Watch What Crappens - Summer House: The Mediocre Depression

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

We will be recapping all seven parts of Netflix' Tiger King on our Patreon feed, and will have video recaps available for six of those episodes on Crappens On Demand! Jordan leaves Summer House and no on is sad, but Carl brings major depression the next weekend to celebrate Lindsay at her Roaring 20's party. For the entire season of Netflix' Tiger King recaps with Crappens On Demand videos for epis 2-7, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome everybody. Today is summer house day. You can go find all of our Tiger King recaps which are being released every single day this week. Over on our Patreon Patreon.com, just go, you know what, search, watch what crap is on Patreon. You can also find a link to it on our website, watch what crap is.com. Normally you'll find links to all Liveshows. Right now, we are doing those from home. So next Friday, we are going to do a live show at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern, where we're going to do a pre-show first on Instagram Live, and then we're going to move over to our crap and some demand on Patreon, and we're going to do a live stream of our Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap, the first of the season. So go find all that good stuff over at our Patreon and buy shirts

and stuff over Crappin's merch and that's it for that. How are you doing today, B. Yeah. Just riding that summer house high because the show just cracks me up. Well good. Well then you're in for a treat because we're going to talk about it for about an hour. Well, good. Well then you're in for a treat because we're gonna talk about it for about an hour. Oh Good, I'm excited. So previously on summer house Carl tried to kick out jewels, which means that we enter this episode with jewels basically doing her thing going Are you joking right now? Are you joking? What the fuck, Carl? Carl's like, Jules, we don't need to shout, right?

We don't need it, Jules. Move. Yeah, I just, I don't want you in this house anymore, Jules. I don't want you in the house. And then Jordan walks up and is like, you don't want me in the house anymore. Are you joking me? Are you fucking joking me too?

We don't need this bullshit, all right? And then Kyle comes over and he is like, that weird construction hat with beers on the top and long straws coming down to your mouth. Yeah. Those were even sad in the 80s, guys. Okay, I was there. And this was just so sad.

Yeah, they were always sad. They were always sad. So Kyle comes over and he does that like fake holding Carl thing back. Yeah, he Carl comes over and he does that like fake holding Carl thing back. Yeah. He has to do all the time. We're like, bro, bro, bro, I'm just holding Carl, uh, Carl back. You said you such a, such a, such a glad, you guys, I mean, my god, we holding him back

from beating up jewels. Can we stop pretend, stop pretending that Carl is like some fucking MMA star? Yeah, some tough guy. I actually don't think that Kyle was holding Carl back. I think Kyle was just, was just in the process of falling over drunk and Carl was just some sort of support beam at that point. He just sees all that hair and just grabs at it, you know?

Yeah, so Carl is just yelling, he's like, go to the full go to the house. Go to the full go to the house. And then for some reason, it just cuts the Hannah playing tennis. Like we were joking about it last episode, but she actually was playing tennis. And they just cut to her playing tennis.

Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like totally Monica Sallasing. And I'm like, how are you playing tennis in the middle of this ridiculous rager where everyone is covered with grime? How did tennis break out? Because there is tennis pros invited Which becomes a plot point later?

So she's actually playing with tennis pros. Yeah, she's like It's like Kristen Dodie getting her hands slammed in up in an uber over and over again The card door of an uber So jules is telling She's by the way in a bikini on a tennis court full of goats, it. Okay. Yeah. That's, that's sort of like the, the caliber of this show. That's what happens, you know. So, so, yeah, so Jules is, is telling page what, what happened in everything. And Jules, like, you know, I tell Carl that sometimes I feel let that with,

with what's going on with the girls and Carl just goes I want you out of the house like seriously and like she's like sort of like She's sort of like you know venting because she's sort of rattle by this whole thing and then Luke just walks over Goes he guys look at Hannah look at Hannah And during it's like actually he has both of us to leave the house and I was right in the middle of getting my butt much by Mark Allenberger. What a time to drop that do so on me. I was just sexting with Joanna Cassidy and I was like show me your right tit and rub it too and then all of a sudden Carl starts yelling at me. Well, I just don't want to be a part of any drama or anything so Jules do whatever you want. I just won't come up anymore. That's

it. I've said it back to Hinge. So, he walks off and Amanda grabs Jules' face and she's like, we're not upset with you. It's just sometimes you're hard and I need you to be softer. So when I mush you and add salsa and lime to you that you're delicious liars is avocado I'm a human being Listen if I could make you into seven pieces and layer you into an gigantic cake for Kyle I would but I can't I can't help you lady avocado So tools is crying Man is like you're not getting kicked out of the house It's not about you're getting asked to leave It's not about you getting asked to leave.

It's about Jordan getting asked to leave until tomorrow, when we all decide that we're going to also ask you to leave. But that's the end. This is now. Listen, we're not going to ask you to leave because we're already planning for you to die in a burning building and not see you, okay? So that's just how you're gonna go.

And Carl's meanwhile is clapping at Carl he's like oh I want them gone. Grab the phone out. Go the fuck out. He's like simultaneously trying to fly and yell at the same time. Mmm fucking Carl. That's Carl you're not. I'm not boss of anybody okay. I don't know who died and made you showrunner, fucker. Yeah, why do you want them out?

They literally, their drama is so small compared to anything that you've ever caused every single year. So now Hannah and Austin are talking. They're back to sort of flirting. Oh, I think they're flirting, but we come in on Austin saying things like, I'm like, I got my own shit going on. I got my own shit going on, right?

Madison, this is insane. This is insane right now, Madison. Yeah, they're in a fight. And then Hannah has total like a drunk sweaty face. And she's like, I was just trying to show up in front of you. It's like, whatever. And then he leaves. And she goes, I'm so, oh, dude.

Oh, dude. Well, he leaves because Paige walks up. And Paige is like, I'm so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohfriends do you have? And Hannah goes, the limit does not exist. So I'm, well, Jules went up to Carl and said, what's up with everyone? Like, does everyone hate me? And then Carl was like, get the fuck out. And then Jordan and Jules yelled at Carl and then Carl was like, get out.

I'm just running around, you know, like the village gossip. And Hannah was like, so wait, Jordan is done. I'm gonna yell at Carl and I'm telling him. Yeah, so she walks up to Carl and she goes, why are you blowing shit up? And he goes, what do you mean? What do you mean, Jens? She's like, yeah, because of all that stuff,

you know, you're just like, you all said this stuff and Amanda is there now also. And they're like, we, like, we had a plan, Carl. We had a plan. I'm so, I'm done with them. I'm done with them. Mainly because Sarah's done with me. So I have to pay her forward so I'm done with them. I'm done with them mainly because Sarah's done with me. So I have to pay a forward. I'm done with them.

I'm done with them. Cut to sep in the kitchen and one of those stupid construction beer hat things. Just eating all the whipped cream. Yeah, just all of it. Yeah. So now page starts consoling because Jules is now crying in the bathroom. Like, understandably, I mean, she just had this guy yelling at her, like blindsided, like, saying no one likes you

and we all want you out of the house. That's like really hard to hear. And you're on TV, it's humiliating. So she's crying and Paige is consoling her in the bathroom. And then she's, she walks up to Danielle. I don't even understand what this is about. She just walks up to Danielle and goes, gosh, understand what this is about. He just walks up to Daniel and goes, Gorsh! I just found my phone. I'm forever grateful. I'll see you guys by and just leaves. Just like you're not staying. It's like forever grateful.

Yeah, we're out of whipped cream. Okay, I'll see you later. So just realize you guys are incredibly poor. So, gotta leave. Bye. I'm jules is crying in the closet with Paige. I'm just like, Gotta leave my like this breaks my heart. And so I will 100% stay tomorrow when we're all together for that meeting that we decided to have about voting you out of the house that we should let you live like 100% more when we get. So we can watch you squirm and then cry and then try really hard in outfits that I've already worn.

So it's gonna be fine. Yeah, I mean seeing you cry, that just like breaks my heart. And what also breaks my heart is that you probably paid $20 too much to cry in that outfit so That was like and subscribe below. Bye. So then Amanda and Carl and Hannah are talking and Amanda's like Jules is so naive come on Carl. It's like no you know you Jules did something to him. Yeah. And Hannah goes, yeah, dude, there's like two years difference from us.

Like she has to own her shit too. Like she didn't connect with us. I was like, okay. So basically you're just all cooked out of your brains right now. Because nobody is make, nobody is making any sense. Yeah. I'm exactly. So yeah.

So Hannah's like, yeah, she didn't connect with us. I mean, she's like, like, wait until she's young, but she's only two years below. So whatever. So then all of a sudden Luke interrupts And goes, so can we have fun now because I have this great new jam with Bada Kio Di that I thought I could with bath up People would really like it this party. Can we do that now? It's like quiet Luke. I always expect Amanda to have more sympathy Like I get that she's friends with Jordan, but she invited jewels here in the first place. She's like Responsible for her life. It's like when you save a baby for choking. You have to pay for their college It's like when you save a boyfriend from alcohol poisoning you have to marry him and take over his business No, so Amanda

So Amanda goes up to Jewels and Paige, who are now like upstairs or kind of bad, I think. And Amanda's like, since no one's having like, walk a moly, I just want to say, Hannah was like, listen, none of us have connected with Jewels. And I'm like, Hannah, she has fucking feelings, which is why I wanted to tell the sea right now

and make you feel sad. Yeah, that's so shitty and you're like there's not true the Uber Eats guy loves me And Amanda's like I'm like Hannah. She has feelings and she's like I can't believe that No one here is very helpful No, everyone is just like crushing her She's like I haven't even been able to tell the story about how my grandfather invented Chilean Cincinnati yet! So outside Jordan, Jordan has now gotten dressed. He's been during this time, he's been cutting to Jordan packing up and everything. So now he's finally walking out the door with his roll away and Carl comes bounding out the door and like, hey, hey by the way you look great by the way you look great by the way

it's a great look for you leaving house okay you don't even want to talk to me what what Jordan wow I'm done I am done Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life is waiting for a little FaceTime fucking on the way home so yeah I'm gonna have a little face time, fuck him on the way home. So I got to go, blah. Yeah, I'm gonna have a threesome with Burnett, Peter's and Donna Mannop after this. So looks like the joke's on you, because I'm the one who's gonna be partying

the most this summer. And then Carl's like, oh, you're done? Will me too? No, I'm done too. I'm done too. I'm done too. And he's just standing there in the middle of the driveway with his arms out.

He's like, oh, this. He's like, dude, dude, like arms like, like how could you do this? Carl is acting like he's not a victim. Like why are you being crazy right now Jordan, even though I just yelled at you and said you have to leave the house. Like, stupid Carl,

then he like has his arms out there, like you said, just open, and then he goes, all right. All right then. right, then. All right. I guess Pancakes for one. So then page is up for still just Jules is still serving.

She's like, well, I still have Lube in my eyes. So let's stable this. And I'm going to get the Lube out of my eye. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Kyle is downstairs being just drunk. And it's like every year I want to write Rajay meltdown city and Lindsay's not even

here. Fingert me that everyone finger me that. Hey, if anyone's wondering, I've just spent the past 20 minutes sitting in the pettings UK and I'm covered with animal feces. So who wants a hug? Party. So everybody's parting and dancing and keg standing. And then Amanda changes into her like angry tie die shirt.

She's like, I'm angry now with the boys. So I'm gonna wear my tie die now. I call this look Kyle. Kyle die. So Craig is talking to tools and he's like, what the just happened like I'm trying to make you laugh well look at this Did you look at it? It's my abs Like no honestly I appreciate that like I really really do I'm a guy was stuck in that big gerbil ball thing in the pool. Yeah, I was like I don't want to die

the wall is stuck in that big, gerbil ball thing in the pool. Yeah. I was like, I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Dude, a lot of the fuck just happened to Kyle. Someone cast his spell and put him in a circle of despair. How does he get out of that? I'm so confused. So then everybody's getting ready to go out

and Craig is staying with them. Everybody leaves. But Craig is staying and them. Everybody leaves. But Craig is staying and and. We're so cute. I love that Craig hung out that Craig which is like hanging out and it's like then they all go out to wherever they go out on these things and he's just like hanging out with them, you know, partying like dude just having a really good time, you know, just like trying to connect with people and you know be like some that way I can send a video to know me and be like, see,

this is what you're missing out with. I know you secretly still want to get back with me. No, me. So here I am in the Hamptons. No, me. He's getting ready with jewels and they're standing in front of the mirror together. And he's like, I really like I reflect in.

Look, that's it. Mary and married. Sometimes I wonder, am I the reflection? Is that me? I can't tell sometimes. What do you think, Jules? So then they get back home and Amanda's feeding drunk ass Kyle. And she's like, do you miss me, Kyle?

Oh, no, I really have to. I'm dressing right now, Kyle. And yeah, exactly. And just your Kyle, Kyle. And then Hannah gets into Luke's bed and Paige is walking around and she's, Paige and Amanda have this moment where Paige is walking around going, Amanda? Amanda? Amanda.

Paige? Amanda? Amanda? Paige? Amanda? And then Carole goes into look at Jules is bad and they have something up pop up on the screen. It's this Jules arrow. Not home.

Yeah. The post department really leans into that graphic for the next 25 minutes of the show. It's like every five minutes like, oh yeah, they're gonna get a sprite out of the fridge. And they just cut to the bed. Jewels, still not home to see Carl have a sprite. Ding. So, yeah, so Danielle is making herself a cocktail before bed.

And Carl is still looking for jewels, et cetera. And then we cut to Luke's room where the the band is just like creaking out of control as he and Hannah sort of get frisky. But not, because he was like, stop, I wanna fuck you and make out with ya, but we gotta just lay down. She's like, you're right, I was being ratchet. But how is this any more respectful?

I'm not believing this. I think there's a lot of erectile dysfunction going on on Bravo right now. There's a lot of non-working penises. And I think it's time we all had a discussion with ourselves and figured out what the hell is going on. Okay. Let's have that discussion. I just like the idea of Luke is trying to be respectful.

He doesn't want, he's like, you know, I don't want to hurt Hannah, but he's also like, I just like the idea of Luke is trying to be respectful. He doesn't want, he's like, you know, I don't want to hurt Hannah, but he's also like, listen, I want to be respectful to you. And I do want to fuck you, but I want to be respectful. I just, you know, like the phrase, I want to fuck you is sort of an aggressive phrase. And I just feel like, and I know, I'm not saying,

I'm not being approved. I know it's something people say, and it's like people say, and he did the moment not saying I'm not being approved. Like I know something people say and it's like people say any heat at the moment, but I also think it's kind of funny like to try to be respectful, but also to tell someone, I want to fuck you. So she's on my face at the same time. Right? Yeah, he's like, hey, how do you do it, Lee Bieber?

Yeah, they're gonna stick my, my stick my weiner in your soul bad Hey, isn't it nice weather today? You know, I'm so stupid up. I'm your lane Yeah, it's like oh, I'm still like I can love with my ex from three years ago And sometimes I just want to be out there in Minnesota I landed the lakes and looking at it nature and Thinking about the coyotes and all the good times in life and the simple things in life and oh, I also wanna fuck ya, yeah, yeah. Lando lakes.

So Danielle brings Carl a drink and he's like, oh, Jules is missing. Oh, we're Jules. And she's like, oh, maybe she's with Craig. Oh. And then Bates in her room with the manbush. She's like, I'm surprised Jules didn't try to fuck with Craig and the man is like is she home and then we see that graphic again.

Ding! Jules is bad. Not home. Not home. Carl, like Jules is missing. Jules is missing. Well, you know what? You're the one who said she should get out of the house.

Stop caring so much Carl. I think I'm basic but I know you love me anyway. My favorite beauty, Chixie Son, they think I'm basic but I know you love me anyway. So then Jules, ding, not here. Not whole. Yeah. So Hannah slinks back to her room at 10 a.m. and Paige is sitting there because Paige is feeling, you know, Paige is getting annoyed because she's being neglected by Hannah this

season. So Hannah slinks back and Paige is like, well know, Paige is getting annoyed because she's being neglected by Hannah the season So Hannah slinks back and Paige like, well look who it is. Did you fuck? Did you fuck in that outfit that you paid $35 too much for because I found it cheaper at the bargain bin behind dress barn? And then a man in Kyle are talking saying, how the feeling made learning Kyle I'm feeling like me learning something. Kyle. And then did you notice that Kyle pulls a car all this entire episode. He's like, you look great, babe. You look great. Hey, babe, you look great.

Great, babe. That looks really great. You look amazing today, babe. So then, yeah, but Kyle says it's been his best birthday that he's ever had with Amanda, probably because he got shit-faced and didn't have to talk with her the entire day. So then Paige, she's saying, she's like, no, I still feel bad for Jules. Like, I wonder if she's home. And then of course, cuts to Jules.

Still not home. Yeah, Amanda had a relationship to cry about this party as well. Like she always does. It just wasn't her own this time. It was like Jules and everybody else. Yeah, exactly. So Hannah's talking a page. And then we see, is this one we see her? Wait, Hannah's talking to you page about jewels and ding, not home. And Hannah's like, um, yeah, Luke was like, Oh, you invited some tennis pros to the party. And I was like, I didn't invite them. And he was like, oh, okay.

Yeah. And he's like jealous. And I kind of like it. He's this completed soul. He hasn't told this girlfriend about me. And I know it sucks, but I told her mom and I owned my shit because I'm not them jewels walks up the dry. It's like a long walk for jewels I'm not really

sure where she was well do they drop you off did you walk down the block were you behind the tree were you really with Greg what the hell well as someone who once was out the summer haul season two and was edited out of the show I can tell you about the logistics of the driveway. It's basically like this very long, long driveway and then production sets up a table outside of it and like you can't go buy it unless production allows you and like when I went, like I had to, like I was cued up

with some people and we had to sort of like stand there and wait and then finally like, okay, you can go. So then you have to walk down this long-ass driveway and then the summer house would like looms around the trees. And like, so I think I'm imagining that for whatever reason, whatever car she arrived in, they, because it was probably a PA's car, they didn't want it to be shown on camera,

so they probably stopped her at the top of that super long drive when it made her walk the whole way. And they probably did that also to make to that super long drive limit her walk the whole way and they probably did that Also to make it to really emphasize her walk up shame. Yeah, I mean my god Like poor thing so then Carl and Luke are talking in the kitchen and Carl's like oh, dude Like if you impact everything from yesterday like I don't even know where it to be going so Carl is like sober now, so he's Innocent Carl, you know, yeah from the shorts. So he's innocent car. You know, yeah, I'm from the shorts book where he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I love. I'm like, Carl, you can't even say, blah, blah, blah. So then, uh, Carl goes, you know, I've, I've hit a dead end with Sarah, and I've not spoke more there since yesterday. And at this point, it's over. I thought we had something a little more than that. Oh, fuck. Had my car. You had something more than that. You went out with her one time and she left you because you were such a jackass, okay? Yeah, and then you didn't even call her to go out the next week. Why would you think you had something deeper? Yeah, exactly. In fact, you postponed you postponed your initial hangout with her and the moment you do that in the early stages of dating you already have poison the water when you do something like that.

So you already ruined it. Also, don't try to make me feel bad because you haven't spoken to her since yesterday. That's like literally less than 24 hours ago is when you last spoke with her and you're like, I think as if she ghosted you, it's been like nine hours. So just relax. Oh, yeah, I've been spoke to her since this morning. I like it's over. Like shut up. Yeah, because she wasn't taking us call, remember? Yeah. She said she was in the camp, but then yeah, she wouldn't, she wouldn't pick up the phone. So then everyone's

gathering in the kitchen and jewels is just eating string cheese victimly victim victim machine. Yeah, she's yeah, exactly. As, as she deserves to, and so Amanda is like, so I woke up this morning and thought I heard Jordan in the house. Aw, and Jules' face just like, fuck you bitch, fuck you, you want me to die in a burning building? I'm just gonna eat this string cheese to show

that I am still here, and I am telling you, I'm going. Oh God, do not look ass Jules in that role, please. Oh my God, that was a strong role. Jewels will not be playing the role Jennifer Hudson and Jennifer Holiday played in Dream Girls' new. And I am telling you, I'm just like really disappointed. I'm like, almost the best thing you ever had, but I don't want to be as boastful as that.

No, no, no, no, no way. No way, are you fucking joking right now? Hey, where were you last night jewels? I'm just like, um, uh, did you have sex with Craig? I'm just like, yeah. I was like, whoa. Wow. Oh, fuck Carl. Fuck Carl, you don't get to ask these questions. Not now, no, I'm sorry, sir.

You just yelled at her and told her that she has to leave the house and now you're gonna be all nosy up in her business, like where was she? You didn't get to know where she is after you said that she has to leave the house. You lost that privilege, sir. I'm glad he did, though, because she just basically got to say,

yeah, totally had sex with someone on a, so with way higher ratings than ours. So, fuck you, Carl. I know. I was so proud of Jules. So, like, make the hop now or should I wait? Because my ass can move to South Carolina in two seconds. I was so proud of her.

I was like, good for you, Jules, banging like the guy who came in number two on the two Judgy Girls, you know, March Madness of Hot Men on Bravo. Good for you, Jules. Although I guess number one, right? So, you know, didn't Luke win that thing? I don't know. I don't understand how those things worked. I just saw a bunch of boys faces with numbers on them and I was like, hmm, I don't get it. All I gotta say is, I think that was the best way to handle the situation, sleep with the guy

that everyone now loves from the bigger show, the guy who's more famous. That's how you do it. So Jules was like, crack definitely made me feel better, but I still don't know where I stand with this group. So they have to clean up everything and basically get back to get back to town, but first, Jules pulls Hannah aside for a talk. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crack.

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Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Yeah. And she's talking about how Hannah, she's telling Jules that like she heard,

like Paige and Amanda were telling her that Hannah was saying that Jules hadn't connected with anyone and that Hannah was back in Jordan's side and all that. And Jules was like, I thought we were like, I thought we were like all friends. Like we just all go to a bar and like use Apple Pay together, like one big happy family. But like, I don't know, like what did I do to make everyone hate me so much?

Literally, Rick's my R. R. So she starts to sob. And Hannah's face during this whole thing is hilarious because she's just like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. She's still drunk. Let's face it.

She's still drunk for me yesterday. She's like, I'm trying to listen to what you're saying, but I'm also totally remembering when I beat those guys in tennis on the goat shit court. Oh my God, that was great. So she's like, I'm totally blindsided right now. Like I like to think Patreon Amanda have always helped my back, but like they're throwing me under the bus. Like that's not what best friends should do. Rat chat. So then in the kitchen, Hannah is talking to Amanda and she's like, um, can we meet in the kitchen just girls? Yeah, emergency girls meeting. So Hannah gathers with Paige and Amanda and says, and she's like, oh, so Jules just said that you guys just said that

I said that that that that Jules said that she hasn't connected with anyone. And I'm saying that I didn't, I don't know, like I just feel like really hurt right now. I feel really really hurt. And so Paige is like, um, did I say that Hannah said that you can't connect with people? No, I didn't say that. What I did say is that why go to saxophone avenue when you can just go to H&M? I'll be. Um, and then the producer is like, well, did you say that Paige? And she's like, um, I don't know. I might have said it, but I can't remember if I said it. It was probably a mad who said it. Amanda definitely said it.

And then we see a clip of Amanda saying it. It's like, Hannah was like, not a love skin, I'm doing my learn. Yeah, Hannah was the one who sort of created this this stupid little drama that's now unfolding over the next episode too. So now they have, now it is time for another house meeting and about jewels and Kyle's like, ah, this is super awkward. I'm like, well, that's because of

you were the one you started this by saying that one of them has to go. Yeah. And so he's like, I would just like to understand what was going on with you in Jordan. And she said, um, yes, I was mad that he yelled at me, but it was your birthday. And I just wanted to have a good time. So I let it go. And then I go up to Carl and then he's screaming at me that no one wants me here. And he's like, oh, listen, listen, you know what? I just like, I feel like you're disconnected from everyone there. That's it.

T-B-H. Just T-B-H. All right. T-B-H. Yeah. I just like I feel like you're disconnected from everyone there. That's it TBA just TBS all right TBA Yeah, like when I say By the way you look great tonight and like you don't even say thank you like wow that's that's a disconnect I'm sorry. I'm trying but it's a tough group, but like breaks me heart And like she puts one that one finger up like right under her tears like

I mean, it's like so sad to me that you guys think that And like oh No one's consoling her by the way like no one's like giving her a hug. They're just staring at her Yeah, well, I mean when you're problem with somebody is that they're causing a bunch of needless drama The last thing you want is to have to sit with them crying for an hour. But they did make her cry, so it's their fault. So Hannah's like, to me age, we're like family in this house, and you have to take time individually with people, because like quality time is important. So make more of an effort stupid.

Yeah, but what did she do? What did I just understand? Like, there wasn't, wasn't she trying to have quality time with people? I mean, didn't, isn't she in those cars also for three hours stuck with people in those cars? Like, isn't she trying to have that quality time and pages like, you know what? Everyone deserves a second chance. I'm like, why is, why is she a second chance? Did she, she didn't even blow her first chance? She was just like there.

I mean, listen, Carl's friend Amith, okay, because Carl brought Amith into the house, season two. Amith came in there and sat for a lump. The entire season did literally nothing except maybe throw a dinner, one episode. He kissed Lindsay oddly for one episode. He did nothing, he didn't talk to anyone.

He didn't say more than hello at the reunion. And there was never any talk about like, you're just not connecting with anyone on why are you here? There wasn't that wasn't even here, but suddenly jewels has to, has to like get the third degree from the house because of stupid Jordan. It's so ridiculous. I don't know why I'm so mad. This is like truly the stupidest thing to ever be mad about, but I'm, this is, this is my path. I don't know why I'm so mad and this is like truly the stupidest thing to ever be mad about but I'm this is this is my path Yeah, so they're like gonna give her a second chance for nothing like she didn't do anything wrong I agree also, but by the way also Carl goes, uh, you know what like Jordan you came in with him

And he was like a package of like who you are and I just you know I'm like who will need to give you another chance without Jordan. I'm like She did not come in with Jordan. They were not a package deal. He Jordan joined and started coming around like two or three episodes later So what what are they? I just it's ridiculous. I hate Carl Like, well, maybe I'll just place my anger like if she does what she says she's gonna do then maybe we have a fun summer out of us It's like not if you have anything to say about it now Welcome to the part where Carl takes ever the rest of the weekend being a complete fucking asshole for no reason.

I know. Carl is so Carl. Anyway. So now, they're all cleaning up, but they just, yeah, I know you're saying. So now they decide that they just give up on cleaning and they just leave so low cups and GP all over the place for these like faceless cleaning people aka the production assistants to deal with. So they had back to the city which means we got the classic trixie of like got my feeling so high so high. And then it switches because they're like okay but now we're

not in the Hamptons anymore. Trixie give us another new one. She's like if you like what you see you're better know about me. So then Hannah is like her own now CD all of Trixie's greatest hits in one segment. So then Hannah is shooting Luke they're in a store or something and he's got a backwards hat. And she's like, boy, why are you wearing a backwards hat? And he's like, because they read your tweet. And then we see a picture of her tweet and it says, do I like him? Or does he just wear the hat backwards? And then we go, it's like Tuesday and Lindsay walks into some sort of salon.

And all the ladies are like They all like they just like lose their mind as if like their long lost leader has returned And so Lindsay's like oh, I'm back to the grind I'm going to grind and I'm going to learn to looom Yeah, she's having some kind of party at this place that she does PR for and The producers like do you get perks for working with them? And she's like, I'm using I get hair laser removal from them and bone on. I'm followers. I'm trying to remember what that was.

Man used to do back waxing for our and ouring for Aura and they just did a lot of things for Aura so I just really like it here. So Hannah Strides have, Hannah walks up so oddly. What does that walk? She's probably thought she's going to an exploring place. This is the sort of fun to throw hatchets. She's like in a white suit thing and she's walking really slowly up the street. It's like she's making her own slow motion shot

Because it's not a slow motion shot, but she's like Just like I'm gonna make this glamorous no matter what now so much is like what a treatment Yeah, Hannah walks in and she's like um your kneecaps and we need to laser them. I'm like how did you even see hair on someone? Like, how was that the first thing that you saw? Clearly, Lindsay's been looking at Hannah's knee caps all summer long. And just like, watching the hair grow in, I just get so angry. Um, Hannah's like, I think they're cute and hairy. She has, um, yeah, I'm like, I sold this hair. My asshole hair is cute.

And that's why I get a Brazilian. Hamas like I think they're cute and hairy. She is yeah, well my asshole is hair my asshole hair is cute And that's why I get a Brazilian Then over in some Tweet part of town page in her parents at this like delicate restaurant that looks like it serves You know tea it's like tea time every hour, you know, and so pages with her parents and she starts like, sort of gossiping about her life with them. Her mom, by the way, I like her mom. Her mom sort of, to me, looks like an Italian hoda, you know? Like, the Italian version of hoda, which it to me is a huge compliment. So, she's talking about Perry and she's like, yeah, you know, like,

Perry asked me to move in, but like, I'm not really sure yet, because on the weekends, we just have like different ideas of fun. He likes to, you know, read books, and I like to be on a reality show. So we just have different ideas. And the mom's like, your weekend isn't even relaxing, honey, because you're just wasted the whole time. It's like, yeah, that's why me and Amanda stay in on Saturday because like, um, we like to relax. And like like I'm even hanging out with her more than Hana okay cuz she's hanging out with this new guy Luke so cut back to Lindsay and Hana and uh Lindsay's like this is how you shave your necabs like what kind of treatment is this you're just

saving them I yeah I don't know the laser attack looked miserable. She was like, oh my god. I just got like a little laser thing from China. And I'm afraid I also got a thing. You've probably seen them on Facebook, but you burn off like skin tags or age spots or whatever. And then there's one that you can like laser hair removal yourself. And you know, I was getting drunk at home alone and quarantine, like everybody else, I'm guessing,

and I bought all this shit on Facebook, and it came in the mail, but I'm like, what, how do I do this? Do I shave first, and then you laser, like you suck the shit out of yourself, right? I, I don't have the answers to that, but I just feel like, it looks like a stun gun. I can't wait. I just would, please don't taze yourself. that, but I just feel like it looks like a stun gun.

I can't wait. I just would please don't taze yourself. That's what I'm saying. Like, lasers should be handled by professionals. I thought lasers are not as safe. The idea is what you're saying is I should get the bathtub, make sure I'm a little drunk and. Yeah, yeah, and laser yourself.

I don't know. I think it's, I think DIY laser kits are a little scary. I would maybe like Not do that. I'm gonna burn the sit out of myself. I am gonna live a little. I'm gonna live a little by not Like aiming a little bit of a lot about lot. Yeah, like don't do that. Don't do that. Okay. I mean, I haven't done it yet, but I have the machine. I'm gonna do it.

What are you lasering for? We're all at home. I'm loving ease. Well, yeah, but it's not like you just lasering, and then it's gone. Like you have to do it a million times. So hopefully by the time I leave quarantine, I'm just gonna look like a thumb.

Like I'm gonna have the eyebrows, like I'm gonna have no hair anywhere. No, you know, here's the thing, it's not only is it like a do it yourself laser, but it's also a do it yourself laser you bought off of Facebook. So there's already like two stripes. There's a third bonus strike in there somewhere.

I don't know what it is, but it's there. Actually, the bonus was something that I wouldn't do and I'm trying to remember what it was. It was like, there's a spot remover, laser hair remover, and there was one other thing, and I was like, oh god, I'm not that dangerous, but I forget what it was. I'll look it up. I'm just, I just see peril all over this. I see, I see peril.

I see scarletlessness. I see scars. I see, I think you're going to just replace hair with scars. I'll have a story to tell. I'll be like. That's from that war I thought in against Lebanese back hair. Also like the places I want to get like hair away from how do I even reach them? That's why you don't throw a laser back there because you're not even look you can't even see you can't even reach them? That's why you don't throw a laser back there because

you're not even look you can't even see you can't even reach so you're going to laser the wrong thing. You're going to you're going to send yourself you're going to get in your eye and go blind. Okay, you're going to you're going to you're going to burn yourself and you're going to be like, ow and you're going to drop your laser and it's going to bounce around and get right into your eye and goodbye vision. Yeah, I was looking up can you do your eyebrows, but they said no. Oh no, Jesus Ronnie. Don't do that. Well, let's hurry up with this,

because I want to laser something. Okay, well, please laser the memory of you telling me about this out of my brain. So Lindsay, so Lindsay and Hannah are talking to you. Um, so like, why am I not laughing? I was weakened when I was in the long. And Hannah's like, well, jewels and Jordan were fighting.

And then the next day at the party, Carl yelled at Jules that like, everyone hates you. And it's like, no, Jules, like not everyone hates you. We just don't feel connected to you. And we don't know why you're stealing this house. And Amanda wants you to burn in a burning building. So it's a big difference, you know? And then like Jules is crying.

And then Jules has to talk to, you know, Amanda, then Amanda said that Amanda and Paige said that I said that she doesn't connect with anybody and then like, I mean, I guess they didn't want to look like mean girls. They were trying to make me look like the mean girl. And Lindsay's like, oh, this is how I was in terror. And Amanda and Paige are very clicky. They're very, very clicky. Yeah, this is Lindsey, like Lindsey, her tits, just like got fully erect at hearing all this, because she's like, oh, there's a way for me to, you know, drive a wedge between the young girls,

I'm gonna do it right now. Yeah, I'm in. And she's, I didn't realize that kicking people, that was even a thing. But if it is, I have a list of longer than jewels. And that's true. Like since when can you just kick somebody out of summer house, you can't.

You can't. That's what makes it fun is that you're stuck with these people. Do we not learn anything from reporter Christina Gibson reporting at large? Come on. They were stuck with her. And they had to deal with her. And it was the best.

So driving. Shade because of movie size, we got it all. By the way, I just want to point out that after everyone pledged to try to get to know Jewels a little bit more, no one hung out with her during the week. So yeah, so. Shiny cars, movie stars, we got it all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, you guys literally have none of those things.

There are no movie stars here. Their cars are barely shiny. Kyle has a nice car. The rest of you have like loner Lexus is. So let's stop faking you. Okay. Yeah. So they all get to the house and I'm at it's like, like, how fucking clean this place is now. Kyle. There's some PA somewhere who was like about to post a screen on Instagram. They like, they don't realize how hard I cleaned for that show and I got zero credit. Oh God that was awful.

So Carl they're all getting 1920s outfits delivered for limpsies roaring depression party. Well it's a murder mystery party and the 20s but yeah roaring depression also is a great descriptor of so many things on this show. So Lindsay is very excited because she's running 33 and she's also invited her new boo, Steven, to come out and join. So this is going to be clearly sent Carl into a tailspin. Yeah. So Kyle, they're in the kitchen eating lunch meets.

As you do. And they're like, so how's your week, Kyle? And he's like, not going to lie, it was a really long week. And Danielle says, so Carl's like the head sales guy in charge. And he says, no, he reports, he reports to like the COO, which is by design. And we're like, what's wrong with Kyle? Ooh what happened? So then page is like, Amanda come to my room So they go off and then meanwhile Lindsay's back in the kitchen She's like guys have you ever seen Hannah's knees so hairless

Has it been like an ongoing discussion like over G chat or not like I chat about like Hannah's knees. I'm sorry, but we can't have you in the house. You have her in these and it's really bothering everybody. Get the fuck out there. That's your news look great. By the way, your news look great. So so page and Amanda are are in and their room And Paige is like, I'd love that.

Hannah's having so much fun with Luke. But like, this is what I worry about for her. Like, he hasn't even told Elena about Hannah still. So, like, clearly Hannah's number two. And I just feel weird that she hasn't said anything about to us about it. So, I'm Matt Chalice at all. And I just felt like this was a really important thing

to say as soon as we went onto the house together. Great. Yeah, at this point, you just need to get a fucking life, okay? Like lady who refuses to show anything on TV, like get a life. So Danielle's like, um, Carl. So Carl was like, oh, a love on a girl gets mad. That like she wasn't said hello to like it goes both ways. You could have said, hello, Carlito. Oh, yeah, because he walked by her and that like he wasn't said hello to like it goes both ways you could have said hello Carly to oh Yeah, cuz he walked by her and she's like oh hey Carly. He's like oh

Why don't you say hi to me why don't you say auto Carly to Mike because you're so allegedly a gentleman It's considering you keep calling people gents. So maybe live up to the name So he's like already like very pissy right now and then he like takes a can of lever boy and like slide He like slides it down the kitchen island to Hannah Like like as if he's like in cocktail and then he's like all excited that he did it So he starts like high kicking his leg over the island and Hannah goes he's on one He goes oh yeah on drunk. Are you drunk? I don't think you're drunk. Yeah, by the way, you don't look great, by the way. By the way.

Oh, by the way, I'm gonna go ruin the front door. So I'm gonna be working on that. All right, guys, talk about it. Feel free to talk about it. So Kraus, I don't think you guys have picked up on the multiple stress signals coming from different angles in Carl's life. No, like what?

What could he possibly be stressed about? Okay, you're employing him and paying him for basically being his friend. Yeah, but did he get an unexpected bill for his pancake tab? Like what happened? Why is he so stressed right now? So we learned that, you know,

not only is Carl stressed about the Lindsay situation and that Sarah sort of dumping him, but he didn't show up on Monday to work and missed his call with the CEO, which is pretty much as Carl as it can be. Yeah. And Hannah goes, you know what? I feel like he uses his drinking to cope with stress. Yeah.

What else are was drinking for and Kyle's like and not to mention that it is an alcohol product. So and then we just cut the car all at that front door. For some reasons, like trying to open and close it and then the door knob just falls off and goes, not my fault. It literally is your fault. You literally fussed with the door and the door knob fell off. Yeah, so wow, Carl is stressed because he heard an idiot drug addict to run his sales. So congrats. Yeah, congrats. You hired someone who literally gets fired from his job

every single season, midway through the season. Yeah, congrats. You're learning what cause and effect is. Congrats. It is literally up there with like going to the Berkshires on New York or the Posh Fashion Show New Jersey. It's Carl getting fired from his job midway through the summer house season.

Congrats. Yeah. So then everyone starts getting ready and Amanda Pats is Lindsay in the hallway and stops her by and Lindsay goes, Hi, yeah. Hi. Hi.

So then they're getting ready to go out and tools comes into Lindsay's room. It's just it smells so good in here. What is that? Chanel and the thing goes um actually it's Victoria's secret So how are you stupid? I So how are you stupid? I heard that everyone hates you once you have that house So my recommendation is that you shape your kneecaps Sungy yeah, and she's like so how are you doing in jules goes? Well, I'm sure the girls caught you up on last weekend I'm good. Ah Yeah, so then they'll go out they'll leave the house to go out to dinner and as they're going out, Luke goes,

oh, we lost our door handle. That's amazing. Like Carl just never bothered to put the handle back on and just going to act as if it goes. No one can get back in ever. Y'all is the work of circus game and really work with it knocked off our door handle and the one back to California. Y'all.

So y'all go to dinner and, um, oh wait, but not before we hear a trixi song. Trixi at this point now, she's, but this song she just gives up on lyrics. We thought on Vanderpump rules when she did five, four, three, two, one. That was pretty bad. But this one she starts off with a lyric and then just goes into sound. She goes, I see the way you're looking at me boy.

You want to go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, to the room room room to the phone phone. It's like, she's just putting letters in front of Ooms now.

Yeah, she does. Yeah, exactly. So, this dinner scene was hilarious, because Carl is drunk and being just so ridiculous. So there's a pile of menus and he's sitting next to Lindsay. He's like, well, Lindsay, is this your menu? And she goes, you want one? And he's like, but is that your menu or is it Carl's menu? Who's menu is that? She's like, um, just drink a drink. What is wrong with Carly?

Yeah, he's like because because she's like here. She's like here here Carly don't take this one. He's like, oh, that was Carl's She's like, well, just take it. I was like, well, Carl's right there. So you know, and then he starts like laughing as if Lindsay's crazy Like, I mean, listen to this one. She's trying to give me like someone else's menu. Like, what is what's going on? By the way, Lindsay, you look great. You look great, by the way. I'm here watching this breath of my teeny.

So the other order and then Carl orders the kids chicken fingers and fries. And Luke orders a beer teeny. He is is like yeah, I'll have just the Like the IPA with some olives in it and we just hear page go this gusting So man, it's like guys, I'm just wanting me can announce me I'm gonna be working out my room on phone time and we see a clip of her going I grew some fucking balls And call starts to like cry So Carl goes at the back of the table. He's like, oh, so are we like co-workers now?

Well sort of mainly that I'll be working and you'll be having a title I guess, but yeah, I guess Sort of mainly that I'll be working and you'll be having a title, I guess, but yeah, I guess Let's go baby I'm gonna say like um, and I I didn't know the last ring when the moon and looks like well. We slept together. I mean Well, I said I can't do that My loo. Why can't you finger me? I think it goes because it got reasons. She goes what are your reasons?

Your reasons and then Amanda goes ask Yalanda So Luke says the truth is I tacked Yalena and I ended things You know, I just wasn't given her enough attention because I can't. And she was like, I can't do this anymore. And I was like, okay. So she broke up with you. So basically what you're saying is, you got dumped and you never had the fucking talk. Wow, we tried to put the feeling, he tried not to commit to any of the girls.

And then she was like, fuck this. And he goes, you know, I clearly am a mess. And it's going to take me some time to get over that. I'm just, you know, it's just it's hard for me right now. And Hannah just is looking at him with hearts in her eyes. She's like, dysfunctional man who can't figure out his life, who's a mess and is trying to get over a heartache. I'm in love.

Yeah. And he's like, you know, I just got to take time. I'm like, oh, I understand that. I'm like, I totally got it. And I'm like, oh, god, you're that girl now. Congratulations The last thing I want to do is to hurt Hannah. So my plan is to hurt Hannah and Then blame it on my heartache because I'm really a sensitive person who's just not over my girlfriend So Carl's like, oh, Hannah, Carl here. Hey Carl here Hannah. I'm sitting between oh my god

Page guess what the fuck Carl And Lindsay goes what the fuck is wrong with him? Nobody even saw me. Oh, I'm a nobody even saw me nobody even saw me And Carole's like that wasn't a complete sentence bro. He's like really where you say that to me You'll make Swiss chairs. Hey, this chair's your little awkward. He's like, oh really? Where are you saying that to me? You want me to switch chairs? Hey, this chairs are a little awkward. Can we switch chairs possibly? All right, all right, got another chair.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're saying that Carl is upset because he was in a chair that possibly made him look small. So the Lindsey's like, Carlito here, take my chair, problem, solve the hub house mystery, fix for the day. He's like, well, there was no problem. There was no problem.

I could share a left. Anyway, Carlito reporting to do the haugh. Yeah, I didn't understand what was happening here. And Lindsay's like, um, is Carl mad at the chair? Because him and Sarah didn't work out? Is Carl mad at this chair because Steven's coming tomorrow night? Uh, is Carl mad because he just bought a hair removal system off Facebook and his friend is a Jordan? I don't really know.

Is Carl mad because he is physically impossible for him to laser the hair off his knees because he grows back in three and a second? Maybe? and delays her the hair off his knees, the girls back and three and a second. So, um, maybe. So, girls, like, oh, you guys have somebody to say to me? You guys have somebody to say to me? You won't say to me? I mean, like, settle down, Carl. Yeah, I think I'll calm down.

Stop being so Carl. I didn't, I didn't break the front door. I didn't do that. I didn't do that at all. No one said that, Carl, I didn't. I didn't do that, you know. It's just as hard. It's like, it's hard. I'm just like learning. It's like Carl 5.0 That doesn't know how to do store knobs. That's all. Is this chair small? Is it just me?

So I get home and page is like jewels meet me bedroom now and just goes and jams It's like and jams Page is ordering a lot of people into a lot of rooms this episode. To talk about a relationship she's not involved in, it's so weird. Like she's very like family karma in this episode. Like who is better friends with Vichal? Who is better friends with the literally the lowest hanging fruit in our front room? So Luke goes outside and starts doing his usual song.

Like, I, oh, he is in the moon. And he's trying to sing about Minnesota. Yeah, he's got to put that thing down. And then Kyle's with the man, he's like, babe, you look great tonight. Love your outfits tonight, babe. So that's what he's, that's. He's like great,. I play. Yeah.

So then Lindsey page and jewels are up in bed and pages like, look, I think Luke is nice, but this is how I feel. And Lindsey goes, oh, Lauren. From a waxing need person to a hair and need person, well, let me give you some advice. Let her live her nice fresh new kneecap life, okay? And Paige is like, uh, because I don't trust this intention with Anna. I was like, um, why are you guys are me?

Just ask Luke, just go out and ask him. So Lindsay stomps out of there and Paige is like, fuck, because now Lindsay's gonna create drama, right? So Lindsay stomps out the back yard just oh So basically page and Amanda don't trust your intentions and they say that you stole Hannah's Racket and threw it into a swamp. So maybe that's something you have to think about Okay, and Hannah's like Lindsay Lindsay, who's saying that? And she goes, Paige! Ja! So Lindsay goes,

Let me tell you something, Paige. Oh, sorry, yeah. Lindsay goes back to Paige. And she's like, Oh, let me do this on the page. She's not happy with you. After I told her all the terrible things, then you said so.

She's saying that you're lying in titled, and Paige goes, how exactly do I act in titled? Did I just have a tea with my parents and then actual golden tea house? Yes. Did I pay for anything I'm wearing? Probably not. What were we talking about again? She's like, and I was, and I was, and I was like, um, Lindsay said, you feel like I have

opinions that I shouldn't have. And Hannah said, well, Hannah's like, well, she said page in Amanda can be clicky. And pages like, Tino, yes. In what world? Can you find the outfit that I'm wearing for less than $20? None. Okay. It was a great find. Okay. Like and subscribe below. Thank you guys. Good night.

And Lindsay's like, um, when you talk shit in about her, she just went that I talked shit about her. Um, I don't know because I wasn't here. She just, um, yeah, you work on, but you need a way. You know what? You started this whole fight. Like, no, I didn't. There was any mind. You know exactly what you did. And she leaves and then she goes, all right, bye, man. Bye.

Hey, and I was just like, I just want to fuck Luke. So she just goes up to me. She just, Lana, you can tell how dickmatized Hannah is right now because she is literally in the middle of a drama and she walks away with it, way from it, just so she can hang out with Luke. Yeah, she doesn't care. It's not her drama, you know? And now it's just Paige and Linting Friday and Paige is like, I'm not going to find one of my best friends just because you wanna start some chat.

And then they're like, maaay! So then, Jules and Paige are in the bedroom. Like, what just happened? And Hannah's like, I'm fucking a male model, okay? So you guys go with whatever you need to deal with. Yeah, exactly. Like, how many times does it explain it? It's a male model, okay. That's why I'm like

I will probably get hurt and it will probably worth it because I can always say I banged a male model Yeah, so Lindsay and Dan Yeller in their room and Lindsay's wasted and say I was No, same And you know, because maybe it's the way in which you just said it. Okay. Yeah, I've explained it as Comprehensively as I can in this pie chart. So if you like this, you know what? I was on the L.I.W.R. this getting out here this weekend, which still no one has reimbursed me for.

I had a lot of time to think about how your delivery is just very nasal and very aggressive. And this PowerPoint demonstration should show that next time, rather than using that kind of delivery, just blow your nose. So then, Hannah and Luke are in bed and it looks like they're going to bang and he's like, sit on my face. Oh, God, I love the summer. Oh, this reminds me of summer's going up to Lake of the North and enjoying fishing for various fish in the lake and catching a coyote every now. Hold on to Hanna, I gotta write this down, it's a great song, it's gonna be a great song. So then they're laughing and then the next morning he's like, we finger-banked.

She's like, we did not, yeah we did. And then Paige and Amanda are in their bed and Amanda's like, uh, we finger-baked. And she's like, we did not. He goes, yeah, we did. And then Paige and Amanda are in their bed. And Amanda's like, where is Hannah? She's like, I think in loose last night was like insane. And like, I was standing in the kitchen and I get bamboozled by Lindsay. And then Lindsay said that Hannah said that I'm entitled and like, she's not gonna start a fight with me

and my best friend. Let's see who gets murdered tonight. Yeah. So then the bros are all hanging out like trying to and looks like yeah, you know, Hannah and I had a sleepover. I've said it for reminding me of being in the Elbeen bunk like the Elbeen bag in the woods, you know, like trying to keep Mr. Barrow over there away from us by putting the trash in the in the trees and the campfire going, come on Luke, tell us what happened. Oh, we think her banged, we think her banged. And Hannah comes out, so where's my purse? I'll do it, find my iPhone.

And by the way, do not tell people you think her banged me last night, because that's not what happened. Yeah. So then Hannah goes up to Amanda in Paige's room and she's like talking about like how she was like hooking up with Luke last night and how like she wind up like sitting on his face or something like that. So she starts showing like how she was grinding on Luke.

So she starts grinding up on Amanda, but Amanda's holding some ice coffee and basically Hannah knocks all the ice coffee onto Amanda's chest. And Paige is like, man in my bed. Okay, none in my bed, right? I don't play by the rules, I always make them, I always make them, I always make them, I don't play by the rules, I always make them up, I don't play by the rules, I love when they pull that one out. That's a classic one that we've heard several times, that's my jam. So they're all getting ready for this depression party and Steven Ariello.

And I mean, wow, you couldn't drop more of a blatant sign than dressing like a caution sign. I mean, Lindsay is in a fluorescent, yellow, children crossing sign. And Steven's like, well, see nothing wrong here. Everything looks great. Yeah, and then Luke in hand, I go out up her ride on his bike. And the producers are like, you know, we're just not going to film this anymore. This is just not, it's not worth it.

So they come back and look like, whoa, Hannah, there's turkeys in our yard. How about that, Hannah? Okay, got to work in some turkey material into the song. Got it. I can do that. And then the caters cone and Everyone starts getting dressed in their pro-ohibition clothes. And then you're like, look at me. I'm gonna wait pro-ohibition. I need alcohol. Yeah, and then Carl meets Steven for the first time. He's like, oh, sup, bro. Sup, bro. Yeah, I'm totally cool with you being here. Just, you know, because Lindsay and I are those friends. So, uh, oh, anyway, can I get a triple shot of

vodka and a glass please with a fireball on the side and a ton of glass and tequila next to it? Great. Thanks, bro. Thanks, bro. Could you see me? I'm sitting in a small chair. So that sometimes is a problem. You look great by the way. Yeah, Carl has no chill. Stephen comes and sits next to him on the couch and Carl just jumps up. Yeah, do we have a simply BB shake around here? Oh, so Lindsey and Hannah start talking at the end of dinner table with Danielle and Lindsey's like She's like, what's going on? What's happening? Like I'm can and she's basically telling Hannah that Hannah needs to speak up and Hannah's like, why was I thrown under the bus again?

And now Danielle passes on that and she's like, see the very fact that you think that you're if like, you know, thrown under the bus, like maybe that's what you should be talking about. Yeah. So they're mad that basically she's mad because she's teed up the ball for Hannah to have a big TV fight. And Hannah's like, why would I fight with them? It's like, I'm confused. I was like, I'm gonna throw it under the bus again. And Dan was like, well, that like you just said you were throwing up to the bus. You need

to bring that up. She goes, I did. I went up to their room immediately and I talked about it. So. But he's like, um, girl, what up fucking pair of balls. Grow a pair of freaking balls. Like she just does. She literally says, I want you to come for them. What is wrong with you? I literally laser your kneecaps for free. The lazy and the other is a grow up pair of laser balls, okay? And that brings us to the end of summer house soon. Yeah, so I guess next week maybe Hannah might fight with them. We'll see. We'll see what happens.

Super fun. Yeah, it looks like Lindsay finally gets her way next week and starts the fight. She's been dreaming of. So we will see you guys next time. We'll be back tomorrow with the, what is tomorrow? Go Housewives of New York. New York City everybody. That will also be available as it

happens on demand video. And then our live show quarantine style will be next Friday night, week from Friday at 6 p.m. East Pacific time on campus. Hi. We will talk to you guys next time. Bye everyone! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.