Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Craige

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo*  Craig shows up on this week's Summer House to claim Paige and rage against Lindsay. Carl tries to get some heat going with Ciara, and the new guy finds meatable things to ingest. This week's bonus episode is part two of a Top Chef Contestant Breakdown. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and for those of you who couldn't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwc until this Friday.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Boom's the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on yo-props. I'm Ronnie.

Hi everybody. How are you? Guess I'm with. He's hot. Samson, he's nice. He's good-hearted as well as nicely-bund. It's Mr. Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben.

Hi, how are you? Good. You just cut Bueller off the screen, so. Oh, ho. Thank you for saying I'm nice. I'm kind of hard at even though I have been sorted into Slytherin. Thank you. You have been sorted into Slytherin and I'm still jealous about it. Still not okay with it. Okay. Okay.

Everybody, welcome to the show. It's Summer House Day. We're very excited. Okay, but you know what? We're also going gonna tell you about very special things we have coming up like Crapples Live. So we started last week in New York City with the crappies. That's still available to you until this Friday. The audio will also be up Friday. So don't worry, it is coming, okay? But we want you to view it.

You should see it because there's some like really, just like some good fun visual stuff. So you should watch it. Yeah. Luke was there from some house case. Go check it out. Also, we want to think the refinery hotel in New York City. That's where we stayed.

I've never stayed anywhere that nice. I mean, it was great. And they just up. Yeah, they really did hook us up. We'll be staying there forever now. The prices were great. It was like a sweet. It was amazing. Thank you. It was a good refinery hotel. Really. I mean, the first hotel I respected so much, I didn't, you know, I tried not to let my

friend get anything. She did end up getting some toothpaste. But for the most part, I was like, do not touch anything in this room. Do not embarrass me. So thank you. Thank you to Boston. And we were still in, by the way, we were snowed in on Saturday and the refinery totally accommodated us for extra nights. It was wonderful. Yes, tell them crap and sent you because we love them. Thank you to Boston, the Wilbur Theater. You guys were so good to us. We had a great time there doing the end of Vanderpump rules. What a fun recap. Go listen to that. We also did not shout out in Boston. We meant to shout out that our friends, Ash and Alaina from morbid came. So thank you. I mean, the biggest

podcast in the country. Okay. Number one, number one podcast on Apple across all categories, not just like in true crime. Number one above every single everyone right now is talking about Joe Rogan, Joe Rogan. These girls have a bigger podcast on Apple than Joe Rogan, okay? And we're just like, don't even say hi to them from stage. It's crazy. I know we're idiots, but thank you guys. It's really nice to know you, and we're so proud of you for just kicking such ass in this world.

So congrats to them. Next up, this week we're going to Atlanta to do Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere. We'll be there February 3rd. The next night we're going to Atlanta to do Real Housewives of New Jersey premiere. We'll be there February 3rd. The next night we're in Nashville, Tennessee to do Real Housewives of Orange County. And February 5th we're in Orlando at the Abbey and we're going to be doing Real Housewives of Miami. All of these are current recaps. So the schedule is a little bit wonky if you're wondering where the hell these recaps are this week. They're coming later in the week so we can do them as live shows. Coming after that we're going to be in San Diego, February 17th,

LA, Big Show in LA, to Bellosco Theater, February 18th, then we're off to St. Paul, Minnesota, March 3rd, Milwaukee, March 4th, and March 5th. We're in Chicago. We're going to 21 places. So go to watch what crappins.com for the full schedule and the ticket links, et cetera. And thank you to everybody who's been coming. Having a great time. Okay. It's been great.

It's been so cool seeing everyone and everyone's been so kind and so wonderful. And it's great. So it's great to finally be back officially on the road. It's wonderful. But for right now, we're actually back at our homes, which has also been wonderful. God, it feels great being home for even just two days.

And speaking of homes and traveling, whatever, let's get into some summer house, shall we? Some summer house. And that Craig shows up this week on summer house. We knew Craig was gonna be coming on. Wow, I didn't know he was gonna be coming on and making such a shit impression Way to enter the house, dude

It's classic Craig. I you know, I am still endlessly fascinated by this sprawling scandal that exists between Craig and Austin and Christian Cavalry and Jay Cutler and Aira and J.Lo and Madison and now Paige Like it just keeps sprawling outwards and strange ways. Yeah, and Craig, I know that you're not new to this world because you guys just all did winter house together, but you are new to summer house. You can't just come in the house acting like a jackass. You're still on somebody else's home, sir.

You need to make some kind of an effort to be nice. You can't bring your like season three, Southern Charm Energy into your first episode of Summer House. I mean, you're an ass. I'm, he probably would say that Summer House came into his house being that he was already the established Bravo personality. No, they're the show.

They're the show. No, I'm not going to give him a little shit. They're now part of him a little bit. They're now part of being. He was an asshole in this episode. That's it. He was, no, I agree, by the way. I agree.

I just was being a devil's advocate for a second. But yeah, he was, well, he didn't come in as an asshole. But when challenge, he became an asshole. But it was like funny asshole to me, so I was okay with it. But I'm not like on a side. I just think it was funny. Previously, girls take a lot of shots and Kyle was really saddened and bullet and it was July 4th. So now we start with page and bed, as usual. Just page and bed. That should be her show, just page and page talking, sit and bed is usual. Page and bed. That should be her show, just Page and...

Page's talking shit and bed. Yeah, and she's like, what a summer. What a single summer. And Sierra is there. She's like, I want to make a with Coral tonight. I want to make a with Andrea. Oh, you know what I'm really upset about? So Andrea's still...

By the way, they're still in their party. She's in bed, but they're still in that party. Because Andrea just got kicked in the face. And so we walks in, holding his nose, and I'm upset, the reason why I'm upset, Ronnie, is because through all of Winterhouse, I very much was like, you know what, I know that Andrea is attractive,

but I am like, I don't really feel it, you know? I don't see, like, I don't, he's not attractive to me. And I'm upset because he's suddenly like really hot to me, and maybe it's because he got kicked in the face. I'm not sure what it is. But I'm like really upset that I finally have been entranced and I feel like that's not cool, you know? Well, maybe it's because he,

we thought he was gonna be such a fuckboy and then this time he's like, what the really like a page? But then of course, as you guys pointed out, of course he wants a green card. Well, maybe a green card, but also wants to stay on TV, you know. He hates his gateway to being on another season of something.

He's still a fuck boy. He's just doing a different technique. This technique that he's doing this time is that he's doing like, mumble boy stuff. Like he's just sort of doing this like, little mumbling, like he's a little boy. Like, do you like my face? Is it, look, is it swollen? Is my face, so he of doing this like a little mumbling like he's a little boy like do you like my face? Is it look is it swollen is my face?

He's doing this like little boy thing that's like oh cute, but then Craig is coming in and he's doing the same thing So they're sort of having like mumble boy like a mumble boy or some are house the mumble course season Yeah, like like like cute mumble core shit, so but I think I'm I don't know it is effective I don't know he's really relying too much on this pain from getting, I mean, look, it's the same episode, just split into another week, but to me, it's still been two weeks. He's been crying about his fucking face hitting kick. And you know what? He was assaulted. That was bad, but you put your hair in the cool first. So that's true too. No, I just, I don't know on this assault.

Bravo is becoming like who was right and who was wrong in this assault. Let's replay it 25 times We're not gonna do that today, but yeah, I have no opinion on this assault anymore except that you've already got the cuddles See you're gonna get out of this and I get the fuck out of the bed. You got the cuddles already So then outside Alex walks up to Lindsay Lindsay's with some random girl, and he's Alex is just very awkward around everyone. And he's like, cheers guys. And Lindsay just starts drinking. He's like, you're gonna cheers without like toasting first?

Like, oh, who are you? And he's like, oh man, I'm freezing. So he takes Lindsay's sweater. And he's like, oh, I might break it. I might break it because of my muscles. Lindsay's like, don't you dare buy my buns? If you buy my buns, I'm gonna be activated. But I thought it was fun,

because he's trying to like reverse flirt with her, you know? Yeah, it's like, okay, you're not gonna offer me your jacket. I guess I'll just offer myself your sweater. And she's like, well, don't worry, you can buy me anyone. So that didn't work. Alex is just really bad at this. And he tells us, I have to look like Captain America year round.

Well, that's your choice, by the way. I hate to break it to you. And then you have to, for your deep career as a workout guy. He's like the Marvel movie guys only have to do it for a couple of times. Yeah, he's like, yeah, the Marvel guys only have to do it, they have to be shredded for three months, I have to do it my entire life.

You are not, no one is holding a gun to your head and saying you have to do this. Okay, so I have no sympathy for you. You chose this lifestyle and that's, don't complain to me about it. Yeah, he's like, it's really hard in my industry. Something like his industry is so difficult. Oh Alex.

So then Amanda is trying to kick everybody out. You know, so she's going up to everybody like, love you guys so much. I'm just not sure I can do this anymore. I mean, if you don't change. You're gonna have to leave. Yeah, she's basically kicking everyone out. She's giving everyone like a shot for the road and then go and going out and everything. And then meanwhile, Amanda's dad is following her around just handing everybody papers like, listen, he is a contract. If you

don't leave soon, you're gonna owe us the entire cost of this party. So then Maya is in a room and she's ordering food for everyone. She's like, okay, it's me at some salad, like a scuser. We got chicken fingers. I'm very comfortable with this because actually, I actually used to date someone in the culinary world. If you want to hear about that at all. So Matt is trying to give a little parting shot to this little red-headed lady.

Looks like some kid who just wandered in off the street, you know, and she's like, I'm party's over, here's a shot. And the girl's like, I don't drink, just never. No. We still have to get out, you still have to get out. The girl's like, fuck you. I'm just gonna, I just gonna just stand in your lobby

All right, I'm just the girl who's gonna stand in the foyer Yeah, I'm happy that girl thought that she was gonna get some sort of sympathy when she's like I'm actually I'm not a drinker. I'm gonna say well then you should get the fuck out Oh, okay me. Oh, Mal you're you're so brave for being here without drinking She's like the female equivalent of Alex, just hanging out in the foyer. Everyone's just like, who's that girl? Why is she here? Why is she breaking sweaters?

So then Kyle is like, wow, I really had a hard time with this part. For the first three hours, I was having the hardest time and eventually it got better, but this fight with a man to really bum me out, man. And Carl's like, well, you know, I'm pretty clear about that. You know what, Ciar's gorgeous, but like, I still need to get to know her.

I still need to get to know her about God. She looks great by the way. You already know Sierra, okay? You know what Sierra likes? Salads and messy beds. That's it, an awesome, okay? That's as deep a Sierra gets as far as I've seen on this. You know, the bed situation's just knock. It's they deep as Sierra gets as far as I've seen on this. So you know,

the bed, the bed situation is just knock. They're incompatible with their sheets. They're linen, their linen lifestyle is incompatible. Carl storyline this season is that he makes his bed. And that's the exact opposite of anything we've ever seen Sierra do. So Carl's really bummed out. And he's even going to complete. He's like, wow, look, I mean, all the frogs in the Hamptons are making out right now. Frogs, I've had a really, really rough time in that. Like who's that loser in the mullet? The frogs are going nuts, doesn't it?

This is gonna be like the next, like, last season was all about the broken ovens. The season's gonna be about those frogs. Every scene in the background is like, boom, boom, boom, boom, bro, bro, bro. Frog seems to come down. We're trying to shoot a TV show here, okay? So pages in the kitchen going,

why does every guy put me in a mother-fucking pickle? And then O's of beeps. What does that mean? O's beeps. That was my notes. I don't know what that means. Someone out there. Is it that Sierra heard a firework

or is it that Amanda was chasing a frog? I'm not a frog. Were you a frog person growing up? Were you someone who like to like pick up frogs? Or like two frogs? Yeah, I was chasing frogs. Yeah, we had a lot of frogs, and I would chase them.

Which, thinking back on it, super weird, because I'm from the desert. I guess I have frogs in the desert. But I just... It was maybe. Yeah, we were always chasing frogs. I just, I don't get that. Like I think, I always think it's gross,

like in a commercial where they show like a little child that picks up a frog and like holds it to the, like the camera, like look at this, childhood. I'm like, that's disgusting. Like I never want to touch a frog ever. Like I don't know why people are compelled to, like I don't, I just was never one of those kids. Are you shocked that I was never one of those kids

that wanted to ever pick up a frog? I like literally, I'm not shocked. Yeah, I'm not shocked at all. I would love it. I love chasing frogs. I love chasing lizards. Lizards are fun. I don't want to pick one up, but lizards entertain.

You know, I have, I love lizards. Lizards are probably my favorite reptile. Maybe, well, well, I was gonna say turtles, but turtles are what do you call them? But like, but lizards, because Because they're always they're so pressed. Would you say they're hardshelt. But they're amphibians. But like lizards are always like they're so pressed. Like you go up to me like, oh my god, oh my god, like literally. And then they just like run away. It's like, it's like lizard like literally calm down. Like I'm just here to say hi. Yeah, lizards are always cracked out. They're definitely like, they're definitely

like a Vanderpump rules cast remember. They're like, what? And their weight tables just as well. Yeah, exactly. Like lizard. No matter how many times they lose their tail, it just keeps coming back. Like how in the world is that lizard still have a tail. Well, it's so hard to find good bartenders, you know, so we had to give it another tail and put it right back there to make bomb dinners. So Carl is telling Sierra, he's like, oh, hey, I was just looking at my app six months over today, which I guess is like his flirting line,

which is, it's my, like it's impressive that you've been sober for six months, weird flirting line, especially to a drunk person. Cause he's like, yeah, woo, woo, my God, I jumped on him and straddles him, like burps in his face, you know, has him lick a lime. Yeah, I then Alex inside, as he's basically winning us all over

with really fastening observations. Like, my fingers smell like Cajun Shrimp. It's like, okay, great. Welcome to the show. And Amanda's like, oh my God, that's my love, my English. So just get rid of Alex. Like, is there a trap door somewhere in this house? Because I'm waiting for someone to just press a button

and to just see Alex disappear. Where are you? I know. He is the new, a myth. He's the new a myth for some warehouse, you know. And if you don't remember who a myth is, that's the point. So Dan Yelm, Dan Yelminewala still feuding with her boyfriend who took the time out

of his restaurant schedule to come all the way out to the Hamptons to cook an entire enormous seafood spread that from what we can see, like most people did not even eat, which is crazy. So she's still annoyed in that he's not willing to spend every weekend in the Hamptons. So she's like, well, I just wish today went a little different than it did. You know, I mean, the fact that you're not going to be here very often because you have a restaurant that you're opening, I mean, that's great. But like, you know, now you're choosing to do this.

Like Danielle, he hasn't, I mean, leave the guy alone. You just catered your whole thing. You just bitched at him. I mean, it just shows him sitting there like so defeated. And then she comes up to him and starts bitching at him again. How about thank you for catering my entire party, sir? Exactly. This is very out of character for Danielle. She's actually

normally the most like level headed and reasonable of all the cast members. So it's strange that she's having a selfish moment. But we haven't seen her with a boyfriend yet. You know, so now she's getting her big chance to have her like fights with her boyfriends and she's jumping all over that, but he's not the one, you know, he just stands up and he's like, this is so fucking stupid. And walks off. And Kyle, poor Kyle, just Kyle even wants the rejected boyfriend love. He wants anything he can get at this point. He's like, it's all good man, come on.

It's like no, no weird drunk mullet guy. No thank you. And so Danielle follows him. And he's like, all you're doing is giving me shit the whole time. She's like, I'm not giving you shit. I mean like you, you know, come on He's like the whole time you're giving me shit Kyle's like go me here comes a papal

Kyle you're hugging your frog. It's not Robert. So then then Daniel's like in her room And she's with Maya and Daniel's like, I don't see him enough. I mean he leaves at at 7 a.m. and gets back at 10 p.m. and Maya's like, let me tell you, I've dated a chef and those are good hours. Do you want to know more? No, no thanks. Okay, all right. I'll just wait to tell you who I dated on the next episode. Great.

So then, Kyle's like, who happened, bro? You were happy. So then Kyle's like, oh, I'm having a problem. Yeah, well, I'm having a problem. And Robert's like, I existed as a person. That's what happened. He's like, I got it. Not yet, bro. So then Lindsay is like, I don't know why I wrote this down. I got food, you want food?

I don't know why I wrote that down. Like, it literally has no impact on anything. It was a big deal. This Danielle's like, you ordered food? I own him, brown I wrote that down. Like, it literally has no impact on anything. It was a big deal. This Danielle's like, you ordered food? I ordered brown and they're like bragging about this food. They ordered the pizzas are this big, okay? They're tiny.

They're little tiny pizzas. I was very disappointed. You're never ordering food in my house. Whoever ordered this. Yeah. And then Maya has the food and she goes in and finds page and bed. She's like, oh my god, all you do is sleep, eat a carb. Which is like really like the equivalent of just like

cursing out Paige, by the way. And she also tells her, also I brought you water because I know that strange for you. Yeah, there's a big episode where we learn about Paige and her love of soda, something I never picked up on in the past three years. And so it's sleepy time and Maya's in the kitchen cleaning. And she's like, listen, I have to clean.

I think it's necessary. And then we get Maya's like, it's a no me moment where she's like, do I love things cleaned and orderly? Yes. Do I need to do it at midnight? Listen, I talk about it with my therapist, okay? I mean, I don't need to, I'm sorry. I need to clean counter and empty sink.

Yes, those are life small pleasures. Yeah. I feel bad for her that she had to do that, but that's definitely someone I wanna go on vacation with. I love the person who just compulsively cleans the middle of the night and you wake up, I mean, I'm sorry, but those people are great to have around. Well, so then, if you get an Airbnb,

would you have to fucking clean before you leave? I still don't stay in Airbnb's because of that. And whenever my friends are like, Oh my God, we're getting this great Airbnb. I'm like, I'll be in a hotel down the street. Okay, I'm not cleaning a place at vacation. I just resent how Airbnb's have strange assortments of utensils and cutlery.

There's always some strange plastic knife. And then one half of a salad spoon or something, and then a strange shape bowl, and then some mollemic butter, and that's it. It's just annoying. So I just like to have a stand. My dad is asking me if he can borrow my car while I'm out of town. Do you know how terrifying of a thought that is my father and my car? Because you know why you can't buy him?

Yes, he's terrible. He's gotten in like three wrecks in the past two years. His car is going in the shot because he keeps running over things and it broke his cool, whatever holds your coolant. So that's why his car is going in the shot. I mean, just say your car broke down. I'll just say I'm riding horses now. I gave up on cars. Sorry. There's like a rat infestation in your engine because that does happen apparently. I'm sorry to interrupt with that. I'm charging my phone so it's right in front of my face. And I was just like, no. It's called Uba. Okay, Dad, it's called Uba. Where's he have to go for four days? on my face and I was just like, no!

It's called Uba, okay dad, it's called Uba. Where's he got to go? For four days, he can just stay at home. He's in real estate, he drives all over the city. Oh my God, God help me. Okay, well here's your car, Ronnie. Go take a sledgehammer to your car, dented up so that way he can't show up at listings with a big old dented car.

He'll be worth it, it'll be worth it. Oh my God, I know it's coming anyway, right? That might as well be me who starts it out. So anyway, now it's Monday on Summer House and of course the whole place is like a mess and everyone's waking up and Robert, we see him. He goes outside with a trash bag and he starts cleaning up his seafood boil,

which I'm kind of like, wow, you left all that shelf. First of all, I can't leave all these people did not eat all that like beautiful shellfish. Second of all, that shellfish was just sitting there overnight. Oh my God, that's like a nightmare. I cannot imagine how that smelled. Well, who braised any of these people? The one who cooks does not have to clean the kitchen.

Why? I shouldn't the guy who you guys just got to cook for free all day, also have to wake up and go clean up? These people are monsters on this show. Robert needs to run. Why is Robert still here? Robert's damaged. There I said it. Yeah. There's something deeply damaged about Roger. I mean, I'm sorry. Robert, Robert. Yeah, he does have Roger energy though. So Amanda is still, you know, this ongoing caliphate that's been going on for three episodes.

The fact that we're supposed to get married in two months, and this is how we started our summer, it's a little scary and I don't know what to do. Long cry, Paz. Like she's literally sitting in the diary room like pouting her tongue's like flapping. I'm sorry to laugh when someone's crying, but I've had enough young lady.

That's all podcasting, okay. Yeah. I've had enough young lady. So, kitchen, the girls ask Andrea about his face, right? Paige is like, how's it feeling? He's like, it's feeling a better. Still, I'm still in shock. Cattle?

Cattle? Check now, sorry. I'm still sad. He's doing his cute thing. I'm still sad. I am a poor little boy. Oh, cut us a kiss. He's from both of you. And so they basically hug the coffee guy. You know, if I see her in page, they're like, Oh, thank you guys. He brings us coffee. Thank you.

Yeah. And then we have a little brief, brief cutaway to Carl. Yeah, you look great by the way, camera. Hey, this is my little oasis in the Sack Harbor. Look at this. It's definitely stunning. Look, it's a beautiful background. Hey, look, there's a lady in sequence with her singing cap array by the beach.

God, I love Sack Harbor. So Lindsey comes out to kind of pretend to clean with Robert just to like get gossip on Danielle. She's like, how are they going? Oh, yeah. And he's like, how are you going? And he's like, well, we still haven't been speaking. It's like, I guess we had things leading up to this, you know, and then yesterday it just blew up. Do you like her sandwiches? Yes or no?

I mean, that's the消化. And he's like, yeah, I mean, look, I just think it's like when she comes to the Hamptons, my life is supposed to stop. Like, I'm just supposed to be readily's like when she comes to the Hamptons my life is supposed to stop like I'm just supposed to be readily available Which of course Lindsay is totally on the side of you must be readily available for the Hamptons, right? So she just doesn't say anything and then she's like bummer dude

She also stopped listening probably because she was just like checking out her reflection in like a clamshell It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins-c-c-c-c-c. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. -♪ Wondery show! -♪ So then, then Sierra, I mean, while is talking about what she remembers from the party, she goes, I don't even know where it was. Like, I remember cooking hot dogs, and I ate a cookie at one point, which I love that eating a cookie is remarkable enough to like pierce through the drunken haze, you know, because these girls are so skinny.

So when they have a cookie, it's like an event. And Carl comes home from running. He's like, oh, we're a little high. How you guys doing? You look great. All of you look great. I'm taking off the by the way, because I've slightly become a thing.

So now I'm just saying, you look great. You look great. The by the way is just sort of like assumed Because like everything's assumed by the way Y'all So let's see, Lindsay and Alex are talking Oh, so they all start to clean and Lindsay's like Allahangs, are you throwing away the vodka?

And he's like, yeah, because it was left out all night Just, oh you don't like vodka, you just put the cat back on He's like, that's disgusting He's like, oh Like Alex, you're just striking out Left and right, you do not the cat back on. He's like, that's disgusting. He's like, oh. Like Alex, you're just striking out. Left and right, you do not understand the culture of this household. Or anybody who throws away vodka, wasteert,

you know how many shaking children and potato this country's would kill for a martini. Yeah, but male and two the mother. Yeah, I don't think vodka's really gonna go bad. I mean, maybe there'll be some flies in the vodka, but you know, vodka already is bad. It's already pulling. It's a little poison.

It's actually poison. Alcohol is poison. You're poisoning your body. Yeah, so in the kitchen page is like, oh my god, I don't wanna cook because this kitchen is already so clean, but I'm starving. Also, I don't know how to cook.

And then Lindsay comes in and she goes, oh, Alex was trying to pour it all the liquor. He's a sociopath. Okay, just like, oh my god, who cares. I would literally eat a pizza slice off the floor if there was still one there. So me and my Amanda tells Kyle that she she's gonna have brunch with the girls and ride home with them and Kyle now is like, well, I'm sure we both have a lot of things that happen on this first horrible weekend, but we were either fighting or we were two ships that were passing in the middle of the night or, well, one was one ship and one

was a ship that just stayed out kind of in the middle of the ocean and just got drunk with mermaids and stuff and then kind of sailed around to different ports until it finally crashed into a lighthouse. That's kind of what happened. No, you got wasted and stayed out and didn't answer your phone. That's what happened. He's like, I'm sure we both regret this weekend. No. I'm sure you both though. You said though. So Amanda and Paige are just watching people clean and Amanda's like, they're doing great, right? And they're just like, great work everybody. And then they just leave.

And then Carla's like trying to clean his sunglasses. She's like, he's like breathing on them to wipe them at them and see him. And he comes and goes, we don't, we don't. Were you just going, he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. We know. We know. We know. You're OK, we know. So everyone's getting ready to leave and pay J.S. and Dre what he's doing.

And he's like, oh, she's like, what are you doing tomorrow? He's like, I'm working for the bridal company. And she goes, oh, like a Vera Wang. He's like, not at that level. I'm breaking up with you. We're officially done. David's bridal. Yeah, he's like, oh, do you like the beard by the way? And she's like, yeah, I like more scruff.

He's like, oh, yes. Well, you know, he's like, after a lot of the weekend, I felt like, I feel like we're back on track, you know? Craig is not in the building, huh? And Paige goes, sorry, got kicked in the face. Just let me know when we can start joking about it. Okay, thanks. Okay. Sorry, I got kicked in the face. Just let me know when we can start joking about it. Okay, thanks. Okay, so then everybody leaves and crowds just like,

I guess I'll just hold down the fort. Just all depressed and alone. And then he just lies on an outside whatever piece of furniture. Yeah, all sad. And so the girls drive off and go to lunch and pages like pages like I'm gonna drink all the soda they have here. Last night I ate all the pizza off my forehead 2 a.m. and then chucked a Coca-Cola. Yeah, we just actually see footage of her sitting at bed eating a

size of pizza and then she just has like a two liter bottle like a little baby. She just like. Just treating it in bed. You know how everybody has those get to know me monologues. Like, today it was Maya's, um, I love cleaning engines, you know, that, that was her thing. This is pages ultimate monologue. I mean, it should have been said in the diary room. Last night, eight, all the pizza off my floor at 2 a.m. and check the Coca-Cola. I think she might die. Welcome to my masterclass. So then, um, and then, so then now the girls are all eating and they're drinking, you know,

soda and stuff. And Amanda's like, oh, I feel like I'm coming back to life. And he goes, it's the soda. Have you ever had soda before? It's like so good. I actually loves soda. She's just like a secret soda fiend all this time Wait, can you tell me so Andrea got kicked on the face and then you were in the bed

Would you like being sleepy? Pages like well, we had a conversation we needed to have mostly about what Asperate was and whether it was better or worse than Corns are up Turns out he likes RC cola, which is like literally not even in my realm of possibilities, so it's not going to work out between us. Well, how does he feel about Crang? Well, he said I could have told him, and I said, well, I also could have told you about Big Red, but you know what?

Some juries are meant to be taken alone. So she's like, so like, I mean, with me and Craig, like, technically, we've only hung out, like, twice since Vermont. And, you know, I'm just like, I'm a little nervous to see Craig sort of like the first time I tried Dr. Pepper. I was like, is this Cola? Is this medical? I don't know what it is. You know, but he wants to come to the house. And Paige tells us that guys are uncontrollable. She's like, what if Andrea, what if Andrea and Craig decide that what they hadn't Vermont was more important than what we had. And then I get kicked, I get kicked to the curb like house clothes. Or like those cans of soda you just sort of see in New York City just rolling around. That I might have thrown out the window. So she's like, what about Carl and Sierra? What's that?

What's that about? Sierra's like, well, I mean, he was so sweet. But now that Austin is coming, I mean, is it going to be like in Vermont? Yeah, in Vermont, when he just like kind of used you while he could and then told you at the last second, he was like not going to do anything serious. Yeah, I don't know, probably be just like that actually.

Yeah, exactly. And we see a flashback of Sierra saying you're cute and awesome going You're cute. I was like, oh god these two are so awful. So then Maya's like, so who do you want to be with? And Sierra's like, I don't know I said, why are you guys juggling so many men? And Sierra's like, well, why aren't you which as well? You know, I'm open just not anyone who I saw yesterday, you know I'm gonna see the we see the clip of her trying to flirt with guys going, so how long have you guys been here? Like an hour. Uh, uh, I'm pretty sure it's not an hour because I was here an hour ago and I didn't see you guys. So time flirting.

It works every time. Can't imagine why you're not juggling those men. every time. Can't imagine why you're not juggling those men. So page is like, I am soluble agreed. I don't know. So what my notes say, I'm gonna trust my notes. I am soluble agreed. That's just her way of saying, do you guys ever switched up with Sprite once in a while? So Amanda is like, they ask Amanda how she's doing. She's like, I'm good. Kyle and I just need to have a conversation and it just wasn't the time. I mean, it's just drinking excessively. If he wasn't intoxicated, he would have picked up my calls. Yeah, and Sierra's like, I just don't want her to have to pretend everything's okay. I mean, she went hot and heavy throwing stuff around. I mean, ask any butt chick on the street. It's done. It's done. It back goes on.

So now we get something that we haven't gotten in two years because last season's Summer House was they were all quarantined together, which I kind of miss in its own sort of like claustrophobic way. But we get the, this is what they're doing during the week montage. So it's Tuesday and we just see we're in the lever boy office and we just see Carl going up to what a plant, which you know is like the thing you talked about all week off camera. So yeah, I was a bit of a wonder plant actually. It's been going pretty well. I just filled the bucket and I pour water into the plant and worked out pretty well. You know what I'm saying?

It's his Sandra Bullock 28 days moment You know where you have to keep up plant alive for a year and I never saw that dog alive for like two years or something I'm by the way lover boy office this girl's apartment of course It just has like a little lover boy. Oh was it curls up? Oh, I just saw the lover boy thing I was like oh the office guys well my whole my whole mom is like watering this little plant like Oh Oh, it's the office guys. Well, my whole mom is like watering this little plant like Oh, it looks like it's right by the way. Oh, all right. I didn't call for the days.

Yeah, they said light light light watering. So I just go on and see what's. Yeah. So Sierra's moving. So we see her apartment. And to me, it looks moved in already. Because you know, Sierra keeps her apartment looks like her bed. Yeah. So Sierra's moving. So we see her apartment. And to me, it looks moved in already because you know, Sierra keeps her apartment looks like her bed. Yeah. Yeah. So then Kyle has a zoom meeting about like being the only he's like, we're the top selling

six pack cars sparkling tea and Bravo. That's it. That's the category. And he's winning it. There's no better time to put marketing dollars to work right now And then Carl is on the zoom saying yeah, because look a lot of money has been put that's been put to work on because we have this brand That's doing really well. Hey Carl you forgot your filter went away. Oh, sorry Carly you just breathing on the webcam. Yeah, hold on You know what I could really use Oh, Carla, you just breathing on the webcam. Yeah, hold on a second. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. You know what I could really use? And a scene with Kyle and Amanda

whining about their relationship. Oh my God, here we go, thank God. Okay, so they sit together at home and Amanda's like, I mean, he's like, what are you rubbing your legs on the massageers? He's like, well you rubbing your legs on the massage? She's like, well, you don't rub my legs. So I found someone to do it for me, Kyle. All right, let's look at graphics.

This is for the orange giant. Yeah, say, look at some stuff and look as much as I pump in. And as his want to happen when one's discussing graphic design, they start getting into their relationship. And basically Kyle's being kind of passive aggressive. He's like, yeah, you're doing a good job, as long as you make our deadline lazy face

with the foot massageer. And he's like, you know, I appreciate you. You know, I do, right? You know, I do. And then he's just doing her like silent. He said to pumpkin typing computer. I hate him. He said it was to pumpkin. So she's ignoring him.

And he's like, listen, I do want to share where my head has been at. Like, you know, coming out last weekend. And she just, I mean, if a look could win. It was just like, the keys while she was typing, and I'm like, oh,. Mark. Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm.

Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm. Kyle, you left the zoom on Carl's little breathing on his webcam. Oh, so he's like, listen, I'm not making excuses. I just want you to know how the the stakes have become so high. We took out $4.2 million to fund the growth of our company. And if we have any, you know, any challenges, I'm personally on the hook for $4.2 million.

Well, us, we're on the hook for $4.2 million. Basically. Technically, it's actually more like $4.2, maybe add like another $100,000 to that, because you know, there's also that wedding contract, too, that is on the hook for things to go sour. I had another $100,000 that because there's also that wedding contract, too. That is on the hook for things to go somewhere. Yeah. And so this is the worst thing to say after you just get in trouble for being so wasted all the time that you never call your fiancee back. It's like, listen, I'm only drinking because that's how I handle stress.

No. I was like, um, this is not a great, uh, defense by the way. How do you think it's going to be when you have a house in children? That's a lot more stress. That's never ending stress, okay? No one wants to hear. Listen, I'm dealing with stress in a healthy way. I'm getting wasted all the time.

Yeah, and so she's like, look, you're allowed to feel stress, but I can't correlate with your drinking, though, like that can't be your release. And you just sort of see it, this look in his face, stress, but I can't correlate with your drinking, though, like that can't be your release. And you just sort of see it, this look in his face, like does not come cute. And so then he's like, oh, well, people went home at like 11 something and God forbid, I want to stand a little. No, it wasn't 11.

She like to be carl went home at 11 and like one other person, but everyone else came home at 2 a.m. So it was not 11. Okay, there were timestamps. Well, you know, I'm still, you know, like mostly today, I'm mostly anti-Kyle in this fight, but I think you should be able to still stay out if you want to. I mean, that's ridiculous, but he has to answer the text. Well, as a human being living in free society, yes, he can say out if he wants to, but I think if your fiance clearly has an issue with you, like, like you

deciding, I'm going to stay behind. I'm not going to like talk with it and say like, hey, I'm going to stay behind and then you're not going to answer. I don't think that's, I don't think that's great to be honest. But then again, I'm also a man, a man does should also know, like, this is what you're, this is what you're engaged to. So you have to decide whether you're gonna want this or not. Yeah, they're all wrong. Kyle. We get a good official. Kyle.

I don't wanna have another rough weekend. And she's like, well, then don't fuck up. And then he, our relationship isn't 100% my responsibility. You always pin it on me. Oh, good one. And then she's like, well, don't you understand? If, if, like, I feel like if I call up the wedding, you won't understand why. It's because we're not number one in the six backs of hard liquor sold on Bravo in regional supermarkets in Northern Manhattan. Is that

why? No, Kyle. He's like, oh my God, all you say is if you cancel the wedding if you cancel the wedding She's like but I don't want to call on the wedding and he's like well, you don't like hanging out with me So I guess I see I can see the wedding being called off And he's like don't give me a lecture give me like my partner and my fiance And by the way in the middle of this whole fight, we went to commercial. And I mean, these, okay, across promotions and times are getting too crazy. There, I don't know if you saw this, there was a commercial, because I guess

the winter Olympics are starting up in like three days. Great. And so they're starting up and there's like a figure, there's a video, I'm sorry, commercial, of a figure skater twirling round doing locks and axles and whatever, I'm sorry, a commercial, of a figure skater twirling around, doing loxies and axles and whatever, I'm like a frozen lake, and then a bunch of dinosaurs come running up to the figure skater and then they look at each other and the dinosaurs run off and it's like

the Winter Olympics starting in three days and also Jurassic Park this summer. I was like, what? I'm in the middle of a kind of man to fight. Like, nothing made sense in that moment to me. Yeah, that's not the most natural Commercial marriage right? It's like oh, yes when mankind figure skates its way into the hearts of a dinosaur

It like I swear to God it was the strangest promotion ever like I was like what I mean it worse because I didn't even know There was a Jurassic Park coming out. I'm like because I didn't even know there was a Jurassic Park coming I'm like hey, did you know this is a Jurassic Park coming out where they talk to figure skaters? Oh girl So they start blah blah blah and you got this fucking relationship with them and he's like I guess I should moderate my intake of alcohol But you know what like I just I had trouble getting my engine started so I needed some alcohol okay I had trouble getting my engine started. So I needed some alcohol. Okay, again, not a good thing to say

in a fight about having an alcohol problem. I just needed to live. I mean, what do you want for me? Okay. So she's like, oh, came and he can't help it again. And he's like, I feel like you're constantly like, wow, wow, wow, I don't know, just like, he starts crying, is that why?

He goes, but whack cry. Well, he goes, I feel like you're constantly and then he pauses and then they like put up the sound, the audio really high for the ambient noise in the apartment to show like the awkwardness. And so it sounds like a windstorm and it's like, waa shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh shhh sh shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh,'s like, all right. I just, I'm just gonna give you a general I regret everything, okay? And she's like, well, don't worry about this weekend's

sucking. We have a whole lifetime of weekends. And he's just like, oh, oh, too pumpkin. Oh, oh,

too pumpkin. So now it's Friday and Carl, it's time to go back out to the hand-pins. So Carl pulls up to the curb where Alex and Andrea are waiting. He's like, Joe, man, who's gonna get the shotgun? Huh? Andrea, you want shotgun? Oh, you look great, by the way. Look right.

And Paige is driving my ANC era and she's like, oh my god, this UPS driver is literally gonna kill me. Buh, buh Suck my back Suck my big eyes tea suck my dick So pay a drop of my beverage Arizona I see I'm never going that state ever again. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial So then a page is a page like a, new person. How was your week? And Maya's like, well, I mean, the first that I got back,

I was like, did that actually happen? Was I on a reality show last weekend? I guess that's true. I guess I was. But then my top chef, Bravo boyfriend called and said, wait a minute, I heard you were gonna be on Bravo. And I was like, oh, it did happen. So Sierra's like, so Austin's not coming after all, and I called him, and I was like, what's your deal? And he was like, I'm traveling.

I mean, I'm sad, but like, you know what? Then I see Carl, and I'm like, there's Carl. I want to see Carl make an effort. Jesus, you're acting like a guy right now. Yeah, Carl was nice, but Austin's coming, so fuck Carl. Oh, it Austin's not coming. Yeah, I wonder if Carl's gonna make an effort towards me. And then Paige is like, well, I went out last night on a date with Craig, and then we see a flashback

of the truth amount on a date. And Paige is like, I said last year, I want to base, I said I wanted to be single for a year and it would take someone to really blow me away, even considering dating them and Craig's like, well, I didn't, I mean, it wasn't that difficult. You think you blew me away? I mean, I think you're cool, but I'm way cooler. Nice water. Excuse me while I sit here with my fizzy soda. What are you? Excuse me while I sit here with my busy soda. So then the guys car, Carl's like,

oh, Korg is coming. How do you feel about that Andrea? He's like, I love a Craig, but Paige told me and Craig are seeing each other. And he's like, uh, yeah, like fucking, they're fucking each other casually. Basically, he's like, well, we'll see ya. So you say, have a chance. So then in the house, Kyle and Amanda are of course first. And so he's like, it's a beautiful day. Let's have a pool day.

Blue, blue, blue. Amanda, where are you touching me? Oh my God, you noticed my tag. So we're in a good place. We're in a good place this weekend, Kyle. The best part about this pool. It's not too pumpkin so then So people start to show up and everything Lindsey arrives and her Jeep says

We're back on and then Pages there's sick on the cotton love our house and they're just sort of like arriving in pouring rosé and like gathering and you know Wanted to go out to the pool and things like that and like gathering and you know, wanting to go out to the pool and things like that. Andrew, Andrea's laying it on really thick, picking up page and twirling her around. She's like, you're such a flirt. He's like, you are Mrs. Flirt! And she's like, this is gonna be a really weird weekend. Really, really, really weird.

She's like, two guys fighting over you. How will I do it? I love this. It's amazing. So then Lindsay, Lindsay's talking to Carl she's like oh my god Carl I met a guy last night I'm going to Mexico with him he's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa you had never met him before last night and going to Mexico with him on Tuesday. Talk on Tuesday. She's like, yo, yo, yo. Yeah, also Yoda, okay?

You only live once, but you also only die once, okay? You might wanna think about this. Exactly. So Kar was like, well, I know Lindsay pretty well and I think she wants to put on a happy face and she wants to have fun single Lindsay summer, but is she running away from these feelings or is she wanting to forget about the miscarriage? It's a Carl mystery. And he's like so how do you feel? Are you feeling cool? And she's like I mean yeah I'm going to Mexico. So then out at the pool Sierra is talking to Carl now and he's

like well like look around. I'm like dad bod right now compared to these guys who are like jacked. She goes, I don't care. Hey, Carl, what's your type? He's like, oh, I don't really know if I have a physical type anymore. As long as I can say, put your weight on me and like not break my back, you know? Oh, I don't mean that in a bad way.

I just really like saying put your weight on me. Okay. Yeah, I just like, I really like humor and wit as evidenced by when I dated one of the workers twins for two seasons. And when I dated Lindsey, I'm just humor and what is all over them? Wisdom wit kindness. Oh, Carl. So she's like, yeah, I don't think I have a physical type anymore, you know. I did Austin. So just all just breathing basically. I've lowered my standards at this point. So now they're all making dinner because of course it wouldn't be summer house if they weren't making tacos because that's what they all they did last summer was making tacos. And so weren't Ming Tacos, because that's what they all they did last summer was Ming Tacos. And so, um, so, uh, Andrea is making nachos and Carl is doing the

Takomi, and then Alex is in there next to, um, Maya, they're, like, I get there sort of like, it's like a guac station, which by the way, it's so rude because that's really Amanda's area. And so Alex is like, uh, I'm not gonna make guac, I'm just gonna smash avocados because that's the only thing I'm good at. I just looks at them and goes, so what's the point of even being here? They just say, they all clearly hate him, right? But they haven't, they're still mentally giving him a chance.

They're like, well, I don't wanna be mean, I'm only known for a week, but I guarantee in three episodes, there's gonna be a powwow between between like page and Amanda and Sierra and Maya be like what's it you with Alex he's so weird yeah so Carl gets a phone call from Robert and he's like Robert bro we're doing taco night Alex is making guac shirtless so that's that's something yeah and Robert's like cool hey could you stop breathing heavily into the phone? Thank you Yeah, sure so hey, can you and so basically Robert calls because he's gonna surprise Danielle He's gonna do like his version of like the Stravy anniversary. Oh, he's gonna do every Daniel wants everything that Lindsey has had

Before right she wants to surprise things she wants a big on camera fight with the boyfriend poor Danielle So he's going to come to the same thing. Yeah, for her. He's like, I really want a surprise. Yeah, the difference is that Danielle loves like a low tech surprise, whereas Lindsay is literally waiting for a helicopter. So, um, so they have to just distract her. That would be amazing if Robert came in on the helicopter. Like, oh, I want is you. Oh, that, and he just has the giant painting of her that's making a commission.

That would be great. Oh, yeah, so stock on I eat up and he's like, be sure to keep Danielle busy. And then we get a shot of how Danielle was being kept busy. And Lindsay's like, hey, Danielle, I forgot all my underweres and I was hoping I could borrow your underwares and Danielle's like, oh my god, look what I got. It's like kind of a little

fun thing and she's like, you want it? And Lindsay's like, oh my god, that's so cute. I mean while Robert is in there's like a pool house and Robert is setting up a very, a very very strawberry situation. There's like votives house and Robert is setting up a very, a very, very strawberry situation. There's like, votives and two pillows and really not much else. So it's like, it's like, strawberry approved. And meanwhile, Carl is like, eh, y'all, so we have a talk about.

Yeah, not sure it's prepared by Andre, you don't ever want, you don't. Yeah, so let's see here. Robert set this thing up. So Danielle's all excited and they're watching from everyone's watching from inside. And Carl's like, whoa, cutie petudies, cutie petudies.

I say stuff like that now. Yeah, Carl's a model, some of them put on like those cutie petudies. Yeah, I like quoting Rosie O'Donnell from the 90s. So then he's like throwing a mosh ball at them. He crushed ball that thing. I crushed ball. I crushed ball that thing. A push ball ball. I'm like,

Carl's time. I'm trying to drink my soda. Guys got some music here from John McDee and the McDeeLTs, right? It's good to hear like swing music. Yeah. So, um, let me just, so then Robert walks in and, uh, and someone like ruins it,

because someone goes, I forget who it was, but someone goes, Robert, I'm like, no, let Danielle see him first. Why did you ruin Danielle's surprise whoever yelled that out? So he's like, you come with me. These flowers are for you. I got our favorite foods, sour candies and pepperonis. These are not my people. But she is Danielle, she's so happy.

She's like, oh my God, it's perfect. Which is really a very funny counterpoint to Stravy getting that like fast food. He's like a got onion rings and like a chicken sandwich. And Daniel's like, I mean, Lindsay was like, what? Ew. And this guy just watched it.

The gas station and Daniel's like, oh my God, I'm gonna be him. It's true. Yeah. So then Amanda is like, can you stay back one week and surprise me? And he's like, sure, that's not a surprise, Amanda. When you have to make them buy you stuff from the gas station and set up a picnic in the backyard, it's not a surprise.

It's not romantic, you know. So how was everyone else's week haul? And Lindsay's like, oh, did you see crank this week? How's your date page? And she's like, yeah, we just went out for drinks and it keeps coming to Andrea. I sort of like trying to look sad like, oh, sad, mad, mad, over here. But he's also just like stuffing his face with food. Like he's like, as much as I want to be cute and sad right now, it's more important for me to just be like, you know, and then he's like, but that was the first day with the two of you. I'm just like, yeah, and he's going to come over and stay tonight.

And Andrea's like, yeah, it's kind of awkward. Because we were just in bed together. I'm like, oh, come on, you did not sleep together. You were like crying in her bed with frozen peas on your face. It's not the same thing. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And my ass, I was, Andrea, do you know Craig and Austin's like, yes, I'm very good friends with him. So then, so now Robert and Danielle have a scene where they're like, he's like Sarah's being crazy last weekend. She's like, I was taking crazy pills. So they're all good now. Okay, Sam, I was really concerned. crazy last weekend. She's like, I was taking crazy pills. So they're all good now. Okay. Sam was really concerned. Yeah. And Sierra makes an announcement that she's actually

going to clean today. And everyone's like, no way. And she's like, Paige, get over here and help me clean. And Paige is like, ah, no, no, thanks. So she goes upstairs and starts dancing around while she's brushing her teeth because Craig's on his way over. Yeah, and Andreas is like, oh, I ate tumacha, tumacha! And then we see headlights in the driveway because Craig is arriving and he comes and he's like, what up guys? I ate, what's up? So Craig has officially arrived. Yes, and then it's a group cheers. And Andrea is like, I can't believe I y'all hear. And Paige is like, oh my god, look at it.

It's like Vermont, but Richard, sorry, no offense. I don't remember. I don't know who she was saying no offense to, maybe. I think to Kyle and Amanda, because he's from New Hampshire. Oh no, yeah, it's because I was like his thing that he put together. Yes So then Andrea is talking to my about you know how everything's just casual and Craig's like oh hey Oh, you just see it's cutting back and forth right so you just see Craig telling page You you've got my deodorant. Can I have it?

He's like well, he's like I'm doing this new thing where I just leave my deodorant places, which is a really interesting personality trait. Good workshop, this new thing that I like to do called just like, Hansel and Greteling deodorant. Yeah, it's just the juxtaposition of him being like, it's nothing, it's casual. And he's like, can I have my deodorant back? So I totally left it your place.

Yeah. So, Andreas, like, well, you know what? I like a page a lot. And I have a lot to fun with her. But I want to see what's going to happen. And Craig is like, do you think Andre is going to be mad at me? Because I don't want him to feel awkward or anything like that. So then everyone's getting ready to go up.

And Andrea pulls Craig aside for a shot. And he's like, I want it to catch up with you So we've been texting this entire time But do you remember the one time I tried to call you and you didn't pick up and he's like It's possible. He's like yes, what I was trying to call you about the page rumors Yeah, so I didn't pick up stupid Why else do you think I didn't pick up I talked to you every day until that came out in the press Meaning of the minds these two so Andreas like

Well when I when I heard those rumors that I got a little disappointed And I like like if you would both have told me eyes and something talking to page. We might go out I literally would have said bro. I'm happy. I'm happy go for it. I move on to new pussy But you didn't so I'm in pussy lurch ah well I thought you were gonna try and get a free pillow for me and my fingers were kind of hurting but then also you know I was being kind of a whore so I didn't do the right thing and a byproduct of that is that we stop being as close because like I stopped talking to you is that we start being as close because like I stopped talking to you.

Geez. Just stop. Like took the girl and then just ghosted the guy. Yeah. And Andreas like, you know, me and Greg, we are really close in her month. And I don't want the girl to get in the middle of me and Greg. I just want my friend back. Yeah. And so then they promised to be back to before and cricks like oh my god

I miss you so much. I just didn't know how to do this part, you know, you know, that's all things But I love you. Can I have a free pillow? So then we get like a little cutaway to Lindsay in her room She She's like gonna eat this yellow track seat and Maya's trying to like wipe off some schmutz from her butt that came from the black chairs. They were sitting in and Lindsay is so alarm sick. Is it off? Is it off? Is it off? And she's like no Well if I'm going out, I'm putting on my white pants Cuz it's all cried putting on his white pants.

So I was like, oh, not in my house. This is my white pants house. All right. I knew you were very triggered by that moment, Ronnie. The white pants, it just cracks me up that that's like his thing now, you know. So then they go out clubbing and then we get the phone cam out in the club.

And Lindsay is of course, Lindsay all over this. She's like, wait a minute, I'm confused because Paige and Greg are all over each other and I'm not over here judging. I just didn't think they were that serious. I mean, we all see the Instagram gossip accounts and we all see the press.

We don't all live under rags. This is messy, dude. I still don't know why they can't say Kristin Cavalier's last name. Like I don't that's I understand like how you can't show you have to blur out artwork or certain things but you can't even say Kristin Cavalier's last name. I mean come on. I don't know. Maybe it's like she trademarked it. So every time you say your name, you have to pay or something. I don't know maybe it's like she trademarked it so every time you say your name you have to pay or something I don't know. This is like she never knows when her dry cleaning is done you know. It's like the order for is ready. She's like my god. Oh I want is to pick up my dry cleaning. Seriously. They have to do

charades at Starbucks. Just racking out the Laguna Beach opening credits. I would read off this name for this Venti eye skinny mocha, but it's in winged things. So that says something about was dating Steven. We were at venti for was dating Steven. So then Lindsay, of course, goes over and starts with page. She's like are you in Craig? I'm scoring. So I was like now we're browsing other people. I mean, there's a rumor

He's hooking up with Kristen. She's like, I'm but I saw that you I saw But I thought you already knew that because I thought I'm too more and it's like yeah, I mean I thought it was Austin hooking up not Craig and she was oh Okay, then let's go talk to Craig because I talked to Austin and I was like bro. I'm confused Is a cragger you fucking Kristen and he goes correct? And meanwhile Carl and Sierra are talking and he's like so well, what's your energy? Like are you are you gonna be having fun like you're probably be hanging out with Austin a lot right? Which is like I don't know I haven't seen him in so long

So I don't know he's like yeah, well I'll lost him. Where home or home is and he's like She's like does that make you feel uncomfortable? And she's like no, I mean you guys have like a strategic thing and like I want to respect all I want to put all Which is not back to page emerald and say I want to respect anything Yeah, well, you know, it's till Carl like it. Let's not forget. Okay. I'm not gonna be totally snowed by By all of this. Sorry. It's a word snow no pun So then pages like I just feel so stupid and let Lizzie's like, yeah, because you like him, crime or, and she's like, oh my god, now I'm crying more.

And she's like, oh! And Paige tells us, there was a rumor for months that Kristen was hooking up with Craig or Austin, and I assumed it was Austin. Oh my god, I was wrong. And when you're not exclusive, you and the other person are allowed to do whatever you want, but obviously it hurts. And like, this is not just a normal girl. Oh my god. I love her. I love her

I mean, what do you do when the guy you like sleeps with your idol? I don't know I like I'd like to subscribe her so then So then there's just like stuff going on and Craig Craig goes and finds peace like where's page and Lindsay's like I don't know I'm trying to be a good friend and she asked me is like Kristen hooking up with awesome or Craig and I was like Craig So now he gets really annoyed Because Lindsay just immediately starting to shit. Oh, also I have to say we see the end of this carolins here I seen he's like well, I'm gonna retire

So hey, I brought you a towel and she's, no, you didn't. And girl is like so used to just terrible, terrible men, like the standard of her solo. She really, I feel bad for Sierra because, you know, like, I mean, she's into Austin, which just says a lot about the sort of guys that she's probably into, but, you know, she also has daddy issues that she talked about, so that's unfortunate.

But, um, also Carl says that he's gonna, like, step away from Sierra. He's like, oh, this has love triangle written all over it. I figured I'm good. But I'm good. I'm like, you're on a TV show, sir. You need to step into that love triangle. That's what you're here. All right, so Lindsay tells Craig the thing about, you know, I told like, you're on a TV show, sir. You need to step into that love triangle. That's what you're here. All right. So Lindsay tells Craig the thing about, you know, I told her,

because I'm just trying to be a good friend. So Craig's pissed now. So he runs up the stairs. He's like, hey, Paige, what are you doing? You know what, Paige? Because Paige is like, good, good, good. And the girls are kind of consoling her. And he's like, if you let Lindsay get in your head,

you're weaker than I thought. Oh, I was trying to snap at you, but my finger still got a little hole in it. God, that was a... Damn it. Yeah, I had to wear that antiquated device for weeks. It was still hard. So me, it turns around to like start telling him off.

And he's like, yeah, you know what? I'm sick of Lindsey being all over my life. Lindsey sucks. Lindsey always sucks. So Lindsay's like, Robert Cron. I want some cookie. She's like, everyone's really trying to push carbs on each other this episode. So Paige is like, crap, crap. Now I look stupid. Okay. It's like I did the Pepsi challenge and I fell for the coke. Okay. I look so stupid right now

He's like, oh, why would you go to why would you come to me instead of going to Lindsay? Why wouldn't you tell her? Yeah, she didn't go to Lindsay Lindsay came to the pathway. Yeah, exactly. She didn't go to Lindsay even told you Oh, no, she hasn't he hasn't talked to Lindsay yet, so he doesn't know but yeah, that's true So Lindsay is like pouting to Robert on the couch and she's like, I'm just trying to have a slightly good night. He's like, tell me about it. You know, I showed up here with fucking pepperonis

and sour candies and this is what the night is now. So thanks, thanks guys. So now Craig is totally talking down to the girls. He's like, we've been having a good blast. We've been having a blast and like, you know better than this page. And Maya's like, um, excuse me, Craig, let her make her own decisions and she's strong at the opposite of week. Cause this is dumb.

Lindsay, who's the biggest loser in the world, who her and Austin have been dating for four years while dating other people like Steve. He's yelling at them, by the way. He's like yelling at all the girls. Yeah, she's a loser and she's been fucking the Austin they've been dating for years while they've been with other people You know better than this and Carl outside Sordicles Sordicles so then

Greg is like you and I are good and I really hate that they upset you and I wouldn't have come here if I known that Lindsay's stupid face Lindsay. We get in your head, it's fucking absurd, it's bullshit. And Sierra goes, um, you just said that Lindsay and Austin have been dating for four years, he goes, Yes, he's a loser! And that's why it's not here, I'm not gonna continue this. I wouldn't have come here if I'd known that fucking Lindsay's gonna get in your head. That is absurd. That bullshit. And Maya, I'm really liking Maya, by the way.

And I, because she seems like she's like the only one who I've sent. She's like, um, he just gaslit this shit out of you and that's not cool. So then Paige just runs away. She just runs and then she winds up running into Craig's room. So he comes in there and she's like, what the fuck just happened, baby? And she's like, um, well, Lindsay was like on the whole, like the whole car ride.

She was like talking about Austin and like she was like, oh, who is Kristen hooking up with like Craig or Austin? And so Paige is actually oddly enough, it sounds like she's trying to be like, oh, look at this bullshit that they're saying. And sort of expecting Craig to be like, oh, look at this bulshade that they're saying, and sort of expecting Craig to be like, yeah, that's stupid. But instead he goes, yeah, he hates it. He hates it. I was making out with her. It's like, no, Craig, she was trying to get you off the hook. Yeah, I know. You're saying like, Lindsay hates it. Like, she hates it. I was making out.

And I'm telling you, like, okay, look, I've hooked up with her before. Okay, are you getting serious? And she's like, well, now I'm at this love triangle. I didn't ask to be in as opposed to the original two guy triangle, but I did plan to be in. Like, I have the right to cast my own love triangles. That's exactly right. She's complained about love triangle when she was like, 20 minutes earlier, was like so excited to be like

the center of a love triangle. So Craig is like, well, I don't think it looks like that at all. So page goes, um, are you still fucking her? Don't. We'll have to find out. It's a summer house mystery. So that's the latest drama did our Craig and Kristen Cavalier are still talking? Of course, he's going to say no, but we'll have to wait a week to find out the answer.

Time will tell, and then of course we are going to get Austin later, so we're going to get a lot of you're an idiot. No, you don't, Craig. No, you're an idiot. No, you're goddamn dumb. Yeah, so that'll be exciting. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow with a little real housewives of Miami action. And then it's off to do live shows for New Jersey, real housewives of Orange County and Miami again in Atlanta, Nashville and Orlando could get your tickets at watchwickcrapins.com and we'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone.

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