Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Got Milk?

Episode Date: March 27, 2020

This episode also available as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo This week on Summer House, we find out that Kyle was breastfed for way too long which explains quite a bit. Luke isn't the prince we'd hoped he'd be, but Jordon is the fool we figured he was so it all evens out. For the new premium bonus on Netflix' Tiger King, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about On Yo Bros. Okay, it's the channel that we watch. We really like it. Hi everybody. I'm Ronnie You can find me over on Rosepricks the Bachelor Rose podcast and it's usual. It's been Mantelka From Game Brain and guess what else the real housewares of kitchen island, okay? It's Cartoon. You can find it on YouTube. We're also both on Camille. That's been really fun doing during this crisis,

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Your car folder doesn't understand why you're upset. Yeah, your car folder just says, let's have more fun. We're having fun. Your car folder's having fun. Wow, Carl. So gaslighting Carl, here we are back with Summer House episode 408. Cold, X's and oh no! Yeah, I love Summer House.

Guys, I love it. I was watching it last night and I was like, this show is so good. It is so good. And I think that one of the reasons why I think I am loving it so much is, I think, some, like, I really think Paige and Hannah and sometimes even when a man does hang out with them and even jewels when the girls are sort of just all hanging out not

so much Lindsay but I mean even she when they're hanging out there's something kind of like so real and relatable about that in a way that's different from when the girls hang out on Vanderpump rules when the girls hang out onrompools, they're like just super evil and basic. And when they hang out on Summer House, I actually kind of feel like they're my friends. Is that so demented to say? That is fucking demented, that's weird. Oh, I'm glad that you feel that

and that you're feeling good. I feel like you're doing this quarantine, getting me. I can't get it. I think you're starting to lose your mind. And it's also like really lowballing your dreams. You know what I mean? I need you to have bigger dreams as my friend partner in life.

No, that's what I'm saying. You have to dream bigger things. Like I want you to dream. Like you know what, when I saw Michelle Obama on TV the other day, telling us to wash our hands, which I don't know that it happened. I'm assuming that it happened at some point. I'm sure she told someone.

Then I want you to be like, I feel like I'm friends with Michelle Obama because then I'd be like, oh my God, let's invite her to pretend lunch, you know? That like the girls or the people of Summer House, no way, no. But here's the thing though, okay. So Michelle Obama, obviously I caught him.

Michelle Obama, like I could see myself seeing around on a commercial and being like, oh, I wish I wish I could be friends with her or I wish I could get invited over. Like that's how I feel about like Ina Garten. And in fact, when there was the episode where Ina Garten went and I was still alive, huh? No, don't say wish. Don't say wish around Ina Garten, because she won't even,

she won't even fulfill a make a wish for a little kid. Ina Garten's really an evil, evil person. So don't say wish around Ina Garten because she won't even she won't even fulfill a make a wish for a little kid I know gardens really an evil evil person, so don't say so good. Oh, yeah All the stories better all the real life stories are so evil, but I love But here's the thing when I see Ina Garten like if I the episode where Ina Garten hung out with Michelle Obama I was like wow, you know, it's like I I aspire to be friend I I was like, wow, you know, it's like I aspire to be friendly. When I see this on, like I'm even jealous of like things that you get, you just happen to watch at home. Like I put on Inaigarten and I get the cast of Mary Poppins.

I was like, I was terrible. Oh, what's terrible. Okay, go ahead. Emily was in her car. She's like, I'm going to go see, you know, gotten, I'm like, you don't even know who Inaigarten is. Emily Blond, don't even try to make it seem like it. Okay. I think that hooker fries some potatoes. I was like, really don't even know who Anagarten is, Emily Blond, don't even try to make it seem like it. I think that Hooker Freysen potatoes, I was like, really, you're making like little fingerling

potatoes. Wow, Barry Poppins. What did she make? I think it, I think it would ever be worse than the episode when there were like these people who spent like thousands of dollars on a silent auction to have Anagarten make them lunch. So she did it on an episode and she made cold lobster salad and even mass eating mess is basically like whipped cream and like berries or something like the most basic and basic basic thing and I was like You know my favorite thing is that when people expect something formal you give them something really casual instead

I'm like they paid like five thousand dollars for this meal. I don't make make make something hot Yeah, I like the I the garden hates humanity. She's like, but you guys this is why I have a garden and only talk to the guy at the butcher shop. Okay, but to be fair, she did have Alec Baldwin and Mariska Hargote on that episode too. So they did get something out of it. But the point is this, those are Mariska Hargote love that. Marissa, I think Mariska Hargote, we watching Ale. I think Mariska Hargote, watching Alec Baldwin and Mariska Hargote assemble Eden Messes was a mood.

But you know, the thing is that I aspire to be friends with Inaigarten, but I know realistically it probably will never happen. But I feel like when I see Page in Hand, it's not like I'm aspiring to be friends with them. I feel like they reflect conversations and vibes that I've had with other friends already, you know? And I think, and the reason why I say that in this episode,

which had like sort of like a Luke bombshell, you know, I feel like the way the women rallied around hand, that was a way that I've seen other, other my friends rallied around other friends in situations like that, you know? So that's what I, I think there was something about that in this crazy quarantine time that I found really comforting. Okay, I'll give you that.

Thank you. Here's what I found not comforting at all and why I don't aspire to be their friend. I don't care about your city terrible relationship and I don't wanna sit here and talk about it all day. Like I'm paying like how many thousands of dollars a day to stay in this gorgeous house in the Hamptons. And I have to hear about you,

like trying to fuck Jordan, you don't even like, you're just trying to give yourself something. I'm like, I don't care, okay? I don't care about you dating some fucking old man who doesn't want to come to the place. Okay, Bethany, Frankl. So you're the, what, you're Bethany, Frankl walking through with a slice of watermelon, like seriously, like, like, I don't care, like, why are you talking about this? Okay, why are you talking about this, huh? Yeah, pretty much. Except I'm fatter and way poorer. God, now, I don't care. Like, why are you talking about this? Okay. Why are you talking about this? Yeah, pretty much. Except I'm fatter and way poorer. God. Now, Bethany, Frank, I don't want to be friends with her. But I would love to be the beneficiary of her

will. Is that a thing that I can get, you know, that's a thing you could be, you could be like Bethany, I'm your long last son, Ronnie. What are you talking about? It's me. Be your son, Ronnie. Don't you remember that time you boned the guy from Game of Thrones who played Various under the bleachers of the horse racing track? Don't you remember? I am the product of that. Okay. Totally have a Brenda Bluff in moment with secrets and lies where breath is like,

no, I don't know what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. And then she looks at the wall and saw just. Oh, I'm going to what you're talking about. I know what you're talking about. And then she looks at the wall and saw it. Just, oh, bang, add. Oh my god. Oh, no, honey, you must be mistaken. Oh my god, I remember. I remember. All right, so anyone hasn't seen that movie, by the way, you should also watch that movie.

So first of all, you get to jail. Oh, you're overdone. It must be on the side. It's the terribly sorry. I mean, I'm wanting you know, I can't be. I can't be. I know. I just really know.

Yeah, we haven't had a breath and breath and breath and breath and breath and breath for a while. I'm crazy today. I'm sorry, everyone. So we got the kind of romance. We got the kind of romance. Hold it live in our hands. of romance holding love in a hands. You're holding love in your hands.

That's a terrible place to hold love. Okay. Yeah, hold hand. Listen, you're gonna have to wash your hands afterwards. All right, we know what's happening. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's the disease. I'm like, ew, get it out of your hands.

I think on this show, they thought they were holding love in their hands, but they were just holding coronavirus. They were like, oh, no idea. Sorry. Mommy, Trixi Monaco just infected love. So Kyle, Kyle's with his mom and Amanda's mom and Earl de Monkey, because they're still trying to make those crazy

antique animals a thing. And like, it is literally never caught on with anyone in the audience ever. So Kyle's like, the moms are coming back to the Hamptons. This is gonna be a good weekend hashtag, Leverboy Levermom. The episode literally nobody is asking for. Like, hey, I hope we get that yearly, bring your mom to the Hampton's episode.

Like, I'm sorry, but nobody is waiting. These ladies seem very nice and everything. And I know I'm extra grouchy today, but you know what I care about less than jewels, fucking that weirdo who can't get it up. Your mom, okay? Seriously. So the moms are in the back of this car. Kyle's in the driver's seat. Amanda gets in and Amanda's mom donnas like, hey, sweetie, how are you? And of course, Amanda goes tired. Now, by the way, public service announcement, you know that whenever anyone says, how are you,

you're never allowed to say tired right even if you're exhausted You just can never say tired. It's a rule. It's a rule. You never ever ever say tired That's the only way we know how to communicate in our family. It's like I'm tired. I'm tired How are you tired? How are you tired? Where are you tired? Well work? Oh? Well really you worked hard to listen to what I did I worked and went to the grocery store Oh really then we have tired fights to see like who's worked harder at being tired you worked hard to listen to what I did. I worked and went to the grocery store. Oh, really? Then we have tired fights to see like who's worked harder at being tired. Oh, that's unacceptable.

The thing is you can get around to saying that you're tired, but if someone says, how are you, you can say, I'm good or I'm all off. But like if you just say tired, like no one knows where to go with that, right? It's a conversation killer. Yeah, but I think it proves like that I'm doing something, you know, like I'm tired. I did things today, even though right now I'm tired. Guess what I'm tired right now. Literally slept until five hours before. I woke up, took notes, went to sleep, read a book,

went to sleep, ate some chips, went to sleep again, ate some more chips in my bed, which I felt like a real rebel, went to sleep again. Guess what? Turns out that makes you tired. So there you go. I'm tired too, man. I'm tired because I've been playing a lot of animal crossing. And picking up fake branches is really hard. Because that's what I do. I dig holes and pick up branches. And I donate things to a museum on my island. That's all.

So then Lindsay and Carl are in the other car and Lindsay is just doing that thing where she's like, I'm just going to act really mad until Carl hugs me and tells me that we're bad fans. But that doesn't work with a man who is completely devoid of any kind of emotion and also really into avoiding your emotions. Okay. It's not gonna work. You can't emotionally blackmail a narcissist. Okay. Yeah. You can't emotionally blackmail someone who is super intent on convincing himself and everyone around himself, everyone around him, that he is like having the best time ever. So he's like

wearing this big giant hat and he's like, so, uh, what do you think about my new hat? Yeah, what do you think about my new hat? I'm that's fantastic. You want to have a heart off? Yeah, you had me at hello. God, I had it to you. Had him a Daniel from Gone with the Wind. I could come up with any. I'm impressed with had him aDaniel from gone with the wind cuz I'm not a hot and Ruth Hats it's a new musical starring Jennifer Hudson the smell streaming. It's called hats hats no one forever I laughed I cried it was better than hats But hats and the furious I did it I did it hats and hats knots hats and the hats knots. The hats and the hats knots.

Hey, Carl, this is how you know that Lindsay is lying when she's not really Carl's friend. Because if Lindsay was a real friend, she would have said, Carl, take that money, you're spending on stupid hats and buy some shorts that aren't white and buy some pants that aren't white jeggings. OK?

Yeah. All those clothes are out of proportion. Hats too big, pants too short or too tight. Like everything's like the wrong thing. You know? That's too numerous. Yeah. So they get to the house.

She's like, oh, new, really? You're just back to me the way that you did last weekend. And then pretend that everything's normal. Yes, actually, that's my plan for going to this weekend. Yes, all the house. last weekend and then pretend that everything's normal. Yes, actually, that's my plan for going to this weekend. Yes, all those. So they get there, they arrive at the house and call like, Oh, I hit the curb. Yeah, you didn't pay attention as usual. Of course, Carl is the type that hits you know, he hits so many curves. He has a curb hitter. Sorry, sorry, sorry about the curb,

Jens, sorry. That is a man who gets a free Lexus at the beginning of the year in exchange for Instagram ads, okay? Don't give people free cars. They're very reckless. It hurts the public when you give people free cars because then the people with a free shit are just like, whoop, sorry, hit a curb. There's sorry. I swaped you in the parking lot, but I'm not really, what do I give this shit? I'm giving this car back at the end of the summer. Exactly. Yeah. If you put his own money into a car, which admittedly would probably just be like a Ugo, you know, then he'd be real careful. Um, so they get to the house and everything go inside and everybody starts arriving. And Luke just walks up to his guitar and his bed like,

Hey, hey there, buddy. Like Luke, stay away from that guitar. Okay. Look to see you old friend. Yeah. Talk about endangering the public. Stay away from that guitar. Look at his old friend. Yeah, talk about endangering the public. Stay away from your guitar star. Guitar run of IRS, please. Yeah, and then Carl, we see him. He's got a roller bet. And he's like, he wants to push his, basically, a way luggage into his door.

He's like, hey, you think I can make it one chakras? You think I can make it? Yeah, I'm going to do it. We're having so much fun right now. And just like, rolls, you think I can make it one chock-os? You think I can make it? Yeah, I'm gonna do it. We're having so much fun right now. And just like, rolls, pushes his luggage across the floor. No one cares what it does. Guess what it does? It hits the door, which makes me believe Carl's

is not pay rent to stay here either and that the show pays for it. Because he obviously has no care for anybody in the world, but himself, okay? Hey, all-bous, I hit the door curb. Yeah. Call the jam, Carl. So then Jordan and Jules was like, oh, look at us.

Wow, I'm back to the same spot as before. Can I have it? Yeah, this reminds me of this one time I was traveling through rural Morocco. And I came upon some nomads. And they actually recognized me because we'd went to high school together Yeah, foreign exchange program and they're like here. Here's a part of the blanket you can sit on

It's where we've kept it for you. It's your spot. So this reminds me of that right now. Isn't that hilarious? And then we had sex It's just like I invited Jordan again Our sex life is weird, but I've got something up my pirates leaves It's an Apple Pay program She's so intense so cross-ex up or Carl tells them surprise it's Carl and Amanda's mother's week Oh, we're gonna get to meet mothers and shows guys I don't know how to react, but I'm hoping that by the time I get to the end of this word, I'll have a suitable reaction.

I'll just say, oh, really long until I decide what to do. Well, you're really going to understand all about Kyle once you meet his mom. And then we get to the car where Amanda's mom was like, wait, so how long did Kyle nurse until how old was he? And his mom was like, oh, he was quiet old. We were having conversations. And some might say he's a natural born sucker. Yeah.

Yeah, it was great. I breastfed him until the time he told me I had to wake up earlier and do a social media. And I said, it was great. You know, I breastfed him until the time he told me I had to wake up earlier and do a social media and I said, that's enough. So I suckled it right off. Yeah. One day he's got my nipple in his mouth and he said, you know what would help if you vacuumed around here a little.

And I said, fuck you kid, you're going to learn to eat fruit rollups like everybody else might got to have neighborhood. Get up and get. So I gave him a turtle and I thought that would solve things, but let a whole other can of worms. Literally a can of worms. He came back with a can of worms and here, mom, this is for you. Thanks for the tits.

It's like breast meat is a partnership. Any man that goes, I hear you. I'm just so far from that. Thank you. So Kyle's being passive aggressive and he's like, well, I was hoping with summer and full swing. We could look at wedding venues, but we didn't really get search going by we. I mean Amanda who apparently this is all Amanda's thing to do because she's got a full time job and is doing work for me and has to do wedding venue stuff.

But I get to go out and party and say that I'm getting lover boy in the bar. So yeah. Maybe if we find the perfect venue Kyle, you know, one that offers like a guacamole station, but how it does have a 10 PM curfew. Maybe we'll just start it earlier. Amanda, not going to have a wedding PM curfew. Maybe we'll just start it earlier. Amanda, I'm not gonna have a wedding attend already in the morning. I didn't see that Kyle. And the moms just look at each other like,

oh no, are terribly boring children who are completely confident in having a decent normal relationship or in trouble. Should we give a shitter to enjoy the one night we have in the Hamptons to relax? I think, yeah. And they all, I look also seem to enjoy the one night we have in the Hamptons to relax? I think yeah and they all that look also seem to say next time we're taking Uber. So uh this is now Carl's FaceTiming Sarah. So Sarah at the end of the last episode was like um you're a fuckboy and I don't appreciate you by but now she seems to have been you know

she's hypnotized back in. So Carl's based timing. Hi, how are you? Yeah, you look great by the way. Look great by the way, which is so that's like so Carl. Like the only time like, I don't know, I'm, I started to get myself very mad very quickly. And I've got a, I like that. I'm just every here watching it like a gunfight. It's just like, it's like he's so cliche.

He's car is so Carl, because you know, every time they get into cars to go somewhere, he always tells one girl, why do I look great? By the way, look great. You look great. Yeah, that's such a, that's such a douchey guy thing to say. It's like, oh, I don't want the lady to be mad at me. Really all women want to know, is that they look good to a man. Right.

I'm a little crushed on you right now. By the way, you great. You're hot. That's that's I let me tell you Let me tell you you're hot. All right. Yeah I'm in a hair pulled back goddamn and by the way, she doesn't either Sarah's and no offense like Sarah looks like she needs to be 12 shot I'm just gonna say that right now. I'm not I'm no doctor I'm the doctor that she looks like she needs some vitamins, okay? So Sarah's like, she's kind of like crinkly, like looking like suspicious, but she's like, Hey, babe, like what do you, what do you, what do you, Hey, baby him, Sarah? Okay.

I'm having a Dana moment with Sarah. Like I had this week with Dana from, I was like, well, who am I having a Dana? Like, Luda Dana from Vanderbump rules. Nor it's like one minute, you're like empowerment. I'm not gonna take this from a douchebag and then the very next week, you're like, okay, well, I do need to be in this scene. So, I'll just let all that go.

I'm totally, totally fine now. Yeah, and Carl, while he's like, sorting with Sarah, he is, you know, poor Carl, poor Carl. He's like, you know, it makes me sad not having a best friend to talk to. It might be sad. I'm like, well, next time don't finger band your best friend and then lead her on to think you're moving into a relationship phase and then just up and ask someone else out

in front of her face. How about that, Carl? So then to show that not just men are a sexist pigs, Hannah's over there showing everybody the video that she made of Luke, where she's like, take off your shirt. Okay, he need to take off your shirt to sell that ring, all right, loser? He's like, I wait. Just take that for sure. Look, I make rings. Look at me at Dichaki and make rings. He rings, rings, it almost works. So, so yeah, so the looking at the video that she made and we learned

that Luke has been texting Hannah and call, like they've been texting and calling like every single day. And Hannah's like really excited for this weekend because, you know, shit's gonna happen, you know, so already we're starting to feel a little weird. And so, but they're like, they're in the kitchen now together and they're getting really close. They're being super flirtatious and Paige is like, I'm going to let you guys have this moment because I feel weird. So bye. You just sort of like leaves. And Jordan's like, I'm so sorry, I got lost for a minute. It's because of Summer House.

So they're all talking outside and Jordan's like really good to be back guys and Hannah's like where's Jules Like what's going on with you two and he's like, you know, it's just it's fun. It's summer. We're dating It's like I told Dakota fanning on the set of Dumbo listen babe Kathy base is coming in five minutes I'm not putting her on the backbone boner for a little twink. Alright, get out of here. Get out of here now. Yeah.

You know what, I'm just not, I'm just, you know what, here's the thing, I'm sexually attracted to her. I mean, like, so sexually attracted, it's out of control. I can't even help it. It's like the time when I met Glenn Close on the set of damages and I said, I'll tell you who's damaged. My heart by you because you've nearly broken it with your devastatingly good looks, Glenn. Anyway, I was sexually attracted to her as I'm sexually attracted to jewels, but you know

what? It's just too much. I can't do it. There's just not a connection there beyond the sexual attraction, which is rampant. So you just don't like, like, want to like kind of not really have sex for anymore? Like, what are you saying? He's like, yeah, well, sex is there. And pages like, um, I think that you should say, hey, look, girl, I like having sex with you, but I don't have an emotional connection. So hit rocks. And yes, I do love that $8,000 ring you bought me for no reason. you, but I don't have an emotional connection. So hit rocks and yes

I do love that $8,000 ring you bought me for no reason and I do look forward to our marriage to get oh I'm sorry that was me that was me. Thanks Perry. Thanks Perry. Yeah Thanks Perry and just so you know Perry. I did find this ring for about $25 at Ross so you could that's just a tip. We'll pro tip for people out there. Sanding off, Peach. So, then upstairs, Luke is talking to Lindsay, and he's like, he's like, yeah, I wonder if I should talk about, when I should tell Hannah about Yelena. We're like Yelena.

Who's Yelena? And we find out that Lindsay and Luke went to dinner after the Hamptons last weekend and Luke brought Luke said he was going to bring his girl and Lindsay thought it was going to be Hannah but instead it was Yolena. Yeah and just Lindsay like trying to wrap her mind around it. Yeah, like he said girls I was expecting Hannah but then this girl Yolena so that but I was expecting Hannah I was like hi Lina, but she's not I don't know and I was expecting Hannah She's like I have really our time because I want to be on team Hannah, but I just really like saying Yolena It's like a really like perfect Lindsay word Yolena

Yolena gonna go straight like saying Yolana. It's like a really like perfect Lindsey word. Yolana. Yolana, I'm gonna go straight for the Yolana. Oh, I'm Luke. The sneaky Luke running in there to try and tell her, don't tell Hannah because I wanna do it in my own way. And she's like, Hi, this is the widest version of Mary de Madison you're ever gonna see.

We're talking about everybody's relationship today. Okay, so. Yeah. Listen, I wanna see it in my own way, I wrote a whole song for the course, the coyotes on Who let your Lena out? Who? So then Jordan brushes his teeth very intensely while he waits for her for jewels to get out of the bathroom. And I think this is a real problem here.

You can't date Amanda's painter the new and expect him to wait outside the bathroom. Okay. It's as simple as that there. Your relationship has solved. Oh, thank you. So the moms show up and the moms are going to share bed and kind of a mandor going to sleep on. They're going to put the couch together and sleep on the couch is very love island.

And Hannah is like in the bathroom and like that we we can sense doom because Hannah's getting her lipstick on. And everything sort of slows down for a nanosecond enough for the producers to be like, oh, she's putting on lipstick, but she's in get screwed. She's in get screwed. And it's like, well, back, back to the fun. So the game goes out to dinner and then the parents are gonna go have a private family dinner.

I was like, Oh my God. Of course. You guys had one chance. You had one chance to make these kids more interesting. Even with the parents here, we have to listen to them talk about their terrible relationship. No. Gus just had a three hour drive all together. Like just why do you need a dinner on top of that?

So with the with the non-parent dinner, so they're all at a table, and I was like, oh, can we go to like Griggus, Osprey, some more to eat for the table, y'all. And then I guess Paige is like ordering a bunch of things and Luke is like, oh Paige, hey, do you feel like you're the CEO of the dinner? And she's like, yeah, fired. And then she just sneers like,

what a stupid joke by Luke, seriously? Like, why is he here seriously? I get furious most the episode's nearing by the way, which I love. Yeah, she hates Luke I get very upset listening to her order is because it's you know, and I say it every week But I really don't like when thin people don't have to make an effort I want to see thin people starving themselves or ordering sea bass or like whatever protein that's on there. I don't like seeing someone who's got a perfect little figure and eight inch long skinny fingers saying, I have the ricotta pillows.

I don't even do ricotta pillows. I think I blocked that out. I was like, I will not accept that. So then over at mom, mom dinner, um, Kyle's mom is like, is there a run planter something? And then Mama bachelor's like, I wanted to key this tequila soda and lime. Right. Give me five line up the fuck up. I'm gonna have to listen to these two losers for the next hour and a half.

So we have one night in the hamptons and we want a party too. So let's do this. So cause mom is like, so you wanna get grilled now, you wanna get grilled later, okay? Because after dinner, it's gonna be breastfeeding time. So let's get this done with, right? Right, Kyle, did you order the battery, Nipple from him? Are you just expecting me to give it to you?

Because we're at dinner. Let me tell you something, Kyle has never been as excited as when he watched Mad Max and they were offering up mothers milk to everyone. Wow, he got excited. Kyle's like the only person rooting for that little kid on Game of Thrones who is still breastfeeding at like 15 years old. Now we know why he liked those BBC breppers for so few seasons ago.

It's like, yeah, milk based cocktail totally into it. They're like, Kyle, you can't just call something B M N. He's like, what? But I remember, Paul, they're like, no, Kyle is too gross. All right, BBC better better. B N N coming to you from the greater of lover boy comes mom's milk. Just his mom be like, so cause like well, we've had some bumps in the road, but we're still trying to get the relationship back to where it was, which was really awful to begin with. So I guess we don't really have that far to go. It's just really hard.

I mean, good. I'm really tired. I mean, I'm tired. I mean, I know, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and then Amanda starts crying. Yeah. And basically, you know, Kyle's like, well, we've been talking about Amanda quitting her job

of five years, her very stable job of five years to come work at my startup because you know, since all the drama has been with us working together, we thought let's double down on that instead of like remove that one variable that's been rooting everything for us. So that's where we're at. And so she's crying. I want to see how's my, I don't know. I'm really, really, really, really, really, I don't know, I really need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need you, I need Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle.

And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. So then over the gang over with the gang, Hannah says, jewels, could you put some lemon on and

jewels says I would love to. I would love that so much. I'd even love it more pay dress me to do that, but I guess maybe she doesn't want to befriend my friends. So Hannah's like, so Lindsay, what did you do this week? She's like, um, I had a lot of work. I had to go to Hobhouse Hobhouse. No, shut up Carl. I had to go to Hobhouse and look at papers. And it was hard.

Well, but didn't you go out? Didn't you go out this week? Check, um, yeah, the soccer player best out of my life. And then they just show Carl's face. And he's like, oh, that soccer player best out of my life. And then they just show Carl's face and he's like, Oh, that's not real life. It's like, well, what about you, what about you, Carl?

How did your day go? And he's like, yeah, yeah, it was good. I mean, she walked out on me and left me with a bill, which was, you know, definitely more expensive than pancakes. But, you know, I'm trying to reestablish my friendship with Lindsay right now. And I like Hania with this person. She's really important to me. So I'm trying to reestablish my friendship with Lindsay right now. And I like how you're with this person. She's really important to me.

So I'm trying to navigate that right now. When he's like so annoyed. Yeah, I'm like, he's like, oh, my boyfriend feelings are me here. And then I have my friendship feelings in me here. And then my last week was the first time someone activated my boyfriend feelings and then activated my friend feelings all at the same time. So I was like double activating.

I was like, I don't know why you're trying to make it activated. It's two sides of me. Two sides of me, which is very rare. Two sides, activate, activate. Whoa. Yeah. Um, so Hannah's like, oh, I think you'll be okay if you like respect each other. Like stop giving advice.

Okay, Hannah, just stop The pages just looking at Lindsey like this old lady is crazy Yeah, she put her in her retirement home. She's crazy and then Jules is like hmm I think that you guys are doing an excellent job for now Jules is just like a very annoying administrator in your office right now. She just comes your comes to your desk. It's you're doing a great job with those expense reports.

But maybe moving forward, we could change everything that you're doing. Okay, because it's not really working out for the rest of the team. Love what you're doing though. Thanks. Yeah, my notes. So then we have to hear how Jules and Jordan are doing. And Jules is like, we're okay. We're having fun. And we're obviously enjoying each other's company, right, Jordan?

And you just see Jordan like, well, I can't just say I'm totally using her to still be on a TV show and to skate paying rent at the same time. So I'm just getting odd Just gonna not and then not get a boner later Exactly so Hannah's like raise your hand if you're single this won't backfire my face at all Raise your hand and everyone like pretty much raises their hand and then Luke does a e Half-and-half like a maybe not sort of hand signal. Everyone's like Half and half like it maybe not sort of hand hand signal. Everyone's like Page and Hannah do like an emergency eye contact. They're like oh my god look at each other right now Yeah, would he? Oh my god. Did you see that? Yeah, would he have even said anything?

But then he didn't get caught by Lindsay He did it on purpose like he invited the would why would he invite this girl out with Lindsay? Do you think he expected Lindsay to call Hannah and tell her so that it could be like drama? I think that he's just like a hot guy who just is used to doing whatever he wants and getting away with it. And he's, I don't think he, I don't think that he's the type that's like, oh, I'm going to force situation.

I have Lindsay broached it. I think he's just like, I'm being totally transparent. That's what I am. I may be hot, but listen, I'm not gonna hide away with what my life is. You know, that's his vibe. Oh, okay. Well, he's like, well, I've been tacking to a girl

a cup for the past couple of weeks. And she was like, um, but you kissed Hannah last weekend. And that puts her kind of on a middle ground, which is unfair to her. And Jordan's like, oh, Jules, where are you grilling him? Stop grilling him. Come on. This reminds me of the time that I went out for a little rendezvous with Annette Benning and things were getting hot and heavy and all of a sudden she started asking me all these questions. Let me tell you something. I had a boner that was standing six feet tall,

and it dropped to the floor at that moment. And to make matters worse, I kicked her into the stomach by accident. She had to go to the ER. What a terrible date. And Luke goes, keep your eye on your own barber. So that was hilarious. So he's like, I started teching to someone else

and it snowballed, you know? And Paige is like, have we just sat together? And he goes, I started teching to someone else and it's snowballed, you know, I'm just like, have you slapped together? And he goes, yeah. And so he's like, well, you know, like I, we met in New York, but I got to figure out. Do I want to be single? Do I want to be with her? Do I want to cut a hole in the middle of a lake and put a stick with a string down on it and just hope for a sea bass? I don't know. I don't know.

I really. I don't know. I'm just a soulful model slash hockey instructor slash true filmmaker who has a lot of the weight of the world on his shoulders, you know. Am I ready for the E chord? I might be. I don't know.

Tame will tell. So he's like, my head is spinning. And Hannah's like, well, if you and this girl are like trying to be something, then I don't like it mean to get involved with this. She's like, Ratchet. Ratchet tears on the inside. So now the moms are back at the house.

Add Kyle's mom is like, we see exactly where Kyle gets all his ornery instincts She's like I cannot stand to have dishes not so getting as she's like doing the dishes like upsetively Yeah, and Amanda's like I'm a 100 count losing out of the we I'm not wearing a I'm like, does I have a loop is what is going on with the map at this point she's like a walking map a matter is basically needs to go to bad at all times Yeah, she's She's in a bad state so then upstairs pages face timing with parish like hey, Perry. This is joules. She's no anyway Luke Luke has a girl on the side. Yeah, it's crazy.

Oh, my God. Right. Hi. So then Hannah and Luke are in the kitchen and she kind of smiles on him like in our flirty way. She's like, I'm in leaves. And he's like, oh, really? Come on.

Seriously. And so Hannah, so Hannah now is like talking with Paige. She so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so, it was like the only way I could relate it is the time that I was in the marshals and I looked down and I saw like a shinole handbag and then I said $12. Are you joking?

I'm just gonna catch me that cheek. I mean, thanks guys for tuning in. Right here, you can't, you can't in our session. I just said to that no longer streaming, Stream no longer live. I ended it. Like and comment below. So then Luke, we just get a shot of Luke putting on some chapstick in the middle of the night. I don't know where Luke thinks he's going, but I think because that guy who's just sitting on his bed with a guitar like if they just play the guitar long enough, surely someone's going to come in and make make out with me.

You need to learn more than two chords and maybe sing better. And also start writing your own lyrics. Might I suggest covers? Yes. Yes. So then over in Jules and Jordan's room, Jordan's already got into bed. He's unlike a preemptive. I'm tucked in bed not having sex tonight.

And Jules is like, um, oh a why are you in bed right now? I'm confused. I thought everything was just great. Everything going wonderful. Can I give you a kiss? He's like, no, I'm exhausted. Not even a kiss, I'm exhausted. Sort of like Miros Orvino,

after she was done with her frenetic Oscar campaign. I'm exhausted. So then in Kyle's room, Kyle's mom's like, Kyle, can you just pee in the toilet? We can just pee in the toilet and put the seat down after. That would be great. He's like, I didn't even pee, mom. So then the moms are talking with themselves, amongst themselves, and they're both concerned. Okay. And then we got a Luke's room. This is where the real concern should be. We got a luxury when he say, love, love makes me high. Love makes me high. Put my head on a ricotta pillow. Hey, wait, you stole that from me. Hey guys, this is paid. I just want you to know that if you want Luke's song, you can get it for cheaper by listening to anyone on the street. Thanks. Talk to you next time.

Hey guys, I really enjoy ricotta pillows, but I just found a new way to get them even more expensive leave it right? Let the guy across from you steal them. Guess who got cheaper ricotta pillows? That guy. Okay, it's not me, but we'll talk next time. Thanks for streaming with me. Bye. So, be well downstairs in the pillow for that Amanda and Kyle are creating. So Kyle brought down all these linens, but I apparently wanted them as a towel. So Amanda just laid it out like a linen and Kyle are creating. So Kyle brought down all these linens, but apparently one of them was a towel, so Amanda just laid it out like a linen and Kyle's like, babe, why the towel? Come on, it's like this when you brought down Kyle,

babe, is there sand in our bed? It's because of what you, the linens you brought down, Kyle, it's not my fault. I'm like, just what we thought they could not have a worse argument. It's about towels and linens on the couch. So the next morning, the mom said, could not have a worse argument. It's about towels and linens on the couch. So the next morning, the mom said, like, I had you sleep, and Amanda's mom was like,

I mean, I think I heard Luke playing his guitar. And then Kyle's mom goes, I can't imagine that he's just sitting there playing his guitar by himself. Yeah, that it cuts to him lying on bed being like shadows from my past. I'll chase him me down if I look around. Yeah. So then Lindsay calls her new boyfriend or whatever. And then Hannah and Paige are talking about. And Hannah's like, Luke just texted me like, Hey, Hannah, want to go, um, go rip on the bike. I want to go rip. Take a part on the bike. What? Yeah, I was thinking who says that?

I want to go rip on the bike. Go for, he want to go for a rip on the bike. And then Paige is like, no, please don't text my friend, okay? Please don't do that. He wants his cake and the eat it too. He's like, I'm no one's cake, okay? The only cake I want is my own. That's in my face that I'm already eating. Okay, it's called Hannah Entomans and I like it. It's delicious. Um, so we're done with him, right? And then he pops us at him. He's like, you want to wear that when we ride? Come on. Where to come rip? I just like, why do you want to go to the ride with me?

If I were your girl, I wouldn't want you to be riding with a girl you've been kissing. Oh, really? I don't really understand that. So I'm just going to stay in San here and look hot. So go for it. Right? Just like, rip. Don't talk to me. We're over you.

They cut, they cut their shot of page where her eyes are going to let. She's like, she's like, I cannot move my eyes left and right enough to show how annoyed I am by Luke right now. Not fast enough. Then we see Amanda pacing around. Guess what she's doing? She's like, I'm tired. Yeah.

Yeah, Kyle's like, yeah, mom, when you're around, I'm not so inclined to party, uh, which is a lie, I believe because I seem to remember seeing lots of footage of Kyle being in his family reunion every single season, getting wasted with his parents. Yeah. So the moms were talking to their kids privately and Kyle's mom's like, yeah, right with that conversation last night, Kyle, you didn't, you didn't come in for dessert. So I just wanted to make sure you're not mad at me. And he's like, I'm not gonna try sugar coat things, mom. So, uh, you all have to put that shirt, mom. We're gonna let me get some of that sweet

belt, mom. No, Kyle. I don't think that man to know is that if you sleep the nine, like who's waking up with the kids, like you are Kyle, you are Kyle. Yeah, because they would probably be your kids too. I mean, I'm guessing. Yes. And his mom's like, you know, I'm feeling some tension here. You think Kyle's mom. Oh, wait, no, I thought I was feeling tension is just you were just trying to suckle me again.

Get off of Kyle. There's nothing in there. And then Amanda's like, Well, it's just a weird bone for us, right now that timing is we're working really hard. And it's like there's no camping graphic design is. So. A lot of football. It's like just go to bed because someone just get a man to a fucking pillow already.

I know. So Kyle's like, well, we're 10 months into this engagement and nothing has changed. She has not become the different person that I want her to be. And Kyle's mom is like, well, you have to marry who the person is, okay? Have you reached a point where you say,

oh my God, this is not gonna work as let me take you something we all have. Man, this mom and I were like, this isn't gonna work. It's hilarious watching our kids do this. Oh, man. Oh, thank God this isn't going to work. It's hilarious watching our kid do this. Oh, man. Oh, thank God. We don't have to pay for this wedding that'll never happen. I like that both of mom's advice was, hi, you need to do something about yourself. Okay. Yeah.

Because mom was like, you can't just complain about what she won't do. That's the kind of person she is. If you don't like the fact that she's tired and doesn't want to work 20 hours today and get up at 5 a.m., then marry somebody else because that's what she does. And Amanda's mom is like, well, I mean, if you're going to work through this and you have to work through it, you can't just like not resolve things, you know? It's nice. And Kyle's like, I know, I have to work on my toe and in my communications. And his mom's like, yeah, I call it your asshole tone, parking my French.

As in, you sound like an asshole most of the time. I mean, I love you because you're my kid, so I'm biologically expected by society to love you. But no one else really has to love you, you know. Just think about the shit that comes out of your mouth once in a while. Yeah. Um, so don't give up, I love. Trixi Monaco.

And then Carl, Luke and Lindsay are in the kitchen. And Lindsay's still like moping around trying to get some attention from Carl, and he won't give it to her. And so he's like, oh, Luke, maybe you should take out the trash. Hey, hey, Luke, can you actually take that out? Clutch, clutch, that's so clutch, thanks. Hey, here's a fresh one, my name's Q.

We fill that back, we fill that back refill that garbage thing. You want? I'm showing you a fraction. This is what best friends do for each other. They take hefty bags. Okay. Great. Thanks. Just having fun. I think I have some mom comes in here and she's like, what are your plans everybody? And this is like, oh, I've got the plan alive in my apartment. We're in two years. I'm burning around my mouth. two years, I'm burning around on my nose. Ah. And her mom's like, oh really? I still got a plant living from when I was

fecking one of my boyfriends in college. Yeah, that's right. It's called Kyle. Okay, here he is. I watered him. And now he's making everyone's life hell. So then Jules is with the girls. She's like, hey girls.

Oh my God, now that we're best friends because we had Ricotta Pellows last night, let me show you what my idea is for Jordan. Okay, so I don't know if you guys know this. He likes to get choked, all right? So he likes getting choked, he likes getting kinky, he likes getting handcuffed, he sometimes I suspect he might like getting pegged, not sure yet. But let's just focus on the auto erotic fixation. Am I right, everyone? You just see Hannah's face like, uh, don't want to be here for this conversation. Yeah, really. And he's like horrified. And he's like, so here's the plan for his birthday. I'm

going to choke him. Then I'm going to handcuff him to the door with these fuzzy handcuffs, then I'm gonna take all of his clothes Then I'm just gonna walk off Yeah, and then he's gonna be so aroused and I'm gonna tell him all about how my grandfather started Chilean Cincinnati So finally someone will hear the story. I think after that. We'll just see where it goes If gold star chili doesn't give you a boner. I don't know what else I can do If Gold Star Chilly doesn't give you a boner, I don't know what else I can do. I'm actually going to put some Gold Star Chilly on my boobs and have them like it off. I think I'm going to be so kinky he's going to love it. So now Jules is standing outside of the bathroom waiting for Jordan to get ready

and she's just swinging her purse like a big tic-tock, like thing. Practicing her dominatrix moves. So now it's time for the mom to leave, which means that we get a little bit more of, you know, we didn't really get Carl mom Carl, because when the way Carl acts around moms is very specific and we see it every season, he normally becomes like best little boy in the world. He's like, oh, hey, we know I'm this mom, mom.

This is so great. You're a great mom. But we finally got a little bit of it. He like goes up to the mom. He's like, all right, one more hug, one more hug for the bros. Yeah, it's great. Southerners for the hugs.

Yeah, great seeing you. And Carlos mom's like, car all good, like Salon lover boy, ever when he has countenon, you know, Carl. He's like, oh, good luck with that. You'll scan, get in the car. Yeah, we're not talking about jobs right now. I have to reach my quota. So, uh, now they all go off to a winery and looks like, whoa, this is my first winery I've ever been to. I don't even know what a winery is. Does it

involve growing hockey pucks off of trees? Could that be great? So, uh So they bring over some cheese and crackers and the guys like, here's a wine with the buttery finish. Um, which I find, wait, don't just, sorry, what I skip, what I skip. You can't just gloss over the fact that here they are at a vineyard in the Hamptons. And this guy puts out a fucking cheese and cracker plate from the supermarket. You know, that is what it looked like,

but I was waiting for you to say something, because I didn't know. I was like, maybe they do that in the Hamptons. Like, maybe it's like an outdoor thing, so they put them on plastic trays and just wrapped them so that they can't get them. No, I was furious. I paused, and I looked at it. I was like, no, they just took the plastic off the top.

It's like the little square pieces of cheese and the little like rich crackers and everything. I'm like, how do you have a video? Vineyards are like, I feel like one of the joys of working at a vineyard is putting together a very bougie little cheese tray, right? You have like nice little slate, something another or a wood block.

And you put the little crackers here and a little thing of like honey there and that, you know, but you're just gonna put down a supermarket, display of a cheese and crackers, unacceptable. In the Hamptons. About, I would expect it in Temecula, but not in the Hamptons. Yeah, I didn't really know what to think,

because I'm more of a Tito's in the backseat, kind of a person, so I was like, oh, I don't got it. to think some more of the T-dos in the backseat kind of a person So I was like, I don't get it But then Lindsay and then another thing I didn't get Lindsay goes Because of where it goes. Okay, enjoy this wine with the buttery finish and Lindsay goes Thank you. God. I love all the inside drama the wineries What are you talking about What are you talking about?

Did the winery guy just say something dirt like what what are you talking? What are we missing in this scene? So across like oh, I think this all the hey girls I think all the girls look fantastic. I just want to say all the girls look fantastic I'm a woman. So yeah. So Luke gives Hannah a menu and Hannah's like, thank you Luke, that's so nice of you. Well, you know what Hannah? I mean, nice guy and Paige is just like, I know I'm wearing glasses as if I'm going

to a 3D movie right now, but I'm still glaring at you right now, do them. I'm like glaring at Luke and 3D right now So Amanda's like I am my mom here last night so I need an encounter on the drama time And turns like well, I just slept. I slept 12 hours. It was really amazing It's like when Charlize Theron said want to sit on me for a little while stud and I said no things the rone said, want to sit on me for a little while, stud? And I said, no, thanks. I've got a thing with Chuck from the goonies. Then he stuck it in my ear. I've never come so hard.

Wow, I haven't been this relaxed. It's the time the Ellen person I went to a spa, no high California. Talk about, oh, hi, we got there. I fucked her in her elbow. She was never so aroused. She was so consumed with passion that she thought the window broke three bones. What a night. I guess it wasn't relaxing after all. So looks like we went out and Hannah's like oh rewind maybe rewind a little bit and he's like I wait, well look you said you're single. And I, you know, I went like this and I mean, some talking to someone. So like, look, I'm just trained to be honest. And Amanda's like, um, honesty doesn't always make things right.

And then Carl does that thing's like, oh, what's wrong with I? What's wrong with that? I'm just trying, you know, why can't we just be honest, which is, of course, Carl is going to defend that because Carl uses the guys of honesty to try to do whatever he wants. Like, I'm just about it. I'm just trying, you know, why can't we just be honest, which is, of course, Carl is going to defend that because Carl He is the guys of honesty to try to do whatever he wants. Like I'm just being honest. That's just what I want. I want this I'm just trying to be like pay more attention to me right now, you know, I just really like to. So Luke and Hanukkah talking the field and looks like look, I need to know where you're at because like today

I said you want to go rip when I'm the motorcyclist. I Know you when they do rip when come on. I know you had it. It was just on the motorcycle? I know you wanted to rip one. Come on, I know you had to. It was just sort of weird because I'm a male model. So why didn't you want to come on my motorcycle with me, you know? And it's like, why did you want to go on there with me? It's like, because it's fun, rip it wet. And she's like, but look, listen, I'm going to be honest.

Like, I've wanted to come here all week, play tennis mostly, but also make out with you and kiss you. I've been thinking about it all week, but I'm not gonna be that girl in between other girl and you. That's not who I am. Well, listen, if it makes you feel any better, Jelena and I aren't even that serious. It's Jelena. That's your own girl. Oh any better, Jelena and I aren't even that serious, okay? It's Jelena, that's your own girl.

Oh, sorry, Jelena, you know, like we had a conversation, like are we sleeping with other people? And I said, no, I'm not. I want to be extremely exclusive with you. So it's not that serious, you know? She's like, oh, okay, I see you chose to be exclusive.

No, no, well, Adam Singh is. She said, you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I said, yes, that would be great. Oh, right, it's your exclusive. No, I, well, Adam Singh is, she said, do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend? I said, yes, that would be great. Oh, right, it's your exclusive. No, I'm just saying, she said, do you want to inseminate me and see if the baby grows? And they said, hey, why not? You know, let's give it a go.

You know, it's super casual, you know, she said, okay, by dating me, do you see this a future potentially? You know, I really want to settle down, have a family. And I said, I'm into all of that. The sooner the better, I want three kids by tomorrow. So it's pretty easy. It's very casual, easy going, Hannah. So it's like, all right, just commit to that.

Do it. I'm going to be making memes about this failed relationship for about nine months. So I find. And, and, and, and it's like, why are you trying to commit me to something? Why I'm just like a male model who rides and motorcycles and this is jewelry and comes up with, you know, songs on guitars, you know, and she's like, uh, you're not single. Okay, you're not single. Okay, calling off all flirty and kissing, flirty and kissing is over. It's like,

but all we do is banter. That's us. This is us. You ever see that show? This is us. That's like us, I'm like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just to cry. She's like, but this feels like a fucked up try love triangle and I do not want to be part of it. I want to be part of a non fucked up triangle with Agent Perry. Like, at least I have the option of getting a really pretty ring out of that one. But you know what? I've been flirting with you all summer while you were with Armand. So, and you had a boyfriend then. So basically, you're where I was. Okay. So it's not really. And if that's what you're trying to do, nice try, Dick, because the fucking guys, I all think the same. Because, come back at the table, cast like, they're in the same situation. How they're not seeing eye to eye is blowing my mind.

It's not, it's not the same because Hannah and Armon's situation was like public and known and like fully wear it. Well, yes, they're like Hannah and Luke are not exclusive. And I think it's like they can date other people and stuff and play around. But I think it's weird when he that he is like, oh, there's another girl that I'm actively sleeping with and we're like, had conversations

where we're not gonna sleep with other people. That's like, that's average. I just took her out and once they could we gonna try this and I'm like, yeah, let's try this. Like, what do these guys not understand? It's like every guy on summer house, you know? Also, Amanda was already together with Armand. Or Hannah was already together with Armand when she met you

This is you going out with someone else right after you were trying to boo Hannah. What the fuck? It's not the same thing and Hannah also Would not act on anything while while she thought that Arm she and Armand were on a path towards something And then when she found out that Armand thought it was something casual then she next it was like, okay I'm open to this now. But it's yeah. Yeah. So Amanda's like, but she was a little blindsided by him not being single and paid just like, yeah, usually when you're all about to have a girlfriend, you're not seeing someone else. Are my 3D glasses can being this point strongly enough because I am furious behind them. I'm furious at everything except at how cheaply I got these glasses 10.99 at a gas station.

Thank you. Well, he's in a weird spot. I'm here. I've been there. I got it. It's a gray area. It's a gray area. Oh, what a shocker.

I can't believe Carl has been in the same situation. What a gray area. That's a gray area. Oh, what a shocker. I can't believe Carl's been in the same situation. What a shocker. And he's like, um, I think that we're not talking about me. So let me just say that Hannah and I are in a little bit of a parallel situation because Carlito is doing the exact same thing to me right now. And you just see Carl's face like, oh. No, it's here to talk about you, Lindsay.

This isn't about you, Lindsey. So then the waiter comes over and pours and crawls a little sovy. Sovy be. So we're back to Hannah. She's like, going forward, let's not flirt. He's like, well, I'm going to have a hard time not flirting with you. You know, she's like, well, you should talk to your girl about that because that's an issue. He's like, but can we enjoy this summer? Oh, I'm enjoying the summer, just not with you. He's like, oh, like you could see like, he's like, I don't understand why this is happening

to me a male model. These things don't happen to male models. And I really like Hannah Handel's this because she's just like, okay, well, blue ball in myself for that loser. That didn't work out. I'm fucking so many people now. Fuck that guy. And not, you know, like, make not letting it like ruin everything, you know. I'm like, this is like, fuck that weirdo. And that's what I'm talking about. There was something very relatable about like the response to it and the way she and Paige all reacted, I just loved it.

I loved it. Yeah. So let's see. So the one that comes back and he's like, guys, tell me you love Rosé. So Luke and Hannah go back to the table and it's like, okay, emergency girl walk, emergency girl walk. So Hannah and Amanda and Paige walk off to like chat about the situation, everything. But then the guys are back there and Carl's like, Luke, hey Luke, you're a good guy.

You're a good guy. Yeah. I mean, I know I tried to like, be you up at the batting cages and everything, but no, you're down on your luck. You're a good guy. You're a guy. I know I was calling you a fifth bench scooter squirrel last week But frankly, I just looked up hockey terms and that's kind of all I did But you know that good guy fifth bench. All right. You look good by a seventh bench. Look. I don't even know So Paige is like um Kaelin Caroller always jumping in the weekend when a guy does something wrong But it's like yeah, bro. You're because the thing are zinger it's a wrong bandwagon okay and shut up Alexa nobody's talking to you what is bandwagon one of her cues this is every day now with you it's just Alexa you be quiet ma'am stop that Alexa is such a summer house cast member. Um, were you guys talking?

Can I say something about this? I have opinions about it. Okay. Hi, would you like me to look up something for Luke? No, Alexa, we're so overlook right now. I know. She's like, I have just gone through a very similar situation with Carl, who is making me feel sandbagged and like I am on a fifth bench.

I'm just trying to get back to my friendship with Carl right now. Things are going well with me and Carl, but then he and asked out Siri right in front of my face. Yeah, so Hannah's just calm about it. She's like, well, I just said like, you know, like respect me. I want to be friends with whatever. And page is like, ah, amazing. You crushed that.

Is it? You crushed it. Amazing. And best part, it was free. It was free. So thanks everyone, have a great week. We're still here, Paige. So then Amanda, Hannah's like,

we should just go out with just the three of us tonight. And Amanda's like, but I'm singing with Kyle because like, we need to work on our foundation. And then if we work on our foundation, then we'll be good. No, you need to go out and have fun. Okay, you spend enough damn time with Carl. You're stuck at home with Carl five, I mean, Kyle five nights a week.

Get out. Yeah, get out of the house. And the girls wanted to go out and they're like, I mean, they're joking about like, why can't they all like get married or whatever together? And I mean, it's like, is there such a thing as sister wives without a husband and pages like, yeah, let's me else.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So then back home, they're all drinking some more back at home, of course. And Amanda's like, you're gonna have me now, come on, my mom is gone. And that's where he's like pumping her legs. And then Carl gets a call while Lindsay's in the kitchen. And he's like, oh, hi, you look beautiful.

By the way, it look great. By the way, look great, even though I can't see you. You look beautiful, Sarah. Sarah, you look beautiful, Sarah. Hey, Sarah, you look beautiful. Hey, Sarah, your eyes are pretty. I love the way you Hey Sarah. You look beautiful. Hey, sir. Your eyes are pretty I love the way you hit your touch screen right there. That was great. You really touch it nicely Hey, what do you think about my new hat? Yeah, it's really cool. The brim is actually five times the length of my like it's amazing

He is like you look amazing and she's like um, I just struck out And once he goes you fucking puss and leaves the kitchen and Lindsay goes, you fucking pussy! and leaves the kitchen. haha so Sarah's like, so what are you doing this week? well my schedule says, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah,

launched Sarah, Sarah, by the way look great, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. that's like, that's like, this is Carl's birthday, wanna come and then we just see Lindsay crying in the bathroom. she's like, ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! Dorothy won a comb and we just see Lindsay crying in the bathroom. She's like, Oh, oh,

oh, okay. So then Jordan comes out of the bathroom and she was like, your birthday is Monday, Brian. I have champagne and I thought we could have a little fun. And she pulls out the Harry, uh, the Harry coughs or whatever. Yeah and he's like sitting on a chair or something and he's like no no you're not listening to me. I mean you're like a regular civil shepherd these days just listen to me listen to me for once. I am listening to you but you know what can I give you a kiss for a second? I was like no no no means no all right.

I was like, no, no, no means no. All right. Sigourney Weaver, get away from me. Sorry. So he freaks out. Why is he freaking out? I think Jordi comes in here with plans. And then they're like foiled. He wants to have this big relationship thing with Jules.

Like fight or something with Jules to dump her. And it's not working. So now he's going to fight with her because she's trying to kiss him. Well, I think that basically he pushes girls away because he is like embarrassed about his whatever his erectile dysfunction. Whatever that situation is He's embarrassed by it and it's easier to push someone away and like not have to find himself in that situation on national TV then you know, you haven't done it every weekend.

So it doesn't seem to be a problem. This point Jordan, we don't even mind now. Like it would be disappointing if you did get it up. Yeah, he's been the one putting himself in that position. So it's so weird. I don't know what he's doing. So now I guess he's mad that she's trying to make out in my account cuff him.

So he like storms out of there. And she's like, oh my God, fuck you then. I'm drinking this champagne alone. Just kidding. I'm going to see if page once. I'm going to offer to everyone except for Amanda who still wants me to burn in the building. So then she goes off and look in search of the girls. And meanwhile, Carl is roving around in his like big bird way, I'd be like, Hey Lindsey, hey Lindsey, Hey Lindsey, Hey, Lindsey, Lindsey.

So while he's searching around, Jules goes and finds the girls and starts talking about Jordan and at it, but we're getting like half and half, we're getting like Jules talking about the girls about Jordan and Jordan talking to the bros about Jules. Yeah. And so like, can I talk to the girls alone and Kyle's like, oh, and then Jordan's like, can I talk to you alone, bro?

Yeah, like everybody has to like talk about their fucking relationship all the time. No one cares, you don't have a relationship, okay? Yeah, exactly. So he's like, listen, I'm sexually attracted to her. It's like that time I had that tour to fare with Catherine de Nive on a flart of mall. We met at KB store and I said, you, ma'am, are gorgeous. We went to the back of the store and had sex on our shoulder. But unfortunately, I knocked over a bunch of GI Joe's on her face and she had to go to the hospital

because she choked on one. Anyway, I'm sexually attracted to her, but unfortunately I knocked over a bunch of GI Joe's on her face and she had to go to the hospital because she choked on one. Anyway, I'm sexually attracted to her, but I'm just not compatible with her and this whole thing just feels superficial. She's not the one, I'm not gonna marry her. And then what's her buttons is outside like, oh my god, I couldn't even put handcuffs on him. And pages like, I feel like this is a slight betrayal of my friendship with Jordan. But if I find a cheaper price down the street,

that's where I'm going. Sorry Ross, meet my friend Marshall, okay? Girl code is strong. So Jordan came up to us and he's like, he's not feeling it with jewels anymore and I'm like, why aren't you having this conversation with jewels, just kidding. I love hearing it.

It's gonna be so fun to break her heart and watch her cry. Watch her try and cry off the mascara that she stole from me and see if it's really his waterproof. They say So meanwhile upstairs Lindsey calls Anne round I was like, hey, I'm crying and no one's being attention to me Because like jewel somehow is having a scene right now like And he was like you sound terrible. What's going on? And he always like you sound terrible what's going on? Oh, I just hate it and I lost my best friend. I feel like crazy.

Oh, hop house, hop house, hop house, hop house. Let me call, let me call. Are you talking to AR? AR, it's coral. Coral, Coral to AR. AR to Coral, Coral to AR. Um, do you want to speak to me? Do you want to check in on me as a fucking friend or not?

And At Ronda's like you are both good friends get back to being friends. Those are friends are four friends come on Hey, oh, hey, oh, it's Carlito here. It's Carlito. Carlito to A.R. Hey, I are So then the girls go into the living room and Jordan sitting there talking to Kyle, like trying to be all dramatic and pay to guess why the long face is is jewels. Why? How about we all have a seat? I like pages like about to solve the murder mystery dinner. You know, it's like, shall we all have a seat?

She has like a pipe and like one of those, I forgot those hats, the detective hats, the flaps on the side, they have a name. I just had to pop this for, they're called something, they're just in a crossword puzzle, I had to look it up. I'm too stupid for this, so you're on your own buddy. So anyway, Jules is like, Jordan, the girls told me you have something to tell

me and Jordan's like, everything's fine. And then Paige goes, eh. And Jules is like, I wanted you to open up to me about how you are feeling. And he's like, well, obviously not good after what just happened. What? What happened? Jordan. She tried to give you a chance. Yeah, some girls write a fuck you on your birthday.

Come on. Kyle's like, ah, you did tell her that you bring her back to mom. So he's like, well, I want to bring all these women back to my mother. It'd be a wonderful potluck dinner. Don't you agree, everyone? And they're like, boo, basically everybody just

boosts in. And Kyle's like, what? And he's him mustache their necklace She's picking your mustache up here like Order order in the court Joes goes how do you feel about me and how did I go Jordan please respond He's like um well you go to he's like well Everything's fine.

And she's like, um, you went to them and said, you're not feeling me. You are sleeping in my bed. And he's like, fine then. I'll move my stuff down here in the living room. How about you get the fuck out of the house, sir? You're not being rent and you haven't put out. Get out.

Yeah, put out or get out, right? Yeah. Is she done? She has not. Jules still has the floor, which is amazing because it's basically me having the floor because she's bringing home my clothes. Um, do you know what I say? You can fucking go. He's like, fine, I'm going to pack all my shit and I'm going to move to the couch, like to the couch. Yeah, get out of this house. Um, so Jules do it now and then he storms out while he's smiling like he doesn't have to try and get it up for a night and Hannah's like Jules

You did great. That was really great And let's be honest the sex couldn't have been that amazing They'll start cracking up Send upstairs. Oh wait first Luke Luke is laughing in Hannah. He's like yeah yeah, Hannah, good one. And Paige goes, don't look over here, bra. Spin it. Do you need me to put on my 3D glasses again? Because I can do that. So Carl is like upstairs.

I was like, oh, how about us? How can Carlito support you? How can I support you right now? She's like, learn to be a fucking good friend for one's car. Carl, Carl, are you face timing Sarah? Well, I'm talking to you Carl. Carlito. Seriously.

By the way, you look great. Thank you, Carl. I'm sorry. I was talking to Sarah. Carlito. Let's see. Uh, I'll open it. See, she's my best friend.

I will literally do anything possible to make her feel better right now. I was just kidding. I'm going to go mastermate. So it comes back. And by the way, by the way, he's like, oh, is there anything I could do to make you feel okay? And it just got a Lindsay blowing her nose like 10, sits where it walks back in while the girls are still in the living room. And he takes the, the fuzzy handcuffs and he's like, well, it's back in while the girls are still in the living room and he

takes the fuzzy handcuffs and he's like, I dropped some monor lap and Paige is like, okay, next on the docket, we should go out. Yeah, because she's Paige is drunk by now. She's had a thimble of like vodka and she's like, I'm wasting my own. So she's like, we have to go out. Oh, and Mandy goes, I'm going to go to bed. So of course you are a man. Of course.

So then Lindsay is wasted now too, right? So Carl comes into the kitchen on the way out and he's like, Oh, hey, how about Lensito burrito, Kuchito for retail. And she's like, Oh, yeah, well, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, you're a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I my god, don't touch you. And like, you love the fucking conversation. Oh my god. She just is incapable of opening up these mission tortillas. And then they just all leave her in the kitchen crying with tortillas. Lintin, you might have a drinking problem.

I'm just saying, OK? I'm not saying alcoholic. I'm not saying anything like that. But maybe you should start drinking a little less, because you're better saying at this point. And you're my friend. I need a best brand. Maybe I'll go.

Everett. Everett. Oh, good. So, um, so now everyone goes out and parties like party time, party time, party time, party time, party time. And then now it's like, then, not, not they're back. And Jordan is just like lying on the couch bed or whatever and Amanda and Kyler in their bed. I mean it's like bane hold my hand I love you so much I'm tired

dang it yeah I wonder what happened with them it's like that mom trip really helped them because now they're like totally in love again whatever well Kyle Kyle got to take away he's like my take way my take away is I have to be loving and empathetic. I'm like, wow, who would have thought that in a relationship you have to be empathetic and loving? Yeah. So then Luke and Hannah in the kitchen

looks like I'm still drunk and they eat some pizza and he's like, you went to in bacon? She goes, I don't want your bacon. I'm going to sleep. Bacon rejection is the coldest. So then the next morning, yeah, next morning, an hour and 12 minutes, just look, I was like, I'm tired. Why are we still talking about summer? There's a lot that happened in this. Really? Yeah, yeah, Jones, yeah, sorry.

Totally up. So it's the next morning and the jewels is talking to, she's saying, she's like, you know, I've never going to give, I'm sorry, make it stop. So it's the next morning and Jules is talking to, she's saying, she's like, you know, I'm never gonna give, I'm never gonna blame myself for giving someone like Jordan a very sad, strange, scarecrow of a person the benefit of the doubt, but I do feel like an idiot.

So that's where I'm at right now this morning. Yeah. And then Jordan's like, what should I do about this? That couch was quite uncomfortable. Because like, uh, you and tools, like, got to find a way to chat, because chats really help. Like last night I was chatting with Lindsay and last thing I saw, she had my scar running down her face, not running down her nose, as still didn't have tortillas open. So that worked out great. But I did tell her she looked great. I said, by the way, it looked great. So she really lives for us beyond a she's a girl. So yeah, look great.

So then Hannah's telling telling someone that she's set boundaries with Luke, but she just also can't help but stare at his lips. I think she's telling Lindsay. Yeah. Which is like a little bit of a red flag. It makes me feel like, okay, she's had the boundaries, but like next week, she's gonna Lindsay. Yeah. Which is like a little bit of a red flag. It makes me feel like, okay, she said the boundaries, but like next week, she's gonna be like, sweating Luke again. I kind of feel like that's what they were setting up. Yeah.

So then Carl is in the pool and Lindsay comes out like moping around and he's like, oh, how about? Whoa, whoa, whoa, talk. And she's like, what is it in the chain? Which is a paramount because he has to get out of the pool. So she sits with him and say, Ellen, I mean, I'm on a lot better than I am. I'm like, I was so I'm only yesterday.

I mean, trust me, trust me. I wanted to be there with you. I wanted to be there with you. I really don't. But I couldn't because there was something happening downstairs. I think someone was talking about maybe playing music. So I was like, I had to be there too. So basically, she's like, I don't need the comfort of you being my best friend.

And so he starts just saying all these canned things. Like, you mean so much to me. Like, I want to find this path to finding a friendship. You know, I have to meet my friendship quota. And you're part of that. So I want you to put your much to me. I want to find this path to finding a friendship. I have to meet my friendship quota and you're part of that. I want you to put your weight on me and then at the end of the day, I like sir or two and I'm just being honest. That's what I am. I'm going to have our come out next weekend. That's where I'm at. Then she's like, well, I'm happy we explored this because I'm never going to meet with Carl and I feel so much better now. Why do you feel better now? Yeah, and then music was like all happy enough lifting. I'm like, did we just wrap up this storyline? What happened?

Yeah, that would be nice, but what nothing happened. Oh, I don't want you the same shit. He's been telling you. I Know I don't want the storyline to be wrapped up because I like Lindsay being just totally crazy and Carl trying to, you know, act like everything is fine. But it sounds like it is kind of, they put like a little bow on it. And did you notice her hat? It says, I am Rosé. Oh, God. Oh, God.

All right, everybody. Well, that brings us to the end of summer house. Thank you all for listening and watching. Yeah. We'll be back tomorrow with a very special episode of Real Housewives Beverly Hills. Okay, we're going to do a preview episode for that. We're going to do a scene by scene breakdown of the preview. Normally, we do that on our Patreon bonus, but we figured we'll let you see what that's

all about. And then next week on Patreon bonus, we're going to do. Oh, episode two. On the bonus? I don't know. Or no, I don't know. We're doing it Monday. We're recording it Monday. We're gonna see. It's either gonna be on the bonus or on Monday's show.

It depends which is better. Top Chef or Atlanta. Oh yes, that's right. I'm sorry. I got my sketch will make stop. It's okay. You know what, the world is upside down right now. Anything can happen. Yeah, my bad

Okay, everybody. Levia will talk to you next time. Bye Hey, prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. survey at 1dry.com slash survey.