Watch What Crappens - SouthernCharmNOLA: My Best Frenemy's Wedding

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

It's the wedding that no one in particular has been excited about: Reagan and Reese! What an exciting day on "Southern Charm: New Orleans." Not only are these two lovebirds tying the shotgun knot, but Justin has finally decided what he wants to do with Kelsey... in about 6 months. Plus, Jeff has a sister! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Mina, Kuchikuchikuchii and Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi I've been watching all the crap in this world. Hello, welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, Cartoon on YouTube. Go check it out. Joining me is the hilarious and wonderful and all around excellent person. Ronnie Karam from The Rose Prick Special Rose Podcast. What is up, Ronnie?

Well, hi, Ben! Ha! Ha! We are here today to talk some Southern charm New Orleans season finale wedding pregnancy gender reveal motorcycle and journey edition. So we're really excited to talk about that. But we're also even more excited about the fact that we are going to Charlotte, North Carolina next month. Woo! It could be great.

It could be part of the Queen City comedy experience. It's a comedy festival and we have a huge theater. The McGillian Theater, I think that's how I think that's how it's said. But it's like a big theater with like like an upper level and stuff. So we want everyone to come and see us there. Okay. So come see us. It's on September 26th in Charlotte, North Carolina. And then we're going to a bajillion other cities. If you hear your city listen up and buy a ticket. We're going to Nashville, Atlanta,

Carbureau, Richmond, Virginia, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, two shows in Chicago. The early show is pretty much sold out but there are tickets available for the second show, but not a lot. So, you know, two shows in Chicago, the early show is pretty much sold out, but the art tickets available for the second show, but not a lot. So, you know, two shows in New York, there's like not a lot tickets left for the late show, the early show is pretty much sold out. St. Louis, Philadelphia, two shows there, the first show is sold out, the second show, we have a second show, and there are tickets, and finally, Seattle, and guess what?

Tomorrow, we're going to announce another city. Okay, it's a city we've never been to. We're very excited. Buy it. Okay, so go to watchacrapans.com to get your tickets. We love seeing you. Don't be afraid to come solo. You'll meet your people, you meet your friends. We have so much fun and of course we also have this amazing merchandise. We have a season one Camille, demoted a friend of honey, things like that. That's also at WatcherCrapins.com or crapinsmerch.com. And we do all sorts of fun stuff with our Patreon page. We have a Discord server. We do crapins on demand. We can watch us podcast, not just listen. We have bonus episodes. That's patreon.com slash watch where it happens, but all links are all listed on our website.

WatcherCrapins.com. So go check that out. Buy some merch, come to our shows, make new friends, make memories that will last forever, and, um, you know, and check out my friends podcast. I have two friends are both TV actors and improvisers are hilarious ladies, Jessica Young from the show For The People, and Dana Powell from Modern Family. They have a new podcast called Rants and Raves and they rant and they rave and they're hilarious. So if you need a new podcast, the Rants and Raves podcast on iTunes wherever you get you. Current podcast, Kai, Telepronix sent you. Oh, and you know what that reminds me. My friend also has a podcast that I guess it on last week called nasty I'm gonna mess it up the name

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Support other podcasters. OK, now today let's support a wedding that no one really supports, but we all support it because we're friends with Reagan, OK? Yes. And I feel like I don't want to come from a Negative place at the start of this podcast, but I do want to say that bravo's track record of Wedding episodes that are totally boring is is it is totally intact

It's like we're still going strong. It's still yet to have a really entertaining wedding episode Yeah, they really tricked us with this one because they made us think that someone was gonna stand up and say something you know like say don't get married don't marry a money and then it turned out you know it was just a guy passing behind a car that saw her in her wedding dress. Don't marry a money. There's the guy in the white car. We should have realized that that's what was being set up the entire season. The white car behind Tamika that goes by.

And by the way, in honor of you, I went back and looked at an episode from like four weeks ago and I totally saw the car. Over and over and over. They're totally making me paranoid over there. Yes, those bastards. Yes, so you were right. Yes, the guy in that white car, he is like a raffle rasser. Yeah, he's back.

So let's start. We're still at the beach in Destin, Florida. Sunny Destin, Florida. Where you and your friends can gather on the beach with our coconuts and some waves and a few Gore-Tex coats to enjoy that tropical frigid air. Yeah, 48 degrees. Yeah. Well, how many outdoor activities can this show do in 48 degrees today? Let's see. No, what does poor cast, why are the producers forced them to have all the cold weather shooting. Why did they shoot this around Mardi Gras?

Doesn't that make more sense? Isn't that what they did last year? Yeah. So, but last year it wasn't freezing, I don't think, was it? I think they shot at it a different time of year. Yeah, I don't know. Either way, I mean, these poor people, they have to have a beach side dinner.

So they have this catered beach side dinner, and they're all just like bundled up because it's 48 degrees, and it's like not a time to be sitting out by the ocean. You know it also is really not a time for sushi. Okay, nobody wants to eat sushi rolls in 48 degrees. It's actually the best environment to have sushi rolls. I'd rather have sushi rolls in 48 degrees than in 97 degrees. Cool, that's true, But do we have to choose between insane degrees to have sushi is best had at like 84 degrees indoors. I just was like chilies closed. Why are they here on the beach?

Why not just like can we rent a back room at the pizza parlor of destined? Yeah, I don't know that Dustin let some shoot anywhere. I think they planned on helping Dustin and Dustin was like, no, we're not going to help you back. You can shoot outside. Destiny is like, listen, first strike, Mike and Donna from House Hunters, second strike, real housewives of Atlanta. We are not. This is it. You guys get this beach area and that's as much as you get to film in our town. Yeah. So we opened with John taking pictures of Justin and Kelsey trying to do really romantic pictures of them on the beach

And he's like so more love show me some passion love passion and then he finally takes a picture and we see it and it's just too shapeless lumps like with no features, you know on the beach because there's no light and it's titled unknown beach couple by John moody So this is basically a totally backlit. So everyone is, and meanwhile, while this is happening, Barry and Tameek are still renewing their vows, so we just see Robin being like, I love you, I love you. Can we go to warms, can we go to warms?

And John Moody at this point, he still has no voice because he was howling so much when they were wearing his turtle necks. So he's talking to Reagan and he's like, oh, how's your brain to see going? He's like croaking out these noises. And she sounded like Shini here because she was like, dad, dad, dad, we're at 12 weeks and he goes, oh, the second weeks and he goes oh the second try master Yeah, the squeal like everything is making squeal now

She's like the baby And so then we get some beautiful John moody John moody self-help you give a a woman groceries, she makes you dinner. You give a woman love, she gives you her heart, she makes you secure. When you give a woman sperm, she makes a human. I'm gonna fuck up. What? And you just suggest, like actually I gave her all three of those things

and she gave me none of those things in return. They're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, he's like, what if you give a woman, uh, sneakers, does then, does she give you gravel pits that you walk through? And he says, well, the point is everything you give a woman she amplifies. So Kelsey just starts yelling. July 1st. you give a woman she amplifies. So Kelsey just starts yelling. July first, July first, July first. You gave me a promise and I'm going to amplify that into an ultimatum. July first,

July first. Yeah. So Jeff, meanwhile, is enjoying some healthy space between him and Reagan. So, uh, that's going nicely. And then, uh, they, uh, they start to eat the food and everything. And John, John just goes, you ever heard the saying confidence killed the cat, which is not the saying at all, by the way, curious. What is the saying? I thought it was.

Curiosity killed the cat. Oh, curiosity killed the cat. I mean, confidence has killed a lot of cats too, okay? That's why they're always getting stuck in fucking trees. You overconfident little bastard. Well, there is a certain confidence that comes with curiosity, I suppose. But yeah, so Justin's like, you just literally make up your own sayings. And John's like, yeah, you're fucking right

So very into me could return and various like I feel like I got married again into me cuz like oh my god Oh my god, it's like a baby. I stopped like a baby. We're new to our fast like now. I was like stopping like a baby Oh my god, I was stopping like I was like this And then he like I saw him coming up into text and I was like and then he like I saw him coming up in the text and I was like ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba I was like yeah I'm like ba ba bottle I want my ba ba ba ba ba ba ba baby

Shrek Regan I don't know if you remember me but I'm supposed to be your best friend so I just want to give you this I just want to give you this I just want to give you it's my flowers it's my flowers because you're getting married next you're getting married next you're getting married next to street because you're getting married next to you and she's like thank you can you put them over there? I was like, no, you take those flowers. So, uh, yeah, so we're all sitting and John is just like bad. Like, there's a beautiful dream. No, I'm not. No, they're not. They're not. To me, because like, is this voice out yet? When is your voice to be officially gone? Yeah, I shout out over there. So then back at the house, John A Showering for Ben.

That's what I wrote in my notes. John takes a shower for Ben. Yeah, I appreciated that. I was like, Aaaaah! So, and then Jeff like screams out the window, he's like, good morning, Justin! And there, you just, it's like that opening scene

of like Sleepy Hollow, we just see people closing their shutters. Just strong, blah, blah. Oh, no kidding, it's like six in the morning, dude. You have like a Viking screaming good morning. And you know he was out there in the middle of the night walking around the neighborhood jumping in trees. Yeah. So they pack up because it's time to go. And um, Tumikah is talking to Barry about how she hasn't really had that conversation with

Reagan, but Reagan's totally fine with it. She's like, um, yeah, that's great. I'm really glad I'm back to normal with my friends, but my wedding still like today. It's my yeah, and to me goes still Talking to talking to Barry, but she's still not gonna stand in the wedding You know because she goes, you know, I'm just still not a hundred percent there and if I were a bride I want every bridesmaid to be just like, in a pure state of joy, you know, I'm like, have you ever been to a wedding? I guarantee 85% of bridesmaids hate the bride.

Okay, they're like, I've spent $3,000. I've had to go to Atlantic City and Vegas because I had to do like, two different batch to red parties and then three wedding showers. And all I have for it is a stupid flower inside a bell jar. that what am I supposed to do with that but I've got to keep it because every time you come over you'll be like oh you still have my bell jar that sounds right yeah every time one of your bridesmaids thinks back on your wedding it's when their phone rings from scam likely and they know it's fucking

capital when calling because you saw them paid off that fucking dress that you made them buy that was too expensive. Yeah, I was like, in what wedding was there ever a hundred percent happiness from the bridesmaids in what wedding? Half the fun of going to wedding is looking at the bridesmaids and trying to figure out who's angry at who and who's angry at the most of the bride. That is the best part. Yeah, you already hate the bride. You'll already be the best bridesmaid. Yeah, if you ever go to a wedding, the key is when the Mature of Honor does a toast, you look at the bridesmaids and look at them, give each other glairs and stuff.

That's the best part. I remember going to a wedding, I went to my friends wedding, and there was all this drama with the bridesmaids that it was the best because they would all give their sides a story to me. I just sat there eating popcorn, and then they're at the wedding, the brides's maid gave this speech and this one girl was just like rolling her eyes. So hard.

She's like, I was like, oh my God, I love this. This is what I live for. Pass progressive eye rolls. Yeah. So next up is Jeff FaceTiming, his half-sister, Marcina. Yeah. And he, let's figure out something for Jeff to do for this episode. Hey,Timing his half-sister, Marcina. Yeah. And he... Let's figure out something for Jeff to do for this episode.

Hey, he has a half-sister, so let's make this suddenly a thing. Yeah, so he hasn't talked to her in forever. But, you know, he's super sad. So he's calling her. And let's still guess, Super Sad story, all of this. Yeah. Basically, she was three when they lived together, but then the dad left them to dad left.

I think the dad died maybe. No, I think he left. He got, I think he left them because he started a new family or something. And then the mom really, his mom, his mom really resented her so she was shipped off to live with her grandma. So this is not making me feel great today guys, thanks.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Keep your real life out of this reality show. I'm trying to enjoy my Sunday night. I know. I'm like, Jeff, you're making it really hard for me to make jokes about your like half ping pong table and cheese plate skills. Like, can we like, we just into a better place. Okay.

Yes. Yeah, whenever you're phone rings after you haven't talked to someone for a really long time, just know that it's never just to see how you are. Okay, it's not like, oh my god, I realized how much I missed you. It's never that. It's like, hey, guess what? Getting a divorce, my wife's pregnant. She's getting remarried to some douchebag. So it's integrity. And I need to shoot content for my reality show. And by the way, I'm on a reality show. You know, I guess to me, it just felt like sloppy story telling that they just like dropped in this half-sister out of nowhere and this final episode and then made this whole big half-sister thing. Like, I know that they were building out that he wants to get back in touch with his family, but I mean, couldn't we have like,

can we have dropped a few like, Marcina seeds along the way? I don't know. I just I'm a proponent of good storytelling, okay? Okay, okay So then we cut back to Jeff and Reagan who are on their city hall errand getting all their paperwork done and I was We're complaining about Marcina because I was like, you know what? Let's go back to Marcina. I don't want to watch this, too But yeah, I know you're like I prefer that. I was like never mind. I'll take sloppy stories. Howling Emberies is like what if they have a problem with my birth certificate because it says I'm a female which is hilarious Well, thank God for progressive politics am I right? Yeah, see it helps, you know straight couples to yeah Exactly straight couples with parents who were too lazy to fix their children's birth certificates.

Or to even notice. Yeah, it's like, get this one away from me. And then we see Kelsey living out her worst metaphor, which is lying in bed, trying to call for her dog. And she's like, you want to come to bed with me? You want to come to bed with me? You haven't told your lie first. Take coming to the bed with me.

I'm too good to wait longer than six months for you to come into this bed with me. It's like fuck now it leaves. Yeah. It goes right through the wall. It's so big. Yeah. Glade Man style. So then over at Barron to Mekas House, there's like an alligator next door.

So they're like excited about it. And fuck this show. I just realized I had a nightmare about an alligator that's why it's because this stupid scene I had a nightmare about sisters that I didn't know coming into my house I had a nightmare about a half-sister that I didn't know wearing a very lovely Pashmina shawl thing. Pasha. She just kept circling my apartment in her white car over and over again.

Just yelling got me and things to me. You're bad, honey. You're bad. I had a dream that my birth certificate said I was a female on it. Where'd that come from? Oh, so then over at Justin's parents house Justin is meeting his friend Who is also his therapist?

That would never work for me. Okay, and I have a friend who's a therapist. He's like sugar if you ever need to talk Matt, you know Matt Marr. Yeah, who also has a great podcast you guys should go listen to Therapist yeah, he's a therapist. He's a licensed therapist, but he's always telling me, Honey, Chikr, do you want to talk about that? I'm a therapist. I'm like, I'm not. Like, no, I'm not.

No, man. Because in one day we're going to be out, you're going to be drunk, and you're going to be like, oh my gosh, your mother think again. Yeah, I actually liked this guy as a therapist. You know, because there are some therapists who I feel like on TV, they just sort of like recite, they're more of like the Ionla vans ant style

where they say things that sound like break through e, but if you really think about it, it doesn't really sound like it's grounded in any sort of like real, like they didn't earn a masters for that insight, you know, like when someone says something like Before you work on your relationship you have to work on yourself It's like oh, yeah, but then you're like that's like really like facile advice, you know So but this guy was like what I liked about him was that he kept you was sort of like challenging

Justin on the things you was saying which is I think it's what a good therapist should do I mean, get the thing. I'm sorry, I'll review for Ben Mandelker. Yeah. And my favorite thing a therapist ever told me was, make your bed every morning. I was like, we're, I'm done.

We're breaking up. Thanks for this first session. We're done. Well, it is amazing what making your bed can do for your day. So, um, brush your teeth. Take a shower. Take a shower every day. He'll got it changes. Yeah. Listen, um, brush your teeth, take a shower, take a shower every day,

you'll, gotta changes ya. Listen, here's what you have to do, okay? Brush your teeth, make your bed, process your mommy issues, have breakfast, it'll all work out. I'm like, are you prescribing me something or... Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. Don't forget to get your tickets to WatcherCrapins in Charlotte on September 26 at WatcherCrapins.com. Yeah, Justin's talking to his therapist about Kelsey. He's like, well, she's finally hit her wall. You know, her timetables moving a lot faster than mine. And you know, I even put myself on the timeline July 1st. I was also imagining that we were gonna see footage of Kelsey physically hitting a wall by accident.

Oh, I knew we should have taken out a lot of this house. I told you I wanted that wall down by July 1st. So he's like, yeah, I just wanna to get over my fear of commitment. And the doctor is like, but what about your vulnerability? It's like, oh, God, here we go. Bachelor time. But you know what was interesting? Well, it's down vulnerability. Jago on the journey, buddy. Go on the journey. But what was interesting was that like the

post-production department, I don't know what they were trying to do with the scene, but they would like add these like random musical moments because it was quiet. They were like making it like this is going to be Justin sharing. So it's like quiet, no music, and Justin's like, because the guy says, well why do you have to be a fixer? Like why do you have to be perfect and Justin's like, well I just have to do and he's like, well, you know, why are you afraid to show your vulnerabilities? And Justin goes, well, I'm just afraid

that people will find out that I'm just average. And then the music starts going, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, and then the doctor goes, what is average, though? And then the music just stops. I was like, wait, why don't we have like a little like jazzy moment? Well, the doctor asks what average means.

Well, listen, even if you are average, you're an average person with your face on bus stops. So that's something, you know, just keep paying for this. So the doctor is like, but what is average? He's like, average. I mean, it's like an assembly line, like the same thing, you know? And so the doctor's like, so your fear is that you're gonna fail, not that she's gonna fail, right? And he's like, okay. He's like, sure.

Sure. And she's like, well, that's not fair to Kelsey. Like, would she not be able to carry her weight in the relationship? And it's like again, like, boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom what what is up with these musical stingers? yeah so yeah I mean Justin basically says that he wants to get married when he feels ready and excited not just because Kelsey feels ready and excited which of course makes sense but like then the question is like well then why don't you

feel excited Justin what is holding don't you feel excited, Justin? What is holding you back from being excited? Justin, nah, Justin, nah. Actually, I feel nervous. Yeah, normally I feel like I would be annoyed with Justin in this situation. But I'm kind of not. I'm more annoyed with Kelsey. Like, obviously, look, he's just not that into you.

Okay, so I need to buy you the book. If a guy is, and then publicly saying over and over and to all your friends, like I just don't, like I'm not into it, I don't want to. Leave, you deserve somebody who wants to fucking bury you. Get the fuck away. Yeah, she does and I agree, but that being said, he's really good at giving mixed messages. He's really good at saying, this is what I want,

this is what I want. And he does tell her one thing and then tell us another thing. So it's easy for us to say, oh, he's just not that into you, but she's getting messages that say, oh, I am into you. I'm working on myself and then I will then we will get married. So I understand why she watches the show. I presume. Yeah, well, hopefully now maybe she will. I don't, and I doesn't look like there's going to be a reunion. So I guess we'll have to just sort of guess we are there all at these days. Yeah, I think Reagan just misheard the message

at her wedding, because it was really me and that white car. And I saw Kelsey outside getting ready to walk down the aisle. And I was like, jump in, Bonnie, you could do better. Yeah, you little Ford Focus, you're just driving down Burman Street. Yeah, get rid of him, Kelsey. Get rid of him. So now we go over to bury into me because house and

Rainy just got her report card and she did really really well. She got 94's and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds so she's a smart little gal and good for her. I'm glad to see that because she's lovely and on top of that Rainy has made report cards for Tamika and Barry. Oh, God. This is so cute. Yeah, it was really cute. So the categories were temper, cooking, cleaning, fun and clothing.

And basically Rainy and Hunter both graded both parents. So they gave Tamika's temper a B and a a B minus her cooking and F and a D minus her clothing and A and her cleaning a C plus mainly because Tameka just went and threw away all of Rainier's toys which is like what the fuck? Tameka without asking me. I would be traumatized if that happened. Well kids get so many damn toys, okay. And then they have nothing, they don't play with them. And then if you're like, can we get rid of this? They're like, no!

I still would be traumatized, because I'm totally that kid. No, I want my broken wind up toy. I was, I wind. Yeah, my niece is sobbed when that happened to them because my sister ended up having to do the same thing, you know, because they won't let anything go. And I told them, listen, you have to get rid of old toys if you ever want new toys. And then they're like, okay, uncle. And then every time we went somewhere, they're like, can we get back? Can we get back? Can we get

back? It's like they kept it in their head like a bank account. Like we got rid of that. So now we get this, right? Kids do that. I mean, how do you think I got my video games? I had to like, I had this negotiation process that I would have to like learn Jewish prayers for my Bar Mitzvah. It was like I had to learn the prayers for my Bar Mitzvah and like if I finally like learn the prayer, I could like get super Mario brothers too. Oh really

I used to threaten my mom with food because my mom's really like thin conscious, you know She's always like don't eat that you're gonna get fat. Of course like I got fat like just to spite my mother and Still do to this day and proud of it. So I would be like I won't eat that box of little Debbie brownies if I can get a new game See that's good. Yeah, mine was based on learning my prayers for my bar mitzvah. Except my parents did that thing. You know, when you're a kid and you're learning how to swim and your parents say, okay, swim to me, swim to me,

but then they start to step backwards a little bit. And so you're always like, you are stepping backwards and you're making this a much farther distance for me. And that's basically what my parents would do because I've finished one prayer and they're like okay And now this prayer too and I was like So let's go over to someone else who's probably solving constantly for video games Reese Reagan and Reese's house.

They're with Amanda, their planner, who looks suspiciously like Marsapan or whatever the sister's name. Marsapan. Mars Mars. Marsal. What's her name? The sister. Oh, the sister.

Reagan sister. No, no, Jeff's sister who comes to visit. Oh, Marisa. Marisa. It's like Marcy. Marcy. It's like Marcy's Marcy. Marcy. Marcy. Marcy. Ohisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa and then we find out that they're separated at birth. Like a man, we know that you've planned this entire wedding and it's been a rough season for you

and you've gotten no love. So we're giving you a new role. Okay, you're gonna get more screen time. As Marcina! Marcina! Marcina. Oh God, she's basically that person in the play bill who has three roles separated by slashes

and then you spend sort of the the entire musical being like oh is that her again there she is again yeah now she's an old lady it's like watching law in order and seeing where you can spot Donna McKecney in this episode like who she playing this time it was like that episode of cheers when Perry Gilpin showed up but she wasn't Ross and I was like I hope people have realized that like cheers and phrasier are part of the same extended, you know, Kelsey grammar universe. And so for Ross to appear as non-Ross in cheers, and then as Ross in

phrasier, like that breaks the cheers phrasier continuum. And that's a lot of man that you just ruined tears. So we're saying, that's what I'm saying. Next time we turn on Fraser, it's a man that slash mercy. They've turned on Southern charm. He'll just be like, Daphne's gonna be in there somehow. Like everything's messed up.

It's like into the multiverse, you know? Yeah, she's like, I'm getting married. Requated a second. That's Amanda. That's not even Reagan. Reagan's getting married to Niles. We're like, what happened to the Southern charm Fraser freezer universes? So Reese is telling us, yeah, well she may have had

in the first Reagan's like, a man is the Reese that been so calm about the wedding. She has done every and Reese is like, oh yeah, that mis-event planner. Huh, she's gonna try and take credit, but I stepped in and said what I want. Well, thank God, none of that was actually ordered. I know. He just wanted like a bucket that everyone could pee in in the middle of the dance floor. I mean, I kind of felt like he was being tongue in cheek during his confessionals, but whatever, I'll take it on face value because that's what we get to do as podcasters.

Yeah. So then we find out that, not only is there going to be a gender reveal with the whatever, I'll take it along face value, because that's what we get to do as podcasters. Yeah. So then we find out that not only is there going to be a gender reveal with the cake cutting, which I push out of my brain, so then to be reminded of that, I was like, ugh, but there's also going to be confetti cannons. I don't think anyone wants that. And I don't think anyone wants like gender reveal confetti

falling into their cake either, by the way. And no one wants to think of your womb while they're eating cake. Yeah. And no one cares. And no one cares. I don't think one wants to think of your womb while they're eating cake. Yeah. And no one cares. We think womb. Okay. No one wants to think of that. Yeah. And you know, if anything that we've learned from Reese, you know, the gender that you reveal, like may not be the one that winds up on the birth certificate. So who cares? Yeah. So Reagan, they start talking about where to seat people and Reagan's like

Your parents are okay together. He's like oh, as long as they're not next to each other Oh god, and then there's uncle Davie and cousin Chad. Oh, man, and then there's cousin Nancy and cousin Ed Oh my god those two. It's like game of thrones like no, it's not it's like game of bet bale's of hay Yeah, it's like game of like. It's like, no, it's not. It's like Game of Bales of Hay. Yeah. It's like Game of like every person's family. Game of Bales of Hay. He's gonna get to see on the Iron Hay. Game of Logcribes.

Like, you know what's the thought? Okay. Who is Cersei? I guess this Michelle has mom. So, yeah. So, and basically by by the way Reese's dad is paying for everything So there's that too, so and Reese is like it's funny I feel like I've married Reagan a thousand different times but everyone I've like mess it up somehow like there's the time I peed on the wedding cake and the time I peed on the wedding band

Team I time I peed on the wedding dress so many times many problems oh What was this trail of M&M's thing about oh because you say how he's gonna mess it up So then Amanda's just Amanda says oh, we'll just put some We'll put like a trail of candy or M&M's down the aisle so you don't veer off and then they ask him what his favorite can is and he goes Reese's pieces and Reagan's like shut up please oh my god I'm like please let me go to the next scene we got it your babes on candy because you know every time they pass a bitters in the grocery store she's like

that's my family he's like really let's go to the candy aisle That's my family. He's like, really? Let's go to the candy aisle. Biyouh! Biyouh! And Jeff is like, he's like, let's look at the baking soda. Arm and hammer. That's my arm. So the next day, Jeff wakes up. Jeff Irons. They're doing it. This is another weird music cue. The music is like. It's like ironing a shirt. He's like, he's like, I've put on my, I've turned on my Rwenta iron. And then it just stops. The music stops again while he's driving on the

well, I didn't music was like, wait, did he just put on a scarf? Music was like, wait, everyone stop. Hey, all the loops stop looping. He's wearing a scarf again. So he goes to pick up Marcina at the airport, because you know, Marcina, you know, she's a late edition, but how lovely is she? She basically flew down to be with Jeff on this day because she knew that if she didn't, he would probably find a chainsaw and just like terrorize the neighborhood on like puncher chains.

So she's like, I'm just gonna come down here and be with you. Yeah, that was really sweet. And you know, for Amanda to take that much time off of the wedding right before it's happening. So yeah, it's really sweet and they start talking about how fire thing. Their family. Oh, what's with Mrs. outfire thing where like she's like, hold on, Jeff, I just have to take a call in the other room and then she runs to the

wedding and she has like a different like like hat on and then she comes back and forth until finally she wears the hat to Jeff by accident. Sally fields all upset. Mercy knows baseball's off. So they they start talking about their family super depressing and he's like, so was I a happy baby? She goes, Oh God, I remember that one time you got really mad. So you hopped on your big wheel and then you just like,

sped off and I had to chase you all through the neighborhood to try and find you and get you to come home. And he's like, wow, funny. You say that because I have a little problem with running away whenever there's a problem. At which point he jumps out of the car and finds the nearest gravel pit to run through. Yeah, God, I wish he still had a big wheels. Jeff? Yeah, if he had a big wheel, that would be great. Yeah, that would lighten every Jeff scene ever. If he just jumped on a big wheel and like peddled off.

Imagine that Thanksgiving scene he throws his plate and then hops on a big wheel and does like laps around the kitchen. Like, oh, Jeff, do you want to come back to the table? One more lap. So then we go to the wedding set up every you know everybody's getting set up it's the day of which of course so romantic this is when Reagan's writing her vows. Well I think most people write their vows that they have to be honest. Really? No? Yeah. Prepare. You have to prepare. Be prepared. Oh my god everyone I know is always

like I haven't written my vows yet So she's writing like 10 pages of vows and She's like oh my god, it's how cold outside Yeah, yeah, and then Kelsey shows up and she's like and and then Kelsey shows up and she's like, are you ready yet? Are you excited? And the weird things, I don't know why we're even talking about all these like, we're basically like it then someone has a coffee, you know? It's like, it's like just this random stuff

of just people like showing up, thinking about things, talking about things. So Reese is getting like a massage from his bro and he starts talking about his vow and he's talking about how his one talent in life is Writing and like he should really write hallmark cards because he says he's the deepest thinking most emotional person you'll ever meet Who's imagining his hallmark cards Roses are red violets are blue I

Pied in the corner, but you do you or blue, I peed in the corner, but you do you. So I like that Reese's guys, his groom's man, I'll look at him like he's just a fucking moron. And then they have one that looks like one of the brothers from New Heart. And he's just staring at them like, oh, good. Every time we say something, he just stares at him like, oh, Jesus. So he's like, I don't know if I'm gonna get through this Oh god, oh god

Life is a story each living creature gets to tell oh my god They're just looking I'm like God really, you're really missing some chromosomes. Like, what the fuck? He's like, some clang to what is comfortable or normal, afraid to take on obstacles. And that's like as far as he got. I'm like, what is this like strange dissertation you're trying to write here? This is supposed to be a vow. And he's like, I ran out of adjectives and adverbs. Like, how about you like say something from the heart rather than like try to do a

graduation speech does anybody know what rhymes with biscuits because I really love biscuits yeah he's just like listening to ingredients and Reese's pieces eventually yeah so they're both getting ready the moms are helping them both get ready and of course Reese's mom Michelle is the best Let me help you with that button Reese is like mom. No don't touch it. So come here My chest Chocolate on your finger So you're all right. Let me let me see you. Let's see how you look. What about those shoes? Oh, those are your shoes. Oh, okay.

Alright, just hit a Snickers bar, but I didn't wipe it off. Okay, I'm gonna do your time now. Mom Does it smell like piston here because of you or is that old nasty carpet, which I warned you idiots about? So now we have this like thing where it's like is to me cook and a walk in the wedding And then like there's like a knock on the door and In walks Amy Future sister-in-law not to meet a strike one Yeah, I don't think I'm playing flying by. So then, then we go back to the exciting world of Jeff and Marcina. And they're like, he's like, look, there's some Spanish moss.

They can give you lice. And that's the lake. She's like, wow. Wow. Can we go to this? This is great. This is great. We're in New Orleans and you're showing me moss.

Can we go to get Ben Yeas or something? Can we can we see Emerald's restaurant? Yeah, come on a mad to Marceena. You're not doing your job. You're supposed to say you know, I'm really hungry What sounds good to me a really classy buffet right now? No place with maybe a string quartet Marceena, why do you have a clipboard with a bunch of names on it and tables nothing nothing nothing just some doodling So then we go back to Reagan knock knock knock Oh By the way Michelle is still working on Reese's shirt.

It's like every time we cut back, they're still like getting on to like take them half an hour per button. So then there's another knock. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Well, uh, what? What? It's his amp, what a shit. Hi. It's Batman Lair. I love your wha- It's Samantha Fox. I love your whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I thought I'd try. Really loves his Amplishette. So... I guess maybe the ghost of his Amplishette.

I think she may have actually died. But you know, New Orleans is a very haunted... Wait a row in a wedding thing. It's a haunted place. It's a haunted place. And if anyone's gonna haunt this wedding, it's gonna be his Amplishette. I hope she haunts Justin.

Wouldn't that be funny with this stupid fake ghost being afraid of a ghost storyline? She ends up getting a real ghost and it sees Blaschette. I hope she haunts Justin. Wouldn't that be funny with this stupid fake ghost being afraid of a ghost storyline? She ends up getting a real ghost and it sees Suzanne Blaschette. I know. He gets a fabulous ghost. It's just like, are you still awake? I guess ghost Suzanne Blaschette.

Is she dead? I'm looking to see. I think she is. So yeah, she died in 2008. God. Missed that one. Sorry, Suzanne Blaschette. I'm crying to see I think she is yeah, she tied in 2008 God damn that one sorry Susan push that I'm crying too late Wow, it was that long ago 11 years to leave the she ever really leave no my heart you haven't died in my heart So anyway, yeah, so first rate Rachel comes through everybody's friend Rachel who then gets down graded again to Reagan's friend later in the episode I don't know why they keep doing that just make her everybody's friend. How about making her cast member? You could do that too, by the way And then finally there's a knock and in comes to me

My best friend wants me to stand with the wedding no matter how I feel about it I'm gonna stand with my friend because you know, she's friend. Like, I don't know if she remembers this, but I'm her best friend. So, you know what? I told her what I think, but if someone says, I don't care what you think I'm doing this, then hands up.

Fine, fine, I'm there, I'm there. I didn't really understand that logic. Like, I thought she'd hear me out. And then, like, but when there's someone saying, I don't care what you think, this is what I'm doing, then I'm like, cool, I got you.

I was like, no, yeah, you support him anyway. You spent the whole season saying the exact opposite that she should listen to you. Well, when you realize that people are going to dog you on Twitter for being a bitch to Reagan, you show up. Okay, you just show up. A good move, by the way, I think that was a good move. So she's like, um, okay, okay, okay, so here I'm with wedding here I'm at the wedding shank. Oh my god, and Reagan just is looking at her like she's waiting for a fight to start or something But to me kid just comes with a really good attitude and she's like all right. Come on. Yeah, let's do this

Yeah, so they want to find out the gender of the baby before they get to reveal to see if they can guess and to me because like it's a girl It's a girl. It's a girl. It's a girl. It's a girl. It's a girl. It's a girl gas and to me cuz like it's a girl to girl it's a girl to girl to girl it's a girl to girl to girl girl girl girl girl girl yeah cuz if the necklace swing if the necklace swings it's boy if it's if it circles it's a girl and see it's circling cuz I'm circling it see it circles yeah so then to me cuz our Kelsey's like do it whatever me. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what?

Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what? or at the supermarket and they're like picking out like yogurt and olive oil or whatever

I'm like why are we watching this? They're lovely but why are we watching them at the supermarket? Yeah, I don't need this. So they walk to the wine section there's a whole wall of Reagan's family's bitters and she's like oh I've never tried bitters. Gosh I'm gonna have to figure out how to work these into something just like, I can't escape this bitch. Can't even go to the grocery store. Anyway, anyone want some Reese's pieces? Love you some Reese's. Like the bathroom is closed, you're gonna have to pee in the barn out back. He's like,

Wow, this supermarket's really trapped in the 80s. I feel like I'm back in the Reagan era. Am I right Jeff? Am I right? So now it's the wedding nice 30 minutes until the wedding the temperature is 43 degrees So they're all getting ready and So they're all getting ready and everyone's cold and then Reagan's lined up and that's when the car drives by and someone goes Don't marry him honey. Run don't do it. She's like red necks I love as you just wave the mosque Right back. I like this happens all that it happens like when she gets the mail. Don't get the mail, honey, Ron, don't do it. You can. So then we see Regan's dad, which is a rare sight.

Yeah. And he's like, you look beautiful, honey. Don't you have a TR or something? He's like this little bitch. He's like, no, dad. And he wouldn't spend $5 for this wedding. You dick, you're lucky you even get to walk down the aisle and 43 degrees with him.

Yeah, if you wanted it to be our so bad, go to the hallmarks, or buy one off the rack over there. There are little, fancy ones. So by the way, Reagan's dress is so pidgerom, right? Because we saw Pidgerom designed MJ's dress and like, Nini's reunion look. It's basically like figure skater. It's always like it's like figure skater on top and like peach on the bottom and so it's just like so padrom. That is so padrom.

Yeah, not sure if it's a good thing, but it's so padrom. Yeah. So I've wrote right, why is Regan being walked down the aisle by Doug the messy gay, but it's her sister. They look just alike. Maybe he's like, also, it's like, I have to tell you something. I have to tell, I don't want to do this right now. Head in hand, head in hand, head in hand. But Reese doesn't want to marry you. Was this the bad time to say that? Is this a bad time? I hope I can end up set you on your wedding. So Reese is like, wow, I've never seen someone look so beautiful before my life and like that's coming from someone who once waited in line to get a kiss from a woman at a boat show, okay?

never That's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and and I've seen myself and my mom's clothes. So, that's saying something. I can't believe that's gotta be my wife. I'm like, let's skip the wedding and go consummate this shit. I'm like, she's pregnant, okay? You've literally already consummated it many times, sir. Yeah, you really have.

So, um, yeah. So now the ceremony starts. Tamika was sitting with Barry, not the other bridesmaids, which was interesting. Those poor bridesmaids, I mean, they were freezing. They were just like all like, like, they're chattering and like, their arms were shaking. This was a cruel wedding, a very cruel wedding.

Yeah. Well, Tamika, I think just committed so late that no one issue is coming, so they probably didn't have room Yeah, is that how it works? I don't know. I don't know how weddings work I've been to plenty of them, but you know, I'm so drunk by the end of them I don't I don't know how they work. Yeah, so then they're like speak now or forever hold your peace And of course everyone looks at Tamika Expect you to speak now just about anything. She'll just probably speak about anything like oh my god

Like there's not like it or next door. It was crazy. It was crazy. That was like, I don't, I got like any profession, but like a network cooking. Like, what does this report go? Like, I don't get it. Like, what's happening? What's happened? What's happened? What's going on? I just wanted to say congratulations to Barry. He just got remarried to me last week on a beach. Much more romantic than this carry on. So, yeah, so the vows are happening in Justin's crime. He's like, uh, I think I got something in my eyes, et cetera. I mean, Briggins vows, they're like a page long. They're so long and they're every cliche in the book.

It's like, well, you're like my crosswalk, keeping me safe from all clubbing traffic. You are like a stay-timp keeping my heart from attacking. I am like the spatula to your burger and I'm gonna flip you and make you better. I am the tuna salad to your pizza loaf. It's like okay. You are the paperclip that keeps my assorted papers together. You're the wings of a name all flying through the Bearer's Sky. It's like, all right, wrap it up. Wrap it up is cold.

So then Reese is like crying through his vow where he's like, life is a journey. And on the journey, there are urinals and there are sides of roads. And you can be in both of them. And I I'm just saying I want you to be there with me to be together. I'll roker stand and get the back gates like this is beautiful. Get out of here. He's doing a heavy catty in a Jimmy's shop, you know, like his soldiers are bouncing. your bouncing. So then the judge is like, alright, alright, okay, okay. And then to me it's like, I'm just sitting here like, wow, she loves his man, he loves her. Who gives a fuck what I think? Am I right? Just kidding. I give a fuck what I think, okay. That's

what he's doing. And the preacher's like, I love weddings because it's the only time I get to hand down a life sentence. Where's the job? I love a good joke. Yeah. I love a good, a good dad joke in a wedding. Yeah. So you know she just got divorced like five minutes ago, right? Yeah.

Yeah. You get to hand down concurrent life sentences. Maybe he just meant like, it feels like the sentences that are coming out of Reagan's vows are going on for life, and life, and life forever. Yeah, it's my side. Just let you out on parole and already we're having another hearing. Yeah. So now it's time for the reception and, uh, Kelsey's like, so John, what is your life going

to be like? And he's like, she's gonna embody dandelions in the summer. Aaaaah! Roses in the winter. Aaaaah! And everything I want in a woman! Aaaaah! I'm like, you know dandelions are weeds, right?

Right, they're weeds. And when I put my sperm in there, okay, okay, that's a joke. That's a joke, but... Ha, ha, ha, okay. That's a joke. That's a joke. Explain on the Herms Bay. She's gonna be like Poison Ivy in the winter, but Poison Oak in the fall. No, no, John, stay away from the botanicals. She's gonna be like sushi in 43 degrees

So John is like it's fucking freezing man someone had someone everyone's wearing first someone had on a bear and the Another neat that goes not a bear someone had an ostrich ding not an ostrich. Yeah, someone had a no bino elephant on Isn't even furry by the way Yeah, those kairon writers are like over time on this show having to correct what John who he says So then there's like this big room this big beautiful the reception room is like full of flowers I mean that was probably thousands upon thousand dollars, and he know that Candace on Potomac was so mad Because you want that flower ceiling. And this was like the most flowery reception area I think we've ever seen on Bravo. But that's where Reagan and Reese were doing all their photos.

And no one was allowed in while they took the photos. They're all out there in the cold freezing. They're like a zombie horde banging on the window. They're like, let us in. It's 43 degrees. Let us in. And they're like taking precious photos with the flowers. You know why flowers are used at funerals?

Redness in a comment in a new story. Because back in the whole days, before they had phagerpox helping dead people smell better, they used flowers to cover the smell of dead people. So I think that it's very fitting that they have that many flowers. When you know that carpet smells like pee, everybody knows it. Michelle said it very loud. And Rutgers got to still be mad at her mother-in-law for saying that.

Because that's all I can think of during this whole wedding. I'm like, this is beautiful. It smells like pee in there. Yeah. So now, like, it looks like a lovely wedding, fabulous food, etc. There was some sort of neon sign that Reagan was very proud of. Oh, that was not cool that sign. What did it say, like, that- It's always been you.

And she's like, yeah, well, I had this sign made because I feel like even though there was Jeff there, like, it's always supposed to be him. It was always supposed to be Reese. It was always supposed to be Reese. Like Jesus rubbed in. But to me fair, it was a little bit of a rush job. And if we had more time, we could have finished the sign, which was supposed to say, it's always been you peeing in the corner.

So the preacher is talking to Justin and Kelsey's of the judge preacher, preacher judge. Preacher judge. He's judge. Preacher judge. He's talking to you, Justin. He's like, God, I love doing weddings. You know, it's the two-time people are joined together. Weddings and birth of children. And Kelsey's like, ah, ah, ah, ah.

The two-time people are so happy. It's a happiness that most people will really get to have. And I'm sure Kelsey will have in a specific amount of time from now. You know what my favorite are July weddings. Kelsey's like, ah! Weddings and babies. The culmination of when a man truly loves a woman.

Am I right, Kelsey, and Justin? Am I right? So then the gang is all sitting down and eating and Kelsey's like, I don't know what kind of writing I-I don't know what kind of writing is. Right? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Give him an ultimatum like you give him an ultimatum like like an ultimatum like a not just like a medium But like an ultimatum and she's like no, I gave him gave me a promise a promise that was based on an ultimatum And what does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean to promise? What is that? What's promise? What's this what's this gonna happen and it's a really long pause and Justin's like? Well Six months. Okay, maybe seven months. Yeah, I'm really excited about it.

Can't you tell? Ring the King. I'm gonna see like a flashback of him two weeks going, I'm not ready to, he's like actually explicitly says I'm not ready to get married and have kids. Oh, and to me, it's like, what is he doing? Like if you don't want to marry or don't marry or Jesus Stop dragging her along. Yeah, so then we go over to Jeff at home and

He is having wine and cheese with Marcina and we actually get like a really like a nice like completion of an arc Which is that he presents his sister a cheese plate and it's like nicely arranged or as nice as it could be arranged. And I was like, look how far he's come since the first episode when you put like a few chunks of cheese in a strawberry on a little cutting board. Look how far he's come. Not only how far you've come as a person, but how far you've come as a bravo person,

a charcuterie tray. I mean, there is nothing that says, I'm on bravo, like a charcuterie tray. Well done, there is nothing that says, I'm on Bravo, like a Sarkootary tray. Well done, sir. He really did a good job, Jeff. Uh, uh, uh. And so back at the table, uh, wait, are we back at the table? I mean, unless you want to talk more about Sarkootary,

Jeff and Marcina talking about childhood and how he was like happy to be distracted. No, let's go back to the wedding back to the wedding. So everyone's like, where's Jeff, we texted Jeff, we texted Jeff and, oh, yeah, okay, so this is introducing the new Mr. reducing this is recent Reagan and John stands up as like, So this is where we start getting the ending things, right? To me, it's like, well, I'll break it on our sisters and like whatever issues we have

can wait. You know, the reason the other guy, Jerry saw it on him. Jerry's still out on him. So then we get the dances, the mom, dad, the dance, and the dance dance, and the other dance. And that was time for Kate Cutsie. Yeah. So now the big gender reveal that no one cares about is it gonna be a boy is it gonna be a girl Will there be goody bags?

Girl girl girl because girl is always right. No, and it is a girl. There's pink inside pink falls down whatever and So there's that we also see by the way of restancing with his mom, and she's like, don't drop me your stupid ass. So, Tamiqa takes Reese to dance. Or he has, yeah, she has him to dance. He's like, oh god, she goes, he goes, can we name our baby Tamiqa? She's like, oh my god, she'd be so bossy, no, Z. Like, a name your Tamiqa to porn,

I'm not one point out. And he's like, she'd be a badass, get shit done. Yeah. So yeah, I'm always gonna be a bit chisholid. I hope you know, see like a neighbor to me could to point out not one point out and he's like she'd be a badass. It gets shit done Yeah, so yeah, I'm always gonna be a bit to you. I hope you know that He's like as long as we come back together as family. Did you see cousin Patty and cousin Irv sir a shot? I mean that's like game of thrones right there So they are gonna get on the iron hay bell So then like to me again Reese have this like dance off, which is supposed to be like the like the coming together like they are now officially

gonna be friends. I was surprised that Reese had some real high kick flexibility. I mean he definitely got his leg. It's up there. Yeah, he really did. He's like the king of wacky dancing. Yeah, you know, he's done this at parties a lot. Like, fuck that. Like his favorite like silly dance floor moves that everyone loves when he went like who brought who brought who brought the dogs out or whatever. Mama, it's not who brought the dogs out. Who let the dogs out? Who brought the dogs out?

Yeah. Turn it into a powering. Juddly bringing dogs outside. Yeah, turn it into an empowering song. Who outside. Yeah, turn it into an empowering song. Who brought the dogs out could have been me. So this is all going and Justin is looking nervous and sad and Kelsey looks all more roast. And it comes to Justin telling us,

you know, I want that same beauty, but you know, even if Beyonce walked into the room, I still wouldn't be ready. And the producers like really Beyonce, come on. Yeah, it's like, no, I would date her in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't be ready to get married. I was like, okay, okay, Justin, you need way more intensive therapy than we ever realized. Yeah. So six months later. Yeah, now we have this like very strange Coda where to make a visit Jeff at his house

and he's sold it, which made me really happy because I think one of my complaints from a few episodes ago is like Jeff, what are you doing in that house still? It's like crazy Rikoko house, like get out of there. So he's sold it and he's gonna he's gonna ride to the west coast on a motorcycle. And I don't know what's he gonna start over or I don't know what's he going to start over or I don't know what's going on, but it was like very like. Yeah, he's completing his midlife crisis arc by buying a motorcycle to travel across country. Yeah. And just driving off and literally into the sunset. How is this? How is this like driving until I find my sunset. He found his big wheel. He found his big wheel.

I mean, like I don't understand like how he has, his whole thing was like, I have to learn to stop walking away. I got to learn to, my instinct is just to leave. Like you're specifically leaving. Yeah, listen, there's, there's no revenge like getting a decent agent in LA, alright? So he's like, I'm outta here. So Tameka tells us that they had the baby

and now, you know, now Reagan has two babies. And- They're both name-beats. Yeah, and we find out that Jeff has been sober for five months. Which is nice. And then we find out that now Tameka's not best friends with Reagan anymore.

Now she's friends with Jeff. She's besties with Jeff. She sort of ends on this shady note where she's like, this year I lost the best one best friend and gained a better one. Yeah, my new best friend is my old best friend's ex-husband or something like that. I was like, oh shit. So I take it Reagan didn't stay true to her word and keep in contact. She's like, okay, we're done filming, bye.

Yeah. And I'm wondering, like, is Jeff going back to New Orleans after he gets the West Coast like where what is what is happening? What is this like a goodwill hunting ending? I don't understand it. But I think he's just going on a journey, man. Well, down, bro. Yeah, I'm not leaving his TV show. Who would do that? Well, I don't know. He never know, Jeff. He's an odd character. We just have to keep it for us to go next year we come back and he's just always in a different

place I feel like we're starting here like everybody's talking about me it's just gonna be on like a bus like like a like a male hot flirt dead next to him. Hey, Rizzo. Just like, I keep getting on buses and jiggleos keep dying next to me. Oh, I met John Pence while I've that didn't end well unfortunately. But, you know, I'm still going. Still going. And that brings us to the end. Everyone sees him. Everyone sees a Viking on a motorcycle

motoring through just just like Don't mention anything about Reagan. Okay, just don't do that. I don't just want to play in your face Oh, everybody. Thanks so much for joining us for this season of real house. I mean southern charm door Let us so disrespectful. Thank you for being with us for a real house live season Thanks for being with us this season of southern charm. D'olum. Yeah great great great job great second season looking forward to season three. And we will we'll talk to all of you guys later. Don't forget to buy tickets to Charlotte and all our other shows and we will talk tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins. Add free on Amazon Music. Download the Bye, bye.