Watch What Crappens - Summer House MV: Boob Battle

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* It's Girls Night and Boys Night on Summer House Martha's Vineyard (S01E06) and Silas takes a deeper turn into villainy when he mansplains, controls how his wife dresses, and leaves his wedding ring at home while the ladies are away. All in one episode. He's a keeper! Also, Shanice starts a war with Bria over her boobs. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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A podcast for all that crap! We love to talk about. I'm Neil Broffs. I'm Ronnie. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm today with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben.

Hi, who are you? Good. How are you doing? I'm at the beach today. Oh my god. I'm where you were last week, which is just like hanging out in front of a map of Martha's Vineyard, you know, just getting myself acquainted with the geography

of this island. Yeah, I'm at the actual beach today. It's lovely, because it's a video day. As usual, if you want to use a video recaps, go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends to join the crap ends on demand level. Let's receive the video first. Okay.

They're released a week later on YouTube. The audio's always released on YouTube, if you want that right away. Um, and we have two weeks left of our tour. The next two weeks are our crazy sprint towards the end of it all. Okay. This week we're gonna be in... Oh my gosh.

Uh, the entire Midwest. If you live in the Midwest, we're visiting you. St. Paul Minnesota, Chicago entire Midwest, if you live in Midwest, is visiting you. St. Paul, Minnesota, Chicago, Illinois, and Columbus. St. Paul is gonna be real housewives of New Jersey, right? Chicago is gonna be real housewives of Orange County. And Columbus is gonna be Vanderpump rules secret revealed. And then the next week in Boston, we're doing real housewives of Orange County.

And the very last show is at the Foxwoods Casino, we are leaving that recap up to you guys. So go to our Instagram, Instagram.com slash watch what crap ends. And a vote, we have a question up over on our stories, asking you what you guys would like to see. It can be a classic episode. We're not gonna do like a below deck. I guess choose like a housewives.

One of your favorite classic housewives, and let us know what you would like us to recap. That week, okay. But today is summer's house Martha's Vineyard. So here we are with that. Hello, Martha's Vineyard. Hello, Martha's Vineyard. Oh my goodness.

I this episode really fired me up. I'm not gonna lie. You know, Silas has been a... He's been a dick all season long, but this episode, it just was like, he went to that next level of villainy, and I was just like, he's just getting worse and worse,

but Bria's also getting worse and worse, I think. And then also, I feel like, because you have these big personalities, Alex is being sneaky, and he's just sort of like sneaking through the cracks there with his villainy, I'm just like, I was fired up, very fired up by the episode. Now, well, there you go. A lot of villainy going on.

Silas is the worst, I think. He's terrible. You know what makes me crazy about Silas? The Jasmine is like, this is it. This is totally what I want. This is totally what I signed up for. And this is what I'm going to voice upon my friends on their summer vacation. Exactly.

Exactly. Choose better. Like, what kind of like self esteemed do you have that this is who you pose? I'm surprised he doesn't have a tracker on your ass. Actually, I bet he does. I bet she does have to sign into that, find my friends or whatever, so he can follow her around every two damn seconds. Well, as a platoon leader, that's just like something he had to do. So I think maybe we should afford him some more grace. Well, that's not going to last for very long. Yeah, he's awful. So the episode last week's episode, the cliffhanger was basically after

everyone got their free watches and were bought off by Simon. Jasmine was crying at the table, at the dinner table saying that she's been really struggling, being part of a couple. Not because struggling being part of a couple. Not because her voice isn't being heard, not because she married out of expediency, and not because maybe, like it didn't solve all the issues she thought it would, she's struggling because people just think that everything she says is just really judgy, because they just say it comes from a different perspective. Yeah. Yeah. She says, everything I say is perceived as judgment because I'm married. No, everything you say is judgmental.

Is it because you're married? I don't know, but you are married and judgmental, okay? You got that in common with Silas. You're very controlling of the people around you. And then when you get called on it, you're the immediate victim. So here she goes crying like everyone did something to her. You are the one doing things to them, man. Okay.

Yeah, it was ridiculous. So she's crying. They're in her straw hat. She's like, it's not easy for me. I mean, I value my friendships so much and finding space for, you know, like me and Silas, it's just, it's uncomfortable. Like with female friendships, I never want to isolate myself because I need them so much. And like I get a lot of shit from my friends, mainly the single lonely friends who have nothing going on in their lives,

because again, single and lonely, I mean, is there any better set an in for really depravity and boredom and sadness than single people? No, I don't think so, but like, I just feel like I can't relate to you guys anymore. It doesn't feel good. Because all you talk about is how marriage you are

and then try and get them to get married. So she's like, yeah, after I talk to Jordan, I realize it doesn't feel good, feel isolated from my single friends. I mean, I just want to be close to my girlfriend. The world won't end. And Jordan is like, okay, well, things have shifted and we just know you differently. And she is like, okay, well, things have shifted and we just know you differently.

And she is telling us like, well, I was just under the impression that she was knee deep in whatever statue-esque impression she wanted to give us. But after I, she opened up, I realized she's just a human. It's like, oh, God, don't fall for this. This is how she controls you by using the tears. You did nothing wrong in that conversation, ma'am. She was totally completely wrong. Take nothing back.

Yeah. She's like, she said that Jasmine got stuck into the idea of like, this we have to do as a married woman. So Jordan's like, listen, Jasmine, anytime I ever speak to you, it's out of love. And then Brea tells us that Jasmine is feeling isolated from her friends is because of something that Jasmine did herself. And she's like, I feel like she is, I setting herself away from us because we're not married. And I don't know. But when I get married, I'm going to be the still, still the same crazy Bria, like, unless I'm marrying the president, which is a different story. And I'm like, well, that's kind of funny because Crazy Bria later on in the episode, uncrazes herself the moment that her boyfriend comes back

from guys night, but whatever. Well, changes are crazy, I should say. I was going to say what? She doesn't. Doesn't uncraase, but like she was skinny-dipping and then all of a sudden she covers up. So she literally disperives her own theory right here. I love that her thing isn't like, well, listen, I'm not going to change towards my friends just because of my single status. Now I will change them, I will change for them when there's a change in my economical status or my power status. Like if I become much richer or powerful than that or more powerful than them, they're

dead to me. But hey, I'm not going to change just because I get married. I cannot even imagine if Brea marries the president. And it's nothing against Brea. I just don't know how I would deal with Milo being like the first dog like that. It would just be like very difficult for me. He would get a lot of, come on, man. If he married this president, just feel like the dog poop everywhere. Come on man. So Jason is hugging her and Food comes out and Preston is like guys. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you. Thank you for that was not even a real Sarah and that was a bullshit because she got a call out. So please save your thank you for sharing. So Jason's like

Then we get Jason's personality, okay? Because we've gotten a little to Jason But we have not seen the side of Jason or Jason just talks in one big circle That makes no sense. So here it goes. He's like Yeah, it's like you want us to see you as human But not with this truth of what you're trying to create. Because the truth is relationships are fucking hard, you know? Like sometimes you can know somebody and get defensive about things.

Like even as your friend, there's certain things I can't do unless you take the risk to expose the truth. And then he does that thing where he's like squinting his eyes like I just said something really profound. And then the clown music starts flying for this like squinting his eyes like I just said something really profound and then the clown music starts Flaying for this hymn bow and we're like okay, he's an idiot. Yes. Thank God. Yeah, he gets the whole he gets that He gets that treatment where they just cross fade between people as they get bored and Nick tells us no When someone's telling a story, but the story goes on not for one time But for 30 chapters and it gets out saying, it's never ending.

So then Jason's like, well, and another thing I want to add to that and Breeze goes spit it out and they just all start cracking up. So Bree is like, I know I do love Jason, I'm sorry, I do love you and Jordan's like, yeah, but she's basically like, I already gave you a watch so I shut the fuck up, okay? Let's wrap it up and say, well, but don't watch, so I shut the fuck up. Okay, let's wrap it up.

And he said, well, but don't give me drinks and then expect me to speak straight. Okay, my other fuckers. So the big news that comes out of this also, by the way, is that Shanice is returning tomorrow to disprove all those rumors that she's like a crazy, crazy person.

Yeah. And so Silas is like, well, thank you for the watches. And also, thank you for being another couple. So we won't be the only ones, not to, we won't be the only ones to be told to get a room. And it's like, let's have sex wars. So they're kind of joking about that. And then Preston's like, hey, it's not only four of you

is gonna be having sex. And they're like, are you talking about self-love? And he's like, hey, it's not only four of you is going to be having sex and they're like, are you talking about self-love? And he's like, yes, I've self-loved a couple of times already. Okay, you know, no one needs a noisy masturbator, okay? The masturbating silence and shame. You are around couples, sir. Well, there was an implication when he said it won't be just the four of us. There was an implication it comes to Alex, sort of like when he said it won't be just the four of us, there was an implication it comes to Alex, sort of like, make an eyes at summer,

implying that maybe they'll have sex or something. And so, but yeah, there will be masturbation too. And so now everyone piles into the vans to go home. And then Jason's like, you know, 80 to 90% of the women are going to lose themselves in marriage. And then some are like, is this something you googled or is you just basically talking out marriage. And then summer's like, is this something you gould, or is you're just basically talking out of your ass?

Jasmine's like, I just love how summer is basically like, coming for people and she doesn't realize it. Which I like that too. I think summer's rising to the top of the ranks for me in this group. Well, yeah, she's not really coming. Praying once, she's just like, what the fuck? What, what are you talking about?

It's not 90% of women. What, what is that fact? So back home, Milo of course runs out the door immediately. And Amir of course knows how to get him back with food, you know? Yeah. Good dog and good human. So Simon, they blew up. They blew up Milo's dick.

Because I love you. What? They blew it up Milo's dick. Did you notice that? They pick up my love and they put a big pixelation. Prius, I can't dare you put out your penis in front of my boyfriend. I feel like we've got to cover everybody's private parts around. Yeah. Okay. Even the dogs.

So then people are sort of like getting into bad and stuff and Silas and Jasmine are in bed. He goes, you know what, one of my fears is babe and she goes, anal, what the fuck? She probably got it right. And then Simon and Brea are in bed and it's like, I missed you. And Brea's like, I missed you more baby. Like I don't like being away from you.

And so then she tries to have sex and he's He's like, no, not today. It's the biggest fool. Yeah. And then the morning in the kitchen, Jasmine and Jason are in there and Jason's like, you know, I think the biggest part of the night was you. You know, Jasmine, and sometimes truth kind of helps the house. You know what I mean? You've been here two days. Yeah, you not talk about what helps house. Okay? You've been here literally two days, be quiet. He really seems to like, sermonizing if that's even a word at every moment. So Jason's telling us like,

I have no enjasmine for like, over almost seven or eight years and I've been through the jasmine's different relationships and helping her do heartaches and I think these things make me very productive over her. And Silas says, I told Jazz and how proud I am with her to keep her real to girls. It's just like really hard to see.

And the fact that I'm proud of her means that that's extra special because it's me being proud of her a wife. So ridiculous. And she's like, yeah, I don't know how my friends feel about me as a wife now. I don't want them to feel like I'm dismissing them, but it's for me in my house. This is so new. God shut up. So I think she burned the cheese on the sandwich. Okay. So she's making the sandwiches and she burnt the cheese. And I wrote Silas is going to break up with you joking of course but then that actually

becomes a storyline. I know I didn't even I didn't write anything down so I was like okay I thought I was just like a little button to bring some comedy to the scene that they were so caught up talking about that's that super into cheese not realizing it was gonna be go into the file it was gonna go into the anti-jazzman file from Silas. Yeah so Milo's crying with Brienne's Simon in the room. And she's like, what's wrong? You don't act like this normally. Is it Simon? Put away your dick before it.

What you do. So then Jason is in Jordan's room now. And he's like, they're talking about the wind. Basically, oh no, Jasmine. I'm sorry, I have a jazz and a jazz. Because Jason's a jazz man. So my short hand. So it's jazz

in there and they're talking about the wind and Jordan's like, yeah, atrocious and she looks at her phone and she goes, what's a gal warning? And then Jasmine goes, who's gal? My well, you know, my dear friend, Gail Simmons, we do love her, but when she arrives at Martha's Vineyard, we do feel like it's important to alert the entire island just lock down all your fudge and toffee. That's what we call basically it's a storm of rayon and crumbs. So Jasmine's like, what did you think about last night's dinner? And she was like, yeah, I thought it was cute and nice and Jasmine's like, I was trying to observe Simon because like, oh, what'd you think about last night's dinner? And she was like, yeah, I thought it was cute and nice. And Jasmine's like, I was trying to observe Simon because like, I don't know, maybe I've seen Tinder's one there

a few too many times. So basically, she's still a little bit shy. She's right. You know, she's right. Simon does seem like a cheesy faker. Nothing about him seems real. His outfit seems fake. His car seems weird and fake.

All his watches from the used watch store seem really weird and fake. All his watches from the used watch store seem really weird and fake. She's right, but dude, give it 24 hours for the watch. You know what I mean? Like, just let the watch at least move around the dial one time. Get one rotation of those hands, and then you can start going out

on the guy we gave it to. those hands and then you can start going out on the guy we gave it to. So then Jordan's like, you know, what are some things that you feel like I could improve on to support you through this time, Jasmine? And she's like, well, when we have girl moments, you know, here, like that's definitely needed. And like sometimes I check in on you and all, all, you know, just to show that I care and I know like Sometimes check on me. I'm gonna know it's hard Talking to a married woman because we are of elevated status in society and that can be intimidating But I want to really Show people that married people can be talked to it's okay for you single people

So then in the kitchen Alex Jordan and summer are there and Alex is like, you know, I think that sometimes when we talk about wellness, we can just get so serious. You know what I mean? And Jason's like, um, yeah, that's why I want to talk about it because like, I'm not going to say today is like the healing day, but there's like being super deep with each other. By the way, I love Alex being like, I just feel like sometimes people get so serious when they talk about healing.

Like, well, do you hear yourself right? That you're being very serious. I spout out people are serious about healing. If you don't want to be serious about it, don't talk about it so seriously. Do you know what heals poetry? I know she might. Right, I know she might. I know she might. Right.

I know she might. Right. I know she might. I know she might. Right. I know she might. I know she might. Right.

I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might.

I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I know she might. I'm here, jumps out and scares her. She's like, oh my god, that was really scary. Hi, Jason, how are you?

I already know, because I've actually been watching outside from the window for the past few minutes. That looks like you're doing great. Oh my god, Jasmine, you burnt that sound, which, whoopsie. Oh. You know, I already know from my previous Martha's Vineyard Strips, like he actually liked me when I first met him, Jason that is.

And like, I had no idea mainly because I was busy cutting out letters and sending them to my ex. But I thought like, you know, like, you know, he's just trying to be really good friend, but he was like, here he got me all that time. I had no idea. And they're like, welcome back to me. And Alex says welcome back to her and she goes, oh, hi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, welcome back to her and she goes, Oh, hi, all right. Oh, Crystal. But she's cold. And she's like, you know, I'm so glad, Brea told me what he said.

Because like, Alex, whatever you think about me, honestly, I do not go a fuck. Okay. Like you eat chips like straight out of the bag and then put them back for everybody else to eat. Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said. I do have iPhone footage of it, but the curtain was kind of in the way,

or I'll show you right now. And she then she used to say, by the way, who's cars that outside, like that crazy Corvette or whatever, and be like, oh yeah, you're like, she's like, oh, who's dick in my second tonight? Am I right? That was a joke, and if you take that literally,

I'm gonna fucking kill you. So I love Simon then, is like walking around the house and like black slacks and I'm gonna fucking kill you. So I love Simon then is like walking around the house and like black slacks and a button down and a sweater. I'm like fitting right in in this casual vacation but I love Simon's vacation clothing is just like formal wear. Yeah it's a pink it's like a pink colored shirt under a pink sweater. I'm sick of coming back. I'm like too hard. I don't I don't trust to think about this guy either. So it's like, fat, you know, Bria has told me she used to work with Shani's and I also

have, you know, I've, she's also told me some things right now. I don't want to talk about it. And also he's wearing a big medallion necklace over the polo collar. So that's very Bronwyn, Wyndham Burke's husband, whatever the guy's name was. I forgot, sorry, sorry. But yeah, signs are pointing to untrustworthy. Yeah, at a turn. No, I guess it was Bronwyn who was untrustworthy.

Bronwyn was the one who was fine, right? Yeah. So then Bria, what's she's ball? So then Bria tells us that like she and Sheney's did like an only fans together where they'd like posed in lingerie and bikini but no porn and nudity so Shanese is like also she's learning about summer because you know summer came while Shanese was gone So she learns that like summer and Alex are vibing and then while this is happening summer goes downstairs in the basement and

She finds some dog poop dog poop from future presidential dog Milo. Milo has pooped under the pool table. He's like, come on, poop. So then she tells Silas first, which I was like, don't tell Silas, come on. So then she tells Alex and Alex is like, uh oh, we we're gonna have to have a house meeting. And then Silas goes, house meeting everybody. House meeting, we are having a house meeting. And Preston's like, I'm not having another

fucking house meeting, okay. Stop with that. Not a dog poop. Silas is like, well, Preston, are you gonna talk at the meeting? Are you gonna say something? I guess say something. And Preston's like, well, if you see her first,

you can just tell her. He's like, well, I mean, there's like literally fresh poop on the floor right now, press and there's fresh poop. And he's like, well, and all you're doing is like letting it sit there by talking to me instead of dealing with it. So then he walked to a stylist's storm off and he goes past Bree's door and he's like,

he had to walk past Bree's door in order to get to my door. So my non-door, it's only an avid door. So you could have clearly knocked on her door. And he just tells him, if you guys don't understand how you're making this worse, I don't know what to tell you. How was Silas?

Did Silas want Preston to confront Bria about the dog poop? Was that what Silas was trying to do? So yeah, Silas wanted Preston to take care of it because he's like, I'm the only one calling a house meeting and you're doing nothing about it. So if you don't want a house meeting, then you can go talk to her about it. Because Silas doesn't want to look like the villain, even though Silas is a villain and literally is the one who wants to kick everybody out and have house meetings all the time when

he can't control them. That is such warped logic. Like doesn't even make sense. Well I want to have asked me if I don't want to have a, this is my way of handling it. If you don't want to have a house to me, then you have to handle it in your own way. And the rest wasn't even the one who complained about it. So he doesn't have to handle anything. It's time for commercial.

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I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat! Plant meat! Correct! So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef.

Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. So the Alex is like, so, um, Bria, um, your dog pooped and that's the scoop. I notion myself a poet and she's like, oh, where? And he's like, uh, in the basement is the debasement. And she's like, okay, I'll go clean it up. So she does. And she's like, oh my god, is this why everybody's talking?

Like I hear the house buzzing, you know, because the flittery stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, stomps, you're talking about poop, poop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop and it's like, well, if you have an issue with it, why don't you just pick it up, which by the way is the second time the season where there's been a debate over like what should someone do about defecation that was like not from themselves. And so Silas is like, I'm not going to be the bad guy. I'm like, the ship, the ferry has sailed away from Martha's being her on that one. Also this was the third time actually, because remember the first time they were accusing

the dog of pooping and Bri and not cleaning it up, but then it turned out she had cleaned it up. A lot of people, a lot of people out of that plot on this show. Oh, you're right, of course. Of course, I was like in the first episode. There was the, of course. So in the meantime, Silas is pissed at Preston because he won't step up and Briya cleans a poop

because that's what you do, you know? So then Jasmine is like, what's wrong with you Silas? And he's like, I'm telling him, there's shit on the floor and it's clearly my lo-shit. And he doesn't care. Nobody's gonna do anything. It's all up to me. They hear all of the house.

He's such a drama queen. So Priya's cleaned it in the meantime and she's like, okay, it's not there and then it cuts to Preston and he's like, oh my god, I'm gonna have to curse everybody out about this. And Jasmine's like, honey, I think it's already handled so you can calm down. And he's like, well, I don't wanna deal with this. Just give me a kiss. What a long morning, it's been for me. That's all he wants. He has really struggled having to contemplate throwing

a house meeting and then hearing that no one wants to do a house meeting and then realizing that no one actually wants to really get too deep on this. He's been through a lot. He's been through so much this morning. He's put himself through it. That's for sure. So then a mere enshonisse are playing basketball

in the four of the house. And I had this moment when I was watching this, they're like playing basketball and I was like, oh no, like that could be a little dangerous, not dangerous, but like they could break something. And I was like, no, but they're fine. And I maybe think about Winterhouse. And like as a, you look at the way the people on winter house just totally disrespect the house that they're in, how they destroy it.

Mainly Craig, but a lot of them, but especially Craig. All the guys, they just trash it, they break things, they hang off of things. And then you look at like this cast and they're just so much more respectful of their space. And I feel like there's actually something to that, whereas I feel like I'm winter house, they are trash in the house almost because they're like, we have nothing else interesting to provide for the cameras. So all we can do is like break shit and be messy versus these people who are like so much more interesting and have so much more interesting dynamics

going on, and just my little observation. Well, these are classier people, A, they come to the show because they actually vacation out here all the time, this is what they do, which is how Summer House started. Summer House started as a show about people who just naturally share homes in the Hamptons. That's what it was about.

And this one is about people who share homes in Martha's Vineyard. Winter house is just trash. It's like a real world show where they just get trash from everywhere and just send them up there so they don't have respect for it. And they're like, you get trained for these homes and having to clean them.

Exactly. And it's almost like the people in Winter house and they're already on TV shows, they're like, I know this is what people will want out of me. So I'm going to come into Winterhouse and act this way. Whereas the people I feel like on Summerhouse, Martha's Vineyard so far are coming on to the show and are kind of fresh and just being themselves more or less.

So Summer and Shinis are opening a bottle of wine and they're going to have girls girls day guys wine cheese and fruit Pechot wine cheese fruit and pechols and Jasmine's like so in terms of a mirror and Jordan guys and it's like she doesn't learn You know what I mean like yeah, didn't you just get into an argument about this because you wouldn't shut the fuck up about this already Like come on Jordan literally told you about this yesterday that she thinks that it's a dud. Like, what are you doing?

So Jordan's like, um, it's not a thing. Am I interested in pursuing a relationship? I'm not. So, Shanice, what about you and guys? And Shanice is like, oh, I already date with the guy on Monday. Here's what I know about him. He's six nine.

He's an athlete and his took us back. And I know because, like, I fucked him. He's an athlete and his took us back. And I know because like I fucked him. I love him. Well, also the Pinto is ATM is a 55 6 3 crazy and he has beautiful French windows and a ceiling fan that I noticed from the bushes the birthday at all week long. So So then Jazz, it's like, well, guys, Alex is still up for dibs. I'm like, well, maybe there's a reason for that. Okay, like people know he's up for dibs.

They wanted to move in on, they would have. So Shinesis, like Alex is not my type at all. He just feels awkward around me, but because of like what have my acts, you know, because by the way, I got cyberbillied and she tells us about how like when her ex-pitter on blast, she was basically totally humiliated and he made up a bunch of lies about her on social media that went viral and all this stuff and talks about she was getting her

wrath and people were calling her up and telling that she should kill herself and it was like the worst five months of her life and Summers listened to this and she's like, what does it have to do with Alex again? By the way, this is a nice story about what, huh? Well, yeah. And she's like, boom, I'm over it now. And Summers's like, oh yeah. So let's get back to Alex and Bree is like, oh, she Googled him.

That's what happened with Alex. Alex Googled her. Google her. No, I'm sorry. He Googled her. Alex Googled her. And Jasmine's like, okay, well, we're in a good place with him, but that, you know, we need to talk about that

because it's gonna get skipped over if we don't address it. And I want a fight about Googling people. Okay. I want someone to have sex with Alex and I also want someone to fight with Alex. Okay, are we all on the same page? It's like, God, you have to control every little thing. It's like she's horing people out

while she's also horing them out to like getting the boxing ring. Yeah. So then they're like, okay, time for boys and girls, Knights and Shanice to help you get over this awful chapter of your life about Norman Towns because that was the name of your ex to get you over Norman.

We're gonna go to a place called Norman's. Okay, let's go. It's like, that seems a little cruel to Shines. So then, Silas, Silas goes, hey, what are you wearing? Are you gonna wear that dress I got you? I mean, technically I got you all the dresses. It's like, oh, God, you're so gross. Speak quiet.

She doesn't need your fucking opinion on what she's, she doesn't need your permission on what she's gonna wear tonight, sir. Yeah, you know, if this show comes back for a second season, I'm really dreading the stylist like his attempts to recalibrate and be like, hey, I'm just chill stylist, it's gonna be miserable watching that.

So it's gonna be like, look at me, stylist with so much respect for women. So women, what do you think about Paula Tix? Duh, hi. You know what I love? Burns cheese on my breakfast sandwich. I think it's something really cool. And as a platoon leader, I have to say, I'm chill about it.

So the girls are ready to party, right? And especially Jasmine, because she's both excited to get away from her controlling husband, but also excited to prove to these girls that she's not really like shitty now, boring, which she is. But you know, she's got a lot to prove, basically. Yeah, so the girls go out there like partying hard

and the guys are all like around the table at their bar and Silas asked Simon, and what his routine is with Bria, being long distance. And someone's like, oh, well, I go every day to the supplier to get some more watches, and getting stuff done. And then she gets mad and asks me,

hey, I need you credit card to buy back the light, or something like that. And Silas was like, I'm not sure I really understand what Simon's saying, but I'm just gonna nod and be like, okay, that's cool. Unless he has a good story about how he bought his girlfriend all her dresses and she can make milk cheese properly on an egg, I'm really not interested. So he's basically like a used watchtale, is that what I'm saying? Yeah.

I go to the supply every day to get some old watches. I'm like, who's the supplier? I feel like it's like some teenage kid standing on a corner like who's been just taking watches out people's wrist all day, you know. Now, I don't know what's up with this guy, but yeah, it does seem shadier. So then, their stylist is like,

what do you guys think the girls are doing? And Preston says, oh, they're getting free drinks. They're working on tables. And of course, Silas is pissed. And he's like, you know, listen, what we talk about stays at this table, right guys, because I've got to get this off my chest. You know, part of being on vacation is the routine of being off, you know, but the routine is, I'm used to her making me breakfast, you know? And I'm operating on my regular routine,

and she's like on vacation more. I mean, where's my decent breakfast, you know? Yeah, he's like, he's like, he basically says, I'm like sleeping in, and like, she's sleeping in, and like we got later, and Nick goes, so in some, you're asking, where's my breakfast? That's what I'm hearing. And by the way, Silas, it's so funny that he mentions

that like that Jasmine's on vacation mode, because one thing that I have definitely noticed about this show is they're on vacation. And it's a show about people in a vacation house on vacation together. So I think that explains her vacation mode a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. Is that a great deal?

Is that a great deal? I'm sure it's a great sandwich, okay? Because he's like, well, you know, Nick, now that you brought up, he doesn't even get the nick, it's just calling out to a little misogynist ass, all. Nick is? Yes.

So he's like, yeah, well, now that you mention it, that does bring me back to my sandwich this morning because it definitely came out toaster than necessary. I mean, are you saying that's on camera? It's like the main question. It's like the main question. It's my own breakfast, right? But that's not a routine.

You know what I mean? I need our routine to be the same. This guy talks about being a platoon leader and can't make his own eggs. So Jason's like, so you got married, like why not relax into a new normal before coming out with new routines? And Eddens house like, well, Jason, I never really asked this though, like what's, what type of woman, like what's your type?

What does your woman look like? And Jason's like, well, I like ambition and ambitions really sexy to me. And obviously I'm a communicating type of person. And Salis is like, yeah, but like, it gets too much into your head if you communicate too much. I mean, you're so nice. It's, it's true. Nice guys do finish last. I'm just like, what? And I just says, what the hell dude? Like, it's like unprompted. You're coming, you're just coming up with massage and this bullshitty things to say just for fun at this point. Well, it's because Jason dared to say,

why don't you chill out on your routines? Why don't you guys just like settle into marriage rather than be like, this is what it has to be. So now, Salis comes back and like, well, nice guys finished last, stupid. So then Jason goes, okay, well, first of all, let me say this. Now, I know I'm an attractive guy, last, stupid. So then Jason goes, okay, well first of all, let me say this, now I know I'm an attractive guy guys, okay, I mean not in a conceded way,

but I mean, yeah, that is conceded. But first of all, and second of all, look around you, you've got competition, okay. So he's like, people assume certain things about me because of how I look and they're like you got you have green eyes You know, so if I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I'm a bitch. You know, and God is just so hard to overcome these things guys It's so hard being this cute It's like I don't know much, but I know I'm not a bitch and Silas is like well

much, but I know I'm not a bitch. And Silas is like, well, while, you know, when we're, you know, walking around, like we're all here and you're doing your poetic justice kind of thing. And she's like, well, wait a minute. And Silas goes, I mean, if you listen too much, you wouldn't get any pussy. I mean, literally every single one of these single women has something kind of like going on. And they're like, it's like the crazy thing. And like, if you buy into that too much, you won't fuck anybody. Like he has a baby. He fucked someone. Okay. He has. I think Jason's okay with the fucking department. Yeah. Jason actually beat beat you to parenthood, which Trump's marriage. So sorry. Like in the like I get to take this conversation over kind of a way, baby's beat marriage. Sorry.

Baby's don't arrive by the work. Yeah, please. You can pass the marriage stick. You can pass the marriage stick. They were spiking a nice guy. Fuck first. Okay. So Jason's like, but guess what?

I fuck somebody if I want to fuck them, you know, my problem isn't being nice. And yeah, he's like, I have a kid. So. Uh, so then what? he's like, I have a kid, Saloa. So then we, by the way, during this whole conversation, we keep cutting back to the girls. And every time we cut back to the girls, they're not having some stupid conversation

and being assholes, they're parting and getting shit faced and damn it. So like every time we cut to them, it's a different taking a shot, or it's a different like on the ground, humping the ground. Yeah. And every time we go to the boys,

it's just Silas wanted to pontificate and lead like, you know, his own little talk show. And Jason says, not only does he have a kid, by the way, it's like, he says, I'm dealing with the repercussions. I'm just like, fucking, just trying to fuck someone. So like, he realizes there's, you have to be, it's not just like, oh, who can I fuck tonight? Because it can change your life, you know? Yeah. realizes there's you have to be it's it's not just like oh who can I fuck tonight because

It could change your life, you know Yeah, so girls dancing yellow lot and Jordan's like oh my god This is the first time I'm seeing like pre-married Jasmine again, and it's so nice and shanise is like boys I'm so sorry for everything I do And then we cut back to the guys and they're getting shots sent over from these ladies who are basically like the cartoon of, oh my God, a man. What's that, loomy tune?

Oh yeah. I mean, there you go. Yeah, I forget what they're, I forget who she's called. But yeah, and so they so they send the shots over. And of course, my first thought was, and then of course, it's what everyone does on the show. Because I was afraid it was like,

not gonna be a mention on the show. It's like, Silas better not have one of those free shots after everything, and they totally dog him about it. They're like, Silas, you're not allowed to have a free shot. Because then they show, of course, the footage of him saying, you do not take, except free drinks, if you're in a marriage. And so not only do they not allow me to have free drinks, but then Nick looks down because Nick really has been,

I read someone on Twitter was saying how like, Nick has low-key been kind of like calling Silas at all season. And Nick goes, you don't have your wedding ring on. Silas does not have his wedding ring on and you know how Silas would lose his mind if Jasmine went out without her wedding ring. Yep, and mix like, you know, you're talking about your girlfriend can't even get a drink

and you don't have your wedding ring on. And so they're like, oh, hell no, you know. So then we cut back to the girls being insane and Jasmine falling on the grass drunk and the manager being like, okay, here's your shots. Now get out of my grass and go, at least go. Yes.

And Jordan Basis is like, Silas is worried about how we're acting and I'm actually the most innocent bunny here in this group. Like I'm the only one who's not wasted being ridiculous. So girls are just like, wasted. They're having a great time. They're twerking the parking lot. They're back at the house.

They're just like partying. And they're like, Bria and Bria's like dragging Shanese across the floor. They're like dancing on the kitchen island. They're on the table. They're getting naked. They're skinny dipping.

They're just having the best time ever. So back in the car, the guy, they're on the way back home. And Silas is like, well, guys, it's the first 90 days. So of course, I'm still forgetting my ring sometimes. And I'm here. It's like, what is this a trial marriage? I don't think that you have a certain number of days that you get to not bring your ring.

And it mixes. Yeah. He's like, I got a burnt sandwich this morning. I'm not wearing a ring, you know. And they all laugh a lot. That's probably what it was. Kind of probably true. It's just.

Yeah, and again, like you just think about the amount of shit that's the amount of huffing and puffing and moodiness that Simon would have had if Jess never forgot a ring. And he's like, oh well, you know, I took it off and I guess I kind of forgot it. Whoopsies. So they all, they come back to the house.

And then Silas of course goes right up to summer. I was like, so, were there any emails around tonight? Were there any emails talking to you guys? It's like, you don't have your wedding ring answer. And I think it was, who is it? Someone grabs Silas, like, you should probably go up to your room and grab your wedding ring before you get caught.

So, yeah. And he's like, so were there any emails around? And Summary's like, yes, there were dicks outside because we were outside and there were men because it was a not all women bar. You fucking weirdo. And he makes a face at her. And meanwhile, Bria and Shanice are running around

like skinny dipping and topless and parting all over the place, right? Yeah. So Jasmine is like, so what are you guys talking about? And some are going, some are going, he just asked if there were men. And I said, of course, like, who were you guys dancing on? There weren't women where you went and saw this is like, well, I mean, there were. And Jasmine goes, uh, I'm going to stop you right there. I don't care. Okay. We're just living our, our life. Okay. And so she goes outside because she knows he's

about to get controlling and shitty, which of course he is. She's right. Okay. And so she goes outside because she knows he's about to get controlling and shitty, which of course he is. She's right. And so she goes outside and Simon is like dancing like, oh my God. Oh yeah, I'm dancing exactly how you think a Simon would dance in a hot tub is hot and dancing right now. Isn't this why I'm not in my bathing suit, which of course is a full suit and tie. And at this point, Shanice and everyone who had been naked is back to being having their

bathing suits on, but Shanice says to Simon, can I take my broth? And he's like, I have to ask Bria, but she takes her top off. And she's like fully naked. She takes everything off. And then she gets out of the hot tap and jumps in the pool. And everyone is like pretty much like, oh, what is she doing? It's time for commercial. It's time for-

Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writer's room. Each episode members of the writer's room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to End just like that the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So then Nick and Amir are playing pool. And Nick's like, can you believe he didn't have his wedding ring on So then

Brea sees Shanese in the hot tub with Simon and everybody without her clothes on and she's like oh She don't do that. This is the guy I'm looking into marrying and he's seeing your vagina and your ass crack and all these fake-outs people are letting you do it So I love that Brea not only gets mad at Shanese. She gets mad at everybody for letting Shanese Exactly be naked it's mad at Shanice, she gets mad at everybody for letting Shanice. Exactly. Be naked. But by the way, to be fair, this is also why people were like, maybe don't have your boyfriend come for a week, because like already, like Shanice now has to change her entire behavior

because Simon's there. Now I'm not saying what Shanice did was nicely right, but I'm just saying is an example of, you bring it outside or in, and everyone has to change to accommodate the outside. It's human nature, you know, people couple up, and then they get this whole new set of morality. It's like, oh, this new set of morals, I mean. So Simon comes, so she's got all these suits.

She was just running around topless, and it was fine. But now that you're doing it in front of my boyfriend, how dare you not respect me winning because I'm in a relationship. I'm winning and you are losing. So you do not get to take off your top, okay? I would like to see that reverse merrily. I think, well, Bria has not proven that she is a screamer like Jasmine, but it's like fine. She hasn't been able to because her boyfriend won't fuck her. And guess what? He doesn't snide either.

I know, after all that. I mean, that's after all Priya's saying, we're gonna have sex wars. So anyway, Shanice is naked in front of, in front of the, so Priya is like pissed off. She's really, really mad. She's really angry. She's like, you got naked in front of my man. And Priya is like pissed off. She was really, really mad. She was really angry. And she's like, you got naked in front of my man.

And she needs to like, huh? Cause she needs to space it in also like, doesn't care. And Priya's like, yeah, huh? Huh? You all are fake. You all are fake. So Simon's like, oh no, literally. So he goes inside.

And Priya's like, Simon, what are you doing? Do you want to get out of this house or what? You go upstairs because if you go outside, you're going to get the fuck out of this house. I was like, well, that's all of that problem. They shouldn't just let Brie us off her own, you know, three day problem. She had a house meeting with herself.

That was about Simon. So, I'm sorry. She pooped before. Silas is like, wait, are we discussing kicking someone out of the house? Because I would really love to have another house meeting right now. Yeah, I mean, we I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm naked in front of someone, I'm sorry, Brie, no Summer says that's to Shanice. She's like, Shanice, if she was naked in front of someone, you would be upset in front of like your man or whatever. And she's like, but I asked him and Summer is like, but you didn't ask her. You should have asked her. Yeah.

I'm over this day. It's ridiculous. Yeah. And, uh, she's like, it's every day with these people. She's like, you guys were just both naked in the pool 10 minutes ago and now it's a problem. And she's like, I know that she's not really mad about this, but I also have enough sense not to argue

with the drunk person who's making steak in the middle of the night. I think it's debris. It's just eating a steak. Yeah, it doesn't steak steak. This cast pulls out some amazing food, like out of nowhere in the middle of the night. It's like, oh, and here's a full culture of mac and cheese too.

So summer and Jason are talking and some are like, yeah, I would be mad too. And Jason says, well, listen, okay, about like I have a girl's naked in front of me. I'm not going to be like, um, do me a favor, put those titties away. That would be great. It's like, I'm not saying shit. Yeah. So Priya's still yelling at Simon and he's like, okay, you're right.

Okay, I totally are right. You know, I've explained this. You are a very right person. Now is the time when you are right. And Priya's like, well, get out of my face then. He's like, okay, all right. And then down on the kitchen, Shanese is just standing there and she like stumbles back

into the state and president just goes, girl, good a bet. We're just like my favorite thing. He's like, I'm not entertaining this anymore. You are too wasted and you're, you're putting your elbow in the state, get out of here. Also, summer's like two upset about this. I'm like, why are you upset? Cause she's still going on.

She's like, I mean, you're gonna get naked in front of my dude. You've got another thing coming. And Jason's like, okay, well, what are you going to do about it? She goes, I'm going to call people out. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say, okay, I mean, welcome to the house. You don't need to do that. You know what I mean? Like, you've been here five minutes too. So relax. So Silas is like, so, just, you know, Jasmine, something happened. Well, we were out two women bought drinks, and the bartender sent over the drinks. Jasmine goes, you could have gotten drugged,

and he goes, I could have gotten drugged. You're dramatic, too. Now, I haven't feel like, I kind of felt like Jasmine was actually kind of just like making fun of when she said that. You think that you know that, how he is. Like, you can't have a drink. You guys are just out to drug you.

Yeah. So, she's like, well, that's ego that you can't be a drink. Guys are just out to drug you. Yeah. So she's like, well, that's ego that you have right there. And for that, we have to have sex in the closet. And so he pretends he's not going to, but then they do. And they're still really loud, but now they're loud. And there are hangers involved. So it's like, is that better? Now we have to hear you fucking and the clattering of hangers.

Yeah. That's probably a mix of wire and wooden hangers. So it's probably actually seven kind of nice, like a little tingley, but a little like woody at the same time. So then Briya wakes up and she's like, waking up, I'm shocked. I mean, I remember dancing on the table.

I remember peeing in the bushes, but the rest is a blur, but I know I had a good time, but I'm still mad about shinees. I was like, oh, okay, so you remember everything. Yeah. And Jordan and Amir, just like chatting in their bed and Jordan is, Jordan's saying, like, you know, I feel like Amir really knows where I'm at. You know, I'm not really looking for a man right now.

And Amir is like, hopefully there's an opportunity where I can be like, yo, you're my girl. This can happen. So I don't really like him. Well, I hope I get to have a conversation about it. He better not try to talk to me about it. I want to marry her. I hope he dies in a fire. I think it's going to work out, guys.

So the kitchen, Nick and Brea are talking. And Brea is like, um, Shini's was pussy out and everything Nick. And then 10 minutes later, she's telling some are, can you both leave it? I mean, where is the respect? Where is the loyalty? And then 35 minutes later, depressed in,

can you believe it, Preston? But Preston's like not gonna take it. Preston's like, I think we have to be clear, there are a lot of arguments in the house, and I'm not saying that you started them, but you've been in the middle of all of them. She's like, people are, you just basically read her back. She's trying, people are, you just basically read her back.

She's trying to start something and he's like, girl. And so, people are doing things to me, to me. And Preston's like, so you're not the common denominator in any of this, because no. In one hour later, she's like, shenys was naked mom, but she like literally has to call her mom

because nobody else cares. And even her mom says, you know, well, Shanice is provocative, you know? Like she wasn't doing it on purpose. She's just being yourself. Have you just met this person? You guys are best friends. You know, she likes to take her top off.

You guys met at the Playboy Club for crying out loud. So then Alex goes up to Shanice. Well, Alex is like, hey, what happened last night? I was busy being poetic in my bed. And Shanice is like, I got in trouble basically for being me. And he's like, who gross? You being you, I hate that gross, do you think rhyme? What a non-poet you are.

Were you wearing a wig and sunglasses? Oh, about this time. This one was like actually just me, like no disguise at all. So let's see. So now they're gonna, some people are gonna play tennis and it's Alex Jordan and Shanice, right? And yeah, and a mirror. Jordan, Shanice.

And Shanice is invited Alex because she wants to come off as not the Google shiniest. Like she doesn't want him to think that she's crazy or anything. And you know, she's really been really been doing such a good job this episode and disproving that. But also like, um, fuck him. Like, why do you have to change who you are so that way he improves his perception? What you say is, Hey, Alex, first of all, you're not a poet, second of all, all, thanks for being so deep and introspective that you believe rumors on the internet

first before actually trying to get to know me for me. And third of all, you know, you're not John Legend. I don't know, I couldn't think of a good third one, but I feel like that works at any time. I feel like you could just say you're not a poet over and over. I feel like that really sticks it to people who decided the last segment that they're a poet. And it's also almost poetic to do it that way. Yeah, that's my favorite kind of justice guys. Rhyming poetic justice, okay.

So the tennis people go do their thing and Summer and Jason and Jasmine run to get rosé. They can run on their own little errand. So then we go to Jordan at tennis and she's like, I'm a former athlete, filled hockey, the cross, fencer, award winning equestrian. I wasn't really very good at tennis so, but I'll dress for it. I do have the outfit for it. Yeah.

And so they're playing tennis and Alex is like, hey, I don't hear any grunts. You're not playing sexy enough. She's like, oh, I'm here. He's like, oh! So then on the rosé run, they're just basically, and some were like, I just talked to Briya and she isn't going to be doing our rosé thing, whatever our next event is. And then we cut to Briya and Bed with Simon. And she's like, it's not okay for somebody to get naked in front of your man. And for someone to just sit there and be like, I'm going to sit my team on my business.

It's like, you're fake too. Or even allowing that. It's like, oh my God, don't make the used watch giver away or break up with you. Okay. He rented a car and a pink pillow shirt for this week. Can you just let the man enjoy his week? It's not that big of a deal. Yeah. So, Shinesis, it's so weird to me that, Bria, out of anyone, even with my ex, we used to go skinny dipping all the time in his pool.

And every now and then, we just were like, I don't know, we would kind of like prick our fingers and write little messages with my ex on his walls, you know? But like, what? I don't this girl, I don't even know we'd kind of like prick our fingers and write little messages to my ex on his walls, you know? But like, what, like, I don't this girl, I don't even know this, Brio, what's up with that? Bisfree has TV cameras on her. That's what's going on with this one.

And so Alex is like, she's got two sides because she's a Gemini, you know, the Kanye's, the two packs. The deep, deep album. I think he actually says the Trumps too. I think he throws the Trumps in there as well, which I was like, I didn't know two-pock was like, part of like, I didn't know that like,

I would not have put two-pock with the Trumps on a list, but I guess I don't know. I'm gonna say, the Alex Fed, he's a poet. So then Silas and Preston are talking in the kitchen and Jasmine's like, okay guys tonight are pastels, okay? And we're doing a rosé in the yard and pastels, you know, all over the house. Like you can wear them in the yard but also in the house. And Silas is like, okay, we're gonna move this table out.

So Jason, I'm gonna need you to squat and then lift. Lift from a squat because we're not gonna put it down till we're outside. So I need to make sure we're not gonna put it down till we're outside, so I need to make sure we're using our knees and not our back. And just to clarify, a squat is when you lower yourself, almost as if you're gonna sit on the ground, but you don't get all the way to the ground,

so your knees actually fold up, okay? So it's almost a sitting position, but not quite. Are there any questions for anyone? Jason's like, I know how to lift a table. Okay, you don't need to give me instructions. And Preston goes, okay, Simon's controlling, but he needs to realize that the only person he thinks he can control this Jasmine, and he's failing at that too.

So Simon's like, okay, now we're gonna walk forward. So when we walk, one thing that we do is we put one foot in front of the other and then redistribute our way. And Jason's like, uh, Silas, you are killing me with this over directing right now. And I mean, it's like, well, you can't do it. You're not able to get it out. So I think you need the direction. And Jason's like, I know how to lift a table. So then Silas stops and he's like, listen, here's why I do that. As a platoon leader on the firing range, I say things

that are common sense and we have to explain it. So I'm not trying to insult your intelligent, it's in my nature to insult everyone's intelligence. Yeah, so accept me. So listen, I hate to break it to you, but you're not on a firing range right now, you're in a vacation rental at Martha's Vineyard, so you can drop the platoon act. So Preston just seeing they're watching this. He's like, are we really having a fight about a table? I mean, we finally made it onto Bravo and this is what's going on TV right now.

I just hope you guys realize this is what's being documented. This is gonna be our storyline. People watch the show. They're gonna say it's a show where they thought about lifting a table. So then we go to, he's on a computer and he's mad with Jasmine still. So she's like, what's up? What's going on with you?

And he's like, well, it just seems to me that what happened out there was you left your husband out there like he was trying to, you know, dictate things. And like, you didn't even care what I looked like. And you didn't care that I looked like that. You looked like that because you didn't. You didn't. You two are exactly the same. Jasmine does shit to people and then acts like she's a victim. And you're doing things to people and then acting like

you're the victim of her not making you look less like a villain when you're the villain and the you two are ridiculous and you deserve each other. And also you're going to be divorced within two years. Just in a way, this is going to work. And also, by the way, thank you for being a really good villain for this show. This is absolutely ridiculous.

If you don't want to look like an asshole, don't do asshole things. Don't mansplain every single thing out of your butthole. So Jasmine's like, well, this is all on your head. And he goes, yeah, but you didn't say it, though. OK, you know what? You want to close the door? What do you want everyone to hear us? She's like, I really don't care if they hear us.

I probably would prefer it. So now it's evening and Simon who's not controlling at all, he's just someone who is in a platoon and it has to explain common sense things otherwise they make it shot. And since this is a life or death experience, he is now mansplaining to Jasmine, what sort of dress that she should be wearing

or how she should be dressed. He's like, please don't wear long, flowy pants in a shirt. Okay, that only looks good when you've got heels on and not flat and you have to wear flats today because we're on the grass. So do not try and wear heels only flats. She's like, I don't even have flats.

Fucking put a heel through his head. How is anybody taking this? Walk the fuck out flats. Fucking put a heel through his head. How is anybody taking this? Walk the fuck out of there, throw a shoe at his head. Just, please show all, throw all the flats onto his head. So then Janice is like, she's sort of like, as my dad would say, she's cruts and around. She's just lying under bed. And then Jasmine is about to head outside

and tell us, cause baby, I'm telling you, you need sandals for that grass. I'm pretty sure this is not the first time Jasmine has walked on grass in her life, especially in shoes. I think she can figure it out. So then outside Jordan comes out and Alex goes, oh Jordan, you look thick.

And Preston goes, excuse me, what did he just say? And Jordan goes, that I look thick. I don't know if I feel objectified or complimented. Like what the fuck? And Alex is like, maybe we can call it objective in it. My bad. Didn't mean to offend you, just being honest. Oh, thank you for your honesty right now.

So Alex goes, I'm just big in you up, Jordan. You're looking thick. Maybe it would have sounded better saying that there yeah is seeing rare air. Wonder why he didn't really break through the way his cousin did. I can't believe John Legend has an hired you as a lyricist yet. Or a backup singer. Like that. Or a horoscope.

Or a horoscope reader. Really, honestly. You're so mediocre at everything you do. I cannot believe you haven't excelled at something yet soon but I I hate the thing that he says something that clearly does not land well with Jordan and he goes sorry just being honest you're sorry just being tacky so then I just being honest it's's a gross. But then so then he goes and tells Jordan he goes, Oh, by the way, I've been meaning to tell you in poet form, by the way, when we first got in this house, I saw a mass. And I felt like they were signing signing you to a person.

And I really liked you in the Gerson Gerson. And she's like, who were they assigning me to? And he's like, Amir, you hear? And Nick supported him in that. And we get us. And because it was a disservice to everyone else, because no one got to know each other and everyone's trying to hook up. And I just said, look up in the air. His Jordan's. So, um, Jordan's like, well, I thought it was very clear. I'm not hooking up with anybody. And first of all, this is such a sneaky thing because, yeah, first of all, um, there shouldn't be dibs anyway, but like obviously a mirror, a mirror is obviously into her, right? Doesn't mean that she's not obligated.

She's not obligated. Okay, I'm taking dibs. I take dibs. I don't like the dibs either. You don't get to do that. No, you absolutely don't get to do that. This is Alex basically just trying to, you just sort of like undercutting to at the same time.

And it's definitely like a violation of bro code. And under the, I think what I don't like is the dishonesty of it, of like it's under the guise of like, I wanna talk about something deeper here. I'm like, you are calling dibs in just the same way as a mirror's calling dibs, but you're doing it under the guise of being, you know, more soulful or deeper or something like that.

I just, it bothered me. Yeah, he's been sneaky throwing that guy into the bus and trying to make him look bad to her so that he can automatically win, which why would, first of all, it's been sneaky throwing that guy into the bus and trying to make him look bad to her so that he can automatically win, which why would first of all it's not winning, but also wouldn't you want so much to just be attracted to you just because they're attracted to you and not because. I don't understand the whole I don't understand the whole male thing on this show of like she's too stupid like I call dibs like she has no choice like she's not going to have any say who she's too stupid. Like I call dibs. Like she has no choice. Like she's not gonna have any say in who she's attracted to. And yeah, saying like, oh my God,

well they're trying to pawn you off on people. Like you think she's too stupid to pick who she's attracted to as well? I mean, yeah, exactly. She's an emotional invalid. Like she just, she's too stupid to do anything for herself. She's like an actual Hollywood girl. I wouldn't say she's like the manic pixie dream girl, but she's basically just a vessel

for these guys to pour their emotions into. And like, oh, a mirror call dibs on you first, but that wasn't fair. So I'm going to call dibs on you now, basically. And so I'm here instead. I was a little annoying in the beginning like on you now, basically. And so I'm here instead. It was a little annoying in the beginning, like the first episode when she's like, I know I'm cute.

What else do you have? You know, like that whole attitude of like, I'm hot, I get it. So what else? But you see what she's talking about, you know what I mean? Because guys are like, okay, she's objectively the hottest one.

So let's all fight over her and not give her shit. Like she has no say to anything. Yeah, she does. She's hot. And I'm just gonna fuck her so I can say that I fucked her because I want to be like the main guy in the house. You know, it's so gross. And so you can kind of see where she's coming from. And as she said, I wasn't a not date any of them, but unfortunately, I don't think that's gonna happen. So I actually, I actually, I really have grown to adore a mirror, so I actually would want them to get together, but she's not interested in, so therefore it's not gonna happen.

And Jordan tells us, I'm just like perplexed. Like, somehow you guys are having a side conversation about me that I'm not part of, I'm not claimed to anybody, I'm not attached to anybody. And she said, But it's also very Jordan, because she goes, would you guys having a side conversation without me there? I mean, what's, how does that work?

I was like, that's what a side conversation is. It is literally having a conversation with you. I'm there. It's like, okay, well, we're going to invite into this conversation where we both say, yeah, she's so hot. Like I definitely want to see if I can do something with her. Like you just sit right there. But yeah, but they definitely are.

There is that line between like, oh, I'm interested in her versus like, they're treating her like she's an actual breakfast sandwich. The last breakfast sandwich on the platter and who's gonna get the breakfast sandwich. So, yeah. So then Alex is like, nice pants, whoever. And who comes out, oh Simon comes out.

And Alex is like, wow, nice pants Simon. I don't even remember what Simon was wearing. So I imagine that that's a completely reasonable response. He's like in a tweed jacket with like a little cap and a smoker, like a little pipe or something like that in a bow tie. Just something, Casual. The shini is like, I'm not here to like have stupid conversations about like you not being wearing a top in the pool or like you're in the pool naked with my boyfriend. Like, I don't care.

I'm here to have fun. So she takes off her top and goes out to the balcony and she's like, hey, no, I just wait for me And Jordan's like, oh no, but she lasts and Jasmine goes, do you see I have a problem with that? Of course you do a fucking course. I like Denise. I like her to give a fuck I like her to and I don't like the way she's been treated by some people in this house. So. Yeah. She hasn't done anything to deserve it yet. I don't even care if she really did stalk that guy

or whatever that is. Yeah. Even if she should be so lucky. He put, he's a public figure who put her on blast and sent all those crazy girls after her. That wasn't cool. And then she comes on this show and she takes it from people. And I like that instead of getting all victim to me about it. She's just like, fuck them.

I'm going to push it further and come out onto the balcony topless. Love it. Yeah. I was good. It was so good. Really good episode. So anyway, Insumations, Silas is awful. So many people are awful. And it's great show. So thanks everyone for listening and being here and watching us on video. We hopefully will see a bunch of you guys this week and next week maybe some people from Martha's Vineyard like residents of Martha Vineyard will take a ferry up to Boston where we'll be next week. I don't know why I said that. Bye everyone.

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