Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharm: Zero Fox Given

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

Eliza Limehouse hosts a fox hunt for the gang to attend, which leads to a much-hyped conversation between Kathryn and Ashely. Plus, Shep is still mad at Austen, and Craig wants to talk about islands. We cover it all on this week's "Southern Charm" recap. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins Poppins I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real House where there's a kitchen island at Sikartune on YouTube. I would love it if you guys all went and checked it out and subscribed.

Just go to YouTube and enter it in search terms and you'll find it. So go please watch it. And then after you're done watching it, be sure to go listen to Rose Pricks, the Bachelors podcast, which is co-hosted by my co-host. Whoa, can't believe you cheat on me with another podcast for all these years. Whoa, it's Ronnie Karen. What's going on Ronnie? It's Ronnie Karen. What's going on Ronnie? Well, hello, man. How are you doing on this fine fine Thursday? Good It's like our Friday, so I'm ready to Really do nothing down on the couch in life. Yes, literally do nothing watch some perfect strangers and some family ties T. J. F. reference You guys we are we are just delighted Because we are gonna be talking about Southern charm today. It's actually the second to last episode.

I had no idea of the season. So we're going to recap Southern Charm before we do that. You know, you guys know the drill, but in case you haven't heard, we have all sorts of fun stuff available to you guys. First of all, we have a bonus episode this week that I personally am very proud of. We recapped an episode of House Hunters. So if you want to know what an hour's worth of content is for a 22-minute show, go listen to that. It's patreon.com slash watch where it happens. Patreon is also where we have crappings on demand, where you can watch us podcasts, not just listen, including this podcast,

where Ronnie and I are almost wearing matching shirts. and I know this because I'm looking at them right now over Skype also We have the discord server and I'm gonna be going on there later today to probably around 2 p.m Pacific or so to go chat on there for an hour so come join me for a little internet chat, you know He asked questions about About watch or crap and so bravo or who knows what love island. I don't care. I'm down We have merchandise if you go to crappens emerge calm or watch or crap and Zer bravo or who knows what love island I don't care I'm down um we have merchandise if you go to crap and zerch.com or watch or crap and zerch.com uh there's all sorts of fun merchandise like and there's free shipping it's for three more days to August 11th on orders of forty five dollars and more

who does not love free shipping okay so we've got like demoted to friend of season one Camille, honey all sorts of great stuff and more. That's at crappensmarch.com. And did we mention that we're going back on tour in September and then it's gonna be a big fall tour and we want every single one of you to join us, okay? Here are the cities. Get out your pencil and paper.

If you hear your city, that means you have to immediately pause this podcast and buy a ticket. Sorry, those are the rules. Okay, here we go. Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Carbureau, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indian apolis, Chicago, New York, St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Seattle. The Charlotte show, by the way, is part of a comedy festival, so not only not only get to see us But lots of famous and very funny comedians. We have a huge theater. We want to sell it out and press All the famous people So watchrocraftens.com for really every single thing I just talked about and I think that's about it right Ronnie?

Wow. Wow. That was great. That was so good. Garsh. Great job. Of course. Okay, so when should we bring up this ship shit on Southern terms? You want to wait till later in the episode? No. Originally, I was going to say that there was this one part in the episode would be really good

to bring it up in. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but I think let's just talk about it now. Let's just talk about it now because it's the wrong unbathed elephant in the room. Yes, literally the elephant in the room. Yes, literally the elephant of the okay guys So this has been a week of ranting, you know, Beverly real housewives of Orange County came back yesterday and

That's all a bunch of hateful Ryan shit that we got to bitch about so good and then Then the chef stuff happened over the weekend, which is also just So bad so chef, so I'm just warning you, if you don't want to hear me ranting about this shit and Ben, this is just fast forward about three minutes, okay, because we're about to go in. It's so fun, you guys. Let's rant together. So chef went on his Instagram live. He was in New York in the village and his not live stories. And it I have double on tauntress garish. She was camera side, but she left. And it's a video of a lady with huge

bags of cans, you know, that she's collecting because, you know, you know, what poor people do if they collect cans because they don't have money. Yeah. That's why they're doing it. Yeah. Fucking asshole. So he's taking a video of her and she's going no no I'm hiding her head. And he's like, oh look at all your cans. Nice cans. Nice cans you know because it's a nice cans and I love double entendres and you hear someone else go, yeah, cans of city. Who said that? I missed that part. Austin fucking Austin who's getting away, Scott free on everything.

No one's giving Austin, mini shit. It's been sent to his camera and it's Austin's face who's saying that. So fuck you too, Austin. So then that's bad enough, but Chef's such a child that if someone had said that's so offensive, dude, what the fuck are you thinking? And he's like, well, I'm drunk and I'm an idiot and took it down. That would be still bad, but it would at least be something. Some, you know?

Yeah. So when people started complaining, there's actually even a people magazine article about it. Let's kind of do people, okay? That's bad. So someone said, oh, come on, Chef. Not cool. Not funny. She clearly doesn't want to be filmed.

And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. Huh. Fuck that. You're in the East Village with 4900 cans. I'll exploit you like my life depended on it. Please don't DM me again with your fake sympathy. So then he tweets, I can't see the top of this tweet because it was a screenshot. You know, I guess I just need to go to intensive. Oh, someone said Andy, are you gonna put up with this? And he's like, I don't see the top of this tweet because it was a screenshot. Uh, you know, I guess I just need to go to intensive. Oh, someone said Andy, are you gonna put up with this? And he's like, I don't like when I'm being called to the principal's office. That's hilarious. Um, I need something, something, then intensive therapy.

Hot yoga followed by a public vlogging in the town square. Then I'll move to Siberia and live in a new glue for four months. At this point, I think I'll be cleansed of your disapproval. Craig is probably so confused by that tweet. There were probably like five or six different concepts in there that he was like, what? Oh yeah, the whole tweet was, oh my god, I offended you. Okay, here's the plan. Sensitivity training five times a week, Gars. Oh god, this fucking guy. So then someone said, I'm honestly asking, what about that Streck U is funny? Doesn't matter, you follow me.

You can easily get out of the situation. It's not a binding contract. I'm not responsible for your happiness. If I miss the mark, just keep scrolling. Mm. You're a fucking asshole. You've never worked a day in your life, and now you're sitting here making fun of.

Don't take it, like read the room ship, like even in like even if everything that ship ultimately says is true because he says okay context he's like you know in retrospect probably wasn't a good idea but context is everything and we were actually joking around before then So even if that were true even if he and this lady had been joking and it was like actually like oddly enough a well-intentioned Thing Shouldn't you be leading with that when people say this was so cruel Shouldn't you be saying no no no no no we were joking it was it was not like that at all like that's my first Incy not to be like fuck you., gosh, guess I got to take.

Gorsh intensity training now. Like that's not what my reaction would be. I think I don't know how chew what he said is in terms of like that they were getting along or even if like his perception. It's very possible that he thought they were joking along and this lady was like, get this fucking ass out of my face, right?

But dude, it was an obnoxious video at least in the contact that we all saw it in and you know at lead lead with some contrition don't double down and make a lot of people who are pointing out how in sense people are actually maybe even doing you a favor to say hey dude this isn't really cool you should take that that down. So like, you know, maybe, maybe like chillax bra Bra, yeah, that's a very nice way of putting it. Fuck you. That's how I say it. Fuck you. That also works That also works privileged fuck my god. This is what people are talking about the streets. Yeah, you know, look

Yeah, and you know what like what is everyone talking about these privileged the page Rear there it is there it is I listen I love a point. He needs an example. I love upon as much as anyone else Okay, if I wanted to do a pond about like hey nice cans I would have just Like recorded the cans. I don't think I would record the poor lady who was gathering the cans who would then had her Hand over her face going, no, no, no. It's just, it's like, where does he, where does he, where does he get off, you know, even if it was a joke, you know, like you were broadcasting this woman to like several thousand people and you're following. It's not a kind of... And you're a friend. Fuck you. And I don't like coming on here, social justice, you're following it. It's not a kind of... You're a friend. Fuck you.

And I don't like coming on here, social justice thingy every day. Not social justice thingy. A little snowflake or whatever. And you know what, there's a lot of times you just need to say, fuck you in life. And this is one of them. Go fuck yourself.

Also, also... Get a job. A, A, I'm, we're not social justice thing. Second of all, I don't think like when people, like this term social justice warrior or whatever has been used to sort of like kind of like nerf very, very like valid feelings that people have. And I don't think it's actually like,

I'm not gonna buy into, I'm not gonna apologize for moments of that of like, oh well, I don't wanna be a social justice warrior. No, it's like, no, I'm not gonna feel embarrassed about like that I feel sort of way, that I'm like, oh well I don't want to be a social justice warrior. No it's like, no I'm not gonna feel embarrassed about like that I feel sort of way that I feel like some people should be more courteous to other people. You know, and I don't think that's like asking too much. You know what, that's where I stand, okay?

And you can, I don't care if you call me a snowflake because guess what, everyone is sensitive, okay? It's not just me and Ronnie and other people like us, okay? Y'all are snowflakes. I'm out of snowflake. Y'allall are snowflakes. I have a snowflake. Y'all are snowflakes. I have a tell you, I've got a question. When there's a snow storm, is it just one type of snowflake?

No. Huh. Yeah. Use my trigger word, Ronnie. You should never have said snowflake because that gets me going. I love that term. I think it's funny.

Because it reminds me of an old bag that in my grandma's house that said, you're special just like everyone else. Well, the thing is when people call people snowflakes, it's usually that they are reacting with their own sensitivity. You're such a snowflake. Well, you're the one who's reacting right now. Yeah, you're the one who's upset. So anyway, all of that aside, let's get back to the real

snowflake. Actually, Jacobs. Chatsy. Chatsy. Chatsy. Ch snowflake. I see Jacobs. Chatsay! Chatsay! So speaking of Chatsay, so the episode opens up. You know what's funny? We just saw a bunch of signs and stuff that said things like,

joined all-in and fresh, fresh, and I was like, oh, it's a Chelsea scene. I already know. I see like barely any electricity and a lot of like dirt and country roads. So she's with her dad and this lunch with her dad is I think like everyone's lunch with their dad in 2019. The waitress comes over and he's like, hi thanks there sweetie. I'm like, oh, you know, it's like that. Just that lunch you have with your dad yeah like dad don't say that you know later he's like oh you can do it I'm like dad dad stop putting out of the other movies you love your dad you're like oh gee he's dad so he's like hi there sweetie and she's like we love some host bumping fishbots. And of course you will.

How do you stay that, that, then it's frustrating. I was wondering that myself. I was like, how, like, that's not fair that she has that. Yeah, it's not fair, Chelsea. Also, like, that's clearly going to be her food blog. Fishbots and hushbuppies, by Chelsea. So they start talking about a boyfriend, Nick. And she's like, well, he's good,

cause I finished well on the rise. Yeah. I was like, yeah, they get to travel like that and be on the water all the time and like get to pretend I've been in relationships with girls in Charleston. It's such a life. Yeah, and he's like, well, that's a crazy way

to make a living, honey. She's like, I'm on a reality show. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. a crazy way to make a living honey. She's like, I'm on a reality show. We're being filmed right now. OK. Well, I hope that George Glass has a very successful race. And where is he in Corsica or something like that? Why is no one calling Chelsea on this bullshit? Like, this is ridiculous.

That she's dating this sailor off the coast of Corsica. And like, no one seems. Where is Cameron? This is like that she's dating this sailor off the coast of Corsica. And like no one seems... Where is Cameron? This is like prime Cameron territory. You know, like I'm expecting Cameron to sit her down. I think it happened already this season, but like, you know, Cameron's tenacious. I'm like, Chelsea. Okay, when are we gonna really talk about this Nick?

He's not real is he? Is he a stuffed animal? He is, isn't he? He is. Why do we get to meet Mr. Salafine? They've probably met him in real life for something. So, no, that she's not full of it. But, isn't he a race car driver?

Is he a boat? No, he's on a sailing team. And they're on some perpetual race around the island, of course, like some ridiculous thing like that. It's like he's on a three year race He's basically like doing the Odyssey or something. I don't know. Wow Wow sports just when you think they can't come up with the new stuff actually sailing like the things pretty What's this game tennis?

What's this crazy new game called tennis? What's this game tennis what's this crazy new game called tennis So they're talking the dad's hinting like really I mean this guy come on and she's like come on That's an awesome way. What are you talking about to travel all the time beyond the water? That's awesome and the dad's just like Gives him my song Lisa Vanderpump awkward sip mm-hmm And Chelsea is like, I know Dan has a problem with it, but you love who you love.

Even if he might not even exist and it's on a boat at a different continent, and different hemisphere, and might not ever come back. You love he love. Mm-hmm. My girlfriend in Canada. Yeah, exactly.

I believe her though, because I think he's too hot to lie about. My girlfriend in Canada. Yeah, exactly. I believe her though, because I think he's too hot to lie about. Well, do you know other girls are on his Instagram? Like, are you bella-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed- And I believe that there is a thing but I also believe that Chelsea sounds like the sort of person who She's one of these people that's like why do I own the phone love people who live far far away? I'm like because you know that they're unattainable So therefore you lower your walls and allow yourself to love someone totally You know there's nothing more annoying in a relationship than a person who's actually here, okay? annoying in a relationship in a person who's actually here, okay?

I'm down. I'm going to make a long distance dating app, okay? Where you can only date people who are long distance. I love your pic, love your new picture. It's called Big Old Never Meets Coffee. It's like you guys acknowledge that you want to, like, you, you just like meet from afar, but you've never actually met in person. Yeah. like you just like meet from afar but you never actually meet in person. Yeah. So let's see here. So they start talking about Madison because Chelsea's like,

well, you know, I was thinking about this with Madison. She's been doing hair like forever. But the more I think about it, the more it don't make sense. Like we're different. You know, and if we had a disagreement, I mean, she's very intense. Yeah, I'm like, also you have no business experience. But I feel like, you know, she makes a good point. They do have different personalities and that does make for, you know,

that is tricky when you're going to business, but it makes for great sitcom. So I don't know, I'm turning in on NBC's, this, this, these Thursdays, I don't know what I'm saying I'm also a great reality show. You're like I'm gonna give away the best plot that's happened to me since I've been on this show I mean watching YouTube fight in a baby salon. I know saved next season. I know where where a carcy Werner when we need when we need them You know like the two of them like oh a little bit country and I'm a little bit country too that was my line now it's mine now this Thursday on NBC yeah she's like well she's gonna treat me the same way she treated all same thing but well yeah maybe

if you like cheat on her with two people at the same time or whatever he did you know yeah exactly if you fuck her over I don't know well Ronnie not everyone is as lucky as me to have a Rondle as his business partner. Oh, I have my little bandal. Oh. Ronnie gave some people a committee, by the way, just to y'all know. Oh, I guess I'm Madison, eh?

Listen, who knows? That could have possibly happened, okay? I haven't let the most innocent life, so. Well, maybe gave him clams at the very least. I will always give you a cigarette. Yes. I will always guarantee that to any partner. Well, isn't clams lying for dollars also?

Like I gave him five clams because I haven't got a lot of them. Like old time, you know. You know, the thing is this, Ronnie, you, you, like, I'm like a spinning top and you just spun me up with the ships up At the top of the show and now I'm just like bouncing ricocheting off every wall right now So you just have to you just have to go with it. Okay, just go with it We're just gonna stay in this weird Chelsea scene for Because it's our Friday and when it's the end of the week, you're like, ah fuck it, we can do whatever we want.

It's true. Hey, you get down from there. I'm just going to yell at people. Commercials, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. So now we go over to Catherine's apartment where she's putting out her China which is also like her only plates and so Danny comes over. And and by the way, you know what, I love this arc up from this season, you know, like as we're approaching the end of the season, they're tying up loose ends. And this is a really important arc

for me because it started in one place and now it seems to be ending in another, which is early in the season when they went to Catherine's house, people would knock, they'd be like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And now Danny came in and was like, I was like, wow, they really resolved that. It was a good act. It was a good act, too, because last week, member when Madison came over, she's like, oh my God, this knock is so old-fashioned. It's terrifying.

It's like, boom, boom. But now they like, they've, they've, leave it to Danny. Danny Danny is like if there's one skill that I have it's knocking quietly and gently It's like her menthols are knocking So I love that she just menthol ashamed her. I I just think that's hilarious. I know it's like just your cigarettes. It's your mempals, you know, Danny made it through about what about six seasons or so with that really No blemish it and I was like boom, come here and menthols. Yep. So Catherine in love. She's like I'm in love, he writes music I'm just gonna tell you all about it

Um, friends took us out and I was the only one without a date So they invited this famous guy named Hunter Oh my god, and he's like, great This is so funny here Apparently everyone does that I had Climidia one time So glad you're happy. Glad you're fucking happy. Glad you're happy.

Meanwhile, Catherine is also, you know, Catherine has had ongoing challenges with contouring for several seasons. You know, sometimes she nails it, sometimes she's aggressive. She was looking a little bit like the trailer for cats. I'm not gonna lie. I'm trying to learn for cats. I'm not gonna lie.

I was like expecting her to like start singing Mr. Mustafa for something, you know. Oh God, please don't, you know that fucking song. It sticks, now that you said it, it's gonna stick. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in. Oh, Mr. A, that's not. Adadadad, Mr. Irm, soft, foley. I'm out, I'm out.

I'm so out. Irmerees. I'm out, I'm um, um, um. Oh, um. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um I'm done with cats. I feel like probably my fault. I feel like we actually mention cats a little bit more often on this podcast than we should. And considering that I only know two songs from that show, it's a problem. Well, here's another, here's another awkward point to make to everybody that I only know two songs from that show, it's a problem. I need to know more songs. Here's another awkward point to make to everybody

that I'm really mad about. Stop dissing the movie of Cats. I was just supposed to look like that's what they look like on Broadway. It's called Being True to the Original. No, these cats alone. No, it's not because of that. It's because it's oddly CGI.

So when there's that weird shot of Jennifer Hudson towards the end, and she's like her head's tilted. And like the CGI, basically, like if you're watching crap and it's on demand, there's this function on Skype where it allows you to blur out everything around us. So it looks sort of cool, but at the same time, it sort of like chops into us a little bit. And that's kind of like what the CGI was doing to Jennifer Holiday.

I'm Jennifer Hudson. Oh god, for a bit, I mixed the CGI was doing to Jennifer holiday. I'm Jennifer. Oh God for a bit. I mixed those two up. And Jennifer Hudson and she just looks all like odd and chopped up in CGI and creepy. And people alone. Okay. So anyway, Danny some love. And I mean, Captain, Jennifer holiday.

By the way, we have a photo. Yes. Jennifer holiday. So captain some love. And she met this guy named Hunter who we met in Charleston. He's a really cute super adorable guy, really nice guy. They were really cute together. And she's like, he's silly, he's funny, he was wearing camel snosh and a shirt. Just what I would think that a country singer would wear.

He was wearing shoes and socks and yeah a shirt on and a restaurant just where I would think of a guy baseball caps. But you know what was funny is that she was such as like I went on a girl a trip to Nashville with my friends and we see a photo of her on this like girls trip and it's like, she has some like friends, perfectly lovely girls, like, you know, their hair's done and like sort of sat up. And then right in the middle. She just had this big hair that was like 60s mod bombshell whatever. I was like this is why she's queen Catherine because you just never know

When out of nowhere, she's like by the way, I'm just like gonna destroy everyone with my look today Yeah, so she's like let's go outside and eat. I got a sludge. It's duck conflict I'm like isn't that your last boyfriend? duck It's duck conflict. I'm like isn't that your last boyfriend? Duck conflict sounds like someone who'd be an Eliza lime-ass his family. Oh, this is my cousin duck conflict Jack splooge duck buddy. My cousin duck. My cousin duck Danny's like comfy You're really glad you're happy you can't even say come feet. That's I'm so happy for you

So Anyway, you're the rampant rumors of me having chlamydia around and I thought it we could address them maybe a little bit Okay, we don't have to So she's like well actually I talked to Madison and I'm just letting you Okay, we don't have to. So she's like, well, actually, I talked to Madison, and I'm just letting you know that I do think she's genuinely sorry. And Danny's like, oh, great. So with Chef, and I still had Climidia. So that's what sorry's get you. Okay. Yeah. She's like, I believe that she's sorry, but I choose not to surround myself with people like that. I'm like, have you seen all your friends? Yeah. You just made a lead on a show because you do support all of that.

You literally, you're literally do. You literally do. So, yeah, so Catherine feels like she connects with Madison because they're both young moms, etc. And ultimately, Danny says the right thing, which is that she's basically like, I'm actually the most put up by Austin because he's willing to start all this bullshit. So I'm like, thank you. Thank you for recalibrating your rage because that's where it should be.

Yeah. And Catherine's like, ill, I just got a text from Eliza. Hey, yo, we're finally getting around to having a fox hunt. She's just like, please, Danny and scooter and scotly and chip and and and Clyde mother Aunt Pelican both who were the master's of the race and

She goes and just like I'm sorry I lost myself because I was looking around aimlessly She goes who would like to ride and who would like to tally ho And she goes I swear she Googles classic Southern activities And I'm gonna Google tally ho because I cannot believe she just said that I cannot believe she just said that thing that I don't know what it means Danny's like it means hang out. Okay, you just follow it's like oh, I'm typing back on fit like it means hang out okay you just follow it's like oh I'm typing back on fit so so now we go over to the meeting street in which is where Eliza I guess

pretends to work at this like crummy crummy in I mean I don't know maybe it's not crummy but that lobby certainly looks very crummy like it's like what's I'm really bad in from TV that we've seen before I wanted to say a new heart But I actually felt like that was a charming end, right? This is like if new if it's like if they film new heart now with the same set Yeah, it would be all like dilapidated and exactly like the like it was exactly This is 2019 They just took it over that's a real ending of New Heart the chip lime house came in

To get over and did nothing with it so Yeah, so Eliza sitting at the front desk with her cousin Morgan and Ashley walks in and she's like You look so keep behind that counter counter Well, I was just like Morgan just give her a death stare like you are not welcome at the meeting street in And she goes this is my cousin Morgan. Yeah Morgan's just like

Wait, Todd tell duck about this bitch. I'm actually like hey you higher in you higher in you higher in that was so good you are. You are so mannequin crazy she is crazy. One of the best parts about being a nurse is that you get a good sense of humor because you get to laugh with a lot of people you know right before they die. Oh my. So Alliance is like, yeah, I feel kind of irritated with her and kind of betrayed. Like I gave her this platform where she could come apologize. And then we get a clip of Ashley just being awful, you know,

and then it comes back to Alliance that going, and this is how the apology went. Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. B the apology went. That's still she listens because you know the producers totally set her up get used to it. Yeah. So they so they sit down on that radiasc couch that's probably from like ducks for turnity and Ash and they start talking about the clay pigeon day and Ash is like I have to thank you for facilitating that whole day because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had that opportunity.

I'm like, it was not a job interview, okay, relax. She invited you to go play pigeon shooting and you acted like a jackass. Yeah. And because of that opportunity that you've facilitated, jump tea, me and Naomi had a chance to talk. I mean, briefly, briefly, it was brief, it was brief, but we talked, we talked. We talked, we talked, we talked, we talked, we talked, we talked. I know, she's, you know, Naomi, she's just like a straight shooter, just like a real, real straight shooter.

Like, that's what I love about her. Yeah, yeah, she was a straight shooter. So like, you know, when she said, no, I shouldn't talk to Catherine. I was like, that's great. I'm so glad I have a chance to talk to Catherine. No. Yeah, I'm so glad she facilitated that, that opportunity was facilitated.

Yeah, and so Ashley makes it sound like, yeah, there's a little crack there. She gave me a way in. Like, you were, we see a flashback in Naomi, literally saying, no, don't, don't talk to her, don't talk to her. She's like, so you're saying there's a chance.

Yeah, she's like, well, I want another chance. And so Liza's reading the Bible from her iPhone as one does these days. And then she's like, it says in the Bible, Peter got forgiven seven times. So that means she's got six more Bible music, playing. And she reads the whole quote. And I'm just like, Oh, God, I'm glad you didn't pull that out in front of Ashley because her skin's would have started to burn off. Oh yeah.

Yeah. It would have been a really disgusting scene. Yeah, she just starts loveitating and barfing out green soup. So now we go over to some random bar where Craig is meeting up with Austin. And Craig, like Austin's already sitting at this table and Craig walks up in just like a standard blue polo sort of thing that maybe it was like a golf polo or something like that and Austin goes nice shirt nice

shirt like it's a it's a blue polo has the whale on it so who's who's that been your vines? I wasn't sure was going to be your vines. I'm going to say maybe this from the market roast. Collection. Elephant logo. Sir. Okay, let's see what this is. Elephant, I thought it was the whale. Oh, whale. Sorry. I have been

your vines in the room. Whale. Whale logo. Sir, vineyard vines. What was that? I don't know what, vine. I advise. What was that? I don't know what that is. I tried to eat this shirt, but it turns out it's vine. Your vines, not red vines. So Craig is hilarious because he thinks he has a business partner now because this guy

said he'll look into district. I guess that's what he is now, right? He got a pillow business partner. So now he's doing everything in business turns. He's bringing back mayor hands in a way. He's not doing this as mayor hands. He's doing it on the table where he just like, he gets his hands like this, like kind of claw.

He's like piano. You're trying to take glad, like if you're, if you're doing the Muppet Caper and you're trying to take, you cut a circle in the glass and then you're trying to pull the glass away But you know what I mean? So fingers are like that and he's pulling the glass away, but he's doing it on the table and he's like playing a fugue Didn't know he's your way to free the thing, but I like your version. I like that. It's uh Muppet Caper pulling the glass circle to get to the baseball diamond, but on the table Yeah, so he's talking like that because he's like business business envelope envelope

His version is more like paper clip paper clip And I word and I word we're making moves well Basically, I just moved the box of slim gyms but it's a move Which I still don't know how they got here. Does anyone see I said anyone see my luggage. Oh wait, I'm holding it So Austin tells him that he saw shop and Of course says that with a few little words, but his mouth says like a page worth the stuff, you know? Yeah.

He goes, Craig goes, did he say you can't be with Madison anymore? Or did he say that it was a total betrayal of his trust? Nostan goes, he said both. And Craig just says, like, wow, he can't process. That chef could have said both those concepts. He's like whoa Wow Well, here's what's happened business hands on the

Here's what's happened in the key of G Thank you, you're a geek. Set minor, minor. That's a fugue. Shep is basically giving you an ultimatum. He's like, yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, Craig. He's like, okay, like, look, here's how I look at it. In pile A of my hands out, stretch, beating the table.

I don't think you should be friends with there because I don't think it's healthy. But my other hand now is stretched on the table so I'm opposite side of the field. And he's mad at her so he thinks you're choosing her side over being friends. And then he comes together in the table. I was like, what are you even doing? Stop. I can't stop watching your hands and they're telling a very different story than your words. He's like, your hands and they're telling a very different story than your words. He's like, I think that Danny should be mad at Madison because Madison had no right to bring it, bring Danny into it. And I think Shep should be mad at you because you had no right to tell Madison secrets.

And I think I should be mad at Cameron because she's pretty. And then Camels should be mad at cactuses because they both Get in each other's way in the desert Like cats are mad at dogs because dogs chase them, but dogs are mad at cats because cats get to poop inside But like snails are mad at greenery because they eat them in the rain, but rains mad at snails because they like to crawl in the It's like what Apple I'd be mad at oranges because Orange is you smell really nice, but oranges should be mad at apples because there's no there's no orange pie just apple pie and Austin's just cracking up

He's like what that why would I come to talk to Craig of all people you know? Yeah, so he's like so who should I be mad at no one you do smack you were the one who had like a threesome? They got caught on camera. You should be majesty jobs. I guess yeah, no shit You should be mad at the iPhone camera. you should be mad at the advancement of technology Yeah, and I guess he could be I guess Craig is right at the end of the day He could be mad at Madison for giving away private info, but he probably shouldn't have been giving that private I don't know I'm trying to get a Craig Take it away. Well Craig just goes wow You've really picked a spider web to be in and then you just like sort of like looks at awesome like

That was a pretty cool metaphor Sorry, I'm not home right now. I'm walking through the what's the rest of it? Slim gyms And I So And I So Austin's like, you know, like it's much as I hate to admit like she told me like I can't like fully be myself with her in a relationship because like I'm afraid of what my friends are gonna say and it's kind of true like I felt that I felt that spitting I felt that office sprit this guy I can't bring her to a party cuz Shepherd Craig are gonna look at me like I'm an idiot and Craig's like Yeah

And then Austin of course the ultimate victim is like how's my relationships supposed to survive when Shepherd Craig keep telling me Keep telling me what to do now me ran for the hills and ship has never even had a relationship Well, I'll give you the same proposition Keep telling me what to do Naomi ran for the hills and ship has never even had a relationship well I'll give you the same proposition Or prop yeah, I gave to Naomi the day that I left Which was totally my decision to end that relationship yeah because I walked out If the world ends tomorrow like if shit hits the fan with like Russia or fucking meteors

coming or like, you, you, you, you maim your pinky trying to stab a wall. And there's like an island and you can take one person and like live forever on it. Like who would you take? I'm like Craig, what? Just say if there was a desert island, who would you want to be on there? You don't have to like paint the entire scenario of the Death Island. And don't act like this is like some like amazing concept that you thought of. He's like, well, I came up with this idea, and I thought about it when I left know me.

It's like, no, like the Death Island scenario is a fairly standard theoretical situation. Craig! If you could have a dinner party, it's like I told Naomi. If you could have a dinner party, you can buy three. Okay, it's like I told Naomi, fuck Mary or kill. It's like I told Naomi if you had to go to a party and you're running late and see order an Uber and then when you're in the Uber, they drive you to a place. And it's like not the right place, but you get out anyway. And it turns out at the place where you're in the Uber they drive you to a place and it's like

not the right place but you get out anyway and it turns out at the place where you're at it's actually like a hidden lair and there are people in there and you discover that they are like they've got nukes and then they just blow up the world right after that but you have just enough time to get to the to an island and you learn that you actually have actually bonus miles you can fly to someone else. It's like, Craig, just say Desert Island. It's like I told Nomi, you know, if you find a cave underground, that no other kids have found,

and then you guys go down there and get stuck having an adventure, who are you gonna do it with? It's like Craig, that's Goonie. It's like, it's like I told Nomi, if you are just like walking around and you're just like it's you and your Wepp and you're just like walking into a cave and then you see like a treasure and you just happen Have a bag of sand and you put it on the where the treasure was and then a giant bolter comes after you like where you're gonna run to Craig That's Raiders of the Lost Ark

but still but still so By the way Craig totally is gonna look look at the arc let's be honest what's that oh my face and still look hot after he'll be like only person to get his face burnt off that's still like totally hot when it's all said in that I hate snakes so here's the thing how was this your how is this how you left know me You decided that you didn't want to be on that island alone with know me like how does this connect back? You know you can't just put shit out there. I was up all my worrying about this Also, you know that Craig's desert island is probably super cheesy and like it's like Jimmy Buffett's he probably's bringing Jimmy Buffett

Let's be honest making margaritas So Austin's like oh, we choose Madison that too and Craig's like oh Goodness hold on. I'm in business now. Let me rub my beard like this. He like strokes his beard Let me play my invisible piano to see if this helps so you want to bring Madison on to an island So you want to bring Madison onto an island. The Madison is a street in New York, which is already on an island. I can't, this is too hard. So let's go to Cameron giving someone shit

at a dinner scene, because that's Cameron's favorite thing to do is go eat while she gives someone shit about being a loser. Yeah, so Cameron's at a restaurant and Shep shows up. He's like, oh, she'll tell it all Charles to no tell where we stayed, which where was it? It was up top of our hotel. Oh, I didn't notice that. Oh, wow. And just a Charleston for two days and feels like he owns it. I know one of two restaurants they go to on this episode that we went to. Right? Yeah.

Yeah, you guys just have to wait to see what the other one is. Yeah, guys, we made the whole tour of Charleston. Okay, we know everybody. We went everywhere. Yeah, we went to every single Ross Wrong, and every single Banana Republic, okay? So Cameron's was shapping, he's like, gosh, sorry I'm late.

There was a wreck on the bridge, which probably meant that like, I don't know, there was like a homeless person collecting cans, they had to stop and take pictures. Oh, grown. There we go. There we go. What happens? This is what happens. This is a grown. Or maybe it was just a homeless person, John, who's just confused. He was like, what's that, a poor person? Yeah. Oh, so he's like, yeah, I'm trying to be more domestic with my sweater. Oh, well, guess what?

I got a report back on due diligence on the land. And she's like, mm-hmm. I am. What is this? So I told you so report say. What does this say? Well, it's going to be challenging because I built on a marsh. challenging because I built on a marsh Of course Mars

So he orders a ginger ale and cameras like you're not gonna get a drink. You're not gonna get a drink Oh, you're so good. I am so proud of you for trying to make a baby step which on we know You're gonna fall off the wagon in life. Three two one. Oh look. You're already drinking a beer look at that That was so adorable Yeah, are you just not drinking a beer look at that that was so adorable Yeah, are you just not mixing because you look fucking wasted? Yeah, so he's uh, which you know I say that like so rudely like that's my favorite state to be and I'm like how dare you It's projecting this podcast really is about projecting Yeah Um, so she's cracking up that it's been three days and he's like, oh, I told you, I told you I'm just trying. So she's like, did you talk to Austin?

He's like, I did. And they can both ride off into the sunset as far as unconcerned. Well, that's what they're planning to do. So that works out. Yeah. I don't know. He's grumbling about someone's happy ending. Yeah, exactly. And the camera basically thinks that Madison has something over Austin, right? Because after that whole big fight, they spent the night in a hotel when they went back from Colorado, whatever. And she's like, I think that she has something over Austin. Maybe he's a sexual deviant.

He's like, I know he is. I have so, I've got so much information and I don't use it. You know, he's like all proud of himself, which I don't, I don't feel like, I don't even feel like there's any information on Austin. Like what, I feel like Austin's information is that sometimes he likes using margarine or something like that. Like, he likes Ritz crackers. Like what salacious information could there be about Austin?

I know after you know somebody who cheesed with their mouth wide open and spits all of their food into your face, not that much is gross about them. You know what I mean? Like it has to be pretty bad. Of course, step does that too. So it's like a food, food fight, spinning food fight. So he's like, yeah, I know he's a deviant. I've got so much dirt. It's ungarse believable. And she's like, what is it? What is it? He's like, no, I won't fight Climedia with fire I will not do it

And then moments after that he then says okay fine on Valentine's Day He spelled butt stuff in Rose petals on the bed and she said okay She cameras like Like that's your example of being a deviant and also by the way you've now lost your entire like moral high ground over this bullshit So now you can't be mad at us anymore. Thanks. Bye They're like butt stuff anal ooh what a deviant I actually think the thing that's the the grossest part about that is that he wrote butt stuff and rose petals on valentine Yeah, fuck you. Yeah exactly exactly. And that's exactly why, you know, I'm really liking Madison

on the show so far, but that's why I just can't ever root for you. Like you're with this person. Rose. Yeah, it's like watching Miss Piggy, and I'm not saying she is Miss Piggy, I'm just saying, since Austin's already Fuzzy Bear and Miss Piggy is like the female lead of the Muppets, it's like watching Miss Piggy go for Fuzzy and it's like, no, you should be with Kermit, you know?

Mm-hmm. I don't know Kermit eats like worms and stuff and flies, but. But he's also like- Probably with his mouth open. But Kermit is lovely. And she deserves to be with a Kermit and not with a Fuzzy, okay? And I like Fuzzy in general.

It actually pains me that awesome looks so much like Fuzzy Bear. But you just have to lip with it. Yeah, I'm so to see, you know, it's harder on. My metaphors are all mixed up right now and I'm struggling, okay. Yeah. So captain's like called Danny Baird. He's like calling Danny is beard. Garsello. Um, she's picking hair out of things. Yeah, she's picking hair out of Gars hello She's picking hair out of things Yeah, she's picking hair out of Craig's beard. Yeah, his business beard that he's growing. Yeah

So yeah, she's like I am just picking Lucy's hair out of everything what is life? And she's like um like odd text from Ashley today. Um, um, um. Yeah. And you know Danny's thinking, Oh, did you? Well, how would you feel if I told you? I got a text from her and I'm going to go hang out with her and have lunch with her until you not to be offended by it.

Wouldn't that feel good? Okay, I'm still supporting you over here. So that the text said, Hey Catherine, I just wanted to shoot you a text that I've been invited to the Fox Hunt. I wanted to come have a fun time. So that the text said, And she says, I have no mental strength for this mental person. I like that. So Austin goes to the church restaurant. And that's the other place that we went to. We went to another restaurant. We went there with Amanda and Elaine. And by the way, it was Amanda's birthday yesterday. So happy birthday Amanda. Happy birthday Amanda.

Yeah. Yeah, that restaurant is gorgeous. What's the text that's written all over the ceiling? On the entire full text of the Art of War by Sengtao, right? Seng-seng-seng-sou. Seng-sou, I'm like Sengtao. Like that? Oh, yeah.

I'm a shelf back there, look at you knowing the art of war Yeah, the entire art of war is written on the ceiling of that restaurant And we had a lovely time yet a lovely meal there I remember Our waiter was kind of a dick back. He was a warm tap after what he wanted Yeah, well, he kept a call him attitude back. He kept on calling Amanda dear. He's like what would you like dear and we're like? He kept on calling a man to deer. He's like, what would you like deer? And we're like, um, little, little, little much. Sir.

Yeah. So, um, Austin goes to the church place or so. This is a date with Madison. Yeah. And Austin ordering wine cracks me up because he can't commit to it enough to just fake that he knows anything about wine. So he says, we're going to get a bottle of wine. Oh, nappa valley, please don't make fun of me. The guy's like, no, that makes sense. Fun to me. You will get it. Yeah, so Madison sits down. She's wearing this like bombshell red dress,

because she knows she's like, oh, I am going to make him want me back right now. Like she comes to play. So he's like, is it, is it, is it hot in here? My ears, my ears are burning. It's just like, it's so hot in here. I'm like, maybe you should take off your formal anorac pullover that you're always wearing. Like, gosh, get a blazer. And she goes, maybe it's just me. And he just doesn't get it. Just kind of looks around.

Like, oh, there's no chemistry. Why are we not seeing any chemistry here? I know. I just feel like Madison can do better. I'm sorry. She really can. Yeah. So she, basically, he tries to be upset.

He's like, so, I mean, so, you know, like, you know, here's what I want to say. Like, uh, I, she's like, now you're just spitting at me. I would say spitting out, but I've already got dots all over my silk trash. She's like, hold on one second. She pulls out her like, made of the mist. Ponce, she got from going to Niagara Falls. Hold on I got this when I was a kid. I came prepared. All right. I know her.

Speak your mind. Her wedding dress is gonna have one of those SeaWorld plastic cases. Whatever for when she'll move passes. So she's like, well I don't, you're talking about ship. I presume. I don't want to say I'm 100% sorry for saying that about him, but I am sorry for telling on you because that's not what I meant to do. Yeah. And he's like, oh, just that it's this is the second time.

It's like this insane. It's like the second time that I've been totally hurt by information. I've told you and then you've told other people like I can't believe that you hurt me by repeating this stuff that I shouldn't have repeated in the first place After I cheated on you with two girls in your bed. I can't believe it. It's insane. I've been hurt Yeah, and then he tells us a story again like how she came to him and was like, okay Listen, I'm ready to walls down this relationship be vulnerable and go on a journey and And I'm ready to walls down this relationship be vulnerable and go on a journey and

It freaked him out and so he went and have a threesome, I guess basically he wasn't ready to be a dad He's trying to sabotage and boy. I mean talk about sabotaging. He like really went right for it I mean like two girls in her bed Which of course meant like To the video here we go Like, do the video. Here we go. You're the same person. You're the same. You're the same person right now.

You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. You're the same person right now. you. I want to be with you. I want to make this work. Okay, so What does that mean because that's really all you say every time? It means that he probably got rejected when he tried to go back to Victoria and she's like I made a soup for you So Austin's like I love you And she says I love you and he goes do you she goes And he just like goes and grabs her head and kisses her.

I'm like, I don't think that she actually answered your question, by the way. I think maybe there's a, I am going to like, leave open the possibility that she was just being sarcastic. OK. We'll see you together. I love her because she looks at you with dead eyes. He's like, I love you.

And she's like, I'm just staring at him. I'm like, they, and he's like, oh, yeah, I she's like, D. Just staring at him like, D. And he's like, oh yeah, I should like, ow. And then they kiss and he's like, hey, hey, can everyone quiet down? Can everyone quiet down?

I want to tell this girl, I want to make it work. You're gross. You're not in a romcom, okay? You're in a vomcom, get out of here. Vomcom. So he's like, let's get another bottle of wine. Do you work tomorrow? And she's like, I may have some stuff. Jason Kai's He's like, oh wow awesome. I think I'll have the pinot and what the Zinn the Uh

Map of alley. It's like, yep, still a wine, sir. Still a wine. We'll get another one. So let's go over to the Fox. Oh my god. And we were at the Fox Hans at the Mount Erie Lodge. And we see Eliza with Don and her aunts. Her aunts, Melinda and Nina, they barely say anything. And they are already the scariest women on Bravo.

Like, I am terrified of them. They truly are. Right. They truly are. the scariest women on Bravo. Like I am terrified of them. I am truly in awe. Right. They truly are. Something about that is so scary. Like scary in every way that someone can be scary. Scary and like that you feel like they will destroy you. And also they may have magical powers. I don't know, but I was like terrified.

I was like, I should have a movie. I should have a movie. Yeah. They seem like a horror movie I just watched with this like Kevin of witches in the ballet school. That's what they remind me of there They all seem like these really nice ladies I can't even watch the baby box on yeah, so So but either way they like I actually like them because you know

I love a scary woman but I was like these women are terrifying He is women are terrifying right now. Yeah, well they started this true They started this fox hunt club, you know, so they're like the fuck's masters. Yeah, they're called and So that that enough it's like oh my aunt. What does your aunt do? Oh my aunt's a baby photographer. What is your aunt? Do she started the Innocent Sniper of Animals in a forest. I really felt like I felt like Nina and Melinda were recruiting for their Secret Society. You know like Chelsea was gonna be the next recruit and it was gonna be like taken in under Nina and Melinda's wings and be given some strange thing to drink and make some strange, oh, at a candlelight ceremony in the tables or something.

They're like madlists in here, honey, you can be here, but we'll need blood from the man you love. Well, you're gonna have to give a few years because rotten air stands around the world. Tell them to grow out, get out. Oh no, we have them here. He's like tied up on the back of a horse. Is that why you haven't been responding to me? So, yeah.

Eliza's all dressed in her black jacket because she's not a master, she's a rider. Did you write down all the names? I don't really care. I didn't, I only wrote down Tally Hoewars provide alcohol and refreshments. I don't know where he came didn't I only wrote down Tally Hoer's Provide Alcohol and Refreshments. I don't know where. I was like for what it's worth. I don't think everyone should know that Tally Hoer's Provide Alcohol and Refreshments. Yeah. So at mean as like, do you need your stock?

I'm like, what does that mean what is it? All right, Liza I'm just gonna tie this up and you shall not say a word do I repeat you shall not say a word about the society Yeah, I do not forget I'm the master of how So then a lot is like well, this is down Hey, pretend he's not from New Jersey, but he is. And I was like, oh, hey, dude, neighbor. And he's going killed by the sacrificial lamb. Yeah. The sacrificial Jersey lamb.

They're like, wait a minute. So Alias is like, I grew up riding a rock fence on the plantation. You know, then she says something like, I was tall at home. I don't know what that meant, but I had to write it down anyway. I couldn't understand what she was saying. I don't know. Every time she talked about the Foxhunts, I just sort of like did not pay attention.

Because there was a lot of like, you can't just like know how to ride a horse. You have to really know how to ride a horse. Like, you have to hold on for your life when you're on a foxhunt. When you're on a foxhunt, this thing happens. When you're on a foxhunt, you're chasing foxes. thing happens We're in a fox on your chasing fox is it really intense? That's okay. I grew up doing fox. That's like shut up lies in no one cares. No one cares I've seen down now. Yeah, no how works, okay? So

Let's see here. So a license like oh, yeah, a lot guys into it. Oh god Okay, I'll skip that so show chef. I actually wrote it down I actually kept pressing pause and rewinding to write it down So now actually think I understand a box. I do you do so now a chef We see chef driving in his big old Buick and little Craig is in the passenger seat like curled up Which is really cute and he picks up another than Bailey We haven't seen it in a little bit and Bailey looks excellent I was and I was oddly really happy and excited to see her.

I was like, you know what? I'm ready for Bailey right now. Like, for some reason it feels right. You feel like Bailey's ready to stir some shit? They're just, it just felt like we need Bailey at this moment. I don't know what it was. It was that just that feeling I had inside me. Well, I don't know.

I was like, oh, that girl. I don't, I don't know. She painted something. And you know how I know that? Because they showed a clip't know. I was like, oh, that girl. I don't know. She painted something. And you know how I know that? Cause they show the clip of it. I was like, who does? Who does girl? So um, ships like, oh,

gosh, I don't feel good. I'm tired. Cause I fell off the wagon this week. Didn't you, weren't you just on the wagon last night with Cameron? Yeah. Cameron gives you so much shit. You just have to leave there and drink. It's like, oh, what about that hash you're gonna build? And what are you gonna tell me and how are you gonna ruin Austin's eyes? What are you gonna do?

Then then just leaves to our perfect life, you know. I get drunk too. Yeah, so people are starting to arrive and there's like a lot of awkwardness between Austin and Shep and Austin's like, Shep is like a stranger to me right now. He's like a stranger to the scene. I just wish you were a girl so I could take her into Madison's bed right now. God, it's insane. And Naomi and Chelsea arrive and they're dressed just like Eliza because they're going to do this.

They're going gonna be the follower The hold on Fox no, I'm gonna say it. I already followers. Yeah The huntsman no, they're gonna be huntsman Right, oh shit already well, I even wrote notes and I still don't know anything else Well, there was like the there was like the main guy Who's like the master of hounds I then didn't see other people who were like red and then the followers. Yeah, something like that. I don't know. Okay, so they're gonna they're like gonna do this. And um, meanwhile, everyone's complaining about the port wine because it sucks. It's like cough

syrup. And then you see Craig and Sean arrive and you just hear Craig I don't see a bar He's like Bailey gives Craig like a little little glass of port and he's like what is this and Bailey's like some We want sweet one thing. I don't know and Craig just like drinks it and he's like It's like a cack getting screwed in the face with a water gun. Awww. Is that robots, Hassan? Cause you know, I hate drinking things made by robots.

Awww. Well, Motesson, I was like, clean the floor like you're supposed to. This stupid thing keeps getting stuck on the carpet. Oh, Craig. Craig, that's a frisbee. It's not a frisbee. It's a frisbee. It's not a frisbee. Wow, the rumble work. So you're going to be shocked by this. Catherine is extremely late. Okay, so Catherine's really late.

And Danny's like, well, I guess we're just going to be late. Hope you see your new friend and your friends. I have no problem with. So Danny is driving them and she has one of those reverse beeper things in her car. It's like beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. Oh my god shut up car. Hush, hush car, hush car, hush you beep beep thing and catch your ghost. It sounds like Ashley when she tries to speak By the way how many how many dense and like like tangled up bicycles do you think that Danny has hanging off her rear bumper? Because she's like oh that thing it just always beeps so annoying it won't go off I'm like it's good. There's something behind your car It's ever me being for a reason. I know she just has like wheel chair.

There's missing signs. Plants. I think there's probably missing signs all over the neighborhood. Like lost cat, you know, lost child. And damn, he's running in my locker. My lawn flamingo. That must be the car. Every time I go in reverse, it's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Oh my God, you don't have your seat belt on. Oh my God. It's like everything you do. Good job, man.

Ding, ding, ding, ding. Don't have your seat belt on. Blip, blip, blip, blip. Go backwards. Pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee. Whatever happened to my old shoes. I just get in a fucking car. Yeah, whatever happened to metal cars.

But you just get in, you put some earth killing, bladed gasoline in there. And you can just drive peacefully and drunk. I just love that your version of a car is like semi-court men semi like I don't know like like oh my god. There is a car behind you. It's like camera in the ship. Ship. Ship. Ship. There's a car behind you. Ship. Because they don't work right right? You know, they go, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, like the most it is basically like my mom. It's like I will be like yesterday I was parked at Starbucks and I was like trying to reverse out. I put it in reverse and I went like all of one inch and I was like, beep beep beep beep beep. And I was like there was no one around me and there was like a car

that had entered the parking lot like 20 feet away but I could like see it because it's like oh we have modern technology we can see everything now and so now it's like going nuts And it's like this is my mom be like Ben don't move. There's another car somewhere nearby Yeah, I can't take it car shut up so Ashley arrives and the music gets really sad for some reason, which is really funny So she's the hell of everybody's now on this big like wagon right where they're gonna follow the horses or whatever so everyone's having fun but they see Ashley and they're like oh Jesus Christ.

Hi everyone. Hi. Hey Chica. Hey Chica. Hello Chica. I'm like please stop saying Chica. Okay. So yeah. Chica, hello Chica. I'm like, please stop saying Chica, okay.

So, yeah. She says, this is think stable. I'm like, that's what everybody is asking right now. Yeah. That's also what she asked of that one. She's looking for houses. Is this a stable? So then Ashley is like, so she's sitting with a group and they all means like, this bitch doesn't listen.

LeBai! And someone goes, would you like a beverage? Ashley and she goes, does it appear shit in the woods? Tassie. Hi. I really don't know. I'm actually severely undereducated on nature. So yeah, Siffon. Oh, you asked about drinks?

I was just asking that in general, just a question. Yeah, okay. So then Chelsea and Naomi are on their horses with the Liza and they're like, yeah, this is cold. So not doing this. We're gonna do this, but it's freezing. So bye. La bye bitch. Yeah. Yeah, they're basically, la bye. They basically are like, everyone's having more fun on the hay ride. So let's go there and yeah, and by the way Naomi I mean Chelsea was cold so awesome better not warmer up because we saw the amount of trouble He got into last year when he tried to do that. Yeah, so So then Eliza explains what's going on. And she's like, this is just a drag because you put a sand and then the dogs follow this

hankerchief or whatever. Because if you use a real fox and they'll try and kill the real fox, I want to protect the foxes. Hmm. Sure. Sure. You're on TV and you don't want to get in trouble with groups. So it's definitely a way to save your ass because people have been having a fit about this

all season. Ever since they showed this on the preview. Yeah. Oh, well, see how about that a foxless fox hunt. There you go. So it happens all the time apparently. What a wine. Whoa. Yeah. Exactly. So then Ramona singer, the spokeswoman for foxless fox. So a fox hunting. She's right here, okay? Whoa, are you like Disney? Are you hunting for a Fox? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Corporate mergers, okay?

So, um, so they released the hounds and she said, Whoa, gosh, look at all those dogs, man. Whoa! She's like, shut up. Shep, you're annoying me today. I don't want to hear about you and dogs. Yeah, and Craig's like, so the dogs track and then the horses track the dogs.

This is literally comical. What's Craig talking about? Craig hates this. He thinks that's the dumbest thing in the world. Yeah, says the guy who's like, has like a million unfinished pillows in his attic Tells he's like oh that looks on it, which we run only and he goes they're chasing a fake fox He's so mad. He's like suddenly turning into Darry over there. So So basically they they go on this little expedition and the dogs just like okay we're done.

They just stop. Yeah the dogs lose the scent and the lives is like that was fine. I guess it's over now so those are the rules. It's like great day alive. And you know what would make this better on a nice cold day and outdoor lunch. Let's do that. Yeah seriously. Do you, is it a... I have a question.

Since you've been boning up in your fox hunting. Um, since it's a drag or whatever, they're following a fake scent. Do they, like, do they put something somewhere that the house is supposed to eventually get like a stuffed animal? Like not stuffed animal, but like something that they bite into and they, like, bring back. It's like planted there. No, I don't know, because they were following that scarf with his scent.

So maybe when they actually get to the end, they just give him a treat. I don't know. I think they should have just put some Ashley's perfume on there. Personally. Oh, this is just a time of travel. I'll try to a rock. Yes.

JD, you're like, this is a smell of gentry bourbon and desperation. Yeah, Jen, find the bottle of Gentry bourbon. Yeah. Just hear it through the forest. Woooow! Woooow! Oh, don'ts!

So, uh, Senna, they had back to camp, and Craig puts on like a schmata. He has like a little thing around his head, and she's like, he really looks homeless like not the weak chef not the weak I'm really yeah I didn't hear him say that good I think that's what he said maybe oh good so Ashley and uh wait who arrives Catherine and Danny arrive and um they're waiting for everybody which now the hunts over but they're waiting and uh Danny's like the Hunts over, but they're waiting. And Danny's like, your iPads are so long I could hang moss from them and Captain's like, yeah, I have two bears layered.

And I didn't really get a good look at them until later, but her eyelashes are hilarious. They're like out to hear. They are like very intense. Also, she has some like very like another like just like boom look. She's wearing like a little red hat like a like it's a wide brimmed but like low and flat hat. And then it's like black thing that's sort of like it almost was like it was like a front pioneer woman thing. A coat with like almost bordello.

I don't know fashion very well, so I can't describe it. But it was like black and then these red shoes. And then her hair was in braids. It just looked amazing and crazy in the best way. I thought it was very Stevie Nicks and she told them, well, I'm really going for Beyonce formation. They're cracking up and Ashley sees her. And of course, Dumb Dumb Ashleyumb Ashley her mic is on but she just

assumes it's not on so she's walking with her friends that she brought and she's like are you kidding me? Pippi Pippi long-stucking Pippi Pippi I mean my god look out Pippi's here look at everybody Pippi's here We have a lot of that in here. So then, Shep is like, gosh, I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse, kidding, kidding. Gosh. Nimalinda and Nina are like singling to each other. He shall die first. Yeah. So Austin and Craig are talking, and it's just so cute because Craig has that thing on his head.

He's like an old Russian lady in my neighborhood. Pobola. Yeah, and Austin's like, so what am I supposed to do with shit? Matt, this is my giving me a shot. I'm like, I told her I'd love her and Craig's like, uh, what did she say? And he's like, oh, I didn't think about that part.

She cried though and she did not cry. And she said, I love you. I wasn't on camera. No, she said I love you. Oh, she cried though and she did not cry. And she said, I love you. Mm. I wasn't on camera. No, she said I love you. Oh, she did. She did. She did. But it's more like I didn't write it in my notes. So it didn't happen. So good. Feel it. I didn't feel it. Feel it. She did not feel it. Yeah. Um, she's so Craig's basically like, wow. Okay. Here's how I see it. Playing a big chord on my organ. Blah, blah, blah. You.

Okay. Captain, it's like, is Greg playing a fug over there? You'll count her into you! Why is organ music playing? Okay. If Madison does something to hurt you, I'm gonna be done with both of you for probably about 30 minutes. And then I'll probably talk to you again.

I'll talk to you. Have you ever heard of the concept of a desert island? If you were sent to the moon because Russia attacked us, who would you take with you? So they were an island on the moon Would you hang out on the moon part of the moon or the island part of the moon? So chef is Just trying to be chef charming chef. He's like look what German sepper. Hi German shepherd. I'm an American sepper How did he get on TV?

Why is he on our television? You know, a ship I've bass-late with him. It's so annoying because there's some seasons where I just really like ship and I feel like, yeah, he's spoiled and he's privileged, but I actually feel like he's a smart person. And then there's some seasons where I'm just like, why, why, man, why do you always fall for the ship, Charm? This do you always fall for the ship charm? This is what happens because you defend ship and then an episode like this happens and an Instagram moment

like that happens and then you're suddenly the guy who defended the guy and making the joke stupid joke about American shepherds. That's why you never think well of anybody, okay? Just have a negative attitude about everybody. Yeah. Season one, I said that's a future date rapist, okay? As well as this entire cast.

So, you know, I feel psychic I'm like a negative psychic, okay, I can only come up with negative things. I'll take that. I'll take that I will too. It feels good. It feels good to be right that people are generally terrible human beings. Yeah Yeah, it's like one hug. I like it. Thanks So yeah, they're all eating and Chelsea sees Aunt Nina. She's like, I'll find out the Fox because of course need us wearing like a big Fox. Yeah, like for jacket. Yeah. And she's like, oh yeah, this girl was a Fox.

So it's like, okay, get away from me please. Yeah, and by the way, so Antenina has this like giant shock of like bright red orange hair and everything. And then Catherine's like, um, that's me in 50 years. Redheads, they don't get gray. I'm like, I'm not sure that's, I'm not sure that was a totally natural redhead there,

but we'll let you have that one, Katherine. So then a licensed honor, changing, and say, I'm having a mini panic attack, mini panic attack because of Katherine and Ashley. Oh my God, what did I do? So then we go over to Cameron and Katherine, talking to him, Cameron's like, okay, Katherine, let's roleplay okay I'll

be Ashley and you be chef trying to build a house on Mars your So as you walks up to her and it's like, uh, Catherine, um, uh, wondering if I can have a conversation with you. Naomi said that you'd be totally open to it. And he was like, I did not say that. I understand. I understand if you don't want to talk to me at all. You know, that's okay too. I was thinking like, you know, uh, you know, just, uh, you know,

maybe we could talk, you know, I mean, there's a little bench over there. Maybe we could talk over there. Maybe we could talk over there Maybe we could talk over there. Catherine's like, oh Jesus Christ. Get it over with. Yeah, and Craig is like, um, I'm just gonna go make sure they don't get physical. I'm just gonna dig a hole in the ground and if it gets physical, all three of us will just burrow in there until the morning. Yeah, he walks over with a butter knife So she's like thank you so much for being approachable. Thank you so much Catherine Thank you so much for being approachable Catherine because I should have approached you a long time ago because what I said to you

That was none of my fucking business. I mean that will think like if you're a deadbeat mom That's that's your business if you're a drug addict. Yeah, that's your business to be a drug addict who am I? You know who am I? Who am I to say that? You know, who am I to burden you with my truth? Right? Who am I? Yeah.

And Catherine's like, um, when do you think you realize that? She's like, well, I know I went home to California, but I went home to California because my family wouldn't speak to me for a little while because, you know, they really had a trouble, they really had trouble with what I was saying, you know, because they were saying, listen, do you just walk up to drug addicts in the street and say, you're a drug addict? No, you know? You see a lot of close to what's going on. But now being a nurse who saves lives and, you know, is so important in the medical community,

I've realized it's important to have compassion even with people who are just total trash and you don't deserve to be called trash so I won't do that not here not now but you know I do think it but that's not of that's not for you to know that's all I'm saying. Yeah you know I wasn't trying to break you up your relationship I mean if anything I was very supportive of you and she does that thing with her arms like Like multi-level marketing where she's like and this is when that that pale changed my life like both of her arms are pulsing up at the sky And she's like if anything I was your biggest fan I was your biggest man Catherine yeah, and by the way and When she said that my TV spontaneously turned off.

My TV was like, no, it's the thing that my TV's been doing lately. And it always does it at the best moment. It's like, I was your biggest fan. I said, no, Samsung, the Samsung corporation has decided we are no longer supporting this. Yeah, Samsung out. Yeah. It was so Catherine. It's like, but you literally said the opposite to me. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad.

I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad.

I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad.

I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I would you know, bye Capri and Chal-T She's like, um, you're trying to be nice to me right now. She goes, listen, listen, we're probably never ever gonna see each other after this, you know When I show up for filming under a TV show that I'm not even on but We're never gonna see each other again. Countdown Yeah, but you know what though? I do owe you an apology for being honest about what a big piece of trash you are. I owe you an apology for that honesty. She just want peace and Catherine goes yeah just yeah peace she goes yeah you know peace.

Yeah and so she actually won't stop repeating it until she says something back to Catherine's like yeah Well, I just want to feel like safe and normal and she's like safe and normal How could you not feel safe? There's Craig in the bushes making sure we don't get into a fight. Oh, no, they heard me There's an old Russian lady over there with a butter knife So Ash is like I I'm deeply sorry, Chica. I'm sorry for hurting you. And I wish I could take it back. Just as I wish I could take it back the last time I said I could take it, wish I could take it back and then didn't and the time before that when I said I wish I could take it

back. You know what I mean? Who was I? Who was I? Who was I? Catherine's like, okay, so she just gets up. She's like, just thank you. An honest, virtuous nurse who fell in love with a man whose heart had been mangled by his previous girlfriend.

Who was I? Yeah, she's the worst. So Catherine just walks away. She's like, okay, appreciate that. Yeah, wish you the best, too. Okay, Catherine just walks away. She's like, okay, appreciate that. Yeah, wish you the best, too. Okay, love and prayers, or prayers and thoughts, or whatever. And so she walks away and everyone's at the table with cheering. They're like, oh yeah!

Like it's already over. And so Catherine just goes up to the girls and goes, it was bullshit. Yeah. So then Ashley goes to her girlfriend and she's like, I mean, it's like, I tried, but like, she just can't get there. You know, she just can't. I mean, who am I? Who am I?

Yeah. Okay. We just, it's like we speak different languages. Like, you know, I speak the language of a compassionate, nurse human, and she's just the language of an egg donor. It just were different languages. So, um, Chef and Austin are talking, and little Craig is about to jump in the pool. And Chef's like, that little monster would,

it would suck if I had to jump in after him. And Austin comes up to the bar to try and like start some conversation, but Chef won't even look at him and just walks away. Yeah, there's like a really awkward moment, because Chef, by the way, chef does say that he would jump in after a little crack. He's like, I wouldn't want to do it, but I would, I would, I'm like, no one,

this does not substitute for having a kind heart. So then- I wear a wacky speedo under my dockers just in case the opportunity arises. Yeah, so Austin and Chef like encounter each other at the bar and because Shep is like trying to order some sort of like Woodford Reserve thing and then Austin comes up and I think I'll have one of those two. I think I'll have a Woodford Reserve and Shep is so annoyed. He is his mouth just like fully puckers up this grimace like he like wants to let out

the world's biggest garsh but doesn't also want to give Austin the privilege of receiving a garsh. He's like, molding in my garsh. Yeah. Yeah. And Austin's like, come on. So, Chef follows into it. I Austin follows Chef to a table. And he's like, come on, this is not how we act, Chef.

And Chef's like, it's a nuclear winter. Which is the second time you said that this episode. By the way, yeah, he's just saving that one up or whatever. And Austin goes, what does that even mean? And he goes, okay, maybe it wasn't a good way to say, it sounded really good in my head. Okay. What it means is that Vietnam war. What does that mean? It means that if if one superpower blows up the world with a nuclear bomb and the other one doesn't other nuclear bomb It's a nuclear wind it went winter But there's this island that you can go to Craig no stay out of the nuclear winter conversation

So Austin's like well, I just wanted you to know that Madison and I decided to hit the reset button So and she's like It's like after all the things that have happened you're staying the course and he's like well, I just kept on thinking about it man I guess I'm thinking about her, you know, and if it blows up my face, then you know what? That's my fault and goes yeah I will be your fault all right cuz of road signs are less than or in back Signs signs everywhere their, fucking up the scenery, garsh! And he's like, well, you know I'm just not that interested in hanging around, and he

tells us, we've been close friends, you know, but I've never broken up with a friend before and I just don't know how this is supposed to go, garsh! Yeah, who am I gonna make fun of homeless people on the street gathering cans with if I don't have Austin oh That brings us how did we do an hour and twenty minutes? I don't even know I don't even know how the things I was saying I feel like I just set a lot of stuff that I think in two years. I'm gonna come back and be like I probably shouldn't have said that on a podcast We made few jokes That was fun

So you guys, it is the end. It is the end. The mailbag will be back next week. And we hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Only one episode of Southern Charm left. Can't believe it. Both Southern Charms actually. Whoa.

So you guys, we will be back on Monday for Southern Charm, New Orleans and Real House of Sepatomic. And don't forget to check out the Boney episode which is all about House Hunters and buy tickets to our shows. Okay, it's super fun. Until then have a great time. Enjoy yourselves.

Be safe. Look out for Foxes and look out for Antenina and Aunt Melinda because they're coming for you. Okay, and that's why she's still out there in the wild. Y'all. Yeah, bye everybody. Okay, and the app. Bye. She's still out there in the wild y'all.

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