Watch What Crappens - Summer House: 8 Ding Dongs and a Funeral

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

*This episode has a video recap avail! It's the season finale of Summer House. Will Kyle propose? Will Carl and Paige do the dirty? Will Jordan's penis get its own spinoff? Let's find out! To hear this week's bonus episode catching up with Southern Charm NOLA and Project Runway and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Baltimore, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch Well Crappings! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Bros I'm Ronnie Karam, I'm also from the Rosefrix Bachelor Rose podcast And here I am with Ben Mandelka Of the Real House where as a kitchen island Happy and- Hi, how's it going?

Great Good Glad to hear it great glad to hear it We are doing this video live on crap and fun demand so if you guys want to see videos because on that pump patreon Okay, it's not that hard do it and thank you to everybody who's here today Also, we just announced a new live show it is in say Also, we just announced a new live show. It is in Saint Louis. Yes.

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Also, we are leaving in the next couple of days to go to Milwaukee. There's still tickets available to our Milwaukee show. We're going to be recapping Southern Chum and Milwaukee. So get your butts over there and then the next night we're going to be in Minneapolis for real hospitalized with New York recap. So those will be coming a little bit later in the week, but to make it up to you, we've got an extra free recap this week, and we're doing it today. It's below deck may. Yeah, we're going to be recording that after this, but right now for this episode, we're

talking the season finale of Summer House, Jens. Summer House. That's for sure, our Jens. Hey, Jens. Yeah, Jens, it's a standard summer. I can't believe it's the end of summer I can't have any you summer Friday's comes to take a Fall fall Thursday now. I don't know Yeah, so be sure to go get your tickets for all that good stuff

There's just a few there's like less than a hundred tickets left for New York So if you want to come to New York, okay? There's now okay. They're almost sold out for a second show. We added a second show there a lot of by the way a lot of our I looked at our I looked at our tickets and everything a lot of our shows are like well beyond like like probably only like a third of the theaters were left So like a lot of them look like they could be on the brink very soon. So really don't delay Yeah, and if you want shirts, we've got three limited shirts out this month. We've got a team LVP darling, and we've got a door, Rinda, and we've got to bring me my

medicine, Martini shirt, so go check those out at crappensmershoek.com, and guess what? That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. Yeah. Well, since first and foremost, this was the season finale of Summer House that there will be no reunion,

very angry about that. I have a lot of pressing questions like, did Carl ever get a job or did Carl ever get more pancakes or did Carl really do, did he like get like a scratch and sniff? Like what is Carl up to? I want to know. Your questions are all Carl related.

They're very Carl centric. I'm not going to lie. Very Carl centric. I have like literally no questions. I mean, that's the thing about summer house. I don't think summer house is built to leave us questioning things. It's over.

Right. It's over. He had. He's like another, you know, the summer ends and so does summer house, you know. Yeah. It goes that would later. You know, your body before the next season, you know, that's like a full question. Yeah, what's a awful relationship is Lindsay in right now.

Exactly. What is your emotional, what kind of emotional abuse is Lindsay engaging in these days? Conquiring minds, right guys. I would like to know honestly I really would well speaking of Lindsay's the episode opens up we're in New York City it's Monday and we see Carl pushing a little file cabinet along a sidewalk for Lindsay I was like oh poor Carl he's gonna be sweating so much after this. Yeah, and even this is awkward, you know, it's like, well, let's go over the bump chat. Let's go over the bump chat. So, are you going to be paying me?

I am available on taskrabbit. Yeah, thank you. Welcome to House. Welcome to House. Welcome to House. Think welcome to house welcome to house In the past year I've doubled my clients so that means I've got to know it's amazing I got to talk to contracts now And I talk to contracts and I just hired my first full-time employee and they're gonna be working on a remote office in Christina Gibson's apartment.

Wow, that's so cruel. Like you're gonna hire someone and I'm like right here pushing your file cabinets. It's just like, it's like cruel, you know? You know who you should hire? Snack. That's who you should hire. Snack, Jen.

This is like literally your snack room right now. Yeah. I'm in here, a snack. Yeah, my resume is this. I hear a snack, Jen. This is like literally your snack room right now. Yeah. So I'm in here a snack. Yeah, my resume is this. I'm a snack. Oh. Welcome to Habby House. I feel like that's how I need to enter every room

for the next two weeks. You can make a habit. And then they move on to the only thing anybody really cares about on this show, Poussaisais, okay, or Pien. And she's like, so you might not want to go on, girl. And he's like, uh, well, it's not really about liking her. It's about dying alone and broke.

So she's got a job. And I'm going to try and make this work. I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend, smack. Yeah, like, honestly, I've been thinking about Kristen a lot, and like, I like her a lot, and like, I kind of like, wanna date her, and like, I kind of wanna smell her hair, and like, I kind of wanna check her pancakes, and like, I don't know, like, just be there for her, be the man,

who can be there for her when she needs me to be there for her, on certain days of the week, preferably weeks preferably like Saturday mornings or so. I got her a special cell phone plan that only works Friday through Sunday so that helps. Yeah, I think we have a really great relationship. I think this week it will be a really good time to tell her that I like, I want to be with her. I really just really want to be with her. I mean, I'm not really sure if her name is Kristen or Kristen

and when I think about it, I can't remember what her face looks like, but I want to be with her. Yeah, like it's a great time to ask her because it's like a group party where there's a ton of people around and It's in the same house as the girl that I've been trying to bang like Insistently all season long. So I'm sure she's gonna feel totally comfortable Yeah, yeah, I'm like my best friend is gonna like ask his girlfriend to marry him That's very same afternoon. It's probably make a big presentation So it's like really important for me to do the same thing like right before he does his thing Make sure that all the thunder stolen so Jens will you be my Jens? And Lindsay has a lesson, you know, she's learned her lessons

So she's like, Carl wants to test related to relationship, but I got it because that was me. And like literally five minutes ago until I changed, I learned not to settle for someone. I was like, what did you learn that? I can literally not see you learn that. Yeah. If Payman hadn't gotten mad at you

for like asking what birthday party he was at, you would probably still be with Paymon. Why are we lying? Yeah, and I'm not convinced that you're not with Paymon right now. And I'm also not convinced that you're not also sleeping with Everett at the same time. And if so, you go, girl. I mean, juggling to abusive guys at the same time is, I mean, that's a pretty big deal. That's, yeah.

And she should put them against each other and just let them just kill each other off. Yeah, but they wouldn't. You know she put them together, they just make fun of her the whole time. Yeah, they really would. So then Lindsay's like, oh, cheers to a new girlfriend for a call and he goes, yeah. You're paying for this beer, right?

Yeah, this isn't coming out of what you're gonna be. This isn't coming out of the gig fee, right? Oh, there is no gig. This is for free. I did this for free. Okay cool. Yeah, um, all right great. No pancakes tomorrow That's I got cool cool St. Kyle's on the phone planning his cuz we're in the city obviously still and so Kyle's on the phone Like business. Yeah, R S V P It's gonna be huge, yeah, brah! Cause they're gonna have a party for love a boy.

Yeah, and the big thing is that Amanda's parents are gonna be there, and they don't really like Kyle anymore. So it's gonna be really dramatic, and like, how's it all gonna play out, you know? Yeah, and Amanda's like, my parents are coming Kyle, and the timing's not the best but They're gonna be there to support me and my baby And I'm like I know you're talking about your drink, but I'm glad that they have that outlook already because that's probably gonna be your future Yeah, no thanks. Yeah, I mean I'm sure the prospects for Leather Boy are great. They're totally totally great

So um, so now it's like Tuesday Wednesday and Tricks He started saying she's like, I hope you're ready because it's gonna be a good night Paul, did you get that one? It was good. It was classic instant classic. Paul got a full nurse Yeah, and you can see how much they're really doing in the week because it's like Tuesday Thursday Nothing happens, but thanks to the labels, guys. Yeah, the passage of time, friends font, telling you that there's a change.

So, they're setting up just like the rooftop party for a lover boy and Amanda's parents show up. And basically, Amanda's dad is just staring at Kyle. Like, he wants to toss him off the roof. He's just like giving him this, like, you know, I'm from New Jersey I don't deal with this shit, you know Well, Kyle's also wearing like one of those 80s 80s man suits like

Yeah, it's not a romper, but it's like all math like this colorful baby suit for man I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, and the dad's like a nice outfit That's that fruit loop idiot. So Kyle's like, uh, nice outfit. That's that fruit loop. Idiot. So Kyle's like, I just want to thank you for, I want to thank you for coming. You know, like that really means a lot. And you know, Labor Day has been like an important date for me and Manda. And it's like, it's when we met and then like a year later, we kind of like officialized our

relationship. And then a year after that, I got blackout drunk and made out with a tree stump relationship and then a year after that I got blackout drunk a minute with a tree stump and then a year after that I stuck my dick in a fish tank. The year after that. So basically I want to get married. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. Yeah, I get that. It's bad.

It's like what the fuck? And he goes this Labor Day and he's like yeah you know you know, I know it's bad timing, but I want to ask your blessing He's like I'm just confused how you get from like you screwed up and now you want to ask my daughter to marry you on Labor Day, but the dad seems really hung up on Labor Day by the way. He's like on Labor Day on Labor Day Because that's a day off wedding. You know when people do that, they like have it on the day off. So every time you celebrate their wedding, it's like, oh God, here goes another three-day weekend

celebrating those two. Yeah, and so are Kyle. It's like, I've never been more confident about a decision in my life. I mean, you know, well, I mean, there was bird dogs, that was pretty cool. And lover boys, I'm actually very confident about lover boy. I guess that's, I don't know if that's going to work out either.

But Amanda. Yeah. You know, the straws made out of ice, I was going for it. My investment in Radio Shack, I'm not sure if that was, I was really, I really thought that was going to work out. Radio Shack. He's like, put all my money into the Uber IPA, or public offering. It's like a whoops. No, he probably put his into the Uber IPA or public offering. It's like, uh, whoops.

No, he probably put his money into Uber IPA also. Yeah, Uber IPA. You call it a mix of things. Travis Kalonix. Travis Kalonix on brew. It's great, man. And that's worried that he is just doing this to make up for being an asshole. It's like, oh, I'm sorry, I cheated, but I want to marry you.

Which I can see, you know, it's like, you want to keep your girlfriend so you're finally going to get married or whatever. And Kyle's like, well, I haven't had the perfect past, but Amanda's my partner in crime. And I want to spend my life with her. You know, if we hit a couple of speed bumps, i.e. the gin is on the way to old age so be it so be it is She's gonna be in the car with me you understand the bad's like

Yeah, Amanda's gonna do whatever the fuck she wants without me. Have you seen her nose ring? So just do whatever the fuck you want. What do I get? Yeah? Cos like how did this turn from me throwing you off the building to me throwing myself off this fucking Yeah Cos like two more questions. Um, would you be open to taking on a turtle and also kind of get a thousand dollars for a lover boy. Thanks. Yeah. He's like, well, we're playing the game right now. And if you don't give me your blessing, you

owe me $10,000. It is kind of amazing. Um, so then, so then everyone starts to show up at the party. Oh wait, I'm so sorry. Kyle starts sobbing. Oh yeah. So the dad's like, okay. Ugh. What are you going to do? You have to say, okay, so he just pats him. He's like, it's all right, okay, but he never gives his blessing.

Yeah, exactly. Well listen, you know that dad. He's probably isn't like a garage band with his like fellow, you know 55-year-old You know neighbors in Jersey whatever Jersey support their in yeah, they're doing he's doing a dad band. He's seen his his share of Things so he's like eh, you know, I didn't give scotchy such a hard time with it So I can't give Kyle a hard time with it Yeah, so Jordan, everybody starts to arrive, and then it's just like party. It's like, look, it's a party going, nope.

It's a bigger party. Look, it's a bigger party. I just kept writing notes like something was happening. I know me too. So, Paige is like, I'm currently very single. I'm not interested in dating her all, but seeing him with someone is making me very envious of not having someone. I'm like, well, you're envious of not having someone. You're envious of having someone. Yeah, that's what I mean. Get off my ass.

She's talking back to me in my own fictional version. Corrects me. She's arguing with you about her grammar. If you're going to recap me, recap me properly. So Kyle's like, you start to make a speech. She's like, this is the beginning of what I hope to be a million dollar round for me and Amanda and Love or Boy. And we call it a seed round and it starts with friends So what I'm trying to say is oh you guys are all broke. I don't know why I invited you guys here

Yeah, I know it was all the cast and Amanda's family who ain't giving him $10,000 and then there's one guy who just wants to be on TV Who keeps walking into the shot going I'd love to invest. shot going. I'd love to invest. I know. I'd love to invest. Carl's like, I'd love to invest. Like, we already saw you, OK? Hey, uh, hey, Jen, can I, uh, can I, can I invest with pancakes in any? Is that, is that something that's doable? I'd like to say that I'm here to bring you something very important.

It's a filing cabinet that rolls. So here it is. And inside it. And inside it are $10,000 tree coupons. Here you go. So then the family takes a little selfie and the bad looks like he wants to kill himself. They've got to show red in the face. He is funny. He's furious. I cannot take this No

Also, this is how I want to wake up every day like hey everybody. This is what I call a million dollar round Okay, like how's worse than an improv friend. You know like when you have a friend He's in stand-up comedy or improv. Oh, yes, every day. It's like come to our show come to our show By the way, I can make funny you fuckers because that's basically me. It's like come to our show, come to our show. By the way, I can make fun of you fuckers because that's basically me. Yeah, that's what our podcast has turned into. Come to our show and Milwaukee. Yeah, we do it every day and you know, I'm an improviser and stuff. So I get it. But Kiles like that except the rich version. At least your improv friends, you just have to sit through a shitty show for an hour. Kiles wants $10,000. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's crazy. That's a lot. You make me want to go back to my improv friends.

I just read a whole article this morning about like a gay scammer, this guy who was basically meeting guys through like through grinder and Tinder, whatever apps and was then like conning them. And I just it just it just firmed my resolution to never donate money to people Well, no, but it just in general because he he did that thing I mean, you know Ronnie we encountered someone like that was very shady a shady con artist type and it just was like No, no, you're never allowed to open up. You can't get my credit card information and I'm not giving I'm not giving you $10,000 No way Yeah, you know that and that goes back to your instincts. You know, if someone seems like a shitty person,

most likely they're a shitty person, you know? Yeah, I actually don't, but I don't think Kyle's a con artist. But I do question lover boy. I do. I do. I'm sorry. Mainly because I just don't like. I think it's lovely, honestly.

I think it's one of the better things because it looks good. And it's like, can't wine, right? Yeah. Everybody loves that. Yeah, everyone likes it. likes it and it has like cute graphic design which I'm guessing it's just not my type of beverage that's all me it's just not my type of beverage that's what I'm saying that's all I'm saying drinking when we go out of town I've noticed that there's a lot of those canned wines and I've been drinking them and I normally don't even drink it is lover boy wine I thought it was something like a fruity like berry like a red bull kind of thing and you know I can't really can't stand red bulls

So that's alcoholic So it's like so if it's canned wine, I'm open to can wine God we don't even know what it is Which let me just know it's a beverage from Bravo. It's a candy bar Is it a snicker bar that's been pureed with rosé? Let me see right now, so we don't do this dirty, okay? I know, now I feel bad, now I feel like I'm sabotaging his attempts to like make a living. Oh, for Christ sake, he's on summer house, he's sabotaging it.

Okay, love her boy is a sparkling hard tea with zero sugar, naturally sweetened, and made from organic ingredients. Oh, so it's a sweetened hard tea. Oh, I actually would like that. Yeah. Look at the journey I just went on. Yeah, from love to hate. You just got on a whole full ton of yelp reviews.

I just went from hate or boy to lever boy. Okay, so let's see. Friday, take me home so we can dance alone Take me home so we can dance alone Do not ever try and dance with me alone at home. I'll fucking break up with you on the spot, okay? I I thought the lyrics my interpretation of the lyrics were take me home so we can talk some more some more. Kyle, take me home so we can Kyle. So we see that you cars Kyle imagine Carler and one and Jordan Page and Hannah and the other and there's a coffin in the back seat just taking up the whole car.

And they make jokes like, we're gonna say our aunt passed away if we can cop with this coffin, we're wacky! This is a show that just loves props. It's a show. So they put a lot, and the thing that's funny is that they really put the onus on the cast

to deliver the props. You know, I feel like other shows, production just sort of like arranges the props for them, but you're like, no, no, you guys have to find the props and buy them and transport them. You have to do it all You have to do all the work. Okay, we have a limited budget. We've fired the prop department Yeah, it's definitely a high effort show. I mean just be like Vanderpump rules You know if you need to get things going just fuck your best friend's boyfriend on the couch really sleeping You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean like they have like all those boxes

that are constantly being shipped to the house that they have to haul in. I mean they're essentially stars and PAs. There's a lot of lifting going on. There really is. So yes, they've got this big coffin and Paige is like sitting next to it and she's like, God, what this coffin so loud.

Ugh. Yeah. It's like my outfit is inspired by a rich widow who may or may have not killed her husband. Sounds like your future because I can totally imagine that as a page story line in the future. Hannah's like minus inspired by channels! Yeah! Hey, um, I would like to celebrate the death of Carrie what my dad thinks hold on let me call and ask him what he thinks about that

That Dad it's me. I just wanted to say love Dennis Boy, yeah, I like to celebrate the death of love and that is a tennis term because I just scored 15 love 15 love So Carl and Carl are like bro, let's talk and pretend like we're taking stuff out of the trunk It's gonna be crazy cuz a cabo all right Well, you know, I got a ring and I'm gonna hide it and I don't want to let her see it

You know like the dad didn't say no, but he didn't say yes like damn it Like I don't even know what's gonna happen now. I was like I think that was a no. Yeah, I'm like I Thought by three seasons of being on the brink of being renewed by Bravo you'd be used to these situations Yeah Go ahead Bravo you'd be used to these situations. Yeah, that's a no but go go ahead. You guys go for YouTube YouTube kids be happy. So So the girls are like some of the girls are in the kitchen. They're like oh my god Group hug we made it to the drive of the Ravig group hug and cross the aya. Can I get it on this?

Can I get in like no call no? Come on. Wow Wow, but can't believe you drive me a hug on the last day that I'm gonna be a No Wow Wow Can't believe you'd die me a hug on the last day that I'm gonna be a Man without a girlfriend, you know, I'm saying oh god. I almost let it out. Oh god Last time I'm gonna be single and ready to mingle okay Get your chances now your chances now. Someone by the way someone support other women. Wow Bethany wow wow I'm

Ageless just like my daughter Avery. Someone by the way someone tweeted this is a sidebar someone tweeted an awful awful rumor. It was on I think we are the blurb.com that the rumor is that real house doesn't New York is getting a cash shake up and that like Ramona and Luana are on the chopping block. This is bullshit. Okay, here's why it's bullshit. First of all, I understand Luana because she's having legal problems and she's becoming a liability for the show and I also can understand that Ramona and Luana are probably like such pains in the asses

for production, but I'm sure so is everyone else in that cast. And I know and they said, the article said sources say that Ramona's storyline has run out. No, it has not. It has not run out. Ramona needs to be there. She has been wonderful in her awful way all this time. And furthermore, since when is it okay to like take out to fan favorites,

although Luanz always up and down with fan favorites, but still like major personalities, when we have to sit and watch Beverly Hills and watch Kyle Richards jog around her backyard and go to the supermarket in her go cart. Like and that counts and she doesn't get fired. No, no, no. File, fire Kyle Richards before you've even come close to the real house as a New York

cast. Well, they won't fire Kyle because Andy loves Kyle. She's a huge kiss ass. She threw his baby shower thing for him. Also, she's the only OG left because Lisa Vanderpump's out. Well, who knows, but she told the Daily Mail mail today Most likely in all probability I won't come to the reunion. They've made it impossible for me to Oh, that's ridiculous of Lisa. That's ridiculous. Yeah Lisa. Come on. Stop being such a worse Well, because it's a lot to work and we still don't really know if Vicki is full-fledged cast member because now They're saying that she wasn't there for the group photo for Orange County So yeah, I heard from my friend at entertainment weekly is full-fledged cast member because now they're saying that she wasn't there for the group photo for Orange County. So...

Yeah, I heard from my friend at Entertainment Weekly that he's just a friend of and she wasn't at the cast shoot and she's not going to be in the opening credits. But then Vicki commented on, I think an Andy birthday post or something and someone said, Vicki, the rumor is you're not on next season, you're just a friend of and she said don't believe the rumors I would never just be a friend Hmm, but you know, if he's not you know what I just feel like her true saying I'm like I feel like there's a disturbance in the force and I'm just I'm not happy with any of these rumors I feel like bravo should be focusing on resurrect like making Beverly Hills better New York as great as it is So don't fuck with it maybe okay maybe get rid of Barbara I mean Barbara's fine but like don't but like don't touch Ramona

you don't touch the Morgan letters and you don't touch Ramona and Luana on this show I'm sorry. You don't touch Sonia or D'Aurinda for that matter or Bethany honestly Yeah, so we'll see time will talk. I don't even know what to say about it. You only spoil other monets, right? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle.

And we're the host of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So back to Summer House. Yeah, so they're trying to get this coffin inside, and it's too big, and Carl's like,

it's so big, I don't even know if we're gonna get it in-gense, and Jordan goes, that's literally what she said. Literally she said that, I was like, so the other day I was eating some coffee yogurt and it turned out it was not made with coffee beans, but actually magic beans and next thing you know, my penis was growing so huge it burst out of my pants, couldn't even fit in her and she said, it's too big, that's literally what she said. It's crazy. I was hiking and I found this little cabin in the woods. And so I went in.

And there was this girl there. She was so hot. And she said, your penis is too little. And then she played with it a little. And then she said, now your penis is just too medium-sized. That's too big and then she played with it some more and she said this penis is just right. So then she swallowed it and her grandma came and cut her stomach open to get it out and have some for herself. I mean it was just crazy. It literally happened like that. It was so

gruesome. I'm so glad that I have connections with the robotic penis reattachment agency. They were able to get it back up and working and better than ever if I do say so myself. Oh, Jordan. So Jordan is making a really, Jordan's making an effort here at the end of the season because he's just been compulsively lying the entire season.

Yes. So he's like, guys, guess what we're going to do. The newbies are having a chef come make dinner. How about that? Ladies and gentlemen, Emerald Legosi. No, Jordan. So. So.

So. So. The name is Julia Child. Well, it's just going to be here today. She's dad Jordan I Think I think she's dad the former former co-host of the great British Bake Off. Hello ladies. No, no So yes, so the three newbies are gonna be hosting a little garden party situation and Everyone's getting ready Jordan sold the girls hair dryer dryer which I don't know why I wrote that down but I was just like Jordan

it's so Jordan who says I can't get my penis hard watch be like that's a hair dryer Jordan why did you steal my hair dryer no I built this in home at class so so the chef arrives and Carl sees the chef and he goes, do I smoke a chef? I'm rude. That's like, also like, who says that? Do I smoke a chef? Oh, are you getting at any fruit samples by your chance? I'm having a rough patch at work.

So then, so Lindsay puts on this. I don't know what you call those sort of dresses. They remind me of like Lilith Fair They're kind of like highly pattern and like baggy and loose, you know So she puts this on and Danielle just looks at her like huh Do you know what like maybe you should put on a belt looks like a little bit like maternity wear without a belt Lindsay's like So you just think it's like a one-off moment,

but then they, then everyone starts like converting downstairs in the kitchen, and then Hannah starts grinding up on Lindsay. It's like fun times, fun times, fun times, and Hannah goes, by the way, I have a belt if you want one, do you want a belt? He's like, who's the primeest chef in Wardsland Bell? It did not understand that logic, the way did not you don't I know chef to make you dinner and wear a belt Because she means like Thanksgiving when you're loosening your belts, you know, you want to pick out Yeah, but that implies that Lindsay's gonna pick out what she wants Well, but she's like one of those skinny girls. She's like look how much I eat like every time Bethany

Like I once ever ever since Bethany was accused of having a eating disorder every time they show where she's like one of those skinny girls. She's like, look how much I eat, like every time Bethany, like ever since Bethany was accused of having a eating disorder, every time they show where she's like, look at me eating popcorn. Yeah. I mean, yeah. It's delicious. Look at this. OK, I'm going to order 20 things off the menu.

You got that camera? Yeah. All right, we're going to have the pepperoni pizza and we're going to get the cat and Mary. And let's also do the hummus. And let's just get a whatever the bus boy's eating for lunch. Whatever he had on his lunch break, let's get one the hummus and let's just get the, whatever the bus boys eating for lunch, whatever he had on his lunch break, let's get one of those two.

Actually, you know what, give me a cow's own with one of those little metal catch-up or just baked inside of it, because actually some crazy bitch did that last year, but it actually was delicious. It was great, it was like a fortune cookie, except like much more dangerous for your teeth. So anyway, so Paige and Carl sit down next to each other at this, uh, at the

table outside, and they have like a moment where she's like, he's like, high page. Hi, Carl. How are you today? I'm great, Carl. How are you? I'm great, thank you very much. I'm wonderful time right now. Thank you.

And Hannah's like, you're like divorced parents. And, uh, she's like, ah, yeah, we're just doing it for the kids. Yeah. She's like, you know, Carl, I had a great time this summer. We just weren't meant to be. You know, the only thing I probably regret is that Carl doesn't know how to work our cell phone on a Wednesday. Or that even has one.

So, Hannah's like, all right, here's our speech. We just like wanted to thank you guys because like this summer has been like Everything's been like all that in a bag of chips or whatever Ratchet Ratchet and Jordan's like um this has been incredible Like you guys have really taught me like who I am and Like where I come from so thank you I'm like what well my story begins my story begins 17 years ago when I was born I landed in the

barn in the back of my parents house they adopted me I come from another planet some might say it's called Krypton it's's actually called Bonertown. And we've, I've learned that I am not allowed to achieve a boner until I'm 31. In which case my boner will take over the world and all the women will become slaves to it. That's just my truth. So thanks for listening guys. And Danielle's like, what, who are you? I still haven't even fucking know who you are. Okay. That's like what half the gas is saying to Danielle, Wait, who are you? Are you in our cast?

So then they all start getting wild and Hannah put some lemons in a boobies and Carl's like, it's like Lindsay's fake boobs Except they're very useful for something. My right guy. Except they're next to each other. Am I right everyone? And everyone's by the way everyone's Complementing pages tablescape they're like you did a great job page and Hannah's like yeah There are a lot of oranges and pages like hmm their lemons Please don't associate yourself with me

When they make fun of Lindsey's boobs she's like It's like a lamb being born too early, I don like they all do it. I feel like they all start going They all make fun of her Do you want to belt shut the fuck up? So now it's dancey time they're dancing all over the house before they go out. And they're like, when's it them? They're going out and then they're home again. Well, I actually love to when they during the dancey time, our Carl was lying on his bed, and Lindsey comes running in and jumps on Carl, and, oh. It's like, jam, jam, jam, jam, jam.

Exactly how I would expect Carl to have a mighty gaffal. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Jents, oh, Jents, that was good, that was good. So it's 2.30 in the morning, they're coming back from going out. They're 10 second montage of going out. And there's like a sprinkler going off and it keeps hitting people and Jordan's like

That's the what has have gone all summer and you just know production is like you know what? No, this is done. No, let's not let's not request a reunion. Let's just end this. Let's end this now So then we see it's 4.16 in the morning and Carl's just pacing around his room like a chicken He's doing this thing like it's got his like chicken wings out. Yeah, it's just an it's 4.16 in the morning and Carl's just pacing around his room. Like a chicken. He's doing this thing like, it's got his like chicken wings out. Yeah, it's just in his underwear like, yeah, packing around the room. Just what a team. Just what? Because they partook at a little cocaine, yeah.

So they- I just want to make sure this very antiseptic room is ready for my future girlfriend. Stephanie to come. Steph Stanya, Tony, waiting for Johnny, waiting for Johnny, wait a minute, it doesn't sound right. Maleficent, Maleficent. Oh, I think we're Maleficent. Candida, Candida, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, It's my barrier name. Whistler, Whistler Resort.

It's her name, Whistler. Just waiting for snack, all right? So he's pacing around and does he call Paige? Because I wasn't sure. It looked like he had a phone in his room. Yeah, it looked like he texted Paige or something because then Paige is in Miss Hanna, but she like jerks up and reaches for her phone.

And I was like, oh, because they made a little ding sound. They made it, yeah. Maybe she just woke up. She's like, oh, because they made a little ding sound. She just texted. She just texted. Maybe she just woke up. She's like, oh my God, I just thought of a great idea to address her last right now. So she wakes up and then goes upstairs and knocks on the door and it's like,

Hey, Carl. And it's a commercial break. Like, what's gonna happen? Page and Carl finally gonna have a big time hook up. And then it comes back and she's's like do you have a charger? That was a good shady edit. You have a charger, Carl. He's like, I do, Jack.

It'll charge your jet in less than 10 hours. And she's like, thank you. Thanks, Carl. And he's like, what a tease. Oh. Thanks Carl and he's like what a tease She's like thanks Carl for this this aftermarket charger that's clearly gonna catch fire when I plug it in thanks Carl Glad to see you can't spring for the actual Apple brand and charger Carl Hey, I'm trying It's been a tough summer for me. Okay. I lost my first charger and

Hey, I'm trying. It's been a tough summer for me. Okay, I lost my first charger and found myself alone in an amaca station and one thing led to another and here's the charger. So he's like, what a tease. The neat tells us, I want to see things where I think, I want to see where things go with Kirsten and I'm not going to let Paige get in the way of that. Like, yeah, totally your choice. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

So, uh, now it's the next morning and, um, Amanda is just like shaming Hannah. This is like, that's like the best, the best way to start your day. It's Amanda shaming your English muffin. Cause she's like, uh, Hannah, did you even toast that? Cause apparently Hannah's eating a untosted English muffin with butter on it, which admittedly is very strange and I actually don't support it at all. How people, so anal, white people.

Well, you eat English, you don't test your English muffins? Why, I just demanded you. I just wanted to say, I just want to ask you, guess what else we have? American muffins. And I support this country and our muffins, okay? We put sugar in that shit. We don't have some dry acid-like white biscuit thing.

Now English muffins, I will have an American muffin, preferably chocolate chocolate chip. Someone does not appreciate neck and crannies, okay? Or an adorable horse and carriage on the logo. Sure don't. And guess what else is disgusting? We're at it. Scones!

Hey, scones! I don't think I've got back your top of the face! You know what? I'm gonna stand up for scones because I used to not like scones. I used to find them to be like dry and worthless. But it turns out, no, it turns out you've been having bad scones. Scones have, scones have a, I think they just have, you have to thread the needle to make a good scone.

And if you make a good scone, it's delicious. But there's just a lot of bad, there's a lot of bad scones out there, okay. And apparently in England they call them scones. How about that? Isn't that crazy? No, I don't support that. They're scones. Well they also call subway tubes, all right?

There's another thing. Which I like. I feel like it's from the future. I'm going to do. Listen to your scones. There's a thing to be invented in America and it's called preserve that tits, which means that no matter what your scones should always taste exactly the same. Okay. We have a chef here. Her name is Little Debbie. They make an effort. Listen, if I had to pick between an English muffin and a regular muffin, I think I might go English muffin. Okay, I think I might.

English muffin with butter or cream cheese. It's perfect. Well, if you get a big drink for your dry ass mouth that you're gonna have after that. It never. Compared, I've actually had dry, melee muffins. I mean, I love a chocolate chip muffin. I love a chocolate chip muffin,

but I just think an English muffin. It's also like, no one ever says an English muffin top, okay? Because their whole body is that way. You know, with muffin tops, at least you just have a muffin top. With English muffins, you're just round, completely round. You're just a muffin. But also, let's never forget the seminal episode of Seinfeld. That was all about muffin tops.

And just like, you know, like what's the point tops and just like you know like what's the point of What's the point of a bait good where half of it you don't even want? I do want it so that episode you're a muffin completionist Listen, I love muffins. Yeah, I think it's noted is it's not so much that I'm like team English muffin over regular muffin because I love muffins But it's more like I can't believe that you're not open to English muffins I wouldn't even I believe you shouldn't even compare them They're not even things that to be compared like maybe an English muffin versus a biscuit That's more comparable On wait watchers when I was like I don't know age five to 30

on Weight Watchers when I was like, I don't know, age 5 to 30. And English muffins have less calories, so every time I was on Weight Watchers, my mom would make me eat English muffins instead of bagels. And so I'm still furious at the English muffin because there was no comparison, you know, so okay, admit it. I'm okay. Well, that's an idiot. Well, there's a source that we got to, you know, there's something about summer house that brings out these really crazy tangents.

We had a whole very intense one last week about typhoid fever. And then someone got mad at us that we said typhoid fever. Oh, by the way, so I got mad, we said typhoid fever and said it's typhus, not typhoid fever. And I was like, okay, I'm stupid, sorry. But then I guess because I searched it, it was like the top of my news. And ABC News says that there's tie-forward fever in the downtown police station. And not Typhus, and not Typhus.

So what happened? I also want to point out that. I'm also going to die as the police. I also want to point out that this person also accused us of spreading right wing lies, by confusing Typhoid with Typhus. So you got to be careful when you listen. You are spreading right wing lies

because you're advocating for muffin English muffin Those are total right winged garments, okay? Excuse me. Our very Republican president is in England right now, so Probably eating an American muffin is an American president would it's like George Bush going over there being like I'll order some freedom Or some freedom gasoline you know that you'd freedom molecules Put about that. Let's get on with this damn recap, please. I know. I'm sorry I don't have all day. I have to pack to go to Milwaukee baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Well, we can thank Amanda for and Hannah for getting us on that tangent

for Hannah for getting us on that tangent. So, so long Amanda. Yeah, so Kyle, Kyle meanwhile, he's getting ready. He's telling Carl that like his big plan is that like, he's going to take Amanda on a boat at sunset to propose to her. And in my mind I'm like, so you're gonna get wasted at the party and then go on this boat. This does not seem like a good idea. But I mean we see how it works out later, but I was like, hmm, maybe dedicate its own separate night to it.

Yeah. So, uh, Carl's like, if Carl can roll up and pull this off, there's hope for this guy. I was like, no, Carl's like rich. Yeah. And by the way, and while this is paid, like, I'll just paid a $25,000 down payment for an apartment. So there's a difference. I'm sorry to break it to you. It's a shallow difference. But that's a lot of pancakes and English muffins. A lot of Wednesday phone calls. I also appreciate the visual that while they're talking about,

you know, like whether, you know, rehashing, you know, whether Amanda's dad approves of this or not, and the engagement, we keep cutting to Amanda taking a nap in the coffin. I was like, if this has ever been a metaphor, I don't know. I don't know. No kidding. So let's see here, people are getting dressed for the party. This whole episode is people just dancing around getting dressed for things. I know. So the Carl and Jordan are dressed as priests and Carl is like, ah, Jens, I'm pretty sure Jordan came from the Church of Lauderdale Botox.

See what I did there? I actually just changed two words that actually don't even rhyme and they're not even gonna play on anything. anything it's just I put both talks in instead gents it's pretty funny pretty funny so then pages ironing her hair literally with an iron and uh damn y'all calls max and she's like whoo spreadsheets power point he's like just say sexy dolling so they decide that they're gonna still be together in the fall. Yeah. And Hannah is gonna still be with British Dave because they wanna watch bad TV together,

which, you know, I feel like that's what to look for in a relationship. Yeah. Like who's just gonna sit around with me and fart while we watch TV? Like, that's it. Yeah, I agree. So then it's time for this like funeral situation. So they all gather around their coffin and Jordan's like, do you really believe it?

We're gathered here today and they're just like, that's for a wedding, you idiots. Can't believe we're co-workers. You're on the show right now. All right, well what we're going to do is we're going to write down things from this summer that were issues and we're going to put them in the coffin and put those issues to bad? For example, my penis has been terrorizing the city of New York.

I'm going to put that to bed. Another example, I have had to turn away so many women from this house that I'm afraid women as a population are going to start not believing themselves anymore And I don't want to do that at this point in time. So I'm gonna bury that Also you guys might remember a pilot her name was Amelia Earhart She got on my huge penis and flew around the world and was never heard from again And I'm sick of my penis being blamed for things. So we're gonna put that to bed Yeah never heard from again and I'm sick of my penis being blamed for things so we're gonna put that to bed. Yeah, you also may remember that time that an asteroid was hurtling towards Earth and Bruce Willis went up there to blow it up. Turns out that wasn't an asteroid. It was actually my penis coming back to reattach itself to my groin. So I just want to bury all the confusion that that caused. I apologize to everyone.

So then Daniel's like, okay, well, what I want to put away is that comment about me not being couldn't have to take him to mom. I want some D. So I'm gonna put that to rest. That's a good one. I'm also gonna put away my summer pass on the L.I. Double R because I'm never running that train again. Thank you very much. I like that Jordan put his own issues away and then everyone else put Jordan's issues away. I know. And I was like goodbye to all of Jordan's white lies. Yeah. And he's like, wow. And then Lindsay, you know, of course goes back to herself and she's like, all right, be my lover. All right, be my boom sweat. Maaah. Like, did you already bury your belt?

Because we wonder if you need one. No? OK. All right, I think you guys know what mine's going to be. And that's how could you not even touch my dick? That's mine. Putting that to bed. Thanks for making hand gross Carl.

And page is like, mine is not getting asked out on dates and Lindsay putting me on ice. So thanks. Well felt great. Yeah. And then Amanda's like, I'm going to put the bed Kyle's cheating scandal. And we're never going to talk about it again, because I don't want to bring it up ever again. Bad. Anything you want to say? That shooting scandal is going to be like, carry. Coming through that grave. So, um, so now

it's party time. All right, P. Summer. Blue, blue, blue, blue. It's summer! Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub! Also, did you know this Kyle's was, Amanda, I'm glad that you understand I'm 100% ready for commitment. I'm gonna put that away. He's like, oh, Kyle! And they make abilities, got blood all over his mouth.

Yeah. Also, that's not what you want to bury. I think you want to actually keep the 100% commitment alive. I don't think Kyle was listening to the rules. Okay, he's so nervous. He is. He's so nervous. He is. He's so nervous he's coming down with a fever and everything. You're not getting sick.

Guess what that's called. It's called withdrawal. You're welcome. I'm Dr. Ronnie here with you. So now it's so everyone's people coming over. It's time to party and then Jordan's like, you guys, I wrote a poem for summer. Here we go. RIP to Summer, you'll definitely be missed, like a 4A and page in Carl Pantry kiss. The

only twins we saw this Summer were Lindsay's floating about while we shared tons of memories extremely blacked out. I'm off to join the Navy now gonna save the world from terrorism and then after that I'm gonna have an exorcism Wow That last part of the end I was like oh shit. I just put myself in a corner with terrorism Well done. Yeah, you can't really build on terrorism. Yeah. Oh, can you? So he's like, listen, I fucked up this summer, but I just wanted people to like me. That's what you do when you want people to like you. You lie about everything all the time.

Can you believe that someone like me, who's the number one bachelor on hinge, would actually have to do the lie to get people to like him? You think they just like me automatically by me being the number one patch on hinge. And Hannah's like, oh, I still don't know who Jordan is, but whoever he is on his little journey, I love that weirdo, so. Yeah. So then, uh, Kristen comes over, uh, and Carl's like, welcome back, babe. But, you know, also he probably was doing that to like five other girls. Hey, welcome back babe. Oh, sorry. You were not a person, are you? No, you're not. Yeah, a Christian walks in, he's like, do I smell a chef?

She's like, what? What? Not bad, Carl. What the hell? So then Paige is in the pool. There's a lot of jumping in the pool and Paige is in the pool and she's talking to Lindsay, sitting by the pool. And she's like, I can't believe that I'm single.

Carl's got a girlfriend and you're a total dumpster fire and you've got like two guys that you're sleeping with. And then he goes, everyone's happy but us. Then page guys, ill. Hey, well, I can't believe I'm venting with you and associating with you right now. So Jordan's in the kitchen and he meets some new girl She's like hi, my name is Jamie Rose and he goes Jamie Rose, hey She's like, oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna go talk to this tall guy Hey, were you just talking to the guys from the church of ladder day Botox? You know, I'm just gonna leave the party

talking to the guys from the Church of Latter-day Botox. You know, I'm just gonna leave the party. Just gonna leave the party alone. So, Kristen Cus, but she's like, oh my God, I can't. There's just like so many bodies here. Session link's aty. I can't. Why would you fucking come to a party? Go home.

I know, exactly, Kirsten. I went to blanket Kirsten. He's like, that's fine. I go upstairs to my room where I certainly have not jerked off on those sheets. It's perfectly fine for you to sit on. Once again, anything sticky up there, it's from us to keep on that I dropped on there. So go up there, Pamela. Well, it also meant like, I don't call me during the week and I see you and I just get

to come to a party with the fuck. Do you want to spend time in your room? And he's like, no, I'm going to party with Paige. Have fun. Have fun, lady. I'm about to come to a party with the fuck you want to spend time in your room, and he's like no I'm gonna party with Paige have fun have fun lady. I'm about to ask to be my girlfriend So yeah, so Kyle's like hey, man. No, we're gonna go on a date She's like okay Kyle sort of weird. I was just about to make guacamole kind of my signature, but And then page and Carl's are doing this like swing dance thing where he's basically like Flipping her all around his body and stuff. Yeah seem very non-page. I don't think I feel like she wouldn't like to be Like not have her around eat on yes one around

I feel like she wants to have at least one foot on the ground at any given time. Yeah, well she did. You know, page drinking, she starts party. Yeah. And then Daniel's like, oh, they're clearly interested in each other and it's hilarious to see how far they'll go to be these other relationships. I'm like, when Daniel is calling you a triad, you know you're in trouble. Okay, it's time to read things. I I know cut to Daniel and the party like off in the corner just like dancing with herself yeah with the tree all the ticks are like you know I'm not gonna jump on her so Carl is like Carl's like page you know I want you to know this so much been really amazing and

page is like I hit the most fun I mean you know things could have been turned out differently but they didn't yeah yeah well you know they didn't because you know pancakes etc. Hearts up of me and cakes aren't free so pancakes don't go on trees today we're new pancake come from actually and page is like, um, no regrets. Okay. And if Kristen doesn't work out and you want to go in the pantry later, I'm totally here for that. I was like, Oh, I'm sure she is so mortified that she said that. And it's on TV. I was like, page, that's not your brand.

Your brand. So Mandarin Kyle go on their date. And, uh, by the way, at Amanda, by the way, before they go on the date, they're getting changed. And Amanda's like, Kyle, I'll be outside by the way, Amanda, by the way, before they go on the date, they're getting changed and Amanda's like, Kyle, I'll be outside by the Jello. I was like, wow, that's not a suspicious beginning to the engagement. Outside by the Jello, Kyle and Amanda. So you were saying, Carl goes up to Lindsay and he's like, Lindsay, like, I wanna get Kirsten Flowers and ask her to be my girlfriend. So, I'm gonna take these flowers from the coffin. Which is so, Carl, it's like the lowest effort

you could possibly fucking make for this girl. I could tell you the lowest effort. It was me, Senior Year of College, my fraternity formal, and I invited, I asked my friend, Aly Alyssa to be my date and it occurred to me like wait a second, I actually was junior year and I was like oh I'm supposed to get a flower and it was Mother's Day and it was like 6 p.m. and so all the flower shops were closed so I plucked a flower from a parking lot island.

And wrapped and then I cut. And then I cut, I had a bag in my apartment, like a paper bag, like it was like white because it's from like a store. And I cut out a panel of it and then like curled it up to make it look like a cone and put the flower in the cone. And I gave it to Alyssa. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

And she loved it. Yeah, totally curled it. Yeah. She's a curston. She's just like any male attention. She's like, yeah. No, no, no, she wasn't. She wasn't.

She just, she knew it was like so pathetic. But I think she knew I was gay. And so she was like, oh my god, we're going to have so much fun. Alyssa is great, by the way. If anyone knows Alyssa, she's great. She's like, thanks. This is great. She's like read living this like, wow.

She's like, that was a Sunday. I could have been home studying and I got a GMI final the next day because this fucking flower. So Carl goes up to Kirsten and she's in bad texting and stuff and he's like, hey, Kirsten, he's a roses. And she's like, I mean, they're not really rosa. And she goes, I know.

He's like, yeah. So all right, I just want to say this. Like, when you got here, I was like, so happy to see you. And like, you make me happy. So happy. I'm like, so happy. I want to like give you everything I have, which is literally a pair of white jeans in a shirt This is snack

I mean like I think you're like right now You're the person I want to give you what I have and I don't have much but like I think that I like you and like I don't know like I want to be with you like seriously like I mean not at this party Yeah, any attention while you're sitting up here in my bedroom But you'll say you'll be my girlfriend so I can go back to the party that would be great. Yeah, so you know like girlfriend stuff so Christians like um Let me see I'm I'm having a migraine right now and I can't tell what you're telling me is real or just like the product of my brain

But I'm used to go with it. Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, I want that to like why not okay? Oh my god, you're my boyfriend. He's like, you know what? We should announce it. We should like announce it to everybody So he goes out he takes out onto the balcony But pages on the other side of the balcony, on the judgment balcony. And I even used to stand. Yeah, yeah, she is like taking the role of Steven, just like, I will pass judgment now.

And we should also mention that when Carl went up to Kirsten, he walked right by Paige and she was like, Carl, this is our jam. He's like, yeah, hold on a second. Yeah, I see. And I was like, it was like a flashback to Teen Wolf when like the blonde girl like wants to be with Michael J. Foxy, like pushes her aside to get to like the girl,

like who's been like the nice one all along, you know? And I was like, don't make Paige the blonde bitch in this situation in Teen Wolf, no. Yeah. So Paige was up there like morning her dance with Carl. Yeah, she was, Paige was already like passing judgment and being like, and like I cannot believe I already offered the pantry and that Carl snub me

on the way up to here. So he comes out there and he's like ready to yell from the balcony to be like, hey, I got a girlfriend, which by the way, who does that? And Paige is already there. He's like, so Paige, Kersen's my girlfriend now. And she's like,

I'm going to cry. I love it. she's like I'm going to cry I love it so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy for you guys and he goes I'm gonna announce it to everybody she's oh no I'm gonna announce it Is she like breaks in between them? Yeah, and Carl's like guys. I'm in a relationship and it's just page They're going like this right below him with like a look of like Complete mortification on it. They're like, hey, we're kissing our together. And they're like, who? Is that? Is she the one who actually owns this house? Who is she? They're like, finally, you're together with Paige! She's like, oh the other one, the one deciding behind Paige right now. They're like, oh. The fern, that's over there? No, no, where'd she go?

Pages like, and I would like to announce that I'm going to test to see if I can fly, so I will jump off of this balcony right now. I would like to announce that I've invented a new drink and it's called bleach, and I'm about to drink it. Thanks. So then we cut to Amanda and Kyle on the boats and Kyle, a sailboat, you're gonna take me to sail again. What are all these flowers? There's so many flowers

He's like well Amanda Just want to you know get it's you know, it's like third ear and what we gone through blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah He's like I wasn't asking your dad for money the other day. That was just a joke I just invited him because I was asking for his blessing and also his money No, it was yeah, and you know it was you know, it was bad timing, but she doesn't ask did he say yes? Yeah, oh So then he so then he proposes and then she starts to cry and she's like, and of course she's like, Yes, are you kidding me Kyle? Are you fucking kidding me? Yes Kyle? Yes! Yeah, I didn't tear up during it. I mean I think they're really good. I guess I'm glad they're getting married But I did kind of tear up when the whole crew started clapping for them, like all the production crew. Yeah. And then they showed the crew all around them.

Like on a different boat. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was so tough to see all these people with jobs. I mean, it's so nice after this season. Yeah, they're like, this means we don't have to donate to Leverboy because we are documenting a seminal life event for you. Yeah, that was, I don't know why that got me to me to you I thought it was actually cute. I really did you know, because I think I I actually really like both of them a lot And I just think they're very sweet and I don't know I felt like they feel like a real couple

I don't know it that was nice in a weird way, and then they're all yeah productions all Clapping and Amanda's like oh my god. I hate all of you And then she's like can can we take a selfie? Which is so Amanda. Yeah. So then back home, Kristen's like, I'm leaving. And he's like, OK. So I guess you're leaving?

She's like, yeah, Carl. So she leaves. And then Paige is in bed crying with Hannah. And she's like, Carl found a girlfriend. I want that. That's not fair. And Hannah's like, well found a girlfriend. I want that, that's not fair. Yeah. And Hannah's like, well, you're not settling for like literally

anything that moves and can pay for a slice in the city. So you're the winner here. Yeah. I mean, in what world does Carl get a girlfriend before I get a boyfriend? It's called Bravo TV. So everyone's like frallicking in the living room and then calling a man to come back. and they walk in and someone's like,

What's with the expensive bottle of wine and then Carl goes sick ring bro? I'm like you fucking asshole. Yep, that's like you totally again, stole a thunder You're supposed to let Amanda be like hey guys and like lift up her hand and show the ring But like Carl jumped the gun and called it out. It's bullshit, Carl. It's bullshit. I didn't even notice that. Yeah, he did like a double funder stealing. He like tried to make an announcement

about having a girlfriend to which no one gave a shit about. And then he did this. And then they show people, everyone's reaction to to Amanda being engaged and they cut to Danielle and she just looks horrified. She's like, what? And then Lindsay, this is hilarious. When Lindsay goes up,

and goes, I've always been rooting for you guys. What, do you remember the season premiere? Yeah, Lindsay. She's like, yeah, well, now they're actually running. Did you see the look Danielle gave Lindsay premiere? Yeah, Lindsay. She's like, yeah, well, now they're actually running. Did you see the look Danielle gave Lindsay when they came back and engaged and you went like this to Lindsay? I know. I gave a dirty look. Sorry, girls, your little plan didn't work. And you're lucky that this isn't a traditional

bravo show where you would have been villainized the whole season for trying to pull that shit too. That's true to them. They both, you know, they both, everybody ends up friends, which is nice, you know. And they all, they all like, well, the tradition is skinny dipping, so they all go skinny dipping, except for Hannah and Paige. They keep their, their tops on and everything. Cause like, turn the heat up, my dick is small. And Carl's like, yeah, my dick is so small right now. It's so small. It's just right now, Paige. Right now is when it's small.

Yeah, and then did anyone remember that being town? Which is how it ends. Yeah. I was somehow, we've loved you. What a, yeah. What a, yeah, I hope you come back for a fourth season. What a, it was a great comeback year.

I was so happy to show got its footing again. And I'm so excited for it to come back. Yes, and now we have another show coming back to replace this, which is below deck mode. So we're going to go record that right now. That should be out later tonight. And if you want to watch this on video, come over to Crappens on demand.

We're also going to be doing Beverly Hills on Crappens on demand tomorrow. And we'll see you guys in Milwaukee this week. And Minneapolis, and do not forget to go buy your tickets. New York is almost sold out, and then we've just added St. Louis for December. So, and that's a pretty small house. So go buy tickets, because that'll sell that quick. And then all of our other cities and merchandise shops are at watchwattcraftens.com. So go go over there and we will talk to you next time.

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