Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Des-ecrated

Episode Date: April 9, 2021

At long last Des makes his debut on Summer House, and the whole thing is super romantic. Just kidding - it's gross! The episode is one cringey moment after the next, and we can only imagine how much worse it's going to get next week. God, we love this show.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker also the game brand podcast and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karen. What's up Ronnie? What's up, me? What's up? We made it to the end of the week. It's Summerhouse.

Summerhouse time. Love this show. We're going to recap it. But first, a few things. In case you missed the announcement yesterday, we are doing a live virtual recap of Real Housewives of New York. That's going to be on May 6th. Thursday, May 6th at 6 p.m. Eastern. Tickets for that are going on sale this Tuesday at noon on the East Coast. Be sure to get your tickets.

Don't miss out until all your friends, whenever we do these live virtual events, it's always amazing. We get lots and lots of people, everyone interacts and everyone talks and it brings everyone together and we have a blast. You'll have a blast. You never know what's going to happen. So just marker calendars, the tickets will go on sale on Tuesday.

We'll have a lot more reminders of that. So there is that. The other thing is our bonus episode this week is really fun. We had a guest on our bonus. We rarely have a guest on our bonus episodes, but we have one this week. It's none other than Miss Taylor Strecker. So the three of us, yucked up for a while talking about all sorts of fun things. So go check that out on Patreon.

And we also guested on the reality is podcast this week. So also check that podcast out. And then we're going to be on Taylor Strucker's podcast next week. So we're really all over the place. So go check out all those things and support your other podcasters and podcasts and all that good stuff. Huh, that was the big announcement. Was that fun, Ronnie?

Yeah, good job, nice work, buddy. So today here we are with some summer house. We finally get the boyfriends the boyfriends All so up this week and we get to meet Des Des Des classy classy des Who comes who comes to the house this week and uh wow

We're just gonna pretend that that whole Hannah saying um, I really thought that you liked me We were like a boyfriend and girlfriend. We're just gonna pretend all that never happened that that whole Hannah saying, I really thought that you liked me. We were like a boyfriend and girlfriend. We're just gonna pretend all that never happened. Let's just erase that and just pretend that Hannah has been dating that's the sole point. Well listen. And everyone do it.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, it definitely adds a nice wrinkle to that whole saga. But you know, I mean, listen, Luke was allowed to keep a prospect on the side, why not Hannah too? You know, why not? But because he wasn't the one crying and telling everybody that he was being let on, that's why he did also, but he did lead her on all last summer, right?

Well, that's last summer, okay. We can't just keep going back every summer the two of them are not paragons of model behavior if even if one of them is an actual model but the point is this yes des is here des is here and wow wow he's like he's like an old blockbuster video. Wow, what a difference. What a difference. So Steven is in the backyard. He's come back to win back Lindsay with a big effort. In this case, his big effort is getting a bunch of those little Bluetooth candles from Tuesday morning

and making shapes in the backyard that say, I heart you. And so Lindsay has to get ready for this. She's like, oh man, he's amazing. Well, I get ready. And then this will start running around the house, peeing. And now she's got her period because she wasn't pregnant.

So it's like the second you finally take that pregnancy test is when your period comes. It happens every time. Oh, it happens to me all the time. And Lindsay is doing, she keeps on doing this thing that you see in teen soap or party of five or something like that when there's a romantic moment. She just goes up to Steven and goes,

Hey, hey. She does it like three different times. Once when in balcony, once when she sits down with him like another time like in the kitchen like Hi, like it's nothing where people say hi, and it's supposed to be very romantic because they said it's sort of short and in a in a coy way. Hey Well, hey, the girl didn't get the taco contract for not having any charm. I'll tell you that much So then Amanda starts her episode long jealousy arc where she's like, why do you have to show up on my anniversary? It's the anniversary of the day you were proposed to.

That is a third rate anniversary. I'm sorry, this is not your special day. Anniversary is our reserve for wedding days and maybe for like the first time you met, right? But not you don't get to have an anniversary a special anniversary for the time that you were proposed to want a reality show on a boat. Yeah, so the girls are up on the balcony just judging Stevens candle art and this year's like okay girl and Hannah says, you know, the heart is really well done. So I'll give her that. Hi Marks for like a well done heart.

Stravi can do something right. And what you couldn't see in the dark was that connecting all those votives were fish sticks. It was just so charming. So then Lindsey's like, God damn it, I'm on my period and shit. And then we just see Carl go directly into the bathroom. And for some reason, we cut back to Carl taking a shower

so many times. And it never really paid off. I don't really understand what the game plan was, but you know. I actually rerounded to see if we were gonna hear like a pplp. Pplp. You know, cause they're haki, yeah. I look great by the way.

Oh, my shoulders. Because it was so weird that they kept cutting back to it. But I guess the point was, is that he was missing all of the Steve and drama. Yeah. So Kyle's like, here's what happens. She called up and I was like, um, you know what? No, sorry, Steve and called up and I was like, bro, you know what? I think in person is going to go a long way. I mean, this is Lindsay we're talking about.

Okay. Why get hung up on when you can get flat? Okay, come to the house, come to the house, man. So Lindsay, finally, after she has done all that she needs to do, she goes out to the backyard and she sits down and is driving and goes, hi. And he gives her the flowers, he goes, well, I figured I'd bring them today.

And they kind of stand close to each other and he's like trying to go for a kiss, but he's like also being wary. So they just are standing very close and Kyle is like, well, I hope that this grand gesture lives up to the Lindsay Hubbous standards. I'm like, well, I don't see a helicopter. I don't see a crystal chariot. And I don't see Yani playing on a keyboard nearby,

so I would say no, it will not live up to it. Yeah, he was like, I want to reenact our favorite movie, and you know what? I just don't think there were battery candles in say anything. So yeah, and then the romance goes, how did you get here? And he goes, uh, I ubered like it was like a big plan. It's been in the works for a little bit. What do you think? I mean battery canvels so It's pretty huge how much time does it take to order an uber? Like I just question the amount like his time and effort like like I think he's just not official with this time It's like yeah, this was in the first time to download Uber, so that was on Monday.

And then I had to like, enter in my credit cards, that was Tuesday. And then I had to, you know, find my phone that was Wednesday through, following Tuesday. Then I had to buy both of this. But I geo-tacked the entire experience and put it in this pie chart for you. So at least you can follow along.

And she's like, I'm in Chicago! How long have you been here? and she's like I'm in He's like well, I didn't know you were at dinner so hours you've been here for hours. Oh my god He's been here for hours you guys how are you feeling? How are you? How is your Uber ride? Well, it was actually you before also took a really long time. You just like it were pool and not So it took a really long time. You just like, it was a pool and not a pool. That's not quite a gesture. Well, I've been really nervous and scared because like, we left off cutting ties and I'm just like, so scared of losing you. Like, I want to see if you'll be my girlfriend again.

And she's like, oh, my down, I was a sweet. And I don't have an answer right at the moment. If your goal is to press reset, then maybe we can start with a date. Yeah, and the music has been like cheerful and like, wow, the magic, like the undeniable chemistry. And then when she says, I don't have an answer, the music's like, just like comes to a stop. He's like, so what does dating look like? I mean, should I have to like, Uber home and then Uber back and then like Uber home?

This is gonna take me a while. Is there a table I can sit out to plan these Uber's out? This is gonna be, this is a little out of planning. You know, she's probably like, yes, that's what I would like, but then it's like wait a month camera. I can't be totally unreasonable. And she's like, no, no, no, you can stay. And we'll just have to see what happens. Finger banging. You know, this guy has to prove himself before I take him back. And it's been three, two, one, done nothing.

But he's proven, OK, let's bang. I need loose to be proven. And then he's going to be come since then. I'm like, what do you want him to do? Like jump out from corners to surprise you. You know, it's like you're never gonna have a moment of rest because he's gonna be trying to surprise you all the time. Like, thank you for breakfast.

Oh my God, why am I choking? I put some drain on in there, just kidding. I got ya. Got ya. Are you surprised? So Sierra is just watching and she's like, I just feel like a one time gesture doesn't, you know, make everything all right

and cause like just bask in the moment. I mean, she was so happy. Look, look at her. She's literally clawing his arm off. Have you ever seen her happier than when she's maiming her boyfriend? Am I right? Yeah, cause now they're doing the performative make out,

you know, because I know that the whole house is watching them. Yeah. So Sierra's like, yeah, that one time wouldn't work. And Paige is like, I'm like a guy. So Luke is saying, then we get Luke's, I like how it just cuts back to everybody for their reaction. So we get Luke's take. And he's like, you know, consistency, that's going to be the thing here. You know, coming around the circle there with his thing here. You know, all coming around the circle there with this little stick in his hand,

even at the butt. Can you do it the same way every time? That's my question. Yeah, he goes, and you know, in the real world, flowers every day is gonna get expensive. Anyone catch that? Oh man, it really killed when I did, when I did my standup at Showtime,

at the Minnesota Pollo. Who was great? Let me tell you about that, man. So Hannah's on the phone with Des. And she's like, oh, I'm gonna show you my boob. Oh yeah, my boob. She starts doing those weird boob dance around where she's showing him her boob.

I don't know what was sadder. This thing happening on her FaceTime or the wall art in that room. Just it was a big wide shot and I just really took in some strange macrame and then just like a random hanging poster of like a vista. It's like this room is so depressing. I feel like we have not harped on how depressing this room is.

This clearly converted gym space that's been turned into this very, very sad room. So Hannah gets, she just tells us the story real fast so we don't try and put any dots together, right? We don't try and connect any dots. She's like, well, earlier this summer, I got a DM from Jess and we hung out and it was fun. So I kept them on the back burner

to see what would happen with Luke, but I've really been into this the whole time. So yeah. It's like, well, I'm nicely done. Let's see how many people buy that one, okay? I can't wait. I've been waiting for this episode. I buy it.

Like in my mind, here's how I see how it played out. So Luke was after her all summer, all last summer. She had no idea that Luke was also going after Sierra. She's got this hot male model. She tried to hold out and then she's like, fuck it, I want to go with a hot male model. And then it does come along and she's like, oh, this guy's pretty cool, but then she knows she's gonna go back on TV and we, you know, we always hate it, right?

When people go back on to a reality show and they've got attachments and you're like, oh, it's so annoying, it's like page and parody, like, we don't want to see that. And she's thinking, you know what, I'm going to have, I've got this male model who's into me and yeah, this desk guy is cool, but you know what, I kind of want to fuck around, it's my right to fuck around. She gets in the house and then she realizes he doesn't want to fuck around with her anymore and she potentially botched it up with this guy that she likes.

So she's gonna cry. She knows she fucked up, she fucked up big time. And but luckily, Des is horny and so she's able to get with Des anyway. And so that was my take on it. Yeah, again, if she didn't do the whole like crying and getting everybody to be against Luke and then saying, yeah, Luke's just into me.

You know, Luke just really needs to stop because he's obviously totally into me the whole time then I think that your story would play a little bit better, but I don't think it's just like what happened last summer and then leading up to this summer. The song's saying. It's like what actually happened in the house And what actually happened in the house was her boo-hooing and saying that Luke totally let her on and thinking that they were together And he's like no, we were just friends this whole time I told you we've just been friends this whole time. I'm saying oh

You came in my mouth. That was that being just friends. Well, but that's true And then you know he made this whole thing about how I've I was not being just friends. Well, but that's true to me. And then, you know, he made this whole thing about how, I've told you we were just friends, you acted like we were just friends. I'm pretty sure you were dating people. And she's like, no, we weren't just friends. And you know, we weren't just friends. And this whole thing, and then telling everybody

that he's basically, you know, crushed her and done all this stuff. And now he won't even let her go. And he's flirting with her all the time and making this big, huge thing when the truth was, they were just friends. She was dating somebody else, he was dating somebody else, and then she came into the house and made it this. Yeah, I mean, I think that she definitely went off

the deep end about Luke, but I also feel like Luke kind of messed with her mind as well. I just don't think it says, I just, I guess when everyone's like, I see that. I mean, I've said that before too, I see that too before too. I just think that everyone's like oh like she was being duplicated with des I guess that's more the argument that I mean I don't think she was being duplicated is about des I think that she just I don't care about that's all I'm saying is like I don't think it's you know I don't even have

the brain capacity to really even recall the parts of what happened earlier this season between Hannah and Luke. But in terms of everyone being like, oh, see, she was lying all the time. I'm like, no, she just, she was like, I mean, wouldn't you, wouldn't you hold out for Luke over Des too? I mean, come on. I mean, let's really look at this. Like you've got Des.

But it's not about that it's not about holding out for him. It's about telling everybody that Luke was leading her on to think that she was in a relationship with Luke. Well, that's the point. It's not like what I it's not what I rather bang Luke than des of course everybody would rather bang Luke than des I mean that's like that's not a fair comparison. The point is Hannah's actions and how she led everybody to believe this was when it was obviously not the truth and now she's acting like this has been it all along. She's like, oh yeah, well, I was seeing him

and that's just like, you know, it's like, put it out there and like all the other stuff didn't happen. All the other stuff did happen, man, and it was on camera. I don't know, it's all very confusing. And I'm sure I've enraged 99% of the listeners right now, so I don't want to trigger them anymore. So we'll just move on, because I don't actually, I'm not invested enough in this thing, but I- It's summer house.

I mean, it's summer house. It's summer house. It's summer house. We've already given this more brain than it deserves. Yeah, like I feel like I hear everything you're saying and I don't disagree with it, but I also don't disagree with what I'm saying also. So the good thing is we don't have to agree. We really don't because again, it's a house, but I'm really looking forward to a lot of

tweets and I'm gonna receive because you know internet So anyway, so Dan is on the phone with Robert. What's what am I reading here? Oh, Dan yell Dan yell is on the phone with Robert. She calls up her her her man Robert and he's like Yeah, I've been napping. And then we go to Carl's shower. She's like, what is this? Your fifth nap for the day. And he's like, oh, funny. Sorry, we can't all be in social house. Yeah, they have a real, just a sparkling relationship. And so Carl is still showering. And now, he, um, I don't know if I'm allowed to kiss you or not. Like, mate, I'll just hold your hand.

Mm, the hug, maybe. Like, it's nice to hug you. I like the hug, because, when I didn't go to all this effort to not get a kiss, I'm like, you know what, Shobby, you don't, you don't just, you're not entitled to a kiss because you shut up with some motives and took an Uber someplace.

Okay, it's not how it works. I risked lowering my Uber rating for this. Okay, you're going to kiss me. So, Carl finally gets out of the shower and sees him kissing and he's like, oh, what the fuck? So, Carl is talking to Kyle. He's like, did you see what's outside? I thought it was a ghost.

A little box-sitting ghost. I mean, I'm confused, but whatever. Like, Lindsay's my number one. But, like, if they're not getting along, it's like really stressful and I'm in empath now. So I can't be around fighting because it's like triggering. Okay, even though I start most of the fights in the South. Um, but you know what?

It's triggering and this roller coaster, when did you become an empath? Just stop with this. Yeah, I think Carl has gone through some horrific things that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but he also has a history of playing this role of like, I'm just a gentle host that needs to be treated carefully. That's just what I want. I want to take a slow. I want to take a slow.

He starts off, every huge fight has been a Carl fight. If you really think about it, except for this season when it was like Kyle versus Hannah that one time It's usually carol that starts all the big fights and now it's like oh, I just I can't be around it It's like it triggers me. Oh, the people. I just feel everything. Okay Quiet you jocos. You're such a jocos Ronnie. I Don't like you Oh, I'm triggered. So now, Lynn, did you see that Luke came out with shirts that say I don't like you?

I did not see that. He said, guys, you guys, you've been asking me for him. So here they are. Sweat shirts that say I don't like you. Okay. So then Lindsay and Shravya are outside and, you know, they're just... I think they're now kissing, right? Now they're officially kissing.

And Luke is, I guess, watching and he's explaining his role in this setup and he's like, you know, I did know, I knew that he was coming, but like, I didn't know the details. And like, he knew that like, if I I knew I'd probably give him a hug first Okay, speaking of which Stravy give me a hug give me a hug because I guess strawberries upstairs now So they're like going in for a hug with Stravy and he's like, you know, I'm just so happy. He's back I had so much fun with him and then we see a montage of them just standing outside We get like they're illustrious friendship montage. It's like, look, this is like starts getting huts guys and they're like,

so you're mom good. Yeah. Yours good. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't been drinking that much. Me neither. I guess I'm going to go into work.

I wait for all. Bye. Bye now. Oh, such good times. Such good times. They should make a movie of our lives. Commissions. Here comes one right now.

Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly

innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen, add free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.

So then we go to page on the phone with Perry. Now Perry is someone who really triggers me. You know, that's where my anger, that's for some reason Perry is my, he is my Hannah for this season. Like, he's the one who annoys me every single time. So, pages on the phone with Perry, and he's like, are you okay?

And that's all he says, but I'm like, you know, Perry, don't, don't, don't, Perry. Cause I know you're not sincerely asking if she's okay. You're gonna turn into something like that. Yeah, but he's saying that because she's calling him like huddled up in bed in the semi-dark, like with her hands on her forehead, like, oh my God, I'm so stressed.

So he's like, are you okay? She's like, ah. So then Amanda's cuddling with Kyle, and she's like, you know what? I don't think that she would love if you did a grand gesture on her anniversary. And she tells us. I mean, we were supposed to get married like soon.

And this is fine. This one's for you, Lindsay. I mean, you totally deserve to take this mic away from me. You didn't have this night in the first place, Amanda. I don't think even realize it was an anniversary until Kyle pulled out flowers at Hampton, social, Joulon, whatever. It's so ridiculous.

So then we go back to Perry, who's still a page, who's huddled up, and she's like, I feel like my life is falling apart. I'm just like exhausted emotionally. It's like, because of me. No? Okay, so you still love me? Yeah. Then what's falling apart?

Walk me through it. I can't. And he's like, such a talker at her, it just drives me absolutely nuts. Really? I like Perry. My the only person who likes Perry, I think he's so nice. Listen, he's older and he's like, go to Summer House, have a fun time. I'm not going to go make you look like an idiot. Go have fun.

I'm not going to show up there and be like the old guy at the summer house being some weirdo. I have a real job. Go have fun. He doesn't care about being like the old guy in the weirdo. He's already dating Paige. He already is the old guy. But he reminds me of like every obnoxious bro who works in finance and just like, you know, spent like a good amount of their lives on cocaine.

I just like talking fast at you and like giving you recommendations about steak houses that you didn't ask for. Like that's what that's what he really reminds me of. And I just see that's like what I'm searching for. So guess you're not going to like my boyfriend to five or half. I'm like, you have coke and you're in finance. Perfect. Do you know a good steakhouse?

I love a potato. Yeah. Oh, did you hear that Scott Reuben throws big potatoes at people? Did you read that article? I don't know, but that's amazing. I had to tell you that because there's an article the Hollywood reporter about Scott Reuben, the worst temper in Hollywood. And like at one time, he threw a big potato at an assistant. and assistant. I was like, a fronting after that. So anyway, speaking of the Scott Rudin of Summer House, Lindsay, she's like, she's talking to Steven some more and he's like, I guess are they in bad? I think they're in bad and she's like, oh, I do want?

And he goes, why do you think I'm here? So sex. And he does her bra. They get it on. So then back to him at a Kyle a man in Kyle she's like I am emotional and I'm really getting emotional Kyle Like I feel like I need a good cry Like you want to cry on me? For some reason this is cross-cutting between like Stravy banging Lindsay like a little rabbit going feels good, doesn't it? Stravy, are you fucking me on top of an apple grate and a pillow right now?

Yeah. My heart's racing. I don't want to do many of this rather than my DNA's off. So in the morning Kyle is that roommate to wakes up and does the loudest thing he can possibly do. I'm like, are you making coffee with a and does the loudest thing he can possibly do? I'm like, are you making coffee with a leaf blower? How are you making this coffee? I hate that.

That's like, I cannot stand someone who's like, well, I'm awake. You guys should be awake too. Like, you guys should all be at my schedule too. Like, it's like what I was talking about a few weeks ago, but like, just because he decided it's time for him to clean, that everyone else has to clean, is very triggering for. The men are really making me react to things this episode.

Well, you know what? I think you need, I think you need some more. Daydreamin' I'll chievin' Daydreamin' I'll chievin' I believe the lyrics were they say I'm daydreamin'

but you better stop believing that one day I'll be achieving. There you go. So Paige is saying that, Dez is coming tonight, so she's cleaning and she's like, I'm like messy but clean and Hannah's like dirty, so I need the clean. And then we just see Carl go up to Carl go, what's up dude? I like one to sleep at 10, and then woke up at one and then it was up toss like tossing and drawing before Yeah, I'm in a path. That's why I feel it

So Hannah is trying on clothes for a page and she's like do you prove it this outfit? What does this outfit say about me? That it doesn't fit first of all okay It's like, it's like some denim ruffle thing and like some denim shorts and she's like, it says cute, flirty, innocent and, um, Maximista, okay, it's perfect. Is your boyfriend named Marshall by any chance? So, um, so yeah, I was like really excited and pages like I feel like I already Love him. I there's just something about him. I just can already tell he's gonna be Charming won't say inappropriate things and will treat this house with a respected service Yeah, my armpits are sweating. I wish Perry was coming too. You should tell him to calm

Just come to the pool for a day. It's like um my dream scenario is that he comes to my and then we all have dinner because we'll all be couples And then all the couples will be like, oh my god, you're a couple. We're a couple, too What do you guys like to do there? There's a couple things and then you'll say like, oh, I like bread and who likes bread I'll be oh my god bread squares and then peri will be like, oh my god bread squares So I'll be like, thank you swears. Oh my god, that would be my dream But I don't think it's gonna happen. My other dream is if I could find this look for about $10 less So then Hannah is like, well, how long are you willing to be with a guy who doesn't even want to hang out with your friends? And she was like, and so then page tells us this is the second summer in a row without my boyfriend as the second summer

That he's made me feel bad about not hanging out with him And he's like putting me in a situation where I have to pick and if if he didn't want to come and spend the time of the house, I get that. But don't make me feel guilty for me wanting to do it. And there it is. He's so she cried. And there it is summed up for me right there. He guilt. Sir. For doing her job, every single time. Don't you hear? Every interaction is like, he is, it's like a lace with passive aggression from him every single one for the past two years I don't know. I don't see it. I just seem being like hey babe. What's up? Just like how dare he how dare you it?

So she's like, um, I mean if he really love me he'd figure it out like he's the guy and And it's like well like he does love you But like I don't know if it's like what you want, because the love of your life should feel like happy. Okay? I mean, you were outfits that are like a bottom and a top, and they didn't come as a pair. Thank you, Emma. That's all I'm trying to say. So Hannah's like, he's going to continue doing what he's doing unless you tell him, and

you have to call him out. You're hurting for him not to hurt. And so, you know, Paige just wants, Paige just wants to be in the summer house and doesn't want to feel bad about it from her boyfriend. Yeah. And she pulls a beyond today. She's like, I choose me. Like you go, Bay. So Hannah, Hannah's like, go for it.

Get on your game face. You know, what's your game change because your game faces on you're like Stagnate right now. So get off your eyes. You ladies you little idiots. Be in which you're being your dad right now. Oh, sorry Let's begin with your game face is dirty. So Carl Carl's like on the phone with someone he's stressed out and then Luke is gonna He's gonna get someone some cologne and then then Danielle's mom facetimes Aida, and she's like,

Mom, guess what? Robert's coming tomorrow. Oh, I'm sorry, Danielle. This was a, this was a butt dial. I didn't mean to actually call you, but don't you wanna hear about my girlfriend? Ah, okay, I've got about five minutes before I watch that. Biography channel story about Phil Donahue.

Okay, go on. You got five minutes. Well, he's gonna come sue me. I love Marlowe Thomas too. Okay, love you honey. Doctor, you soon. The filmography's on. Bye.

So then with Lindsey, when she goes, she's brushing her teeth and she goes to see, then she's like, um, and it was so weird, seeing two toothbrushes in the bathroom. He's been gone for like three days. Yeah, okay, in summer house time. No, but he just never brushed his teeth before.

So he's changing. So then Stravius now back at his desk, and he has a proper chair. So we really see this relationship as moving in the right direction, like a real deal chair. And she was saying how like, you know, she was going back and forth about what to do. And it was just like really hard to figure out what to do without seeing him in person. And, and all that. And he's like, yeah, because you know, he's full of so much personality. And then she's

like, you know, I'm enjoying my day right now, by the way, he goes, yeah. Yeah, okay. Well, I just so you know, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative, but how would you feel if it were positive? And he's like, well, it's a joint decision, and if you didn't want to be with me and have my kid, I'd have to support that decision, but it would be cool to have a kid with you,

especially because I've been working on some concepts for a high chair. I don't know. It's made out of cardboard. It's a box really. It's just a box. And she's like, well, you never know what life decision will smack you in the face with. And he's like, yeah, but like it would be like nice to have like kids. Oh my God. Do like kids. Well, like not tomorrow. So today, my kids today, oh my god, we're having kids today. It could have happened last night. Oh god, scary.

So now here comes Dez. At long last, and so he walks up to the front door and he does this super performative knock, like he knows he's on TV, like he knocks like no human knocks normally. He puts both his hands up and he does like a double, like clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, like as if he's like banging a giant drum on some stage.

I'm like, you know what? Knock like a normal person, please. Like I don't want this whole I'm on TV knock. This is not what I'm here for. So everybody is kind of curious, right? So Hannah's, you know, doing like the bachelor hug, I'm sure like the jump up and like the, the, the, the quad, the koa bear hug or whatever and

Hey, just like oh my god. I feel so weird watching you guys I wish Perry could be here to feel weird watching you guys with me but whatever and Seer is like wow you're like way shorter on FaceTime. He's like hey girls He's like hey, let's see how what how are you and then and then she's like um Do you want something to drink? He's like, yeah, I'd love some water, actually. You can get me some water, huh? Do I have to get me some water? I'm not sure.

Um, this is a kitchen. I do a lot of work here. I don't get credit where credit is to. He's like, this is, this looks like nothing like what I expected, eh? Like, look, look, look, what's that bathroom? Lindsay's just looking at him and laughing. Just like, oh my God, who is this person? In the mail.

Everyone's reaction to him is hilarious because they're all just kind of standing back watching him. It's like, it does walks through the wild, you know? They're just all like standing behind something kind of watching him. Like Lindsey standing behind the table, kind of going through mail Just like trying not to crack up and

Sierra's like whoa, I mean he is better looking in person and page goes yeah and taller Yeah, so Hannah and Des run to the bathroom to fuck yeah, like that's fuck so they remember the bathroom You're so fucking awesome. You're so fucking awesome. You're so awesome. Oh man. Oh my god, you're so handsome. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh It's like one minute later and you just hear him go this is a dirty towel So we're already kind of like I'm I'm in a deep state of cringe at this point and it just gets worse from here So then I'm skewed yeah, pretty skewed cringe like skeven skeven skee skielberg so Steven's. Scott. Steven's skillsberg. Steven's skillsberg. So, so now, Des finally meets Luke and looks like, oh, how you doing, brother?

Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you and Des is like, oh, yeah, I've heard a lot about you too. You came as avatars, you know, you know, you know, also, wow. Yeah, cuz Luke is like shirtless and all hot. And he's like, yeah, the kid came his advertise, and Luke goes, well, you know, you're tall. So, you know, you've got that. Mm.

Yeah. You're tall. I mean, you're not a model or anything, you know. But so far, I like you. Okay, let's not try to add the don't in there, okay? So then Kyle's like, so what is, is this the older version of me? And goes, oh my God, Hannah wanted to bang me

this whole time so she's banging my dad. Yeah, which is funny because there are only about three years apart in age, but yeah, the point still remains. And so does, even though he seems to have a boss in accent lives in West Hampton, and I'm like, yeah, my family's owned a house there since 1990 and then which it's not like I mean that's cool but it's not like 1890 he sort of announces it as if it's like a pillar of the community oh yeah you

know that house that was built at the time when that song by E.M.F. was really big yeah you know when Hannah was born and she like oh knock on a lie It took a lot for dads to come here knowing the fights I've had with these guys and then we see clips of Hannah Being like he's mean to me that guy's like absolutely viled at me and she tells us but I think like him having a present Shows me he cares, you know, and it's like nice to feel like I have a guy on my team He's a comedian and he gets to be on TV I mean What about that knock on the door was not like hello America? My name is Daz and I'm your comedian here for some house that

So now page is really feeling it because everybody is a couple now in the house except really for Luke and Carl So and Sierra but Luke but Carl and Sierra are like no kind of flirting. Yeah, yeah And Luke like can literally make like a tree would make out with Luke So she's just like lonely so she calls Perry and she's like I'm wearing your favorite dress right now And he goes what's the special occasion? She goes. Um, we're cooking dinner for our boyfriends Lobster pasta and so then he goes, you never make that for me. Explain that one, Ronnie. Explain that one.

I think it's like being cute. It's like you never make that for me. It's like, do you even deserve that? He's like, oh, so basically it's like a couple's retreat over there. Well, I don't want to interfere with you and your friends. I mean, are you upset that I'm not there? We just like, I'm so ready to stop it. Stop it, Ronnie. You're making him sound so cute and is it like, are you upset that I'm not there? Stop it, Ronny. You were making

him sound so cute and is it like, are you upset that I'm not there? He was like, oh, so you upset I'm not there. That was the tone. It was like Bethany Frankl tone. No, because he's like, are you upset that I'm not there? Because it's like you surprised that she's upset that he's not there as well. My my my read on Perry was that he was trying to make her defensive and like it's a full of it. No, you're very. Perry, she's never even said anything like that. Don't you think Paige would call that out if she, if Perry was like, daddy issues, daddy issues, but doesn't she like her dad? Yeah, but daddy issues. She daddy is someone with daddy issues.

And if you're like looking for that acceptance or whatever, you know, I mean, I think that you're I mean, I guess she makes it sound like she is really nice to her, but that she is just bored with him. That's what she's made it sound like on the show. I mean, if she had ever said something like, you know, he's like really rude to me and I don't like the way he talks to me, but I still love him. I mean, if it was something like that, I would, but she had ever said something like, you know, he's like really rude to me, I'm not like the way he talks to me, but I still love him. I mean, if it was something like that, I would,

but she's really said nothing except this guy's like, really great to her and she really likes him, but she just gets kind of bored because he's old and she doesn't want to sit around the house all the time. Yeah, well, I think that she's bored because he has like this idea of like this, I think he calls all the shots and he is like, this is how it is and

Then she's bored because she can't really be herself. She can't be the page that we know and love and I'm gonna stand I'm standing on this one. I'm this is this is it. This is the line of the San Ronnie the podcast is over 10 years I'm out of here So Perry's like well, you know, I got to work. You know, I got a lot of work and stuff going on. I'm saying, I know. And she tells us Lindsay's ex boyfriend, who she dumped, showed up and decorated the backyard after getting dumped.

Did I mention that he got dumped? And my man can't even come for a drink. Well, that's unreasonable. Okay, I'll give you that one. Wait, wait a second, I'll cover that one. Yeah, I's unreasonable. Okay. I'll give you that one I'm gonna be that one Oh He could come for a drink. You can't just come for a drink to the ham to go to New York City to the ham is he staying in the Hamptons? I don't know if he's staying in the Hamptons

I'm glad the point is very strong But if he's a New York City, it's a little unreasonable to be like why can't he come over for a drink? Well, he could like make the effort York City, it's a little unreasonable to be like, why can't he come over for a drink? Well, he could like make the effort one time if she wants, if she wants to, I've been under the impression the whole time that he's like, I don't wanna be on TV and she's like, yeah, but I wanna do the show. He's like, go do it, have fun.

And she does it. And that's like cool. So, you know, he's like, okay, you do your thing, I'll do my thing. So for her to be like, hey, you hey, would you maybe just come for a drink? Like he could at least do that if he's not going to be on the show. Yeah, I just think that I think I get the sense that he calls all the shots and that if she doesn't, like, he's allowed her to go on the show.

But remember, last season, he killed it at the entire time. She actually skipped at least one weekend, if not two be with him because he like if if she didn't they were gonna break up. So I don't know. I think that he is I think he is um I don't like him. I do not like Perry. Okay. I know that. I know that. I know that. Why are we talking so much about characters? Like not even that episode. Yeah. But you know, we got to speak what we got to speak our hearts. We got to speak our hearts. Okay. No. So then we go to the kitchen and she facetimes her mom to get help cooking and Sierra is like hi mom. Oh my god. You're so cute like you've got such a face on for a Thursday night Yeah, and

page is like alright mom. This is like how to prostitue I got so it's the lobster meat chunk. Is it cooked already? She's like, I don't know. Is this cooked? Is it cooked? Awesome to pick mom. Yeah, I don't know. So then Hannah meanwhile is making some sort of pepperoni pizza crescent roll thing with like Pillsbury dough things and does like oh wow did you buy them and she's like no I'm making them. He's like oh so fun Oh, my how could you tell you? I'm just, uh, Des is really triggering me. I'm like, how does he not see that this is clearly Pillsbury?

Like, do you think Hannah was out there making a rough puff? Like in between you guys fucking? So Steven and Luke have fun of their, um, their, um, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover conversations. Luke is like, you know, she's got a dude and I'm so glad and I just hope we find a common energy and chill. What do you have to say about it? And she's even like, yeah. Great thing guys. Sorry, I have a trap. Got so much fun with him. So now Carl me's dead and I'm too old for this shit

One day away from retiring so Oh Hey, I just you know I'm an ally here if you need me Oh, cuz sometimes these ladies get a little you know, but well into the house my car You're the one who dressed up like a nommish person and like charged at Luke. So don't talk about the ladies getting a little dot dot. If you're in trouble, I'll know because I'm an empath. So I'll just come running to your side. Don't worry about it, bro. You need a low stress environment for me, please. Thanks. So everybody's getting ready for dinner and Kyle and Amanda are matching. And he's like, whoa, just coincidence. It's like, um, you saw me get dressed, dressed. It's the one day anniversary of when I chose this outfit,

Kyle, and Paige is doing my favorite thing, which is that she is taking on the role of a imaginary server, like she's doing her waitress roleplay game. You know, she's like, and now here we have some pasta, please enjoy. Okay, this compliments of the house. And Hannah's like, yeah, and if you have dairy allergies, you're going to shit yourself. All right. Who says this is like the Gucci of pasta? Does that desert cry out? I think it's a Kyle. It has a Kyle vibe to it. And then he eats Hannah's croissant thing and he's like, oh well, I'm enjoying this French Italian delicacy and then Lindsay goes, Hannah, are you French? And she says mail in cargo of oh you should have said the way which is yes

Like everything this is why I love summer house like this is exactly why I love everything about this This is why I love summer house like this is exactly why I love everything about this show So then Daniel's like update everybody Roberts coming so I took tomorrow off and next week and let's see like great Okay, so dad said you met everyone officially Oh, why is the water job talking? Okay He's like yeah, you know, everyone except Luke is a different person. Yeah, because now Luke is wearing a dark, he's wearing dark clothes. So, oh yeah. So he says everyone except Luke now is a different person. Yeah, and Kyle goes, yeah, that's lumberjack Luke. You met, you met lumberjack Luke. This is hipster Luke. And I was like yeah, I was working.

I didn't have a shirt on and Dez goes, oh you're a master of disguise huh? Huh huh. You say I want to talk about Robert coming anyone? Did I hear a voice? Did someone leave that filled on here special on? So old Kyle, do you like to play tennis? He's like, nah, nah, nah, no, I don't do that and he's like so how'd you meet?

Well Hannah here just is like well, I followed it for a while and she was chilling in shelter island I saw so I was like yo, I'm here in shelter island too, you know, I should stick my penis inside you So you know, that's what we did and he's, it's like, uh, so you've just been having phone calls for the past six weeks or yeah, yeah. You know, like the first thing we didn't kiss, then the second thing we fucked. And Luke goes, really? He's like trying to like, like contain his like disgust and surprises. Really, really. But he can't because he's wearing really thick glasses, which like really magnify his eyes. So you really see him. You really see how pissed he is. And it's so funny. I don't like. I won't finish. I won't say it. I don't like you.

Oh my god. Oh, he's everyone be careful. Lucas raging again. Yeah. So he tells us, oh he's everyone be careful Lucas raging again Yeah, so he tells us oh well it's all coming together now. I guess I was just leading Hannah on huh? Well at least that's what she said So then does like well perhaps it took you by surprise. I mean I had to be doggy, you know, it's a way of mask and all I'm saying haha and everyone's like You Just met you and breath the table and he's like, uh, you know, we're like, we just met you and we're at the table. And he's just like, shoving his face full of some sort of like ice cream sundae

or whatever and I'm just like, there's a collective grown across America. It was like, we all get a whole. The only shock here is that he's not in a bowling shirt, honestly. So Hannah's like, yeah, you know, I was just like so desperate. Well, Luke was a Minnesota fucking whoever. And I was like, take me, take me. And Luke just looks so pissed off.

And he was good dinner Hannah. Thanks. Wow, pretty good for a non-hat dish. No, what I'm saying. Sorry, that was so mean. It was so mean. So now it's after we're at the doing dishes. So Carl and Sierra are doing dishes dishes so Carl is still doing his

I'm a good boy act and he's like whoa almost there Sierra Misery needs company. I'm just Carl your friendly dish door with you He's like I find doing dishes to be like therapeutic Like I had a weird 48 hours. I mean, Steven came back and you know, other stuff happened and I just like, absorb everyone's stress. You know what I mean? And serious like, yeah, I really feel for Carl

because like I deal with a lot of loss in the trauma unit and I just want him to know that like we're here for him. And so she's like, thanks for helping Carl. He's like, yeah, you know what, I knew that you were thankful I felt it. I felt it. We way, that, thanks for helping Carl. He's like, yeah, you know what, I knew that you were thankful. I felt that. I felt it. We were, that's front for no, no.

So then. So now page is, page now has to sleep in her closet. We're shes all her clothes. And then Luke has made a fire. And now outside the bros are all just like talking about des. And Luke is like, you know, it's hard for me to have an opinion on des when I haven't had a conversation with him, but based on the little bit of talk that we've had, he kind of rubs me the wrong way. It's sort of like, you know, if you see a coyote walking along

the street and it's wearing a suit and tie and I'm like, why are you wearing that coyote? He kind of rubs me the wrong way. Oh, I should make them into a song, shouldn't I? Kayaoji, Sutantai, having me asking, what? No, still doesn't work. Oh. And I'm really trying to fit wee wee into there somehow. I don't know, I was inspired somehow. And I know everybody's starting to know what Danielle's doing. So we cut to Danielle and she's like,

she's got a squeaky door. She's like, I heard it. And there's like a moth in her room and she's like, get out. Get out. So then we cut back to the guys. And Luke is like, yeah, you know what they were clearly

seeing each other praying prior to this, but you know, then Hannah was saying she's worried about me and Carl's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuel and stress. I'm gonna go to bed now, guys. Okay, I'm gonna do too much for me. I'm gonna do to bed now guys. Yeah, I'm gonna do too much too much too much for me I had to do shows and I was just it's the therapeutic was a long day and I was purchasing my fronches a lot a lot a lot I got a bit a lot

So Lindsay and Stephen are in bed and she's like I am breathing and my tips on He's like killing it baby. Yeah So Lindsay and Strauby are having sex in the bathroom Hannah and dads are having sex He's like killing a baby, yeah. So Lindsay and Strauby are having sex in the bathroom. Hannah and Des are having sex. Who knows where. And now we get some tricky monocle with a very simple, very simple song.

Everybody wants me. Everybody wants me. Everybody wants me. I can control it, baby. So now it's daytime and everyone's loading up to go to the beach Ah and Helen desert like we're gonna stable horn. She's like yeah, but gonna fuck yeah Yeah, that I right with everyone we're gonna both so hard and So they all leave and pay just trying to gossip in the car

She's like um he's like the male version of her is really loud car. He's like, um, he's like the male version of her. He is really loud. Yeah. And Amanda's like, yeah, he seems like very calm. And Hannah and, you know, um, he seems like very engaged and present and car like, yeah, he made really good eye contact. Like, remember last night when I said, we, oh, remember me that joke. He like looked at me and like, I felt it. Like, he was like, he, I didn't feel the stress. It was great. Well, I was just seeing engaged and present. So that you guys would remember that I got engaged

and maybe give me a present. Is that too much to ask the day after what was supposed to be my Bing Bing? And then the other car, Lindsay's like, oh, Robert's coming today. So is anyone excited about that? Robert? And then the other car, Lindsay's like, oh, Robert's coming today. So is anyone excited about that? Robert? And then Luke just yawning.

Yeah, I'm excited to meet him. So another car, Paige is like, has anyone said anything about Stephen or are we just glossing? Because I know more about Stephen's relationship than mine. So I need to know what's going on. And Amanda's like That's my line for Amanda. I have no idea. I was like yeah, well when she saw I mean her reaction was adorable I'm pages like Kyle it baffles me how bad you are at gossip and How bad you are finding good deals at DJ max.

So they go on a boat and they start, page just starts drinking, which is, you know, my favorite, my favorite kind of page. I love a drunk page too. She's like, I'm nearly not there drinking at this point. I don't even care what the flavor, I don't even care if it's butlerloy, just give it to me, I'll drink that piss. And meanwhile, Hannah is like, oh, death, death, let me show you a bath, and this is the most amazing bath I'm right in here. So they go into Kyle and Amanda's bathroom, and then it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, yeah, we're done, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm a comic. I'm I found out the hamster extreme times yesterday in Kyle, like twice in the bedroom and once in the bathroom and once in the bed. And then we cut back to them, like finishing fucking in Amanda's bathroom. And there's a car coming up the drive. It's a Nissan Rollerge. Speaking of rigs, here comes Robert and Daniels,

I was like, hey, and then we just get like a very long shot of like Robert's butt as he walks up the stairs, like the camera, I was just like right in his butt, like here is a man in cargo shorts. So, and meanwhile, Hannah and Des are still having sex,

just still having sex. Well, and then Robert and Daniel, like go out to the pool and are just like drinking wine quietly and like having a pleasant quiet romance. It's like, does he? Should I jerk off on Carl and man is bad, huh? Ha, ha, ha, should I do that, huh?

Ha, ha, ha. So then Carl is talking about how his brother's girlfriend has been sending him texts about what his brother was saying about him before he passed and it's really sweet. And it kind of makes Carl feel guilty because he's been drinking too much. And he's like, well, you know, I've got a lot of work to do, but it's going to take some time. And so then it's like, like with pork curls, like every scene is like, um, unmissable.

And everyone's like jumping in the water and parting. So then, yeah, Stravian lends your kissing on the boat, and Paige is like, she, Paige is talking to Sierra and she's like, so, okay, I'm gonna try some gossip. I'm having a lot of trouble getting my gossip to really kind of like take off, so how about you Sierra? What do you think about Steven coming back and she's like, it's weird, it's like nothing ever happened. Yeah, I know.

It's like a couple of flowers and candles would not bring me back You know what I'm saying? I don't mind a judge anyone's relationship Yeah, and then Hannah's like you want to poke me into laundry room? So they waved to They waved to Robert and Danielle as they're sitting at the pool and they run to the laundry room to fuck and Rob's like What's their story? And Daniel goes, um, similar to ours actually, and he goes, uh, ours is one of a kind. And which point Danielle says, see these little caterpillars that you see them at the bottom pool,

they essentially commit suicide. He's like, well, maybe they just don't really know what they're doing. She's okay. So then she looks up and she's like, I think I just saw them go into the laundry room and I have a feeling they're not doing laundry. And we just hear like, oh yeah, yeah. And she's like, well, okay, all right, put your head down on that bottle of toilet. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's cool.

Oh, yeah. You want me to come and say to side-pron? Do it, do it, we're calming. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, hold on. Let me wipe this up with a bounce sheet. Okay, so there we go. Bounce that is. Bounce that is. Oh, I thought I was gonna do it.

So downstairs it cuts to Daniel just going good for them. And Robert goes. Yeah. So now it doesn't have to get into the hot tub. And he's like, you know what? It's so crazy. I've become really reliant on a phone call. You know what I'm saying? And she's like, yeah, it's like I talked to you on the phone for like three hours every single time and like, they're like, wow, I've never fallen for someone like you

before. I've never fallen for someone like you either. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, because I always went for guys who weren't like emotionally intelligent as me, you know? And then like that guy, I would be like, oh. Yeah, cause I always went for guys who weren't like emotionally intelligent as me, you know? And then like that guy, I would be like, oh my god, the guy is intelligent as me. Like that guy would totally hurt me.

It's like, he would like not want to fuck with a tide pod or something. And he's like, you know what? I like you and you don't gotta be afraid, right? Cause to me, you're like already my girlfriend. I'm just like, oh. Oh. Oh.

You're like the clean to my oxy. You know what I'm so, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You like the clean to my oxy. You know what I'm saying? So. So now the whole thing is like I'm 44. So it's weird to me to be like, well, you be my girlfriend. She goes, oh, I'd love to be your girlfriend.

He's like, right now you can straddle me in this here hot tub, right? So now, now everyone else is back from their boat trip. And they're just like on the steps, just dancing and being drunk. And then Luke and Carl are just hugging and looks like, you know what I love? You're smiling. I love that.

I like you when you smile, Carl. Yeah, let's talk, Carl. And Daniel's like, what are they doing down there? And Robert is like, we should get a drink before they get in here. Because right now I feel like a caterpillar. I'm just going to drown yourself. No, I just don't know what I'm doing. So pages is like really drunk, like really, really drunk. And she just like goes up to Robert and she goes, oh, I'm so sorry. Like I'm so sorry. I felt bad for Dez because everybody saw Robert

and I, oh my God, it's Robert! And just like jumped all over Robert. They were so excited to see him. And when Dez came in, they were like literally hiding behind things in the house, just watching him move around. Well, Robert's also a chef. They're like, oh my god. No more tacos.

Someone cook something real. Not that tacos aren't real. I wish we can show you the best versions of our songs, but this is going to be a sorry, Robert. So then Hannah and Des just start making out in the pool and Kyle's peeing on a tree, and then Lindsay's jumping into strawberries arm, just like the usual stuff. So now in the hot tub, we have Sierra and Paige and Des and Hannah and they're there and Paige is like, oh my god, like on the

porch today, I like literally almost had sex with Carl today, like, and Des is like, oh yeah, well we did a tour of all the rooms, I mean, just kidding. I mean, I mean, well, I mean, Yeah, I fucked in your bed page basically. Yeah, it's like I fucked in every room. So we cut to Kyle and Amanda and He's like, oh my he's like page got lit and I really love that and I was like, yeah, that's the main title I'm like I miss that version of paid. Yeah, the moment she's herself without Hannah and the giggly squad, that's my favorite version. She's like, sine. Like, yeah.

And like, Hannah. Meanwhile, Paige is drowning outside the hot touching. Mm-hmm. And Paige is like, but Carl in my head. Yeah, she's like, in my head, I was flirting with Carl. Like, did you flirt with Carl? Or did you just flirt with him in your head Because in my hand I flirted with

So it cuts back and Amanda's like can I have a and does are like adorable and Carl goes I like does Yeah, like when she can do me with someone who likes her back. It's like a can you be with someone who likes her in packets like adorable car and then Luke is just like playing beer pong but also doing like a little Russian dancing oh look at me it's like I'm Russian oh yeah oh yeah so back to the hot tub Hannah's like we fucked in every room in the house today yeah and but you know what I have to see in the pantry she ate a little. She ate a little in there. Yeah, he's like, yeah, we ate in the pantry You know what I'm saying and Sierra's like so you'd like to her vagina goes no, no, no, that was actually in Kyle the man this bathroom Hey, I wish but I'm just like see you were a guest here and like the I don't know like

This guy is rubbing me the wrong way too. I am not gonna lie I don't know, this guy is rubbing me the wrong way too. I'm not gonna lie. Well, he's rubbing Sierra the wrong way too, because she's like, I'm gonna drown myself. So then Amanda's like, yeah, he's so fucking cool. Like to see her, my friend. Finally, be with someone who actually likes her back. And Carl's like, um, so you're observing that. You know, because Amanda's like a little overboard with this new guy and everyone's, I think everyone's gonna be like, uh, fuck this guy. Yeah. So then Hannah's to page like, page, don't tell Colin Amanda that I went down on the bathroom, don't tell him that! And then she's like, I would never tell, never.

Within this hour. I would never tell him in front of your face. I would never say that. Yeah, and she says, I don't care how many fights I've had, that is the biggest fuck you I've ever seen. Kyle is going to lose his damn mind with somebody tells him that's not me within the next hour. I hope that I am I hope I'm there when someone, basically when I tell them that I, that that that happened. I can't wait to see it.

Well, that brings us to the end of summer housing. That was a fun episode. It's so good. I love a show that I can get you finding about really stupid as shit. That was a really, I really enjoyed our arguments today, Ronnie. Those are really fun. Uh-huh. We'll see. I'll see. I'll see. After this, you're gonna be like Matt Whitfield is back on watch and crap and then you are out.

Good bye. I'm gonna so we're gonna wrap up now. I'm gonna go Respond to some very angry tweets that will be coming directed my way. Why do you think you're gonna get angry tweets? Why do you think you're gonna get angry tweets you don't say anything bad? Well, I said something like moderately supportive of Hannah, so I think that's like I don't think you're allowed to do that anymore So I'm just gonna have to deal with that on there'll be my journey and You're gonna get burned at the stake.

I'm a burner, we are burners. I'm a comics. Um, yeah. So I'm looking forward to it. All right everybody, well, we sure love you. Thanks so much for being here. We will be back next week with some top chef, housewives, all that good stuff.

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