Watch What Crappens - Summer House MV: Someone To Watch Over Me

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

On this week's Summer House Martha's Vineyard (S01E05), Bria's controversial boyfriend Simon finally arrives at the house, and he's very... European?  Watches for everyone!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today on this wonderful, day is the man, the myth, the legend. Mr. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, hello, man. How are you? I am doing wonderfully, thank you. Today we are recapping Superhouse Martha's Vineyard, a new favorite of movies. For me personally, I am assuming of you as well, Ronnie.

But you know, we're two different people. We are not monolith, so that it won't speak for you. But we both enjoy it. Anyway, speaking Martha's Vineyard, But you know, we're two different people. We are not monolith so that it won't speak for you But we both enjoy it. Anyway speaking Martha's Vineyard that is over Massachusetts and the funny thing is that we are gonna be over Sort of in the Martha's Vineyard area in Boston later this month But first we're going to San Diego later this week to recap the real Housewives of Orange County season premier should be a great one Tamras back The real housewives of Orange County season premiere should be a great one. Tamra's back, tailors back, well, tailors moved over and is now on there. It's going to be so fun. It'll be a great one to do in San Diego. We hope everyone can come and join us. Go to watchcraftpins.com, get your tickets and come join us there.

It's going to be sensational. And then after that, we're going to St. Paul, Minnesota, followed by Chicago, followed by Columbus. That's all next week, believe it or not. And then the week after that, that is when we go to Boston. And then the next day, we wrap up this entire Cheetah Brand tour at the Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. It's gonna be a wonderful time. Again, get your tickets at watchrecrapins.com.

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How are you doing? I'm good This is a fun episode of summer house really enjoying the show What what should we do? We just get into I don't really have anything to start I'm trying to think of like what did I even do today? You know what I did today? Laundry. And I just realized that I just keep buying the same thing over and over.

I'm becoming a cartoon character. I just have all the same clothes. Like I went to Old Navy this weekend. And so I was doing that post-Old Navy wash where you come home and you take off all the stickers and the tags and then you wash everything. Because I saved up a lot of old Navy cash guys. Old Navy cash rich.

So I did like a little shopping spree at the old Navy. And I washed the clothes and I was folding them and I was putting them back in my closet and I was like, I own literally almost 80% of these clothes already. What's wrong with me? Why would I go in and just buy the same things over and over and not really even realize it?

I've actually been doing that intentionally because I realize, for instance, whenever I get jeans, there's always like one pair of jeans that I love and I wear them over and over and over again. I'm like, why just have one of them, just get like three of them? So that way you can like rotate them and not like make one so dirty, you know? And I realized also I got some t-shirts from H&M that I really liked the way they fit on me. And I was like, why have just one? Why not just get multiples? And then you can, like, for me what happens is, I'll get a t-shirt, I was like,

this t-shirt fits so well. And then I wear it, and then I go in the laundry, and then I have to wait all the way until the laundry cycle's over before I can wear that t-shirt again. And I was like, why do that to myself? Allow yourself to wear the t-shirt multiple times in a laundry cycle by having multiple versions of it. So I think actually what you're doing is great.

Well, thank you. Okay, so where we ended off last week with Summer House Malthus Vignette is Bria and Silas fighting because her boyfriend Simon is coming to the house and she had asked already, well, she said at the bar, my boyfriend's coming to the house and he's coming from Germany,

so he needs more than three days. So I want to make sure it's cool that I let him come the week and Silas and Jasmine said, okay, but now they're acting like, no, that's too much. It can only be three days. So she's yelling at him and calling him controlling and racist because he just doesn't like her boyfriend because he's white. And he's like, how dare you call me racist?

How dare you call me racist? how dare you call me racist, mom. And so he's in a toga, which is so funny. It's like in calling a guy like old fashioned while he's like stopping around in a toga, you know, so he comes up to yell at her in her room and she's like, I hate these fucking people. And he's like, you're just trying to call me racist to manipulate me. And I will not be manipulated. And she's like, by the way you control Jasmine,

the way you control Jasmine, the way you control Jasmine, the way you control Jasmine, the way you control Jasmine. And she's gonna be great. This is a Bravo star in the making. You just pick one phrase and you repeat it over and over in your yelling voice.

And that's how you win. Yeah, this is a near, I would actually say this is a near perfect reality show cast. They really have, just the right type of people. You have, Bria is like kind of the princess brat and you wanna be mad at for being the princess brat, but actually she has, you find yourself on her side in ways

and you're like, ah, I hate that I'm on her side, but I am on her side, which is exactly what you want from a really good reality star. So yeah, she's basically saying that Silas is controlling, which she is, and she's like kicking him out of her room, and then she's basically saying, you're controlling, get out my face, you're controller, controller, which I really like that she was calling him controller.

And Silas. So she's, oh I'm sorry, go ahead. No,. Um, and so she's, I'm sorry, go ahead. No, no, you go, you go, go. No, you go. No, listen, listen, I refuse to be a controller like Silas. So I, I request that you go now and you try to interrupt, but it is not working. I'm so worse. We're interrupters. Okay, we're, it's 11 years.

I talk over you, You talk over me. This is just the way it is. We're so excited to talk to each other that we just talk over each other. Okay. I'm worse. Also, I'm purple. Why am I purple the last couple of days?

I don't think I'm purple in my real life. Let me look at myself and see how they're purple. You're rosy. I think it's karma. You know, it's from talk. I look, I wish I could show you this. I'm not purple. I'm purple in this video.

Yeah. Maybe you can just your white balance a little bit. Oh God. So I'm purple and I think it's karma for calling Louie from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Purple, the same way that I call Andy Cohen Wunky. I'd and I've got a Wunky. I like I've got one I bigger than the other. It's karma people.

Karma is a real thing. Yes, but when you podcast, it happens all the time. It really does. Okay, so she's yelling controlling your controlling controller controller. And he's like, he's now bitching to summer who just got here. And it's like, what the hell? And he's like, Oh, she says I control my wife. She's saying that I control my wife. That's insulting to my wife. And Preston's like, oh my God, you're all dumb as fuck, and for every honest, right?

I mean, it's like they're both right. Silas is controlling, Embria is manipulative. Thank you. Thank you. Why is nobody saying is manipulative? That hard. I can't even say it the way that they're saying.

Minipulative. Well, Bria was saying it's manipulative. I say manipulative. Minitilative. Minitilative. There's manipulative. I say manipulative. Manitulative. Manitulative. Manitulative. There's like a T instead of a P. Manitulative.

I was saying it different. Manitulative. Now, I don't know how to say it anymore, because I said it too much. Manitulative. I didn't know there was such a way, there was such a difference in the way that we all say manipulative from place to place,

but here we are. So then, some are like, what's happening? And she's like, he's being nasty. And then now Jasmine is downstairs yelling and stalking through the house holding Silas's hand, because they're a couple. And they will not be fought with because they are a couple in the house, they're a block.

So she's like, Bria, stay in your room, stay in your room, Bria. I'm not playing with this disrespect. I am holding hands with my husband. There. So Briya's like, Silas doesn't remember telling me that Simon can stay for a week and then all of a sudden it's three days.

I'm not gonna let someone control me, my boyfriend, or my dog, what we're gonna do with it. That is what it is. So speaking of this dog, I watched some of Watcher Happens Live after this, by the way, I don't know if you watched it or not, but there was the Bravo account on Instagram was very excited because it was going to be Milo's big debut on Watch Happens Live. So basically it was Brea and Amir as the guests, like adorable, great, The two of them are just so pretty.

It's as hard to even fathom. And Milo is in the audience. And Milo was making so much noise. Like in the middle of it, Milo first was crying. And Andy was like doing this show. He was like, oh, by the way, that's your dog crying in the audience. And he was getting annoyed.

And at one point Milo actually starts just a bark during this show. And I bring this up just to remind everyone of my thesis. Milo is a stupid dog. Milo is not a dog that should be on our TVs. Milo can't even know the trauma. I'm not a trauma on. You hate Milo.

I hate Milo. I hate Milo. I would not mess with Andy. My low obviously hasn't heard what happened to Andy's last dog. I know, my auntie does not play. And he always turned into a stuffed animal. He's now on the set as a stuffed version of that dog. Okay. What's that dog's name?

I had a dream. Watch a watch or a walker or something like that. No. W-A-C-U-J. No. Not the fake dog. The real dog. name I had a dream watch a watcher or walker or something like that now wac No, not the fake dog the real dog was that the real dog's name? Yeah, I think it's named after a baseball player Oh, not watch it. What happened? I think it's watcher or matcha But I'm I also Now is the point my okay

I guess I'll I just want to mention two other things as long as I'm part about what happens live. Andy asked if the two of them were fans of the original summer house, and they were, Brea is obsessed with Paige and a mere loves Carl, and he loves Carl so much

that he actually emailed Carl to ask if he could get a job at Levarboy and Carl asked, oh, so what are your qualifications? And he wrote back and then Carl goes to him and never wrote back. So. Whoa. Yeah.

Well, my qualifications are that I'm on TV. What are your fucking qualifications? Aren't you fired from like a dental sales before a Leatherboy? Let's not, let's not start judging each other's qualifications, Carl. Yeah. Carl's terrible work ethic. Sorry for the hiccups. Again, drinking a topo chico today. Why?

I don't know. I drink bubbles, then I say, why did I hiccup? Wow, I was. I was, bubbles look great, but if those bubbles want a job, a lover boy just let me know what your qualifications are. I'm kidding, I'm never gonna write you back. I'm not gonna roll up.

Oh. So anyway. Are you okay? No, I know I have a hiccup, speak of a lie, drink some topo, shico, I was so embarrassing. I will also say, while you go through your hiccups, that they showed Amir, they showed them clips of dogs on Bravo.

There was like the top five dog moments and the number one moment was Sonia doing the funeral for Miliu and all the ashes blowing on on everyone and a mirror had like never seen it before and he was horrified by it And I was at the end of the show so we couldn't even have time to react you just saw his face being like Did they do that to a dog? Did this really happen? Oh? No, you got the mylos. I'm so sorry. We can't quit. You got the mylos Oh no, you got the mylos. I'm so sorry, we can't quit. You got the mylos.

I'm just yipping noises. I think I saw and read it or something where they were talking about the scene. Or the cod. I think I have to drink upside down. What do you do for hiccup so much? Well, there is a thing where you're supposed to startle someone. So, I guess I'll supposed to startle someone.

So, I guess I'll try to startle you by going, that's my opinion! No, didn't work. Didn't work. So, okay, let me, let me focus. It's not about the hiccup. I'm sorry, everybody. If hiccup's grocery out, just go away

because there's no bread, I can't stop. Okay, so. So I'm going to put some bread's no regret. I can't stop. Okay, so. So I'm going to break all the way. I saw Cliff on Reddit, I think, of the scene where they were in the Berkshire's and Sonya was holding her, like the dog to her chest and like wasted and they're, I'm going,

Sonya put down the dog. Sonya put down the dog, Sonya. Just like. All wasted and the gift wasn't the gif, was entitled something like, woman defense. And the gift wasn't the gif was entitled something like, um, woman defense self with dog. Well, Briya will be doing that soon, I'm sure. So now we're at the basement of this house because time for another house meeting where the offenders are not present to defend themselves

or say anything. Yeah. So this is not So this does not follow the US justice system. No, it's not. So it does not. So Silas is like calling for a vote and presents like, well, what happened when you went upstairs and Silas goes, I literally tried to talk to her and she was like, oh, you're controlling.

Jasmine doesn't have a mind of own. You tell her what to do. I mean, I'm like, you're insulting my wife, Jasmine, this is your seat, and you should be sitting there, you're in the wrong seat. Okay, this is the seat for you. Okay. Jasmine, hold my hand and nod.

He's insulting you. You see, he's insulting her. She's insulting you, you dummy, and she's correct. Does it make it more noble if you fight for your wife? Like, this guy's so... It's a kid problem. Like, this guy is really troubled. I would, there are so many red flags like this guy's so it's a cable like this guy is really troubled I would there's so many red flags about this guy it's like you won't even

fight with you without making it like will I have to be a man you're insulting my wife which makes my fight even noble who dare you treat a woman like this oh woman she can't even vote so yeah know. So, yeah, he keeps on saying like, she's manipulative. And she insulted my wife, bro. And Briya, meanwhile, is upstairs FaceTiming Simon, because God forbid, three minutes have gone by without her FaceTiming this guy. And she's like, Simon, I got into it with everybody.

It was terrible. He's like, oh my God. He's like, yes, exactly. I'm not playing. I'm not. Look, there's my stuff I pack my bag a little bit for the cameras. Oh my god. Are you packed your stuff? That's his wild So let me just say Simon has a really high tolerance for being grossed out We're learning little things about Simon because Nick has brought Bria food He's brought her a plate of food because he felt bad for her being upset in her room.

And she is scarthing this plate of food and talking or her mouth. She's like, oh, I'm food flying out and the camera's down here. You know, it's like the worst angle you can have. Just like talking mouthful, open mouth spuing food. And Simon just loves it. Why can't I find him?

This is King guy like, and he's rich. Where the fuck are they keeping these people? I'm moving to Germany. Bye. Yeah, call to Germany. The land of men who love women who eat with their food in their mouths and are wealthy and give out watches.

So Jason is saying that, oh, who's Jason, he's the new guy. So Jason's like, he wants them all to move past that he's like, I just moved into this house and we're still talking about this and it's starting to irritate me and it's like, what the fuck are we talking about? Because he sort of sounds like Aaron Neville to me. So I guess I should have said that before I started talking like that's what made sense Wow That was my like lame Aaron Neville impersonation

So Priya's like Simon you know me what happens when people disrespect me You eat a pizza and then fling it into their face with your teeth Which is like no, I turn into a Tasmanian devil. A Tasmanian devil who likes to chew it, I'm out open and then get spit all over the phone, camera lens, all so sexy. I'm touching myself right now. And she's like, so then Jasmine is telling everybody,

well, my goal was to have a house meeting about having guests. It wasn't even about her boyfriend. It was about having a house meeting about having guests. It wasn't even about her boyfriend. It was about having a guest. It was about her boyfriend, you controlling asshole, because everyone in this house is somehow your friend, which is also unfair. You don't get to start making rules about everybody else,

where it's a rule about how long you can keep your goddamn controlling husband in here that nobody likes. Yeah, exactly. I really am trying to come along. I really have been in the past team. I think three days is appropriate. I think what's thankful for Fulby is a little crazy as a guest to the house. But I am really trying to move towards like honestly just have him come because Jasmine and Tala are really becoming awful. Or they have been awful So Bria's saying, telling, Bria's saying that, she's like, guess what Simon,

I just told Jasmine about the length of his, and now all of a sudden it's like a problem. Like, so the fucking three days you're supposed to stay here what like the other days, I'm supposed to just like sit here and listen to Jasmine, get her back blown out and be like, okay, this is fine. You get the bust here and up, but I don't get to bust my nut,

and then you're like mad that I got like my dog here, like, oh my god, like, we got a dog here but I don't get to bust my nut, and then you're like mad that I got my dog here. Like, oh my god, like, we got a dog here. Am I supposed to fuck my dog, get my nut off? Or what am I supposed to do? Simon? Now, I'm on pretty side usually. But this is not the start. This is when she starts to fucking my dog

and getting my nut off on the dog. It's just very difficult. Also, this started because you brought your fucking dog and didn't tell anybody, and it's a dog owner. I can't do that, and neither can you. Okay, you just can't do it. Also, I don't think it's the strongest argument to say, it's not fair that my guests can stay

for a very long amount of time because you get to have sex, and I want to be able to have sex. I just don't think that's a strong argument. I think it should just be more like, he should be able to stay for a long time because he's my boyfriend and like, who cares? It's a threat. It's like, right, because you could fuck anywhere. You know, your boyfriend doesn't have to be here to fuck. It's weird. It's a weird

argument. Now, I, here's a good argument. You are calling me rude and you're calling my dog rude when we have to listen to your porn sex and you getting banged and screaming your head off on purpose to get attention. That's fucking disgusting. I'm not here to hear that. And nobody should have to hear it. And you should pay all of us. You should pay all of our rent for this.

Because we shouldn't have to hear. There's an argument, because that's really inconsiderate and gross. And it's noise pollution, man. Now, I will also say this. I am now starting to go back to team three days, not team seven days, but not for the reasons why Jasmine and Salis are saying it. I know that if I were in that household and it's like someone's like,

oh, I must have my boyfriend here for half the time. Like, I would be like, am I not good enough? Like, you can't hang out with me. Like, you can't, like, so what? Like, what's the man? Like, you can't, like, what? Like, we're not good enough. You have to have your boyfriend, if your boyfriend's not here for seven days,

this is all like sucks for you. Like it is kind of insulting to the other people in the house. I have to say, I still believe that it should be a three days, he comes in for the last three days, and then they spend three days in Boston and New York. I really feel like that is the best thing to do. It would not be the end of the world if it comes for seven days.

This is my official ruling for today, but I still think three days Martha's vineyard, three days some other day, and that's what I say. Now I think it's unfair. She has her own room, he's sleeping with her, it's no big deal, okay? He can pay for it. It also is no big deal.

But I still think that- I'm on team Bria for that. So we're just split, that's what's happened. We're split on the very important pressing issue. So how sweeting to vote your ass out. I'm what I'm saying is I have be all around my sides You're gonna lean is whatever house meeting I have you have an extra vote. You have an extra paw though I what I'm saying it it is no big deal and if she gets the seven days so be it But I just think that like in some ways it's actually kind of like it is kind of devaluing the other roommates.

That's like you just cannot, you cannot fathom having to spend all that time with the people in the house. You must have your boyfriend during that time. No, I think if anybody else has a significant other, they can bring them to, and it's not fair that some people get to have significant others and others don't.

And Jasmine is obviously coming for her because she's mad about the dog still, which I'm kind of on Jasmine's side about that. But Jasmine is holding a grudge and now she's got the couple coming after her and the couple is the boss of everything. And so she's kind of gotten herself into this mess, but I'm still on her side.

Yeah, I think that Jasmine and Silas' reasoning is not good reasoning. I don't support their reasoning. Anyway. Yeah, they're terrible. They're terrible people. And you know what? They're terrible neighbors. I can't just tell you that. I already know they're terrible fucking neighbors.

Those are the two on the HOA. They sit on the board. They run every year and they've just got enough ass kissers to like get that vote every year, even though everybody fucking hates them. And they're the ones who leave notes on your house saying your guard is garbage day was yesterday. Why are you just wondering as a couple in the HOA, why are your garbage cans still outside the next day?

We're gonna have to fix that. We're gonna take your home. You know that? They ruin my inner calm system. I'm gonna blame them for my inner calm system because you know what? Where I am, there's like two little gates, two pedestrian gates to get into where are places. And it was that if you came to our place,

you press a button at the front and there's a little screen and it'd be a buzzer. It's like a buzzer. How apartments have buzzers, you press a button and there's a buzzer. And you can get buzzed in. And there also have to be a little camera so you can get buzzed in. And there also have to be like a little camera, so you can see a little screen.

It was really fun. You can buzz people in. Buzzer's classic buzzers. Well, guess what? The one gate, the buzzer wasn't working so well. So what did the place do? They took out both buzzers and replaced it with, you know those push button pin codes,

where it's like manual, it's like not even electric, where you have to push the buttons in, sometimes you have to do tool buttons, and it's just like it's really janky and it's really shitty. And you know, it's because Jasmine and Silas were there, and they were like, our buzzer doesn't work, I think we need to get a better system where we're not reliant on buzzers.

So now we don't have buzzers, which is so inconvenient. So what happens? People have to call you? Yeah. Well, you have to hope that they can figure out how to use the code. And by the way, the code is hard to do. It's hard to push it in because it's like these buttons. And you don't know if you're doing it right. And if you mess up, like, how do you reset it? And like, so now it's a disaster, anytime anyone comes over, anytime any delivery comes by,

anytime the mailman comes by. That kind of complaining, it's like Jasmine and Silas and Complain and would actually get rid of a very useful buzzer and replace it with a shittier low rant version. Just so that they could have the power. And so everybody around could be like, they did this and they're like,

hey, don't you forget who's in power, either. We have the power to fuck up your buzzer. What else do we have power to do? Don't bring your dog on this trip. Yeah, thank you for letting me vent about that because I think that was very tenuous that can actually do anything we're talking about, but I think I just needed to get it off my chest.

That was really important. People think I'm, I hate the buzzers. People think really important. People at the end, I hate the buzzer. People at the end, it's just for no reason. Yeah, I hate it. Especially because my buzzer worked. It was the other gate that didn't work. They punished my buzzer, and now I'd have no buzzer. Yeah, that would suck.

That would, I'd be super pissed because that's DoorDash time. That's my DoorDash time. You know what I mean? Or like when somebody can't just like get my DoorDash to me, you're gonna have a fucking problem with your business, and I wanna call, I don't wanna talk to anybody, that's why I'm getting my DoorDash.

Okay, I'm gonna wanna discuss it. That shit needs to work. Yeah, it's time to rally. I'll fight for you if you need somebody to call a bitch at somebody, you know, I'll do that for you. I'd like to bitch at something. I'm just like, especially on the phone when they can't see me. I don't like doing it as much in person, but I love a good phone.

I'm excuse me. Like, I could totally whip that one out. I, yeah, I might need you because it's like someone said, oh, my doorbell's not working. So you know what? Let's just get rid of all the doorbells and just replace it with knockers. Who needs doorbells not working so you know what let's just get rid of all the doorbells and just replace it with knockers. He'll need doorbells. Commercials, here comes one right now.

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Again, that zippercruiter.com slash C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S. Zipper Cruder, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronnie. Go on, plancer meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly.

Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the

planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. Okay, so now we're calling this vote. Like you said, Bria, is not here for this vote. This is not fair. So, Jasmine's like, so how do all of us feel

about guessing for the rest of the time? And Preston's like, okay, fine, if we can agree that three nights is fair, then we can agree. This is supposed to be college night, we're supposed to be turning up. No, you don't get to just casually fucking agree with the controlling assholes in the house.

That's not fair either. Why aren't you saying bring Bria down? You're not being a very good girlfriend, Preston. Yeah, and he's a lawyer. He should understand that you have to have your client there. Here's my problem with what he's doing. He is greasing the squeaky wheel. Am I hate when people grease the squeaky wheel?

Get a new wheel. Well, okay. Stop greasing the fucking squeaky wheel. Take the wheel off. Throw it in the fucking junkyard, and get a new wheel. I'm sick of squeaky wheels winning all the time. But also, Silas is calling a house meeting in the middle of like fun college night. Okay, so everyone just wants to get back to fun college night. So he knows he can just like force this legislation right through because people want to be doing other things.

And so that's also, that's fucked up, that there should have been, this vote should have been suspended for a more boring time of the day when they could really focus on this, not at a time like, hey, let's do this vote and the faster we do this vote, we can get back to doing playing flip-cup.

Well, it's funny because this is also an American, the way the votes happening, the way that they're trying to just rig this and get their way and push their way through. And then the one to make it very old school American is the German by coming in and bringing big money into it. And then he writes the ship. That's the most American thing.

He just like wins it over with pure capitalism. I don't know if it was capitalism, just money. But either way. So, summer's the new girl. She's like, I don't think I should be part of this film because I just came into the house, but if I'm going to keep Bria calm because she's not a calm human being,

then please let Simon stay the whole time. So she's basically like Team Bria on this one. And she's Team Bria because she thinks Brea's a pain in the ass. So she does like, save Brea's a pain, but she'll give her her way. Also, I have to point out just because it's important to know who voted what. Alex, Summer, Amir and Jordan do not raise our hand in favor of this vote. So it's five in favor, five against, but they're not taking Brea's vote, and that would make it a tie.

This is completely unfair. And Jason's like, I feel like I'm on Survivor with all these votes. And... And then Preston does one of those things where a gay guy says something and a gay way, so everyone laughs even though it doesn't even make any sense. He goes, he goes, is this what straight people do usually? Y'all are wild. And I'm like, oh my god, I have a gay person.

That's straight people. People vote. Or not only straight people vote, sir. Okay. I mean, I'm gonna let it pass, but come on. Yeah. That's a great people. Brea wants to go home and she's like, I want to go home and Simon's like, but I already booked my flight.

Don't get distracted. Who cares about other people? I love how Simon, this guy who's so wealthy that he shows up in a rented sports car and hands out designer watches at the end of the episode, can't read book his flight. He can't get a credit. You know, like God forbid, you know, but he's so wealthy.

So he's like, listen, I'm coming to America to be on television, my damn, and you're not taking that away from me. Get fucking comfortable, okay? I'm leaving care for you, chewing my fucking face on the phone for the next year to pay me off, I'm coming, I'm coming. So she's like, oh my God,

you made me feel so much better. Simon just makes me feel so much better. Simon just makes me feel so much better. Probably because he was, you heard the sounds of Canal Street as he was downtown, the hustle and bustle, buying fake watches to give everybody later. Canal Street puts everybody in good mood. So, Priya's like, I love you and I care for you and I can't wait for you to get here. And he's like, I care for you, babe. I always have your back. And don't get mad because of these stupid things. Now, if you wish to eat some pizza for me, that would be wonderful. Eat it slowly

and eat it loudly. I don't know if she took a benzo or what is happening to this girl, but she's falling asleep with food in her mouth on a phone So then hot tub people changed out of their togas and good party and Alex is snoring face down on the couch and Amir is we see time pass because the moon is slowly going down It's summer house after job and the mirror's getting closer to summer. And he's like, oh, she's on her phone. She's got a roster going on. A roster, everybody. It's the key way.

It's a code word this year on summer house. Those people. Why are people in 2023 surprised about quote unquote, rosters like Sam on summer house this? Like, isn't that a part doesn't that part of modern dating? So Summer's like, um, ask me a question, any question you want, I'll answer. And it's an AMA. It's a summer AMA and a mirrors like, okay, um,

who is your initial interest in the house? And does that person carry letters around randomly? It's just, it's you. The answer is it's you. And he's like, wow, I didn't expect that. I'm sure you didn't. Okay. Aren't you hot enough, Amir? Do you really need to be asking that's your big question? Who's the hottest in the house? We all know it's you, Amir. Okay. At you on the head. You did a hot. Amir, you're very, very hot. Very hot.

Very extremely hot. Okay. Amir. okay, I'm here. Like a snake. So then Brea is projecting onto Milo. She's like, Milo, I know you're scared and I'm so sorry. Yeah, well, you also just threw a suitcase at the dog. So. Ha ha ha. You also just tried to eat Milo to get Simon off, so.

Milo just had to watch you too. So maybe let's adjust our behavior. Brilla, I said hot dog. Not the dog. Hot dog. He said hot dog. So Jasmine and Silas are doing their fucking porn style and screaming and they are every new couple, the performative.

for every new couple, the performative. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. No one screams like that during sex. Okay, we've all had sex a million fucking times. No one believes you. I used to have this roommate who, when she would start dating a new guy, every few, first few times. A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Oh, look at that, look at that. Two weeks later, it's just, that's all you hear is the pounding it would take maybe two minutes and then it was over and at some point I was like you don't when do you decide to just stop even trying yeah because it seems like it's two weeks what brings you to that point at the second week where Were you just like, nah, I'm not gonna pretend to give a shit anymore. Well, it's like an American Idol when a finalist gets several weeks in

and then it seems like your spark is gone. That's what it is. It's just like seven weeks of American Idol and it's like country week. You're just not sure if you have what it takes to get to the finale anymore. You've already got what you need out of this. I was just so happy that my hiccups left that I drank some tobochiko and then I hiccuped.

I feel like you orgasmed them back into existence. It's going to be my country week. You just tick up on national television. Go, go. It's awful. So, uh, yeah, loud sex. Everyone's like, oh my god. Then Briea's like, this is what I'm talking about. This is why I need to have Simon,

because I want to have loud sex. So now it's the next day. And, um, I'm here sleeping on the sofa in the living room for some reason. The living room, also known as Silas' workspace apparently. And Jason woke up with a headache and he's like, I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And he's talking about how he has real drama in his life, because guess what? He has a three-month-old daughter that he loves very much, loves her so much.

He decided to go off to Martha's Vineyard to party with people without her. I know. It's like, this is not below deck. What are you doing with this story? You are not on top real drama. A child that you've just left to be on television. I'm sorry. Can we bring up the anchor?

Don't confuse the audience like this. You're only allowed to have a child that you don't see if you're on below deck or top chef. Maybe project runway. But hello, summer house doesn't make sense. I mean, top chef, you're gonna win a lot if you and you're gonna your life is gonna change If you're on what's the other one? Tasha life

Talk yeah project running you're working so at least you're working to get money to support that child Summer house you're just going to get sit face for three weeks and fuck other people, okay? That's not a good excuse to leave your, I know it's not your significant other, you just said you're co-parenting. That's not cool to leave a three month old alone with one parent while you go fucking party and hot tubs and orthos vineyard. Get your ass back home, sir.

I know. So he's like, but he's still, he's, and first time Martha's vineyard and he's ready to let loose so Nick goes checking on Briya and Briya says that she feels like she's going in circles like Why do I have to keep repeating myself to these people and they're acting like they're like playing me as a fool like you never said that You never said that and Nick's like Yeah, I'm just bringing you some bacon. I don't know what else to say. So, mix like, the only other person I was hitting on this house

really doesn't like me. So I'm just gonna come to your room every night. So, Bri is like, you know what? They don't even know. She's just telling us. They don't even know that Simon's planning a big extravagant dinner for them. And I know that they're gonna love him.

Cause he's so positive. And by positive positive I mean City bank the city bank is very very big huge huge Yeah, so Nick is like Well last night we had a chat with everybody and and everybody was comfortable with Three nights they decided on three nights and breathe like well if he has to leave then we will leave together I'm like wow Billy Joel I decided on three nights and Bree was like, well, if he has to leave, then we will leave together. I'm like, wow, Billie Joel,

we all go down together. Congratulations. What a stance to take. I will leave Martha's vineyard three days earlier than when I'm supposed to. And Nick's like, well, we're gonna be sad. And come on, my girlfriend's coming. I want you to meet my girlfriend.

LOL, I'm sure. You see on Wonder Woman's plane right now? George Glass. He's a little lady in the, the unpredictable glass. my girlfriend. L.O.L. I'm sure. You see on Wonder Woman's plane right now? George Glass. I mean, the invisible glass. George Glass. George Glass. George Glass.

And so, Bria's like, oh, she's coming here to the house. Do you know her resize by any chance? Does she have wrists? Is she real? And he's like, maybe. I think her resize is three to 12 inches. I have no idea. No idea. So then we see Jordan on her computer.

And they remind us that Jordan is a model slash DJ. LOL, please. Can we? Here's one thing I miss about this show. The going to the city to see what they actually do during the week. We don't get that because they're staying here three weeks solid. But I really need to see what Jordan does. I also have to say this. Okay. there are many smart, capable people who DJ, and there are many very smart, wonderful, great DJs.

I have friends who DJs, a lot of people do that, but for some reason, there's something about slash DJ, just as you're on your title, that's just embarrassing. I don't know what it is, It's like political activist slash DJ. You're like, ah, I like it to values everything, you know? Yeah, I do. And I don't really know what to say seriously, you know? I can't take this seriously. I'm sorry.

Like you can't, you can't get mad at me for not taking seriously when you say model slash DJ. I don't know, make something else up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I just I just can't I guess life coach. I don't know.

Life coach. I don't have proof of either. I mean, we know that you're a mom. We know that you worked at Playboy. We know that you were in Playboy. So model. Okay. DJ.

I don't know. And I think that might be partly a bravo thing because James Kennedy like does anybody take James? James can't like I think he ruined DJing for me I don't really I think I don't understand it But I know that a lot of stupid people say that they're DJs and I've never had proof of it Also, I've seen smart. I've seen like mobis do it where they're like on the DJ and vegan I'm like, okay, I believe him because, you know, I like him. But I don't believe everybody just,

too many people say they're the same. It's the slash DJ. Like if someone says that they're just a DJ, I'm like, okay, cool, you're a DJ. But it's the slash DJ. It's like I'm also part time. I'm also a DJ. And by the way, it's not just DJ.

I think also the words blogger and honestly, quite frankly, podcaster, you know, and I've been both a slash blogger and a slash podcaster, okay, so I get it. You know, you could say anything. You could literally be like, president of a small country slash blogger, and people like, no, no, sorry,

you've lost your legitimacy. It's just the way it goes. Certain things you can't put after a word after a slash. DJ. DJ. DJ. DJ. Those things. I think your president like you never see Dr. Slash DJ. You know what I mean? You never see that. Ambassador. Slash DJ. What was it? Ambassador. Slash DJ. Ambassador. Slash. Slash DJ. Okay. So um, Jasmine comes in and she's trying to be really nice to Jordan because Jordan kind

of hates Jasmine right now and she won't they haven't really gotten into it yet but you can just tell every time Jasmine comes around Jordan Jordan wants to kill Jasmine, right? So she's got that look on her face. She's like, I'm a model slash D.J. and I'm in bed with my main source of income, my laptops. So I don't really know what you're doing here. And she's in a four-poster bed and Jasmine comes in and she's like touching the posters and she's like, oh my God, this bed gives me like early 2000 lead character. Like they had this type of bed right.

So what I'm saying, because I'm a screenwriter. So I also use laptops. So. And you know what's kind of funny is that this bed doesn't just have a single post. Okay, it's part of something larger than itself. It's just not just a post by itself. Okay, I can't live without just being on its own.

There's more posts, and together they're unit. Isn't that so funny? Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion Podcast, and just like that, the Riders Room. Each episode members of the Riders Room and I unpacked moments from Season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that Season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to and just like that, the Riders Room on Max or wherever you get your podcast. So she's like, so this is your one year, it's knit, from when you quit having sex with

people, even though you told me you'd come on the show and fuck people when I encourage you to, because that's all I seem to really care about, other than my own relationship. So how about that? And Jordan's like, yeah, I reached one year of being celibate. And so I accomplished goal. So am I going to just go bust it up open tomorrow? Like maybe not, but I mean, I really don't know. So, but she's gonna go to,

she's gonna celebrate a brunch anyway, and she's gonna fight all the girls in Preston. And Jaz, we're gonna fuck. We're gonna fuck brunch. Why do we have to go to brunch for you not fucking for a year? Where's my brunch? I haven't fucked for a year. What do I get?

Hey, I'll take it a brunch. I'll take it a brunch. I think I need to eat this for lunch. You can have a brunch for just installing a new Alexa into your household. I don't care. Oh, actually it hasn't been a year. Well, but still the point I've gone a year before with maybe I haven't. Still, it sounds stupid. It sounds like a celebration. It sounds like the wrong kind of celebration. Like you haven't fucked for a year. Let's go have a lovely brunch about it.

Let's have to do it with anything. I would throw you brunch for any reason to have brunch. I will literally do it. So whether it's celebrating celibacy, whether it's celebrating, just selling a hell of it somewhere, I will do a brunch for you. So, how would you do it for me if I was like, I'm, guys, I've decided I'm now identifying as a slash DJ. So I'd appreciate it. It'll be a DJ brunch.

It'll be a DJ brunch. You can play a set on your songs. It'll just be a DJ, bro. You'll take your, you'll take your benedict and be like, wake you, wake you, wake you, wake you, wake you, wake you. Your fingers will have holidays on it, but it'll be such a sweet set. I just played Coachella.

Brundtella. I'm played Coachella. Bruner-Chella. I'm all for it. So anyway, so Jordan is trying to talk about Brea. She's like, can we? And because Jasmine does not want to talk about Brea, but Jordan's trying to talk about Brea and Jasmine just changes the subject and basically is like, what are you wearing?

Okay, great, I'm gonna go, bye. So then in another room, Summer announces that tonight is gonna be Rega night and there's gonna be patties and jerk chicken and she tells us about how growing up, a lot of people were like, hey, what are you? And she says, put an Irish Canadian and a Jamaican together and you get this and she doesn't know her father

who was like the white side of her family. So she was raised by her Jamaican side and she always felt misunderstood and she wants to show everyone where she's from and some of the amazing food from her family. So she was raised by her Jamaican side and she always felt misunderstood and she wants to show everyone where she's from and some amazing food from her culture. So then getting ready for brunch. Brea really is a stunner. My God. See? Really? She's not clean up. Well, my God. She's beautiful. So everybody gathers in the kitchen and Shazman is telling us, I don't have to engage with Brea, but I'm telling you right now, the respect is gone.

And when Simon arrives, he'll be lucky if I even agree. Okay, okay, Sadie, Sadie, married lady. You're very, very important, okay? And everyone cares a whole lot about your opinion. Can't wait to see how you give Simon that cold shoulder. Can't wait to see how you give Simon that cold shoulder. Can't wait to see it. Hope you have a straw hat to do it in. I know. Can't wait to see if that makes it to your guns and really be a principal driven person. So the girls get into a car and then a mirror goes shuffling to the house going, let's do

dude stuff and walk around in our underwear and I don't know like maybe wrestle and maybe the under-work and fall off and I don't know Things could just happen and we don't have to tell the girls about it Just a great face. I love hanging out with women. We know Preston Okay, we know he's like I'm going to the celebrity lunch So they go to a restaurant and Of course Brea brings her fucking dog to the stop. Stop. No. She will always lose on all these,

every argument she's always gonna ultimately lose because of the dog, her emotional support dog. It's not that dog, it's not that kind of dog. You know what I mean? Like, it's like me like taking Bueller on my lap. Like, he's just too big, he's like his butt's gonna be hanging out. It's not a lap dog. Too hairy, also too much like that is a long hair hair dog and I don't need that near my food.

Okay. It's gonna get an influence. I'm sorry. I think my low is a very cute, very sweet, very funny dog. I love my low, but just stop. It's not my low. It's bria. Stop, bria.

Yeah. Stop it. No, stop it. So, briaya she feels good She feels like it's a new day and pressing goes well We did miss you last night when we held a vote without you being there and basically you know took away your rights in the house So we did miss you And it goes I really do I really do think we want to meet Simon

I'm really excited to meet Simon and then tell him he has to leave. I'm so excited for that Priya And she's like um that'll be nice, but you know what? It's Jordan's day to day. So Jordan, why are you so a bit free? And I really like that. I really like that, Brea is like, listen, I've sucked all the air out of the room with my fighting. So let somebody else do something for a change.

I'm off. You know, because it's also her way of taking a break. Like, I've literally brought drama on this show every episode so far. How about we try and go with Jordan's celebrity storyline, Jordan? No, she was not taking a break. She is playing the long game and by long game, I mean, the 24-hour game, which is she's just going to be nice and amenable and make sure other people get the spotlight. And if they so happen to come

into having a watch by the end of the day or the next day and they just see how reasonable Briya is and selfless she is and they want Simon to stay for full seven days so be it. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? It really has nothing to do with what we're talking to. Ugly people have branches like this. Do ugly people ever have celibacy branches where they're like, I haven't fucked somebody for a year and everyone's so shocked that they all go to talk about it. And over now, ugly people don't get celibated. They're like, I haven't fucked in a year and they're like, who fucked you a year ago? It's a celery brunch.

Just going to have some celery. Yeah, that's a good point. So, Jordan's talking about her last relationship. It was, she got caught up in a situation ship and she thought she had control of it. She didn't, by the way, I hate when people say a situation ship because it just makes me think of the situation from Jersey Shore

and I really don't need to think of like someone gorgeous, like Jordan having sex with the situation, but she's not in a bad house. She's a situation ship. that's his next job. He's just like, hey, welcome to my ship, we're gonna party on this fucking boat, right? She's like a cruise around Jersey. Yeah, and then he winds up like working

as a dike hand and below, like, hey, I got experience that worked on a booze cruise. I know what I'm doing, and he's like tying the anchor around like a sail. Also, situationhips are never, they're always alluding to something you did wrong, right? Like, oh my God, I was in a situation ship with this guy. Usually means like, I fuck that guy in a dealer's dress again.

You know what I mean? Yes, a dealer. You just said, Hey Jordan, the dealer's, please. At least give him like banana republic or something. Not a dealer's. Sorry for rejecting, but it's never, at least give him like banana republic or something. Not really. Sorry for rejecting. But it's never

situation. Ship is like, you know, when you fuck someone on the back of a cracker barrel while the pledge of allegiance is playing over the loudspeaker. And he's got Apple. He's got Apple butter on his mouth, but you don't care anyway. Yeah, it's never something like wholesome, you know? And sure enough, hers is, you know, I thought it was great and, you know, I knew that he was just out of relationship, but then it turns out he was never out of the relationship. Oh, so you were, you were with some dude who

is in a relationship, okay? You're trying to make it sound better. I don't know that I believe it. But that's, that's a situation. The, the. I don't know that I believe it, but that's a situation. The minute I heard that word, I was like, uh-oh, at half. But she got so hurt by that that she decided not to fuck. Anybody anymore? So, I don't know. You do you. Yeah, she, uh, she says she decided that when she, well, her original plan was after that, she said,

you know what, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna wait until I get into a proper relationship the next time I give someone a kuchi coin, which by the way is a new type of cryptocurrency. And then Jordan realized I think they've literally had that kuchi coin. Sam Friedman. What's his name? Fried Blinkman or Sam Friedman, Friedman Blink, he'll probably be on from us soon enough. They're like, wait a second, check her past. Go on with jail possibly. I'm on ice to own a coin called Ask back in my crypto days.

I was very proud of that. So yeah, she's gonna wait until she's in a relationship, which doesn't make sense because in 2023, I don't think you can be in a relationship with somebody until you've had sex with them. I don't think any of us are like really into that whole weight until how do you know you like them until you have sex with them?

That's a big part of it. It's a big part of it guys. Sam Bankman freed there, continue. So yeah, so yeah, she's a bit, she's solid bit. Okay, and so Jordan says, you know, like Jasmine's just rooting for Jordan to be excited for a guy, you know? And Jordan's like, well, I'm not ready

to be calling someone every night and letting them know where I'm at, in hand-to-hand. I'm not waiting for someone to be controlling me. I'm not waiting for someone that pre-able have to call controller, controller. You know, I'm just like, I'm, someone makes me excited, I'm just like, I'm, tell someone makes me excited, I'm not leaving my comfort zone.

And Jasmine is like, she tells us, I want her to be happy, but like at this moment, like, what are you looking for? Like, what's changed? I wanna have a real conversation about that, because I have her best interest at the end of the day. Like, it's not your fucking business, okay lady? So she's like, so summer, I mean,

talking about you coming out here, remember how you said you were single? So let's talk about how you don't want to be single because I'm really feeling the need for someone I like to also be desperate to not be single. So it's kind of counting on you for that. Let's go back to that. So summer starts talking about her previous relationship

and then she starts to cry and she's like, you know, like this guy, it's like, I had to walk away, so I had to show up for myself because I tried to give everything if you don't show up for yourself, then you're not gonna get what you deserve. And you know what, I love deeply and fast and hard.

And that's just the way I'm like, okay, enough. I don't care. I don't care. I have to show up for myself. Also, I'm not understanding what this means. So I'm like Jordan right now. I was with the guy who just broke up with his girlfriend, and then we started dating right away. So he started, basically, I'm getting,

he would like have sex with her and then start crying in bed and be like, put him in, mister. And then she's like trying to make him feel better about the ex. Men, men are fucking terrible. That's what I'm learning from this brunch. I'm starting to understand the celibacy thing. Yeah.

So now back at the house, people are napping and stuff. And they're back from the brunch. And summer goes into Alex's room to say hi and Alex is sitting on his bed He's riding because he's thoughtful, you know, and Those super deep you guys really deep and he's like yeah come on in because you can inspire what I'm trying to do And she's like oh, yeah, so what are you typically right in your empty notepad you got there? And he's like oh well, I'm just now coming into the notion that I'm a poet.

This guy is so full of things. Yeah, well, don't worry about interrupting me because you can inspire what I'm doing. I find more truth when I'm just out to wander. And I don't know what's gonna happen. I can't with people like this. I cannot. Actually, you know what's crazy? I literally just got this notification here on my phone. I just found out that I'm a poet. I just found this out. I just found out that I'm a poet. So,

guys, congratulations. I'm pretty deep. And I have a lot of thoughts about things. And I'm going to start. Are you coming to the notion that you're a poet? I'm not only coming to the notion, I've come to the notion. And I'm a poet. It's just what I am. I'm deep. And I'm going to start speaking slowly. And that's just the way it's going to be I'm gonna think about things a lot. Come back to the brunch. Jasmine's like, um, so I'm gonna need you to start coming on some notions. Okay, are we all good with that?

And Preston's like, that's all cheers to Jordan reclaiming her body and Jordan goes, reclaiming my time, sir. And I was like, are you really doing anti-maxing right now? Nobody wants to think of anti-maxine when we're ready to start fucking. Okay? So then we cut back to Alex and Summer. And he's like, you know, I don't know what's going to happen.

I just follow these notions around, you know. I've just got a wander through the fields of creativity. And she goes, yeah, a lot of my creativeness comes from sitting down and doing nothing. Yeah, I really am like meditating, so I can like access something that's beyond me. I'm really deep. I just want to say when you're really deep,

there's stuff that's beyond you, because it's so deep that's like, you have to reach really far down there and like the pressure is really big down there. The water pressure, you gotta wear like, have a special submarine to get down there. It's so deep. She's like, yeah, that's like why I meditate too.

Because your body vibrates and you get like on a different frequency and he goes, yeah, like I'm floating. And she goes, yeah, the earth belongs to everybody. Oh my God, you two fucking deserve each other. I fucking can't. And I love when people act like they've discovered meditating and it's a magical.

Okay, meditating is shutting the fuck up for like literally a minute to 20 minutes. Okay, we're also shocked that just shutting the fuck up for two seconds can lead to like miraculous brain changes. What do we think that Alex is gonna show up next episode with a guitar around his neck because I feel like that's where he's headed at this point.

I make a graduation summer. I feel like he's not. You fell for the most obvious, like deep, deep boy, Timothy Shilamay kind of like fuck boy thing, right? I think so too, yeah. I think this is his guitar, the poetry thing, because he's already got John Legend as his cousin,

so I feel like he's not gonna like try and compete on the musician level. He's gonna try and compete on the lyricist level. So I think he's like, oh, I'm a poet, so why aren't I writing lyrics, you know, and being a musician, like, John Legend, who I never mentioned. I'm just like really excited to read some of the poetry.

He comes up with while he's taking his thirst trap photos. I think that's gonna be some great content. It's really pretty. Poets slash DJ. Yeah. So now everyone's dressing up for the reggaeton party and Chef Dionne is arriving because he was hired because summer can't cook and all the food is there

and then there's like this shot, a long shot of a mere chomping on food, where he's just like, his mouth is just going up and down very animatedly. And then we find out why we have that long shot because the food is apparently spicy. And then he's like, my mouth hurts. And he starts saying that he's half Lebanese

and that in Middle Eastern cuisine, there's not spicy, it's sweet. Yes. It's not really sweet either. I don't know where he's getting that. At least in my household, it wasn't sweet. It's tart. It's tart.

I thought it was tart. Yeah, we have lemon in everything. We love some lemon. Okay, I don't know where the sweet is coming from. Can I just also point out this house loves broccoli? They have broccoli at every meal and not just a little broccoli. They love their broccoli.

There's like piles of broccoli in every meal. God, Alex, Alex from last season of summer house really went to the wrong household because he was the main product. He really did. He walked it right in here. And ground turkey. Yeah. So Nick comes down with the sweater,. He walked it right in here and ground turkey. Yeah.

So Nick comes down with the sweater to try to run his shoulders. I just think this guy's so funny, that this sweater's ran his shoulders. He's like, oh, over by. So everybody talks about how their mouths are hurting, because that's really spicy. And then Silas loves spicy food,

because he's Liberian, but then Jasmine Dazen, so his mom has to tone down the food. And then, now we're the game. Yeah, Summer says the words, I hate to hear him bravo, let's play a game. Okay, how about truth, dare or drink, which is a variation apparently on truth or dare. So Jordan Dare's Nick to jump in the pool

with all his clothes on. And again, I pick up on sexual chemistry between Jordan and Nick because like, I don't know, I just think it's funny that she's asking him to do that dare. I don't know, I get this vibe. So she asked him to- I saw him at all, really?

I just- Energy? No, it's just my fans. I just like when the nerd, when like the, I like stories when like the nerd and the hot one get together, whether it's like boy, like the boy is the nerd and the hot ones the girl or the girls the nerd and the hot ones the boy, like I just love that. So I think I'm just really trying to make that happen, even though it's not happening whatsoever, but just let me have it.

So he will not jump into the pool because he's running to center clothes all Ralph Lauren. he will not jump into the pool because he's running to his own clothes. All Ralph Lauren. Yeah. So then he's like, it's purple label. So she doesn't know how much my shoes cost. So then he dares summer. So he takes the drinks and then he dares summer to give anybody she chooses a twerk session. And this is why I hate these games, because they always turn into the guys like putting women into a salty situation.

You know what I mean? It's like, okay, now twerk on some dudes. Like, come on, man. So she doesn't care, though. She's not like, she's not approved like me. So she does it to him. And she goes for it, too. She does a good job.

And so Alex is like, okay, you know what? I had a notion that was gonna happen because I think she wants me, but she's just doing a little redirect to Nick. And I'm gonna write about my feelings on this on my next poetry album, Slash DJ Tour. You want to do a little misdirect with Nick. And I said, I'm on to your trick. God, I love being a poet. So, Bria is like, okay, Nick, I see you. Okay. So, then Nick,

Nick decides that, Oh, Bria is by the way like, okay, Nick's like pretty much like a little bit too much into it. She's like, okay, this is how you're actually going to grow a friend. I see you. I see you. So, then Nick decides that he's going to do the dare after all is who takes off his fancy shoes and he jumps into the pool with all his clothes on and everyone cheers and you're like, and seen. But then it continues. So then Milo starts humping Jason's arm

and he's like, what the fuck? And then, and then Summer's like. This was so good because Milo first is just licking his arm, right? And he's like, oh, that's nice to whatever. And then Mil and then Summer's like, this was so good because Milo first, it's just looking his arm right. And he's like, oh, that's nice, or whatever. And then Milo starts like, um, to turn, turn, and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop playing Milo.

And then Milo gets his own truth booth session. And then we just close up on Milo's face and he's crying. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Listen, Milo's getting into the spirit. So then, now Summer dares a's a mere due to give Jordan a strip to use dance. So Jordan, a mere does a whole thing, takes off a shirt and dances and rides on her,

but then he like hops off and jazves. I was like, no, I love this. What we're doing here, I love this. Keep going. This is like a really good way to create marriages. So can we just like more, more of this? I like that a mere was like, do you consent? I was like, well, look at that.

And then he gets like a really hot. So everyone's turned on because, raw, the guys, gorge. So then, Jasmine's like, no, I love this. Let's keep it going. So many single people flirting with the idea of not being single. It's like my dream.

So then Summer dares pressed in to kiss Bria, so he gives her like a sexy like net kiss. And she's like, that's my weak spot. And Bria's like, it felt like you were eating pussy, which is this role. And then they're asking, they asked Presen if he's like bisexual or because Presen says he's had sex with a woman before and they ask, are you like bisexual? Okay, I say, okay. And then, and then press and dare, summer to kiss Alex. So, summer's like, I would kiss Alex,

but I'm gonna throw it in his court. The poetic court and he's like, you can give me a kiss. And so then she gives him like a little pack and he's like, you don't need personal space when you've got consent. I'm good with it. I'm deep.

Earth belongs to all of us. So the Alex, the Alex dares Jasmine to re-enact the sex sounds she makes every night with Sideless. And she's like, so she does it. And Sideless is like, oh God, I didn't know how thin these walls are. I don't like hearing any other guy hear my wife mum. Oh, bullshit, you don't.

That's why you do it. And fucking pound as hard as you can. Give me a fucking break. Silas, do your research. Last week, you was like, do you think these cameras can see us in the dark? It's like, Silas, like you don't understand how cameras and reality shows work in 2023 and how walls work. Okay, come on now. So now it's afterwards, it's after this game, this ridiculous game is done and Silas and

Jasiner and Bed and they're like about to have seconds, how is this like, okay, you have to be quiet. I'm not a controlling person that I demand that you be quiet and not make noise because I don't like this. So she doesn't. And then he make noise because I don't like this. So she doesn't. And then he's like, I can't do this. I mean, having sex with you and you don't make any sound and still turn off. I'm just like, I'm an idiot.

So then it's the morning. He's like angry at her, by the way. Why is he angry at her? He's like, I can't, I can't do this. I can't fucking silence. Is this what it is? The fucking silence? I can't do this.

Why you make me do this? I'm like, you're the one who, who, who, who, who demanded it. And now he's gonna be mad at the house. You know that he's gonna be angry at the house. And he's gonna be mad, he's gonna be mad at her that she can't like make noise quietly. And he's gonna be mad at the house for listening in when it's his own bullshit that he can't deal with. So Simon is on the way.

And then Jordan and Jordan is like, who loaded this dishwasher with all of the cups facing up? Who did that? And Preston's like, oh, you know that was a pre-early. You know, totally pre-ear. This is why they need to have Simon come for only three days, because that's three fewer days they have pre- Bria around fucking up broccoli and fucking up dishes.

Okay, let's be honest. So then we get split. Oh no, it's not yet. So Jasmine and Silas are getting ready and talking about Simon and she's like, you know, I'm kind of worried about Simon because if he's been told that we're attacking his woman, so she's going to come in, he's gonna be ready. And Silas is like, well, listen, if we want any sort of legitimacy,

we better enforce that vote. This is very important that we enforce that vote. What sort of small country are they trying to establish? Don't we want our legitimacy. Our legitimacy, we gotta be a little legitimate. We gotta be able to enforce our vote. All countries are only countries that able to enforce our vote. All countries are only countries that they can enforce their

laws. I don't want this going to the Supreme Court. We better make sure that our law stands. So then Priya has this stupid C3 pack backpack from I though, like a bubble back. Just leave the dog at home. The dog doesn't need to be in a bubble, taking in a backpack with you. You know, I know that you may need your dog, your dog does not need you. Let the dog go hump some of these arms.

Give him some break. Yeah, I cannot deal with this. So there's like a lunch, I kind of felt bad for Jason, because he's like, oh, he wants to get some lunch today. And everyone was like, no, sorry, I can do something else. I'm gonna go somewhere, I can cut my nails. But he just has Nick and Amir and they go off to have lunch

and everyone else is gonna go shopping. And no one knows where Briya is because she's out shopping for her special dinner, et cetera. It's just basically people doing stuff, essentially. So then there's like the guys at lunch at the Black Dog Tavern, the famous black dog tavern of Martha's vineyard They're sitting there and Alex is asking Jason what he's looking for in Life or the summer house or whatever and Jason's like well, you know

I have a three-month hold and that changed my perspective on how I approach your relationship And I got real shit going out in my life right now my approach of relationship and I got real shit going out in my life right now. So then it changes over to a mere Alex. It's like so mere, you know, I feel like you've made your intentions clear with Jordan and I don't feel like she's returning your feelings the way I'd like to see her return it, you know? I mean, if she doesn't, you're returned to feelings like, I like, is she willing and dealing? Is her energy going to spike? Do you know what I'm saying? Just try that one on. Just sit with that one for a while. Does she know the earth is for all of us?

I feel like she thinks some of the earth belongs to her. If she wouldn't doesn't give you a BJ, is she really a slash DJ? Can we all just think about that for a minute? Wow. That's going in the poetry book, okay. Where it is the sidewalk end. I'll tell you where it ends. In South Bend. Yes, nothing nailed it.

Nothing. So, Mir tells us, I'm interested in courtship and sugar on Lebanese food, but I'm not really feeling the same from Jordan, so I don't know what's going on. And then we get to Jordan in a store with Jasmine, and Jasmine's like, so what about you and a mirror? I might not be the only married one by the end of the week and my right, and she's like, um, that's a dead. That's not gonna happen. And she goes, no, come on. Listen It's not even about a mirror. It's just I want my friend to like I want her to like have what I know that she wants

And she runs like, oh, and what do I want? What do I want? And Jasmine's like you want a life partner a life partner Who tells you what to do who can't have sex and silence, who thinks that households are tiny, tiny governments. And Jasmine and Jordan's like, no, I don't think that person is here. Yeah. And she's like, but they come on. I want that for you and she goes,

but I have to want it, like you want it. And she goes, but it breaks my heart. She's like, why does it break your heart? Why is all of this defined on me being single? Like what is that after? She's like, I just don't want you to feel alone. Oh my God, you don't want to feel like you made the wrong choice which you clearly did.

You're fucking husband and asshole. All your friends know that he's an asshole. But you think if they get with somebody to and settle, then you'll all be settled together. I mean, it's weird. It's like, Jasmine's like, there can't be cities if there's only one settler. Please settle for COVID scraps like I did. Let's make a town out of this. Yeah, Jasmine wants to know like that she made the right decision in her life. And if Jordan also decides at her age to settle down and get married, then that way Jasmine knows that she didn't make the wrong decision. That I think that probably maybe she has some doubts about,

like maybe I did this too soon. I wasn't ready to be in a relationship and I did this because it felt like I should be doing this at this age and it's not crazy to get married at this age. Everyone gets married at this age, right? So Jordan's like, I don't think being alone is that bad. There's this idea that, oh my God, we're a 30 and we're just going to die if we're alone. And Jordan Chasm is like, actually, exactly. You're going to die if you're alone.

Alone? And sad. You'll be a sad ghost, a sad alone ghost. You know what? And Coco's never gonna sing to you. All right, you're an alone ghost. And she said, oh my God, well, I just want you to be happy like me, sorry. So they go to check out and Silas is up there and he goes, yeah, I think I'm gonna get this.

And she goes, are you really? And he's like, yeah. I'm gonna go, oh, there we go. You're really selling it, really selling it, jazz. So then everyone heads home from their respective day trips or whatever and I mean, who cares? I'm gonna skip some of this because this is, I'm like, my life's out of the bed.

Literally no one cares. It's all this. So now we go to Alex Cutting Amir's hair. He's giving him a little haircut. And he tells us that when he was a kid, his dad got laid off, so they couldn't go to the barber shop. So we had a learn how to cut hair. And you know, it wasn't always fun there.

And sometimes he felt like he would get a stare, but it's a way that without money, he could still show care. Go on the book. Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble. Go on the book. So do you go on the book? Can you get hand this over to my cousin to see if you want to turn it into a song? So I'm here.

It's like, yeah, there's something about the sound of glippers that puts me to sleep, which was funny because he doesn't fall asleep. And then Summer walks by and she looks like, she looks really cute and everything. And Alice is like, I like the old black. We got a catch up. And a mirror's like, you said you got a catch up. Oh my God, they're gonna be boning. Alex and Summer is in the tree.

K-I-S-S-S-I-N-G. Hey man, that's pretty cool, your PO2, huh? Nice. So then we get kind of a split scene going where Preston is in Jordan's bathroom while she gets ready and she's telling him about the conversation with Jasmine and like Jasmine's trying to force her into something and she thinks it's just weird.

And then Jasmine is telling Silas and Summer, like what the hell, she's acting like just because I'm trying to give her advice that I'm like being controlling because I'm in a couple and that's not fair to me. I'm like, oh god, so you're the victim. You're the victim because you're in a couple. She's like, yeah, I feel like everything that comes out

of my mouth is considered judgment because everything that comes out of your mouth is judgmental, ma'am. Yeah. Has no one gives a fuck if you're in a relationship? And Jordan's like, I understand that she's on cloud nine and found her person, but don't devalue all I've done and accomplished as if I'm not enough.

And Jasmine's like, I'm a slash DJ. I'm enough slash DJ. So, and so Jasmine is, she's just like, not sure where they've left off and everything. So, then meanwhile, out front, a sports car pulls pulls up like a really douchey sports car, which is most sports cars by the way. That's a Corvette, right? Well, you know my three round Corvettes.

They're the worst. What is that? They're like the My Lows of sports cars. They are, they're like trash sports cars. I'm sorry. And I've maintained this for many years because I've had people come up to me and say, my husband bought a Corvette and he loves this Corvette. And I'm like, I'm happy for your husband,

but I honestly feel like in the world of sports cars, Corvette's not like the worst sports car. But aren't those the chargers that you don't like? Like the Ford Mustang? Well, I don't like the charger or whatever those are. I feel like muscle cars, if you drive my theory, my longstanding theory is that if you drive a muscle car, if you drive my theory, my long standing theory, is that if you drive a muscle car, you are an asshole.

And if you are not an asshole, which is possible, then just know that people think you're an asshole and be okay with that because that's the only people that seem to drive those cars. I'm sorry to say. And so Corvette's sort of like the muscle car version of sports cars to me. I think Corvette's are just like, they're just like crappy. I'm sorry, I don't like them. That's my own time. Sorry, everyone.

Clearly just trying to project. He's very, very typical like new man on Bravo trying to project all this wealth that I'm not buying at all. No. Because I believe that people who are really wealthy do not show up in a rented corvette with $1,000 gifts for every single person in the house. Like that's just bullshit.

I don't believe it. This is not stealth wealth. He's a schister. No, huh? This is not stealth wealth, okay. No, and then when he's, every time we've seen him so far, he's been on the FaceTime within a little tiny white box backed up against something, a real wealthy person

would be sitting on his balcony overlooking the beach or whatever, you know? Like, yeah, he wouldn't be trying to hide something which it looks like he has been on these FaceTime calls. This guy comes in and he looks like, it looks like Bravo, Hard Rafe finds to play a board. It's like, okay, Rafe, we loved what you did for the menu. Okay, And the constant

gardener, perfect. Have you thought about playing the role of like a girl's boyfriend on Summer House on Bravo? We think this would work out really well for you. He's like, I would love to do that. I would love to. So Brie is really excited. So she runs out to get him. And Jasmine's like, well, we see what Brie has caused. And it's a ruckus. So if he Jasmine's like, well, we see what Briah has caused and it's a ruckus. So if he's anything like his girlfriend, oh, we're not gonna make it to dinner. I'll tell you that.

So she's obviously mispositive. So Briah was like, poppy chulo, oh my God, look at that car. So he's got like a cheesy jacket with like eyes on the back and glitter and all the, I mean, this guy is around the cuff. It's just like, it's those jackets. You see it a store. Every now and then, there's like a store in the Beverly

Center that has crazy jackets. You're like, who buys these? And it's this guy. Dude, this, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, in, everyone's hugging, and then Jasmine, the so fake goes up to him and goes, I'm a hugger, and how gzim, I'm here for crying out loud. I love hugging new people for three days. That's all you have. So then he's brought a really nice bottle of something,

of course, because he's like, sharing money. Is it? Is it classes? Is it like a top bottle of class A? I wonder if it's top bottle. It looked like it's, oh yeah, it's the gold edition according to my very quick Google search, gold edition, which is cost as retail for $289.99.

But it's not as big as the extra NAO, which is $2,000, And it's definitely not as good as the Guerrero Mascale, which is $500. And it's definitely not as good as the Reposato Plata and Gold bundle, which is $628. So, it looks like it could be the classic ultra, well, I guess that's black, right? So this would be the gold edition.

Yes, well, there is a gold, there's a huge gold that, oh, well, that's a bundle. Yeah, there's a bundle. There's $2,500. It looks like a pretty large bottle, I have to say. It's a nice bottle of tequila. It is a nice bottle of tequila. And Silas sees it. And and of course I was like, wow, this bottle, he's off to a great start. You are so full of it.

You are and making this whole voting thing that you can be so easily bought off, you really are like every story of a new mayor who's like, I'm just here to make changes. I just want everybody to be on the same level. And then the minute you see money, all your principles go out the way. It's like all the things change. Everything changes. Let me tell you something. If Silas ever runs for office anywhere,

people watch this episode. Watch this episode because this is what his principles mean. A bottle of class has to want to watch later on. So then Milo is wandering around the house whining because his master now has someone else that they like. He's freaking out, I think. Does anybody, is anybody going to love me? Who's going to hold me now? Does anybody have a bubble backpack that needs to be in it?

Because I'm nearest out. So he goes into next room room and Nick's just like, get out of here, Milo. I was like, cheese. I tell you, Nick. I'm not cool. I'm not cool. Not cool.

And now Simon changes into a tux, although Nick does alert us that it's not a tux. It's actually just a velvet smoking jack. And he goes, I'm trying to be politically correct, but come on. I was like, actually, please don't be politically correct about this. I don't know what it is.

That's politically incorrect about it, but. I know. What does that mean? I was like, was there something offensive happening? Yeah. I wanted to know, I wanted to know what that meant to you. I was like, huh? So then, Brienne Simon leave early to set up this place.

So they're going to this bistro. Wait, wait, wait, before they leave those Silas goes, hey, by the way, the entire house appreciates this bottle and appreciates you. Like, you don't get to speak the entire house Silas. You easily bought off person. Yeah, he's like, I took a vote on it. And I won because I'm automatic majority

because I'm married. So I would fuck this bottle quietly. That's how much I appreciate it. Ssshshshsh. So we got to the bistro and I'm sorry. Everybody gets there, right? And so immediately, I was like, I make toast. So I appreciate every one of you also wanted

to present you with special gifts. Briah, and there's a table filled with gifts. He literally bought everybody off. And for his like, well, since I never got Silas and Jasmine to get for their wedding, I have it here for you now, guys. So they get $800 watches. I'll get, they all get $100 watches,

except for Jasmine and Silas. We get $1200 watches because they're his and hers for Satchis. Everything else is like a Philip plane. Well, by the way, another thing I learned on watch what happens live is that Silas, I'm sorry, Simon's business unsurprisingly is that he's like a watch reseller.

So he was basically selling his products. You used. Yeah. So he was selling some use. He was bringing some used- ass watches from the store. We all had to know, right? Like we all had to know. And as Andy said, it still is very nice.

Still is a very nice gesture, but it also, the magnet for a gesture. The magnet for a gesture. The magnet for a gesture. The magnet for a gesture. You fucking weirdo. Oh, also what's with the watch guys on Bravo? Because, uh, Paris, girlfriend and Paris also had a guy who was a watch salesman.

Yeah, but you know he was like a real watch salesman because he definitely was not handing out leftovers from the shop. I'm here in poor Anya and Matthew were just trying to save up enough money to be able to share a single soup at Cafe American or whatever it was called. He's like, but I gave the watch away so I could offer you a lamb chop. And she's like, but I gave my fork away so I could offer you a watch.

It's like, don't, don't. I think if the magi hits Anja and match you, while she's trying to get her business off the ground, come on, bro, bring that show back. It's so good, even in the theoretical situations. So Silas is like oh my god you're gonna make me cry so they both Jasmine and Silas just sandwich Simon like they take him into a couple's hug and they are so excited it's like they've never had any you would think that these people have never seen a watch in their life. They're like something to tell the time. This is gonna change everything. Oh.

So Jasmine's like, she's like, I know, thank this is so sweet and sour. So it's like, Bria, I appreciate you. I appreciate you and he tells us, I think this is a wonderful piece offering. She's making peace and peace offering for bullshit that you started, by the way, you're the one supposed to start the piece offering.

It's your war. It is your fucking dick moves. Okay, you jerk. It's kind of such a joke. He's like Simon and Brea are putting in the effort. I'm like, they're not putting in the effort. They're just paying you off and you're too stupid to realize that.

And he literally smiles and goes, I want them to stay now. I was like, of course you do. He does do where you are the worst. I hope they can be a compliment to what we've got going on in the house. I think also they realize that their mission to make every, to a couple everyone up is failing

so they just want another couple so that way they can be in a couple majority. Right, well that's a good point too. So, Bri and those that she's won, right? She's like, no one's gonna complain after those gifts, right? So then, Silas is like, well, there's nothing weak. You know, I just like to say,

this is so nice to see you two together. And I'd like to add, there's nothing weak about being in a union and saying, this is my person Because that's two individuals trying their best to make it work. There's no playbook. There's no rule book God doesn't give you a book on relationships Actually, there are lots of books on relationships and you should probably fucking read one before you get left Also, but I mean this guy Simon just sat down and Silas is like what's your vision?

Where do you see B what's your vision? Where do you see Bria and your vision? How about you, like, you're stopping so fucking nosy. You literally just met this person and you're asking him for like a game plan for like their relationship. If this is like, you can get married like us. Because that's important. Relationships are important, right Simon? Like, this is some sort of like backdoor pilot for our YouTube series on relationships or whatever.

Some sort of book you're trying to do. Like really stop it because it's so obnoxious. It's so I would literally be mortified if I like invited like my boyfriend to a dinner and the person like he sits down and the person's like so where you guys going in your relationship. Like that is just I just think it's so tacky. And that Simon's doing it in this like, sermonizing way, in a way almost like with authority behind it. I'm just like, oh, shut the fuck up.

Yeah, and of course they have to make it all about themselves. It's like this guy just gave you a gift. He's having an intro dinner for himself. And you guys, the couple has to make it all about themselves. So Silas does that. And then Jasmine goes, yeah, because you know, it can also be really isolating to be in a couple in a group like this, you know. And Silas, Silas thinks it's a strength, but I'm struggling, guys. It's really not easy for me.

Jasmine, you were being an asshole to your friend in a store and she called you out on it and wouldn't take your bullshit and so now you're gonna be a fucking victim in front of everybody and try to make her look bad. You are such an asshole and so is Silas. You guys suck, man. Oh my God. Well, you know what's gonna happen is that the, that's the cliffhanger and Bravo is gonna try to make us think

that there's issues in the marriage and she's not gonna say it's, she's having a hard time being part of a couple because she doesn't have a voice or that Silas that's the cliffhanger and Bravo is gonna try to make us think that there's issues in the marriage. And she's not gonna say it's, she's having a hard time being part of a couple because she doesn't have a voice or that size controls her. She's gonna say, I have a hard time being part of a couple because I feel like everything I say, people just view it as me speaking on behalf of a couple, but I'm still my own person. And people think that just because I want them to be married off because their

life will be more fulfilled and better than the trash trajectories they're on right now, that that comes from judgment because I'm just because I'm in a couple. That's what she's going to be saying. Yeah, call that. All right, well, fun show. Love this one. Thanks everybody for being here. Run over to watch at Crappens.com for live show tickets for next week.

And also if you want the day that they are posted, go over to our Patreon, the crapins on demand level. Thanks for being here. And don't forget to like and subscribe. We're also on TikTok and Instagram, Twitter, all that good stuff. Find us over there. And feel free to read, comment down below. We'd love to read all your comments and see what you're all thinking,

what you're watching, what you're loving about the show, what you're hating, about the... Tell off. Tell off everything. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends, would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o. Dan-o-c. Dan-o-doo. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-os. Hava Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no less name-y. Sip some

scotch with Jessica Trotch. Kristen the Piston Anderson. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! You're never alone with Lacey Montellone. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. The incredible edible Matthewsisters.

Somebody get us 10 C's of Betzy MD. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Erica, 500 days of summer. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. We love him madly, it's Kyle Podd, Chadly. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.

My favorite Merto, Karen McMerto. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Can't have a meal without the Emily side. Let's get real with Caitlyn O'Neal. We want to hang with Liz Lang. Can't have a meal without the Emily side. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony.

Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wundry.com slash survey. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai.

And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wundry's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondry app. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday,

parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or

Wondering app. at the embroidery app.