Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Carl's Quiet On The Festerin' Front

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

On this week's Summer House (S7E5), Carl reacts to Danielle's accusations of being too passive against Kyle. Plus Mya has a negative reaction to Gabby's privilege.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today is the wonderful, the glorious, the absolutely fantastic. Mr. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how are you? Hello, Ben. Are you ready to embark on an Odyssey as in our 2000 and first episode, 2001, Crapins Odyssey? Oh, man, I should have caught up on space Odyssey. So I would have meant some space Odyssey references. Well, here's all you have to know.

Monkeys use tools, use bones, and they become the first tools, and they throw them up in the air. And then a computer, a passive aggressive computer sings a song about Daisy and tries to kill humans. And then lights flash for 25 minutes. And that's pretty much the entire movie. Ha ha ha. Looks good. I'm looking at images now. Is it an amazing movie. Yeah, it looks pretty good actually. Maybe I'll watch that even though you just told me the whole thing. It is spoiler alert. I mean, it's a slow, it's slow.

Like, and when I talk about that lights, there's like a sequence where you just see lights on screen for like, like, I don't know know it goes on for 10 minutes I mean it was definitely a product of the 60s, but it's still it's just a cool movie. Yeah. Well, hey I probably got some old mushrooms around here. Yeah Gotta have some somewhere. I would love to do a director's cut of that where we just do Real housewives talking over 2001 space Odyssey. You know what? You know what this computer. I don't think I'd like this computer how

So you know what you know it's problem how house lonely. Okay, how doesn't have a beautiful wife like me Okay, sorry how you're sad computer We should do that. We should just do like housewives go to the movies and just pretend it's like two housewives watching a movie together I'm down because you know like housewives go to the movies and just pretend it's like two housewives watching a movie together. I'm down because you know I love mystery science data 3000 it's sort of in that vein and we know we've kind of talked about that over the years and we kind of forgot about it but yeah we should totally do that. We did that for the news one time for fun that's on our Instagram stories are like safe stories. Wow. That was so funny. We were in Nebraska. Remember we're in Omaha,

and Omaha, I'll tell a room. We just turned out the local news and recorded it and started talking all over the newscasters. Just doing all their voices. That was a fun one. I'm down to do that with some movies. All right, everybody.

Well, welcome to washwater. Rap on today is summer, house day and episode 2001. You know what? It's a new era. Okay, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, I think Ramona is the Y2K bug. I think she's just like the exemplification of it. People are like, oh, Y2K came and the only thing that happened

was that like a video store in Upstate New York who like charged people a lot. Like no, you know what else happened? Ramona singer. She's like, Y2K bug. Do we have proof that she was even around before that? And like, I don't think space time continuum opened up and just dropped out.

Whoa, whoa, me. I'm gonna sing I. Space time continuum opened up and just dropped out. Whoa! Whoa, me! I'm gonna sing I. Whoa, I'm gonna normally. Whoa, something happened. You wanna delve wet, earthlings? You know what earthlings? Here's what I can tell you from my world, okay? You all need to have truth.

Thank you! That's it! Yeah. Anywho, today we are recapping Summer House, good old summer house, good old classic Bravo TV show. And before we dive into it, let's give you a little update on the sketch. Next week we're going to Denver, Colorado, and then we're going to Salt Lake City in Denver. We're going to recap Vanderpump rules in Salt Lake City

We're gonna recap the premiere of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls trip So that is going to be a trip especially since some people from Salt Lake City are on that show And then afterwards we're going to the following week. We're going to Seattle and the San Francisco and then in April We've got two shows only Only two shows in April, Toronto and Philadelphia. Toronto is pretty much sold out. I think there's like literally five tickets left. Like we actually had to release some of our comps. So that way we could some more tickets for people.

That way people could come. So it's really down to those numbers. So if you're interested in Toronto, definitely go, get your tickets. And you know, I think that's all.'s where on patreon crap is on demand this week We're gonna do New Jersey and Vanderpump rules. Is there anything else that we have to talk about Ronnie about that stuff? No, I think that's it. Yeah, thanks to everybody who's been coming out We've been having a great great time meeting you doing these live shows. So fun. We've had so much fun

So thank you and And keep on the coming people. Keep it on the coming people. Yeah, amazing audiences last week. Thanks to everyone who came to our shows. And come because I could be dead soon because I found out I have very high blood pressure. So I'm going I'm on Amazon right now looking at blood pressure things. It's okay. It's cheap. I'm going to get a cheap one. You can cheap out on blood pressure monitors, right? Add to cart. Oh, it comes today. Oh, it's a day, it's a day of delivery. That's so exciting. What if I get it today and then I could do my blood

pressure every time I get this? Oh, you know, blood pressure is fun to do. Wrap that thing around your arm. I have a raincoat that's supposed to be arriving because it's sorry. I'm about to die. So how about you not talking about your raincoat? I'm like literally on the verge of having a stroke. And you're like, oh, my raincoat's coming. So this blood pressure thing is coming. And I asked how you get high blood pressure. And you were saying like blood pressure monitoring is fine. You know what else is fun? Getting high blood pressure. Do you know how you get it? Eating terribly and not exercising. So this is like a medal of honor for me that I have high blood pressure

because I have enjoyed the fuck out of getting you high blood pressure. But it's time to get rid of you. I thought getting high blood pressure was just like a byproduct of watching all these provost shows. Okay. Maybe I think it's made me more like Buddhist Zen, you know, where I'm calmer.

I mean, a bomb could go off next to me and I'm like, but whatever, you know, how did it sound? Let's talk about the sound of it. I hated the sound of it. What did you do? Stupid sounding bomb. That kind of better aimed at bomb. Yeah, be better.

Just be better. Just be better. Get better. Fuck out of the bomb. Yeah, I like. Just be better. Just be better. Get better, fuck out of the bomb. Yeah, I like sh- sh- shame me a bomb. A bomb shame me. A bomb shame me. Get a blood pressure and bomb. Blood pressure and bombs.

Welcome to the show. Hey, bomb, congratulations. You went off. Now do it again. Oh, you're a one-track pony. Congratulations. No wonder they call you a bomb. The cat is the way I just got it. I don't know where to just to pile on. Oh, we bomb-shaming. Nice to meet you. Bomb. They call me. I demand my money back. That's my name.

Congratulations. Unlike cabaret. You can only perform once. Yeah, Bare, you can only perform once. So, here we go. Last week ended with a big fight. The Danielle kind of started, but it was to go against Amanda, right? Because she was playing that game where you just say something shitty and make somebody cry,

which all the problems she was using now. Yeah, so her question was, you do trust Elise and she said Amanda. So Amanda ran off crying. And by the way, have you seen Amanda's social post where Kyle left for winter house, but Amanda stayed home sick. And so she posted a picture of herself on Instagram like covering one eye, just looking really sick.

Who takes a picture of themselves like that? Like really Amanda? Everyone I sick. Yeah. Like taking a selfie of herself while that. Like really Amanda. Everyone I say. Yeah. Like taking a selfie of yourself while covering one eye and going, like you can hear the picture. Um, you know, uh, with Winterhouse, by the way, that we haven't talked about this, but Winterhouse is in Colorado this year.

And, um, the rumors are that like Riley from below deck is on winter house, which I think is such crazy, but hilarious and amazing casting and that the Tom's were supposed to be on it, but you know, they're a little indisposed at the moment. Yeah, they're busy losing restaurants and stuff right now, but yeah, they just announced that they hired another below deck guy who is hot, Yeah, they just announced that they hired another below deck guy who is hot Af really, okay. Yes. He's so beautiful and he's gonna be I guess on the next season of below deck something rather But he's shooting winter house. So I is it a below deck season. I don't know So weird I have like to me. It's like crossing the lines like for some reason not not like moral lines It's like crossing the Ghost Ghostbuster lines, like the actual zappy lines.

Because I don't know, I have a hard time. Like it was a little weird enough for me when the Tom showed up on Winterhouse. I kind of feel like the Winterhouse Summerhouse Southern Charm world is like its own column. And so below deck just feels weird to see them doing land things. I don't know, it's a strange. Well also, yeah, I see the line. I think Paige is gonna have a problem having to interact with people who like mop.

You know what I mean? I feel like Paige is gonna have some classes I'm going on on this one. My dream, I've never actually wanted to see more Austin, but my dream is that Winterhouse has Austin, because if Riley's gonna be there, just to see Riley go off on him, Riley will go off on Austin in such an amazing way,

unless something weird happens, unless it's one of those crazy cute videos you see on the dodo where like a wolf and a tortoise become friends, that would be very upsetting. But I want Riley just to eviscerate those men. Oh yeah, she will. She will. She's so good.

Yeah. She's spunkier than ever. So I hope that she makes it too. So there was a big fight. So matter when I'm crying, then Danielle got upset because Kyle came in and started ranting and raving and calling Lindsay a bitch and Carl and asshole and the Carl wouldn't fight with him. He's just like staring straight ahead and Lindsay won't fight with him.

So now Kyle is ranting and raving all over the house. He finally walks to the backyard and was screaming out there and now Danielle is crying at Lindsay and Carl and saying, Carl, you need to say something is being an asshole. Well you started it, okay? And Kyle is being an asshole, but you started this just to stand up for Lindsay. And now Lindsay's not helping you either. So I hope you've learned a lesson today, ma'am. She did not.

I'll tell you that much. She did. So I think Kyle is in the backyard and he's ranting and he's like, everyone is giving Lindsay Hubbard so much power. I'm like, listen, I don't know. Lindsay has like zero power. I don't know what Lindsay has. Lindsay, she can't even get a sandwich. So then Carl's like, oh, well, I'm not going to stand by and stand for any of this bullshit. Like no one wants to be a friend of this like this pathetic It's like it's all pathetic like I'm not gonna argue with him like he's like already deal with a stupid issue of all time

Like is it just separate or remember? And Andrea is like he's right Of course like yo, I was like fucking So then uh, everyone else is just going to badger like this is crazy You know all the noobs have learned that what's Kyle gets on when like this You know and Carl's always kind of obnoxious when he's just wasted ranting and raving around the house But at least it's usually with cute hair. I mean now it's just someone in a mullet You know you just like downgraded it so much like I can't even enjoy your ramps anymore

So Carl's saying oh, I'm looking to argue with him who's wrong the right mom And Daniel's like oh, so no one's gonna say anything damn He can just run his mouth all the time And Amanda's crying in bed. You're like I don't want to be here. I want to be home with our dogs I just want to be home with our dogs being sad. I'm not the winter house And so then Danielle goes to check my dogs and the cardboard cut out that my dogs find untrustworthy of me So Danielle goes to check it on her and Maya's like just like no don't do that So then Kyle is just like continuing to you now is he's outside and Gabby's out there with him.

And he's like, I'm like, dude, like let's just talk about the elephant in the room. And Gabby's like, Kyle, you're screaming into the abyss and no one hears you, you're the only one out here. And then he just yells, Hey, Carl! What are you gonna do now? What are you gonna do? Ha!

Just a crazy person yelling in the backyard. And Gabby's like, Oh, Carl's not listening to you. Carl, he's like, he's ruining everything. So he's losing it. I would just like to remind everybody that we did see a scene of a madduce cardboard cutout

in their apartment, and the dogs did not find that cardboard cutout trustworthy either. So I'm just gonna go ahead and go with the dogs intuition on this one. Yeah. Yeah. So Carl goes upstairs and he like, he throws his mic off. He throws his mic down the stairs on my soulmate, bros. And then he like, he goes like stomping down the hallway, like right by Danielle, like I'm so mad, I'm gonna go in my room and I'll cause I don't want to haul, you look great by the way, I'm not angry.

And Danielle loves the drama, you know, cause when she's done, then she goes to talk to everybody about it and explain it to herself. So she's doing that, she's crying and she's like, uh-huh, my the only reason I brought it up, and I was like, oh Jesus. And then Carl passes right through them without saying anything and Maya's like,

it's heel-car, and Danielle's like, no, cause I yelled at him anything. And Maya is like, is he'll care? And Daniel's like, no, cause I yelled at him too. And I was like, why aren't you standing up for her? Like you're saying nothing, nothing. Maya just covers her head. Like I want to wait for this for a reason. Yeah, you know what? I'm like, incredibly angry and frustrated.

And like, what are your best friends as y'all get your girlfriend? And like, that man, or that's like ugly and disrespectful. Like, if it wasn't like Someone who's like my friend of my boss would be like very different, you know like this would end very differently like I can only imagine What is gonna say when he's just wearing matching pajamas around the holiday season? I mean my first insult like old Carl like old Carl 3.0 would have like beat the fuck out of you I'm the one trying to sell you you know like a dental chair or something. That's what the old car will have done but this was Carl Salmon Corn. Oh I have a notification island now so I'm not playing this game. Carl has literally beaten up no one on this show so

all versions of Carl have never beaten up anyone. I feel like he's tried to act like he's gonna beat somebody up. Yeah it was Luke and then I feel like he got in another fight where he's like, oh yeah, come at me, bro. Yeah, me bro. Hey, do you want this electronic Charter getter? Because it's actually pretty. Just put it up against your teeth. And then I was like sonic force. So Yeah, I think Carl's big thing is he just puts his arms out. Why? Yeah, so what do you want? You want to go, bro? You want to go, bro? Like just a new Carl Carl's big thing is he just puts his arms out wide. Yeah, so what do you want? Who do you want to go, bro? You want to go, bro?

Like, just the new Carl. Carl's going to go, bro. You want to go? It's not scary when you're wearing a polo shirt with a collar flip back. I know. It's just like a frantic giraffe. Like a giraffe that's cornered

and he's like, doesn't know what else to do. He's sort of like, flap its legs. That's what I imagine a giraffe does when it's cornered, you know? So speaking of cornered giraffes, Lindsay is talking to Sam and Chris because no one else will talk to Lindsay and so they're all gone. So now Lindsay is ranting and raving to them. Like, although I'm the bad guy and everything is my fault, I'm the one that was hurt. I sent a text from that and nothing was done and then it was my fault.

Oh my god. Why don't you say this when everybody's there instead of waiting till everybody leaves? Yeah, and then she's like obviously if she cared like she would have said hey, I haven't seen you since you send me that text Let's go talk and like that never happened So either but wasn't the point that Amanda texted her and she didn't text back. So What she's supposed to be like hey, I haven't seen you since I sent you that text and you completely ignored me want to talk No, yeah, it's it's like that mentality. Yeah, like oh no, you have to go above and beyond when I was being called to you right so Sierra's then Sierra's talking to Amanda and bad she's like Lindsay's pissed in trying to say that you're a bully and Amanda's like I'm a boy

All right Just that's beautiful. Just sobbing away. Shh. Me. Amanda's still just sobbing up there. She said, hold on, I'm going to take a selfie like this. So people believe that I was crying. So when he's like, um, I said it very clear after all these years,

like you don't want to be friends with me. Like, and like it's very clear to me, you don't wanna be friends with me. And Sam is like, um, she literally feels the exact same way as you do, and it's funny because it reminds me of when I was like, this like very young girl, and I was like, I don't talk to you about her, I don't talk to you about her.

You just said you trusted the least in front of the whole house, Lindsay. Yeah, literally just said that. And Lindsay starts doing her thing, which is where she throws her arms out and then she sort of does like a light chest bump to the air. You know, she's like, oh, like tell me, you tell me what's clear. You tell me what's clear. And yeah, she puts periods in the middle of everywhere.

It's like, she talked shit about me. How is that clear? Do her. I don't think shit about her. You tell me what's clear. And Kyle's like, good luck to Carl. They're a package deal of chaos. I'm like, you're literally stomping around the backyard.

And like, late at night, you're like a troll who goes through the kitchen and eats everything and say, Yeah. So then, Danielle is now talking to Chris and she's like, his car is up there. Did you see, did you see him just sit there while his woman got beat to death by Kyle? God, Danielle, grow up.

Go find something else to do. You're ridiculous. You are fucking ridiculous. Mm-hmm. Yeah, then Danielle grow up, go find something else to do. You're ridiculous. You are fucking ridiculous. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the Lindsey goes, you can't say anything. And Danielle was like, well, what he did was sit there while you got annihilated by a car. And that's so fucked up.

I am over it. I am over it. Yeah, and Lindsey gives her that look like, really? Because you know she's gonna stand up for Carl over you. So trying to turn Carl, turn her against Carl right now is not a very good mood. So Chris is like, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now that I'm not saying get into a fight or something. And then Andrea's like, he's not in the frame of mind to talk. I go give him hook and make him fountain. I make fountain and give him finger hook. The right in his bungalow. I give him fountain fountain come out

So then he is like do I wish Carl would say something sure But like would it be nice if Carl was just like dude relax bro. Yeah, but like I understand He's like trying to figure out like how to communicate his thoughts and emotions as a super person I like understand that because like I like didn't drink for two months for him. So like I get it. It was five weeks. So I know. Also just to help move things along Carl saying fuck you works the same sober or trunk.

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I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronny. Go on. Plancer meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible. I am so excited to be spending time cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats.

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Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So Kyle and his mullet come back inside to start some shit, you know, he's still swinging. And Kyle's like, everyone suck, yeah, as I say, and Gabby goes, oh my God, I'm simultaneously too young and too old for that. This is like tourist bullshit. This is like, this is like,aurus bullshit. This is like this is like

cancer bullshit. I'm going to back. So then Kyle goes up to Amanda's room where she's still sobbing and then Sam joins and she sits she sidles up to her and she's like it's a lot like I'm here to lay by you. You know when I was studying ballet when I was 18 I would have very emotional moments and it was just such a terrible thing and then when I was 19 I would just you know the emotions just would build up and build up and is anyone listening to me still you guys all left the room Didn't you know they're all gone? So now Gabby's in the kitchen with Lindsay and she's like I'm exhausted after like three weeks of fast and Lindsay's like Imagine seven years

I'm tired, bitch. Ha ha ha ha, I'm tired. See, these old people, these old people are a lot. The older cast is like really trying to make it happen and they're running around screaming and they used to keep walking up to the younger cast to be like, get into the drama and they're like, you guys are lame. Like, is this what activity it does to you? Because it's exhausting.

So then, yeah, Sierra is talking about, Sierra is telling Amanda like she needs to lay out the facts. And so Amanda shows the last, she's like, this is the last text I sent to Lindsay. And so we see again, this text where, Linda, where their text is back and forth about what Amanda said at the reunion that, you know, oh, Carl works for us and like,

oh, Lindsay tainted him. So Amanda had texted, I'm sorry that I hurt you and I was feeling frustrated, but I also understand you're his girlfriend and he's going to, and he's going to and should stand up for you and the least I can do is say sorry. And then Lindsay never wrote back to that. Right.

Um, so, never response. So Sam is like, yeah, what he was saying downstairs is that like she said you heard me and you said like, well, all I can say is I'm sorry. And cause like, she's a fucking horrible person, it makes me sick. The best friend thinks she's marrying her. I don't like him, he's a faggot. And it makes her sob. Not yeah, man, it's still like...

Pfft. So, bedtime for Lindsay and Carl, Lindsay's like, BAM! You okay, babe? And he's like, BAM! BAM! I'm sorry to speak up to someone that's been like drinking all day

and is making no sense and just like saying the same crazy shit over and bam, bam. I'm sorry to speak up to someone that's been like drinking all day and is making no sense and just like saying the same crazy shit over and over, bam. It's like, bam, I'm kidding, I'm not upset with you, babe. I'm not upset with you, babe. Well, I know that I'm not upset, babe. Well, I'm not upset either, babe. I'm sorry if you wanted me with me. I'm joking, the moon version, I'm joking, oh, well, babe.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Babe, I'm like an upset at all. I absolutely have not, babe. Ha, ha, ha, ha, babe. I'm liking the opposite of all, like, I absolutely have not tried to look the other way over fundamental tension in our relationship. I'm not upset at all, babe. Hmm. So then Kyle and Amanda, the regret begins, because this is Kyle's circle, right?

He's like the typical get drunk, rage, and then apologize like a little fucking baby. So he always gets away with it, you know? So the regret begins. He's like, oh, I wish I hadn't said what I said the way I said it. And Kyle's like, I didn't even hear what you said, Kyle's shut up. I don't really do anything. I don't really do anything.

And Carl, meanwhile, is muttering. He's like, Kyle doesn't want any more from it. Okay, I will literally bury him, like I'm over the shit. Like, I will go up to him and I'll be like, bro, you want some of this? And then, like, if he tries to fight me, I'm gonna just, like, put my arms on me, like, bro. And that'll show him.

So then, Sunday, everybody starts getting up. Andrea just his giant weiner is underwear, so I like that stuff. There's the butt cheeks hanging out. And then Karla and Amanda wake up and she's like, why didn't I have anything in some of San Kyle? I just wish I didn't fucking air. I just care so much.

Shhh. Yeah, I mean, the challenging part is I'm not saying mean things. I'm like saying pretty accurate things. Whoa, my elbow almost just got sucked up into your nostril. You're really taking a lot of snottin' nails. Yeah, but it's so awful. I'm kinda like, I'm gonna use a mean things. So then Lindsay and Carler and their badge saying, BAM!

BAM! How are you, BAM? BAM! I don't want to talk to anybody, BAM. I have nothing to say. Nothing, BAM. Say BAM. Y'all, I don't want to be together with babe. I have nothing to babe say nothing Yeah, I don't want to be to get with anyone otherwise I might just like take them out I just might beat them up so hard right now, so I got nothing to say. I mean

Let's learn like a ball pit where I could like bury them because like then I'll do it Hey, baby, don't I want to do to you? I want to bury you in love. I love it so much babe I want to do to you. I want to bury you in love. I love it so much. Enough kind of sound. That's how far I'm gonna walk to bury you in love. I would walk to Afghanistan and back just to show how much I love you. So then Amanda is telling Kyle you have to make him better effort not to let me and Lindsay's relationship get between yours and his and then Lindsay and Carla just like, fuck it. I'm outta here. Carole goes, this is dumb, I'm stupid.

So, I, Carl is not someone I would call a fan. So, oh, bah. Yeah, he's not someone I would ever invite to Barrett's boot camp. So good luck with that, Carl. Good luck, like getting into, good shape without worry. Maybe I can call Carl and invite him

to a buried boot camp. Okay, because that's what he's saying. That's what he's about to be. Yeah, I'm going to bury him under like the ability to do like 50 step ups in an area. Buries boot camp. B-U-R-Y, a Poster FES boot camp. I'm just saying with a buries boot camp. I'm going to be like, lay rightcamp. I'm gonna be like, late right there.

And I'm gonna like, prepare him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, good luck. Good luck. I'm gonna bury on your off-stock of 5-pound weights. So then, Maya calls Oliver and she's like, I'm exhausted.

Like, I'm trying to wrap my mind around what happened last night. And you know what I told you last year about crowd coming after Lindsay? It was like, that situation, but like that situation has nothing all this situation. He's like, I don't know if it's the right, yeah. I'm wonderful.

Glad you called. Thanks. Yeah, I totally remember that situation when you told me, I totally was not zoning out when you told me about it last year. So then Sam is telling Danielle that, oh, Sam's encouraging Danielle and Amanda to get through their thing.

And Danielle says she has no problem talking to Amanda, but first she wants to heat up some pizza rolls for breakfast and Gabby's like, a breakfast pizza roll and a day beer and Sam's like, not a day beer, a morning beer. Oh my God, so much personality we have. So then, can Lindsey come say something? Oh my God, are you doing bacon? Oh, what's your bacon? What's your bacon?

Like it's pizza rolls. And then Chris, then Andrea actually winds up coming in later. He's like, Oh, I thought those were cookies. Does that anyone ever seen a pizza roll before? Has anybody out there ever confused a pizza roll with the cookie? Maybe in Italy cookies just look like tiny pizzas. Yeah, now it's a time to be honest. So Sam's like, hey, Chris, had you sleep? And he's like, oh, my back.

Oh, God, just get the hook. He's just getting it in. He's just getting it in. How is he even still here? There needs to be like a summer house white van like a creepy unmarked van The one the audience is officially over somebody the van just comes and like Dr. Phil kidnaps their asses and takes them away Yeah, honestly bring back Jerez like at least get like give us Jerez so or Jerez or Jerez Jerez

Jerez Jerez You were right by the person you were away from what is my favorite city the only city You can get wasted at 12 years old. That's close to El Paso But you what is The only thing that war is is missing is you that's gonna be the new slogan for the tourism boy so That don't really make sense. It's just like a misspelled they just put

War as misspelled on their travel Only for Jared. It's just like a misspelled, they just put Juarez misspelled on their travel. But it's only for Jared. It's only for Jared's tourism. It's like, it's like waste. It's totally targeted. They're really deeply targeted. Juarez, I hope Jared can one day come. That's a Jared that's always stories can start getting involved too.

Yeah. So Chris is saying last night was bad. He goes, summer in the Hamptons is supposed to be fun. Like it's almost like there should be like a saying about that. And it's like a getaway from the city and drinks and laughter and having a good time. And we've had like a little bit of that, but not enough. Well, you're certainly

not contributing to the drinks and laughter and having fun sir. Yeah and so Andrea comes in and he's like we made it to a 1025 before the drama you're beautiful ladies by the way never even ask you which kind of guy you like and sounds like yeah what's your type? And Kaby's like, um, Andrea, you're my type. Da. Yo, welcome. Yeah. And he goes, oh, and then he actually farts, which was weird that it was not acknowledged. Because I've every wound up three times.

I'm like, he's someone farted when he said that. But he did? He just sort of, yeah, he goes, oh, and then he you're, pfft. Pfft. Pfft. So he got re-going to acknowledge that there was a fart.

About so this show. Yeah, so Gabby is just like, you're welcome. He's like, oh, you know, well, you know, initially I have lots of friends that you love. So you have to come and I find you a husband right away. Oh, little, little Gabby. So I'm not going to have a pool day. And Andrea takes Sierra some tea. It's like, oh, it was just thinking yesterday,

I wasn't even here for my tea in the morning. Thank you. So then meanwhile, Carl and Lindsay decide, they're gonna get into their key, tell your ride and leave. And so before as they're heading out, Sam and Danielle see them and Sam's like, are you guys having got early?

Carl's like, yeah. And Tandy, I was like, you're leaving? Yeah. Right now? Yeah. Lindsay too? Yeah. Anything else you'd like to say?

Yeah. What is it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just a lot of complicated things like, but at the end of the day, I'm like, I'm like, 30, 70 years old, and I don't need to yell and scream to get my point across.

And being the mature person that I am, I'm just gonna run away from the situation. Yeah, I've run now, so. So then they show Amanda and it says Amanda, ding, and Danielle, ding, which was weird. So Amanda's like, I saw you moving a little bit and they go into the bathroom and start hugging. I'm assuming. And now they have this talk behind the closed door. And Danielle's like, I'm so sorry.

I didn't even mean last night. And I was like, I know, I know. Tainted Lindsay. Tainted Lindsay. Huh. I'm sorry. I really should be tainted Carl not tainted Lindsay. I don't know. Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Kyle! Really should be Tainted Karl, not Tainted Lindsay, I don't know. Yeah, you're right. Tainted Karl.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Tainted Karl. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Once I wear my panties. Now I want it for you. This Tainted Love, I love it, babe. It's not tainted at all.

Sorry about that, babe. So Amanda's like, it's OK. I know. It wasn't your fault. And Danielle's like, well, I really didn't expect what happened after that. I was like, Lindsay, why? And Amanda tells us she can forgive Danielle.

Because her apologies are sincere. And also, she's a weapon I can use against Lindsay if I have her on my side. She's protective, and I know all she wants to do is be a good friend, but man, that girl fights Lindsay's battles like no other kind. Wow, a man's voice just took off in the airport. Oh wow, Amanda's voice just like took off the airport. So, um, Sierra checks in on Caldamanda.

Amanda just wants to go home and Cal's like, I was like trying to mentally get to a place where I can have like the words to talk to Carl, but like, I just went downstairs and they're like, gone. And Sierra's like, are you serious? Are you kidding? Yeah, they're gone.

And I feel bad. Like, I don't even know what to do anymore. Like, I wish I knew how to bite my tongue. It's one thing to be brutally honest. Another to say what I want to say in front of Carl. It's like, well, yeah you. With Kyle's like, I wish I'd do what to do. I'm like, you kind of just said it.

But if you want to save your friendship, then you just bite your tongue. Yeah, and you're also starting a lot of fights. It's not like you're just biting your tongue. You're literally starting fights publicly and then blaming everything on your drunkenness later. I mean, you're next in rehab. I'm calling it.

He's gotta go soon, because this is crazy. Like, you can't say, like, this guy is pulling it off in the week. I just don't believe it. Also, I see those bird dogs all over the place and I'm like, does he still make money off bird dogs? Like, he seems like he does okay during the week but it's just so hard to believe

that he does okay during the week. I do see the bird dogs, I wonder because he was like an investor in it but I would not be surprised if he had to like, pull his investment to fund, but I don't know, Kyle. Yeah, cause he used to like pull his investment to fund Bert Lefferboy, but I don't know Kyle. Yeah, because he used to do the commercials for Bert Dog back when they started, remember?

It was just like Kyle pulling on his nets being like, oh my god, that fucking nuts, god, god, Danicorrel. And uh... I was sort of the face of Bert Dog's not gonna lie. I was like the three nuts of bird dog. So I feel like I wasn't really recommend like a push in from my work. So Kyle's like, yeah, I hate this.

I'm gonna have to apologize because there's like a package deal, but like I just can't keep my lips shut to keep the peace. It's just so hard. And Amanda's like, well, if you're upset with someone then you have to say you're sorry, unless you're not sorry. Come on.

So now it's pool time. They're like out in the pool. They're just swimming and then now Andre, it's time for Andre to leave. Enjoy the beautiful sun. And then, yeah, everyone just basically goes back to New York. So now we have like the New York segment

and it's Monday and I really like this. We got a real glimpse into Gabby's day to day. She, we see her on a city bike and then she parks the bike and gets off of it and then like sort of like adjust her hair and then let that, that's it. We have to flip her hair. And that's it. She takes a city bike with heels because that's it heels because it's like, and now it's Tuesday.

I was like, wow, wow, what an insight for Gabby. Yeah, they really picked people who are super busy. I like in the first year how they were always like, oh my God, top of contract. Okay, peace. I beat you. Got peace. I beat settle.

What's this ago? Okay, I've got 19 interns working on top of my friends. So he's got the marker reading machine going. Well, we do see Kyle doing some work. He's on a phone. He's like, Hey, just making sure you got my slack. No, I'm actually talking about Carl in this case. Yeah. Yeah. I'm asking you of Carl is such a good email. He's like, yeah, I've got an emergency meeting at three with a distributor and the lady on the other end is like, oh my god I heard don't worry. Didn't feel like you were ghosting me And then we see Gabby and Sam going to play tennis together and Gabby's like, oh my god I love the smell of fresh tube of tennis balls

I could like open that and just like inhale that tube forever. That's gonna be my new scent. That's it. That's my decision. Tennis ball scent fresh tube. Tube of tennis balls. Tennis ball tube. I totally came up with that on the city bike.

So. Yeah, what you saw was not me getting off the city bike. What you saw was me having inspiration. Yeah So I was like how long have you been playing tennis and Like well, let me tell you how long have you been playing? Oh my god Well the first time I was playing tennis I remember because it was like a Tuesday And I'm like what am I even doing out here on a Tuesday? I should be in school and I was like a school Okay, so this is my sister Danielle and we my dad is so mad that we were not the Williams sisters. So instead we're just

regular sisters. So then Danielle joins and so they're all playing tennis. You know somewhere Hannah Berner was watching being like In pain watching this tennis school. I should have trademark Summer house tennis. This is bullshit Is terrible work. So Gabby is talking about how she has, she's had a crazy work. She's having a crazy week this week because she got two job offers, but she has therapy tomorrow because she's not sure what job offer to take because I have been like, I've been working in the fashion industry since I graduated college. And like like I became a fashion director of a magazine that

seemed to have everything that I wanted and it should have to be one of the worst jobs I could have ever possibly taken. And I ignored the very essential signs the job was not right for me. I learned this because my job actually went to Coachella and hired someone else there. So our job totally made out with another employee at Coachella, which is ridiculous. Like, Ding, job, Ding, other, other employee at Coachella. Daniel's like, Hey, guys, I just got a new job at a magazine.

Yeah. So she says, basically, I got fired. So now with these other job offers, I'm like second casting. Okay, this is a very young person new to the job scene, way to describe it, right? Like I should have known that was not meant to be, like it was not tailored to me. I got fired. Sinc what do you do? Why are you blaming the job like it hurt you emotionally,

you know? And I like when she said, I've worked in the fashion industry, and then it shows her in a picture, it shows her, it shows a picture of her, rather with two friends. And she's in ripped like light blue jeans and a tied crop top.

And then she's with girls who are wearing see-through rain coats and one has cut off shorts and one is in spandex pants. I was like, oh, to be a poor fashionista again. I miss that. It's like, you guys, I'm cutting my shorts. It's time to party. I'm an influencer.

Yeah, I just love, well, first of all, I mean, her intuition does seem like it might be a little wonky given that boyfriend and et cetera. But also, and also, by the way, another issue with her intuition is her, that like her ideal man is a male model, that's a bad intuition to have. But I mean, I get it, but it's a bad intuition. But also though, that being said, this whole thing of like, I'm just, I'm saying guessing myself because like,

I'm not sure about my intuition, I'm not sure if this will be a good job for me. I'm like, well, you're unemployed. So take a job. And if it's not a good job, like find a new job. Like that's kind of how working works, right? I mean, I guess. So Gabby's like, you know, I'm a tourist. And so like my stability, like I don't like taking a step with that knowing where my butt is going to look.

No one does, okay? You'll be fine. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. I'm Michelle's, here comes one right now. sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2 starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So Danielle, sister Danielle is like, um, what I want for you is to trust yourself again because you were like a gun shy, like, am I making the right choice? Listen, this is about what you want. What do you want?

What do you want? No, just get a paycheck for crying out loud. So I'm just two job offers. I don't know. So now we go. I don't think that's ever happened to me. Like you notice I'm being silent over here. This is just literally never happened to me. I've never had two job offers at this time. I don't even think's never happened to me. Like you notice I'm being silent to be here. This has just literally never happened to me.

I've never had two job offers at the same time. I don't even think I've had one. I don't think I've had one when I've gone and interviewed and they're like, okay, I mean, I get, that's like the most excited they get for me. They're like, okay, I guess. I'm like, no, I can show up like today. I can work right now.

Where's the uniform? I can put it on, like, okay, I mean, I'm like, I'll work for less than minimum weight. Okay, I guess, that's what I get. I've never had two people like, would you like to come work here? Can we show you around the office? I've literally never been courted like that.

I've gotten jobs, I've gotten jobs, I've worked, you know what, I'm wearing it, but I've never been courted. There's one time, one time I failed upwards to an interview process. When I was driving Uber, I signed up at like a temp agency and like I went in for like, I don't know, Sony invited me in for something. They and it was some random job and then they kept on. I was so not meant for that role, but they were fascinated by the fact that I was an intern for Conan back in 1998, and they just kept on inviting me back for higher and higher interviews.

And I literally, like, I could have had this crazy job at Sony, but I didn't want to do it, because it was going to mess up with this podcast, and it was also like, it could be a terrible job. I was just one of those things where it was like, I'm not qualified for this at all, but like, it was just sort of one of those crazy things where like they just liked one random thing I might on my resume and they were just like they just kept on asking they were like so what was Conan like what was Conan Like and it would just get me to the next level of the of the interview. Oh, I like that It was I think it's like I still talk about Conan or you're just trying to get

Trying to get coached. Yeah, you're trying to get close from watch out crap. And the smart, the smart, the sky's gonna be like, hey, so man, what's going on? I, we'll learn that it's calling you. My internship from 25 years ago, gosh, but like, no, just to me was funny because it was like, I showed no interest in this job, but like, that like failing, failing through a process can really happen, you know?

Yeah, it was exciting to fail through something. Yeah, I like it. And now failing through things are done. A lot of failing through things. Like if that was a sport, I would have a medal in that one. But yeah, getting a job offer is now, no one courts me here. They're just like, he's not leaving.

Okay, well, you see this through have taken those tables. So I guess we'll let him work here. I'm like, what are you gonna do? He literally won't leave. What's easier? Letting him sell our food or calling the police like every day that he's still here.

Well, you never know, Ronnie, there could be a great job offer for you around the corner. Finkers crossed. Okay, everybody. Just kidding, could you imagine? Well, you never know, Ronnie, there could be a great job offer for you around the corner. Finkers crossed. Okay, everybody just kidding. Good to you, Matin. I'm like Ben, sorry, really good restaurants called by. So your favorite, one of our favorites.

Gotta get away, gotta get away. So now we're in Jersey, okay, because, you know, like everybody's dream vacation visiting your retired mom on the beach So does Carl know anybody? That's my question does Carl know anybody outside of Lindsay anymore because all he ever shoots with is his mom Do I like his mom sure sweet lady? But what else does Carl do? I'm not sure He's becoming the Erika Jane of Summer House.

Like does he have anyone outside the TV show. So, yeah, so Sharon now, I guess is she living on the Jersey Shore or something like that? All I know is that she used to live in Pittsburgh and she had to take like an 18 hour bus ride to get up and come out to the Hampton. So she's probably like, you know what? I'm just going to live a little bit closer

so I don't take that wretched ride to see my son once a year. I'm gonna show. Yeah, so they're there. He's like, mom, she's like, baby, I love you so much. I'm like, mom, I love you so much. And so they talk about, he's like, my mom is my anchor. Cause she reminds me, I'm capable of persevering and that's like, one of the best feelings you've enough as a feeling like the like, I'm like, oh, sir, I'm not sure. I'm capable of persevering. That's like, one of the best feelings you've been out of.

As a feeling, like, that I can persevering. I like that it's not the best. I can persevere is not one of the best feelings you can have. Okay? Like, I'm full. That's one of the best feelings. Or like, I don't know, sex or something, but I've never woken up and gone.

I'm capable of persevering. Yeah! Goddamn that feels good. Well some might argue that sex is persevering. Either way, no matter what. That's true, especially these days. Good Lord. I'm just like, are you done yet? Can I put this thing away? I'm exhausted. How long do you need? No, you you know what's interesting is that persevering is, oh, I think I misspelled the wrong. I was gonna ask him, it's just so weird that like,

severe is in persevering. And then like, it's like surviving. I was gonna make a really, a thought, something that seemed really, you know, thoughtful and profound to me about the word persevere. And then I realized, no, I'm just caffeinated. So either way, like, over, over like Shirley taught me about like like She reminds me I'm like cable all the like overcoming things and persevering without being said. I will bury her if I have to okay. I will bury her

So the mom who's always been super weird about Carl in relationships, she's always had a super, I like she seems to neg him whenever he's dating so much. She's like, are you sure Carl? Are you sure you're into this girl? Are you sure you want a date, Carl? And some of that has been because of sobriety issues, right? Where she's like, is it too soon for you? But even before then, like ever since we've met Carl's mom, she's like, you're seeing someone?

Really, Carl, how's that going? So she's doing that right now. She's like, how are you like living with a girl? Carl, is that a pain in the ass? He's like, no, she has no seriously, Carl. No, it's not. Like we're like a good team. Like we're great.

Like when we put on like matching pajamas, like we're unstoppable. And like I've always wanted that. Like she challenges me. She pushes me. She makes me think differently. She sort of like holds things over my head about like how this she got like sober for me.

Like she just wants me to be a better person. And like I haven't had a drink in nine months. And it's because of Lindsay's support. Oh. I'm trying to find out who I am without alcohol. And you know what's funny about Carl? We're interesting about Carl, I should say. As I've always noticed, he has this best little boy in the world side of him.

Like when he's around his mom, he's always like, you're the best mom, like, you're the best mom. I just, I mean, for your mom, you're a costier lady. And he has this like side where he's just like sweet little boy Carl and then he has this whole fuck boy ridiculous side. And like now that he's with Lindsay, he, that best little boy side that he,

we would see him coming out with his mom is really all over Lindsay now too. So I wonder if there's some weird like mommy, like thing that's happening with Lindsay as well in the situation. Just my pop psychology observation on the fly off the cuff. Yeah. You know, yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah, I can see that.

I think he's. Lindsay has a monster to him. His mom doesn't seem like controlling or overbearing at all, but Lindsay does. So I'm wondering if it's like now that he's got that type of energy in his life if he just doesn't know what to do. Because it just looks stressful, you know?

Because a lot of this conflict is Lindsay. It is Lindsay and Kyle and Amanda having conflict that she's dragging over onto Carl. And so I don't know, I don't see that kind of energy with his mom, but maybe it's because he's never had that kind of energy in his life that it's really affecting him. Because he looks like he's about to pop.

Like when all that stuff is happening and he's staying quiet, he doesn't look like he necessarily wants to yell at them. He also really doesn't want to upset Lindsay, you know? So super interesting watching Carl on this journey. I'm not really sure it's gonna end. I have a feeling it's not gonna end with Lindsay and that's gonna be a fun season. Wow, that'll be wild.

Well, you know what, I'm not gonna tough conversations in general. And I don't want to hurt the other person, so I hold back. So like, but you know, like, you have your best friend, go off on your girlfriend, and like, it hurts my feelings big time. And like, there's a deep anger inside Kyle, and I'm not sure how to handle it beyond, you know, burning him. Burning you, burning you, burning you. and you brought me to burial. And so then they talked about his brother and how his brother basically saved his life because Carl really had to take a good

look at himself to make a change. And so he cries with his mom and his feet. So then we go to Sam and Chris and Gabby driving back to the house. And Gabby's like, I have to say, I'm happy because I got my hair done and Divina and I are really in a good place. And then it says under Divina, Gabby's hairdresser. And we have to assume. Finally in a good place. We have to assume that is a selling sunset reference, right?

Like we have to assume she named her hair after, after Divina from selling sunset. Yeah. Oh, this is Gabby's hair and not her hair dresser. That's even better. No, it's her hair. It's her hair dresser. Well, I think it was, it's that her hair. I just like to,

No, nobody would name their hair after Divina. Nobody, like Divina, Divina who can't sell anything and who's all insecure and trying to fit in. No. Her hair shows up sort of dressed awkwardly. Just trying to hang out with the other hair. So, um, uh, yeah, so there's gonna Gabby is planning it. I want to be curly today.

It's like, oh god, Divina, I said no, we're straightening today. But I want to be curly. So I'm gonna just do it. Like, I'm independent hair. So I want to be curly. I can be curly. Ugh. Yeah, that really hurt me. So Gabby is planning a Studio 54-ists party. So we have like glimmers of the first real party of the season coming up. And yeah, so she's excited.

She loves Studio 54 and just going things like that. So then Dan Yell arrives at the house and Paige is just there by herself, which I think is funny. I'm like wondering how did Paige get to the house? She's just like, they're alone. Like, well, I guess I'll be here. Only fashion needs to hear. I'm just arriving at a home alone.

Just me. Just me. Well, I guess she was probably at home all week because of her parents, so she probably just came that way. Yeah, watching Paige just walk around the house by herself. Hmm. I wonder how much they paid for this. I think that's what it was. Or she's just doing like, she's practicing for her next access Hollywood gig. Hi, I'm Paige Deserba, and I'm here to give you all the fashion tips and trends. Follow me.

Are you a size two? I'm so sorry if you are. Don't worry, that's easy to fix. Any who? She's just holding a vase as a microphone. So Danielle comes and pages alone and pages like, oh my God, hi, I'm all by myself. Danielle's like, at least you have your Louis Vuitton. Ha ha ha. She's like, oh yes, I guess I do.

So you can leave then. Hmm. So, well, like, oh yes, I guess I do. So you can leave then. Hmm. So, uh, well, well, now we actually have two knockoffs of my Louis Vuitton and you. So, welcome. So, it's like, so, how was that today? Daniel's like, uh, we, and she pours this huge glass of wine. She's like, wait a summer party and then we play games and it's so dramatically, because I unintentionally heard

a Mattis feelings and then Lindsay started piggybacked on a Mattis stuff and then I was games and it's so dramatically because I unintentionally heard Amanda's feelings and then Lindsay's toward a piggybacked on Amanda's stuff and then I was like oh no and then Kyle was like fuck Lindsay and then Carl left. Pages like, Pages like damn it, I'd have liked to see that. So she's like have they not spoken and Danielle's like no and I'm like I can't wait for the weekend right. Pages classic wow, wow. So, I'm gonna make a gift of that classic, wow. In Page Talk, that's her really just losing her mind

with excitement. Yeah. So, I'm just like, wow, I'm like, I'm so excited. This is crazy. Sorry for this emotional display um yes so she it Kyle is on the phone cam because he's at his parents this week with the dogs and he's like hey it's us we're on the phone camera right now hey man to show him what it looks like when you cry saying all right we're gonna save that one case. You need it later. And then the else like, yeah, you know, I think it's good.

It's good for them to be doing that because a good wholesome family day or two does this so good. And pages like it really does. It just like brings you back to Earth, you know, you realize you can still be happy around people who wear JC Penning. So then let's see Chris Gabby and Sam arrive and hugs and hugs and he cares.

So my answer arrived and I was like, wait, Sierra, this is the biggest glass of was ever seen. Who do you think I am? I'm an aspiring Bravo star, so a drink up. So then Sam is like, oh my God. Last night I had a date with that Australian guy, Tim. It was like really good. Like he called me a car. So I wouldn't know where I was going. Until we got there, it was like an abandoned warehouse deep in Brooklyn. And I believe I saw a

chainsaw. It was hilarious and discussing. Anyway, he's dating Sharon now. You guys, it was great. He sent me a car and he saw I wouldn't know where we were going and it was a suburban, a super black one guys. It was a super black suburban. A page goes how did it end? She's like um happily everyone was satisfied on the way out and handed him a hand in the mint on the way out. So then they all blew from my end Sierra who are coming in and Danielle, she comes, Sierra comes up to page and page goes, oh my god, are you gonna hug me? We never hug. I know. Stop that. I know I've been around normals, but like this is too much. So Sam says that her date's gonna come to the party.

You know, so that way we can just like have okay chemistry and then he can go off and start dating a gay icon. I said maybe Celine Dion would be a good fit for him. I'm not sure. And then she's just, but she's saying that they have great chemistry, which means it's gonna fall apart. And then Paige is talking about Chris. She's like, oh, by the way, Chris, you're here still.

Do you date? Do people like you? Do people enjoy your company? I'm so curious. Are you better at talking when you're out of the house? The newer when you're here, how's that going? And he's like, oh yeah, I've been on dates. She's, so one date or like a second date.

I guess, uh, no, not like a really serious second date. She's, okay, so for first date, do you usually take girls to dinner or he goes, on the first date? No, never dinner. Interesting. Looorrrr. She's like, wow, you're really making Carl's pancake lunch date look pretty good now. You're gonna have so much fun dying alone.

And he's like, I mean, I just feel like dinner is a lot because like you're committed to a full two hours. I mean, you go to the place, you order the food, eat the food. Like, what if you just met me and you don't like me and like within 30 minutes, do you really want to have dinner with me too? I'm paid just like um I'm hungry. So look at that. I don't like you and I can still eat. Isn't that crazy? Have that works? Gabby Gabby's like um okay so we all acknowledge that Chris is boring right okay so let's talk about my dating life. My dating life is going nowhere. I mean I had a date with a tourist guy and I was like

absolutely not and ironically he also drove a four-tourist, which did not work in his favor. Oh, why do you keep the door so far close? Open the doors, Danielle. And Paige is like, oh my god, Danielle just described it perfectly. By the way, I like Danielle a lot right now, everybody, because she's starting to slowly go against Lindsay. So can we just get a cheers for Danielle? Cheers. And Gabby's like, my door isn't close, you guys. So I'm just, sounds pretty close to me. You know, last door that I found close,

I was like, this door better fucking open. I was like, can I get a suburban to take me through this door? Preferably, I really, really back one. Black is suburban you've got. Make it black is night. Rev it went right through that door. It was amazing. I met so many people there. You know, I really love making cake Okay, all right, Sam. All right, Sam. Well, we settle down there. Hey, you know what? Hi, this Danielle speaking

I know you went to therapy like literally yesterday But maybe we can get an emergency session am I right everyone high five high five? Well, I'll I'll pretend to laugh at that because I'm trying to move Daniel. Ha ha Daniel that was funny. And Gaby gets offended. She's like, um, do you not think I have stable energy? And she's like, well now that you mention it, it's crazy because my best friends are Taurus's. So I know there's a pause. Well, yeah. Gabby tries to realize that she's just defended all the tourist lovers. And Sierra goes, I mean, anyway, oh my God, now you guys are gonna not like this girl because she has a thing for tourists,

a thing against tourists. Yeah, I love this show. I love this show. Meanwhile, outside, here we are, babes. Oh, here we are, babes. Hey, baby, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are bibs. We made it. Yeah, they have great work. Hold on, what do we have here? Hi, hi, hi, hi.

What's going on? Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi in parking lot that has a free monitoring charge section. So that was great. Hey, have I told you all about my ride? Want me to tell you about my ride? It's a tell your ride. Yeah. See what I did there was a joke. Want me to tell you about another ride? It's my mom, my rider, die.

So. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. So this year I was like, how's Carl doing? You left Carl, you left so fast last week. And then he's like, yeah, we were like ready to get the fuck out of there. Like, how was like saying all this shit about me?

And like, I just want nothing to do with him right now. You know what I mean? And I was like, yeah, Carl's really calm while that was happening. And it sounds like, you know what? Like, do you think it's gonna be weird when they get here tomorrow? And she's like, you know what? Like do you think it's gonna be weird when they get here tomorrow? And she's like, oh, I know, no.

So they're all at the plants to go out to a bar tonight. And I think the AC is out in the house because there's like fans everywhere. And now like every time they're talking in the house, you're just, you're, in the background. So they're all like hot and sweating. And then like page and Sierra, page is like telling Sierra that she's like, oh my god, I've never noticed here for

China before. It's like so cute and tiny. Like it's adorable. It's like the page of Sarpo of a China's. And when I was like, yeah, that's like a really dainty vagina. So it's really nice. So then they all leave for the club. And then she's like, oh, I feel like we're calling to get bus to green t-shirts. And then she's doing like hugging staring at each other's eyes and she's like why are you so handsome all the time you wake up as um it's so unfair like I'm like why is he so good loving why oh I'm just so happy I'm just so happy she's like babe and they're in the house watching and she's like I just count sometimes and she tells us I'm doing nails watching and she's like, I just count some times.

And she tells us, I'm just not used to seeing them isolate themselves. It's like, they're on this pedestal and I'm just down here waving like, hey guys, remember me? Still down, yell! I think she's not really, it's yeah, it's more like they're on the train and she's on the platform waiting for the L.I. I don't know that I'm not so they're dancing and then pages pages like you want to talk to boys and Gabby's like yeah but I want any there are numbers I'm not close off for anything though so they're just and then Sam is doing her like very awkward white girl twerking like guys guys, I know how to twerk. I'm with my butt a little bit.

Sam does that thing where she like bends over and then she just squats a couple of times. And that's not really a twerk. But thanks for trying. Thanks for being another white girl trying to twerk on the profile. I know. We were really running low on those.

And Kargo goes, oh hey, Sam. Whoa, oh, oh, be careful. That brings all the boys to the yard, I'm sure. Oh, no shake, shock, everybody. There's no shock. Y'all, no shake. Buy the singer, K-Lus, y'all. So then, they go back to the house.

It's like 11.42 p.m. They go to bed. They're everyone, it's pretty early days. I mean, not really days. It's like they they go sleep pretty early these days. So um gabby is saying, I have to say that being in this house and having perspective from people that don't know me well, it's like really making me reexamine the way people see me and that's like very interesting to me. I love how people see me as someone who has a very closed door to guys when I feel like I'm very, very open to all these men who I will not talk to or get

numbers from. Because they're toruses. And it sounds like I have questions like how do you think people see you? Well, I feel like I've been like very secure and like set like this person. Like I know what I want and like I go after it. But like I have a repress undoubt with trauma from Coachella. And it's like affected me to where I just don't like trust my judgment, especially with job offers. I feel like so immobilized. It's like one job offer has this really amazing,

you know, office kitchen. And I'm like, that could be amazing. I could keep so many lunches in that fridge. But the other job offer has great parking spots. And I just don't know my own instincts anymore. Yeah, I've never heard someone just describe their life like that. Like, you know, I'm normally a confident person

until it comes to job offers. So Danielle's like, you know, I feel like that's so honest that you're saying like, oh my God, I'm confused. And Gabby's like, yeah, it scares the shit out of me. Like, what if one of my bosses is just tourists? Like, what am I gonna do? And so I'm like, yeah, that's like a whole level of self-awareness. Like, you know, like, I'm really self-aware. I really noticed I was self-aware when I was like looking in the mirror and I like noticed that I had a pimple on my chin.

I was like, you're like noticing that in your reflection before you ever noticed it on your person. Like, that is like, it's so... The lights just go off on her at the... Everyone's out of the room, the lights are off. So everybody's going to bed. And Lindsay is on top of Carl doing that fucking baby voice, which I can't.

She's like, hey, let me in so much. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, but like, really, I love you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm sure he appreciates. I'm sure your sober boyfriend appreciates you

pinning him down and breathing green tee shots into his face. Gross. Put your weight on me. Y'all. So then now it's the morning and now it's a continuation. How much do you think you love me today? Oh, a thousand times plus like a thousand times a billion plus three oceans, which is kind of wild

because like oceans are actually are not a mathematical unit, but like if they were, like that's how much I love you. I bend all space time and math for you. Yeah. And all three oceans are completely risen to like their like their levels are bigger than normal. I love you three oceans with melted ice caps and then they're just like a little more full than usual y'all. You want to go to buried boot camp? So they do and then Gabby's like so how do I like outsourced decorating this party? And Daniel goes, you get some of the decorate for you? And she's like, yeah, of course. So Carl Lindsey drive away. And so there's like no tequila in the house.

There's actually very few bottles of booze because Kyle isn't there that weekend. So the resident alcoholic or like the resident unofficial alcoholic is not there providing all the booze so Well, it's also a free lover boy. You know what I mean? So with that and bringing all the free booze to promote his stuff. They're like, what do we drink? I know so apparently they only have rosé and so my and Dan Danielle are like laughing But they're like we need to have a meeting or whatever so Danielle's like

like we need to have a meeting or whatever. So Danielle's like, um, Danielle's like, so this morning, she was like, am I going to set it up? And I was like, yeah, it's your party. And she's like, normally I would hire someone to do that. Like, oh, my God, like we need to have a talk. We need to have a talk, Abby. Uh, this is crazy. Your party planning skills.

Yeah. Um, and let's see here. Robert calls Danielle and she's like, oh my god, bubble. She's saying hi. I'm gonna help Gabby. We're having a day party. It's gonna be great.

Oh my god, you're so cute. I can't even take out cute. He's just like, fun. Sound of dial tone. So Maya and Danielle are talking and... To do this part. It's all sort of like a mix. Basically, they confront Gabby and they're like, listen, we need to Keela and Gabby's like,

well, we're going to have an alcohol delivery. And they're like, what about food for this party? And she's like, it's not a food party. And they're like, it's not even an alcohol party right now. Yeah. Yeah. It's like very upset with her approach to this party. Right. Because I think she thinks, okay, it's my turn. So production does it. Right. I

just say I want something in the forest and then production will do it. But no, that's not how it works. So my, so yeah, when Patriots, there's no food. Patriots, um, pardon. So then the girls are helping Gabby and they um, they're doing what does this party tell us about you and Gabby's like access extra extra everything except food and alcohol. Yeah, she goes everything's always extra extra extra and peach goes read all about it. Hey, I wonder if these disco balls float. She puts one in the water. She gets sick. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe She said she's not like used to setting up decoration. She's usually higher or someone and Sierra is like

My eyes like yeah, I haven't like cracked the Gabi code yet And they're like Sierra's like yeah very surface with everything's very surface and they basically are like She just seems like really privileged, which is fine But like I'm missing out on the authenticity of it all. Like, I hate to break it to you guys. You're having this discussion about how privilege is while you're in the Hampton. You're all sitting there sharing a fucking summer house in the Hampton, okay? I mean, all Gabby did was say, like, oh, like she woke up, it was like, I don't want to do this, I want to hire someone.

I want to, like, went to like task rabbit or something like that. I only get that crazy. Yeah. So then we see Kyle playing with the dogs, you know, just great. And then Lindsay, Carl and Chris and Sam are working out at buried boot camp and Carl's wearing a t-shirt. And I wrote, Carl's t-shirt is hilarious. What is that?

What does his t-shirt say? And why wouldn't I write it down? I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell. I don't remember what his t-shirt is hilarious. What is that? What is his t-shirt say and why wouldn't I write it down? I couldn't tell I couldn't tell I don't I don't remember what his t-shirt said. I didn't write it down myself But why would I write that? No, what is that or maybe his shirt said that? I don't know But he's like, oh, I love a good word. Oh, oh, love it Chris is like you guys ready for it And oh, and then I see that that wasn't Carl's shirt. What was the shirt, idiot? What does it say? Oh, Chris wasn't wearing a shirt at this part. I'm such an idiot. I don't know. I quit. It's a mystery. We'll never get to the bottom of it. We'll never know. And so it sounds like, did you like, are you ready to see Colin Manning out? And he's like, I was

so fucking angry. I'd like walk away from that. Like, it shows some respect, bro. Like, I don't wanna be around people. They're like, tree people like that. Because that's like, oh, well, I'm not gonna like be around. And back at the house page, it's like, so when Kyle was yelling at people and Kyle wasn't sticking up for her, like, did Lindsey get mad?

What was she like? What was the feeling like? Was it tense? Did she look older than usual? Just like, and check this gossip into my veins right now. And Danielle's like, I'm surprisingly no. It just seemed like such a passive way to handle the situation.

Like, if she said something, like, I didn't, I mean, if she said something to him, I didn't know about it. And she was like, do you think they're ignoring the conversation so that they don't have to have that? Because, like, sounds like the best plan, honestly. I can't, Danielle, what the hell? It sounds like the way I approach dating.

So Danielle's like, well, then they have to face a lot of things including a sobriety. And the fact that she wants to start drinking again. She is drinking again and at first I was some wine here and there and then the page was like, yeah, and then last night she took a shot. And then I heard that she was like, fun-ling beers.

And then I heard that she knocked over her walker because she was so wasted. Yeah, last night. And I told her, Lindsey, your old bones, probably heard, like I called her and left her a message. And then I heard that she was in a bathtub like filled with teetos. Just like working on her muscles. And then I heard that she was in a bathtub like filled with tea does just like

working on her muscles. I said Lindsay, I know you keep clutching that beer, but that's not your life alert. Okay, you have to be careful. You're too drunk to know what they're one of the things that can save you if you fall in the bathroom and can't get up. And she's saying, you know, that shouldn't be on her too. His sobriety shouldn't necessarily be on her. And I get it. I don't necessarily think it should be either except that he's very insecure in his sobriety. Like he's not

he and what I mean by that is, I get all the time. Like, you know, I thought they were saying the opposite. I thought page says that it should be on her too. Like, if she's saying no, that's not a big deal. It shouldn't be on her too. But then Sierra is like, but it's part of his journey. And when my mom and my dad, he was sober and they couldn't even have alcohol at their wedding. You know, so. No, that's what I'm saying is that they that they're saying like, look, you can't. What's here? She is. Oh, okay. Like, okay. I thought what Paige was saying is like,

you can't say like, oh, I'm gonna be sober. And then you're going back to drinking. No, she was saying. You shouldn't be drinking. No, she was saying, you know, she took a shot, which I also don't feel like is a big deal. I mean, it shouldn't be on her too. And Sierra's like, yeah, because it's part of his journey,

you know, and I think that would be hard if you're trying to go sober. But, and it's not only because someone's drinking, but they're drinking in situations where you really want to drink. You know what I mean? It's not like a drink at dinner. It's like when you're out partying and you think,

God, you know what would make this more fun, a drink, and then your partner's out drinking and then making out with you and breathing it all in your face. Yeah. That I wouldn't be able to do it. Like I couldn't date somebody right now who loved peanut M&M so I wanted to kiss me because I'm trying to not eat peanut M&Ms.

Yeah, I actually think you're right that the booze, the smell of booze on the breath is probably hard. So, or peanut M&Ms. And so Sierra's, then they're starting talking about like that duet that they're gonna, they are basically asking, like do you guys think they're going too fast and Sierra's like,

you know, she's like the fact that they're already in this serious relationship is a lot. And Danielle's like a hundred, a thousand percent, they already got a car together, a key hotel you ride. I mean, that's a lot. And she's already like, oh, this is the kind of ring I like, which also is a key hotel you ride.

I don't even understand how that works. And then like, you know, like to think that they would get like engaged right now, that would be crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's like a fairy tale. And then like, you know, like to think that they would get like engaged right now, that would be crazy. Yeah, I mean, it's like a fairy tale. And they're living in this insanely expensive key at tell you right? I mean, it feels fragile.

It feels fragile. Not the car, the car is great. Just their, just their relationship. Car is dependable. The key will last longer than their relationship. It might. So that brings us to the end of Summer House and... Thanks everyone for being here.

Appreciate you greatly. And, um, yeah, go get tickets to see us next weekend Denver in Salt Lake City. And we'll catch you on the next episode. Bye! Bye! Watch what crap ends, would like to thank its premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone.

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We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Shannon out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Couture. We love you guys. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watercraft and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. We love you guys! Kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry

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