Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Codependence Day

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

Summer House has its annual Fourth of July party, but no one really celebrates Independence. For this week's premium bonus two parter recorded on our road trip from Kansas to Omaha, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Toronto, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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show. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Guess Where. You bros, that's where. all that crap we love to talk about on Guess where? Yee-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun.

We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun.

We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be doing a lot of fun. We're going to be bit about Summer House, which is what we're talking about today on this podcast.

Yeah, so go check that out. Love our love our little Laura. And we are going to be doing one live show in March in Salt Lake City. That one's going to be really fun. So come out there. We've never been to Salt Lake City. You can find tickets for that and all of our live shows. You can find tickets for that and all of our live shows going to a bunch of places, including Orlando, Charleston, Madison, Oklahoma City, etc. Go find all of those cities and more over at WatchWatCrapins.com. This week we did two crap and on demand video recaps. We did Jersey yesterday, the season finale, and we did Vanderpump Rules this week, which was super fun. We also did Vanderpump Rules last week as a video. So if you want those videos and our bonus episodes, this was a two-parter about our road trip.

So we've got a bunch of fun stuff over there for Patreon people. You can find links to our Patreon, everything over at watchwithcrapants.com. Okay. Today. Yeah, and by the way, if you are in Salt Lake City and you know one of the new cast members

of Real Housewives Salt Lake City, definitely reach out to us because we'd love to have the matter show. Hell, yes, we would love a trial by fire. You know, we don't know anything about this show yet. We don't know any of the ladies obviously. So it would be really fun to just throw them in the mix. Let's get some interviews going guys.

Yeah, definitely like, you can just, like, our email is up on our website, watchwrapins.com and then you, but you can just just message us on, like Twitter or Instagram or whatever. But yeah, that'd be so fun. Yeah, that would, that would be, I should say, to complete that grammar. Okay, everybody, today, I'm gonna stop talking so fast

I don't know why I'm so cracked out of my mind. It's because I ate a watermelon and I'm not used to these natural foods coming into my body and Apparently, I'm blaming on the watermelon. I blame the watermelon. I blamed natural things. I don't have natural things in my body Okay, my body is not built for natural things things. I don't have natural things in my body, okay? My body is not built for natural things. I know it's hard. Watermelon, watermelon can really upset the natural balance of a body's ecosystem. It really can. You know what, Ronnie, I think here's the thing with your watermelon, I think you're just

like in the fast lane with it. And I think that like you just have to like take a slow, you know, take that watermelon slow, bro. What a shocker. Here we are with Carl Gaslighting, some girl about how he has not said he's about to be serious. You just said you were in it to be serious. Two weeks ago, Carl, are we, are we forgetting, do I have to rewind through all of these fucking notes?

I've now got almost 50 pages of summer house notes. Do I need to go through them all? Classic Carl. Carl is Carl and Lindsay getting together is the train wreck. We knew it would be because all of her faults are on display, all of his fault. They're just exhibiting past behavior that we've seen for three seasons now and they're just doing it to each other now. And I don't know if I'm loving that. I feel like I partially feel like it's a gift for us to watch this train wreck and then partially I'm just sad for us to. Um, yeah, you know, it's hard to watch, but that's Bravo. Watching a bunch of, you know,

semi-hot people, fucking and fighting and you don't really want to watch it or hear it, but here we are, you know, every single time. I think that everyone wins on this episode, except for the duvet. The duvet is the true loser this week. Yeah, but that would be a lot. It would be a lot. Yeah, and you know, duvets are not very easy to wash, guys.

They are not. They are not. Stop it, let's just stop it using them. Put a towel down. Yeah, no, I felt so bad for that duvet. I felt so bad for what went through, what it had to be exposed to, what it was put through. I mean, haven't we all been in the wash?

Haven't we all been in the duvet at some point in our lives? Yeah. I think so. All right, guys. So, Kyle and Amanda have definitely had that duvet. Mm-hmm. We open where we left off last week with a big fight between Kyle and Amanda Amanda just wants to get ready for this fourth of July party and Kyle just wants to know why he's not getting laid and also why she sleeps so late

Yeah, fun fight and she she has basically closed the door. She's in the bathroom She's closed the door doesn't want to talk to him and's like, I'm not gonna talk to you through a door Amanda. I'm like, I think that's the reason why she closed it That's the point that's the point So he wasn't trying to augment the communication at that moment He goes downstairs to wait for somebody to complain to you and this is why everybody hates couples, okay? You're ignoring us while you're together, and then the second you're fighting, we're also supposed to listen to your stupid problems. Thank you.

No one cares about you, okay? Oh my God, you're the everybody. You're in a vacation home, okay? So he's just standing there, like with lover boy on his hat, lover boy on the shirt, lover boy on his hand, lover boy on the floor, it's like, okay, we get it. Yeah, and Paige is just texting with Perry. She's lucky, she gets to stay out of it,

but Paige, you better be careful because this is your future right here, okay? We love Paige, we love Paige, but this Perry situation, she's in danger of becoming the new Kyle and Amanda. I need to know how rich Perry is because you're only really allowed to be in relationships. I mean, she's not excited enough for him to be super rich. So he must be like, approaching middle class rich because she has too many doubts. Like this guy cannot

be too rich. I mean, if you're a decade older, you've got to be a certain amount of rich or right. I think so. And I don't like that he apparently does not seem to want to come to the summer house. And I don't like that she has to text him in the middle of a party from the front porch. I mean, he's kind of bringing her down. It's not cool. Yeah. Well, you know, don't date Fuddy Daddy's. But that's what you get. Yeah. Don't date Perry. Yeah. Yeah. So Lizzie checks in on Kyle. She's like, Kyle, like what's going on something? All right. And he's like, oh, there's just so many buttons I can't push. And I can't keep track of them anymore with Manda, you know, just like I can't even get guacamole out of her anymore

We're like we're in a hotel like we didn't have sex. I mean come on. We're in a hotel We're supposed to have sex in a hotel come on come on. It's all hell And Lindsay just happy to like fan the flames of discord. She's like, well, it's about to be an exciting time. And like you guys just got engaged just like walking into the summer house and not going straight for the rosé.

So that's why I'm scared shitless. Don't, don't, don't. And he's like aiming his lever boy up to the camera. Yeah. And then we go over to Jules's in Page and Hannah's room. And, or she's just like, man, I kind of wish I had room with someone. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, right?

Right? The girl's just there at her. It's like, yeah, Page is just like, God, God helps me. So then Carl is slapping Lindsay's stomach in bed and he's like, things will Lindsay or roller coaster rides are high. The loads are low. But I like fast rides and big scar show. You know, my favorite ride is the slaplensies tummy ride. Whoa, what a ride. Exhalerations. So then Hannah is everybody's getting ready for this party basically right and Hannah's like I hope today are mod bands up and tells me like how he feels about me but until then I can flirt with Luke

What all like face I wouldn't mind looking his face. So looks like hey Hannah Do you want to join me and going to the liquor store and pages like oh cool I'll just hang out with myself. I actually don't want to come but thank you so much for not asking Tall minutes out of man Jump Did you see that that was a lyric? No, was it it was cuz I actually had I put on the clothes captioning because I didn't know what jewels It said when she said I wish I was roaming with someone and they were still on and so I got to see the lyrics said

Living the high life living the high life and then Hannah's like we're going to the store and then Trixie goes jump Trixie Monaco let's work against suicide. That was great.. To suicide's not good. Okay, so I'll spread the wrong message. Some more house. So Luke and Hannah are going to the liquor store. Hannah's driver's license has expired. So that's a thing that happened. And they're just busy talking about our mom and Lucas trying to tell her to pump the brakes of our mom

because he's trying to get all up in that ruchu-ass, you know. It's's like what are you looking for a sugar mama? He's like, yeah, actually I'm looking for a sugar mama. He's like, well, I'm going to be a sugar mama one day probably. He's like, that's the only reason I'm tacking to ya. I'm putting my eggs in the basket and these are great eggs. I actually got them from the chicken coop back there. So these are actual physical eggs I'm putting in your basket.

He's like, I'm putting in your basket. He's like, I'm not threatened by our man, that right? Maybe you should be threatened by me. What do you think of the egg? Yeah, man. Then Kyle is still trying to make margaritas happen. Yeah, or even worse, the mullet happen. The mullet and margaritas.

Yeah, I think it's okay to switch things up, you know? It doesn't always have to be a mullet. You don't always have to rent a margaritaitas. Yeah, I think it's okay to switch things up, you know. It doesn't always have to be a mullet. You don't always have to rent a Margarita machine. Yeah, I mean, more from crime. At least they moved on this year. Yeah, I think we, like the, the mullet thing is like a joke that no one ever really co-signed, like maybe it was funny for one season

and then like Amanda did it with him, like a second season to show that she's fun manda. But I don't think the rest of the world are for cosine. And I'm seeing it get dragged out for fourth season. I think we need to have a retirement ceremony for it. Yeah, because it's just not hilarious in every part of the country. I'm in Texas right now and I love a Walmart.

I spent a lot of time in the Walmart. And to me, it's just like, wow, so he's just got a different hairstyle today. You know? Yeah, wow, so he's just got a different hairstyle today, you know? Yeah, yeah, basically. And I guess, I guess we do have to be appreciative that they did move on from the BBC. Is remember BBC's?

That was like their scene is your drink? Yeah, I think someone finally told them what BBC means. Yeah, someone had to break it to them. They're like, what would we do with a minority on this show? What? Sorry. If you don't know what BBC is, look it up. I mean, use image search if you're at work, though.

And how many people did we just get to lose their jobs? And how many people just had a surprisingly lovely day. Hey, I haven't thought a BBC season a while. So anyway, back with the group, Kyle's like, Hey, group jealous shot. Hey, wait, page, are you doing your shot shot? She's like, um, I'm doing a shot shot. Jules is like, yeah, I think a shot shot. Page goes Amanda, do you want to do a jealous shot or a shot shot? Amandaules is like, yeah, I'm doing a shot shot. It's because Amanda, do you wanna do a Jello shot

or a shot shot? Amanda's like, I wanna hug, hug. Oh fuck off, I'm running everything you do. Seriously. And so then we see like, and now it's like the party's starting and a bunch of girls just start walking in the door and we just hear a car all go, welcome.

I'm saying of course, Carl. So, Armand shows up and he's dressed like a backstreet boy. He's got like the white t-shirt, he's got the little chain necklace, but a little necklace thing. Like he's straight out of 2000. I'm surprised he did not have frosted tips. He does seem like a guy that would have frosted tips, right?

Yeah, he probably did back then, for sure. He kind of has Max face right now in my mind, and I don't know why. Max from Vanderpump Rules. Really? Yeah, I'm thinking of Armand, and I can't really remember his face, but it's popping up his Max's face from Vanderpump Rules.

So that's how my memory is working. Round looks a little bit like a boulder you know yeah you know like that's what I'm getting yeah so our mind with his boys yeah I just wrote these boys are all gross yeah boys of a gross feather flock together I'll say that so Lindsey's like I don't know our mom that one I don't know Armand that one, I don't necessarily know what Hanna sees me, but he makes her happy. And then I'm okay with him. Yeah, and so then she walks up to Armand, and she is such a sabotager. She's like, oh, so like Armand, like one of your thoughts on Hannah, like you and Hannah,

like what do you call it? Like you guys can be boyfriend girlfriend no pressure Don't want to make a crumble into the pressure We're like hanging out right now. We're not putting a target on it. We're just calling it hanging out hanging out so he definitely has a witness protection program voice He's lead looks like he has so many secrets to Talmori Povitch He looks like he has so many secrets to Talmori Provech. Yeah. So then over at the liquor store, Luke and Hannah are picking out booze and looks like,

oh, I didn't know they had your gin here, American Beauty. See what I did there? So you were in American flag and it says American Beauty. I could put some flowers on you on the bed. Yeah. You like that? No one who's actually sat through American Beauty would say that to somebody as a compliment. Yeah.

Seriously, because I, yeah, I'm just imagining. I was going to somehow try to equate like Lindsey to a plastic black bag floating in the air, but I'm just going to let it be. If it just came back and kept hitting you in the face, you know? So basically, Hannah's like, oh, that was really cute. Put it away, put it away. And then back with Lindsay grilling our mom,

she's like, I mean, she's waiting for you. That's gonna be a girlfriend. Like is that where you see it going? Or, and he's like, oh, I don't know. I'm not putting any pressure on it. Boo, we have things to figure out. And the secrets I have to tell would blow your mind So Amanda and Paige and Jules right by the way at Lindsay's like oh yeah because she's really into you

She's really into you. I'm like you are such an under minor. Wow. I know that's why she's perfect for Carl All this is missing is Carl coming up and being oh So together she fucking look right out. That's who she really likes. Uh-uh. Yeah. Hey, Armand put your weight on me. Yeah, bro. I Can only put the right on you in an unspecified location Specifically a well in my basement Which has a basket put the lotion on it, put the lotion on it.

So, um, so Paige just like, uh, Paige tells us, I don't know Armand that well, but I love Armand. I would break it my friendship with Hanna for Armand. Okay. It's like, yeah, I love him. He doesn't shush Hannah or tell her to quiet down. He just lets her be her. And I think that's a very important quality.

I think that that's so sad that that is something you have to point out as a good quality and somebody like that's so hard to find in somebody. In other words, I know. So now Hannah Luke come back and it's like, party, party, party. And you just, and Carl, you know, it's always peppered with Carl's commentary. It's like party party party. Oh this party is looking really lit right now

Gents really lit so lit and Carl is in one of his homemade American made shirts Mm-hmm. I just love the fact that Carl likes it's home and Iron's letter song his shirt like that's his thing You know, I think it's so cute He's like oh gonna make good to make a new Letter Iron on shirt today. So have fun with your Margarita machine. I'm doing my thing, Ironing Letters on his shirt. So. Yeah, you can see more about it on my YouTube channel called

Carl DIY. It's Carl, that stands for Carl Does It Himself, which is almost upon on my Pittsburgh roots. Roots, but not quite there. YouTube channel doer. I don't even know where. Do it yourself or I don't even know where. So yeah, it's my YouTube channel called I'm taking it slow.

And basically it's a bunch of videos that have buffer issues. So you can really enjoy it. My YouTube channel called totally want to get married to you and have babies. Never said we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Alright, subscribe. Yeah, like and subscribe. It's my YouTube channel called Saturdays for the Gents and you can only watch on Saturdays and there's no content.

So Lindsay, Lindsay's like, um, is Kyle okay? Does I use some of the kitchen? He was like, oh my sky alone came to the end of the kitchen. He was like, we're not having sex. I'm like, they're not tell where I'm not having sex. I'm like, oh, no. I mean, Lindsay and Carl of course are so alarmed by it. Oh my god, this is crazy. So then Kyle sees them and goes, are you guys having a serious talk? And then he starts like, humping the air.

And Lindsay's like, come over here. Kyle, you guys having a serious talk? And then he starts like, humping the air. And Lindsay's like, come over here, Kylie Lee-toe. You're having sex with air. And he's like, God, I have sex somehow. Like, come on, Kylie Lee-toe. What if you just wager up at a boner? Yeah, what every woman wants. Yeah, that's the dream.

That's how you start romance. That woman gives that advice. Yeah, that's the woman one. He's one of me welcome up with your boner. And then we go over to Jules who poor Jules, she's trying to make friends, but no one's really welcoming her in. We see her hop up to Hannah and she's like,

hey girl! And I was like, hey, anyway, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we see Jules just floating around at one point she was like dancing with herself. You knew that somewhere Danielle was like, thank God. It's not me anymore, it's not me. I know. And she even tries with Danielle.

And even Danielle's like, um, I could be on the train right now. So that's what I'm thinking about. So Jules is like, as much as I try to integrate myself into this friend group, I don't feel that we're reciprocated at all. It gives me flashbacks to growing up in Cincinnati is the only Jordanian girl in class. Yeah, it gives me flashbacks to when you try to go on the subway with Apple Pay. It just doesn't work. It gives me flashbacks to when you just fell out of your chair for no reason.

It gives me flashbacks to when you desperately tried to get someone to room with you in your room just now and no one took the bait. Yeah, it gives me flashbacks to you, like, stalking Vages, Instagram page to see what you could buy so you could have the same outfits. It gives me flashbacks to you making big and for the entire house and everyone giving Luke the credit. And that was her entire season. That's jewels of seasons. Makes me like her more.

So then speaking of Luke, he tells us he goes, he sees the first time in my entire life that I've missed the fourth of July in my hometown. And for the past 10 years, I've been dressing up as a pirate. So I had my mom send out my costume. I'm like, wait, what? He just says it like, oh, that's a thing that you do on July 4th. You don't, that's not a thing.

Yeah, I guess I'm losing a pirate. I guess I'm losing sound. That's his thing. I mean, I thought, wow, no one has ever been more perfect for this show. You know, they've had trouble finding new cast members and not this time to the great. Yeah. Yeah. So his mom is sent out his pirate and pirate costumes. So he gets into it. And he walks downstairs and then Danielle sees him and her face just like, oh my god. It's like, I'm trying to go straight for the D and the D came straight for me instead. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh, then Kyle and Carl are on the judgment balcony, Steven's judgment balcony, which doesn't feel right. Get off that balcony. I know you're paying rent there kind of maybe, possibly, but that is Steven Stevens balcony of judgment Sirs. Yeah, well it has been turned into the balcony of lover boy promotion. Yeah, lover boy promotion So he's like, hey everyone, thanks for coming. You know what? One time we were fuck boys, but then we became lover boys Yeah, so yeah, let's make out and so they make out and like they pour they make out while pouring lever boy on top of them I'm not sure if this is what their brand is going for but it's this is where it's at and cars like no Everyone go and have some fucking fun. Yeah, but take it slowly. Okay, take it slowly

So then Lindsay gets jealous of course, of course, of of course Lindsay would get jealous of the stupid kiss She's really the stairs and like jumps on Carl starts kiss again. I'm like Hi, how are you? Harri oh hi Hard ill Yeah, so then Luke is in the kitchen and had us with our mom and She's like arm on this, this is Juliana. This is, Armand, this is Juliana.

Oh, and Luke is the answer to this. She did Luke, I guess, right? No, no, no, she does introduce Armand to someone named Juliana, who's off screen. Oh, she's like, this is Juliana because of course there's a Juliana at the party. Like, how do you have a party like this and there's not a Juliana?

Hopefully Margulese. And this is Juliana Margul party like how do you have a party like this and there's not a Juliana hopefully Margulese And there's Juliana Margulese who refuses to be on camera, but she is here So any questions you have about you are or the good wife. Please feel free to ask them to her right now Yeah, she's like Juliana. He's like my boyfriend right now. That's who she said it to you So then Luke's like Mac and a la and bored This is boy, so he goes up to Hannah, and- Thank you for not long about that. Yeah. Thank you, Luke, for being honest.

That's about life. That's about feelings. I couldn't tell you were bored by the way you were roving around the kitchen aisle and dresses a pirate waiting for people to be like, hey, you're dressed like a pirate. Yeah. So he goes up to them and he's like,

hey, we're just gonna make Shad Hannah. Oh, how you doing, bro? And Hannah just stares at him. And Armand is like not the most charismatic guy in the world, so he's just cares at him and our mom is like not the most Charisma in the world so he's just No, he's doing he's doing that thing where he's like popping his head as if there's music playing but there's no music playing He's like yeah sweet in Sweet dude, but there's like I'm like if you're expecting LMFAO to start playing it's not gonna happen Yeah, so Hannah's like he always dresses like this and she goes to get him a shot. And he's like, so what's that brother? How you doing? And he's like, so how long have you

guys been together, huh? I care deeply about her. You're gonna take good care of her, huh? And Armand is like, oh, my relationship is between us and I don't want to talk about it. Those files have not been on classified yet. So I'm not at liberty to tell you about them anything yeah that's scared of that guy okay yeah that's my competition there's no fucking way I'd like to see him get into a tiny gymnasium with me and hockey stick okay yeah and Arman tells Hannah he's like uh yeah I'm not gonna be threatened my Jack Sparrow. I would not be threatened. Uh, you should be because Jack Sparrow is Johnny Dapp. Okay. Yeah, you know who always wins? Who always wins? Johnny Sparrow. Jack Sparrow always. He always wins. Even though I stopped watching after the second one

I trust that he continues to win in the future ones. Yeah me too And I know who we winds up with at one point penalty crews, I think so there. That's a win Page is page comes over to talk to Danielle. She's like I miss you and Danielle's like well. How are you? She's I don't know why I don't know I think it's because like I didn't have a boyfriend as well for so long and like now I have a boyfriend and it's like What do you do when you don't have a boyfriend at a party? And he goes just dance You're asking me to drop me the elevator low

Yeah, yeah, if anyone knows how to entertain themselves without a boyfriend at a party is Danielle, okay? Come on Danielle give her some help. I don't like seeing this side of Paige. Last season Paige was very strident and she was, you know, self-assured. She didn't like need to... Well, I shouldn't say she didn't need a man's attention to determine her happiness because she's sort of a little bit in the car. But, this season watching her moap around, like not know how to have fun if Perry is not there, is like, it's not the page that I came to love.

And I will continue to love Paige. She's one of my favorite people in Bravo, but I want to be stronger. I want to be stronger. She just went on the KC podcast and said that the cast that needs to be recast the most is Real Housewives of New York. So she won that win. Okay, you know Paige, you're dead so to on that one okay you know page you're dead to me you get out even watch

New York do even watch New York page you're gonna cry you're gonna bring Perry into this and then say recast New York how dare you how dare you how dare you kick her out what is wrong with you page I need to hear justifications for that be that awful your capillaries believe it. Get the fuck out of here Jewels is the new page. How about that apple pan all the subways? How about that exactly? I stand for apple pan subways Wow see that's all it took But yeah last year she was she was playing this whole like I don't even man I'm a strong woman, but then she was like kind of letting the carol thing happen all summer

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Yeah. But yeah, I still like her too. So people are dancing, dancing, dancing, and Lindsay tells Carl, um, you know, I'm a brang brang man. And he's like, no, we're having a party like, oh, you're not allowed to have a break. Uh, fun. It's fun.

But basically, she's saying, can we have a moment and be boyfriend and girlfriend and like, you tell me I'm pretty pretty I am, and we make out. And he's like, no, I'm not going to do that because today I'm going to pretend I never told you that we were dating. So yeah, exactly. By the way, this episode, every season, there's like a new thing that Carl says. And this episode is the debut of Life is Good. Life is Good.

Life is Good. Which I don't think he says right here, but I can imagine It's like in his brain. That's where it starts like after she's like can we have a break? He's probably like oh, you know, I should have said to her Who takes a break when life is good life is good life is good. I'm gonna use that I'll use that a little bit life is good Pages yeah, so pay is this page calling Perry right now? It's hard to tell, so much is happening. It's all very relevant.

And no, right now Paige is upstairs and she's about to go into her room and she hears sex noises. And such, oh my God, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say? And how does it say something? And she's like, I'm just going in.

So, she goes in. And we just see a girl's legs, flung up in the air. Yeah, up. And the thing is that you can see that Bravo had to crop out the sex. Like they zoomed in. So it was like a little bit a lot more artifacts.

And it's just like a leg flopping and like a... You know, it's full on. Yeah. So, Paige is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no So, pages like, no, why don't you feel comfortable doing that on anyone else's bed other than their own. Yeah. So, she kicks them out and she's like, oh, we had a good time at our party. Thank you for coming.

And I was like, oh, you guys, that's our bedroom. That's so gross. Do it in Lindsay's next time, okay? Yeah. And then we see the bed and there's like Starbucks napkins crumpled up on the bed. Yeah, it was like, it was pretty graphic. I was like, wow, we have reached a new depth. And then meanwhile, so then by the way, page does call Perry.

She called, right, well, it doesn't matter when she called, but she calls Perry, and she's like, Hi, I miss you. Like, literally, I'm sitting on the front porch talking to you While there's a huge party going on. It's like just like really hard to have fun with that parry I mean, especially now that everyone's co-coupled up. I mean except for jewels, but like no fancy jewels, but I mean Come on, and then just show jewels like alone doing like her dance like all right Danielle says this will work So I'll just dance here in the middle until someone notices me. Oh, poor jewels.

I know, poor, poor jewels. Oh. So then Paige goes to Amanda and she's like, um, we just saw some guy, you got a girl on her bed. And Amanda just falls to the ground. She goes, who invited these trash people? And you just see Kyle kicking a huge ball past them and then being in all all over every single bus. Yeah, wonder who she maybe it was Juliana. Hey, Juliana, did you invite that girl? Juliana? Juliana? I feel like actually Paige walks around and asks Juliana for

things. Juliana? Juliana? Hey, Juliana, did you see my video? You like my video, Juliana? Juliana? Oh, it's time for commercial. It's time for it. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. That crap is commercial. So then our mom is kissing Hannah and he's like, we're leaving. We are coming back later though. Second. Oh, OK. So Luke and Carl and Lindsay are on the couch and looks like, oh, god.

You know, why isn't anyone sitting on my lap? Why don't you guys just come over here and sit on my lap. Let me tell you a good story about how Haki got started. Kim Ad. Haki. Kim Ad. And not to be confused with Haki Sack, which is also pretty good story.

They're actually related Haki and Haki Sack. By the way, we should mention that the way this entire interaction started was Carl sitting next to Luke and saying, oh dude, you good bro. And he's saying, stars and stripes at called. And they asked, dude, you good bro. And he's saying, oh, stars and stripes are called. And they ask, dude, can we get our stripes back? Because I'm wearing stars and stripes sacks. And Carl goes, dude, socks to be you.

Oh. So they do sit on his lap. And looks like, well, I just wanted the gold and the treasure and the X and the SPAT. And Carl goes, the booty, if you will. Do you think, oh, the booty is Hannah. I was like, oh, is he like, well, you should have some around him, Hannah, bro. It's like, that's the lady trying to date Carl.

Yeah, it says the lady, like, who, whose last relationship was with, like, a PTSD, like, wasp bro, who is completely emotionally unavailable to anyone or anything except like I don't know maybe a can of pickles or something but either way I don't I don't know where I went with that it was strange but Luke was like so loose like soul are you guys gonna get married and Carl's like no no No Mamie I mean Mamie that was rude that was rude. He said now that was rude hold on hold on I was rude that was rude We're not like boyfriend and girlfriend. I told you about my commitment issues on divorce fear And now you want to talk about Marge

Exactly what we said he was gonna do. I mean exactly So he's like Lindsay Lindsay cuz she like storms off and he's like do. I mean exactly. So he's like lunzzy lunzzy because she like storms off And he's like who am I missing something? Yeah, I think you're missing that part where you were like hey I don't want to just mess around like I'm looking to settle down with somebody Yeah, this is why he always says I want to take it slow because he says it every season He always acts like he gets in the fat like he wants it to go fast But he says it every season. I just want to he gets in the fat like he wants it to go fast but he says it every season I just want to go slow because that way he has a built-in excuse to not have to deal with the like to do

things like treat his lover with respect or have boyfriend girlfriend moments or have to commit to anything beyond just having sex because so at the moment that someone demands something of him that's more than just like a finger bang he could be like whoa but I said I wanted to take a slow and you're not like appreciating my boundaries yeah yeah that's pretty much Carl Carl's so the Lindsay's no angel either just say no yeah but Carl really like Carl's bad I mean Lindsay's crazy but Carl really like Carl's bad. I mean, Lindsey's crazy, but Carl really does He says shit like that

But then he also gets them believing like yeah, I'm totally in this I'm totally into you It's just you and then he says 10 different things so he can always go back and say but I said that and he has Like a script that he can choose from you know exactly Although the where Lindsey goes wrong is that she is always looking for a fight. She is always looking. She's always ready to believe the worst in someone and she has the real codependency issues. She's also right.

I mean, all the stuff she was saying about Everett, he was fucking around on her all the time. And all the stuff she's saying about Carl, he is pulling back. She's not so crazy that she's just seeing something that's not there. Just because she's trying to, it doesn't mean people aren't coming after her. Right. She just keeps going for assholes and then wondering like what she's

with an asshole because you keep dating assholes even though you know they're assholes. Yeah. Exactly. So now I love dating an asshole. Oh my god. So it's time to go out tonight. So everyone's getting ready to go out. Some people going out, jewels is like, are you going out? Cause I'm going out. Is it you going out? You're going out?

Yeah, you're going out. And Daniel goes, does a bear sit in the woods? Y'all going out. You know that jewels is in that, I know the position that jewels was in. She wants to go out, she wants to create bonds with like Hannah and Paige,

but then Paige is like, I'm gonna stay in, and then Hannah's gonna be hanging out with Luke. And so now Jules is stuck with Danielle, and she's like, this is not what I wanted. Yeah, and she tells Paige. She's like, if you want to sleep in my bed, you can totally sleep in my bed. You should sleep in my bed.

Like, if you want to, she's asleep there. And Paige is like, actually, I'm gonna watch a movie with Amanda first and Okay, but sleep my bed though, okay, and then I'll come smug Slater We can watch them we can watch a movie later too like Maybe will maybe it's a maybe two movies for you tonight like and and one and one with Amanda and one with maybe one with me I don't know. I don't know like do What movie you're watching tonight?

Yeah, what what is it when I want to watch we can watch a movie on my bed? I'll do every line from the movie if you meet me in bed every mind see you in bed In bed, so then linting car. I'll just want to remind you. No, just just want to remind I actually I just want to remind everyone that Jules does have an open bed. So if Paige wants it, it's totally, totally cool. So then Lindsay and Carl begin another ridiculous fight. It's about nothing and going nowhere. So they're getting ready to go out. In towels.

Lindsay's like, why don't we just see him together? Which means Lindsay wants some boyfriend, girlfriend time, where you just say, hey, I don't need to party for a day and try to get laid. I'm just gonna hang out with this girl. I just said I wanted to spend time with her, whatever. Yeah, and he's like, oh, seriously? It's suddenly not in the Hamptons. I just want to have fun. It's like that Cindy Lauper song, but readjusted to 2020, so it's like not girls, just want to have fun, it's Carl's just want to have fun. Carl's just want to have... Jents. Just want to have fun. That's all they want. That's all they want. Jents and lyrics that I don't know, cause you could Jensen just wanna have fun.

Feels calm but also like it. Alright, alright, alright, alright. Let's discuss this. Let's discuss this. Is this fun? Is this fun right now? I was like, are you into this? Like, what are you doing here?

Pulling back. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I'm not telling you what I feel. You're pulling back. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I'm not telling you what I feel. The world is not going to end right now, unless you tell me that they're no longer manufacturing short shorts, so we need to get our clothes on

because it's Saturday night in the Hamptons, and I'm looking to get run over by Lizzie Grubman, okay? Are people still creating letters that you are not a T-shirts? Yes, then okay, the world is still fine going out. Yeah, and then he's like, it's okay, it's okay. It is okay. Life is good. Life is good. Wow, that's so great.

Life is good. Life is good. You just say 20 times the step is it? Life is good. Yeah, life is good. You know what, wait, let me try to say it with my, bring my hands, bring my hands out wide, closing my shoulder blades just a little bit. Life is good. You know what's wait? Let me try to say it with my putting my hands flinging my hands out wide, closing my shoulder blades just a little bit. Life is good. Wow. Wow. That felt great Great, great work me. So page and Amanda are like, oh my god. There are so many good snacks in the pantry Let's go on a snack ride. The jewels is just in the pantry like hi I had a feeling as a beat down here. Just want to remind everyone there is a vacancy in my bed tonight, so I'm Lizzie and Carl keep fighting, but now they're dressed and she's like, um, I will not know the hamptons fucking social

Madden why will not budding all I want to get out of this stupid house and I called an uber so we'll go wherever we want house and I called an Uber so we'll go wherever we want. It's part of the idea. And Lindsay lives on the floor and he's like, this is not fun. We are not dating. Okay, we are not dating. It's just like, we're not dating or not dating now. Really? We're not.

I don't want to fight. Like Tina Turner says, I don't want to fight. I want to have fun. Hashtag life is good. Okay. I don't want to fight. No war. I do too. I do too don't want to fly it no war I do too I need to I

want to have fun but like you don't have to get mad I'm not mad you're the one who's getting upset I'm I'm not going out I'm not gonna I'm not gonna go out to go out you tonight if you're gonna I think I'm having curls a Lindsay's line which is really funny because I think she's gonna I'm not gonna go out with you tonight if you're gonna say that really funny. Cause I think she's one like, I'm not gonna go out with you tonight. If you're gonna act like this. He says that. Oh, he says that? Yeah, because now she's like coming for him.

He's taking her side. He's taking her side. And then he reaches out to her and she like pushes his hand away and he goes, do not touch me. Do not touch me. We're not girlfriend and boyfriend. And I'm not going out if you're gonna act like this. And she's saying,

but I need consistency girl. I need consistency. And then she follows him. He tries to come to the room and close the door behind him. And he's like, do not touch me. Do not touch me. We're all boyfriend and girlfriend. Like she's abusing him or something.

Yeah. And then she pushes the door of the door and she stabs the door up. And we go to commercial break. And his phone falls down. Carl bad things always happen in your door jam. Every single time, every single season, whether it's a watermelon getting destroyed,

the watermelon is back, or your phone falling down. Just stay away from your door jam. Yeah. So when we come back, just in case we forgot who these people were, it's like Carl, sales slash business development. Yeah, and we see it again. She's like, I need a consistency girl

and like, slams the door, but do not touch me. And he goes, wow, I'm really getting like, PTSD. And then we get a montage of Lauren Merckis going nuts on Carl, you know. He's like, huh, Carl, do you ever think that maybe you might be the common denominator here? Like, these things don't just happen. It's my dad's fault.

I told everybody already, it's my dad's fault. I told everybody already. It's my dad's fault. Come with that. Right. But then the same goes for Lindsay, because then she's crying in the kitchen. She's like, I got bait and switched every fucking relationship by man. He didn't put me first.

He then put me first. And like, we'll stop dating known douchebags. Yeah. I'm when she goes. He didn't put me first. Danielle goes, are you sure? Yeah. And Danielle's like, wow, are you sure? I'm yours. I'm yours. And Danielle's like, wow, they've gone from the honeymoon phase

to wanting to kill each other and it's only been a week. I want to be supportive, but am I surprised? Does the bear shit in the woods? Did you guys get that the first time? Because that's, that's just funny. Wow, their relationship went from honeymoon phase to argument phase faster than it takes the L.I.W.R. to go from South Hampton to Penn station. Am I right everyone? Wow. So then Carl is at a club dancing, ass dancing with some random.

And then it's 142 Armandah and Hannah come home to bone. And she's like, we had to take the comfort or off because someone was having sex at a bad. Yeah. And he's like, what about the she says, no, where is only on top? Hmm. So they go into the bathroom to have sex in the shower. And she's like, I was really hoping that the party would make Armand like really show that he, he cares for me. But there are other ways he could do that too. Like having sex in the shower, right? Yeah.

So we're right. It's our. And then Luke comes home and he's like, Hannah, whoa, my bad, my bad, whoa. Yeah. And Kyle's in the kitchen and he's just, he's just doing the menswear house slogan. He's like, you're gonna like the way you feel. Just drunk doing menswear house, which I actually really appreciated.

Yeah. And then there was this shot of Luke. He's like sitting in bed and he goes, okay, one, two, three, go to bed. He lies down in bed. And he's like, I'm gonna go to bed. I three, go to bed. I'm in bed. I was like, that makes so much sense. That is totally how male models go to sleep. So then Hannah and Armand, everybody wakes up at next morning. And well, we should

point out that Paige went to sleep and Amanda's bed with her, which meant that Kyle had to sleep on the chair. So even though it meant putting Kyle on the chair, Paige still would rather be with Amanda than go into Jules' bed to sleep with her. I know, Jules probably came home like, ha, ha, ha. Oh, hi, Paige.

Just started like brushing the hair of the pillow next to her. She probably walked through the hallways like, wow, it's so nice to have an entire bed to myself. I can't believe that there's room in my bed and no one seems to be aware of it, right? Room in my bed, everyone. Room in the bed. Room in the bed. So everybody's waking up in Hannah and our mod wake up and she's like, oh, it is shower

last night, ratchet it. He's like, after the pool. That is sarconic of you. So like, I'm just a natural beauty. I don't have to shower ever. Yeah, the man is like, Kaya, you fell asleep with your clothes on again last night. What are we saying about that? He's like, ah, can we have sex? We have sex. No. Poor jewels wakes up alone and then she like wakes up and then just like flops over again. You could tell for a glimmer, for a moment there, she was hoping that she would wake up and page would be next to her. Yeah.

She wasn't. So then Carl goes to wake up Carl. Why? We don't really know. He's like, sorry to wake you up, but I wasn't expecting an empty bed. And Carl's like, welcome to Psychoville. Yeah, this place was insane last night. It was like, she knocked the phone out. She touched me. She touched me. I mean, it's not cool. So then Lindsay goes up to Dan Yel and she's like, he got the really selfish and like wants to just run away and she's like, Oh, he got the release selfish and like, one city's runaway is like, what the fuck? Like, Nagle, Nagle.

Yeah, and Danielle's like, yeah, he seemed very content in doing what he wanted last night. Er, so then cuts to Kyle and Carl, still talking about it. And Kyle's like, what was she mad that you went out? And he's like, yeah, wow, that sounds like a relationship. And we're not even in a relationship like I took her on one date Yeah, Kyle's like, well, this is Carl's fault because Lindsay is the mayor of psychotown

Population one and then we get a montage of Lindsay throughout the seasons I'm gonna go sleep in a guy's house. Oh, hey guy in a bad I was waiting for the rest of Lindsay Fimsy. Oh, I love a good Lensley montage. No, I was going to let you I was going to let you trade off with me. I was I didn't want to hog the entire. No, girls, or I didn't even write them down. I was just like, wow,

this is a time I can start typing. It's her saying, I'm going to leave it at guys house when the guy in a bad and then there's another shot of her like yelling at the guys like, oh, I'm going leave it like guys out when the guy in a bed. And then there's another shot of her yelling at the guys like, I'm gonna go to the middle and then last season, why are we having a coming here? Like I'm gonna even walk into a gangbang as if any of that made sense.

That's what's the, I love when she has some nonsensical things to to scream about. Yeah. So then we come back and Carl was like, oh my God, I just started kissing her like last weekend. One kissing, one finger bang, no dick touching. And then he throw his arms in the air like, what is this? What is that?

What is that math? Yeah, life is supposed to be good. And this is what we get. I mean, it's crazy, you know? So he's going to go talk with, he's going to go have a conversation with Lindsay potentially to end this madness. And Kyle's like, yeah, we're gonna get that dick touch.

Yeah. So that way everyone's like in the kitchen and Hannah is saying that she still doesn't officially have a boyfriend still, because our mom did not ask for exclusivity. And so they're just like chatting and Lindsay walks through like death and everyone's like silent as she walks through, you know. Death in the bikini.

Yeah. Yeah. So then she and Danielle are, yeah, she and Danielle talking again outside about, oh, you know, now you're gonna have to talk to Carl. Oh. Yeah. And then meanwhile inside the kitchen, Amanda's like, why is this bacon taking so long? Like, who was the idiot that tried to make the bacon

at this temperature? And you could just like imagine drools being like, I'm trying so hard. I can't get it. So, Carl's just standing outside being all passive aggressive, like just standing there alone on his cell phone. And then he goes, hang on.

And he's like, oh, I don't know where you want me to sit, but I'm gonna stand here anyway. Yeah, I'm a little awkward. Take your time and he's like, oh trust me, I'm going to take as much time as I want. Y'all, y'all, it's ridiculous. So they all sit down to eat breakfast together and it's really quiet and awkward and then it's really, really quiet and really awkward. And they're meant to it's like, anyone?

And girls are like, oh, it's condonized, not here, and get a one talk, actually. So, life is good when it's quiet. Yeah, life is good when it's quiet. And Hannah's like, are we cool to have a fun day or do people need to talk shit out, which is my way of saying, you guys need to talk shit out, okay? And they notice that page has been like very quiet, more quiet than usual, because she's

sort of at a base level quiet. And so she's like, yeah, I just like, I want to hang out with Perry and I'm just, I'm going to come next weekend, okay? And Hannah's like, oh, is he pushing for that? And she's like, well, I just, you know, I just I feel like it's been three weekends. And so I just want to like have one with him. And Danielle's like, um, I wish it could be both. Like, why can't Perry come and hang out with us?

And I could just feel Lindsay's eyes like at Danielle. Like, oh, you think you're coming back next weekend? Non-full time cast member us. Since when are you part of the us? Yeah. Guests. Yeah, I know. Is she here all the time now?

Maybe. It's like you're fired kind of. Not really,. Guests. Yeah, I know. She hear all the time now. Maybe. It's like you're fired, kind of. Not really. But we just don't want to pay this around. We just don't want to pay this around. Okay, trained lady. She's been fired twice in three seasons. It's amazing.

Yeah. So pages like, there's two pages. Like, there's party page and there's Perry page. And like, they're both talking at me. And like, I don't know what side to go on. And so Hannah's all upset that she's gonna miss the weekend. And she's like, who am I gonna poop with? Yeah, she's like, I'll have cute little poops.

By the way, party page, go with party page. That's the page we want. So Kyle, Kyle goes up to Amanda. After breakfast, Kyle goes up to Amanda and then we go, can we have sex? She's like,ai-o. So then Carl and Lindsay are having a talk and he's like oh well Jen some glad for fault we're all here because we can agree that life is good and uh I'm glad that we're talking over super uh because last night you were uh. I feel I felt I felt so bad for that aunt that aunt You were

I felt I felt so bad for that aunt that aunt like had entered pans labyrinth all that hair on his body Wow that poor aunt was like I'm never getting out of here Like no that aunt had no chance It was in some very whimsical artsy maze at that point Just Just like when you enter Carl's, when you enter, start walking on Carl's skin, it is like goodbye. You're not coming out of there. So he's gonna like have this breakup speech, right? That's what he's been planning to do. So he's like, well, there's just like a lot going on with you and there's like this friction and like you're asking for a lot.

I'm just like, what am I asking more, Carl? Like, oh, you said you wanted consistency, so. I just, I don't want to live my life where we're like fighting and waking up and apologizing, you know, because that's what all my other relationships are like. And I'm trying to grow up, you know, it's Carl 65.0. And like, is this what we should be doing right now? And she's like, uh, I'm really making signals from you, Carl. Like, are you still in this?

Like, just the other, I mean, it was three days ago, Carl. Yeah, and he goes, yeah. Oh my God. I know. I mean, mixed signals. I mean, they're both getting mixed, they're both giving each other mixed signals. So she, so even though this is Carl's breakup speech, when she says, are you still in this? He goes, yeah.

Uh, you and I complement each other in like so many ways. And I just, I don't want to deal with all this dumb fighting, you know? And she's like, yeah, you make me laugh in smile more than anyone in the world. Just want to refresh your mind on that one. He's like, oh, yeah, okay. Can we give you a kiss? Or can, yeah. And everyone's like, seeds from afar, they're like, oh, they're kissing. Yeah. Because while this is happening, the girls were sitting there like, I think it was pay.

Someone was like, can we just like pray that they break up so we don't have to deal with this intensely annoying situation that we had last night? All summer long, and pages just like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. Yeah, and then Carl tells us oh I'm a pussy Like I have a bad track record record of breaking up with the girls like how do you break up with your boss from oh? Yeah, we have a flashback of him trying to break up with Lindsay. I'm not Lindsay I mean Lauren workers and he does the same thing and he's like yeah, I just do to go slowly so Can I give you kiss? It's like what yeah, I just do to go slowly. So can I give you a kiss? It's like, what's the breakup is this? So then everybody is basically getting ready to leave. And Kyle comes up to him and he goes, I feel like this is our routine. It's just like, what Kyle come to the Hamptons pack,

leave the Hamptons. He walks off all mad. He didn't even consider my guacamole making in that routine that I presented to him. Then everybody just has problems getting out of the house. Jule breaks an nail on her suitcase. Page for her pillow and the door hits head on the way out. Like I think this house is like please get out of me. Okay. I hate all of you. So now we're back in New York, which means we get to see what everyone's doing like fake work time So we we start with Carl at Kyle's apartment, I guess making calls. He's like, huh

I'm with a new hard sparkling tea product called lover boy And I was trying to get in touch about setting up some time to talk about it and the guy in the phone is like Yeah, I think the best way is to speak to one of the partners he goes, awesome. Yeah, he's calling Marshalls. It's like basically his mom doing a deep voice. Oh yes, Carl. Why don't you speak to one of my partners, Carl. I'm so proud of you. So we got a page. I love that they only show page taking selfie cams on her Instagram. She's like, okay guys This set is for lunch on a Saturday or you can go to the grocery store Cut to cut to jewels at the grocery store in the same outfit. She said it's perfect for it Thanks for that for deep

So then we see jewels talking to her mom on Facebook and she's like, I'm lonely. And then on Thursday. Her mom is by the way beautiful. Can we give some shout out to Jules? I mean, Jules is also very pretty. But her mom, I was like, look at this beautiful mother right here. I just get a gift from her. She's like, don't be, don't worry honey, don't be hard on yourself.

I'm proud to realize what a wonderful person you are. The first time they spend the night with you to watch goonies. Have you tried that? Yes, mom. Have you tried putting little candy bars in the bed so they can maybe come in? You know, do you see, do you know Hansel Grattle? There are some lessons to be learned from that.

Thursday, hammers, tape, tools, Luke is doing tool things. Yeah, oh yeah, I love this. Luke goes, you know where I'm from, you have to work hard in hustle to get by. So while I'm coaching hockey and modeling, I'm also in the process of starting my own jewelry company. Officially in my, I love you. Also, how does he live in New York City? Like, bottling and coaching hockey and making jewelry,

and he can have a roof over his head in New York City. How does this work? Who is he scamming? He's home. He's got to be home. He's got to be, he's got to be home. So he tells us why he explains why jewelry runs in his veins. He goes, well, my great grandfather was a blacksmith, and my dad made jewelry when he was in prison.

So then Hannah, he's like, I can also make license plates. Yep, which also explains how I can pay my rent. Oh, sorry, drop, drop that. Well, then, can't we get me get this? Great, get. I'm like, can we get me get this? Great. I'm like, are we just gonna just leave that there? Your dad was, did he explain why his dad was in prison in the previous episode? Because I made some bad choices.

Oh, yeah, made some bad choices. Yeah, I think it was rather than a bad choice. He tried to make the jewelry instead of make the jewelry. Yeah. Oh, so Hannah comes over because she's good at viral videos. I make viral videos. Yeah, so she comes over to do some social media content that way he can get his jewelry business off the ground.

She's like, okay, say I'm Luke, I'm a male model, but I also sell jewelry. He's like, I'm Luke, I'm a male model, but I also sell jewelry. She's great. Now let's do it again and take her shirt off. And he does, he does it. It was perfect. Full on soap dish. Like what a great tribute to Carrie Fisher in soap dish.

It was so funny. And I like when he's like, well, you know, you know, I think that Hannah has this talent of creating viral videos and it cuts to Hannah going, oh, I've got a blister on my lips, still guys. It's not her bees. He's back to him. She could help me. And then she's directing him she's like okay look up it smile okay now pretend you have a personality. Oh my goodness. Like I maybe it gave me like such a rush to see someone finally talk like that to a male model. It was like, finally, someone's doing that. Yeah, just bossing him around. Yeah. And he does everything so perfectly and so charmingly.

I love him. He's probably a serious guy. I know. God, my God. Yeah. So then Hannah's like, um, okay, well, that's a wrap. And he's like, uh, but has your week hanging with your boyfriend. She's like, he's not my boyfriend.

You think, good, you want to go on a date? How would you feel if I asked you that? She goes, oh, what does that mean if you were going to he's like I want to ask you What would you want to date? She's like, I can't believe you're asking me this. Okay. Yes, I'll do it. Yeah, fuck yes, I will Yeah, she's so she basically says she feels like she's running in place with Armand Which maybe more because he's always were moving like he's Dancing to something But that there might be more than just a physical attraction with Luke so we will see

Oh god, hey, look at this show really needs we really need to end with another kyle and a matter of ad for each other See like how I love I love when they they make this the cliffhanger for the week cuz god I just go through the entire week summer house style Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday just wondering wow Will things ever turn around for Kalan Amanda can't wait I just so lay miss relationship ever just break up. I know break up or have sex either way. I don't care anymore just break up. I know. Break up or have sex. Either way, I don't care anymore.

So they're sitting there outside, but it's also raining. And Amanda's like, it's really fucking pouring out. And she was like, yeah. And it's just like silence. Yeah. Okay. I know it seems like I'm on your case, but I'm on your case. Cause like, you get up late and I get up earlier.

And I'm not on my bed. Oh, not my bed. What do I have to be your dad? I'm like, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, not my dad. It's like, what do I have to be your dad? I'm like, oh my god, I'm going home. Yeah. Also, like, because he's like, I mean, I don't want to be your dad and like, you know,

it's just that like, it's like, you know, I don't want to have to be like nagging you to wake up. And she's like, you know, I'm not a morning person, Kyle. I'm like a bitch in the morning. And he's like, well, that's something you have to work on. I'm like, you're such a dad. He's like, it's 9 a.m. on a work day. I mean, like, why is it my responsibility

to get off the couch where you've been for a month? I'm like, Kyle, as a dawn on you, that maybe Amanda is depressed. Like, do you see these symptoms are like so blatant? Can we, can you just like address this for a second? It's like, it's not my fault that you're always sad all the time in line and can't get out of bed.

A man. Well, yeah, and the answer, like if you did talk to her about it, it's like, hey, you seem really like you don't, maybe don't want to get married right now. The world I answer is, well, you just cheated on me five minutes ago and I've traumatized. Yeah. What kind of answer are you going to be looking for here, buddy? He's like, I just need help with the wedding planning, you know? I just feel like we're like totally far behind the wedding planning. And she's like, we had need to help with the wedding plan. You know, I just feel like we're like totally far behind

or the wedding planning. And she's like, we had a venue and it fell through. It's like, it's okay, it's fine. We'll get a new venue. No, she doesn't want to get married. She's putting it off. Yeah, right. Maybe I actually think that she is depressed,

which the depression may be caused by that or whatever, or like I think I'm getting a depressed, a depressive vibe from her. I think that she just needs like to do some therapy or whatever, do what she needs to do, but it's like, she's just sort of like, she's sad, she looks sad right now. She always looks sad. Like when was Amanda ever, and maybe she's just a depressive person,

I don't know, but like when has Amanda ever been jumping around happy, you know, she's always, yeah, she's crying. I never make sure she's been on this show because she was wanting to be with Kyle, but then he didn't, didn't want to be with her. He just wanted to be with other people. And then she finally got Kyle, but then he was always cheating on her. Like the only time we really see her smile is when she's playing with her friends, you know, or making guacamole.

And I think that like, I think, I mean, I think there's like maybe something, it's probably a little bit of both in what we're saying. She probably is depressed. She probably doesn't want to get married. She probably is traumatized from everything. She probably thought moving in with fix, whatever it was. And it didn't fix it.

All that stuff. And then she also tells us that she feels like Kyle doesn't accept her for her. And she just, like, she feels like she's not what he expected. I'm like, it's time for therapy guys. Yeah, have fun guys. Yeah, have fun. We'll see you on like next week on the, like the,

in the, well, we were gonna get that scene. I guarantee next week of Kyle and Amanda in therapy. Oh God, please don't do this to me. Like, I want you to get therapy, but not on TV. Do it on the offseason, okay? It's bad enough watching you guys do things I like, like eat. Also, I need an update on Kyle's turtle. I would like that as well.

Well, yeah. Well, for an offseason. Well, for an offseason. That's it, scan it for a week. That means it's Friday. We're gonna go do weekend things. Like, not go to the Hamptons, okay? We're gonna do it.

Yeah, or like, not sleeping in the sand bedons okay yeah or like not sleeping to say in bed jewels yeah yeah everybody have a great weekend and do not sleep in the bed of jewels okay white so terrifying but apparently it is so no deal it don't do it don't trust the bacon good night everyone think good night is the day bye Bye everyone, see you next episode. Good bye! Bye, yeah! Bye! Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.