Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Friendzoned in Bonetown

Episode Date: April 25, 2020

Hannah finally gets a taste of hot dish on this week's Summer House and Amanda. Is. LIVID, Kyle! For the entire season of Netflix' Tiger King recaps with Crappens On Demand videos for epis 2-7, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. We covered all seven parts of Netflix' Tiger King on our Patreon feed, and have video recaps for six of those episodes on Crappens On Demand! **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I take the fifth with Janus Smith. We love you guys. So I'll wrap it up. You would cry. But when you go through the night, you get this one. I'll wrap it up. So much wrap it up. Well, hello, and welcome to the smooth stylings of Watch What Happens. I'm Ronnie, and that's been over there.

Happy Ann! Hi, how are you? Good, how are you doing, your little sugar plum? Oh, I'm doing great. I'm just excited to wrap up a spectacular week of Bravo with some summer house. Yes, sir. It's some of house and time. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. We sure love you and appreciate

that we can keep doing this craziness during this weirdo time in our world. Thanks for being here. And let's do some small business shout outs. You guys, these are fellow Geraldine's Go support them. Yeah, I've got one. Sure, one of our listeners named Sarah is actually to shout out for her friend. Her friend has a business called Custom Cup Coffee, which is in Springfield, Illinois. They're at customcupcoffee.com.

And they wrote small batches of coffee. And and Sarah says it is so fresh and delicious. I mean, I'm sold. I just bought a bag of Starbucks beans yesterday and if I had read that this yesterday I would have gone and bought something from custom cup coffee. So next time I'm gonna get my beans from them. So go check that out customcupuffee.com all one word. Thanks, Sarah, for that shout out for your friend. Yes, and Emily is a licensed teacher, elementary and early childhood education, who runs a private tutoring company called Elbow to Elbow Learning.

She works with students one on one or in small groups, and she's taking students online. And that means she can work with people all over the country, not just locally. She takes students grades two to six on any subject, and she specializes in phonics and reading comprehension for elementary students. She charges 75 for a four minute,

40 minute, I'm sorry, a 45 minute session, or a hundred for an hour session, but she's able to work with you on a sliding scale basis, depending on what's going on in your life. So you can find out more and get in touch with Emily at elbow to elbow learning at gmail.com. Elbow to elbow learning. Wow. Okay.

Awesome. Get your kids to learn. Get you. Listen, one thing leads to another. Okay. You drink your coffee and then you educate your kids. You can't do one without the other. Yeah, crack those damn kids out.

Get them some coffee through the beans and get them studying. Okay, get them through high school in like a few weeks with just coffee and Emily. Seriously. All right, and then they can grow up and do things like watch summer house. Or at least be part of a summer house. And if you guys want cameos, we're doing those. And we also do watch what crap is on to man videos. You can find those this week. We did Beverly Hills and New York.

They were both really fun episodes to cover. So if you need something to watch, you can now watch them on your big screen TV. Honey, just mirror them from Patreon. Just go sign up for the watch what crap is level over there. And now let's get to some a house in some a house in so Guys it's a summer house started off in such an exciting way actually the way it really started off for me was that when I turned it on

I just saw Teddy Teddy melon camp getting up from a table going. I'm not boring. I'm trying to be chillin You guys will let me be chill. Hi, I'm Teddy which made me laugh because it was the scenes for next week's Beverly Hills and then it Will let me be chill. I was like I'm already invested in this episode of Summer House ever not in it But then it opens with Paige It's like we're all all everyone's like it's it's we just start off with the New York City scenes like what's going on in New York City and Paige is in a car riding shotgun and she's on her like IG story or TikTok or whatever. And she's like, I'm, we're doing front page news with everyone's favorite guest star.

And then she pans the camera over and it's Perry. And he goes, wow, that's the last time you're doing the front page news. i'd like get your fucking you know correct charisma free boyfriend off of my television please unless you're gonna start fucking parry mason get them off of my tv page yeah i mean listen i understand if he's reluctant to be on reality tv but he can at least like give us something on i g

okay this is low stakes also that you know it's funny? So, uh, page and Hannah, uh, they, well, they do, like, joint IG lives and they, cause they call themselves the Giggly Squad when Kyle yelled at them on the season premier and said, quiet down, Giggly Squad or whatever. So I went on a few weeks ago and page was like, oh my god, I love watch our crappins and I love when they make fun of me. That is so funny. And then I went on like a few days ago and she's like, um, I haven't listened to watch our cra and I love when they make fun of me that is so funny and then I went on like a few days ago and she's like

I haven't listened to watch our crap in a few weeks because they were like really mean to me last time like what do you want Sorry, we are really mean to you if you're listening right now turn this shit off. This is not for you Like and subscribe like Like and subscribe. So Hannah is talking to Michelle Collins. I know. Who do you love? Fucking Michelle. Why does Michelle want everything?

I want to be on with Michelle. I know. I like had serious filmas. Like, oh my god, Michelle is simultaneously on Hannah's podcast and on Summer House. Like that is, that is goals right there. I know, I was jealous of both of them. I want to be with Michelle and I want to be with Hannah. Yeah, I was like, I was like, I was like really mad.

I was like mad, not at, not at them, but at life. I'm mad at them, fuck them. So Hannah's like, oh, you talk about loving British guys. I had, I loved a British guy watch because, um, yeah, you were being loving British guys. I had I love to British guy watch because um Yeah, you were being pounded by the hottest one ever last summer. That's all it, okay? And then we go to like a Kyle and Amanda and Carl being interviewed by good housekeeping But a woman with like very aggressive Andrew Lloyd Webber makeup that made her look like Jackie from Real Housewives

of Melbourne and she's like, so what's it like working with your fiance? And Amanda's like, you have to have a strong foundation and it's not always peeing. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No pun. No No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just driving Lindsay Hannah and Jules and it's crazy seeing Lindsay in there. Cause he just always looks so uncomfortable and she's just stuck with the girl. The girls, you know, she's like, she's the cool mom. Yeah, she's, it's, it's, she, it's basically like, like when your mom has to, like, um, shaperone you to like the Ariana Grande concert, but then just like go in there with you and stand with you while you're like, mom.

And she's like, no, also in the back, I don't mind. And then the whole time, she's like, these fucking kids, like we said in the goddamn back, like I haven't earned my fucking right to sit in the front. Fucking, ugh. So, Hannah's like, I have Luke updates. You know, I had lunch with him and I told him,

I just want to be friends and Paige is like, I'm like really proud of you. It's like almost like the time you found a pair of knockoff Prada shades for $50 in a shell station. I'm like so proud of you. I'm very just like look up fuck boy into dictionary and that is his picture right there. I love a good kindergarten burn, you know. Yeah. Look up and look at the dictionary. Look at literally like literally reaching for the dictionary like oh, I mean the dictionary. That's pretty cool I got an addiction area So then on the on-screen definition if I think fuckboy is spelled wrong isn't fuckboy spelled F-U-C-K-B-O-I

Or is that just like a gay fuck boy? I think that's like, I don't know. That seems like sort of Avril Lavignees, even though fuckboys will after her time. I mean, I think you can say fuckboy like that, but I always spelled it in the proper classic English grammar. Yeah, of course you spell it the half way. I go with the Y. I'm out from Westchester, okay? Fuckboy.

I don't go fuckboy. Fuckboy. I'm like, very serious. I think if you're gay, you spell it with an I. And if you're gay or Avril Lavigne you spell it with an eye and if you're Avril Lavigne you might actually find a way to like incorporate an eight into it, but then if you're just like if you're not classy enough to not say fuck yeah, yeah, yeah, going to going to coffee boy He's a going to copper boy. He's a making love boy. So Carl is like oh, all right, Luke come on bro Tell me was really going on more telling me what's going on life. Go on. Go ahead and look like well You know, I went out with Hannah the other day and she said that we should just be friends

He's like, well, what do you want? Well, I don't know. I know this. I don't want a girlfriend. And I don't want to get stuck catching my dinner anymore because it's fucking cold out there, dad. Right. Yeah, we see a flashback of Hannah breaking it off with Luke. And he's like, you know what, I'm just like literally

a hot mess. Actually, more of a hot dish, which is apparently what we call casserole's in Minnesota. So thank you to everyone for my home state of Minnesota for reminding the crapens boys that it's called hot dish not casserole. No, hot dish, hot dish. Yeah, but what if there is just an actual dish that's hot? You're like, watch out for that casserole. You're going to burn your fingers.

Yeah, they probably call it that. Yeah. They just switch it around. Yeah, what happens if you get served a hot dish in Minnesota? Is it like a Laurel and Hardy moment? Like, be careful. This is a hot dish. No, it looks like it's probably just a standard dinner.

No, but this is a hot dish. But it looks like it's not a one-pot meal. If you know what I'm saying? No, but it's a hot dish. So don't touch it. Oh, I can't touch hot dishes anymore. No. Yeah, Minnesotans are very confused when they go to like a lubi's or like some buffet that has like warm dishes like wait a minute

That's not a hat dish. What are you trying to trick me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, oh, what do you want? But I don't want a girlfriend. He's like, but she wants your penis inside of her, bro. Yeah, that's what she's asking for. Yeah. You know what? I want to have sex with Hannah, but I'm worried about the timing because my hat dish is almost ready. So instead we went and got drunk

and wound up at a tackle bell and had tacos. And I said, fuck it, let's just go have sex. But she said no. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, God. Well, what if she needs a guy tonight and he wheels her? Fuck it. Let's just go have sex, but she said no Well, what if she needs a guy tonight and he wheels her He wheels her what what the hell what does she like a big tube TV that you're like trying to bring home off the street But I'm convinced that Carl has a word a day calendar and he just finds ways to incorporate it And of course he has a very sad word today calendar where wheels is one of the words

That's a very sad word today calendar where wheels is one of the words. It's a very basic like ESL. We're gonna take calendar but it's what he's using. Wheel all across. I found it. It's cheap. Wheel. Wheel. It's a circle or hole. Which holes are which you stick your dick in. Yeah, maybe tonight he wheels her. I got it. Got it. Yeah. next week. She's he's gonna door her up You know, I'm saying door door it separates rooms door Man, he's sure gonna drag the crap out of her. That's for sure, bro. Yeah So looks like she know So then page is like um Lindsay, where are you gracing us with your presents? So then Paige is like um Lindsay where are you gracing us with your presents?

I Even bring some Carl because like this me He was in my house every Oh And then we see footage of Carl every day and the first thing is Carl just sitting there Carl Do you not again Carl? Carl just like butt this is hair. Yeah. And then Carl wearing her clothes dancing around. And the next day it's like literally every day. It's like, you're just shooting onto her cell phone.

You're like, help me. Help me. I'm really worried about Carl. I mean, because he seems to me, I have this like amazing guy. I'm like, he's stuck. Like, he's been working through the wheel page of his calendar all week long. And it's getting alarm. I'm like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm like, he's a stock. Like he's been working through the wheel page of his calendar all week long and it's getting alarming.

I brought home a wheel, breathe and he fucked it. So I'm really worried about girl. He tried to do the parmesan, but it was a little difficult. So the other car looks like what's up with Lindsay? Cool dish. I was a little difficult. So the other car looks like what's up with Lindsay? Cold days. Yeah, well, you know, we've been like on top of each other all summer. So we just need a friend break,

like, my summer has been rough. It's been hard with the females. It's been hard. Basically, I just act like me and the females see what I am and they don't like me anymore. So it's rough. It hurts, hurts. It hurts almost like being run over by a pair of wheels.

Wheels. Which you don't get to talk about. Yeah, real word of the day. So he's like, only enough, I hung out with the girl whose grandpa farted a lot in Chicago because of Chilli or something. It's like jewels. And then we see Carl, like, look at me.

It's with jewels. Can't believe this is actually happening. Wow. That's right. Oh, the word is not jewels. It's wheels just to clarify. Thank you. Luke, second round, we got two weekends left. Let's stick our penis in as many squares as we can. Wheels, bro. Race. Wheels. Wheels. So everyone's showing up at the house. Kyle has realized that he's gone like a whole summer without making all his crazy frozen drinks and BBC's.

So he starts getting that go in and Carl is like, yeah, hey bro, I'm gonna load up the laundry in the washing machine, or is it like to call it Tuesday, the Tuesday word, washing machine. Man, I'm just like, you guy in there's so cute doing laundry and Kyle. He's like, well, you got to do it. It's like to save money.

Listen, those white shorts don't clean themselves. No, they don't. They do not, but they do seem to shrink themselves. So then Hannah comes in and like, gives Luke a big hug and pages faces like, I do not like and I do not subscribe to this right now. Did I just dream that car ride? Because I thought friends fist bump each other. A Sussedubit.

I got a little worried when she started saying fist. I was like, oh god. Whoa. And then I think I should sit bump. Wrong show. That's the other show that took place in the Hampton. So that fire fire. I'm like, yeah.

So Lindsay's like, oh my God, what is it, Shawnee? I was venue Shawnee. And Amanda's like, oh my God, we found when this absolutely stunning Kyle, but when we're gonna make it work, it has to be a cocktail style wedding instead of dinner. Which solves that whole fight because weren't they fighting earlier in the season because Carl didn't or Carl didn't want to assign seating? Probably. I think so. Yeah, that's right. He wanted

to have like a brief work. Yeah. I'm not marrying your mom. Yeah, that's right. That was that whole thing about the seating chart. So yeah, they're going to do a cocktail style wedding. Great. We've gone to one of those. Just please have. Can we get in trouble for that? Please have food. Just put out some spreads.

They're always in trouble for that one. Yeah, they're just tell people first it's a cocktail wedding. You know, tell them there's no food. Tell them to do what I did before that one. Yeah, they're just tell people first it's a cocktail wedding. You know, tell them there's no food. Tell them to do what I did before that wedding before I even knew it was a cocktail wedding and ordered two meals off of Greb. Yeah, I didn't know. I know. No, I was like, I'm hot.

I can't be in this jacket. I think I'll eat more. So Kyle's making some margaritas and Carl's like, oh, Kyle, grab a couple for the boys. Yeah, for the boys. Yeah, yeah. So the boys then grab their margaritas and sit down in the living room and he's like, God, hey, Jens. So since it's late August, it's that time of the year one hour.

I start to think about cursing again. That's when I fucked up every female relationship over the course of summer. So I go back to old reliable. She's like, it's like training wheels, wheels, training wheels. Yeah, I'm curious about Kirsten again. Otherwise known as last chance kitchen. So that's always fun. And Kyle, Kirsten, here we go again.

And then we see last summer and it's that sweet blonde girl who probably dumped for no reason. Yeah, he's like, Kristen and I've always had a physical attraction, which is why I don't don't date her until the end of the show. But yeah, so I'm just going to revise my own personal history and say that I have actually always really liked her. So there's a.

Yeah. So, Carl's like, oh, yeah like oh yeah like look look we hooked up okay actually smash bro you're not even a Mario brothers yet I was like I want to really enjoy that that Nintendo reference there this like super smash brothers to my brothers but it was Carl so I just couldn't but it's so Carl to reference Smash Brothers, because that game's so fucking lame. It's like just Russell Buncher buttons and hope something works. Yeah. So, it's been a rough summer.

I've like fallen off that platform a bunch of times and Mega Man's been really beating me up. And it's just like, I guess I'm just a bad guy, you know? The Princess from Zelda's really been kicking my ass. It's been a rough month with the girls. Rough summer. Rough summer. Yeah.

I mean, you know, I guess I should never have finger-banging peach and now Daisy's mad at me. So it's just been rough Donkey Kong's a bro though Yeah, so Luke is like so Hannah, you know, dump me and said let's just be friends and then we just kept hanging out We went to Taco Bell and then I was like come come on, let's go born. And Carl's like, stop chipped-oing, bro. Looks like I wasn't. I wasn't. I was ball deep in tacos. It was called, I mean, in Minnesota hot sandwiches.

And I wanted, I was ball deep in tacos and I wanted her taco. And she wanted no part of it. Get it? I wanted her taco, Taco Bell. I wish there was a part of her that looked like a bell because then I could really go with this bit, you know? And Amanda and Paige are listening

because that's how they are. They're like five years old. So they're at the doorway listening. And Amanda's like, I know, don't like Lou. It's obvious he's playing Hannah in some way. I mean, that's just a part of being a male model. You just are gonna play every woman that you meet. So, I mean, yes, just a, that's just sort of part of being a male model. You just are going to play every woman that you meet. So I mean, yes, I understand what Amanda is saying, but it's not really a revelation. So Carl's like, oh, so you guys are going

to just be friends. That's what it is. And he looks like, um, I think it's pretty obvious that she's going to sleep over in my room over the weekend. So, you know, hat dishes all around, you know? Hat shells. So, Kyle's like, Luke's gone eight weeks without sex with Hannah, begging for it, like something's not adding up. He's all talk and no cock. Is that an expression?

Is that an expression? But I'm glad it seems fishy to somebody else. Which part is fishy? Cause there's all sorts of stuff happening. That old dude who's always pretending to be into you, but they never wants to be. Yeah. So it's just something weird going on. There is.

I agree. I agree. I don't know. Like on the one hand, I'm sort of the mindset like, you know, Hannah doesn't seem to be two bothered. So why should we really be bothered? So I get that. But I also do agree that Luke is kind of like a fuck boy.

But I like his fuck boy method much more than Carl's, because Carl, Luke, I feel like as in total command of his fuckboy powers, which I appreciate, like he's just like, I'm a male model, I know what I want, I'm gonna get it. And Chris Carl does all these games, and acts like a victim and this and that, and I'm like, I don't know. I think pretty much like a solid 67% of what I just had was probably problematic. I acknowledged that, and I reserved the right

to revise my opinion by the end of the episode. So Paige runs back to the girls, and she's like, wow, the info I just collected. One, Carlos and Kiersten, they're like, oh! But the juiciest part is Luke. And Amanda's like, yeah, he's gonna end up in your bad Hannah. Yeah, yeah, Ed, so Hannah's like, you know what? This shit is just like too complicated and Jules is like,

meanwhile, Jules is like on the bed and she like picks up this piece of fabric and she's like what is And pages like no it's my crop Tom. Yeah, it's like a muppet. It's like one of those little first tools You know that they sell it Ross. You're like how many first tools did they try to show in the world? Yeah, they ended up at Ross Yeah Did they try to show the world? Yeah, they ended up at Ross. Yeah So now tricks ease like where the trust of the town We want to play stone

They all get ready to go to South Hampton social. I smell like balls Balls round circular, but they're different from wheels Fun fact similar but different so Hannah Hannah's with Amanda in page. She's like oh my god. We're all dressed like different animals You're an ostrich. I think pages of hamster. I'm not really sure. I'm a snake and Jules is just invisible and invisible animal right now. Oh, she's not here. Oh, okay. What, I'm here.

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but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So they're leaving and Carl's like, uh, Jules decides to drive at the boys today, which is hilarious. Like the people on this cast never learn anything. So Carl's like, oh, Jules, I would buckle up if I were you. And she's like, why?

It's like, oh, betterules, I would buckle up if I were you. And she's like, why? He's like, oh, better be safe than sorry. All right. Oh. So then, this car can go very fast on a count of its wheels. Look, Carl's like, Luke, for real now, real now, okay? Like, okay, by the way, Jules, okay? By the way, Jules, circle of trust. Circle of trust, Jules, okay, by the way, Jules, circle a trust.

Circle a trust, Jules, okay? It's like, mm. Yeah, like, since it's wet, just because you say it does not mean that it's actually a thing, you're just like, you're just being dumb right now. Jules is there. But it says circle a trust. So he's like, so, like, I feel like I'm a sixth grade

like right now, like sex doesn't even exist. Real talk, when did you last have sex? And Luke's like, oh, about a week and a half ago. And Joel's like her eyes closed. And she's like, if I had liquid in my mouth, I would spit it out. But instead, I'm just gonna go like this. And Kyle asked if Hannah knows,

and he's like, it doesn't matter if she knows, because guess what, I don't care. And Joel's just like, oh, you. And so he tells us, aim sink single in the city, all right? And I just got out of relationship where I bought in the ring, okay? Yeah, yeah, it's like saying, hey, just cause you made a hot dish,

I can't make a hot dish too. And now you gotta tell me everything that's in my hot dish. And I gotta tell you everything that's in your hot dish. It doesn't work that way. My hot dish is my hot dish. If you wanna have it, you take a fork and you have it and you enjoy it, it's delicious. Yeah, you can have it it.

If you want it, you can have it it. I ran. Yeah, I bought it. I bought it. I bought it. I bought it in the hot dish. Now watch people, I'm just saying, I'm just pointing that out so we can see

if we get emails that say, that's how you say it in Minnesota, a button. Maybe they do. Yeah, what do I know? Yeah, oh yeah. So yeah, so he's like, of course I'm gonna fuck. emails that say, that's how you sat in Minnesota button. Maybe they're going to why now. Yeah, oh yeah. So yeah, so he's like, of course, I'm going to fuck. Like what you're going to tell me that I can't talk to 10 people while you're probably talking to 20. You're kidding me right now.

And so then Jules is like, well, why are you having sex with other girls and not Hannah and Luke is like, well, what if I hook up with Hannah and then I go on living my single life and I wind up hurting her. So I'm like, okay, so the issue here is that you actually genuinely like Hannah. You don't want to just like, you know, hit it in quid it, right? So you actually want to treat her, you actually want to do something real with her, but you know that you're going to cheat. So you don't want to, you don't want to mess it up. Um, so yes, that means that you are officially a fuckboy then. Yes. Yeah. Cause it means you are inherently going to cheat. Yeah. So then, uh, ordering a espresso shot with Bailey, oh, and espresso or tele with Bailey's, yeah. This, it's so funny, cause they do this

every episode. They're like, okay, let's do this. I spread so much teeny chain. Here we go. One, two, three, four, five. And I'll have a jack and die coke. Like, oh, come on Luke, every week. Can't just get the damn things. We can get that in a full table. And then they're eating bread.

They're each served a piece of bread on a plate. And Luke's like, why don't they just give us a basket of bread? I just don't get this. Which is so true. Or when restaurants do that, I'm like, what don't they just give us a basket of bread? I just don't get this. Which is so true. Or when restaurants do that, I'm like, what the fuck man? Like stop mother. It's like, we have Ronnie's gonna eat all the bread. Don't put it out in front of Ronnie.

Yeah, and that's my fucking prerogative, all right? We basket a bread. Why can't we just get a basket of bread or as we call it in Minnesota, we fuck it. And it's like, well, they make it feel more important by just having a little. So then page is like, um, so the girls were eating strapping earlier today. And we want to know about Carl's love life, which seems to be going terribly. So you have the floor car.

Kyle Carl. Take the mic for a man. So it's like, what did you hear? Thank you for sleeping with Kirsten. He's like, well, you know, we're trying to rekindle, re-settle, re-settle wheels. And she's like, well, is it going to be different this time around and goes, I don't know, but it's nice to have someone who supports me who I can trust. Just like, he starts to take all these things like some more like a

feel safe with, like, feel safe. Like, stop. This is what he always does to try to make himself seem like does a vulnerable guy who's just misunderstood because he's emotionally raw. Like, what do you do? Kierstins can be safe with. How could Kierstins make you feel safe? You guys broke up. Yeah, Kierstins always got like band-aids in our purse

or something. I don't know where this is coming from. And then he's like, Oh, what are you saying? You at the end of the day, I need a girl's attention and a bra, bra, bra. He's like bravo Lindsay we're having an adult conversation and you're over there making side jobs do not Speak to me And

I apologize for the wrong way of speaking to you moving forward Let me know how you would like me to speak to you and we'll talk another time Sorry, I'm not home right now walking through the Lindsay Web. Leave a message down going you. To activate me, press one. So you've never seen me activated a press till and then go straight to the rosé. We're asked to be pro 5, 6, 7, 8. How COVID-19 is affecting my you

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Press hashtag three two one. Uh, I got the coke taco contract. Please press five. Oh, to activate Jolong, press eight. And it is a baby strollers. I don't know yet. Ask the other one.

And if you are trying to reach Please hang up and try his new number ever ever ever 1-800 ever so Carl tells us oh me come on It's been a hard summer for me. It's not fair. Come on. Be supportive Yeah, he's like it's not fair that you get to, that you like our question to me. Am I Carl, all you do is question everyone.

Like you're constantly asking Luke about why he hasn't had sex. So then Hannah is like, all she's saying is it Kirsten is not gonna solve your issues. And kind of like, yeah, look, everybody wants to be with someone, come on. And looks like, you know, what I think you need? I think you need to be with someone. Come on. And looks like, you know what I think you need? I think you need to communicate.

OK. So Jules is like, speaking of communication, are you fucking kidding me? Were you aware that Luke has been hooking up with another girl for about a week and a half? Fucking hot plate, Jules. She's my friend allegedly. I'm gonna obviously tell her.

I'm page by the agency page, I'm smiling so proudly like, you know what? I think I do like her, whatever her name is. I am missing a pair of shoes, but I'm not gonna call the police on this girl just yet. I mean, it doesn't annoy me when she tries to swipe with Apple Pay.

We come into every restaurant, but I kind of like her. The bread plate does not take Apple Pay jewels. Please stop paving your plate. So Hannah, of course, did not know that Luke had sex with a girl. We got a half ago and looks like, no, I told you I'm not sexually frustrated. I mean, that's like, say, you know, like how much clearer could I be? Like, sorry. Like I, I made love to a hot plate.

I mean, what do you want me to say? So she's supposed to read between the lines. Are you okay with this, Hannah? It's like, well, we're both single. And you've been leading on our friend Kyle, making her think that you like her, like you hook up with some girl, are you out of your mind?

I mean, like this is classic Luke. Like you said, you've never had a casserole, but then you do say you've had a hot dish, and then we find out that the same thing, are you out of your mind? Looks like I've been so open and honest. And Hannah's like, uh, then you would have told me about the girl. So, and then Lindsay holds Kyle's hand. Is she like, I am no idea what's going on right now. I love whenever anybody else fights.

Lindsay's like, I am so embarrassed. Yes. Exactly. And Kyle's like, I just don't know why you didn't bend her over and fuck her. Yeah. So the Nana's like, guys, why are we getting upset? I'm fine. I'm fine. Like, let's play tennis enough. I am levied Kyle. I don't like you the way he's been training you.

She's like, oh my God, who cares? He's living his life. Bobna Benningham. Amanda is so invested. Like, she's so excited that people get to finally yell at somebody else about their relationship. Yeah. I mean, a weird way I get, Amanda.

I understand Amanda's frustrations because it's that thing where it's like, you know, all summer long, like, I think I have sex, I don't have sex, and it's like, uh, he's playing you, he's playing you, and then you feel like your advice is not being taken seriously, and then it's like, uh, everything I'm saying is true. So you kind of are like, he's playing you, he's playing you, and then you feel like your advice is not being taken seriously. And then it's like, everything I'm saying is true. So you kind of are like, ah, hello, hello, like, hello.

But at the same time, you know, I actually think in considering this situation, I feel like Hannah and Luke have not been like that annoying to people. It's not like Kristen and Carter. So I do think Amanda, I understand why she's invested, but I also think she's overly invested. Thanks, like and subscribe. Yeah, and well, it's different with her and Kyle,

because she puts everybody in the middle of it, and cries and like, I'm Emily Kyle, then this is me. And then everyone has to get involved. But Hannah's not really doing that, you know? No, like what's going on with it? Yeah, so it's not really the same. So Lindsay's like, oh, yeah, so we already said that. I'm living. So Amanda's mad because Hannah's defending

Luke and Paige is like, I would never let my best friend date him. And Luke goes, Oh, I'm sorry, Paige, you're here. You're usually in your room trying to close. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa King of Minnesota jokes Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do And now you're done. And Kale's like, oh bro, apologize to the girls. Yeah, you're coming up them for no reason. Like it feels like the wheels are really coming off this bus. Am I right everyone? Hey, if you want to take some frustration out, kick out jewels. That feels really good.

And Luke goes, I'm just trying to eat a steak. You know, it's bad enough, but we don't even have a wheat basket. And now I have to try to eat my cow side in peace and cows like dude come down Like so calm I know just shame the mistake bro come down come down So Hannah and Luke go off to talk outside So and then Carl moves over to talk with jewels because I mean jewels is in heaven She finally found her fixer upper. She has a project. She has someone who talks to her

So she's like when I come to come over here, Carl? He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look great by the way. You look great by the way. Let me sit down next to you. Yeah, pretty cool. So Hannah's like, look, fuck whoever you want, but don't be mean to my friends, you know?

Like, they're defending me and you're like, you dress weird. And he's like, ah, you fucking kiddin' me right now. And Paige is just like looking through the window at the minute, she's like, um, why is she're fucking kidding me right now. And Paige was just looking through the window at the minute. She's like, um, why is she even talking to him right now? I mean, it's like going to sex with Evan, you're buying something at full price, when you could just go to the dress barn. I mean, come on. I'm like, oh my god, all your friends are fucking this up.

Okay, Hannah? Like, you never really know when I was fucking some other girl. They not told you. All this pressure, it's so hard. It's so hard to keep these secrets with your friends around the pressure It's like really difficult your friends are making it hard on me. Yeah, I just like apologize He says now so they go back in and she's like well guys I guess you don't have to ask us any more questions because we are definitely not hooking up right now at this moment And cause like ten bucks, say they got a bone down.

Carls like, oh, you're the jokes lately. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna lighten up the booty. Y'all Saturdays for the jokes. And Amanda goes, if she's lame, say, him, I'm cutting her out of my life forever. Oh, okay. So the gang at everyone's home, have Luke goes up to his room and he's like, oh, stupid ass fucking people. I mean, don't even know what a hot plate is or hot dish. You know what I'm seeing?

And Luke, he then he texts Hannah. And he's like, oh, I thought we were having a talk tonight, you know? And then he started playing as a guitar because he's mad. And then he gets like a call from some other girl. And he's like, yeah, babe, what do we celebrate? Oh, your abstinence? Well, that's mad. No, then it gets a then it gets like a call from some other girl and he's like Yes, what do we celebrate? Oh, your abstinence? Well, that's a lie because we just had sex Right, it got to be so hot

Hey, have you heard this number about the coyote? Let me start it up again the coyote Abstained from sex and to Lee had sex with me. Oh It's good, right? It's good. So Amanda and Kyle make out in the kitchen and Paige starts going on a hunt for jewels but she can't find her and she's in the hot tub with Garo. Yeah.

Jules is like, um, I wanted to go back to Chicago and for Kyle's birthday weekend. Like I wanted to and called like, yeah, I yelled at you. I had to hit my quota of yelling at girls, you know? Yeah. She's like, um, did you expect me to storm off and like run to my bedroom? Is that what you expected? Well, look at you now.

It's like a testament of who you are. I go hard at people. Yeah, I go really hard. That's what I do. Oh, so then Kyle is. This way is. He is acting as if. That's what I do. Oh. So then, Carl, let's see. This way, he is acting as if she made it to basic training. Okay.

Let's not assign, please let's not assign so much self-importance to the fact that you're an asshole to her and try to spit it into some sort of, like, she walked across the burning coals and now is like, almost, she's earned a spa. He even says to her, yeah, here you are, still fighting. Still fighting. Am I still fighting? Like, she's in a summer house. There's nothing to fight.

Like, this is not like a personal journey that she got to like stay in a cushy house all summer long and then stuck it out to be on TV. Hey, you're gonna make it after all, throw your hat. I said throw your hat. Get out, you're needy it. all the thump thump thump thump Throw your hat. I said throw your hat. Get out your idiot. I want you out. That's it.

That's it. Get out. Sorry, I go hard sometimes. Sorry. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away. Go He's like, it's my ice cream. It's made with oat milk. What does that even mean? No ice cream is disjoint now. What?

Huh? So, uh, Jules is like, honestly, I honestly thought Carl wasn't ass hole, but I think Carl was a little lost right now, and I've been feeling a little lost all summer. And, um, I'm just desperate. I'm just desperate. So, um, I'm going to, I'm going to allow Carl to sleep in my bed tonight. About to keep their clothes on and just talk all night about super-juice stuff.

She's like, my face smells. So tell me, he's like, tell me about your four-some Kyle. And he's like, oh, yeah, it was like four girls in me. She goes, oh my god, that's a lot to handle. It was really good talking to you. I know. They somehow talk about this till 5 a.m.

And Carl's like, yeah, it was very pretty PG. Like, there was no kissing. I don't want to get in trouble. I'm like, okay, don't do the coy little boy thing. Okay, oh, he's a sweet little boy after all. I know what your game plan is, Carl. Mm. I shine brighter with you.

Okay, so now it's morning and Hannah and Paige are in bed and how it's like last night was epic and she's like, wild. She goes when Lucas agrees that you're petty little bitch. Fucking hot. I know, I could see her just getting aroused as she said that. Yeah. So everyone's getting into their bathing suits and pages like, um, Jules, did you sleep in?

Carl's bed last night. Do you feel self-airself? And Jules is like, yeah, no, we, we cuddled, but like, I mean, I wouldn't date him or anything. I wouldn't date him even though it would mean a lifetime of fixing up and Trying to Make something that could never be I would I would never fantasize about that never ever It's like an endless episode of flopper flop

And Hannah's like are you attracted to him? She's like, um, he's a good guy, but as far as relationships I'm not sure. Do I think he could ever reinvent chili to revitalize the city? Probably not. So no. And pages like, Lanzi, it's gonna lose it. Good luck. I can't wait till I tell her. And Joel has to deal with it. Totally. Yeah. So now everyone gets ready to go Apple picking pages like texting with Perry Carl gets into his iconic signature white shorts and And they all go off to this orchard and they're all find their Amanda and Kyle. Okay, let's just get a little view of what the Gold couple is doing. Okay, this is what happens. You find love you fight it out

You really commit to each other you go through everything just so you can have this moment. Kyle, close the door. Why? So I can't hear you poop. Congratulations, you guys. You did it. You did it. So they're in the orchards and they're like eating apples off the trees. I'm like mad because you're supposed to buy them by the pound and so you're sort of cheating, but fine. Kyle gets to drive a tractor so he's like living out his childhood dream.

And we find out we find out something really fun about page. She goes, I can't buy an apple first. I have a weird thing. Wait, she said that I can't buy an apple first. Yeah, she said I can't buy an apple first. I don't know what that means. Like if she can't buy it before anybody else, or if she has to cut it up first before she bites into it, I don't really know, but she has a thing, guys. Well, Amanda also has a thing. Did I ever tell you that I just eat so many apples that they would hurt my

stomach and so the doctor told me it has stopped eating apples. Wow. Thrilling. Thrilling narratives were hearing on summer house. So Hannah and Juleel, Hannah's like come take some pictures of me and then she just bends over. Yeah, just put her ass out. You think it's gonna be like the sweet moment where they're gonna like put their drape

their arms over each other, be like friends forever. She's like no, look at my asshole. So Paige is with the other girls and she's like um do you think last night nothing happened with Jules and Carl when they slept in the same room because they were sleeping in the same room and he was sleeping in her bed in the same room as the bed that they were sleeping in together last night. Hmm I wonder if anything happened. Oh I hope the scarecrow doesn't get mad. Oh, that's you, Lindsay. Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope that you're not upset by that news.

And Lindsay and Paige goes, I asked her if they hooked up and she said they just cuddled in their bed together in the room. And Lindsay goes, um, why didn't they all we just cuddle? That's weird. I know. Then her boyfriend must really be doing a number on her because she took that news way

too well. I know. She's like whatever. Yeah. Okay. So, so the, so they all like reconvene together and Lindsay's like, um, I just found out, hey, Carl, I just found out that you and Joel's left in the same bed together. Did you guys like finger bang or you want to explain a little bit?

And Carl's like oh, he's like oh, I don't want you in the house, but three weeks from tonight will cuddle Yeah, show the book Oh bro, by the way look amazing Amanda look you look amazing listen. I'm in a drought That's it. I'm in a drought. Not to make you feel bad, jewels, but I'm in a drought. And you're the easiest thing I can, get right now. So I'm in a drought. I'm a drought. And he's getting really defensive. And Hannah's like, all confrontation sometimes helps

things. And looks like, Oh, speaking of that, I'd like to speak with page in Amanda, please. And so he pulls him aside. And they're like, he's like, I just want to say, I'm sorry. First of all, Paige, you dress great. She goes, oh, I know. She's like, I know, I've already liked and subscribed to my own channel. And then look, by the way, Luke does a small, it's such a small thing,

but I thought it was hilarious when he said I, that he wanted to apologize. He goes, first off, I just want to say sorry to the two of you, sorry. I just like that he wants to apologize, he goes, first off, I just wanna say sorry to the two of you. Sorry. I just like that he like, announces his intention to say sorry, and then goes, sorry.

Like, I think we got it. I think we got it. Outline of this conversation. Here are some bullet points of what to expect when I apologize to you. First I will say sorry. Okay, and now we begin. Sorry.

Act break. Okay, we're back. Everybody will be. All right, please turn off your cell phones. This concludes my apology. In summary, I said sorry. Amanda's like, yeah, because you like to make little jams and people. No, Amanda. Luke isn't like sitting around making little jams at you. Amanda is on Luke's jock this whole time. So I'm not trying to fight with you okay. You don't know what we talk about when we're alone, me and Hannah. She's like, but I know that it's not the same stuff that she tells us,

leaner. I mean, you seem really controlling and manipulative and like you want her to be your girlfriend, but still have sex with other people. And he's like, well, I didn't realize I was manipulative, wanted to be your girlfriend, but still have sex with other people. And he's like, well, I didn't realize how's manipulative, although it is funny. That when the beginning of the summer, she'd never had a hot dish before. And now it's all she wants. I guess maybe I manipulated that situation a little bit, but you know, it happens. Well, you flirt with her and pummeling and you hold her hand.

And then you get mad when she flirts with the other and guys, he's like, I do not. She goes, do not tell me you don't get mad when she flirts with the other guys. He's like, I do not. She goes, do not tell me you don't get mad when she flirts with other guys, Kyle. And we had a flashback of Hannah flirting with Austin of all people and Luke getting mad. And I think Luke has a right to get mad, not that she's like flirting with other people, but if she's gonna flirt with someone else,

like why Austin? I think he's just mad that she lowered her standards. So, so severely. He's like, you have a man model who is flirting with you so you're gonna flirt with Fasi bear instead that's just not cool I wasn't mad she was talking to him I was mad that he was spitting all over her face just in disrespect so man is like you're a liar Luke and so is starting to get mad, which makes him like really hot because he's smolders and stuff. He's like, oh, Amanda's frustrated.

It's so hard to talk when she's frustrated. It's really hard, you know? And she basically accuses him of not being aware of his own actions. Okay. So she's like, yeah, I think it would be great. I mean, never is mumbling. Yeah. So then they come back to the group and then she's like, yeah, I think it would be great. I mean, never is moving. Yeah. So then they come back to the group and then she's like, everything okay. I'm in there. And he's like, well, man, this frustrated, you know, and she's like, yeah, well, blah, blah, blah.

They start doing their public thing. And Hannah's like, I feel like you've made your point. And it would be nice if you guys were cool because like he's made mistakes and just he needs to stop lying about the situation. Yeah, and he's like, you know what? He's like, I'm trying to explain to you why this situation, like, what, why, why is the situation? And, and I don't know, so she's basically like, like, uh, hammering him about like, like, well, when did you sleep with the girl on what day was that? So Hannah slept in the same bed that you just had sex it and he's like, you know well, when did you sleep with a girl? And what day was that? So Hannah slept in the same bed that you just had sexed. And he's like, you know what, I can't do this. I'm just going to walk away and throw my solo cup in the air,

which is a little bit of a different sport than hockey, but you know, kind of the same vibe. So I'm going to do that right now. And Hannah's like, I'm not even emotionally invested in this. Why are you guys so invested? And Amanda is so pissed. And then Hannah does something that Amanda is gonna kill her for when she sees this. She's like, her hatred is at a level that I've not ever seen.

Like honestly, I think there might be jealousy or something there with Amanda and Luke. I was like, oh, them fighting words. Why would Amanda ever be jealous of like Hannah and Luke, just because Luke is tall, male model. Seems very sweet. He's dreamy eyes. Honest about fucking other people. Loves a casserole, bought a ring voluntarily for his girlfriend who we fell in love with. It's emotionally wounded.

Sing songs about coyotes. Yeah, I don't know. It's ridiculous. She would never be jealous of that. So, Karol, I was like, let's go. Luke, what you made me do? Luke, what you made me do? Oh, Luke, what you made me do? Luke, what you made me do? Oh, yeah. So they all go home and then Hannah and Paige get into bed to nap. And I guess Perry had texted and Hannah's like,

oh, what a Perry say. And Paige goes, hack me. It was like, of course, Perry. So Jules and Carl go to the store together and she said, Carl, do you go grocery shopping? No, he's asked, sorry, he's like, Jules, do you go grocery shopping? And she's like, um, yes, who do you think I am?

You don't? I mean, he's like, no, I go to Lindsay's house. Oh, I thought he said he got seamless. Either way, he does probably both. He's like, um, Carl, do you need me to come over and do groceries for you because I will. And then I'm gonna tell my friends how annoying you are, and I always have to gross for you

because you just like can't even do it yourself. But like, oh my god, he's ridiculous. He can't even do groceries, but secretly I'm gonna love it because I'm gonna make me feel like I'm a purpose in life. You're crazy, Carl. So then Lindsay Carl Steven and It's like oh my god miss you. How are you doing with their friends? He's like whatever you need baby. I'll do whatever you need. Okay. I mean the best time. It's low

So Carl and Jules are in their Uber also known as the production van and he calls like oh fun fact Yeah, I was born in Chicago. So you can consider this moment a little bit of deep dish on my back story. There you go. I know Carl, you've told me that and I remember everything. He's like, well, it was a little awkward this morning. She's like, I didn't feel awkward about it. He's like, oh, but my female situation, like it's unfair. She's like, um, I didn't feel awkward about it. He's like, oh, but my female situation like it's unfair She's like, um, hello my male situation It's just like world world world world world world war summer. I'm alright. Yeah

I haven't got the worst hours the one who was trying to sleep with Jordan of all people He kept telling me stories about Glenn close And they go pick up lobster from the lobster real place. And Amanda is on top of Kyle, and he's like touching her hoo-ha. And she's like, can you stop touching me there? And he goes, Fupa, Fupa every day. He's like, I do not have a Fupa, Kyle.

So do you even know what it is, Kyle? He's like fat, open, greasy, fat, upper pussy area. Also, our new flavor of lover boy food by food by food by And then they bring food home and everyone gets out up from their naps to come eat and Tools they don't have those things that you need to eat the lobster Yeah cracker of things and they also down in front of their lobsters and Carl of course says the most Carl thing is oh Should we go to battle? Should we go to battle?

Lobster so lobster war I want to ask you a question. I have a question What's one food you hated when you were younger and now like currently broccoli love it love it All how to clean up guys or I love taking out trash so I'm gonna do clean up trash take her out Or my summer's been hard. That's all gonna say trash. Yeah, it's hard. I'm like, you know I'm just like I just need to be in a safe place and the Scarborough Smith be feel safe, you know So crowd on the mat crowd's like hey, hey, I got, I got to surprise you. It's a bench outside Amanda. Whoa.

Oh my God, this is all I ever wanted from you, Kyle. Yeah, they sit on this bench and they're like, it's, Amanda's loving how quiet it is. And she can listen to the bugs. And Kyle's like, honestly, Amanda, this summer has been the best summer ever. I'm like, you guys came this close to breaking up. Like, how is this the best summer ever? It was one of the worst summers for you guys ever on this show. You make me such a better person in that, that's like, I know.

I said, you're supposed to say, I make you a better person too. I make out. Yeah. And then Paige is asking Lindsey about Stephen. And if, if, if Lindsey and Stephen say, I love you yet, and then Paige is asking Lindsay about Stephen and if if if Lindsay and Stephen say I love you yet and not yet But um, but we do then get a flashback of them having sex. So that's fun Yeah, Hannah's like she's just swimming up for the dick. I'm like I am definitely And I'm I'm for the

And then Luke's like oh, yeah, all I hear in my bathroom is a steady. It's like a metronome. He starts singing coyote to it. Yeah, it's great. I could like, I mean my two-man band. So DJ Hobbals. DJ Hobbals. Oh, yeah, in the house.

Y'all. DJ Hobbals. I love broccoli. So then, so Luke and Hannah have a talk. They go out to the tennis court down. They sit down on the halls. Did you have those? I'll have broccoli. So then so Luke and Hannah have a talk. They go out to the tennis court down. They sit down on the court and he's talking about how everything is like a big three-wing circus, you know? Oh, that's in Minnesota. That's what we call a used car lot, three-wing circus, you know? So anyway. Oh, so Carl's like, God, I just want Luke and Hannah to bang it's just me.

He's very invested in that. Every season he just wants people to have sex. Yeah. And Jules is like, um, but after everything came out, Hannah deserves a so much better. And then she's like, that is it. I'm going so pissed off. L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la like, you know, Hena, I'm not in this to play games with you. I'm trying to tread lightly. I've never been in this situation, you know, where I need time to be alone and just be a male model, singing about coyotes, but then when I'm with you, I can help myself. And like, I look at you, and I smile, I think, you're an amazing and special person. You're like, beautiful, warm,

hot dish full of cheese and macaroni right now. I just want to hug you and not have sex with you She's like, oh, I'm really on the same page like it's special Okay, weirdo So they go back to the group But they don't go back to the group because Luke is like the tool these is that I'm meeting with you and he bases like I would kiss you right now but the truth is that I'm meeting with you. And he bases like, I would kiss you right now, but maybe can we kiss and not tell them? And at that point, Hannah, it's like too much for Hannah. She's literally sitting on a tennis court

with a male model who wants to kiss her. I mean, if she didn't kiss him, I would be mad at her just because it's like a full sexual fantasy coming to life. So even if it's bad for her, I'm like, you should have this moment. It's a male model on a tennis court. Yeah. So then back at the table, Carl goes, have you ever smelled a weird dick?

Um, I asked that question to Kirsten. I'm sure she hasn't answered. And Carl goes, dude, no such thing. So then Hannah is telling Luke, uh, let's have Fentonite. And she's like, well, so much for boundaries, he says a couple of nice things. And it's like, putty in his hands. Yeah, she's like, oh well. So they come back, they rejoin and page is like, look at them very suspiciously like, hmm.

I know something is up. I can't tell. It's like looking at an outfit and trying to figure out which marshals it came from. Don't understand. I want to go to customer service so bad right now, but I'm out of receipts. No idea what to do.

So now it's like it's time for everyone to go out and party. So it's the montage of everyone getting ready, which really is only noteworthy because randomly we hear Lindsey go, call not knock. Which is just like, would be a nightmare for me. Where did because randomly we hear Lindsey go? Carl, not, not. Which is just like, would be a nightmare for me. And Luke is either vacuuming or playing hockey in this room. I'm not really sure. Probably playing hockey with the vacuum. Yeah.

And we hear Carl's go, uh, Jules, uh, you look great. You look great. So pages like, uh, page and Amanda and Carl I'll stay home together. And pages like page and Amanda and Kyle all stay home together. And pages like this is what it would feel like if you had two girlfriends and he's like, Oh Jesus. Yeah. And guess who buy

the barrier. It's time to come home. Everybody comes home already. I love that. Going out, going out and I'm right coming home. We're coming home. So Luke are hugging in the kitchen in front of Lindsay and she's just kind of staring at them and he's like you know we're gonna get it at you know how I know because she brushed her teeth and I was like yeah he knows I don't just brush my teeth for no reason.

Roger. So they they go up to his room and she gets into his bed and he goes come here burn dog and then he puts like a shirt or something over the camera. It's like oh, it's happening. It's happening Yeah, so Jules he's like does that page no you're in here does she care and she's like do I care that's the question So so Jules and Carl come back after everyone and jewels is like hobbling up the steps because she's really drunk and you just hear Hannah and Luke having sex just you like a Oh And Hannah goes don't break my boob don't break my boob. I need my boob I know don't break my boob don't break my boob. Oh I know don't bring my boob don't bring my boob. Oh

Tedus Tedus So everybody starts waking up and hearing it and a matter looks so pissed She's like jolt's up in bed, you know and Bade stays asleep for a while, but a matter comes into the homeless and it's like she's about to go tell off her neighbor You know, yeah, and then she goes back to Kylie and she's um, I think Carl and Jules are having sex with a door open, which is funny because the trailer, the midseason trailer, and next week on Summer House, they used that quote.

So we were all, I was expecting Carl and Jules to be hooking up. So it was a big twist that it actually turned out to be Luke and Hannah that were having wild sex. Yeah, but it couldn't be them because they're the hot tab. And Joel's health girl Hannah moans the same as she does on the tennis court. At this point now Lindsay is wide awake and she's in bed face timing with Stephen and she's like, I don't think there's one person sleeping in that house right now.

And she's like, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am so let it come I don't know like I'm a lever her so they did it they had sex and they woke everyone up so very exciting we can't wait to see how this all pans out. Well, that brings us to the end of summer house and everybody's in. Yeah, thanks everyone for listening. We hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful weekend and we'll be back on Monday with a whole new week of shows. Be sure to check out those small businesses that we've been shouting out all week long. Go to crappensamurts.com or watch crappens.com and get your isolate,

t-shirt or drawings or whatever it is. I got myself a, I got myself a, I think it was a 12 by 12 of isolate. So I did. I was like, I'm gonna put it on my wall. my wall. I sleep. How funny. We love you guys. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.