. She is a sneaky red light camera. Yeah, you're just going along with your life and then suddenly you get a bill for $500 from Ashley. Yeah, you don't need to know what it's for. She's like a fucked up red light camera where it just goes off and you're like wait a second

I wasn't I like wasn't I've stopped I wasn't even in the intersection but it goes off anyway I keep going off and you're like stop stop flashing at me you're wrong So the red light camera has the nerve to stand up to everybody and so our How everybody had the nerve to stand up to her when she's trying to take down Catherine and so now she's really mad Now she's really flicking the hair and she's doubling down. So she tells Catherine, well, you know, people did warn me

about being in this relationship with Thomas and it's because you're involved. Yeah, it's the only reason why people have warned me against eating Thomas because you're part of the situation. You know, a, I mean, I actually do kind of believe that because Catherine has had a track record of being real crazy

She has really gone she's gone her shit together, but let's not forget there were seasons there Remember there were seasons where I was like very anti-Catherine I was like she's a crazy bitch and she is manipulative and like she needs to be cut out I was I know I said that stuff and I have now I've changed my tune as is my right as a podcast But also though like you know what else you should be warned about Ashley? Thomas Ravennell, how about that? How about this man is he, as a felon? How about he is terrible? How about he has like a, just like, like, a, like, a, just a wake of destruction in his path? How about, I mean, and now there's these new rape allegations, which

are very, very serious. How about all that? And like now there's these new rape allegations which are very, very serious. How about all that? And like Catherine's the problem? Just, yeah, flick your, flick your water buffalo hair. Oh, do you know who else, do you know who else deserves a piece of it? Deedra, you fucking asshole, Deedra, the nanny. What kind of fucking nanny are you to try and turn everybody against the mother of the children? Okay, with your color-coded fucking eye-calf calendar thing, so you're trying to shove in everybody's face. Hey, D-Dra, take a fucking seat, okay, you're of a help, please. So Danny is actually next with D-Dra information. She's like, I'll say what I want, D-Dra, the Nanny, you mean the one whose daughter was like coming into Futt Thomas? That one, I think you were. That way?

Thank you, internet allegedly. Thank you, internet allegedly. So the net, and by that way, thank you internet allegedly. Thank you internet allegedly. So the net and by the way This is all just trash shock. I'm reading on the internet and by the way and also throughout this as we mentioned before Danny Continues to say Thomas you have to get her to stop. She is crossing a lot and just stop and he's like well Yeah, yeah Yeah So actually it's like Deetra said Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ashley's like, Deetra said the kids wake up four times a night to go sleep in his bed. And he's like, Zep, Zep, it.

Okay. And she's like, oh, I hear it from the nanny. Deetra, the one you fired. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She just now she's just going to repeat her words. Yeah, I'm like great great work with that Personnel rumor got you know like great update. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying But then so now a good job on your human resources

Gossip slam yeah, okay, so Thomas we then cut to Thomas and he's doing mayor hands and he's like well I'm trying to be respectful towards Ashley. And if I jump in and try to pull her away, I think that would be disrespectful. I'm like, oh, so now this is your moment where you're gonna be respectful to a woman. This is the moment. And then he goes, but at the same time,

I don't want her to be disrespectful to the mother of my children. So I'm in a tough position. I'm like, you're not in a tough position. I'm like, you're not in a tough position. You tell her, be quiet. Be quiet. Please be quiet. Like, this is not being productive and we have to co-parent together. We'll talk about this privately. But then Ashley won't even like take his lame help. Cause he's like, let it is going to try and salvage the evening. I vote for a move for a vote on the subject and she's like oh

Ah She goes just like shut the fuck up. You're all just staring Naomi's like why it now, okay? Naomi is just sharpening French knives under the table. She's like just give me a moment give me one shot She's gonna be one shot at her. That's all I ask. So Ashley's like, Katherine, you know what? I really hope that you're going to be trying to be the best mother you can be. I pray, I pray, and Katherine's just like, shut the fuck up, goddamn.

So Danny takes Thomas to side to yell at him. She's like, you don't walk away, you can back over here. She's not a lot of talk that way. He's like, all right, I guess I'll walk back anybody got the giant hand I can play with, we'll do this. Sorry. They get back and ask, She's not a lot of talk that way. He's like, oh, right. I guess I'll walk back. Anybody got the giant hand I can play with. We'll do this. They get back and ask you like, you didn't even go to the hair flick hospital when your kid was hair flick sick. Yeah. And Catherine's like, this girl is such an idiot. You think I didn't want to go to the hospital. Thomas didn't allow me to. Yeah. Which I mean, it's like gross. It's obvious. Yeah, and the fact that like yeah

This is I mean, it's terrible that Ashley is sitting here fighting these battles that you know She doesn't does knows nothing about it. She's not in any place And you know, she's also not Thomas's wife They have been dating for like two or three months, right? Like they've she is in no place to start acting like The pissed off stepmother to these children. She may have her thoughts, she may have her concerns, but like, it's not your place, you haven't earned it yet. Yeah.

So Danny is just Danny pulls the ultimate Southern girl thing, the Southern popular girl thing, and she goes, you know what? Shut up. No one wants you to sit here anyway. Yeah, which is like, oh snap. Those are some fifth grade snaps, right? I know, yeah, because Asha was like, how many times did you visit your son?

How many times? This is what I hear from the nanny. Yeah, the nanny, the nanny, the nanny, the nanny, the nanny, the nanny. I'm not nanny. The pressure just pops up. The nanny, she's like, to somebody call me,

hi, Mr. Shadfield. she's like, to somebody call me, I miss the chat field. I'm like, just because you watch, old reruns of the nanny does not mean that that's not constantly gossip about your kids. Yeah, for Andresher is like Beetlejuice. You just say her name enough and she pops up anywhere. Gars, it's time to go to a commercial. Aw, Craig.

Yeah. Yeah, so Thomas finallyollypool is actually away from this madness, which you should have done a long time Way sooner. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums.

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. And Craig is like, uh, why are they coming towards us? No, he doesn't pull her up. He doesn't even take her away. I mean, unless I've just wrote it down wrong, which is possible because that's how I roll. But the girls all turn on her and tell her to shut up. Well, they have been this whole time. The Catherine's ignoring her. She's getting nowhere. She's just flicking straw everywhere. Like, it's a weapon. Like, straw is like

embedding itself in the wood beams in this place. And she's not getting what she wants. So she gets up and walks away. And she's like, I want to go. I do not like any of those girls. Okay, so that was your choice. Yeah, so I didn't really like that. That was lovely. Yeah. And so then we get to Whitney.

Whitney, shit stirring little Whitney. Now I get that it's your job as a producer of this show to stir shit, but could you do it off camera and stop trying to ruin everybody's life so blatantly? You ask. Why, what, what did he do? I don't remember. This whole episode, okay, well this part he's nice you do it off camera and stop trying to ruin everybody's life so blatantly. You ask. Why what? What did he do? I don't remember.

This whole episode, okay, well this part he's nice because he's like, I'm shocked. Mother, Neandle did very well. Even mother reprise. Don't do mother. Two years ago you would have stabbed her with a fork. Here's a fork. And Catherine's like, well I'm glad I have you guys because I would be alone in a set. My blood is boiling. I'm like, I love Catherine. It's like, well, I'm glad I have you guys, because I would be alone in a set. My blood is boiling.

I'm like, I love Catherine. It's like quiet rage. But he starts shit this whole time. So I'm just marking it down. I don't. I didn't see this as a shit stirring moment. What is he just the beginning? I mean, later on he has a moment.

He has a couple. But this was to me, it was him just being like, he in fact was, he was actually part of the people saying Thomas do you want to intervene here Thomas? Do you want to you should maybe say something you want to you want to dial this down Thomas? He was like maybe being a little too passive. I think I just saw the name Whitney So that automatically infuriated He actually was not doing anything. I didn't think he was He was telling Thomas to basically get your girl and then later on he told Kath and then she handled it well.

So I didn't see that it's particularly- I have it for the whole episode. It's a macro. So I saw this name and I got furious. It's okay. Just you hold on. Just you wait. Ron 8 Karam, just you wait.

So- So Chelsea's like, I can't imagine that. I can't hold the outt try to include her and be nice, but that was deep. Hold the share. That's an evil bitch, right? Tracey and Monica was like trying to break through the back entrance.

She's like, can I play the, can I please play the band show for this moment? They're like, no, Tracey. What about Jazz flute? A Jazz flute. I think we're going to go real well. Real well. Paul, hit it.

Three, two, one. Sadness at the picnic. Sadness, no, no. OK. So the guys come back to the table. Shivalrous is ever when it's all over. And us is like, you OK, we're. Just like that is an overbuck. And it's basically like hearing forest gun call somebody a bitch.

It's the weirdest thing. I didn't know how to deal with it. I was like, look what you have done to Chelsea. I know. It was also like the first of like 10 different times that Chelsea cried over something. She was like, that tree over there, it reminds me that things grow and they get told.

I didn't fall. They might turn orange. Probably a uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,. Allah, it's like, okay, Chelsea, calm down. So the guys come over and chefs like, can I get a gorse download gorse? And they're like, no, just shut up. You don't even want to know boys. Thanks for your help. Just shut up.

Just sit down and eat and be quiet. And meanwhile Ashley is still ranting over with the Thomas. She's like, babe, I try to be my kind sweet. I try to like kiss her ass. I try to be kind, sweet. I try to like kiss her ass. I try to be kind. I and I'm like, kiss her ass and I kiss her ass and I kiss her ass. And you know what?

I knew I wasn't invited to that birthday party. I'm like, you did not kiss her ass. And who cares about the birthday party? Like, relax about the birthday party. And I'm, but seriously, show me where you kissed her ass. You're being nice to her. You're being like the basic level of even when she showed up to that first lunch she was trying all sorts of shit like

telling her she's too tall then she was trying to start a tour of friendship with her and Catherine kept that nice because the doubt she did not show up to be nice but what I'm saying is like what she qualified what she thinks is kissing someone's ass is just like the basic level of human interaction that someone should expect from another person. Like, oh, hi, how are you? Like, speaking like in a normal way and to Ashley,

it was like, oh, I did so much. Look at what I did. Look at how I put myself out there. I'm like, you sat there and you talked about twins, okay? Like, that is not, that is, that you did not go over. I was trying to support local businesses, babe. Yeah. So she's like, she said, I'd only be around the hair flake month.

How bad of a mother. Do you have to be that the courts would take the kids and give them to, now excuse me, Thomas, excuse me. But I'll convince them, fell in like you. And you're wonderful. You're a wonderful, Felon. I'm like, how about this? Let's think less about...

I mean, that was good. That was hilarious. But that was a good moment. But let's think about it. What's worse, that the courts took two children and gave them to a convicted felon or that you voluntarily flew across the country to be with the said convicted felon, or that you voluntarily flew across the country to be with said convicted felon.

Yeah. And he's wonderful. He is just wonderful. So then she's like, they're enablers, enablers. Oh, Catherine, oh, Cap, and Danny. This isn't your conversation, enabler, enabler. Enabler. She's just like losing her sense.

She's full on villain losing it just repeating her words So then they cut to Danny at the table and she's like I cannot count how many times that girl flipped her hair Okay, if she flipped her fucking hair win more time and now me's like watch Which meant I feel like she's gonna come back because that's a kind of girl who's gonna be like I'm not leaving I'm staying here so they don't win So then it cuts to Ashley and she's like what do we do? Thomas is like let's just go to dinner And she goes I'm not leaving and you know what I'm not leaving literally or figuratively my little felon

You're stuck with me Thomas That's what happens man someone who is perfect for someone else is with someone like that You get stuck with the perfect person who will someday have babies that will be perfect unlike the other babies They're coming back and then we say oh shit. I'm sure I told you stupid By the way what a nightmare if if Thomas does have a baby with ash to your babies What a fucking nightmare she will be to the other kids that'll that'll be like the example of evil stepmother she will be play total favorites to her kids with Thomas and she will treat saint and the other one like total

like runts you know it will be a terrible situation yeah um I mean, Thomas is surprising me because I cannot believe he's still with his monster. I cannot believe it. Like to this day, he's still with her because yeah, he's not going to marry her and give her children. Is he? Please say no. I mean, I can't even believe I'm rooting. Oh, not rooting, but you know what I mean? It feels weird. Like don't give her what she wants. Like that's such a great prize, not rooting, but you know what I mean? It feels weird. Like, don't give her which she wants, like that's such a great prize, you know, but gross. So the best part about all this, the best part about all this is that they all have to take a ferry back together, which is great. That they like after all this, they have to be stuck on a boat. So it's

like a miniature episode of below deck. It's like below ferry. Um, so, I'm sorry. So they go inside and ask you, like, Tom is, I just want you to know, I haven't fought for a man like that ever, but it's my life. And I don't see it without you. And if you propose tomorrow, I would say yes. You know that, right, babe? I would say yes, right? And he's like, oh, I love you. I love you. And then, and then outside Craig is Craig is trying to like compliment Catherine. He's like, uh, the reason she handled it so well is because she's sober and crushing life. Yeah. And they're like, okay, like choir Craig. And then he was like, Craig goes and he goes, if they didn't handle it, I would have had to come over and Danny just laughs in his face. She's like, oh you would have handled it Huh because you would have saved the day and then they just all laugh at him. It was great Sorry, I jumped I jumped the gum. We don't we're not on the ferry yet

Even I don't know why I had that on my notes there I think they just mentioned that they'd take a ferry so they were all just like not excited for it So everyone everyone started you know The party sort of breaks up for a second because people go to pee and everything and Chelsea Chelsea and Austin are left alone together to have a talk by the fire and Austin now has to sort of talk the Chelsea baddest situation in Victoria who you know is home making soup for him when he gets back and so He's like Even he's telling her that he's giving Victoria another shot, but he really doesn't want to do this Chelsea again, you know? And I, I don't know, I kind of was like, I don't know, the way he handles

handling these women sort of like, it doesn't, it doesn't run me the wrong way in this sense, it's like, man, you know, I'm just like, like, you're, he's playing this woman against each other a little bit, you know? He's just so smart me, like, he's just so fucking smart me, you know, it's like Chelsea won't bone him so he immediately goes right back to her friend, you know, he's just so smart me. He's just so fucking smart me, you know, it's like Chelsea won't bone him. So he immediately goes right back to her friend, you know, exactly. Just gross. So Chelsea's like, well, but also you said that you ended it with hard because it wasn't right and you weren't feeling the way you're supposed to be feeling. He's like, well, I might have said that because you were paying for my sister's lurch. So the music goes, ding. And he's like, well, at what point did you know that we weren't going to work out? Like maybe the first time she got a piece of like the bread basket spit on her

face. And then had to pay for the dinner. Maybe. Yeah, maybe when your birthday gift to her was like three, three group ons to outback. Maybe when you said three words with your voice, but your mouth said like a paragraph. Like how is anybody supposed to know when there's a break in the conversation? So Chelsea's basically like, well, we're in different parts of our lives. Like, I'm at the part of my life. Well, I like to sit on a, on a porch swing and look at the stars and think about Oh, it used to be in life. It was so wonderful and you liked the party and bone girls, so

I'm at the point my life what I don't like to have ever meal for some man without a job I'm at my life. Well, I like a man to wear a camo at all times and not a bad polo shirt by a holster And Chelsea has her walls down. And so the producers were like, you know what, we're giving the women a lot of shit. Trixie hears five dollars. And she's like, that's not enough for a banjo. And they're like, it's enough for a guitar, Trixie.

Okay, is this the hill you want to die on? Trixie Monaco. And she's like, all right. Guitar, strum, guitar, strum. I'll still pick a trough. I'll pick you this. I just love. I just love whenever it comes to Chelsea.

They get, whenever it comes to Chelsea, they get so like, okay, it's a guitar strumming. It's a band zone now. So kind of thing. I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, and then Chelsea's like, well, Austin, I feel bad because you were in a position where you had to choose between your friendship with me and a relationship with Victoria and I kind of put you in that position and I'm sorry

for doing that. I'm like, why are you apologizing to this guy? Why Chelsea know? Yeah, and then Austin's like, well, we'll be close until we're geriatric, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, I was like, this is gross. Yeah, and then she goes, she goes, every now and then I wonder, am I missing out on something here? No, no, you're not.

You're literally what you see is what you get right here. This is what you're getting. And you're not. That's what I wonder when I haven't been to the Golden Corral for a while. And then I go and it shits for days. Okay, here's my advice. So inside, chef is like, hey, couple, hey, couple, how's it going over here, Gars? I'm the nice one, Gars.

Sorry that what happened happened, Gars. Oh, sashley, I thought you were getting along so well with the lesser, the lesser sex. And she's like, I was appeasing her shop. Do you know what that piecing means? Do you know what they say? Keep your friends close and your enemies even closer he's like oh yeah some Sue um the point is like this is turning more into Vietnam which is a book I read myself to

sleep with every night yeah I kind of feel like your Robert McNamara launching a terrible offensive in a war you're not gonna win and I'm just telling you right now pull out pull out before you get to the Tet offensive We don't need this right now It's called spray and pay on no spray and pray and I'll just I'll just come inside her He's like just come inside her. He's like just dropping the poetry. He's like, I don't pull out. So chef's like, well, I guess you should just don't say, not say things you can't take back.

So I don't care, hair blake. I don't like her. I see on a daily basis, you don't know. Guess what, yeah, we do because we see Thomas is camel toes Much as anybody in that town Okay, and I agree you should get something I think she's right like what she sees on a daily basis I don't know like I don't Understand her reality. I don't understand the world that she lives in so you're sure you're right Ashley what you see on a daily basis

We do not know You want to be Rebecca DeMourne. There I said it. So yeah, so the chef goes. So chef is like, gosh, I'm going to borrow a line from MTV's diary. You might think you know, but you just don't know. So you have to be a little bit differential to the past. Gosh, she's like, well, I don't know what differential means,

but I can tell that you're already enabling. Annabely nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny, nanny. Oh, and then she goes, she doesn't want those kids. She doesn't want to be a mom. She doesn't care about those kids. Oh my god. And then she has the chef. It's like, whoa, yeah, she should know better.

She's 30 something. I mean, wait, she will today, even for me. And so I know that she should know that was outrageous and unfair and ungarsh kind. Oh, she's like, she's like if he's seafood, went out, throw it out, g, when you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. That's the way the cookie, gosh, crumbles, gosh, my cookie crumbled. If you sprinkle on the tinkle, if you, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, okay, so they're walking to the boat and Ashley, Ashley just gets worse and worse. She's like, ah, will you pay

me to walk by? Just pitch him in. She's just totally unhinged and I think that she thinks that she is the hero in this situation. Like she must she must think she's getting this great at it. It's like mean girls and she's finally stood up to him to them and now she's having a moment of liberation and it's the exact opposite. She's just being more of not more obnoxious. So they get on this little ferry and they're all sitting there and sort of awkward. She and Thomas are in like one section. She's all against the wall and everyone else is sitting somewhere else. And so now this is where Whitney serves the shit up. So he-

He's capturing, because this feels like the Titanic. The Titanic at least had a good ending. Okay. Drowned his ass. It's like the non-love boat. So Whitney goes up to add to ash and she's like So mother Chelsea doesn't want you stay in the house tonight. What are you gonna do about that? Oh, you know and so that was full-on shit stirring so now But Chelsea got mad about it earlier. So now I'm not mad anymore. You see you see how it works

Like I aimed my rage at the wrong scene. Well right now the rage really should be aimed towards Thomas because Chelsea, Chelsea does not back down from it. She says, well yeah, I told Catherine that if she doesn't feel comfortable, you're being in the house, not then like you just can't be in the house to not. And then so actually, actually goes to T-Rap. She's, you hear this, you hear this, and Abler, hair flip? It's up to Catherine. If I stand her house tonight, it's up to Catherine if I stand the house tonight.

So here's why I think I got so mad earlier at Whitney because didn't Whitney the one at dinner who was like, oh God, now we have to go back to the house together. What are you gonna do? We're all gonna be back at the house. What are you gonna do, Chelsea? Like I think he was the one starting Chelsea.

Like he was the one who got Chelsea to say, well that's gonna be uncomfortable. Maybe, I mean, it was back at the house. What are you gonna do Chelsea? Like I think he was a one starting Chelsea like maybe it was the one who got Chelsea to say well That's gonna be uncomfortable. Maybe I mean it was one. I don't think that's like that's a pretty light stir though Because it's I don't think it's not really what I'm supposed to be against her Not if he's like oh is she gonna come back to the house? What are you gonna do? And then she's like well, that'll be uncomfortable. He's like Chelsea's trying not to let you come back to the house So now now that Ashley tells Thomas this, he just turns that real evil Thomas that we haven't seen on a little bit, but like it's that evil where he sneers. And he gets like when he turns evil, it is scary because those T curls his upper lip. It is a full-on scary his his awesome scary I reserve I reserve the

possum look for Tamro Barney from real house was of Orange County and Thomas even tops her possum look I mean I think it's it's like a hyena I think it's like beyond possum at this point this is a man whose his eyebrows go up his nose flares his lip curls his come, it is like nasty. And he, he springs up, his hair gets all of a sudden like immediately disheveled, he springs up and gets right into Chelsea's face. And he's like, did you just say it's up to Catherine if she can say it to the house tonight? And even Chelsea is cut, she was like, whoa, whoa.

I mean, it was like, it was intense and it's scary and it makes you Wonder what really happens behind closed doors, you know, yeah, and it's like it's like if you saw Walter Mathau Become possessed by Satan and Satan was a possum Yeah, it's like why is that guy from grumpy old man turning like this like he's so he went it does happen And then and you don't have the fucking decision. You don't have no say. And don't act like you do. Spittles, spittles, spittles, spittles,

tiny poop in my pants. And she's just like, okay, and he goes, and shut the fuck up. I mean, it is so, it is so nasty. I mean, you want to talk about toxic masculinity. I mean, poster boy right here. It is, it is actually like, vile behavior, vile, poster boy right here. It is, it is actually like, vile behavior,

vile, violent, aggressive behavior that is scary. And it's like, it's not right at all. And it's also like, oh, and now is the time when you decide to take a stand, you have, you know, the two women in your life are going at it and you just sit back. And now, you know, Chelsea, who's been very composed and like headed and is reacting to Ashtee's crazy in a very normal way and you're going to do that? No, no, no. Yeah, she wasn't even reacting to anything. She was put on the spot by Whitney.

He's like, okay. So then Austin's like, don't yell at her. We're little, little. And then Danny says, Ashtee, don't you go smirking over there. Like, you just won something. It's like, shut up, you enabler. Enabler. Enabler.

Enabler. Enabler. Enabler. I don't know what she's doing. She's like trying to start her own music man over there, Ashley. And then when, when, I'm just mad. And by the way, after Thomas said and shut the fuck up,

it went to commercial, but the music was like, boom, boom, boom, and I had to, I had to put it on close captioning because I couldn't even understand what Thomas was saying. And the close captioning for that moment, it goes dramatic music pounds. I was like, yes. So then Thomas, he's still like, he is now fully transformed into Foghorn Ligeron. He's like, don't act like you have the power. When you don't have the fucking power, Chelsea, you don't have the power. She's like, okay, God, you know.

And then Austin says the fact that Ashley isn't trying to deescalate this week's volumes for her character, which is complete trash. Yeah. Amen. Thank you. Thank you, Austin. I mean, it would be nice if you did a little more than just go Don't yell at her at this moment, but okay, but it's nice to see the guys all turn on her because they the guys do tend to stay out of the Frey or they try to beat like oh Like gosh, you know they try to beat like peacemakers I'm just sad that Cameron wasn't there because I really would have liked Cameron to weigh in it's like it's it's actually like It almost feels like a crime the fact that we just don't get to have weigh in. It's actually like, it almost feels like a crime, the fact that we just don't get to have Cameron

in any of these scenes. Like Cameron doesn't have the best track record. She is usually on the men's side. She's usually on Thomas and or Whitney side. There's no way she would have been on, here's the thing. There's no way she would have been on the men's side in this case. And Cameron is smart.

She knows which way the wind blows. And she knows the tide has turned for Catherine to become the protagonist now. I guarantee she would have had some snarky ass comments, and I'm like, really bummed I can't see them. I know. What the hell, you guys? You should have waited until she pushed out this baby.

So then, sheep. So sheep, of course, he is being a little bit of an apologist for T. Rab. And he's like, gosh, he's had a tough night. It's not what he wanted. Garsh, I'm like, don't make excuses for his managers yelled at Chelsea, who told her to leave. Fuck you. He said that she doesn't have the power.

We know like wielding his Southern privilege. No, no, no. And just when you think, okay, everything's over. It can't get worse than this. Then they start making out. While they're looking at every, they won't even look at each other while they're making out. They look at everybody else while they're trying

to catch each other's lips. I mean, they are disgusting pigs. They are that couple at the, you know, like you go to a bar and then there's like that one middle aged couple with like a wife who I am gonna age shame now I am because I you know I feel like certain bars there are certain certain ages go to certain bars and sorry that's just the way it is okay and you know there's always that that one couple there's like that that 55 year old guy who's usually in some

sort of like button down shirt that has little flower stitching in it you know and then he has this like hot girl, but she's like 47 and she's like weird. Like she's got like a wig and like big lips and she's just like a disaster and they put on Jimmy Buffett and they're just like making out and no one else in the bar is making out.

And everyone else is like 22 and you're like, what are they doing here? Why are they like, like why are they putting on this show? Why are they ruining this bar for us? That is Thomas and Ashley. And you may say, you could dissect what I just said and be like, why can't I want me to look like that? Why can't I want me to do that in Young Bar?

Why can't I do that in Young Bar? You can do that all you want, but you all know what I'm talking about. Don't act like you don't know. It's just daunting your grossness, basically. It's just gross people flaunting their grossness. Yeah, and then Ashley does this. mean she is trying so hard to create a Co-dependent relationship and she's like, it's just you and me against the world, baby. I'm like, okay settle down Bonnie and Clyde, all right.

And then Whitney of course Whitney comes in like the big savior he is as if he didn't just start all this shit on purpose. in like the big savior he is as if he didn't just start all this shit on purpose. He's like, oh Thomas chill. Mother says you need to chill and fucking smile. Breathe. See? Breathe. See? And Thomas is like, chill, see. I'd like to apologize to this town and your district. If I hurt your feelings, it was ungentlemanly and I'm sorry and she's like Thanks. Thanks so much. And Catherine's like, um, looking at Thomas and Ashley looks like an unhealthy mental hospital room couple It was sort of like a convoluted insult and yet exactly perfect. Yeah. And by the way, speaking of it. It's like mixing your insults all together, but it works.

It's like an insult salad. This couple needs an insult salad. You can't just use one. An insult salad. And by the way, I just want to say, you know, speaking of mother, Patricia has been like very anti-Ashley. And she, there was just something that was posted. I've got to find it.

It was on two judgy girls. But basically on Twitter, just that was posted I've got to find it was on two judgey girls but um basically on Twitter uh so here I'm gonna find it I'm pulling it up right now okay here it is someone tweeted at Patricia and said does anyone in America like Ashley OMG and Patricia responds no the end the end end. The end. So now they get off the ferry and they get back to the house and ship and Austin to go out to a bar and Craig is like, tomorrow morning, breakfast at 9.30, I know him, he's like,

I bet, jabette, my life savings, that you won't do it. And Craig's like, no, shit, no, me, that's why I wasn't talking to you. But you're more than welcome to enjoy it this morning I don't even need to hear any more of negativity it's exhausting uh and Ashley walking back into the house is like I go to sleep every night breast rated by this human being and he's like that's enough now Ashley quiet now now he does it thanks yes like you I just I just almost blew a coke vein in the ferry all right we're we only have one baggy left save it for tomorrow yeah so outside

Thomas is with Catherine and Danny while everybody else is getting ready to go out or whatever and Danny's like home she doesn't really think that I'm an enabler, right? And he's like, what? Which is so gross. He's good. And he's like, well, I wanted her to finish the conversation with you.

And Cafflin's like, oh my Lord, have mercy. That was so inappropriate in every way. She talked about your children. And I mean, who's not proud of her for staying so calm. Yeah now I know well the thing is that Catherine really isn't a client because I mean Thomas He comes from old money. He has old connections. He has a very powerful family I mean his dad is like it was a major politician and he was in the government at one point and he Good old boys network and Catherine knows

like she like if she goes true crazy Catherine Dennis it would be like now you're on or you can see she's mentally unstable lady she doesn't get to see her kids for two more years I mean she's really in that situation which is like a really dark fucked up thing for what should be like a reality show and so that's why she has to stay composed you know and she's also a little older and more mature now, but Ashie meanwhile is inside and she's talking to Chelsea, she's like, you know, what Chelsea? I've tried. I've tried. I just, I don't want to be taken advantage of my kindness,

you know, I've got so much hair flip kindness, you know, like, uh, like why doesn't she, why doesn't she be nice to me then? Why doesn't she be like, you think she wants to get to know me? And probably she'd be nice to me. And Chelsea goes, look at what you just said. They brought in a guitar for me. That's how many you were. And she's like, it's been building up, Chelsea.

It's been building up. Chelsea goes, the evil I saw in you, you just can't turn that back. Have you ever looked into the face of a catfish? Once you do, you understand why people eat them and not instead of forgiving them, okay? Yeah, because basic child's is like, there's basically, you guys were, look like you were doing so well,

like you were on the path being able to co-parent and you just ruined it. There's no going back. And Ash is like, I don't want to hang out with her. You don't even know. She's crazy, but I'm doing it for there's no going back. And Ash is like, I don't wanna hang out with her. You don't even know. She's crazy, but I'm doing it for the sake of the children. I mean, just because you give birth to someone doesn't mean you have mother. I know a lot of adoptive parents.

Chelsea, Chelsea, God give us all free will, okay? And she chose this. She chose this path. Time to start taking some account of building Chelsea. Chelsea's like, please stop talking to me like that. I'm going upstairs, look at swing sets. Yeah. So they're not side-down.

Wait, how, I mean, how despicable, just because you give birth, someone doesn't mean you're the mother. Like, what, and are you the mother now? Are you the mother now? She's disgusting. And she's like, why doesn't she just leave? She's like, why doesn't she just leave?

People move on, Chelsea. Like, Catherine's gonna be like, okay doesn't she just leave? She's like, why doesn't she just leave? People move on Chelsea. Like, after it's gonna be like, okay, drop two babies next. Yeah, and then, and Ashley saying, God, give us all free will. She chose this, she chose this path. I'm like, well, so did you, bitch, you decided to get involved with the guy

who has two kids with this woman, who, you know, even your friend said, like, oh, she's like a little crazy. Like, you chose this, Ashley, so don't be shocked at this, the situation you're in. So back outside, Dan, he's like, she can't a little crazy like you chose this Ashley. So don't be shocked at this situation. You're in So back outside Danny's like she can't talk to you like that like she cannot flick her straw hair at you That could have hurt somebody she owes you an apology Catherine's like she owes me going away And it's gonna be a legal situation soon and then Thomas just spits up his drink

spits up his drink like Wanted to pay off a judge. This is not cheap. Okay, and she goes, you know, she's just protective and captain's like of what? It's been three months and he goes, you know She's Italian they move their hands when they talk I don't want to sound racist, but you know They move their hands around a lot. They're real passionate people Such an idiot. Yeah, so the next morning, Craig is up cooking. He did. I was shocked.

I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to see Craig not making breakfast. But he did. Naomi's division really is a motivator. I mean, I think instead of like a little Apple watch, I just need a little Naomi recording. Like, you'll never get at the next exercise. Boogey, I'm jolly yupp! But you overclocked up the exercise. You overclocked the scrambled eggs though you could tell they were like you know I like well to my standards

because I do not like my scrambled eggs like Dry and crumbly and that's what they looked like I'm I'm I'm going to say it. I'm saying it like dry and crumbly Well, you're a terrible person there. I just said it. Do you like drawing crumbly? I got up and made some eggs. Yeah, I like my eggs firmer personally. Um, egg fight. So the girls are in bed talking and Thomas and Ashley are in bed talking.

And then of course Ashley wakes up like, oh, I'm just trying to remember yesterday. Like, of course, how convenient. Well, I'm certainly not going to have any girlfriends now. And then, yeah, so basically in one room, the girls are all in bed talking about Ashley and then Ashley's in bed with Thomas and she's like, well, I don't want to leave because I don't want them to get the best of me. So it's like, okay, all right, here we go. Just as Naomi predicted and Tom said, it does get the best of me. So it's like, okay, all right, here we go. Just as Naomi predicted and Tom said does get the best of you.

Dude, what is your best? Yeah, you're horrible. Yeah, what is your best? Like, let's get some Helmins out here so we can bring out your best, okay? Yeah, so basically they're just all recovering from the night before. The one group is gonna go fishing

and the other group is gonna go crabbing. Yeah, so chef and Chelsea You're gonna take these different groups places. Yeah, and chef is like They're they're all sort of like assembling downstairs in the kitchen And I like that this cast they really do look like they just woke up like I think the only people who had makeup on was like Ashley and Thomas He Thomas did his hair and bed his hair is like slick back and perfectly combed lying in bed But everyone else is like not in their makeup. They're just wearing like t-shirts and you know sweats and it looked like the way it looks when you're with some friends in like In front of the place. I was like oh, I feel like I'm there. So then they're all walking around and stuff

It's like gosh too many mushrooms Craig. What are we in super Mario? gosh Could you make me some without mushrooms? Yeah, so then they try and call Cam, but it just goes straight to voicemail. And I owe me Bashes Craig's eggs. She's like, I like to, how you wait till

Atrey broke up to get up and make breakfast. So Thomas and Ashley join and everybody's just looking at them like a gay rose and Ashley's like, oh hi, thank you so much. Thank you so much for this wonderful breakfast. It looks so great. And Catherine's like, maybe we should put these knives away. Then Ashley opens champagne, you know, first thing in the A and Catherine just looks at

her like, yeah, Catherine's like, and I'm the one who gets drug tested, right? So, and someone's like, has anyone heard from Whitney and Chelsea goes who is hanging upside down on the closet, which was hilarious hilarious So yeah, so now everyone's just getting ready to go crabbing or fishing or whatever and Some people getting their cars. It's like really uninteresting stuff here The Whitney comes back with groceries and then So they're in there to different cars and in the car with Craig Catherine and chef

Chef is chef is already starting to now turn against Ashley Which is kind of great because like say what you will about chef He is always like trying to be friends with everyone and he's like gosh She doesn't have a lot going on upstairs and I'm saying that to someone like Craig Garge like like I Sorry, it's a sand of all never mind Counter is like the elevator doesn't go to the top and Craig goes it stops at random floors And goes and unloads She has a loading out I love that there's like as she is actually a loading dock

She's like she's a service elevator. Never had a problem taking my loads if Thomas was there, gross. So, I hate even fictional Thomas in my head, though. You see? You're offended by your own impersonation. You. Your toxic masculinity is too much fictional Thomas. Oh, good. So, the other girls are going to an Uber. There's like an Uber XL. And they're, again, they're talking about Ashton.

They're like, ugh. Remember last night, like, they were like, oh, Charles was like, oh, I had to be in an Uber with them, going home, and they were discussing Ashton. Ashton kept on saying how like they're perfect for each other and you see a flashback and she's like, oh, this is why we're perfect for each other, Thomas. Half like, half like, sexy half like.

It's like, ooh. Oh, so we get a lot of like, oh, I grew up here. It was idyllic. And then Chelsea, I grew up here. We had River in the back yard. Yeah, it was. And then back, and it's also, we see some cutting back with like Thomas the Whitney and Ashley and Thomas the Whitney

You're talking about her and Thomas is like well, I think that Ashley's premature and trying to think she's in a position to hold my baby Mama accountable and you know Catherine was so self-controlled like a proper Southern lady and you know I'm like shut the fuck up. You should have interviewed a long time ago, okay, Mr. Mayor. Mr. Non-Maya. Yes. So they get onto different boats. Yeah, so basically they just fish and crab. Yeah.

Do you think exciting happens? Yes, something very exciting happens. First of all, we met Shep's childhood friend, Michael on the Papa Bear, and then we also met Chelsea childhood friend Chris I was like I remember waving at you when I was five and then it's but you'll never forget it It's like wow nothing really happens in this town. Well, shep caught a shark and Craig caught a rock Wow, you really hit rock bottom Craig. Yeah, so and then meanwhile back at the house, like when he's just in bed on his laptop, which is kind of like what I would do, I really want to go crapping. I really want to go crapping.

And Ash is like doing, she's combing Thomas's hair. She's like, you're just the cutest. I think we'd have beautiful babies. I think we should keep practicing. You are a keeper. And noticed that he's using the kids brush. She's using the daughter's brush. Oh, I didn't ask. I did not notice that. He's just like sitting there, just waiting for the time that they can have sex again. So people, they have chef throws in his fish.

He's not going to keep any of his fish. He's like, I don't want to hurt anyone. Yeah. I just want to, you know, blah, blah, blah. So we got to the store to buy fish with just classic castwives. Well, and also before that, sorry, Craig, Craig, they're on the boat. And Craig says the Catherine, Hey, Catherine, you know, you have something uncommon with a crazy girl.

Neither of you took birth control when you're with Thomas. Ha. She's like zoinks. And then me like she's like, and then which is like kind of like a gross inappropriate thing for Craig to say, but I thought it was like it was necessary to mention it. And then Ashley meanwhile back at the house is she's saying how she's never gonna, she's not gonna apologize to Catherine because, sure, her tone was wrong and maybe she was a little too aggressive, but like what she still feels the way she felt

and those were true emotions and she's like, you know, I learned not to wrestle pigs because you both get dirty and the pig likes it. Well, guess what, I wrestled with a pig. I'm like, bitch, you are fucking a pig. OK, don't get it twisted. I've ever heard the one about lipstick on a pig. Biotch.

Yeah, lipstick on a nationally. Everyone heard about the pig who needs a hot oil treatment. That's not the pig who needs that. I love street food. How dare you say about Ms. Pigicky. So everybody comes back home. Are we okay to go back home? Yeah, there was just some talk about suitcases and purses, but it's not really essential. It's nighttime.

It's nighttime now. And Ash is now championing the hangover by chef. By chefs. Chefs, not by chef. And there's of course when chair missing at this dinner. Oh no, no, we're not that, we're not that, actually, we're in a mess, right? So it's now it's nighttime.

So Ashley has put on like pancake makeup and she's now like, I think she's doing his nails, and she did that earlier, but she's talking to Thomas about like, she's like, it's so nice to have a buddy that we can just like do nothing together and still have fun and he's just like,'s just like, just like dying of FOMO because he had to stay home the entire day with her. And is this where someone's trying to ask them about their nail polish? The chef

like, oh wow, you guys have the same nail polish. Not quite yet. It's coming up. All right, lead. You lead on. Yes. So, shepp comes back. The girls come back. They got crabs. There's a really lovely private chef named Orkid. Shepp comes back with some flounders that he got from, you know, from a bar because they didn't catch anything. And they're all coming back with the food and ask, she's like, when do we actually get

this dinner? Like, we've been waiting five hours for it. And she's like, saying it is like a joke, but you can tell she's like hungry and being like, I've been waiting five hours. Like, enough with's like saying it is like a joke, but you can tell she's like hungry and being like, I've been waiting five hours, like enough with this like, hold dinner thing, like I get it. You know, it's like, you should be so happy that someone is feeding you for free.

Okay. Yeah, gross. She's a disgusting human being. She is. I'm just gonna sit here and listen, you tell me all the disgusting things that this girl has done. I've done everything terrible that she did, I hope.

So then we see Craig upstairs and he's like, put on a hoodie and he like and his hair's all slick back and he ran out of clothes. So he comes downstairs wearing a hoodie and nothing under it. It's sort of this weird look, especially because the girls are all dressed up. Because as is always the case with this show

and many shows, the girls get dressed really, really nice and the guys show up like, shlobs and sweatshirts. So Craig. He's like, hey me in the mirror, hey Craig in the mirror. I forgot, I ran out of clothes and I don't give a shit. Well, actually, I did give a shit, but I'm gonna pretend I don't give a shit. I was like, you need to talk to yourself in the mirror more.

I know, I love it. It was a really important moment. So he comes downstairs and they're like, Craig, why aren't you wearing a shirt under your hoodie? He's like, I ran out of clothes and he's like, we got here yesterday How did he run out of clothes like and it's also I'm appointed out last week. He didn't even bring a suitcase just like a lot of clothes. So there you go but it's also like Couldn't he have done laundry in that house?

And but the funny thing is that Austin and Shep's are also wearing sweatshirts. So anyway, so the chef starts putting food out on the table, like steak and things like that. And Ash is like, Thomas, can you feed me? And now I mean, it's like, feed yourself. You're like 30 something years old. I'm a little bit pale. Now me. How about you little while. Now.

You know. Yeah. So then after appetizers, they all gather around the dining. By the way, this food looked amazing. Well, before the dining room table, I know you want to get to this chair situation, but we're still not there yet. So is that where you're trying to get to the chair situation? Go ahead, go ahead, I'll follow.

So then the next thing is they're all chatting in the kitchen area and T-Rab, he's like, so what's the baby update on Cameron? Do we have any news on the baby update? And that's just like, let's do a selfie. Let's do a selfie. It's like this woman, I just want to take her by her thick, voluminous hair and shake her. I mean, he's trying to find out something, it's just like she's so self. I mean, he's like trying to find out something like,

it's just like she's so self-involved and he's trying to find out about how Cameron's pregnancy is going and she wants to take a selfie. I think if it was just a one-off thing, it'd be like whatever, but it's like it's so indicative of how self-absorbed she is and how she's like constantly wanting to do things to cement their relationship. Like let's do a photo, we're together.

We're a couple, let's show the world we're a couple. It's so awful. Let's take a selfie in front of everybody while you're talking about your baby. It's like, she has to cement it to everybody else, you know? It's like Thomas won't even cement it with you. You idiot. Exactly.

You're basically just getting shot down over and over again in public. So then Catherine comes walking around to get the appetizers and the way she's standing, she's sort of standing with her back to Ashley. Because Ashley and Thomas were sitting at like the table, like a low kitchen table and Catherine was with everyone else standing at the island. So her butt is like facing Ashley and she's like, why is this like right in my face?

I'm like because you chose to sit there because you made yourself a pariah, you stupid face. And now you're sitting at the table and that's why It's another good to have dinner around the dining room, right? No, so Not yet not yet rondald. This is the so now Sheps it down with T. Raven Ashley because you know he feels bad He sees his friend is sort of like can't be part of the party group and he's like He's like garbage. So what do you guys do today? And she's like, oh, well, I gave, you know, he's like, oh, I got a got a pedicure. Yeah. And chef is like, oh, so like, gosh, how long does that

nail post stay on till I say until I say. And then if it comes off and I still want it there, I'm going to put it back on because I'm the boss. I'm the boss. I'm the boss. Who's the boss, Kath Thomas and he's like, uh, me? That's what I want him to think. Yeah, he is. And at this point, Chef is just giving these looks like this is she for real. Like, is this am I am I is this or are we actually still shooting my show? Are we are we on punk now? Is this like a real thing that's happening? Yeah, he's like, gosh great. Sounds great. I'm gonna get a drink.

It's like, um, Sha, but you get me some tequila. I'm like, sure. Some chow tequila. I told you on the boss. And then Tearab was like, ha ha ha ha. But when he first stands up, even before the Tequila thing, she gets, good chat, good talk. It's like, what the fuck?

And then she grabs, listen to her. She's a pistol, listen, good talk, good chat. Maybe she gets a boss of comedy. Chef just looks at her like a bat. He's like gross. You have officially grossed me out now. I mean, while Whitney is like, he thinks he's like being hilarious,

he's like, Craig shades his chest. Who shades their chest? I've never heard of shades. I'm an abandoned called Renoble. He shades his chest. It's that crazy mother. And when it's like, okay Whitney, it's 2018. It's not a shock.

It's not a shock. No, no one cares. And they keep cutting back to him like throughout the night going, she's just. after Chef pours this shot of Tequila, he gives it, gives it ashi, and then he goes outside where some of the girls are and he sits down and this is like my favorite part because this is the most me that Chef has ever been.

He just sits down with the girls, he goes, I fucking hate her. Yeah. That's it. Like she's finally pushed someone, has finally pushed me too far, okay? He's like, I don't like her. I don't even want to sleep with her and steal her away from Thomas. I hate her. So did you see his Instagram thing this week where he posted a picture with her?

He's like, wow, of course. Look who I saw out. It's Ashley. Look, we had one bad moment on reality TV, but you know, it doesn't mean that we have to just keep attacking her like, gosh, guys, come on. Remember, it's just a TV show. And no, Chef, why? Why did you do that? Yeah, sorry. I liked Chef being shady, but I really, I liked Chepp being shady, but I really, really liked it when he goes, I mean, you're stealing my oxygen when you talk. I was like, yes, Chepp, yes.

Pylon, pylon, join us. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So guess what? So now Orchid serves up this big old flounder and it's beautiful and when he's like, oh, I'm a rock star, I'm in Renob. I'm gonna scoop out a big piece before he can take any photos of it.

And I was like, Whitney. Whitney. You guys, Craig Sheaves is just. Hey, you know what else? You know what else, sheaves just, this flounder. So then they're all serving themselves. And Danny is trying to serve herself crabs. And Craig is just like man's planning crab.

He's like, you wanna take the heavy ones? Because those are more dance with the crab. And she's like, I know Craig. I caught these. He's like, yeah, but I'm saying, I know Craig. Naomi, can you come over here and do what you do, Craig? You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Craig, okay, Craig. Suddenly you're like the crab expert. How about like, where were you with the crab expert when we were like dating? Okay, where was this? Okay.

Voisie of war. on telly-do okay I'm just like just slap him up side the head with the rice water be done with him so they're all serving and someone serves Ashley some flounder she's like ew I don't like that with the tail which on God Ashley is so she's one of those people who's proud of being stupid like Like she's proud of her ignorance, you know? Like, ew, how do I even eat that? Ew, crap. What are you even wearing on a horse?

Oh my God, what do I even do with a tail? Oh my God, flounder? Like, I'm not gonna eat a little mermaid, okay? It's like you're an idiot. It doesn't make you better, learn, okay? It's just one of those girls that's like, I'm stupid. It's like, that's not attractive, okay? It's just one of those girls is like, I'm stupid. It's like, that's not attractive.

It's not attractive at all. With all that hair, there should be knowledge in there. Yeah, I'm just a girl. Oh, shut up. So there's no, there's like no chair for Ashley. There's one chair short. So Ashley's like, okay, I'll find a chair. And like, because no one's willing to be like,

oh, you can take my chair. And no one's like one's willing to be like, oh, you can take my chair. And no one's like, Even Thomas. Yeah, well Thomas is kind of, Thomas is like, we can see it together on a chair. It's like, oh, yeah, he does not give up his chair. And they're like, can we scoot down for her? And no, I'm just like, no.

And so, so, so, Ash he goes off to find a chair. And then Austin turns around and goes, Ashly, as if he's me like, you just take my seat and he goes, can you grab me a beer? Thanks. Now who's the boss? That's so she finally gets a big old chair from outside sits down and they're eating their crabs and she has like a crab fork and this fucking idiot.

She's like, oh my god, look at this fork. Like I don't even remember what she was saying but she was like she was like what is this I mean what is this even do you chef can I clean your teeth and I was like oh my god did she just make a chef dentistry joke because I would love that but nope you just doesn't know how do you do that she was just parading her ignorance about a crab fork like how dumb do you have to be like it's fine to like not know what a crab fork is but like when you see a table of like 12 people all using the crab fork, eat their crab,

and you're like, oh my God, like look at this. Like you're like blown away by the novelty of a crab fork. Like do you realize how dumb that makes you look? Let's just like what you said, like she's proud of being... Yeah, she's doing it on purpose. She thinks it makes her look hot. It doesn't, okay. And I like that she's, she sings doing it on purpose. She thinks it makes her look hot. It doesn't, okay.

And I like that she's, she sings, she says stuff like see if it, I just don't get it. You're from Santa Barbara. Yeah. I mean, come on. You're from, you know, you're from planet Earth. How about that? Like, like, it's see if it's,

so then she's, she's being so dumb. So she's shep is sitting next to her and she's, and he's trying to make a toast and she's like, she's Chef, have you ever had a shrimp in your cocktail? And she starts putting her shrimp in his wine. And he goes, don't do that, please. And I was like, I love that.

That just like, he hates her. And I'm so mad that you told me that they're friends now. I'm so mad because I love their friends. Or he was just giving her, you know, uh, Like a favor for her to have that. You know, like a handout while Sue is out because people are attacking her. And everyone's like, she can't take it, you guys. She's getting so skinny.

She looks really unhealthy. I don't think she can take it. Fuck her. Okay. Fuck her. And I'm sick of all these movies coming out, trying to make me feel bad for the Disney villain. Okay. Fuck her. She deserves it. I'm sick of all these movies coming out trying to make me feel bad for the Disney villain, okay fuck her

She deserves it. Well, I mean like I I would be totally Happy to root for Ursula. I often root for villains But like she have to be like a good villain and like she's not a good villain She's just like and again Ursula has to hear she's like like you know what? I'm not I will I will be empathized. Yes, and I will empathize with Ursula I will not empathize those eels. And that's what she basically is. She's like a little more a eel. Yeah, she's gross.

So anyway, so she makes a toast to Chelsea. And he's like, gosh, thanks for coming here. I love held net. It's where I was raised. She's like, yeah, I was raised here too. It's the stars and not the rivers and the clovers and the field, you know, all that stuff. He's like, gosh, I want to, you know, say isn't it great to like have a river in your backyard?

And I'd like to thank whoever came up with the word, I deal with it because that's really served me well, Garth. And, you know, Ashley still doesn't know what a crab fork is, even though we've told her five times garish so. So in the middle of this, Victoria calls up Austin and she is pissed because she saw an Naomi's IG story from the boat, the crab boat, because earlier when they were taking the boat back from the crab, the crab area, it was cold, it was gray and cold and so Chelsea was just like huddling with with Austin And so she saw this and she's like oh my god Chelsea was holding your arm and kissing your shoulder on the boat like what the fuck like what the fuck and Austin just goes no I have been making suit for you for three days

Okay, how dare you and he's like Can't just keep acting like this every Every time something goes wrong, nothing was happening. Like, as we were doing, we were on a boat. It was cool. She's like, look at the picture. Look at the picture, Austin. Look at the picture. And he looks at it. And she does have, I mean, they are like, they do act like they're kind of dating to me.

You know, Yeah, I think that maybe like, maybe if there had been a conversation that was like, hey, I'm uncomfortable. I know your friends there, but it kind of makes me uncomfortable this level of interaction given that you had feelings for her at a point. So, because you not do that. Like that, like, um, fuck both of you, because that's not cool on her part either.

Fuck you both, you're jerks. And he's like, you know what, you can't keep doing this every time you get jealous. Well, I can't just like drop you down from the ledge every single time you want to call and yell at me. And it's like, you know what, you can't keep doing this every time you get jealous. I can't just like go down from the ledge every single time you want to call and yell at me. And it's like, oh my gosh, she's already been doing this. I know. Exactly. This girl's crazy.

Like, she was dating your friend. You saw the season where he was dating your friend. Okay. I'm not saying that that gives him the right to go be all over her. I can see why that would upset you or whatever. But I don't know. Don't order a steak and they get mad that you don't eat cow. Like, lady, you saw the menu when you were ordering. So please. And then it's just like to be continued. I'm like, really?

I think, you know, it's funny. On Thursday, we had one of the best to be continued at all time. The way I'm getting arrested and then the screen goes black and you just are, boom, to be continued. And this time it was like, was like will Austin break up with a girl. We just met last episode It's like I don't know what will happen are do we Sleep over that you know oh But wow what a great episode Shall we turn our attention a little bit to Southern Charm New Orleans? We are real dumbasses because we're like, listen everyone, now that Vendipenpronf rules

is gone, we are going to start covering Southern Charm New Orleans on Tuesdays. Well guess what? This weekend's Southern Charm is the season. Now, it's all doing from one week. They get their own full episode for one week next week. But this week, this week, there's a lot of talk about Gian, Gian, the business woman. And I just love how they're just so obsessed

on hating on Gian and she's just like, she's just like isn't on this show. It's only Tamika, it's only Tamika. And it's always Tamika who hates on everybody who has a problem with everybody who's addicted to everybody for no reason. So now she's mad at Gion because Gion won't work with Barry after he called someone a fact gay, which is, you know, a good reason. Yeah, it's a very good one.

And you know, Barry had it like a legitimate, like Barry pulled Gion aside. They were having this Easter like, we'reniside. They were having this Easter like We're in Jeff. We're having a Easter party. So you know, you know, Barry you know Barry pulls Gianniside is like, you know, I know what I said was wrong, but like you were like we were like you trained me like every day And we were like friends and now it's like nothing and like you know, and she was she kind of was like Yeah, no, I understand how that was sort of hurtful, but we'll talk about this later. And I just felt like they were going to handle it and start that process. And then to make up, pulls Gianna side and it's like,

well, kind of, his Barry was like, you know, like we were friends beyond you being mad at me, you know, you don't even come to training anymore. And she's like, yeah, but, you know, this, I have a business. And like you, when you talk like that, you affect everybody. And he's like, no, but what I'm saying is that like you don't even come to training. everybody and he's like no, but what I'm saying is that like You don't even come to training. She's like I know But what I'm saying is when you do something like that it has consequences And he's like she just won't listen to me like yeah

Yeah, exactly fucking listen, okay, you fucked up You don't get to just say you're sorry to one random gay guy who wasn't even affected and then just pretend like nothing ever happened Okay, it's called consequences. Thanks for being sorry, but yeah, and Tameca is complaining that, you know, that Gion is just trying to, you know, infiltrate this group and that, yada, yada, and then I forgot who it was. Maybe it was Justin who's like, someone was like, um, does anyone realize that it was Barry who was going to Gion for funding for his idea? It wasn't like, yeah like she's an opportunist with yeah, that's what I mean these people like here

We go with this one again opportunist opportunist opportunist. I think the application is that they that she wants to be on the TV show I think that's the real implication there because she moved on from Barry to John the dumbass artist guy and so she's like if she's just trying to use everybody it's like Yeah, then actually like no, she's like someone said I don't remember who said it But someone said like she has the she has more money than all of us. Yeah, all of us She's like yes, John and then Gian so to make up all Gianna side towards the end of the episode. And she's just going in on Gian saying that she's not opportunist. And she's like, you know, you can't,

like you used to train with Barri, and it's like you can't, you can't like draw a line between professional and friendship. And Gianna's like, who says I have to? I was like, yes, Gian, yes. Yeah, and she's like speaking of professional, I was a client, so you telling me off is a very professional.

And she's like, oh really? Like, Tameekah just never has a leg to stand on because she's always in the fucking wrong. And then she, Tameekah just, she's out of arguments so she just goes real petty and real stupid and she's like, well, I'm married and you're not. She basically says that, like at least I'm married and then, she's like, well, at least I had the sense

to know when my marriage was over and just gets up and walks, which was. And that completely shut down to me, guys. So congratulations to me, because if this show is picked up, you just got somebody a full-time cast member, so I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you.

I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you.

I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm full of you. I'm fullter, and I'm like, I'm so team, Gion, it's like not even funny. And then we had, there was also a moment with Reagan and Jeff, which I don't know if you picked up on this, but so Reagan has moved back home because she's done with her French quarter

or something like that. She's back home for a little bit. And she's been at the French quarter for three weeks, okay? And she comes home for one day and it's like, Bring him out of the baby. Yeah, she's like, I'm back. back and so Jeff at one point in the party. He pulls her sign. It's like you know like You know, I thought I thought I'd be cool. I didn't realize I knew I was gonna miss you when I went to the French Quarter Bay I didn't know how much I

Missed I missed I'm just gonna miss you and I really I've been going through some stuff and I've been working on some stuff And like I don't know I've just been here alone and I kind of felt stranted. I just I just want to say I love you and she's like Jeff it's like I just I love you. She's like Jeff. I Promise you You'll be okay anyway, all right back to party. I was like can you just say I love you back I mean she did say I love you before because he's he goes he's like I love you and she goes I love you He's like no, I mean I love you. I love you. I then then he then he barely I miss you so much. Yeah, because absence makes a heart-girl bonder job

I'm like bitch. He is bearing his heart right now. He's like saying I felt stranded like I feel stranded And I'm going through shit and I like like I need you I love you and you're being like y'all be okay you crazy not had The other thing that happened. Oh, there was I mean there was some I like the discussion about Tameka's daughter and you know what she like The daughter being the only black girl in her school and like the issues that that creates there was a conversation about that which I really enjoyed I was glad to see that on TV.

And then there was then Gian and John Moody go to check out some venue for this ridiculous party where John Moody is going to be doing I'm going to be doing something y'all never seen before. I'm trying to do my to the accent without just sounding ridiculous. He's just so stupid. He's like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to work up for a charity party. And I'm sitting in a backyard.

Why don't I be on the roof? Because that's like a show. I'm going to be doing something crazy. John Moody live painting. Like great. That sounds thrilling. So it's gonna be on the roof. He's like,

cause I'm not gonna be with everyone down here. I'm gonna be up on the roof. You're gonna be looking up. Can we get some fire to go around with it too? I'm like, oh God. This guy really needs to just like stop. John Moody. Yeah, the best part of this episode to me was just to make it just like, stop. Oh, John Moody. Yeah, the best part of this episode to me

was just to Mika getting slapped down by G-On. I loved it. And to Mika couldn't recover. She's still walking around after like, well, I guess I just don't know my marriage is over. So I guess I will help you cut the cake, because I don't know what my marriage is over. It's like you lost.

You might want to just stop bumbling now. Okay, because you totally lost that one fear and square. Yeah, I've actually talked about this before. I've enjoyed to make it all season, but she has really just, she is the disaster. And she needs to get her shit together for sure. Well, this has something in common with the last southern charm we've talked about, which is I love a villain. I've always loved a villain, but I want a good villain. She's just terrible and wrong

And she's just trying to be a villain for no reason and being mean to people who don't deserve it She's just an asshole, you know, she is she is something of an asshole And it's weird how much I've grown to really like Reagan even though she was sort of obnoxious to Jeff and we did hear that they are no longer together So I wonder well, that's what we heard I wonder if we'll see that they are no longer together so I wonder that's what we heard. I wonder if we'll see that play out in the season finale. I mean I get the sense that this was shot like a year and a half ago because they were talking but this is Easter and there's no way this was

shot like two months ago. So I mean this the show premiered in April so clearly this was shot in 2016, 2017. So who knows where they all are at now. But you know, I've enjoyed this show and I'm excited to see the season finale. I hope the ratings have been good. And I'm, you know, I'm eager to see where it goes from here. But I think that was really all that happened and all the major things that happened. I mean, there was a moment Justin and his girlfriend who were like, flowers, you know, like, wedding flowers. But... And then of course, she's even trying to mess with them in this one. Like, to me, because like, look, and I found a big wedding ring,

wanted Justin, like, such an asshole. I find Justin oddly attractive. Is that weird? Mm-hmm. I'm not going to tell you who to be attracted to. I find, I think I find like, I find buried Justin and John all to be attractive in different ways. It's very strange.

Well, I don't know what to say about that. Yeah, Jeff, however, yeah, doesn't. I think it's a good haircut. He needs a good haircut. He needs a good haircut. He needs a shirt. And in proper, like, he wears shirts that are not the right color.

And then like, the color is just like always like Uniron's like flat and all the way open like it's just we need like a styling update on him and Yeah, we need we need to work on me to work on that Well for now, let's work on some male bag, man. Let's do that Okie dokie. Crappens mailbag, this is for people who support us on Patreon. If you support us on the Crappens mailbag level, you get to write in a question or multiple questions and we'll read them on the air. So we did do it last week because it was Memorial Day weekend

and we were just eager to dive into the weekend. So let's get back into it. Let's start with Hava Weber. Oh, Hava, she said. Hava! Havoy's, since in my real life, I work as an addictions counselor. I have been imagining some Brabo-Leverties attending A-A-Slash

and A-groups, which personalities would be in the group. And how do you think it would go a few people I think would be there are Luan Durinda Sonia Tom number two Stasi Duret and Jacks feel free to add others so who is in havas a a group slash an a group. Taylor Armstrong Thomas Raffinnell shouldin, he'd never go. You never would go. Kim Richards, but not go. She would be doing three steps with a life coach. Yeah, she'd be like, I'm doing the two steps. It's like no, Kim.

Oh, my goodness. It's hard to pick on Bravo because there's so many. Everyone could basically be there. It's essentially to pick on Bravo because there's so many everyone could basically be there It's essentially watch what happens live and you know, I can imagine sausage being there Because she says to see and it's like a sausage would just get up to be like hi My name is stossie s and it's my birthday and like Where are the fucking decorations? Who does that? Lisa Rina could be there she could be like hi My name is Lisa Rina could be there. She could be like, hi, my name is Lisa Rina, you're all drunk. I'll do it. We're doing coke in your own bathrooms. I'll do any gig. Even AA.

To be fair, I thought it was doing something for American Airlines, but AA works too. Have you seen Abus Duster? Are you kidding me right now? Are you kidding me right now? Lisa Vanderpom shows up she's like Alright, I called you all here today because the service lately has been terrible Lisa miss is not a staff meeting Welcome to alcoholics no longer anonymous I just want to say can't you just drink less? I'm just drink less.

I'm proud to say that I am known for the most beautiful and wonderful alcoholics anonymous meetings of all time. We're serving something sexy. It's a pump teeny. Oh, that has alcohol in it. It's a pump teeny That has alcohol in it. It's different I can imagine Shina there. She's just totally self involved. She's like It's so funny. My name is my name is Shina Shemurri and like it's anonymous. Yeah, Shina Shemurri and Well, I don't have an issue with like Alaka Hall But like I just wanted to to be here because um like Rob is like really great and like real thing back I think back together again and um, you know, he can actually like he can actually like kick booze and like cyber-manage or last

It's like really amazing how quickly he can become so like you've been talking for 45 minutes, you know Yes, sit down, Sina Now everybody thank you for coming to P.P. Oh, it's A.A. Lisa. Pumps, alcoholic. I'm synonymous. And Doree just gets out there. Goys, goys, thank you for coming to this Beverly Beach fashion show.

I'm so glad you're all here and you got a great seat right on the runway. I have to say, I'm here because I want to talk about something very serious which is that Lisa van de Pomp. She's needy and she needs love and that's basically it and we're in a safe space right here guys right right. You're all addicted to alcohol. Meanwhile Kyle Richards is addicted to talking about me. Did they're talking about me? Lou Andrew shows up three two one drinkin for the weekend. Thanks for coming to Lewin friends drinkin for the weekend Like this is Why don't we get drunk and fuck? What else is in there being? We get drug and fuck.

What else is in there, Bane? Sue Vlocky, she says, Hi boys, can't wait to see you in Philly. We can't wait either, and we have that second Philly show that I think tickets are still available for that, believe it or not. And she says, who would survive if the worst Bravo characters were put in a Hunger Game situation? Jack's, Patrick, Thomas, Catherine, I don't know which Catherine that is.

Catherine the Sea. Maybe it's Catherine Dennis. Kim, Nene, Luanne, and Carol. Who would be the victor, or would Bethany be a surprise sniper in the woods and take them all out? Well, Bethany is not a surprise, anything. She'd be in the woods like, hey, great, great, great, great.

Move on here, treat, move on here, treat, like seriously. What are they, dumb? What are they? I'll go in the woods like hey great great great great move on here treat move on here treat like seriously what are they dumb what are they what are they all going really like in the middle of the field like that's so stupid like literally someone shot with like a flame hour like like I'm like I'm on fire right now like I'm I'm in a fire trap and I'm like literally I'm fire like like somebody gonna put me out like I'm just gonna take that here like like like like I'll see like when I say kill me now I mean like

literally kill me now because I wasn't gonna burn to Embers and like it's like I can't my water up yeah she wouldn't have that special power of just bringing walls up though. She'd be like, what was that? What was that? What's up, what's up with that cannon? I think she's too noisy to ever stay hidden,

so she wouldn't win. Yeah, I think Dorenda would go pretty far because she obviously has a threshold for pain. Like she, you know, she can stab herself, burn her face. She would just, she would get pretty far, but she would eventually just just she probably would kill herself backs and just fall into a ravine yeah let's see who else was there in there they're I don't think like any I think Lou Ann would win I think the

way I would win because she's sort of like impervious to challenge she's like well I mean you know I'm just unleashed in this far as they're all these people just walking around I was like, hi, how are you? Try to shoot me with a gun with a gun and then try to stab me and then saw Neenie Leaks I was like, hey, count as a friend you come in the lineup and she tried to bludgeon me and I was like girlfriend No, and I just came here to the center and I've just been hanging out Yeah, Neenie Leaks would be that person that everybody bands together for one minute in the movie just to get rid of Neenie Yeah, okay, we can be on our own sides again. Let's all separate again. Yeah, exactly that person that everybody bands together for one minute in the movie just to get rid of Mimi.

Yeah. Okay, we can be on our own sides again. Let's all separate again. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I think Luann just somehow fails upwards and just wins the whole thing by doing nothing. Also I only protein, so it's very easy to go hungry. I mean, you drop a bunch of carbs into the middle of the field. I'm certainly not running for it.

Ha ha! Hit it, boys! Quit playing hunger games with my heart! With my heart! We should have been there. What happened to the start? Sorry, interrupted your song. How dare you? I waited for a rest and there is no rest or a pizza in the end. There's no rest when it comes to cabaret. People rest.

Music doesn't. One, two, three. Rhythm's gonna get you. Rhythm's gonna get you. Hunger Games gonna get you. Luan's gonna get you hunger games tonight. Papa. Bye John's got on drugs That's it. I would like I would like to rent it a win just because she would put on a dress made out of fire

I forgot about the fire dress at least the keys is like that girl is on fire literally It's like that girl is on fire literally Patrick by the way Patrick was part of suvelocke's situation. How would Patrick fair? I Mean, I think that like someone would just comment on Ravel his man bun and he'd be like no He would be actually be like sitting there like carefully crafting his man bun back together and just get to Capitated like he wouldn't be too much attention to someone would choke him on his own man bun. Oh my god would that be wonderful or what? So that brings us to the end of the mail ban. And a mail back. Everybody thank you so much we will be back Monday with real housewives of Potomac.

Don't forget to go get our new monthly shirt. What's the matter? What's happening? What's going on over crap and swear to dot com or watch what crap and dot com and go get your crap and slash tickets for Phoenix and San Francisco. Please guys, please buy those tickets. Thank you. You guys have a great weekend. We'll see you next week. Bye! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. and Apple Podcasts.

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