Watch What Crappens - Summer House: 2 Girls, 1 Kroll

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

The love triangle between Lindsay, Ciara, and Austen bubbles over into house drama on this week's Summer House. But at least Kyle and Amanda aren't fighting!Whose team are you on?Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, what happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? What happens when they're so loud and rapins? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is someone who looks like,

God damn Celine Dion. It's Roni Karam. How are you, Ronnie? Well, hello, Bane. Hi, today we're talking Summer House. Are you excited? Oh, yes. So excited. Summer House is kind of winter house, but at a different place now.

Yeah, it smells different. Too much Austin. Too much Austin in my life. Get Austin out. Oh, God, he is so awful. Like, we've always thought he was awful. But I really feel like this was like, what's the, I want to say peak Austin, that's like, Nadeer Austin, just like the worst type of Austin. And normally he gets, he gets, it's,

no, we've never liked Austin. But he can kind of get away with it a little bit more because he usually has shepp there who can sort of like, you know, take all the heat. But now Austin is just so Austiny and gosh, not a great episode for him. Oh, he's terrible. I mean, this show is used to its fuck boy assholes, but it's like a certain brand of fuck boy asshole Austin is not that brand Austin Austin you're an off brand asshole. You don't belong here. Yeah, terrible

Before we dive into the full recap just a reminder that we have tickets on sale for our shows At watchercrapins.com next week week, go to Denver. There are tickets available for that. Then two days later, we'll be in San Francisco, which is sold out. So thanks everyone for buying and for selling us out there. Very excited to get back there. And then in April, we are going to Detroit, Columbus, and Cleveland.

And then we're gonna close things out in Austin at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival, and then in Houston, and finally in Dallas. And then that is it. And the tour is over. So be sure to get your tickets and also be sure to go to crappensmerch.com or just go to our website, watch our crappens, to get your merch and rock it at the show. It's been so cool.

It's been really cool seeing everyone wearing their stuff, but it's also mugs and pins, stuff that you don't wear. So go check that out. And that's basically it. Are you ready to do anything else I need to remind people of Ronnie before we dive into summer house? No, let's do it. Let's talk about the elephant in the room, which is the fact that Alex and Jason were at the Lindsay birthday fairy tale birthday party and we're not shown on camera at all, which is super weird. So people were commenting on that in the last episode, but someone from Summer House, I think it was Lindsay said something like,

but there's always next one. And so we thought, okay, well, maybe Alex is gonna make an entrance. Yeah, that's, I thought what was gonna happen is he was gonna show up. And then be like, it's Alex. They'd be like, yay, Alex, you made it in from the city. They did not show him at all. And Jason, I caught Jason, I happened to pause it,

and I saw Jason in the background, but they didn't give him a moment of like, Jason, it was actually very strange, but I guess it was such a, it was such a big episode, like there's so much going on that maybe they just didn't have the time to dedicate towards any of that. It was weird. I was surprised. Jason's not technically on this show where I use from Winterhouse. So I guess I could get that, but Alex is on this show.

Like you never even see him after the party or in the house at all, or when they're going to sleep or like he's just been cut out of the show. That's weird. Something's going on. Yeah. And I thought, well, maybe they're firing him or something, but they just filmed Celebrity family feud a week ago and Alex was chosen to be part of the summer house delegation

So he's still could clearly like in In bravo's good graces So it was just maybe it's just that he maybe his costume was was off the maybe like he dressed up as just a pound of ground turkey And they're like no, it has to be fair to tell. You're not gonna be on the episode now. So we open up with Lindsay and Austin making out at Lindsay's. I'm 35, but my over is there 20, hey, Barney! Yeah. And so they're making out while Sierra and Paige are doing

like a selfie and everything. And when they were making out, I thought it was so funny because the producers put their labels up, which says Lindsay publicists and it goes Austin, it's just nothing. You just, don't even say like Lindsay's friend or anything, it's just nothing. Oh, so they finished making out and he's like,

I love you, Wins. I like, I love you, wins. She's like, I love you and see you. So then Carl McKenzie, you're talking and he's like, so way things so far, I'm gonna have to say, what do you think of my, what do you think of the party? And she's like, it just reminds me of like how socially awkward I am at parties. He's like, yeah, same. I'm so, so slow. I like to take a slow.

They're having weird chemistry to me. I feel like there's like this awkwardness because they kind of have to be like, he kind of has to be with her the entire time, even though they make a big deal that they don't have to be with each other. But it's like a weird energy. I think this is not the event to bring Mackenzie out for. Well, they have zero chemistry. And he's, this is a part, I guess,

where they stop having to be with each other because she's like, yeah, I'm like, so she's like awkward. So it goes, okay, I'm gonna go chill over here with the boys. I'm sh- So he just ditches her. Yeah.

So then, Sierra and Maya are by the one night stand club because I love tacos and chicken. What is that? Mm-hmm. Whatever the theme is. Yeah. And Maya is still, like Danielle was trying to get Maya to be with this guy Oliver.

So Oliver wants to go in the pool and Maya's theme back on the pool and Sierra was like, get into a bathing suit right now. And then that we see sort of like a parallel moment because since Sierra says get into a bathing suit right now, we then cut to Austin yelling at Andrea, Andy, right now. Because it's like they're saying right now, they're both saying right now,

which means that they're meant for each other. So Austin goes inside with Andrea, and he's like, dude, I just made it out with Lindsay. And he's like, you did it! Oh my God! It was right in front of you. I mean, it looked like you were taking videos of it last week.

Is it mad? I like that he's acting all excited by it. I know, and Andreas like, like are you making a session or like a little cute kiss? Like the sort of a kiss you give a tiny, it's a pretty tiny little pagey pool, like that kind of kiss. And he's like, no, there was tongue involved, which is funny because it's Austin,

so no matter what he does in life, tongue is always involved. It's even involved right now as he's not talking. He's just smacking and his tongue's flapping out of his mouth. I'm not really sure what's up. So he's like, oh, so it was real? And he's like, yeah, it was like real. There was like tongue involved. Oh, bro.

And Andre was like, oh, this is going to be a bad. And Austin's like, why? Oh, because Seattle loves you. Stop it. Because I don't know what that means, right? A drama. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa shoulders at the same time. He keeps doing that to people today. He's like, bro, stop. Nothing, nothing's going on. All right. And he's like, I love my parole Austin, but he's being sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. He's playing, he's like, meatball made with a kind of rubber. Okay. Sneaky. You play with Lindsay's heart. And he's also playing with Seattle's heart.

And I think deep down he enjoys doing this and it is something I've done in the past which is not something I'm proud of it it is not nice to play with two girls hearts alright five girls let's do shots and find something real he's a not nice to do these two girls hearts unless the girls are both adorable little dolls, yes. So then the big guy who's a guest at a party, there's like a big guy there, and all we hear him say the entire time is, it is hot.

Like he walks in and he's like, God, it's hot here. I'm like, yeah, it's hot. So he's still hot. And he said anybody was wondering. He's like, look, it is so hot. And Luke's like, I know, bro, I want to take off this cast room

and jump in the fucking pool. I mean, yeah. Luke is really, he's like, he's real like sort of slaves of fashion this episode because he's so committed to his mad hat or thing and he just refuses to get out of it until the very end of the party. Whereas everyone else has like five costume changes.

Yeah, well, this is like full makeup too, you know. Yeah, that's a rough line. So Sierra and Maya are in the bedroom talking about Oliver and Sierra's like, do you like this guy? And she's like, well, his personality would make me more attracted to him probably. Yeah. I just like, I just like my, uh, something like, yeah,

he needs to have a better personality. No, she's saying she's not attracted to people because of their looks. That's her big thing. Well, I'm not attracted to guys because of looks. I'm only attracted to personalities. So it's like, we're really hard for me to know, but probably I'll not attracted to guys because of looks. I'm only attracted to personalities So it's like really hard for me to know but probably I'll be attracted to him when I know his personality more Hmm, by the way, have you received your cookies from Maya yet? No, stop asking. I feel terrible about I feel terrible

Like I'm torturing this poor girl, you know, you're not torturing. No, listen She's a public figure and she scaled up too quickly. She's like pinkberry, you know? Then that's, I'm giving her a way out, you know? No, I think the way out has been taken. She's not making fucking cookies, okay? She's got a way out. She's not going to make the cookies, that's it. Well, she can make some refunds then. So now Lindsay makes your speech. I just want to say thank you so fucking much for everyone turning up and like dressing in theme. I'm like obsessed with like everyone here and like fairy tales were represented to us very

differently when we were a kid. And what if you decide you wanna be the queen of your own life, right your own fairy tale, right? Oh, just to give Flaker getting mad, that she's taking pictures. I did this already. You are the ugliest person in the world for making finer my part.

Also, Lindsay is reading this speech off of her phone. Like, Quince, no. Come on, Lindsay, you're writing a speech for a stupid birthday party. You already are the queen of your own fucking fairy tale, okay? Also, nobody is dressed up for this party except the cast members. I don't know if you noticed, but.

There were like a few like sad attempts at a fairy tale theme. It's like someone with a bunny ears. Like, oh, that's actually not a fairy tale. Okay. That is Easter. How rude. So then Kyle's like, tell us about your eggs.

So she says, thank you for celebrating my 35th birthday going on 20 28 year old eggs Hmm, so she's just screams. Let's party Same Robert and Danielle. Oh my god this couple. Wow. I mean the sexual It's just it's just smoldering or it's smoldering off the screen So she's like, you know what Robert like if someone's bringing their negative energy I'm just gonna go with it. I'm going to be like, boo, no, because that's my energy, you know. Yeah, I would love to see Lindsay do that for Danielle. I feel like Danielle does all the stuff for Lindsay, but I guess we haven't really gotten a chance to see if Lindsay's going to

show up for Danielle because Danielle is just never in the situations that Lindsay's in, right? But she's not. That's not how it works in these friendships. You find like a hangar on and someone who's just going to oo and aw you. And then that's what they do. I mean, she's even spending her private time with her boyfriend talking about how she's not going to let anybody be negative to Lindsay. Who's being negative to Lindsay? Literally nobody. Yeah, but she knows. She knows it's coming. She can sense with CR and everything. She can feel it. But you know, this is something we haven't really, I mean, I haven't really thought this before, so we haven't talked about it, but she's not the best friend to Lindsay actually. And it's really

weird. Like, it's kind of like she's working behind the scenes against Lindsay, but then playing the nice friends as we get to you later in this episode She's a little shitster. Go on. I'd like to so tell explain more. I'm intrigued by this Blink now she seems so funny with her whole oh Lindsay your whole area is to have more Lindsay So did you make out with us? Oh how many times? Oh, you're funny, Lindsey. That's oh, yeah, keep doing that. Yeah, how Larry. So how many times did you make out? Oh, Lindsey, you're so call lazy twirl around again. Where did you make out? And then she immediately goes to the girls like, oh, yeah, she was making out with She was making out with Austin this whole time you guys. I didn't even know about You know, she just she

starts a lot of the crap. She started the thing today. True. I mean, she is, she definitely is a poster. I mean, she's sort of growing into that role because the first like two seasons she was on, she's basically doing nothing. Like, wasn't Danielle actually been dropped by the show twice, but they keep bringing her back. But now she's finally found her land. Like, I love Danielle. I think she's wonderful, but she is, she has realized, oh, I guess if I'm gonna say on this show, I am gonna have to stir the pot a little bit more because no one cares about me doing Zoom meetings.

Yeah, but this show isn't really a stir the pot show. It's like a bee the pot. Oh my God. Don't stir the pot, be in your pot. Um, how about you're the queen of your own pot? Yeah, I mean, it's an interesting theory. I'm gonna pay attention to it a little bit more to see if she's being like a performative friend but undermining on the side. It seems like it. I've never gotten that from her before, but today for sure I did. So Amanda and Paige are drinking fireball and Paige is like,

oh my god, this is like fair H. This is so funny. This actually does not taste full price, which is good. So I'm ranked. I am drunk on these savings right now. So then Kyle is, Kyle is very happy because he and Amanda are not fighting this weekend. He's like, oh, it feels like the first week on the summer where there's like a weight off my shoulders. Like, we're not fighting. The friends are not all up in my business. Oh, it's so good. This is what summer should feel like.

I just needed to let the engine idle a few weeks. And, uh, yeah, I guess that's what I'm calling my fiance now, an engine. So yeah. So Luke and Carl are talking and he's like hey, buddy You you know you and we can see wow you're like so adorable. So is she having fun? He's like, yeah, it's weird because like she's only been here for like three hours I'm like I feel like she's been here for like oh, oh, yeah Was that supposed to be a compliment? Yeah, I feel like it

That's not good. And I agree. She feels like she's been here much longer. Oh, yeah. Sounds not so good. So then Carl tells us, Yeah, I had a pretty good son's prior to invite him. He comes to you, but she would've put in really well, you know, because she's sort of like generic and not that interesting.

And I'm just like, I feel comfortable with her. And like, I feel like I could talk with her. Like, she sounds like a really good heart. And I kind of like that, you know, that comfort. I just feel safe, you know, I'm just like I feel comfortable with her and like I feel like I could talk with her like she sounds like a really good heart and I kind of like that you know that comfort I just feel safe you know I'm like a little boy I just I just want to get slow that's all I just want to get slow guys I feel safe okay anyone who watched Love Island would never look at I'll say for there, not one. So let's see, Austin is talking to El Sierra. Okay, he's talking to Sierra. So he's like, what's up? What are you having fun?

And she's like, I feel like you're just me weird right now. He's like, how are you, Sierra? How are you, Sierra? And she goes, well, how are you, Austin? Well, I don't know. I'm just like running around. And you know what funny a star from the fight you look like god damn Celine Dion I haven't seen one attractive girl here yet so This is throwing shoulders. He's doing is like I'm saying how are you

drawing his shoulders. Let's fight thing and starting a fight on purpose and your shoulders, let's fight thing and starting a fight on purpose. And this entire line is just, you might as well have just pulled it right out of the game, right, that book. This was the, it just is like such a, like a classic kind of neg, you know, to make someone feel bad, to make yourself feel, you know, make yourself more attractive. And Sierra Falls for it, of course, she's like, oh, are you coming here to find girls? You're like, no, no. Why would I need to find girls

by already found Goddamn Selene Dion? I'm asking me that, huh? Guy has no personality intelligence or professional prowess to back him up. So he just counts on anger to inspire any sort of passion from somebody. And it's sad. It's sad at this point.

And like, why don't you just... Yeah, and first of all, there are attractive girls there. Second of all, why would you say that to the girl that you're sort of making out with? And honestly, even from just like the point of view of someone who just wants to get some ass and it's gonna be like a fuck boy, like why would you say that to what is potentially

your piece of ass for the weekend, right? Unless you're trying to neg, but it's just, it's just like an obnoxious and stupid thing to say and very unbrand for Austin. Yeah. So she's like, I mean, I would just love if you'd say whatever. I mean, like, I like you. Like, I feel like you know that. So do not know that.

And he's like, um, I feel like right now is not the right time. Like in the middle of all of this. Like she's trying to have a talk with you. She's not you fucking prick. You come up up to her and start this like, I don't see attractive girls here and all this shit. And then you're trying to fight with her so that everybody will see like he's so gross.

He is gross and like let's not forget, less than 24 hours earlier, she was in his room and he was like, I just wanna eat you from front to back. So like, you know, talk about mixed messages. And what sucks is, and this is really, this goes back to the early seasons of Carl, because Carl did this like crazy to Ashley Workis, which is that basically,

you love bomb the girl and you get into the girl and everything and then all of a sudden you start to, you say things and you act aloof, you don't, you sort of, you promise almost, you dangle the idea that there could be something there and then you act aloof and you act unavailable. And the girl is just like, I just want to know what's going on here.

And then you make her look like she's the crazy one. And now Sierra is the one for this episode who sort of looks like the crazy one, like stomping around and trying to be like, can we talk? Can we talk? When she's actually not the crazy one. And she's been put in that situation by the stooch bag. She is the crazy one and she's the stupid one as well. Like he's crazy and stupid,

but I'm not just like, oh, yeah, Sierra, like no, no, no, no. Also, you know, this is one where I have to remember that people are in their 20s while she is. So I have to remember that because, listen, I mean, I've had plenty, I've fallen for so many of these guys. That's why it triggers me every single time, you know, like this fucking guy, you don't start a conversation, then he makes you mad so that you're like, but is everything okay?

Then he's like, well I can have this conversation. It's Lindsay's party. And yells it so everybody hears that she's trying to have a relationship conversation and mess up Lindsey's party. Exactly. I mean, she is crazy and stupid for being interested in him, but like, you know, he will, he is going to, in terms of what he's going to throw into her face,

like, oh, she's so clingy and she's so crazy, that's his doing, that's not her. She, yes, she has a baseline of stupidity for being into him, but that's separate from the other stupidity and insanity that I believe is Austin's fault. Well, she, I mean, that started, this whole thing started in Winterhouse

where he had just been hooking up with Lindsay and talking on the phone, saying he can't wait till they can finally be together. And Lindsay coming thinking they were gonna actually start dating and then Sierra starts going for Austin and being like, well, he's done with Lindsay. So what's the big deal with that? I mean, it's not like she doesn't know that this guy's a fucking douchebag. You know, you were fine doing this to another girl and rubbing it right in her face.

And guess what? You know, turned about his fair play, Madame. Enjoy yourself. I know, but I'm saying like that, that crazy insupity is a separate crazy, that goes in a different file, that goes in a different vanilla folder for me, that's like, that's already filed away

in like the Sierra records. I'm just saying this new thing where Austin is now gonna be able to go to everyone and be like, yeah, I liked her, but she went crazy on me. She's like a crazy person. You know, she's like, she's insane right now. God, she's so clingy.

Like, that's where I get mad because he gets to now go say that when it was him who sort of like created this situation. You know what I'm saying? And then he gets to go around and say how crazy she is. When I was like, no, you were not just answering simple questions and it made her look like she was the the clinger and the and she may have a level of clean as I'm not just counting that, but I'm just saying this is classic fuck boy, you know manipulation happening right here. And we have to call it out.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then Lindsay and Danielle are talking and Lindsay's like, oh, and then I'm sitting on the nights right, making out right in front of the entire party. And she's like, Lindsay, do whatever you want. This is an Austin and Sierra problem. You know, there are a hundred people dressed like Alice here,

but Danielle is the most fitting because she spends her entire story following somebody around. She went down the rabbit hole and all she found was Rosé. But it's funny because this is also an episode where there's a lot of energy spent on conversations and should we be having them right now. You know, it's very exciting. Oh, so she tells us that for this year for my birthday, I'm gonna give you some of the gums that I'm not giving up lying fuck. Because I don't think, I mean, I think that's a pretty solid goal. I'm gonna make out what do I want. I'm gonna party with the one and I don't give up. It's like. Ha ha ha. Lindsay is still a dependable mess. Yeah, also this is no different than just like a normal day for Lindsay.

By the way, I like that she gave herself a gift. It's like me saying, I'm gonna give myself the gift of getting into my car today. And I was like, well, it's not that different than a normal day. So she says that she talked to Austin and that Austin told her that he's had this conversation with Sierra Adnazium and she keeps coming back at him with it and she's like, I just want to be single and have fun. I'm like, I don't have this conversation. I'm not just one of them. And Danielle's like, wow, okay, wow.

Cause she's like, now she's thinking like Sierra's just like so terrible. This is actually Sierra's fault somehow. So now Sierra's crying and Paige comes and sits by her and she's like, this Lindsay and Austin thing is so annoying. And Paige is like, I know it's like paying full price in the Sarah, am I right?

So annoying. Jumping like Jessica, oh, she's like, just cause we like paying full prices there. Am I right? So annoying. Jump like Jessica. Oh, she's like just because we're not talking every day, it doesn't mean that my feelings for him went away. Like, I don't want to come over come off as possessive over some guy. I'm not in a relationship, but like have some fucking respect. Like if someone did this to Lindsay, she wouldn't like it. If someone did this to her, she would have exited from the house. She would would have exited from the house. She would have been exiled from the house.

Okay. Or she would have had someone exiled. I honestly, I can't say my line properly because I'm just thinking about paying full prices, Zara, it's really fucked me up. Lindsay was the one hooking up with him first and had to spend all winter house pretending she didn't care that he let her on and then rubbed you in her face.

So, it's kind of where I'm at. Like, I don't feel for you. So pages like, was he said anything to you about like her in general or like what their status is or if it's like platonic or if they're just friends or why she has like a one night sand club at her party or like if she thinks that's thirsty. Like I can't go on. And so you're like, I don't do I need to ask him about that? Yeah.

And Paige basically feels really bad for Sierra. She thinks that Lindsey just doesn't give a shit or whatever. And so they hug and they give a little, I love you, I love you, I love you. And Sierra's like, I'm just so much better than this, which is true. Literally you're crying over Austin Crowell.

This is not what you want to have on public record. Yeah. And so then, he just like, fuck these guys. Honestly, you're like so much better. If a guy doesn't like you, I feel like he's had a lobotomy. And she's like, what's that? It makes sense. It means that you had your brain taken out.

She's like, I'm a nurse. I should know that. Maybe it's because she doesn't know it. But now she's a nurse that thinks the lobotomy is when somebody gets her brain taken out. So. So now it's like party time, party. And then Kyle jumps into the pool wearing his like pink dinosaur inflatable thing and I'm a unicorn. I just know the full thing today. Yeah. Oh, I'm so sorry. And I'm and I was like is he gonna drown Kyle? Kyle?

I'm gonna do mouth to mouth Kyle's hesitation on him. Kyle? She's like if Kyle was gonna die jumping through a rainbow floaty and I pink unicorn blow up, I think that he'd be okay with that. I would not because I have no access to his asses if he dies. Ha ha ha ha I think that I'm assuming his estate has to give back that money right because that's part of the contract. I don't know. It's like cocktail napkin contract from the parents. I don't know.

So now, Andrea is flirting with, you know, multiple girls. He's like, do do that this tequila is Legita. Let's look at shot come on girls Yeah, let me give you shots and little pimples tiny tiny little shots at like everything small so then Inside Kyle's like babe. I'm here Kyle. I'm pying. You take your own thing. You're pooping. Peeing. Romance abouts. I'm gonna go Prince babe. Should I go Prince? Prince?

Sigma isn't too hot for that. I just don't want you to pass out Kyle without signing a well. without signing a well. So, Andreas, we got back to Andrea getting the shots with those girls. He's like, well, little, little tiny page made things very clear that she's gonna go for a craig. And if that's what makes her happy, then the fine. At the same time, I want to make a meaningful connection with somebody.

As he, like, buys shots for people, I'm like, oh, wow, I really feel all those meaningful connections happening. He's doing shots with like five girls going, I can't wait to make a meaningful connection. So then Kyle gets on his prints outfit. You like, yes. Well, I mean, look, at least he didn't do blackface. I was getting very scared there, you know? And then Lindsay, she's like, I'm gonna change into a more appropriate nighttime outfit. And so she goes to change into just like another fairytale outfit. And then Carl's just sitting with Paige and Paige.

She's like, oh, I really like Mackenzie. I like the way she sort of sits there and does the same much. Like, that's really cool for you. And like, reminds me of paste, not like glue, but paste, university paste, you know, it's like that. That's really cool. Yeah, she's like Loki, but like, she still has a personality. I'm assuming, I mean, I'm guessing. He's like, yeah, like she does do her own thing. And then it

custom Mackenzie, talking to someone like, yeah, I know. Oh my God, that personality was really leaping on the screen And it matters like yeah, it's good when they can hang on it up party I mean like highland I like I don't even know where he is right now like we're you don't he's the one He's a white guy walking around in a prince costume going. Look, his prince, I'm prince. Hey, I'm prince. Look, I'm prince. Look.

So now Maya and Oliver are talking the pool and she's like, so you're from Connecticut originally. I didn't even know there were black people from there. And he goes, yeah. And there's black people in Boston too. She's like, yeah. And then Danielle is so proud. She's like, oh my god, I made a love match.

She's going to be, and then Danielle also Pratch is like, oh my god, I made a love match. She's gonna be going for the team Hmm And so they're joking because my it's like well, I can't believe that Danielle thought I would like you Oh I guess yeah, I guess she doesn't know you that well or me that well like wow you two are gonna be Negative couple made in heaven. Oh Sardonic love. So then Austin is kissing Lindsay for a picture while Sierra is dancing angrily and kind of watching on like I'm dancing and I'm not watching you at all but I'm watching you. Yeah, and then Lindsay's in her evening, Tutu,

and then everyone's like jumping in the pool again, and Lindsay's like, 10 out of 10. And then Austin, like, he like chases Lindsay down, and like he basically picks up Lindsay and then jumps in the pool with her, and so Sierra is like watching angrily from the side. Scorned woman.

It's so funny because they showed Sierra dancing like the double fist dance. You know, like when you're just kind of moving your two fists, but she's all pissed off and now she's now she's in the pool doing the exact same double fist dance all pissed off. And Lindsay is like straddling Austin in her and like flesh clip chip thing. Oh, by the way, I wanted to tell you, I don't mean like rectangular chip clips. Have you seen those chip clips that are circular? Like you push them down, they look like a pen and then then you push the top down, and it opens its mouth, and then you put the bag in there, and then it clamps down that way. It looks like an alligator.

No, no, it's circular. It's like the shape of a pen. It's a tube. It looks like a tube with a button on top. So you click the pen button top, like if you were going to make the pen go down and the tube opens, like it has a mouth and it opens and you put the bag in there and then you let go and it clips at that. I mean, they reinvented the chip clip, you guys.

You're 100% not seen that 100%. I was thinking that maybe you're talking about those IKEA ones, those flimsy IKEA ones that are like alligator mouths and you like open them and then you close them and you're like, is this really gonna keep it closed and it sort of does, but it sort of doesn't. No, IKEA chip clips don't work. I've been through so many chip clips. Okay, these ones don't work particularly well either,

but there you go, just in case anyone was wondering. Well, look, it's a world we need a good chip clip. Yeah. Yeah, we need to be able to rely on a chip clip doing, it has one job. No, we need to be able to rely on a chip clip doing it has one job. No, you had one job. So Luke, meanwhile, he's finally decided to give up on his costume. So he's walking around the house going like, Oh my God, I am dying. Oh, get this off of me. Oh, God, get off. Oh, no. And they just keep cutting back from people parting to loop complaining about being hot. It's weird. It's a

weird moment that she has. And then Lindsay is doing, you know, her clamp on Austin in the pool. And she goes, I told him, I don't give a fuck. And he's like, yeah, I can make out with you right now. But like, not for everybody. I go, ah, she goes, I don't give a fuck now because yeah, then I don't give a fuck either. And, and she's like, I mean, how's it going with Sierra? And he goes, well, I mean, you know, I mean, she's asked to talk like a couple of times, clinging stage five, clinging her, am I right?

She's so fucking crazy. And then, first I was like, well, no, she has it. You've come up to her and started these conversations, okay? But then she ruins it because she walks right up. And she's like, can we talk? She really does. But you forgot a really important part, which is Carl saying, hey, I'm on page.

I think I'm gonna order pizza. Yeah. That's a really good point. The episode, it'm at a page. I think I'm gonna order pizza. Yeah. That's a random point. Just a little more point. The episode, it's the point. Yeah, let me get started. We're gonna start the pizza plot right now. Okay, great.

So now is the part where Lindsay is upstairs with Dan, Danielle, and she's blue, trying her hair dancing sexy. And Danielle's just going, oh my goodness. Wow, Lindsay, wow, so sexy. You are so meant for this entire theme, Lindsay. I'm obsessed with that. And then now Austin and Sierra find themselves in the kitchen together and Austin's like,

what the fuck? He always comes on so aggro when he talks to women. It's like, it's's like it's really intense. And Sarah's like, well, what do you mean, what the fuck? He goes, I mean, just tell me what the fuck? Tell me what is it you want to talk to me about today and then she goes, oblige, just, yeah, I'm gonna marry Jay O'Blaige.

And I was like, I hate that that made me smirk a little bit because that's such a joke I would make. I was like, I hate that. I hate that I also of made me smirk a little bit because that's like such a joke I would make. I was like I hate that. I hate that I also made a made a ben joke. You know, we're divorcing. This is over So then I'm having to showing people how to do squats in the yard Reminding them this is my wedding work. Yeah, I'm getting married you guys And then Sierra's like listen, I don't want to feel like I'm in the middle Marry a new guy. And then Sierra's like, listen, I don't want to feel like I'm in the middle, like I don't want you to feel like you're in the middle of Lindsey and I just because you're in the middle of Lindsey and I. So like, I just don't know where we

stand. I just want to know, am I going to be still attracted to a piece of shit douchebag or am I going to have to move on to a different piece of shit douchebag? That's all. Meanwhile upstairs, Lindsay is still dancing and Danielle is like, yes, Lindsay, if I were you, I would move like that the whole time. It's so sassy. Oh my god, Lindsay. She's like so austin through you and the pool. She's, I'm, no, like, came through me so much in the pool that I started like sneezing because I am like a water in my mouth. I love the phrase, he threw me so much in the pool. Do you remember telling me over there that you guys met out already? And she goes, yeah, but what do I do about that? And she's Daniel's like, was it just once?

No, he was me now with me like more. I can't tell what's going on because I was thrown so much in the pool and sneezing. I was pool sneezing. But wait, oh my God, love that you still have the hairdryer. That's so sexy. Now how many times did you make out exactly? I don't know, like, I don't get back to you on that!

Was it more than one, though? It was more than one, right? God damn, y'all, you're so fucking ham-handed! Oh my god! So then downstairs, Sears, like, do you like me? Do you not like me? Was Vermont Vermont? Do we leave that in the past? Like, also, like, she said she loved you in Vermont, and you guys were supposed to be together, like, do you like me? Do you not like me? Was Vermont Vermont? Do we leave that in the past? Like also, like she said, she loved you in Vermont and you guys were supposed to be together,

like, what's going on? Like, what's up? I don't know if she said that, if she said that to us, but these are the pressing thoughts in the Z.R. as brain at the moment. And yeah, she says, she told me that she told you that you guys were like supposed to be together. And you were supposed to be the one with her.

Like, that's weird if you were like, to go sleep in her bed. So, like, I feel like there's this tension between me and her, and she doesn't want to like me hanging around you, and it's like a problem. So, like, and he's like, oh, fuck, fuck. This whole time, he's been going fuck,

mouthing fuck to the cameras. Like, look at this one, asking me these questions. So, he's like, so so how do you feel about the fact that like today? Lindsay kissed me on the mouth. And she shrugs like kind of mad and he goes, oh go ahead, tell me to fuck off, I love that. Because he wants, he wants her to say that's the way he can like get, you know, extricate himself from this love triangle, you know,

that way he doesn't have to be the bag. He wants her to be crazy. And she's like, why, like why should I say that? So you can go and do whatever the fuck you want. And he goes, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, just why are you giggling? Because you made me giggle, Celine. And she's like, so you made out today was it,

was I under vicinity, when was this? And he goes, yeah, I mean, who cares? You do, obviously, because you just fucking told her. So she's standing right next to the knife block, by the way. Which I was like, ma'am, do I have to point out props to you? So Sierra's like, do you like the Lindsey Kistu on the mouth? And Lindsey, he's like, Lindsey and I will probably kiss each other on the mouth for the next 25 goddamn years.

Know what I mean? And nothing's gonna change that. So for me, it's not like that. I don't think it is for a... This whole weird thing they keep doing this entire episode with, we kissed on the mouth. No, you're making out with Lindsay constantly. It's not like we kissed on the mouth instead of cheek kissed Yeah, it's a weird thing that they he keeps changing it to like she's just mad because we kissed on the mouth and not that You're making out you made out and Yes, and Lindsey has expressed that she has like real feelings for Austin, and then Austin goes and he does this whole Prince Charming thing in Vermont.

He woos, he actively pursues Sierra, and you know, Sierra is into him. He doesn't tell Sierra that he's like not over things with medicine, and then he says that Madison is not part of his life life and he's texting with Madison. And then he comes and visits and then he takes Sierra to the room and try it. It literally tells her like get naked. I want it to you off from like front to back. Really like suggesting like yeah,

we have this chemistry like the shit is going on between us. And then today he acts like she's crazy that she might feel something, you know? It's like he's such a... Well, he's doing the exact same thing to her that he did to Lindsay, which is like make her think the whole time that you're coming there, you know,

to be with her and then turn it on your head and wait for you to lose your shit so he can have an excuse, you know? Yeah, so he doesn't invest it or whatever. So Danielle and Lindsay back to them, Lindsay's like, do the Austin is a guy and Ollie Kyrisman is getting late and fucking people No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's my birthday. So, you know, that's going in a great direction. Commissars, here comes one right now.

So then Sierra is like downstairs. She goes like, if that's what you guys want to do, okay, fine. And he's like, I didn't say that's what we want to do. God, you're insane right now. She's like, well, I like you, and I just wanna be like the only one kissing you. And you know what, I will ask you, and he's like, so instead of hearing anymore,

he just goes over to hug her to shut her up. And he kind of wraps himself around her as if she were walking in a city street and a newspaper blew onto her chest. Like it sort of has that like sad enveloping energy. It's like, don't ask. I don't ask. And she's like, how do you feel about me? Oh my

God. Why are you still even having this conversation? This is sad at this point. Like this guy is such a fucking asshole. Such a fucking asshole. So he's like, oh my gosh, seriously, I think you're amazing. I think that you and I have amazing times together. I think that you and I do all the things we check, all the boxes. I mean, what?

Now she checks all your boxes. Get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, get the, take a break. I think the problem is that he's checking too many boxes, if you know what I'm saying. So then Sierra is like, okay, cool. And he goes, I feel very strongly about you.

I do, which is like, again, it sounds like he's about to fire her. Like, I was like, we just don't, I just don't know if we need this position or accompany anymore. So then people come inside and so he jumps to the other side of the kitchen, you know? Because he he doesn't want to be seen telling her something like that otherwise you won't look fucking crazy So then Luke is whispering to some random girl

That party that was pretty poppin tonight, right and she's like, oh, I mean, I don't know Melon it. Yeah, it's Luke killing it. There was some creep dressed like the mad hatter and it was like really disturbing. Hey, that was me. Oh, bye. So Oliver is leaving, but Maya's like, I mean, are you gonna take my numbers? You can call me later. He's like, oh yeah, I'll be just your hope, Saul.

And then Danielle and Robert are in bed and he's ordering food and she's like kissing all over him. And she's like, you smell like a freedo. Just just ate some. I hope somebody is writing this down. I, I, we are. We're the ones who are running it down, but they probably have the best relationship on this show Let's be honest So um guess what? Hey guys the piece of still being prepared god Keep me up light I'm not be able to wake up roll it but make my bed with this pizza taking so long Just feel very vulnerable So man then page are doing the download of the party and They're like, it's crazy. Like, you were in one place and then I was in another place.

And we just saw so many, like, same situations, but also so many different situations. And Amanda, does she have contacts in her something that are made of? Yeah, she's got black contacts. So, but like, she's still in her black contacts and also lash. Her head that do bro-wise. But then she's in, she's not in costume anywhere else. So she just looks oddly terrifying.

And she really does. So they're talking about Lindsay and Austin and everything and being together and pages like, you know what, I have plenty of guy friends and I'll tell you I've never straddle them in the pool. I mean, sure, I found them how, found out a way so that they could dress for less, but like never straddle them. And like, we can say that's just Lindsay, but as an outsider looking in and a very well-dressed party,

often Lindsay in the pool was more than platonic. Yeah, and Maya comes over. And so Amanda starts questioning her about Oliver. And she's like, did you hear Maya said when she walks up, she goes, I just sat in a course light. So I apologize for the view. At least I think that's what she said. Even if that's not what you said, I like it. I like it. So Amanda's like, um, Cindy, I think it was cute. You can find him attractive. Did you have a good conversation? Can you see him fathering your children? Is he gluten free?

Which has sprinklers in the front yard or a rain system? Stop me at any point. This is the scene where Amanda turns into a mandla vanzant because she tried because now Maya starts to feel bad about herself So Amanda starts giving this really like facile therapy because Maya Maya feels like, you know, she was, you know, she spent so much of her 20s engaged, like she was engaged from 23 to 28 and like, she was not, wasn't living her 20s like a normal person and Amanda's like, but not Kyle,

you're healing right now, Kyle. And Maya's like, well, I just have to reset my life. not Kyle you're healing right now Kyle and my psychologist is to reset my life and pages like well it's hard to put yourself out there and it's hard to talk to people because you think you might get your heart broken I get it. And Amanda's like but I mean come on like do you love yourself and she goes no I've never loved myself just why why don't you love yourself and she goes no I've never loved myself just why why don't you love yourself um and she's like my therapist always tells me to like make a list of 10 things I like

about myself and I never can find one and a man to guess that's the best to make me feel better wow you can smile. Just himself love for you. Wow. And age goes, okay, here's one. You're 29 years old. Okay, that was a terrible start. I'm sorry. You're like literally elderly. But you have your own business. You live in New York City. You're stunning too. Okay, so, you know, one of them is geographical and one of them is age, but you do have a business about needing cookies

which don't really need to be needed. You know what, I'm just gonna stop this. Love yourself, you're great. Amanda's like, do you not like your own cookies? She's like, yeah, I like my own cookies. So it's like, there it is. There's one thing you like your own cookies. So, Carl and Mackenzie are in the kitchen with Kyle and

Oh, no, Kraus not there yet. Sorry McKenzie's like I'm not gonna lie. I like these snacks in your apartment So I think he's snacking your apartment Wow, God, I love that crackling personality of yours. Hey, hey, I think we have some more of those chips. Here we go. Whoa, whoa, you gotta have gotta kiss me for us. Kiss me without personality, braw. Yeah. So he comes up to kiss her and then like pulls back and she says, why is it like my rat bad? bad and just no just chokes here's some spicy chups or do you want the dill pickle ones wow god so much personality so now Austin and Sierra go into entry his room and close the door behind them and I guess there's another door or something so they close one of the doors and entry goes oh you do realize I'm here right

there's a gash I want you to be here. Okay. So then Paige comes to the open door. And she's like, um, Sierra, Austin, we're going to do cake now. And Austin, like, takes the door and shuts it. Which is so rude. So rude.

And Paige is not having it. She's like, um, don't ever close a door on me. Okay, he goes, well, I just did. Which you think you'd be like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm what didn't realize because I just did. And she goes, okay, first of all, don't ever do this. This is my house. And we're about to do cake. Okay. And he goes, oh, well, I'm a stranger in this house. I'm a stranger. Like the entitlement that Austin has is so through the roof of his not house drives me nuts. It's not your house.

You're not on this show. You were a guest on this show. You fucking asshole. This isn't summer house. Yeah. Well, this isn't so much harm. His ego is, you can see his ego is really grown because he's like, yeah, I was picked to be, I was, you know, in his mind, you can see, he thought, oh, I was picked with Craig

to be on Winterhouse and he probably thinks it's to help that franchise out. It makes him think that he's probably a bigger star than he is and now he feels like he's like the star coming to the smaller show, disgusting. Yeah, he's gross. So she's like, first of all, I'm coming to tell you that we're doing cake for a,

you're a best fucking from do you hear that? Yeah, what was that? That's the storm No, I think it'll text a storm just that rain and did yeah Oh, yeah Sorry everybody, but no, we'll just pretend it's Austin spit That's well. Yeah, that's definitely what it like. And then your ring goes off and it's like alert, Austin spitting right now in your neighborhood.

Like I know, it's just almost knocked down my house. Thanks for the warning. That's spitting your ring. It is really like, it sounds like someone's like a hosing down your window. Yeah. Okay, so anyway, I love rain sound. It's almost as good as oceans

So we're in the middle of a fight. I'm talking about rain. Sorry. So pages like first of all I'm coming to tell you that we're doing cake for your best fucking friend He says call Craig cuz no one fucking cares. I'm like, dude. Oh Yeah, he says I picked it up the second time around. I'm like, what a fucking asshole. Like, it is like, like, why is he so mad at Paige right now? So he's being such a dick because she had the brazenness to stand up to him, to say something, you know,

I was just like, contrary, that's not contrary. Well, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying. So she goes, you know what? I am the last person you're going to fight with. I am the last person you're going to fight with today. Okay. And Sierra is standing between them. And she gets this really nasal scream. It makes it piercing. It's piercing. It's like, no! I'm like, it's a Lindsay. It's a weird scream. And she's screaming, stop. And a page is like, don't try to play me in my own fucking house. You're a fucking loser and everyone fucking knows it.

Don't ever shut the door on me, okay? Let's do cake. It was great. I was like, thank you, Paige. Thank you that finally someone has said the truth about Austin on one of these shows. And also see it, this is where I actually got a note with Sierra because Sierra is doing that thing to Austin

where she's like, shut up, shut up, shut up. In that way, Sierra, you don't even have to, like, the implication is she's telling him, be quiet so that way this gets better. And it's like, you don't have to, that's not your role. Like, you don't have to have that role with him. But it is sort of this thing, like, I have special access to Austin.

I have a special way of coming down this animal right now. And like, you know what, he is an animal and you don't have to be the one that tries to, to civilize him to make him palatable for everyone else. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but to be, to just to give Amanda credit, Amanda was the first one to really give Austin the business on these shows.

Just got to give Amanda credit. I don't give him much credit, but she is the first one who called Austin out on his bullshit. You're right, but this one felt much more satisfying to me. So then happy birthday. Thank you. I'm in my frame, Brittany. Wow. 28 year old overings. Hmm. I'm in my frame, Brittany. Can I help you? Wow.

28 year old overings. Hmm. I'm in my frame, Brittany. Can I help you? Wow. I'm in my frame, Brittany. Can I help you? Wow.

28 year old overings. I'm in my frame, Brittany. Can I help you? Wow. 28 year old overings. 28 year old overings. 28 year old overings. 28 year old overings.

28 year old overings. 28 year old overings. 28 year old overings. 28 year in my inframed brimmy cap. Wow, 28 year old overings. So then Sierra goes up and apologizes to Paige for Austin's behavior, which is so ridiculous. Like, it's like, I just, I feel bad that Sierra puts herself in this position where she feels like she has to be the one to translate. Like Austin does not need, like you don't have to do this. Like Austin is the jerk here. You don't have to be his, you know, his convoy or envoy or whatever boy.

So, uh, page is like, oh my god, like you don't have to apologize, you know, and like you absolutely not the last person has to apologize at all. Like who cares? And pages like, you know what? Austin came in and did a bait in Switches era. And like in, in, in, in Vermont, that was like a representative. Like he sent a representative. But today, this is the real Austin. Um, no, you guys just didn't give a shit when he was doing it to Lindsay. And now you give a shit because he's doing it to somebody you now you give a shit because he's doing it to somebody you care about to me.

That's how it comes. So pages like, well, you could have sex with my dad. I wouldn't expect you to apologize for me. I at least don't have sex with my dad, by the way. And then they serve the cake and there's Lindsay's like, oh my God, there's literally a plan B on the cake. Which is funny because basically Austin treats both Lindsey and Sierra like their plan B.

Oh God. And if you're gonna need it around anyone, it's gonna be him. I thought she said there's literally candy on the cake. No, it was a box of plan B. Oh my God. So Amanda comes over to Patience Sierra and she's like, tell him when were you in Austin talking about? And Sierra's like, well, I asked him about him

and Lindsay and then he told me he kissed Lindsay on the mouth. And Paige goes, what? Yeah. And Sierra's like, Lindsay doesn't give a fuck about me. She doesn't give a fuck about me. Although she doesn't give a fuck and Amanda, Amanda is saying like, guys Austin is the problem here, like Austin is the problem. Yeah, and she's like, I mean, oh my god, let me make out with two girls who both like me in the same weekend, hate each other, gonna be great. He's just awful, you guys. And Seara's like, well, I mean, I'm like, even if you dated him,

you just like, it's not like you can still make out. Like, what the hell? She has Austin doesn't care about the messy leaves behind. Austin doesn't give a shit about Seara and he doesn't give a shit about Lindsay. There's the truth right there, no lies detected. So Austin, Austin meanwhile wants to go out out about in the Hamptons with Lindsay. And so he's trying to get out with Lindsay. And then meanwhile Carl and McKenzie are like sitting off in the sidelines. And McKenzie, you know McKenzie wants to be sitting there in the kitchen watching all this. She wants to be in all the talk, all the gossip, but she has to pretend like she doesn't because Carl's you know, being like good and he's like, and she's like, what's going on over there?

Y'all are so much drama. Yeah, I don't care about drama at all, but maybe we can move like a little bit closer. No, I'm good right here. Okay, that's cool. And outside Lindsay is behind the bar with Carl and Sierra's there now. She's like, Lindsay, can we talk? She's no fun! Absolutely not! And like won't look at her because she's just like doing busy work pretending that she's not affected by all this but she's so, you know, so Lindsay, right? Yeah, I'm not in the mood. No, absolutely not. And so, and then Austin tries to now go and have a conversation with Paige. So he goes, this is the good way.

This is a really good way to sort of like patch things up. Paige, what the fuck? What the fuck? Oh my God, what is wrong with this person? And she goes, yeah, I mean literally, what the fuck? Because I didn't say anything to you this entire weekend. I didn't ask you anything. I didn't bring up anything.

And he's like, oh, and obviously your frustration's coming through in spades. And you reminded me of a few times that I'm a stranger in the house. So that's okay. That's okay that you did that to me. You are fucking, this is not your show. Go home. You letharie piece shit, good for nothing. Go ask your parents for money for a flight home.

And she goes, I didn't say you're a stranger, but you are a guest, so act accordingly. Which I don't know if often understands the concept of acting accordingly. So Sierra, meanwhile, still drop, like now I'm like Sierra, you just gotta, you just gotta drop it first of night. But she's like, we can do it now. Let's have this conversation and get it over with.

Well, there's zero talk that I wanna have. I wanna be good night tonight, and this is really already too much. And she's like totally fucking agree, but listen, she's not my problem, not my problem, not my problem. And Sierra's like, but it is your problem. We all live in a house together, so it's your problem. Not my problem. Linsie, just talk to people. I mean, it's your birthday, but to talk to people.

I talk to everyone all the time. Not my problem. Not my problem. Hmm, great then. Let's chat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no And she's like really Lindsay really you want to go like walking a circle like after you've been addicted to me all fucking weekend And I was like well come down She's like you made it clear that you're like being a dick all weekend And now you want to walk into a shed when clearly there's nothing in the shed Lindsay how goes ah It's not a shed. It's definitely a grouch It's not a shed. It's definitely a grash

She's been fucking avoiding me all weekend and I'm trying to be so fucking nice like but disregarding me to the fullest Like kissing like kissing Lindsay on the lips and like talking about how he's gonna like sleep in her bed Which is like not the case at all if like you want to be a sucker ass bitch then cool be one So then Danielle is running into Tatl-tail. Right. She's like, no one calls my friend a sucker ass bitch. So then Austin and Paige, back to Austin and Paige, Austin's like, I didn't come in your ass like, this is my house. And she's like, I didn't say that. If I get a door slammed in my face, I will go up one

side of you and down the other side. He's like, page, but page. And then Lindsay walks in and she's like, oh, why are you so, she doesn't even get to finish what you're saying because Paige already knows like she's not gonna deal with Lindsay. So she's like,

and you're coming after me too, okay? If anything, I stuck up for you out there, okay? Remember when you were making out of the Austin and I just sort of went, huh, that was pretty big for me. And then Yelts Storms and he goes, Lindsey, I love you and I want you to have the most peaceful birthday in your entire life. But if she calls you a sucker ass bitch, either you settle it or Idle it. Oh, you're terrifying. Wow Daniel By the way, we should also give Lindsay some props for managing to get her way out of the pool house like I just was imagining She just would get stuck in there for hours

We're like, well, I get out of here. I don't get it. Then we're gonna come after me. No So Danielle is like this is like Lindsay's Super Bowl She loves her birthday and she's planted to a tee. And now Sierra wants to talk to her. If she wants to talk to you, she will. But you don't need to call her names over a guy. So even though she's in here trying to start a fight. I know.

You're angry at Sierra for causing drama when you're literally the one who is the most pressed at this moment. Yep. So Lindsay's like, I'm being I'm not doing this. I am not doing this, Lindsay. But I'm in. I just don't know. I'm not doing this. Page loses it and screams and walks out of there.

And McKenzie's like, I'm not going in there. I just don't want to be like the ones walking. So like, let's walk through the room and watch it slowly. One of our walking to another room. Come on. Y'all so great ball. Boy. So then, uh, so then they're like, Lindsey's like, don't walk away. And bitch goes, oh, what you walk away on the time.

Okay, watch me fucking walk away and look great while doing it, knowing that I paid half price for this entire outfit. You're welcome. Okay. Well, you're the one who's wrong. And she goes, Lindsey, I don't give a fuck if I'm right or wrong. You know what you did? You're diabolical, bitch fuck you.

So then, I think she turns to Austin and goes, okay, you get dressed. So we're going to go out. So Paige is like, all of this is because of Austin becomes you guys like each other, but neither of you will admit it. And he says, shit to you, this different this year, and no one will fucking say it. So she's like, on a rant right now. And then Carl and Mackenzie are outside. She's like, how many does it make you glad

that like, you're not in this fight? He's like, yeah, yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. Like, oh gosh, this is poor Mackenziei just wants to go in there and throw this. I know she wants to earn herself a spot on the show. She's like, this is my chance that I have to pretend like I'm over it with Carl Because Carl's over it. So then Dan Yell is screaming at Sierra that they're supposed to be yelling at Austin who's right there. He's the problem and she's like, yeah But it's both of them like Lynch has been fighting me all fucking weekend. She's been kissing him on the

lips, telling him she's gonna sleep in her bed. And that's true. But hi, watch Winterhouse. You did this to her all winter. So this is called her revenge. Is it mature? No, but she held a little lot better than you are right now. Well, I mean, I wish I could remember the logistics of this because I feel like Sierra and Austin were starting to have their sparks before Lindsay had actually arrived at the winter house. So yeah, but he had been flirting with Lindsay and calling her in the middle of the night going, yeah, well now like we're finally free.

Like it's the first time that we've been like able to be together because like I'm not with somebody, you're not with somebody. So she came to the house thinking she's going to be with Austin and he comes into the house and immediately goes for Sierra so that when Lindsey comes in, he's like, I mean, come on, man, look, we're just friends. Why are you acting like this, Lindy? And she, instead of even though she went crazy in her own little way, she didn't go crazy on Sierra. Instead, she did her like desperation trying to find someone to bang the rest of the time. Yeah. Well, either way, Sierra should just, you know, like, she should know who the fuck boys are. And she should have, she should have realized that she got that situation relatively harmlessly in Vermont,

and she went back in for more, and it's like, girl, you just can't do that. So, and the funny thing is that Daniela's now doing this whole thing of like, guys, I can't believe you girls are fighting over a guy. I'm like, Daniel, you have fully agitated this situation because you just came running in and be like, she called you a poser bitch or whatever it was.

It's like you are, you're actively pitting the girls against each other and then saying like, this is ridiculous, the girls are fighting right now. So Paige calls Craig immediately, of course, to Gossa. She's like, you want to know what happened? So I came in the way of like, hey, I can't talk because I literally yelled for the first time in my life in her. Yeah, they have a they have a off where she's like, do you want to hear what happened?

Yeah, I want to hear what happened. Okay, let me tell you what happened. I like walked into a room telling me more. Yeah, and then she was like, often slam the door on my face. Whoa. Yeah. And then I blocked it with my arm. Hello with your arm. Yeah, my arm. And then like, like, often slam the door in my face. Whoa. Yeah. And then I blocked it with my arm. Hello with your arm. Yeah, my arm. And then like, he was making up with Lindsay. Whoa, Lindsay. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So then Luke and Kyle and Austin are outside. And Luke's like, what's going on? Boys. Yeah, I was wrapping in there. And Austin's like, two girls.

But no idea what's going on. Transient. I'm playing like like both sides of the fence, like I'd say one thing to Sierra, I'm not a single Lindsay, whatever, bro, whatever. And so Lucas, like, oh, because I was inside, and I heard that you were making out with Lindsay earlier, he's like, oh, Lindsay, I kiss on the lips. So what? So what? And then Lindsay appears and she's's like you fucking idiots. What are you idiots doing? I would like to go out and Luke is like I mean he basis like listen Austin you're acting like a fuck boy And like I've been in that situation okay because I am the president of the fuck boy university So I understand it, but I'm just saying you're acting like it and then Lindsay's just like wants us to be over like We're going out. We're going out and

Lindsay just like wants us to be over like we're going out. Where are you going out? And no one will let Luke finish. So he just stands and starts clapping. He's like, but it's fair to say when you kiss Lindsay on the lips, regardless of whether it's friendship or not. Yeah, I kiss one with whatever, whatever. I thought Lindsay high fives. And Luke is like, but Sierra is all about you, bro.

And when Sierra is all about you,, and when Sierra is all about you bro What I'm trying to say is that even if it's friendly, it still hurts her feelings and then it becomes a problem and everyone can see it Okay, buddy, you know what? Okay, buddy. He's like on it on it, baby You got it fucking on it, baby. He's like don't tell me those shit to go make maple syrup or some shit Go make make maple syrup And Luke comes back and says, well, ghosted on the beach and become a lobster. I love the old maple syrup versus the lobster, you know.

I will see your lame thirsty hobbies with O. I will raise you with a sun-damaged aging frat boy comment. And I actually have to hand it to Luke on that one. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, if someone says, yeah, we'll go make maple syrup. I'm like, okay, I sure I actually would love to do that next. Looks like we'll get sun-damaged then. We'll get more than that. We'll get more than that. We'll get more than that.

We'll get more than that. We'll get something delicious that we can all enjoy as a household. How about that? Yeah, go work on your leather face some more then. Go for that. How about you go learn beekeeping and come back with fresh honey, the type you can't get in the stores as so delicious that everyone wants. I want you to do that, Luke. So Lindsay's like, we need to go out and guess what? They're going to dig their own grain. And also like, let's get some lips right now. So they make out right then and there. Cause like have sex, have sex.

And often it's like, I don't want to be with these people. I'm so obnoxious in so many different ways. So then, Dan, y'all is now with all the other girls in the kitchen. And she goes, this is what I said. I said Lindsay, you guys have made out multiple times today. And I'm pretty sure it was multiple times because I specifically asked her five times if it was multiple times.

Mm-hmm. And then they're like, when are she is drawing Lindsay right under the bus? Yeah. And Paige is like, what fucking nerve do you have to walk into this house and play two girls? I mean, Austin has also been making it with Sierra today. And Daniel's like, what?

Did we know that? Did Sierra and Austin make out today? Are we talking about the actual specific because it was like Austin and Sierra like just at 1am accounts as today? I have no idea, because like I literally like, I'm so grust out. So Daniel's like, what?

And Paige is like, yes, he was making out with her two day. And Amanda's like, oh my god, get him. And then Danielle takes a vodka bottle and starts checking it. Danielle, that's not water. You know that right? Unless they're Kyle, in which case it sort of is. So Lindsay comes in and she's like, I don't know when I'll send them to you, but baby, it's really unfortunate that you would think that I'm a bad at framer. Paige is like, well, that's what I heard though. And she was, well, I'm so sorry that you would think that I'm that bad of a red. You literally are. What are you

talking about? You're being a total asshole. I'm keeping this mostly on Austin But let's not pretend that Lindsay's not being a total fucking asshole. Now am I total in total agreement with Lindsay's Revenge plan. Yes, I am but coming in and doing this whole like Acting like I'm not a good friend. You're a terrible friend, you're a terrible friend. And she's like, but you're not contorting me, controlling me. She said, confront, she did. Oh, confront me. Confronting me is one thing, but you and she was, but I did.

I confronted you right now. She was, no, that wasn't confronting me. That was accusing me. And Paige is like, oh, okay, I'm wrong. You're right. You're always right. I'm always wrong And Lindsay screaming I've been nothing but a good friend. I'm always a good friend You're right. I'm on good or best friend. You're always right and it's just to put just Lindsay over the edge It's so funny. I page is like, I suck up for you all fucking weekend. And you know what, I regret it. I said Austin is playing both of them.

And I regret it. I regret it right now, which is, well, why is that on me? And then all the girls like, it's not on you. So I'll go up to kind of like take her shoulder like Lindsey listen, she goes, everyone get off of me. Yeah. You're aging my eggs. So then Lindsay's like,

Paige, let's go outside. And Paige is like, I don't want to go outside. She's like, what is this an anime? She's like, well, then it's not on me. Then apologize. Oh, I love how Lindsay wants to go outside and talk now. No. When she won't go outside and talk about Sierra.

It's like Lindsay won't talk about something real. So only talk about some fake bullshit she doesn't care about. So I'm at it's like, you're wrong, Lindsay. You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. And so Paige is still screaming. I said he's playing you and Lindsay's screaming, why is that on me?

You apologize to me. Paige is like, I did not do anything wrong. I will not apologize. Yeah. I will not apologize. Yeah, she will not apologize. So Paige is like walking away and everything. And Lindsay is like, do I look like a fucking liar? And then Paige is like, sometimes, yeah. So then Amanda is like, do you think it's like,

weird, not Kyle? That Austin is making out with you and Sierra. And she's like, I don't fucking care and Lindsay's like I am a good friend sandwiches to go contract with my helicopter and Amanda's like come down Lindsay and she's like I do not care what Austin does and you think his behavior is acceptable? Yes I do huh so then Paige just just disappears up and up into the bedroom with Maya. And she's like, okay, how's Oliver?

I guess she would talk about Oliver. She'd talk about something boring to cleanse the palette. What do you think? And Maya's like, yeah, we're gonna go on a date. It'll be fun. Walt. Yeah, wait a bring this episode down. She is. So then Sierra's crying because Paige It'll be fun. Walt. Yeah, wait a bring this episode down. Geez.

So then, Sierra's crying because Paige went so hard for her and she's like, I would do that 10 full for her too. And Austin is the dumpster fire. Like, how stable are you? Like, how insecure are you, Austin? And then Maya's like, you guys, should I order a four piece and I That's like Maya's my favorite thing to do is just like get on to postmates

And I know I know I understand it because I am that so then McKenzie meanwhile is like wow this night has taken a turn Yeah, well thanks for hanging out there with us. Guess what the pizza's finally here Yeah, then my my story arc has come to a conclusion, and I'm just gonna feast right now cause I'm starving. Put your pizza on me. Y'all. Carl's out there fucking giant rose.

And then now the cast just home goes to bed and Robert and Danielle are returning late. And Carl and what's her buttons but Kenzie are going to bed. And he's like, do you wanna flip it on Ocean? It's like Ocean Waves. Yeah, I just fall into that Ocean Waves.

They're like really great. It's really really really, really awesome. Put your ocean on me. So then yeah, there's just sort of like good night kind of banter, kind of man to getting to bed. And Amanda's very proud that she made the bed today because she wanted to make him happy. And then now it's like later at night

and Austin and Luke come back and because they went out obviously and looks like, well, dude, it's so quiet in here. And then Lindsay comes back, but she comes back with someone named Luciano, who is not Austin as the chiropran showed us. So after all this, she's going to wind up hooking up with someone else. Yes, she does.

Because that's Lindsay. That's how she produced it. She's not upset about something. She goes and bang some other guy. That's so Lindsay. So then they're boning. And then it cuts between them boning and Luke and Austin arm wrestling I was like yeah, yeah, oh man, like bro, I don't know. It's longer than you bro

And then this guy Luchiano and and Lindsay there having sex then it's over and he's like oh, yeah And then it just ended the episode just for ends. I was like oh Okay, well ends with a very important sound, not only the oh, yeah, but the bravo. And that brings us to the end of some house. That's a great episode. I mean, that entire episode took place over four hours. I mean, normally an episode takes place over a week. So, I mean, we're still not even done with Lindsay's birthday weekend. I mean, who knows? Maybe Alex will show up next week, or maybe we'll just see like a weird blur by the fridge

and just like the corner of some ground turkey packaging at the side of it. Like, there he is. There he is. There he is. Everybody, thanks so much for being with us. We will be back later in the week with Orange County and New Jersey.

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