Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Loverbaby

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

This week on Summer House, Kyle angles for a prenup... or does he? Plus, a florist cancels, which means a drunken rage-out at dinner.Watch a very special Ben and Ronnie IN PERSON Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/65342655See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been watching you watch what crap is, watch what crap is, kids what, have been what this all, have been, watch what crap is, what what new ones are crap, kids what, have been what this all, watch what crap is, hi everybody welcome to watch what crap is, the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. On yo brows!

Hi! I'm Ronnie, that's been, look! Hey, what's going on, how are you? Good, we're still here together in the same house. Yeah, just great. Because I'm here in Austin because we're doing a show in Austin tonight, so now Ronnie and I are here recording side by side and we're also doing crap is on demand, so you see us, we're looking like Edith and Archie Bunker side by side and we're also doing crap on demand so you see us we're looking like Edith and Archie Bunker side by side.

Oh, welcome everybody to watch what crap ends today is summer house today. We're very excited. Kyle not fun. No not, not fun. Oh, Kyle, always fun. I don't want to burden you guys with my problems. This fucking windant you burden us with your problems. That's what the show is, is you burdening us with your problems. Literally every single episode, right? So before we get into summer house, though, just a reminder. So we already talked about it's night.

We do have a show in Austin Austin part of the Moon Tower comedy festival So if you're in the area definitely come to our show tonight But also like by a pass for the whole thing because there's like literally huge hilarious famous comedians All performing so you don't just get us you get lots of others He'll get Damon coffee and David David Spane and others and such. But then tomorrow we go to Houston and then the grand finale of our big magical mystery tour, the Honky Dory 10-year anniversary tour concludes on Thursday in Dallas, Texas. We always have a rowdy Dallas, Texas crowd.

We broke the single night bar record at the Texas Theater. That is like your Oscar. That is my Oscar. I tell that story wherever I can go. We broke that theater. That is your fucking Pulitzer prize. That theater is like 90 years old. They arrested Lee Harvey Oswald there. It's part of American history and we sold the most drinks ever there. So we know our Dallas crowd can be a lot of fun and we're looking forward to ending the tour with the bag out there. We're looking forward to getting our dick sucked yeah I don't know. I know when the boys that don't it. So welcome to SummerHout. Oh this is also a very special date because this is the last day you have to listen

to us showing these live shows. This is it. This is the last day of live show announcements for this round until the next round so thanks to everybody for you have to listen to us shilling these live shows. This is it. This is the last day of live show announcements for this round until the next round. So thanks to everybody for supporting us and being around. Also, you said it's on video. Also our other video this week is Top Chef and it's unhinged.

It's like you're the two hours long of us. Like, yeah, Gales, a dinosaur. Go by that one. And thanks for the support and everything. Our bonuses on Patreon this week will be road trip bonuses. We're going to be doing a lot of drive. And so join us for those. Oh, wait, what I do want to say one other thing that our show tonight at Austin is the seat we're recapping the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County. So if you're like, wait a second, did they

forget to do the season finale? No, we're doing it tonight for the live show. Yeah. Well, the season would definitely deserve that. But it's a really fun finale. So we're excited to do it. Okay. So let's do some of it with that believable, it's a really fun finale. But we are though. We are going on to about day six of having that damn song stuck in our heads I'm not seeing it all over his I choose you Frado Okay now on to summer house, so bought a previously house. So a lot of previously, it's really a lot of wasp angst.

There may have been a lot of overage people drinking to it. You know, we're there. Yeah, wasp angst. It's just crazy to think that half of this casting looks like Judy would drop at some point in their life. It's like, how are they going to get there? But they will. Every time they do previously on the show. I just think but why

Why though? So previously Amanda tried to drag Lindsay down into her you know pit of despair by Pulling her side at this winery to be like are you okay? Oh, sorry? That was Lindsay asking herself. Are you okay? Amanda would be like Lindsay are you okay? Because Lindsay's been going from guy to guy to guy and I understand Amanda was just trying to be like, Kyle Lindsey, are you okay? Because Lindsey's been going from guy to guy to guy. And I understand Amanda was just trying to be like, I just wanna make sure this is not, you know, trying to compensate for like,

the immense tragedy experience at the top of the summer. But also it's not any different from what Lindsey did any other single life. Every other, yeah, every other summer. I disagree with you about Amanda. I think Amanda is being a cold, evil, calculating little b-o-tch. She's friends with all the popular girls who all hate Lindsay, and they're always trying to bring Lindsay down.

And I think Amanda's just, you know, doing the Amanda version of telling you off the mix, you feel like crap. Like why aren't you crying? I mean, what? You almost had a family, Lindsay. Like who says that? That's so shitty. And then Kyle went up sit.

And this is one of which, wow. But you know what? You two are perfect for each other. Have fun. Is there maybe a happy or medium between both of our takes, which is that like, Amanda, maybe her going over to check in on Lindsay was not done with the purest of intentions,

which I believe is probably a fair take. I think that's a fair take. But like, it's one of those things where she is busying herself with something she doesn't have to busy herself with. Like, she doesn't have to do this. Right, but your talking... You're talking about...

You know, like when everybody in your group is talking shit about one person and then whenever once together, the person that confronts them is like, well, ba, ba, blah, blah, blah, and they're like the hero because they're the one that goes after the person. That's what Amanda is doing,

but she's doing it in like the passive aggressive way of like, then I can't run back you. When have you shown any fucking signs of caring about Lindsay when? No one? I think also Amanda likes being the representative for people. So I think she would likes being the representative for people. So she would, I think she would have,

what she was hoping with that Lindsay would say, oh actually, it's actually been really hard and I'm just going through a lot. I'm just running a funny mess. So that way Amanda can go back to everyone and be like, guys, take it easy on her. She's going through a lot. She'd like to be an ambassador.

And the mom, she's like kind of like the fixer, the mom. She'd like to be like, Kyleer the mom she'd like to be like Kyle's that way she can like she can break Kyle but then tell everyone else like he's just going through a lot she likes that role and I think she was trying to get that from Lindsay. Yeah but it's like someone you don't like and you've been going against for years so like shut up Amanda okay and you know about like finding a happy medium I hate middle roads I hate middle grounds I like being high on the top or down at the bottom where the fucking soda machine gets.

Do you want Patricia Arquette to be sad? Is that what you're saying? You don't like a happy medium? God, you see that would have killed medium if she was a happy medium. The point is she's an alcoholic person with major problems. That's why you have to have someone like Patricia Arquette

you cannot have a happy medium, okay? What like Patricia Arquette. You cannot have a happy meeting. Okay. What if Patricia Arquette were on the summer house? Yeah. Just randomly like at this current age. I mean, talk about staying in the bed all day. You know she would. It's like the most depressed. She would have so many speeches about doing dishes.

She'd be like, guys, we need to do the dishes. This is more than you. It's more than me. This is our earth. We're not going to have it like this. We have the God. Yes, she is super actory. It would be funny. She would be like that in any job. Like, man, you don't have your receipt. And when you don't have your receipt and you come into the store, you take what I've strived for my entire life. You not only throw it in my face, but in the face of every actual mass. Like man, this is a Marshalls, okay, can I return the fucking shirt?

Okay, we get it, you were in Beyond Rangoon. I still say Beyond Rangoon all the time. I'm like, it is Beyond Rangoon in here. I feel like I've seen someone turn on the washing machine. I was beyond Rangoon. I feel like I was seen someone turn on the washing machine. I've beyond Rangoon. I feel like I was the only person who ever saw, did you see it? No, I just remember the movie posters, and I was like, what a name.

Beyond Rangoon. It's like, white lady goes beyond Rangoon. It's like, look at the world outside of California. Hey, you, were you out running or something? You are beyond Rangoon. Okay, so we start where we left off. This is gonna be 10 hours of nonsense, by the way, just a warning. So we're gonna start where we left off with Amanda trying to care about Lindsay and Lindsay

not having it at all. I feel like I'm just not gonna lick on my hand. You remember him here? So Lindsay's like, yeah yeah I'm always done with my whole line. I always put my heart first. I'm always going to the deep end of first. I've always gotten taco contracts. You don't get beats of beach by diving into the deep end. Although I guess beach inherently is actually more of a shallow end. But yeah, but if this is what you want to give 100% of your heart to different men. And then she's like, yes, that's what I want to do.

Lindsay is basically like, I'm a Costco sampler of heart, okay? I don't care who it is, they're going to get the same size piece of my heart every time they pass the freezer section That's it. Yeah, she is like a John Shappel in song and she basically like She's like lives to be heartbroken like when Amanda's like, I mean if you want to be like I'm sorry I always do my Lindsey instead of my man if you want to be if you want to be heartbroken Yes, and meet someone new if you wanna be heartbroken, yes! And meet someone new, yes! Yeah.

Like Lindsay lives to be heartbroken. She loves it. Yeah, she's like, what's your fucking problem? She's like, yeah, if you wanna keep cycling through different men, giving them pizzas of you until you're just a pile of bad extensions and dried up empty rosé bottles.

And she's like, yes! That is what that is now I want to die. You know? But then Amanda has this weird bullshit that I feel like this thing, I was like, what are you talking about Amanda? She goes, but if every person that you love you give a little bit of your heart to

and then you find that person that you meet for the rest of your life, it's like how much of your heart do you have left to give? It's like, okay Amanda, stop projecting your issues onto Lindsay. Like that's bullshit. If you meet the person that you're like, you're like, you're with, that you like,

you're gonna feel it. A lot of people would argue that it's not that you're giving your heart away. It's that you're actually refining your taste. It's not a cake. Yeah. There's not only a certain amount. Like, you don't eat five pizzas at the cake

and there's only one pizza, the six-piece cake left. Your gathering recipe is actually. Yeah. Yeah. Your gathering recipe is actually. Yes. Your gathering recipes are like, okay, so this is the cake that I want. Your hardest flower, you can always go out and get more. Okay, there's always more where that came from. Yeah, but I think that like Amanda needs to have

that monologue because she's basically, I feel like Amanda's really only, like Kyle's like been her only main boyfriend, right? Or maybe she's had someone, but she's, that's been like a long-term thing. Yeah. I mean, Amanda met Kyle when she was like 22 or something like that or 23.

She was like six when she started this show. Like, how long has this been on? I feel like I've seen these people, I feel like I've seen them mature and grow up. Well, actually, no, they haven't matured or grown up. But they've got older, I've seen them age. And the thing is that, like, I think Amanda needed that monologue to sort of reassure herself

that, like, it's okay that she's stuck with Kyle all the time because that means that she was like giving him all her heart. Yeah. And Lindsay's like, yeah, but how big is my heart? And Amanda goes, how big is it now, Lindsay? And she goes, it's huge. It's huge. It's huge.

It's huge. It's huge. So there'd be, that huge! It's huge! It's huge! So that'd be... But see, that's what I mean, Amanda. Like, well, how big is it now, Lindsay? Like, what are you saying? Like, she's lost, like, she's dead inside. Shut up, Amanda.

What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like?

What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? What is it like? or is going to like take away your capacity to love other people. Well, I will say this, like, you know, I'm very anti-Amanda in this episode, but I will just to flip flop, because you know, I love a good flip flop. I get what she's saying as far as like every relationship you're in, you build a little callus,

I guess I would say, so like, not a cap, if they're not good, you know, like every bad relationship you're in, makes you maybe a little bit more cynical and to the point where you can just have a callus completely callus. Heart Lindsay. But the thing is like, who are you to say that? I know that for myself, but like for Lindsay, Lindsay is the other way.

Lindsay is the person who count, Lindsay is the scab. You know what I mean? That turns into the callus. She's become more raw as she's gone through shudder and shudder relationship. She's like, you know what? Fuck it. I don't want to waste my time anymore. So I'm just going to be like, this is 100% me

and you like take it or leave it. Now that being said, like in one way, I actually really applaud Lindsay for saying, this is who I am, this is exactly what I want. And she's later on she says, the right guy will see that and we'll want to stay for that, which I think is totally right. But that being said, I she says, the right guy will see that and we'll wanna stay for that, which I think is totally right. But that being said, I do think that the right guy

might have a few screws loose because like, oh yeah, because it's still like, I am totally down for not wasting time, but I also think that there's like something to be said. Like I respect the values of someone who actually like is like thinks of maybe defending themselves a little bit. If that makes sense.

What do you mean the guys? Well, meaning that I don't know. I personally think someone who just is fully just all in 100% right off the bat, I think that is a bit much personally. I respect you. Yeah, and I've said this before, but it's like they're not even into you. Someone like Lindsay is just like, if you follow the actual rules, like she's more into the behavior, behavioral part of it,

it's not like she's looking for someone that she likes or someone that would be right for her or who's, she doesn't even care about their personality or their likes or what they do or even their fucking name. She only cares that it's a person who's like, you know, getting dinner or doing whatever her rules are, you know, and then, like, how are you gonna find love that way, you know?

Like, I personally think the way it should be is that you say, this is who I am, and I'm not gonna play games. I'm not doing the thing. Like, if I wanna text you, I will text you. I'm not, if you're not communicating back to me, I'm not gonna waste any time. I think that's great.

That's what you should do, but I think the diving in and like having certain expectations of people, like right off the bat of like, as if you're in a long-term relationship and you've only just met is a little crazy. But then again, if it works, it works. Who am I to judge? I think that's the point.

But see, this is a thing, like we're trying to apply logic to a logical situation. Like you're trying, it's like we're trying to figure Lindsay out. You're not going to figure Lindsay out. Okay. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a, it's like a, just trying to shoot the moon. Just trying to shoot the moon. What do you guys see? Docus, Matou make sense. What doesn't, what, what do you just not make? Ever figure out. It's like everything in my, it's just like an IKEA furniture piece that you buy and you try to put together. You just try and sit there and figure it out for hours and hours and hours.

And then guess what? You can spend five days on putting that fucking dresser together. It's still gonna wobble. No one knows why. Someone made it right one time, but it's still wobbling at your house. Yeah, that's Lindsey. I think that she's still wobbly dressed up for my shoes of flur. That's it. Well, anyway, so Lindsay's like,

I've been going to therapy every single week, and like I'm doing everything I can do, to work on my internal self, and then like stand in front of the door, and then like when the universe opens that door, I'm ready to walk in through that door, and then knock it over, and then like, sort of fuck up what's on the other side of that door. I will be standing in front of the door when the universe opened it And when the universe opened it they are gonna find me fucking somebody in demanding sandwiches behind that door

So a man does like well from an outsider's perspective, which is funny because she's not an outsider It's not that what Lindsay thinks it is because like crying and getting disappointed with all these people doesn't sound like fun to me. I'm like, you know what else doesn't sound like fun to me? Like crying and getting disappointed with your fiancee. Yes, it's much more stable to cry every day of her being disappointed by one person instead of multiple people. I just show, have you watched your life. I think it's on TV. You can actually subscribe to your own life on television. It'll show up every week. Yeah.

And then she's like, I felt more like myself this summer than any other summer. And yes, like maybe Ahmed might hurt me tomorrow. I don't know, but I am strong enough to handle it and yell at him on a phone, okay? So then we cut to Paige and Andrea having a very deep conversation about their super deep relationship that they had. This is like total two-model conversation. So Paige is like, look, I don't want to fight with a hot person, okay? I just think I, like for a moment, I was like, wow, I'm being used.

But you know what, your ports are so small, and they could have been mine. Oh, thank you, the best compliment I could have gotten in something small. You know, you know me, and you know, I don't, I want to put myself in other people's shoes, you know, and I completely understand what you're saying. And I completely understand your disappointment.

It was the worst thing to find out that way. And the truth is, my first reaction was, when we walked in the house, I was happy to see you. I was so happy, so, so happy. And then I was going to this weird moment, you know, when you're really hot, but you can't get a girl, it is so weird for me. I'm so fragile, people don't understand. And she's like, I just don't want to ruin things with you. And she's like, my thing is ruined. That will come with age and calories. Okay? But right now you're still hot.

Everything's great between us. So everybody comes back to the table. And they're like, are we interrupting? It's like, no, you're not interrupting anything that's keeping my attention. So, you know, it's just in that moment, I was like, this could be about me. And it's not about me. And this hot person should be talking about me. So I made it about me.

Welcome back to the table. Well, I'm going to be a little bit more honest. So you know, it was just in that moment I was like, this could be about me and it's not about me and this hot person should be talking about me So I made it about me. Welcome back to the table. Oh right. Well, uh, let's have like one last little toast to my honor Restly group like this has been a really nice little one already like no one's cried Well sort of just kidding. Oh people have cried and discuss some things But we got somewhere. Oh, we're gonna be good. So have cried and just got some things, but we got somewhere. We're really good to ask. So everyone put your weight on there. Thanks so much.

All right, so look where you came, everybody. Look where you came. So Paige goes inside their back home and Paige, of course, goes inside without helping with Jack's shit. Nothing, nothing, lazy ass page. Even Sierra's helping. I mean, listen, your partner in crime is even helping carry things in.

And Sierra's like, wait a minute, Paige, you're not carrying anything. This is like, well, what the fuck are you doing? Why would you keep be carrying anything? Getting it. The page gets Cosmic Justice, because she walks at the door and she's like, sashading through, so her fingers strikes the door, frame by accident.

And she's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. So it's the first time I feel like we've seen Paige actually hurt herself. And like she reacts exactly how you expect. Well, it can't be good to hurt yourself with Paige's hands. She's got those, that's one thing I remember from season one. And I think it was like bad green screening too, but she was like moving her hands and the green screen.

And it looked like her fingers were all twisty dies. They were just like really thin string fingers. Oh, I love the little little fingers. Oh, small little baby baby. Little tiny little baby. Oh. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So Danielle is still trying to make a decision on Charleston She's like, you know, I know that Rob really wants to move Charleston and I just want to make all these decisions with each other in mind instead of like just ourselves in mind but Blabla blah blah blah my ff

She's like basically Bravo. Can you guarantee me a spot on Southern Charm? Thanks. Yeah, I mean, you're going to Charleston, okay? They're basically joining your two shows. So you're going to Charleston, or you're gonna be arriving at whatever Charleston house they're renting for the two months of filming late on the train from work.

Maybe they'll be like a Hilton head version of Summer House. Probably, I think that's where they're heading. I mean, it seems like it, right? Yeah. So then Amanda is asking Paige about Andrea. I don't even remember what she's asking Paige about. But Paige is like, you know, I know who he is as a person

and who he is at his core. So it's like, it's like really hard to get mad at him. Because again, he's a model and we don't get mad at models in this house. Yeah. I mean, with models, you literally just turned the next page So Maya's in bed talking to Lindsay and Maya's like I want to stay home I don't even want to go on

No, we're going out because we're friends now because we're like fucking some other people The first time ever that Lindsay has shown interest in ever I would like literally it was like a few weeks ago where my eyes are you going out? Yeah, but you can come Yeah, she's like oh, isn't it like you're a guy my guy my friend. So let's go out together. Yeah, so She's like let's go to montag And my it's like what's in montag Lindsay of herson maybe she's like, no, I don't even know where I'm at even. And blue, blue, blue, blue. I'm at is on first in Montaugh senior street.

You know her ass is already in his eye cloud. Yeah, she's like, she's like, I don't even know what he is. Like, I keep calling him. And like, I'm like, I was like, I'm so confused. Like, what are you? And I keep calling and calling and calling and being like, you're not answering. And you're not calling me

Lindsay This this is where you need to like this is the part of like you being a hundred percent You don't need to necessarily do in the first week of knowing someone. Well, that's when someone's like well I'm just being myself That's crazy. Don't be yourself. That's you're so listen. I don't want I don't want to be myself around whoever the person is, okay? I don't want to be better. I don't want to be like this.

Don't be yourself. One thing I've learned, do not be yourself all the time. Sometimes it's okay to pretend you're better. Yeah, I think Lindsey's view of take me as I am implies that there will be no further growth. And so I think that we do still need to work on some things, Lindsay, that are outside, just like not being obsessive with phone calls. Yeah, because that's not just who you are,

that's like a behaviorally crazy. That's like, I want someone who is down with me being obsessive. And that's not gonna attract maybe the best sort of person. Yeah. So by the way, Maya has Jeff peanut butter on her nightstand. You got to love Maya. You know, I mean, I love really everything about Maya so far. I wish you could say you loved her cookies, but we're not there yet.

One day. You know, one day. I was hoping that they might arrive today while I'm here, but. Oh, no, I've got the letter like, I think it's like their third email where she's not her, whoever's working with her, probably her, I would guess. Who knows? Kwame. So they're like, I think it's like their third email where she's not her, whoever's working with her, probably her, I would guess, who knows, Kwame. So they're like writing before me. I don't know.

Someone like to take my, like in a mustache and like, and my glass is like, my name, it was flyer. Yeah, or if they were like, we're hoping, thank you so much for your patience. We're hoping to go into production for your cookie soon. And that was the last email I got. And then I just thought she did some interview where she was saying, yeah, I mean, people are just so excited

about the cookies now. You know, I've always wanted to have like cookie drops where you're just like planning for the cookies and then the cookies drop and people are like, oh my god, there's a new cookie drop. Yeah, it's called sending your cookies out. That's how you drop your cookies. Yeah.

Yeah. That's it. It's called when you buy cookies, you mail them out. You drop them at the mail place. You drop the batter onto the sheet pan and you bake them because you could have made so many cookies by now. You could have made a lot, Durpan Durpan. Okay, with your band drops. I don't know.

There's a nice fresh new modern band for you. My reference. Durpan Durpan nice fresh new modern band for you. My friends. Durban, Durban. Listen, Maya, we love you. We love you on the show, but like this needs to, we need to love you. We need to have a hundred percent dedication to our love, and this is really working against that. Yeah, it's over.

The cookie's over. The cookie dream is over. It's a good dream is over. And I'm fine with it. Yeah, I'm fine. I'll just make my own terrible cookies. So Lindsay calls him in. Of course. I think just make my own terrible cookies. Okay. So Lindsay calls him and of course I think he called does she call him or does he go?

No, she calls him and so she calls him and he of course he answers like, hey, baby, have over here and she's like, I'm good. How are you? Because she's like confused that he answered. He's almost like upset that he answered. She's like, oh, I'm here with Maya. I'm saying, I don't listen, I'm trying to figure out what Danielle and I are doing. And we might come to Montaugh to hang out with her friends, but using to be busy with your friends. So, eh. He's like, you know, I'm just hanging with my boys.

And she's like, um, no, you said you were going to hang with your boys today. It is today, Lindsay. You are living in today. Yeah. If he told you this yesterday then today is today You do understand how that works. She's like what the sun went down and it's not there anymore How dare you like with me? You want a piece of me? You're not gonna get it me

To be fair, I'm ends up piece of shit, which is what you're gonna track by the way How is your piece of shit? What's he doing? No, I'll tell you why, because he goes, oh well, that's why I'm asking you what you're doing later. It's like, actually, you're asking her only because she reached out to you. You didn't reach out to her to ask her. So that's, I don't like that kind of like,

sneakiness where he's acting like he is actually being, you know, an active person in this fucked up relationship because he actually is not. He's now just trying to cover his tracks and then he's trying to almost make her feel like she's the crazy person. She is the crazy person. She is the crazy person, but in that area,

like he did not reach out to her. I know that he said. I would eat. He said, what are you doing tomorrow? He said, I'm gonna hang out with my friends. And she calls the next day, but then she said, well, why did you call me? You said you were gonna hang out with them tomorrow

and it's, yeah, but now he's acting. No, tomorrow's over because it's my time. So you should be acting. But now he's acting like, oh, but I am reached, I did reach out to you. So like he's lying. Like he should have just been like, no, I said today was for the boys.

And he should have just been like, yeah, no, I always said I was for the boys. I'm sorry, there was a misunderstanding. He said he was like, oh no, but that's why I asked you what you're doing tonight. He's like, no, you didn't. She called you and then you said that. I didn't write that down.

So as far as I'm concerned, it didn't even happen. I didn't even have the list. Wow, that reality is not part of mine. Listen, they're both toxic. That's the problem. Lindsay's always gonna invite a toxic person to her life. So it's like, well, okay, Lindsay, is there a plan for the night?

She's like, I'm looking to you. Oh, there's a lot of me under my arm. And he's like what? My plan is that I'm just going to eat with my friends. And she's like, oh, so you're blinded? It's not easy because you're busy. Got it. Got it. Thank you. You're very obvious. Okay. I'm a way too old over this shit. Good. And then she just hangs up on him and she's like, I'm not the one you want to fuck with. Which is true, although it's funny because that's actually exactly what she's looking for. So then Carl's like, the ongoing saga of Carl

on postmates this season's like, hey, aw, hey guys, I'm gonna call, did I own everything? Oh look, the guy's getting her food. She'll be here in 20 minutes, guys. 20 minutes, guys. Carl has set pride when he orders the food. He didn't look where you act like you cooked it.

I got it. Uh, god, dinner. Uh, god, dinner, uh. It's like the DJ who's like put together at the playlist for the wedding or whatever and they're like, yeah, you guys like the Shania Twain song? That was me. Yeah, that was it.

He's like, you were not Shania Twain, okay? You pressed play on the thing. Carl definitely gets some joy out of like walking down a hallway and then doing a... Hey, I'll start and do something together with Postman's order, laser, anything you want. Yeah, we're going to... Domingos, yeah. You want it? Yeah, okay, cool, you don't have to.

Yeah, I was just figuring out what you want to say, I'll let her something. We can share. Yeah, cool. All right, I'll put it down. Yeah, guys, food is coming. We can share. Yeah, cool. Or I'll put it down. Yeah, guys. Oh, food is coming. Yeah. Food is coming. Who's on the way, guys?

Yeah. So they're all sitting around in the living room and Sierra tells Alex, wow, look at those thighs. And he's like, thanks. Never skip a leg day. So Andrea boobs your butts. I'm like, oh, wow. I can't believe they cut you out of this season.

I can't believe it. Which is, I think that was like this only two lines of the episode. And thank God, because like, I can't believe it. Which is, I think that was like this only two lines of the episode and thank God, because like, I don't think the promise of Alex has come to fruition and like we were for a moment there, we started to miss him because it was, it felt so unjust that he was actually there and they cut him out. And so then I was like, oh Alex, he's just a misunderstood

former nerd, they'd be cute got muscles. And I'm like, hmm, no, he just doesn't have a personality. No, he's sex, that's his personality to like be in a room of women and go'm like, no, he just doesn't have a personality. No, he sex. That's his personality to like be in a room of women and go, hey, do you like boobs or butt? That's who he is. So, and he goes, oh, or face. And page is like, wow, you just realized that face isn't option.

So, that's great. I like that he added and face so he doesn't sound insensitive. You know, he's like, or face. Would you like face? And Andre goes, I love fucking boobs, but face is important. Face is important. Alexie has such a face and such boobs, Alexie. Did you notice that they cut to pages face

and the music just went, don't you? And he said boobs, they cut to page, and it went, don't you? And she's like, they cut the page and it went bink and she's like So food delivered and Carl doesn't just answer the door He does like a whole like wait outside for me and postmates. I'm gonna come outside. Okay guys I'm gonna be walking through the door right now. I'm walking through the road. Oh my god. They're missing me right now You got it. You got it post-miss post-miss post-miss Hey everyone, uh, postman's here. I'm just gonna hold me down the drive. Where you guys?

I mean, I'm in the driver. Okay. Hey, how's it going, man? Yeah. Hey, thanks for your help. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I know it's hard to find a dress, but you found it. Yeah. It happens all the time. Okay. Have a great night, man. Yeah.

You too. All right. So then he comes back in. He's like, oh, just Bruce Lee in the door open. With the food, got the food. Got the food, got the food. Hey, if everyone excuse me, I'm just gonna do a lap through the hallways. Hey, Sierra, yeah, you look great by the way. Postman's here, yeah, both of us. So then Kyle dances around in a way, he wasted, I'm Kyle's exhausting.

At this point, I'm just, I'm literally exhausted. Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt. When Carl walked in with the food, oh, Postman's here, you just hear a man in the back, I'm sorry to interrupt when Carl walked in with the food or a pulse measles here You just hear a man the back I go It's like anything sets it off So Let's see my it's like oh my god guys guess what I'm going out they convinced me to go out Carl just convinced me to go out

Well, I'm gonna go out cuz cuz I like, you coming bitch, we're going out. You're gonna come with me and pink wing just like, by the way, that we have fun. Sorry, man, spreading, no, you weren't in my area. And so she's like, wow guys, I'm going out. Someone talked me into it, which I guess my it just wants to be talked into things. I think so.

I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. I think so. language is like being convinced. Because earlier in the season, she had obviously triggered her a lot when she wasn't being invited to things. Oh, then now we're seeing her get invited to things

and she just doesn't want to get. She wants to be convinced. You know, like she's with Oliver and she's like, well, I don't know, she wants to all of her to convince her. You know, what I get, that's all you have to do to get your cookies. You just have to be like, come on. But I won't, because I know convinced her.

I see your love language and I'm not feeding into that bullshit. Okay. This is how the linty should be Now this is being yourself. I will not speak your love language because you're not speaking mine You speak my love language first which is cookies and then I will convince you that your cookies are good enough Do you see how that works? So then page is gonna stay in because she apparently only goes out of Craig is there and so then razz in her about it because she's like I think I'm gonna see you tonight they're like oh well Kreg we're here you'd go out you're always go out when Kreg's here and she goes well I'm sorry if I like Kreg more than you guys oh okay so then the late my I'm like I need to know

every detail of this show even though I've got 10 pages of notes on it but I'm like did that happen yeah I did have that I don't like that I don't like that she's like that it I don't like that. I don't like that. It was a scene that happened part of the postmates. So late night return is usual, and Danielle's like, Lindsay, why don't you just sleep with me? She's like, oh, really?

I'm planning to use the say, ah, I'm doing a little, I'm doing a little, I'm doing a little, I'm doing a little, I'm just wasted. They're just wasted. And Lindsay's doing that little baby-screen voice thing. Yeah.

So now it's the next morning, they're all waking up. And Lindsay is taking over breakfast duties. And so she's like, oh hey, while we don't have bacon, but I have a bread with sandwiches. For some reason, I'm very scared of a Lindsay Hubbard breakfast sandwich. I feel like it's just like bread and like A full number it's a post it's a post it on the inside but they're fucking phone number. Okay. That's what it is Also every time they cut to Alex the editors are hilarious because everybody's giving them so much shit about just cutting Alex out

And then they put him back in and they just keep cutting to Alex and every time they do he's standing in front of the mirror like staring at his mouth like yeah, oh, he's looking at himself like flexing his boobs. So and then so also the editors are now starting to plant the seeds of the Carl and Lindsay romance because Carl and Lindsay, the one he's like, show me me, so we sit in the breakfast mode that we can never use. And these people are monsters that they have this big, beautiful, circular table. They never sit in a, in a bay window. So they sit in it and, um, and then they're like bonding over, uh, like bonding over

their breakfast sandwiches and Carl's like, so, uh, Lindsay, do you always sleep in Daniel's bed? She's like, no. And he's like, oh, I was literally surprised to not see you in your bed this morning. Like, I don't know why, I just like walk by and I was like, whoa! Lindsay's not in her bed. I'm like, whoa, I'm literally surprised right now. Like, look at my face, this is my surprise face.

Pooh, pooh, pooh. And they just stare at each other smiling, like, oh my god, this is the new romance. Why is everybody acting like they haven't seen this before? Everyone online seems to be like, wow, Carl and Lindsay, this is amazing. Whatever they said, I ship them. Do not watch this show. We just saw that, what was it last season?

Or two seasons ago. We've seen this already, it's a disaster. Yeah, it's a disaster. Although they're still going strong after this, like they're on to like six months now, which is a record for both of them. Yeah, it's a disaster. Although they're still going strong after this, like they're on to like six months now, which is a record for both of them. Yeah, that's pretty good. But it's just not something new, everyone's like,

oh my god, this is crazy. Carl and Lindsay, we saw it, it ended very badly on a rooftop patio. The Carl still loves to use when his mom's in town. Well, you know, Lindsay is my best friend, and I support her, and I want her to be happy, and I give her a lot of credit for trying to do it and put herself out there,

because it's not easy, but I also notice that, like, they're probably not like the right guys. And then it just cuts to them staring at each other. Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung. Bum boy, grrr. So then Amanda comes into the girls room and No, that you want to get you a kitchen and page and Sierra both go at the same time

Why don't look so pretty on why are you so pretty? Why are you so pretty? Why are you so pretty? Why are you so pretty? Why are you so pretty? Why are you so pretty? I watched my face And I asked that's the secret and ground ergy So then later pages like in a full- outfit. Sierra's like, wow, you came in an outfit. She's, yeah, I was in the mood for like an outfit. It's like a bikini top thing in pants or whatever. And so Sierra's doing this like half-assed wipe down of the coffee table probably because she just spilled something. I was already clean. Let's be honest. Yeah. So she just kind of does like a wipe on the coffee table and she, uh, page

guess, no, she doesn't even show her yet. I'm having like an out of body experience right now. She says, why? Because you're cleaning. She's like, yeah. And then you look down and there's a paper towel on the floor. I was like, that's so, that is the kind of cleaning I would expect from Sierra and page.

Just like cleaned it through the paper towel on the ground. Oh, by the way, I wanted expect from Sierra and Paige. Just like, cleaned it, throw the paper towel on the ground. Oh, by the way, I wanted to tell you we're doing this like, excess Hollywood thing on Wednesday and you're going to be like one of the models. And like, it's funny, I've always wanted to host and talk about clothes because I feel like it's like the only thing that I, and then like Daniel just sits down and ruins whatever page is like, fashion moment, she was about to have. That's just going to share. Yeah. But basically, Paige and Paige is going to go on to access Hollywood, you know, and then

Sierra is going to be her model. And so that's something we have to look forward to later in the episode. Yes. So then Sierra has her like, I'm breaking down because I don't know what to do with my life. So then Kyle and Amanda are talking and Kyle's like in the closet. Wait, I'm sorry. I just want to say.

So Sierra, so Sierra is talking about she's feeling all like with the nursing, she's not sure what she's having an existential crisis, the quarter life crisis. And I love Daniel's advice. Ultimately Daniel goes, well look, just model and make money doing that. And then you'll figure out what to do. I love that.

Oh, just, She's a model. Yeah, she's already modeling. She's like, like, you have to do something else. You'll just model. You're on a TV show and you're a model, so just do that. She's already guaranteed. But like, it's, I don't know, I just thought it was funny. She's already a model.

She's already a model, Sierra, right? Yeah, but I just, you know, I just feel like a model. Just a model. I just guarantee you don't just, you don't just, even for models, you don't just go I just, you know, I just feel like just like this guaranteed okay? You don't just you don't just like go even for models. You don't just go out model, you know now You got to have a renna behind you or just kidding. Okay, so let's see Clause depositing jacks and he's like distributed to old school You still have to deposit jacks all right and the man is like can I am so many

He's like not until I leave you for a younger model, all right. And they're waiting on the floor to send centerpieces. No, only until I leave you. Sorry, that doesn't make sense. That's a pre-map. Sorry, it still doesn't make much. Go ahead. No, I was just saying, I wrote down this note.

Like, this is just a stupid water. I write this down, waiting on a floor to send centerpieces. Literally, I realize it would be the center piece of a drama. So he's saying how he doesn't want to leave anything for the last minute for this wedding, you know, and he's like, he goes, I mean, we're less than a month out. And guess what Amanda says? 28 days. We get it. 28 days. And he's like, yeah, but my investor is at the word prenup. I have to be prenup. And she's like, um, but my investor is hit the word prenup after you've been up and she's like, um, but you know

Well, like I have to talk to my dad cuz like I don't have I know how much money I'd like I have in my account right now But then there's like all these other accounts. I don't know how much is there like he's gonna talk to my parents And so he's obviously not looking forward to it and he's like Amanda doesn't even do her own taxes She doesn't have a business bone in her body and like I know she's gonna get her dad involved and I don't want to look unprepared I kind of don't like that she's like what? I was gonna say that she mean like she doesn't just because she doesn't do her tax She doesn't have a business bone in her body. I mean like you know, she sent her taxes off to an account Well, I guess she sends it to her dad. Yeah, I heard that doesn't have a business bone in her body. I mean, like, you know, she sent her texts off to an account. Well, I guess she sent it to her dad.

Her dad does, yeah, her dad does it. But this is the first time that I was like, oh, wait, because I feel like the narrative has been like, Kyle's rich, Kyle drives all these fancy cars. Kyle gets his like giant penthouse apartment. I don't know if it's a penthouse, but Gorgeous apartment in New York. I've always kind of gone, seen the narrative

as like Kyle's rich. And so that's why Amanda puts up with his crap. But now I'm thinking, wait a minute. Is it reverse? Is Amanda just loaded? Cause they talk about trusts and stuff like that later. And she's got these accounts. It's like, this is rich people shit who were just like, I just have accounts. I don't know how much you're in them like you have to talk to my dad about it Kyle Yeah, I don't even want to deal with that. This is the first time I was like, oh, she's the rich one And he's been putting off the prenup and now he's acting like he wants to get the prenup to save face But it's really her family who's making them get a prenup and I'll bet you anything that's what's happening because her dad is not an idiot

And he at the end they even splice in Kyle saying well who's making them get a prenup. And I'll bet you anything that's what's happening. Cause her dad is not an idiot. And he at the end, they even spliced in Kyle saying, well, every investor is telling me as to get a prenup, but it's the same exact tone and everything that he said before and you don't see his face when he says it. And I don't think Kyle ever asked for that prenup. I think that the dad's making them get a prenup.

I think Amanda, we've been saying it for a few weeks now. Amanda has actually more to lose than Kyle. So I think she should get that prenup for sure. Well, I think she should, but I never looked at it as like, oh, she's the one who wants to prenup really, but they're doing this so Kyle can say face. That's just my conspiracy theory. I have no idea if it's true, but now it makes sense

because Amanda's dad is not gonna let her marry Kyle without a prenup. Yeah. After seeing her dad later in this episode, I'm like, there's no way that's gonna happen. Kamashas, here comes one right now. Meanwhile, while they're having this into it. They're like, and you just hear Lindsey going, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like making all these, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the two of them together. So they leave the Hamtons and only, you know, one of these cast members can do something on every day of Louis. So here we go. Monday is Lindsey and Carl's members can do something on every day of the week So here we go Monday is Lindsay and Carl's time to do something together and she's like one

I'm gonna hang you plan and he's like oh I could build it up on a high shelf because like water. It won't be too hard because it could like hang and I'm tall Just Bruce Lee that plant just Bruce lead it's not all I am hey all I just ordered some postmates for this plant Does anyone want to get on this order or no? So then I do want to come live with me alone or do you want to come live with me with some plant mates? Hey So apparently I just killed a bunch of plants because I only wired them one to eat because you know I just want to take a slow so only doing a little bit of watering

So then page and Sierra arrive at 30 rock and pages like this is my first national television fashion segment I've wanted this my entire lot Danielle just comes in like hey guys, uh, that's cool. You're here. Just do you want some coffee? Running every dream Every dream monologue that page tries to have. Yeah. She says that in fourth grade, she was a news reporter and they show a picture of her as a news reporter, which I'm sort of sad because I have I was just at home and I could have pulled up the picture of me when I was a news reporter in fourth grade. Oh my God. Was it the same or even like a bikini top and suit pants?

Yes. Well I think I already mentioned that I did play Dan rather in a school play but I also there is a photo of me holding a little microphone but then again I think that's pretty sad. I think at some point most children have a moment where they find a cardboard tube and they make themselves a news reporter, right? Can we not disparage pages drain? This has been her drain since she was a child, Ben. Ever since my mom ran out of paper towels that first time, I knew my destiny was to have a new segment. I would look forward to those days when the bounty roll would run out and I'd be like, guess what? It's time for page news. And page is like, well, you know, like when other companies are like, have you ever done

a segment before? I can say like, yeah, I've done a segment before and Sierra goes, yeah, like it's in your resume. She's like, yeah, yeah, like that. She, I also know it's like page likes to, she loves to do like a, like a theoretical conversation and she always likes to start it with, oh, she's like, so this way I'm gonna come into the like, oh, have you ever done fashion? I'll be like, oh, yeah, here it is. And then they'll be like, oh, okay, cool. So then the host comes out, the host,

Labie, and I guess, oh, another producer. No, just another producer. So it was like, it was like, tier two. The first one was like, the first one is like, the low-level producer who has to go down to the lobby to get people and the next one is like, the was like, tier two. The first one was like, the first one is like the low level producer who has to go down to the lobby to get people. And the next one is like the producer who tells you how the producer go down to the lobby so she comes in.

That's what you can tell, because it's like the rings of the tree. You know, it's like, it's like the 20 year old coming to get you, the 30 year old, making sure you're okay, the 40-ish, I don't know, it's your confused, because it's like the housewives face comes in.

And you're not really sure And you're like, oh, this must be the this must be the host and at the top is Elaine There's always someone named Elaine at the top a lane the Milton Burle sit mep on the main office Elaine has curly hair and when you see her She's always just eating a characteristic and she does that thing where when she reminds me my jaw fake a lane reminds me my real Geographer Geo my

Geometry teacher ninth grade Mrs. Zab, who would always eat a carrot stick. And when you eat the carrot stick, you did the sideways bite. You ever, you know what I'm talking about? Where someone goes like, let's have a going on like that, up and down they go, yes.

That's what Elaine does. Elaine goes, okay, so what do we have today? We have, okay, so we have, who is this page? Okay, it's just doing fashion. Yeah, okay, go for it. Mm-hmm. So, yeah, Elaine, we don't get all the way

to Elaine's ring on the tree, but we're... I'm not saying it's your thing. Yeah, we started, she's like trying to find cut carrots for the 20-year-old Elaine downstairs to bring her. So the host is like, okay, so... This cracked me up, so that we see the segment, basically, right? Yeah.

So the host is like, so Page to Sorbo's here and she's gonna tell us one of the biggest trends blowing up on tennis court Fashion fashion No tennis court. She's like it messes up her sentence. She goes she's gonna tell us about tennis court cheek I was like is that hard tennis courts? She's probably thinking in her mind like I'm on access Hollywood. This isn't a deep show.

But does that say tennis tennis court cheek? What the fuck is that? She's probably thinking I was. She's probably thinking I started on the road rules on MTV. And now here I am and there's some other generation of reality. So I was coming onto my show because that's where she started by way, Ron It's she was a road rules. I think she's a season one of road rules cat. Anyway, um, it was also a very meta moment because we're watching Bravo We're watching summer house on Bravo and cat is I forget cats last time. Their name is cat

She was like she was like page is horrible of Bravo summer house. I'm like, this is so weird that we're watching like a meta Meta bravo summer house moment, you like, this is so weird that we're watching like a meta, meta Bravo summer house moment, you know. But if you were like, oh, I'm watching summer house, but like on Access Hollywood, but on summer house. I like to get the cat from Road Rules. It's a big rush. I'm not talking out of my ass. Yeah, oh, Kit Hoover, sorry.

That's a cat. That's a very, very, very, a chance to send her in. Cat and she's delicious and layered. Maybe she's more layered than I ever knew. Oh, and our spouse is Crowley Sullivan. Of course, she's married to someone named Crowley Sullivan.

Of course she is. Yeah. She's such a, that's such a, that's classic kit. Classic kit. So Paige starts doing her tennis court chic thing and they make her look so stupid because she's just sitting there and they, of course, like she'll the footage of before they're rolling and she goes

um and then it's like really awkward and silent and she's okay yeah in the past year women have taken style and Comfortability and morphed it into Danielle this is my segment on live TV stop interrupting but we're gonna go to Charles Do I think I think it's a right decision Danielle yeah be quiet high charts so tennis is elegant it's a right decision. Danielle, be quiet. Okay. So tennis is elegant. It's chic. It's like, you know, like someone calls you up and it's like, oh, why don't you come back tennis with me? And you're like, oh, okay, because I have a tennis sweater. That's like what tennis is.

Yeah, like that's what you want in your outfit. So here's our first model. Lindsay is a mom on the go. She added a denim jacket just in case, you know, she gets cold. She could literally go anywhere near tennis, as long as it's near tennis. That poor,

giggling. What the hell is this? This is not fashion. That poor model, that model's like 22. They're like, okay, here is our mom on the go, look. Yeah, she's like, we call this the Hubbard and it's basically for moms on the go who are just like, perpetually unhappy and really are never going to get what they want out of life.

So then Sierra comes out. Sierra ever modeled before, okay, let's, I have a question. Sierra ever modeled, like she was acting like she was on a beauty pageant at that moment, right? Well, what is this access Hollywood modeling anyway? Like how are you supposed to act? It's a room this big, okay? Yes. And Sierra comes out like, hi.

I saw an elevator, I saw an elevator bank. It was like next to the elevator bank. Oh, it's like a tree that they're coming out from behind. You know? People are Elf Tree. Yeah, so she walks out, out in some most awkward thing. And she's like smiling, like she's literally doing like prices right, like showing off like, like a,

like a box of chlorox or something. And she's like model number two is Sierra. And she's wearing a French vibes look. Like she might be playing tennis, but probably not because she's had one or two of the most. Sierra's like, like, Might be playing tennis, but probably not because she's had one or two more Like choosing out so big like oh Well, dour people are not in tennis chic. Okay, it's only people who look like they might start lobbing balls at you Any second and then Jamie Jamie's in a high boot with a cute little bag and she's ready for date night

I was like Jamie's going to date night or goddamn tennis skirt. Are you kidding me? Come on page. So paid. And I love that page is acting like women have just decided to be comfortable in 22 or 2022. I'm saying you know what women do now? They're like wow we could be comfortable and stylish. So here's a surprise. Page says I have never been more proud of myself. I have never been more proud of myself. I have never been more at home. I know this is what I'm supposed to do. And the fact that Sierra makes it all a better. And what are the chances that you just happen to have a close friend?

It's Danielle. I'm honestly trying to have a moment. Can I just have one moment, please Danielle. Is everything you have, male and Charleston? Danielle, you can have your monologue on your scene. You should just model. Hi charts. Hi charts. Oh, so then Kyle and Amanda are at home. And kind of like what time your parents come and babe ding dong. We

here. I know. They're there. And so they come in. There's like small talk about tuxedos. Cause Frank bought a tuxedo or something. And Frank is like, I'm still seeing an email that concerned me a little bit. Like, what are you still waiting for? A lot of check boxes unchecked, eh? And Amanda's like, what do you see? email is about that.

And he's like, you see? That worries me even more, because I can see now you haven't even seen these emails. Okay? Like you got a different kind of phone than you gave me for five this day. It doesn't give you emails, because? Like you've got a different kind of phone than you gave me for Father's Day. It doesn't give you emails because I doubt you went to a fucking giant number

and old lady phone, okay? I see you on the Instagram. You don't check your email, it's like you don't get emails now. And then we see so clearly, which I guess we've always known from the beginning. These two don't do shit, Amanda and Kyle. They don't do shit, they don't find a venue, they spend all these years

doing nothing and then who does it? Her parents come in and literally, we knew it was in their backyard We suspected the parents were doing and paying for everything, but that's just that's pathetic you guys Your parents helping you is one thing, but they're doing everything Yeah, they are and Donna's like, well, what about music? I mean, music's hugely important. We don't even know exactly what sort of music you're going to be like walking down in the Samu, and we have to sign off on that. Like, that's a little crazy.

They just don't have their music yet set up for the wedding. You just know Amanda's going to have like, don't be like Tom Sandevolts band. You know, it's gonna be that. I just feel like she's gonna have that one, like a daddy daughter, you know, the dad. It's like butterfly kisses. But a fly kiss is,

oh my God, I can do this the entire time. Oh my God, so butterfly kisses Kyle. What? So Kyle goes, well, Amanda actually has put some thought There's a song for the way it is, Kyle. So Kyle goes, well, Amanda actually has put some thought into the song that she wants. You can't even pick a song.

You two suck. How is Amanda not figured out her song? You know she's been probably planning this wedding for 10 years. Yeah, so the dad's like, all right, moving on, marriage license. What are we gonna get that done? And Kyle's like, a TBH has them in up there in my priorities.

Like, I've been getting four hours of sleep these days. Kyle, we just saw you for three days a week, every week, for the past three months, wasted with wigs. Okay, you had enough time to order your fucking Amazon wigs. Get, I've been in a wedding license is I can't imagine that difficult to get. I mean, really, like so many idiots get married, you can figure that.

Like that, that's an easy way to do. Yeah, stupid people get married all the time. Pirates doesn't get an intern, all those things. Okay. Well, they did, they have their parents. You know, they have their parents doing it all. So the dad's like, these are items of priority, we're running out of time.

So then poor Haley, the awkward food stylist comes. Yeah, just poor girl. And she's like, I'm not, I'm not some king. So I'm a style time. This one's got a bob. So I'll be enjoying it. OK, OK, we're starting with the lemon blueberry first. And Kyle's like, lemon cake is good.

Lemon cake is so good. I'm just like, yeah, it's become a favorite with people. I'm like, wait, like, lemon cake is always, but, yeah, it's become a favorite with people. I'm like, wait, like, let me cake as always, but don't say it's become a favorite. Lemoncake has been what you talk about, it's become a favorite, it's not some obscure cake. This show is pretending it's wrecking every boundary today. First, page introduced people to introduce

women to feeling comfortable in fashionable clothes. And now we're getting the pioneering of lemon ginsengar. And so then there's like a fun fettie and then I don't know I don't have to go through all the ginsengar. So Amanda's like I'm gonna whip on my selling guy. That's her city version of guacamole. Yeah. And then Amanda's just, I mean, girl, now you wanna talk about Beyond Rangoon, just that when you go to someone's home

and they're like, I'm gonna make the salad. Ffff. With their hands, I'm like, what are you, Kim Richards, I expected more from you. If you, listen, if she washed her hands, I mean, as Ina Garten says, cooks best tools, your hands. Also, I loved her salad bowl, by the way.

I feel like Ina Garten picture news. I'm disgusted that she doesn't wear their hands. Listen, if you're eating alone, do it with your hands, but I don't know, it's COVID. I don't see her wash her hands. I think they're, yeah, well, I think that's not the salad. You have to be concerned about her tossing. Oh, ah.

So she's whipping up her salad and the dad's like, all right, let's just get down to the basics. Okay. Are you guys wanting to get married? Do you want to do so much going on? You know, you say you're not sleeping. Like if you thought about the reality of what's happening in a couple of weeks,

you're both about to officially ruin your lives. Are you ready to commit to that? How many times do I have to warn you? You guys should not be getting married. I know. I feel like this is like the leader of Heaven's Gate handing out the final pair of white sneakers. Like, wish you were right.

You're putting on these re-box. We're gonna do this, right? Well, it's like that It's like the parable right of the like like they got I've said this parable I'm just podcast before about like there's like a flood coming and the guy won't leave his house and like they send the book It's like that forward. I sent you the helicopter. What are the signs that you need because God is waiting for God I like that. I'm waiting for God to help me. He's like, uh, yeah, I sent you a boat I sent you a boat

This is the helicopter I am the helicopter right now. So Kyle goes well I'm thinking about like how complicated our life is right now and make sure we're on the same page or where we are And then it just comes as like And so by the way, what is Kyle saying? Is that bullshit in the scene? Half the stuff he's saying is so. None of it makes a real answer.

Yes, it's a pyramid. It's like a sales pitch. None of his answers ever make any sense. They're always like some general type answer. Like do you have the marriage license? Well, you know, all the things I've been working on, you know, getting four hours of sleep. Nobody knows, nobody knows Kyle. And nobody knows what you're doing at this point because I feel like people who work that much who are constantly doing things don't talk about it

That much like Kyle like oh my god. I barely sleep. We see you parting all day like I get that there's still a Medusa Wednesday Thursday, you know, but so many works out. I feel like they're they would be more controlling of their wedding or what's going on or getting shit done. Like a go getter doesn't just not get a marriage license. Like who does that? Tom Schwartz. So he's not a go getter. Tom Schwartz has never brides about how he's up to a foreign the morning working. I feel every day. It's like all I do is things. You can't go to city hall. I'm going to get a wedding license

right now. I'm going to look. How do you get a wedding license? OK, right now to prove how fast travel we're in Travis County, right? OK, yes. All right, so complete a marriage license application.

Click on that. OK, I've clicked on the marriage license. Public marriage license. OK, by the way, we're at what? All 30 seconds right now. OK, you've got to fill in your name, your street, this on that. Okay, I've clicked on the marriage license, public marriage license. Okay, by the way, we're at what, all 30 seconds right now. Okay, you've got a fill in your name, your street, this, and that applicant information apply.

This, I'm sorry, this takes 60 seconds. I can really get a wedding license right now. You know the shit is auto-fill? Do you know they have a Mac? Yeah, wait, let me, let me put it, I'll say Ben. You know what, wait, oh, I messed up the the auto fill, but we can make it out of film You're my man if you pass away It's almost gonna go through your Google history be like Ben wanted to marry Ronnie this old time

Marrying myself apparently no, it is auto fill. This is an easy process. Don't do auto self auto Auto fill guys listen Kyle Kyle just doesn't Kyle's doing the typical not wanting to get But then he seems not like he's like so into the wedding You can't believe nothing's getting done. I don't know. I feel like I'm falling for everything on the show That's a lie and I'm taking it too seriously and then I'm feeling stupid about it And then it's making me more upset with these people, you know, yeah So anyway, yeah, so I feel that's what it feels I feel, that's what it feels watching Bravo. That's what it feels like.

You just feel like you're just being duped all fucking day, but you can't get out. It's like a weird, emotionally abusive relationship. Yeah, we filled out our marriage license to Bravo. So Frank is like, so anyway, Kyle's like, well, my attorney is, I mean, my investor is as you get a prenup, and then he starts talking about like, you know, oh like if I went out of business,

like if I go bankrupt, I'm screwed. I actually feel like Kyle. So if we go by your theory, that Kyle is the one who doesn't want to prenup, which I feel like it's a strong thing that maybe Amanda's the wealthy one. But if it were that actually Kyle is the wealthy one, I feel like now he's playing up the fact

that he could go bankrupt any moment. So that way Amanda actually feels more motivated to get a prenup. Right. He's trying to like make it sound better for his dad. Yeah, I can see that. But Carl's Amanda's like, well, Kyle just wants to get his ducks in a row. That's all. And the dad's like ducks are not in a row.

Ducks are miserable. Mean creatures are squirt shit and so in many way they want. All right. And Carl's like, yeah, but you know, I got an SBA loan and like I'd be personally guaranteed. So like every single month, we're cutting a check to the tune of 50 grand, you know. So it sounds to me like he just wants the business. He doesn't want to have to give Amanda half of the business. Yeah, I don't even know

that it's about all the other money. It's about. He just doesn't want. Yeah, it doesn't want to give leopard boys. So then, you know, Frank's just he's just start babbling all about, I'm sorry, this is where the voiceover comes in where they cut away from Cot. He says all this investor stuff. We see him saying it. He said, no, he says every single month, we've cut a check to the tune of 50 grand. What's going on is we haven't sat down and compared what we have. And then they cut away from him. And you hear the old clip of my investors told me point blank Amanda and I should get a prenup, but you don't see him actually say that to the dad. That's why I think it's fishy.

So the dad's like, well, the first thing I want to do is approach an attorney. So I think the dad is the one who brought this into play. And so Kyle's like, yeah, because God forbid if the business went bankrupt, I'm screwed. And the dad's like, you're screwed, but is she screwed? That's what I'm worried about. Yeah. And so then he's just like, Frank's just sort babbling around about like

responsibility and everything and then Amanda's like well, he does pay all the electric and cable bills And she leaves the lights on every weekend Hey, so Frank is like so like are you guys both gonna be paying the bills together? And Amanda goes we are going to be paying out of his account. And he's like, no, you guys, when you're a partnership and Kyle's like, it's not even where the money's coming from. It's like, who's doing everything?

Like, I'm doing everything. And that's like, but I do that stuff for my wife and then she feeds me, she keeps clothes on my back. That's the least I could do is pay the bills. And Kyle's like, I could do is pay the bills and cause like, I don't get meals in laundry. And then like, all right, well, cheers, so a great tasting.

Well, then they bring up grandpa's trust, the dad is like, but what about grandpa's trust? So yeah, there's there where I go. Something's going on. That's where I'm getting it. So Amanda, my end page or back, I thought that was the last scene. Didn't that seem like the last scene?

I felt like this has been a fun recap. No, but then there's another whole big section now. So now then it's Friday and they're driving back out there. An Anciera's like, I can't believe it's the last week. And a page is like, it's a fun summer, actually. I think this is my most fun summer ever. The most funnest summer fun times I've ever had.

Huh. And then Maya's like, I think it's because I was here. So yeah, sorry, I was just trying to have a moment, Maya. Thanks. So they're talking about prom, because their final party is gonna be like a prom night or whatever. So she's talking about prom and she's like,

I've trained for this. I've put in the work. I loved prom so much. I managed to go to 12 proms. I was prom queen in a high school. I didn't even go to. So I then, the wearing crowns everywhere and acting like a bitch to the like chubby people in the room

is not being prom queen, okay? It's just being an asshole. That's so creepy. I feel like great pages that person who still would go to prom. Like if somebody and Vyder should be like, oh my god, prom, I would love that. She'll be like the 40-year-old prom queen if someone's prom. Well, you know that she probably reenacted the prom scene

of like coming down the stairs and she's all that, like a million times their mom's like, okay Paige, we're gonna do what you ready? I'm pressing play on the Kiss Me song. Yeah, mom do it already Okay, kiss me and Paige just walks down that staircase. I don't think that counts as going to prom That's just like playing with your mind. Yes, and they show her in all her looks and like some of them are full on wedding dresses for prom Like full on wedding dresses like Paige. That's just you in Tennessee. That's not a prom Yeah, I tend to skirt wedding dress prom. So then Maya's like, yeah, well, I sent cookies to Oliver

and they're spelled out and they say, prom. Which I was like, I thought that might be trickering for you. No, but listen, you give cookies to the person you're giving your cookies to first. Okay, I don't expect them first. I just don't expect them never. Come on. So Paige is like, stop.'t expect them first. I just don't expect them never. Come on. It's a page just like, stop.

That's so cute. Have you guys even talked up yet? And I was like, like, sex? No. Wow, I love that. I love that. And so you're like, I love a slow progression. I love a slow progression.

You're only saying that because you want to rationalize the guy that you're dating still fucking around for like six months. Okay. I love assault progression. So I don't know about a meta in Lindsay, like what I know is her taking a break. Okay. And he's like, sorry. That's mean, prom queen 12 times.

So what do you expect? I mean, we shouldn't make fun of our elders. So then Lindsay's like, now the other car, Lindsay's like, so I don't think things are done with our myth, but just figuring out how to communicate with each other. And I met him two weeks ago. We're trying to figure out if I call him,

and then he just doesn't come back. Is that good communication? And I don't know that works for us. Dance is a dance desire. Lindsay trying to convince herself, she's so happy. She's so standing, Bedouin trained. I know. So they talk about Dan Danielle.

Lindsay is such a funny friend because she just has that yes man in Danielle, you know, where she doesn't really know anything about Danielle. Lindsay's such a funny friend because she just has that yes man in Danielle, you know, where she doesn't really know anything about Danielle. So she's like, so how was it with Phil's parents? She's like, Robert, yeah. So, well, you know, they went to Charleston growing up, they would go on like family vacation there and stuff and that's why Robert loves it.

So like, I don't wanna be without Robert, but like, I needed to be on my own terms. Like, I So like, I don't wanna be without Robert, but like, I need it to be on my own terms. Like, I just, like, I wanted to be a forever home, but like, I just need to try it out first. And Lindsay's like, wait, you're dating someone named Robert and you're gonna move away. Why? You're going to Houston?

No, Charleston. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, what the fuck? No, I'm I'm wrong. I'm activated So then Amanda and Kyle arrive and she's like will you take my longer than Kyle and he goes I feel like I'm gonna be doing this the rest of my life. Yes Kyle. Yes, you will. That's called being married Mm-hmm, and so then another, Luke, Andrean, Alex, all arrived. We have the entire cast now. This is like, I feel like every episode,

they're always like someone's, they're holding someone back in the city. I feel like for a budget reasons, but now they get the whole cast. And Luke is like, oh wow, I'm back in the house. Wow, traffic, not as bad as I would have thought for a Labor Day weekend. Pretty good, pretty good.

You know, he's probably saying that the entire ride. Like, hey guys, we're making great time. Can you believe it? Look at those trees or with now those are some healthy trees. I sap you tree. Love it. Good drive. It's like drive. It's like making a hat dish in only 30 minutes. I mean, wow, who would have thought? That was fast. Kyle traffic was a bitch. I'll tell you that, man. Yeah, he is that guy. He's like, wow, hailing out there, right? Look like snow, but then it started banging on the roof a little bit. It's hell It's hell. You know, hell's not slowing down the traffic as much as I thought out there

You wouldn't have thought yeah, it's pretty impressive. I hope all the coyotes are okay with the hell You guys notice if they changed the time of the stop lights of Montac They did right with that in my head because I could swear they're different. They used to be around 35 seconds or about, you know, 53 clicks of the turn signal. You know that I also noticed that the crosswalks are a little brighter. I wonder if they repainted those because they're a little bit more vivid. I'm noticing them a little bit more. You know, so people don't run into the street from the sidewalk and cars can see them or whatever.

It's lots safer, which is good. I like safety. People run. You know what I'm saying? People go at different speeds, but America's running on Duncan, you know? So Kyle and Amanda are in the kitchen now. And of course, it wouldn't be a weekend if Kyle and Amanda

weren't making about them and they're fucking stupid wedding that their parents are doing everything for. So Kyle's like, dude, a floral just black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black,

black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black,

black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, so you were questioning that. I was like, I would like to see emails because they're making it seem like, well, it just wasn't while we were looking, you know the emails were like, what the fuck is this we asked for this? This is not what we want from. You know, like they don't, this florist is not going, a florist is not gonna give up an account

that's gonna be on television. Like for a filmed wedding, no florist is gonna give that up They were probably horrific to them horrific and who makes a mood board, but doesn't get a marriage license like seriously Wow, you went to a hobby lobby and made a fucking mood board. No, no That's that's the the strongest point you made all episode. Well, thanks. So they're you know telling the guys like point you made all episode. Well, thanks. So they're telling the guys.

Like, guys, the worst people to tell this to is the group of guys. I don't know. Guys walking the whole. It looks like what did they tell you about the traffic. And he's like, I felt so bad for those guys because they were coming in all ready to grow out because Andrea comes and going,

what is that? And even Lucas, what is that? And so they're like ready to be like, roll, and then they're like, dude. The floor is backed out and like, oh, okay. Great times. And then Luke, Luke is not that friend who tells you

everything's gonna be okay. It's like, how miserable, nothing's working out. I get it. I can't even get to say that. He just goes, you know, and then now it's real tough, right? Cause like you're not going to find someone else to work with. Cause there are already books. Huh? Wow. That's too bad. That's, you know, that's 430 traffic right there. Is bad. That's too bad. That's like, you know, it's been 45

minutes. You check in the hot dish. You never turned on the oven. God, that's bad. I mean, how are you going to rebound from that room temperature dish? Salmon, that's a winter. It's dangerous. Remember my mom's two-in-a-hat dish? God, that was so good. That was good. That was good. That was good times. I'll tell you who would be good in traffic. That two-in-a-hat dish. Have you ever driven a hot dish? Some of them you can actually drive. You can just put the little beetles on them. Just sit right in. It's a little mushy, but they work so Carl comes a Just Clint Eastwood in that door right there Sorry, Floyd. I was just uh, we're in some post-man so how do Tom should be robbing soon? It's told that door get off my lawn

Wow So then patrons here arrive and everyone is there and then there's a lot of and then Lindsay arrives to So there's more of the rise in the most Lindsey way ever Girl like hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, I mean in my mind I just call her boobs face by you know like I'm out of girl And they're like how did you meet her and he's like well actually I got a DM I'm like she's slidding to your DMs. Yes Who says it Lindsay she goes you even oh Kyle goes you read your DMs and look goes oh Yeah, I read them all so I went and we had beers and she's a really cool girl And I was like do you want to be my date?

You know, and so she's gonna come over I'm gonna fuck her brains out and then you know, I'll be fun I just love how Lucas so sweet like yeah, I thought it'd be really you know, she's just gonna fuck it like Well, yeah, it's just he's so he's like so you slide into someone's DMs. What do you expect up here? A parent a parental backyard wedding like up a parental backyard wedding. Like, but also Luke going on national TV and saying he reads every DM is crazy. He got a million DMs last night. He knew he did.

Yeah, good for him by a great strategy. So Andreas, like, bejah, you know that we have, he gets sent like on a knee to ask for the problem. And he's like, bejah, legend, legend, tiny bejah, you know that we have a special relationship and I never been to prom and I would like you to be the first time that I have prom with you because I miss Lidgen so much.

Yeah. I'm saying absolutely. So then Lindsay and Carl don't have dates, so they're gonna be dates, which I feel like sums up their relationship pretty much. It's like, well, we're milk that's about to be thrown into trash. Are we gonna get together? Are we not? You know, are we gonna rot in separate fridges or are we gonna rot in the same fridge?

Oh my god! We're mixing our milks! We're gonna make cheese together! Hey, Loans, you're old rice, and I'm chicken on its fifth day. I want to go together and make some fried rice Daniel's like I brought onion and egg. Should I go to Charleston? Danielle, this is their moment So then let's see Alex is like anger luggage any girls want help carrying luggage up the stairs I got it never miss a leg. Never miss a leg day. Never miss a leg day.

So now the girls are all up in the room. The young girls are in their room and they're all gossiping. An Amanda's like, Paige, how's Craig gonna feel about Andrea being your prom date? And so Paige's like, well, I'll just tell Andrea that Craig and I are explicitly seeing each other. And she like smiles so proudly. Like she's like achieved something major and I'm gonna say wait is that real yeah so like you know so like Craig ties me this weekend and then he

was like hey I don't want to hook up with anyone else and I obviously read but we're like not officially boyfriend and girlfriend but like if a company we're like oh by the way are you boyfriend and girlfriend I'm like oh actually yes I am. So it's on your resume. Yes, yes, Yara. It is called a resume. So then, Pey just like, well, I mean,

he texted me that he didn't want me sleeping with anybody else and I mean, obviously I agreed. So like, it's not official, but like if you do the math and like, I'm not seeing other people and he's not seeing other people, you can't do that. Are you going to Charleston? So then Amanda just fills a lover boy on the bed.

No, it's my argument. Oh, my is filled with a lover boy on the bed. So then everyone's driving and they're like, what are you wearing to prom? What are you wearing to prom? What are you wearing to prom? And then he's like, I'm wearing my original prom dress like my boobs are bigger, but it's still there.

And Alex, by the way, did you catch what Alex said? He's like, I have a white shirt original ponder like my boobs are bigger but it's still Alex by the way that you catch what Alex said he's like I have a white shirt and I'm just gonna like rip the sleeves off It's like what really like no no I'm gonna cut the sleeves off like dude I Can't I can and I'm someone who likes looking at big arms, but I can't I can't They say lead with your personality. Yeah. So Kyle's like, oh my god, I'm going through a rollercoaster with all this crap in my life and these conversations. Like, what am I wearing tomorrow? Like, all you do is think about what you're going to wear the next day.

All you do is shop on Amazon for a new wig to wear for the weekend. What are you talking about? That's why you don't have shit for your wedding, don't you? He's mad at everyone for having these silly conversations. When they've had to endure a summer of Kyle and Amanda fighting throwing glass, slamming doors and screaming and all that. Like you don't think that's annoying for them

when they're trying to have fun. So now they arrive at this restaurant and Carl has a big announcement. Hey, all we used to call him a lot. We haven't been here a lot a year or two. Chris, it is not. That's square pizzas here. Well, we like microwave pizzas,

but I'm sure they're good. I'm not even gonna let the waiter bring them over. Like, when it's time to be served, I'm gonna go get them from the kitchen, so I don't put them out. Because the guy's supposed to make tea. Yeah, I'm just gonna take everyone's orders from the restaurant, it's that school.

So, Paige makes Kyle sit next to Amanda, and he seems like she really pained at the prospect of having to do that. And Carl's like, hey, I have a suggestion. Everyone put your phones right in here and this little little pluck up I'll have. I don't just for dinner. Okay, because this is like Carl 6.0 and Carl 6.0 wants to have conversation. So put your phones in here. I hate when people do that. It's so annoying. It's so like, it's just like, it doesn't, I don't know. It doesn't improve anything. It's just, to me, all it does is, it's like a, it's an exercise to make the person doing it look like

they are care about something deeper than what they do. But they really just look like the person who's not getting texts. You know, everyone's like, of course, see that, of course that guy doesn't want to stop our phones. So then Kyle's just downing a martini, a huge martini, he just chugs it.

Because they got to express some martinis for the table. And well, he has like just a regular one that he just downed like a full-on Grey Goose, just down the hatch. And I'm like, hi, all you ever eaten anything? And no one else has finished their beverage just to give it a moment. He's like, oh, he's already shit-faced. He's like, shitfaced in two minutes.

So he's like, Alex, we're the extra martini. Oh, it's really, and pages like, guys, we're gonna have one cohesive conversation for our last dinner. Okay, what's the topic be? I know my dreams of being a fashion correspondent. Charleston has really human weather I read. Is that gonna be okay?

Danielle, you were getting on my last note. So Lucas trying to talk. Yeah, look like guys, let's share stuff about each other and crowd goes, I'm not a good share. Oh, I share. He's like, well, I meant this is gonna pivot to me now. So, you know, I wasn't here last weekend. So I'm gonna pretend to make this

about someone else for a second before I Have a monologue so lens. I heard it was a rough time with your guy. What's going on? I'm what that's like I can't even say Santa be door aligns Shannin' be door aligns. Pinnin' it. Oh yeah, but by the way, the proper use of putting a pin in it. So then, yeah, then he's like, well, you're not here, but I'll call him

when I'm back, really? Handles? And so Paige is like, does it make you nervous that there's been like three competitions because you don't deserve that? I mean, at your age, you deserve just kindness and comfort. Have you seen Matlock, you should really get into it. That's really good for your group.

You know, you really deserve right now, mushy food. Can we get a side of mashed potatoes over here? Thank you. Have you looked into Boniva? So then Lindsay's like, Well, that's why I decided to put a bit in it. And Carol says, yeah, but I feel like you're in the hot seat

a lot. And she goes, yeah, it's like walking on cold. And I love walking on cold. And he's like, but I just want to make sure you're good because like, cut on ones that you dive in like a week after knowing someone. Well, I dive in because I'm not wasting any time. And so Amanda goes, but do you think that when you dive in, it scares people away because you're like 110% like right off the bat.

Oh my God, here we go again. It's many of your fucking business. You don't even like Lanzi, shut up. And so Lanzi's like, yeah, I'm the one that's the right guy. He won't be scared away. And Danielle goes, it's cold hot, oh, summer.

Thank you. Yeah. When it's the right guy, he won't be scared away, but he still will be scared. He'll just be in the house like, oh my God, did I's the right guy who won't be scared away, but he still will be scared He'll just be in the house like oh my god. Did I do everything right? He'll just be like making sure the towels are completely even in the kitchen You know like wiping everything down properly. Isn't there a movie called let the right one in about vampires?

Or something yes, so Kyle's like Lindsey were literally just trying to help You say but I'm not though like I'm just giving my own two cents, which is by the way the most man's playing anything, right? You should listen, because there's this guy who's telling you something, so you should be appreciative. That man is telling you something. And he's like, we're just trying to help Lindsay.

She goes, help a whine! And Amanda says, it's not me tag Lindsay, it's just like, you're stupid and insecure and psycho and nobody likes you. You know, it's like Amanda's whole tone to me. It's making me nuts. So they're just claiming to be worried. And Lindsay's, Lindsay goes, by the way, Amanda's doing this.

Lindsay, we're just trying to help. Well she twirls, you know when people do that, they twirl their ring. And I guess it's like, yeah, she's twirling her engagement ring around while she's talking to Lindsay about how insecure she is in relationships. That's just so. So Lindsay starts saying, you know, it gets twisted that I'm having the best summer in my life

and she doesn't even get to finish what she's saying because then Kyle just goes, Lindsay, you had a miscarriage. And everyone's like, that is disgusting. That is just fucking wrong in disgusting. I can't believe. They, yeah, I mean, they can't believe that.

I'm not defending Kyle. I'm, I think in his mind he's thinking like, like you're, you're avoiding that you had this like tragedy in your life. But like to, I feel like to sort of scream that out in the table And I don't know who this just goes to and not told it's personal thing. It's not up for him to She's told her not you don't say that Anyone ever who would say you had a miscarriage

But he's like trying to give her some sort of weird tough love that she's not at she doesn't need and like this is not This is not his ministry. Especially from the drunk idiot losing his fucking marbles at the end of the table because he's trying to avoid getting into a marriage. He was kind of forced into in the first place. And you know what, Lindsey handled it so well. God, I don't know how she had this point. She goes, try not to scream that cow, please. I was like good like she did not even deserve, he did not even deserve that common answer. It's cracking me up that they're just trying so hard to piss Lindsay off. I mean, when you come at Lindsay with a miscar,

like twice in the same night coming after Lindsay, trying to use a miscarriage to make her go crazy and she will still not give you what you want. I mean, this is why Lindsay wins. Okay. Yeah, I mean, there's a way to have this conversation, which is that you are both sober and you sit down and you're like, I want to do a check-in because I know you suffered an incredible loss.

And I just want to make sure that like what you're like these relationships, this is coming from a healthy place. You know, there's a way to have like a conversation. This was happening before this. Lindsay's been like this. She just had the miscarriage. It's like she's been like this the whole time Like Lindsey you're acting so different now because of a miscarriage. It's like hey And even to set herself she's been like this since she came out of it. We just

It was like her mom abandoned her Yes, yeah, so Myos like I would not bring that up here. And so then Kyle becomes the victim. He goes, I'm so fucking done. He is the one who is now, you know, like, like, he was on the receiving end of something, like a brutally said to him.

And then Kyle, Amanda misunderstands him, because he says everyone, he's like, I'm done. And she's like, no no everyone here is not dumb. Stop saying stupid shit Kyle. Stop. And let's he's like oh my god. Can everyone just chill? Like this is about my storyline and you're the ones acting like this, right?

And so Amanda is now yelling at Kyle and crying and being like be nice Kyle. Be polite be kind. Listen to people. Kyle. And he's like I'm more kind than you. I mean, you're just in your little world. Yeah, I think that was just saying to him, is when he said, I'm done, I think she said, well, not everyone else here is done.

So you have to listen to them, you know? But it's still sort of the same, it actually has the same effect, same outcome. And so now I'm in, it's like 100%, I'm in my own world and it's a happy and beautiful place to live. Like, why are you saying it takes? And now she's crying. And she's like, my own little world is happy and you go, then look like it.

I was like, yeah, I was like, kind of like you are her world. You are her own little world. And you literally don't look very happy. So, it's Lindsay's like, um, there's a 37 year old male across me and no one's questioning him like, basically being like, you got like, he's fucking everything inside. Luke is fucking everything inside. Luke is 37? She was not talking about Luke.

No, Luke is, yes, Luke. Wow, really he's not. Uh-huh. Oh my God. Yeah, you know? Wow, Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke. We met Luke. At the start of our tour, we met Luke.

Good gorgeous. Yeah, really. Why you look like Luke in person? Yeah, that is something else that you're here I'm like talking directly to Luke. But that is incredible. Luke. Yeah.

This has to be like thanks, Jim. He's so sweet. Okay, so anyway, Lindsay is like, yeah, why aren't you guys questioning him? And Luke's like, okay, Jim. He's so sweet. Okay, so anyway, Lindsay is like, yeah, why aren't you guys questioning him? And Luke's like, okay, I'll take questions. Yeah, I thought it was weird that Luke was like, I'll take questions, because I thought she was talking about Carl.

Like, there's a 37 year old guy who's questioning him. And Luke's like, I'll take questions. I just want to talk tonight, okay. So Lindsay is like, well, how many girls have you hooked up with this summer? And he goes, I hand full, she goes, Oh my God, I hand full.

Hey, Luke. Oh, hi, this is Carl from the Associated Pros. Look, tell us about Nicole. I love to hear about Nicole. Well, you know, I went swipe up on my cell phone. And then I thought, shake what a Twitter Instagram first. And I chose Instagram. You know what? You was crazy. And also, oh, God, I'm trying to talk again.

Yeah. So now Luke tries to tell this fascinating monologue of this girl. Yes. And no one will let him. So everybody starts talking to them. It's like, this is by the way, very impressive at it.

Because it's like three different conversations have anyone. Luke is like trying to talk. And we cut to page. He's talking to Lindsay saying, I think that there's actually a huge double standard when it comes to like young women like me and people who are seniors like you you know yeah cuz I'm single in New York and I'm living like for a different man and every other girl and we haven't slept together so but like I was looking in my pocket this is actually a very good meal. I really like this food a lot.

I'm taking shit more interesting than the conversation at this day. Oh wow, what glad there's like a lot of other conversations happening when I'm trying to talk things guys. I mean, so what men can date young women, but look at you and old women, why can't you date a young person? Yeah, hey, does anyone want to just do a post-mates order? I know it's sort of unconventional to it out of restaurant, but I'm just sort of missing it. Have you ever gotten into a car, crashed into a younger woman and then yelled to Wanda and driven away? Actually, I have.

Oh my God, you guys. I'm glad there's so many conversations while I'm trying to talk And now Kyle because he's literally talking he's literally talking and when he's like is everybody at the square table is questioning me like that's part of society Well, that's what I've been doing with my life. Thanks everybody. Thanks for letting me talk trying to let me talk I'll be trying to talk for like the best 45 seconds, okay? I mean nobody knows that nobody. I mean tennis skirts in my right Lindsey even old people You know what it hides tennis you know it hides very close veins not tennis skirts but still tennis skirts When you fall and you can't get up is that something you actually enjoy Lindsay Glad no one's listening to me and then I'll just

Mommy's like god damn it. There's 14 conversation going on It was very 20th century American playwright At that moment it was definitely like the awkward family scene where someone slams. Yeah. Oh, you know, and like it's like Craig T Nelson. Yeah. It's like the Florida dinner theater version. Craig T Nelson. I think I think I saw him in all wilderness. That's why I came to that. So Kyle's like I don't even know, so a matter of like runs off going Everybody's checking their restaurant buzzers to see if it's time to be sad. I know is there like an amber alert

So he's like I don't know what she's crying. I mean like it tables that I've been I liked to be at your list Okay, he's like there's 12 okay? You're gonna have side conversations. Do you think Jesus acted like this with the 12 disciples? No, he just gave them more wine and listened to the conversation. And he also wore awesome fashion. By the way, Paige is the one who like just five minutes really was like, let's guys try to have like

one coherent conversation. And now she's like, there's gonna be side conversation. Yeah. And especially when it's Luke, because she never gives Luke any kind of respect in any way, right? She hates Luke. So she's like, you don't have to be the dictator

at the dinner table. He goes, oh yeah, call me the dictator at the dinner table one more time. Or what? What are you gonna do? I know. Kyle. And then she goes, dictator at the dinner table.

Oh yeah. She's like, you are not in charge of us all the time. Carl and go, you're not gonna get out of here. Yeah, raise your voice in public. Keep going, keep going. Okay, you're talking to someone who just did a segment on Access Hollywood with someone from Road Rules.

Okay. This is amazing, by the way, I love that she does not care. I love Kyle trying to be boss of everything all the time. I love that that page has that actually. I love that, you know, she's like, she is, that when people actually do try her, she has no problem pushing back.

That's actually really great. So he storms off, he's like, ah, ah, and someone's like, what's the problem with you guys? And she goes, I don't know. I don't even know why the fuck a man is marrying you. Like he's a psychopath when he's mad and then Drake does Do you think it's because he's working to free and every day? And then page like I'll piss off every but that was Alex who said that which was another thing like shut up

Shut the fuck up Alex right and pages like oh Piss off everybody's working. I'm so sick at that excuse I don't know how the fuck she lives with him especially Considering that they probably played full price for all their outfits. I mean everyone's working. I'm so sick of that excuse. I don't know how the fuck she lives with him, especially Considering that they probably played full price for all their outfits. I mean everyone's working. Have you heard of tennis skirts? Yes, you have that to me who did that, okay? Look Sierra model right now. So you're like, ah So then Sierra goes off at the mandat while Amanda cries like every episode someone has to go console Amanda and someone has to go console Kyle every episode Okay, and then on top of that man is like I mean a fucking beat I'm just like so done with the Lindsey thing. I don't want her to think that we're judging her for being single and seeing guys

I'm like you literally are you literally are that's what you're doing Yeah, so you just don't want to be called judgmental. That's why you're crying, but you don't want to not be judgmental. But then the real issue surfaces and then this morning we found out our floors is backing out so we have to figure that out. It's like, you know what? Go to the supermarket and just get a bunch of flowers just buy it. Just buy them when it's your market at this point. Do you know?

Yeah. So Kyle and Carl now Carl's consoling Kyle. So Kyle's like, I love time to do shit. And he's like, yeah bro, but like, you get some of the table, because like, two girls, like I know the guys are like, boom, boom, boom, boom. But two girls, they're like, ooh, you said, like, you can't do that.

He's like, but I was upset for Luke, okay? Cause I was like trying to, and I was trying to give a love to have Fulinsy too, because they're like starting to gang up on Lindsay. You wereanging up on Lindsey you were the one who just screamed you had a miscarriage at the table Yeah, listen the girls were so like a slum of the table It's just a lot so like as a friend where at a restaurant I know it's tricky because it's weird because no one around me and food that's been opposed to me It's which I'll do later, but let me just tell you relax relax, relax, hold it, but your way down me, but your way down me, bro. Yeah. It's got a suck to be sober here,

because Carl has done this many a time where he's had a fucking fit at the restaurant. Yes. Climb the table, done whenever and stormed off. But you know, like, you have that. I'm like, no, no, no, I'll never forget that. That was one of the coolest things that I will never forget. Jules was so mean. things that I will never forget jewels was so mean so Who are like all team jewels like wow, let's take a moment and remember jewels No jewels she's like how does she try work? Yeah, so then so then Amanda's like she's

See her's like come on Amanda shake it off. She's like I'm probably gonna cry a lot more this weekend I guess we should go eat it's like wow can't wait for that Amanda for your labor day weekend of crying. Yeah, can't wait for the final prom cry episode. So everybody's back at the table now. And Paige just mad. She's like, I'm not even hungry, which is totally different for me in every other moment of the show when I'm not hungry. But like, I'm still not hungry. And I'm mad about it right now. So cause like, alright first, I wanna apologize for eating the table, but like I don't burden you guys with my problems. Again, since when?

We all know about the florists. He is. I'm in a lawsuit, I have a hundred thousand legal fees, I have four million dollars in debt, I'm expanding to eight states, our florists dropped out. No one's listening to Luke. I was like, okay, man, you're just grasping. Someone dropped a napkin on the floor. We have to get a replacement for it now. What's up with rectangle tables? Can I get a square table? So Amanda's, she's

like, she's saying that Kyle doesn't, she's like, well, you don't practice what you preach. And like, that's why I like, I get get so and you get so mad on someone else's behalf But like then you do the same goddamn fucking thing I think it drops everyone all fucking nuts and pages like Obviously you guys are like very stressed out and like you have a wedding in three weeks No, it's actually three weeks now and we have no idea what you're going through But we had no idea going through a lawsuit But like and we had no idea the flowers dropped out. She's like trying to, like, I guess, run empathize. And Kyle goes, everyone is worried about their prom outfit,

and I'm going to do something a little more fucking substantial shit, okay? I'm like, and everyone's like, okay, Kyle. Yeah, I know you're not really. We know you're not. And Maya's like, so was everyone else. Yeah. Do you know how hard it is making fucking cookies?

Ronnie does. Ronnie fucking knows. And so everyone starts yelling over each other making it about themselves. And Daniels just going, time out, time out, then cost storms out. And Daniel's like, well, wait, I'll stick Daniel. You were the one starting a fight with Daniel and are between Amanda and Kyle two weeks ago. So stop acting like you're the peacemaker here too. Okay, all of you just shut the fuck up. Also, thank you for a great show. Really loved it. I was cracking up at this show. So good. And that's the end of the episode. So everyone says to the end. It brings us the end. Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening. We'll see you hopefully a bunch of you guys tonight and all week long.

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