Watch What Crappens - Summer House MV: Deuces for Phil

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

A house meeting on Summer House: Martha's Vineyard (S1E03) leads to the ejection of two housemates. Meanwhile, Alex fills his soul with affirmations before passing judgment on Shanice.Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/83408568See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today live from fake Martha's Vineyard is Mr. Ronnie Karen. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello. It's nice to be here. Stalking the Obama's in front of the Obama.

Martha's Vineyard home. I know. It's a beautiful place. I can't believe you got the invitation. Looks wonderful. Yeah. We're on video. We're on video every day these days.

So if you want to watch our videos, go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ins. If you support us on crap ins on demand, you'll get access to the videos. You get access to all the videos. It's great a week early. And then after a week, they go up onto YouTube. So you can go check us out on YouTube, watch or crap ins on YouTube. So go do that. Also on Patreon, there is a bonus episode every week.

So that's also a super fun thing to listen to and for us to record. But also we're here. It's the we're coming towards the end of May and then in June, the tour picks up again for the final six stops. It's going to be a wild and fun ride. We're going to San Diego. We're going to St. Paul, Minnesota, Chicago, Columbus, Ohio, Boston, Boston, and then we're going to finish it all up at Foxwoods, Casino and Connecticut. Go to watchcraftpins.com to get your tickets. Don't miss out because once the shows are done, then that's it. That's it. Sorry North America. No more touring for the rest of the year. Maybe not until next year, who knows when we'll start up again. So go check that out.

up again. So go check that out. And then today we are here to talk some summer house Martha's Vineyard, which I personally am absolutely loving. I think the season is so, so good. I'm having a great time. There's a third episode. We talked about second episode briefly on our bonus episode last week, but now we're back with a full proper recap. Okay. Okay. You know, this is a great show. There are so many shows on, we were asking you guys what to keep, what we should throw to the back burner. This one, one by a landslide in feedback. You guys were all really wanting this show to be covered.

And guess what, we're glad because we love this show. It's amazing. And it's also, especially, it resonates especially this season because summer house has not had the best season. Okay. And summer house has been diluting its brand with this winter house bullshit nonsense. I agree. I agree. down our throat. And so it was actually really nice to have a good version of summer house, because hopefully it'll keep the other summer house on its toes or get it on its toes in the first place. Because guess what? It's not on its toes right now. It's not on its toes or get it on its toes in the first place. Cause guess what? Smoth on its toes right now.

Okay. It's not on its back. Yeah. It's on its back. It's not on its boat shoes. It's all. It's on Spock Mart. It's in its white jeans.

Yeah. No, like other summer house. I mean, we've gotten all wrapped up in the stupid Lindsay Danielle drama. So people are definitely whipped up in it. But the actual season has been like not great. And I think you can just make a great point that Winterhouse is diluting it a bit. And I think that now, like Martha's Vineyard is really showing what happens when you put like people who are just, I feel like

there's like real friendships in there. And I guess people in Summer House have real friendships at this point, but I just feel there's like more of an awareness of the camera on Summer House. Now that's like not as appealing. But this point, but I just feel there's more of an awareness of the camera on Summer House. Now that's not as appealing. But this show, whatever, fuck that show at the moment. This show is so good. Love this cast. I'm like, I got, I love Jasmine.

And, you know, Amir, the first time we did a recap, I was like, he's such a fuck boy. He's such a fuck boy. But guess what? I love Amir. Oh, man, I hate it. I was like, I feel like he's a fuck boy. But he's won me over. I don't know. I don't know what I love a mirror. Oh man, I hate it. I was like I feel like he's a fuck boy But he's won me over. I don't know. I don't know to do with myself. Really? Yeah

I like him. I mean, I didn't not like him in the beginning So I like him. I guess the same amount but he does that like a bro thing where he's like Whenever he gets mad he's as Lee and Lockin would say on real housewives of Dallas. Boat me. Boat me. I think it was it was the scene where he was like carrying a ladder around the house like doing some weird stuff And I was like, okay, I think I'm you know, the ladder stuff. Yeah, I did like that when they say God We're always trying to figure out what Amir is doing. He's, you know, carrying a ladder or he's sauteing something. Like that's something so crazy. I'm like, married the person right now.

I'm so curious. Please do that. I've literally never dated somebody that I'm like, oh my God, look at him sauteing things and carrying around a ladder. I would be married by now. Please do it, someone. Yeah, no, I'm all into this cast.

So shall we dive in? Should we dive back into? Oh, speaking of diving in, I have to say thank you to Bravo for that little mermaid commercial. Did you see it, Ben? You know, I did see it. It was a great, thank you. It's the best movie tie- in we've had on Bravo. The little mermaid starring Siree, Sonia and the Countess. Siree and Sonia are sitting on the beach.

And Sonia's got like opera glasses and she's like, oh my god, what is that? Luhuan? Is that Luhuan out there on the rock? And it just cuts to Lewand sitting on a rock in a blue like a ball-gown dress going, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's like is somebody running over the little mermaid in reverse? What's happening to the little mermaid? It really does explain Lewand's singing voice though, you know?

Like now we understand oh Ursula stole it now all of her songs make sense Girl they would have been a totally different plot Ursula would have been giving the voice back She's like I'll do whatever you want. Just please don't stick me with this voice my poor unfortunate ears Please please just takes Ariel's voice in singer songs. Each one of you has been with Tom. You poor unfortunate holes in pain, in need. Oh, and now I'd like to sing a song that I dedicate to Bethany Frankel, which he has sex, under the seawood, under the seawood. Bethany Frankel, when she has sex. Under the seaward. Under the seaward. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Work? Coming out, May 26th. Wow.

Okay. Sorry. Let's get on with Summer House, Martha's Vineyard. We didn't mention that during Real Housewives of Atlanta, and I literally died. I died watching that. So good. Yeah. Bravo.

And just the idea that they would put Luan and Sonia with Shirei was like a great twist. I was not expecting that. Yeah. So, yeah. So now we're back. We're at a cliffhanger last week, which is that this guy Phil came into the house. He's like eight feet tall. And he came in and he has a huge amount of entitlement because he claims that he reserved a bed, even though he wasn't in the house, he told Bria, who is the house's dipty dot, okay? He told Brea, he's got a phrase, dipty dot. I don't know.

It is slightly with you, this is not the first dot. Yeah, you said Bipony Bop, and now there's the dipty dot. She's the dipty dot. She's a dipty dot. I don't know what I'm saying. She's a hula hoop. A hula hoop, though. She's a hula hoop.

She's a dondidly. She's a domed Italy, like James James can be dumb to live. Anyway, I'm gonna say Bippie Bob. Going back to Bippie Bob, I think it's because Dom says Bippie Bob a lot. She's like she's a Bippie Bob. Oh, is that where it comes from? I think so. I think I just took Dom's language. But so she was face timed, fill in on a house tour on the first day and Phil said, put a note on that bed. That's gonna be mine. And what she didn't do, and even if she had done,

that does not, so you're not here. You're not here. You don't get to call the things, and you're not here. Yeah, you don't get to hold down an entire room for three days, three or four days if you're not there. I agree with you. I think that that's uncool.

But here's my opinion. Phil never should have laughed. He's amazing. He's amazing TV. This show is amazing every second he was on it. It was hilarious. Of course I disagree with him because he got his revenge by going into Nick's room.

And he's like, fuck Nick, which he didn't really know yet, but he was right. I mean, Nick is kind of a douchebag. So he was right and being like, fuck that guy. He stole my room. And then he's like, I'm gonna shit in his toilet. So then he shit in Nick's toilet and then didn't flush it. And then told Nick.

And so then Nick got all mad about it. Even though he already knew about this before. He found out and he's like, I don't think we should be doing this. And he's like, but I already told you I'd shit in your bathroom. So now Phil's like, why are you guys coming for me? Already seducing his bathroom. And Phil's starting to get whining, like a little boy who's gotten in trouble.

Exactly. So like the cliffhanger was basically just Phil just being like a dick. And then a mirror just coming up to him and being like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You're acting like you own this place and you haven't been here. Like we've been here for four days.

We've already established shit. Like we already created Dynamics, we choose, we chose room, and so then Phil sort of like steps to him. Like he's gonna like, he's like saying something, he says something like, shut your small mouth or like something like your, I'm gonna beat your small ass. I heard that.

Short, short, short, short. Because this was one of those moments, hold on, I'm just making sure I'm not running over my dog with my cherry sitting at my feet. This is one of those moments. Have you ever been in front of a fun house mirror and been like, is this the fat mirror or the thin mirror? Like sometimes my body dysmorphia is so weird.

I'm not really, I think I look fine, even in a fun house mirror, I guess is what I'm saying. And this is a moment I'm having with a mirror in Phil's face because a mirror tries to step to Phil, right? And he starts like bowing and going, like, come on, come on, because we're gonna live here. So what are you gonna do about it? This is our house.

And then Phil just looks down at him and I'm like, is Phil in funny, in fun mirror, like is Phil the tall mirror or is a mirror the short mirror? Do you know what I mean? Like which one of them is two, two? Which one of them? Which one's out of the, which one's out of the median range?

And like, who is in this, who are, how many standard deviations apart? Who is more standard deviations apart? And, are you tiny, tiny, or are you tall tall? I think it's all the above. Because we see actually later on, they say a mirror is 5'7", and then they say, and Phil is so tall, at one point he's walking

on the room and his forehead is like, the door peeks at his forehead. So it's small and tall together. And we also have this strange angle from a security camera. So everything is just sort of crazy. And so anyway, there are like, Amir is like, yeah, let me show you what this small

ask of you to do your big ass, you know? Which was hot. So, I mean literally both of them are really cute. They are. So, I mean, literally both of them are really cute. They are. So, yeah, so it feels like, how close do you want me to get? Short, short, short, short, short. And then Preston is pushing a mirror back.

And he's like, come on guys. And a mirror's like, respect the house, bro. Respect the house. And then a mirror tells us his backstory. He's like, bullying is a huge trigger for me, because I got bullied in school, because you know, I'm like really smart. I'm like an Erkel type dude,

and then when they sent that, they cut right to next face. Not very nice. Not very nice. Hilarious? Not nice. Yeah. I love when people say bullying is a huge trigger for me, because the person says you know what bullying is not really a trigger for me

I'm like not really I'm not really bothered by it like of course Yeah, but bullying is a trigger for everyone a bullying wasn't a trigger It wouldn't be a bull you wouldn't be bullying is not then bullying is no longer bullying right so I just you know Here's the thing and I'm not I don't want to take away anyone's experience from when they're young Because I don't know who's been bullied and who has not been bullied. Here's what I will say, hot people shouldn't complain about bullying. I don't care if it was true.

I don't care if you got hot yesterday. At some point you're hot enough or you're not allowed to say you were bullied, because you're hot now. You know what I mean? Like you eventually won. I don't want to hear about your bullying. Okay?

Like, that's it. I don't need to even talk anymore than that. I'm upset because he's too hot to complain about. I know, you're too hot. You're watering it down for the rest of us, okay? Some of us really had to go through some shit, dude, and you're like a fucking supermodel up here. Everyone's in love with you, and you're like,

yeah, I'm not gonna take bullies because I was bullied, because I'm so smart, really. I know. That's why they cut to Ming, because they're like, they're like, this is a better example of someone who was bullied.

Poor Nick. He sort of reminds me of like a cartoon turtle, you know, like I can sort of see him like poking his head out, being like, I'm Nick. I'm kidding. Look at me, I'm bullying, I'm bullying Nick. There's something. You're bullying.

I literally just bullied Nick and that was like so unwarranted. I'm sorry Nick, but I meant that I would love. I think cartoon turtles are the cutest. So totally, totally made up for it. That made up for it, you know? So Amir is basically telling Preston and Silas that like Phil's disrespecting people and the house and everything He's like this shit will escalate and I've no problem handling business I love all the clips they show this is Phil's Phil already has a clip a greatest of clip section because that's how good Phil is

Okay, they're like he came in here disrespecting anyone and goes five minutes earlier and Phil going up to Preston and go Preston trying to tell something to Phil and Phil says, if that shirt was one size bigger. And then he took a sit next toilet. Another greatest hit and Phil going, I did take a sit in your toilet. And then he came, said something about Alex. And then meanwhile, let me just trying to be all tough.

And so he has his hand down his pants like grabbing his weiner. I'm here. Please stop. Lemur, please stop. Please just, just, but you're embarrassing, okay, with your bowling and your hand down your pants. Stop it. You know, Phil would do great in winterhouse actually. He has the chaotic real world, like, butamurri energy that that winterhouse is aspiring for. So maybe just like send him over to that show because I think he'd get great there.

Um, so Preston's like, that's it. He said my shirt was too small. He's gotta go, I'm done with him. And Alex is like, well, if he doesn't go, then I'm done. So everyone starts making this big stand out. Phil has to go, we are all agreeing. You are all idiots. Phil is the best thing that's ever happened to this show

and the two episodes that it took for him to get here. How dare you? Yeah, like if this show were more established, I think people would view Phil as like the else in Dubois of Summer House Martha's Vineyard. So as in, he's like this thing that was there for one second and then gone, but middle-lasting impression.

So she needs comes downstairs and she's like, well, what the hell happened in 30 seconds? I just went upstairs and Jasmine's telling everyone, Jasmine's going around and she's like, she's like, I appreciate you, I appreciate you black man, I appreciate you black man, and I appreciate you and know that I love you and everything. And then she says, Phil and I have never met

in person before, but like, Sianese knows him, and Briah knows him, and we've spoken on the phone several times, and I just want him to feel welcome, and I'm looking forward to his energy. I'm like, okay, we've got 30 seconds of you appreciating his energy before he drives you nuts too. Okay, all right.

So she goes up to Phil and she's like, okay Phil, so when were you supposed to come? And he goes, what does it matter? Like yesterday, the day before, the day before that, who cares? And she goes, oh, okay, so you weren't supposed to be here the first day. And he's like, yeah, I'm supposed to be here every day.

Like he's on the defensive because he's just assumed that she's gonna be coming for him, but she's not. Yeah, and she's like, why are you cursing at me? Like, I'm trying to talk to you. And he's like, okay, okay, I'm sorry. She goes, I'm just trying to figure out what's going on because I'm tired of all this bullshit and he goes, I shitness toilet.

I mean, pick fucking deal. Like, who cares? And she goes, but why? And he's like, because it was my toilet. And she's like, but he didn't know it was your toilet. Because no one told them. And he's like,

that bippity-bott, that's not my fault. Ha ha ha. Why aren't we cursing a Brio right now? And maybe even Milo, let's curse a fucking Milo. I support that. I support this thing at Milo. But why would we curse at Milo? I hate when people have no sense of humor.

He's obviously kidding. And she's like, but why would we curse at my low? I hate when people have no sense of humor. He's obviously kidding and she's like, but why would we yell at my low? He goes, well, because he pissed me off earlier, because he had me chasing him around the house. I mean, have you ever tried to catch my low? I'll give you a, you know, I'll give you 100 right now. I'll put 100 on the table right now if you can't catch him.

And Jordan's like, that's the side of the point. Well, she's getting annoyed. I think she knows it's a joke, but she's getting annoyed because he's deflecting and he's being like, and she And Jordan's like, that's beside the point. Well, she's getting annoyed. I think she knows it's a joke, but she's getting annoyed because he's deflecting and he's being like, and she's trying to like, actually, he's sort of being hostile towards her. And then he's like deflecting when she's calling him out on it.

And then feels like beside the point, like I'm putting up cold, hard cash to prove my point. And such when he's come down, I was like, Phil, what is going on here? What's going on, car? I love that she's so dorky this girl. I just love, I love a dorky play boy model. Like I just love that, I love that character in general.

She's just like, hey, what's going on over here? And he's like, you're my favorite. And Jordan's like, you know what, you're being rude and I'm trying to, he's like, you, I mean, I'm not being rude to you. I just called you cute. And then he looks at her boobs. This guy is such a bitch. She's like, oh, I'm so desperate to be fulfilled

to call me cute. My life is made. It's so happy, you know? So, a stylist, meanwhile, is like, I wanna call a house meeting. I wanna call a house meeting. And so Jasmine starts like gathering people. And then she goes, she goes to people, she goes,

okay, hey guys, ladies, ladies, come in here. And Phil goes, and gentlemen, gathering people. And then she goes, she goes to people, she goes, okay, hey guys, ladies, ladies, come in here and Phil goes, and gentlemen, and gentlemen. So then Jordan's like, oh, are you a gentleman? Cause you don't get that title. You've been rude as fuck. You get the title of Motherfucker sitting out of couch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I shit next toilet. I'll shit in your toilet next, you know, it's like it's just and then we get another Uts We get multiple poop And so Jordan's like do it do it. So now she starts ameering it where she's like too mad at this guy who's obviously kidding

And she's like do it then go upstairs in this house. We flush toilets bitch And now she's I'm mad and pressed on my god. And she's like, oh, watch you. Oh, watch you do it, bitch. Go ahead, bitch. And she's screaming about pooping. And then Preston's like, yeah, I'm not into the whole spitting in the mouth thing.

Which I guess is because she's yelling. And Preston joins about to whoop his ass everybody. And it's like, you think I'm scared? I will watch you shit. I loved it because I feel like Phil was being a total dick. I mean, like yeah, he was like, I mean, he was like, yes, he was making jokes too, but like he was being a dick

and he was disrespectful to Jordan. And I loved it. She just like, no, fuck you. Fuck you, come into this house and you think you're just gonna like have a moment, you have a reality show moment, you know? And you know no, fuck you. Fuck you, come into this house and you think you're just gonna have a moment, you have a reality show moment, you know? And you know what, fuck you. So, and then, so now they have a house meeting.

They're gonna, well, not, they don't have it, but so I'll just keep saying, we're gonna have a house meeting. We're gonna have a house meeting. And so the producers are making Phil stay in the kitchen while everyone is gonna gather downstairs in the basement. And Phil's like, wait, I just got here, I'm already on a time out. They're like, yes, yes, you know.

Yeah, the producers are like, yes. I love that he's already surrounded by all the producers. I go, Jesus Christ, you know, the second this guy comes in. What's again, is a good sign of a good cast member, guys. Commissions, here comes one right now. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty. And now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you got to keep the overall cost down.

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And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of Impossible. I am so excited to be spending time cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet.

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So then Jordan's like saying she's frustrated. It makes like, yeah, he took a shit in my bathroom and I'm frustrated. Like, I didn't even bring pants for that moment. And I have a pair of pants for every moment in this house. And Silas is like, okay, everybody, house meeting. When somebody has the football, they can talk. This is the talking football.

Like, oh, for fuck's sake. Of course, the one who says that always starts holding the talking things. Always. You don't get to declare only I can talk in a meeting. Fuck off. You're not even the one with any problems in this house. I also wanna mention that as long,

whoever's holding the football, also is allowed to stay up til 3 a.m. at a bar and can accept free drinks. So unless they're holding the football, I'm sorry, that's just gonna to be off the table for you. Yeah, controlling a stylist, of course. So then Nick's like, so can we just interject because we're adults and we probably don't need a football. And stylist is like, I'm married. And so I feel better that we have the football. So the issue we have here is Phil disrespecting

a large number of people who have really been making an effort to come Come home at a godly hour. Yeah, I appreciate I also just want to point out another rule of football. You can only hold it if you're married So I just need to get this to Jasmine right now Jasmine you have no Jasmine. I have to take it away from you I don't want you saying up to 3 a.m So you can no longer hold this football. Sorry about that.

So basically they have a vote. Like, okay, all those in favor of kicking Phil out of the house because he's like a dick. Everyone raises their hand. All opposed, it was like no one. So they're like, okay, well, Phil has to leave. Well, but also this sex

because Mariah is not included in this. Like, they don't even think to include Mariah. Hello, she's a house mate. Yeah, how did they do that? Well, Mariah is kind of in the outside area where she, her runes in the separated part of the house, like the guest house or whatever. So she comes into the kitchen and sees Phil. Well, she loves Phil, right? Because Phil takes nothing seriously and she thinks that Phil's going to change her

luck in the house. So he's like, hey, you all right, you got a roommate yet? She says, no, you got a room yet. So it looks like, okay, this is gonna work out. But they've just devoted him out, right? So Mariah goes, I kinda wish we had some sasson and he goes, what's his own? She goes, seasoning and he goes, bring some sasson. By the way, though, but Jasmine, who's like best, best, best friends,

Mariah, how do you not like say, hey, we can't start this meeting without Mariah, you know? Like, how do you not, how do you do that? You know, but I guess maybe, but also they probably thought like, it was only gonna be a meeting about Phil, so who the hell cares, right? Because it was so clear they're gonna kick him out, that they just have to go through the formality of doing a house meeting because probably the producers said you have to do house meetings like, okay, let's just do the house meeting. But there's a twist because then because Jasmine's like, well, whoever invited Phil needs to have the conversation with Phil. So, Bria, I'm going to make you have a difficult conversation. And Bria's like, well, fuck this. That's my friend. And now you want me to have to be the one to kick him out. I'm gonna turn this all around on you.

Right. And she's like, well, do you guys not recall what Mariah did to me right before we left dinner? And then we see six hours ago where Mariah is like, you put shit in with, you put shit in the dry, you put dog shit in the dryer with clean towels. And then it became like a light push. You're gonna say a light push. I think, I think they were unfair tomorrow.

I just, you shoot never put your hands on somebody. I get it, but you guys are being drama queen. You're being a bunch of fucking answer. Don't put your hands on someone. I'm not violent though. But like, don't put your hands, I get it. But that's, they're really a few. A few minutes. She's like, take's they're really shoved long after she's like take this laundry

She shoved it into her it was rude I Don't think it was a kick out of the house of all offense. I think this was an attempt to be really Um It was an attempt by I think Well-intended people to try to respect and honor the voice of someone who felt they had been Agrests, but that being said I think I Don't know I think this was to me was not this was to me was not violence. I'm sorry. This was not taking a swing. This was not like

This was like take this laundry here take this laundry, I thought it was rude. I think it was a rubber band. It wasn't a rubber band. Yeah, it deserved to talk. It didn't deserve what it is. It deserved a, if you do this again, we'll kick you out. Not a, we're just gonna kick you out. And you're not gonna get a chance

to defend yourself either, by the way. I agree, and I'm just gonna go on the record again. Jasmine sucks. Jasmine sucks. Okay, because that's supposedly her best friend who she slept out of a car with. And by the way, you're the reason you slept out of a car cause you told her to come

and didn't tell her you were getting kicked out of your place. So she got stuck with your ass in her car. She didn't even decide to live with you in the car. You basically made her come to New York City and then slept in her car. And now you're gonna do this? This is a two for two for the bait and switch of Jasmine and Mariah's lodgings. Okay?

This is two. First time, come up to New York. Right. And Mariah comes up to New York, guess what? We're sleeping in your car. Hey, come to Martha's Vineyard. Hey, guess what? We're gonna make you look like a super violent angry lady and kick you off the island.

That's not fair. I'm your special favorite. And Mariah was my favorite. Yeah the island. That's not fair. And I'm more like my favorite. Yeah. Yeah, this was not cool. So, um, Jasmine's, someone asks, they're like, well, where is she? She should be here too. And Bri is like, well, she lives here too,

but can we just say she put her hands on me? And it goes, no, she didn't. And she goes, um, if we're talking about this, then she needs to go because she put her hands on't. And she goes, um, if we're talking about this, then she needs to go because she put her hands on me. And if my friends got to go, then Jasmine's friends got to go. So Silas is like, okay, well, Bria has stated that Mariah assaulted her. I have the talking football. Let's take a vote. Oh my god. This was crazy. I, you know, to me, this really read like it was a, This is crazy. You know, to me, this really read like it was a,

again, I'm not trying to take away the voice of people who have, you know, have laundry pushed into them. I am. I'm so sorry. But I'm trying to say, this came from a place of revenge. This came from a place of spite, like, ha.

Like, if you're gonna do this to me, I'm gonna do it to you. Not from a place of like, like, that, that was a really violent thing. Now people will say, oh, but you know, you don't know what trauma she's been through. You don't know what the push can what that what that sums up, what that brings up and yada yada yada. Honestly, I think what this deserve was Mariah come down here. We as a group, we did not like that. We put your hands on Bria.

It was totally wrong. But we know you as a person and we're saying, we're gonna let slide this time, but if you do it again, we're gonna have to ask you leave. Not just be like, I just feel like it elevated also Mariah's wrong doings to what Phil was doing. I think what Phil was doing was so much worse that I thought I vote to keep Mariah, I say vote Milo out.

Well, it's also the Amir was just about to get physical with Phil, and they had to pull him away. They're acting like what Mariah did is this horrible. I don't like it. It's pissing me off. And Jordan, too, Jordan's like, well, I really like Mariah, but I saw it in a West bullshit. And we see Jordan telling Jasmine about it when they were at the club.

And the way that she pushed Jasmine to show like the example was not how she was pushed so this whole thing not cool to me It was disrespectful. It was yeah, it was disrespectful to push someone is disrespectful But I don't it wasn't like it wasn't the same way that Jordan gave the example right Jordan I just boom and that's not what happened. She touched the laundry, so you can take your laundry. Okay, take it, take it, and put it into her chest. And you know what, and this is what fucking Bravo does, you know, we're still talking about this,

to this level of detail, because we have to. Whenever something like this happens on Bravo, you have to go over it framed by fucking frame. You know, we've done this for long enough. No, I have to do it. And I declare unfair. I declare unfair too. I'm total in total solidarity with you. And what's annoying is to know that there will be tweets being like, no, it's unacceptable on any level. And then we're going to have to be like,

no, this is what I mean, it's like, well, here's my apology. I'm not apologizing. That wasn't violence and anybody who sang it is is not being being cool and you're being unfair by labeling any woman, but especially a black woman as a violent, you know, aggressor when she got mad about laundry. So give me a fucking break. There's my answer to you. There's my pre-answer to you.

Okay, but I have to take a break a moment. First of all, I'm getting too mad about something that's stupid and I don't care about. Second, I have to point out, Ben on YouTube is the color of Louis from Real Housewives of Jersey, and I am the color of Batboy. So, not really sure why that is.

But Batboy. Batboy. What? I look like Batboy. Totally white. I look like one to suck, but. I've been tanning in this beautiful Martha's Giniere son. Yeah.

Anyway, my life goal is to look like Louie. You know what, it's just all, it's like, so what is it about summer house? Why is it like, is every franchise of summer house? We want it's like one of, like having, we're not even arguing with each other. We're like arguing with theoretical people who are arguing with us back.

But, we're on the same side. But by the way, and you read, you just read like right into my brain, I totally agree with everything you just said. I back you 100%. So, Bria is, you two,

I love you. You always have, you always have my talking football. Oh, you have my talking football. So that means we get to interrupt each other for the rest of time. So either way, Jasmine,

Jasmine now, they basically like, yeah, we gotta put up Mariah, which felt like total bullshit, because she's been in the house for three days, I don't even give her a chance to talk. Like I understand not giving Philip a chance to talk, because he just got there, but Mariah has been in this household.

So. Yeah, and also, I thought we had hope, because Silas says, well, I want to recommend that we draw the line that if you physically assault another cast member that you're gone. I love that he said cast member. First of all, they're already like, we're on a TV show. And if you do that, then you're gone.

So I thought, okay, we'll draw that line now and just tell Mariah, but instead he goes, okay, some Mariah has to leave. No, we just have to make a new law. We've just had to make a new law. Yeah, and we've retroactively decided you're guilty. After you destor moon mass, come on, you guys are heartless people. Well, don't forget, by the way, to be fair, Bria is not comfortable with Mariah in the house. Don't you remember she has an emotional support dog?

Okay, it all makes sense now, guys. Oh, yeah. This is a revenge for fucking Milo because she she teamed up with Jasmine to come from Milo and I think this is Breeze revenge and it goes back to bed not liking that damn dog in the first place now. I'm not gonna hold this against Milo. I'm a dog a person. I'm a Milo person. I think

Milo's adorable, but fuck Breeze. I'll say that. Yeah. Honestly. So Jasmine is like, okay, I'll have a conversation with Mariah. And she's like, Mariah I'll have a conversation with Mariah. And she's like, Mariah is my best friend. Even though she's not married, it's weird. It's weird having to talk to her. It's like a different language.

But at the same time, I didn't see her put her hands on her. Just like I haven't seen all those failed dates that she's gone on that haven't led to a marriage. This is uncool to say she's my best friend. And yet you don't say that she's in the room. You don't let her have a say. You just let everybody railroad you and don't even argue. You put up no defense.

You, ma'am, are a shit friend. You suck. But hilarious TV to me personally. So great on the show. Great. Great work. All of you love your show, but you're a shit person and a shit friend. And I will never let you sleep in my car.

Wow. Yeah, well, I'm not gonna let really anyone sleep in my car to be honest. Unless it's like a family member or a good friend and they like to need the shop owner. I guess when I said anybody, I really met people from Bravo, you know? That's true. You don't want to bravo, first.

You come out to get your car and you just hear, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, That's true. You don't want to rob up first. You come out to get in your car and you just here. Oh My car with your fucking fork in your ball. Okay So so Nick finally flushes the poop and five hours past hours. He did me. Okay, so Nick Let me get this straight Phil goes up to you and says, I shit in your bathroom. You get mad at him. Then you come home, you get mad at him again. You still never went, you went down and you looked at the poop,

then you came up and you got mad again. You never flushed the poop? What were you expecting? Was it that important for you for Phil to get go down and actually flushed the poop himself? Flushed the poop, guys. I don't care if it's your poop. If you go into a public restroom

and there is poop in the toilet, you don't go outside crying who pooped in there. You flush it. That's what happens to poop. We need to agree as a society when you see poop, you flush the poop. See something say something. See something.

Flush something. Look, he, while he tried a power play where he said, Phil, I mean, you need to flush that poop. And you know, Phil's never going to do that. In no world, we'll feel ever do that. Phil's not going to flush the poop. It's like when, you know, it's like when, when you're like, reprimanding children, you can't, you can't threaten them with something that that's not, you're not going to be able to fall through with, right? Like, if you say you have to flush that poop, now you know you can never flush that poop, because then you lose. But that's not realistic. if you say you have to flush that poop, now you know you can never flush that poop,

because then you lose. But that's not realistic, you're gonna have to flush that poop. So you can't abuse them either anymore. Unfortunately, you can't just pinch the fuck out. You can't just say you do you flush that toilet door. I'm gonna pinch you, because that's physical assault. So what I did, what I used to do with my nieces is I would say I'm gonna shock you, I'm gonna shock you.

If you don't do it, they'd be like, no, you won't. And then I just like rub on the carpet, rub my hands on the carpet, and then touch them and shock their ass. They'd be, no! And they thought I was magic for the longest time, but it worked. I do wanna say, I just wanna lay a ground rule

that on this podcast, if you put your electricity on somebody, we're gonna have to ask you to leave. So Ronnie, you have to go. No, because that was the rule before. No, we unfortunately retroactively decided that you were using satellite electricity for bad, yeah. All right, so first, Brea talks to Phil. Now, Brea, I'm not a fan of right now,

I think she's in a home, but I do think she handled this very well. She goes, all right, come sit down. I'm gonna lay into you. Everyone's uncomfortable with what you did. I didn't see it, but you gotta go home. I know, she just looked like boom. She just did it, she just said it.

And he's like, what? He's like, I just got here. And he goes, it's your fault, unfortunately, because you were supposed to leave a note. And he said there was no note left. And I'm not gonna let, like, be in trouble for this. I'm not going to do that. Embrie was like, hmm, does that justify you sitting in someone's toilet and not flushing

it? And he goes, I could have done many other things. This is still your fault. I was like, Phil, excuse me. This is like your one friend in the house. So you idiot. So I'm pressed in and the girls are listening and then they run off and they hear him stalking off.

So his car arrives and he goes, oh my god, I took a shit in this toilet. What would Obama have done? And that's his final line and he is taken out to a song called Bounce Bounce and driven away. Luckily this time he didn't drop all of his bags on the front stoop like he did when he walked into the house. He made it out. Yeah, he made it out this time. I also like the continuing storyline between Atlanta, which was before this show, and then this show, because Candy has a storyline about a girl bouncing in her face,

and now we have a song called Bounce Bounce, as Phil Bounce is. So I appreciate the continuity there. Yeah. So Jasmine is now telling Silas that she just feels really nauseous, but I think it's because it's like after 11 p.m. and she knows he's gonna yell at her soon. So she's like, oh, what do I do? But Jasmine is like, she's like,

I'm already in a space where I'm extra cautious with my friendships and how they've been evolving since the wedding. I was like, excuse me, just stop it. Stop it. Stop it right now. This is gonna be my first fight with Mariah as a married person. And for me, that's a huge difference in friend fighting. Like, really gonna have to work on that. When you fight with someone and like, they are single, but your marriage,

you just like throw rice in their face or like a bouquet. Like, how do you do it? You know what? I'm gonna give her a chance to take my garter off with her tea. And if that doesn't work out, I just don't know. I'm not sure if we can ever fix this. So Jasmine's like, so um, single person, with you and Bria, single person with you and Brea, like how upset you got, like I was like Mariah, that's not you, you're like the person who's like sweet and calm and sitting at the single table at weddings,

you know, and like neither of you should have gotten into each other's face. I mean, it's not like you guys are too newlyweds putting cake in each other's face because it's so funny to do that at weddings, you know? I mean, you still have to think about things like, how would this look on Tinder? You know what I mean?

And we're like, okay, well, I guess on that, I can agree with you. It's just, and what really breaks my heart, which really isn't anything, because it's like solid gold now that it's intertwined with someone else's heart. It is. And my heart, it's like solid gold now that it's intertwined with someone else's heart. It's also represented in this pendant that my husband gave me.

I don't know if you're familiar with that kind of experience. Yeah. It's like a James A. Freyheart now, unbreakable. So, you know, what really breaks my heart is that we have such a beautiful might that you put together for your moon mass that everybody completely rolled their eyes through and then went to bed early for and completely disrespected to your face. But according to everyone, you touched Bria, and that's a no-go. By the way, that was Jasmine's subtle or not so subtle way of saying, you know, you claim

to be like all spiritual and one with the moon, but you shove bria. So don't act like you are like a like an earth, like what do you call it? Or my last week and it's a valid point, you know, it's always those people who are like, oh my God, the crystals, those two crystals and a moon mass, they're the first person to like try and fight you. You have one thing to go.

And by the way, Alex get ready, because you're coming up next, once this fights over, it's going to be it's all on Alex next. Oh, so more as like, wait, who saw me touch Priya? I want to see who that is. Show me who said they saw me touch Priya. And so what we all thought, she did, you did technically touch Priya. Yeah.

You know, I'm not going to go totally bonkers here on your side. So then Jasmine's like, well, the thing is I wasn't there in the beginning. So I just, you know, I can't add different rules for different people. And you know, I love you, but Bria brought up you being here as a problem. And as the host, I have to handle it the best way I know how. And we think that you leaving and going home is the best. You suck. God, you're a terrible friend. I hope everyone on this show dumps you,

including your husband. You fucking suck, you have no fucking loyalty. Shame on you. I, oddly enough, I actually like Jasmine, but I agree she has zero loyalty in this situation. And, and she's been obnoxious. I think I just like that. She's obnoxious.

I have this terrible thing where I really like obnoxious people on Bravo. But she, I like her. Yeah, this is just a situation. A situational situation. A situational suckitude. But like, basically she's like, you know what? Brea is in a committed relationship. And that's just a little closer to marriage.

So unfortunately, we're gonna have to get rid of you. Single lady. So Mariah is like, I'm really, extremely shocked. Like, why do you feel so comfortable having conversations about me without me even there? And that's what she tells us. And Jasmine's like, are you okay? Now that we voted that we don't want you in this house

anymore without letting you say anything, she's like, yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Yeah, and she's like, I'm gonna go home and focus on my son, which, you know, I like that she said because Jasmine can say she's married, all she wants, but she can't say she has a kid yet. And I know that in like the stepstones to bragging rights, that one's right up there. So Jasmine's like, I'd love to keep talking, but I really am, I've been holding on to this pee. I'm like, oh, God to keep talking, but I really am, I've been holding onto this pee.

I'm like, oh, God. Great, great exit. Great exit. You get worse with every moment. So then she talks about how, you know, she didn't see this going like this and it's uncomfortable, but she's always gonna have Mariah's back. Just like Mariah has hers.

You didn't have her back. Literally, you had no back for her. You like, you held her back. You were a stool. Well, they stabbed her in it. She told Mariah has hers. You didn't have her back. Literally, you had no back for her. You held her back. You were a stool. They stabbed her in it. She told Mariah to sit down in this chair, but you were a stool. And she fell off the chair. Backless.

You're backless. Literally did not have her back. So, um, Shinesh tells Preston that she wants to fuck him here. So there's that. And then Shinesh says, so, and in case you couldn't tell, so she starts employing someone for best

seduction efforts, very on the nose. Because she basically goes into take a shower and then a mirror wants to take a shower. So we knock on the door and he's like, is anyone in there? It's just me bleed nerdy a mirror. Yeah, it's just me, her call out here, this is me, Herkol out here. Fucking six pack Herkol out here.

And she's like, I'm an Herkol, who's in the house out there? It's me, Amir. And she goes, oh, you can come in here. And he's like, no, no, that's okay. And then she just comes out in her thonged topless. And she's like, don't you have a bathroom? Won't be done in 10 minutes. Sorry about the booty.

Oh. I know it was like very, like it was like very obvious. And he's like, but he was like, oh, it's like, he has 21 year old Amir, slightly post-ircle, but not quite like sexy reality TV Amir. We'd probably see this as an opportunity in front of him, but I have a crush on Jordan and sleeping with her best friend,

that same house with her, is not going to win many brownie points. Like, you know you're on Bravo, right? You know you're on Summer House? You know, this is like, you are supposed to do this. You are supposed to go for Jordan, but sleep with Shanese,

and then go all the time. Excuse me for a time. You're on a vial TV show. He'll just get let the flower bloom. OK, the seed has just been dropped into the soil, sir. Don't you know how this goes? Oh, he knows. Well, that's like a dog.

So he's like, well, actually, it's not your booty. It's your tits. And then he looks at the camera in the room. And he goes, did you get that? Give me a nod if you got it. And the camera goes, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom,

Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom, Broom They're like, okay, now that we're done with your two hours of people calling you Erkel and June your high Let's move on to Shini showing you her boobies. Okay guys. Okay. Okay. I

Just I just feel like I've never seen a hot guy on Bravo ever Say hey, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do something because that would be disrespectful to the girl I actually like I'm like this is so this is strange. I don't know what to do with it. It's not this makes any sense. Okay, so now Nick is texting someone. He's saying, you want to FaceTime later? I'm gonna go on a run. And then we see Alex doing like fuckboy yoga in the backyard where he's just on his back with his legs scrunched up to his face and he's

just corn-holing the camera. Yeah. He's like, okay, Alex. Okay, I see. I see you, Alex. This is him. He's being intentional with all his movement. And then, I'm mirrors checking on Mariah as she packs.

You said this the next day, right? This is, so he's checking it on him. Well, it's the next day. It's sunny now. Literally. I don't know what I said to you. It's just that kind of thing. It's a spectrum of time. It's over.

I don't believe in the past. So. Yeah, let's just like move on. Let's not dwell on the past of last night. So it's a re-capper whose life is going on the past. Literally, we have to live in it now. And bring up things from 10 years ago. And remember the time, 10 years ago, when Jack Taylor,

the biggest dog of all the dogs, when Jack Taylor came out, and was like, wow. So a Taylor, the biggest dog of all the dogs, when Jack Taylor came out and was like, wow. So a mere is basically saying he doesn't think that Mariah should have been forced out. I'm like, well, did you vote to force her out? Because I think I saw your hand go up. Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Maybe this is also all his fault which we find out. So he comes to Mariah's room and he's like, listen, you know, I just wanted to tell you. I really liked you You know, I really like you basically and she's like, thank you so much because no one goes to be nice to Mariah Like this is not a good group of people which by the way, great casting They must have liked her by the way, I guess, but this was not nice. It's not a nice group No one's gonna say anything to Mariah you guys not one of you What does she do but tried to have a nice moon night have a nice Moon ritual not knowing that was in on a cold night

Whenever I was just come back from the club. It just wants to go to sleep. That's the worst thing she did So then Bria is FaceTiming Simon her like John M John M'Lava, and he's like, M'Loh, M'Loh, say how to daddy, say how to daddy, M'Loh! And she's like, I am so embarrassed right now, Simon. Like, Phil embarrassed me. Like, the Phil that I know is such a good friend to have. And he took me under his wing as a little sister, but I don't claim this Phil at all. Who is this Phil? Who is this fell?

So then we go to Jasmine Hucking Mariah Goodbye. Still not another person has said a thing to Mariah. And then Bria and Shanice are by the pool and talking about. Fill basically. They're gonna fill. Like should we call fill and see how he is? And then Jasmine's telling Mariah,

look, you're gonna be fine. I know things right now are not good, but you're gonna be good in the future. So then Shini's death call Phil. And he's like, we want. And she's like, why don't you just say sorry to everyone? I mean, you owe everyone an apology.

That's all you have to do is say you're sorry. He's like, for what? Shooting in someone's bathroom. And she's like, yeah, it's disgusting. Why would you do that? It goes, it's hilarious. Fuck all of you, I'm out by. Exactly.

And she's like, that was rude. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So then we go to Mariah and Jasmine. So Mariah, basically, it's like this little small talk thing, right? Mariah is not telling her, fuck you. She's just like, I'm just sorting things out. And I guess this helps me do that. And Jasmine's like, I'm going to give you your space, girl.

She's like, fine. But today, she tells us, I'm mourning my friendships. Not only did they not talk to me first before siding with Bria, but they forgot who I am. And she gets her own song and she leaves. And I could not believe they let her go. I thought it would be like a resolution, everything, but no, Jasmine's like, yeah, I just want, I want to give you some,

it's not that I want to give you space because I know you already have space because there's not like a guy next to you or even a girl, you're just single. So there's like inherently space next to you. I'm just gonna give you more space on top of the potential relationship space you have. Yeah.

I wanna give you at least as much space as you have in your twin bed at home. Yes. Okay, have a good drive back. Just as much space as that empty seat on your tandem bicycle, okay. Yeah. So Jasmine and the kitchen, okay, basically she leaves. Okay, so now we're gonna have Field Day.

And then we see Amir, we see the anal side of Amir. Amir is in his room on a little ladder and he's, well, I'm assuming a big ladder because he's reaching the curtains. It's a tall ladder. A huge A frame. And he's adjusting the double layers of curtains. And Jasmine's like, oh my God, guys, isn't it crazy the things we see a mirror doing?

I mean, sauteing something, bringing a ladder, folding clothes. I mean, that is crazy. He's a man. You can tell he's single because surely you'd have a wife doing that other way. That's very drop after all. So then a mirror's coming around.

And he basically drops, casually drops that, oh, by the way, it was his fault. He was the one who threw Bria's dog stuff into the laundry. And he goes, yeah, that was my fault. And then he was like, but why? And he's like, well, I was just doing laundry. I didn't realize, but why didn't you say anything? He's like, oh, it's just doing laundry. I didn't realize, but what she's like, but why didn't you say anything?

He's like, oh, it's too far gone. It was too far gone. And we see the argument and flash back to the argument and the mirror sticks his hand out to be like, actually, and then he just puts it right on. Which was like funny as a viewer, but I actually think that's so fucked up. Like, how is it that you can like scream at Phil

and be like, you want to see what they shorten the last steps to you? But you can't be like, guys, stop yelling, I did this. This was my fault. He was just happy to watch these two go at it. I'm mad at a mirror again. This totally takes away all the latter credit he had. Yeah, that's incredibly uncool. I can't believe he did that. Yeah, so let's see here. Now, Alex is gonna go journal and meditate. Give me a fucking break, okay? And I say to you the same thing I said to Mariah,

people who are like you are a damn mess. And I cannot wait to see what kind of a mess you are. Yeah. I'm gonna meditate. Really, you're a terrible person. I'm gonna tell you that. Because I'm not saying good people don't meditate, good people don't constantly talk

about meditating internally. Right, they just do it. Okay. And Alex is like, so he's doing affirmations. He's like, I'm a visionary, I'm a leader. I have free access to creative genius. I'm like, so are you doing thirst trap photos that day before? I'm sorry, I mean you doing thirst trap photos that you have before?

I'm sorry, I mean, you can do thirst traps and you can have affirmations. But like again, stop trying to act like you're about something deeper and something more holistic and more genuine than that. You're post-immediating. Right, and then you're post, you know, you're talking about like what your soul is about

and then you're posting thirst trap videos, okay? Exactly. And then, oh God, he goes, there was a period of my life where I was just a fuckboy and I wanted to be a player. And my approach to women was to be dishonest and get what I want out of the situation. It was meditation that made me realize

that I wasn't being graceful to myself and if you don't take care of yourself, you're gonna hurt somebody else. I'm like, oh, so this is all past tense that you were a fuckboy? Like we literally saw you were a fuck boy. As soon as you walked in, we were like, this guy's a fuck boy who's using meditation and affirmations

and phrases about intentionality and like group therapy talk to try to mask his fuck boyery, but that is actually so classically fuck boy ye. It really is. It's like I'm so sick of people calling me a fuckboy, so now I'm going to pretend I'm a really deep spiritual person, so I can fuck you. It's like that, but that is think a fuckboy dude. It is.

He's like the hot guy who shows up with the guitar. Like, basically his affirmations are a guitar that he straps and I'm like, hey, I'm just a wounded soul. I just like to write music. You're a fuck boy. Yeah, well, he's got to have something because his cousin is John Legend, you know, which of course we find out about an episode one, you know, shocker. So he's got to have something. So he's just like a soup. He's somebody he's acting like he's already, he is John Legend and he's walking around and going like, blessed, blessed. You know, I just journaled for this guys.

I journaled for this career. It's like you're not famous, dude. And then the way, even the way he says it, he goes, I've been observing the practice of meditation for three years. Oh, you've been observing the practice of meditation. Fuck off. Well, so as someone who meditates and has affirmations, then he then goes downstairs.

He says, last night personal space, I'm watching you. You don't know personal space. So you're just gonna be like a dick. A dick out of nowhere, not gonna explain anything. You're just gonna be condescending in a dick.

Is that with that part for affirmation? Yeah, just being a complete asshole to somebody who's also new, by the way, she's like new fairly to the group. It's not fair. But also I was going to say after going off about Alex and what a piece of shit he is because of his fake meditation personality, I have to say that is some of the most beautiful skin I've seen in my life and whatever he's doing. I'll do it. Like I'm litter, his meditations while I'm complaining about them, I was like, those are good meditations.

He said, I have free access to creative genius. I was like, I'm writing, I wrote that in my phone too. I was like, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna shine like he does. Your skin is far better than, he has beautiful skin and yours is far better. You have the radiant skin of a chemical fuel like Botox, shining compliments. Darling. But yeah, he's good looking gone.

Okay, so then everyone's getting ready to go. And like you said, he comes downstairs and Shanese tells him, oh, it's Alex, hey Alex, I want to see you get mad because we're always so chill. It would be like hilarious if you got mad right guys and he goes personal space shanies That's I'm watching you personal space and she goes me and she's like, yeah, like you were describing me She as I was and then we see a clip at the restaurant

I guess I don't like yeah, he she invaded his personal space. There's a lot about touching in this episode. A lot about trying to make average touching, abnormal touching, and I don't like it. Yeah, so then we see a flashback, and Alex is like talking at the bar about something, and he's like using his hands, and then she's like, no, and she grabs his hand, like pulls it down, which is middle-e,

I can't say I don't know, people do that. But I would not be like, hey, by the way, personal space. Okay, in front of everybody. I'd be like, hey, by the way, when you grab my hand, that's kind of like, I just don't really like that, because you're like, I feel like you would have been like, don't grab my hand, what the hell? You wouldn't have waited until the day of when it had passed,

and then you could make it into a, ooh, you invaded my personal space in front of the other roommates to make that person look like a fucking idiot. But then what we find out is what this is really about is not the personal space, because then he tells us, Shines is like technically my type, but I'm hesitant to get to know her

because of what I've read about her. I was like, oh wow, I'm glad. You're such a lovely, beautiful, soulful person that you rather than getting to know someone, you would just like to read some gossip about someone and judge them based on that. Now, was that part of your affirmations? I am someone who just judges a book by their cover. Is that what that is? Or are you just jealous that you were about to get involved with someone else more famous than you in your life? Sure. Or that. So then the producer asks, so how did you find out, what did you find out about Shanese?

And he's like, well, I've heard things and I've seen things about Shanese, but I don't feel like that's my business, which is why I just brought it up on national television. Your whole need to get started. After like completely being negative to your in front of other people. And so Shaniece is like, I mean, scared of me.

I'm like, what? I'm like 5'7", I weigh like 127 pounds. I'm not like going to hurt you, Alex. I promise. And Alex is like, we're going to have a good time today. So they all get in their cars and Bri is taking her fucking dog Milo because God forbid, Priya goes to a, a, a field day without emotional support. Right. Also, I would bring Buehler too if I had him.

I just wouldn't. Yeah, but guess what? That dog's gonna shoot on that beach and she's not gonna pick it up. You know, that's why I'm gonna pick it up. That's why Priya drives me nuts because like she just sort of had, she's so into it. Wait, we saw her pick it up though, last week. Remember when they said, your dog's shitting everywhere,

the Alex is trying to do yoga or two weeks ago. And then they showed a clip of her picking up her dog poop. So you never said that. Oh, I was thinking about it. She does pick it up. You know, Brea, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. You know what?

You defied our expectations. Thank you for picking up. It's still too much, you know? It's still too new to know who we hate. Isn't that frustrating? It's like we'd love everybody, but also we could hate everybody. We just don't know if it's a game or something.

We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something.

We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. We just don't know if it's a game or something. new day to be judged. So, yeah, so they're going to this beach. And Shinese is telling the girls and the girls band.

She's like, this is so weird. Alex came up to me. I was like, personal space Shinese. And I was like, okay, but like, no, I'm still thinking about it. And Jordan's like, well, you know what, you gotta say it in the moment, otherwise you don't have an opportunity to rectify the situation, Shinese.

So Shinese is like, well, I'm just not gonna talk to him. I'm just not gonna talk to him at all. So they, they, me and the other van, they're just talking about boobs. I mean, I was like, hey guys, I saw Shanice's boobs. I was carrying a ladder to the, to take a shower. And she sort of like poked in from, and I saw, I was like looking between the rungs and there were two nips right there. Well, yeah, he's, she's like, she just came out. Like, I needed to take a shower and she was taking forever so she just came out in the thong and stood in front of me trying to have a conversation. And Silas is like, with no top.

And they're like, no shit Silas. She was just in the thong. What did you just hear? And in weird like, I mean, worst things have happened to me. And then it cuts to Alex looking all mad. Like, you see, this is exactly what I heard about her. Boom, show up. Boom, show up. Boom, show up.

Just what I read. I read in time magazine that she shows her. She was walking around shirtless this whole fucking time. All you need to get the fuck over yourself. So now it's a problem that a girl is shirtless. Give me a break. So you can be a thirst trap, but she can't be a thirst trap?

Yes. So then Alex, yeah, Alex looks mad. So Silas, it's like, well, was there a specific reason? Is there a why? Was she holding the show my boob football? Because you can only really show your boob if you're holding the show my boob football. Yeah, I'm married.

Yeah. So then Amir is saying that he's still interested in Jordan, like that's his number one priority. And Silas is like, okay, I just want to ask, is anyone else in the car attracted to Jordan? Because you guys have all kind of came to me and said he liked Jordan. So Alex.

But I like all of us stupid. She's a pot. Yeah. But like she's gorgeous. So then, and then the guys are talking about, I was like, oh, well, you know Alex, you probably want to have like an intellectual conversation with her and like all that stuff.

And Nick is like, yeah, Alex, you definitely need an error you die. That's for sure, which doesn't make an error you die. Well, he means that like error die, you know? Well, I already know. I'm done. But it's like, he's basically saying you need someone who's like an intellectual.

But Alex, that's all confused. How do I spell it? I'm gonna look it up. He's an R U D I T E. If you're angry. Oh yeah, that's all confused. How do I spell it? I'm gonna look it up. We are UDITE. If you're actually. Oh yeah, I've heard that word. What's that mean? That means having or showing great knowledge

or learning. It's an adjective, but it was used as a noun and it was also mispronounced. So Alex is very confused by the entire idea. Okay, so he's saying you need like an area-diet old person. How would you say it? He basically is saying you need someone to saydiet old person, how would you say it? He basically says you need someone to say area-diet person.

Yeah. You would need an area-diet person. Oh, okay. Well, thanks. I've just learned something. So then Silas is like, I'm sorry, but isn't that called a SAPO sexual? Okay, now let me look that up.

SAPO. SAPO sexual is something I've definitely heard of, but I actually don't know what it means. Finding intelligence, sexually attractive, or a rousing. Oh yeah, that's Alex T.O.T. That's Alex for T.O.T. He doesn't care about physical features. He just happens to be attracted

to the most beautiful person in the house. He just really likes it. I'm C.P.S. sexual. I only attracted to people when they're photographed in C.P.A. tones. You're like, basically like Abraham Lincoln really does it for you. I love a goddamn copper painting. I love it's tin type.

Yeah, I get boners when I watch like old westerns on TV. I'm like, yeah, oh But I think that you are right about what you said that he's like, oh, yeah I'm only attracted to intellectuals, but once the playboy bunny like Like the hottest playboy bunny whose entire Instagram is about how hot she is Amaz Not saying that playboy bunny's can't be smart. I'm just saying, come on now. Did he even like talk to Mariah? Mariah who's interesting the most aligned with him, see who the two of them would like talk about, you would think the two of them would connect

about affirmations of meditation and moon ceremonies and candles and crystals and, and like special rituals and honoring things. But no, he's like, no, I'm gonna go for the hot girl, but you know, but I'm interested. I'm like turned on by intelligence. Which by but no, he's like, no, I'm gonna go for the Hock girl, but you know, but I'm interested. I'm like turned on by intelligence, which by the way, it's not to say that Jordan is not intelligent.

She actually strikes me as very intelligent, but like I- But come on. But he's like, he's full of it, right? Like what intellectual conversations has he- I would- I have not seen him strike up any intellectual conversations with the Jordan, it's more like that.

Um, but then, uh, Silas, so then Nick though, the Nick is driving me nuts because Nick is this person. We all know this person. Nick is like, yeah, I think that we have a brother sister vibe. Yeah. Yeah. We do have one. And they're like, what?

You're obsessed with her for crying out loud. For crying out loud. I mean, Silas is like, you know, I've never seen a Nick shoot his shot in person. He can say what he wants in DMs, but then when the woman's actually there in the room, nothing. And Alex is like, yeah, Nick is my brother, but he's not answering that fully honestly, because he's Ruminating on something. He's Ruminating guys. He's Ruminating on something.

Yeah, and it producer was like, so Alex is there something that you're not telling people? And he's like, or maybe Nick has said, they said that to Nick, I think, actually Nick's size. And then the producer says to Alex, like, you know what the secret is, but you're not gonna, but you're gonna keep it to yourself.

And Alex is like, I'm not, he's like, I'm not fully clear on what Nick wants, but I think he's being intellectually dishonest, which is a total turnoff for me because I'm a sapia sexual and I'm really triumphant by intellectual honesty. I'm a sapia, a sapia sexual. He's being dishonest and he's doing it without a filter. So that's that's a problem. Alex is also the person who loves saying that he knows something, but he's not going to talk about it. So we get to on Facebook. Let's be honest. Can't believe what happened to me last night. Duh, duh, duh. I never thought it would come to this. Wow. Just wow.

Yeah. Like the last parking spot. What? Wow. Yeah. Like the last parking spot. Dot, dot, dot, what? Uh, is this a good, are you lucky? Or did someone steal it from you? What's happening? It's not there at the beach. And, um, they're setting up at the beach. And Silas is planting umbrellas in the beach.

So crazy. He is jamming them in there. Like he's trying to murder some animal that's going under there. Yeah, like Why are you hurting? What did the beach duty? He's like mad at the beach and then The beach beach. Oh, so then Jasmine reminds us who's in charge and who show this is She's very Kyle and Amanda from Summer House You know how Kyle and Amanda are constantly reminding everybody this is their house They started this house. They're the couple at this house.

That's Jasmine and Silas on the show and Jasmine's like, well when Silas and I put together the itinerary for this trip Oh God really Every fucking second of the day you is all because of you to thank the Lord for putting you two together on this earth. So the rest of us could think of going to the beach and playing games together in a beach town. On a fucking beach. I know. So then Nick and Alex are walking and Nick is like people need to stop asking me if I'm feeling Jordan. Like we're feeling Shanese, you know, and Alex is like no one's asking you. It's just Silas. And he's like, I think he wants another couple

that he and Jasmine can hang out with, but like, I'm gonna drop a bomb. I'm gonna drop a big bomb. So now, like, do you think gay? Of course, right? Of course, if he's like, not shooting, if he's like, always like, talking big talk, but when he comes down to it,

he's like, sort of shining away from girls and I was got to say something is also well dressed which doesn't make you gay but also like you know sort of it's sort of a supporting a case here so we're like I don't necessarily get gay vibes from him but I do get um 30 pairs of pants vibes from him yeah I did not get kind of vibes I did not get gay vibes from him but then when they started hinting at this stuff and then he says, I've got me going to drop a bomb. I'm like, Oh, okay, this is probably what it is. And also because he's been DMing the girls, like, so that's a very closeted thing to do, right? If you're DMing all the girls that you know you're about to be on a TV show

with being like, fire, fire, it's so that they'll say, oh, he's been DMing me fire symbols. Um, but then he's not making any moves in public on me. So it's a way that like seems like a typical closeted move. Right. So what people say, and I know it's close to like talk about people, whatever. And that's about to speculate, but I literally think the show is trying to make a speculate. So that's what we're doing. I get my ass. Yeah. we're not saying that he's gay or a closet. We're saying that the show is giving us bread crumbs that was going to lead us to that. I thought they were leading us down to a gay seller. I was like, I can't wait.

I love it. I'm excited. Like I feel like it's so exciting. I feel like it's so rare that we get to see people come out on reality TV because it's like, you have to really catch that moment, you know? It's always as bisexual. It's always like, oh my God, I'm a hot girl and I'm coming out. It's by and so it's like, you have to really catch that moment, you know? And I was like, it's always as bisexual. It's always like, oh my God, I'm a hot girl and I'm coming out as bi and so.

It's like, oh, okay, let's bring the parade around. But this one, they really led me to believe it. And also, even though I thought for sure that was it, I was like, no way, are they putting two gay guys on somewhere else? If they do that, I will fall over dead from excitement. Yeah, Bravo, Bravo, which has so much credibility guys on summer out. If they do that, I will fall over dead from excitement. Yeah. Bravo, Bravo, which has so much credibility with the Gaze and has such a big gay following

and is sort of known as like a gay network is very reluctant to ever even have gay cast members on their shows, let alone more than one. So I was like, this can't be. This is crazy. Yeah, it's probably a good way, I was like, this can't be, this is crazy. Oh, that's probably the right way I should say or top chef. Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season two, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us.

Stream and just like that season two, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So now we go to, uh, now it's time for a field day. And it's, uh, the captains are Jordan and Nick. I was like, oh, good. This is good because I don't really have to take notes here. So they picked teams and Milo the Dog as the coach. And now it's like tug of war.

And I'm expecting that's my note. I'm the right. Currently I'm petting my dog beeler while you talk about this. The best part, the best part about this field day was how the producers kept on highlighting the personal space between Alex and Shanese.

Like, personal space, personal space, and then Shanese was like taunting Alex. And yeah, then they just, yeah, field day continues on in a typically uninteresting way. So then, um, Amir has Alex film him jogging shirtless. No, like is he taking the first try videos? How many of you guys? And then, uh, Amir is- Who steps up on your shell? Amir invites Jordan for a walk on the water.

And he's like, hey, I have to find a way to win her over, because Amir's playbook to win a girl is a playbook. So step one, keep flirting. And so we see the example is like, you did good. You always impress me. Ding! Yeah, and he's like, make it discreet. You say, make it discreet because if there isn't that vibe,

you've got to pull back. You see him like unfolding a ladder and he's like, no one to fold that ladder up and put it to the side. So, no one you can read to Curtin and when you need a letter to get that curtain. So, Briya, then, thanks. So, Briya's like, Shanice, you should talk to Alex, okay,

because you're on a TV show, okay? So, this non-confrontational thing may be fine when you're like, with your friends at like, a restaurant or at a bank or something like that, but like, you're on TV show, so you have to talk to Alex. So she needs to say, okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this,

so she goes, hey Alex, I do have to talk to you. What's up with that personal space thing? And he's just like staring at her like, fuck you, basically, like just so cold. And I'm like, you are such a a dick you make all these affirmations and She's trying to like actually have a conversation Total asshole and you're not gonna like you're just gonna be like a dick about it. Mm-hmm Yeah, he's been really mean and so then we go back to a mirror in Jordan and he's like just walk with me

Walk with me on the water. She's absolutely not my feet are cold and that how you get sick. My grandma told me and that's why I keep my socks on at night when I sleep. And he's like, what? You keep your socks on while you sleep? I'm like, you're trying to flirt with someone by forcing them to do something they don't want constantly. She doesn't like the water. You're turquoise-acking.

She didn't want to go in the water. She didn't like it. Now you're trying to make her go in the water again. How is this flirting? This is control. This is control shit. I don't like it. And a mirror's also, like you can see a mirror's trying to make her go on the water again. House is flirting. This is control. This is control shit. I don't like it. And a mere's also like, you can see a mere is trying to process the idea that Jordan wears socks to bed.

He's like, the bedtime is no sock time. Those are the rules. You take off your socks before you get into bed. How do you wear your socks into bed? You can't do that. Who does that? Um, notice he had the cedar tree on his back. That's Lebanese tattoo.

It's the tree of Lebanon. Oh, I thought that was a reference to Charbell's dish. He made on top chef He's just really quick with his proper knowledge Yeah, that was cute. That was so cool. We had a little Cedar tree so Alicin is oh so back to shanis and Alex. Okay, so shanis is like mean, that was awful when you said that this morning when you were like personal space I was like, okay, I don't want to talk to him anymore Personal space what I'm literally not gonna talk to you and I'm gonna back off Right and he's just like

It's been so mean and she's okay Well, bye cuz like I'm trying to respect you, right? No, am I right? And she's got this big goofy smile, like obviously trying so hard. And he's just being quiet and being an asshole. And he goes, got it. He's like, I can tell that Shanice is a sweet person,

but last night an article was about her was sent to me, and I thought it was an affirmation, and I was like, I am a stalker I am obsessed with the former celebrity. I oh wait a second. This is not an affirmation. This is gossip so apparently Shadnees was dating an actor and This actor was basically put it all out there and I haven't did you actually do did you actually find out who this actor is should we look? Oh, that's like he's from insecure, I know that.

Really is it J. What's his face? Actor, insecure. Oh, no, I thought it was that he was an insecure actor, not an actor from insecure, but maybe it's an actor. No way. Or did he just make a joke and I'm getting it? Could you imagine insecure actor? No, it's from the TV show in Secure.

Why would they call an actor insecure? Because he was an insecure actor. No, I thought he was an insecure actor. No, it's from the TV show Insecure. Why would they call an actor insecure? Because he was an insecure actor. No, I thought he was an insecure actor. I thought an oxymoron. I thought that is, what, a redundancy. I thought it was that I was an insecure actor who was bullying, lashing out of her. Okay, Shanice, Martha, Summer House.

No, he is Norman Towns, who stars in the comedy drama Insecure. Okay, let's look. Norman Towns. who stars in the comedy drama insecure. Okay, let's look. Norman Towns. Well, hot. He is hot. Oh my God. I understand why he's making me fucking outside this guy's house too.

My goodness. Yeah, sir, don't be super hot and then be upset that you're super hot ex wants to camp out and just got a few more looks at your hotness. But I understand why he's insecure because I would be if I were named Norman Towns and not Norman cities. Oh God. It's like, God, just be a more important town, maybe a city of some kind. Norman states after you finally wins his Oscar, he's going to be like, am a norm and nations Norman metropolis Yeah, so this guy's ha good good good good

Just no man. It's me. I'm in your bushes come outside Norman I Wonder if he's the sapiosexual Well, he wouldn't be in the me then so this guy Well, it wouldn't be an even. So this guy puts out on his Instagram this whole post written in caps, which, you know, stop yelling at me. Okay, I'm not stalking you yet.

I will be now. But why are you yelling at me on Instagram? Was my question. But they highlighting it says, insecure actor shares this crazy breakup experience with his ex, Shanice Jordan, who is stalking him? And they highlight stalking. And the producers like, so what's the situation with your ex? And Shanice is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

Sabrina's like, okay, Shanice was in a toxic relationship. And Shanice goes, yeah, well, I dated my ex for a year, by the way, it's like different talking heads all at once. And she, well, I dated my ex for a year, by the way, it's like different talking heads all at once. And she's like, I dated my ex for a year, and he's an up and coming actor slash population center. And he's coming up with these lies, and he put them on population thing, like down.

Down. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. She's a, he's a zone region. He's an up and coming zone region. Have you ever seen Sin City? It was based on him. The tiny part of a city. And he's coming up with these lies and he's putting them on his

Instagram stories and it went from it went out and then it got on blogs them before you know what there it is. So Jasmine's like yeah when Shini's broke up with him, I think she just wanted revenge, you know, single people. When close, boy, bunny, bunny boiling, you know what, Gus. And so Alex is like, I mean, it was on the breakfast club and all this other stuff. So, and Bree is like, yeah, the rumors of her being a stalker and harassing him and all these negative things are not true. Okay, I'm like, well, Bree's credibility is a little shot after that whole fill thing,

but I actually do believe her on this. And she needs to go, well, I'm not gonna lie, I did do some of it, you know, I did, but I didn't call him a bunch of times. I wrote several letters with my blood, which I believe is actually really considerate. I didn't boil his bunny, I baked it. It was for dinner. Almost trying to be nice.

So we see in his bushes, I slept in his bed after I broke into the house when he was gone on vacation. So we see more of this clip of his Instagram post and it says, harassing me, sleeping outside my house, making fake accounts in my name, applying for random jobs as me, sending someone to my door, sending OOD. I don't know what that means. We apply as random jobs as him is actually hilarious. That's a very funny version of being,

if you're broken up with someone, like having, like applying to the movie theater is like, hi, I'm, I'm, what's the name? Norman Towns, Norman Towns, I am applying to be working your movie theater. That's kind of funny. So weird and sending, oh, sending food to his door. I guess like calling door-dash on him or something,

sending explicit pictures of us to people and companies. And this is all in caps. But like Applebee's, like, see your comms director at Applebee's. He's like, well, we got another picture of Norman and Shanese doing it. Say one musk is like, all right guys, new rules on Twitter.

Oh, wait, hold on a second. Whoa, I just got some boobies in the thong here. This is pretty great. Wow, that guy from insecure. God, I love that show. Wow, he has really hot. I have to say, I am straight, but I am turning right now.

I am turning by this Norman Towns. He's unbelievably hot. So, but then Jasmine has this weird thing where she goes, um, listen, like, uh, all these like, like, talk about the phone calls. You know, if he doesn't answer the phone, of course, it's going to say 18 missed calls. That means there's nothing to break them up.

If there's two missed calls and then he answers, it wouldn't say 18 missed calls. I wouldn't say two missed calls, right? So funny. So Alex is like, well, I don't think that's the type of vibe I'm trying to be around. Um, you're not famous because, I mean, look, babe, you're famous because your cousins were John Legend and you're choosing the side of the actor over the girl so you can have famous people cred. Like, oh, I side with the actor. He's famous. I don't side with the crazy stalker because I'm related to a famous actor, so I'm anti-stock.

Get over yourself, Alex, okay? Also, I'm going to say I think that Alex is wants to go for Jordan, and I think he's like a Freige and he's just going to somehow ruin it, like if Shanese is into him or something like that, or if he's, I think he's like actively trying to push Ways Shanese because he's like, ew, I like Jordan, you know, it's just like, he's kind of instrumental, a whole, but I think you're right. And I would just like to, if anybody knows Alex,

could you please have him type this into his phone for next time he meditates? I'm not famous enough for this. I'm not famous enough for this. I'm not famous enough for this. Thanks. Yeah. So, so anyway, she's like, well, I just feel awkward sitting by you not famous enough for this. I'm not famous enough for this. Thanks. Yeah.

So anyway, she's like, well, I just feel awkward sitting by you because you said personal space. And I'm like, I'm sorry, I won't say a word to you, because sorry. Sometimes I've got to just like find my space, you know? She goes, yeah. My car finally, we're going, yeah, finally. Okay, I love you.

I love you back. Okay, call me back. Do not forget to call me. I haven't called you yet, but you better call me back. I can see you. Okay, I'm just going you back, okay, call me back. Do you not forget to call me, I haven't called you yet, but you better call me back. I can see you, okay, I'm just gonna be right over here. I see you still, peek a boo. And then a bunch of geese are like,

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And then everyone's like, gotta go, the geese are here, gotta go. I mean, there's like, the geese are terrifying and I like that a market's, I mean, a mere, he goes, God, Geese are aggressive. It's my worst nightmare. Geese, I was bullied by Geese. Geese are like, Hey, can you fly? Hey, can you fly? How, how, how talking to your latter get? Not as high as I can fly. Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.

Osilus is like talking football, the Geese are out of the house, the Geese are out of the house. I'm sorry, we have to send these geese back to New York So they go back to the house to have a steak dinner and Preston is there's like there's a conversation about making mac and cheese and in Preston's gonna like make He's like, I'm lazy. I'm just not gonna make a Bashamel tonight from a Mac and Cheese. By the way, I believe Presson probably makes an amazing Mac and Cheese. You know, you can just tell he can throw down

when it comes to Mac and Cheese. Well, Bashamel, can I just say just for the record? Bashamel's so easy. Bashamel's literally the easiest thing to me. What do you mean you're too tired to do a Bashamel? You are not a true Mac and cheese. I can't believe somebody actually had the nerve on television to say I'm too lazy to do a best shamel.

It's milk. It's... Milk and flour and butter. It's easy, it's like easy. But I will say, after my anger passed, it's Mac and cheese looked very good. It was very creamy. How was it so creamy? but I will say after my anger passed. His mac and cheese looked very good. And it was very creamy. How was it so creamy?

It also was like so deep. Did you notice it was like, it was like insanely good looking. It was so good looking. How did he do that without a marshmallow? Because I know he didn't whip out Velvita. Because then anybody, I will whip out Velvita. You know, I love a Velvita with all the other cheese mixed in.

The Velvita is my mom's trick for a very sm- It's not really a trick is it. It's just chemicals, it's chemical. But that's her trick for it and it works. You know, if you, if you mix Velvita as your multi base and then you put all the other fancy cheeses in with it, that's great. Is that what he did? I need to know. Or he maybe put like some cream and you just like, I don't know.

But it was, it was gorgeous. It was the Norman Towns of Mac and Cheese, you know. So, and Amir is talking to him about Mac and Cheese because so do you put bread crumbs on yours or anything and press it goes, no I'm black. And then it goes, that's Amir is what about crackers? Because are you trying to make even more of a pun here? Like, what are you doing? And press and it's like, let's be clear. Bread crumbs on mac and cheese is a sure far way

to never be invited to a black ass home ever again. And he starts laughing. He's like, I can't. I can't get over it. I can't get over it. Oh, actually, yeah. Amir says, my mom's mac and cheese is velvita shell. And press and it's like, I can't. I can't. So maybe he I can't get over it. Oh, actually, yeah. Amir says, my mom's mac and Jesus's velvita shell. And Preston's like, I can't, I can't.

So maybe he does not use velvita. So, see, there you go. Yep, and then Amir tells us. By the way, before people come after me for velvita, go after my mother, okay? Oh, I'll give you her email. You guys can curse out my mother. I didn't say I do it.

I said, I've done it. But in general, I'm a dachamel person, because it's super simple. Oh, I do Velvita. In fact, Kenji Lope has, you told me about it, you did.

And then on top of that, Kenji Lope has all has a recipe for stove top mac and cheese as well. And that uses Velvita. And he, Also, right. I can't just commit to it. I'm like, I don't use,

I hate Velvita. That's just got my mom does it. I do it. Who taught you how to do it? That's crazy. I love that this is where you had your flinch about velvita. It's like, wait. I am because it's so wrong, but it's also so right. Have no shame in it.

Okay, velvita serves a purpose. There's a place for velvita, and it's in melty, mac, and cheese. I feel like half of my body is made out of velvita. I feel like it's in my DNA. I've eaten so much of it. It's great. It's called, I mean, it has the word velvet in it for a reason. So, an Ida. An Ida, because Chita Rivera invented it.

So, velvita Rivera. So, The Mac and Cheese woman in her velvet cape. So Mier tells us growing up, my mom hated how much of a picky eater I was. So she would enroll me in culinary cooking camps. So she was like, look motherfucker, I need to learn how to cook for you.

I love that. I love that. If you don't want to eat the fish sticks, fine, you're going to fish the school. Yeah, I love that too. So he't want to eat the fish sticks, fine. We're going to fish the school. Yeah. I love that too. So he's getting really fancy with the broccoli. He's like, I'm going to use some rosemary and I'm going to grill the broccoli with the rosemary. And then I'm going to take it off.

And it's going to slow cook. And then those juices are going to come back with rosemary. I was like, okay. So then, um, so broccoli, you know what I mean? Don't try to romance the broccoli. And then it cuts to Alex and the Jim, they have like one of those, those like workout things where it's like a screen, I forgot what it's called. It's called like the mirror or something.

And he was like trying to figure out, I just stare at it, he's like, do I look at myself or do I look at the instructions? Which one's more compelling? Is he dancing in it? I couldn't tell what he was doing. He was confused. There were no affirmations nearby.

Okay, so then it is time to have some dinner, right? And so they're joking, I'm like, oh my God, we should have a girl's night and a boy's night. That's what we should do. And Amir is like a stylist, somebody asked where the forks are. Oh, cause they're making fun of him for going, baby, baby.

All the time. Like a stylist is constantly going, baby. Right, cause that was last episode also, like he's like, where's my wife? Where's my wife? And they're like, been apart for five minutes. BABY. And on summer house we've got babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe.

So they're talking about doing a girl's night and a boy's night at some point, and it's not gonna be tonight, but they're just talking about it. And Jasmine's like, I wanna know what guys that entails. And I'm here's like, no, I wanna know what girls that entails. So Jordan's like, well, I can tell you what we're not doing.

We're not staying out till three or four in the morning, right, Silas? Come on, I'm not to blame this time. I'm not to blame. Come on, it's funny. We're in a good place. And he's it's funny. We're in a good place. And he's like, I thought we were in a good place. And she's like, I'm just joking with you. And he's like, okay, well, just bring her home before three. That's it. And so they're

like, yeah, you're still uncomfortably misogynistic. Yeah. Okay, so curfew for your wife. So Jordan's like, um, where we're going to go to the club. And we're going to have a good time on Girls Night. And Jordan's like, um, or we're going to go to the club and we're going to have a good time on girls night And Jasmine's like, yeah, we worked on it. We worked in a club. That's how we met, you know, we were going We were going to strip club and the free drinks were great Which I think this is Jasmine's way of needling Silas, right? Yes, because that was like Silas. I guess he's embarrassing at this point like Enough like we get it Silas, but I'm sure she's had a talk with him,

like don't look like a fucking controlling asshole. That would be great on TV, okay? You look crazy and it's not making me look like this. And so he's like, well, she's got to pay for own drinks, that's it. No free drinks from guys. No, oh. And Jasmine's like, what's the problem with that?

And then Briah just gets up and leaves. She's like, I'm gonna go clutch my emotional support animal right now. This is a lot. It's a lot for me. So I was like, if you accept a free drink, the wrong guys take that as an invitation. Well, yell at the wrong guys and not the girls.

How about that? So Jasmine's like, well, I thought you guys are just like intimidated and it's like, fine, like we're gonna have a great time and like, we want you guys to have a great time on guys night, you know, so you just want us to have a good time. He's like, pay for your own drinks. Jasmine's like, okay, well, I meant that from the bottom of my heart that I want you guys

to have a good time, okay? And I'm saying that as one married person, to another married person, who the first married person is married to. To the only person I can trust, not because you're my husband, but because we're both married. Yeah, trust me. So he's like, well, when Jasmine's around her friends,

how she acts is very new to me, because we met during the pandemic. So we would spend a lot of time together, and I never saw the chance to see her with her girls. I'm not naive. I know they worked at Playboy, and they had a good time, but this is my wife now. No.

This is a... No, this is your wife, but this is my wife now. No. This is a, no. This is your wife, but this is a woman that is currently married to you while you're not being a complete fuck-wit. And she's not gonna be your wife if you keep fucking acting like this. Okay.

You're gonna get to remember what it's like to be back at the pandemic alone at home with no one go out with. You met in the pandemic who you clearly loved bombed and she was lonely and into it, you guys jumped into this. And now you're actually seeing her in her real world and like not on Zoom and you don't like it,

but guess what, that's who she is, that's her life, that's her friends and that's how she likes the party. And you gotta get used to it. Yes, so you know, I'm sorry, I was about to read my same notes. Okay, so then we get into drama music, don't, don't, don't, because someone's like, oh, Sineet's is like, I mean, this one gets really drunk when we go, I mean, Jasmine or my

writer, but it was too soft about that time. The job's been got so drunk that she fell asleep at work. Okay, let me tell you what happened. So we were going to a party and then we were like getting wasted and then we would like went to another party and then we got wasted and then we had to go to work And then she fell asleep on my shoulder at work and then I got sent home because like I was really drunk But then she could like snap to it because she's like Jasmine like she even before she was married She was like guys unmarried and it just like made her immediately smarter than everybody else. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la So everyone's kind of like, is Silas being serious right now? Is he really being this possessive or whatever? Like what was, like, they're like,

Preston, what was Silas like? What was Silas like when you knew him in college? Was he like this much of a, like a jerk? And he's like, oh no, yeah, he was pretty much always like this, yeah. And they're like, well, Jasmine's totally different. And Jordan's like, yeah, I don't think Silas realizes the pre-pandemic Jasmine part. Like, she's definitely struggling. And I see it because I'm struggling too.

I mean, what are we supposed to only go to Tea Party's now? Thank you, next. That's it for me. That's a no for me. Thanks, no. Yeah, so Jasmine is like saying that, like, Silas needs some chillax.

And so she goes into the truth booth. And she's like, yeah, marriage is bittersweet. Like, honestly, the idea, like everyone can do this for like decade after decade, it does scare me. I'm like, well, there it is. Here, the truth all comes out. She, of course, I mean, we knew this was the case, right? Like, no one talks so much about being married unless you are trying to convince yourself

that you made the right decision. Well, yeah, especially when this guy is like suddenly starting to show all of his controlling tendencies because you're around people for the first time, you know. Yeah. It's crazy. But I have a feeling like people like that usually show those tendencies right at front. You know what I mean? But maybe they're hard to notice unless you see it through other people's reactions. We're like, oh, this isn't hot, this is actually horrifying. Okay. So then Preston's in the living room with Bri and Jordan and he's like, you know, I get it. But listen guys, I mean, I've never had to deal with someone trying to protect me, but I've

heard from many women that they want their men to protect them. Like, I can't. Well, I don't think he was advocating for it, but I think he was just saying like, yeah, like it's me, it's farm, but like I've heard that woman actually like this. And I'm here. It's not just protecting them. It's saying you can do this, you can do that, you can't, it's been controlling it's been weird. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, he's standing up for his friend, you know. But yeah, but there is a difference between saying, you're gonna protect the person you love versus controlling them and saying,

you have to behave like this. Cause protecting would is not saying, you have to come back home and be safe with me. Protecting is like, cause that's not doing anything to the people out there in the world who are being terrible, right? Like, I don't know. I'm talking myself into a down-a-path. I'm not even interested in discussing what protecting even me and the guy. Well, it's just these guys. It's guys mansplaining to a couple of women what women are telling them that they want.

And then we're like, yeah, a lot of women in Texas, like if you don't do that for them, then it's not good. I mean, if you go out till two or three in the morning and your man doesn't say anything, that's not cool in Texas. I was like, what are you talking about? And then he goes, yeah, like, say, Preston was cat calling you, one of you. I'd be like, who the fuck are you to cat call her?

And Jordan's like, well, he has cat called me. So what are you gonna do about it? So they laugh. Yeah, meanwhile, Mariah, still on the drive home to New York after she put like, laundry and she, I'm real as just and they're like, I'm like, this is what I would do.

This is how I would beat up someone. So, um, so then they're like, oh, hey, Nick is here, because Nick is just like sitting at like a table far away with his hand and like his head in his hand quietly. And you sort of feel like, oh, he's gonna come out the closet. Like he's gonna come, again,

because the show has let us down this path. They're leading us down and even with Shini's, leading us even further, Shini's goes, so Nick, what's your dating life like? Do you like date a wide variety of women? How many calls do you leave? Do you make before it's too much for the other person? So let's say you're making a hamburger.

Would you be the slaughterer or the grinder? Yeah, you should be. Sonica's, well, my preference is black women, but you know, like, and I've seemed to remember that there was like a commercial break that they inserted right here. I could be wrong, but I think they probably wasn't, but I felt like they were teaching this ad into commercial. He goes, but, um, I am gated off emotionally and He's like I'm seeing someone in New York and Jordans like is it your girlfriend and he goes yeah, so they start wooing for him and

Mix like God finally I can say it out loud. I'm a head of a section with everybody a straight man I was like oh my god give him a parade Streamers are coming down glitter. Oh, I'm so glad he got the softest chest that he has a girlfriend. Oh, thank god. He doesn't have to disappoint him. That straight guys have a chance now on TV. You know, it's so fucking amazing.

It's so hard with straight guys have to go through having to cheer relationships under wraps for three days. So, Priya's like, but now they're all like, oh my god, that's so cool. We never thought anyone would want to date you. And Priya's like, are you kidding me? You've been seeing someone, but you slipped into Jordan's DMs, and Chinesis's DMs, and my DMs, what is going on right now?

Yeah, and then we see a clip. So it's like, we see something flash on the screen, and he's commenting. I don't know when this was taken, but he's commenting on something from May 7th 2018 and he's like, have you always been fine? And she's like, um, and in my DMs. And then Jordan tells us, oh my god, so the fire emojis going on in my DMs, I thought I just, I mean, okay. And Shanice is like, I mean, Nick has a girlfriend because before going into the house, Nick sent me a DM saying he wanted to marry me.

And like, I just laughed. And then he said, don't laugh. And I was like, sorry, but we haven't even met yet. And he said, but we'll meet soon. I was like, yeah, when you open your door because like I'm standing here with the pizza, you in order.

I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy holding a dead rabbit asking him to love me. That brings us to the end of summer house mothas vineyard. Man, I encourage you guys, if you are not watching this show, watch the show. You gotta watch it. It's really a good show. It's so good. And there's gonna be like even more people coming. Well, because I guess Phil didn't work out and they kicked out Mariah. here come the two replacements are coming up next so the door keeps but this was like the first season of summer house Remember there was like Jacqueline the fit model. There was like a revolving door of people so It's so good. So thank you everyone

Who is tuned in? And go to watch crappas.com get those get those tickets subscribe to our show, by the way, if you haven't, if you haven't, smash that subscribe button, go do it. And- Like and subscribe. Like and subscribe. No, like and subscribe. And we're gonna see you on the next episode.

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