Watch What Crappens - Summer House MV: The Dog Days of Summer House

Episode Date: May 9, 2023

Summer House: Martha's Vineyard is here, and it's SO good! The series premiere had everything we could want: thirst traps, self-involved people, and one very hairy dog.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious. Mr. Ronnie Karam, hi Ronnie, how's it going? Hi, Ben! Great, great. Everything's great. We're here having a great time enjoying my life and enjoying Bravo. Enjoying a new show to talk about.

That's for sure. So, a house Mothas Vinyard. Yeah, it's the season premiere of Summer House Mothas Vinyard, which caught me by surprise I had no idea this show was even in the works until the trailer dropped like a month ago So we're about to get into that just a not so subtle reminder that this Thursday We are doing a show in New York City at the town hall big show big audience talking real housewives of New Jersey It's gonna be hilarious. We have a great time We want all the people there and you know

We're very honored to be talking about New Jersey when there's gonna be plenty of We're gonna have a great time. We want all the people there, and you know, we're very honored to be talking about New Jersey, when there's plenty of New Jersey representation in the audience, right? We're in the tricet area. And then on Saturday, we go down to Washington, DC, where we'll be talking Vanderpump Rules to huge shows. Go to watchercrapins.com to get your tickets. You don't want to miss it.

It's a special time. And then in June, we have the sprint to the finish of our Cheetah brand tour. We start in San Diego. We go to St. Paul, Minnesota, then Chicago, Columbus, Boston, and we finish everything up at the Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut, our very first Casino show. So the grand finale, it's going to be wild. It'll be crazy. We're going to party.

So I've got to watch our crappas.com to get those tickets, please join us. If you miss it, you'll have to wait till next year. And of course, go to patreon.com slash watchrocrapins to get access to our bonus episode and a crap is on demand, we can watch us, not just listen to us, and there's discord. So that's all the fun stuff. Get the full crab its experience. And with that being said, let's dive into it. Hello, hello, hello, Hello, I'm Alex from the Alexi newsnet. What happened? What happened? I'm so excited on what this is. What is it? Breaking news and we just finished recording our real housewives of Atlanta recaps. So this is coming a little bit late, but Kim Zollsiaq has officially squeezed all of the money she can possibly squeeze out of Croix and is now filing for divorce.

Oh, according to TMZ, Kim Zollsiaac is pulling the plug on a marriage filing for divorce from Croix Beer man on the heels of the couple's financial struggles. Get out. I get. Wow. Wait, hold on. I have to go look at this. I am looking. 11 years together. Four kids together. Kim says she's filing because the marriage is irretrievably broken with no hope of reconciliation. is irretrievably broken with no hope of reconciliation. Oh, she also wants spousal support and to legally support her maiden name. Wow, they owe 1.1 million in unpaid taxes, interest and penalties from 23, 2017 and 2018.

They also owe the state of Georgia 15 grand for unpaid taxes from 2018 Wow their big house was auctioned off or heading to the auction block. This is not good But man, I I didn't see you're leaving him over that Let me tell you something there could never be more of a true phrase than Kim Zolciak owes interest. She does owe interest because we've paid, we've been way too interested in Kim Zolciak

and she owes it back to us, okay. But wow, you know, I guess when your football career dries up, you're not famous, you don't have the money anymore. It's time for Kim Zolciak to move on. Wow. Kim's gonna move on, I guess her religion didn't work out. Guess her. Remember when she was like,

oh, we're gonna have like a Bible. What was her? Guess her's to be all religious. Like some membership for religious shit. I was like, yes, Kim, we're all coming to you for your Jesus advice. You fucking tool. Well, she's gonna be on that land to the season, right?

I think she pops up in the trailer. So this is what's gonna happen. Crois can be gone, old name back, redemption tour. She, I'm not racist, that just it was Crois influence. She reunited with her mom, storyline, next season on Atlanta, cast member, she returns. That's the trajectory for me that I see. Do you hear that noise?

Now what is it? Oh vacuuming. So sorry. Oh, here, cleaning vacuuming. I swear that's just not the inner workings of Kim's Oliak's mind. It's just the rest of that Wells Fargo account being sucked out by the Zolciak's. The Zolciak girls. Wow. Okay. So news right

out that's wow, right out the gates. It was. Is it weird that I feel bad for Kroy? Feel weird. I feel bad for him. I don't feel bad for Kroy. You don't? I do. I feel like he's probably like, but I thought this was real love stupid Okay, so let's move on we have been given a gift by the Bravo gods and that is summer house Martha's vineyard Yeah, Martha this is great. I really enjoyed this premiere to me this gave me had the energy of the original summer house Premiere which had just like a lot of people in a house that didn't know any of them, but they all seem to like bounce off each other in interesting ways.

So I was like very into it. Yeah, I really liked it too. It's interesting, you know, you just naturally drop parallels to the other summer house because it's a spinoff, it's a summer house. And they have the kind of a lead lady and this one is Jasmine and She's kind of got that Monica from friends energy

I think that Lindsay has where she's just real anal and like trying to be in charge of everything and trying to kind of Even though Lindsay didn't have that energy necessarily her first season. I think it took her a season to get more comfortable But there are like there are things like that that I don't trust Jasmine's relationship. I mean, it doesn't seem like the strongest relationship, but also I'm like, this is summer house and this is going to go down in flames. The couple that starts like, the Lindsey couple that starts like this, not good. Like literally, like, there's another ever type in there. And you know, you do have all the archetypes. You have the controlling type, like they're the one that the sort of the more uptight one, the archetypes. You have the controlling type, like the one that's more upside one, which is Jasmine.

You have the controlling man, which is Silas, her husband. You have military, military. Yeah, you've got the hot girl, which is Jasmine. You've got the bippy-bop, which is Bria. You've got the fuckboy, which is a mirror. You have the fuckboy who pretends to be actually really earthy and soulful, which is Alex. Hilarious.

You have the cool girl, which is Mariah. And you got, I saw the dork, which is Nick. And then you've got the token gay. Who is press? And the token gay. Who is pressed for it? And the token gay. Yeah. So it's like literally like perfect casting. Yeah, it's pretty good.

All right, so let's jump into it. Well, I have a question. Did we meet Jordan? Did Jordan come to the crappies last year? I don't know. I feel like she did. I feel like we met Jordan. I feel like I would remember, I mean, my god.

Yeah. She's a stunner. She was gorgeous. And I just remember, I seem to remember meeting someone named Jordan who was in Playboy at the crappies. And I was with Luke. I think that Luke brought her. But I couldn't be wrong.

I don't want to start a beautiful. I don't want to start a gossip and I couldn't find any photos. But I thought, so I mentioned this only to start a beautiful, I don't want to start gossip and I couldn't find any photos, but I thought so I mentioned this only To play the name game and nothing more than nothing more than that Well, you can't do that with me because you know, I don't remember shit I don't know what I had for dinner last night my brain does my brain is like a DVR that's constantly rewriting itself So I don't I don't remember anything ever so good to meet you There's nothing more to that story than that. I was just curious if that was the same person So I don't remember anything ever. So good to meet you.

There's nothing more to that story than that. I was just curious if that was the same person. So we're seeing everybody getting to the vineyard, okay? So we see a girl rushing to a plane, we see a guy taking a selfie, and he's like Martha, I know you've been waiting for me on the way to the vineyard, and then we see who we find out later as Nick

with the glasses, and he's like, I'm on the way to the vineyard. And then we see who we find out later as Nick with the glasses and he's like, I'm on the way to the vineyard. I'm on a plane, cheers doing his insta posts. And then the gay, who you know immediately is the gay, even though he's very masculine, he's not like, I don't know why we know is the gay. I think because he's in the Kyle Richards felt hat. So I was like, there is the gay. Yeah, the, the, I just, well, I could sense like a certain quality of his judgy-ness that

felt distinctly of our community. So I was like, he's one of us. Yeah, he's like, you're about to see the smallest plane in life. So pray for all of us. He's like, yes, that is very gay to say. And then yeah, cause in this first part, I was just doing like, I was like, cute guy, gay, glasses. So, cute guy who I think is probably a mirror, is like Martha's Vineyard, I'm landed, I'm here,

and we see it's day one of 15. So, it looks like it's gonna be kind of like the winterhouse template of shooting a show, you know, cram them all in for 15 days and see what happens. Well, you can't just get on an oftest island. This isn't like like get off work, take the Long Island Railroad, it's not like jumping in Uber, right?

You have to work, it's explained to us that you have to take a plane or a helicopter or a ferry. Yeah, a ferry to get here. So stay one of 15, also it's like a trial probably. And Jasmine, it says Jasmine screenwriter and I was like yeah oh it's aspiring like I don't know you so opening a bottle of wine dramatically and she tells us I'm Mrs. Cooper newly

recently I literally just got married three months ago. It is definitely something we're attesting to It's our first time coming back as a married couple and already Jasmine Nobody cares. Literally everybody is married Shut the fuck up. We've never seen you on this show before and we don't care that you're coming back in another season Married nobody cares. You already got your gifts So be happy with your goddamn gifts and your week of parties that you forced all of your gays to go to and contribute to Even though you're never gonna pay most of us back for that, okay? Please stop acting like there was a season of summer house Martha's been in before this that you have to catch us up on

There was no season your marriage. I know. It's not a novelty Jazz made us like had the run of tears in her own mind, you know, I think we're yes She's we're on we're actually in the Frazier section of her cheer's timeline. But like Jasmine, we're actually very fortunate because God, if this were the season where she was getting married, oh, be in a taller bowl, the wedding showers,

the batch of our parties, although I would not be surprised if she pulled some bullshit like, well, since we got married during COVID, we didn't get to have like the wedding we wanted. So we're gonna have a do over a kind of wedding. I would not be surprised if she milks her marriage for do over events all season long. I wouldn't be surprised either. She's gonna get some free shit out of this. Yeah. So her husband is Silas and he's like, this is the place where she became my girl.

So it's great to be back here. She's like, oh my God, I'm blessing. And then they cast because they're doing the confessional together. I wonder if she married him for a sparkling personality. Oh my God. She goes, he goes, did I mess up your lips? Did you mess up my lips? I was like, oh, no, this is doomed.

So they go to the stooped. Yes, they're like now walking around this enormous house, by the way, enormous, but it's enormous because they probably have to put all the production in there too. And they go to the backyard and she's like, this is what the ancestors wanted. And they're checking out the pool house and Silas is like, when I visited Martha's Vineyard for the first time, I was a college student and probably 50 bucks in my pocket and I rented a hotel room with three or four guys and it was the struggle bus, but we made it work.

What I'm trying to say is, we did a lot of porn, a lot of web game stuff. We made a lot of jerk off-ids, a lot of jerk off-ids. So there's a caterer coming, which is very exciting, and Preston comes in, the gay, the gay tourney, and he's yelling and hugging, and we find out that Silas impressed in our line brothers, which means they're frat brothers, and I was like, oh god, here we go. And then of course, sorry Ben, and of course they run right up into each other and they do a secret fraternity handshake, and it's so secret that they do it into Each other stomachs so like the cameras can't see it. Yeah, it's like guys kidding me with that like what is this handshake open like a vault to your jack-off videos?

What is this open? It might I had a secret handshake in my frat Did you fight it from other people so they couldn't see your secret handshake? I don't know, but I know that my SIGUP experience is definitely not the same as the Alpha-Fi Alpha experience. That's for sure. I feel like you shouldn't have any kind of secret handshake and fraternities because fraternities, according to the internet, it's like where everybody jerks off all the time. I don't know, fist bump, hugs.

Well, I was not part of any mass for fraternity jerking off sessions. I didn't get to see or hear what missing of those. I have heard that that has happened in other fraternities. But that being said, I do want to go back to something happened right before Preston came in, which is that Jasmine finds a like two glasses like that beverages in them and she holds them up and she's like, babe Why do you always do this? I never know which drink is mine and he's like, doesn't matter babe She goes, I guess it doesn't. I literally have your last name now. I'm like, whoo.

This is gonna be hard. She's gonna be a tough one. All season long with this. This is gonna be rough. And my first thought was like, why is she so shocked that she's married, you know? She seems like she's at the end of her own pretty woman. She seems like she's at the end of her own pretty woman. And then we find out that she's not a hooker at all.

She's a playboy model, which is not, you know, I don't know what I'm saying about it. We find out everybody on the show is a playboy model, actually. Like four of the ladies who are going to be on the show are playboy models. And I was like, oh, so I guess once you find a decent man, listen, when you're working at the Playboy mansion, you're not really meeting the most decent man. So I think what you do find one that you're like, oh my God, look, he's in the reserves. And he's actually nice to me. And he didn't throw a 20 at my head and, you know, like, try and make me do something

to great, yeah, you know, to grade me in some way, I'm marrying that man. And then you get excited and then I got excited for her. And then she advertises in any possible way that she's married, even if it includes the fact that they can drink from the same cup, which by the way they could have also done even if she didn't share his last name. Just want to point that out. That is the way that drinking from cups works does not care about your last name so then

press and is saying that yeah he thinks like silas is a great friend and but they had a rocky relationship at the beginning which tells us what we need to know which is that silence all the jerk off video and was like hey I know you oh wait no I only saw your content and then it was awkward this is what we find out silas is an asshole the jerk off video and was like, hey, I know you. Oh, wait, no, I only saw your content and then it was awkward. This is what we find out. Silas is an asshole and Preston was like, no, not first. He was like, hell no, I'm not gonna put up with this guy's bullshit but because Preston like has some sensitivity, he ended up getting close to Silas. Now, that was my theory but then throughout the episode I was like, well, Silas isn't an asshole. So where does that come from?

theory but then throughout the episode I was like well Silas isn't an asshole so where does that come from? Okay, so then Silas is like wow, you know since the wedding it's just been coming and going you know it is like oh god him too Yeah, it's pretty good. You're never gonna shut the fuck up about this webbing and then Jasmine walks through and says oh Are you guys talking about me? Yes, his life has changed forever now because we're married. Huh continue so then and says, oh, are you guys talking about me? Yes, his life has changed forever now, because we're married, ha, continue. So then another car pulls up, but it's not a cast member, it's the caterer. So I'm glad we took some time to observe that. And then Preston felt like he was in World War,

he was talking about how he was on his tiny plane. He's like, I felt like I was in World War I. I thought I was gonna be shot down over Germany. So now Brea arrives. And Brea has brought an unexpected dog. She has a dog named Milo, and she has arrived with it. She has a fashion entrepreneurial pigny with this tiny dog, and she just wants like,

oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that a dog and is it married? Because no one told me about a married dog. So, and because this is my low, and you can see jasmine is pissed. Yes. And she's like, so what's going on? She's, this is baby my low. So, jasmine's like, well, all of us walked in here with two legs and Milo walked in with four legs

So I don't think that was gonna go past that's without addressing the pause in the room What's up, and so then Priya does Priya probably listen. I'm a person with a dog so I am not Above doing this okay To get on a plane because how the hell else are you gonna get your dog across the country, okay? You can't put them on a bus. Like how else are you gonna do it?

In the summer, in Texas heat, okay? So I'm not above saying this is my ESA animal. I got the letter from the doctor and everything. To my friends, I'm not gonna pull that shit. Who shows up with a dog on vacation and says this is my ESA animal. A hairy, ratty dog. By the way, I just want to point out Milo is a stupid dog.

Milo is one of those dogs you see and you say, that's a stupid dog. I'm sorry. Milo is like a weiner dog and I love a weiner dog. I think they're cute, but he's like a long haired weiner dog. So he's like kind of ratty looking. He literally looks like you should attach a pole to him and just sweep things up. You're a horrible human being.

Know that dog does not look ratty. It's a beautiful, very fancy dog. That is a fancy, long-haired dog. And it's a fancy ratty, long-haired dog. Something's a ratty kind of a dog. You know what? I'm not going to be bullied by like dog people. I've decided. You know what? Like I not gonna be bullied by like dog people. I've decided, you know what, like I like dogs.

You're the bully. You are literally, Bob Barker is rolling over in his grave. This is a preemptive, this is a preemptive, not gonna be bullied statement. But why isn't heaven flipping you off right now? So let's have a look. Because all the dog people just automatically,

it's like God forbid, you say that a dog is stupid looking, we're ready, like God forbid, like all the dogs have to be beautiful at all times. God forbid you say anything negative about a dog. Let me tell you something, is a stupid dog. It is modest, stupid dog. It's a stupid dog. It's us and I reserve the right to change my mind,

but I'm just right now initial impressions, flash judgment, stupid dog. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty, and now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you gotta keep the overall cost down. And thankfully, there's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs and that is Zippercrooter. From pricing to technology, everything that Zippercrooter does is for you and what works best

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that zippercrooter.com slash crappins. Again, that zippercrooter.com slash C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S. ZipperCrooter, the smartest way to hire. I'm going to say something scandalous, Ronnie. Go on, planants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef.

Exactly. Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what? We can use impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer

for impossible foods. Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving, and it's better for the planet. And it's meat. Plant meat. Correct. So if you're looking for something to grab

for your grill, grab some impossible beef. Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today. Just head over to the meat Isle at your local grocery store grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling I Will say this emotional support animals should not look terrified. I feel like this dog needs emotional support dog I feel like it maybe is a little bit scattered Emotionally, so that's what I'll say about it.

It's like going to a shrink that's always crying. Like, why are you going to that shrink? This dog is also hiding under the bed. And I feel like this dog needs the emotional support. I think that actually, when she says, this is an emotional support animal, she means like, this is an animal I have to emotionally support right now because it is terrified of me. Yes, and she's like they help with anxiety and depression. I'm like well what helps

so much anxiety and depression because that that dog has to be your dog and that can't be easy because Brea already seems like the biggest pain in the ass, you know. If bringing a dog unannounced, I mean hell no, I think that's a dog She's like that's so uncool to bring a dog unannounced. I actually really think it's not cool at all any pet any pet unannounced is not appropriate but Also if you have anxiety to the point that you need an emotional support animal just I don't want to be on vacation with you Why are you yeah? Why are you on a reality TV show? I'm not going and drinking margaritas

for two weeks straight with somebody with their ESA animal, okay? Because then you're gonna get drunk or I'm gonna give you like a microdose and then before you know it, everything's gonna turn to shit, okay? Don't come on vacation. Yeah, and don't bring a stupid dog.

So, suppressant is like. By the way, she goes, they help with anxiety and depression and then it just cuts to the dog, looking terrified, staring straight into the camera. Like you fucking kidding me with this? Dogs, like I was told I was going to a lovely little park in the neighborhood. Now I'm here.

So, so, so, justments like, okay, we can do that. Okay, because you can't argue with emotional support animal, which is why Brea is saying it. You can't, like, people are gonna get mad at me for saying, if you have anxiety, if you have an emotional support animal, I'm not gonna go on vacation with you. It doesn't mean I can't deal with depression. It means, you stop that. Oh, look, speaking of, listen, let's see, it just went off. the other's not liking this conversation. It doesn't mean I don't want to go on vacation with people with anxiety and depression.

It means I don't want to go on vacation with people who have to have their dog with them during margarita. Like I can't enjoy myself with you. So the dog looks terrified and Jasmine cannot argue with this because that's like a guard. Like you can't say, you can't say. No, it's a emotional support animal, okay? Yeah.

So Preston tells us he's like, Brea reminds me of someone who literally spent two hours preparing for Miss USA and just didn't quite make it. Which seems like a pretty app description of her. So, just so rude, but he's like, she's a lot. She's, he goes, it was a lot to just see. I mean, it was a lot.

Just this year. So, so Jasmine is so furious. She's like, okay, well Milo, you and Mommy come, you know, come with me to find a room, okay, I'm totally not raging on the inside. this was supposed to be my vacation of being a married woman and no other competition for affection, okay? So then she tells us that Briah used to work with her and they were proud playboy bunnies and we see pictures and of course they're stunning I don't think you can be a playboy bunny and not be sunny and I don't think you can be a playboy bunny and not be sunny. And she tells us that she not only met Bria,

but she also met Shines and Jordan who were also coming this summer. So it's gonna be four playboy buddies. And she's like, you know, I hit it off with Jordan and Shines, but not really Bria. I mean, we weren't really as close, but when Shines said to invite her, I was like, okay, all invite her.

I was like, so, Bria and Shines hate was like, so, pre-instead Shini's hate you. But you don't know that Shini's hates you. Because Shini's only told you the stuff that Bridea told you, or told her about you. That's what I'm predicting. Right. So Jasmine also is very eager to set everyone up because she wants to be like, I'm married.

And now you guys have to be married too. So that way you guys don't all go out and have fun. And while I stay at home with Silas, he doesn't want me to leave the room after 8 p.m. So she's like, so we're, she's already talking about like, guys for Brea and Brea's like, oh yeah, I'm like, I'm probably gonna be the next one to get married. And Jasmine's like, what are you talking about?

Like, I'm trying to keep you the scoop on all the guys. Like clearly, there's like hot guys that you're gonna get married to in here. And then we'll be all married and totally happy together in a married state, right? like, I'm trying to keep you to scoop on all the guys. Like clearly there's like hot guys that you're gonna get married to in here. And then we'll be all married and totally happy together in a married state, right? She's like, and she's also, she's also one of those people who,

this is how she puts value on people. She is, there's a guy named Alex, he's tall, and handsome. And then there's a guy named Amir, and he's tall. I was like, oh God, she's one of those. We're all that matters as a guy's fucking high. Can short guys catch a fucking break on these shows? My God.

Short Kings. So then Bria's like, well, I actually met a guy at the Cannes Film Festival. It's been five months and it's just been like wonderful. Funny stories. So I went out there because I thought it was a festival all about recycling. Turns out it's about film and I met this guy, and it's just my friend.

I really wanted to talk about all the different kinds of beans that you can keep fresh if they're just sealed properly in aluminum. So she's like, my new boyfriend now, Simon is German. And he lives in Munich. And I want you to celebrate your birthday here. And I'm going to, I guess I'm going to Germany. And are there any black people there? know, he's like, I want you to celebrate your birthday here and like, I'm gonna like, I guess I'm like going to Germany and like, are there any black people there?

Like, what's going on? I guess, I guess I'll go, okay, cool. Like, sounds good. Emberieber tends to be supportive. She goes, oh, you're with him five months? Well, I mean, I got engaged to my husband who I'm married to now, married life, right. And we only knew each other for six months,

so I totally got it. I totally got it. Are you guys mixing up your cocktails yet, but then not caring, because you're like in a committed relationship? No, not yet. Oh, that's something to look forward to. So she pretends she's supportive, but she tells us that she knows Priya and it's always a different guy with Priya. And to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if in like six months, she's going to be like

a Simon Who. And so then we go to the kitchen and Preston is like, Nick is coming too. I hear he's a Kappa. Dun dun dun. Big rivalry between Kappa's and the Alphas. So, and then Jasmine's best friend Mariah's coming and then Jordan's coming and Chinesis coming. We keep on hearing that Jordan and Chinese are coming. This is

really amped up. Now Jordan's on route and she's calling Shanice and she's like Jordan's really dreading seeing a lot of the people being around a lot of people in one space and she thinks the guys are all gonna be like wild cards and then I think Shanice says she might sleep with somebody but she doesn't know she's

due for some penis but maybe Jordan said that. I don't know. No she means that names oh Shan Jordan said that. I don't know. No, Shini said that. I thought she got names. Oh, Shini said that. Yeah, Shini's also Jordan, it says model and DJ. Like, okay. So then she's like, well, when we did Martha's Vineyard last summer, Silas and Jasmine were engaged,

and now they're married, and so our entire dynamic is going to be different because I'm trying to have a good time. My good cousin, sister Jasmine, can be a little Betty Crockerish sometimes. And so she's like, I know what she's doing right now. She's making bouquets of roses and putting little gifts on everybody's bed.

Which is basically true. That is just. That is just totally doing that. Jasmine's like, if you sprinkle, when you tinkle, please be a sweetie and wipe the CD. Okay, don't forget to pray. Love lives here.

So, now everyone's toasting in the kitchen in they're doing shots and mugs, which I really like. I felt like that was a very real moment. And so now here come Nick and Alex. Nick is a sports brand manager slash stylist. Interesting duo. And then me and Alex Nick is a sports brand manager slash stylist. Interesting duo. And then me and Alex,

that's interesting, that's an interesting crossover. As a crossover, we on Atlanta, we talked about multi-hyphenates that we don't trust. And that one, it's not that I don't trust that one, I just don't understand that one. And then Alex is an advertising creative director, so he has no hyphenates. He's just an advertising creative director, so he has no Heifniz, he's just an advertising creative director.

Yeah. Both handsome, of course, because they're on TV. So yeah. So then Alex. Or Nick is like, well, I first met Jasmine, you know, it was a black creative in Brooklyn. And Nick is my fraternity brother. I love that. I'm going to start saying that.

You know, I met my friend Christine as a creative in Brooklyn. You know, just us creatives in Brooklyn. That's how we met. I used to live in Brooklyn. I can pull that off. I used to just say, we used to meet and we met in a pasta factory.

Because that's where we lived. You know what, I was in Brooklyn and I was in a wee work and I met her and I was like, we do work. We work. We work. So yeah, just two creatives in Brooklyn, just becoming friends. Sure. Yeah.

And Preston's like, I'm Nick and Alex look like Kappas because they're Kappas. Oh. Oh. Oh. I was like, oh my god, a frat boy in a Kyle Richard tat. Preston, I'm trying to like you, but you're pushing my buttons. You're pushing every button I have right now.

And Alex is like, I respect all frats. I respect them all, but Kappa's, I mean, we're the penthouse, no debate, no discussion. And then of course, Silas is like, Alphas, we're the first black fraternity, so on Father's Day, Preston and I expect cards from Nick and Alex. We expect that.

It's like, okay. So then, I expect all four of you to shut up about your fraternity because you don't want to ask him, except before of you, okay? Keep that shit in private, like most fraternity boys do on the internet. Thank you.

So Alex is saying he's not a drinker, but because he tries to be intentional about what he consumes. And Aaron, it just said something about the word intentional. And now it's because people say that. I'm doing things to be intentional. Like I'm trying to be intentional about what I consume I vegan ain't no pork on my fork a glass of wine every blue moon We can do that, but I just feel better when I'm not drinking. I just Okay, listen Listen if someone doesn't want to drink they did that's not what they want their body That's fine, but I just love someone being like I'm just trying to be intentional about what goes in my body

And then does like thirst trap videos later like I love the idea of like, I'm just trying to be intentional about what goes in my body and then does like, thirst trap videos later. Like, I love the idea of like, presenting yourself as this like, someone who cares about something deeper and more meaningful and cares about a holistic experience but then doing like, thirst trap videos on the lawn the next day, you know? Right, because it's like not being intentional because it's really helping you. It's doing it for your brand on Instagram.

Like, look, it's me. It's intentional Alex Like you don't need to make a monologue about not drinking, you know what I mean, but let me say hey to side Let me push the hey to side That is what drinking not drinking has done to his skin because that skin that man glows like a night light I mean he is it's gorgeous. I because that skin that man glows like a night light. I mean he is Gorgeous. I saw that skin and I was like how? When and where tell me everything about what you do. I want every single detail sir So meanwhile Nick he's he chooses a room that has a big closet because

His wardrobe is the most he's like my wardrobe is the most extensive so Jasmine here's it and she's like oh my god How do you know for a fact that your wardrobe is the most expensive. He's like, my wardrobe is the most extensive. So Jasmine hears it and she's like, oh my God, how do you know for a fact that your wardrobe is the most expensive? So she's winds up being angry for several hours because she hears expensive instead of extensive, which is hilarious. And then it shows a video of 12 hours ago when Nick is packing to come here and he's got all these clothes laid out on his bed. And he's like, I've got trousers and every colors, suits, tuxedos. I was raised by a single mother. So when she went shopping, we went shopping.

And I got my love for fashion at a very young age. I have enough clothes that will last me at the duration of this trip and I will never wear the same thing again. Nick, sounds pretty intentional. That's intentional. No, that's intentional. No, that pretty intentional. That's intentional. That is intentional.

Mick, I will tell you, I'm going to wear the same thing probably in every video that we do this week, and we're doing six of them. So I don't get you. And I don't support you, but hugs, long distance hugs, congrats on your multi-colored pants So now an SUV shows up and Now this is a mirror who's arriving a mirrors up We've already had several like cute guys and now we have a mirror who's super cute and He's like I'm from the great state of Austin. I mean late Austin isn't a state

I'm from the great state of Texas in Austin, and then he does like his smile. Like, he's got this adorable smile, and I was like, this guy, this is how he does it. It's so hot. I cannot take out hot. This fucking guy is. Late in the fucking boy, right?

Yeah, obviously, yeah. But you know, I like when people are hot. Well, of course they know they're hot because literally everybody's nice to hot people. You know, stores and stuff. I mean, I think they know they're hot. But I like when they pretend that they don't know they're hot. Like it's surprising. Like if someone says, oh, you're handsome, they're like, what? Come on! That's what I like. I was ugly in middle school. I had a bad day.

I was bullied here day once. I love a good pretend bullied story. You know, like I was bullied once and now look at me. It's like you can do it to ugly person. And it turns out he's not that person. But for right now, he could be that person. So I'm like, oh my God, he's so cute. And then I hear he's half Lebanese, which of course I'm Lebanese.

You know, I'm half Lebanese and I was like, oh my God, he's so cute. And then I hear he's half Lebanese, which of course, I'm Lebanese. You know, I'm half Lebanese and I was like, oh my God. And he looks in your neighborhood sort of. He's an Austin. Yeah, he's an Austin. So of course, make your move. Yeah, I'm sure I totally have a chance. You never know.

I think when he's like, oh my God, Chubby Bravo podcaster, who's gay? Totally what I've rated for. I get a hundred DMs a day, but this is the one. This is the one. And that it's not only that he's half Lebanese, but he was raised by his Lebanese side. So he's like, he's like, I mean, he's really

in the Lebanese part of it. No, it's exciting. So, I mean, we'll see when he cooks. That's the kind of Lebanese, because it can No, it's exciting. So, I mean, we'll see what he cooks. That's the kind of leavening, because it can go a lot of ways. I don't want to see what you can, what you can cut. So then Milo is a dog with some taste,

because it immediately runs up to this guy just starts looking his whole face, just like I'm sure all of us wanted to. Yeah, and so then now another car arrives and Jordan. Like we're friends, oh my God, you're a model DJ. I can tell because you're wearing kind of like a baggy pants. This is so exciting, I'm so glad you're here. Oh my God, I hope we get to hook you up with somebody.

There's so many single people and they're so tall. Yeah, so then they hug and then Silas is like, Jordan is a really great friend to Jasmine and she's really smart and she's really witty She just so happens to also be the party friend and Jasmine is a married woman now She drinks out of glasses. She's not sure her but it doesn't matter because we have the same last name So uh, it's gonna miss you Yeah, you're kind of dead to me when you say things like that. This is when I was already like, okay, Silas,

I hope she leaves you. I hope she cheats on you and then leaves you. Okay, publicly, on television. I hope you talk to your, I hope you're the party friend, the party of one friend. Yeah. Oh. So this is,

I'm sorry, was that a little too harsh? I can go back to talking to that Milo. I just said I hope he gets publicly humiliated and dumped on national TV, so I think you're good. So there's a gym and a room with two tiny beds behind curtains and a queen bed in it. I guess that's the overflow room, like whoever gets their last spot as usual.

Yep, and then the guys, then they got, yeah, they're looking at that. And then there's also like a gym. So the guys are excited about that. And Jordan's walking around and she's like, oh, cool. Well, the gym is gymming. Room's are nice. And then she meets a mirror. And it like slows down. And the music's all like, ah, like beautiful women meets beautiful man. Yeah, literally. They look at each other and just start laughing, because that's what happens when people

that beautiful see each other, they're like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, somebody as beautiful as me. Thank God. Someone who gets it. What's your bullying story?

No you. You virus. What's yours? So, Amir says that it's talking about how Jordan is just like so stunning, and he was introduced to her in a group chat. So he's like, obviously I did my research.

And she talks about how after college she posed for Playboy and she was the fourth black playmate of the year. And Emir is just like giggling because he's like the moment I saw her smile, I knew this was going to be bad. Yeah. And then the next arrival is Mariah, who is a nervous slash screenwriter. Now this is the first hyphenate that I buy.

Yes. This is, see, this is not an asshole of a person. Yes, this is not an asshole of a person. This is like, this is what I'm doing and this is what I'm doing for my other hustle. You know, this is my hustle for my real hustle. Mariah, I love. Like Mariah is gonna be my hero on this show.

Like she's gonna be the one. Like I think they're all gonna be assholes and Mariah is gonna be the one that I just like latch onto and she will guide us through. So she tells us that she met Jasmine her first year in college and she was in an arm cast and Jasmine just ran up and like was like hey and smacked her hand cast as a high five and she's like and I

wanted to beat that bitch immediately but then we became friends so I know her Silas Preston and Jordan so my strategy for dealing with everybody else don't start nothing won't be nothing. So then she gets a little tour. And then we go to the pool room, not swimming pool, but playing pool with Nick, Alex and Amir. And Nick is trying really hard to look at it pool and he can't hit it properly.

Not the pool queue. He's in sports management, not sports playing. So you guys, he's in sports management. And he has a lot of different colored trousers. So kind of a break. Yeah. So Amir is basically asking everyone like, like, Hey, so anyone who's interested in what, whatever, and his base next, like, I don't know, I'm going to sort of like

hold off before I say anything. And Amir is kind of like, well, uh we're gonna do the whole, uh, you know, bros called dibs first thing, which I guess we're doing, because they just said we're gonna do it. Um, I'm gonna put dibs on Jordan. Okay, great guys. Great talk. Great talk. You don't get to put dibs on people. What the fuck? Okay, I'm starting to get mad. And this is the summer house, but I hate when they do this, but we'll get to it. I have to like pace myself out. So the producer is asking Alex if a mere even has a chance with Jordan, and he just laughs, and then sips his green tea, because that's what intentional people do.

I'm not going to say anything negative, because I'm not drinking right now, and I'm going to intentionally drink this grantey. Yeah, so then Then Jasmine goes up to Nick and she's like mad at him still that he said that he had the most expensive wardrobe And he's like no, I said extensive wardrobe because oh I Apologize you know marriage brain. It's a real thing. What can I say? real thing, what can I say? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season two, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the right is room on Max,

or wherever you get your podcasts. So then Preston is noticing this energy between Jordan and Amir, because that's what we do, we're gays. And he's like, you know, it's cute, I guess, you know? He's like, well, I'm not gonna stir any drama,

but if I need to, I have a big ol' spoon in my hand. And right away, he's doing this confessional from what's called the truth booth. Yeah, the truth booth. Trying to, after 30 years, trying to put a new spin on the confessional. So then Nick, meanwhile, he has, Nick has eyes for Jordan too.

And he's saying that like, you, like, if I pursue a woman, she will know it, she will feel the energy that I'm reverberating to her, she's gonna feel it. And then Jordan's like, Nick. He just lit into my DMs, I had to put him on a restrict. I was tired of the heart eyes, and I was tired of the fire signs were responding to my stories, and I just think he's whack.

Yeah, the way he said it, like you'll notice if I like you, you're gonna feel that energy reverberating right in to you. It's like that's called harassment, sir. Okay. So then we see her stories that she's referring to. And this is the kind of person that makes me crazy because she's posting to. And this is the kind of person that makes me crazy because she's posting all these gorgeous. Her whole timeline is like model poses

where she's like in a bikini crop top and short shorts like squatting and giving sexy poses. And then guys like sending her hearts and she's like, oh my god, I get it, I'm hot. Why aren't you asking me what kind of book time reading? I'll be like, then do you have a fucking story from a library? Like, my god, that's like a mirror. Because you know a mirror is the same way.

He's posting like shirtless, exalt this shit. Like, we know, you know what you're doing. Stop acting like everybody's supposed to treat you like something else. That's literally like what you're putting out there for us. Yeah, it's like classic thirst trap thing. When a thirst trap doesn't really want to admit to being a thirst trap, it's like, I'm just being me.

I'm just doing this because I'm expressing my body. I'm expressing myself. It's like the sound which getting annoyed that I ordered it off the menu. Yeah, Jordan is very much all about, like she's like, I mean, I know, I'm like hot. I know I'm like devastatingly beautiful, but like, ask me a question about me,

which by the way, is a fair request, but it's just, it's funny when hot people do that. It's just always very, very funny when people, it's just like, Alex talking about it being intentional and then pushing those traps, you know? Well, it's also really annoying because she's someone who's like, I'm hot, I get it. What else you want to talk about? I'm like, okay, you are hot. I'm not going to take that away from you or say something like, well, you're not that hot because you are that hot. Gross that you say shit like that, you know, pretend that you're not that hot because when you say things like, I know I'm hot. Like, I get it. All I can wish for you is age. I just want to, every time someone acts like this, I wanna follow them on Instagram and just get pleasure out of every day watching you age

slightly more because I know how much it's hurting your brand, okay? Yeah, that being said, Nick, like if you've sent a heart and a fire emoji and like what like eggplants or whatever, like 45 times in a row. Yes. Or 10 timesplants or whatever, like 45 times in a row. Yes, 10 times in a row or seven times in a row without even a response.

It's time to like move on to a new thirst trap. It's time to stop harassing people online. Also, all this Jordan stuff sounds like it's totally out of place, because we're talking about something kind of in the future now, right? So we're kind of mixing up parts of the thing, but yeah, Nick gross. So Silas is wooing about something. Oh, because Preston walks through the kitchen and goes, hey, I'll just wanted everyone to know Jordan and I'm here about to fuck. Okay, bye

So now it's time to eat it's time for the group dinner and this is a year's first time at the vineyard and he's excited to be in a house full of people who look like him and he's talked about how his mom was born in Saudi Arabia and then she was raised in Lebanon and then he speaks some Arabic, you know, which was really cool. And so I just have to say I know what Alex means obviously like not growing up in a black community to like be actually and some stuff, bro. But when I just have to say, I know what Alex means, obviously, like not growing up in a black community to like be actually in a house full of black people

surrounding you has gotta be something. I just when he said that, I was like, I've literally never said that in my life. Like, wow, I'm so glad to be in a house of people that look like me. Like what is it? Auditions for like Uncle Fester like in Wednesday? Like who's that going to be exactly? I was just thinking God, thank God I've never walked into a room of people that look like me. You know, I was like what are we?

What are you robbing a bank? Are we are we all trying to be like Vin Diesel's current stand-in? Not his original stand in his current Vin Diesel and fast acts coming to a theater near you So yeah, but either way he's saying obviously in the situation that he's been you know raised in predominantly white community So he's very excited to be in a space of like black people. Or there is a chance he was saying, I've been raised around a lot of really ugly people and thank God, I'm on the arousment, super hot people. Been waiting for this moment for a long time. So yeah, so then a mirror,

he talks about who he doesn't know his dad and like how he didn't have, like he basically, like he didn't have someone in his life who could teach him black things, like how to take care of his hair or skin and like he didn't have like a, he basically, like he didn't have someone in his life who could teach him black things, like how to take care of his hair or skin. And like, he didn't have like a fade until he was 24. And so he looked crazy in high school. But now he's hot.

So it just gets DMs all the time. Yeah, I thought this was cute. I thought this was cute, because this is so my grandma too. He's like, my mom would just put me in the shower, cut my hair all the way around with the one on the clipper. You know, I was like all the cousins when we were kids lining up to get our haircut

by our grandma in the shower with different, different little guys. I had a mushroom. I was clippered around the side and then I had like a big mushroom on top. But yeah, we all had some kind of bowl and clipper haircut. Oh, but yeah, he's like, but then when I realized

what fades were, then I became hot. And now I get 50 to 100 DMs a day from girls. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I was like, oh, fuck off. Okay, you and Jordan deserve each other. You're hot now. No. And I can't wait for you both to get fat and old.

So then Jasmine is now saying, she's like, here's what I'm looking forward to this summer. I'm looking forward to expansion, expanding community because every year we do this, it's for purpose. And it's just not, it's not just to do it. And so I'm watching some like, oh, that's good. And then Maya's like, like, we come to the vineyard every year, she goes, girl, buy. You've only been to the vineyard once. She said twice.

We do, yeah, or twice, yeah, sorry. She's like, yeah, every time we do this, it's really for something bigger than we, like, you've only been here twice. You're also making it sound very, like I get the black excellence thing that she's saying, like, you know, make a community in this and that, but you're also like just going to party

in the Hamptons for two weeks, like let's stop making it sound like you're building homes for poor people. You know what I mean? So like this is more than just vacations. Like this is a vacation, okay? This is a vacation. It was the end of the day,

a very horde-y,-toe vacation, you know. But so I'm just. Congrats on taking it. But she's like, no, I'm still gonna have my moment. She's like, whatever black excellence means to each and every one of us, that's the expansion. Being rooted in some things. They all cheer and then breastens like,

um, he goes, I actually really hate the expression black excellence. Like I despise it and they start playing church music behind. The music comes out. It starts to make like organ gospel music. He's like, for me black excellence is like my mom who barely graduated high school and had three kids by 23 and never went to college and was just able to survive. That's black excellence.

And he's like, I think that the expression black excellence is rooted in what white people consider successful. And they're all just like looking at him like, and you know, Jasmine was like, this was supposed to be my moment. Because he does it in the full preacher way too. And I am the preachy gay. Okay. I'm the judgey gay of my friends and I loved this segment where he gets his own organ I want it. I want my own organ music because he's like for me black excellence is my mom who barely graduated high school Like he does the full-on sermon voice and everything. I was like I'm so jealous of this queen right now I'm getting an organist. I'm getting a fucking organist. That's it. It'll be at the New York show. And so, questions like, I am a black queer activist, so I have a lot of different opinions about a lot of different things. And people say

that to me, like, like, no, you don't have to say everything that's on your mind. And I'm like, ah, you're lucky that I don't. So, yeah. So they're basically just like staring at him, like, mm-hmm. They're like, fine. Thanks for killing that fun. Okay, it was just literally to do a shot. Okay, it was a cheer. It was like, you're just trying to say something nice. So then they break up after food and everyone starts kind of getting ready to go outside

and hang out in the hot tub. And Jasmine's talking to Briana and she's like, so just to be clear, you're not gonna give any of these men a chance. I mean, there's so many tall people here. Are you sure? And Brianna's like, no, would you do that? And she's like, I'm married.

Have you not heard? I'm married. And she's like, yeah. I'm in a serious relationship. I told this girl I'm in a serious relationship, right? Yeah, Jasmine's like, to go across the pond to live with someone seems aggressive. I mean, we're missing some step. We're like, we're like leaping like frog. I mean, I think the first thing you have

to do is put both of your drinks next to each other and try to guess which ones which, and then realize it doesn't even matter because you're in a committed relationship. I mean, you gotta get to that point before you move to Munich. And Jasmine's got this weird obsession with making everybody fuck, which I really don't like. Like, this isn't the bachelor. This is summer house. You just have to go have fun. We don't, people are eventually gonna fuck.

It's nature. We don't need you to do it, you know? That's creepy. So then Nick makes drinks for people and everyone's in the hot tub. And Nick starts this one. He's like, okay guys, of course it's always the nerdy guy with 18 pairs of different colored pants.

He's like, okay, let's do a drink, dare or truth. Okay, so, Mayor, I dare you to kiss a woman you find attractive. Right, so this is, that's fucking assault. How about that? How about let's stop like having the guys fucking assault people to start as a fun game?

What the fuck is that? If someone was, if someone's like, I dare you to just pick one and make out with them. Cros, get your fucking hands off of me. Cause I'm sure I would be the one with the outs, you know. I will be layering in an organ in post production just to, I to put your wishes. So, yeah, but Amir kisses Jordan on the hand.

He's very, he's very comfortable. Because he pushes him away. She's not going to let it go. He tries. He tries to go in for the kiss. And she's like, so then they make the same there for Alex. And so he then goes and kisses Jordan on the cheek. And Jordan's like, eh, eh, eh. So then they make the same deer for Alex. And so he then goes and kisses Jordan on the cheek. And Jordan's like, of course you guys all want to kiss me,

but like, no one in the house would blind. So like, obviously, yeah, I'm like super hot. But like, dare them to ask the question that they want to know. Or like, dare them to want to like, know me in some way. Like, we get it. I'm cute, like, but like, what else? And it's weird, because I'm like, I totally agree. But it's like, also, she's, I just love, she's like,

I'm just like so hot guys, like this is a given, okay? Like let's move on from that, that I'm just like deeply, wonderfully hot and gorgeous, okay? What else would you like to talk about? Literally the only thing you've talked about this entire time is about how hot you are. Since you've come on the show. But why don't you talk about something?

Yeah. So then, but also like I get it, it's like you come into this new situation and everyone's just like, okay, who wants to fuck Jordan? Who's gonna get Jordan? You know, it's, yeah, that's why I agree with her. But I think it's also funny that she does talk about

how hot she is also a lot. So Preston's like, well Mariah, talk about how she is also a lot. Yeah. So Preston's like, well, Mariah, I dare you to give Nick a doubt lap dance. How about we stop daring? What the fuck? Just everyone trying to have a mansion. Well, we're the same age. It's gross.

They're just all trying to have like a real world moment. Like, God, it's not a reality TV. And we're like, reality TV show, we're in the hot tub. It's like the real world. Like, let's get crazy. Yeah, but it's all guys doing the dares. It's all guys doing the dares and they're all daring each other to do sexual shit to the girls or the girls to do sexual shit to them. It's creepy. It's very love Island. I think I've desensitized because I watched

love Island do K. So then Mariah does like a little booty shake for next so basically doesn't get a lap dance and then Alex Well here your wish Alex gets dared to sing a song and so he's like all right I can be intentional about singing because I have a lot of different singers and musicians in my family and a fucussin who's a really popular singer and Jasmine's like it's John legend his cousin's John legend He's just trying to be faux modest about it. So he sings a song Biller singer, Jasmine's like, it's John Legend. It's cousin's John Legend. He's just trying to be film modest about it. So he sings a song.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. And I'll just say that is definitely not John Legend. So then Jasmine starts screaming and jumping out of the hot tub. I was like, oh my God, it was a frog, you guys. With a frog, a frog that touched a married person.

So, hello, I already met my prince, we don't need you, frog. So, now everyone goes to bed and Silas is like, to Jasmine and Betty's like, can I get a cookie tonight? She's like, oh, stop it. So, it's the next day. Yes, day two out of 15. Day two out of 15. So, we the next day. Yes, day two out of 15.

So we get some sunshine. Oh, that's a song. We got the sunshine of a pool time. The sunshine living a hard life. I like the electricity monical. It's like, okay, the show is called Summer House. All right, one song, what's coming from the summer? Sunshine, hot, hot, summer, summer, hot, hot.

The next one should be about a house. I'm gonna say, Dorgonab, Dorgonab, open, Dorgwindo, window. Oh, good job. Got it. Pre-perfect. Paul, get that one on the books. So everyone's waking up and next cleaning the kitchen. I mean, one thing that is like really helpful

about having someone who brings like 27 polo shirts is that they're usually pretty anal, so they're gonna do a lot of cleaning for you. And then Silas is like, I have work to do. I'm still working. So let me set up two laptops in the middle of the kitchen to do my work. I'm like, you got this whole house?

You can't set up two laptops in your bedroom for crying out loud. You gotta do one thing. Yeah, that's exactly right. You have to sit in the center of the entire house where everybody comes through with not one but two fucking laptops come on. I'm working everyone.

It's like a very, like, it's a very presentational view of him working. He's very much like Kyle. Yeah. It's like, I'm doing work right now. So, some Bria's like kissing her dog and everything and there's like Silas and Jasmine are kissing in the kitchen and Nick goes out for a run. He's doing the carol thing where he runs in the morning

and Silas is like, when I have my time off, I'm usually fulfilling my military duties and the armed reserves, army reserves. And I work hard because my family immigrated from Liberia. And I wanna make sure that my story is a successful one. And then meanwhile they cut to like a mirror. He's got like at the Mr. Coffee being like, oh my God, why is this the most intricate coffee pot

in the world? You can't figure out the coffee pot. Well, it's like, does anybody else do this? Does anybody else see this? The coffee pot literally won't work because I'm so hot. It's like, cannot even get to work. You can do it, buddy, okay. Just relax.

I can't be the first hot person you've saved. Yeah, Silas is like financial analysis, financial analysis. Gotta go to work at the army, financial analysis. And the mirror's like, how do you work a coffee pot? Ha ha ha ha. So then Alex is on the launch shirt list, taking selfie pictures, selfie videos at chest level. You know, it's like only really hot people do that too,

by the way. Hold a selfie at chest level. Like who else does it? Have the rest of us are like holding the fucking camera up to the ceiling, you know? Yeah, you know what I hate when hot people do when they do the throshruck videos. I hate when they end with like a little like they do like the peace sign with their hand. That's like and you always think like you're watching like oh maybe this time they won't do like the yeah like a little peace like smile and a peace sign and I like, this time maybe they won't do it.

Oh, they snuck it in at the end. I don't, for some reason it really bothers me. It's like, we don't need the peace sign. I kind of peace sign sometimes. I don't do thirst trap selfies, but I do kind of peace in pictures, just because I don't know what to do. But this is the one that really kills me. When people stick, is the Kim Zolciak speaking of,

the sticking your tongue out between your teeth, your open teeth, and then like touching the the sticking your tongue out between your teeth, your open teeth, and then like touching the tip for your tongue to your top lip like this. I hate that. I don't get that one. I don't know why I just think that people are like. Everyone was doing that.

Everybody's been doing that. I mean, maybe they just stopped, but it was going on for a very long time, and it bothered me. I hurt my feelings. I don't know why. Well, yeah, and of course, the one I hate the most are the photos of people smiling with their mouth open.

Like, you know, that thing, because it's the idea of it is like, oh, you took a picture of me when I was having such a good time that I was laughing really loudly, and you captured that moment. Excuse me. That's called the Julia Roberts and that's what I do. Are you coming for me right now because first, it was the peace signing pictures and now you're coming for the Julia Roberts news.

No, no, no, no. So if you have something to say, you don't do it. There's a thing, there's a difference between having an open mouth smile and there's the one where it's like, oh, I'm acting like you just caught me in the middle of a hilarious moment that I was having. And this is like an 80's moment.

80 sitcom moment where you're like, I'm just, I'm just big, I'm just like stirring the cookie mix and then the camera catches and you turn a smile real big like, yeah. Dipping in the strokes it takes. Mrs. Garrett, if she were here, well, not Mrs. Garrett, well, Mrs. Garrett actually was. The original the original thirst trap, Mrs. Garrett.

Taking selfies, taking selfie puller rights at just level other cookies What I want I talk about So anyway Mariah's like hey Jasmine let's go right for a little bit So they go out and Mariah tells a story that in 2017, Jasmine was like, hey, Bestie, why don't you come up to New York? You know, let's have some fun in New York, but then what Jasmine didn't tell her was

that she was being evicted. So Mariah moved up to New York to a no place to live, and they wound up living out of Mariah's car and eating ramen noodles for five months. Yes, and they were taking showers at Planet Fitness, the homeless life. That's like me when I moved to New York, I didn't know anybody and I was on the street for a couple of weeks and I was a member of the city gym that was like $25 and I used to have to roll my fucking suitcase around and take showers

and that damned I will never forget. I wish we had planet fitness back then. I mean God, there's something like nice showers. These city, these city gems were like prison showers. Not that that was always a terrible thing. Why am I talking about this? That's back when I was like, guys, I get it. Why don't you ask me something else in the shower? Guys, come on, like, choose the guys the next time you drop the soap, like how about you ask a question when you pick it up? So let's see.

So then, so basically they thought it was like a crazy experience. They wrote a pilot. It looks like the pilot was shot. They made a show. I don't think the pilot was picked up. It doesn't sound like the pilot was shot, they made a show. I don't think the pilot was picked up, doesn't sound like the pilot was picked up, but super cool that they turned it into something and now they clearly have, they've got something brewing, so now they're writing. So they go to sit down to write in this room and they sit on this white couch and then Jasmine freaks out, she's like, oh my god, the dog's

been here. So immediately I'm thinking, oh my god, there's a puddle of pee or there's poop. But it's been here so immediately I'm thinking oh my god, there's a puddle of pee or there's poop, but it's just here Rock bottom I'm looking it up. There was a Documentary following seven gay men is a struggle with methamphetamine addiction Bottom that's very literal. I mean there's one Stuck in the middle between two rival gangs two friends stumbled onto the wrong turf And then if it never made it to let's see there's a show called rock bottom in 2019 There's one called rock bottom between 2015 and 2020 austerity hits leads England

Okay, that's England. Okay, so I think it was just a pilot, I think. There's a lot of things called rock bottom, I mean, Jesus. And if it didn't get, well, oh, no, no. Rock bottom, 2019, Chronicles the Cosmic, Comic, Miss Adventures of a Girl undergoing a life crisis after she locks herself out of her apartment, with no pants on and is there by force to confront her emotional philosophical and logistical problems.

Okay, so for a moment, I thought that's what this was because the picture showed a woman dumpster diving, but... No. That sounds like it. Could be it. But you know what though, it's funny, the person who's in this movie, I know this person. That's wild. In real life in this movie I know this person that's wild and real life yeah I know I know him through our friend Cedar that's so bizarre oh wow what a waste so this is we're at an hour and I think we're in five minutes into this show so

okay so the point is there's dog hair on the sofa and Jasmine is no I'm lined you know so now listen I have a dog who leaves so much hair Ever it's horrible like I literally have hair Removers all over my house for people I feel so guilty and that's in my own home I feel so guilty I cannot imagine bringing my shetty ass dog without telling people that is so rude. And then letting your dog all over the furniture to get air everywhere. Brea's fucking rude, that's it.

Because also, you know, these people are like, we're on TV right now, we're trying to look good. And we're gonna have hair all over ourselves. So then we cut to Milo and the pool and just sum it around and Brea's like, go Milo, go, hey Milo. I taught him how to swim in the ocean. I was like, in the ocean, that just feels very aggressive

for a small dog. I'm surprised that dogs alive, just not even the waves, but from the predators for crying out loud. Would you ever let a small dog learn to swim in the ocean? It's not possible. Yeah, she's not a good mom. So then, Jasmine's like, we can't even have a writer's meeting

without dog hair being everywhere. And we're like, well, did she tell you about the dog? She goes, no, she just showed up with the dog. And we're like, fine, I've heard enough, let's go get her. We're gonna do that. Priya, could you come here as a sec? Jasmine and me see I'll let you in the sunroom.

So, but I love the irony that like, that Jasmine is like, yeah, my claim to fame is that I wrote a pilot about like living out of my car and it was like really tough. You just take showers at the gym and yeah, it was a rough and tumble like. Dog hair. Do I see dog hair? It's like how things have changed. So, when we get a little clip of Jordan's love journey on the show, we go to the kitchen where she puts something in the dishwasher and she goes, the dishwasher won't close and it goes, that's giving it dish an experience to me.

I was like, oh, there we go. It's the beginning of a love story. Finally, someone is talking to her as something, someone is talking to her about something that's not about how hot she is, and it's how bad she is about placing dishes in the dishwasher. Ring down bells.

Let's be gone to bring. You gotta ring them bells. Listen, Ronnie, you know what? Like, yeah, it's a dishwasher. It cleans dishes. We all know that. How about asking the dishwasher a question for once? Okay, I'm getting to know the dishwasher

So back to the girls Jasmine's like my dog seriously is building a fort and he's making me just lay down Lay on it. What do you just like? I don't like the discussion of Milo He's uneasy with another dog being discussed on the podcast. Yeah. So, okay. So Jasmine's like, okay, well to me the considerate thing would be to let all of us know that you're bringing your talk. And that's kind of important. Like Alex can't even properly do yoga without Milo's shipping around. And she goes, oh really? Where's the shit? Show me the shit then. It wears the shit. And she goes, oh, did you pick up the shit this morning?

And she goes, yes, I did pick up the shit. So then they show the shit, Karen, my guess, of her picking up poop in the backyard, which I have to say, I was impressed because I didn't see that. I didn't see that coming from Bria. I would have guessed that she would have left it there, but she did. Now, that still leaves a grass covered in the poop on the grass, but there's plenty of grass. So I don't know where I'd like, who's side out on the side? I'm not going to put Brea on a pedestal

for doing one of the basic things you have to do for a dog, which is, you know, it's poop. So like she doesn't want to eat anything. People don't do it. I know people don't do it. And let me tell you, one of the reasons that you have to do for a dog which is, you know, it's so like she doesn't when a new one. People don't do it. I know people don't do it. Let me tell you one of the reasons that Lala Kent has always made me crazy. Well, actually, I liked her in her first couple seasons.

Yeah. But I met somebody he used to live in the same building as Lala in that Beverly Grove. You know, those Beverly Grove. Yeah. Where the hills were. Yeah. Lauren Conrad's place. And she said that yes.

And she said that Lala was always walking, yes. And she said that Lala was always walking around there, talking on the phone to her mom, and walking her dog. And she would just let her dog poop everywhere. And she would never pick up the poop. And one time someone said, oh, you should pick up your poop. And Lala just gave them a dirty look and kept walking.

I can't stand people who don't pick up their dogs. You're monsters. You're monstrous people. Okay. And that's why I'll never trust anything. Lala says because no matter how nice you pretend she's being or what a good person she's acting like that season. She's a person who doesn't pick up her dog shit.

Okay. And she's probably going to raise terrorists there. I said give them Lala more like give them poopers. Scoopers. So Jasmine is like, so terrorists. There I said it. Give them Lala, more like give them pooper scoopers. So Jasmine is like, so Jasmine, here's the thing. I think Jasmine is right with this argument. Like, and I think ultimately what Jasmine

is really upset about was that Priya just did not give her the consideration of a heads up. So she's mad and she goes, but her arguing, I think she needs to work on her tactics because her response is, I mean, how would you feel if I showed up with like a tiger? I feel like that's not like, couldn't she just start with basic house cat?

I think house cats have a really strong one to go with people that are using this. It's high-grace strong. Also, you can't come at someone like that with somebody else by your side. She shouldn't have had Mariah be like, okay, come in here. We need to have a talk with you because that's automatically too against wanting it. You shouldn't do that.

Of course, Bria is totally unapologetic. She's like, you're being insensitive about the dog and that's not my problem. You're being very insensitive. God, and that's not my problem. You're being very insensitive. God, I cannot stand people who are like this. Like, sorry, like I know the sign says no dogs, but that's gonna be your problem because I'm bringing my dog in. Oh well, you know why that, right?

Because it's my emotional support dog. No, no, no. You don't get to just say that. You could be emotionally supportive with your dog, not on the sofa. So then Jasmine is like, well, I feel disrespected. And Ryan's like, listen, listen, okay, like here's what I have to say.

I hate, and then Milo just starts shaking the water off of himself. Ryan's like, wet dogs. And Justin's like, listen, I just want to set some bountries. And so Priya's like, I don't even know this person. Like, we're close enough for her to be like, yo, your dog's hair is bothering me. And I'd be like, okay, cool. But you wouldn't. You'd be like, okay, cool.

My dog's hair is bothering you. What else you have to say about it, you know? Priya would be the type to say, okay, well, you know what, you should sit on that sofa instead. Like, I'm not going to change anything with okay, well, you know what, you should sit on that sofa instead like like I'm not gonna Change anything with my dog, but you should change your pattern instead. Right. So Jasmine's like, I mean you never came up to me about the dog And she goes, I told you I brought a service animal So then Preston is now arrived and he's like, well, what I'm hearing from Jasmine is that she just wanted a heads up.

And Bri is like, this is my business and this is my dog. And this is my emotional support dog. Okay. So. So then she does, yeah, she goes, listen, I'm not talking to you. I respect what you're saying. But when you can take it down and watch Jasmine, I will talk to you. And Jasmine's like what? I'm not raising my voice and she says this is just too much and so she like storms that and closes the door behind her. So ridiculous. So then um Brea goes to the kitchen. Now she's like going to start

a public campaign or she's gonna start campaigning for her side so she's going to get some votes. So she goes to she sees Jordan and Nick and she's like um are you guys fine with the dog being here because apparently Jasmine saying people have a problem with the dog you have a problem with dog and they're like You could see they're kind of like we don't love the dog, but we don't want to get the middle of this so they're like It's been like we're not fucking with Jasmine. Like, hell, though, you know? And so then Jordan's like, yeah, there's something weird with them anyway beyond this dog stuff.

They've got weird energy. So then Priya's like, okay, thanks. I'm finding a mirror now. A mirror. So of course, guess where a mirror is, he's working out. Where else do he be? The library.

So he's there and she scares him by coming in. And so she's like, so apparently, she said that everyone has a problem with my dog in the house. So I'm like, I'm literally coming to everybody to ask him, do you have a problem? And he's like, no, I mean, look, I would appreciate it if the dog would send me less DMs. Like, she were DMs, but I get it.

I love him. I love him. That's great. So then, then Jasmine's telling us, do I have an issue with Bria? No, I mean, Bria and I work together, and that's about it. And like, Shanice is the one that recommended

inviting Bria. And like, Bria was like not even my top priority of friends. Like, sorry to that woman. So basically, she's saying, I wanted a different friend to come on. And the producers, like Shanice put this person in front of the producers, and the producers chose Priya instead and I'm pissed. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that sounds about right. Yeah. So then Mariah calls her mom and we find a little bit about her. She's a single mom and she's got a little seven year old named Miliano, and he's staying with, I mean, it's just one eye away from a delicious cookie.

You know what I mean? Would it have killed you to name him after that cookie? Come on, come on. You know, it's like naming a child like a Geneva. Do a Geneva, delicious cookie, delicious peppered for me. Yeah, come on, man. It's like naming your child chocolate sip.

Could you just put an eight in there? It's like, it's like chips, hoi. Come on, get the A in there. So then, Brea is calling her boyfriend and she's like, there was drama because Jasmine got into it over Milo. And not only that, she keeps saying, don't you find any of these guys cute? And I'm like, excuse me, she's disrespecting my relationship with you.

And he's like, just always people who want to bring you down. So this is how life is. And I've got you all back. Don't worry, no one will put you down. I'm coming over there. Yeah. No, I shall put you down as long as you move the municom be with me the rest of your life. So, um, so then, so now Alex and Amir are tossing a football around because they're bros.

And, um, Amir played rugby, so he throws the ball like rugby style, but like Alex throws it like football style. And so then Jordan, like, joins in. And they start asking, I'm here starts asking Jordan about her dating life. And she's like, you know, I'm so picky because it's like the whole playboy thing. Because I was in playboy. I was like a playboy, you know, like playboy.

Because you know, I'm hot. And like it's just like so hard. Because I'm always like with guys like, are you a fan? Is this like cool to you? Or do you like actually want to get to know me for me? And that's part of the reason why I've just been celibate for the past year. Give me a fucking break.

Who recognizes somebody from a Playboy centerfold like a long time? Like, I'm sorry. But maybe you shouldn't have it at the top of your Instagram profile, because you know it is. I'm gonna look her up right now. So I mean, you're like really? Wow,, it's all a bit. And you just start looking at his nails, like, okay, you're going to have to find someone else. This is not worth it, not worth it.

And of course, because she says that she's questioning people's intentions and by eliminating sex, it allows her to find out if someone's just like really interested in getting to know her for her. So, of course, Alex. No, it doesn't. First of all, that's a flawed philosophy because it means that they're waiting to get, they're waiting to have sex with you. I mean, look, if you're that gorgeous and a guy's not, you're not having sex with the guy, he is going to be as nice as possible until you have sex with him. Then you find out who the guy really is.

That's what I say. is possible until you have sex with them. Then you find out who the guy really is. That's what I say. Unfortunately, I think that guys are terrible. And they are con artists, and they will do that too. And here's a con artist right here, Alex, he's like, I think that's beautiful. There's something really magical and special about deciding to focus on yourself.

And I've taken that path myself. I was like famous cousin John legend Stop trying to push that booze on me. Okay, I'm being intentional with how I live my life I'm sorry, but I have to go to Jordan's Instagram. Okay, let me see here Jordy and next to Gramp loaded up Listen Ronnie. Don't make her mad. Don't make her mad. You don't want to be crossing Jordan to Cram, loaded up. Listen, Rodney, don't make her mad. Don't make her mad. You don't want to be crossing Jordan.

Okay, it does not say Playboy, whatever, on her Instagram. So I was wrong. It says, NYC DJ, model, potato enthusiast. So okay, she's winning my first offer. She's a enthusiast. That's good. She's co-founder of Women with Voices. I think I like that.

I like the name of it. She's creator of At 844 Swim, and she's the director of Vibes with a bunch of emojis after it, and she has a soundcloud. Okay, so I could see. And these are not all, by the way, these are also not all thirst. Like literally. Literally, literally. Literally, there's, by the way, everything she said

is totally respectable and like totally realistic to ask. Just she just wants people to find out about her instead of just like, you know, ogling over her. And, you know, it's just that it's, I think that the way it was presented on this show is just like, I'm a playboy, Bonnie, I'm a play, I'm hot, my DMs or whatever. But the truth is that you can see the way that a mirror, like I assume she said that she's celibate

and the way that a mirror just looks down to this fingernail is like, ugh, boring stupid, I don't like her anymore. It's like, yeah, that is what she has to deal with. You have to kind of have that attitude with the guys because they never stopped, you know. So let's see, Jordan is... Okay, so I have that discussion and Brianna, or...

Sorry, Briya is on the couch, okay. So she's like lying on the couch and Nick has some device that he's like wrapping her legs in and it's some kind of thing that sends an electric pulse through your legs. Yeah. It's like a thing that athletes use. It looks like she has like giant moon boots on that go all the way up to like her waist. Because it's like, yeah, they're doing something

to her legs. And so I don't know why he brought those to the house, but he did. He's a sports something. He's in sports. But I guess Ebb's in sports physical therapy. I don't know. So she's sitting on the sofa doing that.

And then Jasmine and Nick, they like sit down at the table nearby. And Jasmine is like, or is it Jasmine Mariah? I don't remember. But Jasmine sits down and she's like, oh, I am mentally spanned by what we talked about earlier. I mean, Brea, this morning was so difficult and it's like, what is happening here?

We're gonna have to figure this out. We have to talk and figure that out. Brea's like, hello, I'm right here. Like a foot away from you. And so, Jasmine's like, oh my God, when did you even get there? She's like, I'm doing like therapy. She's like, okay.

So, Brea's like, oh, so, she's now's like, okay. So, Bri is like, oh, so now she's being fake. So, what the hell? So then, Bri is like, okay, let's just talk then. I can't run away from you. I'm literally stuck in a device. So, let's talk. So, Jasmine goes, well, if I offended you, I apologize. You know, I'm married.

And she's like, okay. But, you know, it's a very vulnerable position to create a trip like this You curated a trip you fucking saving me right now. She's so wonderful Yeah, I was like no, it's such a vulnerable position to be a married person creating a trip for single people who haven't you know fulfilled their life yet and like you know because if everything goes right and everyone gets married, everyone's like, yay! But then if anything goes wrong, it's like, look at the coopers, and by the way, just so you know, I am one of the coopers.

Okay, you can hang with me. Okay, because I'm married. So, Brea's like, okay, I'm sorry I was rude. I should have let you guys know we're gonna have a dog in the house and move the head up accordingly. No, you should have asked you guys know we're gonna have a dog in the house and move the head up accordingly. No, you should have asked.

Yeah. Brea, you should not have just said I'm bringing a dog. You should have said, hey, can I bring a dog? Mm-hmm. I'll steep it long, Harry. I'll steep it dog. I'll drop it. So then Jasper's like, who swims in the ocean,

like a fucking weirdo. This dog, learned how to swim in the ocean. Okay, this dog's been doing documentaries called like 100-foot wave, but that's really just like a regular wave. It just feels like a hundred feet to it. So Jasmine is like, I'm triggered. Okay, I'm a wife now. There's a sense of stability,

and I still have some habits I picked up from living out of a car, and I still feel like I have to be in fight mode and defend myself, and I don't have to be because I'm married. I'm married, I'm a Cooper. Yeah, And Bri is like also respect my relationship too because I have a relationship and you don't value it. And she's like, okay. Okay. Clean slate time. Normally I'd leave the slate dirty but I'm married now. It's got to got to keep it clean. So now everybody's

getting ready to go to dinner and my low is crying on the bed while Bri gets ready. And again, I say that is not an emotional support guy. He's getting the emotional support. He's terrified per stog. That is an emotional distress dog. So yeah, so then there's like doing photos and they're going out to dinner. There's like, to talk about those no street lights and they're actually talking about the history

of Martha's Vineyard and it's history with the black population and how Mariah says how slaves came up to Martha's Vineyard to be free and that Oak Bluffs, Preston says Oak Bluffs opened up the first in for black vacationers and there's even a black beach and That's also as a place where people who were mixed race would come to for you know to get it to get away from everything And they talk about famous black celebrities who have homes up there like Spike Lee and Obama and Kamala Harris etc So we got like we hear about that a little bit and then they get to dinner where they can You know get back to doing petty reality star things. Oh, yeah

So they do so I'm yours like so Jordan. What are you gonna get? Are you cool Jordan? You're not wearing a jacket here Take my jacket Jordan. It's like oh my god. Do ugly girls just freeze to death? I think so I think yes. Yeah,'re a hot, you get the jacket. So then Jordan's like, they're ordering food, but Jordan doesn't order much because she's gonna make a potato at home. She's like potato. That's my favorite. And so this is what makes it more like potato. I was like, okay, I like your hat.

Should have left with potatoes. You shouldn't have led with how hot you are. You should have fled with how hot you like potatoes. Then that would have been with you. On her Instagram, like her number one story of highlight thing is potatoes. Like before all else, before her branding, before anything, it's like potato.

So Jasmine's like, okay, so let me say this. Is anyone interested in anyone here because people are single Are there some prospects? Cause so I'm cuz I wrote um shut up. You're so annoying But then I was really glad that I'm tired Gave her that look like god shut off. You're so annoying. I know she's so annoying But I really enjoy her because I think I I see a lot of like my worst aspects in her So I like enjoy it. So not the single. Oh, I know I don't do any of that stuff

But then so Jasmine's like we're all attractive people. We're intelligent people So everyone should be getting married. So who's gonna start first and Jordan's like God stop it So then the food arrives and Jasmine's like, okay, so I do want to circle back to the struggles of singlehood that no one was talking about except for me. So like, I want to know a little bit more about everyone. Like, everyone tell where they're from and what they're working on, okay?

Who's working on a screenplay? Who's still single? Who still feels like they have avoid in their life because they're not married to someone? Yeah, so if we can start with Jordan and Jordan's like, um, well, I would love to have an authentic conversation One without a prompt. Oh my god. And now I officially love Jordan She loves potatoes and she's putting it into this bullshit game They do on every single bravo show where they're trying to force everything out of everybody. Thank you, ma'am. Thank you.

Jordan's great. Jordan's great. So then, Brie has, Brie has like, I feel the same way too. So, Jasmine's like, great, okay, fair. I'm totally at ease with this decision that you guys have made on my television show that I've ever read. I'm totally chill right now. So then, Mariah asks if Brie and Jasmine talked it out. And Jasmine's like, yes,

we were able to have a conversation. And I don't know if you all know, but me, Briya Jordan and Shines all worked at the club together in New York City. So, and there weren't a lot of black girls who worked there. So we stuck together. I mean, I know me and Jordan hit it off immediately. And I do consider Jordan a sister cousin and Briya, well bring stocks Nobody really knows about it who get air everywhere. He doesn't really seem to care. So that happened. That was fine That was my totally non-prompting

Participation in an organic conversation. I'm not holding back a prompt. So then Silas is like, yeah, I love the dynamic that Jordan and Jasmine have, but you know what? In training, I would call her and Jordan would be out and about. And I'm just like, I would call her in Jordan and they'd be like out and about. And I'm just like, huh. And I'm like, okay, so what's wrong with that? Also, what were you doing at two in the morning at training?

Wouldn't that mean that you were at a bar after training or something? Or were you running labs every night at training? Because it sounds to me like you guys were out drinking and I'm from an army town and I know what happens after training at two in the morning. Okay, I've had a lot of it. Ding ding, mic, mic, the, he's the very intentional guy. Oh, no, not mic, Alex, I kept on calling him mic. Alex is like, yeah, I can see Jordan being the toxic friend.

That's like, whoa, you see this. Everyone's like, what, what was that about? He just laughed. Well, he's trying to nag her because she and Amir are getting close and he feels like he's the intentional one and he's got a famous cousin. So why is nobody picking him? Which is so then because if you're intentional, you shouldn't have to nag someone but just goes to show.

The fuck boy's coming out. Yep. So then Jordan's like, why am I toxic? And he's like, oh, I'm totally kidding So Jordan goes what do you mean? What was I taking her away from Silas and goes it's two or three a.m. Am and she's like But that's New York and it's like yeah people don't even go out to 130 in New York and Silas goes well, it just seems whenever you were out late, it's always with Jordan. Dun dun dun dun.

And in the middle of this, Nick tells us, uh, Jasmine knew Jordan before she knew you, Silas, and she made it this far in life without you. So, like basically, like, stay off, like, go. And he's like, he's like, he does not want smoke from Jordan. Trust me. And Jordan's like, so does she have a curfew? And he goes, just during the pandemic, at 21 years old, I enlisted with the Army Reserve. And we were away from each other for over six months. So it's still new to see her in this environment

with her girls, and I'm still adjusting to that. Well, you better fucking get used to it. I mean, I don't know. No. Who the fuck do you think you're married to, but that's not gonna last. Also, these two are clearly not ready to be married. Right.

Anybody? Would you get married after five minutes of knowing each other? No. Yeah, I'm intrigued by this, but I think it was that it was in 2021. I don't think he was 21 when they got married. Thank you, because I was like, how does that?

No. Yeah, how does that work? Okay. No, it was in 2021. So, and then he goes, yeah, there was one night I called you, so I was like, how does that? No, yeah, how does that work? Okay, no, it was in 2021. So, and then he goes, yeah, there was one night I called you and you were like, oh babe, we just got some free drinks and I'm like, you got what? Who's buying the drinks? And I think that's a fair question.

And someone's like, if we are at like the daily front row party, it's an open bar, that's called free drinks. Like nobody's buying us free drinks. And by the way, it's also possible that if there was someone buying free drinks, maybe someone bought free drinks for Jordan and like was like, oh, I'll get them for your friend too, like it's, it's, or maybe they brought drinks for your girlfriend. Who fucking cares? Yeah, you're not there. Okay. Yeah, and she can drink. So, Jordan's like, this is exhausting that men think they need to be our night and shining armor and that we cannot go out

with being prey for the predator, which is true, but men think this because men are predators. Yeah, that's the thing. They pretend to be the shining, night and shining armor because they know they want their predators. So then Jordan's like, we go out, we're adults, she makes decisions, I don't have to shackle her and say,

and like, say, stay out till 3 a.m. And then Nick is long, Nick is like, yeah, what's wrong with going outside? Like, what's wrong with that? And I was like, no, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying, you know, it was late. I'm like, you're not saying it was late. You're not just commenting on how interesting it was that it was a late hour. You were saying, like, you shouldn't it was late. I'm like, you're not saying it was late. You're not just commenting on how interesting it was

that it was a late hour. You were saying like, you shouldn't be out late because you're married and it's inappropriate because you're gonna do something wrong which is totally retrograde. It's also really gross that he's putting this on somebody else. Like if this is your problem, that's your problem with your wife and you talk about that in private.

You don't bring it up in public. And then you're their friend, like their friend is some kind of slut because she still goes out at night while you're married. Well, it also takes away so weirdo. And also, it just takes out, like by saying, like, oh, Jordan's like a bad influence. If she's with Jordan, then she's gonna go out

and make bad decisions. It's totally what that does is it eliminates any sense that Jasmine has any free will. Oh, she just does what are these people, I need to be there to be a good influence because Jasmine is like to, she doesn't have, she needs someone to think for her to make her decisions.

And then when Jordan's making decisions for her, those are bad decisions. That totally eliminates Jasmine from the situation which is so patronizing. Yeah, girls can't thank. So then, Jasmine is like, well, that's my husband. And we have the last name now, literally. So if anything goes down with my man,

I'm gonna stick beside him, because we are literally one at this point. According to Jesus Christ, Jasmine, shut the fuck up. Your man is coming for your friend in front of everybody. You need to tell him to shut the fuck up and you'll talk about it at home and not to keep that shit up for your poor. What are you doing?

You're a terrible friend. This gets terrible. I also. Jasmine sucks and I'm so glad she's on this show, by the way. God, she sucks and literally every scene she's in, she's wrong. She cracks me up so far. So Preston's like,

I date men and I can't disassociate what he's saying about protection of a woman because I still feel like I need to protect my spouse and I can't disassociate gender from that. And I think if we do, we are all being disingenuous and the organ music is back and they're all staring at him like, I don't think I follow what he's saying.

And he's like, most mainstream men have this idea that they have to be the he-man or the incredible Hulk over women. And even if that's rooted in love, a woman might want protection sometimes from her man, but that woman also decided to go out. With her home girl. So what do we do?

And no one's listening anymore, it's like a dude. Everything doesn't have to be a fucking speech, you know. They're just looking at him like, oh God. George is doing a countdown to her potato. She's like, oh God. 55 more minutes, I can have my big potato. So, Jordan goes, well, also by the way, I don't have a counterpart.

So, what the fuck do I look like out in these streets, as if I don't have any regards for my safety? Like, I'm extremely protective and aware of my surroundings at all time. And despite whether it's two or three AM, because I've known her prior to use, especially saying like, you're acting like I'm just this totally irresponsible twit, and I'm not. Yeah, so whatever, that guy's immediate. So if that's the first episode, and he's that comfortable being that showvinistic, good

luck with the rest of the season, buddy. Yeah. Well, I think it's a really great cast. I think this show has a lot of good. This was good. It was really good. This was really good for especially for a first episode of something. Really liked it. So everybody go check out this show. It's a good one to watch. And thank you so much for being with us. We will talk to you next time. And some of you later in the week in New York City for Real Housewives of New Jersey and then in Washington, DC for Vanderpump Rules.

So we are doing a bunch of extra recaps this week to make up for those being late. So just keep coming back every day. There will be something up. Tons of content as always. We love you guys. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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