Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Goldfinger

Episode Date: February 14, 2020

Kyle and Amanda can't make it this week, so the gang throws a "Daddy's Gone" party while Paige shows off her new gold ring. It's the season of fingers, what can we say? For this week's bonus Trailer Breakdown for RHONY, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. *** Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor", "Twerp", "Dork", "When Life Gives You Tacos Make Taco Salads" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Lawrence KS, Omaha, Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Toronto, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Ann. Somebody get us 10 CCs of Betsy MD. Nancy, Cease and Desisto. We love you guys. I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend, I'm a friend Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yo Bros. It's me Ronnie! I'm from Rosepricks, which is a bachelor roast podcast. And as usual, here I am with my little bestie of the Westie. Mr. Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island on YouTube.

Habianna! Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Hey, what's going on Ronnie? Sup, Brasi. Sup, braw. You're excited for the weekend coming up? I sure am. I'm going to have some great times. Yeah, I'm going to be recipes. I'm going to be looking over stuff. I'm going to be, jealous. Writing down stuff that I normally make, but I never have a recipe, so I can't tell anybody

how to make them, so I can tell you how to make stuff Did I like it? Nice And yeah, this is gonna be exciting old lady times over here And then next week we are gonna be going to some pretty fun places We're gonna be going to Lawrence fucking Kansas to recap real housewives of New Jersey And then the next night we're gonna be in Omaha, Nebraska recapping summer house So if you need tickets go get them and a few months we're going to be in Omaha, Nebraska, recapping summer house.

So if you need tickets, go get them. And a few months we're going to be in Charleston. And we're going to be recapping Real Housewives of New York, the premiere episode. So go get your tickets for that. That's a big theater. And then we're also our other big ones are Boston and Lewisville. And then we've got a bunch of Boston and I mean Louisville is big. Oh Louisville. Sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. And so we've got a ton of shows coming up. So go look online at watchwhatcrapons.com. Check out watch what crap is on demand on our Patreon. Those are we do a video every week. Sometimes too for really feeling like we've got the time. And this week we did Vanderpump rules and we did Real Housewives of New York City trailer on video, also it's where you get our bonus episodes. Those have been really fun lately. So go check all that out and our Patreon.

You can find the link at watchupcrapins.com. Yeah. It's real housewives of some a house. Oh my God. This show has me cracking up. I mean, I always say that. What can I say? I'm an apologist, but it really really does have me cracking up. I was laughing so hard. Yeah, it's a funny show. Oh my gosh. So ridiculous, especially as they get older, you know, I know it's only season four. But Carl hanging out with the young people, well, Carl and Lindsey hanging out with the young people while Amanda and Kyle were gone. Lowell. I know, major a wall. And you can and the disdain that Lindsey has for the young girls

in the house. Oh my God, I love when it bubbles out as it does in this episode. Yes, we can't hide it. Oh, so good. So the episode opens up. I didn't realize that last week was a cliffhanger, but apparently it was. And so we're back to dinner in the Hamptons and Carl has put Lindsay aside to have a conversation and to profess his emotions with her or for her. And he's like, I love you, you're amazing. And I realize that you're a special person.

And we had an amazing time. So, uh, fingers to that, you know what I'm saying? I'm back at the table. Everyone else is like, what is going on over there? And Amanda's like, how many jokes can we make about them finger-maning guys? And I'm like, huh? Hub House, I want to be in your life as best as I can and that's it.

We're not wearing bad. Anyone else? We're best friends. We're good. Everything's good. I just want to wrap all my fingers and hairs around you. That's what I want, how the house. I know Carl likes me and all of the things I like him to.

But he's my best friend. So I'm at that. So I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. And get the alter friendship forever. Like I don't know. I do. It's like, Lindsay, you have altered so many friendships forever. Why stop now? Yeah. So they go back home and some people go to bed and Luke is talking to Hannah and Joel's and the kitchen. And Hannah's like, if you play your fucking guitar at 2 a.m. I'm going to break your fucking guitar. Okay.

Yeah. You're warning. And he's like, yeah, if he gets you into my room, I'll do it little lady. It's just like, sorry, I'm taking my tennis. So, uh, yeah. So, uh, so, uh, so Lucas like, oh, yeah, you're taking, oh, he be so jealous and jewels is sitting there because of what You know, he's gonna be jealous of me literally, but literally jealous of what of what? What I'm gonna be that you know what I'm gonna finish this and start playing the guitar. I think that's a really nice way to end this You know, it's once just write it down and just think about it overnight and then you'll see what he's he'll be jealous of.

So then Luke grabs this guitar and he starts just walking around his room singing like terrible songs and and and I can hear him in her room and she tells page she goes nothing turns me off more than playing the guitar and singing at the same time. Oh my God. So true. So true. How much music history did she just diss? It's like, I know.

But I think she really is specifically talking about in the form that Luke is doing yet. Not necessarily not in the Bob Dylan forum, but like someone who has decided to become a busker late at night in a shared space. Yes. Yeah, he's that guy at the party who has out the guitar and is like, Hey, I'm going to sing some songs and they know like two chords

yeah it's like that guy from animal house he sits on the stairs and then they like come and like destroy the guitar so then carl and lindsey come back to the house and carl carl is now doing this angle where he's just this sweet guy and he's like you know i think that like with lindsey i'm just like really afraid of rejection. Like, I really don't want to have rejections. Carl, we've seen you make out with pieces of driftwood. Okay, you are not afraid of rejection. Okay, nothing has ever stopped you before. Stop trying to play us.

Also, why just stop looking for jobs altogether. So it's working out. So then Amanda and Kallor and. And Amanda's like, did you fart? Can I own, oh my God. Did you like poop yourself? That's bad. That is bad, Kyle. Amanda, you're like, oh, and you have your shoes off?

Take your shoes off. I forgot that that's the thing that Kyle does, which is that he crawls onto beds with his shoes on. For, for shame, Kyle. For shame. He's always wasted. He's always so fucking wasted you just falsely wherever he is you know it's like we were talking about New Orleans

the driver in New Orleans is like here you just get so drunk you wake up wherever you were the drunkest you know yeah like don't worry about it you don't even need a hotel here that's Kyle yeah so now it's the next morning and Jules is up and she's made bacon for everyone and Hannah sees Hannah sees Hannah's like with page and they're talking and saying how basically loop wants the loop Luke wants to hump her leg and everything and she's like, I think that Luke is basically a test for me He's like the six foot two Gorgeous gorgeous non-ratchet test, you know, because like Armand is 5-11, which is like so off-brand for me, but he makes my heart warm. I mean, as warm as someone who is 5-11, could warm my heart. Okay, Luke, I want you. I want you, Luke.

And cut to jewels in the kitchen, being too flirty with Luke. It's so uncomfortable. Not too flirty. I mean, she's just flirting, but it's just awkward because he obviously likes Anna. And she's like, everyone's in a good mood with bacon's involved. It's just like ignoring her. Yeah. Awkward. So the Trixi Monaco song for the next scene is, hey, kid, hey,ie, why not be my boyfriend? Terrible way to hit on someone, by the way. Terrible way. Hey, kiddy, hi, kiddy. Why not be my boyfriend? So Carl, I did it like,

then we see Carl and Lindsay playing soccer out in the backyard. And so like Carl, like Lindsay has a soccer ball by her feet and Carl goes, yeah, give it a good kick there. Oh, puppy duck. I think he calls her puppy duck. Does he call her puppy duck? Yeah, give it a good, give it a good, give it a good kick there, a puppy duck. I think he calls her puppy duck. Does he call her puppy duck?

Mm. Yeah, give it a good kick there. Kick there, yeah, yeah, put your foot weight on the ball, yeah, bro. And then she kicks it and he goes, whoa, nice work. Then on the tennis court, Lucas playing with Hannah. And he's like, well, I'm color blind. That's why I didn't get that one. I couldn't tell it was that. And she's like, do, I'm colorblind. That's why I didn't get that one. I couldn't tell

it was out. And she's like, do you know what the color of my eyes are? He's like, I haven't been that close to here yet. Happy duck. It's like the puppy duck idiot. Did you call Hannah puppy duck also? Because I'm sort of the puppy duck here. So. So I'm sorry. I was trying to drink this smoothie. I mean, okay. I'm sort of the puppy duck here, so... So, I'm sorry, I was trying to drink this smoothie, I mean, okay, I'm on the smoothie kick. It's okay, I'll just talk about the puppy duck. I didn't really forgot to put bananas in it. And it's really amazing how much bananas can do for a smoothie, because without bananas, it's just broccoli and spinach, and it's not working out.

It's like, wow, you must have really given that banana a fear of rejection, didn't you? Yeah, I literally rejected the banana. That banana sphere has all came true. I just forgot about it. Meanwhile, to speak about rejected bananas, we have Paige who's sitting there on the side and she's like, I am like, dead. This weekend has killed me. I mean, you know how hard it is to go to dinner

and then come back from dinner and then get into a bed? I'm dead. Dead. And Paige is like, I love your hair, Jules. And Jules is like, oh my god, getting a compliment from Paige. It means a lot. Like, she's honestly perfect. Yeah. And then she talks about growing up in Cincinnati as a dronanian and how she couldn't have sleepovers because her parents

just didn't get it. Which I love the idea of like her parents like sleepover. Why? No, why do you want people to sleep over? What is this ridiculous thing? You know, I just like why? But we're like, what? Why? Why would I want to have more children in my house right now? I just like that as the jewels is big trauma moment where you have to like say what hurt you as a child Put say have on everything out of your toe, but it's a segue into by page going is it hard having curly hair? So many so many so many hurdles to In the pool and car like hey guys

Fowl and have those pussy and it's like a big kitty cat floaty thing Oh car by carl did not put his finger in it so Kyle is just as a reminder, Amanda and I are going to a wedding next weekend. So we won't be at the house. Like everyone's just like cheering and running victory laps around the pool, doing cat and balls. Yeah, mom and dad are gone. And he's like, yeah,

and I think that you guys will quickly see how much we do around here. And Amanda says, I only cook sometimes. I'm not really a good cleaner. And he says, yeah, I found that out living with her. And then everybody just is really quiet looking at them. Like, awesome.

You guys are doing great. It's totally gonna work out forever, ever. I'm not sure. So, uh, so now it's packing, packing and Kyle once again, it's like, your stuff is everywhere Amanda And then Trixi Monaco You know one thing I really appreciate about this show I love that this show has such a small budget that they just have to recycle the same Trixi songs

Week after week after week every other show in Bravo goes through her whole catalog But this show she gets three and they just put them in different parts of the episode because we had the same thing that we had last week Which is this could be something special something special. I know you feel it now. I know you feel it now And it's a podcast scene Hannah's doing her podcast and our mom to come in her Boy toy if you will What's all you look like you beat us to the kid up at summer camp at Stolish shirt He's like, oh, yeah, that? You look like you beat us kid up at summer camp and still is shirt. He's like, oh yeah, is that what I look like? Or actually, he talks like this.

He's like, oh yeah, is that what I'd recommend? He went into the witness protection program, you mean? Yeah. He's like, oh, will I brought you some coffee? So I have some coffee, regional option coffee, right now. I did not commit his voice to memory, because I was like, he's going to be gone in two seconds anyway. I wrote Deep Muppet Voice.

I wrote down alternate Logan because he sort of looked to me like a straight version of gay Logan. Well, I guess they're both gay, but the Logan from Van Apparules, who was best friends with James. A few seasons ago. Yeah. Just observation. Paige is on a date. Well, she's at home. She's hanging out at home with her boyfriend, Perry. Yeah. And she's doing selfies, which I'm sure, you know, your boyfriend who's

10 years older than you loves loves when you just do Instagram all day. So she's in her selfie cam and she's like, I cooked dinner, but just in case it didn been ripped off the side of big Ben, like a super ornate oversized clock. It was on the wall. I was like, Paige, please tell me this is not your clock. Please, please, this is not work. This does not work with me and my vision of you. Yeah, I have one of those in the garage and every time I come home, I'm like, get rid of that. I resent it. I feel resentful every time. It's like, I mean, there is something about home goods and IKEA has them too that they just love these just huge clocks. Like this is the sort of thing that, that like, it's like a back to the future size thing,

right, where there should be a nutty professor dangling off one of the arms trying to hook a cable into another cable. It's just too big and too ornate. So, Paige is in her clockhouse. She's in her giant clockhouse. Yeah, I don't really have tons of clock conversation rolling out my time. So, Paige is in her giant clock apartment and she's like, oh my god, yeah, so you got to take out and oh my gosh, what's in here? What's in here, Perry? Are those flowers? She's doing it all for the camera. He's like

For you like he seems like get me the fuck off your Instagram Yeah, please By the way, he's Perry it sounds like Perry is younger than both of us But you're making sound like he's burning Sanders because that's how it seems you know with her Yeah, the older guys with younger girls. It's not like that great of a difference on this show. Like Kyle is with Amanda. What are they? Are they 10 years apart or more? Like probably I think seven or eight. Because he's always walking around cleaning and then he's like packing all of their stuff.

And Amanda's just laying there on her cell phone, like swiping, you know, like scrolling through something. It's like that's what you get. You know, I'm glad that you have the, I'm glad you get to tell all your bros that you're banging a young chick, but this is what it is, okay? It's selfie is in fucking swiping on your phone or like dating me basically. Yeah, I'm about to say that also it also applies to young bros too. So, and us, but Kyle, so yeah, that was speaking of which, we then go to Kyle in Amanda's apartment, which we get another tricky monical segue with the classic song a mess.

Do they have different rooms? Well, I think there's a bedroom and I think there's a bedroom and a living room. I want two rooms if I'm ever with somebody. There's no way I'm living in a one. Okay. Need to two. Need somebody to go home. York City. Yeah. So yeah, he's loaded.

And he's driving. Well, his little office is part of the living room. It's like he has a standing desk area. And then behind that is like a, I think there may have been a table or there may have been something. And then is the couches. It was by the way a beautiful apartment.

Yeah, so he's talking about how, yeah, I've taken this idea of lower boy sparkling tea into an actual product. And so he's like business, business, business on the phone. They're talking about the website and Kyle's like, oh, well, you know, I'm on top of the mando about it, but apparently she's not going to do anything. Oh, I'm great. So Amanda comes in and she's like, hey, and just like lies down and start

swiping on her phone. Yeah, it comes like, Amanda, did you have a good day at least? Because it was just long. Okay. Are you hungry? There's leftover pizza and there's a, well, I guess I eat my chicken. So yeah, I don't even care Kyle. Trying to watch OC Kyle.

I know. I mean, we really have to address the fact that this was one of the most meta moments in all of Bravo history. The Amanda was watching a real housewives of Orange County reunion from several seasons ago because Lizzie was Tamra and then Lizzie on the screen. Yeah, just one of those days you've had a long day and you just turn off Bravo when you get home and you just watch whatever the fuck is on, you know.

There were, there were a few too many orange county references in this episode to make me feel like anything was going to end up well for, for these couples because you had Kyle and Amanda watching Tamra on TV. And then later on, you have Carl and Lindsay calling themselves the Trace Amiga with Danielle. I was like, these are Oman's people. You're embracing them, but these are Oman's. Then you have Carl who needs to get a job. Get a job.

So they're basically fighting because... Carl was lying there with Susie on his chest. Yeah. So they're fighting because she doesn't want to do anything because she's tired. And she's got a lot to do. And she's like, I'm not you, Kyle. I mean, and I'm like, it just weren't all me, Kyle. And he's like, well, what about when we have a family?

Because like, how did people balance like having kids and having a full time job? She's like, I'm not going to a full-time job when I have babies. So yeah, it's also a good question to ask yourself Kyle because when you have a family and you're getting wasted on the weekends because that's the only time you let yourself let the steam off. Also not a great look for when you have kids. So I think time management is going to be an issue for both of them going forward. Yeah, and so she's just dragging her feet on the wedding and stuff. And he's like, just don't feel like we're in this together. So then if you don't know about me, well, I'm about to show you.

I'm about to show you. Lindsey. I've been lying last night. I did the pillow status remover. Yeah. She I was like, I rebound it five times because I really was not sure what Lindsey and her new assistant Victoria were talking about because I wrote down, um, I need a night pillow status report.

And then Victoria goes and the Larktail. Did I get a Larktail? That's what I wrote down to and the Larktail. So we both heard that. I was like, what, what are the first I thought she said the Larktail. So we both heard that I was like what what are the first I thought she said the Lark tale. I was like, Oh, are they doing something with LARPs, but now I'm like, but then I was like the Lark to basically they were just Sing gibberish like yeah, okay, we just just seen so let's pretend we have clients just use any words that come out of your mouth. Okay, I need my fork pizza contract ready. Okay,li Stapler. This classic Lindsay.

I got the taco contract. Knight pillow status report. Yeah, I filed the Knight pillow status report. That's what I wrote. And the Lord tale, the Lord tale. And we need Craig to post on Insta. So she's like, um, this is our home house is really grown. I sent a lease on an office and we went from more regional to national because that's where the money's at.

And she faced times at Rhonda and she's like, um, I cannot even explain. I'm not on the line. Like literally nothing up. Yeah. By the way, it does not instill me with a huge amount of confidence. If my, if my PR lady is like taking time out of her day out of like, servicing my account to call her aunt up to say that she got fingered. And that run just like secretly, I've always wanted to see you together.

Yeah, I've always wanted to see what sort of train wreck that would be. It just fills my heart. And then she's like, well, I'm not getting any younger and I wanna like totally get married right now because I'm the endgame girl. Yes, you are, what the hell? But I'm okay. So if you get to see Luke coaching hockey to little kids and it's so cute.

It is so cute, he's so hot, I can't deal. But it's also like such a strange little like tiny cubby hole of a gym It was like tiny house gym edition Yeah, there's like two kids in there. He's like yeah, I hit it in the center hit it in the center If you got a kid make it your little Tushy down there got it me other kid You know in Minnesota hockey is life and you know we had hard times in Minnesota There'd be times you would be minus 40 degrees out We had no heat and then dad went to jail and sometimes who just beating sardines laid at night and

Making snow sculptures out of snow that fell through the window, you know You know everywhere you go. You're afraid that the ice is kind of breaking. You're just gonna file in It was a very scary time. I was real good at hockey, good enough to play in college, but then I had a head injury. So then I was approached by Josh Hartnitz manager. Well, I was talking, I was talking with Ethan Embrie's hairstylist and Josh Hartnett's manager walked in and Jennifer Love you. It's a pedicurist was there and said, Hey, this is this is someone you need to know. So we started talking Yeah, when room with Clanny hands cake baker, I said

So I was teaching Wesley from Mr. Belvedere how to play hockey And the craziest thing happened the other day. I just like the Josh Hartnitz manager is like lost lost in the snow somewhere, you know, and finds this little kid. Well, you know, I was either, he was either going to modeling or hang out with my best friend who incidentally is a moose.

So I thought, you know, the conversation might be better in New York City. You'd love to do Northern exposure whatever I was happy for. Which is funny because Dana Delaney's therapist was saying I think I need to get into that head of yours you know. Which was funny because we always said Dana Delaney she ain't got nothing in the brain. It's crazy how life works, right? So that's what that's how I became a model hockey coach Hey remember Kathy Dennis who sang that song about too many walls Turns out she has a private chef who's wonderful

It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap celebrity beef You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or wonder ya. It's commercial. We're coming now, we're coming now, we're coming now. So Lindsay is picking up Carl and Danielle to go back and they're like, Trace amigos. Woohoo. I know. Good, this is Danielle's big return to Summer House. And you know what's crazy, Ronnie? I was like, oddly happy to see her.

Who would have thought? I had nothing wrong. There was never anything that she was always very, like, so super nice. But she was just never quite, always felt like she was not cut out for the show. And then when I saw her, I was like, I am oddly happy to see Daniel right now.

I know I felt the same way. I was like, hey girl. So she comes and they haven't told her. They haven't told her that they're banging or finger banging at least. So she's like are you guys pumped? I don't have my laptops this weekend. And Carl's like oh so you're gonna let loose this weekend and she goes, oh, I'm a loser. It's so funny because that's always been her thing, you know, I'm only in it for the deal. We're gonna party. Gotta do my homework. Gotta do a spreadsheet. Gotta do a spreadsheet. I was just happy she didn't have to take the LI double R and you know,

she's always getting off a train like, what is Daniel getting here at 9.30 pm? Hey, guys, there was an incident on the train. I know, coming to the other like halfway through like, Oh, I'm here, everybody. I also really loved when Carl said Trace Amiga because when they're like, Trace Amigas, and he's like, Trace Amigos or, ah. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So Daniel's like, tell me everything. Wanna hear everything? Tell me about the D. And she's like, tell me everything.

Wanna hear everything? Tell me about the D and she's like, and they're both really obviously guilty of something, you know. Yeah, that's where to start. We went to the beach. We had a pretty nice day and that's pretty much it. Yeah. So, uh, what do you say, Lindsay?

You say, oh, that was fun. My what else happened? I have to know that the out what else happened? Night pillow. Oh, wait, hold on a second. It wasn't a real cough. It was a fake cough. Tom just came in with a glass of water for me.

I knew he was going to do that too. I knew. That's so sweet. That is why people fake illness is, you know, that's the basis of that home movie, Mommy, Dead and Dearest, you know, you get a glass of water. All you want is a casserole at the end of the day. To be fair, it was a very convincing and very loud cough. Actually, Actually, I did it. Yeah, I heard footsteps. I heard footsteps. Depp sounds like, Oh, he's getting me water. How do I break it to him? Wow. It was just like, you know, I, he just like, it's just like a tornado of fun when we got together. It

breaks me one or what I fake off. Yeah, because that's three of your best friends now. Lindsay, Carl and Danielle. So how do we tell the Trace Amiga? So then, however, Paige, Hannah, and Luke. Oh, it's all the Trace Amiga. So funny. Paige, Hannah, Luke, arrive at the house and looks like, gosh ways made the big biggest bad guy to follow them and Hannah's like Why so big Luke oh

God I got my brought hockey sticks again by accident that explains it so then They're all making all making cocktails and then Hannah Tana tells Paige, oh, Luke DM me on Sunday and he wrote, miss me at all. That is like the hottest shit of all time. If Luke ever DM'd and said, like, miss me at, whoo, that is hot. I know I'd be on the ground like sobbing. I don't deserve this. I guess what I got. So I would probably like run up to him with a thing of ketchup and just squirt him and just be like just ruin his shirt so that he would stop liking me. I know. I'd be like no one loves you. Your parents hate it. You know, like ruin their life. Yeah. Hey, me. Hi, dude. No, your vulnerability Hey me

No, your vulnerability is what makes you sexier. No I'm a cutter that's hot. Oh God. I'm a binge eater love food Oh my god You know Janine Turner. Wow. She wants she wants trying to bash me over the head I never had such a big erection before I Didn't really understand love until it was explained to me by turtle from ontarages manager You know have you have you ever spent a quiet quiet night alone with Diana man offs Countens and a quiet, quiet night alone with Diana Manoff's countenance. So then over at, over with, who am I thinking of?

Dan, Danielle. Sorry, Danielle. I'm not used to seeing her anymore. I'm delirious now. Like, we have like, I've been activated. And now I like can't even see you straight and straight in our recap. I literally cannot stop laughing. It is definitely the end of the school week. We're off after this.

What are you going to do? What are you going to do? No. I'm writing half a great summer in your book, how mentally? I'm taking a red pen and exing out all the faces of the people who are at the prom. Anyway, you were saying that Trace Amigos I'm like taking a red pen and like exing out all the faces of the people who were at the prom. Anyway, you were saying that Trace Amigos were live. So they come back and I just think this is the funniest way for Jules to meet Danielle.

Jules comes in carrying paper towels that were just delivered. It's like huge like 18 rolls of paper towels and it's Danielle standing there. I was like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I don't know why that thought that was so funny. It's just like poor Danielle. It's like, I'll see what's as a party at it, but every time we see her, it's like, I've got to do work.

And now it's like, well, those are great. It's cleaning up a spill. Hey, Jules, are there select the size? I really like the custom ability that they give you. They wipe up, mess messes small and large. So then page. Jules is complimenting page as usual. And then page goes, wait, your hair is phenomenal. Oh no, she says that to Danielle like us because they're all sing Danielle. She says it's Danielle. Page says that to Danielle, but you know that Jules is sitting there like, jewels sitting there like my hair was. She knows she knows the effort I went through to straighten my hair today. And here I am holding her like the size paper towels.

Yeah, it's a great concept. They talk about throwing a watermelon then we get a clip of watermelon being thrown. And then Hannah goes, yeah, just throw it at page because she's never dropped the thing and anything in her life. Her fingers are fucking long. Look at those things. Yeah. And Jules goes, your hands are actually beautiful. I'm so serious.

I'm trying to better like she's trying to bend and all the little little. Lindsay hates that like what about my hands? My hands are long, and if we're talking about anyone who has long fingers, I think he knows girls.

So then in Amanda and Kyle's car, they're driving to the wedding. And, or no, they're driving to lunch with the parents. Amanda's like, I'm so excited and not being the Hampton's Kyle. Are you excited to see my family or you know, yeah, God. I love that. Amanda is like she, she literally says she's happy to be in the Hampton's and taking a break. Girl, you were there for one weekend. You're taking

it. What's you'd rather, you'd rather be driving to New Jersey to see your parents that they go to the hamptons and drink and have fun Yeah, so Kyle is like well, you know your family has been very nice to me all things considered and he's like Yeah, I'm finally running my way back into their hearts, but now we have other issues like unmade beds Yeah boxes So then back and in the hamptons and Z and Dan Yeller talking and she's like, um so Bailey call so we like okay, so alright and like so like he might like like like oh Like night pillows and like works like. Like, wait a minute.

Okay, I heard you. So Carl Fingerbank, do you put that even kissing you? Are you in the car? Oh, what the hell? And then, you know, just laughs in Lindsay's face. And not like the fake laugh that she does. Like, get in the G. It was like, uh, you were a fucking idiot.

Oh my god, this is hilarious. I can't wait to get on my laptop. I tell them, damn it, fucking idiot. Oh my god, this is hilarious. I can't wait to get on my laptop. It's like, damn it, I don't have my laptop. Yeah, and then she's like, well, I'm a processing. I'm not like a girl who's gonna make up with you all summer. And then that's, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, just her micro aggression against Paige.

Yes, and the yes you are. I mean, you are who you think you're Um, but also what we're speaking of laughs, I have to mention my favorite thing about Luke, his laugh. It's so funny. They should have. Have you noticed it? We didn't talk about it last week. He goes, ha ha ha. Oh, I don't, I didn't commit it to memory, but I know there was one scene where they cut to it three times.

And I was like, it's like a cartoon. It's like if you're reading like a funny, the funny papers, this like written, ha, ha, ha above his head. Well, I'll tell you who was the funniest person ever. It was Jasmine guy's shoe salesman. She got custom shoes from a coplar. And I met him and he was hilarious. Oh, good.

So they talk about dating Carl basically. And, um, who knows? Like this storyline is so silly. Like, oh my god. Like, are we friends? Or are we dating? Like, I seriously don't know. Cause Carl comes in and Lincey's like, oh like oh my up and in her on a monsoon.

Well he doesn't just come in Rami. He announces himself he goes oh hubhours you have an Amazon Prime. I sure hope it's a selective size a select size paper towel because those are an amazing innovation. They're acting very, very young. Like, mashing out by news. Yeah. I don't even know where we stand. I'm like in no mountain flound. Are we friends?

Are we dating? It's incredible. It's stressful. This is almost as stressful as a job interview. Thank God I haven't had to do one of those lately. So then Hannah and Paige are talking and Hannah's like, what are they talking about? Well, they're changing for dinner.

Everyone's changing for dinner and Hannah goes, Luke, change your outfit, you look like shit. Okay. I can do that. So Mahawa's Paige's week, I can do that. So how was Pages Week? I guess someone asked her how Pages Week was and she's like, my week was actually really good. Paragasme to open a cabinet and there was a box inside and I had heart palpitations and

inside was a Cartier Lofering and I just like, I have a ring now. Anyway, it's not like an engagement ring, but it's close. It's one of three. He told me it's one of three. It's a huge thing. This is a lot of ring and then after this comes the engagement ring and then comes the wedding ring So and it goes that's almost as pretty as mine mines from forever 21 Oh my god page the third thing you have a cardier ring on is amazing because your hands if I haven't said it already Are actually a beautiful. I'm so serious.

I'm so serious. Remember I said this. Thank you. So then Kyle and Amanda get to lunch as I try and down. They're a dinner. They're a dinner. Just terrible broccoli liquefied. Who would do this?

Why are you still drinking that for later? No, I'm not gonna waste a broccoli. I made it through. I've got like half an inch left. Just put it to the side and then add the banana in after the show. It's a very favorable. It's a, did you just chug your weird broccoli puree?

Mm-hmm. That's... Almost chugged to death, but I can tell you this. My heart health is gonna be amazing. Well, it will be. I'm not gonna take that away from you. Almost choked to death, but I can tell you this my heart health is gonna be amazing Well, it will be I'm not gonna take that away from you so they're at dinner with the parents, right and Amanda's like, oh my god, and can't believe people get ready to throw a wedding so quickly Yeah, yeah, cuz there's like Kyle is he's like, well, Amanda, I can help with the planning. I mean, like you do the guacamole.

I'm be Kyle and I'll do like everything else. He's like going nuts about this wedding planning. If I were him, I'd be like, thank God, because that's more time I have to earn the money to pay for this damn wedding because I have because you have a startup. Okay. Like, like you should be so lucky to not have the financial pressure for wedding right now. Well, she's flipped the script on him

because he was worried that she wouldn't, you know, be in it. You know, now he, she's the one who doesn't want to get married to him, right? Cause like, she's seen a lot of stuff. And he's always, like, he's always making her clean. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So the parents come in and they start asking questions about what's going on with the wedding and basically Amanda, Amanda doesn't feel any urgency to get

married at the moment. And so immediately tattletails on her. He's like, um, well, actually, like we're hitting walls like, it's like she won't make the bed. Like nothing gets done. Like absolutely nothing gets some masters boxes everywhere and the dad just puts his head in his hands. Like finally someone else understands how difficult this is. Kyle, part of moving in with people, part of that is boxes that never go away. Okay, I have a box, it's my box.

I take full box responsibility. There's a box in my bedroom that has been there for two and a half years that I have zone up put away and I don't want to put it away I'm actually I'm actually think is on for this couple because it's showing you that it doesn't always have to be an Affair that breaks you up and it doesn't always have to be like some horrible horrible thing Boxes it is as simple with I'm a pig and you're not a pig and And like, I don't like to clean and you like to clean, I cannot be with you. The end, okay?

You're just not, I don't know how many signs you guys need. Break the fuck up. You are not meant to be together. Kyle goes, I mean, I feel like I'm nagging because you are. You are actively nagging. You're nagging, you're nagging.

And I get it because you're a clean person, so this is driving your nuts. Yeah. But like Ronnie says, you either have to accept, accept her for her boxes that are not being put away or move on. Or if you can drive a Ferrari, whatever the fuck it is that you're driving, what is he driving? It's a Lex, it's probably a Lexus because they're all driving Lexus.

It's a sporty car. Yeah, it's very sporty and he's like, you just take another slurp of your broccoli. I did. I tried to defend it. Because I could hear, I could hear the like You trying to like hold back sorry some nausea while simultaneously trying to shim Kyle about his car You're like the last time I'm But yeah, if you have the money to do that then hire a cleaning lady, okay?

Like don't let it ruin your relationship. You're loaded. You shouldn't have to deal with these four people problems, okay? It's us that have to deal with shit like that, okay? So, yes. So now we go back to the Hamptons and it's another, it's enough of a tricky classic that I actually remember the tune to this one.

Ah, don't play by the rules. I always make them, ah, don't play by the rules. I always make them. I don't play by the rules. I always make them. So here we are. The gang is having dinner and Lucas like, are we hit? Are we going to hit? Are we going to hit the hat tab later, Hannah? As they start ordering and Lindsay, they get to my team. She has right small.

And let's do. I actually was so annoyed by that. I was like, I'm not going to write this. Because I was like, I was like, you're probably trying to promote Julan again. Why, you're not gonna write this down. Because I was like, I was like, you're probably trying to promote Julan again. Why, you're not gonna write this down. That's an excellent selection, Lindsay. I really support it. So then, Hannah is like, so what kind of grooming do you do is some male model, Luke?

And he's like, nothing, absolutely nothing. And Carl lives in my knees. Carl lives his mind. He's like, no, good guard. Good guard. You know, do any man's scapegoat all on my Carl, you are a Yeti. Okay. What are you talking about?

Why are you shaming him? Yeah. Luke has like zero body hair On hand like it was frozen off as a child. I know he's got like a little goatee and that's about it And Carl Carl who is like wearing a sweater at all times under his shirt is like I can't believe you don't man scoop Yeah, you gotta see you gotta do it. I mean like don't you even shave in weird places? Like listen, everybody. Today I started shaving my ears. Yeah, that's also age. Yeah, also, yeah, nevermind. I was gonna say something about shaving ears, but no, I'm not going to. The point is that then page is like, I'm very happy with Paris Manscaping because everything is perfect. Perfect. Parry. That's what it was like on perfect parry at BB. So he's like, he's Persian, so he has a lot of upkeep, but I'm not joking or anything.

So that's good. So he's like, so Hannah, are you in our mind official? You know, I thought you were. I thought you were there. Like, when you're gonna have a talk with our mind, like, are you gonna be in Nishina or Huse? What's his sign? What does he like to do? What's his favorite pasta dish? Can you tell me more? Tell me more? I want to know. I have to break up some of these like flirtation because of what I do on this show, even if I'm pretending I'm happy with Lucy right now. Yeah.

Danielle's like, why are you interrogating her? She's like, no, let's talk about, let's talk about your relationship. I mean, there's like a lot more going on with you in our mom than like me and Lindsay. And Daniel's like, oh, she and Lindsay are in the relationship now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So Hannah's like, wait, is there something going on between you and not and Liz is like, um, everybody's

bradling about us and already bradling us and now that we don't need to cut it pressure And then Jules goes um, I think that you screaming is putting a lot more pressure on the whole situation Jules Thank you Jules. Thank you. I know your hands really currently How could you bring up my childhood trauma? Yeah, she's like, you know, I have like no one has more questions about what's going on and we will tell you when we figure it out yourself, ourselves. And they're like, okay, like nobody cares you guys. Literally, no one cares. I know they, you do, but nobody cares. Yeah.

So now it's like party, party, party, and we get like cell phone footage because no places let them in. So we see the club, we see a crazy Uber. I did it back at the house and naturally for some reason, Carl is shirtless in his pants. And Lindsay is wrapped around him, like wrapped around his waist, but then she's her head is down on the floor. And he's sort of like half bent over.

They're just doing some sort of strange Cirque de Soleil slash yoga shit in the living room. Yeah. Pretty standard. Yeah, pretty stand. So Hannah and Luke go to the hot tub together and. That's boring. What do you go about it? Because he goes, oh, look at you.

You're down in the out and dis bitch. She's like down in Oat. He's like, yeah, yeah. She's like, yeah, it's pretty warm in here. Not like Minnesota. He's like, yeah. He's like, main tendency with the hand aren't to ruin a relationship, but I'm just smitten.

So I'm just going to see where it goes. So then the next morning Luke is in the kitchen and Sholes comes in and he's like what are you up to and she's like My money is used to getting up at 6 a.m. So now it just like gets up and he goes me too Yeah, I was like that's the sexiest talk. You know the jewels is like wow We totally bonded over what time we get up this morning. There's this guy named Luke in my house and like he's so into me right now. Also, Ronnie, we have to mention an incredible new character who joined Summer House this episode in this scene. You know, Potomac has a deer, has a little fawn that we cut away to.

Summer House has introduced its animal mascot, a turkey culture. Did you see the turkey culture? Oh, I did. Because before, when everyone was waking up, there was all these, you know, a show like all these panels. And then one panel had a turkey culture, sipping from the pool.

And then it like, and then it like, then it expanded. And there was a full on shot of a turkey culture not one of the prettiest birds no so I'm looking up to a wonderful right it was a two I have cultures around here oh the so these actually have the face of a turkey but they're vultures it's weird that's pretty sure it was a turkey vulture it wasn't a real vulture it wasn't like a full vulture it was a turkey vulture it was in my neighborhood is terrifying and they at the first day I was like, maybe I'm tripping.

And then I've seen them a few times. And they're when they were up a part in an hour, it is horrifying. Okay. I've never seen anything like that. And I'm terrified that they're going to come get my dog, you know? Well, this was a turkey Vulture. And I was like like what an appropriate animal to show up on this show. Yeah, like a this like scraggly, the scraggly, strange hybrid bird that's come to sip what? I'm looking at the images now. These are crazy birds. I can't believe I didn't get triggered by a, a vulture. We had them growing up around us.

We have turkey vultures where I grew up. I think it was a turkey vulture. It may not have been, it may have just been a vulture. I'm pretty sure it's a turkey vulture. Should I look it up? Look it up and tell me if it's a turkey vulture, but I'm pretty sure it was. Okay, so this is in the scene where they're having bacon.

Oh my God, this could take a while. Whatever it was, someone will tell us if we got the wrong, the point is it was a crazy bird and it was so appropriate. And while you're looking it up, I think we also forgot to mention going back several scenes when Lindsay was telling Danielle that she and Carl, I like hooked up.

And Danielle was like laughing at her. Lindsay gives her this look. And in such a genius shot, the cameraman like sort of pulls back and we see the zebra is next to Lindsay and they're both just, the zebra is next to Lindsay and they're both just the zebra is staring at the camera like why am I here right now? Why are you doing this? It is! It is a turkey vulture!

I knew it. Oh my god! That's terrifying! It also, by the way, is the first turkey bulger to contract gonorrhea. So, kind of a medical, a big landmark case for a pornathologist. It is funny. It's like a shot. It's one of the shots of all the cameras in the house. And it's everybody asleep and then the turkey bulger in the bottom left corner. Like, truly like one of the ugliest animals caught in Bravo B-roll. And that includes everything we've seen on like real housewives in New Jersey. I mean, normally they show us the most adorable little critters. as animals caught and bravo B-roll. And that includes everything we've seen on real housewives in New Jersey. I mean, normally they show us the most adorable little critters.

And here's just a big ol' turkey vulture waddling up to the pool and be like, mama needs a sip. So today is party day. Summer house are gonna have a dad's away so the children will play party. And everybody's getting ready. And Hannah and Paige are talking about

how Lindsay lost it last night. And she's like, last night she lost it because she doesn't know what their relationship is yet. Well, that's the beginning of every relationship, honey. Ha ha ha ha ha. Honey. Yeah, then we see a brief shot of Kyle and Amanda. I get him ready to go to their wedding.

And he's like, of course, of course, Amanda's late. Of course, Amanda's late. So I'm like, the sounds like things are going great over there. Yeah. And then Page tells Jules, um, love that top, it's cute. And then we realize it's the same exact top. It's like slightly different from the one page just wore. I think imitation is a sincerest form of flattery. So if jewels wear something after I wear it, that's nice. Irritating, but nice. It's kind of funny because pages hold get down is that she's like, I see an expensive outfit and then I find a cheap way to do the same outfit. So I'm like, it's literally your, it's like, everything you're saying imitation is a sincerest form of flattery. That's like literally what your whole stick is.

Yeah. So then they all leave because the girl Hannah is going to play golf with Carl and hotness. And then the girls are going to have lunch. Yeah. So they go to this lunch and then he has to order from like a cat up. Um, I'll have a green salad and like a bottle of rosé, straight to the rosé, and Carl figured me,

and we don't know what it is yet, we don't know, so I'm more, you know, I will tell you what it is when we know, sir, did you get the rosé? So they start asking Paige about her relationship, Jules does, and Paige's like, oh yeah, three months. She's like, oh yeah, Dreamhunts. She's like, does it like freak you out

that he got you such serious jewelry? Paige is like, now because he's totally the one. And then she's like, so when you go home at night and you look at him and you just say, I'm throwing the towel in, like, and then, and then I'm throwing the towel in, which, that's not really what throwing the towel means. I know that means like settling for some bullshit.

That means like, I'm quitting baseball. I'm quiet. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, I'm totally marrying him. And they're like, why? And she's like, because his character is just like, he always does the right thing. He's romantic and sane.

So I'm like, listen, Paige, have you seen sleeping with the enemy? Okay, just look at your tuna cans, okay? And let that tell you what's up. Yeah. And then Danielle comes in doing Lindsay's dirty work as usual. It's like, can I be really honest? Like when it comes to Perry,

like you always have an answer for it. So I was just like, well, okay. What's the night do? I have to answer your questions. Like, what am I supposed to do? Like he's perfect and he, unlike you, doesn't have to take the railroad in to the Hamptons, so.

So then pages like, Lindsay, Lindsay's like, are you like a morning person when he has sex? And I'm just like, you know, gross, you bad breath. Gross you bad breath now bad breath on bad breath now and jewels goes or you could just finger bang and not even kiss I was like it's sort of funny going into the episode I was like you know I hope jewels makes a makes a splash because she's been a little quiet so far and when she did that I was like oh god Lindsay is going to destroy her later this season coming for Lindsay because she's been a little quiet so far and when she did that I was like, oh god, Lindsay is going to destroy her later this season.

Coming for Lindsay because Lindsay's just sitting there giving her everybody dirty looks, you know, she's so mad. She's just so furious that Paige is so happy already. Yeah, that can't stand it. Makes sense. A guy being nice to a girl and a girl like falling in love with a guy. This is crazy. This just doesn't happen. So then meanwhile, Hannah and Carl and Luke are at the driving range and Hannah, like Luke, he tries to hit the ball and he totally misses. And Hannah's like, are you mad? I thought I'm better at you than at most sports.

I love the way that she jokes around with these guys, like her, her cast me. It's just so funny. And then Carl's like, oh, what's the deal with you? So Luke, what's the deal with you and chicks? Which is such a car all way to talk. I know. Are you seeing anyone, which is, but also his way of trying to undermine this flirtation always because he hates it. He hates that he's not the hot one in the house.

It makes him fucking crazy. Yeah, because at one point Hannah is like shaking her butt and Luke is like, oh, I like your butt. And Carl goes, our mod likes her butt too. So yeah, sorry Carl, it doesn't work. Okay. Yeah. It's not attractive.

So Luke is like, oh, well, I was with the girl but we broke up in March because she met Liza and Minali's toe clipper. That was pretty amazing. Good, good, good, really good. Really, blame right there. That was hot. But I couldn't really, couldn't really play right there. That was hot. But you know, I batten the engagement ring, bro. And Carl's like, what'd you do with it, bro? What'd you do with it?

Well, first I brought it to a brass shiner, the one that actually French Montana uses and he made it look real shiny. And then I gave it to her. But you know, I gave so much of myself to her and it was just never enough, which when people say that, I'm always like, like you just, you're just a martyr to this relationship. What's really going on? So then he goes, you know, I wasn't perfect and she get frustrated with me and then got physical

with me and it's hard to move on when you love someone that much. I feel like I'm not getting the full story here. Yeah, I do too. I feel like a male model in New York. You were sitting around her house playing video games all day. Stopped on. Yeah. She got physical when she threw Nintendo switch ahead. I just got really good.

I got really good at Super Smash Brothers. And I was trying to show her how to do the combos. And she just, she wouldn't have it. She wanted more from me. That's terrible. Oh, so suddenly it's terrible, Ron. No, I mean, for both of us, both of us, that's terrible. We're like physical violence

hilarious no well that part I'm talking about I'm just I just No not just you both of us were both terrible so the most angry should be terrible and not gonna be terrible I'm saying that we are terrible the day okay well that's a given yeah so Carl's like well there's a lot of pressure like, R-A-G, you know, you know how it is, like, there's a lot of pressure, 34 to be in a row. Yeah. Like, you know that feeling when you have to talk to someone about something really stressful and because you all those

things, I'm like, yeah, it's called anxiety. Yeah, it's called having to tell your landlord that the rent is late, just answer the door. Like, he's going to still stand there knocking, Carl. You know that feeling when you want to take a girl on a date and she's like, just please don't take me for pancakes and you're like, that's what I budgeted for. That's the feeling I'm having right now. So everybody is getting ready for the party. I'm going to make it to the top. Classic. Another one from last week. Yeah.

And Lindsay's like putting on Tanner with an oven mitt. I've never seen it. Why it like that? Is that how you do it? Uh, I didn't look at how she was doing it. I just know that she turned to Page and Danielle, who were sort of right in your bunch. Don't you dare tell Carl I was tanning my legs and Page goes, never, never. It's weird that you care now. I was tanning my legs and Pagius never, never.

It's weird that you care now. Oh, so then the guests arrive and Hannah gives a toast. There's a lot of things, we hear a lot of Carl say things like, Hey, I know you. Hi, hey, Carl 4.0. How's it going? Wait, I know you, bra.

Hey, hi, I know you. And then Hannah gives a speech. She's like, I want to pour one after a calendar mat who have to be at a wedding even though there's this disaster and I'm not totally not getting married, it is. And then it cuts to a hotel where Kyle is clearly wasted and he's in one of those like, luggage car things that Bell hops have and he's like, wow.

And you just hear Amanda going, stop it, Kyle. Kyle he's like, wow. You just hear Amanda Glinks. You just see her grabbing a box and putting all those like hotel brochures inside it. This one's going in the bedroom. It's staying there for six months now. Proposiment just making a box and putting in the bedroom. So Hannah is talking to Danielle and she's like, how's brunch? Anybody talk shit about me? And Danielle tells her, well, we were talking about page and perry. You know, it's like, page just wants to be so perfect. I mean, like, are we getting the

real real? Are we getting the real real? Yeah, a real real. And I was like, well, page just puts on a facade. I didn't even know I'm really close with her. Sometimes she just puts on a facade. Anyway, I'm ratchet, dead ass drinking. Cut to page being held up to do a keg stance. So funny. I know. And then there's like a random shot of her eating, I guess, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

She's like, slouched over drunk on a chair. And then just this like jelly just like plops out of the sandwich onto her top. And she looks at it like, ew. I just didn't see it myself. Because then because the reason why they had to show that is because then the rest of the episode she has like a little jelly stain on her top and at one point they even zoom in on the jelly stain. Did you notice that? Yeah. Jelly shaming. Yeah, jelly shaming. So then Paige is talking to Jules and Jules like honestly, I'm like obsessed with you

So I'm pages like I don't know if I hammered or if I really like legit love you Check now I love you And then Jules like Hannah if you didn't know page and I are basically Dating and I'm gonna call myself Hannah now cuz I'm the new Hannah now bitch Yeah, and they also kissed basically dating and I'm gonna call myself Hannah now, because I'm the new Hannah now bitch. Yeah, and they also kissed, she just skipped over that part. Oh, sorry.

You don't care what? Well, you're the one who skipped over the turkey vulture. I love that story. So yeah, so then Hannah's like, oh, okay, taking her, Jesus Christ. Hold her away. It's in Pulsaroway and Jules is left there

with the saddest face. I know, because Hannah's like her face at first is like, ooh, this is stupid. And then she just pulls Paige away like, no, we'll not let you let that happen. So then she's like, um, so can you tell me about Branch would happen? And, you know, it's just, oh, so I heard that you went to

Branch and they feel like you put on a perfect pass-on and they just want to get to that you went to branch and they feel like you put on a perfect passat and they just wanna get to know you differently and stuff. And like, you know, it's fine. Like if there's an issue with Perry, that's fine. Like I heard about the clock. We're all sad about that. You know, it's okay to let it out.

Yeah, they said that I didn't have an answer for everything, but like they asked me questions and I knew the answer. So. So she's like, well, I'm dating a guy's older and like, I'm so young. So like, I want to be with my friends, but then I have an older guy and like, I mean, like he knows what he wants,

but like, I don't even know if I know what I want. Oh my God, I've got to know like, my shirt. No. The point is that like, I have a jelly scene. Okay. And like, I really was not ready for this jelly. That's for years and years we want to know the answer. Here's the answer.

I was not ready for the jelly. I really don't think I'm ready for this jelly. And I was right. That's the answer to that question. And I knew I wasn't ready for the jelly. I told people I wasn't ready for the jelly and they still gave me the jelly. And guess what?

I wasn't ready for the jelly. So I need your help in this conversation. So let's see. Oh my God. Yes. I wrote it all down. It's a good lens because, um, is that strong? Rubber?

Like where do you get the straw? And I wrote that. We're about to save the dolphins. We're all saving the dolphins. Should we catch up? Was that what you said? I just, uh, yeah, he go, yeah, well, I don't hear the dolphin part because I think I was still laughing at Lindsay's intellectual curiosity on display.

I'm gonna straws. Is this a rubber straw? Oh, should we just, hey, you want to go catch up? Let's catch up. So they go to like a corner of the yard and they put down a picnic blanket as if they're like, you know, in the middle of, you know, Paris, but they're just like near where someone's puking after a beer bomb. And they're like having a little picnic. And oh my god, look at this leaf. Cause there's like a leaf on her toe. Look at this leaf carl. Oh, yeah, leaf me alone. Oh, Carl. Oh, god. So she's like, um, like two weeks ago is when shit sort of like came

on and I've had a lot of it up to think about it and browsers it. And like I need to know genuinely, is it real or not? Not. Is it real or not? He's like, it's real. I told Anne Ronda that you fingered me. So is this real? Trace at Migos. Yeah. So it is real, but like it's real like I told Ann Ronda that you fingered me so is this real? Trace at me goes yeah So it is real but like at the same time like I'm afraid you don't like me Check my rejection of the door because I like it all I like it all I like it all I like it all I like you Want to go on a date? Yeah, let's do a day. I like that. I just had to Carl like you with himself You want to go on a date? Yeah, I's do a date. I like that. I just had to car like you with himself. You want to date? Yeah, I will date you Carl

I will date you Carl bring the leaf Bring Carl 1.0 Carl 2.0 and Carl 3.0. We'll have a 3-some bra Sten Lindsey kisses him and go a lot feels good And that's she bends over to do that thing where she's like, yeah, I'm up in a bikini. So I'm going to show my goods. Like she bends over and sticks her ass out. And then you just see the timelines on her thong. So hilarious. So so funny. Oh my God. So hilarious. Well, the good news is not only are we obsessed with this show, but we are going to be doing this almost a week from today in Omaha, Nebraska.

I'm actually excited. I've heard Omaha is very, very cool. Everyone I say that we're going to Omaha. They're like, oh, that place is actually really cool. So we are really excited to go to a really cool place and recap summer house. And the night before we'll be in Lauren's book Kansas. We're recapping Real Housewives of New Jersey, so that's gonna be an awesome back-to-back experience. Go to watchercrapons.com to get tickets for that.

And then we'll be back on Monday with our usual, you know, Real House's Atlanta, Shaws. We got a whole week of recaps coming up. So until then, talk to you all later. Bye! Bye everyone! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WaterCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

and add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.