Watch What Crappens - Summer House: The Final Fireball

Episode Date: May 9, 2020

The video version of this recap is up as part of Crappens on Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo on Patreon It's the Season 4 Finale of Summer House, and there's a lot of peeing in odd places. Definitely wear your mask. For this week's bonus episode about Bravo's new show Camp Getaway, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Patches!

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Let's rev our pistons for Amanda and Kristen! It's a frog's ass watertight, it's Rosen's Seity! No one can do it like Andrea to it! Jamie, she has no last namey! Somebody get us ten CCs of Betsy M.D! Let's give them a kiss, huh? It's Austin and Marissa! Nancy C. Centicisto! We will we will Joana Rockland you I take the fifth with Dana one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one.

Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Happy, it's not this one. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens.

A podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. On you, old bros, I'm Ronnie, and that's been over there. Happy, yeah. Hi, how's it going? Good, how bros, I'm Ronnie and that's been over there. Happy in. Hi, how's it going? Good. How you doing, sweet guy? Um, I'm just, I'm wonderful. It's Friday.

Uh, I'm a little sad because we're bidding a due to summer house, which I love. I thought they had such a good season. I just wanted to go on and on and on, but all like all summers, it must draw to it close. Bye, bitch. I see it. Uh, yeah, I had a really good time watching it to you this year, but it did what I All like all summers it must draw to a close Yeah, I had a really good time watching it to you this year, but it did what I have been asking bravo to do for every show Which is ending at a decent time, you know 14 episodes. I think was perfect Mm-hmm the super awkward

Reunion over zoom was really fun for me. Yes We're gonna be talking about yeah, we'll talk about that in our bonus episode. That'll come out Monday. So sorry, Sec is you got to become Patreon members. Thank you. Yeah. But before we get into summer house tonight, if this is out in time for you to even hear this tonight,

we're doing a crap ins live quarantine for our Real Housewives of New York episode. We're going to pre-party at 6 p.m. on Instagram Live, and then we're gonna move over to Crappin's On Demand over on Patreon and do a live stream of that recap. You could also be watching this right now, because this is also a video recap available on Crappin's On Demand,

because how can you not for the finale of some house? How could you not? Actually, very easily, we could not, but you know we decided why not because we love this show. So let's let's listen. Listen if you're on crap and so on to man you can watch my weight gain journey by the day. I mean it is amazing how it happens day to day because once I said fuck it I'm just going to gain some weight. I don't care. I'm not only gaining weight. I'm gaining massive amounts of weight to the point where I'm jiggling

when I'm walking around and feeling it. And I'm like, you know what, feels good, feels great, feels weird rolling over in bed. You know, come on, come watch, guys. I got some Tates Cookies, and then on top of that, I made some chocolate chip cookies. So I don't even know why I did that. That doesn't make sense.

And so like I'll have my, my cookie eating schedule is, well now's the part of the day where I have a Tates cookie. And then later it's like a now's time of day where I have a homemade cookie. I love it. That's my, that, and that does not include the ice cream that we have in the house. And it does not include the, um, the five guys that I ordered last night, or the chocolate shake I ordered. I mean it's like full on, yeah.

You really are, that's a lot for you. I mean I'm used to myself, I'm not used to you going crazy, I love it. I'm fully off the rails. I'm doing things like I got a brownie yesterday and because my computer crashed again, I know whoever listens to the show is like how's your computer crashing every month? It does I come tell me it's true. It does totally crash I had so I had to drive it into the city because I live in the country So I had to drive it into the city to find a max store that was open go in there my mask and everything anyway

I was like I'm finding a fucking brownie. So I did a family brownie And then I saved it and then by the time I was eating this brownie I was like, you know what would be good with this almonds? So I got out almonds and I ate them, I would take off the piece of the brownie and then eat almonds and the brownie. I mean, it's just, it's disgusting over here. It's disgusting.

It's actually not a disgusting addition. And we one thing, if you're like, you know, if you go with this brownie, a blondie, and then you made like brownie blondie combos, but you adding almonds to something is not really disgusting. It's actually helpful. Yeah, you're very healthy.

So anyway, the point is, I'm getting really fast. Okay. So the point is small business shout out. So guys, go support your fellow Geraldine's today's first business shout out, small business shout out is for patty. Patty has a one woman nutrition bar company in Pennsylvania go gold go bars which is great I like that how did you get that name I feel like that I know is so good good for you for jumping on that name

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Honey, bad news, don't give a crap. That guy, okay Ben, what do you have today? Okay, well this one comes from someone with a wonderful name. Her name is Laura Leatherberry and she has a small business called Sipping This. Sipping This, this is capitalized. It's all one word. Sipping This and she sells funny wine themed gifts

like coasters and shirts and they all have like fun wine puns on them and stuff like that. And they're really cute and funny and they are great for gifts. They'll be great for Mother's Day, which is this Sunday. So it's probably slightly too late for that, but like, why not give, you know, it's never too late for Mom to get a gift.

So go get yourself something from her place. Her gift wrap orders are for free, and she's donating 10% of all her sales to restaurant workers impacted by COVID-19, which is amazing. Thank you for doing that Laura. Her Instagram is at sipping this, and her store is shop sippingthis.com. And she also loves Real Housewives of New York. And she was really hoping that we'd give this shout out on a New York episode. And unfortunately we're doing that tonight.

Oh, wait a minute. I know, I just realized it just now failed it. But you know what, summer house takes place in the Hamptons. And there's only on one other show that takes place in the Hamptons. And that's the Real Housewives of New York. So you're basically there, okay? Anyway, go check out that.

Sipping this, shopSippingThis.com. Really fun, really cute, good gift stuff. I think a lot of people would love all that. Thanks Laura. All right. Okay, so here we are at a summer house season final. We're about to basically lose this or shit. Okay.

Again. Again, yeah, Amanda leases it. and listen, I'm okay with you losing. It's a Bravo show. I love when people lose it. I think it's really fun. Don't beat up the refrigerator in your fucking rental house. Yeah. Okay, I mean, we just talked about my weight gain, not okay with people messing with refrigerators.

Refrigerators literally do nothing to you. I get that they probably do nothing for you either. But listen, don't call that to Ellen Burston in recommend her dream That's all I got to say well, I just mean Amanda because she doesn't need a refrigerator like as much as me You know like a fridge is very important to me So I'm saying okay, Amanda back off the fridge The odds and by the way just in general whatever it is that's on your mind don't tell Ellen Burston. That's just a good way to live life.

Like, Ellen Burston's going through a lot already, okay. Shorty dealt with an exorcism, she dealt with a fridge that tried to eat her. She's dealt with a lot, so just leave her alone, okay. It's funny that you brought up a drug movie with Ellen Burston because every problem on Bravo right now is just everybody not being able to handle their coke intake. You know, like every problem we've had this week is like people raging out because they're doing too much goddamn coke at the wrong times. Okay, learn how to do your

coke. You're making everybody else look bad. Okay, like if you're going to be a coke user, be a responsible goddamn coke user. And that's it. Well, I believe that Jack's blamed his issues on Adderall earlier. Well, that's how you say coke because it's legal, you know? Oh, okay. That's what you say. I mean, everybody takes Adderall, duh.

You take that just to live. I've never had it. I'm a goody-toothed shoes, actually. No, good for you. So, shocker. So, the rest of the goddamn world takes Adderall and then when they're confronted about Coke use they say they're taking too much Adderall because Adderall is legal and they won't get arrested.

It's kind of like how heroin addicts are like, God I sure love smoking that weed. It's like in your veins, you love smoking it in your veins because it's legal. Or it's like on bravo, whenever they want to refer to the fact that when people want to refer to fact that they're a cast on a TV show They always say well whenever I'm hanging around with this group She's new to our circle Like you mean your TV show. Yeah, this group of girls you famous am I right? So anyway So this episode opens up with the big cliffhanger from last week on Summer House was that they

were doing this roast and then Paige lost her mind sort of out of nowhere and she was like, um, Lindsay, I wasn't being a bad friend to Hannah and like, you're a fake ass bitch, okay? You tried to see that I was a bad friend to Hannah, like, fuck you, oinzy. Yeah, she did that thing where she was saving up, being mad at somebody and waiting for the perfect moment and doing it in her head, like, this is how I'm gonna tell Lindsay off.

But then it came at the wrong time, like a time didn't come to tell Lindsay off, so people were clearing the table and she's like, well, I'm gonna do it now. It's like, no, wrong time. That time, you just made Lindsay look like the biggest victim ever in your self look. Like a total dick.

Yeah, it's like she had the rage of someone who was just told that Marshalls has recently sold out of moccasins. She's like, well, I was told that they were moccasins here today. So I would like you to get some more of the back room because I know that they're there. Thank you. Lindsey's like, I'm not even going to knock him out my own. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not you know about me You're fucking wrong and we're not gonna talk about you stupid ass bitch

Subscribe and like below this anger Yeah, so then Lindsay goes off crying with Hannah and the bushes. I'm just thinking. Oh my god, there's only them. I'm not gonna handle Hannah. There's only a little man. I ain't gonna handle Hannah. I haven't activated. So Hannah's like, so, Jules told Paige that you said Paige is a bad friend. So I think that's what happened.

And Lindsay's like, no. So Jules is lying. Jules are lying. The Bravo sound effect. So earlier today, just so we know who's lying, who's not. Lindsay and the car are going, I'm so going to use my, the girls can't be having like, why can't she get even out for an hour and a half and then everybody's am happy you got that even out for an hour and a half. And then later, Jules setting the table with Paige saying, she was like, I don't know why the girls just can't be happy, which is exactly what happened. Why is, are they trying to make Lindsey look like a liar or prove that she's not a liar? I don't, I don't even know. I may even know. I guess the difference is that Lindsay is saying,

why can't they be happy for her? And Jules' version was, if they're really her friends, why can't you be happy? Which is like, Jules' version implies that Lindsay's questioning their friendship. And Lindsay's version is just like, why can't they just be happy? It's a subtlety, but you know what?

Language matters people. Language matters. Choose your language matters choose your words Choose your words carefully choose your words carefully So Amanda and Kyle are in pages room talking to her and Amanda's like And then Kyle's like I got a piss and By the way, congrats because this is the only scene that Kyle says I got a piss and doesn't actually piss on something that is owned by somebody in this rental house. Kyle? Yeah, this is a big, I was going to say this is a big arc for him is finally finding the

toilet after a full season. But then after this, he does pee everywhere all over the episode. Yeah, he's just being everywhere. He's just having a puppy puppy a bleach blonde little puppy Yeah, so page basically think that Lindsay was like really happy when the little trio was all fighting and then when they made up She got really really mad, you know, because she was like upset. They all like we're fine So and then we see and then we see Lindsay now she's moved her crying into the pantry Because she wasn't getting enough attention crying in the woods

So now she's in the pantry crying over all the oatmeal and stuff and so Luke is in there and he's like, oh, okay, hold there there. You know, all you need is a big hug. Just a big old there. You feel like a hot dish wrapped in a towel right now there you go. I'm going to be a vingling dog one. Like wow, wow, hug, hug, hug, bye, bye. So then Luke and Hannah are in the kitchen talking.

And he's like, what page just did the Lindsay was fucked up? Did I just go back to junior high school? Yeah, I'm popular again. Real popular again. God, I'm dreaming of getting a motorcycle one day and making rings. Rings a million. Just like junior high.

Oh my god, I, you know what? I feel like I'm back in junior high. You know, those days when you could just like fail all your tests, but still somehow like graduate with honors, you know? Is that strange? Get ahead in life. Daniel's like, guys, like you fighting with her, like kind of puts me in a bad situation. Let's just set up. What's the situation with that? Yeah. How about you just be grateful you got a roof over your head, okay? In the Hamptons. Yeah, and cows like look, I know you're close with Lindsey, but why doesn't she just stop saying things that are fucked up?

Yeah, and then meanwhile Hannah is just like roping Luke. She just she just has her hand up his shirt and she's like, hey Lindsey Feel his abs. Feel his abs. They're amazing. And he's like, no, I don't have abs, no. And then she, and he had to go, touch my abs, touch my abs at which point, Lindsay, then starts groping her breasts and then licks her nip. I was like, there's a whole anatomy situation here that's gone miscommunicated. Yeah.

And I guess they're all going to bed because we see Kyle and Black and White going, and taking the cash Taking my cash Letter and you got a hand it to him not only does he sound just like Durinda which is amazing But he's also upstaged every song that Luke has written this season that was actually really good I I personally enjoyed moments after, watching Carl trying to juggle in the dining room. He had like three oranges and he was like trying to juggle and then

he just goes, oh, the jugular. And Jules is like, you want to have a hot tub moment? So they go down to the hot tub. And she's like, this is, we have fun together and this is all I really ever wanted to summer. It was like someone to bond with. And the producers like, did you hook up and she's like, oh my god, this is where I blush. The drugler. I'm juggling. Juggling. Yeah, so then they go, yeah, she's so excited to be like, this is when I blush. So then they go upstairs and they got on to Carl's bed and he promptly, like almost falls off, which is so Carl, because he's by the way in his like, tight white pants and shirtless.

And at one point, he had like a sweatshirt draped over his neck or whatever, so it was like, it was like full on Carl, you know. So he's lying on the bag. Whoa, whoa, I must fall off. The jugular, how must became the juggly? Ha, ha, jewels. Anyway, here's the deal. There's so much going on in our lives, like the last thing I need to be in is a composition where you and I have to talk about like quote unquote, what's going on? You know, I'm saying, I just

want to take a flow. Just want to get some great by the way, look great by the way. Whoa. Almost fall off the bed. Good. And like every girl on this show, Jules, it's like, you have nothing to worry about. Oh, wow. I will not become possessive of you at all,

not even this very weekend or even tomorrow. I will not. Yeah. So everybody goes to bed and I guess they hook up. And then in the morning, Trixie's done with the season. So now she's just making vowel sounds. She's like, yeah. They're all making breakfast and stuff. And I said, Danielle is helping Lindsay with her strap. I don't even know. I don't even know what that means. They're all making breakfast and stuff and I said Danielle is helping Lindsey with her strap. I don't even know I don't even know what that means They're bathing suit. They're all like getting ready for poo day

Yeah, and they're talking about last night and everything and you know Lindsey's like I know There's like I'm just like you hear for Hannah like I'm just being a shoulder-burner Cry on and just like let those tears activate me, cause you don't wanna leave me activated. And Danielle's like, but what about the coral stuff? Cause that stuff is brought up too. It's like, what coral's though?

I mean, oh, you making up with coral? Like, I'm not bothered by that. Yeah, like you guys kinda do that sometimes. Like, although Steven's coming tomorrow and I have this insane, amazing boyfriend, and that is my Which is good. I was glad that she didn't have a fit at Danielle because Lindsay Lindsay broke girl code first by hooking up after yeah, so I'm glad that

I was gonna say yeah, I was gonna say well first of all she can't get mad at Danielle right now because she needs an ally But second of all her saying well, that's what you guys do. We every now and then. So it's like no big deal. I'm like, well, then isn't it worse that then you start doing that with Carl? Then aren't you actually more of the like, Danielle's in a position where Danielle's feeling bad, but do you be feeling bad, Lindsay? I think she did at the beginning. I don't know so much has happened on this show. It's really hard for her back, but it's like she's been pretty cool about it. Yeah, it's like arguing over one of those Snicker bars,

like the king size Snicker bars, and you're like, this is my Snicker bar. No, it's my Snicker bar. And then you realize that Snicker bars actually put like just two Snicker bars in the wrap and you both can have one individually. And you're like, oh, okay, that's cool. It's like fighting over a dumb dumb at a doctor's office.

It's like, there's a bowl of them, okay. Literally everybody can have the dumb dumb. Yeah, yeah. So it looks like wow, there's nothing better than grilling on Labor Day or whatever this is, Memorial Day Labor Day, who knows? I work. So the point is I'm going home for a week,

and I want to come with me and she's like, oh my God, I love that. Whoa. Can't wait to go to Minnesota and see lakes and lakes. Yeah, ratchet. Then Kyle, Kyle's like, uh, Amanda, your coffee is currently from this morning. And she's calling your curdling and they're like, good one, Amanda. So, um, who's Justin?

I don't know. I wrote Justin. I'm serious. Where are we all just hanging out outside? It's so beautiful out here. And Amanda's like, we can't even have one nice family meal, Kyle. Like we're all so sensitive.

Poor shadow. That's a man. Also says Amanda, who has spent most of the season yelling at Kyle. So then, then Kyle's having a conversation with the car all outside. Amanda also says Amanda who has spent most of the season yelling at Kyle. So then then Kyle's having a conversation with Carl outside. By the way, there was like so many scenes happening in this final episode. I took me forever to get through it to write it out the notes. And Kyle's talking with Carl and Carl's like, oh, so basically,

at this point, I'm like basically the biggest friggin hoe in the history of this house. Oh, I mean, like I woke basically the biggest freaking hoe in the history of this house. Oh, oh, welcome in hurting I'm owning and she's like we made out it was sweet Yeah, that's I that's what I feel so bad for Amanda that's why she was probably so triggered today because she had to wake up at the middle of the night and here Oh Oh The way Oh, oh, great. By the way, it looks great. For a lot more, more, more, a lot of the jugular.

So Carl is, Carl is like victim-moting. You know, he's like, huh, after my summer, getting shit on my female, it was really nice to have that moment with Jules. Like, look, I think there should have the three, some with Jules and Danielle, because like the only one I haven't been I'm so sick of Carl saying after summer, what Ronnie? Juggler. Because he said it. I literally said it. It was the funniest shit of Carl in skinny white pants. Shirtless with a sweatshirt dripped around his shoulders.

Juggling oranges and going, oh, the juggler. It's like it was so Carl. Juggler. Juggler. So, um, what was I saying about, oh yeah, Carl. First of all, he talked about him saying, oh my summer getting shit on by females. How many summers has he ruined? How many women's lives has he ruined with his like false tales?

Oh, nobody shit on him this summer either. He's shit on the girls. Like, he was a total asshole. The Lindsay now it's going to be a total asshole. The jewels like girls like he was a total asshole the Lindsay now It's gonna be a total asshole the jewels like nobody you were a total asshole the Sarah too He's acting like a victim in the Sarah thing. He's ridiculous. Oh It's so Carl. Yeah, so yeah, so Amanda's like you know what Kyle? We should go on the closet come on little guy I was like what and so they're fucking in the closet and then the editors are like one minute later Yeah, I needed that Amanda

So Paige is Paige is gonna be throwing a bachelor of party for Amanda She's like, you know the fact that she's been engaged for over a year and never really talks about it is Weird but as her best friend. It's my obligation to throw an amazing batch of party. It only cost $10. That's right. I know how to save money like a subscribe. Thanks. So the girls can all clamped up for bachelor at party night and go out and the guys are like, yeah, the girls are gone and Carl's like, oh guys, can I say something tonight? It's not to celebrate this guy. Oh this guy. Oh this guy You also missed that Carl actually said right before all the girls left

Carl goes, uh You girls look amazing He really said it you girls look amazing Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud.

From the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. It's commercial. So the girls get to this restaurant and of course page plan to this because this is the most like age girl. This is like the most girl bachelor at party. We need some place with bunnies. I need some place with ceramic bunnies to hold silverware.

So wherever that can happen. It's gotta be a secret garden. And guys have a special surprise. In lieu of penis straws, I all got us extra large ruffles we can wear around our neck and sleeves. Oh, so yeah, restaurants and bunnies and flowers. So the winners like we have a froze day coming out and Chulskas, did you say frozen? She did say frozen. Okay, you're officially fired from this so far. Are you even? So Amanda's talking about her venue and she's like, yeah, we really like our venue. Like,

it's already decorated. It has really cool wallpaper and really cool light fixtures and like the faucets in the bathroom are like pretty cool and like I don't know if you've seen a bar that has exposed nails but they're kind of on the cutting edge of that trend right now And it's like oh yeah, so this is when you already told us about it. It's like um can I finish? That would all be good and pages like you're gonna make me cry. It's like, oh my god, I'm crying Kyle. No, I'm crying. No, I'm crying. No, I am. And then I got about the wallpaper yet. Did I tell you about the wallpaper? Yeah, you just said it. Let me finish. I'm getting there. about the light fixtures. You need shut all me. I'm a. I'm kind of old. So. And Lindsay's just staring at them while they cry at each other

like these fucking bitches. You know, I was a murder them. Like if she had a lighter right now, they'd be on fire. And this space is also fully like the color of a lemon. I mean, she is just just yellow. She has prived up her face for this occasion and I don't think she's I think she's upset that no one's complimented her for it. She was not prepared for like girl lighting. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yeah, thanks to Hannah and Luke. Yeah, that was a past aggressive moment.

Then Hannah's like, oh, did someone say Luke, can I give you guys an update about me and Luke? No, great. Okay, I'll take that as a yes. All right, here's the news. Yes, we go to Minnesota and I'm'm gonna go. Also, he wants to know if he can use one of his Dunkin' Dona punches on me. So, free doughnut in Minnesota for me. And I'm at his so mad saying, uh, ceramic bunnies mean nothing to anybody anymore. So then back with the guy at sleep is telling Carl that Hannah's gonna go to Minnesota with him.

And Carl's like, oh, you haven't even had socks all over your dick. Like, you're gonna banger in Minnesota. Is that just like your thing? Like, is that you roll? It's like it's like the most like crazy thing to bang someone in Minnesota. Yeah, it's also just so funny being older and seeing like how much morals change over the years. They're like, what? You're gonna introduce you to your family before you fucked her casually? That is insane. I mean, you're gonna get married

before you've been pregnant? What the hell is happening to you people? To be fair, doing any casual activity with someone before you've had sex with them is mind-blowing to Carl. It's like, what? You're gonna, huh, you're gonna go to Home Depot before you even had sex with her. What? So Hannah is back with the girls.

Hannah's like, well, I guess Minnesota is gonna teach us like if like real fast if we're meant to be together. And Paige is like, I'm sorry, but when you meet the family, you're dating. So that's happening. That's happening. That's happening. That's happening. Lindsay, you're still much older than us. And Hannah, that's happening. Her like weird, long, extremely long fingers. She does do that in your face. Like, it's happening. She's like pushing something down always when she gets really mad. She's like she's pushing down Like something into a vacuum tube like a piece of like a piece of mail that has to go into vacuum tube to go to a different part of the company That's what she's doing

So Hannah's like I'm surprised I'm getting pressed back like I would like my friends to be supportive of her Yeah, cuz Amanda's like, um, are you guys gonna get married before me? I'm probably yes, actually, that's great. Luke already picked out a venue. It's basically upon that a bear comes to every now and then. The bear who knows the coyote. Some of them, he's like, well, cheers Amanda on finding a venue. I have said venue 10 times this season. So I feel like I'm responsible for you finding a venue because I said venue a lot. So venue also thank good. There's finally a date in a venue.

Which thank you. You're welcome Amanda. You're welcome. Guys, the eating is not over. We have another surprise, Lindsay. Here's a wheelchair that you can ride into, Shady Pines. There you go, old lady. So it's a party bus. So they dance around them. And of course, the obligatory cop. Now listen, I don't know if y'all Hampton's is so classy

that you just can't have regular strippers, but who was this stripper? Where'd that stripper come from? You guys don't have hotters, no thanks stripper. I hope you're not. He was from Nassau County. Okay. That guy was from Nassau County. That was not a Hampton strip. Well, actually, I think for good reason, I think a Hampton stripper is probably like a 65 year old gay man who like like during the day, like works at the gourmet store and the evening he strips and by strips, he shows up in a light sweater with a martini and serves everyone. Yeah, he's like don't touch the polo ladies hands off the polo.

Yeah, the stripper comes on and it's awkward and he's basically like eating a mad ad over her jeans and stuff. Yeah, and he's got like that sculpted Long Island beard and everything. So, uh, then, uh, so back at the house, Carl's like, oh, cookie, uh, we have some plans for tonight. Oh, and Carl's like, great, I just have to yearnay first and he just goes and pees off the balcony. Yeah, he's like, oh, God, a stripper man, God, a stripper. It's like ding dong strippers here. So this lady comes in, this middle age lady and say,

hi, I'm Marcy. And everyone's just staring at her like, oh my God, fucking Carl. Of course, Carl would get a stripper named Marcy. But in terms of that, she's a tarot card reader. It was a little bit of a prank. But it was sad that we all kind of believed for a moment that this was a stripper that that Carl hired

And I like that Carl didn't reveal that until it was in front of the psychic like geez Where did this the lady? He's like guys this guy's engaged. She's not a stripper dude. They're like, oh, thank God Jesus Christ Jordan were there he'd be like, well, I actually find it to be very attractive. I would love to introduce her to Sherry Verroy. She reminds me of that time when I had a rapturous love affair with Sally Shrothers. She generally read my fortune. She read my anus because she was in there with her face. Um, so Marcy's like, I'm a psychic and this is my assistant who who's gonna play the invisible violin behind me the whole time for no reason

Did you notice that they show him and he's like holding a glass of champagne and he's like Yeah, I was like is this guy supposed to be sort of like a security for her I didn't know what he was doing. I think it's like her son, but he's in trouble for parting too much So she's like you're coming with me a little fucker Yeah, I think it's like for a son, but he's in trouble for parting too much. So she's like, you're coming with me a little fucker. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, going to game stop afterwards. Yeah, so Samaritan's like, well, okay, so neither of you have no idea what you're getting into, right? Okay, I'm gonna pull up some cars. Everyone know what this card is all. It's the juggler, right? No, this star. This is called, okay, let's see.

All right, so you and Kyle, you and Amanda, you don't know what you're getting into. So, and you guys are a lot different. Some would say you're totally, totally incompatible. It's amazing that you guys are in a relationship. You have no respect for each other and you're making things worse by working with each other. So maybe focus on the things where you're really alike. Where are you and Amanda really alike? You'd like the same kind of yogurt like

Staplers what's what's going on here? Yeah, it's like well She's totally the kind of girl that you're supposed to marry so thanks good job lady Yeah, and then Luke's like hey, I'm Luke and she and he picks a car the star This is card and she's like whoa. Well, I'm Luke and he picks a car the star. This is card and she's like, whoa, well, I can tell you this. It works out for you. You got weird magical abilities. So this is just a reminder that being hot gets you real far in life,

white guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, shit works out for you, huh? And he goes, yeah, usually does. Yeah, you have like shit works out for you, huh? And he goes, yeah, you usually does. Yeah, you have weird magical abilities And then Carl fist bump Luke like yeah bro. Yeah, let's get some of that onto my fists. Thanks That Luke goes. Yeah, I put that on my faith

Okay So then it's a total Jesus and not the fact that you're like a six foot something hot ass white model guy Okay, yeah exactly like a six foot something hot ass white model guy. Okay. Yeah, exactly. I like Marce's advice for Luke is just so hilarious. As if he doesn't do this already, he's like, listen, okay, when you're thinking, I don't know what to do. I don't know how I'm gonna work this out.

Just remember, things break out for me. It's just like literally like remember white privilege. I know I was gonna say it's not magic. It's privilege. Okay. So Carl's like, uh, we should have gotten strippers, bro. Even the, even the lady's kissing Luke's ass, you know. So then the, we switched back to the bus where the girls are like parting and having a great time. And then back to the guys like sitting around with this lady. And Carl gets the star car as well. But of course, it doesn't go as well for

him. He gets the same card, but not the same reading at all. So he pulls the star and he goes, wow, boobies, you look great by the way, star. She's hot. She's the lady's literally checking out the fuck the The ladies like, we're not going to be objectifying the ladies on the cards. Okay. Wow, just been getting shit on by all the women this summer. First it's first, you know, it's Lindsey and then Sarah and

then Jules and Danielle and Tarot card lady and now the star card. Wow, it's just been a tough summer for me, you know. Yeah, I thought the star card was there to be, and I was told not to jack the fire. Just getting shit on. Just going too fast, you know, like more life, more life star. So yes, I think it was actually like a slightly different star card.

I thought I had different color scheme, but I could be wrong. There's only one star card and Tarot cards. I know because I used to read Tarot cards in high school to make my name. I knew you're gonna say something like that. Well, call got the star. I was a hustler. Okay, I had 10 jobs. Listen, you can't spell a car without two of the letters from star. Am I right? Am I right? Or card?

Three letters from card. Well, one letter from card and the all comes from life more life So yeah, he's like well he starts crying because she says so opposite of star so same card loser reading your loser You got the same card as Luke, but you're a loser You got to send card is Luke but you're a loser. Since I keep got potential, but you're not living up to it. And he of a chat summer like oh there's plenty. I'm in like Sarah and then like Working like that's been hard. I'm like I get through it by numbing myself with alcohol I'm like, we'll stop acting like such a victim. That's what alcohol is there for how else are we supposed to use it for?

He just loves indulging in those moments. Ah, I'm in pain, I'm hurt, I'm damaged, I need someone to fix me, I'm just going to fix me, I'm self-medicating, I'm self-medicating, I'm Carl. Second, the season finale, and I need to make sure that I'm still going to be getting latent bars for the rest of the off season, so I'm going to make myself the biggest crying victim that I can, so I can just mass. Right. The star. So the girls come home and Lucas singing a song called No Kiss Fingerbang in something like that. Yeah. Well first, well first, he's riffing with Carl

on something that goes, liquor, pick her. Maybe that was like the verse because then the chorus was Kiss finger bang it was a no I Think oh, I wrote no kiss finger bang because they didn't kiss Like they could only they could not I don't know it's a very complex musical is what I'm telling it's it's it's up there with santa I mean just you have to really be at a level of proficiency with music to really execute it. This really needs Randy Batinkin. Okay.

Into the vagina we go we go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week.

I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. to the next week. I'm going to go to the next week. I'm going night and Luke says good. And Amanda's like, Luke, give this no information anytime he asks him anything. And he's like, well, I was in the middle of playing a song, it's called, we can work it out by the Beatles. I'm doing my version, which is, it always worked out, it always works out for me. So girls, like, we've got a psychic in Daniel goes because that's a bachelor party. What am I missing here? Because, like, uh, let's just stand pretty sure we all shed a tear.

And Jules goes, ah! Are you kidding me? Are you fucking getting me from a building? So then Amanda's like, oh yeah, literally I pulled over my like hops and man and call goes, and it was a stripper. Just any, I mean, it's like any fog my face. And then it goes, he's thought pages are so hard and she's like, oh, it's fine. I'm not trying to talk It's fine. Well, I'm giving the highlights

Hannah you ruined my punchline Classic you just like tonight's dinner was all about you moving the minutes. So now I was talking about one Ma-ah God forbid we miss out on one of Amanda's classic, classic punchlines that we know her so well for. I know. For Amanda would be so hilarious if people weren't just always stepping on her punchlines.

Well, when she goes, yeah, it was about you moving in the midst of the music went. That was it. They're like, can we get one little trumpet in their place it's like okay so what the psychic after saying girl's like oh a lot and it goes anyway she's like I'm ignoring you and I'm in she puts her like hand up like this and look as like please don't talk to me with your hand If you're gonna talk to me talk to me with the hot dish like any respectable person, okay?

Carls like this is getting awkward and the man is like long is very Exhausting when we ask you a question and you just say like whatever I never mind. Oh, it's between me and this person Well, then stop asking questions that are none of your goddamn business Yes, I'm nothing nosy. So Luke, you know, her whole issue is that she feels like everyone had an opinion on her and Kyle. And she feels like that when she talks about other people or ask questions, she gets pushed back and she feels it's not fair.

That's what it all about boils down to. So Luke is like, Leeson, I'm just saying we had a great conversation. Okay, here's the long and short of it. Carl is not using all his potential, which is pretty sad, because he doesn't really have much to begin with. And I'm attractive and things will work out for me. Like this conversation,

everyone's gonna be on my side, so good luck. And she goes, well, well, I'm about to marry that man. And so I'd like to know what he cried about. And he goes, oh, that's amazing. I think it's the first part of your sentence is what he cried about and he goes, oh, that's amazing. I think it's the first part of your sentence is what he cried about. And what about to marry that man?

Oh, I've got a piss. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, Kyle. Kyle's not peeing on the ceiling fan. It's getting everywhere. Yeah, it's like you're moving further and further away from things you're actually supposed to pee on. Garall, I'm your child. So Luke pulls out his guitar and he's like you're moving further and further away from things you're actually supposed to pee on Garall on your child. So Luke pulls out his guitar and he's like fine

I'll tell you what we cried about and he's like he is what we oh his Kyle did that Yeah, he's like he is what we cried about He's like pissing in the hole of the guitar uh And Amanda just storms out she's like I hate him so much. And then she just like, they're for some big long like paper mache thing and they can. I don't know what it is, but there's a big long thing in the kitchen and she takes it and she just slams it on the island. And hitting the refrigerator. Still triggered. It was very triggering. And she's like, I'm

just so damn turning down everything. Oh, there. I'm turning down every single conversation. And when she, I like when she cries, because her upper mouth doesn't move. Just like her bottom lip moves a little. And she's like, oh, every question we ask is like, that's what made me in the cycle. Oh, it's between me, man. Tonight's about me.

It's not about Lou. Come on, well, you have a really great way of making it about Lou, Amanda, because you're the only one who's made it about Lou. Come on, let's spin it about you for four years. I know. Go back to Minnesota, bro. Okay, that sounds great.

I would love to do that. Thanks so much for the recommendation. Okay, let me leave with this song The coyote And the bear living at a lake. I want to there. Oh, I rhymed. I finally rhyme my orchestra's over So in the other room, you know, we can say a lot about Kyle is a boyfriend and we do but Kyle does always stand up for Amanda no matter matter what is going on. And it's obnoxious. It makes me crazy. But he is a good boyfriend in that way because he's like,

oh, I know. Is it when you ask a question, you're like, it's between me and Hannah. That's what she's upset about. He's like, whatever. So, Carl's like, let's just go outside, bro. I'll just go outside. So looks outside. Look. StarCard. StarCard calling. We all got to got side reach my potential, okay, bro. Okay Looks like why does everybody got a piss all over everyone's dream man I wasn't sure was he talking about like was he making a super Minnesota reference of like people have streams of like the little fish And then then someone goes and pisses in it or is he talking about like guys all peeing together and like crossing streams like Ghostbusters. Yeah, that's how I took it. And then I was like, is he saying

dream? But no, he was saying stream right here. Stream. Well, a stream is a dream for Luke. That's true. Oh, last time I had such an amazing stream. Yeah. You know, I knew I was good friends with Carol when we when we craft streams. Oh, Hannah, she's my stream girl. And then so then he's like, yeah, why is everyone have to piece on my stream? And Carlos, oh, welcome to the house, bro. This guy right here, hey, guess who's dreams and pissed on the most? My female is awesome. I'm a long this guy.

You're looking at him more life. So upstairs, the girls are talking and Amanda is like, I'm so done with it. Like you just and they're just like, I think what happened is it was a build up, build up, build up, build up, and then this was your explosion. Oh, no shit Sherlock. Dr. Phil Lonever. I know, Beijing, Beijing's segment of Freud. We found you, we found your legacy. Do you want to feel better? You should yell at Lindsay.

Feels great. Colorist bit bitch. I think what happened tonight was that she was angry and so she expressed it. It's like really? Right. Yeah. So then,

so then, Danielle, Danielle's like, Oh, guys, listen, I did not take three transfers in the L.I. Double R to not have a dance party. Dance party. Come on, dance party. And it's just like Lindsey, Danielle and Carl having a very sad awkward,

blanky dance party in the living room. And Jules is so mad and so she goes to the other girls in the room and say, okay can someone tell me why Carl is fucking with Danielle? Like I'm literally down for having a threesome but if it's with Danielle I'd literally rather not have socks for an entire year. Like what did this come from? I mean I know she's jealous obviously because she likes Carl but where did this like extreme anti-denial sentiment come from with jewels. Geeze. Because she's Lindsay's friend I'm guessing.

So Luke and Hannah are talking and he's like well that was weird and that is like yeah Amanda has so much anger and it's like a little bit confusing. Yeah it's like a little weird that someone has that much anger but then doesn't let it out in tennis like what sort of monster is she? So then Amanda is passing out and with Kyle and saying Well, I think love from Warren Chowler and saying and he's like she's not a fortune teller She's a fucking tarot card reader Amanda Amanda The terror of saint what of the terror is saying? I mean, well, if that had been like the other way around, if Kyle said like what the

tariff card say, Kyle, you're not taking this seriously. I got a star card. It means a lot to me right now. You might not be ready for marriage, Kyle. So it's the next morning and Hannah wakes up and you know, Hannah's in Luke's bed and she's like, oh, I have whipped cream in my hair from the stripper. Oh, ratchet. I'm everybody's getting ready because today they're having a rave. They're last party of the year is going to be a rave.

And Danielle's like, I am so sore from dancing. Wow, who knew that pitbull could be so fun. And down to the kitchen, Luke said, I'm not gonna be fine with Amanda. I just get pissed when she acts like that. So she has a lot of misplaced anger. So So Jules comes down and Jules is so annoyed This is gonna be a long day She hates parties because no one ever talks to her at them. I'm not a playboy really. Yeah Parties are not not where she shines. So so everyone's cleaning up and there's like awkwardness in the kitchen because Luke is there in Amanda's there and pages like Amanda are you gonna apologize and Amanda like, should I do it now? I was going to do it by myself when we're alone, and I could sort of like ease into it with some discussion about like the wallpaper at the venue, and then be like, I'm by the way, I'm really sorry, you know, something like that. And Paige is like,

no, do it right now, do it right now. So she's like, um, Luke, I did want to say I'm sorry, but like my point was like, you know, I was asking stuff and then you know, we're like not telling me So she just repeats herself and he's like, oh, okay. Well, you know, sometimes we all you know get drunk or who cares? Whatever. Yes, you know, you know, we all have a point where we free gotten kind of lose our shit a little bit I get it is like that time when I went into a store and I was like, Hey, can I just get this for free? And they're like, no, sir, you have to pay for it. And I was like, no, but things kind of work out for me. And they're like, no, but you still have to pay. And I was like, really, really? And I was like, wow, I was really out of hand, but they gave it to me anyway.

So he's like, I don't take her apology seriously at all. She's to a mature to apologize. Let's be serious. He's like, I don't take her apology seriously at all. She's to a matured to apologize. Let's be serious. He's like, fuck off. So the party prep later, Kyle's like, got a big jealous shot. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I just want to circle back to one thing that I was thinking about as you were just talking right now. I understand being frustrated when someone is like, when you're trying to engage with someone and they just kind of like dismiss you or whatever. But in that case, Amanda came back and was like, how's your night?

And Luke was like, it was cool or whatever. And then she was like, um, fine. You're not going to tell me anything anyway. I'm like, you didn't really ask in a substantive question. That was like, you know, that was like a general question for the room. And then you attacked him immediately. So like, you're getting all mad. It's the same thing with Paige.

She's like ready to yell at Luke and he didn't give her an opportunity. So she just yelled at him anyway. Yeah. So Carl comes in. He's like, oh, don't yell at me. I'm going to pick up booze and other supplies. That's it. It was new podcast.

That's how Carl says he's with at the moment. He's like, we're gonna move. Who's another supply? It's by Carl Radke. Get it on Apple Music. Yeah, someone in the car, he's like, Danielle. One of my first hustles with you. It was Chela. And remember, we had an hooked up yacht. And she's like, yeah, remember how you thought I was like about 15 years ago. But like, when did Coachella jump to Shark?

It's like the moment this conversation happened. Oh, one of my first festivals was you, Coachella. Yeah, it's been quite a year for Coachella. The entire Bachelor of Paradise was based off that year of Coachella. I mean, it was huge. So, Carl... I like to call it, Carl Shullough.

I'm gonna call it, Carl Shullough. More life, more life. Look, great, I like Coach call it Carl Challa More life well, I look great. I like her. She'll look great So Carl's like yeah my summer with females has been rough has been rough And he's like you know, Joel's really fun and Laugh Abe and whatever you know, but like I've got to make up with you Seriously seriously like wow like I wonder why you have have a hard time with women because you say such bullshit lines all the time every episode Let me just rest my foot here on the glove compartment Yeah, yeah, we're all buying it Daniel So then tools is fun. Got balloons with Lindsay with a helium machine and she's saying,

look, it's me now, I haven't been here. Boy, someone's just like, I haven't changed the bat. I was like, I was like, I was like, and Hannah's like, I got hoops. I got hoops. You know what she's had that hoop all summer long? And she's like walked out the door every single day, be like, I got hoops, I got hoops. You know she's had that hoop all summer long and she's like walked out the door every single day

be like, I got hoops. Like, okay Hannah, we get it. Fine, fine, we will acknowledge her hoop, okay, it's been a summer. It's been a summer. Should we set the cooler up here for Functray? Everybody's this good Functray? Oh, we got some booze in the supplies.

So we can set up here for some call-sway. Call-sway, anyone? No. I'm just trying to live up to my potential, which I think that part of it is, We got some booze in the supplies so we can set up here for some call sway call sway anyone No, I'm just trying to live up to my potential, which I think that part of it is thanks for I think I'm really good at that So yeah, so Steven arrives that hair. I mean Steven's hair. Just Steven you're trying too hard Okay, stop flat ironing your crazy conductor hair and just the normal person. Okay, he's the conductor here Doesn't he look what he looked like. He's like a conductor. I don't know.

I can't wait to share. This guy, I find this guy to be really, I don't wanna say douchey. He's actually not that douchey. He's just... Inauthentic. That's what I said. I don't know what I have to say.

I am horrified to announce that I discovered about two weeks ago that like I was following him on Instagram. I didn't, I liked it even no. I was, I was basically, I mean, I remember when I followed, I followed him like two years ago because he followed me and his whole bio was like club promoter at TOW or something like that. And I think I had this mindset like, ooh, a club promoter at TOW or something like that. And I think I had this mindset like, ooh, a club promoter wants to follow me. I'm going to follow them back because maybe I can get into a club. So then I was just like following him and I was always like, who is this person,

whatever, I'm not going to unfollow because who cares. But then like a week ago, a week or two weeks ago, I realized, oh, that's Steven. That's Lindsey Steven because I saw Lindsey was on his Instagram and it was like world's colliding and it was too much for me to deal with. So I actually unfollowed. And I also found out he had a, I look, of course, the first thing I did was see like, is he still following me? And he was and I was like, wait, I'm following this guy. He's not even following me. You know, that's so stupid social media mind-fucking-you. Yeah, that is so, that is so clever promoter at towel by the way to do that. Yeah, and I feel like an idiot

for like actually caring to get into Tal, which I still never been to and all that. Yeah, so I went to a Christmas party there, whatever, who cares, a stupid. So Lindsay's like, oh, and it wasn't my Christmas party, it was someone else's work party. Thank you, glad you guys joined me for this story. So Lindsay's like, on the scene,

and it was the best guy I've dated. And 20 years. So she's all happy. I love how you made her sound like a, like a shopping cart coming to a stop. She made that sound. You didn't notice. She's like, 20 years. It's like the exact sound.

Like when you're in the grocery store and you're like looking for a specific thing and you're going by the aisles and you see it with a corner of your eye and like stop and you just rubble your card around. So Kyle goes up to Carl's room and Kyle's like, oh hey, you know, I know we're about to get drunk as fuck. So I wanted to have a super serious talk with you right now, all right? Because that card bit reader, she hit on something deep, man. Oh, was when she told me to stop touching the nipples of the card.

I was like, cards, so right by the way, so that was hard. Yeah. But you know, the cards have been treating me so roughly this all summer. So it calls like, listen, man, I love you. You're one of my best friends. And all I want is for us to be successful. I mean, it's got the Carl. I need sitting there in like a hoodie with like some sort

of tribal paint on his neck. I was like, yes, this is the height of professionalism right here. And he's like, oh, you ride, bro. You ride, bro. He's like, well, don't cry. I'm just saying, like, don't get wasted every five minutes because you're the face of the company.

And you know, I'm the other face, which is why I just pissed into a diet coke and a girl downstairs drinking on accidents. So listen, when you're firing on all cylinders, you're unstoppable theoretically because we never actually really seen you firing also. And we've seen you firing maybe like one cylinder, but theoretically you're unstoppable. And when you're partnering, probably you just sort of piss people off and rub people the wrong way, especially when you pee on them and yell at them. Oh wait, I think that's actually me. Hold on one second. Yeah. Yeah. Talk about myself. Yeah. Carry on. Carry on. So you're best week. You did 50% of the sales. And I was waiting to see if that was good or bad because

there are only like two people doing sales. He sold 10 cans. It was impressive. Yeah. So it's like, listen, next time we're going to come back here and celebrate the wins and of course, like, oh, looks like, oh, looks like, yeah, I think, oh, I promised I'm not going to let you down. I can't believe I'm crying again. Oh, I can't believe I won a whole season without my mom coming. And yeah, I still got to cry. Wow, wow, wow. So the girls are getting ready for that party. And Jules is like, I literally didn't bring shoes.

These flash and Carl goes to Dan, he only goes, oh my god, you look fucking unreal. Look right by the way. That's my way of saying that. I'm trying to live up to my potential using bigger words, you know, so Jules. Jules is talking to the girls and she's like, how do you think Carl's ride with Dan Galwaz? Because I have no fucking idea. Let's get in remind everyone this was a ride to the store to get like a actually, how

do you think that ride was? How do you think the ride was the story? Everyone knows that ride to the store beans. Everybody knows this. Carl's flirting tactic so Carl comes in and he's wearing like a ponytail wig like highlighter yellow. Yeah, it's like a very it's almost like a European kind of look it's like severe bangs etc and like a big casher. Yeah and they're all in babe because taking shots And Jules goes when Jules sees cautious.

I'm a a ba ba ba ba ba I'm like, well, I did not know you could cramp them

in a several times I'm obsessed. So they start taking shots and set party party party and then... DJ Harbour. DJ Harbour's there. DJ Harbour. Yeah, so his name is, it sounds like Harbour, like a Harbour, but it's spelled H-A-R-B-E-R. Wow! And now some Arun 5.

So Everett comes in. Everett's like, hey it's me, Everett. I was walking up that driveway, and the second I saw your eyes gleaming from the front door. I knew this was the place, I was meant to be. And then bombs started coming from the sky, I knew that I love what sent me free. And I said, you better run to that front don't get in that party cuz you don't have much time left You better grab that white claw because fuck the end of the day. It's only you and a claw and a dream and a hope for freedom You get to that white claw and you drink it Duh

So Lindsay sees him and she's like oh my god So Lindsay sees him and she's like, oh my God. So I'm, that's my ex-boyfriend, Herbert. It took a while, the wife of her best friend. Am I getting bored? And you have to be Carl's ex-girlfriend, which is ironic, but it's a lie. It's ironic. I got, please say the least, please.

And of course, Ever walks in with his like classic hottie you know fairfield county laugh he's like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh They're like, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, gosh, you do that. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, there are like 500 grandos that come onto the show and wait for that moment and none of them ever get their own special line or a zoom in and production said, you know what, her, we wanna give her a moment on the show. She was gonna give them another choice. I mean, that girl just was gonna yell it no matter what. Like she looked right up at the camera and there and yell as loud as she could

and had to shut everybody up first. I mean, it was like, she looked right up at the camera and there. And y'all is loud as she could and had to shut everybody up first. I mean, yeah, it was like, it was like an extra talking and the director liked it. So girls were like, oh, a whole of jewels. You look fantastic. And she's like, um, how's your lover boy tattoo car? I was like, oh, it's working out great. She was, oh, yeah, I did good. So Carl I have a question Not that so Carl

She does that here So did you and Jen yell hook up last night? No, we're not coming from. Come on, have a seat, let's talk about it. We're back home. We're back home. You're talking to Marcy? Why do you know so much?

What's happening here? Oh, she was, no, when you guys were getting booze, like I asked the girls and they didn't know, and they were like, maybe they're hooking up. I mean, I didn't say that, just the girls said that. I just want to know, I'm not being clingy or anything, but like, so. It's like trying to understand.

Like, many of your fucking business, how about that? How about he just told you last night, I don't want to have this conversation. And you said, yes. You have nothing to worry about, Carl. Yeah. So he has um, jewels, fun fact. I've had more sex with Daniel than y'all than anyone else in this house And she's like the only girl I've actually really had sex with so

I mean, I think we can all see I just use a little bit more of my potential right now Just trying to clarify this timeline and he's like oh well two weeks ago We're on our way to Montauk. And we made out as you're on my deck. So look, look, I love Danielle. All right, look, Danielle, if Danielle was here right now, she'd look great by the way, okay, because Danielle and I have dated for real for real. That's the difference. Oh, and it's like, um, this summer, I hooked up with my share of douche bags. There was Jordan and then there was Craig. And now Congrats Carl, you're on that list too.

I like that jewel says this is a revelation. I'm like, jewels, it's like this one's on you, jewels. I'm sorry, we're not feeling bad for you. You didn't fall into a trap here. You actively recruited a trap and then stepped into it. Also, why did you pour sweet Craig get lumped onto this douchebag list too? I mean, I know he's like gotten a heron douchebag in this because he's on Southern Charm.

But compared to like the guys on that show and on this show, I mean Craig is like an angel. I mean, so things to that one then. I mean, I guess he's sweeter sometimes than the rest of them, like he's hanging out with that group of boys. I guess he didn't text her back after she said she totally didn't want anything more out of it. Well, I was gonna text her back, but it was like really hard

because I had like a lot of text to do and I got just sort of scared and I was like, you know, I'm just gonna go punch my wall with a butter knife again and I hurt my other hand. So that's all. So Patience and Hannah are talking and Patience is like, what's that? So they talk about how Amanda is still being really weird with Hannah and Hannah is like knocking a lie like last night was a lot because like I love Amanda to death, but like

I felt supposed to be getting a summer that something's off with her So and page cuz yeah, I felt it, but I want you to talk about it cuz I see both sides I'm like okay, so she just said that she's sitting there talking shit about you to Amanda Why aren't you asking her not that you know, but she's like I'm gonna go get her And Hannah's like yeah, I want to nip this in the bud. I'm like up listen Spoiler alert is the last episode of the season that the bud has bloomed. Yeah. So who the hooping and then ever who looping and who their car

on ever have like row hugging to look. Oh, wow. So whatever, guess what? There was a tarot car reader. She was really hot. The car on Oh, man, so hot, but they, you know, it's been a rough summer for me with like the female cards and everything.

They're just like, are not cool. So anyway, the reader said that I have good stuff on the inside. So more life. Yeah, yeah. Last decade told me like I'm so talented and so gifted. Like I love that you leave the loser part out of it. He's like, yeah, a lot of sake told me like I'm so talented and so gifted like I love that you leave the loser part out of it He's like yeah, I'm so gifted and every because bro you didn't know that means like well I mean I was startled man like I knew I had some good stuff and he's like you've got a lot of good stuff

A lot of good stuff to kill like 98% but like that had a good stuff to kill. Like 98% but like that, 2% is like, at least in work, bro, because, you know what, Cara, you need to catch a small wind. And then once you catch a small wind, you're gonna catch a bigger wind. I think it's like a wind, not winds. It both makes sense.

What I do is I get a small wind, and a small wind, and a small wind, I work up the bigger winds, and a bigger win, and a bigger win. And then all of a sudden, I realize, why does so many wins around me? This is a scary time. And so I rule under the couch, and I'm going to hide out here until someone finds me. And then I take that grenade, I throw it out the wins, and it becomes a loss.

And I start all over, but it was worth it. It was worth it for the trauma and worth it for the memory. Yeah. He's like, uh, good to see you, man. I know the Slimzy stuff is really awkward and that cast still meant he going, Dan, I need to see what that bad brown. I'm zippin' So Jules is with Amanda and Amanda's friend from home Kate and they're basically having one of those conversations where they proclaim that things are better, which will hopefully

make things better because Jules is like, yeah, in the beginning, like, well, we just like didn't get along. And I'm like, yeah, I thought that like basically like Jules should have just like died in a burning building. And I actually told that to her face about great, but we love each other now. Yeah. And then they kiss and the man goes, oh no, I love you, but you're not in my clique. Ha ha.

So then outside Kyle is like spring. What is that helium that he's springing at himself? I don't. I don't think. At this point, I'm just assuming any steam with Kyle is like just your nation. Pretty much. It's like, it's like, it's like it's like a rated urine. That's what he's spraying at this point.

I think it's helium that he's spraying it everybody. And then Amanda and Hanon Page have their big talk. And Amanda goes, oh my God, is there's an intervention? And they're like, ha ha ha, is this about me? And Pate goes, no, yes, okay, I'll start. And I was like, I don't want any more passive aggressive moments. And Amanda's basically like, yeah, I just,

I feel like Hannah's had a lot of opinions about like Mike Wachemolli and like my relationship. And you know, it's like but then Hannah, like can't take my opinions when I offer them, cause I offer them in like a passive aggressive way and I don't know why she can't accept that. Yeah, and Hannah's like, oh Luke triggers you

and you're like, you're with Carl and others and another couple in the house and I think you don't like that because like the attention is shifted and like you're putting your weird energy onto us. Which I think was an interesting take on it. Like she's jealous that there's another couple on the show. I hadn't really thought of it like well I don't yeah I don't think that she's jealous that there's another couple but I do think I think that Amanda feels like I feel like maybe even a

man to Kyle feel like they get shit on a lot because they're a couple and it's from a high profile. So now there's an opportunity to be like, now see how you like it and accept that. I think that she feels like Hannah and Luke are getting some sort of like pass that she and Kyle don't get. That's why I think Hannah is like, yeah, but like Kyle literally cheated on you. So it's like it's not the same. It's not the same sort of situation with the couples, right? Like I think Amanda's thing like, hey Luke behave badly. And for some reason, like you're cool with that. And on top of that, you're mad at me for pointing that out. But then when it came to Kyle,

you literally, you like, you had all the opinions in the world, and I had to listen to them, otherwise I was being naive, and that's not cool. And that's why he was like, yeah, but Kyle actually cheated on you, whereas Luke and I were kind of figuring shit out. Yeah, and also I've said it again, but just because it's the season finale,

I've said it again, I've said it before I say it again. Amanda, the difference is you go cry every fucking weekend and make every weekend about Kyle cheating on you or Kyle maybe cheated on you. Or you heard a rumor that Kyle cheated on you don't wanna marry him. You know, no, no, no, no, no. You've been crying for four fucking years.

Hannah has not been walking around the house crying for four fucking years about her relationship to anybody who will listen. And so that's the difference, like I think is a viewer where I'm like, you're comparing like, you know, I don't know, that's apples to urine. And the thing is this is that I actually understand some of Amanda's annoyance for sure.

She's not like totally unmerited. Like it does get annoying if you have like a friend who's like, like, oh, I don't like him or, oh, you know what? I don't like that he's with girl. So I said we're just gonna be friends. He's just sitting there and you're listening, like, yeah, yeah, and then they go hook up and you're like, well, I don't like him or, oh, you know what? I don't like that he's a good girl, so I said we're just gonna be friends. You have to sit there and you're listening, like yeah, yeah, yeah, and then they go hook up, and you're like, well, what the fuck?

I understand that annoyance that comes, we talk about this a lot that happens on these shows all the time about how you have to sit and listen to that one friend, talk and talk and talk and talk, and then you give them advice, and they say they're gonna do it, or they say they trap you into conversation, talk about their big epiphany, and then they just do the advice and they said they're gonna do it and they, or they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, trap you into conversation and talk about their big epiphany and then they just do the same thing they always did

and it just is like after a while, you're like, okay, fine, then don't bother me with this shit anymore because I got stuff to do. So I understand the annoyance but I also think that Amanda's being a little, I, I think that your point is, is, is true. Both points are true and your point I think is a little bit more salient. Well, they basically make up.

Basically Amanda does this thing. Amanda does this thing where she doesn't ever admit that she's wrong. She just keeps saying what she's saying, but she says it in a different tone. She did it with Luke earlier where she's like, but all I was saying is that you never let us, you never tell us anything. It's like she'll say the same thing over and over but never say like this is why I'm wrong. Like she's still not wrong. She's just saying it in nicer way now, you know, and Amanda, so basically they're like who cares we love each other. Let's go get fucked up.

So then Kyle comes over with like a fire extinguisher and he like sprays them with the air-rated urine and he's Ah, and man, it's like it's not funny. My ears ringing. I can't hear now So then 10 yellow and then the reaction Carl and they start kissing and some guy goes whoa Probably DJ harbor fucking party of 40 year olds my god. I know and jewels Looks at the making out and give such a stank face like Like so angry that this could possibly even happen. Yeah, Jules is so mad and so Hannah comes over So here drink this fireball from the bottle as she starts to and a man to kick the bottle into her teeth Then we go to commercial and I saw a commercial that said that

Summer House is getting a secrets revealed next week. Now I know that part of that is because it's a pandemic. And so all these networks have to make sure that they're content last because they're not making any new content anytime soon. But I thought to give a little bit of a golf clap to Summer House for getting to the point where they now get a secret revealed special. That's like pretty major. Yeah. Yeah. They've done that. They finally have a made, they've

finally made it. They finally have a reunion and a secret revealed. Yeah. So Luke is, um, Luke is talking to Hannah. And of course they could you do me a favor right here? Give me a kiss right here. Uh, and Hannah's like, you know, they talk about their relationship. I don't care. You talk about it because I don't care. Yeah. I think it's like, well, can you do me a huge favor? Can I get a kiss? So Luke, he's like, you know, I really like where things are going with you and me. You know, they're going obviously in a really good place because, you know, things work out for me, sort of

official. But anyway, oh, my past is complicated. You know, even though things work out for me, sort of official. But anyway, oh, my past is complicated. Even though things work out for me, it's a complicated past. And remember that ring that I bought for that girl who punched me once? Well, I can't rid of it. So I'm a little heartbroken right now, thinking about coyotes and hot dishes and I don't know the more understanding you are with me more I like and appreciate that it says a lot about you you know it's like really it's it's really meaningful and then we just see Kyle behind them being and you're here and Kyle is paying and farting right into their conversation yeah well Lucas like trying to be have this like heartfelt moment and Hannah's like trying not to laugh. Yeah, but I love Luke. I love that Luke is saying like, the more of my shit that you take, the more I like you.

Wow, so romantic, Luke. So they make out and then we go over to Danielle and Lindsay and Danielle's like, Oh, I have kissed some people today. Talk about getting some tea, baby. Yeah. Danielle, the tree in the front yard does not count as a person. And when she goes, did you guess Steven? And she's like, no, she doesn't think I got that is hilarious.

That Danielle makes out with every single guy that Lindsay has made out with. That's true. And she is. Yeah. Thank God. So now Kyle is peeing off the balcony. Like, Kyle never stops peeing this entire episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is like, Kyle, we're just having fun. He's like, yeah, but like it's more depth than with Jules. So that I like.

It's like, what did Jules do? No, he's back to bashing it. Well, because Daniel is like, you're gonna hang out with Jules. Now he's like, no, no, you're more depth. I enjoy that. Like you can ride on a train and be cool with that. That's pretty cool.

And so Daniel's like, yeah, this is better than jewels, right? And they just started to make out. And that's like, also Carl is such a piece of shit talking about how more depth than with jewels. When the night before, he's the last like two episodes, he's been staying up until the middle of the night talking with jewels and talking about how it's great to have someone who's so chill like jewels. And I was like, yeah, this is a lot more depth, you know, like I love immediately.

Talk about PowerPoint. Yeah, throws her right under the bus. So then Joel season's like, they are literally making out. Like, why did I even kiss him yesterday? And crowd, crowd's like, oh geez, Karlin Danielle. And Danielle, he goes, Karlin Danielle. And Danielle, okay, Danielle's like, oh, geez, Carl and Danielle and Danielle. He goes, Carl and Danielle and Danielle. Okay, Danielle's wearing like flashing lights all over her hand and her hand. Can they see us?

Yeah, she like, get startled, and she's like, they can see me. So, um, the crowd's like, well, this was the best summer of all time. I just want to say cheers, and for the last time, let me resurrect this thing that no one likes me hearing me say. Send it! And that's pretty much it, everyone, fucks and the lights go out. Yeah, they're jumping the pool and all the lights go out. It's like the end of sliver. Yeah, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, ble He's a nice guy, we'll talk to you in the next time. Bye guys. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens,

Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.