Watch What Crappens - Summer House: #MoreStrife

Episode Date: March 12, 2020

Carl acts like a total jackass this week on Summer House and Jordon is back to try to get a boner. It doesn't work. For this week's premium bonus recap of Family Karma, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live is coming to Salt Lake City, Vancouver, Orlando, Charleston, Oklahoma, Asbury Park NJ, Toronto, Washington DC, San Francisco and Boston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on geobroads as usual. It's me Ronnie and that's been over there. Hi, Bane. Hi. Hey, Dune, baby. Great thanks, who are you? Good. Guys, next week we're going to be in Salt Lake City. Guys, come see us. We're going to record our episode of Real House Wises of New Jersey, the last episode of the season. Um, works really excited to be there so come see us. Then the following month, we're going to Charleston to recap the first episode of the season of Real House Wises of New York. And the night before we'll be in Orlando doing some of houses. So from tickets, go to watch itcrapins.com.

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and thanks to everybody for that support. But now it's a very important thing to announce summer house day. Everybody is summer. Yeah, somehow. Oh my God, this episode had me dying. It was like peak Carl, peak Lindsay, peak Jordan, peak page, peak everyone. Everyone was peak on this episode.

Your cell pic. Peak Jordan, Peak Page, Peak Everyone, everyone was peak on this episode. You're so peak. Yeah, so peak right now. I don't know what you're gonna say on this show, you're so peak. Yeah, oh my god, I'm peakin', are you peakin'? Yeah, I'm peakin' guys, I'm totally peakin'. Totally peakin'. Do not fuck with me, bro. Alright. I just wanna have fun, I just wanna have fun.

You know, I'm trying to hit my peak and here's's like I'm just trying to have fun at my peak. Get off my peak, bro. Yeah, I totally have my dick in that peak first, bro. So the big cliffhanger from last week was that Carl broke up with Lindsay and of course he framed it as if he was doing her a favor, you know, which he was not doing. But he broke up with her and she was pissed, so she went into the bathroom to cry, understandably. So that's where we are. Once again, we didn't even get our theme song, we didn't get our...

You know My god position It's like maybe it'll be less painful if I am hearing that from the couch instead of the floor Yeah, I think someone think I'm having an extra system here Yeah, I didn't notice that Lindsey said when she was Pist off and leaving last week leaving the scene. She's like oh my god Now you're like more life in me. Yeah, I went you more life me. I'm out of here Yeah, once you more like me, I'm out of here. I

Mean that's the realest thing Lindsey's ever said. I mean there are a lot of times I'm like who is this girl, but at that moment I really connected with her Don't more life me fuck and then Lindsay's sobbing in the bathroom and it's 7-11 Which is like supposed to be a lucky number you trickie editors. No, it's it's so cruel to like show a to be a lucky number, you trick he editors. No, it's so cruel to like show a footage of Lindsay, but also footage of naturals. Those are just two concepts that don't match. And Carl's like, oh, fucking crazy. That's fucking crazy.

Good. Good stream. So then downstairs, you may have forgotten that the gang is preparing for truly the worst potluck seeing on television since, I mean, like, a potluck that's worse than anything the food never can't turn at us with the kitchen or whatever they do.

This is the worst potluck. And Luke is continuing to babble on about this, to an assaulid. I mean, he was talking about it last week. He's like, hey, see if some move from my to an assaulid or got to an assaulid coming through. Guess what? Is everyone excited for a Minnesota to an assaulid?

Yeah, so this week he's down there still talking. He's like, yeah, put, you know, cheese and celery and onion and mayo and mustard. Sometimes I put tin foil in there if I'm filling up for a challenge. Don't microwave it though. Come to the next. You know, Nichols. It's great. So good math recipe. Red hearts. Cool hearts. We got cool hearts in Minnesota, actually. So if we put cool hearts in there, all likes, I don't like Mike. So I separate the mics that I can make.

So I just put some mics in there. Just the mics. Uh, we, I would I do is I cut a bunch of M&Ms in half. So whether just M's, I put them in there too. So Amanda is sitting outside drunk and she's like, Oh my god. What did she say? She's like, I don't know Kyle. I don't know where does my son is.

And he's like, you need to develop a Tiction's Babe. We need to develop some addictions. I'm hobby is being and he's a developer. So we're just going to like disregard my addiction to making guacamole me I thought that was kind of my thing so thanks Kyle so um Kyle's giving a hand job to a the kitchen faucet and Carl comes to us like oh more like like checking for a lot to get attention from the boys so that'd be like yeah brown Carla exactly it totally reminded me of like a some sort of like middle school moment, you know, like,

oh, I'm sad right now. I want everyone's attention. Look at me, I'm damaged in the hurt. So I'm drinking fireball to draw my sorrow away. I'm so damaged right now you guys, even though I totally just victimized somebody. All right, feel that for me, drinking some fireball. Yeah, and so.

Ligina, we had a good conversation. Friend's man, friends, okay. I mean, she basically said, I heard her, we went this way, Crosper pulling a UE this way, but the funny thing is, it was more of a K-turn, so jokes on her, yeah, more life. Then she does more life, which is unforgettable.

Like, yeah, she's been like more life, whatever it is. And then my mother's like, oh my god, I'm like, go and champ on her. So, she's like, get the rosé, it's an emergency. Yes, look, yes, well, Lizzie, like, this direction is fun, but I like this direction better. So, uh. Yeah, apparently Lindsay is like a huge fan of the Seminole Boy band, One Direction.

And I'm not really about that life I'm about more life, you know, I'm saying It's for you. They'll be a my comedy album. Mm-hmm Carl does I'm like why is it 98 degrees in here? I'm why do I fucking love it? You know what it's one of those days where boys have to become men right boys to men I just don't feel like we're in sync. So bye, bye, bye. I had to make a sole decision about this and that's where we're at. No, no.

It's not a calling. So tools join the girls for the Lindsay sob fest. And she think, Oh, hang on. My name is hanging on me. I'm lying on me. I'm lying right now. We're friends and like, I was gonna grow up.'m hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging on, I'm hanging yeah, I'm upset. It's hard. And Amanda's hugging your cheeks. It's okay to cry. I cry all the time.

I'm in a terrible, dead end relationship that I can't get myself out of because there's a comfortable bed in it for me. So I just cry. And it's amazing. It makes you feel good for a little bit until you have to cry again. So just cry. Let it out. I hope that Carl gets a really nice car to help soften the blow. It really does help.

I just am like, I'm like, don't know if it's gonna go back to what it was. Like, who's gonna be with me to take stupid photos at Lexa's dealerships now? Who's gonna do that for me? And Hannah's like, Hannah gets the worst advice ever, by the way. Hannah's like, don't worry, it'll go back. Like, who cares? That's not what you tell her. You tell her, get rid of that fucking loser.

Why would you even be friends with somebody to treat you that way? Fuck that guy, get him kicked off the shows, get someone out of here, okay? I've already done this one model, okay? I'm done with him, let's get somebody else. Yeah, like please, just a, just a, just a note to everyone in New York City, please don't,

please don't like regret or pine for a friendship with Carl. Just don't do that, don't do that, don't go into that, down that path. All you're going to get out of is a pancake and an Instagram opportunity. So Carl's like, okay, okay, all right, let's get these guys going. All right, it's enough of feeling bad for like the true victim here, me, all right, let's get some get some us off to just cook. All right. So yeah, let's do that he's alone with Kyle grilling and he's like oh dude bro thank you for helping me out with Lindsay because that was crazy it's

fucking crazy it's like I had to push you bro like could you imagine if you had sex with her yeah I mean thank god you only finger bang to without kissing I mean, thank God you only finger-banked her without kissing. I mean, otherwise this would have been a total disaster, right? Right. Murder, bro. Murder, it was the murder, bro. So then, now there's like a montage of everyone getting ready for dinner, which meant that we got the classic Summer House jam. Hey, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,

I'm like, thanks for this montage of people like getting napkins and like pulling plates out. Thank you. Thank you producers. The biggest drama of the episode. Hannah going, um, we forgot the bagel bites. We forgot the bagel. Oh, they're okay. They're actually okay. What is this potlock? Okay, there's burgers a tuna salad bagel bites It's a giant sausage basically a Giant fuck you to wait watchers. This is what it is. Yeah, it's a pot bad luck. Yeah, it's everything So let me Womp, that's what W. W stands for the new wait watchers. Womp, womp, womp

So they're all they're all all down there at the table, but Lindsey's not there yet. So like I wonder what Lindsey's ETA is and Carl goes, oh, a quarter to never. Oh, like dude, you just broke up with her. Don't mock her for like having an emotional moment and don't make me stand up for Lindsey either, by the way. He's trying to make it like he's the victim at so funny.

So he has eating a sausage and his, Luke and Hannah are are flirting of course. Well, you can take that whole thing. Wow, you go girl. When you go, you want to go bowling? Come on. Yeah. So I'm like, when in everyone means so we can

judge. I made tuna salad. I made tuna salad. Everyone did you hear? I made tuna salad. My mom's recipe. Yeah. And Macaroni.

She has their cold shawbals. Salad everyone did you hear I made a ton of Salas my mom's recipe. Yeah, I'm there called Shalba's Just please please call tell me a season. Okay, even if you have to lie just tell me it's good I mean I need to I need to be good cow. This is like my one insecurity life I'm like I am a beautiful beautiful man with who can get any girl I want I can do anything I can in the world, but my one kryptonite Is bad to an a salad just please tell me it's good. Please so Jules is like Um, I made the chili my grandfather brought a hat by the hamburger

Join in Chicago and then he introduced chili the shit and Lindsay just like Blitz barges in and Story Jules actually has an incredibly fascinating backstory about, because we went to Cincinnati, and we had the famous Cincinnati chili. We had a skyline, not a gold star, but those like the two competing things.

So, Jewels starts telling the story, like, yeah, my dad kind of started, it's like a culinary, cultural, milestone for Cincinnati. Hi, I'm butter now. Oh, I thought it was in Chicago. No, since an addy remember this in that it's really me. Oh, yeah, that is famous there because I was thinking it's

chilly famous in Chicago. I've never heard that before, but whatever jewels you're cute. So you know, go for it. But like, let's just write it. During her like our development. Yeah, let's just ruin it. And she's like, and Chicago became famous for it. So is this really a special moment? And she's like, and Chicago became famous for chili.

So is this really a special moment? I remember the last time I saw my grandfather, he told me, Hi, Hi. My grandfather is living the American dream. He came to America and said, you know what, American means to fart more. And that's where our family business Gold Star Chili came from. Uh huh.

So Carl eating at Chili's like, ah, Jules, high five, good stuff, good stuff, yeah, good stuff. And he gets like a high five. Just someone knows, so Carl. And Amanda's like, Jordan, what did you make? And he's like, um, I made the soggy sweet potato fries. I'm like, of course you made a limp fucking. Oh, of course you did.

Amanda's like, I'm too much olive oil. Yeah, I was afraid there was too much olive oil. I learned the recipe actually from Julia Child herself. Yeah, not from when I was a young boy, but she actually came to me in a dream and said, here, here's the recipe I never got to make in my book, but I want to give it to you, Jordan. So I tried to make it be faithful to her, but I think I was so caught up with an erection

I had in the kitchen that I wasn't paying attention to how much olive oil I was pouring on that recipe. Oops. Sorry, I'm just reminiscing about the first time that Julie child touched me with a spatula on my cornhole. What were we talking about again? By the way, also, I like to win jewels to tell you about her grandfather and how he started up this famous Cincinnati chili.

And she goes, well, I know where I get my entrepreneurial blood from. I'm like, what do you do again? By the way, what? What? Sticker designer. I'm in a sticker designer. Like last time I saw you were sitting in cafes,

faced some of your mom. Is that is that a business you started? FaceTime Jules mom. Gold star stickers. It's like, uh, that's been done before. I invented stars. The network, the, the, the celestial body or the concept of celebrity, because those are all been here before. Stickers. So, um, I wanted to make my own brazenes out of it, but I couldn't.

That was having too many bombazations. I'm sorry, Lindsay, you weren't able to put those three ingredients together. You said you cut out the three balls of something and put them on a plate. Come on. Please don't get crazy shame us right now. Like literally you could even have done a deconstruct. You could have just grabbed a pile of basil, grabbed it, the, the, the matzarella and grabbed a tomato and thrown on a plate and say,

do I do something? Do do you guys rock them yeah uh I don't know if they're really comrades like and Carl goes oh really yeah the case you forgot Carl you just broke up with her I don't know if you remember that that is something you did uh so I think Carl is on the defensive because he's ready for Lindsay to come for him at dinner and she's not at all. She's like, totally fine and totally cool. She's not being a drama queen. She's like,

I mean, she just said that thing, but it wasn't, you know, she wasn't coming for him. She's not being a drama queen. She just fully passive aggressively through Carl under the bus for her Caprice salad absence there of Yeah, I mean for Lindsay that's not that she now yeah that's not that And deserved it by deservedly so yeah I should I should so Carl's like let's give a toast all right And these cars like oh stand up stand up if you're coming toast my man Yeah, let's stand up terms God I really wish I had a Caprice salad right now to wash down those toes but go on y'all I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Command and just like her dad jokes and like her cruelty about other people's limp fries And she doesn't stop there this episode so cause like so long story short big happy family by lover boy So Jules is like well, um, I guess they're asking Jules. What's going on her and Jordan? I don't remember how this came up But she says that they're in a good place and Hannah's like, oh, yeah, would you take her home to mom? Huh, and so Hannah's like, oh yeah, would you take her home to mom? And so Jordan's like, um, yeah, I would definitely take Jules home to Sherry Verroy.

She's met many of my girlfriends including Kendall, Kylie and Kendall Jenner. Yes. Faye Donaway was her favorite. Oh, she just loved Faye, but I'll tell you who she loved the most. Kathy Moriarty. Wow, what a pistol. Sad that one didn't work out. So, um, he's like, yeah, we're in a good place. And she goes, yeah, we're happy. And Hanukkah is out. Yeah. So in Jordan, it's like, um, yeah, you know, I can't wait to bring her home to mom. And Jules is like, um, we're not ready, but I'm honestly flattered. He's so sweet. And we can work on the sex life. Right.

Right. Tell us more about chili. I like the way you carry yourself. I mean, laying in bed with you is super nice. Isn't that funny that I said the way you carry yourself and laying in bed? That's two different states of being wow and Carl and Kyle are laughing because he's just laying in bed and Lindsay's like Can you name their last song? And look it's like yeah, that's way thiker you know, you know Hannah I necked in your door last night

And I was like why did you knock? That's so aggressive. We haven't even gone on a date yet. Well, you know, I needed to get your thoughts on if I should start marinating my tuna salad the night before actually was a totally benign question. But anyway, I figured it out myself. It's like, well, I don't feel guilty about our mom, okay? But now that I know, I really feel about me.

You know, because like, you know, because some drunk girl in a party told you. Yeah, that's from Lindsay. Yeah. I was just looking for way out of our mom because I think she's like, well, I could be dating a guy who talks like he's in the witness protection program or I could be dating a male model. So he did not have a really good scene at the end of Star Wars though. No, this is a mod I have brought here.

So cool. Fee. No. Master Darth Vader did that. It's like we just didn't see all of Darth Vader. Like we like maybe we should see the other side of Darth Vader that's like. All right Before we destroy this planet

I've got everyone some lattes In the monitor here Yeah, and which is actually any day of baby and good new tips or what? He's like you know what and a everyone's all new editing and It's really fuck drove for about the other The editing and really fuck throw for about the other My friends actually you can can vouch that I actually a fun person. I'm great with ping pong Of course, I manipulate the ball with a force, but that's neither here nor there

I'm like I'll be the judge of that No, and it's like hey Jor's Vader way go, way to play bad ping pong towards Vader, huh? Uh, so, um, uh, so car, so anyway, so Hannah and Luke, they're being flirtatious and Luke's gonna, they're talking about how Luke is gonna take Hannah out on a date and Carl, the biggest cock block, because no one could, he can't just be miserable alone. And he's like, oh, well, you know that,

I don't see anyone right? Like, seriously, I mean, answer the fucking question, dude. You, oh, well, you know that, I don't know, seeing someone right, like, seriously, I mean, answer the fucking question, dude. You know that, right? You know that, right? Right, right. And Luke doesn't care, obviously, right. So Luke just laughs and Carl's like,

answer the fucking question, dude. Carl's like super aggressive and Luke goes wow And then he says It's called oh and one If it was called oh and one why isn't there an e isn't one spelled oh and e like seriously everyone high five high five Amanda high five bridge

I'm on water Oh, I'm on water and cargo's oh no Lindsay okay, we're friends. Okay. We're friends Break up with her again like what the hell yeah, she's pulling himself more By the way, that's not the appropriate answer to drink a bottle of water. I know. We're friends. He's just gonna break up with her in every sentence. Yeah, so she's like, um, no, me.

Don't activate me because you're not seeing me activate it. Okay. Honestly, obviously you must say in me for somebody who gives a shout. We're broken up. By the way, we're just fine. Carl, don't drop, you know, there's lovely tuna salad and chicken sausage, a crazy salad list dinner, okay?

That, the root dick it was, or else later, fucking lame ones we were. I like how you made him sound sort of like an air pump So then Lindsay is like like she just leaves the table and crawls like whatever I don't care I don't care. I didn't want to crazy anyway. I didn't want one anyway I'm telling that crazy when it comes to the table the word just friends and that's it And Lindsay goes and signing, he's on one. He's on one.

He's on one. What is he bringing out of my, oh, Amanda's like, well, he wants to be with you, but now he can't be with you. And now he's mad. I'm so mad at him right now. And Amanda's like, you know what Kyle got cold feet and like I want to give up on Kyle so many times, but he's like lucky that I was willing to wait and that I have no self worth. He's lucky. Yeah, congrats on that prize. Wow. So Hannah is like, um, did

it end bad for you guys or what Carl? he's like oh, it is great for me Do it it was great until I found out there'd be no crazy solidity or which I thought was honestly it left out I mean she's punching all of us for her own Breaking up with me because she broke up with me in this case. I'm I'm I'm damaged. Yeah, no caprazy me no deity all right more life Right on my favorite tennis player no caprazy me no deity. All right more life right on my favorite tennis player or Jennifer caprazy audio. Yeah So then in the kitchen Jordan tells Hannah is like Hannah you've got what is she on her back? You got burned on your back of some brain

Yeah, I know you got some burned on your back Reminds me at the time I met Bruce Willis and the Alps and I was laying down getting a blow job from One of the little igloo ladies and then we went surfing on the moon together and to me more came down as they don't touch my man and Bruce Willis was like Sorry, and we all laughed and laughed It was a hilarious hilarious time. We got along so well together we actually took a road trip. Yeah, we took a road trip to Los Angeles and we got a flat tire at the Grand Canyon and low in the whole Batman Lou was there with a wrench. She just got out of car training and she fixed it all for us. So we drove with Batman Lou and then she sang a song to us. We dropped her off,

never saw her again, but we'll always remember her. So then Lindsay is sobbing in the closet. I guess I know and will bother her in the bathroom. I'm not sure, but she's in the closet. Yeah, she's changed rooms. Yeah, she's like, oh, she's changed small confined faces, spaces to sobbing. Yeah, and then the gang is planning to go out as we know this because Cal goes, hey, all you needle dicks, let's go to South Hampton social which is apparently the only place to go. Oh I heard that Juleon is closed. That's why we're not seeing much of Juleon.

It's closed. So there's that. Yeah there you go. Okay, someone was wondering, Lindsey's great PR did the trick. Oh Juleon. Juleon up house. Up house.

All house house. How's that Juleon account going? Carl don't activate me. Don't activate my dead account. Sorry we were working on the baby astrologers Where'd you pass? All house. All house. How's that? Jouwan account going? Carl, don't activate me. Don't activate my dead account. Sorry, we were working on the baby astrologers and you know, what was that baby thing she was working on? Baby tacos.

Baby tacos. I got the baby taco contract. Wow. Wow. That's right. The baby astrologers. That's from like two weeks ago. I forgot about that one. She just says really. She really need to get on the social for baby astrologers. Whatever that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it. So now it's party time. Everyone's like dancing around getting ready to go out and

jewels checks in on Lindsay and Lindsay's like crying. They jewels. I can't be around this guy. I've been activated and I can't be unactivated. Do not let him stop you from having fun. Look, we'll get separate ubers. But not on the main here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So Kyle's like, where's a mouse? Now even Kyle's calling her a mouse, which I do not approve of. And he's like, try to tell her that everything's gonna be okay. But she's like, no, I'm gonna stay home and think about the Caprizy sound that I almost made. I'm just like, try to tell her that everything's gonna be okay, but she's like, no, I'm just in a home and think about the Caprazi sound that I almost made. I'm just like, too many conversations.

Oh, so they leave Lindsay and Chulson Jordan and making out with a party and Lindsay, Lindsay's like, I'm going to bed in a leopards fanny park. Try to stop me from money. Lindsay basically is like, I'm gonna fall asleep on top of my bed, so I'm not like really sleeping, so that way if someone comes in to like convince me one more time to go to something I'm gonna social, I don't know.

I'll be like, fine, but then like no one goes into like, like, Lindsay, don't sleep. I know, no one goes to bed and they're leopard family pack, okay? I'm talking to her. I care about it's gonna come in here and say something, like, darling, no, and he doesn't. Yeah, like her legs were like hanging off the side.

It was like she was sitting at the edge of her bed and then she like went to sleep in a position that was like not a natural sleep position. She's like, well someone's gonna wake me up soon. I'm just getting a position for a few hours. So boom, they're home again because they can't shoot me. They can shoot at Southampton social I think, but I think that the users are like no one wants to see south-hand and social so yeah we're back. So Hannah and Luke are flirting and she's like oh your pants are kind of tight tonight right and he's like when they sit by the fire she's like no. I mean the time I made tuna salad. I'll talk with the salad by the fire. I want to the tot. Hey, have you ever roasted tuna salad on a fire?

Wanna try that? Hannah is playing Harry to get, but she doesn't really, she doesn't realize I play the land game. Right? I'm a new model. Mill model, land game. So Jordan and Jules are making out in bed. And she's like like I'm sexually selfish she goes oh yes man

From mind-see of the time when I had sex with Barbara Bush senior that is wow That's all I have to say about that I was like am I gonna make it am I gonna make it and then she mentioned going to dinner with and I was like, am I going to make it? Am I going to make it? And then she mentioned going to dinner with, and Richards, oh my God, splitched all over the kitchen counter. Talk about a bipartisan effort.

So, talk about a bipartisan effort. I was, doubly hard on that one. I was so hard, I is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking.

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So that would be Kale and Amanda's bad and they're like, you want a fog? And then Carl is in the kitchen with Luke and he's like, I'm going to take off my shirt. Yeah, do the cycle of the gym. Oh. Yeah, he's like, yo, I should I go to the gym? I mean, Luke doesn't care. You know, in the beginning, by the way, beginning of the season, when we looked at the trailer,

I was like, fuck this male model dude, who rides on a motorcycle and does jewelry, like what a douchebag. But then in the context of Carl, and watching how hard Carl tries, and how like Luke has that effortless swagger that comes with just being super hot and getting everything you want to do your whole life.

It's kind of just hilarious watching Carl just. Just unwrapping. Just trying so hard. It's so perfect. I know it's like watching some old guy on the street like get mad at the kids on the bikes. You know, like, all these kids on their bicycles. So Carl's talking to Luke about about Sarah from about about about I was a ballet from Barry's and he's like, Oh, can I tell you something for real?

Can I tell you something for real? Don't fuck with me. Okay. Don't fuck with me. I am wearing very tight white pants. Don't fuck with me. Don't fuck with me. And he slams the table. He's like, you don't fuck with me. I do fuck with me. And he slams the table. He's like, do not fuck with me. I did not. You don't want to see me activated. He's like, I'm right. Well, I'm going to go to bed. He's like, for real. I mean, for real. He's a good chat.

Good. Yeah. Good chat. There's some leftover tuna salad in the free. Just be a hungri-dator. So Carl's like, he's like, yeah, Sarah told me that Luke asked to go rock climbing. Like us first day, like, dude, don't talk to a girl that another guy is talking to. Also, who goes rock climbing?

Well, you're gonna rock too. Like, do not trust him. Do not trust. You took Page app for a pancake. You know, uh, Carl is not wanted to talk when it comes to etiquettes and like gentlemanly things. Sorry. Sorry to steal girls. Yeah.

So funny. So then the next morning, Carl gets up and Lindsay comes in with four coffees. He's like, oh, hey. And she just ignores him. So he goes down to the kitchen to follow her. And she's just ignoring him. And he's like, hey, I said, hey, and she just ignored them. So he goes down to the kitchen to follow her. And she's just ignoring him. I mean, he's like, hey, I said, hey, she's, oh, I'm I'm coming to my new home.

I'm going to my ring. You're basically juland to me. All right. We'll just say hi. Okay. Hi. Thanks. You're the worst rock.

I mean, my right lens and my right. Oh, you're still not talking to me. Oh, you woke up with her all over your face today so sexy Yeah, that reminds me about young Maria Schreiver I remember waking up next to her we were on the beach was It was a beach off the shores of Atlantis. We were there, the real island before it sank. Wow. The first time I came inside Cathy Bates, really sexy weekend. I remember taking romantic strolls with Cameron Mannheim

on Rohobe with Beach. Wow. And they tried to bone at some point, right? And he couldn't again. And she was like, it's too hot. Oh, it's too hot. And so Jules was like, oh, I feel so bad for Jordan. He must be so embarrassed. I just want to hug him and tell him it's going to be okay. That's how I felt about Jules when she said she couldn't

take this subway because it didn't accept Apple Pay. Bless her heart. So Carl's like, oh, this is coffee for me. And Carl's like, uh, that's from Lindsay. So if she's good with you, you could probably have one, but I would and Carl's like, oh, I'm drinking. Yeah. I mean, she's mad about like something. I'm like, really something you broke up with her.

Remember, remember when you said you were gonna actually work to make, you're gonna like commit to her and try to make this work, and then a week later, you broke up, that's what she's mad about. And she comes and she's like, I'm, are you talking about me? I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. Oh, so we have a conversation.

Lindsay, you co-flog. I just wanna be happy because we're friends. And she's like, um, we're friends, and nope, I've heard of it that way. My bad, not that, I fucked up. I fucked up. Lindsay, I got drunk, I blocked out, I got mad. I'm pretty sure I probably had a crazy salad, right?

Like, we didn't have a pollock without that, right? I can't remember, blocked out blocked out. I don't want to know do you want me to say angry how's that and it goes Lindsey oh my it's a back to jewels and Jordan are still cut laying wow you look really cute you're like a young god in and a Jimmy in here. Mm. I'm wanting him back next weekend. And how the cramps and the shows really in my bed. Ugh.

Sorry, we just had a hot sexual intercourse right on your bed. Guess you'll have to change the sheets on account of all the sex that happens right now. So everybody's getting ready, I guess, to leave. Yeah, everybody's getting ready to leave. The city time. So they pack up and everything.

And then we get a tricky monocle segue into New York City. Well, rock stars, you know, anyway, you know, and way. Yeah, that's like that song. You're everybody's beautiful. That Christine that's like that song. Everybody's beautiful. That Christina Aguilar, you are beautiful. No, you're only singing the Stugley people stop. Okay?

And like it, it's offensive. I take it, I take offense when people are like, Ronnie, I'm going to sing this song to you. You are beautiful. What the hell? What are you cutting me out of a trailer? Leave me alone. And then we see Jordan and Jules on a date.

Oh, serious question. Would you ever want to take me, Jordan? To Jordan? Get it? See what I did there? That's a little comedy I learned from Bobcat Goldthwaite. Not the comedian, an actual Bobcat named Goldthwaite, who I could communicate with because I learned

the power of animal communication when I fell and hit my rock once while trying to save Barbara Bush She's like do not ever assume things mr. Roy and he's like, oh mr. Roy that turns me on. What it's gone. It's gone So Lindsey's face timing her dad daddy Fred Dad you like my glaloo they like blue light blockers. Yeah, like a blue light blocker. Yeah. I got glasses of light in your own, like the more when you're when I was a kid, when you had your born size. And she's like, my parents got divorced when I was like three and my mom sucks but my dad is great. Well, it's like really hard to find guys who are like just as cool as my dad was because he was so good to me and like, it's like he's like really took care of me in a way that

no one else has and like I don't think I've had anyone since maybe like alright, it's like treated me well like that. All right. So then we go over to smash studios. Well, Kyle, oh, I was trying to play the ever music, but instead it turned into just a very serious transition. That was like wow.

A tricksy monical is depressing today. We transitioned to Kyle, like, oh, yeah, just calling to see how that meeting at Whole Foods right? Yeah, we're in Whole Foods, yeah. And then we're over at Smash Studios. Yeah, Hannah, she doesn't just have a burn on her back. She has a burn in her podcast name, burning and hell and she's recording her her podcast with Drake Bell who Hannah says is he's a god to us millennials just full of so much personality as you can see right here look at all this huge personality blazers

were personality he's nothing but personality cannot speak but he does have a pompadour. Glad we got him on the audio show. He looks like a rooftop in Santorini, but wow, he is just brimming with life of so much, so many things to almost say. Hey, Drake, can you speak Spanish? And he's like, Poco. He's like, oh my God.

Who is this guy? He is a Nickelodeon star. Oh, he is. Drake and Josh or something like that. Or it's just of the Drake's, of the famous Drake's, he's the one that's not as interesting. So yeah, you don't say. Yeah, I would say there's, I rank Drake first.

Then Francis Drake maybe just because he at least he explored things. I'm sure it was problematic. So maybe we'll take him down and then comes this Drake. Okay. Yeah, his hair is stupid. Okay, so that's what I have to say about him. So they do their broadcast and page comes in she's like, I'm sorry Sorry, I didn't bring you coffee, but I don't know you

Just I love that you just goes in and just nags the famous person Hannah says you're a got to millennials, but like I'm a got to coffee. So sorry So okay, I'll sit on your stupid podcast. All right. Okay. You've been talking. Oh, you never talking all right Get out of here stupid hair. All right. Oh, I see you like to also dress for less as well. Where's that from Ross? It's I love Gucci. Oh, I wouldn't know that So yeah, they start he leaves with a stupid stupid hair he leaves like really just stupid hair with him Just just go away So then

Pages like okay tell me literally everything that happened. I'll tell you what happened me and Perry We sat under that giant clock in his living room and we watched old episodes of Hill Street Blues and was terrible I want to drink with you guys more Well, I feel like Drake got nervous and we walked in she goes um that is so cute I love having that effect on man Um, so tell me literally everything. She said um well Jordan the hurricane came He's up with jewels, but there was drama about sex because like a matter was like did you or did you not have a working penis? Like seriously, no one cares about the sex. It's just like, did he lie about it or not?

And Jules really liked him. So, I guess that's it, right? Oh, and Luke, I'm going on a date with my boyfriend, Luke. It's like, oh my god, I knew this was gonna happen, but I also wanna point someone else, something else out. What I asked you, what was going on with your boyfriend? The one you said, what's Luke? Oh, oh well, okay.

I'm done with our mall, I'm done. Let's eat our mall, I'm done. Um, Paige is like, well, it's like, what's going on with you and Perry? Um, well, you know, it's just like been very low-key and gild, and I'm like really zen right now, which I know is exactly what people love on a reality show. So, um, guess what, I'm coming back, I'm gonna drink, I'm gonna going to be like, I have a beer and be like, I'm wasted and I'm going to cry somewhere. Yeah. She's like, I like him, but like it's moving fast. And I want to slow down, which

means getting drunk with my friends. So then Luke is in his black fatura waiting for his date with Hannah. Yeah. So they show up. Hannah shows up in like a black top of some sort. And he's, oh, I see you got that black memo, huh? Because you're wearing black and I'm wearing black and we're wearing black together. So it's almost like there was someone who wrote a memo that said, Hey, future person going on and they would look weird black. It's almost like that memo guys into you. And you got it, right? Yeah. you got the Stevie mix memo. Okay. Well at least you're wearing black I'll be Stevie you'd be the best. All right, but how could you treat me like that? I'm so mad at you

Like a landslide you know it also goes down like a landslide people who go into this bar take the slide Yeah, so I know these are gonna be these two are gonna be a cute couple because I'm really bored watching them And that's you know, that's how cute couples are you're like please die Yeah, they go to basically like a hipster Dave and busters and They play all these games like pink pong and bowling and ski ball and Hannah basically kicks Luke's ass with everything She's like how does it feel to lose to me? Okay, oh no Luke you threw the ski ball at the basketball. No Luke Luke. No, okay All right, no that pink pong pong ball is not for ski ball. You're getting no, Luke.

I feel like it's a place like Susan Sarandon would open, you know, like, I'm older, but I'm still sexing. A young man, I'll ping pong. Oh yeah, you know. Yeah, cause she has that ping pong club. Yeah, right. Yeah, Carol went to with Adam. Yeah, I she has that ping pong club. Yeah, right. Yeah. Carol went to with Adam. Yeah.

I love ping pong. And she didn't pick up any of the balls. They would just hit balls all around and they just like let them sit there. Yeah. Monster Carol, your monster. Yeah. So, so, yeah. So they're playing and Luke is, he's like, I'm smitten with Hannah.

You know, I'm really smitten. You know, our connection is not just about hooking up, it's deeper than that. It's about, it's about hooking up. Okay. It's bad fucking play no fucking and Instagram videos, you know, those are five, you know, ski ball. Hmm. So he tries to get a kiss and say, no, not rejecting you, just like not tonight. And he's like, oh, I'm cool keeping it casual. That's see how you feel after I wrap climb. All right, see you later. I did love that though, when he went in for the kiss

and she wouldn't give it to him. They're just something so great about turning away a male model. I mean, because you know what, I feel like it will eventually happen, but I love that, like, not letting the male model just get everything you want, even though he will get what he wants ultimately. I don't know, it made me happy. Yeah. Just let me have my moment. happen, but I love that, like, not letting the mail model just get everything you want, even though he will get what he wants ultimately.

I don't know, it made me happy. Yeah. Just let me have my moment. They have it. Enjoy it. I like seeing pretty people get everything, because I feel like that's like the circle of life, you know? There's like a lottery, you want it, get everything for free.

What do you need me to do for you? Do you want me to fill your car up with gas? You earned it by doing nothing, as it should be. It's like I simultaneously love Luke's pretty person privilege when it's like in the context of Carl, but then I also love what his pretty person privilege gets turned on its face in the case of Hannah, like not kissing him. I just like it both ways. Yeah. Okay, you can have that. Thanks both bass both ways bet. Yeah, so then we go over to Oh way you song my favorite and Carl the Tyler pack you love your boy I'm good at my my keep by

Driving with you to the hamstrings and like stopping in a gas station with you with some overboy in the truck. Well Yeah, yeah, we're gonna go like we're gonna go to Hampton's early to try sell some loveable to a gas station. So here we go. So they go, everyone's driving out to Hampton's and Kyle and Carl come out of like a gas station or whatever and call it like big news. I sold 10 cases, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,k and now that I've sold some, we're going to Southampton,

social to sell some more. Woo! Yeah. And then Jordan is in the car with Paige and Hannah and he's like, oh, did you have a good time with Perry? I know. I'll bet coach. You have a good time with Perry.

And now we're going to have girls night. And Danielle's coming again this time on the train So you know 10 yells back to her old tricky ways. Yeah, technically the jittney, but yeah, basically they put her on to public transportation Something has never changed, you know So they talk about Anna's date and she's like, oh, you know, it was a lot like games So I got to be the motorbunch of games and stuff. And she tells them things have changed with me and our mom.

Dun, dun, dun, dun. At literally done, dun, dun, they're done. And Hannah's like, I just don't want to be tied down. I mean, making out with male models is just way more on brand for me. So here we are back to the handpiece. Yeah, they're back there, pages like, oh my god, I missed our room. And everyone's showing up and Lindsay's like,

do you guys have some open rosé? I wanna go straight to the rosé. And we'll see what else happens here. Dun dun dun dun. This is what you missed, okay? Page, this is what you missed. Carl put me back in the friend zone, he did it about face, and then he was like, oh, my friends, okay?

So he is on one, on one, on one. I'm feeling low new, going over and on, I am. So then Carl tells them about his skew order. He's like saying skew, he's like, we got a take. He has for skew order, yeah, skew, ske about his skew order. He's like saying skew. He's like, we got a take-kissed for skew order. Yeah, skew, skew, skew. But he's like, wow, you don't have the skew card, man.

And then they hear a noise outside. And it's like, motor cycle. And it's like loud and obnoxious. And normally I would hate that. Like, I would hate it. But again, just watching Carl get so mad was perfect because it's basically Luke showing up on this motorcycle. He's got a little band down around his neck.

He's like, hey man, I took my motorcycle. I bought this by modeling for a chicken of the sea. So I used that money to get this motorcycle and here I am and Carl's like, dude, dude. Try much, bro. Yeah. It's like, do you see the way he walks when he got off that motorcycle? Dude dude try much bro. Yeah It's like do you see the way he walks when he get off that motorcycle He like his legs are like wide and he walks with a strange gate. Who do you think he is me? Seriously, who loves the guy with bow legs? Oh everybody. All right never mind. I'm gonna fuck that guy up later

Oh, so then Amanda's like, girls me starts now. Ed Lindsay has the funniest announcement is such a, this is such a Danielle announced because guys, Danielle made the jitney. It's like up there with it's a boy. So we get girls, Matt and Bull is Matt just like it's Vanderbomb rules. So the girls are meeting and having girls and PJs and ordering Italian food and the boys are going to hit some bars and a baton cage. Yeah. So the guys are driving off the baton cage. Yeah, so the guys are driving off to the baton cage

and I believe it was, what's his face? Jordan tells the guys, like, by the way, I have some news that I heard. I was talking on the phone with my dear friend Liz Smith and she said, I have some gossip for you. Turns out Hannah had two things with our mom. Do you believe that? A car goes, what?

What? How's the date with the blue? Yeah, and looks like uncertain. He's like, what are you trying to date her? He's like, uncertain. He goes, well, just know that she's our friend. And if you heard her, there's going to be a problem. Like you did. I'm going to cry for a whole weekend. just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it.

I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it.

I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just make it. I'm gonna just voicemail and my movie has been canceled. So yeah,

Carl's team movie is that he had a party, but nothing went wrong. And he cleaned it all up and mom and dad came back and we're like, oh, so you had a party. That's great. You want to get pizza? Well, it's not a big hit. So Amanda's like, girl, is he want to eat it? It's him or are you want to eat like crazy people on the couch And one of them goes the couch duh So they're all they're all eating there and there's start they start playing truth or truth I'm so truth or page truth or dare and So it's like so who in this room is the worst and why? So who in this room is the worst and why? Oh, worse to date. Oh, I thought it was just the worst.

The worst to date and then it goes, um, pain. Do I mean, do I mean, man's and page goes fat is valid. Actually, it's quite valid. Yeah. Amanda reads the question Um chill have you ever thought we might be changing on your partner Hi But like only for revenge Kyle

Kyle So meanwhile the boys are at their baseball place and they're getting beers and chicken tenders and stuff like that and Jordan's like small place and they're getting beers and chicken tenders and stuff like that. And Jordan's like, boys night on three. And then we chug because that's what we are. We're a bunch of pros having male bonding times. This, you know what this reminds me of. No, though I think about it. It reminds me that time when I hung out with Tom Selik and Leslie Nielsen.

And we said, guys, just have to be guys cheers fellows So he goes what on boys? I don't three One and they're all just chugging. He's like okay. Well All right, so we just as half and Carl's like oh, you kiddin me bro. You kiddin me right now I'm on my second beer car. I'm sorry by second beer. I meant second girl. I've already fucks and said match you What are you saying again? Oh, yeah, well every guy the game chugged so So they start hitting balls and Carl goes Carl goes

He's like Kyle if you don't hit one ball, Jordan goes, you'll have to run around naked. You'll have to run around naked if you don't touch that ball. Run around. Just bear butt out naked. Flasad penis waving in the wind. Loa's score hits me in the face with her penis. So, Jules is like, um, I'm going to break this system just like my grandfather did. And I'm going to do a chili dare. And I'm at this like, okay, I don't even have phones. Thanks with Jordan right now. And that goes so strong there. So Jules calls up Jordan and starts doing starts having like phone sex with him, but as if she's presenting a PowerPoint demonstration, she's like, Jordan, are you still wearing

pajamas? I'd love for you to slowly take them off. Thank you. But I need for you to take them off. And now, caress yourself and what we will demonstrate is that you're feeling aroused. Thank you. And Jordan's like, home, should I get in a car and come over? I'm about to get come on. So tell me what you want.

She's like, um, actually, just finished myself off. Bye. Just like, I just really want to feel you inside of me. Uh, all right, I feel it. It's my finger. Bye, bye, bye. I bought it. Hey, college goes, wow, stage five, Klinger, right? Right. Hey, college goes wow stage five clinger right right So then Amanda's like okay, true If you were a rescuing people from a burning building and you had to leave someone behind who would it be Jules sorry

I'm sorry, I don't open up around people I don't trust. Like what? Where did that come from? I was looking at her like, when did you become this monster? You know, like she's usually nice, my God. The jewels eat the last of your guacamole. What happened? She's like, well, I just don't trust Jordan. And the jewels like, that's great.

That's great. I love that. You know, I just, I have some notes on this meeting here. I hate that you're taking that out on me, though, because it really makes no sense. And Mike grandfather started chili and Cincinnati and no one seems to care because every time I start talking about myself, Lindsay interrupts. That Jules is like, what's the problem in Amanda's?

Like, well, if you trust a liar, does that make you a liar? And she goes, well, with all due respect, Kyle has cheated on you. So how do you trust him? And I just wrote, ha ha, go jewels. The best part was that when she said, with all due respect, you're rich with Kyle and you cheated on you. She said it in the exact same way as when she told, with all due respect, you're with Kyle and you cheated on you. She said it in the exact same way as when she told Jordan, I want to feel you inside. With all due respect, I want to feel it for you inside of me.

And Amanda's like, well, it's very different. Because there is a way to forgive someone who's lied once. The lied once. What world did he lie with? And maybe stuck in that line. And that's like different than lying about their lame in general. Well, listen, I mean, yes, Jordan does lie about his life in general. So I also would have trouble trusting him, but I don't think that it then makes Kyle look any better.

Would you rather have someone tell a bunch of little white lies than someone tell one big cheating lie? I don't know, it's a question for the ages. Yeah, she's a fucking idiot. I can't believe that girl. And she also just mean grilling the new girl. You know, I guess it's just a dick move Amanda. Not cool. Not cool Amanda.

Well, ultimately she backed Pat also and she goes, maybe I'm just like triggered by lying and Lindsay's like, oh, I'm triggered by lying too. I hate liars. It's a huge trigger for me More than Amanda's trigger just a little bit, you know, I know that she's triggered, but I'm triggered more She's like yeah, but you know with Kyle, you know, just with the cheating Yeah, but you don't do what but you don't do have she done by men and Carl and Julan. Yeah She did on me chilly chilly on me now I'm triggered by Charlie, she'll say cheese everyone's so mean to me so Lindsey goes well Amanda tell

us her bringing up something very dramatic in my life is not gonna make me trust her more who cares Amanda who are you like what do you just do that you would abandon her in a burning building because she's friends with You can't even fucking clean up your own Amazon boxes shut up So um, so that's So man does know it's then uh Danielle, you know, she shows up like there's like a Some sort of like it's like a hay ride that kicks her off and she just like rolls up with her, with her bag and she comes,

Oh, I'm here! I made it off the gym, me, I'm here! Like, yay! Yeah, like, wow, hi! So then Carl, back to the batting cage, Carl's like, oh, you're next, bud, you're next! And Luke, Luke's like, what? And five deep dude, I guess they're talking about beers and he goes

Yeah, well we had boys that night last summer. Did we have this posty shit dudes did we and then we see their boys night when they were ordering food and They're like oh well three meatballs and guys like I write so three balls and cross like All right, the world orders some zucchini decks. Oh. Wow, Saturday nights for the bros after all. Wow, wow. Wow. They're okay, I'll get into box mister five viewers,

get a box. Wow, looks like fine. I'll go try to hit some balls. Okay, so he goes to step up a bat and call us like, oh, guys, Luke's going. I mean, we't get your cameras out because I won't care so much. I'm like, you're the one who just pressured him into doing this.

And now you're acting like Luke was bragging about doing it. He's just trying to start a fight with Luke. It's so funny. And Luke does not care about this old idiot, you know? He's like, literally does not care. And so he's like, Luke is not a great athlete. He's like swinging and missing and swinging and missing Carl's like, oh, hey Luke, you know what the hamptons right he looked like you're an extra on the warriors

He's a dad talk to it. I don't change for any one because oh at the end of the day. Oh good bro Handshake handshake all right, so how many parents if you had broke like seven that's good cuz no one cares He's so annoying so Luke is like oh, you know, okay, Carl just do it at me whatever it is Oh, okay, all right. Let me do it. Let me do an impression of you. Okay, really like oh Hey, Sarah, let's go rock climbing get nailed at guys nailed it nailed it I was like you asked Sarah on a date Me well, I'm sure yeah, I raised that car last Sarah on a date while he was still dating Lindsay in front of Lindsay Yeah, girls like oh she showed me the text and looks like it's not a date. Oh rock climbing

I'm not gonna fuck her dude. I'm taking a rat climbing. Oh yeah, you're not taking a rock climbing. I'm gonna tell you that right now. You're not taking a rock climb. Yeah, he's like, well why wouldn't I? We just had a friendly conversation. He's like, are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?

You would take her? Are you fucking kidding me? And he's like, well, if you know what? If you think I'm trying to smash her, then you're insecure with yourself Oh Bro more life More like Kyle

Dude, you're being such a bitch right now. This carls been like gunning for him all night. Shut up to Kyle You and a man to go go shut up together somewhere. So it looks like you want me to go after a dude? Okay, I will and then we'll talk. And Carl's like, Oh! He goes fucked up, shitting like throw something on the ground because now like he is like awakened the male model part of Luke. Looks like, uh, Gacy forgot.

I make sure you have male model and I probably have a big dick. So, and they make him heard from here to toe in here. Or from head to toe in here. Okay, no, from here to toe in here or from from head to toe. Okay. No, from here to toe. From here to toe. My hair has here. Your hair has here. I have to in a salad. So, across like, I want you to talk to me like a man.

Talk to me like a man. And he's like tries to come for Luke and Jordan. That's all that Jordan. That's all the back. It is truly like the worst 80s movie I've ever seen. You're like, no, let me hold you back. Wow. This reminds me when I was running and running from the bulls and Pamplona and there running along with me was none other than Bo Bridges and I was like, Bo, you're running too slowly. You can get hit and he was about to get it and I jumped in from that bull and I said, you slow down, Mr.. That man is a treasure. And the ball stopped. And Carl goes, oh, if you're talking to Sarah, then I'm going to talk to him. Good luck, loser. Have fun with that.

Truly the whitest fight we've ever seen on TV. It was amazing. Yeah, and that brings us to the end of Summer Hios everybody! Yeah, thanks everyone for listening, and you know, of course go to watchcrapins.com to get tickets to our shows and merch, sign up on Patreon, all that good stuff, and we will talk to you on the next episode! Later, suckas! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watercraftens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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