Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Rosés, Thorns, and Carls

Episode Date: January 25, 2018

Summer House returns for season 2. The MTA has never been happier for the publicity. Enjoy! This week's bonus was recorded from the Boston Logan Airport. To hear it,, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens***Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Boston, Irvine, DC, Detroit and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com.See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensFind bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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As used, I'm Ronnie Cairn from the Roald. Briggs Bachelor podcast, which really is so fun this year. Go listen to it. It's so good. You accused, I heard that you told Ari that I was staring at myself in my compass. Compass, what? I'm very intrigued. I'm very intrigued.

And here I am with my little bestie who always gets my final rose. Mr. Ben Mendelke. Ban. Ban. Ban. Yeah, I'm like, this is my bestie. Ban. Fred Mill Pierce.

This is Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the Bandser Blender. Hello. Well, Ronnie, you are my rose and my thorn, but you're not my thorn. You're just my double rose. I can accept that I'm your song. Especially today of all days, because not only are we discussing the season premiere of Summerhouse Season 2, but today is a very special day. And you know why?

I don't. Well, let me play this. me see if this triggers any memories. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. It's your birthday? Well, it's our birthday. It's the six year

birthday of Watcher Crappins, the anniversary today of our birth as a podcast. We started this in January. Well, this show is our rosé and our a summer house. It was, it was, remember? It was a year ago today that we had Lisa Rina and Matt Woodfield on as special guests for our five-year anniversary. In fact, we made a whole week of our five-year.

We had Amy Phillips came on. That was actually the birth of Is Arianna Mad at Us? We had Brian Moylan on that week. I think, did Mals come on? No, Miles was out of town. I don't remember who else. Sorry. But we had an amazing, amazing time.

Heather McDonald came on the week after as like a, because our schedule didn't work out. So it was like a belated part of our, but we still considered it part of our birthday celebration. So anyway, it's, we're six years in. We are over 600 episodes in. And literally, literally, literally,

we wouldn't be here without the listeners. I mean, it's like the most cliche thing to say. Well, dear. But we really would not be. We don't, we are not part of any sort of like highfalutin podcast. you know production network we don't we're not we're not like we're just we're just two people doing a podcast we two queens on Skype girl two queens on Skype yeah and I know it's saying like

it's all for the listeners but duh it is we're talking it's like Carl says in the summer house episode if you have a dinner party but nobody shows up did you really have a dinner party you guys are basically eating from our chafers so thank you so much thank you for coming to our dinner party and thank you for coming on time. We are hoping to continue to serve out lots and lots of dishes all across the country. We're taking our dinner party all across this country. But seriously, look, for real, though, for real, I'm not trying to pat ourselves on the back too much, but it's our birthday.

It's like, everyone's step off. But seriously, though. How could you do this on the month of my birthday? You know, a year ago, a year ago, I did not think we would be where we are right now. You know, I remember a year ago, we did a show in the first. May last year at the improv at the at the lab which is where we're going to be doing a show next week actually and you know that that's like it's it's a venue holds about like 60 people 60 or 75 and we're like whoa when we sold that out we're like whoa you know and to be here now where we're on the heels of

having just come off of sold out shows in boston and facing sold out shows in new york and dc it's it's like i can't believe it i can't i got the we got the most beautiful email earlier this earlier this week you may not have seen it Ronnie because since I read it it said it was so it may not have popped up for you but one of our listeners she actually came to our

Boston show she had tickets to her Boston show from her fiancee and she was there and she had to rush back to California on the day of the show for a family emergency and just like a real sad shitty time in her family's life right now and

she said her boyfriend put the Facebook live stream on of our Boston show. And she was like, thank you for bringing some happiness right now while me and my family going through this. And I think it's just, I'm not saying this to congratulate ourselves for bringing happiness to people. It's just like it's amazing. To me, it's amazing that there are so many people that listen and listen for all these

different reasons. And where, again, we always say this to us. We're just like being too shady queens on Skype talking to each other. and it's like a real great honor that you guys let us into your lives. Yes, thank you so much, everybody. Now you do it. I'm really bad with romance, but I will tell you this. Since we've been doing this, I've been sitting in this fucking apartment in my kitchen,

and the tiles are being worn down by the office chair, scooting back every day, and we sit here and laugh our asses off every day for six years, and I am still in this fucking kitchen with these worn. ass tiles under me and I could not be fucking happier. Like whatever's happening with the show or in our lives or our personal lives, when people say this show's been there for them, trust. And over in six years, you've been there for us. And this show has been there for us.

And so many times where I could have personally just crawled up into bed and eaten dominoes until my heart popped. And I didn't because, you know, you have to get up and make fun of privileged white people on Summer House or whatever the show is at the time. So, you know, thank you guys. so much for allowing us this opportunity to like still be in my kitchen because as shitty as it sounds, it's wonderful. It's like my dream come trail. So thank you. Yeah. No, it really is awesome. It's been it's been a great ride and the ride is just going to continue and just be super,

it'll just be like super ridey, like a great ride. You know what's going to feel like Ronnie? It's going to feel like the sort of ride that happens when you jump in a car and drive for three and a half hours from Manhattan to the Hamptons. That sort of ride. Except it's going to have Carl drunk in the back seat. Answering his phone formally. This is cool. Hello, this is Carl.

Bloop, blue, flea. So let's dive into Summer House, which is one of our favorite shows of last year. It was so nice having it back. So nice. It is nice. And Kyle is the first narrator on the show. The show always has the narrator,

but they switch off every week, right? I have to remember. It hasn't been on for a while. I think that it's not like Cameron always gets to be shitty on Southern Charm where she's like, well, gets you fucked up this week. Thomas is still an old loser with balls down to his knees. But what's her face landing?

Can't even start a website. She sounds like a goddamn dolphin. And I'm perfect. Welcome to Southern Charm. Like this time they all get to have a chance. And Kyle starts this season off. And, you know, he's still Kyle. He's like, look, it's totally different.

I have five. o'clock shadow. Now it's like, I'm here for this show. I'm completely back in right at the beginning. Yeah. And so he gives us a little bit of a recap of what stuff happened last season, you know, and one of the first things that he gets into, well, he talks about how he and Amanda have been a couple all the past year and that she's moving into the summer house as like, she's going to be a tenant, a permanent tenant, and it's going to be his first time not being single in the summer house. But for me, the thing that made me happiest was when we got to see the flashbacks of Lindsey and Everett.

And they just showed this clip of Lindsay going, then tell me what happened. Averat. I was like, oh, my God. Summer House is back. Avera. So they, it's Gina. Sorry, I need a moment to get into my summer house.

But he's like, remember how Lindsay and Everett broke the couple rule? Well, they broke up, which is a shock to no one. Then Lauren and Carl got hot, then cold, then hot again. Then cold, then hot again. Then cold, then hot again. then hot, then cold, then cold, then hot. And then, Kyle goes, and then they broke it off at the end of the summer.

And then. Then Steven's like, that is not what happened. Carl and I were the only successful relationship out of that summer, okay? But as of last month, Carl has been parting really hard and avoiding me. I'm avoiding it. Kind of. Kind of. There has been a definite increased amount of Stephen.

lot of Stephen in this first episode. Stephen, by the way, we have to mention, is a supporter of Watcher Crappins, but we will continue to take apart Summer House without any sort of... We will not let... We will be like Tom treating Bruce on Top Chef. We'll try to erase any sort of bias. But that being said, Stephen's really funny, so it's sort of hard not to be biased for him. Yes, and I think the general consensus last year was, there's one gay, he needs to talk.

Yeah. You need to talk more. So Stephen comes out of the gate. I think he said more in this opening than he did in the entire season last year. He's like, that is not what happened. Carl and I were the only successful relationship of last summer, but as of last month, Carl has been parting really hard. I'm avoiding that.

Carl and Lauren took their romance to the spec, the city. They did it all fall and winter. And then Lauren called them exclusive while Carl called other girls. I'm glad this cast is all pretty good looking because those cameras are right up in their faces. Can you guys back off a little bit? Is this like a GoPro you're trying to work? I know. What were they filming with?

I mean, it was like the colors are all weird. The contrast is strange. It's all sort of grainy. It must have been bad lighting or something. But everything looked kind of funky. And then the green screen moments, it's like blown out. I don't know what's going on. I didn't know what was happening with the lighting.

But this morning, I went to Whole Foods and they have like breakfast sandwiches under a heat lamp. And I was like, that's the lighting. The summer house lighting is breakfast sandwiches under a heat lamp. Basically, this cast is going to end up, you know, as an overly crisp bacon cheese croissant. That's okay. We want it no other way because Summer House is sort of like the more run-down version of Vanderpump rules. The East Coast, sort of slightly shabbier, right?

Like, it's grainier textures. Even though it should be more highfalutin, it somehow isn't. Yeah. So it works. It's not. They're like, you get another chance and you still have a $5 budget. So have fun with that. And at the beginning, they're opening.

It's the city. to the beach. I'm like, wow, way to get people interested. Commuting. And I was trying to remember. I was like, I haven't watched any of the episodes they've been showing as like a, you know, like they've been marathoning it.

So I've been, I was really excited to remember what the theme song was. I was like, what was that theme song again? What was it? It's sort of like Van Pumper Rules, but it's not. And I came on. And I was like, oh yeah, that's what it was. Just a woman going. She's sort of like size up.

I'll show you the way. I was like, great. So we're being taken around. by like a Siri GPS in a car. Like, okay, you guys, come on. Come on. It's season two. So Kyle is like putting boxes into his car and he's saying he's all grown up and he and

Amanda are all rock solid. And Amanda's like, Kyle, it's your first summer and not single. Will you survive? He's like, well, the Lord knows I've got enough boxes. Okay. I've got lots of boxes. I'm an adult. I've made it.

Boxes. Like there were so many boxes. is in that car. How many margarita machines and how many like BBC's are you planning to make this summer more importantly? Then they showed him he's like Captain Cook is headed back to the Hamptons and they show him on a scooter naked you know with his bear. Yes little white ass and he's scootering around they're naked and then you just hear the train go winters route. The fastest talking we just route we just round we rewind it. I was watching with Jenna we're like let's rewind it again seat.

Winners are out. I said, I think it's Weeners are out. She's like, but it's still fun. Let's rewind it again. Wiener's out. Winners are out.

So Stephen and Lauren, Lauren Workis, are driving to the Hamptons together. And they have a blowup doll of Ashley because Ashley, as you may remember, if you watch season one, moved to San Diego to be with her husband, Brad.

And like Brad, like, Brad's my husband. So we're going to be like separated for the first time ever. And it's like kind of weird because we're like twins. We never been separated in 28 years. They're going to be separated. It's like going to be weird.

They're not going to be together. It's like it's like, it's like, where's Lauren? Where's Ashley? Like we're like twins. Like we're like twins? Like we're like twins are we like together? Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl.

Carl. Carl. Carl. I also, yeah, so they have a big blow up doll. And you know that the real twin is sitting back at home just cutting your thighs. Like, oh. Diego. God damn it. I know. She should have. She should have just bunked it out in the summer.

in New York for the summer, because we need both work as twins. We need two workasers at all times. I do. And I think it really sucks for twins because people are like, where's the twin? And they're like, um, hi, I'm my own person. Wait, hold on. My twin is saying something in my mind. Hold on.

Yeah, he agrees. It's hard because they're always like stuck being the same person, but they are the same person, okay? And I need them being the same person. Yeah. And she will be there. Actually will be there, but we need her to be there every weekend. Yeah, I need her there all the time.

So I also have to add that Amanda and Kyle, because I put lines between every time they cut to something, even if it was like something on the street, I was like, I need a line so I can separate my scenes. So I'm still on like the Amanda Kyle thing, but she goes, when she's saying, it's your first summer not single in the Hamptons. I was like, this is such a modern couple on a road trip. It's not McDonald's. It ain't windy. It's like some fucking chop shop salad on her lap. Who does that? It's a big bye.

He's like, on a bridge. I'm like, that's the whiteness of this show. It's like, that's a rebellion, you know, eating salad on a bridge. If they had had a car wreck, that just would have been the bougiest way to go. Well, she was feeding him a bite of kale salad on the way of the Hamptons, and things got out of control. They died sharing kale. Is there a wider way to die? Sharing kale is on the way of Hampton.

They could have died of a Coke overdose, and it would have been less white than this. Were they listening to the Gougu dolls? I don't know. Dave Matthews was playing. It did get wider. So let's see. She's like, it's really hard to be without someone after 28 years together. Like my twin.

I need my twin. She's like, but at least the great thing is that we're going to be there first. So we're going to get first dibs. So we're going to get first tips. Like it's going to be like first. Like everyone else is going to be like, where's the dibs? We're going to be like, hate them first. You know that Lauren was like struggling through this?

She's like, it's word because like I say things like, where's the dibs? And I don't hear actually say, where's the dibs? say where's the dibs and when I say I mean I'm on dibs and I don't hear I should say yeah we need dibs it's weird it's just like me it's like listening to music but only with one headphone it's weird but you know in her mind it sounds like say it again where's the dibs yeah where's the dibs where's the dibs where's the dibs I got the dibs I got the dibs yeah tips yeah oh my god someone's trying to FaceTime me right now during the podcast did you hear that did you hear any of that it's probably the twin they it was I feel like it was I feel like it was like honestly

there could be no better soundtrack to the twins. Whatever that stupid Apple theme is. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Either way. You know, I'm like butchering it because I'm not saying it right. But like that sort of semi-coliopee calypso thing that happens with apples. Yeah, that typical iPhone ring. Yeah.

I can't because I still have summer summer house theme in my mind. That one really sticks in your head. I think we just have to resolve that whenever we quote Lauren, we just have to represent Ashley whenever she talks. Yeah, we'll just be spirit Ashley. We just can't. We can't have Lauren without Ashley. So even though there's no Ashley on screen, we will be the ghost Ashley. Yeah. So they're talking about rooms and he's like, there are six rooms and eight people in the house. I'm like, I love that Stephen is coming in with so much energy. It's like, yeah, just like nodding his head like affirmatively. whenever he says something, I'm like, welcome, welcome home, new Stephen.

So she's like, that's what I heard about Carl. He's like bringing two new people. This girl, the girl, she took up with Carl. And like, I know nothing except she used to fuck this girl. And now we have to share a roof. Like, we shared a guy. And now we have to share a roof. Like, what are we going to share next to mattress?

Like, what are we going to share a dib? I'm not sharing my dips with anybody. I'll tell you that right now. Like, what's what of Carl? Carl, Carl, Carl. Carl. Yeah, because basically Carl is bringing out. this girl who he's his ex so it's gonna be Lauren Lauren and this ex with Carl under the same roof

so there's gonna be some drama and so Carl is driving out with a new girl Danielle and also a new guy named Amit and and Lauren says Carl Matamette Coachawa just made me laugh the way she said Coachella cauchawa which by the way bad omen bad omen I never want my entree onto a new TV show to be that I was discovered at Coachella, like milling about the grounds between the stupid face tent and the desert, you know, pinata building, you know, whatever they have there. Which is worse, being discovered at Coachella or being discovered at the polo match Rosey party on the outskirts of the Hamptons. Coachella, always Coachella.

So the twin catches us up with her Carl history. She's like, well, Carl, too, time me with this girl. And if you think he's fooling me again, like, fool me once, shame on you, full me twice, shame on you, full me three times, shame on you, full me four times. I mean, shame on my sister, because by this time, my sister should have learned. But then, for me five times, like, shame on you, okay? And shame on me too. Well, no, most of shame on you.

Lauren, you got to come down. I know, you got to calm down. I know. I can never calm down. It's like, no, I can never calm to you, but like, you don't get your time. I know. Like, he's totally in me, right. Like, he was ghost of you, but like, I'm the ghost here.

I'm like ghost me. Okay, like, honestly, like you have to run away from it because you'll eat the ghosts. Okay, you don't want to ghost. Like, you have to eat the vitamins so you can eat the ghosts. You want a party bender and then it hurt. I was like, what? So, so Kyle, Kyle decides to call Carl. God, these phrases I'm forced to say, Kyle calls Carl.

So, and so he calls Carl and he calls like, this is Carl. And then all of the music is like, done. It's like, what? What's wrong? He answered the phone. And it's like, apparently Carl had been drinking because Carl's like, I'm in the backseat

it meets driving. It's like, oh man, Carl's not driving. But also, it made sense later why the music was so dramatic when he's like, hello, this is Carl, because later the twins, like, well, he's really been going through a hard time. Like Carl, like he lost his job and his parents are getting a divorce and he just can't

take it. That's why he's still answering like he's at the job. He's like, hello, it's girl. Would you like to buy some tooth sale kind of things? Anybody, would you like to buy some floss? Some floss? Oh, okay. Well, thanks for calling. You know, it's amazing how his yellow teeth really haunted him last season because he was in dental sales. And you ask anyone, my favorite is when you ask people who've sort of seen the show here or there, they don't watch it as much as we do.

And they're like, oh, yeah, and there was that guy with the yellow teeth. What was his name? Like, he's identified as the guy with the yellow teeth by people who casually watch the show. So clearly he could not maintain a job in dental sales. And clearly he's answering his phone as if he's about to. to get a job offer. I know. It's like the guy finally gets his teeth bleached and then he gets fired. Like that's not fair. And I think there is something to be said about like someone like Oprah taking over Weight Watchers when it's like, yes, I've been on a diet for 30 years. But that's the point.

It's constant upkeep, you know? So it's like if you go to a dentist with like kind of yellow teeth, people are like, oh my God, they get it because they're suffering through the same thing. They like coffee and cigarettes too and it's like a never ending battle. Yeah, I mean, Carl is a great success story If you really think about it I mean, he should be the poster child for bleaching No matter what part you're bleached So it looks very good

His face maybe was bleached It looks different He's been working out I mean Carl looks amazing Thankfully, he's still a shitty person But you know, he's been working out So you know, good for you So Lauren and Stephen arrive at the new house

And they're like, Las Galexvoir So everyone just has Sheena voice to me today Like I've fallen into this thing where I make every gay person sound like Sheena like, like, Sparer, but they all kind of do in a weird way. So they go, it sort of turns into house hunters, like, this looks

like a room I don't want to be in. Oh my God, what's this room? This room looks large. This one looks small. I don't know. Stephen? Stephen, what do you think about this one? This one has a bed? This one has two beds. Stephen? This one has a door. Stephen? This one has a window. I don't know if I feel about the popcorn ceiling. It's actually a piece of popcorn on the ceiling. I'm not going to be by this, blend this right by the kitchen

again. Not falling into that trap again, kitchen trap or the Carl Trap. I mean, they're crazy. Like so many traps right here. It's like Spillocker. What about a parent trap? Get a Stephen? Stephen, I made a parent trap joke. Oh my God.

I miss my sister. Where's my sister? Hey, which one am I right now? Laura Ashley. Which one? Oh my God. Oh, my God. You never know.

If you were my parents and you were divorced, would you get back together because we tricked you? Yeah. We've done the parent trap so many times. Like my parents, Stephen, do I want to do pan trap? Do you want to play a parent trap with me? No, it doesn't work with you. He's like, I prefer the Lindsay person.

And I looked at one point, Stephen walks into a room and he goes, what is this? And Lauren goes, another room. Like, obviously, it's a room. I don't know why. I just like their very... He's like, look, I can give you this much excitement and then I'm done. Okay? I gave it to you the whole way driving over here. It's like, oh my God, look at that. It's the sign. We're on a

road. Look, look, we're on the road right now. We're driving. He's like, okay, yeah, we're on the road. We sure are on a road. It's season two, Stephen. And by this time, he's like, look, it's a bowl of chips. What the fuck do you want for me, bitch? They're like doing a bare bow. Bare bow. House Hunters. It's literally like, I like that this has a floor. I mean, I don't know what else you want to say. Is this kitchen near the center of town? So Lauren and Steven start to get dinner ready. They're going to put on a little dinner party, first night at the summer house, dinner party, you know? And while they do it, we learned that Lauren is going to be going to gay pride in New York City with Stephen and Carl.

And they're going to be leaving early to do it. Yeah, he's like, I'm due to this world. I was like, what? He's from Alabama. How new are you, darling? How new can you be? Later, he's like, you know, like, I'm really uncomfortable in the gay community.

I'm like, that's called being gay, okay? You've arrived. You've made it, Stephen. Congratulations. That's when you know you're truly gay, okay? Yes. People who feel comfortable in the gay community are like chunky girls,

so you just want to get shit-face, fall on the floor and make out with a stripper, okay? Your next task is to turn yourself loathing into something that makes you feel better than someone else. Like a podcast. Turn your anxiety into a podcast, Stephen. Then you will rule all of Watermill, New York. Happy six-year pride, Stephen, little Devin. So I like that Stephen watches Big Brother because he told us.

because the first thing he comments on as they walk through the house he's like a chess board I don't think anyone any one of us is smart enough for that because that's like the first thing anybody says looking at the Big Brother house like why is there a chess board in there? Well no they said on Big Brother they're too stupid to realize they're too stupid to play chess because it was like chess I'm really good I'm a really good chess player I'm always yeah I'm gonna play this game where I play chess and they like pick up like a piece and throw it across the room like that's not

how to play chess and you're getting voted off tonight So we then see Lindsay, Lindsay of Lindsay and Albright. They have broken up and she walks in wearing a giant like long jackety thing that says her name on the back. And she's like, owning my own PR firm, there's no such thing as a vacation. I have to work in order to get paid. I'm like, bitch, you just walked into a vacation house. Don't do that. Don't do that, Lindsay.

I write her name like this. Lindsay. It's like I'm Liza. And you're on your own pair for him. Look at my jacket. That says hubs. Hubs. Hubs.

So they don't want some guack. I represent it. It's like Asht's hair. We know. So Lauren and Stephen are doing the table thing outside. And Lindsay, she comes outside. She's like, oh, my God. I've literally been running around wondering like, where is everyone?

Oh, my God. You guys need jackets with, like, part of your names on the back. It's really hard. It's such a relief to know there are actually people here. I was getting so concerned. I was like, am I at the right place? I don't know. Oh, my God.

Never had a vacation. Oh, I'm stupid. I still don't know the twins from each other. I'm so sorry, you guys. That's not nice. Because when she said, Ashley's hair, it was the blow-up doll. And she's like, so she picked the blow-up doll, picked a bed. And Lauren's like, I'm first-crumb first-serve.

Okay, first-gun, first-come, first-surf. I can't say it fast now. First-gun-all-serve. For-bram. Full-metal. My-old. Our voice, I like how every single one of our impersonations is exactly the same on this show. Everyone's like, oh my God.

But they are. They really are. You know, one time I was told by Achola in school, who is my friend, she's like, white people all look like thumbs. They all look the same. And I was like, I guess they kind of do, you know? But when I watch this show and they say things like I write and I was like, Kyle calls Carl. I'm like, oh, my God, they were right. So Lindsay's like, of course.

I miss Everett, but like, I'm single Lundy this time. So goodbye, Arrott. I'm not going to be thinking about you. All right. I'm single Lentzy now, so I'm going to sleep in a room. Okay. That's quite a statement, glorious, timing. It's a big story arc for her.

I'm going to find a room. I'm going to sleep in it. A room of one's on. The couple arrives, and he's like, guess what I got a margarita machine? And she's like, guess what I got? The batch bedroom. So Kyle and Amanda are annoyed because we're going through the traditional reality show trope of,

oh my God, everyone picked beds before we got there. It was supposed to be that we're supposed to not pick and we're all supposed to decide it together. So he's getting really mad because he thought he and Amanda were going to get the master because they're a couple. Instead, Lauren is taking the master with her blow-up doll doll sister. And he is legit pissed. Like he is so mad. And she's like, um, guys, I didn't sleep all summer less guys. So it's not fair.

okay? And also I have like a lot of hair. So like I'm not going to lie, I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm a girl. I'm like I'm told him both of you put together. Yeah. Okay. I'm like if you said both of you on top of each other, I'd still tower over hair. And the hair and like if I took a shower together, it would all be my hair. It would be like a bath because it would like stop. I don't know. And like the

tradition and like last year and then like I was like no, no. No. So then Lauren just goes into like ultra workers mode. She's like, well, what if I mean? I got to have a boyfriend. I have to bring out home every weekend. Like what about that? What about what I got? What if the boyfriend comes over? Like, Like, what if we want to go into bed? I want to be like, Carl, car, get out of the bed. No, no, no.

I want to just be, like, me and me. Like, I got to be upset. Like, I'd be upset. I'm upset near a staircase. Like, what if I go, what if I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of night? I want to walk in the kitchen and people there. I can't do that. And Stephen's just standing there and he goes, you know, Lauren isn't really making sense, but no one's yelling at me.

So I'm just going to watch this unfold. So she's like, you can't just use a couple as your reason. Like, that's not fair just because you're a couple. And he's like, that's what you said last summer, that you guys were two people. And then so she tells us, she goes, maybe the rationale of Ashley and I sharing a room, just because we were a couple, was a little wrong last year. But, you know, like, last year, Carl gave me the worst room, the worst room, so karma bitch. So then we see a thing, he says, coming up, and you just see Stephen go, kill them all. I was like, okay, I like that. weren't they saying like, Mary fuck or kill? And he's like,

kill them all. Yeah, but I somehow missed the Mary Fuck Kill part until later when it actually happened. So I just heard him go, kill them all. I was like, oh,

wow, this escalated quickly. Yeah. Which it really did, actually. So they stayed and Stephen's like, oh my God, it's like Master of the House.

She's like, no, no, it's not like Master of the House. He's like, okay, I was trying to make a lay-miss thing, but whatever,

I'm just the gay. I'm new here, not comfortable in the gay community. just trying my seat legs I thought if I said lame it would work I suppose you're gonna upstand me with a little on my own just take the stage workess So Lauren and Lindsay go walking around in the house

And maybe find some alternatives And Kyle turns to Steve and he goes I mean I'm not coming here to try to have a big debate To me it just seemed kind of obvious dude And somebody goes it's not obvious I don't think It's just like That's weird

So like I have to share a room And I have to share a mattress I don't know, she's like, I have to share a roof with Kyle with Carl's girlfriend, and now I have to share a mattress, and now what else I'm going to share? My hair. Do you want someone in my hair? Hey, Kyle, you want some of my hair? Hey, Kyle, you want to have sex this summer because the headboards are right next to each other,

and I'm sure that McGee doesn't want to hear you have sex all summer. So, Kyle, think about that, huh? Yeah, she goes, well, like, if I'm going to share with someone, I would rather share with Lindsay. And Lince is like, um, man, she's like, well. She's like, well, everyone online hates me, so I'm going to be fun, Lindsay. Sure, I'll room with you. Mother Teresa, move over, because short, shot, lots of us here. Mother Teresa and her short, short cutoffs.

She's just beating them like swathes of jeans that she's cutting off of herself. So the Carl crew finally arrives. It's Carl, Carl, meet and Danielle. And they all walk in and Carl, Carl, like, gents, gents, I mean. here, gents, hello. And they're just walking around, and Lindsay's eyeing a meat. And she's like, a meat, as in a piece of meat. Get it.

Dele meat? Do you have a brother named Dele meet? I really love deli meat. I'm going to meet some interns coming here. Does it mind I'm going to bring some interns. We're going to workshop some more jokes about a meat's name. And Amit's like, I drove everyone. I was like the Uber driver.

I got five stars. It's like, way to be the first non-white person on the show, opening with an Uber joke. Cichella. Yeah. He's like, I'm really excited. When are we going to go see 50 band piano rotorhead tonight? It's not Cichella a meet. So, let's see.

Lauren meets a new chick Danielle. He's like, you guys, I don't even care about rooms. Like, I would sleep on a pool tail. Because like for a Puerto Rican from Hoboken, this is really nice. It's like having a pool and a table at once. Puerto Rican girl from Hoboken. Let that sink in. Let it sink in.

Let it sink in. And it's like, I was a corporate insurance broker. So anyway, so then Steven says, Wow, you're just as boring as all the white people. Congrats. You sure got up quick. So outside, Steven's setting a table for the perfect dinner party. He's like, well, having a good dinner party really sets the tone for the rest of the summer.

So I'm going to have the perfect dinner. party. So we already know this is just going to be a disaster. It's just like the barefoot contessa drinking straight from the bottle and then pouring the rest in his glass. Yeah. And at around like 930 or so, he's like, dinner's ready. And of course, no one's there. This is very much a call back to Luann's dinner party in Morocco, you know? It's like they show the time passing and him just waiting. Then Shannon Bador comes out and steals a chair. Then she goes to the bathroom and Heather steals it back and then they get in a fight about it. Kyle's having a stupid argument of the Amanda inside being like,

whoa, Amanda, you put your shoes on shelves. That's crazy that you put shoes on shelves. Why did girls have to put things on shelves that don't belong? I don't get it. It's a secret of co-inhabiting. I'm like, wow. You're giving up free food to have the discussion right now. I'm really enjoying this side storyline of Kyle's.

He's like, is shit show one word or two words? I'm like, he's like, I've got a new angle this season. It's not understanding words properly. They're like, okay, print. Print. Did Chips Ahoys arrive on a boat? Is that why they're saying a hoi? So this is when Carl's like, wow, awkward, eh, Stephen?

So if you had a dinner party, no one came. Did you have a dinner party? Yeah. Because Stephen's sitting there for like 30 minutes alone. Carl finally shows up at 10.15, which is way longer. I mean, that food's just sitting there getting cold. And he sits down and so Stephen's like, great. It's Carl.

my former best friend. Wow, guess what? I wish we had a waiter so I could order an apology, Kyle or Carl. So Danielle finally comes to the table. And the table really does look beautiful. And he's decorated in with all these pretty Edison lights. They're really long. And Danielle just stares at those long-ass Edison bulbs like,

huh? I'm a Puerto Rican girl from Hoboken. Okay, we didn't have this. It's crazy. It's crazy. And Carl's just like, well, I'm going to eat. And so Stephen, Stephen is actually angrier at Carl deciding to eat the food than the people being late, it seems, because now he's just really stewing.

He's like, I take mental notes. My mental notes are etched in stone. He's wasted also. He's also at this point totally wasted. Yeah, he's wasted, and he's like everyone's pissed off mom. He's like everyone's, he's like every gay person's pissed off mom, you know? Yeah. He's like, well, let's see what happens now. Someone's eating in the fried calamari. Like, uh-oh, mom's here.

So, she's like, um, okay, now everyone's hair at the table. You know how Carl was on the relationship last summer? So now I'm going to give him a role. I'm going to easily give him a hard time, but I'm not going to do that. I think, make up your mind because you're changing your mind at the same, like, paragraph. So she's like, um. Well, wait, before this, though, before this, there was this whole craziness with Carl. So everyone gets to the table.

And Carl's like, I've already had. the mac and cheese and the lamb. It was all delicious. And Stephen just rolls his eye. He gives this look like the only way I can roll my eyes on your heart would be if I fling my head off my neck. Shut up, Carl. We almost did. He's like, do you know how much work I bet today?

And Carl's like, well, bravo, Stephen. Bravo. Lauren, do you know how long you guys took? Lauren. And like Carl's just saying things and everything Carl says is just annoying everyone. because apparently Carl starts saying things like no stress, no stress, guys, am I right? No stress, no stress.

Everyone just starts fighting and I couldn't even follow why they were fighting. They were just getting mad at call. We reround this 10 times, okay? Do you want to hear it all laid out? Please. It's hilarious. Please, please.

So first, Stephen just keeps getting matter and matter because he's like, I imagine how much work I did today? And he's like, bravo. So he's like, mental does etch and stems. And then they're like, okay, well, everyone's here now, cheers. And then she's like, cheers to the new roommate. And Carol goes, a meet and Danielle. And Lindsay goes, um, and Amanda.

And he goes, God, Amanda, I'm always forgetting you. I mean, it's like, I rescind my bite of kale salad I gave you. I will now be putting flip-flops on the top shelf. So what do you think about that? And so Stephen's like, I made food. And Carl goes, do you know he goes

I taste your Alabama sweat on this asparagus Stephen or Stephen and he just starts saying all these douchey things so then Carl's like

no stress no stress dude what are you mad at me for I was the first one down here and Stephen goes yeah well the homeless people

are always the first person in the free food line and Carl's like Lauren Lauren she's like Carl Carl Carl Carl Carl Lauren Carl Carl

Carl Look me in the eye. I'm looking at you in the eye, Carl. No stress, okay? No stress. And Carl goes, dude, stop, stop trying to pretend you're a rapper, okay? They don't want to hang out with you. We're white as fuck.

Yeah. Yeah, and Carl says no stress again. And then Laura goes, don't say no stress, because it is stress. It is stress. And then someone goes, too, too train. And then it's like, should I be quiet or not? What am I supposed to do right now? No, because Stephen goes, we need to not talk or I'm going to lose it.

And then he goes, well, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to talk right now. Stephen goes, Try me. Yeah. You were like, what? The whole thing felt like some weird, surrealist play I was watching. Like, it was a data-dataism, dataism, whatever it is. It was just like, it was like three NYU students were like,

okay, here's an idea, fellow Tish students. We're going to write a play, and we're each going to write the dialogue for one person, but we won't confer until we put them all together. Also, we're all going to have the common theme of really long Edison bulbs hanging from a tree that somehow has electricity. Like, okay, we're in. No stress. Don't say there's no stress because there's stress, okay? There's stress, Carl.

And he goes, no one cares. She goes, you're disgusting. And then Carl goes, I think his brain fell out of his ear. And then Carl starts walking around the ear going, what the fuck did I do? What did I do but put on some skinny mom jeans and eat somebody's food that they made for me? But thanks a lot. I don't need to take this. God, my jeans are tight. I'm walking away in my esprit drills. So then Stephen just starts to cry. He's like, I'm at my boiling point. I'm like, what is happening here? I felt like there was a full fleshed out scene that the editors were like, no, we want to see more like hijinks over in like the Hamptons. So let's just like cut out all the connective tissue and just give you random lines from this dinner that happened. Yes. What did I do? He knows me. He takes no president. No, boy, bye! I'm thinking, okay, you're all just wasted at this point.

I don't know what you're trying about. Y'all are a drunk eating cold steak. Yes, poor guy. So the rules. So Lindsay's like, okay, let's make everybody feel better because I got glasses. Isn't that funny? Because, like, nerd, like a nerd. Yeah.

Nerd. Nerd. Nerd. Nerd. What's real number one? Kyle's like, no couples in Summer House. And she's like, and who broke rule number one? He's like, uh, cool.

couples. Okay. No noise and house. Guess what is making noise? People handcuffs. Suck up Keith on.

Suck coffee. They're like like a lot of comedy, everybody. Hair's up. Lindsay. Linsa. None of that cash on.

Everett's at home like jerking off. Like, God, I love prop comedy. I miss you, Lindsay. I feel so good when I see her. Yeah.

She's such a nerd. She's such a nerd. She's such a nerd. I remember I remember I remember when I was on Summerhouse back in back in the day I would

I would go out there to the Hamptons and I would sit there and watch all that Rose get drunken and all that prop comedy would be had those were the days in Summerhouse 2017 16

relationship needed that whole time was a battery and a torch. Oh, how I've fucked it all up, Vietnam. Here are the real rules of Summer House. Rule number one, don't talk about Summer House. Rule number two, fuck around outside of the Summer House. Rule number three,

walk up to someone say, hey, nerd. And when they look at you strange, do you nod, like, I was a joke. Rule number four, break up with someone in public so they can't yell at you, but then yell at them anyway in public. Rule number five, where a plaid, preferably brown, applied. I forgot rule number six, because I'm not on this show anymore, but I'll continue masturbating to this amazing prop comedy.

Rule number seven, go see rule number one. Everdown! It's like the helicopter from Miss Saigon comes in and drags him away. I know. So, um, Stephen is like, I'm going into the closet. He just crawls into the closet and some blankets. And Daniel's like,

where the gay guy go? And he's like, I'm in the closet. He's like, oh my God, I get it. You're in the closet. He's like, yeah, I'm new here. Like, yeah. Meanwhile, Lauren, Lauren is stomping around being like, I have no words. I have no words. I have no words.

I have no words. That's the biggest lie she's ever said. I have so many words, but I'm not saying them right now. Yeah, I don't actually have them. I have so many words. They're on them. I'm so many words. You know who's listening to my words right now?

Ashley, my head. Oh my God, I have words too. I've got to watch his words. I think Carl's fucking Ashley's face right now. That's not really Ashley, Carl. Because like,

what do I do? So, uh, Steven's hand just comes out of all these blankets with the drink. It's like, you have a dream. It's like episode one people. Yeah.

So then it's like, it's late at night. It's like, that's like 1 a.m. whatever, we see them dancing. The typical, uh, summer house,

montage. And then the next morning, we see Lauren walking up to the summer house in the same outfit that she was wearing the night before. She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry off the summer off the night game. Yeah. She left at 1 a.m. holding a wine glass. It's like, I love that she just takes her glass. She's like, this is a single me. Okay? And single me takes a wine glasses. I don't care. Okay. I don't care. Yeah. It's a my game, Carl. Carl. Carl. Did you buy a game, Carl. Carl. I went to the way. I said to see, Carl. Carl. Carl. I got a hot talk. Lindsay wakes up on this week. Lindsay wakes up on this wicker chair she fell asleep on she has this big smile on her face and she's like oh my god i'm

a wicker she's like fuck this chair oh my god this wicker mom like our mother hour i love wakar an hour a meat just passes the camera because you know how they have all the hidden cameras in the room he passes the camera like this just giving it this dirty look i was like oh my god a meat something's wrong with a meat yeah and then the dinner meanwhile the entire dinner is still on the table no one even bothered or cleared off the table they're that lazy slash drunk so Carl and Dania placed him good old balls basketball she's so annoying he's like glad you're here great edition that a girl not a girl yeah that a girl you're like that guest room in the in the garage edition you know you don't really fit in but it's nice to have and her grandma comes over she's like whoa

he's like yeah that girl's a sweet girl but there's just a couple things that weren't right for me so I'm sweating like a hostage here she's like I'm gonna stand here and tell you in a very boring way that I'm like I'm cool with you but I'm like over you it's like great great scene yeah she goes he's she goes you were really on fire last night I mean like old Carl angry super mean

wouldn't say you're sorry like you're horrible you're horrible human being and he's like yeah am I supposed to say sorry that's what I do I'm just a jerk right yeah beat it horse It was Christina's fault What can I say? Like she's not here anymore Carl

Yeah, can't blame Christine anymore Okay He's like, uh, it's great But uh, underneath it's not Oh no, she goes, he's great Carl's like really great But underneath not so much Like yeah

Still probably fuck him Yeah She said yeah she says later on She's like She's like Carl's like Mexican food It tastes so good You want to eat more more

More of it And then you shit your pants Never want to have it again That was Daniel's shining Keep ordering nachos. So Kyle is inside, sitting with a margarita machine. Sort of like a lot of just scenes were happening. Carl, and while he's doing that, Carl and Stephen are are chatting upstairs.

And Carl's like, hey, man, I just want to apologize for being wasted last night. I did a really great job with dinner. And like, you know, I just want to apologize, dude. That's all. He's like, yeah, thanks. So we're going to pride, right? So we're going to get packed and leave, right? and workis is like oh my god you guys talking about pride i've never been to bride me neither

it's like well you know i'm new here so i haven't really been there either so this is going to be great bonding time right can't wait to get my dick sucked someone with some five o'clock shade wait a minute so then they go into the closet workis and stephen go into the closet oh my god what was that about was that about pride like you don't look like you have a lot of bread right He just says, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. Like, it's just going to, like, smooth over it just by saying I'm sorry. I was like, it's not going to happen. Oh, Steven's like, he said, sorry, but I couldn't take it.

It was like so fake the way he said it. She's like, you know, this is what Carl does, okay? He makes a mess and then he mops it up. I'm like, that sounds totally reasonable. Yeah. Isn't that what you're supposed to do? It sounds like the best partner ever, actually. No, Carl is totally fake.

He is really fake, and I understand their frustration. I don't know why they invited Carl to pride. Can't they just be like, Carl, you're not allowed to come to pride. Or can they just leave without him? Can't they ghost him the way he's ghosted then? Well, Kyle's that guy that's like hot enough to attract a good dick. So you just like leave him kind of on the edge of pride and just kind of take the

leftovers. I mean, come on. What about the only 42 year old around? So anyway, the whole gang gets together and they, um, they, they head off to a polo match, uh, where they're like, you know, Lauren and Lindsay were their best stripes for it, best vertical stripes. Um, and they, they, they serve. They go there and they're sort of ambling around, chatting.

Lindsay's sorting with like a horse jockey. And that's when... It's like, Paula. That's all I had. This is where Amit was like, was like, okay, Mary Fuck Kill, Lauren Danielle or Lindsay. And, oh, no, someone says, Mary, fuck, kill. And that's when Steve was like, kill them all. And then they asked, they ask him meat.

And a meat likes Amanda. So, controversy, perhaps. Uh-oh. But Amit kind of hates the whole world. Yeah. Which we learn later. So Danielle and MGMT to come on stage. It's like, I don't understand what's happening.

When does the show start on this stupid show? Yeah, he's like, are we shooting this? Or is this like a pre-party before the show? When do I get my backstage passes that you guys promised me? I thought Coachella was in California also, by the way. I'm doing this for a Metro card. So that would be great. Does that come at the end of the weekend?

Door. So, Danielle and Lauren have a talk. And she's like, I'm like, look, I just wanted to like, you know,

like talk about it because like, here we are as Polo. I'm not worth describing everywhere. So speaking of, like, even though Carl was like taken, like we slept up with the same guy. And she goes,

so you're telling me I got sloppy seconds. That's that we were saying. Slop a seconds. That we're saying. I mean, it's weird, but it's weird, but it's not awkward.

It's not like I have to sleep with when I open. Do I? Well, you really should sleep with two eyes open because I got a sister. So when she said, Danielle goes, well, look, we've both been there and done that. And Lauren goes, yeah, like, seriously, like, if you want to do it again, like, I don't even care. Like, I seriously don't even care. I couldn't care last. Okay.

And then she tells us, yeah. So, like, we're in the same place. So I don't even have to be mad at her because she said, like, she's been there and she's done that. So, like, that's totally like what I was looking for. So she's not going to do them at all. I'm like, uh-oh. Yeah, this is going to go to bad. This is going to end up badly.

He wasn't listening properly to their own words. Yes. So meanwhile, Carl himself is in the tent. He's talking to a girl named Courtney, and he's doing all his typical lines. You know, he's such a schmuzer. It really bothers me. I'm like, I just can't deal with Carl sometimes.

So he's talking this girl, Courtney, and she's like, oh, so you're Italian? He's like, no, actually, I'm German. Spreckenzie Deutsch. How do you say in German, put you weight on me? Yeah, put you weight on me. put dust and wait on mezen. She's like, all right, I'll fuck you. It's a fellow.

So skinny dipping, they get back to the house and they're like, let's go skinny dipping. And Lindsay's like, I'm five. Did I say Lindsay? Yeah, Lindsay's like, I'm fast. We're like, we're shocked. So Amit is like, I'm putting on cold cream. Yeah. I'm going to put on a mask instead.

This seems like it'll have more beneficial uses for me in the long run than going skinny dipping with you guys. Yeah, and he's like, it's been really weird. I mean, I've never really shared a house for a summer. It's a little nuts. And I was like, oh, my God, loosen up a meat. And then against the Kyle going, I shrunk my dick down for this. Yeah. It's like, okay, might have a point.

I mean, might have a point. Although he is acting like he's been, like, shoved into a, like, you know, hard labor work camp or something, like a gulag out in Siberia. Like, you're in the Hamptons. You're fine. Yeah. Although he secretly was having the night that I would have liked to have had. I'm like, ooh, I want to put on a mask. can relax in a giant bed in the Hamptons right now. Yeah, but our diary room, if either one of us did that,

we would have been like, this is the best thing ever. People are parting and I'm very cold cream alone in my room. I love this trip. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So Kyle and Amanda have sex and he's like, there's a pillow in between us and it's firm. I was like, okay. She goes, isn't that my line? I was like my line is fast forward oddest sex talk I've ever heard A pillow, it's literally pillow talk A firm pillow Yeah

Put your pillow on me So now it's Sunday morning And Lindsay She starts talking about breaking up with All right She's telling who's you telling us She's telling the group She's telling Danielle

And Daniel's like Oh my God I'm from Hoboken And I'm Puerto Rican So I've never had my own room So like pool table, you know, like if they could do a pool table gazebo, like I'd even sleep there. Like I would love that. And Lutty's like, yeah, like, you know what?

I like girls for the petal makeup, but. Okay, so that's just a guy named Arroy. And like, we broke up in March. But then it's like dot, dot, dot because like, I don't know. I'd be like sad. I don't know. Like, here's all I want to know. I want to know who I'm at when I'm alone.

I'm like, like this. Yes. You're just like this. Bring back Everett. So you guys can fight again. You know, it's like, you stupid nerd, your jacket isn't even spelled right. It's all capital letters. What sort of grammar is that?

Please let Carl be like the special guest who just pops in mid-season. You know, they kind of neutered Lindsay because they took out Christina. They took out Everett. That was such a great potent storyline. That was my favorite storyline of last season. It was such a relatable thing about you have a friend and your friends are spending time with this awful boyfriend and you're just trying to live your life

and your friends making your friends choosing him over you. It was what made season one so riveting for me was that whole feud. And now she's like Lindsay being single. Now she's in a room with the workest trust. There will be plenty there. I know, I know. What did you say?

What did you say about me? I got the taco contracts. That's like, As long as there's more taco contracts to be had, there will be some Lindsay lines worth loving this season. I just, I feel like I want, like, I'm missing the presence of reporter Christina Gibson Reporting Live. I'm missing that person who's like a little awkward who is kind of starts these like gossipy moments, these passive aggressive moments, who just is not like unintentionally, well, maybe intentionally stirring. shit. I just I miss that X-factor that Christina brought. The X factor. Actually, I miss the X factor. I mean, what a show. That show has some promise, right, guys? So now we go to the gay

pride parade, and Stephen and Lauren are there, and it's like, where's Carl, where's Carl, where's Carl, what Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, says it's going to come, but no Carl, there's no Carl, Carl's not here, try me. Like, okay, Stephen, he's still mad about steak. So Carl comes, work is like, well, I'm here to support you. Does your family know? He's like, I'm really not sure if they even support me or if they know. I'm like, they know. Didn't they talk about it last year?

No, they do. I'm out of the closet, but I'm like in the changing area, which I thought was funny. Yeah, yeah. Because that's real thing. Yeah. Burm, brum, brum. So Lauren's like, you know what? Let's post it.

Let's post it on social media. He's like, yeah, I'm going to post it. She's like, I'm going to post it with you. It's like, that's 2018. friendship right there. Exactly. So Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl's here, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, and Stephen's like, okay, like, the one thing is don't take off your shirt, okay? Like, you don't take up your shirt, don't do that. So Carl's like, yeah, got it. Yeah, I was like, you got it. So they are walking around. It's like super fun. They're having a great time. And Carl's like, you know what I love about pride? There's no rules, no rules about pride. And I think I thought I heard a rule. But but I'm not sure I think I thought I heard it. So therefore, take it off my shirt. Everyone can look at, look at my chest hair.

Look at this. Doesn't it look like I just went down a skeleton on pepper track? I've got pepper on my chest. It's cruelly pepper. Steven's like, for the first 18 years of my life, I was the only gay person I knew. But then I see all of these people, and I feel like I'm still the best gay person I know.

So I'm doing something right. Steven's like, you know, Carl knows a lot about me, but there he is with his shirt off. I'm like, I wanted to experience this together. And when you look in the distance and you see an eight man dancing with drag queens, he's not here for me. Yeah. Yeah, because Carl just fully leaves him in the dust. And I love that when he took off his shirt, the music was like, dun, dun, don't, don. America, are you ready for some pastiness?

It's like the shirt comes peeling off. And Carl is like running around, hugging people on the side. lines and they're like Carl thinks he's like a mascot. He's like a mascot. Like look at Carl go. Look, where's Carl? Where's Carl? He's up ahead. I don't know where Carl's Carl. Well, who hates mascots? I mean, like that. Don't invite Carl to gay pride parade. Gay pride parade is where you go.

I don't approve of someone who thinks they're the mascot and Mr. Met standing right next to you, okay? True, true. I just said up. You're like, your point is well taken. Would you, would you claim to be the, the mascot The Philly fanatic is standing next to you? No.

It is silly nose. Would I try to be a devil on El Paso 10 cent hot dog night when I'm standing next to the Diablo? The devil. The devil mascot on 10 cent hot dog night. Dear Paso diablo's. That's right. That was a baseball joke. The point is that Carl made it all about himself.

And he left them behind and Lauren and Stephen were not happy about it. And you know what? I actually could understand it. And you know, here I am. complaining about like, you know, I don't have that like relatable, that feeling that I was getting from Christina and, and Lindsay, that, that relatable thing that you feel when a friend is leaving you behind or whatever. I'm like, here it is. Why am I complaining? It's right here. Carl and, Stephen. I hung up like five minutes ago. You're like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Are you

getting too big for me, Ronnie? Literally too big. I'm like, I can't make it out of the house anymore. Happy birthday, Ben. Happy birthday to me. Ben. Oh, don't leave me on my birthday or our birthday. Oh, man, I never would. Well, that was the summer house for mirrors. It was fine.

I think, you know, like last season, we're just going to have to settle into it. We settle in, let the pettiness rise slowly to the surface. Oh, yeah, I think it's going to be fun. It's already set up to just be a nightmare for some of these people. A meat's going to lose it. at some point. The work is already kind of lost it. Kyle's just going to lose it just from being drunk. Like, you know, he's going to go crazy. They all seem like they're going possibly go crazy. And I cannot figure, I cannot wait for Lindsay's like, I'm really nice and

to like, to like, wear off. I'm just going to wear it. See what new chapter of evil Lindsay we have waiting for us. Yeah. Yeah, I'm really excited for evil Lindsay to come back because nice lensie is like too nice. I don't, I don't like it. I want evil Lindsay back. Yeah. Also, proud comedy. You know it's going to go downhill. Well, everybody, thank you so much for listening for being here. Tomorrow we will be back with the Real House of New Jersey Reunion. The Top Chef and Married to Medicine episodes will be in our bonus next week.

So go check that out. And thanks to everybody for supporting us all these years. Happy anniversary to us and happy anniversary to you, crappins. Yes, darling. Have a wonderful day. We'll talk to you tomorrow. darling we love you guys bye

bye