Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Summer Lovin' Happened So Fast

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

Summer House (S7E1) is back, babe! Are you watching, babe? Because, babe, Carl and Lindsay are offish a couple, and, like, babe, there's already friction in the house, babe.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, I've been such one, Welcome to Watch Our Crapins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today. Fresh from his commute to the Hamptons. It's Mr. Ronnie Kerram. Hi Ronnie, how are you?

Oh, hey Ben. Hey Ben. Hey Ben. Hey Ben. Hey. Hey. Totally different to season because I hear my baby. So.

Wait, let's do it together. We finished my sentence. We are in love. Yeah. It's summer house. Summer house is back. Everyone, we are so excited. You know what? Congratulations to Summer House. But more importantly, congratulations to us. We have recapped every episode of fucking Summer House, but more importantly, congratulations to us. We have recapped every episode of fucking Summer House. I mean, you know, what kind of, I want to set it my funeral.

I've not, you know, we don't like, when seasons end and begin, you know, we age and we get older will not make because I'm getting Botox now, but, you know what I mean? You look back upon your life and how many people can say, wow, seven years, seven years of summer house. Yeah. Well, summer house.

We have been champions of summer house in the very beginning. You know, I feel like summer house is one of our successes because shows come along. We champion them and then famously they go away. You know know gallery girls Game of crowns. I have to just assume real girlfriends in Paris long Island girls long Island princesses Island. Oh my god. What was that? How's why I said long Island? Yeah, my what was that called the one word? You got licensed. Oh, yeah Secrets and wives called the one word you got license. Oh yeah, secrets and lives. Paradise. All these shows were like everyone you got to watch.

And they go away. Yeah. But I feel like summer house, summer house, we stood by, Bravo, actually stood by this one. And now it is like one of their, you know, marquee shows. Yeah. Um, great show. You know, it's a, it's gonna, it's a rough season already for this show because they've got an uphill battle. Everybody's engaged, married, or, you know, about to be. And it's, it's off. Like it is, there is definitely something off, but man they can still they still mine gold I have to give it to them and this is the first season of new cast were I felt the cast was Immediately on solid ground the new cast. Oh, yeah love very good. Love Gabby the new the new girl The new guys seem to find love that you know

I was very happy, oh, an all-star girl, Sam, oh my God, I feel like we're gonna have so much fun with Sam. But I think it's interesting because it's definitely fallen into the season seven trap, which I'm now calling the season seven trap. I don't know if it's a thing, but Vanderbron brules in it's seven season,

everyone decided to adult. This season we now have Carl and Lindsay starting to adult and Kyle making hints at adulting but we also see Kyle grasping on to youth which is we didn't quite see that in the same way on Vanderpump rules. We saw people who still were grasping on to youth but we're also pretending like they were adulting at the same time and I think that Kyle is actually genuinely like still trying to keep it going. Well, Kyle's that kind of Kyle's personality is like grasping onto youth, you know,

and trying too hard and being drunker than everybody else. And it's like super awkward because he's also the oldest. Right now it's getting a little more awkward because he's got the mullet that he's committed to. And I think that to him that's youthful, but to the rest of us it's like committed to and I think they to him that's youthful, but to the rest of us, it's like your dad's friend in the 70s who would like Mothalon and really short shorts, you know, and it's like the mustache far behind, you know, it's a little white vanish. I feel like his mullet for years, you know, he has a stupid mullet wig thing. And for years, he thought about growing the mullet. And then finally this year, he got the balls to grow his own mullet.

And he did it on the season where everyone's adulting and doesn't care about his mullet anymore on his cast. You know, he like missed the window. Like no one's even commented, no one has been like, oh my god, your mullet's coming out well. I mean, there was a moment with a, where it would, you know, Amanda sort of,

flat ironed it a little bit, you know, but, uh, yeah, the mallet's sad. But I'll tell you what, isn't sad. Before we get into the recap, next week, Golden Crapies, it's also our Phoenix show, and we're gonna be doing some of the categories in Phoenix slash Scottsdale. That's gonna be on the 23rd.

Golden Crapies are on the 24th. NLA, our biggest show we've ever had in our biggest theater. We've ton of guests. It's going to be on Moment House. You can go to momenthouse.co slash wc and you can get a ticket to watch along virtually. But if you're in this region, I highly recommend coming to the crappies. There's so much fun. Also, you can vote. The categories are open. You can vote for your favorites. We are going, some of the categories,

we are going to winnow down to a top four. And then we're also going to introduce some Instagram voting later on this week. So that's gonna be really fun as well. We just want everyone to have their say. But also, another thing is, you know, I'm here in LA. You used to be here, Ronnie in LA. And whenever it's a ward season, honestly, even when it's not a ward season, it's just sort of weird. They're all these

for your consideration billboards that up everywhere, everywhere you go. It's like, please consider top chef, you know, everywhere. And I'm like, you know what, the crappies, the crappies are part of LA's award season. We're coming right in the middle of award season. And we need to be part of the award season traditions. So I am going to make an appeal to the listeners of Watch Your Crappens to provide some for your consideration materials.

And what I would love is if you have a nominee that you're passionate about in the crappies, make a story on Instagram and tag us. And in the story, tell us why you think everyone should be voting for this nominee in that category. And we will re-gram it. And we might even actually include it

in the crappies ceremony. So our Instagram is at watch what happens. So go do that. I think that'll be really fun. And be as creative as you want. You know, you could just give a speech, stumping for this person, you could be this person, costumes are allowed, whatever you want, settings, editing, music, do whatever you'd like. okay? Just give us a video stumping for who should win and why because the crappies, you know, sometimes it feels like it's just us until we actually get to the actual show because that's it is. It really is you guys. It's an audience-based show, you know, most of the nominees come

from you guys. Obviously the winners come from you guys. So we want you involved too. So throw your videos in the ring, people. And especially because you may assume that one, like there's a category that you think your favorite is a shoe in and they may not actually be. It's always sort of surprising to see how the votes go. So, or if you just think that there's like an under, you know, underrepresented or like

overlooked gem, you know, I say, I say, I say do it, go for it. So yeah, at what, watch what happens and just tag us and we'll regram you on our, on our Instagram and, you know, yes. He a champion. To it guys, to be a champion. So today, we're here with. Oh, no, that's a Fender Pomp Rules. two of you guys uh... today we're here with and uh... that's uh...

fanned up from rules that way yeah uh... which is also uh... and from sunset to sunrise and to sunrise. Oh, I got to sing it over another place and we'll show you the way. For those who don't know, for those who are late adopters to Summer House, there actually is a theme song to this show.

They just haven't put it on in like three years. But there is a theme song. It's the same. It's the same of you who don't know that Kyle's wig was a mean before Kyle's actual mollent Yeah, exactly so You know and and if you don't know about the the theme song era of summer house You definitely need to go back and catch up because those were some epic seasons

Yes, okay, let's get into it here. We are so much Yes, okay, let's get into it. Here we are, so much one, T-22. The green screen is up and we see everybody sitting down to get their interviews done and we see the clock. And a producer asked Danielle if she could describe this summer in one word and she says, what did Lindsay say? Whatever Lindsay said.

Yeah, and they're by the way, they're playing, I think it's the Volody. Yes. I could be wrong. They're playing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, when K. Blanchett goes on those sort of movies, it's like notes on a scandal. Oh, yeah, it's just like Kate talking very deeply about conducting music and her ego, how her ego's so intertwined with her character. And it's really just, I mean, it's like watching Fraser, but not as is it called. It's like that same kind of mentality, you know. So I'm loving it.

But yeah, to hear this music being like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do in which case if it is, well done producers, what a clever piece of classical music to play for your summer house intro. No, you never know. So then we see clips of the season, you know, lots of crying, Lindsay going, why do I need your blessing? And Paige going, mayhem, I don't know mayhem. And then Amanda sobbing in bed.

I was like, Jesus, ishem, I don't know mayhem. And then Amanda sobbing in bed. I was like, Jesus, is this Amanda's greatest hits? Because this is every season is Amanda sobbing wide mouthed in bed. Yeah. But the real preview for the season happens after that because once it's sort of like fades out, then we're in, we're in, we hear, babe, babe, car, babe. And like that is the preview of the season because that's all we're gonna be getting for the next two months. And you see, you see just shots from their lives together,

Lintine Carl's lives together as they call each other babe throughout the apartment. Yeah. And it's like a shot of Dezibra that they used to try and make a thing. You know that they bought it at that roadside stand. And then a shot of another part of the room, which is just a giant cardboard cut out of Lindsay's smiling.

Like fire bed. Is it like on her nightstand or something? Who wants to wake up to Lindsay smiling like a fucking jackal? Okay, not me. I do not want that. I know, but Carl does because, yeah, they have this sort of like Marco Polo moment where she's like, babe Carl. Bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, bim, Someone go 911 is as awful We need not only break hearts, but we men And then she pushes him on the bed and jumps on top of him and he's like

She goes you can call me nurse hard palpitations Guys if you're already having to do this and you just started dating, it's not looking good for you, okay? This is like five years into your relationship and you have to start playing nurse and jumping out of the closet. Well, also though, couldn't she have come up

with a better nurse pun than nurse hard palpitations? No, it's Lindsay, okay? Because I understand she made a pun on hard palpitations. No, it's Lindsay, okay? Because I understand she made a pun on heart palpitations, but that is nurse hard palpitations, I don't know, it's not landing for me. Maybe if she did a nurse smacky or nurse, I don't know, I can't, I'm trying to even ratchet. I really can only think of two famous nurses,

but like, I just feel like she could do better. You've got some quatt, swinging to relieve some pressure or something. I mean, I don't know. I don't believe that Carl's getting boners. It's my point. I think that Carl is having boner trouble because Lindsay is having, Lindsay doesn't

understand why Carl's not getting boners, but there's like a giant cardboard Lindsay staring at Carl every time he tries to get a boner. So I don't know, I feel like the answer is in the room. But I don't know, that's just me looking at his. Yeah, that's me just guessing, you know, I don't know. Well, yeah, she goes, Oh, Connor, just like, moved in together, like literally two weeks ago, and he's like, this is so hot. You look amazing.

He look amazing about the way. Oh, look great, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, what is this for real? I just like fell in love with my best friend. I am like, living that rom-gop movie, yeah. Like in real life. Yeah, like that Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher one where it just looks like bad community theater acting

and ain't nobody buying. Is anybody buying this? I'm not buying this at all, this lunty and Carl thing. I don't buy it. It's definitely, it's definitely given me like, not hallmark, but like great American country or CMT vibes. I feel like it's that kind of rom-com.

Like it would never was released in theaters. It just was. Yeah, I could believe it. I could believe that they would be together. It's always seemed believable to me until I actually saw it in action on Winterhouse. That's when I was suspicious, but now with the cardboard cut out

and the nurse scene and the Carl just following her around going, I don't know that this, I believe that they're together, I don't believe that they're happy like this. Yeah, I just can't tell, I can't tell. In some ways they look really happy, but in some ways it looks like they're doing They are doing like weird cosplay of those movies where they people fall in love at a pumpkin patch drinking at the side Or you know, and so she's like me. I'm not wearing any underwear. And she's like, oh you're all bib. Oh my god Wow, wow, wow, yeah, I look stuff her skirt and Lex. She's like, oh, well, babe But we know that this is she just don't believe it because Carl Only has two pairs of pants. He's not gonna want you grinding on under wearless

Want to do laundry, you know what I mean. I'm just not buying it. So then we get a song and it goes looking for the fun Looking for the sign who we rhyme we rhyme yeah running we're running because we're looking was it looking for the fine I thought was like that makes more sense because it rhymes with sign I thought looking for the fun looking for the fun fun fun but pronounced like fine because I wrote down fire because that was the closest word I could make sense of Oh, I'm looking for the fun, but looking for the fun But setting away that it kind of bends towards sign got it. Oh, can I rhyme the run?

A little though, so Carl has a different car every time we see him, you know Yeah, I was just one of those people. He's just one of those dudes like every year. He's got a new car I want to be one of those people. He's just one of those dudes. Like every year he's got a new car. I wanna be one of those dudes. I love that. I never was one of those, I am not. I drive my cars until they die for like 11 years, but anyone who listened to the bonus episode last week on Patreon knows that I somehow got Kia Fever,

which is a weird fever to get, but I got it, and I, I won't go into it, but I've had an emotional roller coaster this weekend involving kids. I'll just say that. You have been on a, and you know what? I've been on a, on a key journey with you. I've been looking at the kids. Yeah, and I'm looking at them, and I'm looking at all the different, you know, qualities

of a keyah. We've learned a lot about Kia's. I mean, listeners told us a lot about them. Like, you know, they were easy to break into for a long time. So like that made insurance expensive. There's a lot that goes into this. I just have to say, the car shortage is real and I didn't really respect that

because I decided on Friday to take myself to a Kia dealership, and I test drove the exact kind of Kia that I wanted. And I decided, you know what, I'm just gonna, I wanna think about this, this feels rash because I normally spend 11 years before it by a car. And the guy's like, well, this is a really rare one and it might sell later today.

And I was like, okay, spare me the bullshit. So then I went to Ikea and I was very proud of, spare me the bullshit. So then I went to Ikea, and I was very proud of myself from doing the Kia to Ikea back-to-back thing, just basically. Yeah. And then, and I sort of dilly-dallyed in there, and then I went back to Ikea, I went back to Ikea, and they're like, oh, you better hurry,

someone's about to buy it, and I was like, oh, god, enough with this. So, but I was like, you know what, though, I do want to buy it, I was doing the paperwork, and while I was doing the paperwork The car sold out from under me, which is what it's not really it from under me because I was gonna spy on someone else apparently But either way was sold they rang a bell and everything this lovely couple like was they were cheering this lovely couple I was giving them like eat like I was like fuck they ring a bell at the Kia They rang a bell like it was like the selling sunset. I was like where's

Kraschelle? Kia has a bell. They have a bell. Everyone made noise. It was a whole thing and I was like okay fine. I'll just get like don't worry we have another one and they're like oh actually we don't have one but this one's coming in in a week and then they call it and they said oh we called the manufacturer they're not making them anymore it might not be available for at least three months and I was like and this is my heart this is this is where I'm at right now. That's why I'm like, Tia triggered at the moment. Well, hey, maybe you can go get a beamer because I think that's what Kyle's driving now.

It's nice. It's like a big one. I'll spend like what? $30,000 more dollars. Like 70 probably. Oh, just. Mystic. So Tia,000 more dollars. Like 70 probably. Oh, jeez. Mystic with a key in lifestyle. Yeah, that's what I want to see from Kyle.

That's what I'll know that Kyle is serious about being married and having a family. When Kyle drops the fucking for a, not for a rise, but he's driven some nice cars on here. I mean, every year it's a new, really expensive, gorgeous car. If when he shuts up in a Kia, I'll be like, okay, a mullet and a Kia, you're ready. Go have your babies now. You have my blessing. Oh my goodness. Every time I see, I just saw a Kia earlier today and I was like, Kia, now I have like weird Kia, like any Kia now, not even the Kia that I wanted, I'm now like obsessed with Kia's and I hate that I'm obsessed with Kia's because it's such a weird thing to be obsessed with. I don't like it. I feel like

I've had some spell put on me because of one Uber driver in Dallas. Yeah, all it takes is wind, Ben. You know how you can see your laugh before you know it. You're like, babe, every time you see a kill. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares of our freshly-honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that

will have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app

So um cows in his new car and he's like oh knock it away. I'm more of a sedan guy But I just don't know how we do our life and just a sedan hence the big SUV and the man is like oh my god Kyle That guy just literally can you off Kyle? My god Kyle, that guy just literally can you off Kyle? Wayne Kyle, don't write this ass Kyle! Yeah well I spent too much time in italia and she's like Atalia, like every time you do an accent it comes off as offensive Kyle. Yeah cuz he's like hey you fucka you! If I drive through that's his accent. She like, maybe you should just not do access, Kyle. He's like, three years people have been telling me

I'm in immature, but this summer I finally grow up. I'm married, I'm turning 40, I wanna have a massive summer. Don't, just don't say those words I finally grow up. It's just, those are just concepts that do not work on Bravo, okay? So now, meanwhile Paige is driving and or she's more like in the middle of the road parked. And so someone's talking at her and she's like,

oh my god, shut up. Shoma, oh my god, I'm going, I'm going, oh my god. It's like, it's like I walked into JZ Penny or something disgusting, you. My god, so she ends up on the wrong side of the street to pick up Gabby, fashion editor, who's needed the cast. And she's like, oh, good thing I wore my driving shoes.

Gabby's like, getting down here is a nightmare. Our people are so aggressive, Don Hale. Yeah, yeah, I guess, and they say it's because of all the people working in finance were stressed out. So, what's on the stress of our... Don't stress about mudah. Don't stress about mudah. So, Paige's like, on the stress track? That's not a monah. That's a little stressed about monah. So, uh, Paige is like, yeah, I met Gabby at a dinner and like, we got drunk and she told

me about my horoscope and I think that's how Gabby meets all her friends. And she's like, yeah, I'm a tourist son. I'm a Libra rising and a Scorpio moon and a general mess on a good day. So, plenty early, that's just how I came out. And they just totally write with her read because people like Gabby are like that at all times, you know. Yeah. Um, Big Mac. I would love a Big Mac meal, but unfortunately my moans are not quarreys. To the high. It's like, oh, shut up. You know, So Carl and Lindsay are both in blue and they're laughing way too hard at each other Carl's like She goes what if we match all summer it would really miss people Really miss people out. AHHHHH! Matchy matchy.

Matchy matchy. It's like, aHHHHH! She's, I just want to point, because she goes, I like match with you, like, whether it's an accident or not. And she's wearing like a, she's wearing like a navy blazer with yellow accents. Yeah, like you said, like Nate, let's blues with some yellows.

And what I love the most is that while she's talking about how she matches Carl, out her window is a penske moving truck that's literally the same colors. I was like, you also matched the truck on the highway. I was like, this is the metaphor. These are the metaphors I love on this show. The cardboard cut out of Lindsay in the back seat is dressed exactly the same way. I'm not a level one dresser, say me. I felt yeah. So then Carl's like we are a match made No, no, no, no, this is when they do their alternating thing which gives matchmate in and

So they can't get on the same page with their sentence. Oh this couple wait from the top. We are a match made in Manhattan Van New Tons what Lindsay From the top. Do you have any syllables Lindsay that adds to this cover? Is that good?

Like, they play even all on the cardboard, Lindsay. Like, idiots. Oh, all right. We'll get, by the time we get the hands, we'll get our little back and forth. I'll go. I love that they think they can finish each other's sentences, but they can't. It's like, so cute. So then, Gabby and Paige's car, Gabby's like,

so is everyone much shopped? Now, wow. And Paige is like, not everyone. Well, Kyle and Amanda, who are married and have been the most stable couple forever, they're there. And it just cuts to Amanda, yawning really big. She's like,

Yeah. And then Carl and Lindsay have just started to date last summer so we all hate them for that and then we have Maya and she's a Quiddell Hout dating this guy named Oliver so if you watched last season as you were supposed to you would have seen him there. It was boring and then she's like by the way let me just say Lindsay again just so where I can say this part Lindsay and and Carl, I guess her in love. And then it cuts to Lindsey eating Carl's fingers going, I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. Babe, you're too little so sharp. Yeah, because I tried to bite the pins, can you truck by accident? Cause I thought it was you. We're all matching.

Uh, so, hey, just like here's the thing, if I have a boyfriend, but he's not in the state, do I have a boyfriend? Just kidding, I'd love to crack dearly. And Gabby's like, what's his sign? Well, it's not great for us. I'm a Scorpio and he's in Aquarius. And Gabby's like, oh, yeah, but the sex is great. It's like the bath I've ever had, so I know I'm not going anywhere.

So same house. Oh, so they're back to the same house. So Amanda's like, I guess I'll bring the grocery bags in. Okay, I love how they start every season with Amanda. Yeah, and there's a Tetris puzzle of Leverboy boxes on the front stoop as usual, and there's a new sofa that they're excited about. And we see that Luke's old room is a gym now, and Kyle tells us he says, the Hamptons known for old money, but also old laws, and our house just so happens to be

zoned for five bedrooms, not nine. And I got a call yesterday that four of the bedrooms are not usable. So welcome to camp. So basically, they all have to base live on top of each other, which is great, because they'll be even more irritated by the end of the summer. It's great for us. Like it's terrible for them. But yeah, really good for us. They found a way to kind of up the ante the season, which I really like. So Amanda's like, this isn't for us unless we want to share with Carl

and Lindsey Kyle, because the primary bedroom now has two king beds inside of it that face each other. All the beds have multiple pants, up pants, multiple beds and stuff. Except for one. So they get the one room that has one bed in it to share. Yeah. And so now a mini van shows up and this new guy, Chris arrives. And I don't remember how Chris is even attached. Anyone did they even say, how anyone knew Chris?

I don't think they're trying this year. This year they're just like, we cast it. Yeah, I think it's just like a blatant, like, here's a guy. There's a guy named Chris. It's just some absolute fucking G's ball named Chris. You know, with hair doesn't quite move, but he's like, that was a lot.

Let's see what he works. And he likes to do like that little bop when music comes on where he's like not fully dancing, but he's like alluding to the fact that he enjoys dancing, but won't actually dance. Yeah. Yeah. Um, he does do that. So, Kyle and Chris are talking and Kyle's like, well, we're gonna be on number, but that's

good for you, right? Oh, chicks, right bro, right bro. And Chris is like, I was raised in Naples, which is a retirement town, it's dead, it's dead. So I've just been hustling mode, you know, been out there like hustling and stuff. But then I realized, got a hustling lot. I need to enjoy myself.

Kids aren't gonna sell themselves, but at the same time, nobody wants to stress that key a deal, right? So, never done a Hampton's house share before that audition on Craig's list. You know, included a little on-camera masturbation. But don't worry, it was only FaceTime cameras. So here I am, I won't make it. Yeah, never done a Hampton's house share before or a house share or I'll say I've never been in a house. I grew up on an open stretch of field. Anyway, great to be here.

So then, Paige and Gabby arrive and Paige is like, well, you have a really nice Italian man who would carry your bags and always give you compliments got the job done. So they hug Amanda, they meet Chris, and Paige's like, nice to meet you. You smell so nice, Chris. Oh my God, is that your head? It's very hard. So I'll take that as a compliment.

Thank you. Carl's like, literally 24 hours ago, the homeowner is like working with varemarsal guys, but sorry, you can't have more bedrooms than your zone for. So no, no, no, pages goes, no, no. No. And then the man is like, there are only five bedrooms guys and guys like, oh my god, wait, how that's a lot of hot. Was this law created while mercury was in retrograde like what the hell? Yeah, disgusting so they got to the primary and page is like okay, this is easy. Maya Gabby me is here Honestly, I like the idea of four girls and Amanda's like can I just be one of the girls

And then page is like oh, oh, but I don't want your friend Sam Paige is like, oh, oh, but I don't want your friend Sam to think we just left her out in the cold just kidding. I totally wanted to feel that way. She's out. Bye. Ha ha ha. So Maya arrives and she's like, hey Uber driver,

do you mind waiting for me to get help with my bags? I was like, your Uber driver just drove three hours. Yeah. Um, so then, um, Amanda asks her, is that a bottle of vinegar? And she's like, take care of, uh, I'm fun Maya this time. Imagine if it really were vinegar though. Oh shoot. No, sorry guys, this is balsamic.

It would make more sense with my as personality, you know? Because my is usually like a little low energy. Like, I'm not really sure how I feel, yeah guys. But now she's like, I'm party, Maya now. I'm kind of blonde now. Yes, I brought vingers slash tequila to the Hamptons. And Kaga's, hey, do you have a cookie for me? She says, no, but you can get my bags.

He's like, okay, I can do that. 40 Nams. I'm surprised you haven't been commissioned to get her bags also at this point. Because I know she doesn't have cookies for you. So it's fine, it's over the year. Oh my God, let's stop torturing for my, uh. She changed her whole business thing.

Did she? Oh yeah, like, cause I tried to go on to the need blog or whatever, which whole business thing. Did she? Yeah, like, because I tried to go on to the need blog or whatever, which is her thing. And be like, hey, I still can get things. I don't really care except that I know people are still torturing you online about it. But it was sent back to me. The email was sent back to me.

So I don't even know what they'll do. I hope that the money gone. Where'd it go from it? Well, I think I have been, I don't know. I've got got to check. Imagine if all the time, could you imagine if like the cookies were delivered and they just would just stole them off your suit?

Like on all this time, we're torturing this. Otherwise, very lovely person. No, because I didn't ever got the email that said, there was like an email that said, well, let you know when your cookies are gonna be delivered. I never got that. Trust me girl, I've checked an email that said, well, let you know when your cookies are gonna be delivered, I never got that. Trust me girl, I've checked the email a million times. I think.

Yeah, I have to say, my key emotional roller coaster does not even compare to your Maya emotional roller coaster. Yeah, but people don't torture Maya, she's so nice. And I probably will order them again, because I have heard that her cookies are amazing for multiple people. And also, even though he was fired or let go or not asked back, whatever, Luke are handsome, little devil, Luke, we need to order his maple syrup.

Yeah. Why haven't you sent it to us without us ordering it? Luke, come on, man. Let's be honest. Come on, bro, Luke. But we need to order some maple syrup, bra. I'm a maple syrup head people may not realize this, but I am I live for that maple syrup brush. It's like the queue And if you get a freaky out of this listen if

Yes, you do you say things and you get you get free things. You manifest like that. And if Ben gets a free key and I don't, I'm gonna write and I will talk shit about the key every day. So if someone's gonna be going away, be prepared to give away too. Okay. Okay, it's one thing to get like,

like I got like free pickles once. It's one thing to get free pickles, grillo's pickles, delicious. A key is, you're not gonna get a free key. It's just thing to get free pickles grillo's pickles delicious IKEA is you're not gonna get a freaky. It's just not gonna. That's not a thing that happens. Okay Well, I'll see they're expensive. I mean it's like it's not like they're five dollars, you know, they're like cars Cars they're not cars they're not cars their lifestyles Anyway, sorry for the cough. I've still got COVID Maya is a nominee in the crappies for best entrepreneurial, whatever. So, you know, so we hear, you know. So page is like deciding all the

four girls are gonna stay in this room. Mya arrives, she pour shots for everybody. And then of course page immediately is like has anyone talked to Lindsay and Carl? How are we going to ruin their lives this year? And the man is like, well, they went to lunch and no one's been in contact with them since. Yeah, it was like a really horrible experience of two people who kept kissing and then mugging towards a camera that wasn't there and then mucking towards the camera that wasn't there and then saying up next on the Hallmark channel and we're like, but you guys are not on TV right now, we're on the Hallmark channel. So we stopped seeing them.

Yeah, last we heard they were at lunch and they were offering their waiter a hashtag and return for the bill. So... No, it's heard from them since. And Carl is like, oh yeah, let me tell you the Substory Chris you're new Wow, that hair really is hard all right so you know these two met here and I'd be really excited for them to have another couple but you know in the other on the other hand the last two nights they spent together was with us in Winterhouse and it was the most awkward ever. Yeah, because

All of you started your dirty work about them, you know, and it was Austin It was Austin. Yeah, but it was all of us like oh my god. We need to have somebody to have this talk with Lindsay Somebody sell man People don't watch winterhouse. We should explain what happened. Yeah. Man, no, no, no, no, no. If people don't watch Winterhouse, we should explain what happened. Yeah. So Austin Crowe tried to start something called Dick Touchgate, which never really caught on, except with him.

And he basically was like, Lindsay, on the night of Kyle, Amanda's wedding, she touched my dick. And that was the same night that she said that she and Carl were gonna try to start dating. And so then, which is like a big nothing, it's literally a who cares. And then he went and told everyone, and then everyone was like, well, should we tell Lindsay,

or that she's saying this, we tell Carl, and it became a nothing scandal. And then when they told Lindsay, she basically had no reaction on Carl had they both kind of laughed a lot, would seem to indicate that maybe they already knew about this and were like, not even any like. And it was fishy because they kept changing the date that they were together because everybody was saying, yeah, they decided to get together on Kyle and Amanda's wedding. But then Lindsay was like,

oh my God, a week after on October 5th. Or whatever it was. Yeah, they were like a very specific date. I've heard this, this big detail is about like a pizza delivery or like a McDonald's delivery. That was like, there was like an Uber Eats delivery in the middle of it. And she's like, well yeah, I remember getting like,

big Mac and fries and a nice scene with no ice and then over a little bit of head sex growth for the first time. But, yeah. So basically the whole cast, spearheaded by Austin, tried to come for their relationship in the two days that they were at the Swinter House thing. So they are coming into this season, extremely defensive and rightly so,

because they're starting, they're already starting. You know, you can see them already starting. But I don't want to give them too much credit for being justifiably not out of step with the vibe of the house because they did come into winter house and they were kind of like, oh yeah, we need this room because we're a couple. Like they were definitely, they definitely had that like we're dating now. So that means we're adults now,

and we're gonna do adult things. And like they're vibe definitely shifted to bachelor in paradise or something like that. So, right then. That's how they're entering this year as well. And I agree with that, but that's how Kyle and Amanda have entered every year. And everyone's fine with that. So right then that's how they're entering this year as well. And I agree with that, but that's how carol and amanta have entered every year and everyone's fine with that. You know, yeah, but I guess they, uh, well, I feel like condom and have entered as a couple,

but they're like a disaster couple and there's just like no denying it. Whereas Carl and Lindsay are just, you know, Carl and Lindsay are matching. A room when they're there for two days and demanding people move rooms. I mean, they are ridiculous. And, you know, I think I was team Lindsay the whole time because I just felt everyone was ganging up on them for no reason, but I already feel it turning this season because I'm already annoyed with the babe, babe, babe.

Um, but we'll see. Yeah, we'll talk. Yeah, we'll, yeah, exactly. So Kyle's basically like, he takes, he says he takes the vibe of the house very seriously and he just wants them to fit in and he just doesn't know what, what to expect with him. And, um, uh, and then also, then we get this weird, really weird crinkle I was not expecting whatsoever between Lindsay, it involves Lindsay, Maya, and

family feud. So the cast went on and said, okay, so we haven't spoken since family feud, but Lindsay's mad at me and she doesn't want me having a relationship with Carl. And Gabby goes, well, she said that for a bit. And she goes, yeah, she said I want to Carl like a sexual way or something. And then they all try not to die laughing, you know, so my, my tells us the story. They were in LA doing family feud and they lost, which really upset her.

And then we see a clip of Maya being like, we lost. The question was name something that you absolutely love to drink in a bar. We lost him. Oh, we lost him. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Uh, uh, the average time an American cookie order takes to ship. Oh, souvenirs. Damn it. So, um, they lose. So then, um, she's like, yeah, and so I was upset that we lost. And then I was in a car with Lindsay on the way back to the hotel. And I told her, I just texted Carl and I was like,

maybe like, I said, hey Carl, maybe we can like smoke a jay when we get back to the hotel. And I guess that Lindsay didn't know that I smoked with Carl before, like a lot in the house. And so that's when she told me that I was like disrespectful of their relationship. And then she also told me I want Carl in a romantic way, and I'm not that girl.

And like, I have a friendship with Carl too. Like, what the hell was this? Lindsay. That's great. And then they also, by the way, they show Carl on the set of Family Feud and they put a Family Feud X over him like, eh. So then, um, yeah, Miles, like, she's like, I don't think I should be penalized for

texting a friend. And I agree. I think this is so wild. And if Lindsay's whole thing is like, it's inappropriate, like that he's friends with you. I'm like, isn't Lindsay's whole thing that she's like friends with the guys? Isn't she like, she's like, well, you know, I'm probably gonna be kissing Austin for the rest of my life. That's just like, what a relationship is?

You know, like the same person saying that is now afraid of Maya trying to have a sexual relationship with Carl. I just feel like that's so hypocritical. Right, and she, we hear Lindsay's side later, but I'll leave it for later. So, but right now it's like, when Lindsay, what the fuck, you know? And so Gabby's like, oh my God, like all of you third me into this false sense of security because like I just talked to all of you and you were like, everything's fine.

And now you're like making them sound like murderers. It's like you told me this house was a Leo, but it's actually a Taurus. This house is like Mercury rising re-rising, Puchas, okay. And then Maya, I'm just pointing this out because it becomes a point of contention later in the season. Maya goes, you didn't hear that from me, bitch, because later in the season, Lindsay's like, did you just call me a bitch?

So I'm just putting it into evidence that Maya just casually says that, okay, it's calm down already, Lindsay. So then Maya's like, um, to be fair, after she came for me, she texted me like, hey babe, are we good? And I'm like, you just came for my entire life, are we good? Like no, we're not good.

Yeah, so I did not see that coming. I did not see, I didn't see Maya really having a feud with anyone because Maya's just like the chill one. But of course it's Lindsay, she can always get into a feud with anyone because Maya is just like the chill one. But of course it's Lindsay, she can always get into a feud with anyone. So now, a new person. Well it's also reality TV and it's season 2 Maya. Yes, so we'll see.

We'll see. See, Maya. Yep. So now we have Sam. The new Sam is a lady. Content creator. Content creator. Content creator.

Oh my god. Sam is such a content creator. I am already obsessed with Sam because I can tell she's totally ridiculous. She's like she, you know, she gets the goop newsletters and she reads them too, right? They don't just, she didn't just sign up and they come and she deletes them immediately. She just sits and reads them. She reads them, but then she also like has like scathing commentary on them, you know You know she does

Skating scathing commentary Oh my god, did you guys read goop and embarrassing like is Gwyneth even trying like was this intern written or what am I right? Like are we having chat GPT or whatever right our newsletters now? I mean come on Gwen come on, Gwen. Come on, Gwen. Chat, goop, PT. Oh, I would love. Oh, I need to sign up for that because I want to have something

described to me in this style of goop. But you know that she also, she sort of like, I feel like she weaves in how on trend she is. Like she would say, she wouldn't say, have you tried hard kombucha? She would say, you know, I used to really love hard kombucha, but it gives me my grand, so I just can't do it anymore.

I'm worried the soft kombucha now. Yeah, soft kombucha. So I love that she comes and says, say I'm content creator and this is so page. She goes, did you knock her just walk in? Yeah. She just walked in. Oh, I just walked in.

Now I don't want to say this show is about white privilege, but there be any more white privilege than this white girl just walking into a house in the Hamptons. Yeah. Oh, no, I'm not kidding. It is her house. She is paying for it. But just page starts with that question.

Did you knock her down? It's the page goes, hell, what are you? She goes, I just turned 25 and page goes, oh, tell me everything about you. And I was like, oh, page hates her. When she keeps her, tell me everything about you. That means pages need to take some notes and decide how to assess what fun that's to put you in and then Just destroy you name Sam goes. Oh grew up in Jersey

I'm obsessed with Cosmo growing up. I was also a dancer. I was like doing ballet here I went to college for journalism. I came to the city all the time So when I was 18 I had a career. I mean it was amazing. I'm like it was a great time I immediately started working at Cosmo. That's right. Barry DeLeed. Okay, I got the job. That was my dream as a dancing child. I would do ballet's dreaming of being in Cosmo. It's not crazy. It's not like you're a mechanic.

I also, that was. I did a garage at A for Helen Gurley Brown. And let me tell you something, immediately signed Cosmo Girl. I'm sorry, I buried the lead there. Also, one in Oscar, crazy, right? I did a short film about short films. It was very meta. They loved it. God, an Oscar crazy. Yeah, I can Sam. And Paige is like, um, I did tell her to tell me everything I didn't mean from conception. But. And a weird way Sam kind of reminded me of Daphne from White Lotus.

Like I just, I just, there was something about the mannerisms, like a more content creatory Daphne. Like I see Sam's path in life as that she wants up as Daphne. I'm just putting that out there. We're going to observe more. But just want to come to know. I'm the New York stereotype. I work hard. I play hard.

I wake up at 7, 10,000 steps in before 10 work for literally 10 hours, go to dinner, go to a club to 3 am and then guess what I do. I start over. Also, I have a raging cocaine addiction because that's the only way I can do all that. Right. Also, I liked when she said, I'm the New York stereotype of work hard play hard. And when she says work hard play hard,

they show a photo, like one from column A, one from column B, but both are just her just like sitting around. You know posing, they're like Instagram poses. When is her in like a really pretty dress sitting in a window and then when is her just standing on a private plane posing? Like I'm on a private plane. I Like a private plane. Like a mother private plane.

I think at the time I was a dancer, dreaming of being Cosmo before I was at Cosmo. It's amazing. Amazing fight. Yeah, I stood on my tip because for a very long time, ballet, you know. So then, oh well, so, oh well, you know, Peter, guess what, Carl what Carl Lindsey drive up in that's in the summer house

Babe, there's a key. Yeah, there's a key. Oh It wasn't the key that I'm obsessed with the sportage, but like it was close I think it's a sportage Sportage I think so did the the people of the dealership call it a sportage? I think it's a keyest portage. I think they've been saying, I think they were saying sportage, but you know, I also was the one who taught them how to use some of the, okay, I, on the test drive, I was like, can you move these icons around on the display and the guy's like, no, no, I don't think so. Let me, let me look. And he's like filling

through the menus. And I'm like, I'm, I did like a page to sort of go, I think you just touch this. And I like rear end the icon. Oh, I learned something new. I was like, yeah, thanks. Thanks. So you don't work on commission or I was like, thanks. Thanks for when I, I also, I want to say this, I texted the guy and before I left IKEA and I said, do you still have any of those KIA, those like sported hybrids left? And he goes, I'll check.

And then I was like, I'm not gonna drive over there if they don't. So I waited there for five minutes. If I had just gone over, if you just texted me back, then I, maybe I would have gotten it. I would have over, if you just texted me back, then I maybe I would have gotten it. I would have gotten it if you just texted me back. But to be fair, when I got to the lot, I saw the guy who I was texting with and he was clearly dealing with a mafia so I was like, okay, I understand why he couldn't really focus on me. He would have

probably been killed. Oh my God. I love that the mafia is like into key and out. It was like shit, you don't see. It was like the Lord jumpsuit. I was in shit, you don't see, come in. It was like full-door jumpsuit. I was in like in Glendale of Lord Drum Suit. You know the situation. Yeah. So I was like, okay, I'll give you a pass on this one

only because your knees slash life may have dependent on it. But I just want you to know, if you texted me five minutes earlier, I could have beaten that couple with a bell ring in my face. Oh, God. So Sam goes outside and she sees Karte, she's getting her stuff and she sees Karla and Lindsay and she goes, oh hi, I'm Sam from Cosmo.

Oh, so I'm gonna hug you. And Karla goes, Carl, pleasure, pleasure. You look great, oh, sorry, I'm not allowed to say who and who doesn't look great anymore, but. I could imagine that an independent person would come in here and say you look great, but I personally have no so an independent person would come in here and say, you look great, but I personally have no opinion

on that Vaxar lens. The Sarlans. Your soul seems kind, by the way. So she's like, yeah, she's like, I'm gonna hug you. And then she goes, oh, love that. So they come in the kitchen and say, hi to everybody. And it's super awkward. And Lindsay's doing that thing where she's talking

way too bad, because no one's really wooing. You know what I mean? So she's talking like she's talking over woos that aren't happening. She's like, it took us only an hour. It's like, what was it on that? She's like, just manifest it. Yes, she's like a match.

I'm like, oh my god, it's Clinton, Carl, wow! And that's not happening, but she's talking over it like it is. It's hot. It's hot. I think everyone just confused why she's wearing a blazer. Well, now that I'm an adult, I wear a blazer to the amdance. So, and she sees Maya.

She's, hi, Maya. Like the blind, is that new? Like for summer, like new for summer? And Paige goes, before we came into the summer I texted Lindsay I do not care about anything we've ever thought about and she said me neither and I'd like to think that that as a Testimate to my own maturity. So I've done my time. I'm done Like right right right. We'll see. I'm setting my 10 minute kitchen timer babe Exactly, and then Carl and Maya hug which which is like, ooh, they're hugging.

And so it's funny when Carl hugs like the girls, because they're so much shorter than he is. He sort of looks like one of those chickens, those chicken things that like dip down to get the water and then they come back up again, and they dip back down again. It's like, oh, I'm coming in for a hug. Oh, I'm like, I drop water in the pulses.

It's actually terrifying. But I could see one for a hug. Oh, I'm like, I dropped one on the process. It's actually terrifying. But I could see one of those things stating a cardboard cutout of Lindsay. So that makes, that is the couple there becully. So, Amanda's like, oh my god, guys, there's only fine dead wheels. And Kyle's like, it's like, summer out 2012. So, Paige, guess, I'm sweating, Amanda goes,

take it off, Paige, you've had a moment, it's over. It's like don't worry, your look has been registered by the cameras, it's gonna be in the show, now you can actually relax. So then outside, Kyle's with Lindsay and Carl outside and Lindsay's like, well, so there's like three dudes and then there's like YouTube and then says YouTube and Creos, right? And Chris, Kyle's like, yeah, Chris is a good guy,

is a good guy, just be careful with your knuckles, if you knock on that hair, it's like kind of bruising a little bit, you're knuckles at us. Yeah, she's like, so 100 girls and three dudes and Carl's like, oh, I want a cool two thing well I mean don't no fence to but like we've had a long ride We've had a long ride right me and Carl like I need other dudes and he tells us that I love Carl But we worked together and to be it's it's rock it out

So I'm figuring out if love of boys like really for me So he was just mixing it up a little bit Yeah, I'm trying to kind of like figure out like is loveable I still for me or don't want to go back to life of being Mostly unemployed then finding a job being unemployed again right after Yeah, it's really hard not to think about the times. I was selling debt to look what men door-to-door Those are those are the days. Those were the days. Yeah, we did it.

It's interesting to see this. Hey, Carl, I'd like to suggest a job, possibly, the Kila Kia Dilership, because I've got a customer over here for you right now. Yeah, so I hear you're interested in a sportage 2023 sportage prestige Billard wants a key at two That is your friend who's out there you don't bark at him

You don't bark at people you like you crazy man, no, you don't need to be growling about it or nothing Okay That's about it. Gullars like, well, that's my friend, but things have been kind of weird the past nine months Well I was hoping for some other friend staying out with no fence bro So cuz like I propose a night-time full party so who's gonna cook? And the guy's like we're guys we'll cook we're dudes. And Gabi goes if you need additorials on the food I can help you out. Yeah so now outside Carl's like we got a new girl and then he's like going to like set it up

and Chris is like whoa whoa don't put your face in there. There you go. So I'm like, oh, I can sort of, I was like, to me that like one moment said everything about Chris to me. I was like, oh, he's the guy who's gonna like man's blame where to put your face in your grill. To be fair, Carl did have a fully like Soviet plath.

Carl does put his face in things, you know? Like the chicken that bends down to get the water, whatever, like you were describing earlier, just like, boom, boom. It's like, I felt like in some ways Chris was both, he's like sort of mansplainy, but at the same time, I also feel like she might be the responsible one of the house. I mean, he was a Marine, we find out.

So, either way, I was like, it was, I felt like I understood something about him in that moment I I just thought straight guy Straight guy straight guy straight guy straight guy because he did that thing all guys do okay first him and Carl Walk over to the grill and then Carl puts his face in because bro Superl don't put your face in and he's like yeah, and then Chris goes so Burgers and Carl goes,

co-babs. And they're like, yeah, they just nodded each other. Like, that's all we need to know about each other, bro. We're in charge. Good dubs, good dubs tonight. And then, oh, we have an announcement. Oh, this is a very important announcement from Amanda. I have an onion.

I'm gonna do chunks of onion. I put girls make kebabs. So they all like light up and Lindsey's like, so what beverage is do we have in general? And Paige says, we have Coca-Cola in San Fgas. Rose and Paige says, well, Lindsay doesn't drink, you know, and Lindsay's like, and yes, I do. I do. I mean, Carla's sober. So I went like sober, but like, that was them, like, this is now and everything's fine. I'm like, okay, let me just tell you, like, I went sober for like five months, but then it was Easter and I was out without Rhonda. And then everyone's like, oh, like even the girls you don't know, just that

word, Ant Rhonda, everybody's like, oh, Ant Rhonda must be a pistol. Yeah, and she goes, and I was like, I really want to have a glass of wine with AR and Sam goes, well, that'll get you. And which is very full of her as a content creator. Maybe she's into like, No Encore, full score. And so Lindsay's like, she's like, well, soon now I drink again, but like I don't black out. Like that's the best way I could say it. I'm like, so you, you drink.

Yeah. She makes it sound like she's just like, just drinking delicately. I'm like, you know, there's like a lot of leeway between having like a sip of wine versus not blacking out. I mean, versus blacking out. Yeah. So sounds like, okay, cool. And Managas, I'm wanting glass. I can pour you one. And she pours her a giant, like a glass

that's biggest her head and hands it over. I was like, oh, here we go. So Kyle sets stuff up outside with the guys. And Chris is like, other guys, so we've already talked about meat. I guess we'll take out the trash and get me to say, I mean, I'll have to do that. And my guess, don't tell him what to do.

Go ahead and take it, Chris. Take it. Why don't you stop somebody from taking out trash? Trash is an ongoing issue in this house. So like if someone volunteers to take it out, just let them do it. Yeah. So then they're talking about the room situation

and Paige is saying like maybe this summer no one has like a designated room. Everyone just sort of floats around, you know, from week to week. And it caused like, yeah, maybe it's a swing around. And then it cuts to Lindsay and Carl just scowling. Like, how can you talk about swingers? You have a couple of them else.

That's what you need to do. I put Maya and Lindsay's share of luck. Like, oh, oh really? You think that that's an invitation for you to. I put my and Lindsay Chereluck out. Oh really? You think that that's an invitation for you to dress up on my man? So then Carl's like, hey, all Chris, let me give you a tour of the halls. Okay, I'll show you the ropes, like whatever you need. So this is a room, I don't know if you know about the concept of rooms, but this is a room for walls, a door, a window, a pretty standard kind of room.

Just showing you the ropes. He's like, yeah, yeah bro, yeah, I got it. It's like, yeah, so, yeah, it's a room. Because so what time do you wake up? Oh, 7 am. 7 am. Yeah, because we're doing golf. Barry's boot camp in the morning at 8.

That's sort of our personality now. So yeah. So are they talking about sharing a room? Is that what's going on? I know. Because so Chris goes, OK, well, I guess we'll just see how the night goes. And Carl's like, oh, you do berries. You do berries, but camp.

And he goes, yeah, I do real boot camp. He goes, what's that? You're marine. You're marine? Like, seriously? You're marine right now. And Chris is like, yeah, who are? He Carl gets by the way.

He like has his like CPU like. He like needs some buffering. He's like,'s like your mom. You're a mom. What what Okay, bro. Oh Me bruh. Oh, so far so far. Oh Super far. Yeah, he's having flashbacks to his ultimate bro. River. Oh, yeah Yeah, I like that Chris goes. Yeah, who are I like that, Chris goes, yeah, who are? It's funny. I've never heard of like that. Yeah, who are? Hey, who are?

It's the Hamptons. You have to be fine. That is the most Hamptons who I've ever heard. That's like how I imagine Inaigarten doing it, like down the street, like who are? At least he is that. Even Jeffrey could do it. I'm gonna give you the tips to how to storm into a country without even getting a bruise. How easy is that?

So Chris is like, yeah, my brothers were in the Marine Corps, my uncles were in the Marine Corps, my great uncles, my great brothers, my grandparents, step uncles. So who are my right guys? You know, I see a lot of crazy stuff being from the war. So I just choose to see the positive right? Cause you can complain every day or you can be grateful every day. So like, well, congratulations, you're in a house full of people who are complaining every day. I know.

I was just kind of dot dot dotting that because I'm like, the vibe in this house sucks. I was just waiting for the reason to be grateful every day. So are you going to tell me why I should not complain every day or is this a lesson? I feel like Chris is trying to give me lessons and they're just maybe not phrased right or I can't take them because of his Herodil I'm not really sure what's happening, but every time Chris talks it ends in a dot dot dot for me Yeah, and you know what I'm not gonna complain anymore. I'm gonna be grateful so to that very sweet and lovely couple ringing that bell at the Kila dealership. I am grateful for you to and lovely couple ringing that bell at the killer dealership. I am grateful for you too,

because you made me feel in a motion that day, and I knew I was alive. I find the best way to be grateful is to complain, because when you complain, it leads to you being grateful, just because you feel guilty that you've just dumped so much negativity on somebody. Like I do with you. Like when we start talking, I'm like,

oh, you won't believe this shit. So this person said they were gonna do this they didn't what a mother fucker I know what I'm exposed expected to pick it up But you know everything is going great. I have a lot to be grateful for so thanks for listening to that bang I Have a question do you guys I'm getting spam messages on my Skype. It's like oh my god boobs Do you hear it? Do you hear this is messages coming in coming in. It's like, we, we, we, I just want to know if people are hearing it. If you're, what the hell is that?

No, I'm not hearing it, but I have gotten some boob lady who's like, can we translate this chat? And I was like, no, you can tell me you want to fuck me in English. Let's come on. Yeah. Yeah. My answer is meet your girlfriend something. Find me on girls for fuck. I'm like, do you could you at least put some effort into your spam? I'm not looking for girlfriends. I mean, I'm in a I'm in a very happy relationship, but at least target me properly I do like girls for fuck though. That's a good website, you know, that's like someone who was really thinking ahead when they were on the host Monster looking for a website name. really thinking ahead when they were on the host monster looking for a website name.

It's great. It goes to the great job. Girls for fucking. Girls for fucking. Yeah, it's right to it. So now my trip's on a carpet. And then Gabby, they're just like all getting into their room and Gabby's like calling dibs on parts of the closet

and she's like, and they're like, they're just like, wait, wait, you're gonna like take all the best spots. Because no, I'm an equal opportunist. I warned you that that's what I was going to do and it's up to you at this point of what you want to do next. Yeah, so then Paige gets into her Lindsey stuff. She's like, so, is it awkward with Lindsay Maya?

You should talk to Carl. I think you should definitely pull Carl aside and not invite Lindsay into the conversation. She'll love that. So just make sure you do it when you're all in a group situation. Lindsay can see you and then pull Carl aside. She's gonna love it. And he'll be very receptive. And I'm sure he misses you. I mean, he looks like he misses you. And she's like, I mean, I'm not really trying to make it worse. Oh no! I mean, if she's dictating who he can be friends with, that's a bigger issue.

And we'll have to save Carl. She's like, okay, it goes up, make sense. Yeah, nothing to go wrong. So then in the other room, Amanda and Kyle are like putting on bathing suits. She's like, doesn't want to put one on because it's cold out and Kyle is singing about like, where have you seen my penis? She's like, where did it go? They're singing back and forth. like, where have you seen my penis? And she's like, where did it go? They're singing back and forth. And then now, like, Kyle goes downstairs. And Carl is like doing dishes.

He's like cleaning dishes over in the corner in the kitchen. And Kyle is talking to him about setting up a speaker because he's like, he's like, so I was thinking like I would aim the speaker towards the kitchen because that's where most people are Thinking like that. I think that would work and Carl's like, I don't know And it's like He like doesn't his like a silence. Yeah, and he's facing away from Kyle You know, so he's just silence and Kyle's like oh

But I just feel like we're in the kitchen. So if you know, we can be maybe need less volume if it's like pouring it at us And he's ignored Carl just doesn't say anything then volume, if it's like pouring it at us, any signal word. Carl just doesn't say anything then. Yeah, and he's like, okay, yeah, I know, it's like so Kyle, right? Doesn't sound like so Kyle when I just add. And Carl just ignores him, and Gabby comes in, she's like, what? It's going on, nah. And Carl's like, on a geek.

And Carl goes, oh, I hope you like music, cause I guess we're pretty loud. That's what's happening. Yeah, it's kind of nuts so little joke at some point. Which to me, I feel like I detected some passive aggression there. Yeah, right. I don't like this, and I was gonna show up and be mean to Kyle. Yeah, I'm sorry. Carl is the one who's being a bigger detective Kyle here,

because Kyle's actually trying to talk to Carl, and like, Carl just ignored him, And then also earlier when Carl was like, oh shit, we're the only three guys. I was hoping to hang out with different guys. So Carl is definitely the one who's giving Kyle more of the cold shoulder. Carl's being a dick and listen, even if you don't like him over something

that happened at work, which I guess is their storyline this season because Carl announced a week that he no longer works at Leverboy. Even if that's the case, Kyle hired you when nobody else would. Like he really came through it for you. So you need to watch your shit, sir. Okay.

And on top of that, Carl, member Carl was like really, he was sort of going on benders on the job, right? And Kyle still sort of like, yeah, kept an eye out for him and sort of did not benders on the job, right and Kyle still sort of like Yeah kept an eye out for him and sort of did not throw him out, right? I have a feeling this is gonna all come back to you You stand up for me my relationship out in the winter house like people are coming from in you stand up for me Which is kind of Lindsay using Carl by proxy to fight everybody else in the house

I mean if you're dating Lindsay who is basically Against everybody in the house every season, or at least she's at least against half the house every season, then it's going to lead to a lot of problems, you know, that you're in the middle of just by proxy. Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm interested to see what the core of this is. Because the thing is Kyle says later on that things are to change around April. And I have to imagine that's, I think that's around when the reunion filmed, right? Filmed or aired. So it probably has fallout from the reunion.

And I, of course, remember nothing from the reunion except that page was really mad and had to stick back here and that Lindsay and Carl. Like Carl was like really taking up for Lindsay at that reunion and I don't remember what Carl said to him but like clearly it's beef from the reunion. Yeah. So whatever it is Carl's kind of looking like an asshole to me. So then Lindsay is like, Lindsay comes downstairs. She's like, I kind of feel under drugs for tonight's bull party. And Carl goes, of course, bib.

You look right. You look right. You want to be under drugs too, so we can match. Cool. And Gabby feels her boobs. And she's like, your boobs are like, s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. Yeah, they were done a long time ago. Oh, so, they've really had time to settle in. And Carl's like, are you touching a long time ago. So they've really outdone his head on the land.

And Karzai, are you touching my girlfriend's boobs? I'm gonna touch them tail. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Hey, they think those speakers are gonna be too loud for their boobs, because I'll totally talk to Karla about it. Now that I'm an adult, I don't like loud meals. So, then the girls are outside.

And Maya's talking about how she is still dating Oliver and she just, she actually loves Oliver. She's like, I love Oliver, which is really nice. For some reason, I thought they had broken up. I don't know why I got that impression, but they're still together, which is really cute. And then Chris is talking to Sam and he's like, so are you naturally blonde? I dig it. She's like, yeah, naturally blonde, funny story.

So I was like in Cosmo and an entire entire jar of ink toner fell in my head. That's right, they keep their ink toner in jars there. It's crazy. They're just like on the cutting edge of fashion. And at filmahare, my hair turned black, and everyone thought I was a brunette, but I'm naturally blonde. It's like, well, there's a lot of backstory for a personal question. He's like, thanks for the invite to sit down.

She's, oh, you're right, I definitely didn't do that. Sorry, he's like, I'm the guy I'd like made. Come on, so. Rethink. Who are? Make a bob. Okay, yeah. So then,

BKE, Biggob Energy. Carl is, so, okay, so Maya wants to pull Carl aside, right? So, she does, and of course, pull Karl aside, right? So She does and of course, then he's like got a tight smile like oh my god. I'm totally fine with this I don't really even get that they're talking right now Carl's like, I mean, oh, what are we talking about? I mean we haven't spoken since LA, you know So oh man, he wants to be like I'm spoken using some words Ha hope you're not feeling salty about the fact that we didn't choose you to do the bonus round on the feud.

Do the feud, you know what I'm saying? It's horrible, but you literally answered chocolate chip to every question. So, like when they asked what's the average age that you retire and you said chocolate chip, it just didn't work. I'm just not sure what you you doing, Maal? Yeah. Um, she's like, well, I was told it was not appropriate to speak to you, but like, I've never been talked to like Lindsay's, she's like the female Carl. She's got like Carl kind of cadence.

She's like, I've never been like talked to like Lindsay spoke to me. She spoke to me like, I was like, not a human. Like, I'd come to you and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but like, I've always had a friendship with you. Like, I never tried to even touch you. And he's like, oh, I never thought, nah, I never thought like you were coming on it. Yeah, oh, I'll do the laugh. And she's like, yeah, but for like that to be sad,

that was hurtful, Carl. It was hurtful. Aw, aw, aw, aw. So Carl right now is doing that thing where the Carl side of him wants to be like, oh, so sorry. I didn't mean that. But the boyfriend side of him is like, I know if I say that,

it'll seem like I'm not being loyal to Lindsay. So it's like, oh, well, well, I guess, you know, I'm just like learning that as well. Like, I mean, I just learned that Chris is like, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a marine, you know, so like, I didn't know that. There's like a lot of stuff happening, so like I just need like a moment, you know, to, I just like a lot from here right now, you know. And she's like, but Carl, I like care for you.

I mean, like, I wasn't in the car with you girls, but at the same time, like my priority is her. So you need to know that. For a while, I'm gonna choose a fight, a side in this fight is gonna be the cardboard cutout that lears over me at my, so. Yeah, so Nurse Hard Politicians does not take a rejection role,

so I just wanna say if my voice gets really loud right now, it has nothing to do to you, but like I take my girlfriend's side, saying that loud, so it goes over the backyard. backyard. Okay. And this is kind of that side of Carl that we see when he starts being mean to girls, like when he's flirting with them and then he gets really cold with them. And we're seeing this with how it's treating him. I, you know, he gets like that coldness to him. And she's like, well, I get it. I mean, do us best for and he goes, yeah, she is okay. And he goes, well, I'm just telling you like it is.

Okay. So I said, okay. My question is, Carl has a history of, you know, he does the fuck boy thing, where he flirts with girls. They fall for him, they hook up. And then he says, I just want to take it slow, but they get like attached. And then he, because he doesn't want them to be attached,

he then starts basically going around the house and making it seem like they're crazy and they're clingy. And I wonder if he's going to do that to Maya in this situation. Or is that? Or is that, was that behavior kind of like wrapped up with, um, you know, his drinking? I don't think everything can be just blamed on drinking. I'm not what I'm just, I'm just a kind of person.

I'm just a tip. I don't like to, like say anything. I don't think it's fair game to blame anything on drinking really, except the extreme, extreme stuff. You know, I think that that takes your defenses down, you know, so to where you'll be, I'm definitely less filtered, but I'm not just not myself. I guess it's when I'm drinking, you know?

You know, I shouldn't say his drinking, but the person he was when he was drinking in the sense of like, whatever the insecurities were, whatever the demons he had that was, that were driving him to like, drink really hard, maybe could have been the same demons that were fueling a fuckboy existence. And the question is whether or not, like how much of like that fuckboy existence has been left behind in that era and how much carries through now

is sort of what I'm trying to say. I guess we'll find out. I'm interested to see like, for as much as he said, like this is the new grown up carl, what I'm interested to see how he treats her over the course of the summer now. Yeah, it'll be interesting because now it's not fuck boys, just general treatment to people, you know, because he can't be the fuck boy thing.

Yeah. It's only interesting to see. Well, so I'm super interested in this Lindsay thing because we still haven't heard from Lindsay about all this and now I'm confused because Carl is acting like, well, like, oh, sorry, I broke up with you, basically with Maya, and I don't know why he's acting like that. So Lindsay, of course, immediately pulls Carl, and she's like, um, what happened? And he said, well, she's clearly upset, like, she felt she wasn't able to be friends with me because of like how everything went down

and, well, you know, like, the issue that you guys had. And she's, um, I'm a love to talk boundaries without feeling guilty in my own Relationship and that's like yeah, but your boundaries are with your boyfriend. You don't get to set boundaries for other people but can weirdo and Wasn't all of so much of last season what I have with Sierra and Lindsay wasn't that about Couldn't I'm this is devil's advocate. Okay, I'm not taking any sort of like Sierra side, but like, wasn't Sierra with Austin also about setting boundaries? And Lindsay was like, whatever,

we already had a thing in it. So now Lindsay is suddenly setting boundaries. I'm just saying there's something a little hypocritical to me about this coming from Lindsay, which is of course classic Lindsay, which is why we love her. So she's telling us, I don't expect my end to know exactly what's going on in Carl's life, but I do expect her to have respect to ask about it because Carl was struggling with sobriety around the holidays, and then I literally got sober to support him, and

then I have Maya literally doing the opposite. So she's saying that the problem is she gets sober to help Carl because Carl is having trouble with sobriety And then Maya's offering Carl drugs. So she's making it sound like Maya. She wasn't mad that Maya was flirting She's mad that Maya is trying to throw Carl off of his sobriety path And then we find out that Carl was California sober. That's what yeah yeah. Not sober sober. So then it becomes, now we see whether some defensiveness in it because we know from watching these shows, when you go on national television and say you're sober, you have people watching you like a hawk, and being like, you're not sober. No, no, no, I saw you do this and what kind of sober are you?

And now, a lot ripping you apart, mainly me, every other scene going, so you still do coke, right? But, Ronnie, there's so apart, mainly me, every other scene going, so you still do coke, right? But, Ronnie, there's so many lessons you could learn about being sober and they're not being sober anymore. But, uh, yeah, we find out that it's coming up at some point where Carl says that he's California sober, aka, he still smokes weed. So I'm confused why that time he was. So I guess when he was struggling with his sobriety, maybe he was like, no,

that's not being sober. And then you've got Maya offering him, you know, a chance to get higher something. And so she's saying she was basically sticking up for Carl sobriety. But they're making everyone else's, Maya's making it sound like it was a jealous relationship thing. But also like I think that when Maya said the story, that it was like a throwaway joke. I don't know. I'm gonna sneeze right now, so you just talk. What was the throwaway joke?

The joint thing. When she said like, oh, I'm so mad, let's go smoke a J. Right, wasn't that what she said happened at family feud? Yeah, but she said that she and Carl used to smoke all the time together. So she was telling Lindsay We should just all get together and smoke, you know, and they're Lindsay got mad

I guess because it was sobriety so yeah anyway. That's where we're at with that fight So Lindsay goes Lindsay goes I will not tell her any another summer of everything being on Lindsay I'm the adult here and it comes like I know and well,. And well, you know what, you got to grow up at some point and have an adult's conversation. So now Lindsay is all about throwing around the word adult. I'm the adult here and you've got to have adult conversations. We are adults now. We go to pumpkin patches, okay?

You mentioned pumpkin patches again. And we kick the tires before we go on A-Rine. That's how we do it adults. So now it's 12 o' 5 a.m. And cause like guys it's that time of night. These shot glasses is just strobing for nothing. It's like a rallying Kevlar here. Poor Kyle is parting like it's 1999 and everyone else has heard the word adults bandied about so much by Lindsay that they're just tired everyone else just wants to go to bed They are yeah, and like at 12 13 a.m. Everyone goes to bed

It's also apparently cold out. I don't know. So then Kyle is um, he's like, well, I'm gonna do a sound test with the speakers and then Chris goes oh So my ears are sensitive. So let me get out of the vicinity Just no Kyle is like this is give me the worst summer ever And Karos Valkyrie and going oh, are you gonna come to Barry's tomorrow because It's an 8 a.m. And there's still some good spots. There's some still some good spots If anybody wants to come you're welcome to come again. Good night everybody good night everybody Hey, I don't want to wake up really early on a weekend and go somewhere where they could like feel like they're going to pass out and puke all the same time.

It'll be really fun. Yeah. And Kyle's like, what the hell? Carl was so real last summer and he wasn't running around with the clipboard. Like you go into berries. You go into berries. You go into berries. Yeah, it's like, it is the new normal.

I'm going to jump out the window and pH goes, what a weird first day. Kinda makes me miss Dez. That's not my guess. I can't even talk about it. So then Carl and Lindsay, Carl's being weird in the room was like, how can I help you? And he's like, just want me to add.

She's like, I do love you, babe. Say, baby, I'm, babe. Babe, babe. Babe, yeah. Sure. I love you. So then Amanda talking to the girls, she goes, did you know that Leonardo da Vinci stayed

in this house? And Paige is like, I'm Leonardo da Caprio. You stupid idiot idiot I can't believe this is what I'm left with and Gabby's like yeah I'm like that's not even possible and then I feel like your favorite thing is watching Kyle binge eating in the kitchen late at night when he's drunk. Socky do himself. I don't claim to have a weakness I just checked now cookie toe ball. I guess can't see him're waiting for a cookie. Oh, wait. No, I got a fucking keto diet Yeah, a kilo bar

Keto, what are they putting in America's it's not keto. I'll tell you that much I'm weirdo towel drops So now it's Saturday at 7 a.m. And Carl tells us long She's always like she's always been such a light in my life, like there are very few people updated where I can be completely myself, with her I literally can be Carl. And she likes that, I'm happy, I'm in love, it's just Carl, a pure undiluted Carl. If you're an adult, there'd be a Carl, 100%.

Yeah, Carl. Raw Carl, Carl, I just missed Carl's self. All the way is put on me at all the times. Yeah, I'll pick a way down there. So then they leave for the workout and then it just shows some coming right back from the workout. But they always do that. There was so much talk about this bear is workout

that I actually almost wanted to see them working out, but they just go and then come back. Yeah. So the girls are talking on the bed, and Sam feels like everyone was so welcoming, and the page is like, yeah, well, there was an underlying presence with Carl and Lindy, and my last night, Rebecca and Kevin's like,

yeah, that was like a very present. I felt like when they came in, everyone just like a ton stop about. Not. Yeah. And then Chris has come back from a run and he's like, all sweaty and he's like, did you get hit by a maelotron? He's like, actually, almost twice.

Oh, good, because I was driving it. I was really aiming for you, sorry. That's such a crazy. So then then um, Carl's like laying down on the couch and uh, Lindsay passes by and he goes, babe, it's just oh hi, hi, hi. And he goes, oh, it's just rushed my eyes. Gotcha. Yeah. I sensed out like there was like a babe. Percent souls like, babe. I knew where that worked out well. Yeah. So, Amanda, yeah, Amanda is saying that she, it looks like Kyle's sad because he lost his

buddy and Gabby's like, oh my god, that's so sad. Yeah. Oh, sorry, no, I'm sorry, go ahead. I was gonna say, I think this is the scene where Carl and Lindsay are in the living room, sort of like standing, talking to themselves and Lindsay are in the living room sort of like standing, talking to themselves and Kyle's in the kitchen. And they're like, it's one of these like, it's like a European fart, it's like a fart film where it's like two people standing so close, but so far away from each other, you know, like so many things not being said. And they're kind

of just like, basically they're ignoring Kyle. And then they just like walk out of the room and then Carl walks out of the room. And he like looks over to Kyle, but doesn't say anything just leaves. Yeah. Sad. So sad you guys. Then they're all getting ready and Carl's on the bed and Lindsay's getting ready and he goes, oh, I like this view. I'm saying, oh my god, you're lying. I like being viewed. And then that cast and he goes, just so freaking pretty.

So then Sam is 12. Sam is with the girls. So she trolls around in a bathing suit and the man can copy at the same time, go, wow. She goes, thank you. Thank you. Oh, yeah. I don't Oh, thank you. Yeah. I learned that it's really hard.

So then Amanda is using the flat iron and the back of Kyle's mullet, making it look old nice and fluffed up and everything. And then Paige is like, oh, bad news Maya. I can't drink tequila anymore. It makes me gag. I was like, oh, that's because I gave you a shot of balsamic backs and oh, that makes a lot more sense. Okay, I'm good with tequila then. So they all pile into cars to go party.

And of course, it's a hapsis party. So it's a huge maximum of four rooms. Roze for Chris to dance around with. So they all party party and man that talks about how she did cause hair. party party and Amanda talks about how she did cause hair. And then Maya is like, so Chris and you Sam are chatting and Chris is like, oh no, she's like, so Chris you and Sam are chatting. He's like, it's a vibe. Who are? Yeah. Yeah. And she's like, give me one to Kayla Shaw. And I'm like off the deep and immediately, oh my God, this one time I was talking to Anna went to her and I was like, bitch, how are you?

Because I was drunk, it was terrible. So Karla's like, hey, get your friend here. Didn't you say your friend was going to come Chris? We need more kids, more kids, more kids, without speakers. Tell them not to bring you bluetooth speaker, please. So make sure they don't run beverage companies. I don't from New Hampshire and don't have a name that rhymes with pile. Okay, no more. No more. It's allowed. Okay, dudes without

more. Okay. So my am page demand are talking and they're like, who's this best friend, you know? And so then page is talking about how there's pressure about who's moving to who. Craig or Paige, he's gonna move. Everybody really cares. And then Gabby and Kyle are talking and Kyle's like, say, you know,

like when you're new here, so I wanna get to know you. She's actually, I'm like really shallow. Just, wait, I'm sorry, you you said just shallow, you heard it right? Like, it's really not a lot going on. It's like a male model is like my ideal type. And if I'm being honest, it's not really working out well for me, because like here I am single, but they're hot.

So. Yeah, so they decide they're gonna do a lap and she's gonna point out everyone that's her type. And pretty much at that moment, Chris's friend, Jerez shows up and he is gorgeous. And so Carl was like, Hey, what's up? What are you like?

Six five, why? Six five is like, yeah, I'm just like, actually I'm just like a little bit shorter. Like, yeah, but you're not like five eight and run like anything called like lover boy or odd. So like cool, let's be best friends. Yeah. Hey, I'm Gavicus.

Oh my God. I didn't realize I could not fast the kind of guy I was looking for. I'm a watch. I'm a watch. So she's telling Lindsay. Lindsay's like, oh my God, new person. Look at us.

Talking, talking, talking, talking, porcupine, porcupine. And Gabby's like, yeah, that guy's hot, but like, I'm like, you gotta come to me. Lindsay's like, oh my God, what do we do? There's a guy, I'm the adult. I'm gonna go gawk at him, come on. Yes, they walk over, because it's Chris Carl

and is it Jerez, Jerez I think it says? Yeah, Jerez and he and then let's you walk over and goes, oh what's all this noise about? And Gabby goes, yeah what's all this noise? I was like great lines ladies. Chris goes, this is my friend Jerez, he's single and she's taken so don't worry about her and she's an adult which is like gross. That's right! Don't make me sick. Auntie Rhonda, after you, I'll do it. Hey, our cunning on the way. Party found. So then it starts to rain. We never see Gerez again, which was very disappointing. And then I like that they go, so how did you meet Gerez? And then Chris goes

salsa dancing, baby. And then Gererez and Chris both start salsa dancing. I know, which is what people in salsa class do. That's so, that's so cute. The like two hot bros met at salsa dancing class. They were like, wait, you're like a hot bro. Yeah, I am, and you're a hot bro, we should probably be hot bros together. Okay, cool, let's be hot bro.

And you know they've had that talk like, it's not enough to just be a bro anymore. You got to be a bro with skills. Hence salsa. And now they're both on TV. And you know that one of them was like, told you bro, that's just the extra edge. My special skill said salsa.

And here I am, a national television star now. Who? Wah! But I do feel like people in salsa classes often like to then bust out salsa moves anytime because they're excited to show up what they've just learned. So they'll just be on the bank and Amy Grant

will be playing. They'll be like, oh yeah, there's a beat. I hear a drum and then just start doing salsa. I'm like, you're in salsa class, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah, I'm just taking this class, you know what I'm saying, man? Yeah, that's how I do every time I'm back in tap class every few years, I go back to tap class,

and then everywhere I am, I just start tap dancing. I'm like, yeah, sorry guys, it's just muscle memory. Take a break. I'm like, well, that muscle memory. Yeah, it's just a class. Yeah, it's like, second nature, so whatever. Yeah. Enjoy the Stinoparty, though. This is fun. Flatball change. Enjoy the dinner party now.

This is fun. Flatball change. I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So, my and Kyle are talking, because it's raining. So, they're in a cabana while it's raining.

So, Kyle's all sad. And my eye goes, just the rain equate to how you felt. Yesterday, he's like, oh yeah. He's like, of all the nights to spend in the Hamptons. Last night was the lamest day of all the nice to spend in the Hamptons last night was the lamest day of all time by a hundred miles and I'm trying to put it my finger on what it was. My, it's got my, my literally points

at Lindsay and Carl's, it's them. I'm just, yeah, but my, those are my two best friends dating, like you think I'd be jumping up and down. Yeah, but the mood is like impacted by all of this He's I thought it was just me. I mean this guy just officiated my wedding and now he doesn't even care where speaker faces Since April Carl has been checked out like obviously there's a new influence in his life And I'm so scared to death to talk to him and like that's why I'm avoiding him I want Carl and Lindsay to be amazing together and I don't want to think I don't support him and my ass like

Yeah, he's like very defensive now. Yeah, well, I think there's someone in his ear Yeah, Olvres lead back to Lindsay So back home page gets back and bad and goes oh my god, I love it here back and bat and goes, oh my god, I love it here. And Lindsay goes, holy moly baby. And it comes like, I heard a Peer-O-Lay badge. I know, me too. Oh my god, our pee is match. I think it goes, your nipples are so hard, man.

So then Chris is shirtless in his room at night in burps, you know. And then he's moving a pillow from one bed to another and then he just keeps staring at both beds back and forth and goes I'm missing a pillow Story yeah, he's like He's having an existential crisis and then Lindsay says to Carl So you want to hang out with peeps. Yeah, no because you're filled for the day Yeah, no because you're filled for the day. Yeah, well

Okay, well you don't have to do you sure are filled haven't you had a lot my little baby? You're filled up with people be oh my god get off the show you two fuck with this Go be happy somewhere else This is disgusting to watch and you two Kyle and Amanda growls This isn't the show it's not the show I signed up for I don't want to watch people you two Kyle and Amanda growls. This isn't the show. It's not the show I signed up for. I don't want to watch people baby talking each other. It's gross. But at least Kyle and Amanda are like socializing with other people in the house.

And Kyle is still being kind of messy, you know? But well, now they are because they're past the stage where they need each other at all times, you know? Now they're like fine. And Maddie can go off and like have our own storylines now. She hasn't, but she can. And she's willing. She's willing.

You missed the storyline of, guys, I have an onion, some onion chunks. Okay. So yeah, just this new couple thing, not into it. So then in the morning, in the kitchen, Cal goes, he's making coffee and he goes, I will add a carb, because these sugar cubes are adorable. So I think this is actually going to be more of the through line of the season of Kyle

falling off of whatever diet he was putting himself on. I'm just slowly indulging in more and more sugar. There is something about getting a mullet where you just start walking around in your underwear and getting a pot belly. And I don't know if it's just being from Texas, but those things seem to go hand in hand. Okay, I've lived it. Carl comes down and says, wow, no pants part at all. And Carl's like, yeah, I came down for coffee and deserves a dead. So then the girls gather on page is bad. Yeah, I came down for coffee and deserves a date. No. Why?

So then the girls gather on page is bad. And meanwhile, Carlin Lindsay go outside and Lindsay is like, we shouldn't have done berries. Have you talked to Carl about work at all? And Carl's like, no, just little stuff. Like, I don't even know how the Italy trip was. Like, he hasn't even asked about our move in or anything. I was like, did they go to Italy or just to eat it Italy? Like, well, maybe we'd know if he'd like asked,

if he'd talked to me about, I don't know where he went. For all I know, the man just, the man who's gone all the way. I just went out of the loop. So what else? How's this going on? This is like an hour and a half. What were we watching?

Jesus Christ. But by the way, Carl's like, oh, I don't even know how they're tripped to Italy was. And he hasn't asked about our move in. Well, I hate when couples do this, like they haven't even asked about our move in. What do they need to know? You guys have basically lived together for several years. You lived upstairs, upstairs downstairs from each other. You guys spend summers together. Why does Kyle, like why is it supposed to be so pressing that Kyle has to ask about that?

I think the Italy trip is a thing that should require more questioning, but to be honest, both things are like, when you're ready to talk about them, talk about it, but like, so soon, you have to have to ask about your trip to Italy, you know, like, I don't care that much. I think Carl's just going through that new relationship thing where your girlfriend is everything, you don't have any other friends.

And also the girlfriend, well, the girlfriend and the wife don't like each other. And so there, you know, these guys have to try and be friends when they're significant others, just don't like each other. And that's not easy, you know, because Carl could always kind of be on Lindsay's side, but then very, because they were just friends. He could say when she was wrong. And now he can't really say when she's wrong. And at least yet, so it's going to be trouble. I know.

I think that I feel like I'm siding more with Kyle because I feel like Kyle seems a little bit more tortured by the situation where Carl seems like he's looking for excuses to be mad at Kyle, so he can move on from him. And I actually think that actually think that Amanda is actually being pretty reasonable because she then tells Kyle, like, look, your relationship has changed. You had single Carl for so long. He's just, like, he was just your buddy.

But like, it's natural for things to be a little different once people start dating, which is, it's a bitter pill to swallow, but she's right. Yeah, but she, this is also kind of what she wants, I think, is getting rid of Lindsay, you know, she's like, Oh, honey, don't worry. That's just natural. Because what does she care, you know, but that being said, I mean, even though, even though things do change when people get into relationships, what's the worst is when people get into relationship and then it's like, you never see them again, because then they just close the door behind them. That's not good. And

if she's, I don't think that she's saying that, but if she is excusing that, and that's not cool because you should be able to find a healthy balance in between. Well, like we said before, this all goes back to Winterhouse where you've got Amanda literally walking up to them trying to reignite this dick test gate. And obviously trying to cause problems

and break them up and do all this. So there's all this other stuff that's it's about it's about Amanda and I look at it is being about Amanda and Paige versus Lindsey basically in this. And it constantly is. It seems like it's constantly that, you know, and this is just how it's manifesting itself this year. And so of course Amanda's like, babe, it's normal. So when, so you're just not gonna see a Lindsay and Carl as much as just a different phase of life, you know.

But we'll see how it ends up working out. Well, Lindsay, meanwhile Carl is, you know, Carl is talking about this stuff with Lindsay. And then she's like, well, those questions just get harder because when you're, here, you're reminded of how much you love Kyle as a friend, but not as much as you would love your girlfriend. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and she has a good point where she's like, Kyle's filled the void of the older brother,

figure that you lost. However, you have a working relationship and he can't be everything to you. And so you need to figure out what you want because no matter what, he's going to be let down. So get used to that because it'll make it much easier. She's like, she's like, get ready to go to support Kyle and fucking do it, Carl. And he's like, okay. Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. So interesting. We'll see what happens. I mean, it is a couple of things, but they, listen, they brought enough fresh to go on for this long. So yeah, it's, I thought it was actually a really good start. I was afraid that this was going to be the really lame season of adulting, but what I actually am finding is that I think that this situation with Carl and Kyle is going to be very compelling because I think it's actually something that a lot of us have dealt with before.

So I'm hoping that this will actually be a really good season because I love the newbies. The newbies are great. Yeah. Yeah, definitely good casting. Well, everybody, thank you very much for being here. Don't forget to put in your submission videos for a more consideration. Yeah. Yeah. Advocate for your favorites. Okay. Don't let if there's someone who deserves an award and deserves recognition, then make sure we know about it. Okay. Tag us at Watch for

Crappens and we'll be back later this week. We'll have below deck and a whole bunch of other shows. So we'll see you on the next one. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Danna Dune, Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Hava Nagilo Weber, Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch, Christian the Piston Anderson, can't stop fanning over Tina Manning. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger. You're never alone with Lacey Montellown. Let's give a kiss Arinoino, to Lysalino.

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