Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Carltastrophe

Episode Date: February 16, 2018

This week on Summer House, Carl charms one woman by yelling at another and Kyle farts a lot. This week's bonus episode is a deep dive into both Mario Odyssey and Celebrity Big Brother! To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Chicago, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy and also our super premium sponsors. Our lucky little grand topper, Kelly Grant. And Lizzie Drucker, she's a fun mother. We love you guys. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crappy love to talk about on Geo Bros. I'm Ronnie Karem from the Rosepricks Bachelor podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous little friend, Ben Madelka,

of the B side blog, The Banta Blender, and many other dental startups. And we're actually new to the city. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? You know, I went to the dentist yesterday. So it's like so appropriate that you said that. Did you use Carl's discount code?

I did and somehow my teeth are darker now. It's like youth code smile. Code more life, bro. Welcome to the summer house episode of the week. Before we get into that, we have a bunch of live shows coming up go to watch what crap and calm to get your tickets we are probably coming to your city because I think we're going to every city yeah pretty much every city every city in North America every single single

ever city ever ever ever So do you have a verse? So go over there watch at crappens.com and what else being? Not much else. I'm just I'm excited that we're finally getting to talk about summer house because I love this show It's so Stupid and yet I get wrapped up in it even every episode. I'm like well nothing once again nothing's really happening and by the end of the episode I am just like

Caught up in it. I don't know why I don't know. I do not know why I don't know why what I'm into it It doesn't happen on every single bravo show But a lot of the our favorite bravo shows have these beautiful music cues and this show is one of those shows I just love that they have their songs that they paid some fool with the garage band probably off freelancer.com or something to make and they still use them over and over because they're becoming number one hit some ahead. For example, come on, it's a strong move. I mean, it's hard to, you know, it's hard to be that earworm of a theme song. And I don't know. Living in a spotlight, doing a slime line.

Freedom song. Oh. It's just like this, like someone like pushed the singer off a cliff while she was recording. It's like okay Eric. This isn't even your show get off of it. So this week's episode picks up directly with the last one and did we're in a post Shinakhach space. They're going back.

We said that because it's a Jewish holiday on the show. No, it's because that's a Danielle. They're called the Sennakaks. They're called the Sennakaks. Danielle's Danielle pronounces Shinakhach. So I'm just trying to be authentic to Danielle. And there's a whole book. Yeah. So they're driving back.

And the ones like, that wasn't experienced, I'll never forget. Carl, are you going to forget it? Did you forget it? Carl, can I remind you about the Shackaks? Carl, do you forget? Do you remember now? Forget. Carl. Carl. Hey, Carl, are you about shiny-cocks? Guys, does that make you think about mocks? It might be thinking about mocks. Is it weird?

Don't forget to check for text. Guys, check for text. got to check for text guys guys guys I think they're text text guys. So for text guys check for take as text text lines these lines right line Yeah, 11's a running up line limsey's leg and Lizzie. That's more action that I've gotten single wingsy You and then they're like motorboating Yeah, and someone asked us last week. Did we just miss Lauren taking off her top and dancing around I think so we believe I missed it Well, I don't think we talked about it, but of course I saw it, but I just

I think it was that weird. I guess it didn't stand out to me as being something weird. I was like, oh, Laura's got her titties out again. I like literally did not see it. I think I was I was looking down on my notes or something because I missed it entirely. There's a lot like that on this show that's just silent. You know, you have to watch. It's one of it.

It's like one of those really dark TV mystery dramas where you can't be on your cell phone because there's clues in the silence It's a visual medium, you know, and Summer House works on two levels. It's both the sounds and the sights of the summer house And you know, you can tell the season is finally back in full swing because guess what they started doing And you can tell the season is finally back in full swing because guess what they are doing, making BBC's, it's the summer house drink, which we all know BBC stands for both the British Broadcasting Channel Corporation and also Big Black Hawk. They're making their Big Black Hawk. You know, you really know that you're just a shady pervert who is going to die in a fiery

pit of hell for eternity when the first thing I think of is the wrong BBC. It didn't even dawn on me until you just said it, that it's the BBC, you know, the British Channel, like that. No, when I see BBC, the very first thing, I think, oh, okay, big black cock. And that's like, if you're on grind, like there's certain things like codes on grinder or scrub or jack or whatever, or just in gay, just in gay. Someone says BBC it sounds for Big Black cock but of course here it's like oh it's like Bailey's a banana and I don't know what the C was even. Kala.

The BBC network. Cream. Well a wet sight's getting a lot of hits but there doesn't seem to be much playthrough. No it's finishing a video. I just don't understand why. It's like they're going to get sued for false advertising pretty quick. Yeah. Maybe you should be the British Broadcasting Network.

Change it to the end. Yeah. Confusing. So, yeah, so they're making BBC's. And then they go off to a friend's house and they're just like partying at the friend's house and Kyle gets wasted on the couch and Amanda's all embarrassed about Kyle, you know, because she hates that he's drunk all the time. We have a friend in our group circle that's like Kyle.

He goes and he gets wasted and he falls asleep. He will fall asleep anywhere, okay? We could be like, look, it's a fireworks show. He'll be asleep. He will fall asleep anywhere. Okay, we could be like, look, it's a firework show. He'll be like fall, he'll be asleep. One time we fell asleep against a popcorn machine in a bar. You know, they had like one of those carnival pop-up machines. Any broke his head. And we didn't even care. Because that's a ticket for falling asleep. That is, yeah, that's what you get. That's what you get. That's the power. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that

that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that sounds like Paramore. That's what you get when you break your hot art. Whoa. Whatever that song was. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. Sleep in the Hamptons. Gonna sleep now. Far in bed. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. Girl. Girl. He's a girl. Girl. Girl. And I run this world because I'm a woman. It's like actually girl rhymed with worlds. You could have just kept it that way. Who runs the world? Girls, Ed wayman.

Oh. No, you ruined it. So Amanda's annoyed that he falls asleep. And then he's suddenly awake and running away from her in a parking lot. Yeah. Kyle is very much like a sleep awake, a sleep awake. It's kind of hard to understand his patterns because he'll be passed out and then you'll

see him like walking, they'll be passed out again, then walking, then passed out. Been running, just running like crazy. She's like, come back here, you little shithead. So she's chasing him around and then it's 321 AM because it can never just be like 315 in the morning or 320. It's always got to be like yeah, the exact time stamp. 2.29 PM. Yeah, so they come back and they like get into bed and Amanda's so annoyed at a

kai on he gets into bed and he just like farts on her. Well, first he was, he just went straight to the fridge. She ran to bed. Oh, yeah, because she was like he just went straight to the fridge. She ran to bed. Oh, yeah. Because she was like preparing like to go to bed so she could have the bed fight. But she's like, you just hate my being at, you know, she's like ready for the talk. And he goes straight towards the fridge and get some bean dip or something out of there. And eats it standing up.

And then he finishes the whole thing and then he goes, ew, look out. Delayed taste, like hell. Delayed taste but response. And then so he starts pissing all over the place. And he's like, he goes to bed and she's like, what am I like boring? Why can't you just be with me? When they have to be so drunk all the time, and he's like,

I mean Amanda, you know what you signed up for here. I mean, it's Kyle. He's Kyle. So then, So Kyle. So then... So then... So then... So then... So then...

So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then...

So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then... So then It's like, oh my god, you're right, you're right, you're right. I'm not going to. I'm not. I'm not even thinking about Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl you sleep Carl Carl you sleep you sleep you sleep you need some company Carl. See me goes. Oh my god Actually goes to her room and then sneaks back away like he's not gonna hear and then he's here Stephen

Here's the bed creaking and knocking on the wall. He's like, oh my god creaking and knocking on the wall. He's like, oh my god. I can't. So then it's like 10 thirty in the morning and people are starting to walk around and then we see Steven in bed. And Danielle has come in and she's like, you really have ocean noises on right now. And he's like, it's gentle rain, which is his way of saying, get the fuck out of my bed. I want to sleep at 6 in the morning until I 10 30. Go away. Go away, how about that? Yes, go away. And he's like, I like Danielle, which is shocking because Carl doesn't have the best taste in people.

Yeah, then they shut, I think cut to a meat walking, walking through the hallway, poor meat. His, his, his like, his bowl is like bouncing around. No one cared. No one cared. A meat was shirtless in the kitchen at one point. The camera's like, who cares? It's time for some video. Bravo didn't even bother blurring out the bowl, it's bopping around.

Like, ah, no one's really gonna be looking at a meat anyway. And he's like, ah meat. And he's like, ah meat. Which I love that he has that. I have one of those. And guess where it's from. You guessed it. Rob stress for this. where it's from you guessed it

Rock dress for this and it's wonderful. I feel so like Russian and like powerful and by fur blanket Yeah, so he's in bed with Danielle and he's like I'm not somebody And she goes oh my god, who was it tell me the story and he's like Tell you an amen I'm in like pull some blanket over his head. He's like, he's like TLDR. It's 10 in the morning and I got home. I got home at 6 in the morning, Danielle, like how clear I don't have to make this.

Bye. So then she goes and walks into Carl and Lauren's bedroom and she's like, hi, I'm Danielle. And they're like, eh, you know. She's like, I'm tired too. And Lauren's like, seriously, Carl, seriously seriously seriously. Why she's here? Why she oh She'll do love me. Oh, couple whatever they want But like she just jumped back in so quickly, you know, and she says she has one leg in but no girl

That's two legs that are in Andrew but Andrew's and your head because it was in a bed all of you was in there Okay, I'm trying to say here. It's like her entire body is in a bed, all of you was in there, okay? I'm pretty soon. I'm trying to say here, it's like her entire body's in the bed. So it's like when she says she's feet furt, it's like all of her, do you see what I'm getting? I'm, I live in Hoboken, I'm self-made. This might be going over your head, but I mean, Hoboken, so. Yeah. I mean, I guess anything goes over your head

because if you're lying down in a bed, you're lying down so anything, you have a higher chance of things going literally over your head because you're lying down and you're like only like two feet off the floor you know see what I'm saying here is my joke not landing I stopped and found a job so that's what I tried to say so um Steven tells Danielle later uh they're outside he's like well we met at a party and then he left um he's unavailable because he's a marine so it's not out yet. And she's like, well, how does that go?

You just say, please don't tell anybody. And he's like, I miss my river sounds. Um, so then Lauren and Lindsay easier with gentle rain behind us. So Lauren and Lindsay go lie down by the pool and, um, and Lindsay's, Lindsay Bayesley turns and was a, Lindsay was a Lauren. I think it was Lauren. Oh, it was Lauren and she's like, she's like, Hey, you know what, Carl, uh, making BBC's last night remind me of, all right.

I'm like, yeah, all right. Yeah, like I was like the BBC mega like I've I've loved it like yeah, he was on BBC patrol has your call like we haven't even taught I feel like we haven't even talked about Ervert. We haven't talked about Ervert and Lindsay's like, you know, I can yeah, this time four years ago, I've was like, I have supermarket and so like when we want to supermarket, you get the stuff for the BBC is like, all right. supermarket and so like when we want to do market, get us out of the BBC is like, all right. So Lauren, Lauren's wondering why they haven't even talked about over it yet. And Lindsay's like, yeah, like for the first time, we're like trying to like great space.

You're trying to create space that we're trying to say, create space. That's what you guys are doing. I'm not saying space. That's why you haven't talked about it. Yeah. It's like, I mentioned Carl. It's like, that's why you haven't talked about it, okay? And Lindsay's like, yeah, well, I'm trying to move on to like figure out if there's someone else out there for me, but like ever is like very much present in me.

That actually sounds like you guys just, but, um, she's like, yeah, I was just trying to create space, but like, then the other night I was like watching a movie and they like went into space and I was like, oh my god, I was like, I can't like watch. I like, like, if you look up in the sky, it's like it's space up there. I'm like, there's hour two. It's like efforts everywhere. It's like you can't say ever where without an hour, an hour, an hour. And Lauren's like, you're constantly comparing people to overt constantly, everything you're like oh like the guac it's like avert

That was delicious. Wow, it's sunset. I reminds my fervor Like you can't even make hamburgers without being like oh my god ever was soaking on the grill He's like a hamburger helper and then now you see the little glove and like oh my god It's like a little gloveie ever. She's like yeah, cuz I'm single Lindsay right now just need to get Let's sing a Lindsay. Okay, whatever I try. So, Kyle and Amanda are talking and he's getting bad news on the phone. Yeah, Julia. And he's like, what is it? And he's like, I just talked to investor Julia. Okay. And like, there's like a lot of investors at this stage and they want me to like prove that it works. So I have to continue to fit the bill. I'm sorry. Yeah, private time. Yeah, because Julia basically calls up and he's just being like the most typical investor being like, Kyle, hey, so you're, it's a great idea. I think

it's gonna be, it's gonna be so successful. You like, there's such a marker for this and you're creating a market and your hustle's amazing and you're gonna be amazing with this. I think this is like a home run success. Like, this is going to take America, maybe even the world by storm. I mean, anyone who doesn't get in at the ground level is just such an idiot.

Like, this is just exactly what I think we're all looking for. But unfortunately, it's not for me. Bye. But feel free to sleep making all my caps again. Exactly what I think we're all looking for, but unfortunately it's not for me, bye. But feel free to sleep naked on my couch again. Anytime, buddy, anytime. Yeah. So we find out as this episode progresses that a depressed Kyle is a docile good date Kyle because he'll just sit there and eat depressed.

He'll be like a boyfriend. So Amanda is basically going to have to keep him miserable his whole life to just like have a good boyfriend. And that makes probably make her feel good because she feels like she has a role because she can be like, oh my god, he's sad. He needs me right now. So yeah, we see where this is going to go. And then there's like a really exciting scene where a meat plays tennis with Lindsay. And then after that, we go back to Lauren Workis, who is on her bed. And she's, she gets facetimes with Ashley. So it's like, the work is twins are finally reunited

for the moment on Summer House. Hold on, I'm looking here. Did I go too fast over the meat tennis scene with Lindsay? Hold on, I know, because I remember this. Okay, wait after we got back from the date she drops that bomb I should have done that last summer Carl farts on a meat or no a meat farts on Carl Kyle and Amanda lunch date. Oh my god. How did I lose it? Okay, twin face time. Oh, yeah You're way too far ahead. Yeah, cuz on this show is just like oh my god somebody said something steep It's growl down. It's like wait a minute you skipped one the other things

Yeah, so meet and Lindsay when they're playing tennis. She's like I'm better at kicking balls and like heading down He goes if Lindsay is trying to seduce me right now. This is not the way He's gross. I don't want to meet. Yeah, I don't want to meet just lighting up our TV screen with clever just lighting up our TV screen with clever comedisms. So this FaceTime call with the twins. Oh my god. Ashley is so funny. She's like, wow, you've been hard to get a hold of, which is bizarre. Like that's bizarre. Yeah. Yeah. While I'm making cake, I made a cake and I feel like cake and I'm like, oh, I was like, yeah, what kind of cake?

It was like, okay, okay, yeah, yeah. It was like a birthday thing on it. It's like a black, a shallow pan because you love shallow pan. Okay, okay, come eat But like I thought stop you from answering your phone because I like like I couldn't answer the phone because I like I had to watch Carl's watch sick girl. Why are we talking about girl? It's going on well, Carl. What's the like thing around Carl right now? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? Carl? So she is what's it like thing around Carl right now and Lauren goes um Look like I'm not proud like I'm not the most proud person like here's what happened okay, but because I'm pride

She's like okay back up back up back up back up. I was like what is it back with these people saying back up all the time And that crazy fight she's like back up back up back up wait Lindsay. You're not a lot of back up Lindsay You're not a lot of back up no back up back up back up You're not allowed to back up. You're not allowed to back up. No, back up. Back up. Back up. They were traumatized and drivers at or what?

Like what is going on? I got back. So Ash is trying to give a bomb. She's like, was it like a stupid cast or what? Like have you guys been making ever sense? And then loans like, I'll, I have very real emotions and can I shoot with this person still? And it's just not, it's just not just one way.

It's like, you know, it's like emotions that I broke into two ways, it's like a waste rate. And like if you want to back up, be careful because you don't want to back in the lane. You have to like give your real straight. If you don't, you're doing it again. You're doing it again. You're doing it again. You're doing it again. Back up. Back up. Back up. I got Carl. Carl backing up. Carl. I'm backing up right now. I'm backing up. Carl. No, what do you think? Been M&A. Look, M.A. Look, I'm just, I just want you to know that

I'm coming up there for fun. I don't want to be bothered with this shit. Okay, Lauren. Like seriously, I don't want to be bothered with this shit Okay, Lauren like seriously. I don't want to be bothered with it Okay, so like just a carl and a little cage like whatever I'll be in a cage like I'm like a carl is like an engage But like I'm like on the cage cuz I have that needs to and I'm like I'm not proud I'm a proud like you know I'm a woman and like we have a relationship. It's complicated. There's chemistry and I can't deny it and like I know what I'm doing And I'm like I get hurt this time because I'm just having fun. I'm when it's not being fun

I'm gonna like I'm gonna just keep doing it and then like I'm when it stops being like really really fun Like then I'll just do it. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. I'm just having fun. and Amanda is now just kind of like sick of Kyle being wasted and everything even though he's sad and he's like um Kyle um I want to spend next week out with my friends so um I'm not gonna hang out with you he's like oh man I feel like I just got punched in the dick I was like dude like relax like a weekend he's like I feel like I'm fragile, especially after that call with Julio. And she's like, I get it. And I'm like pouring salt on an open wound, right? He's like, yeah. He's like, yeah, here's some more salt.

Salt. Good, good. That's what I wanted to hear. Salt on an open wound. The real drama in this whole scene was Amanda was sitting in front of big wooden cutting board shape like that whale that Margaret Joseph's lost to lawsuit over Oh Everyone's doing whales and like many events like they you know that they do anywhere they see a whale like I mean

They they're they're assuming blue planet you right now There's a sperm well. It's like wait. What you do like you know, it's like this just by the business and you know what like I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't I don't I don't have to be behind me But you know, they'll give me a BBC and this time I do me the big black cock that's so Joe classic classic mod So in the morning I meet Farts on Carl and bad I'm so sorry the last spoil that for you guys I know that's like a huge dream point in this life that I'm there you go I thought it was Carl that farted on a meat You know, I guess you just can't really tell sometimes which way I wrote

Carl Farts on a meat and then I changed it because Carl's like You should my bad get off my bad you shit my bad bad get off my bad bro more life more life You'll put your fart on me, but you're far on me. Get off a bad bro. You shut my bad Cajello bro, I was like I have to go right and really hear this to make sure that we get that detail straight You know, we don't want to lead our lead our listeners down the wrong path Yeah, so Lindsey and Lauren are talking and they just they can't believe Amanda isn't coming to the house next weekend It's just like it's just crazy, you know Lindsay's like yeah, like she's not coming because they were fighting like maybe I should have done that last summer and Marcus yeah no shit Lindsay Lindsay's like it's so weird that they fight as a reminder me and awa oh my god awa

awa awa And then Amanda's acting like she's going through this big divorce. She's like, could you get my shoes for me? Thank you. She's packing up her entire life to move to a small town with her son and work in a restaurant just to make the bills. Things are so awkward ever since I announced that I'm going to go to Joe's commuter on Saturday night instead of Water Mill, New York. So Danielle and Lauren are in the kitchen. And Danielle's like, when was the last time you talked to your sister? Oh my God, did you hear us? We talked today.

Did you hear us backing up? I'm so sorry. It's like that noise. It's like, it's automatic. It's white off. You know, it was like FaceTime, but it's like it's a time for faces though. Like, I don't know. like we're putting on our faces. Does it kind of FaceTime still,

if you're like not really showing the best side of your face, it's just more like time time? I don't know, like they have real names for it. Cool. I got, cool. Do you have that app that when you're on FaceTime, it makes it look like you have Thag app? We'll do that with your face.

And then it makes it hold your face. And then everyone's like, who's your face? So FaceTime is not Thag app time. I'm like, sorry, I forgot to turn the filter off. So Daniel's like, did you tell your sister about Carl? She's like, yes, like it was like an along I roll, but like, and Daniel goes, look, I'm not calling you out, okay, but don't feel like you have to keep it from us. Like, he's a tall order of bacon.

I get it. And what does she, why does she have to say things? How about just observe, okay? No need to ask questions, okay? No need to ask questions. She's basically doing to Danielle what she did to say things? How about just observe? Okay. I'm going to ask questions. Okay. I'm going to ask questions. She's basically doing to Danielle, what she did to Christina Gibson last season, which is actually making Danielle more because once someone gets put into the, to the outcast role in the house, it's like they outcast someone so well on this show that I

immediately start to like, so all of a sudden I'm starting to like Danielle. Mainly because Laura is trying to target her because Danielle was like, sudden, I'm starting to like Danielle. Mainly because Lauren is trying to target her. Because Danielle was like, listen, I'm not trying to be like crazy. I'm just like asking. I'm just like, you know, we could talk. And Lauren's like, yeah, yeah, cool. And then when she probably is like,

yeah, why are you asking so many questions? Carl. Carl. Carl. Why is she so competitive with me? Like, I got to put like seriously. She's not. You're the one acting crazy.

And I love every second of it. I was like, look what we have in common. A penis want to talk about it. That'll be fun. We'll be girls and bond. I'm going to kill that girl. But I was like, do you like celery? I like celery.

Oh my god. Why is she asking me back celery? I'll say if you want to find out if I like celery, just watch. OK? Like, no need to ask questions about celery. OK? You'll see.

You'll know if I like celery. OK? Carole. Or like celery. Carole, do you like celery? Do you like salary? I have to question my Carl. Do you love? Well, I would tell you what was going on next, but let's set the music to it. They all go home, home, home, oh, oh, oh, I go in home, go in home. Well, we're going on.

Actually, they were singing this song. It says, Lovers and haters and two million acres, and I don't give a damn about you Hollywood fakers. It's like, aren't you bragging about two million acres? I'm so confused. What are you so mad about, singer? Yeah, why are you so mad about Hollywood?

No one was coming for you. Why are you mad at Hollywood? And why aren't you mad about Hollywood when you're driving on a freeway without cars on it? Like, you should be happy you, are you mad about Hollywood when you're driving on a freeway without cars on it? Like you should be happy. What are you trying to prove? There's a commute happening.

No one's coming for you. Everyone's like, okay, cool, we have to drive. You have to go somewhere. We know how it works. Like Hollywood assholes making me drive someplace. It's like, right, it sounds like a song. What's the publics that, guys? Yeah.

So it's now like the city portion of the episode So we see little flashes of whatever everyone's doing and we see a meat Like hanging out with Carl on a meat. I think I want to have a shabbat dinner and my sister's gonna come to house and I'll say oh yeah, bro. Can we have my shabbat? It's like yeah, okay, they're cool more life more life So you're like full on to us cool bro. That's cool So you're like a hundred Jewish. You're not like just 75% you're like 100%. Like because you're I know you're from Israel, but are you like Jewish Israel or like what? Something else. He's like, you know, I'm Jewish. Oh, awesome, bro. Awesome.

And then they still Lindsey coming out of her back. And he's like, I love me. You're like at the top of contract. balcony. She's like, I love New York. I got the top co-contact. Somewhere the pigeons are like, OK, who has to go shit on her first? They're like flying over. Oh my god, she's out on the balcony. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do it. So Lauren and Carl have doing job interviews. Lauren is at some beauty place. And Crystal is at Crystal. Crystal. Crystal. Crystal. Crystal. Oh, if she gets that done, that's how crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal crystal Carl, Crystal wants a cinchet. Carl, I call that you want a cinchet. Carl, Crystal, Crystal, Carl.

So, Carl's interviewing at some new dental place. And he's like, Dr. Levine. It's like, I got the opportunity to work on like dental startup here. And then the guys like, yeah, well, if you're gonna work here, you've got 90 days, and they expect you to do 15 grand in sales a month. And if you hit those numbers, you'll move up the dental ladder. If you don't, you won't move up the dental ladder.

It's like, no. If you don't, then it's your floss. Get it, dental humor. Yeah, if you sat one, totally, yeah. Yeah, that's a great joke. And like I promise, this is a new car, a new car was gonna make all sorts of gentle jokes. And I'm gonna show it that I'm like a responsible guy

and I'm like working on my communication. And if you just give me the chance, I wanna show you Dr. Levine that you can be your way to me, metaphorically speaking. Like I'm making a promise to you right now and it's not a toothless promise. Get back. So go, okay, okay, we'll give you a chance.

Yeah. I hope you pick me. Get it like a water pair. You know, I'll work, I'll work, I'll work, I want to be part of the business from like the root up, right? Like the root, like I'll travel through a canal, like I'll do what I have to do, okay? Like I'll pay my way. Hey, hope I didn't affect your buds. Your taste, but I hope that someday I hope that someday I become such a good employee that you put a plaque up of me. I've worked in debt a lot. It's like hard to compete with all the plaques I've got.

Got it. Got it. I mean, I'm almost like royalty around here. Like you just put a crown on me. Get it. Anyway, was that was that was that a bridge too far? Get it. All right, look, do I get an unlimited amount or is there a cap?

Get it? Like I really don't even care. I'll do whatever you need. I'll be like your indentured servant. Get it. So Lauren is at hers and she's like, what I want to figure out is how to be a part of this business because you want a partner, not just to manage your right, because if I'm making money and I'm getting percent,

like totally I'll make more of an effort because I'll work that much harder because I care that much. And don't worry about it because if it's time to back up, I'll tell you and then you'll hear a beep and then you can get out of the way No one's gonna get hurt. It's like safety to you Carl. Yeah, hey crystal You're pretty crystal light because like if I work here I can like stuck it with crystal light which I maybe you just caught light like it's like crystal light like it's crystal You know they're making the dark crystal again. Do you ever see the dark crystal? Do you like crystals? Do you have a like crystal but aren't she has a great thing in voice too?

I don't think maybe people that do like wings do like wings you want fly like do you like buffalo wings? Do you like fly crystal? Do you like crystals? Do you have a crystal, but aren't she has a great singing voice too? I don't think many people like do like wings, do like wings, do you want to fly away? Do you like buffalo wings? Do you like fly wings? Do you like the show wings? I start feeling bad for Lauren because this lady, she's like, yes, of course you need money to buy in, but I also need a partner, you know, to be in charge of all the back and stuff and the stocking and all the actual work. You know, being partners with Lisa Vanderpump. She's like, sounds great. Sounds great.

Sounds great. Sounds great. Can my friend Carl work? Okay, Carl's great. Like, listen, like, I'm not proud of myself, but I offer the job to Carl, even though it's not my job to offer, but Carl's gonna work with me on this.

Just like, okay. So back at Carl's. I went to California. I went to California, there was a rush on there, called Carl's junior, I was like, oh my God, it's Carl's child. I was like, is that my child with Carl? Carl? I've just been with the god, it's a college child, I was like, is that my child with Carl? Carl?

I've just been with the scientist Carl, have a junior, like I'm just waiting to see Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid,

but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So let's see um baby you're my number one crush oh that's the song and Lauren and Coral are driving together and she's like what's that song I love it baby you're my number one crush like that's amazing. I'm a crush. I love that song.

I like that. Do you take out the garbage car? Car. It's like my garbage. I love that song. I like my garbage. Do you take out the garbage car? Carl. Yeah, they're they're driving out there and Lauren is struggling with Amanda's absence. She's like I'm gonna miss Amanda. Yeah, I'm gonna miss Amanda She's like my little replacement for Ashley and like how we're gonna turn like that's gonna be hard like it's be hard Carl Amanda, I miss Amanda. Do you miss Amanda? Carl. Her guac was great. Who's your Ashley? Yeah, I'm gonna make a guac I'm gonna make a guac. I'm gonna make a walk. I'm gonna show I got my guy That's good as Amanda, but it'll be it'll be guac it'll be like walk without the J because she's a J

Yeah, I So Carl asked about Ashley who's gonna be coming to visit and he's like I'm miss her. It's gonna be fun Which is like really you miss her? Really really really really miss her Because it's a nightmare for Carl you know, yeah. What's the longest you've ever gone without senior? She said, well, what does that include FaceTime? Because FaceTime was recently, but before that, I was MIA. Like seriously, I was like,

John McCain a long time ago. Like everyone was totally worried. I love that she just told him, but I need to respect me, especially in front of my sister. Okay. Carl, I'm afraid I'm repeating history through Carl. I'm repeating history and Carl's like, yeah, well, you know what? The worst feeling I've had in the house is seeing you up to Carl. I'm like, I'm repeating history and Carl's like, yeah, well, you know what?

The worst feeling I've had in the house is seeing you upset. I'm like, shut up, Carl. Shut up. You're the one who upsets her all the time. You're the one who does that. Yes, and then he says things like, I'm lucky. I'm lucky to be the same car with you. Okay? It's a lucky, I feel like that. So I appreciate that, Carl.

I appreciate that. You said the right thing. I like what you say, right? I'm the honest, Carl. That's great. Say that in front of Ashley and my mom. You said the right thing. I like what you say. I honestly, Carl. That's great. Say that in front of Ashley and my mom. You want to face my mom right now?

She'll be mad that we're like driving and talking the phone never mind. Maybe we should tape it and send it to her later. Do you remember what you said? I do. Do you remember it? Do you want me to write it down? I got a pencil.

I got a pencil paper. Carl. Maybe that's just a pencil. So I got a paper pencil. And then Carl does, of course, the typical Carl Carl thing which is that he then starts to deflect. So we start saying thing. He starts saying that Danielle is jealous of him and Lauren. So he's already like to deflect away from him being Carl.

He's already putting it on to Danielle and starting to villainize her just as he did to report a Christina Gibson reporting live from last season. That's car. Remember? That's the guy. And he said, well, I drifted. I stopped, I stepped away from you. I stopped being as close with you because Christina was saying all this shit and you know, it got in my head. You know, he blamed Christina basically for them falling apart. No, we do not abide by that.

Yes. But he's just telling her what she wants to hear. Because she's jealous, right? Like she wants to be me, right? She's jealous. She's jealous. She's jealous. She's jealous. She's jealous. He's like, okay, she's jealous. And guess what? We're gonna have a talk. We're gonna have a talk. I'm gonna put a mask on her face and one of those bite down things in her mouth so she can't even respond to me and she's gonna listen, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I sell those things now. I have to sell actually $15,000 worth of them. So if you wouldn't mind buying one.

Yeah, I'll buy that for you, Carl. I can pitch it to Crystal. I'll be like, Crystal, this is a new style. Like, mask with that thing you buy down on it. And like, Crystal, be like, oh my god, that's great where'd you get it from. I'll be like, Carl, call him, and he's like, oh, Carl, really?

Can I meet Carl? I'll be like, yeah, Carl, Crystal, Carl, Crystal. So a meat sister comes over to the house, and her name is Noah. And she's like, whoa, that is really to wish. Like the most. You see, do we have some manners to have us know? Are we going to dinner two by two or like, how's this going to work?

Superjuice. Do I have to like pick up a Torah during dinner? Like how does Shabbat work? Am I saying Shabbat right? I'm like, Carl, it's not a hard thing to say Shabbat. It's like, S H A B B A is Shabbat work am I saying Shabbat right? I'm like Carl It's not a hard thing to say Shabbat. It's like S.H.A. BB AT Shabbat music people started doing these weird These weird music cues to make it sound like it was a really traumatic scene that it wasn't and it was cracking me up Cuz I mean it's like yeah, that's Noah. She's super chill. She gets along with anybody and

Danielle goes hey, and then the music goes with anybody and Danielle goes, hey, and then the music goes, oh, it stops. Nothing happened. And then girl's like, she's about dinner and everyone else comes and Steven's like, I'm just gonna go unpack some of my things. And then the music goes, boom. Yes.

I was like, what? I love when they just, they just decide they're gonna make it sound scary when nothing happens. I'm gonna go the bathroom So I was actually surprised to learn that the workers twins are half Jewish I was like yay part of the tribe part of the tribe Half try half try. Yeah, half try. She's like Burr-hut line. I mean, I know, I know how to do it. I would say the first part of the line and then actually would say the second part of the line. It's not the same. Okay. We need to have some make a hole. Like, I'm half

Jewish and she's half Jewish and you put us together. It's like a whole Jewish person. Yeah. Like when we celebrate Shabbat, like we only celebrate for 12 hours because we're half Jewish. So like, we started sundown, but then like we stopped around lunchtime. So it was like cool. So Lins, he's like, oh, heck, how, what's it? Like, how do you feel without a girlfriend? And he's like, yeah, you know what? I just decided I'm going to have fun with my friends.

And she says, oh, really? That's what you decided? Really? That's what you decided? So this is your choice. Because like, you want to have fun with your friends And he's not biting at all. He's like yeah BBC Oh my god, I rock

Ever it loves to BBC And just in case nobody's finding Carl hot. He's like Who would you shirtless you lot? I come without a shirt Yeah, cuz you know it's a you know, it's like a really good way to celebrate like something Um to getting all my chest here into your food your spa. I want like my hair on your hummus. Get it sure I was gonna show you. Yeah sure. Shlap. Well, I sure off. Yeah sure off. Sh Shabbat. I grew up selling $15,000 for the pumice. I get it It's just joke about my dentist stuff. I guess it doesn't land if you weren't at my job interview

Sorry, it's there like super Jew food that's really crunchy and someone could break our teeth Could you serve that? Do you need me on retainer get it? Oh, sorry wrong audience So so me to know they put out like a nice Shabbat spread and they do like the prayers and it's all this is really food because there's really and when I'm gonna meet mom had died when he was 17 but they keep doing Shabbat dinner it was like a nice nice moment like the first time we saw any sort of personality or anything from a meat And he like smiles and I think this is around when Carl is like Yeah, you know like a meat like you know took him a while to show some personality

But like now he's here and now he's not really opening up to us. I'm like he told one story. I made you hummus That's all that happened. No way he'll so far did on me remember that. Oh, yeah, yeah, that was great. Yeah, that was great Sure, let's fart night. Yeah. He's like, hey Kyle, you know how many people are waiting to see Kyle like go Kyle? Like go Kyle? Like, you know that thing when you pump the air

and Kyle's like, no. Because Kyle seems to be so different when he's drunk. When he's not drunk yet, he's like, what? What are you talking about? Oh, right, the pump. Oh, yeah, okay. Pumping. I was like pumping in the air.

Let's get him drunk. Bring Kyle back. So in the kitchen, Carl and Amit, or no, Carl and Kyle are like, hot potato, hot potato, but with water. Oh, bro. Oh, here's the, here it is, here it is. Here's the watermelon, bro. Hot potato. Hot potato, but a watermelon. Oh my god, hot melon, hot melon while bro. Oh, oh, oh, here's there. There it is. Here is your's about watermelon bro. Oh, potato

Bro, potato, but a watermelon. Oh my god. Hot melon bro hot watermelon bro. I'm learning good boys mom says no more no more I'm your mom and I'm saying no more and Karra goes car on a watermelon Mom said no more It's like she already made the mom said Carl. Okay. Yeah Carl So I didn't even has like a see a wig for some reason. So he starts dancing around in that one showing his butt in the shower, et cetera. And then they all, they all get dressed up and they go out to some animal parties, some animal-themed party where you're sort of dressed like an animal or whatever.

Lindsay, you're an essential landsperience, we need Todd with the double buttons on top of her head. Like, yeah, got, it's like single Lindsey. Like, um, yes, except you look like you're going to kill people and make them into meat pies. But otherwise, sounds great, Lindsey. Let's go. Oh my god. Like the word, the name Todd ends with two D's and it's funny because Everett's name ends with two T's and it's like everything reminds me of Ararat. Like I just can't stop thinking about him. Ararat. D.D. is also dead day, which is an army term, which reminds me of Ervert.

Oh my God. And DD is like a few letters up from BB of like BBC. So it's like, and that was like what ever it's thing was. So it's like, it's like hard to get space when like all these things are running me about. Yeah, I'm like, you say BB and I'm like BB gun. And then like, that's like a starter gun for people who want to shoot guns.

And like other people who shoot guns are in the bell of area. So it's like, Ervert. And like BB also makes me think of like BB King and like Kings for people who are like shoot guns and other people who shoot guns are in the bell at the very end. So it's like, all right. And like, BB also makes me think of like BB King and like King's for people who are like ruled over militaries and like militaries like whatever was in. So it's like, oh my god, all right. King of the BB guns.

Is he dateable? Like I wonder if he'd like me. So it's 3 a.m. and they're all they all come back to the house and they're animal party. And someone put the ice cream cake into the fridge and it looked like it was a Carvelle ice cream cake. And Kyle's like sitting there trying to lick it up. I would have been furious. Cause you know me the entire time with the animal party,

I'm like, this is fun, but when we get back guys, we have ice cream cake. Like you know, in the back of my head, I would have been just counting down the moments to having some of that cookie bus. And instead, it was just a big, gloppy mess. Yeah, and he's eating it with his fingers and no with the sister who I don't even think is stocked yet.

Just looks at him and just keeps texting. I'm like, this is awesome. This is why the Lord flooded the earth. And it's just like people like me to build a boat so that people like him didn't eat everyone else's carvel No one knows I put Fudgey the whale in the fridge and it's great Barber Joseph's life like yeah, it's my Fudgey the whale like you know I get in Carvelle like I see my vineyard vines Like I'm basically just like Carvelle, okay, so you like soft serve. It's more like hard serve hard facts. Okay. It's classic. John Classic Joe So Kyle drunk dials Amanda after he nails all that ice cream

He's like, hey, and of course it goes to her voice mail. So he's like, hey really miss you some Like he's falling asleep with the cake Just eating some melted budget away, and I thought of you, not saying that you're a whale or that you're soft and melty, it just, you're sweet like budget away. But you're not a whale, not saying that. Just the constantly you that I'm still drunk and sleeping while I eat.

I don't know if this is making you want to come back next weekend. So I think you have the wrong number. Oh, earlier in the episode, Lauren comes into Carl's room when she's snuck in there. She's like, oh my god Carl, I'm wearing one on my side of the bed. So this time she goes in, she's like, can I sleep here? And he goes, of course. And he left her side of the bed open this time. Aww.

And she's like, when I get naked, he's like, my pants are already rough. Look at that. I anticipate. Oh, sorry, everybody. We got some mud of Carl last night boning her. I was like, whoa, they're showing a lot on cable these days. Oh, yeah, that's true. We saw a lot of Carl butt.

I'm glad they didn't have need to be back when little house on the prairie was on. Those people would look at his naked. Keep your clothes on. Him at that. Meanwhile, Kyle is still out in the living room and Steven goes up to him and goes, there's Grinola on your forehead. Which I liked that Grinola got there and I liked that Steven noticed it. Then he just walks off and he hears Carl's the fucking from Carl's

room and he's like, oh my god, that's an addiction. You need to go to see a California. Yeah, so please don't come here. Don't send them here. We've got enough Carl's in California, okay? He's like Carl anonymous, which inherently is not an anonymous thing. But Lawrence, then we see Lauren going, Carl, Carl, do you love me? And he's like, do I love you? Yes. Can we have sex? Then it cuts to commercials and it's a home pregnancy test.

I was like, this, uh, this channel, they know their programming, okay. So now it's like the morning and Lauren's like Carl. Hey Carl Carl. Your guns are bigger but you're too small. Do you notice that? Your guns are bigger but you're too small like your proportions are changing. Do you have anything about proportions? Do like math. Do like math. What's your favorite inverse proportions or direct proportions? What do you think Carl? So Danielle is talking to Steven and his bed again. He's like, uh, why are you always here? is talking to Steven and his bed again. He's like, uh, why are you always here?

Not enough bears have died for a blanket to cover you to get out of my bed. They're in bed together again. And he's like, let's not talk about Carl. Well, let's not talk about anything in fact. How about let's just be quiet and let me sleep. Okay. But now, now later, later. I'm from Hoboken. No, I'm from Hoboken. Are you trying to with me over? Because it's not going to work. Saying you're from Hoboken.

Okay, I have to try. Okay, anybody else want to talk? They're like, no, Danielle. Nobody wants to talk. Okay. She's like, well, I guess I'll just go downstairs and do something wacky. Like have a slice of that ice cream cake for breakfast. No, that doesn't work. No, it's melted.

But that was going to be my moment of personality. Girl, she's blaming me for the pie. I know she's blaming me for the cake. She's blaming me. Look at her. I think she's talking about eating the cake. Carl, don't tell anyone, but I put 10 else ice cream cake in the fridge. Carl, it's not crazy. Carl, I don't's talking about eating the cake. Carl don't tell anyone, but I put 10 y'all sides from cake in the fridge Carl. It's not crazy Carl

I don't want to put in your face again because I did that last week so I just put in the fridge a lot of melt and now I shall be sad So Lynn the twins down in the kitchen cooking or whatever and Lindsey comes home. I'm trying to sneak in She's like, oh look who's here. It's Miss Hubbard. Where were you last night? What were you doing? Where are you? What were you? Where were you? What was it? Where was it? Where was it last night? Was it right? No, you weren't with Carl.

How was it? Were you with Carl? Were you there? Where were you at? What you got? Carl said he lost to me. Carl lost to me. She goes, where did you sleep?

And then she goes, in a bed, in a very dark room? I can't help it if Paul look, guys, like me. She's like, I broke into a planetarium and fell asleep. I thought I was sleeping under the stars, but it was just a projection. I was woken up by school children basically. Oh my God, so good. It's a dark room. It's like a dumpster.

It's a dumpster outside of Everett's building. She's in a photography studio. She's like, I smell a lot of chemicals and I passed out. And then I woke up and there was a weird picture of my face and a pine cone. And also like a taco contract in my bra, which is weird. So let's see. Now they're going out to a pool party. I have some sort. I cannot let Taco contract go. That was my favorite part of season one. That's what I got. I got a contract. Yeah, with like walk machine, microwave machines and blocks and place called guac. I mean, I did a lot to come. So, so guess what Lindsey does she calls a rat

And she's like it's all happy and nice like hey, I miss you alright and he's like yeah, I miss you, jeez Jeez stranger Yeah, we haven't yeah, I don't miss you Moving out because I'm single and saying totally never My hands are moving to see my legs are right. I look like my snow hands are right She's aware of what she's doing cuz she's like like sleeping with someone new like a backfire And I like well go in the black box, I couldn't get out. Mm-hmm.

I was in a magic trick. And I was like, oh my god, this had my legs. I was drinking the audience. And I was like, oh my god, but everite, he loves magic. So we have magic. So she's like, so the music's all nice and romantic. Like, they're really reconnecting. And then almost anything weird in the background

of Everett's call, like, ooh! And she's like, all right? All of a sudden, he's like, oh yeah. They're drunk girls at this party. It's a, ooh! And she's like, what? All right? All of a sudden, he's like, oh yeah. They're drunk girls at this party. It's a pretty intense scene. I don't really know how I'm going to survive this situation. It's a lot of things happening all at once as a girl. She's got a, she's got a beer bomb.

She's drinking hard. And I don't know. She can take it all in. It's a lot. I don't know she could take it all in For lots I was watching her run across the room after a shot of that beer bomb She was flopping away and suddenly everything turned slow motion It's tripped on the share cropping and read into my lap and I thought well geek well Some other bro came over and said listen bro. I see your old and Corona be here. Well guess what?

I just tapped your Corona be with the bottle of my Corona beer and yours is now bubbling over. And I said, oh shit bro, God, I see it this fast. And for us to late, I lost five sons in that experience. Yeah, like me and my bros we celebrated bros of July. She's like, oh my god, that reminds me of Everett. He's like, I am Everett. So, so he's, so she's trying to talk to him and and he's like she's like I'm gonna say I'm right. He's like Yeah, miss you too, and she's like do you miss me a lot? He's like oh

Wait a second What is he thinking I mean so classic right? She's like ever right I'm on the phone you ever right I know holding the phone in my face. I feel it Lindsay one of my down geek So I could you go like maybe go somewhere more silent? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's like kind of, yeah. Because it's got a louder you are.

I'm sorry, it's New York City, Lindsay. We want me to do, tell New York to be quiet. God. It's like, go somewhere quiet and it goes, no. Yeah. I was like, oh my God, I forgot how awful he is. I forgot how fun it was listening to them fight. Now, there's another one of them ever gives in.

You know, it's like, oh, we haven't talked in a month. This is so romantic. Could you just go somewhere quiet? No, Lindsey, you're not the bus of me. Did you have the subway? This isn't a stop being a subway. No, you call me when I bought a subway and that's just the way it's going to me. Did you have the subway, isn't it stopping a subway? No. You call me when I buy the subway and that's just the way it's gonna be. You should be so lucky I answered the phone. Hey New York City, uh,

Lindsey said be quiet. What's that? Hey, Lindsey, New York City just said, fuck off geek. Hey geek, guess what? I'm standing by the L train. Isn't that your favorite? Cause it stands for loser train. is not your favorite because it stands for loser drain. Lintika's as in throwing as this combo is Lawrence calling it. That's not how you say in throwing but I'm glad you saved that one up for this phone call. Everett, I want to sleep in a dark room last night with a man and a bad, but maybe not a man, but in a dark room for sure. He's like, well, I did that too, actually. Whoa, crazy days. Man, but I will say usually, usually when they fight, they both contribute pretty equally.

Like, she says something needy and then he gets annoyed, but like, he has an overreaction, which is ridiculous, but she's also sort of pushing buttons, etc. In this case, she was just like, hey, I can't really hear you. Could you maybe go somewhere quieter? And you're like, no! What a dick. Also, wasn't this the morning when she got home? Yeah.

So she called me back in the morning. She's like, I just got laid. Now I'm going to call Everett. Everett's like parting still from the night before. Hose or Trip and all over the first leg background. So classic! So classic! Oh! I mean, in his defense. Everett's like parting still from the night before. Hose are tripping all over the place like background. So classic. Oh, I mean, in his defense, he did answer the phone.

He's like, oh my god, Luke is calling geek. Hey, I heard you passed out in a planet, a gerium last night, is that because we're trying to get some space? It's a little too literally Lindsay, you stupid geek. I saw La La Land. So great. It's a little too literally Lindsay, you stupid geek. Ah! I saw La La Land. So. So.

Great movie. Great movie. So then, then they're finally go to the pool party and the music's like, it's all about us. Hashtag fabulous. It's like no. Well, thanks for putting the final nail in the hashtag coffin. I feel bad for the people in the Hamptons actually because this was like a party at this

estate. They're like, yeah, it's like they don't normally have like parties, but like once you're out there, it's an adorable party. It's like a really cool place, but it's like, it's like, it's okay, but they have full parties. And then we go over there and they had some sort of like, some beachard go-go dancer. And I was like, is this the best the Hamptons can do for their dancers? I mean, they're all three and they were all wearing Halloween costumes from the Target sale aisle. Okay, they're like Powerpuff girls

or something really weird. And the ones like, oh my God, I don't see one cute guy. I don't see what, I don't see what, there's not one cute guy, not even one cute guy. It's even like, I see what, but he's not gay. Like, if there are any gay guys here, they have their Kamaw on and I can't see Camo oh my god, that's like I brought so

So Lauren's like hey Carl Carl Carl Carl Do I have a conversation girl? I just want to have a conversation now now Daniels here. Do you have your conversation? All right, you're gonna do something don't you have something to do didn't you say you're gonna do something he's like just saying I'm gonna do something to forget Carl yeah I'm like in the bathroom she's like no now I'm at 10 yeah oh yeah okay I'll go do it now I'll knock it off my to do this right now she goes yeah huh he's in sales and like so he can do it he can have a mess and

it's like for once Carl is gonna do what he said he was gonna do so you really are being an asshole. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So Carl woman attacked in public. It's like Jesus. It's so nasty. And so Carl pulls Daniel aside.

And you know, she's excited. She's like, oh my god, I'm getting a scene. This is great. So he's like, so like, like, I know you've been having a conversation with Lauren and like how I'm treating her so You're gonna stop that you're gonna stop that. I was like you That's it was so obnoxious. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna stop that I mean conversations like yeah, that's over. Okay, that's over. It's just I'm done with that

He's like yeah, you are yeah, you are okay, cuz like I think one part of you is like holding on. You're like, oh, it's like, let go of my back hair bit. Okay. Yeah. Holding on. Hey, Daniel, I think you need to brace for this. That was joke. Guess what? Like, you are still into me and I feel that and like, you need to just like get over me. Okay. Like, I know I'm like a tall sliver bacon. Your words not mine. Um, and like I want to be a total gentleman. And I'm like working my communication stuff, but like you're gonna stop. You're gonna stop being jealous. You're gonna stop this. Like you know what you need? You know what you need, Daniel? You need someone else to fill your cavity. Okay. Cause I can't do it right now. Okay. Yeah. So it was so condescending and obnoxious and totally unwarranted. So he walked away all proud of himself

because his back sweat has formed a smiley face because he's so happy. And so now Danielle goes over to Steven and is like Carl just said all this stuff to me and saying this is none of my business and et cetera. And he was like, well, it's gonna be everyone's business soon because Carl and Lauren are destructive. So, you know

Which is right. He's right. It's like so like they make it everyone's business. And then Carl's like, uh, I did it Can we fuck now? She's like now Carl look everyone's talking about this look Danielle's over there. She's like Matt She's talking to Stephen about us Which he was but still like you already You're already one you already one and you have like some private tent on the side just be happy with that. Okay. Yeah. This is the only prize of Carl. Congratulations. Yeah. And does Danielle not have a right to talk to her gay, you know, like you like Carl just came out of nowhere at this really

fun basic party and just basically yelled at Danielle and doesn't she have a right to process that by talking to someone? Oh, because you know why? Because that's Lauren's other relationship. Now she goes from talking to Carl to talking to the gay boyfriend. Lauren's like, my God, I just can't keep tabs on everybody at one time.

Get rid of that girl, okay? She's like, Matt, she's talking to Steven about us. So Carl's like, huh, we this year, where? I'm gonna say something, I'm gonna say something. Yeah, wow, wait, where to go, dude? Yalling it a woman in public. Yeah, I see something say something, but maybe not in this case. And so he's like, Hey, Hey, don't do that.

Don't talk about us. Don't you, don't you, don't, don't, and she's like, you're out of line. He's like, no, you're out of line. I wanted to talk to you about something that's bugging me. And this is what you're doing. You know, it's just like shut up, Carl. Yeah, this guy's a total prick. Yeah, he's just not cute enough to be that much of an asshole. You know what I mean? You have to adjust your asshole, douchey behavior, based on the truth of your face.

You know, I'm not saying he has no right to be at all a douche. He's a handsome, good looking guy. He's really handsome. That good looking. You know what I mean? Yeah, he's not cute enough to act that horrible. And he's just like, and he's just being so condescending and he's, he's not man's landing, but he's like talking down in that specific way that only men talk down to women in that certain tone. And he's like, hey, don't do that. Don't do that.

And she's like, are you kidding? Are you dumb? I'm like, maybe option B there, you know? And Carl's like, Lauren and I are in a good place, and I wanna have her back. So Danielle, you're going on a timeout. It's so patronizing, it's so awful. Like, she wasn't doing anything bad.

She hasn't been, she's not even really stirring the pot. Like you guys, Lauren. And he doesn't even care. He's just doing it because Lauren's freaking out. And he's gonna get laden to keep, you know, Lauren has like specific demands. It's not like he doesn't even care. He's just doing it because Lauren's freaking out and he's gonna get laid and to keep, you know, Lauren has like specific demands. It's not like it's a big secret. She just said them, you know,

she's like, that's what you have to do, Carl. And if you do this, then I'll give you that. And he's like, okay, point me out. Or like he doesn't even feel what he's saying, which is why it's even so much, it's even more disgusting. It's just like, I'm gonna go be a total misogynist. In front of people, humiliate someone and make them cry. I don't think he's even doing it to get

laid because he knows he can get laid. He's doing it to build his case for later on when he's like a dick and he's like no I was great I was gentleman I stood up for you. I slept with Danielle you know I did everything right because he's all about like looking like he's looking like the good guy doing all the right things saying all the right things, saying all the right things. And this is a case of him, like checking off this, this, he's checking off this box, saying, look, I defended you, I was gentleman, I was valiant,

and the reason why this didn't work out was not because of me because I did everything I was supposed to do. That's what this is all about. Yeah, it's future case. Future case. Future case. Future case. So what's like, what happened? What happened?

What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? What happened? So they go and they're in cars. Yeah.

Kyle is super drunk, but he's now gone, like, he's like candid drunk now. So they're all in cars. And basically in one car is Carl, Carl, Lauren and Kyle. And one car is Carl, Kyle and Lauren. I'm so much. It's like so many white names. It's a tongue twister. So Lauren's life is, I can't believe we left. I didn't even get to make out with a microphone.

And Lauren is still drunk and steaming and talking about Danielle. She's like, well, she clearly has feelings for Carl. And then Carl's like, yeah, she clearly has feelings for me, which is like so self-involved, you know? And Carl's like, I've never, ever gotten the vibe that there's feelings there, okay? And the last thing I want to do is worry about you two She goes oh yeah, don't mind it you talk to me. Why don't you talk to me come? Why don't you talk to me? Preoccupied Julio the investor. It's like you are you're Julio. Yeah, you're Julio. You're Julio Julio Romeo

Julio Romeo Romeo. Is that a play? I think it's a play So Guess what guys we've all got our own cans of worms. We can fish together, um, and still keep our cans separate. It's like a big dab. So, cause like, listen, I mean like, you guys are acting all crazy. I mean, it's not like you dated Carl. It's not like she dated Carl. Like, you know, and Lauren's like,

Oh, yeah, we did date. I did date. I did get, I dated Carl. I dated Carl. Cause like, uh, well, um, just so you know, Carl never said I'm dating Lauren. She's like, Oh, well, I mean, that's okay. The, the, the are you gonna say in the car? Carl? You don't have to like do whatever you want. I'm like, Oh, you're gonna stay in front of Ashley, right? Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna say it. You're gonna say it. But you know that Lauren's processing that comment. Cause she's like, Oh, I mean, you got really quiet. Carl's like, thanks a lot. I just yelled at the chicken public bro. Now we can have to go home to her pissed off anyway.

Yeah, you guys, can we just have so I was for a little bit? Can we just have silence? We got the ones over top of the song. Let's go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love that one. Play that one, bro. They all want to be us because we're a hashtag fabulous. I like that one too. Do you have a song called hashtag bust? It's coming I feel it's coming. Okay, so at the house in the evening. It's tense and Stephen and Danielle she's like could you suit with me on the porch and he goes for what? I have like Seven M's on prime boxes coming and they're all empty. I just do it to an hour call

So I need to receive them for guys like what Lauren is not crying now It's this girl who's gonna be crying to him the whole summer. He doesn't even hide it. He's like what? It's like This would be fun, but it doesn't make me feel good. I don't like this So small good. Yeah, I'm'm worried. No one else believes it. The only person who believes in Carl is Carl. Look at him. He's crazy.

And then they cut to Carl inside dancing with Carl. And he's like, what may he show you more thigh, bro? What may he show you more thigh? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Oh, God. God bless this show.

This crazy loony show. And that's pretty much where it leads off with Danielle crying. And she should know better. She knows Carl. She knows she can't be friends with Carl. And she's in like a house with his ex and it's a work. It's you just, you can't, you can't, you can't be in the work.

This is what you just the work is it. Work is work is. I didn't still think there's any way. I work. I'm not saying work is over. I don't think it's like work. I don't think there's a way to prepare for being yelled at and humiliated in front of a whole party of people for no reason. And then like before. It's like so mean girl that they even did that to her that she can be is prepared

as she wants. It's not about Carl. It's about them being mean to her. Are you jerks? Yeah. It was really mean. I really felt bad for Danielle I was like, oh my god, they're turning her into our little Christina Gibson for season two. I know There's always gonna be someone that they just beat up on And they're like, bye next season Geez Oh my goodness. I really enjoy this show. It's so stupid. I really really enjoy it. Me too. Yay summer house Well everybody that brings us to the end of a Thursday show tomorrow. We'll be back with some top set. We'll see you then. Bye Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at onedry.com slash survey.