Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Thanks But No Thanksgiving

Episode Date: September 2, 2022

Austen invites ALMOST everyone over for Friendsgiving on Southern Charm, and we discover that Paige dislikes Naomi almost as much as she does squash casserole. Plus, we talk about fat cats.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, what happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crapins, a podcast, but all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about,

I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious, Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how are you? I'm good. What's going on over there being my my my my your air conditioner fix. I did. I'm a human again. Yesterday was so it was pure torture. We did so much recording yesterday. We did a lot and I was just melting. But now it's cold again in this place. And I'm like, I'm like a human being again. What's going on with you? Back to business.

Nothing, I just made some chickpea tuna salad. Oh, fun. Of using tuna, you use chickpeas. So that was fun. I was just mixing mayonnaise and mashing chickpeas. So you know, my life is worth living. That's the exciting life I'm living over here. That's almost like a mayo hummus.

Kind of, yeah, kind of, but it does taste like tuna. It's weird. But you eat tuna though, right? Like, because you're a vegetarian. Sometimes I don't eat that much of it. Yeah, I'm like a pescatarian, but I don't eat that much fish. I usually eat it if I'm at a restaurant or something because I'm like, good. The vegetarian meal at a restaurant is rough. Not to

easy. Yeah. They're like, here's a pretzel and carrot stick. Okay. Yeah. Rabbit. And they always look at you like you. I always think our lives. I always think it was a top chef masters or was it just top chef when they had to make like vegetarian food or maybe vegan food for, um, Zoe Deschanel and the chefs just like did not know to do with themselves. They were just like, I think it's just vegetarian. I think it was just vegan. She's full on me. Yeah, I mean, that was crazy because I had to make like almond milk and, you know, all that stuff that's like, what the hell? But, um,

yeah, vegetarian, you know, what I do is easy. It's not hard. And it's mostly bread and potatoes. Like, this is my diet anyway, you know. Anyway, it's a good, but I remember when Anthony Bourdain used to scream at vegetarians when he was judging food shows who would crack me up. He'd be like, loser. I'm not voting for a vegetarian.

Well, speaking of food, we got some of the terms today and they put out quite the spread of food because they were having friends giving before we dive into that though. Join us for winter's crappin'ing. We are recapping house of the dragons, house of the dragon, single. Normally, we have that recap up on Mondays. We are taking Monday off. It's Labor Day here in the United States. So winter is crappin' will be up on Tuesday as well as our normal Monday recaps. There will also be no take a seat this week because again, Labor Day. So if you see no new content on Monday, that's why. So just, but you know what though? If you just subscribe to winter is crappin' it has its own feed. If you subscribe to it, the content will arrive when it's there. So you don't have to even worry about when things are going to be there

because it will just show up. So go ahead. So then it's an onslaught of content because it's at Lanta, Winter is crappin'ing, below deck. Real girlfriend's parents. Real girlfriend's parents. Real girlfriend's parents. And Paris begins next week. Beverly Hills Southern charm. It's just going to go crazy. So don't worry. There's going to be plenty to listen to. But yeah, this Southern charm was pretty much just watching people bring food in from their trunk. Yeah, watching people bring food in and also having my formerly very highest team of page continue to send. Oh, I'm so sad.

I'm so sad when someone I really liked, just like, you know, I stop liking them as much. I think it's, I hold on for the little bit of random. I really do until I can hold on to them. I have to say, I feel like she saved it at the end. What really bugs me though is watching the online commenters go crazy. like this is between Naomi and Paige guys Craig is a fucking compulsive liar. How can you even be

villainizing these two dumb dumbs when it's Craig it's all Craig Craig is going to page and saying Naomi's trying to get him back And she's doing all this creepy stuff and people online are like oh, oh yeah, name me so creepy, trying to come for Craig. Get away from Craig. What has Naomi done to show any interesting Craig? She went to T to talk to him about acting fucking crazy. Like, what is she done? I just don't understand. I feel like I'm missing something.

I think that people are forgetting that Naomi dumped Craig, everyone. Naomi was the one who dumped him. Okay. I do not see anything that says, well, what's the opposite of buyers or buyers remorse? Sellers remorse? I mean, sure, they hooked up, but like whatever, that's a mutual thing. It does not, why is it that if they hook up,

why is it that she is the one who saw his feelings, but not he who is the one who saw his feelings? Why is it that way? Why is it that she is just like this? You know, desperate needy x who because she no longer has a man therefore must have like feelings for Craig. No, she was the one who got rid of Craig in the first place. So I don't I think that she had sex with him in Vegas. Yeah, he had sex with her. He was a one-seeing page. And then he was a one-still calling her and hanging out and telling Paige he should be able to hang out with her.

And Paige put the caboch on that. And then he acted like a psychopath to make himself look better for Paige like Naomi stocking Craig. I mean, it's just bullshit. It makes me so mad. I can't believe people aren't pissed off at Craig. And instead, they're like, name, he's a bitch.

They're overpaged. This is more he's more mature whoever, you know, like he's leading everybody to act crazy and then he just stands back like, I boiled a turkey and everyone's like, oh my god. Oh, he's so cute. I totally agree. I tell you agree. The men just sort of get away. Then like people will be like, oh, so annoying, but like they'll, but annoying. But the knives and the venom really comes out for the women. They'll people will be mad at the men, but not in the same way as they are for the women. We see this really across the board for all these shows, which is, I think, really unfortunate. But anyway, thanksgiving. So it starts out, the episode starts with Taylor collecting laundry, which feels like it's a metaphor of

something with a relationship with Shep. And then, but shockingly, you also see Shep. I don't know. This is a metaphor for her relationship with Shep. She says, I don't care if these are dirty or clean. I'm just doing it all anyway. I was like, you know, you need to rethink that strategy. I don't think it's working out for you. Yeah. Okay. He's like, cut to Shep. Yeah. Cut to Shep with little Craig in his, like, you. Yeah, okay. He's like cut to shop. Yeah, cut to shop with little Craig in his haunted house laundry room. And he's putting stuff in the dryer.

He's like, Craig, this is called derinkling. It's something that was developed during the Vietnam War. Anyway, I know you don't wear clothes. You're always naked. You're such a slut dog. Wow, slut face. Oh my God, you always wear fur. You better watch out for Peter, those spray paint you.

You woke little idiot. But yeah, that basement laundry room is something. It's like he's doing laundry on the set of saw. I know, that's what I was gonna say. Get out. Run. There's a tide bottle that's shackled to the floor. So it's like, should I cut off my handle?

Should I cut off my own handle? Inanimate saw coming to me. So then we cut to Olivia unpacking her suitcase, which is as thrilling as it sounds. And then we finally wind up going to Patricia's house where Patricia is doing the unthinkable, arranging pillows for self outside.

Well, I guess I don't have any good help anymore. So I guess I'll be the one to move a pillow a few inches. Wow, that was exerting. This was sad. This was like watching post hurricane footage, you know, when they're like, the chat was decimated. And there's just, you know, one sad rich lady doing her own pillow arrangements.

Poking around the stuff. Raphne is like, oh my God, I gotta help. So she just, a big plane flies from overhead and just like drops a cash card. I'm patricious. There, go to Applebee. Go to Applebee. This is a crisis, huh?

This is a crisis. Yeah. So Whitney comes out, he's like, oh my mother, it's a bit nippy up. I think it's nice, but then again, I have worked myself up into a heat, what would move in all these pillows around. So he has made her lunch. He's brought her in 1998.

Vijro! And she's like, I don't want to be a fan, man. I want a lockberry. This isn't breed, but I do like brain. So just tell that to the next person who replaces you. All right. We have silver cheese implements. And is this a paper napkin with me?

He should know that. Should he? Should he? Because I feel like the napkins have always been put in his hand. He's just, he's just a rich kid. He'll use whatever you put in his hand. Put it just, he's just a rich kid. He'll use whatever you put in his hand. Put it in a fucking tailpipe there. He'll wipe his face with it. Okay.

No. It's an interesting visual. He's like, mother outside. Do you want to live in napkin or tailpipe? And she's like, well, of course, anything's better than this. Pipe napkin bull crap. I won't say the S word. Now. And so he spends a lot of time at Joel Silver's house, okay. One thing Whitney needs are paper towels. Just get off his ass. So Austin calls up and so Whitney puts him on speaker. He's like, I'm talking with my mom. I made lunch.

It's her favorite thing. But I forgot to bring out the little napkins. I think she's mad at me. One cheese and French bread. Hello, Austin. And he's like, literally this week I'm having a friend's giving it my aunt's house. I love him. Alright, cookie. Alright, cookie. Robert Sakes for the news flash. I know. I also, I loved Patricia just declaring one cheese and French bread. You know she does that. There just around the house.

She'll like walk into a room and she'll go, Juan cheese and French bread. That's how I say, just space. Rambies just shaking in a corner somewhere in the fetal position. I know, he can't hear those words anymore. So Austin is like, what, that Patricia asks, like, who's coming over?

Or, when he says you should fax us over the guest list. And Austin's like, well, who's coming over? Or, Whitney says you should fax us over the guest list. And Austin's like, well, everyone's coming. Everyone, like Craig and Paige and Shep and Taylor and Catherine, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And so Patricia's like, let me talk to him. Ha, this is a rich lady. I just wanna let you know it's not et cetera, et cetera. Please tell me you don't say express so also

Express a letter out all right She's like so of the group on classes to Madison and Naomi are they gonna be coming? He's like well, Naomi is and Whitney I can't believe you're going to sag with me. You go on sag with you. You're gonna bring Naomi. She's like I can't believe you're going to sag with me. You're going to sag with me, you're gonna bring Naomi. She's like, why, what, what, Naomi? Naomi, what, oh my God. Yeah, because Basley Austin outs this to his mother,

which is by the way, still yet another obnoxious move by Austin. He really is so bad about this. And he gets so flummox when people do the same thing to him. So Patricia's like, oh my God. And then we cut over to Naomi's house where her cat Omlet is walking around. I already love Omlet. Omlet is fun. That's not a good name for a cat.

I love it. I love it. You know how many cats die from falling off of high places and people are like, oh my God, the cats can jump from anywhere. They can't, you know? And you know who knows that? All the dead cats splattered all around the place. Don't name your possibly future splattered cat Omelette.

I like it. What's wrong? Well, because the cat will be in the shape of an Omelette splatters. Yes, cause it's gonna be cracked like an egg, okay? You don't name your cat after dangerous ways they could die. Well, no, I mean, that would be, it would be bad if the cat was named over easy,

or sunny side up. That's more of a splatter cap, but an omelet is very well crumbled. Yeah, we're scrambled. It's just so low rant to you, like frittata. No, I'm freaking out. No, I'm freaking out there. No, omelet, because see, when I think of omelet

in the context of Naomi, I think of a beautiful little French omelet, with little chives on. I think of an adorable Julia child omelet. That's fancy, and then you eat it with, you eat it, and there's a little French omelette, with like little chives on. I think of like an adorable Julia child omelet. That's like fancy and then you eat it with, you eat it and there's like a little salad on the side and you feel so sophisticated. I mean, maybe this is just me getting ready

for real girlfriends in Paris, but that's the sort of omelet I'm thinking of. I'm not thinking of like going to Joe Ellen's diner and a 10 egg omelet flopping over onto your plate. Yeah, that's how I think of it. Also, you know, I lived in LA a long time and you really have to worry about your pets and those hills. I don't know, don't name your pet after food products either.

Well, that's fair. I mean, I feel like Colonel Gizmo, I mean, Colonel Gizmo really was authoritative and like if the charity came down, Colonel Gizmo, excuse me, I am a decorated soldier. But I'm just like, that's a power in me. It's like really cute, but it'll fuck with you if you ever try and give it a bath. Yeah, I miss Colonel Guzmão,

but I'm here for Omelet. I'm here for Omelet. I like that Omelet is a big fat cat, and I always think it's so funny how fat cat owners are always in such denial about their cat being fat. Like anytime you say, wow, your cat's really fat. They're always like, they're not fat. Don't say that.

Don't say that's like, well, I'm sorry. It's a fat cat. Well, you know, I have to say, if someone with a, we're just gonna disagree all day to day. So I'm just warning the listeners, if you don't want to crang the whole time, then go away because we're gonna fight over this one. Because my mother is always saying,

oh, that is the ugliest, fattest dog. She's so mean to my dog. She calls him ugly, she calls him fat, and I get so upset, you know, like who does that? And also it's like a Tumblr thing, like from back in the day, where people would be like, my cat's not fat, he's chunky. But they would spell it CH-O-N-K-Y.

And then it translated into girls saying that. I'm like, I love myself, I'm chunky. And so I just get triggered talking about chunky animals and chalky-this and chalky-that. Like what just happened? Let's just be fat. Let's just all be fat and happy, okay? I don't need you to misspell chunky

to make me feel better about myself, okay? I'm not chalky, I'm fat. And I love it, I've earned this, I've earned this skin sleeping bag, and I'm not changing it. I'm not changing it. Okay, well, first and foremost, we were talking about a cat,

and you've somehow taken it over to your personal life. It's not gonna fall. Like, when you call it, like to me, when you say, look at that fat cat, it's usually like in a term of enjurement, because they're're like so cute because there's like a big fat cat, you know, but I have found it every time I'm like, oh my god look at this big like this. I love this cat so big and fat and people be like, it's not fat. He's not fat. And I can actually have someone said don't call my cat fat. That's fine. But when people say like, my cat's not fat and their belly is just like dragging on the ground, I'm like, listen, this is what it comes to cats. It's different, it's different rules in terms of body shaming. It's not the same as like with humans. I would never say it to a human, right? Because humans have to say that. Well, but see that's the thing. That's why it's offensive. Because you're saying it to

a human cat. I'm showing my true face. You're saying it to a, you're saying it to a builer cat, but you're not really saying it to a cat. You're saying it to the owner like, oh, look at you. You can't take care of your cat. Your cat's fat. You slavinely fat. No, I blame the cat. I blame the cat.

I actually do not blame the owner at all. The cat, like that's just like the cat. Just the cat just loves loves to go like go at it, you know? And I just think it's adorable, but I just also think it's funny when owners like refuse to admit it. Like everyone wants to think they have like a sleek, a sleek, you know, cat that's, you know, like a little cheetah,

and it's like, no, you got a fat cat. Like a moose. The desire for it to miss like, is projected onto our pets. Yeah. So funny. I know. My dog said he's thin. I'm

gonna get in the mouth. I already can tell. Ben, this, this, this is about something larger than cats. So, anyway, the point is, I support Omelet. I support Omelet's journey. And I support Omelet's name. Okay. I support Omelet. I don't support fat shaming it. And I don't support naming it after a food product while you're fat shaming it. I'm not fat shaming it. I'm fat, I'm not you, not you, just like the world. I'm being fat supportive of omelet. So that cut dark, I don't know why.

It was a cat conversation. So then the French mom is there, okay, so it's about to get darker. Okay, so we've got French mom in the house,, I don't know if anybody else was traumatized by this classic Oprah episode years ago that started the woman of Who authored a book called wife French women or thin? Yeah, whatever the fuck that was This explains a lot of the same lady. Okay, fuck that lady. She came on with like her It's not even called a page mean it because she's French her shawl or whatever and said oh me I can't wait me don't know how to stop we can eat anything we want we just have back here

You want a croissant a bite of croissant. I was like okay French Yolanda Foster get the fuck out It get off of Oprah. How dare you how dare you be smurched the Oprah show with this nonsense clear And so that's the mom right now. She's like, you're cat is fat. Why can't you just have a tiny bite of fish? Why? Yeah, Gnami's like, you gotta stop calling him fat mom. She's like, fine.

Rotund. Mom, that's a synonym. So mom, we're going with chunky now. Oh, yes. It is just an omelet with lots of stuffing in it, but the omelet itself is not inherently fatter. So Naomi tells her about going to Old Brass. I don't know if Old Brass is like getting residuals from having its name said so much, but they say it a lot. And she talks about how she had too much fun. And her mom's like, Oh, what is this supposed to mean? As much fun as Omelet, not apparently not because look at this

fat bastard. This fat bastard must have been in Las Vegas, Kitty Las Vegas, because look how fat your cat is mom. And she's like, Well, we're supposed to say one night, what I said, astronaut, well, Whitney, I was like very surprising. I'm, you know, and she's like, oh, you said you know like this, you I didn't roll for one entire syllable. You bond with me? Oh yes, good for you. And Naomi's like, yeah, I like never came into my mind that I might be attracted to Whitney. so I don't really know when that change happened but yeah I'm gonna go with it because life is weird and apparently so it's my sex life now. Cool. I'll tell you when the change happened when he inherited like a hundred million dollars.

Last month or whatever it was. So um the mom's like well you know he's older it's better fit for you you know you're smart you've been through a lot, and you've got the bitchy attitude of a 60-year-old woman. So, you'll need someone who's been through life a little bit, but not actually done anything in life, to understand you. They're old physically, but the clean slate mentally. That's what we need. So she's like, that is such a French thing for you to say,

mom, she's like, okay, well, he has another French thing to say. You're cut to sweat, mom. Rotten. Both of us. Both of us. It's a shot. It's a shot.

So then we go over to Whitney and Pat. And when he's like, wow, that, that, that, that breathing, it's amazing mom. And she's like, oh, so don't try and change the subject. You and me only talk about an awkward cheese and the violence like, blink, blink, blink, blink. It's like very nervous violence. Randy's just plucking a nervous violin in the corner.

And she's like, if you would settle down and get married before I kick the bucket don't feel pressure but I'm living on borrowed time I'm not shuffled out any day now. Juan Brad cheese you'll just hear my ghost yelling that in the hallways. The ghost of Christmas always. One breath every act is the same. One breath, Jesus. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court, I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So now we go to Craig and Paige,, they're going to the store to get a turkey. And Paige is like, I've actually never been to a friend's giving. I must not have any friends, which is kind of shocking that she hasn't been to one. So she's like,

is Naomi your crazy bonkers super psycho ex girlfriend going to be a friend's giving? It's quite close going to be there boiling any bunnies for Thanksgiving. She's's never friend's giving because I think she's at home all the time. She's very close to their mom. You know, they talk about the sexy lasagna, everything's giving. And Craig does his like foe, yon thing. Yeah. Where he's like, oh, Naomi, oh, yon. Oh, I don't care about her.

And she's like, yeah, I mean, he says, I think she's lost. Well, he goes, well, yeah, he says, I don't care about her and she's like yeah, I mean he says I think she's lost Well, he goes well, yeah, he says I don't care because he says that she's dating Whitney now and she goes oh They're not boyfriend and girlfriend. I think he was saying she's dating Whitney to get paid to stop being so like not so about this Which she's not so cuz Craig went under her up, but she doesn't she's like whatever that doesn't count So now he's like whatever like, like she's just lost. What, why is Naomi lost? What, where, like, first of all, she just got out of like a hellish relationship

and now she's just like chilling out back at home that doesn't make her lost. So Craig is like, I can relate to being lost, but I didn't end up banging Whitney. I'm like, yeah, but you went up with Kristen Cavalieri for a second. So there's that. Yeah. You did a live with what's her face? Tommy Laren.

Tommy Laren, yeah, I can't. That's pretty lost. Listen to your lost accusations, sir. So, Paige is like, well, if I was banging Whitney, I'd be thinking about you too. And he's like, yeah, I mean, I'm really glad that they're together. Like I'm so happy about it. Like, he's like bringing out all his greatest hits of showing that he's unbothered. He's like, I will officiate the wedding. If this means Naomi is going to back off of me, all do it. Yeah, I'm like, I still have not seen any evidence that she's like really all up in your business, but that's fine.

So Paige is like, if anyone thinks Naomi is over you, they're an idiot. Okay, that's why when I first saw her at Catherine's birthday, the first thing I said to her was, girls expect girls to fight and it's like, no, we don't have the time. So I'm going to spend the rest of this episode kind of fighting with her. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, and she agreed with me. So I was like, oh, okay, maybe she's like a real girl and he says yeah, but like I was like perfectly fine with her All brass Obviously because she's gonna do anything for you to say like the she's been cool. You're an idiot Craig

So it's not like Naomi can't be shit like they want Naomi to be chill, but when she acts chill It's like oh, it's obviously a front. So like what can she do So then they go, she didn't pull you aside and now you have a problem, then she didn't pull you aside. Like, what the fuck? And then you have a problem when she does. Like, what the hell do you want for the, Naomi is coming into this with no energy at all, which is cracking me up. It's not even like she has positive energy or negative energy. She's just like rolling eyes energy. Yeah. So then they wind up at a grocery store. Like I quote unquote grocery store, it was sort of like a little market and Craig's like,

I look like a bait shop. Yeah. What would they do in one of that? It's like outside of the road, like we sell fresh bait, live bait and beef jerky. It was like a little gourmet shop and Craig's like, I love going to the grocery store. Which it was not because things like they're just fun. It's so fun. I'm like,, I love going to the grocery store, which it was not, it's like they're just fun. It's so fun. I'm like, he has never been to a grocery store in LA.

Now admittedly, I love going to the grocery store too. I will not push back on this, but I don't think he's been traumatized by people in Los Angeles in a grocery store. And how, people talk about LA traffic, LA traffic doesn't even compare to LA grocery store cart traffic, okay, because that is the, it's just like, you might as well just like,

not even move, you might as well just stand at the door and call out what you need and hope someone throws it to you. I know, and he's obviously never done New York City grocery shopping either where Paige is from because she's like, wow, look at this, you know, huge, so what are we in the SAMS? This is huge. So they start shopping and Craig gives us his, you know, worldly advice. He's like, yeah, doing chores with her is really good.

And it might sound silly, but like if you can have fun in the grocery store with someone, you're a really good couple. I actually don't think that there is too far off to be honest. It sounded like ridiculous, but I was like, actually, I think that's a pretty good theory. Um, well, I'm always alone. So I don't know. Um, so then he's reading the ingredients that they need to get check. Well, well, well, slow down. I can't. Okay. In New York, this is all in one aisle, and it's about as big as my knee. It's about as wide as my knee.

So I'm going to need time. Wait a second. Are we buying more things and can be carried in one bag in our own hands? This is wild down here. Is this how grocery stores work? This is how like cabboys did it. It's just going to be in a saloon as party. So he's picking up Italians,

sweet Italian sausage, which is like, huh, you already have one. Hey, is there a sausage called possessive crazy bitch? Because you also have that too. Oh my god, that sausage is following you. That sausage is following you. Okay. It went the other way. Crazy bit. I'm gonna tell that crazy bitch sausage off. Oh my God, that sausage just pulled Craig aside right in front of me on the first floor. We're supposed to be fostering our love.

Okay. The guy's like, you wanna check out? Like stop trying to pull me aside. This is fucking ridiculous. I have a girlfriend. Stop checking me out, okay. So Madison, now we go over to Madison and she's like at a personal trainer's place gutter and Venita shows up and Madison is like So then she's like my workout routine is five to six days a week my fiance is hot as fuck so I have to work out Unlike my exes who all were ugly whoever they were. Thanks so much Amazon life 15 is five to six days a week. My fiance is high as fuck, so I have to work out.

Unlike my exes who all were ugly, whoever they were, thanks so much Amazon life. I have, I'm more athleticer than actual clothes. Probably a hundred pairs of leggings, 50 sports brows, 10 sneakers, a flat tire. Oh, I'm sorry, that's Austin shirtless. He's not there anymore. Sorry Amazon, can we start over? Re-roll, a flat tire. Oh, I'm sorry, that's Austin shirtless. He's not there anymore. Sorry, Amazon.

Can we start over? Re-roll. Re-roll. My wedding dress is going to be Lulu Laman. So now that they're working out and Vanita, who's there, is like, I love Mass and Death, but my God, if she ever asked me to work out again, I might end the friendship.

And that's a wrap on me for today. Okay, thanks everyone. That's pretty much all she gets essentially. So she's like, well, you know, if the medium may not lock it, she may, she better call me after she has a baby because thanks, change. Thank you all for life's exaggeration, right? So she talks about, you know,

how excited she is to get married and how husband Hudson loves the new guy. And he said, like, we always knew he was the one mom, which is cute. And she's like, yeah, it's gonna be a party, but I'll tell you where the party's not gonna be. I was a friend's giving. And for me, just like, a friend's giving, I didn't even know about a friend's giving. Geez.

That's cold, right? That's ridiculous. I'm sorry, Marcy gets invited, but not Vanita, and like Austin probably say like, well, I don't know Vanita, but how do you know Marcy more? Right, I mean. She took full-time cast member, that's not cool.

He should be on the scene. And the optics of it are also horrific. Yeah, that's your othering her like what the hell? I don't understand why like like why it's never even brought up and no one even says hey where's Vanita like Vanita is fine with everyone and doesn't even matter because there's a lot of other people have different beefs so the reason like it doesn't just doesn't make sense. They're icing her and it looks like Leva's joining them, you know, from the clips for next week. So, oh, that's awkward. So this sucks for her and she's like, great, you know, that's very interesting, but that's it. That's it for Venita for this episode. So then we go over to Taylor taking groceries

into Shep's house and now the great chef. I'm a good person. Seen. He's like, oh gosh, since all that went down at all the brass, which is owned by Joel Silver, sponsored by Ken Burns. Of course I regret the whole thing. I mean, I'm just very much trying to be more considerate and more thoughtful and more selfless than I have been in the past. Hey, did you watch Big Brother last night? Everything Kyle said, but for me Mm-hmm. So Taylor is like oh, I'm gonna make some broccoli rice and some cat I'm gonna make a broccoli rice casserole and a green bean casserole

Which gross to both and she's like you can do the easiest thing banana pudding He's like, what should I do should I peel the bananas? Oh I'm putting he's like, what should I do? Should I peel the bananas? Oh gosh gosh it feels good to be a good person Yeah, so and then he starts feeding little Craig some of those peppered farm Chessman cookies and she's like, chap no, you don't feel that feed the dog cookies Gosh, I'm just a good person. I just want to do good things for all the creatures of the world gosh Okay, so we're just gonna fat shame every animal today. Yes, you've configured the fucking dog the pudding Well, it's Paula Dean putting so I don't know maybe like the like whoa

It is because she's like look up not yo mama's banana pudding. I was like not yo mama's banana I was like what recipe is this and I looked it up as Paula Dean. I was like whoa That's a Yeah, exactly and I was like, what recipe is this? And I looked it up as Pauladine. I was like, whoa. Oh, that sounds like charm. Yeah, exactly. It's. It really is. I'm sure it's delicious, but I'm like, also, it's like, it's just the fact that some of the charm

during Pauladine is hilarious. Yeah, only Southern charm could serve you problematic banana pudding, you know? Only Southern charm could like, not invite like, like one of the two. The only black Astley I'm the show yeah Blackpoll of even recipe

In the same I mean fucking a this show my god. Yeah, yeah, exactly She makes and listen. I say this as a southern person. Those of you who actually consider southern Texas southern, okay? but Yeah, this is some very meme off food that she's making okay. She opens a can of like a cream soup and just pours it over green beans.

That's her green bean casserole, okay? That is her green bean casserole. No, I know that. I was like, you're gonna boil some brisket to meme off this Sunday night. And just like, I know that like, I know that's like a like cream mushroom, all that stuff. I know, I, I know that's like a green mushroom, all that stuff.

I know, I think it's that I just don't really like green bean casserole. I find that I actually generally think green beans are like sad. Like, you know, if they're like roasted, they're better or like there's certain preparations they're good or I like them raw, but like a steamed or boiled green bean,

I think it's just like floppy and sad. And it doesn't get like, I think even if you add in the mushroom, like the cream of mushroom soup and the cheese, it's still, I still think it's a sad casserole. Like it's not one I would even bring to Vicki. It is a sad casserole and it really didn't have a chance just because of the name of it. It's like a jealous bean, you know, I mean poor I feel like I'm a

Greene I can't tell if it's green with any of your dream with naive day. Yeah either way. I don't want to either way either way of Malice or it's new here. It's like I don't want to have to teach you Nor do I want to have to you how to taste good. Yeah, but I just don't want to hang out out with a bunch of friends who make the recipes on the back of the Campbell Soup can. You know? I mean, sometimes like, I'm not saying for Campbell Soup, sometimes some of these package things that's like the recipe on the back is the best recipe,

but I just felt like I'm really with you on this, like watching her pour that on the green beans. I was like, I believe that there are probably very delicious green bean cast rolls. I just don't know if I believe Taylor was that delicious. That was not wow. It was just such a weird moment because she was such a, you know, like everybody's reading for you after this last week and then this is how you follow up. This is your follow up move. Okay. Paula Dean banana pudding and Campbell soup on top of green beans.

Like I can't tailor, I'm trying tailor. Yeah, I kind of thought tailor would be like an iron garden type. I thought she was gonna pull out. Like I thought we were gonna see like barefoot contest of parties in the background and she's like gonna do like the whole iron thing. But no, no, she's not.

And then Shep's like, oh, I felt the dog a cookie. Oh God, you want to break up now? Because this is your exit opportunity. And she's like, oh yeah, Shep speaking of that, you know, just be aware that when we're around our friends, they don't really understand our banter. Okay, so you've had three days and this is what you come up with.

That was just fun banter. The answer sobbing about in the other room. Yeah, that's their style. So he's like, gosh, he's like, you know, gosh, I don't want people think we have a bad relationship on learning on the fly, work and progress. And she's like, yeah, when you, when we banter like that, and then people think like, he's an asshole to her And then she just takes it and that makes me look bad chef So please only emotionally abuse me and private from now on. He's like, yeah, okay my little banana Got him to a good job

By the way, I'm just gonna say this now because I'll probably forget later One thing that bothered me about the banana pudding ultimately, you know, is that like on the topping, he put like all those Chessmen cookies in like a grid, which was nice. But what bothered me was that the grid itself was not centered in the pan. Did you notice that?

Like the margins were not even, like two sides had like wide margins and two sides had narrow margins and that drove me nuts. Well, I would like to call you an anal Annie, but I did notice that those cookies are too thick to be on top of the ante putting. Okay. That's what I noticed. So I guess we're just, we're just a couple of coins you need a rest. I think. Yeah. This is the energy we're bringing in the long weekend. Everyone better watch out.

Look, I'm curious about dog shaming, dog fat shaming. There's not even a dog that was fat shamed, okay? But I'm pissed off about it and soup on green beans. Yeah. And now the lining up of cookies. The alignment. You know, well, it was like one of those things where he started the cookies.

He started the cookies on one edge of the plate. And by the time he got towards the other edge, there wasn't enough room for another column. Oh, I know what you mean, man. I have gay eyes. Yeah, I have gay eyes. Mike thought it was going to ever ask him to tile. No, just don't ever ask him to tile.

I am thinking about that banana pudding though because I'm not gonna lie. I did look at that recipe and I saw that there was cream cheese involved and I'm like, all I can think about is cream cheese right now. I love banana pudding and cream cheese. Okay. I'm chunky. So then, um, Okay, I'm chunky. So then we go over to Austin's aunt's house, and like it's nice, and his sister Katie's there. And so they're working. I don't know the way you said it's nice.

Like you're like, it's nice. Like almost like you're like, like you're about to like just lay into the aunt's house. I was and then I was like really get through the recap. You know like how am I going to bitch about every little thing that comes out of the screen? That house was nice. It's nice. Yeah, it's just um, I'm spoken truth about his aunt's house. We do not say. Oh god. okay. So then they're basically setting up and talking about solo cups and she's doing all the work and he's talking about how hard he's working,

but he's just standing there holding a football, which I feel like is. That's evidence that you're not working that. We've all seen that. Yeah, that's like literally like you don't have a plate in your hand, you don't have anything you're helping set. You're holding a football and there's no one else there except your sister. There's no reason to hold the football.

You were not helping. Right? Yeah, we all have that guy in our family. He's like, wow, I'm doing, I'm doing Thanksgiving. Well, you're making your sister do everything as you hold the football. Yeah, and so she sets up a whole table and she's like, doesn't this centerpiece like so nice?

Doesn't it just say Wendy so much? Or is it Wendy N. Barbara? Because that's like the mom and the aunt. So Austin's like, the crows have been doing Thanksgiving at my aunt Barbara's house. For as long as I can remember, and my aunt Barbara's house is the epitome of thanksgiving. Oh my god, I drove across the lawn when I was 17 so many times, and some Thanksgiving. So they start talking about how does this orange is for a while and look for a zester.

And then they talk about the pain of the potato masher because you can never close the drawer. And I have the same potato masher and just used it today from a chickpea salad still cannot close the drawer after I dried it off. I was like, damn, it Austin's right. Yeah, he's right about that. I have a weird master.

I got a master like 10 years ago from Oxo because Oxo usually has like really innovative takes on the simple things. And I was like, ooh, Oxo has a take on a master. And instead of being like that wire thing, that like wires zigzag, you know, that we saw. It's kind of like almost like a paddle, it's got a handle, but it's like,

it's like a paddle with holes in it. And then you press down and the paddle smushes, but then it also, like the potato goes up into the holes, and I hate it. I hate hole management. I hate hole management. I hate hole management. It is so not good.

It's like one of the rare oxo failures. I think it's more of a force. You know what I'm talking about? Yes, I do, I do. I'm a big potato person. So I've got three different kinds of measures. Okay, get the one. Don't get the oxo.

When you get the classic one that Austin had, that's the one to get. Yeah. get the classic one that Austin had, like that's the one to get. Yeah, so they talk about how zesting oranges, like seriously, I'm reading through these notes. I'm like, wow, I thought we were. And he's like yelling, by the way, Austin's like yelling, this entire episode yells over such basic things.

He's like, look, look, it's a zester right there. Why are you yelling? And he's like, I mean, it's a cheese grater, but it'll work. And she's like, I mean, it's a cheese grater, but it'll work. And she's like, oh, I just think I can't stand this. Please just leave. Let me just,

why are you putting so much work still in the thing? Come on, Katie! She's like, oh, you get so mad at the vests. What the hell? Has anyone been mad at like too much zester anything? Like, zest is like the best. Yeah. The mad at like too much zest and anything like zest is like the best Yeah

So then we go over to Craig and Paige the zestless Craig and Paige yeah working on their turkey brine and Craig's like Oh, wow, you look really cute right now like you're not wearing any color. She's like, oh wow, you look really cute right now. Like you're not wearing any color. She's like, yeah, I'm sorry, but I just can't with no black anymore. Like it's just not me. It's like, well, why don't you wear black down here? It's just, well, because everyone's like, basic beige Betty down here, and I'm like trying to fit in.

He's like, yeah, it's a very pastel floral city. Well, that's not beige Craig, but fine, I'll just say yes, I agree. He's like, well, I need help taking the turkey out of the that. And then we have to take it to Austin's house. Yeah. I know Craig. Like immediately after what do we do with it directly,

directly after it comes from the grinder, we're just putting it on the floor. Like, do we have a plan for where it's going to go? Well, you know how I feel about touching Rob Oldtree, because in school, I think, I suppose that she know fat. He's now my feelings. And then he gets his Vietnam flashback. He's like, so there was like this 200 person chicken dinner at the fire hall when I was in high school and then they put the cook chickens back in the boxes that they're watching and was brought into the kitchen with and like 130 people were hospitalized and I think

in my head, if you touch a raw bird, you're going to die. This is still good to dinner at the fire hall. You know what I mean? Yeah, like the fire hall is really the issue. This is such the story that I'd expect to come out of Craig's high school. Like of course, Craig went to high school someplace where they put cook chicken in raw chicken boxes and served it. And I feel like it's a very carefully placed they because you know Craig was like chicken

for 130 people. I'm a chef, I could do it. What were these boxes? What were these raw chicken boxes, by the way? Have you ever heard of such a thing? I mean like restaurant, like maybe they just had as much as restaurants, you know, when everything comes in a big box, but still they don't, it would be in plastic, it wouldn't just be like rubbing it against the cardboard. I'm not sure about your ride. It is a little. I don't understand the whole thing. I'm sure there's a news story and I'm going to look it up. Be great, Delaware chicken poison thing and 1996. So stupid. I put fire haul in there. I think that's the keyword you really need to make that search.

I'm sorry. The varsity basketball team dinner went awry. So she's like, okay, well do you want me just to get it out, Craig? Because I don't have a poultry disorder. And he's like, hold on, it's a big bird. Oh my god, I'm helping you. Now we're both touching it. Oh god. Oh god. I got, I'm helping you and that we're both touching it. Oh God, oh God. Like Greg, breathe, Greg. Tell my mom I love her. Greg, you're okay. Tell my mother I'm sorry I was discovered by somebody

who's not in floral print and pastels. What? Tell my mom next time you walk down the aisle in the sheep market, think of me. And he goes, want to get the gibberts out? I said, what? Gibberts. The gibberts.

He gets the stuff inside. Jimmy Gibbler. Do you want to get Jimmy Gibbler out of the church? The ginsered something and the giblet. Sorry, whatever. Do you want to get a ginslet out of there? They have fresh cocktails inside the turkey. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Express so letter. So she's like, oh my God, I feel like a doctor helping deliver a child. I said I was a doctor once. People bought it for like four years. No one got healed for their poultry disease. It was unfortunate. I apologized. Paging Dr. Dessorbo, we have another pregnant lady who needs her baby taking out

no problem. Here I go. Oh, I guess I just took out your bowels. Sorry. Gross, what are you wearing? Why are you always hanging around my boyfriend? Your baby, like compared to you, your baby's lucky to be coming out make it. I'll just say that. Congratulations, you have a boring beige baby. Your baby is officially a basic boring Betty bitch. Okay, beige Betty bitch. Oh, so then back at the at Barbara's house, Catherine arrives in like a pink, I don't know, like a pink jacket with a matching hat or whatever. Yeah, I think she brought.

She brought the hat and look, you know, she brought meat for the Catherine meatballs. What did she call them? I think she titled them. Yeah, they're called grape jelly meatballs, which the name really says so much, you know, like here we are, shading Taylor for making a fairly classic preparation. And now Catherine comes in and she's like, my drink. So she's like, she's like, I'm making grape jelly meatballs.

And so at long last, we get to find out what the hell those meatballs were that she served Caleb several episodes ago. So she's like, it's one of those small time recipes made with herm chili sauce, grape jelly and ketchup. This is a monk's corner stuff, y'all. I'm like, yeah, you can only serve it to monks because they vowed not to speak. Like, you don't want any reviews get mad on these meatballs. I mean, Jesus. She says, yeah, and my mom used to also make a pie with mellow yellow. You can hate it all you want, but that shit was good. Okay, mellow yellow pie sounds different, but it's

not great jelly on a meatball. Yeah. I mean, look, I can understand. I'm sure if you mix chili and grape jelly and catch up, there's a lot of sweet and tangy and whatever. I can see it may be working, but like just the, but the sound of it is just like putrid, like I'm something like horrifying. I'll be, I will try it. I will try it. And I'd be willing to, to quote unquote, eat my words, but I'm telling you right now, I'm, I'm not about it right now.

Yeah. So then Austin is telling them that he's decided to go for a live. Yeah, and he told her, guess where? Old brass, okay. So let's just keep saying old brass. Yeah. So he told her it old brass. We sucked it so many times.

Just try and make something that you know what I mean. And Katie's like, wow, oh, hey, by the way, did you wash your hands? Please don't touch things with your meat. How do you go? He says, meat is going on this. It's like, okay, yeah, but you're touching other things. I guess someone's forgotten their lesson about the Delaware Fire Hall.

Pultry disaster of 1996. Austin, there is literally an Austin-sized handprint on the wall that's red with meaches. It's given the wall. So Craig and Paige arrive, Crayige, if you will, and Paige is like, oh my god, Katie's here, and she's in black and leather. Thank God. Yeah, and then Austin's like Craig how heavy is the turkey? I think it's 16 pounds. It's 16 pounds turkey. I'm like that's pretty standard I think like 12 to 16 pounds Maybe up to 20. I don't know like I did not think 16 pounds was outrageous for a turkey But Austin's like mind is blown by it And Craig's like yeah 16 pounds. Have you ever had a turkey, but Austin's like mind is blown by it. And Craig's like, yeah, 16 pounds.

Have you ever had a fried turkey? It's fucking amazing. I saw it on TV when it says make it. And Austin goes, no, never! I'm like, why are you yelling at every single thing? And then Craig is like, they go, Craig and Austin go to the car to get stuff and he's like, we have to get this stuff set up.

And Austin, again, he goes, I know, we have to do this. No, I'm like, oh my God, chill. So they set up the fire and Austin's like, let's just set it up by the pool. And then if something goes wrong with it, we just kick it in the pool. Is that how you deal with Flaming grease? I feel like my instincts say that's not what you do.

Aunt Barbara is just like slowly cutting herself. Well, she was. She's locked in the attic or so. Where is Aunt Barbara? This is her house for crying out loud. She's like up and just watching from a window. When I saw them put all the hot dishes down on that barewood table with nothing underneath them, I was like, okay, Aunt Barbara has officially, if I can run to real or something, she's

done with this family. It's like risky business, basically. It's like the Southern Charm version of risky business. Like, no, Aunt Barbara says, I'm going away for two days, y'all take care. So. So the girls are in the kitchen now, because the guys are like, and so Naomi comes and she's like, oh, high page and page is like,

huh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, just like standing there giving her dirty looks. And she's like, wow, page, you look amazing. Guys, could you help me with these? They're heavy and pages like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, she was, I made these dishes. I definitely made these dishes myself

Just like I brought a squash casserole in a salad like finding like two reasonable dishes and pages like Which I don't like I don't like that what you don't like salad or Swash cast or else like I don't like it. I don't like that which is definitely don't like that or swash cast or else I don't like it. I don't like that, which is- I definitely don't like that. Like, who's so rude? Who's so rude? Who's so rude?

Who's so rude? Now I know why you don't go to fucking friends giving. They're like, jeez. I know. We don't need like freaking page maloxing me, giving these like off the cuff of yous. Did you mean to squash a cast or all? Yeah.

Hahaha. Why are you wearing beige? Hahaha. Did you mean to look so basic? So Nadine just kind of Nadine, Naomi just smiles like with question marks in her eyes, you know, and then Catherine loves this, of course, because she hates Naomi. So she's like, so anyway, Paige, like, do you want to drink? Because Katie goes, yeah, we have bourbon, Prosecco, punch. And Naomi's like, where's Austin? They say he's drinking outside. And Naomi goes, this is really good. Actually, this punch is very bourbon heavy. And Paige goes, I don't think I like

bourbon. bourbon. Squash casserole of alcohol. Mike Burraman. Burraman, it's a squash casserole of alcohols. You're really going hard with your proxy food, your food proxy reward. I know, but also like considering that there's so much discussion about how Naomi is the crazy ex

and she just is like out of control. It's like, Paige is the one who's acting certifiably bonkers like, like acting crazy. Dissing squash casserole, it's so random. five leap on. Like, like, acting crazy. Like, you're just saying squash casserole. It's so random. So, it's like funny.

It's so funny because Naomi is just like, this girl, like, I'm supposed to be afraid of her. I dated Craig for six years, you know? Yeah, if anything, I'm sure Naomi feels sympathy for her because she knows what's coming. So, Naomi is like, she's like, um, I would say it's pretty obvious that Paige doesn't seem to please with me. So and then Naomi is like, um, Naomi asked Paige, so did you just like fly down here and

bitch goes, mm-hmm, and then drink some water slowly because there's the egg out here. Yeah, because they have because so you came down here, that's cool. So did you just come down here for the week? I mean the weekend I guess meaning like it's a long weekend if it just Thursday I got here and she's like yeah, I mean, duh, right? So she's all nervous and she's like yeah, I have no idea what Craig is said to her But I'm trying to be friendly and copacetic and I feel like my mom just saw my cat's weight gain. So, I'm not at least nervous up. So outside, awesome.

It's continuing to lose his mind. Let's get the peanut oil boiling Craig. It's a massive insane bird. God massive bird. So Austin tells us Craig acts like he knows what he's doing, but I know somewhere back there he doesn't know what he is doing. And Craig's like, hmm, I know what I'm doing. I've just never done it before, but I've been with people that did it. What you do is you cook the turkey. And when it's done, you just put it on like the Styrofoam tray that the raw turkey was in. And

it should be cool. He's like, yeah, don't get oil on the side because oil is flammable and we don't want oil to get to flame. So watch out for that. Because I'll say that the margin of error is small and it could possibly explode. It's like, we definitely should have said that because it definitely just slashed.

Okay. And because if it's not thawed, then it'll start getting hot and then it'll shoot up to the moon. And then sometimes the fire from it could catch the deck on fire and then sometimes the deck can catch the house on fire. This is who they're fighting over. I know. The many subtleties of fire spreading. This is who they're fighting over.

I know. The many subtleties of fire spreading. So, so Shep and Taylor show up and pages like, Hi Shep and Shep is like, Hi Page, oh, I'm gonna start calling you Sky Miles. She's like, yeah, I'm almost that silver.

Oh! So it's like, hi everybody. Shet me and Banana putting all by himself. Isn't that cute? He's like, yeah, I thought this is the cutest dish that's ever been made. Oh, our stealer. I just have so much respect for you.

Mmm hmm. Yeah, isn't our in front of people banter so loving now? So, now, I mean, while Craig and Austin are trying to light this burner for the deep frying process and they can't, because there's windy. So Craig is like, oh, stupid, stupid, we need a windshield. We need a windshield. So he like, he tells, I think he tells Austin

to hold up, he gives Austin like the pot lid and he's like's like, here hold this here and I was like literally a shield. Oh my god. Like everything, everything is pissing off Austin today. Oh my god, someone's coming in. I wonder who it is. I'm pregnant. Oh geez, here's Marcie. So Marcie comes in with John and then begins Marcie's storyline for the episode. Yeah, this is a family recipe.

We have to brown the marshmallows. Yeah, that's her arc. Well, listen, I decided to make sweet potato pastoral because I figure I'll be making a lot of soft, mashed, pure-raid foods. Cause I'm breaded that. Mashed pure-ade foods because I'm pregnant. Um, so Shops like, Whoa, is that a family recipe?

She's like, yeah, I mean, I'm adding to the family, so I figured why not add another dish. One marshmallow for every person in our family tree. I was gonna do pig on the blanket, but I thought that was a little on the nose. So I'm doing pregnant sweet potatoes instead. It's like, whoa, go wash! So then Leva comes over and she's like, oh my god, my arm is gonna fall off because like Craig told me he needs a lot of gravy. So that's what I brought. And then we got a flashback at her making gravy, which felt unnecessary, but I guess they needed to, like, we should probably give something to let us.

So here she is chopping onions. So then Olivia shows up with her pot of mashed potatoes, and which she really should have made there, not ahead of time, but that's fine. And it's not going to bring her mother to the place because you know, the livid didn't make that shit. Come on. Yeah, enjoy your vodka and mashed potatoes. That's what that's gonna be. Yeah, bunnies at home like, darn it, I can't close this drawer stupid

measure. I'm gonna have a drink. It's only 3 p.m. but it's the longest nobody tells my husband. So, um, so the chef goes the backyard and I was like, Chef, I have the burden in my hand. Oh, gosh, a burden in the hand is worth two in the pot. Aww. So they start making fun of Craig because Craig said he knows what he's doing. And so I was like, yeah, Craig has this weird thing where he acts like he knows what he's doing in the cooking arena and he really doesn't.

So yeah, I'm terrified that Craig's in charge. And then we see the clip of Craig being like, I'm the barbecue master. Okay. Uh-oh. Okay, so you don't grow it out of grass. Okay, burn it. Just let him match and throw it on top of it. The lack of expertise is alarming.

You're the architect if you're on demise. Back of expertise is alarming. You're the architect if you're on demise. So then Craig goes into the kitchen to get something and then he's like, oh, hey, Craigie. And he's like, oh. Oh. Yeah, good job, Craig. Good job.

And so then, and then Paige goes to backyard and she sees the table. She's like, wait, wait, this is actually really a count. And this is like so count. Our all friends giving's like this, it's so cute. Oh my God, I hate the think that this count table is gonna be ruined by disgusting squash casserole. So she sits with Catherine and,

because Catherine loves her now, you know, Catherine's like, yeah, I get to watch somebody take them. Naomi. So then Naomi, this is intercut with Naomi and Olivia going to the bar. So Catherine's like, so are you having a good time? And she's like, um, like the phone group for me is a lot. And also Naomi is a full year anyway.

Like she walks in like, hey girl, hey, you look so pretty. And I'm like, um, girl, we're not friends. And you're gonna get with my boyfriend. Like, I'm not gonna you anyway. Like she walks in like hey girl, hey you look so pretty and I'm like, um, girl we're not friends and you're going to get with my boyfriend. Like I'm not going to fuck with you. And if I was, if I was like, uh, not around a friend's giving, I would have already popped off at her. Okay. I would have popped. The captain's like, yes, captain's like like clapping.

She's so excited. I just don't know where the fuck are you talking about? Someone said, hi how you look pretty and you're ready to rip their fucking heads off? Oh my god. Yeah, she's not fooling anyone. What are you talking about? Yeah.

So now the turkey is in the pot. So not page is like, crack, you're so good. And then Olivia is talking to Naomi. And she's like, how are you in page? Naomi's like, I definitely picked up some weird energy from page today, but I could also be in a sensitive place because my mom was fat, she and my cat again, so it's hard to really know.

She's like, yeah, like it was weird energy. Like I said, hello to Craig and then he like turned his back weird. So then back to page, she's like, oh my god, it's so weird. I'm not really here for fake nice. Like as a girl, she does some shabby shit. I love that page is always waving this girl's like girl power. It's all girls girls girls. I mean, if you're not like good to a girl, then you're like not even a girl. Like, what kind of girl are you? You're like not into girl power. I'm like, well, but page is the the worst shameer of other girls Yeah, she was like the first to to undermine this relationship right here

So Catherine's like I'm glad you see it and Paige is like yeah, like when we were at petrishes for the dog wedding No, no, I'm glad you see that I put great jelly in my meatballs. No one ever believes I do that. Oh Yeah, that's disgusting anyway when we were at petrishes for the dog wedding she pulled on the side and like That was like one of the most inappropriate things ever like she sat down with him and had a conversation with him that is like Disgusting that is like squash casserole topped with your grape jelly meatball SP No So then back to Naomi. She's like, I mean, there's like no feelings.

There's nothing there. Like, I don't know what to do because I think like things have been misconstrued. And then back to Catherine, she's like, if that was me, like if I was Naomi, I would walk in here with egg on my face because like I would be enraged. But also a probably broken egg on my face. I've done that before. It's awkward, but sometimes I just don't organize a fridge very well. You're playing Agtos with chef so then

pages like I just you know I just wouldn't have the balls to put someone's boyfriend pull someone's boyfriend aside like also no secret acts like a normal person And Catherine's like yeah, I think they know me just thinks that like Craig wants her back like Strop top stop trying to insert yourself in someone's happiness because you want attention like annoying like another reason again I think she's like a petty little bitch. It's a petty little bit like what are they like they owe me is just like Hey Craig wow look at her looking for attention. What a petty little bitch saying hello Craig wow look at her looking for attention what a petty little bitch saying hello They just like yeah, I've acted like a peach but if she says let's talk about this I'm gonna be like bitch enough

So she's like if she wants to have a reasonable conversation with Craig to clear the air I'll be like bitch you're at our control. You want attention. You're not a fucking pizza way. I am I was in court today and then I'll be like, bitch, you're at our control. You want attention. You're not a fucking bitch the way I am. I was in court today and then the other council was like, Judge, can we have a sidebar? And I was like, no, stop fucking stalking me. Okay, I have a girlfriend. Yeah, I was like, I was like on my bank of America site today to look at my accounts and then like something popped up

that was like need help, need to chat with us and then Paige was like, who are you talking to? And I was like, this fucking needy ass bank, they're so jealous. I was ordering an omelette at the diner, which I know some people really don't think it's a good name for a cat, but you know, that's neither here nor here.

So like I was ordering an omelette and the waitress was like, can I bring you a side? And I was like, I have a girlfriend's darker. All right. Yeah, I was on, I was like, listen to the radio and I was listening to Tevin Campbell. And he was singing that song, can we talk? And I was like, get away from me and you need to sing her on the video. So then Austin starts throwing his football and breaks the fence or shot someone breaks the fence.

That was Austin. Austin threw the football from way up above and it like her beautiful picket. You know that this is going to shout out her life. This is the part in the movie where everything in Amber Arbor's life is perfect and then a little piece of her picket fence breaks off and then everything unravels in her life. She's like dish-chef old to the standing in the middle of traffic and like a night counting like, my fence.

The unraveling of Aunt Barbara. So chefs like, oh my god, it's a never-ending hoodies! And he just puts a little tip of the fence back on. And so they check on Craig and Craig's like, hey, baby, what's our total? What's our total baby? And Paige is like, I'm hold on because like I'm tick-tocking you, Instagram live, you and running the time worth the same time.

Oh my God, you're like so talented. Can I pull you aside? That's right. That's what boyfriends say to girlfriends. Yeah, and I was like, Craig, you say baby so much now and peach is sorry. He's in love So then they pulled a turkey at which looks amazing and then now everyone's dishes It's like that rush after the turkey comes out when everyone all of a sudden wants to be in the oven So things are coming in and out and everything and chef has to take chef and Taylor take like her cats roll out together And he's like Taylor don't drop it like an egg. Don't even look. Idiot.

My love. Gosh. I've really turned this one around. And Marcy's like, wait a minute. I got him around the marshmallows. We've reached act three of my storyline. Can I brown me now? Like Jesus Christ, Marcy.

Oh, so, I'm so glad you picked up on that also. I was like, I love that you was talking about her marshmallows. So, so funny. So Olivia and Austin are now talking about how there's like, they hope there's no drama today. And Austin's like, really? Because like, page and only, only like have you seen that like We're trying to have a whisper conversation here

So yeah, so now everyone's like Craig's carving the turkey and foods coming out cast rolls hot cast rolls on raw wood tables all that good stuff And eat with his mouth. Oh, I hate how Austin eats like this. He puts a turkey and his mouth he's in. Ah, hey, it just makes me crazy. It sounds like a monkey jerking off at the zoo, stop it. But you know what's also a total reflection of like Shepp and Craig's total lack of respect for someone else's property.

It was at one point, Shep is standing up on the balcony and he throws a wine bottle down to Craig across a swimming pool. And Craig catches it. It was like very close to not catching it. And I'm like, that shit could have broken, glass could have gone flying and kind of flying into the swimming pool.

And when you get glass to a swimming pool It's like a whole thing right like don't you have like Drain it or whatever. I don't know what you do when glass breaks in swimming pool But I know it's drama and I'm like these fucking guys just bring the point down to the set to Craig Pouring up Barbara. Yeah, so they all sit down and Olivia is like oh my god. Look at that sunset. God's showing off again tonight so they sit down and Olivia is like oh my god look at that sunset God showing off again tonight So they sit down and They're gonna do a cheese really showing off. He's like look what look at the Lord made. Oh look with the Lord made God's like I love a juxtaposition. I call this high low

This is where the game rose and torn comes from you're welcome my children Oh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Look what the Lord made, Tempachiko. So, can't spell Tempachiko without, oh, which is also with Lord. So, everyone is sitting for dinner. And then often it's like, okay guys, I wanna make a toast. I just wanna say, things that I'm thankful for. Katie, I love that you're in town early. I adore everyone at this table and I hate everyone who's not at this table, specifically

Madison but Alexander to Vanita, because why not? So this is why I wanted everyone to be here. You're welcome now. Excuse me while my lips continue moving while I finish this toast. It's such an asshole. So mad at him for not inviting Van that's so shitty. It is really shitty so then They do it cheers and then chef brings out the broccoli casserole

He's like oh my god, Taylor. Let's just put it down you fucking not idiot. Oh god. Oh, don't get a point for that I'm gonna point for that. Yeah, like this casserole's really good. Wow, this casserole is good This casserole is really good because it's actually just like a meal of 10 different cast rules. So everyone's made a cast roll. This cast rules great. I hate it. I hate this squash casserole. Who here hates this cast rules much as I do. It's the worst table, right? It's like the only cast roll I hate right now and disabled. Whoever made this one. This cast role is like buying something from Zara

full price. It's disgusting. It shouldn't even be in our consciousness. I can tell you what, that bait shop is out of Campbell's soup. OK, because everyone stopped on their way over. Everyone did. So they all do group picks and stuff. And then Taylor slides in front of Shep's face.

And he's like, Taylor! Oh, God! I sure like you, deeply. Yeah. Also, I forgot to mention that Austin goes, I think this group could use a nice meal to bring us all together, except for Vanita, and remind us that we're all thankful to be with each other,

except for Vanita, and we don't always have to yell and bitch at each other. Huh, like Madison does. Hmm. So, then they take more pictures pictures and Naomi's taking one of the whole table. She's sitting at the end of the table and she's like, okay, another group peck, Craig, smile and page scoots. Is this meant for real right now?

Who tells someone's boyfriend to smile? Who does that? I know. Like, I can't even believe it. He asked for a photo and she took the photo. Like, what a crazy Craven bitch. Mm-hmm. So then, the leva is like, oh my God, my ears are cold.

So she puts a napkin on her head. She's like, oh my God, let's do it, guys. And we can take pictures, because it's Thanksgiving. So Naomi puts one on, and I think Olivia, I don't know. And they look like little pipsmanas, right? They right they look like little like they've tied them, you know like little like Old country yeah, I'm sure they were going for like pilgrims. Yeah, that's what they said. They were so Craig goes Look at the cultural appropriation happening right now. I mean

What are we just like begging for pilgrims to cancel us? I mean, what the fuck? Oh, suddenly he's so enlightened. Suddenly someone on this cat is enlightened. The best like what I'm putting in light and not asking where the only black cast member is. But it's the is the offending the pilgrims that's a problem here. Listen, this is 2022. No one is defending the pilgrims.

Sir pilgrims are not monolith. So Craig is like, we're gonna get, you're gonna get canceled. Do not post those photos. And we're just a layers because they're being filmed for Bravo. You guys shouldn't post those photos. You'll be canceled. What? By like the babushka League of America. The pilgrims are going to cancel you guys. The planet rock society. So then I'd like to say I'd like to go on record as saying this is May unfair. Okay.

May unfair. So like cracker and idiot, like what? Oh fucking moron. So they're like, what is he even talking about? He's like, oh my God, how can they help Naomi be so stupid? How could she flaunt her privilege for non-billionaire privilege right now? So Naomi's like, um, she's not upset about that. He's upset about something else, but blame me on the film. Which is by the way, a really funny concept. So, Shep is like, gosh, I thought it was Handmaid's Tale.

So, which is actually like another out that they had. It was just how Handmaid's Tale. Which by the, I don't know. I was gonna start fapping. All right, carry on. So, then inside Lava, Chef's like, whoa, what's going on? And she's like, he's upset about hanker chips.

He's like, I think I have to do with settlers. They're glorifying colonialism right now with those napkins on your head. She's like, my ears were cold. So then, Katie is like, what was that? And maybe he's like, pages mad at me or hates me. I don't even know what's going on, but like, why?

This is terrible. I mean, I guess I should have expected this, but I need to nip it in the bud. Okay, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna pull somebody aside. I just, there was a live audience there that'd go, no, don't do it. Don't do it.

So Naomi is like hey page Do you want to talk oh my god squash face wants me to talk this is so vile okay? I mean, I don't know what we have to talk about but yeah sure. I would love to I would love to also note everyone She is wearing beige. She is wearing beige Okay, Betty, but he want to talk about and cr my crazy ex-girlfriend was having a conversation with my girlfriend? Oh my god Like Craig calm down. The left of us don't say crazy ex-girlfriend needs to go never stop She's I mean, it's a little severe Craig and he's like don't get involved in my shit, okay?

Just switch guy who just tried to police her napkin wearing. She's so, he tells us, yeah, she's already pulled me aside and now she's pulling aside my girlfriend. X girlfriend from years ago, don't try to make drama with the current girlfriend. You fucked her like three weeks ago. Yeah, okay. Yeah, please. Okay. Yeah, seriously. So Naomi's like,

Okay, so I noticed you weren't eating my squash casserole, which honestly comes from France, which is pretty cool. And you see someone who'd be into that. So I think something's wrong. I hate France, so. Okay, I know you're lying, because you're dressed like a French person right now.

So anyway, as a real French person, I want to talk to you because clearly there's a disconnect if you're feeling uncomfortable and stuff. And then Paige just squins at her in Sips, like she gives her so proper look, like she's on Summer House. And Naomi's just like, uh, she's just watching her big faces, like, uh, okay. And Paige finally has to talk. So she's like, okay, look, like when I first meet people, I like them because like I really don't know enough about them to use against them yet.

So like why not? But then when you come up to Craig at Patricia's and then you pull them aside and you say, you're not gonna come around anymore if it makes them uncomfortable, that insinuates that there's feelings there. Which it does not insinuate that at all. So it doesn't. If anything, it insinuates that there's feelings there. Which it does not insinuate that at all. So that's it.

If anything, it insinuates that Craig has feelings, by the way. So Naomi's like, that's not how I meant that. She's, well, do you feel that when Craig is around, that he treats you differently because I'm there? She goes, yeah. Also, that also insinuates that you have some sort of relationship.

Oh my God, okay, Perry Mason. You're really getting down to the bottom literally nothing right now. She keeps thinking she's getting all these clues figured out Oh, well that also insinuates You have relationship when she named me just laughs and she just know there's no relationship I mean, I feel like you're sort of coming at me just I'm not coming at you. You asked to speak with me I didn't ask to speak with you So she goes yeah, I did I did pull you. You asked to speak with me. I didn't ask to speak with you. So she goes, yeah, I did. I did pull you aside just. Yeah. And look, if I was coming after you, you would definitely know it. You would definitely know it. I would say that I don't

like casserole or bourbon. And your cat is fat. Whoa, you've been talking to my mom. Yes, I have actually. Chonky's not even a word. Stop trying to push Chonky. Chunky's not even a word stop trying to push chunky So Naomi so I was like so she asked this do you still have feelings for crack? And I was like no no like not at all I have to say because this was so this seems so good So Naomi just makes his face at her like yikes. I mean she looks like she's watching a child have a tent A tent for a minute chillies like she's just looking at her like what is wrong with this girl and they just pauses and squints more and does like the lip thing. And she's like, okay, I'll call it out. Do you

have feelings for Craig still? And she's like, um, how do I say fuck no? He's disgusting and a an old Michael Cora's leather bag left out in the rain. I can't wait to see that with that one. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous.

I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous.

I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. like, no, doesn't really look like that at all. Just because, well, to her, to Paige does, because Craig keeps saying, she totally likes me. She's always following around. So of course, Paige is gonna see that, you know?

Yeah, so Naomi tells us, this is pointless. Like, I get that Paige thinks that Craig is this, like, shiny, perfect guy, but I mean, so then Paige is like, Paige sees what's happening here, right? Because Naomi's not reacting how she wants She wants Naomi to have this big reaction and they can have this big fight and Paige can make this big scene And then she could you know do the whole summer house thing and Naomi is just looking at her like she's a fucking idiot And I also have to give credit while I'm standing up for Naomi. Naomi is not falling into the trap because I think what

She's expected to do is be like, Craig, Craig's a fucking loser. He lied about going to law school for five years. I supported him while he sat around the house doing fucking nothing, but pushing my cat around in a wheelbarrow and trying to learn, you know, hurting his fingers on a cheap ass sewing machine. He got it Walmart. The guy did fucking nothing for you. I know I don't want fucking Greg. Meanwhile, he's dating you and fucking me in Vegas. Why would I want that? To lose her back. But instead, she doesn't. She doesn't say anything bad about Craig. She doesn't tattle till on Craig and try to make, you know, show what a asshole he's being by lying to Page's

face. She just like kind of sits there and lets Page do her thing. So Page knows she hasn't won this one. Yeah. And she's like, um, you know, I don't know you very well, except for the fact that you're obviously crazy. And I can say that when I met you, I liked you because I didn't know you'd make Squash Castle for tonight, so I thought you were cool. And I can say that like, I've dealt with girls my whole life and they flip. I'm like, well, if girls are always flipping in their life, maybe it's not the girls. Maybe it's, maybe it's Paige. I think this is like kind of, this kind of the essence of what has been bugging me about page is that she acts like she's this girl's girl, but it's only girls that she has considered like worthy of her click. Every other girl she fucks over and she treats like shit, you know.

So it bugs me. It's like you're not a girls girl when you say, yeah, girl suck. Girl's girl's with girls my whole life and they flip and she's like, and like, you guys dated four years ago? Okay, this is where she starts turning it around for you. So now I'm gonna switch again because now I'm gonna love Paige by the end of this. So she's like, I mean, you guys dated four years ago and so you have a pass and I know know you hooked up this summer, and I know there was a pass there. So it's not crazy for me to think that you still have feelings for Craig. And like, what happened at Patricia's was me thinking that. And Naomi just is like, uh, okay, yeah, so she goes, so you sing it, well, I won't come around

the group if it makes you uncomfortable. Like, what did you mean by that? And she's like well I met if there's a group event and you're there I get was really more for you I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. She's like oh oh well you should have just come up to me I mean I thought I thought you were cool and if you thought I was uncomfortable that is news to me I mean so if you had actually come up to me and said that I would have like fucking got it and like me. So if you had actually come up to me and said that, I would have like fucking got it. And like, look, you are like my boyfriend's ex. We're never going to be best friends, but I want to be with you in settings like this preferably with that squash casserole and be like, where did you get those pants? Like, it's not my personal to hold grudges, okay? It's like, so let's like, be cool. And I like, I think you're pretty. And like, I think

you're funny. And I want to bar your clothes. And like, let's do it. Let's like be friends. Cool. Yeah, it's like, okay, they and I want to borrow your clothes and like, let's do it. Let's like be friends. Cool. Yeah, it's like, okay, they're okay. They're all better. All better. Every page became reasonable. I get like the the veil was lifted.

The page that we always loved is back. Yeah. She's like, look, like we're not going to be best friends, but I want to say like, I love your pants, which you get that. So, that's so paid. And also it just reminded me by the end that she is bit, you know, she's been lied to by fucking Craig, right?

She thinks Naomi's this horrible monster and Naomi's not doing anything and Naomi's whole attitude during this fight killed me just sitting there going, uh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, and Naomi's like, well, yeah. Uh, okay. Yeah. And name is like, well, I think you're such a badass. And Pigeon, thanks. You have great tastes in people. Not

in cancer rolls, though. Yeah. So I'm very thankful that that works out. I'm thankful to that was so pissed watching it. And then by the end, I was like, Oh, okay, love you about. But page was being mean. Like even even if she had been fed information by Craig, she was being really mean. Like, that was so rude of her to say that about the casserole. It was so rude. I wish she's childish, you know, but she's Paige.

Like, now she's still young. Yeah, but I was glad it worked out. And what a lovely ending to a friends giving episode except for Vida. Yeah, I know. Anyway, well, thanks everyone for being here. ending to a friends giving episode of the Diva. I know. Anyway, well, thanks everyone for being here again. We're off on Monday. So we'll have all our new content on Tuesday.

Also, the bonus episode this week, which will be going up later today is going to be the recap of the part one of the real house was a Dubai reunion. So you can catch that on patreon patreon.com slash watch rock rapins. So we'll catch you after the long weekend. Thanks for being here and we'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye y'all. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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