Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Red, White and Blue Balls Live in Cincinnati

Episode Date: March 17, 2019

We're live from Cincinnati for this week's Summer House Fourth of July party. Will anyone get laid? To hear this week's bonus episode about our trip to SXSW and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! Countess Luann Warhol Pop Art avail through February! **Crappens Live is coming to Cincinnati, Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell Miss Noel! Kelly Grant the Grant Master! We love you guys! I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, I've been watching you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys.

We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, guys. We love you, the theater we're in is cool. It's called

the Love the Grouch and it's like a V, I guess. Yeah. Full Vanda pump. But it's, we've even got jiky vander pump here. So thank you, Ben. So it's a really weird angle for you guys. Not my best look. Sorry guys, you're getting my worst sign and you're gonna get a lot of butt crack already feel the the wind of my butt crack. Oh God I gotta open up my password to get into my own laptop. Oh God get a fingerprint for Christy you guys We're backstage watching tiny house. They have a big TV playing Bravo in the green room Which is so nice to this place. They had it all set up for us. Fuck that show. Have you guys watched Tiny House? What is this?

Nobody's fighting about anything. What is this bravo? Is bravo? No show gets me anger than watching Tiny House shows. I can't stand them. They make me stressed out and angry at people. It's really like the worst thing that we've ever come up with as humans.

It's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Being poor sex. I don't know. I don't know what you guys are trying to pull here But no because it's people who willingly want to go into a small house Which is fine, but then complain the episode we just watched a woman goes well, it's not the grand staircase I was hoping for I'm like bitch you're in a house a size of a stable That's not the husband you were hoping for, like nothing is going, you know?

Like nothing is going the way you want it to right now. Let's stop trying to be happy, okay? Why with your fat neighbor? Like get into it, like... There's a little girl, they made her a bedroom, like, up top. The poor children. There was like a little sewing machine, and she's like, Oh my god!

I'm like, you can't stand up! You can't stand up in the bedroom. There's no chair for little sewing machine and she's like, oh my God, I'm like, you can't stand up. You can't stand up in the bedroom. There's no chair for the sewing machine. There's nowhere to put her fabric. So it's like, I appreciate you trying to be positive. But sometimes being positive isn't the best option. You know, sometimes it's good to walk into your tiny home and be like, my parents suck. Yeah. My dad and mom have no like goals in life. Yeah. You know, can a job. How about a show called Get a Job? Yeah. How about that?

The people, they have their friends come over for a dinner party, AK, putting up pizza. So then we have to watch a time lapse of these people put together the dinner table because it's all folded up and put in different parts. So you see them all. I'm like, if I'm going to open your house, you better have that table set up for me. Excuse me. And then there was this guy when they put a toilet

in the house and they're like, Oh, and it's your fancy new toilet. Yeah. It's called an incinerator toilet. That means burn. You're going to burn your poop. What is that? And they're like, it's from Europe. Yeah. I was like, listen, there's a lot of great your art in Europe, people in Europe, music in Europe. I've never heard about great toilets in Europe. Never. No, Japanese toilets is what you want. Like I want to smell dad's shit burning in my tiny house. Yeah.

It's like your air conditioner from Europe. It's like the wind. Yeah, enjoy being in your little elevated crawl space. Just disgusting as the point. But it was Bravo related. Yeah. This is what happens when we watch Bravo directly before we come on stage we are riled up It's our warm up fury

You guys I don't know about you, but I went straight for the rosé for today For the rosé This is our first live summer summer house recap ever. Yeah, it's like the opposite of tiny house That is true thematically appropriate. These are the people that deserve to be poor, but somehow they're renting a mansion every year Every year on every episode on summer house rather they have somebody else narrate the opening with their friends font I forgot about the friends font on the show, too That gets wacky like friends. I'm like friends did not all fuck around those like right off the street I guess they kind of did but they made it cuter than this show. Yeah

Well, this time is dance around in a fountain, which I was always morally opposed. I'm like that's a public space I don't know. I didn't like they're like peeing in the fountain. Just barfing in the fountain. The summer house version of friends. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Life. What life? Life. Life. Live life, Jen. I'll be there for Kyle. Oh, Kyle, I'll be there for you one more time, Kyle, let you screw me over again. I love Amanda's like 900th last chance. So this episode should be called Amanda's 900th last chance. So this one is narrated by Paige.

Now Paige is confusing. She's a new character on the show And she talks like Shina. She's in the Shina range, but she's way too smart to be Shina And I don't know what to do with Paige. I don't know Because everything that Paige says makes me laugh But I also don't know what to do with her. She's just like just sort of talks like this. I feel like I guess I think the reason why I like her is that she reminds me of Layton Meester kind of, and I don't know if anyone here was like, I'll just be paid for a billy Lee's surgery.

So thanks, Layton. See you at all. It all comes around. That's a good friend to have Layton Meester. I want some surgery. You're lazy. You're a lazy friend, Ben. Yeah.

Paige actually tweeted us today, which is, I'm not really trying to brag, because who brag is about that. But she goes, no offense, Paige. Yeah, no offense. But she tweeted at us and she said, maybe my mom Francesca will be there. She put Francesca in quotes. And I was like, oh cool.

I was like, I don't get it. I don't either. Is that really her mom? Is Francesca here? Is Francesca here? Shut up, Paige. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Thanks for wasting two minutes of our show page. Like I'm furious at

page now, fucker. Okay, so it's page. So I'm trying to fit. It's in light of new voices because we also have Barbara on Real House, lots of New York, which is another crazy voice. We'll get to that later. But for now, page, it's like, how do you do Shina, but a smart version of Shina, right? Because she's like, Why my friend Amanda asked me to join see it's China like I swear to you. I was doing it along with age. I practice this model like for an hour and it sounded like age My friend Amanda asked me to join the summer house. I jumped at the chance like I can't I don't like bringing Shina here Because the only time she in a was on summer house. She is like I don't eat things with cloth Yeah, I

Feel like we always forget that there was a Shina summer house crossover Tell this started yeah, remember and Kyle was in the hot tub when Stasi was wearing her turtle neck bathing suit Babes suit one of the most amazing things. I will always love Kyle just for that comment. Because whoever came, you know, coming up with a comment like that, that's like such next level shit, you know. Well, just because it's a new cast and this mom will, just for the people who were dragged here, it explains everything going on.

Yeah. When my friend Amanda asked me to join the summer house, I jumped at the chance. I thought I was joining a group of friends that liked to have a good time. Wrong! I was very wrong. Wrong! Apparently, Lindsey and Danielle are at war with Kyle on Amanda, and he wrote like the 17-page email. And apparently, they have baggage. Except for Carl, he's like Switzerland. And I love my roommates. We work together, we play together.

If only we can stop fighting at dinner. Yeah. Dinner's a good time for everyone else in the world, but these people. But that's Paige's story behind that. She just wants a nice dinner. A warm dinner. Oh, yeah.

Summerhouse doesn't need much, you know, for a story line. It's like that girl All right, just keep happening her say dinner over and over again. It's enough for summer house. Yeah So anyways, so now we we're coming back and last week left off because they had a crazy dinner where they got drunk and like new Version two of Danielle was like I'm crazy Danielle. I'm gonna start fights I'm gonna start fights. I'm gonna start fights. I'm like no one really knew what she was talking about. And Carl had to be like, Danielle, you're being that girl.

Danielle, she's like, what go my baby? Like Danielle, I'm like, okay, that's fine. We're done with that episode. I'll tell you what kind of girl I am. I'm a fisherman, fisherman, fisherman for dick. DICK! Gotta catch that dick, you don't want to do it. Well, I'm new. I've never seen such a try hard hooker, you'll want to do it. Well, I'm new.

I've never seen such a try hard hooker, you know? Yeah. So they all come up here. Like your first day on the block. Big one, baby. Calm down. Calm down. So they all come in.

They all come home from dinner. And they're all like, they're all mad. They're all, each one walks in a different room. And they're like, that sucks. That's crazy. Just Christ. I just can't Want to put on some music? Let's put on some music. Let's late night my neighbor. Let's late night. Yeah, they're like where the cool girl That's about music. They just dance in their brother like We're fun. We're fun. This whole house, this was a try hard episode.

And then they showed Carl, they stopped the music in the middle, and you think Carl's going to, I don't know, jerk off. Because there's like little cameras in all the rooms, you know? Fingers crossed. Well, you're hoping something good's going to happen. And then it's just Carl going, with water. It's just trucking water before bed.

I was like, woo! Just to get that go dog. Yeah. So then it's the next morning. And Hannah, who's one of the new girls, who I like Hannah, but she was the one who called herself Ratchet last week. She's like, I'm so ratchet. I spent my childhood going to like shelter island.

I'm so ratchet. So ratchet. Have you ever been to the Hamptons? Ratchet. I mean, R-A-T-C-H-E-T ratchet. I'm like, oh, okay, spelling B ratchet. She's like a schoolgirl, like a perfect child. Like, I was nationally ranked with tennis. I mean, does it get more ratchet than that? Am I right, everyone? That's coming up a lot this week on Bravo, though. I'm not as nationally ranked as tennis.

It's like both these shows. Both these shows today are in the Hamptons. Hamptons, both the tennis. Yeah, we have Tinsley later like, I'm not so in ranked. Oh, it's like Ivan Lendel's gonna come out. So, it's a big Ivan Lendel fan base over here to my right.

They're like, yes. These crazy girls are sitting in the van. He has no foul between D&O. You got their like tiny house Christmas trees over there. They put their legs up there, settling in. They're like, give us some more specter content. So Hannah's like, if I had known that there'd be so much tension and fighting right off the back, I would have just gone to house across this reed with Jordan in page.

I'm so ratchet! I'm so ratchet! Oh my god. I totally have the budget for my own summer house, so I could do a ratchet. I don't think you know what ratchet means. And also, if you have your own budget to get the house across the street, why the fuck wouldn't you? Why would people live on purpose with that many people?

You don't do that shit on purpose, especially these people. You've seen the show. Well, I think even Hannah would be mortified to be like, yeah, this summer rental with someone in Jordan, someone in page, like you're like, oh, that's just like, that's more basic than I can handle, you know.

You know? Now this Hannah is another confusing forest cuz she's like Kristen. She's like ooh like she has that deep boys I know you guys I know someone goes he doesn't have a jerky head though. Yeah Okay, so then Jordan's dream. Oh my God. So we come from everybody waking up. Waking up all hungover, whatever. To Jordan, who's watching church on this laptop in bed.

Oh my God. Really. Like, I'm not against your religion. Okay. But you were just trying to fuck like five people without a condom. Yeah. 10 minutes ago. You know what I mean? I mean, I know God for his friends with the,

Jesus was friends with the hooker and everything, but you're taking it far. He's like, I was watching church on, uh, uh, uh, he's like, how many? Oh no, I'm sorry, I was reading it in Jordan, but it's the preacher. He's like, how many times? And you're walk with God.

Did you feel like God doesn't love you anymore? The minute I was cast on SummerHot, I was like, you know what? Yeah. God is no longer paying attention. Yeah. Yeah. He loved you more than he did yesterday.

Your abs are tied up today than they were yesterday. I went to this kind of church too. This is how I grew up. I just don't understand the whole wanting to watch that. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer.

Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer.

Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. Connects the summer. They're going to come together and have fun and Kyle is excited. He's talking about Lindsay because he and Lindsay have known each other for a while. He's like, Lindsay and I, we butt heads, but this time around, she did some fucked up shit. She unfaul'd us on Instagram. That's right. There's a way forward after that. So then Lindsay, so here's one of the reasons why I can't say on Lindsay. She shows up wearing two different forms of vertical stripes, okay? She has, I love a new draw line.

She drew a line and they were all going down. She first had a bathing suit that was a vertical to stripes and then she had a cover up over it that was a vertical stripe. I'm like, you know what, fuck you. Don't do that. It's not right. It's not right. And then she was holding a coffee mug

that was horizontally striped. I was like. That was really rude. Oh yeah, Lindsay's like, hi young. Like that's how she says hi. Hi young. We're going to the beach. Um, I think the beach makes everything better. I think we're going to have a bigger conversation with I'm like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I conversation with Al. I mean, we're not gonna be in a conversation with Al. Yeah, maybe she's just being around any better. I'm only... I'm only... I'm not everyone in the world.

She's on my side, Mo. You gotta take responsibility, man. I'm crying that you're out. She's sort of like the basic version to even flow, you know, like... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha You know like Yeah, she's like a car like people drive I think in Cincinnati I'm only judging this based on my hotel room, but this is what I hear a lot Like we're downtown who's driving like that? You have to stop every five seconds who is driving like? And then I keep hearing you shut the fuck up What is going on out there?

We come out and everyone's like hey, how you doing? Just hide all this shit under the bed the second we came outside today Place is fucking crazy. I know. Here's a crazy town so far. So then we go to hand away. Uh, uh, uh, burble, burble, burble, burble. Right. So then we go to hand in page who are getting ready in their room. And Hannah's like, Oh my God. Look at my dick. I made like, Oh my God, yeah, the spray time I'm noticing, when are'm already seeing it. What are we going to do? What are we going to do?

And then I was like, whatever, no one will notice. And they just like literally everyone's going to notice. And then when we see our bikini later, it's like maybe this big, like two fingers big. Yeah. And it's like going all the way up here. This is like brown. Brown. Brown.

I'm going to post that on my millennial, multi-media, company's webpage. Yeah, I make viral videos. Yeah. That is some real creator content right there. Yeah, so now it's like time to like go to the beach. So we get our first Trixi Monical song of the episode Which is... Summer House is where Trixi really comes alive. This is where she really wrote tests for new material, you know? This is where they're just like, Trixi, you're gonna have an artistic freedom to do whatever

the fuck you have. You wanna do more than one line? You're welcome. Let's do it. All right, all right. I got some good stuff I've been working on. I've been workshop with some new sounds I learned when I went to Denmark, okay?

Here we go. We're so happy that summer's here, dance all day, and not with no care. Okay, wrap that one up, put that one out there, wrap it up. Put repeat marks at the end, and just keep it going. We're so happy that summer's here. I rhymed here with care.

Okay, good, good. But I don't think she got the footage while she was writing this song. It's like, summer, summer, summer, summer. And it's like a dark day at the beach and they're always talking to each other. Yeah. And I don't know if you guys have ever been on the beach in the Hamptons, but it's stones. It's little Chinese, it's like gravel that you're walking on. It's just like the saddest day ever. And Carl is like, uh, Jones, every day at the beach

is a good day. We're at that only t-shirt somewhere. Yeah, yeah. So there's a for the Jones. Yeah. So, uh-huh. And then Jordan, he's just gotten home from church in bed. He's, Jordan's like, my melons.

Talk about your tits, get it? I know, anyone that Sunday, scariest gems in Daniel's like, full force, my God, even when you say full force is trying to hard, just calm down. It's like, full force, I have a presentation. Like what happened to Party Danielle, you know?

Now we're gonna hear this about her presentation. And Carl's like, yeah, at the sales quarter, like I'm at 24,000, I'm supposed to put sell 60. Yeah, I have to sell like 60,000 more dollars the next four days, but it's no problem, no problem at all, you know? Tried to call Dennis. Everybody on Bravo's just calling Dennis too late. You guys have so many

parallels between today and New York. I'm telling you because New York, I'm like, oh, I need it $6 million. So of course I call Dennis. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. so hard how on a field link can you be I mean me but So Lindsey's like I want to have some tough discussions We have to finally decide or my boobs can go to the left or to the right. Yeah Was it gonna be gonna be yeah, we're gonna have some tough discussion But only not too tough and then she picks a piece of melon and pursuit up and she's like And then she picks a piece of melon and pursued up and she's like And Carl's like wait, Jens, I got a good one for this

The forecast today at the beach Cloudy with a chance of argument got it nailed it nailed it nailed it nailed it Jens nailed it I don't know you're sitting next to a couple of meatballs Lindsay's just just sitting next to a couple of meatballs eating a prosciutto and melon, okay? So things get really tense. That would make sense, actually, with Lindsay's new lick. Cloudy with the chance of, damn, are those meatballs, Lindsay G? Look at that. Cloudy with a chance of vertical strides.

So. So Danielle, so things get really tense. I don't know if you guys picked up on this moment, because Danielle's, they're eating food awkwardly and Daniels like, Oh, Hey, did you cook this chicken this morning and Amanda's like I cooked it for dinner on Friday Remember when you just had to go to Jolan

That's a bunch barbecue. I love that. That's exactly how I would do it to I'm totally passive aggressive like that. Yeah, I made this for you on Friday, actually. Chicken tastes better after it's totally excluded and then follow it on Instagram. Yeah. So maybe if you followed me on Instagram, you'd know when I'd made it.

So girl's like, I think we need to address some very simple things so we can move on. I sent that email venting, okay? We still don't understand what we did to get you guys, like hammering us like that. And Lindsay's like, you kind of just called me and said, who does that? Why would I call you after you just cut my girlfriend's face

out of an Instagram post? Yeah. Why would? And I hate that I'm thinking like that. I'm like, what would I do? No, I agree. I think Lindsay's totally wrong in the situation. If we took a picture with someone here today and they cropped me out and left a bin and

they're you're dead to me forever. Okay? I convinced about these people being shallow, but fuck you. Okay? Yeah. And like Kyle cheated on Amanda so you're going to unfollow Amanda. Like how does that work? Unfollow Kyle.

Kyle. So, um. So yeah, so they're talking about this. And meanwhile, I think, really randomly, they cut to a hand, they're playing some stupid game with like a paddling ball. They're like, just playing this game. And then a hand picks up a horseshoe crab

and starts playing with a horseshoe crab. Yeah, then she puts it down, she's like, it's dead, that's not nice. I was like, what? You just picked up a dead horseshoe crab on she's like, it's dead. That's not nice. I was like, well, you just picked up a dead horseshoe crab on camera to play a ball. Well, it's better. I thought she was playing with a live one

from your first story. I was like, now you're dead to me. Like, everyone on this show is going to be dead to me by the time we do the show. That horseshoe crab is going to be the next cast member. So Danielle's like, I don't want to approach this conversation like finger-pouring a blame game, which makes no sense. But then Lindsay's like, I'morning a blame game which makes no sense. But then Lindsay is like,

um, I'm somebody in a while, finger-painting a blame game. And then Carl's like, feel like I should be here for moral support, but wish I was offered by them, and they're playing with the dead crab. Like that's how bad it was. Yeah, you'd rather play with like a dead living fossil. I looked it up, actually Horser Cribs are actually called living fossils. When do we get to talk about Jordan's winning hinge again? Because they cut to Jordan, they show that scene again where Jordan's like, I was named the most eligible bachelor.

Yeah, that's winter. And they sewed a clip of his page, his hinge page, and it's him. I mean, doing the typical like skinny guy, I don't know what it is this stance where he's like, his legs up like this. He's like, he moves his hip up, it's a really weird pest. And also his crazy eyes are looking away and kind of closed.

Because you know how they, people trick you with their pictures and you show up and they're Jordan with crazy eyes. I... Just too wide. Okay, it says Holly Hunter face. Yeah, Holly Hunter face, yes. Yeah. Yeah, but like Holly Hunter face, only for the piano where she had to see Harvey's weiner.

Harvey Kai tells weiner. Harvey Kai tells weiner. And a pack went's weenie. Harvey Kitell's weenie. And a pack went ahead to watch her mother get her finger chopped off. Everyone who saw that movie left like that. The horseshoe crab was like that. The horseshoe crab. That's how the horseshoe crab died. He was like, I just saw the piano.

All my horseshoe crab friends were like, you got to see the piano. So I finally rented it and I just saw the piano all my horses you crap friends were like you got to see the piano so I finally rented it and I just I just died There's like a whole like horses you crap film society, you know You they have special speakers that come by discuss Jane Campion was at that screening. I heard Jane Campion She's dying over here She's like I'm on lendle. Oh, crab, the film. So, no, I hold on after read his thing. So is hinge, which is so funny to me, because it's like that's always like the squeaky thing in your house. Like everyone

hates a door. No one likes a hinge, okay? No. Okay, so it says, I'm looking for someone that can get dressed up and handle herself at a social event, but it's comfortable and PJs in no makeup eating ice cream on the couch with me. Oh shut the fuck up. Shut up. You would date a girl with an ice cream. Shut up. That's like that. I can't even know words. No words. I'm like disgusted. Really. So they're still fighting by the way on the beach and then out of nowhere, Lindy's like, um, can we just like put our source down for a minute, which is like such like PR marketing talk. You know, I'm like, me about our pizza be source down, we're with our frozen down for a minute. We're friends. So, and then they just all hug and everything's fine. Yeah,

cause the cow, we are friends. They have to go all over. And that was just all hug and everything's fine. Yeah, because the cow, we are friends. They hug and it's all over. And that was it. They're entire fire, which was like squashed in that moment. But the girls behind them abusing a dead thing. Yeah. And I'm like, you just said you caught me out of photos and pages like, you caught me. Ah! They all think they're so above it. I give them two weeks before they're like, oh my god, who ate my girl cheese? That is all I can eat with that girl cheese. I was in the house. Let me eat it. I'm dirty. I'm dirty. I'm dirty. I'm dirty. I'm dirty. I feel like we

were really robbed of seeing pages reaction to that horseshoe crab because you know she did not like that thing. She doesn't like anything and I love that they got such an uptight lileth to be in this house. Yeah, because every little thing she's like, that's not how we do it at mom's house. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap-ins-commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday,

parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So now everyone heads back to New York City so we have another tricky monical song. She's like, tonight is my not to let go, to feel on top of the world Tonight is my light night to let go to feel back on top of the world. They're driving back to work They're taking the like long L.I.E You know tricks is I'm like god damn it. That was not the scene. This was written for the going to work

So we're back in your city. Oh, now the cocaine is back to brain. Was that one, Paul? That had a nice ring to it. I like that. You know, that has some on the road while, man, in on the road while you might have heard the song when I was on the road, it's called on the road again. Yeah. So we're back in New York City and we're at Kyle's apartment. Amanda's like, I do like Amanda, but man,

she can really be like a wet rag. She's like, Oh, knock knock. Kyle, hi, knock knock. Look, Kyle, an air rating my own mocking. Kyle Hynochma. Kyle Hynochma.

The narrating my own mocking. Kyle Hynochma. Kyle Hynochma. And she's also one of those people who opens the door with her own key and knocks and says, not not, you know, just imagine what a sad story. She's Kyle doing a loan in that apartment, you know. Just imagine what a sad, she's Kyle doing alone in that apartment, you know. Yeah.

So she comes in and he's like, hey Amanda, how's it going? I'm poop. I'm pooped. I'm pooped. I'm pooped. And he goes, you got a poop? I'm pooped.

I'm tired, Kyle. He's like, so we're going to talk about apartments today, or what? Isn't it crazy that last time this year was the first time we talked about moving ending out there and your feelings like completely changed. Like now you're so serious about it and it's so real. Great story Amanda. That's so real.

That's so real. That's so real. So Kyle is like, yeah, the reason why I want to move him with Amanda is because I want to marry her. Anyway, hey, remember when I cheated on you? Yeah, because we don't know if this is a secret. Like, Kyle's one of those, he's like the jacks, I guess, of course, I really like Kyle.

I do not really like Jacks. I really like Kyle though, I think he's nice. But yeah, he's the guy who uses the blackout excuse to just fuck off this Hill, he's like, but I was blacked out. So yeah, so I don't know this scandal. They're talking about this year where Lindsey's like, well he's cheating and then now he's all mad around. I'm going to train him. She they made it sounds like yesterday, right? Yeah, this must have just happened, but it's over a year ago, which means this was like before they were It sounds like yesterday, right? Like this must have just happened, but it's over a year ago, which means this was like before they were shooting the last season, right?

Yeah, and on top of that, the way they presented in the first episode, they mean it seemed like it's this big secret that Lindsay was gonna have to like shoulder and when are they gonna talk about it? But like Amanda already knows about it. So they're just talking about it and cause like,

Amanda, basically, I was blacked out, I was drunk, I don't remember her name, she may have been a horse who grabbed, I don't even know. I don't remember her name or what she looks like, that's worse, you know? Like if you cheat on me, it better be with someone way hotter with the cuter name and better numerology. Like I wanted a good reason,

that they were blacked out, I want you to do it on purpose. I want you to use a whole pass or something. Be like, I cheated on you, but this guy was fucking amazing. He was hot. He was gorgeous. He was rich. I'd be like, do it again and bring me dinner. Yeah.

Don't just say you fuck some rando. You know, then you have to wait six months to sit in the SDD clinic or whatever. Right. It's very like a non-paper or whatever, just like waving it in the wind to see what you got this week. No, I want a hot, fuck a hot clean rich person. Hot.

Clean. Clean is really important. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck somebody, the fuck somebody in their office because you know that they're just working all the time, but they don't even have time to go get an STD, okay? No. No.

Fuck someone literally on Wall Street. Yeah. Okay, and then get back to me. Yeah, like a good like Ponzi-Skis person. Yes. Who's like, I'm busy. You fuck Ponzi? Yeah. Ponzi-Skis person.

Yeah, okay, that's pranking regulation. Yeah, like they're screwing old people by the same time they're screwing you, yeah. Hot. Yeah, that's hot. That man won't buy a tiny house. That man will buy you a real house. I mean, tiny houses are the limsy's of real estate, okay how am I gonna know that you're not gonna drink too much again?

No. How am I gonna know? Like am I just making guacamole for no reason? Like this guacamole has to go towards a future. Hi all. It's so hard to trust you. Like, what if you have that extra drink and he's like, but there's no reason

that I should be drinking like that, right? Cause I'm 35, so I should know how to moderate my drinking now. It's like, okay, great, let's get married. So different from being 34. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's funny, we were just at South by Southwest this week and the entire time I was there, I felt like it was a festival full of kiles.

Like everyone there, it was just like all kiles, just all kiles everywhere. Didn't you feel that way? And it's like all, then of course, we had to- It felt like it was smelly, you know, South by Southwest everyone's outside and awesome all day, it's very hot. Yeah, I just imagined a bunch of kiles

but with sweaty butt cracks, Like I'm not into that. That got a huge snow for me. That whole place. Next time indoors with air conditioning. Okay, Kyle? Yeah. Kyle. Yeah.

Kyle's in charge of it. Kyle. So now we get to learn a little bit more about our newbies. Okay. So we see, unless there's anything else you want to say about. Kyle, I forgot about those part. This is funny. I'm just reading it. So we see Paige, she's doing like a fashion shoot. She's like, Hannah, Jordan and I all work for the same millennial media company.

What does that mean? Is it called millennial? To turn off the television. I mean like, yeah. So, because you know in private, they're like, Millennial So's. So, so we all do very different things like, I do this crazy thing. I like, I like, I like, quiet back there. Quiet.

Make me come to your ass. Listen to your Millennial media. Don't make me get up Millennial media. Yeah, Millennial. Listen to your Millennial So's. Millennial's. I'm doing media. Don't make me get up, millennial media. Yeah, millennial. Listen here, millennial, so sh. Millennials. I love you, shut up. So Paige is like, yeah, millennial, so sh,

but I read you very different things. Like I write fashion articles and all two looks for less. Like I take really expensive looks and then I do an inexpensive taste on it. I'm like, so raw, stressed for life yeah why don't you just say that Marshall's you're an ambassador for Marshall's if you want to earn my respect just say raw stress for life okay so now Jordan oh my god I think I hate Jordan he goes I think this is the moment when I really turned he goes our

company connects brands with people looking for their content. I was like, ah! I mean, some of those douche bags on Starbucks pretending he's on the phone, but you know if that phone rang, you would hear it. Like, he's totally lying. Yeah. He's like, yeah, but like, if we can give him, if we can give him 20 million impressions, then we can lock them in like the one-hider. It's a CPM.

Is there like a CPM on that impression? Is this CPM that we can do like a click through that we can do? We're really trying to open the kimono on this topic. No. And then he's playing that thing. Yeah, I used to do garage shelves for my sister, and then I would sell her stuff back to her.

So you're a fucking brownster basically. You'm like, so you're a fucking monster basically. You're an asshole. You're an asshole. You're a horrible human being. Like, you went to your sister's room, you stole all her shit and made her pay to get it back. That's not smart, that's like robbery. We all know he's one of the people

that bought a cabana at Fire Fest, right? Woo! He got a cabana. He's like, little yoddy and blink one any two. I'm in He's like how many impressions is that gonna got bad? I can be that oh my god. I totally apply for something a fuck Jerry So then we cut So then we cut the Hannah he would give a blow job for a bottle of water, but honestly, yeah, who wouldn't I mean that's a good reason

Okay, so Hannah's like, I'm just gonna say. I only wanted to be a tennis player, but then like, when that ended, like I was miserable again, but then I found joy making viral videos. Yeah. Like, here's one of me putting some cake in someone's face. Viral.

It's not herpes on my lip, it's cake. Viral. Viral! Viral. Meanwhile, all through the word for a media company that I could crush us, I don't care. So, uh-huh. So then we go, we see Kai. Try to crush me. Yeah.

Try. Please. Come at me, Soesh. Come at me, Millennial Soesh. Yeah. No, don't. Oh my god. Millennial Soesh is like my nightmare coming after me. Millennial Soesh. Mill, don't. Oh my God, Millennial Sosh is like my nightmare coming after me.

Millennial Sosh. Millennial Sosh. How did you say that? It's like my worst nightmare. Be quiet, Millennial Sosh. We love you. We respect you. We totally do.

So now we go to, they work for betches.com, by the way. No, it's my strawless drinking, everybody. How do you feel about it? Wow. We are so progressive. We could be a millennial content creator. Yeah So I'm gonna drink out of a dead crab I'm sorry. They lived a viral video about horseshoe crabs So now Carl and Kyle are at the gym call and call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl,

Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl,, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl,, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, That's hard. If I don't hit my quota my job's on the line, bro Girls for girls girls for girls for girls

more life more life Gras okay, so then Page in a matter of meaning we get a trixi song. It's like We're coming up we're coming out we're coming out we're coming out we're coming out we're coming out oh sexy I love that she's such a littoralist like someone's walking across the street across the street who's walking across the street or am overcado overcado overcado toast please I'll make a toast I'll make a toast. I'll make a toast to avocado toast. So I'm at it like, hi, I was the most thinking I was like, I was like, no, I'm gonna go party with page.

And I'm at a page is like, ah, why were you supposed to do it with couch? You guys probably said it is place to watch and work. Which is so true. That's all they do. Pages like, oh my god, I never just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like Next on this really embarrassing song. So meanwhile Kyle at the gym is asking Carl, like, hey, what do you think about Paige? Yeah, she's sort of hot, right? You enter her, et cetera. And we see a flashback of Carl and Paige going, like, driving in the Hamptons and talking about going

to McDonald's and Paige is like, I want to have McDonald's at my wedding. And he's like, well, sounds like we're going to get married. Girls for girls, more life. More life. Put your weight on me. Yeah. Put your McDonald's weight on me.

Oh, really? Yeah. So then back with the man in the impage, the man is like, Jordan, we're selling someone like you guys were like talking. And he's like, no, but what about Carl? Carl wears short shorts. I can't.

I can't. How did they get Paige to be on this show? I know. I feel like they just clouted Paige over the head, put her on a trunk and she just woke up here. Like, see, don't know where she is, who she is. No, they told her that she was going to go to a screening of like something on FX. She's way too intelligent to be on this

FX. So now it's July 4th weekend and everyone's going to start driving out to the Hamptons. So it's like oh oh my god, the Camilla. Jummy and the dogs, that jummy and the dogs side. It's like, why would you sing that on the widest show ever? You know? Like, so Lindsay and Jordan and Hannah are in the car together. And Jordan's like, because there's a little display in the middle, you know those car play things. How many time, how many marriages have those broken up? Where your text just suddenly appear on the screen. That is terrifying. Have you guys ever,

do you guys have that in your car? The air put car play. Oh my God, I had one in a rental one time. It was mortifying because you're shit. Once you sink it to your phone, it just showed your whole phone's right there for whoever's in your car. First is Tristan. Nozie. Those are not made for gay people, okay? Any gay person knows that you never have a preview up of any text you ever got, okay? Like, oh my god, you got a text from a hot dog. Hot dog! Hot dog! So, I have Lindsay.

Her texts were just like all up there, and she apparently has like 51 texts from Abra. Abra? Abra? And we actually, believe it or not, we actually have some of those text messages here. Yeah, yeah. You want to read some of the text messages? Yeah. Yeah.

Lindsay. I hope you're having a great July fourth weekend. I just took a shit in the toilet. And I was sitting there and it hurt so bad. And I thought, man, I miss how you up me so bad. I hope you have a wonderful time and a good drive. I'll see you on the road, everyone. Lindsay, I can't find my keys. Every time I look at it, I'm like keep goin' into my rock pocket.

Boomin''s my nuts. Keep thinking, God, I remember when Lindsay had my nuts. Then she let him go. Do I have a neat keys? Do I have a neat nuts? Where am I going to drive her? Spooch without you, Lindsay. Lindsay. I went to Starbucks this morning, ordered a

Venti and they gave me a grand as I would have even heard. I want a size that's bigger than this. Speak for a big man like me. Once could be with a lovely lady like you. Yeah, Lindsay, it was tough, but I got through it. Got a different cup. Yes, truly, ever. Lindsay, I just fired it. Shrug emoji. Face to palm emoji eggplant eggplant eggplant dash e word gif of shikilu nil going

I am so glad we had those text messages wow sometimes you forget what poetry really is. Wow. You forget what a gentleman he is. What a romantic. Vietnam gave us a lot of horrible things, but it also gave us effort. I have to say something. When we were flying into Cincinnati, some of of you who are really attentive to the show,

know I've been like casually watching the documentary, the 10-part documentary, The Vietnam War. 10-part, like the umbrella Academy. It's an excellent document. So I'm finding the last installment. I'm at the, I'm at the, in the very, like the last 30 minutes of the entire show, they talk about The Vietnam Memorial.

It's like very dramatic and very sad. And we're watching on the airplane. And on top of that, as we're coming into Cincinnati, you know, there were these tornadoes. And so our plane is like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it was like we were bouncing around. And I'm like a combination of like holding onto my iPad and also like trying not to cry.

I'm like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and I look over to see what Ron is doing and he's seeing their playing doodle jump. He's like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, and I just cracked up. I was like, we were having two totally different flights. And this is why I love Ronnie. Wow, doodle dance.

This is why I love Ronnie. You know what I'm talking about, right? You know, you were playing it. Yeah, because I couldn't get spell tower to work, because bands like Smart, you know? So it's like, Ben, what are you watching? The Vietnam War documentary. I'm like, serious.

For like months, okay? Ben, what are you playing the New York Times Crosser Castle? Ben, what are you reading? The Underground Railroad, which is by the way, this big, okay? And I'm playing, I tried to play spell towers, like could be like, ooh, words, but it didn't work. So I was like, I wonder what Dito jump is like in a hurricane, you're a tornado, whatever the fuck it was. Still suck out of the apparently weather didn't help. It was just two totally different entertainers

that happened. And we land. And I was like, how's that, how's that Vietnam war document? Are you going in? And he goes, you know what? Nixon was really a fucker. I mean that guy was really a fucker. I mean, when more than I even knew. It's true. He is a fucker. Okay, so... So back to Vietnames. Summer house. Back to Arby at mom. Summer house, just kidding. Jazz kidding. Lost again. All right, I will catch us again. I will catch us up to where we are.

So where we are. So we're driving out there. And Lindsay has gotten like 50 messages from Eriot because Everett and I, like, got back together in the fall. But then, like, oh, I broke all my gums, but line gets like the line of warmth. And I then like, like, way broke up, like, but like, it's like, like, what? And I don't know, like,

it makes me think about him. So like, I don't know. Yeah. Right. Sing a little. My little, my little, more than done.

I am. I got a gun. It's like, Lindsay just acts like dick falls on her face. Like, you're walking, you're walking, man, some like rocks falling sign. You know, it's like, well, yeah like Dick falls on her face. Like you're walking, you're walking massive, like rocks falling sign. You know, I was like, well, yeah, I was walking down the side. And I'm perfect, I'm not ever filming.

I'm not filming, I'm just power-stricken. So meanwhile, Jordan is like driving this car. And he's like, I think that like, me and Hannah, I'm like a drunk and make a... Ah, ah, hinge, Mariah. Yeah, and Hannah's like in the back seat going, I'm like, yeah, about like maybe, well, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry. I'm like, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna cry. And then Jordan and Jordan's like, I've always had any girl that I choose.

But, you know, I'm like, if you can have any of them, who do you pick? You know, so hard hinge. It's just a charm life. What can I say? Oh my gosh. Of Shenandoordi. I feel bad for guys like Shenandoordi. I feel bad for guys like Jordan, you know, because like they have some semblance of a body or whatever, like they have all the tools to be cute, but then you fuck them and you're like, oh my god, they're talking. And you just kick them out, you know? Yeah.

And that's rough. That's a rough life to lead. Yeah, you know, here, it's like it reminds me of when you're playing a video game and you can make your own character and you're like, ooh, I'm gonna call it one bin. I'm making like really sexy and then you like make it like all these things. And then when you start playing with your like video game character You're like this is a wonky ass character that I've made for myself Yeah, like when you're looking at Zillow at houses and then you walk into one in the waters brown and it smells funny

Yeah, it's like when you like or look up a place at Zillow and you show up there and it's just like an empty lot And you're like hmm. Let's hoping for more. So you're promising. Where do I put my penis? That's hoping for more. So you're promising. Where do I put my penis? So then, Trixie comes in with, Trixie's not making any effort anymore. She's like, fuck this show. They're not using my songs in the right place.

So now she's just going, Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na. She was tracking eBay auctions. She was just like watching me. Oh, I gotta do a song. Okay. Na na na na na na na na na. Yeah was just watching the else. I got to do a song. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just do that one poll.

Yeah. So they all show up at the house. There's a bunch of Amazon Prime packages, which I still remember. Sorry Steven, sorry. I feel like this was a big fuck you to Steven. I'm having all these Amazon Prime. Wait, I don't remember why.

Wait, what? Steven was constantly ordering Amazon Prime and every time they got there, there were multiple boxes waiting, and they'd be like, who are the boxes, run? He's like, man. And then he got that big blow up. Let me talk about that big blow up,

that gay unicorn, rainbow unicorn thing. And this time, they're like, yeah, it's kiddin' another one, but bigger than Stevens. They really did show him up with that. So they forget the house like yeah for the July weekend. I mean it's like I'm sick. Okay. Instead of talking like this Kyle, Matt is like this. Yeah, like the sad. She's like turning into Red Room child. So, so Paige is making dinner and this is so cute. So her mom possibly named Francesca,

because I still don't understand. I still don't understand your... Francesca who just did start show today. Yeah. Paige's mom, who's a bitch. Go ahead, then. I feel like she's like the second coming of Colley's mom from Bologdeck Mage.

She's like, Colley, I'm like Paige, I'm gonna show you how to make some pasta with tomatoes. All right, what you do is you add some balsamic vinegar and just put it like that. That's all, Paige. Yeah, they make my to-releant tomatoes. It turns out he is what you do.

You cut my to-releant tomatoes and put them on a plate. I'm like, you needed to make a video of that. All right, you boil the water for eight to 10 minutes. I don't know, just look. Just look if it's bubbling, then it's ready. Then you put the pasta in, you know? Because the thing is, all of our moms have done that to us. Like my mom definitely has.

I did not need a video tape of my mother teaching me things. Oh, I've been on long conversation. My ex-loops. That's a shame you had to make this dinner, but we're gonna start with a question. Why do you need dinner? Could you skip a meal? Okay. Here's what you're getting.

Nothing. I'll send you another one for breakfast. My, my mom's would be like, all right, Ben. So first, what you want to do is you want to put the flame, medium, Ben, so first what you wanna do is you wanna put the flame medium, medium high, whichever one you want, just take your time with it, be careful, don't burn yourself, let it bubble,

your father and I are so proud of you. You know, we were driving into the city the other day and the traffic was really bad. So we took 95. Turns out it's a lot faster. Like, mom, what happened to the recipe? You never eat. That's why you're thin, you know?

I just made boiling water for myself. OK, so a mystery box arrives. And it's a Jello Shot machine. Betsy is very excited about that. That's easy to do the Jello Shot's down there. Yeah. So Hannah was... I was pro grade.

I had a margarita machine. And then the next year I went pro grade, margarita machine. So I thought, how can I top myself this year? I like that Kyle's just trying to top himself. Yeah. With bizarre drink machines. They will never be able to top the season one BBC's that they made which in Gailin go stands for Big Black Hawk. So the fact that they kept it the same that for an entire season was like

a dream come true. So Hannah just starts flirting with a Jello shop machine guy because she's just bored and has nothing to do. Shane! Shane? Yeah, it's like, hi Shane, you're a specialist. And he's like, um, the machine, I mean, I know how to turn it on. So he's like,

yeah, yeah, you do. Hey, just like put your penis back in your pants, please, Hannah. Oh. Oh. And it tells us, if you're in my vicinity and you're above six feet, I will blur. What's your favorite color?

What's your favorite shot? Shane, wanna try our pasta? Shane, do you get turned on by a ratchet girls who are nationally ranked tennis players? Oh, no! Shane is a two-out dente. Look, there's no sexual equal to that, Hammer. I just looked over here, there's a guy like this.

Hmm. I don't appreciate this. Pasta humor. The good thing about summer houses, you literally just have to read what they say because it's so stupid. Shame! It's a two out 10 day. That wasn't answering the New York Times crosswords today, by the way, I'll 10 day. That's what happens every time you finish this line of course.

And he's like, It's a great feeling. So I mean, too. I'm like, score. I've got a smart friend finally. I've got a friend I can say, how do you pronounce this? So basically Danielle shows up, which we're so excited about. I was so sorry.

I'm pleased. This is my fault, because it was like I was finished right, but I wasn't. Because there's more Hannah flirting She goes hey you want a piece of cheese? I think we can all support that kind of flirting Like she is terrible with this and this isn't a house of people that are terrible Yeah, I'm also speaking of cheese. I just have to say I'm like so excited to be just a few mere miles from the home of Kentucky Beer Cheese. That is thrilling.

Unfortunately, Jackson's too busy with his marriage. Yeah. She made Kentucky Beer Tees. I double checked on Instagram and made sure he was in Los Angeles. He and Brittany will not be making any appearances at this show. I'm sorry to say. So Danielle arrived.

She's like, hey, they're taking the horse. Took him for a day. I'm wacky. I'm wacky. I'm a fucking girl. Dick, dick, dick, dick. I just killed my PowerPoint presentation. Tricks, he's like, I will not write her a song.

And Jordan's like, hey, Danielle. So I can't say my gin and bishops. You killed Chicky. Oh my God. For people listening at home, our fake Jiggy just did a real Jiggy thing and passed out. Hope that wasn't a sign. Stay with us little guy.

We'll just stop calling you Harrison. Who will be Wolfie to Wolfie Blue? Wolfie! I'll never send you to Shelley to... Anyway. He's like a douche. I cancelled my membership because like walking outside is like a sauna. Anyway, he's like George the Dush. I canceled my membership because like walking outside is like a sauna.

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. We should treat ourselves with like a hot tub or like a pool or like putting your penis in my vagina. Am I still being smooth? Am I being smooth? New Danielle? You want some cheese? So now it's like dinner time, and then sit down.

No, you have to do plenty. I got a tax from Carlito. Carlito. Carlito. I got a tax from Carlito. She's really still trying to make Carlito happening. Yeah, okay, so good to do. So now it's time for dinner, and Lindsay goes,

you literally made dinner for an entire group. It's like, yeah, that's time for dinner and Lindsay goes you literally made dinner for an entire group It's like yeah, it's called fucking dinner. That's how it happens She goes yeah, that's in my family like my mom would do this like every Sunday for the whole family That's why and they go what's the occasion she goes it's Sunday It's evening time and we're hungry, so we made dinner Yeah, and the man is like, um my favorite my friends mommy is to do that I'm like, oh my god, this is so funny. You said your favorite by favorite cars Where your cars are right there?

It's a good sell. Let's talk. I'm following you for a second. I Followed it on Instagram, you know. And so then Kyle and Amanda and Lisa are talking about like, I thought I was like, oh, I accidentally like unfollowed you, but then I didn't want you, I didn't want to follow you again. I was like, they're like joking. This is stupid. Who cares?

Yeah, Amanda goes, I got a joke on that in follow, you guys too. So I'll follow you back now. I'm like, I'll follow you. When are you gonna follow me? I'm gonna follow you after you follow me. I'm not gonna be the other after you back now. I'm like, okay, I'll follow you. When are you gonna follow me? I'm gonna follow you after you follow me. I'm not gonna let each other after you follow me. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. They just like, I would like to unfollow myself

at this point. I would normally be on her side, but she's the one who works at the millennial content company. So, I'm gonna discuss it by everything. This is where I start worrying for this season, because you know, we're so excited when a new show comes back.

Well, it's not really new, but a show comes back that's not, I don't know, real housewives of Atlanta that never leaves the air, you know, it's like week 50 or you know how the housewives go forever. So I'm so excited to have a new show. Last week we were like, summer house is back, this is amazing. And I'm like, you're just getting to the 4th of July party. It's almost over.

Yeah. It's not a good sign. It's not a good sign. So Carl shows up and I don't know if he picked up on this. He's, he's, he's Carl is so Carl. He shows up and he's in a car and he just hear him go, thank you, sir. Oh my god. Shut up, Carl. Thank you, sir. Thank people.

So there's, when he's like Carl, I'm sorry, I'm tannering on the ad from the top of the right nose. Lions are, I don't know what's going on I'm like Carl Carlito a croque each all night Well, I'm like, I'm a man and Carl comes in. He's like, hey Hey, what's up? Yeah, yeah, I didn't make my quota yet, but you know Close Friday's for the quotas and Saturday's for the Gens.

Well, this is just mozzarella and tomatoes. This is awesome. Can I have $30,000? Anyone that would be great. Anyone here? Okay. So tell your mom, I'll make her a video

back of my dick for $30,000. Things. Great. Yeah, thanks very much. Yeah. So now, um, it's the next, next morning. And. Yeah, thanks very much. Yeah. So now it's the next morning. And then there's like, I mean, Tricky Monaco is so off the rails.

Literally, this is what her song was. She goes, yo, my brick. Yeah, yo, my brick. Yeah. It's like them waking up with like, mourning wood and getting like bananas in the beginning of the game. Yo, my brick.

Yeah. I think they're just like putting in random songs at this point. You're like, yo, my brick, yeah. I think they're just putting in random songs at this point. Yeah, this might even try to make sense. So they're basically getting ready for all this stuff and Kyle's running around naked, which I approve of. I really have never hated fuzz like I hate on this show. You know that little fuzz they put? What are you even showing?

You show everything on the other girls. I just looked at the two finger-tam thing on the other other girls bikini. I can at least see a little flop age. Yeah, come on. So then he's like, yeah, I'm dancing around Niko. I'm going to bone him and right now and he jumps on her and she goes, he comes down to her face to kiss her and she goes, it's like avocado gets on his face. Yeah. You guys have been married. It's like you guys have been married for a decade. You're doing so great. Then Shane, the Jello Shock guy, Texas Hanna,

and she's like gross. He actually cares. I'm like, wait, was this the actual plot line about Shane? Were we supposed to be tracking this? This is a real thing. I didn't realize it was Shane when she was doing the see that I was like yeah Shane reaching out screams feelings and I'm not into that

And his name is spelled C-H-E-Y-N-E. I mean Hampton seriously My god. I know. Just smell. I'm just mad at everything right now. So Amanda wakes up and gets what she announces. She's like, I'm gonna make guacamole. I'm getting ready for a good time. Tick tock, tick tock to talk to the song son. Oh Trancy they've this is why you give pretty $5 instead of $100, you know, she's better with less

So Jordan Danielle are just like flirting and everyone's so happy that they're like don't have to deal with either one of them They're just like Karena our own like cone of awfulness in the corner, you know Okay, this is the trihardy a scene of the whole show. So it's where you are too. I don't know. I'm just excited. You have to say this is like the trihardy. Like, do you, does anyone want to go to the trihardware store?

Because that's where we're all night. Oh, no. I know what you're going to say. You know, this is so awkward. So Danielle and Jordan trying to like have chemistry. Oh, my God. The store beverages and less beverages and less. Yeah, Beth.

No. So Danielle's like, Tequila. You can never have enough tequila. And Jordan's like, yeah, this car's like our liquor baby. Like what should we name it? Durant. She goes, Jose after Jose Square, but I was just like,

my stomach hurts. I know. Also, she's hurting Tawatt. Dragging her baby across the floor too, by the way. So they get to check out, and these two women and we're gonna check out, I'm probably like, oh god, these two fuckers, you know? So everyone's like, hey, Danielle,

you got something on your back. Sexy, because it's a birthmark. He thinks it's, he's like, you got some on you, it's like trying to wipe it off. And she's like, it's a birthmark. He thinks his tree's like, you got some mums you're trying to wipe it off. And she's like, it's my birthmark. I mean, you'd know that if you'd gotten rosy with me, it's like, um, should we get lottery tickets? Cause I really want to get lucky then I And then they're paying, they're putting the card in the slide. I got to put this one in.

The clerk was funny though, because he goes, I want to get lucky putting the card in the slide there. I gotta put this one in. The clerk was funny though, because he goes, I wanna get lucky tonight and the clerk goes, Tequila helps. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And then Danielle taking another classic and smashing it on his face in the ground. It's like so. Jordan and I are like the little mermaid.

Cause like, I'm this mystic sea creature, which isn't, you know, little mermaid. Because I'm this mystic sea creature, which isn't some mermaid. But, okay. Less matured, Ariel is not doing PowerPoint presentations in Chicago. Yeah. Ariel's doing a solid graph, like a Google. What is this?

Google member. I'm sorry, you see, I'm not smart. I can't even joke. Ariel's got a spreadsheet. Yeah. So she's like, I'm like a mythical creature another sayer who like D and he's like this traditional man on man Like looks good where I'm from like yeah because if you were underwater you couldn't hear him Someone good thing about the water. That's why my mate's always fucking everybody underwater

You don't have to hear the other person. Does this mean that Lindsay is Ursula? Don't ruin Ursula for me, okay? Ursula is sacred to me. I'm Ursula. Single Ursula! I'm Ursula. I'm like Danielle, come here! Well, they are all poor unfortunate things because you know Danielle is like calming her hair with a fork So he Chris I'm gonna come along

What do you call it dick? Yeah, stick it in I wrote I just had to stop because I saw that note and I was like mmm and then he's like well bye I gotta get into some things tonight because I have the clerks just like god I have a better chance of getting fucked tonight and I'm at work you know okay so then we get Kyle putting on his His wig his molemic some jokes need to die something's just need to go away I'm about to get burned yeah, and we say this is people who drag on the same joke for a little years Literally like years old another little mermaid segment She brought on herself She did she did brought on herself, but I feel like jugs are so old that people are bringing them up now on Bravo.

You know, like they're finally getting around the circle. I think so. So cows like, yeah, I got to step it up because I can't wear the regular mold. Step it up, step it up, step it up! So they spray paint it. So a man does like that. It looked like the French flag. It was not patriotic at all. Unless we're going to give tribute to the service that the

French military did for us during the Revolutionary War. Lafayette. And since we've all seen Hamilton now, or heard the soundtrack, we feel super smart about it. Someone just yelled, Viva from! So Amanda speaks for all of us and she goes, Well that's never a die Kyle. So she's like, she's over it, but it's like an extension of my pursuit of freedom. Like you're trying to get this girl to move in with you, you know?

So then she's like, alright Kyle, I'm gonna spray pink ammo in my only, you know yeah so then she's like all right Kyle I'm gonna spray pink ammo in my only peanut chino mean and cuz that's your last chance Kyle did you like that guacamole you didn't say if you like that guacamole me so Carl's like excuse me Jen saw I have to work for about 30 minutes so I hope you all have a good Jen's time I'm gonna go upstairs then try to fill my quota I only got 20 million dollars left to fill, it's $20,000, so I'll be up here on Pornhead. Oh, fuck. Wrong website.

So then Danielle's trying to make all the girls do shots and she's like, Oh yeah, your nipples aren't hard, you did it wrong. Oh, Danielle, be quiet. Seriously. Be quiet. So, be quiet. So everybody is trying to get wasted and Let's just I just have like a bunch of bullshit really. Yeah, I have I wrote down the note Carl is typing

Because he's like, I'm just gonna type on my laptop. That's on a pillow right now, Jens And I'm gonna bother me. Carl has $10,000 to sell on the 4th of July Where everyone's working and he's like, I'm working for 20 minutes, so I'm getting laid. So Hannah is just chasing any guy she sees. She's like, guys are here. Hey, you like pasta? You know whatever. And she goes, my game with guys is like tennis.

Aggressive. I'm speaking for a reason, all right. So then the guy goes up to page and he's like, I love you. Jack's light. He was cute. I mean, Jack's a horrible human being, but he's a very good looking horrible human being, you know? And this is like a little tiny toy version of him.

He's like this little jiggy version, the plus version of Jacks. And he's another try hard, but Danielle's busy on the other side, so he's like, hey, hey chick, and Paige's like, you know I'm fighting you. You can't sit with us. He's like, you're amazing. She goes, um, Ian, I'm even Naomi.

And he kisses her, she's like, um, I'm a dinner date girl, not a drink scroll. And I'm certainly not a make out in the first 30 seconds girl. No. But if I were one, I have this video for my mother to show me how to be a one. So then we have Jordan, who's like, hey, I'm ready to rock.

I got my pickup lines ready to go. My body's looking good, more concave than usual. I see. Oh, good. You just, I did you plop all these tool floaties yourself and then you guys, with my mouth. Ah. I've been preparing for this my entire spring.

Yeah. Who's going to be the lucky girl? So Port Daniela is over there straddling the llama blow up toy. I mean, I'm like so sad. Carl's still typing upstairs. He's wearing a t-shirt that I don't know. Everything Carl does is just like cracks me up. He's wearing a t-shirt that says salty hair, coconut oil,

hot sun, big waves. I have nothing to add to that. It's just, it's so Carl. It is so Carl. So if Stairs in the bathroom Amanda is touching up Carl's mullet wig and he's wasted already, you know, she's like, ah, I'm saying, how's our drinking going? I know we're at a party in Kyle, but I don't wanna be that annoying girl. I'm just like, then don't be alright, cause we're at a party. Not fun. Yeah.

Well, I'm not expecting a lot from Carl, but we can just little self-awareness. I don't think that's too much to expect from a 35-year-old man. He is literally wearing a wig that looks like the Steel Day, okay? Yeah. You just spray-fated his mullet wig and helped him with his thong. Into the wrong country.

And the Jello shot machine. So then everyone's worst nightmare, Lindsay and Jordan Blank Cornhole. All those airtakes are their charm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. She's like, you gotta get in the hall. And he's like, we're talking about the cornhole. He's like, listen, cornhole puns are too easy and if you're making them shame on you. Feels good to take these thangs sometimes. Once he's like, he's my love's the structure

and me on the more than the wine. And once whenever I got my abs from I rock. to take these stands sometimes. Once he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, That's one hour come out from Iraq. Yeah, romantic sounds so hot. The first time whenever I came back from Iraq, I was so surprised because all the time I thought

he was at a North from Iraq and I was like, oh you're at Iraq. So Amanda comes down and she's like, oh, and Kyle's like talking to some hot girl, of course. You know, which one of me would you think not can I talk to people that it was funny? Because he sees Amanda Amanda he's like Amanda Amanda

He's like I'm sick of hosting now. I just want a party. Yeah, and he has to have that huge like white people bottle of rose It's the same bottle that Christina Gibson like yes, once you had her big stand. She's like, you know what? I'm over this house. I'm gonna walk's like, you know what, I'm over this house. I'm going to walk, you know what, I forgot my prop. I'm leaving now and everyone just stared at her. They're just watching her like. So Lindsay, by the way, she does take off her top. I guess I lost Corn Hall.

So I got to take off my top. So she takes off her top. And the only reason why I really mention that is because it's this great scene, which I don't know if you picked up on this, but Lindsay and Danielle are now chatting after the cornhole and the other top back on. And she's like, oh my God, Danielle, I got topless with Jordan.

I think he's just like a flirty guy. I'm like, you were such an underminer, right? Did anyone else pick up on that? Did anyone else see that? Well, yeah, Lindsay said that to Danielle, yeah. Yeah, because Danielle's like, um, how's my boobs? She goes, yeah, um, I have my boobs because Jordan made a bet that I would sing on my tongue. And then I want some of them to knock off my tongue. And Danielle goes, um, you were topless. And it's like, um, yeah, I mean, what are you saying? Where are you saying you really like this guy the guy that I just got top of some front of was that we were saying Danielle? Are you into him? Are you into him? Are you am I?

Antelope? Well, yeah, I'm just into him like a friend too. It was like he flirting with you I'm like oh my god. I know I don't like like I'm gonna get back in the game girl I'm gonna get like you totally all yours and totally giving him up for you Yeah, I won't get I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm totally, I'm totally, I'm totally, I'm totally, I'm totally, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, Oh! Like what? Oh! Wow. She full on looks like she is about to ask the manager about why her Entre has an arrest. She's like, wow, wow, wow. Then we cut to Amanda. Now Kyle's wasted.

He's tucking from that giant rose A bottle and Amanda's like, Hi, all. And so she can't stop him because he's already wasted. So now she changes her rules because that's what Amanda does. So she's like, well, I guess as long as he like stays within the perimeter of this property world, We've watched her just lower her standards of the course the past 45 minutes of this party As long as he's breathing As long as he doesn't throw up on me All right new rule As long as he wakes up in the morning as long as he wait as long as he wipes off the vomit that he had All right, he's not doing that either

So everyone's wasted now even page which is really cute to see I love that page can still keep her wits about either. So everyone's wasted now even Paige, which is really cute to see. I love that Paige can still keep her wits about her even when she's wasted. You know? She's like, this is really tacky. Paige is definitely one of us, for sure. So Hannah is their both sitting on Carl's lap. And she's like, Hannah, Hannah,

guess why I thought L llama prettier than me? I miss that. Oh, God. I'm really, the llama that Danielle's like trying to hold in the corner. I'm like, that's a llama. God, I really like this girl.

And Carl goes, oh, I just agreed, Jen. And then, he's like, I disagree to Hannah. Like, you're way prettier than that Lama. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I hit my Lama quota today. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So then Hannah starts making out with Carl, but they're both still on his lap. So Paige is like, ah, what's happening? What's going on with the three of us right now? And Hannah goes, I feel like we're on the same, it's just page. So how I missed all that. How did I miss Hannah making up with Carl?

I think it's because I reached for a chocolate pretzel. I just, anytime Paige is on, I'm like, I can't wait to see what boring thing she's doing. I know, I love Paige. I think Hannah and Paige are great. Yeah, I do too. So let's see. So Hannah's on.

The L now is introduced to some guy really thirsty for TV, but I have to say he's so much better than the skeletor guy. He sort of looked like the Cobra Kai guy. You know, he looked like Johnny, what's his face from Karate Kid. The one that's supposed to be the bad one for the entire movie. You know how 50's movies, when guys who all worked out,

they were like big, like that big huge arms, but they weren't ripped. It was like a different way of working out where they're just big, but like, they have no definition. Like there's something hot about that, like this guy's like, he would like wrap a cigarette pack into his sleeve,

which doesn't make sense, because it's gonna fall out eventually. He's got like a giant head and like weird highlights. Yeah, like he's gonna punch you when you show up, dress as a shower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Good call. That's what Daniel is. It's like what would happen if Ralph Macho and the Johnny guy from Crowdy Kid actions that of being rivals or lovers? It would be a great movie. I've been a great movie. I've never really been a Ralph Mottier guy. My name is Daniel Larusso, I remember that because my brother had a friend named Jason Larusso.

I'm not into it. I'm not into like new town. My mom's overbearing. Like been there. Okay. Daniel was a fucker. I'm sorry. Watch that movie. So great music. So basically I'm going to kill you. So basically I went straight for the Roseanne. This is what happened. Sorry, Ronny. That was a good poor. Thank you Hudson. Ludlow. Ludlow Garage. Sorry. Ludlow Garage. Okay, so now this guy is pretending he likes Danielle because he wants to be on TV and it works, you know. Yeah. And so he's flirting with her and Jordan, finally.

Wait, I'm so sorry. We have to talk about the way that she was introduced to this guy. Okay, this random rule goes, Hey, this girl Danielle, she's very successful and she's always DTF. Is that what she said? Yes. Yes. Oh my God, her poor friend. Her friend knows funny.

She's this big, really sweet girl. It's like all of my best friends. You know, she's like, Fuck my friend, please. She has a mermaid complex. Please tank her anybody. Oh my god, mermaid. Like putting another thing.

I'm icing on top of her head just to make her palatable to somebody. Cupcakes, free cupcakes. Cupcakes. The Entomans. OK. It's like you go to a dog part and you put bacon in your pocket. It's like just OK.

So the girl. The girl. So you know, this is why they know what you're talking about, because I wrote, some girl introduces Danielle to some nerd. Danielle is fun. She likes to speak up. And I was like, oh, so sad that that's how Danielle's known to her friends. Like, they're like, Danielle, she'll speak up in a meeting. She will. She's really good at putting clip art into a presentation so this guy

basically he's he is really cute and he is like being flirty with Danielle and so Jordan from across the way starts to get jealous yeah so I go whoa I'm jealous I have beef now with you sir and. And the guy's like, I can't believe we're both wearing the same polo navy v-neck t-shirt. The way that these guys fight for one is so good. Like, it's so sweet and romantic and douchey. Yeah. They're like, you want to play rock paper scissors for her? Um, I prefer Rochembo.

Sorry, I was getting in Charlie Horse. Oh, literally, you guys. I was like, Ronnie, you don't? Yes. Yes. Hip rotation, hip rotation. Getting a Charlie horse from sitting down. Like seriously, just shoot me. Sput me out of my misery.

Like a horse. So lame horse. So they actually play rock paper scissors for Daniel's honor. But they play this like douchey way that they can only play in the haptoms. They're like, rock, blah, blah, blah. And then they're like, the first round like they slapped their guns. And then the new one, they're like, and then put on like some free sunglasses they got from like an apparel vendor.

So Jordan loses at insult injury. He loses rock paper scissors. Did you notice this is karate kid again? Because the third one, they were like, all right, before the third round, they're like, you're right! People make up in, I don't watch that. I am the douche who will fight for your honor. Oh, this is it. The karate kid part two.

That's a good part too. And then, so the big guy with, like, oddly, all large everything with no muscles wins. And so he's like, want to go to surf lads with me. And then they make out. And Paige is like, want to go to surf lots with me. And then they make out and page is like, um, did you really like her? Was that just funny game Jordan?

Go make out with her in front of his face. You're a winner in my book, Jordan. So Jordan, who has now been like shamed by page and by rock paper scissors is like, okay, I'm going to be cool, you know? So he like marches right up to Danielle. And he is like, okay, I'm gonna be cool, you know? So he like marches right up to Dan Yel and he's like, hey, let's go walk over there for a second, okay? He's like, it's not the deck tree, he's like, yeah, come on!

He's like, listen, you're playing games, no games, okay? If you want to kiss me, then kiss me and she's like, well, actually, oh! Oh! And then everybody's watching them, like, kind of grossed out. And it cussed them all in a different little friend groups just watching this awkward, try hard kiss. It was like so much mouth and tongue.

It was like, he was trying to actually eat her cheeks. You know? Lindsay's like, um um died on the 4th of July and girls like oh Like I've been in this situation and then it cuts to the twins like Carl He's like good luck Jordan. You'll need it. Yeah, Jen's And it brings us the summer house. Oh my God. I don't think I've had that much fun recapping a show in a long time.

That's our four-hour dissertation on a 40-minute show. Maybe it was the rosé. You guys. Thank you so much for being here. You guys, hopefully we'll'll see a great time in Cincinnati yeah hopefully we'll see a bunch of you guys in about nine minutes Hey bitch, if you don't know, he'll welcome to blow me back Hey bitch, hey bitch, every day is a pervert, don't give me time to change I can't lose the odds for the face, but the best is that I lose them all because when I play I win down

People might think I'm the bad, I'm the bad, I see lots of questions, I answer everyone Head back Head back Head back You pretend not to love me You don't think you're above me Head back Head back Head back

You can try to hate me But life celebrates me Boy, you're a bad girl Another boat That's bad All around the world girl, that girl, that's bad All around the world, even track such a stretch That mommy, that daddy, that baby That's bad, sweet the holy book, even cops say directs bad Oh, bitch! you you you Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.