Watch What Crappens - Summer House: Twentysomething Year Old Virgin Episode

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

Jordan starts a pattern of compulsively lying on this week's Summer House and Carl tries to fit into new white jeans. To hear this week's bonus episode taking place on a field trip to Glendale and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! GOODBYE KYLE available through March at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Portland, Phoenix, Boston, Irvine, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We love you guys! That's a fucking good crap. This is what we're gonna do for the rest of the kids. What happens, what happens, what happens, so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Browse. I'm Ronnie. Ronnie Care. And here I am with Ben Manlker of the B-side blog and real housewares of kitchen island on YouTube. Hi, Ben.

Hi. What's up? Well, I'll tell you what's up. I'm excited because we are one week away from our Portland show. So excited to be going to Portland, such a lovely, beautiful city. So we are hoping to see a bunch of you guys there. We've already sold like a few hundred tickets. So make sure you got yours because we want to have a big fun crowdhouse because we're going to be talking about real housewives of New York and Portland. And then very next night, we're going to be in Phoenix and we're going to be talking about Summer House. Anyone who is at our Summer House show in Cincinnati, I think some people like Summer House really

it was so much fun. Wow. Yeah, you much fun. Wow. So even if you did show to talk about, it's a fun lot. It's also, it's a really fun live show. Like that crowd at Cincinnati, like we were all just like dying together. We're laughing.

It was, it was so fun. So even if you're not current on Summer House, just watch the past few episodes. You'll be fine. We're gonna have an amazing time. Please trust us on this one. Tell your friends if you're worried about going solo. Don't worry about it. You're going to make friends. We say this at every show and it's always true. So watch our crap is calm for that. And on top of that, in addition to tickets, we also have Rondle

and Baka. T shirts up for another couple of weeks. So for all that, also a Patreon, we do Google Hangouts, we have new ringers up. So for all that also a Patreon we do Google hangouts We have new ringers up. So there's a lot of good stuff over there. It's where you get our bonus episodes This week was a car trip a field trip we took to Glendale and next week will probably be a southern charm breakdown I would imagine so if you want to hear all that stuff There's good stuff go over to watch over to patreon.com slash watch it crap and so you can find ticket links Patreon links all of our links store links everything at watch it crap It's calm. So just go check that out and today

Yes, I'm a house Yes, Jen's yeah, let's let's talk some summer house, Jen's um Ronnie I spent like this entire episode cracking up everything was making me laugh I Did too and I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to keep pressing stop to take notes because summer house let me seriously like I press stop and I'm like why did I write that down you know yeah same. So this time I just kept writing online press polls I think two times because I had to you know to get stuff in there but sometimes my notes are going to be crazy today okay it's anything I'm trying for summer house. Well, guess what?

I press pause a whole bunch of times. So I have very specific notes So don't you worry when things get crazy. Don't you worry. I will write the ship Okay, so we go back to where we were last week where they're having girls may and dents night Dents This is one for the gents. Yeah, there's a bro be cute back at the house Gents, yeah, it's for the gents and the boys. Yeah, that's some bro the cute back at the house. Gents. Yeah, it's for the gents and the boys. Yeah, that's some pros. Yeah, that's some pros. And like, let's look at Jordan's phone. So while the gents are being gents over in the gents house,

the girls are over at Maison Vivienne, who that that restaurant I had a real issue with last last week because they had extremely overpriced salads that were written in zap chance refunds. Like you cannot charge that much and then have it in that font face. I'm sorry. So Lindsay is there and she's, well, all the girls are there. And Lindsay is telling Danielle what Jordan said to all the girls last week when Danielle left the beach early to take the train back home. Because she's like a presentation.

And Jordan was like, yeah, well, I'm into page right now because page is here. So Lindsay basically tells Danielle that. Yeah, Danielle's like, what did he say word for word? He's like, um, he said that you're like, grills like an old enchilada and you smell like fart. Like, thanks, Lindsay. He feels great. Yeah.

Danielle's like trying to be like all angry. She's like, I like Jordan and he seems like, she seems to like me. So how could you say something like that in front of my girlfriends? Am I right? Looking for the new Danielle summer house season three. I knew another one of these girl drinks. No! I just cut the page, sipping a Cosmo.

Like, oh my God, just give me out of here right now. I don't want to be here anymore. Am I right? Oh my God, these people are so annoying. They're even dressed for us. Over with the gents, Carl's like, yeah. Okay Jordan, you've got a choice. You can have Pete, Danielle, or the boys.

And he's like, the boys. I'm like, yeah, yeah, woo! Proveee! You got the correct answer, and now you are officially a gents like the rest of it But guess what Jordan you're such a good gent you would have been a gen anyway even if you hadn't answered the correct Gent question. Yeah, and he jumps all over and he's helping him Yeah, can I say something to Kyle Kyle? I

Know this that Amanda wants you to be like more like well, man The wow to man the wow and kind of like yeah, she wants me to be more romantic because like yeah, man, the wow, the man the wow. And kind of like, yeah, she wants me to be more more romantic. Cause like, yeah, I was sort of saying. So Kyle's like, you know what, I'm going to send a, I'm going to send a, Amanda bottle of champagne at the restaurant. So, uh, you're the king of send. Which I can't stand to send it business. I feel like send it is like some phrase that like, like straight millennials are saying, I guess. I don't know, it has somehow like missed me

and I thought it was like a weird thing that happened last season, but it's like back and it's even worse because Kyle has like five different t-shirts that have like the send it in different patterns. And I'm like, I'm not, I will not take part in this. I'm not going to send it. King of the said, like the sends of the hourglass, these are the it's of our lives.

Okay. Yeah. You know, the best part about Kyle is that not only does he send it, he actually literally sends things. It's like amazing. He've ever been to the post office. They have an entire business based on sending it. Yeah, sending it to the Gens. And totally programming a new email program

that instead of saying send it says, Kyle it. Yeah. Yeah. He's like watching Kyle do nice things for Amanda. a new email program that instead of saying send it to his call it. Yeah, he's like watching Kyle do nice things for Amanda. It makes me want to have a girlfriend. Nice things too. I was like, listen, no girl is going to see a guy with ironed-on letters on a shirt and be like, that's the guy that I want to raise my children.

I just want to do nice things and have her put her weight on me. So they call up Maze on Vivienne, Kyle does. And he's like, I'd like to send a bottle of champagne over to my girlfriend and they're like, oh, sorry. But the only champagne we have is a 2009 Tom Perillon for $600. I'm like, of course, Maze on Vivienne. You're lying right now. We know you're lying. I don't trust rion for 600 dollars. I'm like, of course, Maison Vivienne, you're lying right now. We know you're lying. I don't trust you. You stupid restaurant, you're overpriced.

You got bad fonts and now you're committing champagne fraud. These are lies. These are lies. No one go to Maison Vivienne. Yeah. And also guys, they met champagne. You can still send over a lovely bottle of sparkling rosé champagne or or seco or cover ros a me come on shut up me zombie and like I think that like that's bullshit they are extorting Kyle right now yeah they are but he deserves it because he cheated like five years ago so Kyle's like all right

here take down this card here's what I wanted to say farted on your pillow sorry it starts off with babe don't forget that that's essential to any romantic note. Babe. Babe. Um, your pillow smells like fart. Sorry. Also can't wait to move in with you. They all flap five. Like yeah, yeah, that was great. Great, great note. Great note. So while they're slapping five, the women are at Maison Vivienne and they're like, cheers to being females. And just like, yeah, cheers to not needing guys, but kind of wanting them anyway.

So the bottle comes over and the man, they're like, it's a bottle for Amanda and Amanda's like, oh kay, oh, it says, babe, miss you, love you, and I can't wait to move into you. Hahaha. Stupid Maison Vivienne missed out, like, wrote it down wrong, I made it super pervade. A $600 bottle of wine and they can't even get them out right. So the girls are all making fun of it.

They're like, into you, oh my God, he just wants to fuck. And then page, because if I'm in year three, and my boyfriend has to send me a $600 bottle of wine to sleep with him, actually, I'm doing something right. So good job. I'm already born of this champion. So what do you guys think the boys are doing? Probably a crossword puzzle, which is funny, because A,

I was like semi doing a crossword puzzle and b Like did at what at what point did they ever think these guys would ever be doing crossword puzzles? No, they're they're home skating skating the line between game straight. It's very funny So they're like hey bro Let's let's look at each other's abs. All right. Look at mine. Look at my abs. Yeah, look at my abs. Yeah, look at your up. Write an answer for the abs. Yeah, let's see some push ups together. We'll put shots down and then if we finish them, we'll do the shots. Yeah, bro. This is actually what I always do when I get halfway through the people magazine

crossword. I got totally stumped. Yeah. Guys, let's make a bro ham sandwich. Push ups and jello shots. Yeah, we're gonna send it. We're gonna send it to the floor and back up again Cuz in push off get it So then we transition to later and then I where everyone's coming home and the song is And the best part about summer house is that they have no budget So they have to use the same tricks tricky monocles songs over and over again So we start to get to I don't I don't I did not recognize that one But the other songs later in the episode. I was like I remember this jam from last week like I'm starting to like no the no the library Yeah, these songs are not made to be used more than once. They're like condoms, okay?

Like you blow their wad terribly and get rid of them Okay, like you blow their wad terribly and get rid of them So the girls are back Danielle is like drunken pits from everything and then Amanda goes up to Kyle I'm just like Kyle thanks for the know that was really nice and they're like being cutesy in the foyer and while they're like talking I don't know if you notice this Ronnie, but Paige just comes clopping bot she's like I put Paige clumps past bb I need to get somewhere in these clogs. And cows like, Dave, I want to have sex. Yeah, that's what I thought. So Lindsay, Lindsay's like, oh, we need to get more.

I'm a medium. So Lindsay, uh, Lindsay's like, oh, Danielle, we need to get more double me. Let's let's let's late night. I'm still trying to make late night of her. So I'm a hot tub this blow up toy because they have it in the hot tub. Keep sitting Lindsay in her eye and she's like, oh, stop hitting me. I'm saying, Y'all guys, that's how I feel about Jordan. I If you really make sense, I can do you in the eye, huh?

I said it barely makes sense and yet makes all the sense in the world. It's such a Danielle thing to say. Yeah. So now it's the next morning and they are going to go miniature golfing. Kyle has arranged this because he's like, uh, let him know. In fact, Amanda was a golfer. So we're going to go golfing, which then never comes up again ever. So it's fine.

Yeah. Amanda is no Hannah. That's for sure. Yeah. So Hannah, that's right. I was raised in tennis. So speaking of Hannah, she goes and tells Jordan, like, oh, by the way, we all told Danielle what you said about Paige and her, like, behind her back.

So, you know, have fun with that. Bye. And he's like, I have to have a conversation. So he's like, for them to tell her what I said, it's bullshit. I thought it was the summer, okay? Like Danielle's still on the radar, but. So he's like, for them to tell her what I said, it's bullshit. I thought it was the summer, okay? Like Danielle's still on the radar about, there's other girls in the haptons.

Oh, you're so gross with your fake abs. I know. And like, for him to be mad, he's like, for the girls to go behind my back, it's like, for him to say that when he was the one going behind pages back and showing all the quote unquote texts that he had from her to the bros, like shut up Jordan. Honestly, you really need to shut up. So he goes up to Danielle.

He's like, you guys excited about Pat Pat? She's like, no, asshole. He's like, whoa, tough crowd, tough crowd. So then, of course, so they go to the miniature golf place. And everyone knows that Jordan was being addicted to Danielle. And so what happens? They put Jordan and Danielle on the same little miniature golf team. I know.

You can be summer house all you want, but you're on Broadway. You're still a house live show, OK? And Danielle plays miniature golf exactly the way you'd expect. She hits the ball, it goes into like a water feature. You're likeive show, okay. And Danielle plays Minisergolf exactly the way you'd expect. She like hits the ball, it goes into like a water feature. You're like, oh, yeah. So that's one. Good one, Danielle.

So Jordan is like, can I talk to you? Okay, he's gonna pull the typical man thing where he turns it around on her. Yeah, so before she can yell at him, he's like, I just don't want you to feel I'm leading you on. I just wanna't want you to feel I'm leading you on. I just want to set some boundaries. Cause you asked to walk me, you asked me to walk you out

from that bod fire. And it made me feel like you were way more into me than I am into you. And you're moving way more quickly than I want. Yeah, your total CPMs are really going beyond initial pay structure that we have for this relationship. And I just think that like, when you take out like fewer impressions and more high volume, high quality baked in moments.

Yeah, it's like, if you're going to expect this much, I'm going to need to charge you for a pop-up ad, basically, so I'm saying. She's like, um, all I did was ask you to walk me out of the beach. He's like, yeah, I'm so sorry. I let you on that way by you know Leading you on Well to me you're acting a certain way and then you tell everyone else different things about me. Just don't do that I work hard all week. Okay. I'm not holding onto a grudge. I mean Jordan's a dick, but he's so hot still fucking I'm like you are so pathetic

Stop. Well, I think that you're trying to be like whatever he's a dick, but I'm horny and looks good. So I'm gonna try to get that dick. I know, but it's pathetic. Stop. It is pathetic. So, um, so then I'm gonna leave a minigame because it's like, it lasts all of like two minutes on screen. Uh, and some of the, some of them like,

stop by this strange antique place that like, it's one of those antique places that you drive by you're like who ever buys stuff from a place like that and then you find out it's like these people do they get like these weird ceramic or porcelain sculpture kichi things you know it's like you know like we got a monkey drinking we got a zebra yeah they probably paid like two thousand dollars for all that stuff too, which is the sad part. So then they get home and Lindsay and Danielle, of course, are like dancing around doing their look. We're getting day.

Dan's dancing. They're actually living room. It's like you guys are not getting these. Stop doing that dance. It's getting sad. And the sad part is that like it seemed like they were actually dancing to an actual tricksy, monical song. Like they were singing along the lyrics actual Trixi Monical song.

Like they were singing along the lyrics. I was like, did the producers tell them, okay, we can't play music right now because it messes up our audio, but here are the lyrics that we want you to dance along and to like, you just sing them. Yeah, because they were doing it. They were singing along right with the song. They're like, with your life, live your life, live your life. We'll be on the dark side.

It's like the first time that Trixi Monical has ever been passed off truly as like the actual music that's being played. Actually, I shouldn't say that. They always try to do that, but this is the first time they made an effort to really try to integrate Trixi Monical into the show. Yeah. Trixi's getting her own role, finally.

Yeah. So now it's like dinner time and Carl's like, uh, yeah, page. Let me get the door for you, which is like, thanks Carl. Is that any her do? Really like it? That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, this just in from the Gen News Wire. I just want to say, you girls look really hot. Like seriously, you guys look really hot. You're welcome in advance. Yeah. So when Carl has carl Amanda page and carl and carl is like uh can I be for real I'm a jet you girls are caught man with the door again you know I know we're driving pull me up in the door few just to put the jump fam almost died almost died almost

died but it was worth it because I would die for beauty yeah Yeah. And cows like, yeah, we're the hot car And then it custody the other car with Hannah Jordan Lindsay and Danielle and no one's talking. It's like the most awkward car right ever Yeah, exactly and so Kyle's like, you know, everything Jordan says. I don't even know anymore I like you know, he was he was like She paid. She was like saying like, oh wow like you guys were dating and farting and stuff like that I mean, she's like um,, oh, wow, like you guys were dating and flirting and stuff like that. And she's like, um, I've never been sexually attracted to him ever.

I mean, look at him. He looks like a greeting card that's folded up. He puts the shoebox and shoebox greetings. Like, no, Chris. I feel like Kyle retucking. Kyle's big sticking point is, he pulled up a screenshot. Like, Kyle is so mad about the screenshot.

Yeah. And Paige tells tells us I take my reputation Very seriously and I'm not letting you speak on my behalf and say we were talking you'd be lucky if we were talking Yeah, so they get to the restaurant and they're like looking at the menu and like has anyone you even here before and Carl's like Oh, yeah, just this one time the sea bass Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like the gen to the ocean. See, bass. I love when people go get some Botox or go do whatever to make themselves feel better. I say make yourself feel better. So I'm not judging this because of that. But Lindsay's like that girl who gets a new toy and she cannot put the toy away. It's like you don't need to bring your American girl

to the table. You know what I mean? It's still an American girl to all. Leave it in your room. And I feel that way about her boobs. Like, I get it. You got new boobs. Like, do I need to eat lunch with your boobs?

Like, everyone else doesn't have their boobs hanging out. Of course, that's your right. But for Christ's sake, put those things away, you know? You boobsob-shaming her. I would rather shame her for little ruffles that she has on her dress at all. She was so much. It's like, oh, it's like, look, I got an ambulance. Like, great. Congratulations. Stop bragging about your boobs. Put them away for Christ's sake. I'm trying to eat lunch. Well, I'm just going to let that out. I'll just, you know, I'm just gonna let it slide. I don't need your agreement.

My agreeance, if you will. Listen, I'm like I said before, the thing that bothers me the most that I feel like I see a lot on Lindsay are like little, frilly like flaps of cloth. You know, like it's like the workers twins. I said this on another episode. The workers twins who I really enjoyed They introduced the concept of like flappy flappy edges on their clothing and like I feel like Lindsay is continuing to like carry the torch for flappy edges

In their memory and I might you know what I love the workers twins, but it's time to move forward Let's get rid of the flappy edges Yeah, you're done with the clan ruffles. Yeah, no more ruffles. So Let's like the way you know, I'm sorry. We're not moving on yet. Oh, I have to read you something. I just learned on the internet Yes, please floppy sleeve boobs and just kidding says while agreeance is a word It hasn't often been used since the 19th century, whereas agreement is both correct and common. But to go with agreement, this is a part of a complete episode.

Agreance is a word that seems to be continually reinvented and recycled, the first term, the term first appeared in the 16th century and lasted until the 19th century. So there you go, everybody. That was a call back for a New York episode. We first started talking about a green stand. And I talked about how annoyed I was.

That Fred Durst said a green. There was a big moment when Fred Durst said a green sound on a ward show, and then it became a thing. And I was saying I was annoyed that people say a green's women, they really should be saying agreement. Unless you feel like using archery language. OK? Yeah. No idea feel like using okay language. Yeah, no it isn't. Welcome to English class.

It continues this week on WatcherCrapins. So anyway, Lindsey's like, especially, especially my genius for everyone, cheers to a drama-free dinner, single Lindsey. And if anyone says the word, I'm going to throw this drink in your face right now. So happy I want to have a ride, I want. to throw this drink in your face right now. So happy. I want to ever And Jordan goes where some lucky guys you get to spend the summer with you ladies and pages. Um, yeah, right

You showed the boys a screenshot of my tax and then he looks at Kyle and Kyle just shrug slowly drinks She's like, you're just like, welcome to TV, Sucker. Yeah, she's like, I wasn't the case. Any good? And so Jordan's like, the fact that you say that you're not flirting with me and makes me look like a dirt bag and like you were totally flirting with me. And then you just see him, he's like, he's like, pying at like a piece of cauliflower and just like rolling it around his plate. I'm like, that is the sign of a guilty person pushing your cauliflower around. Yes.

And Bay just like, it pisses me off. Okay. If you come for me, it is game over. All right. You can't go to a group and tell them that you're gonna hook up all summer and not tell the girl involved. Okay.

And he goes, you can't say you're not flirting with me. When I have texts with you flirting with me, with me. That was not flirting. I will show you flirting. Yes, that her phone. At which point, Carl is like, uh, pages exactly my type, short, dark, and angry at someone. That's not me. Yeah. I want to do nice things for her. I'm going to teach her at the minute I collect the letters. I just have to peel them off my last two. Shirt and rearrange them. Sort of like a movie marquee. Oh my god. I'm like a movie. Look Jordan, I don't think you are being malicious, but you can't go around doing things like that to girls. He's like, I'm not going around doing

anything. And that was pre getting turned down for a spray tan. Oh, okay. So this is before, like, this is way, way, way, way long time ago that you screenshot. And that's why you screenshot it and brought it up now, loser. Yeah. And act like she's been flirting with you all this time. Meanwhile, Karthler, like, uh, sorry, Jens, but, uh, hey, page, I, I just, uh, once you know, I'm going gonna cut some pieces of your steak because I'm a real gentleman I'd like to do nice things for girls and I want to have a girlfriend and evolve to this new state in my life And also have a quota of having to cut four pieces of steak by the end of the week. So here we go Only cut three shoot

And Hannah's like, oh my god Carl's cutting your meat for you. That is the sweetest thing ever I mean the last time I got a slice I earned it on my own in it was the outback tournament of young champions and I won that shit I was a blue onion I'm face this goes um smaller pieces Carl I'm not a caveman like you Carl so um Carlito. I want to talk outside. Please, Carlito. Carl, Carlons go outside. And meanwhile, I mean while pages then match, it's like, I didn't get to have any stake because I was yelling at you, Jordan, which is something I would totally say to someone. So the outside car, I was like, oh, finally, we're not in the middle.

They're like trying to figure out how to high five each other, but never quite get there. And then he's like, so you're in a page now. And guess, um, I don't know. There's like a different shift like where am I? If like, I don't want to be a fuckboy anymore. I'm like, oh my god, you're rolling. I'm old because things is. I mean, like, I don't want to be a fuckboy.

I just want to be just like a good little boy that you may fuck every now and then, you know? So like, you know, all my friends are married and they all have homes and they all have like little mini dishes for their babies. Which, I loved his like, you know, all my friends are married and they all have homes and they all have like little mini dishes for their babies. Which I loved his like foam over having mini baby dishes, which I don't think is a thing, but I still like that he had foam over it. Like this one this year I learned what a sippy cup is and like melted my heart.

So yeah, like why don't we have sippy cups? Like what? Like I'm allowed to spill on myself, but a baby is not like Where's my protection from my own drink and Lindsay's like? Well, I see myself with a girlfriend slash becomes a wife at some point Yeah, a job that makes me feel good because like this one's like crushing me and you know basically like fucking a lot of you know Chicks and I'm getting good. Yeah, I see myself like surrounded by cereal and grains and

Olive oil and vinegar and then I'm like making that with page kind of car no Get out of the pantry again. Oh, sorry And then of course this is this this anything that Carl says has everything to do with Lindsay She's like yes, I get my eyes going for sure Is like Let's just not about you this is specifically Carl's visualization. Stop putting Everett into his mind. Stop like forcing Everdon to a dream onto a vision board. Yeah, keep Everett on your own weird vision board. Carl, I want you to close your eyes and tell me where you see you and Everett in two years.

All right, well, you're right. I want you to tell me, you're in my wedding. Where you sitting? I'm wondering what ever it's a vision board would be like. Oh, that's five years from now. I'm walking through Target and all I can think about. You're the moving target I used to face down and now I'm... And I... Get some Todd And I get some methane I think What is my method? I have no method, the only method I have is the method of me getting the lady like Lindsay And before you know it, I'm pushing that car through target

And suddenly there's an explosion behind me You see an harm fly through the... Fly through the... Pink air And I grab that harm and I bring it down to me And then someone tasks me on the shoulder and says, so just stand up. That arm you're holding isn't an arm, it's just a can of pringles. Turns out I overreacted, it happened sometimes. But it's the Endress, a target. I find myself hiding under the prescription desk. Suddenly I ask, think, what's that taste of my mouth? That's not a pringles.

And I realize pringles has come out with a flavor that tastes like a pecan pie. And I think, what the fuck is this? But I ain't in any way. And then, then I see an enemy in the distance that I grab, I beg your name, and pull the string and throw it. Turns out it was just a golden pineapple from the Home Decor. But it worked anyway. It worked anyway.

I've always wanted one of those pillow chairs on the floor, and now I've got one. For this moment, baby. But this moment will last forever. That was a great ambition, Everett. That was really great. Uh, it's Carl, actually, so. It's Carl actually. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of WonderZnew Podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin

and Haley Bieber. A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So now, what happened here? I think I just raised it all. Now we have a new song. I can't wait to get down, I can't wait to get down, I can't wait to get down. And it cuts to Hannah going going I'm going to bed This old athlete has to rest those bones So then in the kitchen lady night

Patious wasted page and Carla drunk and she's like I like or pizza and he's like oh me too marriage material And so he's like page come here into this closet because we both realize we just love pizza. So get in here young lady And then she's like a Carl. I really slayed tonight. He's like, yeah, Pidge You're hotter when you're mad, which says a lot because you're already pretty hot as previously established in the car when I told you so Are you turned on Carl? I don't know if it's me or this box or Captain Crunch, but I am hard as fuck Um, I don't know if it's me or this boxer captain crunch, but I am hardest fuck So then they set the door to the pantry and they just start making out and then the time clock You know the little time thing is at the bottom. It's like

11 minutes The clock is going underwater Yeah, they finally merge and he's like oh, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw. So meanwhile up in her room, we see Lindsay, and she's in bed, it's like night vision, and they've moved this like giant zebra next to her bed. So it's like, it's head is like over her bed, like it's staring at her.

And I just kept on thinking, the poor person who was put into that zebra, like, you know, someone was like, there's a curse. And someone was like, oh, you have done wrong to my family. And they transformed that person to a ceramic zebra. And they are now stuck staring at Lindsay and Bed. It's like, please, someone saved me from this curse right now. Please.

Yeah. I'm now watching the saddest existence I could ever imagine. Please get me out of here. So Lindsay is in bed and she facetime's ever it and she's like, um, over And he's like, I want to go to bed. Then it gets to her and she's like, um, over Goblott's is so like you love very Versus and you know, I'm like, no, he's not good for me, but I can't hold that I'm like now he's not good for me, but I can't call that Did she call him I think just I don't call him on FaceTime. I don't even know I don't even know I just know they had like the worst conversation ever. How was your night? Oh God

I want to go bad So now we have now is a tricky monical song I I wrote down the, it's the Na Na Na Na O-O-O song, which I remember when I came on, I was like, oh my God, I love this song. It's like, it's like, na na na na na. I don't remember how it goes now, but just went na na na na, O-O-O. It was really good.

Yeah, really good stuff. Oh, reminds me of that. I thought about the closet, Jen. So Kyle's like, this week we're officially starting our apartment hunt. I feel so confident. And then we see them cleaning the kitchen. Amanda's still wearing a tag on her bra, by the way. Like Amanda.

She's going to write an apartment. She can't just be paying for bras. That's true. So they're downstairs in the kitchen and Carl's like, ah, Jensen's, gent ladies, uh, page 9 made out last night. So sorry Jordan, I'm just a little bit slicker. And she's like, I might have to add making out in pantries to my list, but you know what, there's no strings attached. I'm telling you that right now. Me and it's like, well, technically I have a string attached to me right now, but... Um, so Portañal has Earl the Girl drunk monkey, or the drunk girl monkey or whatever.

Oh, Earl the Girl, the drunk monkey in her room. Oh, my God, even her animal sad. Oh, yeah, that monkey that was drinking? Yeah, I would be terrified. I don't like any of this So then it's Monday and we're in the city and you know because the song is keep dreaming Yeah, it's that city montage moment that we always get where it's like Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday So Kyle and Amanda are looking at apartments and then we see page on the street. She's like Doing like an IG story or something. She's like like, I'm really on trend right now with white shoes. And my dress only cost $25 and also Jordan sucks by everyone.

And Carl's at work and he's like, work, work sales quota. Hey guys, I'm Miss June. If I miss July, I'm gonna lose my job. And I'm at a networking event right now. So let me give you my card because guess what no one's getting pussy Yeah, oh if you're interested in e-commerce then let me just direct you to my card I just want to tell everyone here in this room you all look really hot right now and I'm just like so impressed You just like seriously really hot really hot So this is a phrase in Fox

Yeah, oh my god, this was my favorite because Lindsey meets up with this woman named Anna and rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap rap I'm working. And so, I wish I could think I got the talk of contract. The money is still coming down my bank. Yeah, three years later, still working on the tacos. She's like, so how's it living with Christina? And like, oh my God, I was, this made me so happy because we then, we found out, first of all, Anna is living with Christina Gibson. And then we got to get like a Christina Gibson update, which was also included a flashback to Christina's big moment.

She's like, reporter Christina Gibson reporting live. She stole that giant bottle of rosé and everyone's there to her like, um, just my favorite, my favorite. And it's like, um, so is Christina. Are you allowed to put seven in the bathroom? Yeah. And it's like, um, so is Christina. Are you allowed to put seven in the bathroom? Yeah. And it's like not even a tampon. She goes, I tried to warn you.

If we saw like another clip of like Christina trying to like type on the on the couch. And then Lindsay's like brings all the interns in was like, well, come to hub house. Christina's like, Christina's contained rage was like my favorite thing of season one. I swear to God. Hmm. Well now Anna's got her. I'm not gonna be a little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more So we're still talking about Everett. Yeah. Yeah. Because we decided to have them on par and then I held down by the backpackers on my hand. I'm like, I don't plan on it.

It just happened. Like, it's like an ant just laughs at her. I fell on the deck. I'm sorry. It just happens. Like, you know, it's very persistent in human being. And I'm like, since it's single wins and like, you know, it's like, it was July 4th, which made me think of him because it's only came back from Iraq.

And then the other day it was like July 7th, which reminded me of the time that like, I went to Applebee's with him. And day it was like July 7th Which reminded me of the time that like I went to Applebee's with him and then it was like July 8th And remind me the time we had sex everyone to Applebee's so it's just like a lot Anna Yeah, and Anna's like um is it chemistry or is it really addiction? Obsession, okay, because what love means to me is someone consistent that you can trust that'll be there for me, you know And then she's like you can trust that'll be there for me, you know. And this is like, morning, morning, morning, you know, the all in Z hears is, I think that was a great choice. Lindsay, you did the right thing. And you guys will wind up together someday. So keep at it.

So technically more, thank you, some return for you and giving me my eyes. I'm going to let you pay for my line. So now we also now it's time to go back to the Hamptons, which means we also get the return of that song. It's like, we're the big shots now, we're the big shots now, which is also one of my favorites of the Summer House season three, Tom.

You better look out. So Kyle's like, room, room. And then he's like, oh my god, that turned me on. Not gonna lie And Carl's like guess what Jens? I got a summer Friday Yeah, I just you know I begged him pleaded and was like I didn't hit my quota But you can fire me next month because all I want is a summer Friday and so now I got one and I just need a glass of wine So Jordan and Paige and Hannah are the first to arrive so I have to take in the box

Is oh my god? How? You have two gray hairs And then pages like guys, I have a great outfit for tonight and Hannah's like that surprises no one Yeah, so everyone's saying hello and like I was like I took a summer Friday. Yeah, I took a summer Friday guys Check it out got a summer Friday. Yeah, I'll say summer Friday And then he's got new white pants which you know fucking Carl new white jeans I'm like you need a new ones Carl He's like yeah, I'm gonna break these white jeans guys. Hey, let's all go out to dinner Oh, wait Danielle's on the train. Oh

For Danielle is like she's always on like like she's always on the outside or transportation I know she's like the weddest blanket to ever be wet For Danielle and she's really trying hard to not be wet this time But it's like it's they're conspiring cancer like they all are are ready to have fun and it's like oh guess what Danielle's on the train Even though that was Carl a few weeks ago, but for some reason it's just sad to win Danielle stuck on the train So they're in the kitchen and Carl's like we need to brose a hey Carl look at your shirt. Well, bro You work an out or what that's the hardest working button I've ever seen on a shirt look at that thing struggling to stay button And Jordans like wow did you do chest today or what bro and cause like actually it was back day whoa oh

And girls like page I'm not gonna lie you look pretty good. You look pretty good page You on I hit up that pantry over there. The doors open. You can go ahead. No Conscience sign page You're wearing Single so then Danny y'all come think oh my god I got here look up at the D where's the D say to the god don't leave me please don't leave me out So Jordans like um, hey, I'm just gonna bring you up bring your bags upstairs You know I'm gonna get back into your good graces and everything which is like dude like don't talk about like not Leading someone on and then do something super chivalrous for someone like I don't understand him at all

Yeah, and then Danielle's still trying to pretend she doesn't care. She's like, if he wants to get my bag to get on my good side, then that's fine by me because I can already see his good side. And it's walking away from me. What you talking about Danielle? Trying to say his ass. She's trying to talk like a dude on the construction side. You know, like she's Danielle and you know, she's crying herself to sleep at night.

And then Hannah, I guess they want Hannah to wear pages, kitten heels or something like that. She's like, I could barely walk in them, you know, being a tennis star, I only wore sneakers. So this is crazy. Like, what is this? And then she's like, that's like barely even a heel, it's a kitten heel. So like, trying to walk stupid face. So then the Jordan still keeps trying to flirt with Daniel. And it's so awkward. He's like, Danielle, you changed so fast. And she is, you know, price, he's like extremely. I was like, oh, yeah, you two are going to last forever.

Yeah. So they go up to dinner at this Mexican place. And the waitress brings out some chips and guac, which you know, man, it was like, oh, I was gonna make guac Kyle. I'm like, everyone at this camel to really respect to ever made this guac because it's not as easy as it was. Hey, Kyle. And pages like, I'm speaking about guac.

I went on a date with Australian and it was so good. We had a really nice time. My call was like, uh, reverse gents. Like, what? What? Then we get to see her on her date with this dorky Aussie guy. And she's like, oh, oh my god. I don't even know how to play pool. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

I'm just a girl. And he's like, yeah, look at they almost go in the pool. But I was talking about a king to read. Carl's like, oh, yeah, well, has he texted you since? I want to hear what he said. And pages like, well, he said I had so much fun. I went to you last night, classic, copy and paste, whatever. My Carl, that's a pretty stand.

Like, it is classic, but it's classic for a reason because it's like, like a certain amount of like Like consideration and courtesy. Yeah, what's supposed to say like hey love math got it sending today. Okay. Have a good one And it's like I got laid last night and this morning Well first Carl goes, uh, yeah, that's great great text. text uh does he go down under pages like I like Carl okay I think I just made a pretty super cool pun so he's like uh only girls get jealous and uh guys just get tired of white jeans and like try and make them work so stretch so Hannah announces that she uh she got she a she got laid last night in this morning because there's this guy that she's been sleeping with over the past few months, but she's also seeing some other people.

And so Carl weighs in. I think that as a female, it's awesome. Like go girl. But for me, I get yelled at. But anyway, point of story is go girl. You go girl. Go girl. Go girl. Yeah

Sorry lost where I was oh yeah, and they're like well, I don't even know of yeah, it's like dating is like a whole other thing You know like if I'm dating someone it's like totally different, but like I'm in a rush until I know of and then cuz like well We started apartment hunting and everyone's like yeah, and then because um we started apartment hunting and everyone's like yeah and then he goes um the only thing that I can say about fun is it's good that you're finding a new space because that became a problem with me and over because it was like using us to me a lot and I was like I just made space for you and now you're gonna get mad at me. And I just wanna reiterate that like I moved in with Everett, he used it against me and this is an aspect of our relationship that I'm publicly declaring to the table and therefore you all know about it

and it is very clear to everyone here at this table. Yeah, and Gaga's, I wanna live with her, you know, I wanna live with her together, but I've seen that firsthand when it's not right, you know, I mean, you just complicate your breakup and then Jordan goes, yeah, point in case. Which by the way, point in case, not drawing my nuts, case in point. But yeah, it's a point in case. They point to Lindsey because Lindsey just said, yeah, when I moved him with Everett, there were like, he would use that, oh, he would use that against me. So he says,

point in case, and Lindsey's like, um, how would you know, Jordan, shot the fuck up? I'm just saying like what you just said, you're there and you don't know what my relationship was. Carguss, I'm not free to say even a goddamn word. And Carguss, there's two unwritten rules in summer house one man are always wrong to never say ever three Closet title. Let's go to the catch up. Okay You know like everything was good with man ever I've right until we moved in together. And Jordan's like, yeah, like when you moved in together, things went bad, right shut up.

How do you know? You don't know how to add them all. It's so stupid. It's like, let's say you just announced it to the table as an example. I mean, it was just referring back to your example. Don't make me stand up for Jordan, please. It's so funny. So now, of course, that's over.

So now we get another party song. It's the other back at the house. It's like, oh no, they're not back at that house. No, no, no, no, no. They're like partying out in like Montauk or whatever. And Jordan and Danielle are making out. Yes. And so they're getting this on their camera phones because they're not allowed to have cameras

anywhere. Yeah. Yeah. So now they're, now they all come back to the house. The girls are like, all excited. They come in. They're like woo as if like something's about to happen when it's like you know 2 30 a.m. Or whatever So they're there I heard down popsicles in the pan oh, yeah, they're like a Carl and Paige are like having popsicles in the pantry Yeah, let's have some popsicles in pantry, but guess what nothing happens this time. Yeah, cuz the cameras are following them in there

This time he's like, cameras in the pantry. Like, guess what's the love of the pantry? Popsicles and hot dark girls who aren't mad at me. Have I already used that one? Have I already hit my quote of Jix references to page? I can't tell. So then it's just like Jordan and Danielle, the only one's left in the kitchen.

And like Jordan's sitting on a counter and his legs are wrapped around Danielle, who's like facing away from him. So he goes, he's twirking on him. Oh, that's what it was. Can't lift her. He goes, Danielle, come here.

And so she turns around and that leans in for a kiss. He goes, no, not in the kitchen. She's like, what is wrong with you and walks away? So she just, she goes up to bed and he stays in the kitchen just kind of staring at the island. Like what? It's going on here. But she leads her door open, which is like her way of being like,

I'm going to bed, but you can follow me in here if you want. Yeah, and he doesn't. He just sits down there. And she's like, oh, you'll make it with me in public, but our own kitchen, it's like, no, like, I'm really smart, but I can't figure this one out. Okay. He's just not that. I'm too. Okay. Yeah.

Or just like move on to some. I'll just stop. Yeah. Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself. Just stop. Yeah. What about that other guy who was ruling with the July fourth party? Why don't you go down that path because he was much hotter. Yeah, but that was the thirsting mini jacks. That's fine. It's worth it.

So now it's like two, two 13 a.m. and calls like in bed with Amanda. He's like, I'm hungry. So he gets up. He goes down to the pantry and then just like passes out of there. So this pantry is getting a lot of action this episode. And Amanda wakes up saying, Kyle, Kyle, she goes looking for him. And of course, he finds him with a pantry. Yeah. She goes, Kyle, one time he's moving forward, he literally takes two cents back into the pantry. How did she even know to go directly to the pantry? That was weird to me. Like that, it made me feel like either they planned it or that's just his thing. He's done that before. He wakes up and he benches in the middle of the night. He's like one of the secret leaders on YouTube.

Yeah. So now it's the next day and everyone's waking you up and Carl's like, mooring wood and blue balls. Like, those are four words that I'd never thought I'd be saying in the summer house. Other words, I never thought I'd be saying quota, summer Friday, pantry, and osteoporosis I'm in kral and a mandor waking up and he's like god, I'm so hungry. I think it's just because I only eat chips yesterday It's just you slept in the pantry Kyle There's also a discussion a start to real discussion about the afternoon trip to the

vineyard and Jordan's like, can I wear a tank top to the vineyard and Carl goes, a tank top to the vineyard? No. No. Someone called a fashion police because this guy needs to be apprehended. He has a first class case of osteoporosis. Oh my God, I can't believe I actually just said it.

So then Lindsay and Daniel are getting ready to go out for the day. And of course, Lindsay's making everything about her. Danielle's like, like, look, this dress is easy. I can drink it. Speaking of, yes, it goes to nowhere. She goes speaking of, we made out last night. And then in the kitchen, he's like, no.

And then she goes, first of all, you don't even know me and you don't know anything about our relationships. Shut your mouth. I'm like, I was like, oh, she really is still mad about this. Like, I thought that was just like a drunken fight, but she is not only mad, but like Daniel is trying to share her experience from last night and Lindsay just totally hijacked it, makes it about that stupid moment at the table. I was like this classic Lindsay. And Hannah's like, going to Nanas. We gotta go.

Bye. So getting on the stage, down set. Yeah, she leaves a page downstairs. She's like, um, we were pick thinking so I wore a tablecloth. Some people should have asked for advice. And then it cuts till Lindsay. And it's like blood red, poppy, colored, bowdress. Flowery print. That sounds like bowdress, another bowdress.

Just a disaster. Yeah. So as you love those things. So they all get on the party bus to the vineyard. And like Daniel says to Jordan, don't even think about sitting next to me dick And so they all get wasted on the party bus and cows like I understand Amanda wants me to work on drinking but a party Drought a party bus means party

Send it so Hannah then is at her grandpa's Send it. So Hannah then is at her grandpa's house. He's turning 90 and so everyone's there. Her grandma's there and there's like red dress like a little black choker. She's basically just this like You know, at the self-proclaimed self-sex kitten. Yeah, she is blanched over oh truly And then on the bus lenties like we're in the bus thing. I just say Hannah, Hannah goes to her dad or grandpa, uh, uh, grandpa, uh, like, hey, uh, so I've been spending a lot of time with the Hamptons. What do you think about the Hamptons? He's like, uh, I tried to avoid it as much as I can. And then there's like a smash cut to the party bus we hear them go let's fucking send it like I can understand this grandpa grandpa very well she's like but don't you like the party and he goes these days waking up every day is a party and then he cuts to the

bus like yeah let's see like whipping out our babes and then it cuts back to Hannah and talking to her and Anna and she's all sexy. She's like my Nana is sexy Like she so wears high heels and bikinis and she loves her Instagram We see her grandma's Instagram before posing all like sex kid me, you know, oh so funny And she goes so what's your beauty secret? What's your latest beauty secret? Granted Nana and Nana's like, oh, having a good husband. It'll be 60 years next year. I haven't had another man since I was 18,

and we fucked every single night. Well, interlately, now it's down to about three times a week. I was like, oh! Ugh. It's a lot. You go go girl. Girl. So now speaking of the sex we on the bus,

they're all talking about when they lost their virginity and like Kyle lost their virginity sophomore year at high school. And Jordan's like, I have a crazy story about how I lost my virginity. Are you guys ready? It's not rehearsed at all. So I was like in college. And I was like on the top bunk. I was my virginity. Are you guys ready? It's not rehearsed at all. So I was like in college,

and I was like on the top bunk, I was with this girl, and she's like giving me hair, and I was like, whoa, and then she like stuck her tongue in my asshole, and like I didn't know what to do. I had this like knee-jerk reaction, so I literally like kept her in the face, and she fell off the bunk, and broke her actual nose, and I had to take her to the hospital. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Like her actual nose. Yeah. Yeah. Also, how is it that if you're giving head to someone that then like logistically, how do you go from giving someone head to then sticking tongue in an an asshole? And how

does that catch you by surprise? They can't you sense that someone has like Like gone around to the back or turned you over like and as they said they're like Um, I don't want explaining cuz it's gross. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, never mind. Oh I was I was taking the wrong it's kind of like when you fly it's from like New York to Asia. You go over the poles That's what's going on. Okay, I figured I talked it through I talked to good god, there's an educational episode. So everyone's like, um, and I didn't know what they were all mad about, but everyone's just staying silent, you know, and I thought, um, maybe it's because he's like laughing about breaking new girls.

I was just kicking her off of bed. That's what I thought. But then Lindsay's like, um, pretty sure I saw that in a movie and it's called the 40-year-old verdant liar. Yeah. And also the like, also they were having like, she was giving him head after they had sex. Wait, so, oh, did he say it was after they had sex? Yeah. He said it was they had I thought he was just on his bed getting head from a girl or something. No, they had sex and then she was giving him head afterwards. Oh God. This is so confusing. So did that happen in the 40 year old virgin?

Exactly that story. What is wrong with this guy? I don't remember. I don't I haven't seen that movie in a long time But I'm assuming it's one of those flashbacks of like his sexual experiences and how they went awry What a loser like no one else saw that movie dope. Yeah. So no one believes that in the vineyard pages like I like to think of my life like a romantic comedy and the vineyard is so romantic. Carl's like, Hey, a page mind of how about I pick you up that way you don't have to walk and this could be even more romantic. I could be like Giannu and you can be like any number of actresses, okay? And so he just starts carrying her around.

He's like, Carl. And then there's like, we just sort of see them all like doing fun things. And there's like a big sign that says, do not feed anything to our horses and he cuts to a man's up feeding. Also, there's shit to a pony. You know, they had like a bottle of rosé

that had just been like put down that pony's throat And a page is like Carl the torts is trying to make out with me And Carl's talking to the guys. He's like oh guys like I'm horny and she's attractive But I don't think she's into me like last night we're in the pantry again and Jordan's like why do you keep going to the pantry? And that goes oh you thought if you took her to a familiar place, it's like this long time relationship. Like I took her back to the diner. The place where we first fell in love. We're I took her back to Niagara Falls. I took her back to the pantry. Right next to the quick cooking oats. I mean, Carl's like, um, the chase is hot, I guess, but how do you live in the

summer house with the guy like me chasing you and you're not into it? Oh, how about it's because when you saw a horse, you said, oh, my gentleman. You need more letters. You need more letters ironed on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so then like Jordan's like standing with the guys and like page and Hannah, I think or at least pay I'm sorry, just page I think is like standing nearby and Jordan's like, I made out with Dan yelling again last night. He just says it. So page is like, okay, um, I'll be right back. I'm definitely not going to go talk about about this behind your back. Just stay right there. Yeah, so she goes straight to the girls pick. About this behind your back just stay right there. Yeah, she goes straight to the girls picked me I can see something straight to the rosette

She's like um Jordan. She said I made out with Danielle again. I mean he was totally grossed out And then you know it goes in a bad way. I mean, why wouldn't you want to make out with me? Dole I'm a babe. I'm a babe. Go fuck yourself, dude So Jordan's like, um, here's the thing like we came home and she totally made out with me and tried to take me to bed. And Carl goes, why? And Carl goes, why? Why wouldn't you do that? But Carl's like, yo, like, you totally had a chance to do it.

Why wouldn't you do it? And he goes, I'm not hitting that. You know, you're in like, he's like, I'm listening. The thing is, I made out with three girls last night. So she was one of the three. So it's like, it'm listening. The thing is, I made out with three girls last night. So she was one of the three. So it's like, it wasn't like even special. Like, so now and then girls like, um, I'm not a math guy. But that's a lot.

Yeah. Oh, I was just gonna leave it. I'm not a math guy. I was just making general statement. Yeah, the space says, but that's a lot of checks. Oh, he's like, I definitely do not see him doing that. But then again, you know, I certainly got my quota of Jordan for the weekend, if you know what I'm saying, quota, quota, quota.

I'm getting quota somewhere. So how much is Jordan lying? Because is that just his thing? He's a complicit buyer. 100% because I think that they would know if he made that with three girls. They're all in like a tiny little place in the in the haptons. Jordan is the guy who gets like roped in, he's like in Wolf of Wall Street or something.

He's the one who gets like, there's some like alpha dude, there's some like Aaron Eckhart type person who comes up with some terrible scheme and Jordan gets ripped into it because he wants to be the cool guy and he talks everything up. And then when it comes time for someone to get killed, he's the first one to get killed.

You know when the thing goes wrong, he's the one. He's like, no guys, like, it's fine. You know when the thing goes wrong, he's the one. He's like, no guys, like, like, it's fine. Like, like, no, no, please, please don't do this. Please, I didn't mean to lie. I just, I just wanted to fit in and then they shoot him. Yeah, that's a joke. You have audiences cheering.

Yeah. So then Jordan tells us, he's like, I have an extremely long tongue and he sticks that sucker out. Yeah. And he's like, I love using this thing. I was like, you are so gross, dude. You're out grossing Carl.

Okay, Carl looks like a total gent. It's this big. Yeah, Carl's doing great this season. I'm like, I think I like Carl. I'm like, what, when did this happen? I know, I love Carl this year. I know, I like, I love Carl now. I need to, the fucking bravo.

That's how it does you. Oh, I was like, um, bro, like, I don't know why you wouldn't make out with that chick, but I say have fun. And if it leaves a finger banging on for it, Jordan goes, um, all right. Well, you know, if that happens, can I call and Carl for an assist? And they just both stare at him and Carl's like, uh, I did just storyline last season. So no.

And Carl goes, did you just proposition Carl for a three-way in Jordan cuz I tried Something is going on crazy episode this episode also also honestly if you say you love using that tongue like honestly Like why would you not? I'm not even saying like like eat her out or something like that I'm just like if she's trying to take you up to the bedroom not even saying like, eat her out or something like that. I'm just like, if she's trying to take you up to the bedroom, like why not? At the very least, just like have like a hot makeup session in the bed.

You know what I'm saying? Like, make any sense. Well, he's after Carl, so I think the question has been answered. So meanwhile, Lindsay is like sitting on that picnic blanket and she's all mad. She's like, oh, Jordan, he doesn't even know about me. All right. And when I keep saying these things,

it's really pissing me off. And it's like, it's so annoying. Like, I can't even go straight for the rosé. I have to like, go sideways and then back again for the rosé, because I'm so mad. Yeah, talking about my relations, and you're talking about, all right? You're talking about me moving in with my money,

and talking about my friend. I am in. You wanna case some point me? I will case and point you out of here Most devastating come back of all time Like I'm going to case and point you out of here Case and point can't point. It's a point my good Well that brings us to the end of summer high else so funny so funny I'm very excited If you guys enjoyed this recap, which hopefully you did and hopefully you live in the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Glendale, Greater Area, Tempe, come see us next Saturday because we'll be

talking to Summer House and it's going to be super, super fun. We're just going to make fun of these people all together. And same Portland for Roni who doesn't love real house was in New York So watch or crap ends calm to get tickets for those shows You only have a week left to get tickets don't wait any longer. It's time. It's time to do it act on it Okay, see you guys later. Bye Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by

completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.