Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Loverboy

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

It's finally here... the moment no one's been waiting for... KyManda's wedding! Yes, The Summer House finale brought us an event three years in the failing, and it was as okay as we expected! Plus, Lindsay and Carl admitted their growing meh-ttraction for each other, and Alex did something we remembered. What a way to end the season!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Maddleker and joining me today is the one and only Mr. Ronnie Carram. Hey, Ronnie, how you doing?

Well, happy. Hi. Welcome. Welcome everyone. Thank you. Yeah. It's the season finale of Summer House, which is what we're talking about today. And very excited to talk about it. Just a reminder,

we have, we are going to be doing, you have Patreon with, crap and on demand this week, we'll be doing real housewives of New Jersey. And the other one, we will have, the other one, we're going to, we'll let you know later in the week. Also, go to crap and smurch.com. Our tour may be over, but our merch, our hunky-dory 10th anniversary merch lives on. So if you weren't able to partake in the tour, you can feel like you were there by getting some of our merch. So go to crappensmerch.com.

There's also like non-hunky-dory tour merch. There's just crappin' stuff there. But the company we are working with, Podswag, it does a really amazing job. The our merch has never looked better. If I do say so myself and so go check that stuff out. And I think that's basically the news, right? So we can just go right. So let's get into it. I had a dream. I had a dream. I had a dream of Ronny's Kyle. Kyle, Kyle, do. I had a dream last night that I was on summer house, like a cast member.

It was weird. It was a dream that was like a mix of summer house and Elden Ring. It was so weird because it was like, it was summer house, but like as you watch around the summer house, there would be little glowing balls of light that you could pick up and it was items. And I just know that at one point, they were talking about winter house, and I was telling everyone, you guys,

they didn't pick me to go on to winter house, so I'm just gonna be on summer house. I was like, it's cool, I get it. You guys are more senior on the show, I understand. And so then I woke up feeling like, it's cool. I get it. You guys are more senior on the show. I understand. And so then I woke up feeling like, I woke up feeling like shit. I was like, wow, they don't think you're the winner house. You're like, I need to find someone to fuck on this show. I was like, I get it.

Hopefully you woke up inspired to have sex with the cast member, Ben. That's the only way. Okay. I see. The only way you make it. That's why they're auditioning their private parts all season, because they know that if they're not banging somebody or they're not eager to bang somebody, they're not gonna have that extra paycheck during the year.

It's very bachelor. It's like a new form of prostitution. Yeah, I woke up feeling very rejected. I was like, I was like, damn, not even in my dreams, even in my dreams, I don't get picked to go on to like, to the next thing, wow. I don't make the audition in my dreams. Be insecure, the totally insecure version of Summer House.

Love it. Kyle and Amanda got married and just like, you know, couples like this in real life who get married, it's all Instagrammed up. I mean, it's all over Instagram. Here's where we got married. Here's the day we got married. Here's what happened right after we got married. Hey guys, hope you're up for another wedding post. Here's what happened today. You know, it's been 36 hours since we got married. So now everybody's already on pregnancy watch because we all fear that this is going to be our next season. You know? Yeah. Well, my theory is that the next season is going to be the growing pains of being in the marriage. And then the season after that is going to be the pregnancy scare.

Uh, well, no, sorry. This season will have a pregnancy scare and the season after that is going to be the pregnancy scare. Well, no, sorry. This season we'll have a pregnancy scare and the season after that is going to be the baby season, pregnancy season. Yeah, what season did Katie and Tom get married? I am not totally, it's all blur. I think they got married in season five. I think it says here. Thank you, Internet.

Thank you, Bravo Daily Dish. So they got married in season five. So, you know, we missed it by a season because this is season six, right? But, yeah, it's kind of following that timeline. So, I hope that doesn't mean that we have to wait four years to watch the divorce because I need it now. Okay, I need it now.

So this season on you shouldn't get married ever or even date or even have lunch together, you're both terrible. And then we get about 10 minutes of this previously, which ends with Kyle sobbing shirtless in a tux jacket and shorts, which is where I left off. Yeah, pretty much like, because he, he in the middle of their prom party

decided to pull Amanda to the side to talk about having a prenup, and then they of course got into a fight. And so, you know, Amanda's like, Kyle, the reason you don't want me to sign a prenup is because I can fight you for half the company. He's like, fucking a, do yourself a favor and Google it. It's that easy, God.

She's like, I don't need to do the homework, which by the way, generally speaking, you probably always should do the homework. Amanda, just say, if you're about to get married to someone who has cheated on you in the past, you should do the homework. Oh, he's like, then hire a lawyer. Say, but I'm not a lawyer, I'm not the homework. Oh, he's like, then hire a lawyer. Say, but a lot of I am to hire a lawyer.

I'm not the one who wants things. So well, whatever we're gonna have for him is something I don't want. Well, you'll, it's better to hire a lawyer now than hire a lawyer later, you know what I'm saying? So. Here's my question. You want grandpa, you stressed him any, don't you? You better fight a fucking lawyer, because Kyle will invest that shit in some

shorts that you don't need to wear underwear and they'll still support your balls, okay? So Kyle does, okay? Yeah, so how did you grandaddy's trust? I Both of you just get married already. Please just get just do it. I wish Carl would just walk in and go guys We're gonna do it right now because Ronnie's head is about to pop off if he has to wait for this anymore. So it would run by the way. Yeah, so then everyone of course, by the way, it's like listening in on this fight

because Patience Yara were like on the other side of the wall. It was literally like some sort of like British first where they were like listening in and then scurrying away as Kyle comes around the corner. I mean, it was like a fish called Wanda. So then- It was like a freeze company. Like, you really think they're the finest plant?

She's like, all right, post like the plant. They just like put their hands up and he's like, oh, well, I guess I'm asking a plant now. Oh my god, the total worked. They're both standing behind paintings with the eyeballs cut out. Yeah, it was very 80s. Like, we're not listening.

So, paid is like, why is this happening right now and Sierra says oh, we literally have 20 days until the wedding So and I love that they've got even the people in the cast counting the days down Yeah, everyone knows the day count at this point because man doesn't know so many times So Kyle storms out of the house and he throws his lover boy across the lawn so mad and Craig is like, this is gonna be a fun wedding. Kyle's just yelling, I'm sick of about talking about this. Pre-Nup. I'm like, you are the one who literally brought it up in the middle of the party. Yes, you brought it up drunk in the middle of the party. And he does that whole like, okay, well, I'm getting buried. So I'm gonna have to apologize

for this. So you know what? I'm gonna, well, I'm getting buried, so I'm gonna have to apologize for this. So you know what, I'm gonna do a speed walk around the yard and then I'm gonna go inside and make up. So he just does a speed round, like a walka molly. It's like the mall's about to open. I gotta finish my walking. And he does a speed round around, a lap around the yard, cursing through himself the whole time

and then speed walks right back into the room. And meanwhile, Sierra's like, I mean, if you have a history of infidelity, got a prenup. Shut up. You want Austin. Okay. You're in no position. Yeah. So, cause like, I don't want to, I don't want to try and fight me. Like, I just want to have fun tonight. I'm like, not trying to fight. And she goes, okay, then don't give me a hard time. Kyle, he's like, I don't want to do this right now.

And she's like, well, don't bring it up. If you want to have a good night, then we'll drop it and agree to that. I'm like, well, this is also going to be their marriage, just like shoving things under the rug. I mean, it shouldn't have been brought up right now, but now that it's been brought up, like, yeah, maybe you should deal with it.

So then Alex is trying to hit on girls like this group of girls, which is really funny, because at first I saw it and I was like, look at Alex, like trying to get game. You know, he's like, hey, does everybody want shots? Like, I mean, I know it's like promed theme, but you guys are doing great shots, which I don't know how that's a pickup line that works for anybody, but I was kind of proud of him, but it only takes like two seconds before Andrea's like, thank you for keeping my girls company, yellow girls! I know.

And take some all the way from Alex. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, you realize that Alex is just like the warm up comedian for the audience at Seinfeld, you know? Yeah. I'm going to have the Merlman audience at Seinfeld, you know? Yeah, I'm going to have the man, Kenny, from Seinfeld, I'll pour you some shots while I make a think of.

So the Amanda is like, page, do you wanna do a shot? She's like, no, I'm gonna go out to the party because my man is out there. I'm like, well, this is why people are turning against page. It's stupid comments like that. People, you know, it's like that kind of thing. Like, it's like, it's like pages version of Colin Amanda's wedding a little bit, you

know. So then, Carl is like, hey, you're such a good day to all balls. Can you believe we're living tomorrow? And she's like, yes again. Oh, that's a weird yes on that I actually was not, but it's like a they that yes-and was like a no-but at the same time strange strange So Lindsay sees page speed walking across the yard. They get to my man and so she's like oh my god Bing and page stops they stop like both on that red carpet

Yeah, because they're maxinistas, okay, so they stop up. They're like hoat or hot or hoat because they're Mexicanistas, okay? So they stop at like hot or hot or hot. So they stop on that red carpet and Paige keeps trying to do that thing where she's smiling at Lindsay but trying to walk away. It's like when you're waiting tables and someone's like, I just wanted to tell you,

the food here is just something else. And you're like, great. And you keep thinking the conversation's over but you have like 10 other tables. So Paige is doing that the whole time where she's trying to walk away. And Lindsay's like, oh my God, it's so cute. That Greg surprised you. It's like, yeah. Like walking away. No, but like the way you are with him. Yeah. No, but like the way the

he makes you smile. Yeah. I'm like, I want that, you know. Yes, Lindsay, we know you want that. Okay. It's been like the American Idol Aud audition season that's never fucking ended with you. We know you want it. Lindsay. Okay. Well, it's like a butterfly feeling. It's like that's why like you're like go into Zara and you find something that's marked like 60% off. It's like that feeling like all day long. And that's my like dinner. I was like it doesn't matter going from guy to guy because we're trying here. We're like trying here. And you know the truth is Lindsay, it doesn't matter if you're young or old or in your case, very old. You can find love at any age.

Lindsay, you may have to take your teeth out to eat, but you don't have to take your heart out. You know what I'm saying? Also, her revision is history of, that's why dinner. I was like, it doesn't matter if you go from kind of guy because we're just trying. I was like what? When were you so I don't remember you ever being supportive and yeah ever actually but nice try so then they hug and They're like I love you. I love you and you're not gonna settle to find the perfect man Okay, I cannot wait to meet the perfect man that you don't settle at all for He'll probably be 90 and not be able to speak anymore. You'll probably have to host his butt down every night before you go to bed. But you know what,

that's love. Bye. Can I go now? Can I do? Ever considered maybe making a romantic overture towards Chaz Pomenteri? He might be more on your cringe. I don't know. So Lindsay's like, well, and Paige meanwhile is still trying to walk away. I could not stop laughing. So Lindsay's like, well, and Paige, meanwhile, is still trying to walk away. I could not stop laughing. So Lindsay's like, well, it's down to 280 ends. Paige is like Carl and Hussie other idiot. I'm sorry. I just know the one that I should have had first, but now suddenly he's totally fine going

on Monday night page with you and being sober and monocomist. So there's Carl, but who's the other one? She's like, um, hello, who is Craig's best friend? What do you think I'm talking to you right now? Oh, Paige is like, oh, bitch. Okay, well, I guess we'll all move to Charleston together. Don't tempt me with a fucking good time. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

She's like, damn it, Lindsay. If you encroach on my story line, you know, I also like that page earlier was like, you know what, you don't have to settle, you're gonna find something great. And now Lindsay's like one of her top two contenders is Austin. I mean, the settling is right, it's baked in. Yeah, yeah.

So Luke is giving people shots. He's a kid, he want a shot, she wants a shot, get you guys your nets. So Oliver and Maya are being all flirty and she's like, come out to my room. So he does and he's like, wow, you make your bed and she's like, so if I didn't make my bed you would like me. He's like, that's right. That's their romantic storyline kind of wrapped up.

I like that. And then for a nice wrap up. Yeah, and then Carl is talking to Craig and he's like, whoa, that's a sick fucking suit dude. You look great You look great, but I am and page is Sarah. Yes. Oh, oh don't or I guess maybe Craig says it and I think you live from Zara And she pages like Sarah and Carl's like, oh, don't say the Z Don't say the Z word in front of her. You may need to call the plumber her basement will be flooded instantly You basically straight by the way if you don't say the Z word in front of her. You may need to call the plumber. Her basement will be flooded instantly. Oh, he basically looks right by the way.

If you don't have a saying. So then Alex tries again with Sierra. And he's like, hey stranger, before we leave, I've got to ask you, who's a better kisser? Me or Carl? She's like, yeah, I don't remember. We'll have to try again and see. Bye.

And walks off. Sierra and Paige do a lot of speed walking away from people on this show. Yeah. So then, uh, Paige is like, um, she pages like talking to Craig having a cute seat moment. She's like, I can't believe you were in Jersey last night when I faced him. Do you like you played it off so good? Like you're really sneaky. He's like, yeah, I was telling my Uber driver. I was like, I'm gonna go see this girl.

And then when he dropped me off, he was like, he was rooting for me. And he was like, go. And I was like, I'm gonna go see this girl and then when he dropped me off, he was like, he was rooting for me and he was like, go. And I was like, that's cool. And I was like, it was like really cute. And then like, I walked in the door and then you were there. And it was like, really cute. And you were like, not wearing a dress, but then like, you changed your dress later. So it was like a really cute moment for both of us. And I got this, it's Zara. So like, it's cute. We're both cute. Yeah. Like, wow, I really like it. How, like, I didn't really even know where you were. You know what I mean? Me saying, I don't really ever know what Craig's doing. Like, wow, I really like it. How, like, I didn't really even know where you were. You know what I mean? I mean, me saying, I don't really ever know what Craig's doing. Like, you can tell me you're here, but you're not here. You know, you can tell me you're in Jersey,

but you're not really in Jersey. You can tell me you don't have another family, but like, somewhere you secretly do. It's like, totally cute. I love it. It's so adorable with the way you're such a good liar. I just love it. I love it.

So cute together. So Danielle and Robert decide to have a talk about Charleston. And Danielle's like, yeah, we haven't really had great luck in this room. I mean, I think we need to sage the place. Have we ever seen a fight in this room? I know. I feel like they're overestimating how much their like small tiff has made an impact on the audience. Like, oh, we're back in this room, the danger room. Fight room.

Do you think they just left Danielle on the cutting room floor? Like, oh, we're back in this room. The danger room. Fight room. I read everyone. They just left in, y'all on the cutting room floor. Because Danielle seems to think she has a bigger storyline this season. I think it's on the cutting room floor. Yeah. So, yeah, basically, they have a talk about Charleston and Robert's like, you know, we hopefully

had our darkest point that became our highest point. And these couple, the past couple of weeks, I've never been happier. Just tell us if we're going to Charleston. It's fine. We're really not that invested in this. I mean, I think it's kind of interesting that he came on this show and he's the one who's end up moving to Charleston to most likely do another TV job in Charleston, like either for Levo's restaurant or something. I mean, there has to be something connected there, right? I haven't heard what it is, but it has to be.

Which is funny. And it's funny that Danielle still has to follow somebody else around for a TV job. You know, it's like, oh, Danielle, like you just can't win, Danielle. So she's like, okay, the answer is yes, I will be on Southern Charm, but there's gonna be conditions, okay?

And she's like, yeah, really, my only request was that I get to come back to Newark a lot to see Lindsay. So I'm gonna get to visit two sets this season. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great. It means that she's gonna be on Summer House and Southern charm, or if there's some sort of like, love us enough with her restaurant, she'll be on that instead.

But yes, there's definitely seating Danielle on, you know, to sort of continue to cross promote these franchises. Yes, Danielle's just excited to see another craft services. She's like, I wonder if they have to read those on the other craft service in Charles. Do you think the chips are different in Charleston? Like there's so much like New York to a Charleston activity on this cast all of a sudden.

It's just so odd. I mean, it of a sudden. It's just so it's just so odd. I mean, it's not odd. It's obviously not odd. It's like not by Bravo. Yeah. It's a little of the most obvious thing. So then Andrea is screaming the whole time. He's one of those people who just screams, you know, just like show you how much fun he's having. So it's like, he's the body. This is the first to prom. I know! I know I think we need him to go back to crying for Lexi because he is like when he gets over stimulated he is like a log. Everybody's a poor part and a weak part. Okay, okay, Andrea, let's put them back into his crate.

So let's go check on Lucas. He's talking to his lady and he's like, uh, he having fun. She goes, I'm having a great time. Okay. And he's like, yeah, that's what this is about. Did you see that fair? I made that. It's my best work. And then we go back to Alex who is now cheering with Sierra. They're like, sort of like drinking, like levert boy or something with interlocked arms and Carl goes give her a cool So so then they finally kiss again and then Andrea is standing right there and Andrea is once again He's like I'm like listen

I really make out and Andrea screams in the else I know like your boy has been trying for Sierra all this time could you not scream in his face while he's finally getting like a, like a make-out session with her that's not part of a game? I know you already took away a whole group of girls who used for to go with, like not five minutes ago, then he moved away from you to try again with Sierra. I know you're screaming in their face for that. Let the man live his life, okay? Yeah. Let the man live his boring life.

Yes. So then Sierra, they, they, they kissing ends in serious. Um, okay. So Carl is definitely the batter kisser. I'm just kidding. But you know, she's like, I'm not kidding. Well, she gets him back because he's like, that was good. You taste like pizza. She's like, Oh, really? Then Carl's a better kisser. And looks like, whoa, you guys are cute. You know what? You'd look cute. Cuter, by the fair,

which I mean, man, it worked out cute. You know what, you'd look cute, cute or bad? The fair, which I mean. Man, it worked out, worked out great. Everything. And then your favorite part of all, which is when Amanda kicks everyone out of the party. That's, it's her favorite part, and I know it's your favorite part to watch her do that. Yep, just turn on the floor essence and say,

you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. So then, Mayan Oliver talk about how much they actually really like each other even though it's only there four-week anniversary And she's like yeah, you make me happy and he's like you make me happy. She's like I'll walk you out I'm telling you're not gonna if you walk into a girl's room and she has got a jar of peanut butter on the nightstand You're not staying over, okay? Because a jar of peanut, no matter how good of a man you are, a jar of peanut butter is always gonna be. Been there, respect, Maya. I if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Yeah, and then down in the living room, people are sort of dancing and and Carl is like hey, I'm trying to have a good time

I'm see who's the what's the what's it? I'm the one there. Oh my darn you're calling me. I'm saying I'm saying yeah, I hope you want That's basically what the relationship is now by the way if you go over to the apartment now I'll get all of it. That's basically what the relationship is now, by the way, if you go over to the apartment now, I was like, I'll be all of it. I'll be all of it. I'll be all of it. I'll be all of it. So then Luke is doing basically what you think Luke was doing

when he has a hot girl in his bed. He's like, you know what I'm gonna do? Tickle the guitar, okay? Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, you know, I have to say it's better than what's this face was Perry, you know Perry would be like why aren't you looking at me? Why aren't you looking at me? What's going on? Why aren't you talking to me? Am I too boring? Huh? Huh? So then Lindsay is doing that paste around her room as everybody goes to sleep and she keeps checking down the hall to see if anybody can see her

And then she sneaks into Carl's room and she keeps checking down the hall to see if anybody can see her and then she sneaks into Carl's room. And she's like, Carl, you know some money, don't you, Carl? And he's like, oh, I appreciate that. I hope you won't say it. I appreciate it so much. I appreciate that. Thanks, you look great, Paul.

You look great, Paul the way. So then now it's the morning, and Lindsay's leaving Carl's room, and Craig and Paige are having another officially cute moment. I like you What I like you So then the kitchen everyone's cooking and you know Andrea had fun So he's feeling better about life and then we got to Carl and Lindsay and Lindsay's like, Carl, I'm like, I'm saying, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm, you know, you're a good fronting by the way. And he's like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm saying,

I'm like, I'm saying, I'm like, I'm saying, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like. I'm not really sure where he just testimony her new just diary room thing is, but I think it's like I'm a relationship. I'm in a relationship and I live in a suburb of Nashville now. Yeah, and I'm happy. She's definitely like I just went to like a Blake What's his face concert? What's Gwen Stefano's boyfriend? She's a she is a country fan. She has posted on her Instagram that like going to various country concerts.

So it does make sense. But it's just like a whole style change, you know, like when you move outside the, yeah, you know, it's a shift. So she's in the fall. I would not be surprised if in the fall she adopts that look. I feel like in the summer, she's like, oh, I'm only a little about some hours, but then the fall, the moment the fall hits, it's like

pumpkin spice, Nashville hair, like brown fedoras, like that's what she is. Like so they recorded this in the fall, like it was, you know, clearly. Well, and Carl loves a good fedora moment. I would think that Carl would love a good fedora moment for Lindsay, because you know, he's very like pants oriented, like he's still trying to make his white pants work in the fault, but they'll be like cream colored. Yeah, yeah. It's, there's a lot of changes in Carl's life.

And obviously the biggest change is that I'm going full time, I'm hoping it's a whole time, I'm hoping it's a whole time. Well, after January, when the year is up. It's like there's this official date that it's like said, the seal is broken. Official date when all of a sudden, like your emotions have, can suddenly be managed in that way. So.

So, Kyle and Amanda have a talk about how much fun it was, but like I'm crying all, and just want you to know, like I want the business, which is the best for us and the best for our future to be going good. And don't worry about the business. Of course, you want the businesses to be good because you want to take half of it.

But you're not blaming me because you're marrying him. You two are so shut up, you two. Because he's like, oh, yeah, now we got to talk about it. You know, it was a wrong time to talk about business, but we do got to talk about it. Because it's going to be like the busiest couple of weeks. There's going to be so much footage that we take of ourselves sobbing over the next couple of weeks.

Hold on, I just got a working email. It's from Carl and he says he is going full time, hubzy, wubzy. I don't even know what that means, but it can't be good. How can he do this to us right before winning? So everyone's packing up and everyone leaves the house and they're like, goodbye house, goodbye porch, goodbye large bush or something like that. And then we like, goodbye. Good bye. And then we got like the thing that we normally see at the very end of the season, which is that

it turns into an episode of 24 for about five seconds, where we see all the different security cameras and monitors, and then they all just shut off one by one. And it does that, but then the show continues. And we get our last Trixie song at the house of the summer. And I love the lyrics. I can't right now. I wish it could last forever. I'm like, I can't. I like the thus lyrics of a song.

I just like, I can't, I literally can't right now. I wish it could last forever. It will. If we're talking about Kyle and Amanda's forever. It will. If we're talking about Kyle and Amanda's wedding, it will. So now it's Tuesday and Andrea is at, I'm back at an underwear shirt. Ah, so much fun underwear. Ah, back to work.

In my underwear. They ain't never gonna stop me. No, no, no, they ain't never gonna stop me. This time in his underwear, it's like you go. It's like working, you know, it's like working girl, and underwear. So page is in her closet. It's like, welcome to New York Fashion Week.

I've never had an outfit sent to me before, so it's very exciting. It's brown shorts and like a black and silver top, which don't really work together, but you know what, it was free. So suck at New York, suck throwing her hat in my ear. And then we go into basically like the reboot of Blair Witch Project, which is watching Kyle and Amanda planning their wedding from their apartment from their cell phones and zoom like various like footage from zooms, which I actually thought like this was the most entertaining

part of this entire wedding process of the past three years is watching them devolve in a found footage segment, you know, like this is this was like so deeply entertaining for me. I wish that we had an hour of this just like losing their minds because it starts off well. They're zooming with a girl named Rachel who's a floral designer who of course is like, um, hello, I will definitely have my shit on TV. I will do this no problem So they love her and Amanda's like, you know, it all worked out perfectly and we found a florist I mean, it's who would have ever thought and she wound up even being better than anyone we'd even looked at like it's so wonderful And Kyle's like yeah, everything happens for a reason, right?

And it goes boom later that day. And then everything just goes to shit. Yes and it's like Kyle thinks he has cold head. I can't like the song just said two things before this. I can't. And then I go Friday positive. It's the only time I think in the history of COVID where a positive diagnosis has actually been funny, I think, in for COVID. Well, I mean, your super spreader prom probably didn't help guys. Okay, prom party.

But let's just get 100 extras right before our wedding. During that was also during the time of, well, I guess it wasn't as bad. Delta Delta was raging. I guess maybe earlier in the season, but either way. So Amanda's like, yeah, and then the next day, I woke up to reach X and I have danced at 1000 and two. And then it's just Amanda sobbing, okay?

They just cut, they're like day one. Day two. Day two. Day three. Oh. Okay, they just cut they're like day one day two Just like I can't even leave our apartment and we have a week to do so much Kyle They're like guys you're in quarantine, so please film yourselves. So Kyle puts his phone up to his face And just start sobbing right into his phone. Like, you don't need to film yourself, so that's the second time this week on Bravo. Cause Kenya did it too.

Like Kenya, we need footage. And she just like does a selfie of herself sobbing on the plane back from dancing with the stars. Like, okay, guys, so people are so fucking weird with what they have. They present themselves. I remember there's this one guy who's to follow and his friend was like a book John TV show.

So he does his Instagram story and he aims his camera at the TV show and it's like, man, like whatever her name was, like Stephanie, congratulations, that you did it, you're on a Hulu show. And then like he has five IG stories of him watching the show, not her, but like, oh, we're watching him. We're watching his emotional reaction to the show.

I'm like, sir, you realize like your attempt to support your friend is just you showing yourself like you're saying, look at me watching the show and being thoughtful and understanding in the show. I'm like, get out of here. Yeah. Some people are more interested in the reaction to their own emotions about what it's a weird thing. I remember being like 13 and I had just become friends

with like the cool group of girls and my, well, I thought they were cool. And my junior high school that I was new to. And they were like, all drama queens, of course. I know everyone's shocked out there. And I'm like, I would walk holding my books in front of me against my chest like that. I was about to say you like to have a keeper.

Yeah, I was happy to keep your image. You always give. Yes, I was like that kid. And they were so dramatic and we would pass notes back and forth. And so they would be like, oh my god, like Tony was so mean to me, I'm never speaking to him again, sob. And so I wrote this note. I was like, oh my god, you guys, like whatever dramatic thing happened to me, I'm never speaking to him again, sob. And so I wrote this note, I was like,

oh my God, you guys, like whatever dramatic thing happened to me the day, here's where I cried, right now on this paper, because I'm crying as I write this, and I circled, I circled a little piece of paper, I was like, that's where I cried. I was like, that's where I cried. That's where I cried. And I found that like years later, because I don't know, I still had it in my stuff.

I was cracking up. But that reminds me of this, you know, of Carl being like, I'm going to take a selfie of myself. Oh, I'm feeling things. Well, also the way this was all edited together was hilarious because the editors did such a good job of sort of creating, like showing how they're both, like, such false narrators. Like, you'd see Kyle say, listen, everything is gonna be totally fine.

He's like, oh, we can't get a break with this fucking wedding. Yeah. Like, there'd be like, so optimistic in one shot and just go right to them, just like, bawling. Oh, it was so good. And I'm just like bawling and whining. When they have, by the way, a wedding planner and her parents, I mean, Donna is low key.

This is Donna's wedding also. Good Donna is so all about this wedding. So you know Donna's doing all these things. Donna's trying on the dress for her and everything. Like, but they're being so, so dramatic. Yes, you know, everybody acts like parenting such a miracle, because Kyle and Amanda say a few times in this episode, like, it's a miracle that it's coming together at all.

It's not a miracle, it's Donna, okay? And you know what happened when Donna had Amanda? They said, congratulations on the miracle. And Donna's like, that wasn't a miracle. I thought that loser. For, okay. And remember, this is miraculous. It's Donna working her ass off to get shit done.

I just was, I honestly was like very sad when it goes one week later. I just want to see more and more of their misery, their claustrophobic misery in their apartment. Like that was funny. Like that was, I was like, finally, as the director says in soap dish, finally drama. So, but anyway.

The set also sucks. That's what they call on us. Um, yeah. And short. And of course it's short. Total Kyle and Amanda having COVID because COVID is worse for Kyle and Amanda than literally everybody on earth. You know, it's like, let's watch COVID. It's like the first time I think I can remember that we've seen people on TV losing their shit about it too. Cause usually when people get it on their TV, they're like, oh, God, I got COVID. I got to stay in for a little while. But with the wedding pressure, it's like, oh, COVID, I could go to stay this to a scale. It was amazing. But then eventually, it's one week later and it's the wedding day, which in some

way, we didn't have to do the rehearsal dinner. we didn't have to do the bachelor party, we just got right to it, which I appreciated. And I also, this is sort of surprising, I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I kind of enjoyed this wedding. Like I don't, I mean like it wasn't an amazing episode, but like I have to say, watching this wedding play out, there was something actually, I don't know, it felt like a real wedding. It didn't feel like a Vanderpump rules wedding. I was like, oh, I was like, I'm surprisingly affected by this and I'm like mortified right now.

Well, you don't have to go sign. You don't have to go to the chorus line. I felt nothing. Nothing, I felt nothing. And I was the one for cries at every wedding, okay? I will cry at even a TV wedding. I start crying. I'm like, what's wrong with me?

But this one I was like, just shut up. Even when they got up to do their vows, I was like, shut up. I know this wedding is gonna go on for another year on Instagram. Just be quiet. Yeah. So anyway, Amanda's house. And then Amanda's like, she's like in makeup

and she's writing her vow. And she's like, you know, she's talking about how they got everything done. I like she, you know, she says the stuff that they had to cram into five days was, you know, fitting. And here's how marriage license DIY signage seating charts. And they show, they just cut to Kyle on his laptop with the seating chart going, wait, all the guests just got deleted. But my seat chart is the one thing that you can do

very easily while trapped in your apartment in COVID. I think that'd be the most fun thing is doing that the seating chart puzzle at home. I feel like seating charts should only be for the bridal party and the people who are in the wedding. I feel like I should not have to sit next to your fucking weird cousin from Kentucky, who nobody likes, just because no offense to Kentucky.

I think we just talked about Brits and Jacks, so that's why it's in my head. But I shouldn't have to sit next to like, Britney's cousin, just because I'm single. You know what I mean? I should get to choose to sit with the fun couples. And you know, Amanda also did a terrible seating chart. Let's be honest. God, I feel so bad.

Yeah, I feel like she put Lindsay probably at like a table with a bunch of like 80 year old people away from the way from the music, because it's too loud. And she's like, I guess I should write my vowels now. Really? Really. So you have written your vowels and page goes, just to a song, like brass monkey or something. Like the funky monkey.

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG. So she's of course looking up vowels on the internet. And then Carl and Kyle are having their moment. And Kyle's like, me and Amanda, we've been through like so much. Really? What have you been through? Could you list it? Because I would love to hear that. Did you escape from like a war zone? What have you been through Kyle? You cheated on Amanda, okay? That's what happened and then she's bitched at you about it for five years. Well that is a lot. I have to deal with that to deal with that too.

So then Kyle is in his like, ease in his room with Carl and another Kyle and Kyle's like, how you doing, man? And Carl's like, I'm good now. How are you doing over there? Also, everything going? Did you hear that I'm full time? So, I'll see you well, see you now.

Yeah, really love that nickname, full time. Full time doing it, full send. Benefits are like odd spray tams odd Chan lines underdresses good benefits Cause it has my hair his hair by the way cause hair looked fantastic. I'm not gonna lie. He He does a good wedding here, okay, and in fact Carl agrees he goes, oh, it's pretty dumb, go it. So then page is, page says, I went to a wedding

and he said that he, oh, it's page is talking to Amanda. I was like, what is page talking about? So he's a man that's trying to come up with vows. So she's like, I promised in kiss you before bed every night. She's like, yeah, I think it's every night before bed. Like, grammar is important. Okay, this is an Instagram. She's like, oh my god, thank you. That's okay. Just like, oh, here's what you can add in. Um, I, uh, so it's like I went to a wedding once and, um, he said like, he promised to, uh, something about things that

were important to her, like, little moments. I can't remember it. We should just call Craig, because you remember, okay, good excuse to call Craig. Okay, Craig, Craig on the page show, okay, here we go. So of course she's just using it as, it's like the most generic vow that she's trying to remember, which is like, I promise to do all the little things that you enjoy. Yeah, so stupid.

But she just use that as like, used to call Craig. Craig's like, well sure, I'm a bridge. Oh my God, you are, That's amazing. I love Paris. I'm gonna go there with you. He's like, just kidding. I'm coming to backyard. Oh my God, if you were so stinky, you totally got me. So, hey, so Craig, what was that part of the vow

that you really liked? Oh yeah, my favorite part was, I vow to appreciate the small things that are important to you. That's it. Couldn't remember that. It was so hard. I remember going to trick it. Oh yeah so hard. I remember going, yeah. Look, I'm like, I've got that kind of,

because it says, I've on Never Do Lose or Spark and always keep doing the little things. Oh my God, we must have read the same website. I just love how it's just like a perfectly lovely and totally generic sentiment. And they're like, how does it go again? I promise to appreciate you. The word is you. That's what it is. Oh, God. Thanks for Craig. There's like some website from middle class

wasp generic blonde people to go on to get their vows because I'd hear those at every wedding. Wow. You had me. Hello. and I'm gonna do the little things, and I'm never gonna go to bed angry. You're my person. You're my person. He's like, I get a gather, laundry, kitchen. Okay, those are just wooden science commercials, but you know what, you wrote something down.

So we're gonna be together forever. About last night, you can use that one. Or also, I did a thing and I just footage from Coachella. Can you actually just like speak footage from Coachella into your vow? So then it's the time for the actual wedding. So Lindsay's like, oh my my god I didn't win was a big day back here was It's an ongoing sentiment because everyone who walks in is like Alex is like wow I didn't realize that their their backyard would be this big wow you can really raise a bunch of turkeys out here You've known I'm saying Here comes one right now. So this new girl Rachel and by the way the rumor from Bravo and Cocktails,

the blind item was that this Rachel, this is all a fake story line so that Rachel can be on the next season. So I don't know if they've really officially cast her on the next season. She's very giggly. But yeah, she's real cute. You know, I like her. She's like, I'm really cute and giggly and also I have an arm sleeve of tattoos. Like, you don't know what you're gonna get from me. So it'll be interesting to see if that comes true because fucking Amanda, if this whole Amanda sobbing for literally a month was just for an intro

to a new character, come on. That's a lot. That's a lot. I say bring back Christina Gibson. I say bring back reporter Christina Gibson reporting large at large. Okay. That would really shake things up. No, Christina Gibson's out living her best life.

I see her on the Instagram. Yeah. She's got like a hot husband and a baby and I think she lives in Florida or something. Yeah. I feel like every time she posts a picture, it's like, I'm happy. It's still having fun at the summer house. Drunk loser sluts. Okay.

I'm happy. Bye. Every post is just rubbing it in. And just like I just and then cut to her walking down the streets of West Palm Beach with a baby in one arm and a giant magnum of rosé dragging behind her like still carrying this thing around. Okay. So Rachel comes to her bouquet and Amanda is like, Oh my God, that's like stunning.

You're like literally a live singer. And then Sierra comes in and she's like to the wedding and she's like, Wow, didn't realize this backyard was so huge. And then Austin just ambles in the loan, just sort's like, wow, didn't realize this backyard was so huge. And then Austin just ambles in alone, just sort of like, in the most annoying, you wouldn't think that walked like, ambling into an event space could ever be done in an annoying way. But somehow Austin did that too. I'm like, he even made ambling annoying.

Austin just comes in looking like an angry drunk. He's like all red in the face, his face is all furrowed. I guess he knows that everybody hates him in this place. He doesn't want to talk to anybody. And then Sierra's all upset on the other side of the backyard, pretending not to look at him, but like looking at him and being all upset about it. Wow. And then Carl is talking to Kyle.

He's like, so, uh, and the other thoughts and the other notes, like, I, you know, ring is on the left hand, right? You know that, right? And then Kyle's like, wow, I love how seriously you're taking this because I'm sure as hell haven't been, as well as the Earth's going out. I'm gonna visit you. They're in a bedroom and they're looking out the blinds

to the back yard. Carl like opens the blinds with his fingers and he's looking at me Oh wait, hold up. I'll do it for your hike. It comes like a foot down. It doesn't so Kyle can see So Carl is the efficient. He's like it's an incredible honor. I mean you supporter of them I'm gonna guide them to the finish line on you know like I'm in a lot of meetings and they tell me the meeting that you shouldn't officiate wedding until like you're like six months in and I hit that day yesterday so proud to be here. Totally serve. Totally serve. And Kyle's like well I'm just he's

Kyle's just excited about everything and Kyle's like well I can see who I will look at her like you guys are going to be like just better and better. And like I'm from like convinced like, well, I almost choked up in there. Oh, but to be fair, I choked up because I thought of like, is there a better nickname than Hopsie Websy? I don't think so. Brings the journey out.

So, Kyle's mom of course, comes in and it's like, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah. And she's like, should we practice our dance on him? He's like, oh my god, mom. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- that I've ever seen. I'm like touched Amanda. She's like, Mom, Mom. And then Carl is talking to Kyle's dad. I think Peter and Carl's like, so you look great, Bob. You look great. You already nervous at all.

And Peter's like, Peter sounds exactly like Kyle in 40 years. He's like, I ought to be, but I'm not gonna marry. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, you just do a lover boy across the art. Let's hope that, huh?

Oh, so everybody's hugging and crying. And the dad, Amanda's dad hugs her and he's like crying and he just takes her face and he's like, don't do it, Brittney. Don't do it. So then Amanda and Kyle are going to take their wedding photos before the ceremony. So she walks up to him and taps him on the folder and then they have the folder. She's like, um, hi.

Can I talk to my husband and a lot? Thanks. Did I say folder? She taps him on the folder Tossed on the shoulder, but perhaps the folder too And they have a moment ago. Hi. Hi like that annoying thing like like if you're having a like a cute moment a cute romantic moment You both say hi for some reason? So then she's they're doing that thing where they're fake crying at each other She's like and he's like, she's like, he's like, oh, mother, one of

you are crying to stop. So she's like, can you kiss Kyle? So he does. Are you ready? Come on. He's like, yeah, it's happening. I can't believe that. It's all happening. And Kyle's like, wow, we really beat the odds, you know, five summers ago. And then the editors give their wedding gift to Kyle and Amanda. Here's the montage of the dysfunction that they are turning a blind eye towards on this very special day.

And we just see when Kyle first met Amanda, like it goes all the way back and it just is like all the summers. And he's like, I didn't know what I had until I was about to lose it. Of course, I'm talking about my the summers and he's like I didn't know what I had it to loads about to lose it of course I'm talking about My Klondock bars. Oh my god. They almost melted over the summer was terrible. So then Yeah, and there's a room to go in Ralph and I like hooked up with some chat

I'm just like thank you Kyle and He's like yeah that homemade me realize this is is the woman I'm supposed to spend my life with. I'm not saying it's a perfect journey, but it's a journey that we, oh, I'm gonna cry. No, it's not coming. We chose that. Can we do that again? I want to cry. I want to cry. This one. Could we take that cell phone footage of me sobbing and then just put these words over that? That would be great. Thanks. So then the guests are all gathering and we just see Lindsay like ordering around a photo.

We take my photo please. Um, on my phone, on my phone please, on my phone, on my phone please, come on, please. And then one of her friends is like, so are you with Carl, what's going on? I was like, is Daniel late? Like, where is this, this is Daniel's job. Yeah, Lindsay's like,

Falling, he was in my apartment apartment and I'm like, oh, he was like, who's your day to the wedding? Oh, Hubsie, what's he? And I was like, you are cartleto and he was like, great, I mean, I can't even leave that story. That's like crazy. Yeah, and Yvonne is like, but is that going to be weird with Austin? No, it'll never be weird with Austin. And then we just see Austin sort of like slaubring to the crowd like his you know

lips macking around trying to find Lindsay. And let's see Sierra's like yeah I haven't seen Austin since he'd left the Hamptons and that's probably for the best but like I look really hot today because like I wanted to dress it was like I fucked up. You know what I mean? Like I want to just think that. So then it cuts to Austin looking all mad and alone. It's like poor sad, don't get lost in. Yeah, because he waves a Craig. He like waves a Craig to be like, bro, but like Craig doesn't see him. So then he's like, his like all contemptuous

because he wasn't way back to. So it's time to walk down the aisle and Amanda is walking with I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy.

I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad guy. I'm not sure if he was a bad vow. She should have asked her dad for help. I also liked, by the way, we see Jane. Jane is like, that's Kyle's mom. She's like upset because she forgot to pregame. And then we see it. They cut to a shot of Kyle's grandma sitting there in the audience, just looking at her empty glass. Like, why the fuck has no one refilled this for me? I am 95 years old. Get me another cocktail. All right. Well, first I'd like to welcome everyone here. You all look great by the way.

Thanks to the Bajula family. Thanks to the Kyle family. Oh my God, I'm sweating. I'm totally sweating right now, though Jesus. I was like, wow, great start. Yeah, great start, Eddie. Carl is, I think we've all endured this. The wedding where a friend is the efficient.

And Ron and I both have been the efficiency for people's weddings. But there's a lot of weddings where a friend is the efficient and Ronnie and I both have been the efficiency for people's weddings, but there's a lot of weddings where the friend is asked to be the efficient and then the friend makes it all about them. Have you noticed that Ronnie like the friend efficient? It's like oh my god. When I first met these people I was like they are so cute and I remember they came over and I was like I love these and I told all my friends, these guys were gonna get together and the funniest thing is that like one time,

I needed to borrow a car, but then she used one who brought it over for me and I thought like that's like, sir, no one cares about your stories about you and how you relate to these people. But that's what always happens. One of my best friends had her girl best friend as her bride's maid for her wedding.

This girl, oh my God. I don't know, she probably, I'm sure she doesn't listen, but I guess I shouldn't say her name, but let's say her name was Wannis, okay? So this girl, Wannis, which is hard to guess who that could be. But this girl was like,

so you know, like we always thought that Sarah was never gonna get married because like she just like I mean She'd like didn't want to but then I got married and so she was like, you know Like wanted to get married more so I was so happy for her when she met John like it was so sweet and like You know to see how far she's come, I mean, like, she used to wear blazers in high school. I mean, and like, since we be, I mean, now look at her, since we became friends.

Like, she looks so beautiful. She found a beautiful guy. I mean, the speech was so, she was like, dissing the girl for being basically ugly until she met Wannis, you know, wow. It was taking credit for her relation. It was every terrible thing in one speech. I died.

I will never forget that speech. Yeah, friend of his shians are, that's dangerous. So Carl does a thing where he winds up spending the first chunk just talking about him being inefficient. So he's like, oh, some of you may be wondering if I'm qualified for today's proceedings. Fear not, I was ordained online by the Universal Life Church four years ago,

and this is one thing I cannot be fired for. So I will say though, calling me Father Radke sounds pretty good, but you guys can just call me daddy. Ha, ha, ha, my carl, no one cares about your journey to become ordained. Say something about marriage, say something about the couple. No one cares about your journey to become ordained say something about marriage say something about the couple No one cares about your journey. Oh It's like all of you have a role in the madden cars love story

You're all extras who have had to listen to this blabbing bullshit for five years By being here you're showing your support for this union So if anyone has a problem speak now or forever hold your peace now is peace spelled P-E-A-C-E Like wow, I'm peaceful and I'm gonna hold it or is it like you have a piece to speak like P-I-E-C-E I don't really know but I I'm sure I prefer the second version because that word has pie in it and I'm quite delicious am I right thanks for coming everybody I remember the first time I got a Thoris I was in third grade and I looked at so many words and it's kind of amazing to think about how many different words there are.

It's kind of like how there are so many different ways you can get ordained. I mean, I chose the way with universal life church and that's what I chose to get here today and they say, well, it's been about 30 minutes since this wedding started and you say in your first month of sobriety, if you're still talking after 30 minutes, you're safe. So I feel really good right now about everything going on. So when we get everybody's opinion, Daniel's like, I'd be lying if I said I didn't doubt this,

but there's so much love here. Like you can end up backyards really big. And I mean, they made it like so much that other couples would break up with each other over, you know, it's like they just knew that this is the person They wanted to be miserable with and they just went with it. So good for that. It's so powerful when you see What can happen if both people lower their standards you really can have a great party If you're stamped or too high just lower them watch me next season on 7 charm

So Carl's like oh no, never serious part guys, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the exchanging of the wows, I'm gonna say wows because wow, both of you, I love you, you love the grab of the wow, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, says, it is hope to see whoops, they love you girl. Look right by the way.

Can't wait to see your child. There are no small parts, there are only small cows. Kyle, you go first. And Kyle's like, uh, well, like, uh, like you've getting today, getting to today is a testament to the leaps and bounds we'll go to for each other. Mike, we literally didn't do anything. So, you know, we well both rely on our parents

Uh until the end of our lives and so most romantic shit Hold on let me get my phone out so I can get this down I think I was a filter from from a snapchat. It's really funny. I have like big glasses on you guys will see it You'll see it on Instagram Hi, oh, I didn't believe in love at first sight, but I did believe in guacamole, and then I saw your photo on Instagram, and I was like, whoa, he has muscles, and he's blonde.

Wow, I promise to love you in sickness and in health, in good and in bad and in worse and an even worse and the worst should ever as documented the past five seasons. Those are the easiest promises I've ever made Kyle. I promised to empty the dishwasher and wear mascara more often. And he's like, I'm a big mascara guy, everybody. Oh, pretty funny. Hubsidie, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh How are you gonna rewrite this for vows? So she's like, you're my embarrassing had me a hello gather Okay, and Carl's like okay, I'll put the ring on and let the service reminder of the promises

We just may have Amanda repeat after me Oh, you're voice is really annoying. You're married. You just kiss now. You're married Well, I hold our guys one second before we make this official, I just need to know, would you guys like to go in on an order from Chipotle right now? I've got Postmates on, sort of my thing. So let's say, welcome to the new married couple, Carmando, which is not as great as Websy Lito, but that's next season. So enjoy it kids, enjoy it. And then we get, we go to commercial and then we get this like tiny little clip of coming soon

on Winterhouse and it's, we see Craig frallicking in the snow and then we see someone, might be Tom Sandevol, it looked a lot like Tom Sandivall sort of like like, and then page goes running through the snow to like, there's a table of beer. It looks like they're playing some game and she trips and she just hits her head right on the table. And then it then it's over. I mean, I'm sold. Yeah, but show like I gave me high. Okay, that preview came on. I was like, please don't make me, like I can't take it.

I can't take it. Another season of Austin so soon. I don't know if I can do it. But then all hope was gained when Brittany showed up and a neutral system commercial. She's like, I do neutral your system now. You're cool. I do miss looking in the mirror saying you're cool, got Brittany. You're cool, got your new transistor.

I totally missed that. Thank God. Thank God I missed that. That would have ruined like that. That would I could not have dealt with that at that moment. It was it was a commercial break full of disaster. But then the real housewives of Dubai commercial came on and I love that for that show. All they're going to show is them walking through sand. That's why you know what they show us. It's very sandy. Because like Caroline, Caroline's Danbury just staring at the camera being like, stop staring at me. I stare at you. You don't stare at me. Mmmmm.

So, okay, so then we come back and then Trey wants to get married. Okay, so this is weird. So Lindsay is talking to Austin. She's trying to. Austin's completely ignoring her, won't look at her at all, and keeps like looking around the party. So she's like, oh my god, Austin, I know what a sweet wedding. That was so cute, did you love it?

I love it, I mean, I love that, I thought it was cute What about you? Okay, well, you know, I did What was so sweet? And he's just looking around and then Andrea he's staring into the camera like seriously get Away from me. So then Andrea comes up and then I'm just like I want to get the married now And he goes yeah, I just said the same thing to Lindsay. I'm like you might even talking to Lindsay And then he like turns his back to Lindsay. So Lindsay's out of the conversation. And she's just behind them with her, John the floor smiling, like she's talking to them both. It's so weird, a saddest little intercut scene.

Yeah, I mean, it also, I feel like Andrea, I guess there's something I don't fully trust about Andrea. You know, like when he he does he has his very showy proclamations of wanting to get married and oh pining for Lexi and I feel like it's totally too compensate for what I just have to imagine is just massive fuckboy behavior like that's to me all my fuckboy radars like flat red flags are just like going off like crazy when

he says stuff like that. Yes, because of course now he's sobbed and he got all this stuff during the season But now at the end of the season he's ready to bone again, you know for the next season So then um Craig and Paige are you know kissing and stuff and she's like oh my god like this was crazy Like I felt like I was at the Christmas concert, concert looking for my parents. Like it was like so sweet. It was like cute. What did you think?

It was cute. Yeah. It was like totally cute. It was totally cute. Yeah, it was cute. I mean it was crazy because I watched the whole wedding via Zoom while I was in Afghanistan. Oh my God, you were in Afghanistan?

No, I'm just kidding. Oh my God, I totally believe you. Totally believed you. Wow, you got me again. So then Andrea walks up to Sierra and he's like, I cried, I'm not in this animal, I want to get mad, he's so bad, yeah. And then Lindsay goes up to Car,

I was like, hey, you did so good. He's, y'all, I was nervous, I was sweating. Do you notice that? Because you didn't notice it. I did say it on stage there, but just a Well, I was nervous. I was sweating. Do you notice that? Because you didn't notice it. I did say it on stage there, but just a reminder, I was sweating. It was a lot. Yeah. And then, Lindsay has like hearts in her eyes.

And then awesome just comes lumbering over. He's like, good job, man. That was insane. How could you have fished in? It was insane right now. And he's like, yeah, you had a comic relief relief final. And Lindsay's like, get out of here. Okay, I'm talking to God. It's like Austin just ignores her the whole time.

And then he has no one to talk to you. So then he comes up and pretends her a cop. It's like the fuck out of here, Austin. So good for her for telling me to go away. I like that. I like that she just like kicked him out of the conversation. She's like, I'm a romantic cliffinger. Please. Right. And he sees it. She's like, oh, I'm trying to have a romantic cliff. I'm, please. Right.

And he sees it. You know, it's like Austin's such a fuck up. So Lindsay's, like Carl, you know, Austin is like very much like a short term, have fun with Kyle, but like after a prom something switched for me. I'm like, I am, I am, I am like, I'm sonar with right now. I would rather look at the bigger picture locker-term situation. Yeah, like, Karla, I've been spending a lot of time together and I'm trying to really figure out what this all means

and this is like real-life shit because especially because like, he's like my best friend. So like, um, Karla on Lito, I'm kind of like developing feelings that are like stronger than friendship, sort of like, honey, I guess you could say, and I don't know if I'm a London this but like what's going on? And he's like oh listen we have Incredible friendship and like I create cuz like the past couple of weeks like look at you differently, you know like possibly like dating like dating a scary, you know like I'm not really hit the year mark till January

So I've got like a couple, couple months, a few days, six hours, three minutes to go. So, yeah, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm taking it slow right now, but it's because someone else is going to take it slow. It's a little different than my usual taking it slow. Kind of crazy, huh? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I know people are shipping these to you. I'm not against it. I like them both, but I don't feel any energy coming off the screen. Like, I feel men. I don't care what anybody says. I can't feel it because you're telling me to. Okay. I'm just not feeling it. And to me, it sounds like Lindsay's just being desperate for whoever's showing her attention. Who is Carl. And Carl is still saying, oh, we gotta take a slow, I don't wanna commit to anything. It's still the same thing, it's like both of their patterns still in full effect. And they do, by the way, they wind up becoming a couple,

like not very long after that. You know what it is though, you know, like last night for dinner, I was like, I didn't wanna order out, I've ordered out too much and I didn't really have a lot of food and I was like, let me't want to order out. I've ordered out too much and I didn't really have a lot of food and I was like, let me just try to pull something together. So I found some pasta, I found some anchovies and I was like, let me make a fun little pasta and I was like, oh, I don't even have any interesting meats.

It's like, there's some turkey bacon. So I chopped up the turkey bacon and I made a good pasta out of it and it's like, you know what, S-Rin Point, you're just left with what you got and you can make something good out of it. That's it. I think it of it. And it's like, you know what, Esmeralign Point, you're just left with what you got, and you can make something good out of it. That's it. I think it's that relationship where it's like

a gay guy and his best friend, or like, oh my God, if we don't have somebody at the time where it's like 40, then we'll marry each other. But they are actually doing it. Yeah. At some point, you realize one of you is an Ancho, if you and one of you is Turkey Bacon,

and you're just gonna come together to make an unexpected, but actually pretty good dish. Yeah, wow, the romance and that. So jumping off the screen. So then as the after part of the reception or whatever and Kyle's giving his speech and basically they just say thanks and he's like this was wedding impossible so thanks to Frank and Donna and Donna's like this was wedding impossible. So thanks to Frank Adana. And Donna's like this is wedding amazing

Oh, Gain Donna is this party. You know, like she's just worked six months of her life to make this happen, you know She has just walked up to the leader of the wedding band and asked for the fifth time Can you play a lot of shack again? I just it's so good. I guess the people dance them Could you play Amanda's vows again? Don't don't don't Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don and she's like, well, you think one Kyle is trying to say oh my god You guys are so glad you're here for a wedding and you don't have to go home

But you can't stay here my wedding wishes that I can kick you got all out of the space all together That should have been that should have been her wedding vows. You can't, you know, I'm doing a home of you, casting here, Kyle. That was it. That was it. Now we have the previews for the reunion, where those page and Lindsay are definitely not happy anymore because at one point,

and he's like, uh, page, you realize you haven't looked into your grandma's eyes this entire reunion. Yes, I'm aware Andy. I have a hard time looking at Glycoma. Sorry Andy. Yeah, Paige comes in just acting like a total jackass. Lindsay never did anything to you, maybe nothing. All the, all that's happened here is you doing shit to Lindsay over and over and over and treating her like shit over and over and Page is sitting in first seat like she's got first seat at that reunion So I'm hoping page comes out of this looking like the jackass that she is well I know what listen

I I will say Lindsay is good for some post-season antics. Let's not forget the time she cropped Amanda out of every single group photo that they had. Okay, so that's not like, like Lindsay's gonna be a super innocent. I am, listen, the, I, innocent till proven guilty. I'm waiting to see what is going to happen. It should be interesting, but also props to Alex

for getting a zinger in about Austin. Very proud of him for having a moment on the reunion trailer. Well, we'll see where it's gonna go, coming up next week. In the meantime, thanks so much for being with us everybody. We will be back tomorrow with something fun. Who knows what's gonna be, but we'll be here.

Okay, he's real happy with you. He's real happy with you. We'll be here with Jersey on some some time at some point. Oh, yeah, tomorrow. It is tomorrow. You know what? Our schedule switched up a little bit and I'm not used to it being because below Dexaling Yard is not on this week. So we're changing things around. So we're figuring it out on the fly.

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